Work Text:
The first feeling Buck registered upon returning to consciousness was the hand in his. He squeezed it gently, not knowing the extent of his injuries, and Maddie gasped as she squeezed back.
“Buck?”
“Don’t tell Eddie,” he choked out, eyes still closed and mouth dry.
“Buck-”
“Maddie. He’s fixing things with Chris, I don’t want to come between that. I know he’ll come here. ‘m probably fine,” he mumbled, words slurring.
“You shouldn’t even be awake right now.”
“Promise me you won’t tell Eddie.”
“I promise that I won’t tell Eddie,” she agreed.
Buck made a sound of assent before going back under.
“Did he forget I’m his emergency contact?,” Eddie asked once Buck was back asleep, voice clouded with disbelief while Chris poorly concealed his snicker.
“I think I’d rather focus on how you were the first thing on his mind when he woke up. I guarantee he heard your voice when you were talking to me and that triggered something in his brain.”
“I mean he’s not wrong, but I brought Chris with me so he can’t be mad.”
“What am I, your human shield?,” Chris asked with a snort.
“Stop growing then maybe I won’t need to use you as a shield,” Eddie retorted playfully.
Buck seemed… relatively okay, so Eddie was finally able to relax some.
“You’ll stay with him?,” Maddie asked, pressing a kiss to Buck’s forehead.
“Of course we will. Hen said Chris can have a sleepover with Denny since we’re assuming Buck won’t be discharged until at least tomorrow morning. Denny sounded very excited despite the circumstances.”
“I missed Buck too,” Chris said softly, looking at Buck. “I don’t want to leave until Buck is awake.”
“Good. He won’t yell at me if you’re here.”
Maddie laughed, hugging Chris and Eddie tightly.
“I’m happy you’re here, and he will be too. Keep me updated?”
“Always,” Eddie promised.
No matter where Eddie was or what he was doing, he would drop everything for Buck, and this proved it. Maddie knew her brother was in the best possible hands.
Eddie and Chris were in the kitchen when Eddie’s phone, face up on the table, rang. He looked at it, face falling, making Chris lean over to look at it too. Eddie moved to get up and leave the room, but Chris grabbed his arm and shook his head.
“Eddie Diaz.”
“Hi Mr. Diaz, Evan Buckley has just been admitted to Cedars-Sinai. He was hit by a beam on a call. He’s currently in a medically induced coma so we can monitor his brain for swelling. A few of his ribs are bruised but aside from that he seems to be doing okay.”
“I’m out of state right now but I’ll be there as soon as I can. Thank you Marcia.”
And how bad was that, that Eddie could recognize the hospital worker speaking to him on his phone?
“If we pack and leave in five minutes we can make the next flight that leaves in two hours,” Chris remarked.
Eddie looked at him, really looked at him, and nodded.
“Go pack, I’ll get the tickets.”
Just the thought of being in the same room as Buck again made something loosen in Eddie’s chest, despite the circumstances. They spoke every day, multiple times a day at that, but there was nothing like being in the same room and being able to touch each other. Buck was getting the biggest hug from Eddie when he was awake.
Eddie called Maddie on their way to the airport.
“I’m on my way now,” she said in lieu of a greeting.
“So am I. Chris and I are on the way to the airport.”
“Send me your flight details, I’ll find someone to pick you up and bring you here.”
“Thanks Maddie.”
“Thank you, for coming.”
“Always. It’s Buck,” Eddie said simply, and those two words carried more weight than anything else.
“Did you tell grandma and grandpa?,” Chris asked as he took his dad’s phone to send Maddie their flight information.
“Nope,” Eddie replied, hands tightening on the wheel. “I don’t have the time nor the energy to deal with them. Trying to get you out of Texas the first time was hard enough. I can’t imagine what they’d try to do this time.”
“What did they say to you?”
“Chris-”
“Dad. We said we would be honest with each other,” Chris said firmly, leveling Eddie with a look he must have picked up from him.
Eddie exhaled, jaw clenched as he gripped the steering wheel even tighter.
“You’re not going to be able to look at them the same way again,” Eddie warned.
“If it’s about me, I deserve to know.”
Eddie waited until they were at a red light so he could look at Chris when he delivered the blow. Chris was old enough, and Eddie supposed he did deserve to know.
“When we were leaving the first time, your grandma told me that you should stay in Texas with them so that I didn’t ‘drag you down with me’. They said that I wasn’t stable and they were the only constant in your life. I accused your grandpa of trying to steal you to make up for the childhood that he never gave me. Your grandma followed up by saying I had to do the right thing for you, which in her mind was to leave you with them, and I got so mad I stormed out of the house.”
“That’s when you found me on the porch,” Chris said quietly, turning his head to look out the window and blinking away tears.
“You told me that you missed me all the time and I vowed that I would never leave you again. Then we packed up for LA and left pretty quickly after that. In the name of honesty, I hate El Paso and I never wanted to come back here.”
They sat in silence for a while, Eddie allowing Chris to gather his thoughts.
“I’m sorry. I went to them to hurt you, I just didn’t realize how much it would hurt you. I didn’t know dad,” Chris pleaded.
“I didn’t want you to know, that was my choice. Just because they treated me horribly doesn’t mean you can’t have a relationship with them. They treat us very differently, mijo. I can’t fault you for what you needed. We can have a later conversation about how we don’t have to hurt back the people who hurt us in the first place, but I understand that you needed some distance.”
“Yeah, they baby me,” Chris huffed.
“It’s better than the alternative. I wanted you to have as much independence as possible while also knowing that if you needed help, or if you just needed me, I would be there for you. Any time, any place Christopher. You’re my son, and they don’t get a do over. Three kids, three chances, and nothing but telling your 10 year old son that he's the man of the house now.
They can comment on my parenting all they want, but at least I can recognize when I’ve fucked up and admit it and try to fix it. I don’t sweep things under the rug and hide behind passive aggressive comments and cutting remarks to make myself feel better.”
“I didn’t know they treated you like that.”
“There’s a lot you don’t know because I tried to protect you from it. There are reasons why Buck hates them so much. Aside from your grandma acting like she’s never met him before every time she sees him,” Eddie scoffed.
“Tía Pepa said they parentified you.”
