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Ilya was bored.

He's paced the entire length of his house at least five times in the last 30 minutes, opening his laptop to the outgoing flights to Montréal after completing each lap, only to slam it closed again.

He wanted to see his boyfriend.

Ilya missed Shane.

The worst part was that he could do it, the flight wasn't even two hours long, his Coach had given them the weekend off before a long roadie, and while Shane had a home game tonight against Chicago he didn't have another game until Wednesday.

In another world, Ilya wouldn't be standing in his kitchen debating if how anxious Shane would be was worth getting to see him for two whole days, he'd already be on the flight.

Ilya lets himself imagine it, getting on a plane and not worrying about people recognizing him or questioning why he's in Montréal, sitting in the stands of The Place Bell in Shane's jersey and waiting for him to look up and spot Ilya sitting there.

But none of that is possible, because, according to Shane, either of them being seen like that will cause suspicion, will make people question the why, and if too many unexplainable visits to the other's city or weird sightings at games or restaurants pile up, people will start to put the pieces together.

Ilya hates that Shane is right, hates that they can't risk it, hates that they have to keep hiding like this, hates that he can't see his boyfriend more than a couple times during the season.

He knows things will be better once he signs for Ottawa next year, a two hour drive in the same country has a lot less prying eyes than an airport, but Ilya doesn't care right now. He wants to see Shane now, not it two weeks when he plays Montréal.

Now.

It's on his eighth lap around his house that he gets the idea.

People on the internet have always been very single minded, especially when they're watching everyone else spout the same opinion on the bullshit of the hour. Ilya's seen it again and again, the power of the internet to change the public opinion on something in a matter of hours.

He's also not unfamiliar with a certain corner of the internet that has been convinced that he and Shane are secretly in love with each other, having fallen into a self loathing spiral of edits and fics and fan art after what Ilya's begun calling the Rose Incident. He remembers that anyone who was "in the fandom" would never take anything the shippers said seriously, that the shippers themselves (usually) didn't take themselves seriously.

It was the perfect plan, in Ilya's opinion.

Lily @shanehollandersglasses

Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov are secretly lovers. It is true, if you look closely at Hollander and Rozanov's tape when they are rookies is very different from each other, Hollander uses traditional Heel-to-toe method while Rozanov uses the Sock method. (1/3)

Ilya waited forty five agonizing minutes before he logged onto his main account and found his post. He wondered briefly if he should contact his PR manager before he hit repost, but waved that thought away quickly. He spent more time wondering if he should talk to Shane before doing this, but decided that it was better to leave him in the dark for now.

Shane will probably freak out when he finds out what Ilya's done, but Ilya's positive his boyfriend won't actually be upset, especially when he has time to think about how this could benefit them.

Ilya Rozanov @worldsbesthockeyplayer

Yes, is true.

Comments (180.4K):

Boston's #1 Fan @marrymerozanov

WHO LET ROZANOV OUT!!

Cliff Marleau @theguywhoplayswithroz

Roz you fucking dog!

Svetlana Vetrova @russiasgreaesthockeymachine

Answer my calls.

Alex @she3onmymantillIrush

So this is a joke? Right?!

Zoe @rozanovgimmeonechance

Rozanov please never change.

Hollanov On Top @hollanovisreal

And what is a told you he's not—GUNSHOTS

Lucy @hollandersrighteyebrow

So another hockey player that thinks being gay is funny? Oh and he's bullying one of the only Asian hockey players? Oh and this is funny? Got it got it

Micheal @entityofthespiral

Wait I don't go here, are the hockey players gay for each other?

Bella @hollanderandrozanovsittinginatree

RED ALERT! RED ALERT! HOLLANOV HAS BREACHED CONTAINMENT! I REPEAT HOLLANOV HAS BREACHED CONTAINMENT.

Micheal @entityofthespiral

After too much time inside THE document I fear a change must be made

The notifications start pouring in immediately. Ilya takes the time to reply to the ones that are important, namely assuring his coach and teammates that this is just a new way to fuck with Hollander before their next game and to assure Svetlana that if this was anything that he knew exactly what he was doing.

