Chapter Text
The message to report to the canteen came with no explanation, which in Blue Lock universally meant one thing: someone was about to get publicly executed or Ego had dreamed up another way to make them suffer on camera. Maybe both.
By the time Isagi arrived, the room was already too loud. All the stratums had gathered together – far too much testosterone in one confined space. It felt like walking into a lion enclosure if every lion had a raging superiority complex of its own.
Michael Kaiser was laid back in his chair as if it were a throne, one arm slung casually over the backrest
while he half-listened to Ness and half-watched the room with predatory interest. Itoshi Rin stood by the wall, arms crossed, the very picture of someone who thought “this better have something to do with training.” He perfectly well knew it wouldn’t. Shidou Ryuusei, of course, had already claimed two chairs and was balancing them on their back legs, grinning at absolutely nothing like a maniac.
Okay. So far, perfectly normal.
Isagi sank into a seat next to Kurona and did a slow scan of the room. Then another. Nevermind. Something was off. There were garment racks pushed against the far wall, partially covered by cloth sheets, and stage lights mounted near the big screen that had never been there before.
He frowned as a prickle of dread crept up his spine. This can’t be good.
Bachira Meguru plopped down in the seat across from him, practically buzzing with excitement. “Do you feel that?” he asked cheerfully, eyes shining.
Isagi blinked. “Feel what?”
Bachira sat up and scanned the room eagerly. “The chaos!” he declared.
“That is not exactly a feeling, Bachira,” Isagi replied dryly.
Bachira just giggled. “No, I mean it, the chaos! The monster says today will be delicious!”
Before he could even ask for some elaboration, the massive screen flickered on, and Ego Jinpachi appeared, somehow looking even more drained than usual, which was kind of impressive.
“Diamonds in the rough,” he began without greeting, adjusting his glasses. “You have been selected for a new project.”
Groans erupted immediately.
“If this is about media training again, I am leaving!” Barou growled at the screen.
“You are not leaving,” Ego replied flatly. “If you attempt to leave, you might as well lock off.”
That shut everyone up. The man might be eccentric, but he was also terrifyingly consistent.
Ego continued in the same dry tone. “Blue Lock requires additional funding, the sponsors demand more engagement, and the fans want more content. Therefore…” he paused in dramatic silence, “…you will be performing in a stage play.”
The words hung in the air. Someone finally broke the silence. Shidou catapulted upright so fast his chair nearly tipped over. “A play?!” he shouted. “Are there fight scenes?!”
Ego’s expression remained exactly the same. “It’s a fairy tale, idiot,” he clarified.
Bachira practically squealed. “Oh my god! Are there costumes?”
Barou’s head snapped toward him. "Why the hell are you excited about this, you annoying pest?!”
“Because this is so much fun!”
“It is humiliating.”
“Same thing!”
Rin finally spoke up, tone icy. “This has nothing to do with football.”
Ego turned his gaze to their number one. “It has everything to do with football. Money supports infrastructure. Infrastructure supports training. Training supports your fragile egos and dreams.”
Kaiser smirked. “And what exactly are we performing? At least make it something entertaining. This circus is getting boring.”
“Silence,” the man sighed in exasperation, “Or your role will be switched to a background tree.”
“Pft.” Isagi tried to sound composed, but the snort slipped out anyway. Kaiser really was that ridiculous. Maybe the play should center around that?
That earned him a nasty glare.
He waited for the German to look away before letting a ghost of a grin tug at his lips.
Suddenly, Anri appeared on the screen beside Ego, her warm smile calming the chaos down a microscopic amount.
“No worries, everyone,” she said. “No one will be a tree. The scripts have already been written, and roles have already been assigned.”
The room erupted again. So much for calming the chaos down.
“You assigned them already?” Reo asked, sounding half-betrayed and half-impressed.
“Obviously,” Ego replied curtly. “If I let you choose your roles, nothing would go the way it should.”
“If I am not the king, this is pointless,” Barou said darkly.
“You are not the king.”
“I am.”
“You are not.”
“I am.”
“You. Are. Not.”
Barou slammed his fist on the table. “You are wasting a king in a supporting role?!”
Anri checked her clipboard and forced a smile. “Well, I’d say your part is just as grand,” she said, trying to be reassuring.
“It better be,” the king warned. “I won’t accept a role beneath me.”
Shidou was practically shaking in excitement. Possibly a dopamine rush. “Hey, hey! Am I evil? Tell me I am evil!”
“Yes.”