“When your grandma went into labor with Adriana it was only her and I at home. I could barely see over the steering wheel and I tried to drive her to the hospital. I scraped up your grandpa’s truck. He wasn’t there when any of us were born, you know. I cooked, I cleaned, and I made sure your tías were taken care of as best as I could. I never wanted something like that for you. I wanted you to be a kid.”
“You were there when I was born.”
“I was,” Eddie said softly. “I was terrified, and you were so small, but the first time I got called your dad I knew that’s what I was supposed to be.”
“I can’t believe you made it home from war to see me be born but grandpa couldn’t leave work,” Chris scoffed, and Eddie laughed, despite himself.
“Priorities mijo. I wasn’t the best dad in the beginning, I know that. I enlisted a second time without telling your mom because I was scared and we…”
“Needed the medical coverage. I know you did it for me. I heard mom arguing with them about it before one of my surgeries. Grandma and grandpa are very loud.”
“Your grandparents also equate being loud to being right. Still though, there were other ways and I just jumped right back in, and that wasn’t fair to either of you.”
“Then you wouldn’t have a cool silver star though,” Chris joked, and Eddie finally exhaled.
“My number 1 dad mug means more to me than that. I love you Christopher, so much. You’re my everything, and I’m going to keep fixing this.”
“There’s left nothing to fix dad. We still need to talk about that, but I’m not mad anymore. I wanted to come home after a few days but I didn’t know how to ask. I didn’t know if I could ask.”
“I’m sorry that you didn’t feel like you could, and I’m sorry that it took me so long to come after you. I should have asked you what you wanted instead of making that choice for you. I’m asking you now, what do you want mijo?”
“I want to come home to LA. I miss Buck, a lot. I miss Abuela, Tía Pepa, all of my friends. I missed you too.”
“Yeah, I’ve missed Buck too. A bit dramatic of him to pull this so we have to come home huh?”
“I’m so telling him you said that,” Chris replied with a snort.
“God, I can already see his face,” Eddie said, laughing to himself.
“You really missed Buck, huh?,” Chris asked innocently, looking out the window.
“Christopher,” Eddie warned.
“I’m just saying. You’re always on FaceTime or texting him. You talk about him all the time. You still have your movie nights and sometimes you stare longingly at the photo of the three of us on the wall. I’m just saying… it would be okay. Buck always stays.”
“I didn’t though.”
“He told you to go, I know he did, because he loves me, and he loves you. The difference between all of those other people that left him is that we came back. We’re coming home to him.”
“When did you get so wise?”
“I was raised by two very loving dads,” Chris said simply.
Eddie let that sit there between them, hanging in the air until he parked at the airport.
“Do you think he-”
“Oh my God dad, he literally gave up his really cool loft to sublet our house so that when we came home we’d have a place to come back to. He knew we’d come home eventually. Buck has been here since I was 7 years old, he’s not going anywhere. It’s Buck. It’s time for us to show him that we’re not going anywhere either, not without him.”
“Yeah, it’s Buck,” Eddie said fondly. “We need to go, come on.”
That’s how Eddie found himself and his son in Buck’s hospital room, waiting for him to wake up on his own. Buck’s head was fine thankfully, it was just his ribs everyone was worried about. His helmet had come off in the fall but his brain scans came back normal. Now, they were just waiting for him to wake up.
When Eddie’s parents called him, he sighed, leaning forward to kiss Buck’s forehead before leaving the room. Buck didn’t need to wake up to all of that.
A few minutes later, Buck stirred. With his eyes still closed, he tested all of his limbs gently, inhaling sharply at the pain in his ribs.
“Fuck.”
“That will be one dollar for the swear jar.”
Buck gasped, opening his eyes and turning his head so quickly his vision swam.
“Christopher?”
“Hi Buck.”
“You’re here? You’re actually here?”
“We were here before, you just didn’t open your eyes,” Chris said with a snort, getting up to carefully hug Buck.
“I missed you Superman. So much.”
“I’m sorry. I missed you too.”
“You have nothing to apologize for Chris, do you hear me? You did what was best for you at the time, and I will never fault you for that,” Buck said firmly.
“Dad said the same thing.”
“He’s very wise, you should listen to him.”
Buck heard Eddie’s laugh before he saw him, a grin lighting up his face before he could stop it.
“I know you missed me, but there were easier ways to get me to visit than getting hit by a beam,” Eddie teased, leaning against the doorway.
“Eds,” Buck said softly.
“I’m going to the vending machine,” Chris said, giving his dad a pointed look.
“Eddie-”
“Shut up Buckley,” Eddie muttered as he crossed the room, gently pulling Buck into a hug.
There was nothing better than feeling Buck relax into him, knowing he was safe.
“Of course we came, it’s you.”
“But Texas-,” Buck began to protest weakly.
“Is strongly lacking Evan Buckley, my best friend. Do you really think if the hospital wouldn’t have called me, your emergency contact,” Eddie began pointedly, “that I wouldn’t have noticed something was wrong? Buck we share each other’s locations. The minute you wouldn’t have texted me back or answered my phone call I would have checked and found you here. Same end result, except this means I got to be here for when you woke up.”
“I… did not think that through,” Buck replied with a bashful huff, burying his face in Eddie’s neck.
Eddie gently ran his hand through Buck’s hair.
“Let me get the doctor-”
“Just one more minute please, I missed you.”
“I missed you too, Buck. So much. I’m glad you’re okay.”
When Buck finally let Eddie pull away, he brushed Buck’s curls off his forehead before pressing a kiss to his birthmark.
“I’ll be right back, and I’m going to let Maddie know you’re awake.”
“Okay,” Buck replied on an exhale.
Eddie just… Eddie’s mouth- Buck needed- Buck didn’t know what he needed other than to not panic because his heart rate monitor was going to give him away. Oh God. Breathe Buck, breathe. That could be a… normal best friend thing. Right? Right.
His heart rate had barely gone when the doctor came in, but Eddie smiled fondly at him and his heart rate went back down naturally. Buck trusted that Eddie was listening to the doctor’s instructions, realizing too late that Eddie couldn’t drop everything and stay with him throughout the healing process. Well, shit he needed to-
“Breathe, Buck. I’ve got you,” Eddie promised, squeezing his hand.
