Chapter Text
Martin looked at himself in the vanity mirror, it was raining outside and while it was only 3 pm it was already getting dark in his bedroom. He hadn't bothered to turn on his bedside lamp yet opting instead to gaze at himself in the half dark, watching his face till it didn't resemble anything like a face at all.
He watched as his reflection sighed deeply and scrubbed his hands over his gaunt visage looking for all the world like the most miserable boy on the face of the earth.
It had been 10 years now. 10 years since he had been chosen from the childrens home and been taken to live on the Lukas family Estate. At first it had seemed like a dream come true, isn't it every parent-less child's dream to be whisked away and taken in by a nice wealthy family. And yes, while the Lukas family was indeed wealthy, nice they where not. Nor where they much of a family either.
Given the vast number of Lukas' he had found in the sprawling family trees that littered the library there was only one member of the family he had actually met and that was The Captain - Peter Lukas. He, Martin thinks, had been the one who actually went through the process of adopting him, though for what reason Martin couldn't say. It clearly wasnt because he wanted a child as he only ever saw The Captain once or twice a month at best, and even when they did meet he was always distant and quiet.
He remembered his first night at the house. He had been called into the Captains study and instructed to sit on a straight backed wooden chair facing his new guardian.
"Hello Martin" he had said not sternly but not entirely kind either. Martin had mumbled some sort of responce while intently watching the redish wood of the captains desk, not daring to look into Lukas' eyes.
"I hope you settled in all right?" Lucas pressed in the same strange tone of voice. Martin had only nodded, still not daring to utter a single word. His shyness had was something he had been victim to for as long as he could remember. It usually only ever gleaned irritation from adults, but Peter Lukas was different. It seemed to please him. He had smiled faintly as he watched martin, nodding solemnly, as if in he understood Martins wordless answer.
When Martin had eventually dared to sneak a glance up into the captains face he had seen something there that he had never once seen in the face of an adult while regarding him, that being genuine fondness. It had been faint (as everything always was with the Captain) but it had been there, and that is what had stuck with him.
"You may call me Peter." The Captain suggested, and extended a hand towards Martin to shake. He had been hesitant at first but had eventually he reached over to Peter and allowed his tiny seven year old hand to be taken and shook in the Captains old and wether beaten one.
Since then, meetings with the Captain had been ffew and far apart, and Martin had generally been cared for by a rotating cast of nanny's. He had herd his third nanny mention once that this was how all children in the Lukas family where raised.
This had gone on to spark the fantasy that there might be other Lukas children his age. That he might have cousins or maybe even wayward older siblings who had fled the nest. But by now he new that this wasn't the case and that he was an only child.
Martin surfaced from his reminiscent daydream, as a knocking came from his bedroom door. His insides ached at the dread of answering it knowing that his little bubble of solitude would be popped, but it would be rude not to answer. And Martin was anything but rude, so he got to his feet wearily and opened the door.
On the other side was his current tutor, Miss Du Rose a rail thin bug eyed lady, who didn't seem to blink very mutch. Martin didn't really mind her, she would talk about the other great families who's children she had tutored, something Martin found greatly entertaining as his Knowledge of other families, let alone their children was limited to say the least.
"Good evening master Lukas, you are looking very smart this evening. I'm assuming you're ready to go, as you'll have to set off quite soon in order to reach the party on time." Martin could only nod in responce, offering her a tight smile,
"Yes I'm ready, just give me a minute to put on my shoes," The party. God he felt sick just thinking about it, all those people and their endless incessant chatter, and the light, and sound and- "Am I to assume that you are a little bit nervous?" Miss Du Rose asked him kindly watching Martin with her wide unblinking eyes.
He didn't want to say that he was nervous, because he wasnt, he was utterly petrified, and he wanted Miss Du Rose to go away and leave him to savour his last moments of solitude in the peace of his room. Still, he found himself nodding weakly anyway, and she sighed in solemn understanding.
"I personally think that it's frightfully cruel of Captain Lukas making you go out to these things in his place, the way you've been raised its just not right. He of all people should know that." Martin nodded, not really sure what she meant, but he was grateful for the sympathy.
"Well, somebody's got to" was all he could think of to say, and she made a small noise of agreement,
"Yes I suppose so." A sad silence filled the space between Martin and his tutor, and he honestly thought that he might start crying.
"I'll leave you too it then, to put on you're shoes. The car will be ready for you when you come down." Miss Du Rose said quietly, patting Martin on the shoulder.
"And remember you won't have to be there all night, 3 hours minimum and then you can leave," Martin nodded not looking at her.
"I know, and thankyou." She gave his shoulder a squeeze and turned to leave, heels clicking loudly on the hard wooden floor. He turned and shut the door, heading to the wardrobe where he kept his shoes, but stopping as he caught sight of himself in the mirror.
What stared back at him. Was a pale shell. Bearly human. Was he still human? He didn't feel it. He had become so far removed from what he had felt like before he had come here all those years ago. When he had been a proper person.
It wouldn't even shock him if hed been cut and the balde might come away clean. Did he still blead? could he find out? He imagined himself tracing thin lines over his pale body whith a knife only for it to come away clean and cold.
He shook himself mentally and hurried over to the wardrobe, distracting himself with lacing up his dress shoes, as tight as he could bare.
No time to think about sutch things right now, he had a party to go to.