“I knew it! I radiate villain. I can feel my cells screaming in excitement!”
Rin, meanwhile, glared daggers at Shidou. “Well, tell them to shut the fuck up, annoying freak.” This was his personal hell.
Just then, the canteen doors creaked open again. Anri marched in, flanked by two assistants pushing heavy garment racks. As the cloth covers slipped, glimpses of fabric in every color and texture appeared.
Satin.
Lace.
Fur?
The room went silent once again.
One assistant stumbled, and a corner of the cover slid down. A flash of red fabric appeared.
A dress.
Isagi’s eyes darted to the red. His stomach turned.
He did not like this one bit.
Barou pointed at a particularly fluffy white outfit. “If that’s mine, I will burn this building down,” he warned.
Anri checked her clipboard.
Paused.
“…Don’t burn the building.”
Barou’s eye twitched.
Shidou lunged at a long black cloak with a red lining. “THAT ONE IS MINE! I CLAIM IT! IT’S CALLING TO ME!”
Isagi stared again at the red fabric.
He was almost certain—
“No,” he whispered.
Surely not.
Anri began calling names alphabetically and handing out scripts. The papers barely settled before the chaos resumed.
“What the fuck do you mean ‘Grandmother’?!” Barou roared, standing so abruptly his chair screeched in protest. “How is that a grand role?!”
Anri ducked. “Well… I think you should have respect for your elders,” she said quickly. “You know, like you should for a king. Close enough?” She did not get paid enough for this. She avoided the incoming rage and swiftly moved past him.
Next to him, Bachira grabbed his script. “A fairy?!” he squealed, eyes sparkling. “Will I get wings as well?!”
“Yes, actually!”
He clutched the script to his chest. “Oh, this is the best day of my life! Well, right after meeting Isagi, of course,” he added in a dreamy tone, nudging Isagi playfully.
The rest of the scripts went out in a blur.
Chigiri Hyoma — the Mother
He squinted at the page. “…I guess I do have the hair for it,” he muttered, resigned.
Kunigami Rensuke — the Father
He nodded solemnly.
Nagi Seishiro — the Magical Ancient Tree
Reo peeked at it and frowned. “Anri, didn’t you say no one would be a tree?” he asked.
Anri stammered, “W-well... he’s not just any tree... he’s magical,” she explained weakly.
Nagi looked at his script. Then at the ceiling. Then back at the script.
“So I just stand there and don’t move?”
“I... suppose?
“Perfect.” He folded the script once and immediately looked 80% more invested. “This is the least work I’ve ever done.”
Mikage Reo — the Forest Spirit
Reo brightened. “That sounds good enough.”
Oliver Aiku — the Narrator
Aiku skimmed the first line and smirked. “Oh, I get to judge all of you from a safe distance? Fantastic.”
Shidou Ryuusei — the Evil King
He shot to his feet. “YES! I KNEW MY VIBES WERE IMMACULATE~!” he shouted, pumping a fist.
Michael Kaiser — the Prince of the Woods
“Prince? Of course. A role worthy of my talents.”
Itoshi Rin — the Wolf
The temperature in the room dropped.
Bachira burst out laughing. “Rinrin! Are you the alpha wolf?” he teased.
A paper cup flew across the room with lethal intent.
“Shut the hell up! This is annoying enough without you buzzing around!”
“Aww,” Kaiser sighed, stepping closer. “Someone is unhappy about their role. But I think this suits you quite well, little brother. With the whole tongue-out act, I think you’ll excel as a puppy.”
In less than a second, Rin crossed the room and grabbed Kaiser by the collar. His fist twisted into the fabric, knuckles white.
If looks could kill, Kaiser would’ve been shipped back to Germany in a decorative urn.
Ego’s voice boomed from the screen. “Let him go. I will pretend I didn’t see this. Sit your ass down.”
Rin growled and shoved Kaiser back, returning to his seat. Kaiser straightened his collar. “Careful. You’ll wrinkle the prince,” he smirked.
When Anri reached Isagi and handed him his script, she hesitated just a fraction of a second.
Then she smiled too brightly and gave him a thumbs-up. “Good luck!”
That did not help.
Isagi opened the script, already bracing himself for something embarrassing but survivable.
He could adapt.
He always adapted.
Right?
But when he saw the words printed at the top, his heart stopped.
Isagi Yoichi - Little Red Riding Hood
Then heat rushed up his neck so fast he was surprised steam didn’t come out of his ears.
No.