If Buck couldn’t believe in Eddie, he couldn’t believe in anything.
“When can I go home?”
“Tomorrow, we want to continue to monitor you overnight.”
“Alright,” Buck said with a sigh, leaning back into his pillows, accidentally tugging Eddie forward. “Sorry Eds.”
“It’s okay Buck, get some more rest. I’ll be here when you wake up.”
“Yeah,” Buck said softly, drifting back to sleep.
True to his word, the next time Buck opened his eyes it was dark, but Eddie's hand was still firmly in his.
“Hey Buck, how are you feeling?”
“You’re still here.”
“Of course I’m still here. I told you I would be.”
“Chris-”
“Is having the time of his life at a sleepover with Denny. Which means you and I get to have a sleepover now. Please contain your excitement.”
Buck laughed, squeezing Eddie’s hand.
“Really though, you didn’t have to come.”
“Buck, when the phone rang I was in the kitchen with Chris. He saw who was calling and before I even hung up he found flights for the both of us. We love you so much, of course we’d be here for you,” Eddie said simply, as if it was fact.
Obviously, it was, but Buck didn’t know if he’d ever stop diminishing his presence in other people’s lives.
“I love you both too.”
“We know you do, and we’re so lucky to have you,” Eddie replied, voice earnest.
“Come sit up here with me?”
“Buck, this bed is not made for two grown men,” Eddie said with a laugh, but he couldn’t say no to Buck, not when he looked at him with those sad eyes.
“We’ll survive.”
Buck shifted carefully, trying to give Eddie as much space as possible. When Buck winced, Eddie gently pulled Buck to lay against his chest.
“This okay? I’m not pulling on your ribs?”
“No, you’re not,” Buck replied softly.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there.”
“You’re here now Eds, that’s what matters. For however long you’re here, it’s enough. Let’s be honest, if you were there we probably both would’ve gotten hit by the same beam.”
“Best friend goals,” Eddie teased, making Buck chuckle.
Neither man had laughed this much in such a short time period in months.
“How’s Texas?”
“I hate it so fucking much Buck. I think my parents are actively trying to make me kill one of them so they can take Chris and have legal grounds to do so.”
“Your parents are assholes and I hate them. Jokes on them though, I have the will. It’s like my secret weapon.”
“Likewise. My mom would completely lose her shit if she found out. Chris and I play a little game where we see how many times a day we can mention you in conversation. She’s developed an eye twitch whenever she hears your name, it’s the highlight of my day.”
Buck laughed loudly, and Eddie stifled it with his hand, despite missing hearing the sound in person.
“Shh, you’re going to get me kicked out!,” Eddie hissed.
“Nah, they love us. We’re their favorite patients. If they try to kick you out I’ll make my heart rate spike so that you have to stay because you’re good for my health,” Buck replied smugly.
“You’re too much Buckley.”
“I’m never too much for you Diaz,” Buck retorted with a grin, smiling up at Eddie from his place on his chest.
“No, you’re not,” Eddie agreed, voice fond. “I’m glad you finally realized that.”
They laid there in silence for a few minutes, relishing in the comforting quiet they had missed.
“You and Chris are doing alright now?,” Buck asked cautiously.
“Oh yeah, we had a long talk on the way to the airport. We talked about Texas, LA, my parents, you.”
“Me?”
“Buck, this may come as a bit of a shock, but we’re kind of obsessed with you.”
Buck snorted, swatting at Eddie’s arm playfully.
“I mean it. You’re an integral part of our family, Buck. I know if I would have asked you to come with me you would have.”
“Of course I would.”
“I couldn’t ask this time, I had to face Texas again on my own. But you were there for me every single step of the way. I wouldn’t have gotten through it all without you. Especially all of our FaceTime calls, they felt like my only lifeline some days.”
“It’s what I’m here for. They helped me too, a lot,” Buck admitted.
“I do think I made Chris hate his grandparents though.”
“He can join the club, I’m the president.”
“Why aren’t I the president?,” Eddie questioned.
“Because you’re president of the hating my parents club, duh. What did you say to him?”
“We were talking about how I grew up and how my dad wasn’t around for that and how I thought he was trying to use Chris as a do over kid. We talked about that day I decided to move to LA and now they told me, verbatim, that I was going to drag Christopher down with me-”
“Oh fuck those fucking assholes!”
“Buck,” Eddie said softly, running his hand through Buck’s hair. “You’re getting all worked up and you’re going to summon a nurse in here.”
“God help them the day that I come and visit you in Texas,” Buck muttered, turning his face into Eddie’s hand.
“Chris was obviously not happy to hear that. He did say something that made me laugh though. He looked at me and he said, ‘I can’t believe you made it home from war to see me be born but grandpa couldn’t leave work.’ I think that really put some things into perspective for him. He’s not mad, and we’re okay. We’ve still got some things to work through, but I feel like I can breathe again.”
“Yeah, actually talking about things usually has that effect.”
“It’s not just Chris, it’s being here with you too. Being back here with you feels like I can finally take a full breath. I’d prefer you not in the hospital obviously, but everything just feels… quiet now,” Eddie trailed off, toying with Buck’s fingers.
“Yeah, I get it. Everyone always jokes about us being codependent but I think it finally sank in when you left just how ingrained you are in my daily life.”
“It should be illegal for me to wash dishes without you next to me. And grocery shopping? I forgot how much I hated it without you in my ear and helping me pick out the right produce. I think all of my bananas ripen faster without you. Either that or someone is pumping ethylene into that house and I do not appreciate it.”
“That’s the nicest way someone has ever said they miss me. We’ll have to investigate the ethylene production of your house though.”
“Not my house,” Eddie corrected. “You are in my house. Our house. Texas is just walls, Buck.”
“Your house just feels like walls sometimes too without you in it,” Buck confessed.
“I’m sorry that you had to do that for me. Don’t worry, when we go home tomorrow I’ll make sure Christopher walks in screaming and smacking his crutches against the wall.”
“You’re so dumb,” Buck said with a quiet laugh, shaking his head.
“It made you laugh though,” Eddie said around a yawn.
“Get some sleep Eddie, you must be exhausted.”
