Chapter Text
“I could marry Svetlana.” Ilya said casually looking at his phone.
Everything went still. Is he fucking with me?
“She’s American would be easy citizenship.”
Wow, he’s not joking. This motherfucker has his toes intertwined with mine. Wearing my flannel. On my couch. In my cottage.
“She would do it.”
I could burn this cottage down with both of us still in it. I could marry Rose how about that? Should I say that to shut him up?
“Her father is goalie Sergei Vitrov.”
My father is .. boring.
Shane needed to say something to get this man to stop talking before he either started crying or throwing hands. “Yeah, you’ve told me.”
Ilya didn’t stop talking though.
“She would help me.”
Okay Shane. Calm down. You can’t run away. This is YOUR cottage. I can kick him out though. But it’d be an awkward drive. I don’t think an uber would come out here. Could call a taxi, but that would be dangerous, what if someone leaked it?Fuck, he’s still saying words. I can’t with this man right now. Nod or something Shane. You’ve got to figure out a plan. You’ve also got to get him to shut the fuck up before you actually do murder him. Ok, maybe he will shut up if my dick is in his mouth. Okay.. I will casually start touching my thighs and dick. Why can’t Hayden call right now???
“Do what you want to do.” Shane responded and then preceded to casually stroke his dick through his shorts.
“And what do you want?” Ilya raised his eyebrows and looked at the tent in Shane’s shorts.
I want you to shut the fuck up about marrying someone else you Bisexual Russian terrorist.
“Hmm. An American Ilya make you hard?” Ilya smirked.
I swear to god I am going to kill this man.
Shane didn’t say anything. But Ilya took the hint and sat up on his knees, pulled down Shane’s shorts and started taking him in his mouth.
Shane was quite more aggressive than he usually was, he was pulling Ilya’s hair hard and pushing him down on his dick until he made loud wet sounds.
After he came in Ilya’s mouth, he met Ilya’s eyes. Shane’s eyes were black, something dark in them Ilya hadn’t seen before. If he hadn’t just blown him, he’d be a little scared of him right now. It was also extremely hot to Ilya.
“Come.” Ilya stood grabbing Shane’s hand. He led them to the bedroom and then took off all of his own clothes. Shane wasn’t following suit. He just laid back on his elbows on the bed watching Ilya, with that same dark look in his eyes.
“What are you doing? Take your clothes off” Ilya motioned.
Shane continues to eye Ilya while wordlessly taking off his clothes.
Ilya came onto the bed, putting towering over Shane’s body. Ilya started licking Shane’s neck.
Shane let out a hot puff of air with his head tilted to the side and then in one swift motion, flipped positions so he was on top of Ilya. He bit Ilya’s neck. And traced a line of hickeys down his slutty little v line, until Ilya flinched momentarily in pain. Then, he took Ilya in his mouth.
“Shane…. Fuck”
Shane sucked harder at each moan until Ilya pulled him up.
“Time to get your other pretty little hole ready for me. It’s been too long.” Ilya said getting the lube.
As he got into position to open Shane’s entrance up, Shane responded “ It’s only been 5 hours!”
“Still too long. At least it doesn’t take you as long to get ready again though.”
Before he knew it, Ilya was inside him again.
Shane closed his eyes and let out another deep breath. At least he had him, like this, right now.
Ilya fucked Shane so hard, he fell asleep immediately after, he didn’t even make it into the shower after Shane was done with his.
Ilya was fast sleep, but Shane got zero sleep that night. He replayed the entire week over in his head again to try understand what in the actual fuck would have possessed this man to say this. But then it had made perfect sense. Before Shane got hurt, he knew Ilya was going to break up with him. He wasn’t here to take a step forward with Shane, he was here to say goodbye. To fuck Shane out of his system, for once and for all. He wanted to marry her and get his citizenship. He wanted a normal, safe life. He had asked Ilya when they got to the cottage to be honest about how he feels and about what he wants, and well he was. Shane had to respect that. This is what he wanted. Even if it wasn’t what Shane had wanted, he had to respect that.
They had some of the best times of Shane’s life, but of course this wasn’t meant to last forever. Deep down, Shane wanted it to, of course, but they had to both want that for it to work. Even if Hunter was out, Ilya and he were arch rivals, the league wouldn’t accept that. Hell, I’m sure Hunter is going to have issues next season.
He could understand why Ilya had made this decision. If he didn’t want Ilya as badly as he did, he’d come to the same conclusion.
He loved Ilya.
Ilya did not love him.
Ilya liked him.
Not love.
Shane was staring at Ilya in bed, peacefully, when the tears started coming down his cheeks. This was going to fucking hurt so bad. But, at least Ilya was saying goodbye to him this time. At least it was a mature decision. He was being cautious of Shane’s feelings, which only made Shane love him more.
He was never going to love another the way he loved Ilya. No one could ever compare to this. No one could ever make him feel the way Ilya did. He always heard people say “when you know you know” well he now knew what they meant by that, only Ilya didn’t.
He let himself cry himself to sleep. Ilya’s last week here had to be perfect. No breakdowns. No crying. No running away. He wanted to give this, whatever it was…. connection….a proper goodbye. He could shove down all the hurt until after Ilya was gone. He could be strong for one week. He could act normal. He could.
Ilya woke up in the morning and Shane was still passed out, completely turned away from him on the edge of the bed. He frowned. Maybe he was moving around in his sleep or something. He had a dream about his mother leaving him last night. He knew it wasn’t real but he remembered trying to chase after her.