Which Ilya believes he does.

Mostly.

The last thing Ilya does before he turns off his phone is text Yuna and Shane. Yuna, so she knows what Ilya was thinking doing this and can work with Farah appropriately, and Shane to assure him this isn't as bad as he thinks it is and to call him right after his game and not go on any social media platforms.

With that, Ilya silences the never ending onslaught that is his twitter notifications and turns on his TV, opening it to the Montréal vs Chicago game just beginning.

The game is honestly embarrassing, despite Chicago's recent cup win Ilya can tell the team is going down hill, and just before the end of the 2nd period Shane clinches a hat-trick.

For a moment Ilya tries to mute his celebrations of Shane's goal, before remembering he's alone in his apartment and no one can question why he looks a little too happy to watch his rival score.

The third period is boring, Chicago is able to manage one, sloppy, point after some frankly messy offense manages to accidentally push the puck past Montréal's goalie.

Ilya doesn't usually watch the post-game interviews, or at least not anymore, Shane's media trained answers could never compare to the true person underneath. But, they've both been busy recently and haven't had time for a call that last more than thirty minutes, so Ilya is craving to hear the sound of his boyfriend's voice.

He's not really listening to what the reporters are actually saying, or what exactly Shane's responses are either.

Not until he hears is own name does Ilya start really listening.

"Hollander! What do you have to say about Ilya Rozanov's recent repost of a tweet claiming the two of you a secretly lovers due to the similar tape styles the two of you have adopted over the years?"

Ilya watches as Shane's mask slips, and the momentary panic is visible on his face.

"What?"

Someone hands Shane a phone, where Shane watches as his eyes move across the screen as the furrow between his brows deepens. Ilya begins to regret his decision as the panic on Shane's face becomes more prominent to Ilya. However, when Ilya sees Shane begin to scroll through the phone, no doubt reading the comments, the pressure in his chest lightens as Shane's face begins to relax.

"I, uh, no comment."

The interview wraps up shortly after that, and Ilya decided now’s a good time to turn his phone back on.

He's expecting a call.

Not even ten minutes after Ilya watches Shane leave the camera frame Ilya feels his phone vibrating. Picking it up he sees the familiar Jane fill the screen.

Ilya decides to send a pick prayer up to his Mama before picking up.

For good luck.

"Hello moya lyubov, I saw your—"

"What the fuck were you thinking Rozanov!"

"Now Shane listen to me—"

"No, why the fuck would you do something like that! And without telling me! Someone is going to realize that's not a joke and then our coaches will find out and the league and everyone."

"Yes, but—"

"People are already making memes about it Ilya."

"You know what a meme is?"

"Of course I do. That's not the point. The point is everyone knows now and—"

"Shane, breath, you are going to give yourself panic attack," Ilya listens as Shane begins protesting before following Ilya's exaggerated breathes in and out, "Now can I explain myself."

"Sure, asshole."

"I did not tell you because I knew you would never approve—No let me continue—But it is good idea. We can never see each other during the season because you are too worried that people will put pieces together if there are too many unexplained sightings at Boston and Montréal airports. I know things will be easier next year but it is very lonely without you so I was thinking, what if we put pieces together for them? Internet already thinks Hollanov shippers are joke—"

"Hollanov?!"

"Yes Shane, people who think you and I are in love. They are very smart yes?"

"People know we're in love?! Oh my god this—"

"Shane deep breaths," Ilya listens as Shane makes a few more deep breaths in and out, "People do not know we are in love, they think it is fun to imagine that we are. Enemies to lovers is very popular and we are very sexy so I understand."

"I—okay."

"So internet already thinks Hollanov shippers are a joke, Hollanov shippers even think they are a joke, so I think what if we joined the joke? You know, make it so whenever anyone spots anything suspicious or even asks us about stuff we can so, oh yes because we are lovers, right? And everyone laughs and forgets why they were suspicious in first place. And if anyone is actually suspicious or close to the truth nobody will take it seriously because if we were actually in love we'd never acknowledge any of this and I would have never reposted original tweet."