“Yeah, I should get back to my chair.”
“Can you stay like this? Right here?,” Buck asked quietly.
“You’re sure you’re not hurting your ribs and you’re comfortable?”
“I’m sure.”
“If you wake up and I’m not here it’s because they kicked me out,” Eddie warned, gently shifting so that he could sleep.
“Nah, I think half of the staff thinks we’re married anyway.”
“Yeah, that tracks. Lucky me. Goodnight Buck.”
“Goodnight Eddie.”
When Eddie finally fell asleep, Buck grabbed his phone to check in with Maddie. He told her he would be discharged in the morning, and she offered to swing by the hospital to bring Buck and Eddie home. She asked Buck if he was sure if he was alright, and he sent her a selfie back from his position on Eddie’s chest. Buck fell asleep soon after, content with where he was.
Buck woke up once when a nurse came to change his iv bag, playfully clicking her tongue at him and Eddie.
“I saw absolutely nothing. You’re lucky, to have a partner who cares so much that he won’t let you out of his sight.”
“Yeah, Eddie is the best.”
“You okay Buck?,” Eddie asked quietly, eyes fluttering open.
“Yeah Eds, just getting some more fluids. Go back to sleep, it’s just Patricia. We’re okay.”
“Okay,” Eddie agreed, falling back asleep once he knew Buck was okay.
“What a dreamboat. Get some more sleep Buck. I’ll try to be the one to come in in the morning. Just watch your ribs please.”
“Thank you.”
The next time Buck woke up the sun was up and Eddie was running his fingers through Buck’s hair.
“God, I cannot wait to take a shower,” Buck mumbled.
“You and me both. Come on, up you go so I can pretend like I slept in that chair all night.”
“We can pretend you slept in the chair and you can just sit next to me. Here, I’ll shift so you can move. There. Nobody but us and Patricia will know.”
“What do you want for breakfast? I can have something delivered to the house.”
“One of those breakfast burritos sounds phenomenal right now honestly. With orange juice.”
“Hold on, Maddie is calling me. Hi Maddie. Yeah, your Buck senses must’ve been tingling, he just woke up a little bit ago. I’ll text it to you. Just waiting on the doctor now. Yeah, of course. Bye Maddie.”
“My own sister didn’t even call me,” Buck said with a dramatic sigh.
“She didn’t want to wake you in case you were sleeping, and she knows I’m a light sleeper. She’s heading our way soon and will be picking up our breakfast on the way. That should give us enough time to get you discharged.”
“Thank God, our couch is calling my name.”
“I think you mean our bed,” Eddie corrected, eyebrow raised.
“But there’s no tv in there,” Buck pouted.
“You don’t need tv, you have me.”
“That… is unfair. You know I can’t come back from that.”
“Yeah, I know,” Eddie replied with a smirk.
The doctor knocked on the door before Buck could retort. He didn’t have anything to say anyway, choosing to stick his tongue out at Eddie instead, but Eddie didn’t need to know that.
“I’m glad to see you’re feeling better Mr. Buckley.”
“All thanks to Patricia’s fantastic care.”
“Right then. I just need to do a few last checks and then we can get you discharged. I’ve already sent your prescription to the pharmacy we have on file. If the pain worsens you can come back and we’ll prescribe something stronger, but let’s see how you do with the over the counter pain meds. There’s also cream to help with the bruising. You’re also going to want to ice your ribs intermittently to help with the swelling.”
“I’ll take care of him,” Eddie promised, moving back to the chair so the doctor could finish looking over Buck.
“I have no doubt that you will. No strenuous activity for at least a week, but I’d prefer 2 weeks. You should be able to resume regular duty after 3 weeks, but please listen to your body.”
“Thanks doc.”
“Have a nice day gentlemen.”
“You too.”
“Here, I have clothes you can change into, then we’ll get that paperwork filled out. Let me help you up. Nice and slow, Buck.”
Once Buck was fully standing, he tentatively wrapped his arms around Eddie in a hug.
“Missed you.”
“I missed you too. Prepare to be sick of me for the next week.”
“Never. I’d surgically attach myself to your side if I could get away with it,” Buck replied, pulling away.
“I’d let you. Come on, let me help you get your shirt on.”
“Yeah, that’s gonna be a bitch for a while.”
“We’ve been through worse. There’s no bullet wounds and no casts, so I think we can call this a successful visit.”
“I’m just purple and yellow now,” Buck replied with a snort, looking down at his chest and stomach.
“I’ve always been fond of the color purple,” Eddie remarked, drawing his eyes away from Buck’s chest to carefully help him into his shirt.
“Asshole,” Buck retorted, no heat in his voice.
“Yet you love me anyway. Raise your standards Buckley.”
“I’m in it for your kid.”
“I’m an expert at baby trapping, what can I say?,” Eddie replied, handing Buck boxers and sweats to change into.
“I trapped myself, you get no credit for that.”
“No credit for helping make the kid? That’s rude.”
“Eh, he looks more like me anyway,” Buck replied with a grin, bumping his shoulder into Eddie’s.
“I don’t know how I managed to do that genetically but it just makes sense. Sit on the bed, I’ll help you with your shoes. You shouldn’t bend over.”
“Thanks Eds.”
“You don’t have to keep thanking me, Buck. I like taking care of you. I like it even more when you don’t argue about it.”
“Oh, that’s rich coming from you,” Buck replied with a snort.
“Hey! I’m getting better at it. Do you know how hard it is to actually talk about your feelings instead of just saying everything is fine? We still need to talk later with Chris too. He said Karen is going to drop him off around lunch time.”
“And you still think you can get me off that couch when Chris is coming? In your dreams Diaz.”
“I’m going to suffocate you with a pillow.”
“Nah, you missed me too much,” Buck replied with a cheeky grin. “Let’s go fill out those forms so I can get out of here. Maddie is a few blocks away.”
Despite all of the teasing, Eddie was there for Buck to lean on if he needed support. He matched his pace and didn’t rush him. Buck was grateful for how attuned to each other they were in times like these.
With the paperwork done they found Maddie’s car easily, and Eddie helped Buck get situated in the front seat and reclined his seat back until he was comfortable before buckling him in. When they got to the pharmacy, Eddie ran inside to get Buck’s meds, a new ice pack, and some snacks.