He closed the script.
Slowly.
“…I would like to formally decline.”
Bachira immediately leaned halfway across the table and tried to read it upside down. “What did you get, Isagi?”
“Nothing!” he snapped, closing it.
Kaiser stood and stepped closer, interest piqued. “You said that with such fear. I’m intrigued.”
Isagi held the script tighter. “This must be a mistake!”
“Yoichi, let me see~” he purred.
Isagi leaned forward to avoid Kaiser’s hand. Unfortunately, Bachira used that opening. He practically launched himself over the table, snatched the script mid-tug-of-war, and skimmed it.
He froze.
Then his grin slowly stretched into something devious.
“Oh~”
“Do not,” Isagi warned, pointing accusingly despite being bright red.
Too late.
Bachira flipped the script around for everyone to see.
“Isagi is Little Red Riding Hood!”
Barou inhaled at the wrong time and nearly died. “He is what?!”
Nagi leaned over lazily from behind Bachira, squinting at the page. “Mm… that makes sense.”
Isagi whipped around. “How exactly does that make sense?!”
Nagi shrugged. “You tend to run into danger alone, ignore obvious red flags, and get eaten metaphorically every match.”
Isagi buried his face in his hands for a second. This was not helping.
Kaiser smoothly plucked the script from Bachira’s hands and scanned it himself. The little smirk that formed on his face looked absolutely feral.
“Little Red Riding Yoichi~” he read it aloud in a mocking sing-song. “This is excellent casting. Someone deserves a raise.”
Ness burst into giggles. “The ‘little’ part checks out,” he teased.
Isagi’s face went a distinct shade of tomato-red. “I AM NOT ‘LITTLE’!”
“Little Isagi-chan~” Bachira chimed in, eyes sparkling with pure mischief. “So adorable.”
“Bachira, you’re literally the same height as me…” Isagi groaned, betrayal written all over his expression.
“A centimeter taller!” Bachira announced proudly, as if this tiny advantage somehow made him a giant.
Isagi’s hands shot up to his face once more. “…I feel personally attacked.”
“Aw, don’t be so sensitive,” Bachira teased, leaning closer. “You do make a cute Red Riding Hood. Very… deadly-cute.”
“Deadly?” he froze. “That doesn’t make it better!”
Bachira grinned, clearly delighted. “You’re terrifying and adorable. A lethal combination.”
Isagi whimpered softly. He could already picture it: Rin as the wolf, chasing him through a dark forest while he pranced around in that ridiculous red dress. Total humiliation.
Rin, watching silently, muttered under his breath, “I hate everyone in this room.”
And yet somehow, Isagi’s humiliation was only beginning.
“Aww, why are you so flustered, Yoichi?” Kaiser mocked, delighting in Isagi’s panic. Every twitch, every squeak, it was pure entertainment. Isagi’s reactions just made him want to push further.
Rin, meanwhile, glared daggers at the German like he could incinerate him with his gaze. He wanted nothing more than to shove Kaiser as far away from Isagi as humanly possible.
But instead, he stepped closer, peeking at Isagi’s script.
“This is stupid,” he deadpanned.
“Correct,” Ego’s voice boomed in response.
Isagi spun around. “Then change it!” he shouted at the screen.
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because the audience requested you specifically.”
“W-what?” Isagi sank back into his chair.
“Isagi! You must be so loved by the fans, huh?” Bachira giggled, reaching across the table to fluff Isagi’s soft hair.
“…Your definition of love is kinda… twisted,” he muttered, slumping in defeat.
Suddenly, Chigiri materialized at Isagi’s side and pulled Bachira’s hand off. “Now, now, we don’t want to ruin the star’s hair, do we?” he said. A fond smile played on his lips. “At this rate, he might end up bald because of all of you.”
“B-bald?!” Isagi clutched his little sprout in genuine terror.
“You’re one to talk, Princess,” Bachira teased with a gleam in his eye. “You pet him more than anyone here.”
Chigiri’s cheeks flushed slightly, but he didn’t respond.
“Am I a dog or something?” Isagi groaned.
Why did the fans hate him so much?
He shot Chigiri a look of pure betrayal. “Why not you? You’re literally the princess. You’d make a way better Red Riding Hood than me!”
Chigiri tilted his head with mock seriousness. “I think you’re more suited.”
“That is not a good reason.”
“It is to me.”
“Ego, please don’t make me do this!”
Rin, still standing protectively by Isagi’s side, snapped at him, “Stop whining. You’re making it worse.”