Shane is silent for a minute and Ilya briefly worries if he's actually messed up.

"That—that's actually really smart Ilya."

"Yes, thank you."

"So it was you that wrote the original tweet, right?"

Ilya laughs, "Of course Hollander, I needed something that was ridiculous and true, but not anything with technically damning evidence. So I make own tweet from burner account."

"But won't people realize the original account doesn't have any other activity? Won't that be suspicious?"

Ilya blushes, "No it—it is real account. I made it years ago to talk about you."

"Ilya, do you have a fan account for me?"

Ilya feels himself melt into is chair, "No it was also Hollanov fan account."

He hears Shane stifle a laugh on the other end, "I'm sorry I didn't catch that, can you say it again, a little louder."

"I said, is also a Hollanov account."

Ilya can't help but smile at Shane's answering laughter.

I was the perfect plan.

Boston's #1 Fan @marrymerozanov

So is this a safe space to talk about how I'm not sure Roz's tweet was a joke?

TMZ @TMZ

Star Hockey Player Ilya Rozanov seen in Montréal a day before team is set to arrive for game this Friday. Rumors state he is there to see rival Shane Hollander. Read more here

Bella @hollanderandrozanovsittinginatree

I USED TO DREAM FOR TIMES LIKE THIS

Zoe @rozanovgimmeonechance

So we agree their fucking with us.

Lucy @hollandersrighteyebrow

I expected this type of thing from Rozanov but for Hollander to go along with it is just disappointing.

Shayden Forever @shaneandhaydenslovechild

Why Hollander and Rozanov's stunt is all an elaborate cover up for Shayden (1/53)

Sports Illustrated @SportsIllustrated

Shane Hollander on the nature of his relationship with Ilya Rozanov:

"I've know Rozanov for a while and we've always had a fierce competition on the ice. I don't want to lose to him and I'm positive he doesn't want to lose to me, that's Hockey. As for my off ice relationship with me, I think Lily made that pretty clear, the tape matches.

NYT Sports @NYTSports

Ilya Rozanov comments on recent tweet and relationship with rival player Shane Hollander

"I repost tweet because is true, Hollander and I are so in love we slowly change taping method to match. There is no other explanation."

Bella @hollanderandrozanovsittinginatree

Okay, okay, I know this is going to sound like one big joke especially since I've been joking in people's replies but I think we're ignoring the fact that Hollanov could still be real. Especially with the rumors out of Boston that Ilya has never picked up in Montréal or when Montréal was playing Boston and now he's not see with girls at all? And with this whole stunt?

Hollanov On Top @hollanovisreal

I have never felt so silenced

TMZ @TMZ

Breaking: Movie star Rose Landry spotted in Boston with mysterious woman. Sources claim she is Svetlana Vetrova, longtime on and off girlfriend of Ilya Rozanov.

Hollander for President @justlookatthosefreckles

ALERT! ALERT! Hollander has a personality! ALERT! ALERT!

Hollanov On Top @hollanovisreal

I'm not even shipping when I say this but Hollander participating in this joke (although I have my suspicious…) is the most personality we've gotten from the guy in forever, he and Rozanov have to be at least friendly, right?!

Joseph @joe1976

I don't get involved with all this nonsense online but I was at the Bears vs Voyagers Game 6 and I saw Hollander and Rozanov in the parking lot after the Bears lost and they got into the same car?

Ilya has never made a better decision in his life.

Okay that's a lie, shaking Shane's hand the fateful day in Canada was his best decision.

But this was a close second.

The plan was working. Ilya and Shane were able to got visit each other during small breaks, go early or stay later in Montréal and Boston when their schedules allowed, and even be seen hanging out at All Stars.

No one questioned it.

When a gossip magazine or popular tweet called out the odd behavior Shane and Ilya simply replied with "Right, cause our tape matches" and the speculation was gone. Sometimes they didn't even have time to respond before floods of people were commenting the same thing, tearing apart any sort of speculation that could've led to something more substantial.