“So, would it still be so crazy?,” Maddie asked Buck as soon as Eddie was out of sight.
“Maddie,” Buck warned.
“He loves you Evan. Eddie packed himself and Chris up in like 2 hours to get to you when you had a non-life threatening injury. They didn’t need to be here but they wanted to be, for you.”
“Well, Eddie did kiss me on the forehead. He’s never done that before. But that could be-”
“I have not once ever kissed any of my best friends on their foreheads before you even start.”
“He told me that being back with me was like finally being able to take a full breath. God, I was so clingy. I made him sleep in the hospital bed with me.”
“Evan, he literally fell asleep with a smile on his face because of you. You sent me a picture! I’ve known Eddie for years, I also worked with him in case you forgot, he does not do anything that he doesn’t want to do.”
“I don’t know Mads, he’s leaving again. I just want to enjoy the time that I have with him for now.”
“Just, don’t rule out the possibility. You’re a catch Buck, and if anyone knows that, it’s Eddie “
“Thanks Maddie.”
“I mean it.”
“Alright, we’re all set,” Eddie said, getting back into the car.
“Do you need me to pick up Christopher, Eddie?”
“He said Karen is going to drop him by around lunch time, but thank you. How’s Jee?”
“Talking as much as her Uncle Buck,” Maddie teased.
“That just means she’s wise beyond her years,” Buck cut in.
They continued making small talk as Maddie drove them back to the house.
“Welcome home Eddie,” she said fondly as she put the car in park.
“Thank you Maddie. Thanks again for picking us up and dropping us off.”
Maddie gave Buck one last look while Eddie was getting out of the car, and he shook his head at her.
“Slowly, I’ve got you.”
“Buck, did you need groceries?,” Maddie called out the open car window.
“I have enough to hold us over for like two days. If I need anything I’ll call.”
“You better. Get some rest please.”
“Yes mom,” he replied fondly. “Thanks for breakfast.”
“You’re welcome.”
It struck Eddie how almost nothing had changed when he walked into his house. Sure, Buck’s furniture was here now, but their stuff had always been intertwined in the past. This didn’t feel all that different.
Eddie disappeared down the hallway briefly, and Buck started unpacking their breakfast until Eddie came back.
“Breakfast, and then we shower,” Eddie instructed. “You rearrange my kitchen Buckley?”
“Glasses are where they always were. Everything else? Yeah, I made things more functional.”
“You’ve been wanting to get your hands on it for years, I figured that was the first thing you did.”
“Guilty as charged,” Buck replied with a smile.
They ate in silence, legs intertwined under the table. Both men had missed the simplicity of moments like this, and kept smiling at each other between mouthfuls of food.
“Shower time, come on.”
“I can-”
“Buck you couldn’t even put your own shirt on. Let me at least wash your hair so that you don’t have to stretch wrong. I remember how you like it washed.”
“Okay.”
After Eddie helped him remove his shirt, Buck sprawled out on the bathroom floor, back pressed against the tub, head tilted back.
“Feeling okay?”
“Minimal discomfort, yeah.”
“Alright,” Eddie replied, tugging his shirt off and throwing it into the hamper.
Buck was in his own personal saw trap.
“I don’t want to get my shirt wet,” Eddie explained, turning his head as he felt his cheeks heat, busying himself with getting Buck’s shampoo and conditioner.
“You hate wet sleeves, I remember.”
Was Buck supposed to close his eyes? Is this better or worse than Eddie actually being in the shower with him? Worse, he decided, because at least the last time this happened Buck still thought he was straight and not in love with his best friend.
“You okay?,” Eddie asked, eyebrows furrowed in concern.
“Yeah, my side was just pulling,” Buck lied.
“The shower chair will be better. Let me help you up. Take your pants off, I’ll be right back.”
“Well fuck. Nice going Buckley,” he muttered to himself, running a hand through his hair and wincing.
He tugged off his sweatpants forcefully which was a very bad idea.
“Shit!”
His foot got stuck in the leg just as the bathroom door opened and Eddie looked up in time to catch Buck, who had tripped in the tangled fabric.
“We need to change your name from Buck to Fawn,” Eddie teased, bearing Buck’s weight as he fell into him.
Buck’s face was on Eddie’s bare chest. He now knew what Eddie’s bare chest felt like against his skin. God help him.
“You okay down there bud?”
“Peachy,” Buck muttered, moving his face away.
“Yeah, I’m going to grab you some shorts after your shower,” Eddie replied, helping Buck step out of his sweats. “Here’s the shower chair. Please use it when you actually shower, I don’t want to have to pick your bare ass off of the tub.”
“If I die in the shower please dry me off and clothe me. That’s my final wish,” Buck said dramatically.
“Don’t worry, I won’t subject anyone else to your pale ass. Sit.”
“You’re the best friend a guy could ask for.”
“I know,” Eddie replied with a laugh, taking off his sweatpants before turning on the water and checking the temperature. “Shampoo and conditioner. Need anything else?”
“Yeah, can you grab my face wash? It’s on the top shelf in the cabinet.”
“Sure.”
Eddie was not wearing pants. Eddie was stretching, in only his boxers, directly in front of Buck. Was this a coma dream? It felt like a coma dream.
“Face wash. I’ll leave it on the sink. Tilt your head back for me?”
Buck was just going to close his eyes and disassociate and everything would be fine. He had the perfect excuse to close his eyes anyway.
“Is the water temperature good?”
“Yeah, thanks Eds.”
“Always.”
Eddie was very methodical with his hair washing, and Buck had reached flow state. He was so relaxed and felt himself drifting off to sleep.
“Nap time after your shower,” Eddie said quietly.
“It’s not my fault your hands are magic. I’m jealous of every dish you’ve ever washed.”
Eddie laughed and shook his head fondly.
“I’m going to rinse now, then I’ll apply the conditioner. Let that sit while you wash your body and I’ll come back to rinse it out. I’m leaving the door open, just call me when you need me.”
“Okay.”
When Eddie disappeared, Buck carefully got himself situated in the shower. He moved slowly, working to relearn his body’s limits. The painkillers would be wearing off within the next hour or so, Buck could feel it. The bruising was ugly, but Buck obviously preferred it to the alternative.