“I am not making it worse!” Isagi shot back. “You’d be angry too if you were me!”
“I would never be cast as something so… lukewarm.”
“But you’re a wolf!”
“…Exactly.”
Suddenly, Shidou leaped onto the table, waving his script. “I kidnap you in Act Two!” he crowed. “It says here I drag you into my dark tower~.”
“That is not happening,” Isagi refused flatly.
“It’s in the script,” Shidou shrugged cheerfully.
“I will kick you.”
“Don’t threaten me with a good time!”
“Not in this context!”
Barou scoffed loudly. “You should be locked up in a different kind of prison, freak.”
“Last time that happened, he ended up hooking up with Rinrin’s brother though,” Bachira mused innocently.
“One more word…” Rin threatened, eyes narrowing to slits.
Ego cleared his throat over the speaker, unnervingly calm. “Control yourselves.”
At that exact moment, the canteen doors swung open again.
Itoshi Sae strolled in as though he were popping by for lunch, hands in his pockets. He glanced around at the racks of fabric, the scripts, the visible outrage, and finally, his gaze fell on the script in his hand. He read it aloud to himself, expression flat: “The Hunter.”
Rin’s jaw tightened. “Why are you here, shitty brother?!” he demanded.
Sae looked at him, unimpressed, then back at the script. “Curiosity,” he answered evenly. “Also… the budget doubles if I show up.”
Rin stood abruptly, the air around him vibrating with barely contained fury. His tongue threatened to make an appearance.
“Rin!” Isagi grabbed his arm, wide eyes staring up at him, brimming with a silent plea. “Don’t. You want to beat him on the field, right? You have to survive this first.”
Rin’s furious glare drifted down to Isagi’s pleading face, then to the small hand around his arm. Fuck.
“Right.”
Sae’s eyes swept over Isagi, making him shiver involuntarily.
“W-what?”
His face remained calm, almost boringly so. “I hope to see something interesting.”
Why are you here exactly?!
Isagi wanted to shout.
Aiku finally stood up from his seat, flipping his own script closed.
“As the narrator of this… masterpiece,” he announced, “I would like to observe that the Red Riding Hood appears distressed, the Wolf is about to attack, the Evil King is thriving, and the Grandmother is seconds away from a mental breakdown.”
“How observant, observant,” Kurona muttered.
“I am not about to have a mental breakdown!” Barou snapped, glaring daggers at everyone.
“Your face suggests otherwise,” Ness quipped.
Isagi dragged a hand over his face and looked at the costume hanging before him. It was even worse than he’d imagined: layers of soft red fabric were sewn into a ridiculously short dress. Underneath were sheer red stockings that left nothing to the imagination. The only modest thing was the long crimson cloak with its big hood. He shivered.
“They planned this,” he muttered under his breath.
Kaiser leaned in close. “Of course they did. You think they left it to chance?”
Isagi looked at him, incredulous. “You’re enjoying this!”
“I’m enjoying your reaction,” Kaiser corrected, not even trying to hide it. “That’s the best part.”
Rin scoffed at him. "You’re pathetic.”
“And you are jealous,” Kaiser replied smoothly, still staring at Isagi.
“Stop!” Isagi snapped, exasperation outweighing embarrassment. “Both of you. Can't you see I'm suffering here?”
For a fraction of a second, silence fell. A remarkable achievement in this room of chaos.
Ego’s voice cut through again. “Rehearsals begin tomorrow. Costumes are mandatory. Any attempt to sabotage this production, and your training privileges will be restricted.”
Barou’s mouth opened, ready to argue, but the word restricted landed hard enough to stop him.
Isagi sat frozen for a moment, feeling the weight of every pair of eyes on him.
He exhaled slowly.
“Fine, I will do it.”
Bachira actually cheered.
Shidou punched the air. “Yes! Tower scene!”
Kaiser leaned in, lips dangerously close to Isagi’s ear. “Little Red~.”
Isagi jabbed him in the ribs. “Try that again, and I’ll trip you on stage,” he growled, his face turning red once more.
Kaiser just laughed, clearly delighted.
Aiku raised both hands grandly. “Ladies and gentlemen, the fairy tale has not even begun, and already the tension is palpable. Our Red Riding Hood has accepted his destiny. I give it three rehearsals before someone ends up injured.”
“Shut up,” Kunigami muttered.
And somewhere in the middle of all the chaos, Sae watched Isagi with mild interest, as if he had found something worth sticking around for.