It was the best.

"Are you ready?"

Ilya looks down at Shane, whose currently using his chest as a pillow, "Is best that I announce the move, before news outlets get word of it."

"Do you think people will speculate? About why you've signed with Ottawa?"

Ilya hums, "Yes I think so, will become another piece of evidence in gigantic Hollanov document, people will discuss."

"And you're positive this statement won't add fuel to those fires."

"Yes, but if you are worried it will confirm suspicious I change it right now. Do boring original statement Yuna gave me."

Ilya could see Shane think through the pros and cons, watched as the anxiety increased and then decreased, "No, you should go with this statement. We've both already addressed the joke online and in interviews, it would be odd if you didn't mention it now."

Ilya nodded and turns towards his phone, were the statement was already up and ready to post.

Ilya Rozanov @worldsbesthockeyplayer

While I have enjoyed and honored my time in Boston, without them I would not be the player I am today, today I am announcing that I will not be extending my contract with Boston. Instead, I will be continuing my career with the Ottawa Centaurs.

I understand that this decision will come as a shock and will upset many people. I still cherish every single one of my fans in Boston and hope you do not see this move as a betrayal.

Many people will have questions about why I have signed with Ottawa, and to that I say the answer is obvious, I moved because Shane Hollander and I are secret gay lovers. Is only explanation that makes sense, our tape matches.

Comments (201.8K):

Shane Hollander @ShaneHollanderHockeyPlayer

Can't wait to be secret lovers with you full time

Liz @ottawamyloves

WE MIGHT ACTUALLY HAVE A CHANCE! PRAISE THE LORD

Micheal @thetapedoesmatchtho

Okay but what if I said he—

Zoe @rozanovgimmeonechance

His future PR manager is STRESSED

Voyager's All The Way @twocupsismorethanone

Oh the cup is ours now

Boston's #1 Fan @marrymerozanov

Oh. I—Am I an Ottawa fan now?

Matt @righthandrule

I've been a Hollanov hater since the beginning but I have to confess that Rozanov moving to Ottawa for Hollander is the only reasonable explanation

Boston's #1 Fan @marrymerozanov

We all joke but with Roz's latest statement I think we need to revisit the original tweet, because like, it kinda sounds like Roz!?!?! First Lily sounds a lot like Ilya right, and then her tweet has a lot of the same grammar mistakes and cadences that Rozanov uses?

Ilya and Shane laid together in bed, scrolling through the comments on Ilya's phone.

It was insane.

"I can't believe everyone is just running with this."

"I can, was genius idea, you were worried for nothing."

"There's still people that think this entire thing isn't a joke."

"It is not a joke."

"Yes, but they don't know that."

"But if we act like it is one big joke, nobody will listen when these people point out how gay we are, was excellet idea"

Shane sighs, "It was…not the worse thing you've suggested."

"See! see! And you like going along with it, yes. Is fun to fuck with reporters."

Ilya watches as Shane tries to resist laughter, eventually failing. Ilya basks in the sound of Shane's true laugh, arguably one of his favorite sounds.

"It is fun, to hide in plain site like this. And getting to see you more often," Shane looks up and Ilya, pressing a small kiss to his lips.

"Я тебя люблю, Shanya."

"Я тебя люблю, Ilyusha."

TMZ @TMZ

Breaking: Leaked fanmail video of Montréal Voyager's player Hayden Pike shows rivals Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander sharing an intimate moment in the background. Click here for full story and video

Shane Hollander @ShaneHollanderHockeyPlayer

It has come to my attention that a video showing a private moment between me and Ilya Rozanov. While I have always been a private person and advocated for personal lives of players to stay private and off the ice, something which has been violated here, I will announce that Ilya and I are in a committed relationship and have been for several years.

On the other hand, our tape does match. We tried to tell you.

Ilya Rozanov @worldsbesthockeyplayer

I told you, was true.