“You alright in there?,” Eddie asked, knocking on the doorframe.
“Yeah, just taking it slow so you’re not subjected to my allegedly pale ass.”
“I’m sorry to tell you it’s not alleged,” Eddie replied with a snort. “I’ve got clothes for you laid out on the bed. I changed the sheets and put the new ones in the dryer so it’ll be nice and cozy when you go to sleep.”
“You’re the best Eds.”
“You deserve the best, it’s what I’m here for.”
“Pass me my towel? I’m ready for the conditioner to be rinsed.”
“Here you go.”
Towel secured around his waist, Buck stepped out of the shower, Eddie’s hands hovering in case of emergency. He rinsed the conditioner out gently, and Buck let himself relax.
“Dry off and get changed. I’m going to shower real quick and then I’ll rub that cream in for you alright?”
“Alright.”
Eddie was in and out of the shower as quickly as possible, wanting to keep Buck in a relaxed state so he could go back to sleep. Honestly, Eddie could use a nap too. He didn’t think Buck would protest sharing the bed, and he slept better with Buck in the hospital than he had in months.
When Eddie entered the bedroom, towel wrapped around his waist, Buck was laying in bed, eyes closed.
“Let me change and then you can get to sleep okay?”
“Mhmm,” Buck hummed, keeping his eyes closed.
“The cream is cold,” Eddie warned, and Buck made a noise of assent before Eddie gently worked it into his skin. “T-shirt or hoodie?”
“The loosest piece of clothing you can find,” Buck mumbled.
Eddie dug through the closet before pulling out one of his old worn army t-shirts.
“Gently now,” Eddie warned, helping Buck slip into the shirt. “I think we need to get you some bigger t-shirts.”
“You calling me fat Diaz? I can still take you,” Buck warned, cracking open an eye.
Maybe he shouldn’t have, because Eddie was wearing one of his t-shirts, Buckley spread across his back. Eddie was obliviously closing the blinds.
“You’re not fat Buck, you’re big. Or broad I guess? Whatever adjective you prefer. All of your shirts showcase that which is fine, unless you’re injured and can’t properly move your arms. I’m not sure how many of my shirts you can even fit into anymore.”
“Enough of them,” Buck replied, eyes closing again. “You coming to bed?”
“I’ll be back in a minute, just need to get some water and your pills for when you wake up. I’ll set an alarm so I’m up when Chris gets home.”
Buck resolved to stay awake until Eddie came back. He needed a physical reminder that Eddie was still here, and what better reminder than Eddie himself?
“You’re still awake,” Eddie said quietly.
“Waited for you,” Buck murmured. “I need…,” he trailed off.
Getting into bed, Eddie gently opened his arms for Buck.
“However you’re comfortable. I’m here Buck, I’m not going anywhere.”
“Not yet,” he muttered bitterly before he could stop himself. “Sorry, that was uncalled for.”
Eddie ran a hand through Buck’s curls before kissing the top of his head.
“It’s okay, go to sleep. We’ll talk about it when you’re awake.”
Eddie felt Chris should be present when Buck found out they were staying. Then after that they could address the elephant in the room that kept possessing Eddie to keep at least one point of contact on Buck at all times. Buck was either feeling very bad, or he wanted to keep Eddie just as close as Eddie wanted Buck. No matter, Eddie could deal with all of that after their nap.
When his alarm went off, Eddie stopped it on the first ring. Buck was still sleeping, head on Eddie’s chest, and Eddie took the time to really look at him. Beautiful didn’t even begin to describe just how good Buck looked, even asleep. Eddie started replying to his text messages one handed, keeping an arm around Buck the whole time. When Maddie asked how Buck was doing, Eddie just sent back a photo of the two of them that she heart reacted to.
Chris texted Eddie that he was down the block. Very carefully, Eddie inched out from underneath Buck. He thanked Karen for dropping Chris off and welcomed him inside.
“It’s the same but it’s different. It’s so weird,” Chris remarked, looking around.
“I felt the same way walking in. Buck is asleep, what do you want for lunch?”
“I told Abuela we were back and Buck was hurt, so she’ll be dropping some food off within the hour. Can I go to my room?”
“Of course you can. After lunch, I think we should talk to Buck.”
“Did you tell him yet? Either thing?”
“No, not yet.”
“You’ll tell him both?,” Chris asked, eyebrow raised.
“Yeah, I’m going to tell him both. I’m going to call your school now actually and start the process on the transfer back. Buck is looking forward to hanging out with you today, so not too much time in your room please.”
“I know, I missed him too. I think I’m going to drop my stuff off and shower now. Then when he’s awake we can hang out. Do you think he knows how to play chess?”
“I’m not sure actually. You can ask him when he’s awake.”
Eddie liked that there were still things he could learn about Buck. Settling on the couch, he started the process of having Christopher transfer schools yet again. It’s a good thing the secretary loved Buck and Christopher so much because Eddie was feeling a little bit bad at how complicated the situation had become. It didn’t matter though, not when he had his baby back.
Abuela dropped off enough food to last them a few days, and she gave Eddie a big hug and kiss on the cheek.
“I’m proud of you Eddito, you’re doing good.”
“I think I’m slowly getting there Abuela.”
“Now all you need is your Evancito hmm?,” she said knowingly.
“Yeah, Buck is the last thing I need,” Eddie said fondly, smiling at the ground.
“I’m proud of you. Go get your man. He already has most of the family recipes, and you take care of each other well. Send him my love.”
“Thank you Abuela, that means a lot to me.”
“I have always loved you for who you are, my Edmundo. It’s time for you to be happy now. You deserve it.”
“For the first time in a long time I feel like I can be happy.”
“Good. You’ve had my blessing for a long while. Go heat up lunch for your boys now.”
“I will. I love you Abuela.”
“I love you too.”
With one last tight hug and a kiss on the cheek, Abuela left and Eddie felt relaxed. He could do this. He kind of came out to his Abuela and she still loved him, nothing had changed. She was right though, he needed to feed his boys, and Buck was due for his meds soon.
Not only had Eddie missed Buck’s cooking, he had also missed his Abuela’s cooking. Eddie was convinced the love present in her food alone could bring someone back from the verge of death. He was just ladling the soup into bowls when he heard careful footsteps coming from down the hall.