Ilya got up and walked to the other side of the bed and kissed Shane’s forehead. After his shower, Shane was still asleep so he snuck outside for a smoke. He smiled at the thought “sneak” because it wasn’t really sneaking, Shane had ashtray out on the rock already that looked brand new when he got there. He must have bought it for Ilya.
Ilya climbed up on the rock and lit up his smoke. He thought about how happy he was. He had Shane. He could get an American citizenship and Shane was okay with that, even turned on, probably more so that he was here to stay and Russia could not be the reason holding them apart anymore. That’d only be a last resort though, if he couldn’t get onto a Canadian team.
He wanted more from Shane, he wanted everything. But Shane hadn’t even wanted to tell his parents yet. He made sure they wouldn’t come over here while Ilya was there. He didn’t ask Ilya about that, he just lied to them. While Ilya understood, and wanted Shane to take everything at his own pace, God, he wished his parents would accidentally show up there. So he could be known to the people Shane loves the most… well… as someone other than his arch rival. To be known as his lover.
Ughh either way….time. He’ll do it in his own time.
Just then, he felt something warm coming across his back, he turned to see Shane there putting a blanket over them and handing him a coffee.
God, Ilya was so happy right now. He wanted to do this every summer for the rest of his life.
Later that day, Ilya was splashing Shane in the lake with water. “What if I had my phone?” Shane laughed with a pouty face.
Ilya laughed and told him it’s in the kitchen and had been ringing all day. To which, Shane almost immediately went inside to see who had been calling him, assuming it was his parents.
He saw his dad had texted him looking for his charger. Fuck.
Shane put on a shirt and grabbed his keys and the charger. He yelled outside to Ilya he’d be right back and that when he got out of the water he could start up the hot dogs on the grill if he wanted.
Thankfully, he had gotten to his parent’s house just as his dad was about to pull out of the driveway to come to Shane’s. That would have been bad.
“Thanks son, I was just coming over. How’s the silent retreat going?” David said smiling walking up the driveway.
“Good. See you guys next week.” Shane waved.
Yuna opened the door “Are you hungry? I was about to make pasta.”
Shane wished that he could stay and get that pasta for Ilya, he could just picture him going in on it. Yuna’s pasta was the best. His dad also stocked Russian vodka, Ilya would like that.
But Shane couldn’t have that. It wasn’t in the cards for him. Ilya wanted to marry Svetlana.
Shane frowned. “No, thanks.”
“You okay son?” David asked.
“Yeah, just wanting to get back home.” Shane said as he turned to go back to his Rangerover.
Shane was lost in thought on his ride back. Thinking about what could have been if he didn’t grab his phone and see those texts. In one world it could have made everything even more devastating, because they would know, Ilya would still leave and they’d know why Shane was so heartbroken. On the other hand, if Ilya hadn’t brought up marriage, maybe they could have had pasta and Russian vodka and he could have come out to his parents both about being gay and about Ilya. They could have made a plan.
Shane got to his house and saw Ilya out at his grill. He almost let a tear fall. He was never going to get this again, coming home to Ilya. Cooking. So domestic. Ugh.
“Where did you go? Parents?” Ilya asked
Shane nodded and put his arms around Ilya.
“Did they say anything? Everything okay?” Ilya asked secretly hoping somehow he had told them the love of my life Ilya Rozanov is at my house right now and I’m super gay and super in love with him and I’m going to kiss him on the ice when Boston wins the Cup next year and I’m in the stands to watch the game.
But that’s not how Shane answered.
Instead he said. “Yeah, everything is good. They bought the silent retreat. Dad just needed his charger. That was a close one though. Imagine if you didn’t tell me my phone was ringing all day and he just showed up here instead?”
Shane carefully watched Ilya’s face hoping for some reaction that would tell him he wanted more from Shane. But Ilya had a weird look on his face, not a good one.
Ilya responded “Yes, that would have been … bad”
That would have been the best case scenario. I want everyone to know you’re mine starting off with your parents. But we will get there one day.
Sadly, the day was here. The day Ilya had to go home. Both Ilya and Shane are emotional. Both were very affectionate.
I wish you’d ask me to stay longer. To be your boyfriend.
Ilya huffed. He needed to calm himself down and not let these thoughts turn these beautiful two weeks into a negative thing. He hated the way his brain would go there sometimes. He needed to control his emotions right now, for Shane.
I wish you wanted to marry me, not her. I don’t know how, we’d come up with a plan. Make it work. Even if it meant choosing you over hockey. I’d always choose you.
Shane turned unable to control the tears forming in has eyes. At least this was reasonable to have emotions, this was their goodbye. It wasn’t a random meal during the week he had to run into the bathroom to stop his tears. This was it. The final blow. He was about to get out of the car forever.
Ilya grabbed Shane’s chin and gave him a deep kiss. When he pulled away. Shane said “Thank you”
Ilya smirked. “I know I am a good kisser.” He winked at Shane.
Shane smiled sadly, “No. Thank you for doing it this way .. for not ghosting me for 6 months. This was the right way to end things. This was the perfect goodbye.”
Goodbye? Goodbye? Nooooooo what. This was ending things? I thought we were… but this is what Shane wants so suck it up right now in front of him.
“Yes….it was. See you next season.” Ilya responded not looking at Shane through his sunglasses. He grabbed his bad and walked into the airport