“I missed Abuela?”
“She sends her love, she didn’t want to disturb you while you were sleeping.”
“I’ll call her to say thank you later.”
“I’m sure she’ll come visit again soon, but she would like that. She loves you, you’re family.”
Buck smiled bashfully at the kitchen table.
“Christopher, lunch time!,” Eddie called. “You took your meds?”
“Sir yes sir.”
“Full glass of water too?”
“Yep.”
“Look at you being a model patient,” Eddie teased, moving back to the kitchen to get some bread.
Lunch was also quiet, the weight of unsaid words hanging in the air. Eddie wasn’t quite sure how to breach the topic, but that’s what he had Christopher for.
“So Buck, how do you feel about roommates?,” Chris asked curiously as they brought all of their dishes to the sink.
“It, uh, depends on the roommates?,” Buck replied, leaning back on the counter and looking between Chris and Eddie with furrowed brows.
“Dad and I, obviously.”
“Obviously you’re staying with me until you go back to Texas.”
Oh bless Buck’s sweet heart.
“We’re not though.”
“Staying with me?”
“Oh my God,” Chris huffed.
“Buck,” Eddie said gently, grabbing his hand, making Buck look at him with wide, scared eyes. “We’re coming home.”
“Home. Home to here? Home to…”
“Home to you,” Eddie agreed, understanding the next word Buck was going to say was ‘me.’
“Oh,” Buck said softly, blinking back tears.
With a soft laugh, he pulled Eddie and Chris into a tight hug.
“Your ribs, Buck!”
“I don’t care, my boys are coming home.”
Buck clung, and Chris clung back just as tight. Eddie has his arms around both of them, blinking back tears of his own. This was his family.
“Okay, I care a little bit because this is really pulling at my ribs,” Buck relented, pulling back gently, but keeping a hand on each of them. “What changed your mind?”
“I never wanted to stay, it was always temporary. I missed you Buck. I think I took for granted that you were always around, and I don’t like it when you’re not here with us.”
“Yeah, I don’t like it either,” Buck admitted.
“I never wanted to leave you, and I’m sorry I did.”
“Hey, none of that Chris. Do you know how many times I ran away from home as a kid? Dozens. My parents never came to get me, not once. My friends’ parents would just drop me off when they were tired of me. At 19 I left for the last time, and they never came looking. I’m not mad at you or your dad for leaving, I promise. Everyone always leaves, but this is the first time someone has ever come back,” Buck finished softly, hugging Christopher and kissing the top of his head.
“We’re not leaving again. You’re stuck with us, forever.”
“Yeah, forever sounds pretty good,” Eddie agreed, meeting Buck’s eyes.
Eddie, who was looking at Buck with the same lovesick look that Buck knew was present on his face when he looked at Eddie. Buck had never seen Eddie’s face this emotionally open before, and it made his breath hitch.
“Forever,” Chris warned, wiping his eyes before walking down the hall to his room.
“Eddie,” Buck said softly, looking at Eddie with a gentleness Eddie didn’t know if he deserved.
Holding a hand out, Eddie met Buck halfway before grabbing both of his hands.
“Buck-”
“Oh my God.”
“Buck, I haven’t even said anything yet,” Eddie replied, laughing softly.
“Sorry, I’m sorry. Continue.”
“I’ve had a lot of time alone to think these past few months, but especially this last month where I was alone in Texas. Without you, I wouldn’t have been able to bring our son home. Chris and I talked a lot about what was missing, and everything always comes back to you, Buck.
I’ve never let myself want before, I told myself that I didn’t deserve it. That I didn’t deserve to have good things, and Buck, you’re the absolute best thing that I could think of. I didn't know what my life would be like when I came to LA, but I prayed harder than I’ve ever prayed before that I was doing the right thing. I was desperate and looking for a sign that I wasn’t fucking everything up, and then I got you. If you’re sunshine then I’m the rain, but you love me anyway.
I have never been loved unconditionally before, until I met you. You have seen me at my absolute lowest, the worst of the worst, and you stayed. I know that I can deal with anything that life throws at me when I have you by my side. No matter what, you’re always by my side as my best friend. Selfishly Buck, I want you there as more than my best friend.
Best friend has never felt like the right word to describe what you are to me. Partner is the closest thing that I’ve come to, but that’s not enough. Not when it’s being said platonically. If I’m being honest, it hasn’t been platonic between us for a long time. I’m a nester, and I’ve spent years building this nest with you Buck, if you’ll have me.”
Eddie released Buck’s hands to cup his face and wipe away the tears that were falling.
“Eddie, you are so easy for me to love. Loving you has never felt like a burden, not once. I know you feel the same way about me. I’m loud and I’m just so much, but you have never made me feel that way. You embraced me for everything that I am. In a life where everyone leaves, you came back to me. God Eddie, you came back. You brought Chris back, and this house finally feels like a home again.
None of my past relationships ever worked out because I’ve been looking for you in everyone else, but there is no one like you Eddie. I don’t want someone like you, I want you. I never thought I could have you, not in the way that I wanted you, but here you are. Whatever you could give me, that was enough, but if I can have more, I’m taking it all.”
Eddie brought their foreheads together, making sure Buck was looking at him when he delivered his next set of words.
“I love you Buck. I love you Evan. I’m sorry that it took me so long and I had to leave before I could figure out what these feelings for you meant. I’m sorry that I was scared but I’m not scared anymore. I’m not ashamed of loving you, I’m proud to love you. It feels like I was made to love you and Chris.”
“Oh Eddie,” Buck said softly, huffing out a quiet laugh. “I’ve been in love with you longer than I haven’t. You and Chris, you’re my family, you’re who I want to come home to at the end of the day.”
“You will,” Eddie promised, pressing kisses to Buck’s face. “Can Chris and I move in with you?”
“Of course you can. Welcome home Eddie.”
“Almost.”
“Almost?,” Buck asked, pulling away and wiping his face dry.
Closing the distance again, Eddie ran one hand up the back of Buck’s neck, tangling his hand in the curls at the nape of his neck before hauling him in for a kiss.
“Now I’m home,” Eddie replied breathlessly, looking up at Buck with wide eyes.
“Yeah, I am too. I’m right where I wanna be.”
“You feel like home,” Eddie admitted, kissing Buck again.
“Best kiss of my life,” Buck replied with a sappy grin. “Suddenly I’m very interested in going back to bed.”
Eddie giggled, hiding it behind his hand, but Buck pulled his hand away to intertwine their fingers.
“I’m injured you know, I deserve lots of kisses.”
“You deserve lots of kisses even when you’re not injured. Come on cariño.”
Buck was not expecting the pet name, and his knees buckled a little bit.
“Yeah, I thought you might like that,” Eddie replied with a smug smile, pulling Buck to their bedroom.
“You’re going to be so sick of me sweetheart, mark my words. Just you wait until I’m cleared for ‘strenuous activity.’ I’m going to rock your world.”
“Yeah? You gonna introduce me to Buck 1.0 and show me what I’ve been missing all these years?”
“I’m going to start right now,” Buck promised, caging Eddie against their closed bedroom door and roughly kissing him.
Yeah, Eddie was right where he wanted to be too. He didn’t need air when he had Buck.
“God, I can’t wait until I can lift you. Once I fully get my hands on you they’re not coming off,” Buck promised, moving to kiss Eddie's jaw.
“If you’re going to mark me up, please do it where our kid can’t make fun of me,” Eddie said with a gasp, tilting his head back.
“I think you should have some purple on you too, it’s only fair.”
Buck slid Eddie’s shirt, his shirt, off his shoulder, and started marking his collarbone.
“Is the shirt doing it for you?,” Eddie panted, his hand threading through Buck’s curls.
“You’re mine, and I want people to know that.”
“I’m insane about you Buck, I’ll tattoo your name on me.”
“Fuck, Eddie, you can’t just say shit like that,” Buck said in awe, pulling away looking debauched.
“I mean it. Maybe I’ll get your name in your handwriting tattooed on my ring finger. Would you like that? Then everyone who checks for a ring would see that I’m yours, mi vida.”
“That’s so fucking hot.”
“I can feel how much you like that, but I think we’re getting very close to strenuous activity.”
“I really don’t want to have to take another shower, I barely survived the first one.”
“I’ll shower with you next time,” Eddie promised, kissing Buck sweetly. “I wanted to talk to you first, let you know my intentions.”
“I’m proud of you. I didn’t say that earlier, but I am. None of this is easy, especially with your background growing up.”
“Abuela gave us her blessing, that’s all I care about.”
“She did?,” Buck asked softly.
“She told me to go get my man. I think you’re about to learn the rest of the family recipes, Evancito,” Eddie teased.
“I love that woman so much. I need to call her.”
“You call her, I’m going to see if Chris wants to watch something with us.”
“Okay. Hey Eddie?”
“Yeah Buck?”
“I love you,” Buck said softly, smiling down at Eddie.
“I love you. We’re going to be okay.”
“Everything is alright,” Buck agreed, pecking Eddie’s lips and smacking his ass before he walked out the bedroom door.
“Evan Buckley!”
“I think Evan Diaz has a nice ring to it, but we can argue semantics later,” Buck teased, his grin lighting up the room. “Go tell Chris I’ll make him some hot chocolate when I’m off the phone.”
“I will.”
Later, when Chris was squished between them on the couch, the three of them sharing a blanket, Buck marveled at how it didn’t feel much different than usual. The love was always there, it was just more prominent now. Buck always felt it, but now he could see it; it was being cultivated, and it was lighting him up from the inside out.
“You haven’t stopped smiling in an hour, Buck.”
“One might say I’m… beaming.”
“Oh my God, Buck,” Chris groaned, hiding his face in Eddie’s shoulder.
“You missed me and my bad jokes.”
“I missed your hot chocolate and your pancakes,” Chris deadpanned. “You cannot joke about getting hurt.”
“Why have trauma if I can’t joke about it?,” Buck huffed. “You literally bought me that t-shirt that says ‘my trauma makes me funny’!”
“I got you that years ago when there was less trauma.”
“I’ll be more careful, I promise. I have your dad back to have my back.”
“Any day,” Eddie promised with a smile, craning over Chris’ head to give Buck a quick kiss. “There is so much paperwork to be done.”
“I can-”
“We are not giving you a clipboard,” Eddie interrupted, not impressed.
“You’re bullying your boyfriend already?,” Buck asked with a dramatic gasp. “We didn’t even make it 24 hours yet. Maybe I’m going to run away to Texas now.”
“I’d like to see how far you can run with your bruised ribs. Go on then,” Eddie replied. “Why would you run to my hometown anyway and not yours?”
“Aside from Hersheypark, the only good thing Pennsylvania has is Wawa and Sheetz. I took advantage of their convenience, and I miss them every day,” Buck said wistfully. “Also, the proximity to New York was nice. Some friends and I would ditch school, hop in the car, and just drive to the city for a day trip. I don’t see a need to go to Pennsylvania again though, so maybe I want to see what the hype about Texas is? Maybe I want a cowboy hat. You came all this way and didn’t even bring me back a souvenir!”
“Chris was born and raised there, he’s your souvenir.”
“My warranty has expired, you’re stuck with me,” Chris said dryly, leaning against Buck.
“Christopher, I’ve been stuck with you ever since your dad told me he had you and said he hated every child who wasn’t you.”
“I did not say that!,” Eddie sputtered.
“I said that I love kids, and you said, ‘I love this one’. How else was I supposed to interpret that?”
“I think you interpreted it correctly,” Chris mused. “I am the best after all.”
“And don’t you forget it mijo,” Eddie replied fondly, ruffling his hair.
“Buck, when your ribs are healed, can we go back to the zoo?”
“I’d love that! I have a whole list of things I’ve been wanting to do with the both of you when you came back! After the zoo I was thinking we could…”
Things were never easy for Eddie, but this? Having Buck as his partner, his co-parent officially, would be the easiest thing Eddie had ever done, and he wouldn’t take it for granted. As he closed his eyes to the sound of his boys playfully bickering forth about plans, Buck’s words from earlier stuck with him.
“Everything is alright”, and he’d be damned if things didn’t stay that way.