Chapter Text
masters of idiocy (minus Pixal, Zane and Nya)
Members:
FIYAAAH: Kai
nyah: Nya
Husband2Cake: Cole
LightningMcqueen: Jay
LOLyd: Lloyd
IceCreamMachine: Zane
Pixalated: P. I. X. A. L.
2:03am
LightningMcqueen: i want a pet
FIYAAAH: its two am
LightningMcqueen: i still want a pet
FIYAAAH: JAY YOU F***ING WOKE ME UP THE SECOND I FELL ASLEEP
FIYAAAH: THE LEAST YOU COULD DO IS NOT DISTURB ME
LightningMcqueen: no u called me expendable
FIYAAAH: and I SAID I WAS SORRY
LightningMcqueen: eh nyaways
LightningMcqueen: i want an animal
FIYAAAH: GO TO BED
LightningMcqueen: i want a CAT
LightningMcqueen: or a dog
LightningMcqueen: or fish
LightningMcqueen: literally anything
FIYAAAH: GET A PET ROCK THEM
LightningMcqueen: rocks dont love me
FIYAAAH: NEITHER DO I
LightningMcqueen: ouch.
7:35am
IceCreamMachine: Jay, I have acquired a pet for you. Consider it an early birthday present.
nyah: ASGHDKSGF ZANE THAT FAST??
LightningMcqueen: CAT OR DOG
LightningMcqueen: PLEASE
LightningMcqueen: PLEASE BE A CAT
LightningMcqueen: I WILL TAKE ANYTHING
LightningMcqueen: ANYTHING AT ALL
nyah: what about a chicken
LightningMcqueen: I SAID ANYTHING ILL TAKE IT
Husband2Cake: what abt a sugar chicken
nyah: wtf cole
Husband2Cake: nothing nothing
Pixalated: Will we actually be able to care for a domestic animal?
LightningMcqueen: YES
LightningMcqueen: I PURROMISE
LightningMcqueen: see what i did there
nyah: we saw jay we saw
LightningMcqueen: IM SO EXCITED
IceCreamMachine: It is, I must say, quite adorable.
LightningMcqueen: EEEEEEEEH WHAT IS IT
IceCreamMachine: A rat.
LightningMcqueen: ZANE FFS
LightningMcqueen: I SAID CAT OR DOG
IceCreamMachine: You said you would accept any animal.
LightningMcqueen: I WAS NOT EXPECTING A RAT
LOLyd: the rat overlord nightfang is back
LOLyd: back for revenge against jay 😈
IceCreamMachine: This is not Nightfang.
IceCreamMachine: This rat is female and has a different coloured coat.
nyah: wait
nyah: WE HAVE A SEQUEL???
LOLyd: nightfangs daughter wants to take revenge
Pixalated: What should we name her, my dear?
LightningMcqueen: NAMING INCREASES POWER
LightningMcqueen: WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS
FIYAAAH: hes right
FIYAAAH: do NOT give that creature a name
Husband2Cake: too late
IceCreamMachine: I believe “Pearl” would suit her nicely.
LightningMcqueen: NO
LightningMcqueen: NO IT WOULD NOT
nyah: pearl would be perfect
LightningMcqueen: NYA DON'T ENCOURAGE HIM
FIYAAAH: wait
FIYAAAH: since shes a rat
FIYAAAH: we could call her
FIYAAAH: PEARAT
LOLyd: 😭😭😭
Husband2Cake: PEARAT
FIYAAAH: PEARAT
Husband2Cake: PEARAT 🗣️🗣️🗣️
LOLyd: i see lovers in sync
Husband2Cake: stfu
FIYAAAH: BRING FORTH PEARAT
FIYAAAH: TO THE STAKE
LightningMcqueen: BURN BABY BURNNNN
nyah: …well that was cringe
FIYAAAH: SILENCE
FIYAAAH: PEARAT HAS BEEN SENTENCED TO A SLOW AND AGONIZING DEATH
LightningMcqueen: IT WILL BE PAINFUL
FIYAAAH: no sh** sherlock
nyah: pls dont kill the rat
FIYAAAH: WE’RE KILLING PEARAT
Husband2Cake: we arent burning the rat
FIYAAAH: …
FIYAAAH: we aren't burning the rat
nyah: a man truly does act different when in love
FIYAAAH: WE'RE TORTURING THE RAT
Husband2Cake: KAI
LightningMcqueen: I SECOND KAI
IceCreamMachine: It is not advisable to torture Pearl.
FIYAAAH: *PEARAT
IceCreamMachine: Pearl.
FIYAAAH: PEARAT
IceCreamMachine: Pearl.
FIYAAAH: PEARAT
Pixalated: ..Pearat.
IceCreamMachine: P.I.X.A.L!
LOLyd: pearat is already losing custody battles 😭
nyah: she hasnt even been here for five minutes
Husband2Cake: can we please just keep the rat
LightningMcqueen: NO
FIYAAAH: NO
IceCreamMachine: I have already grown rather fond of her.
Pixalated: As have I. ^_^
FIYAAAH: …
LightningMcqueen: how dare.
Husband2Cake: PEARAT STAYS
LOLyd: THE RAT DYNASTY CONTINUES
FIYAAAH: PEARAT DOESNT STAYS
nyah: omg theyre having an LQ
LOLyd: a what
nyah: a lovers quarrel
FIYAAAH: …
Husband2Cake: …
LOLyd: when ur not at L YET but alr arrived at the Q:
nyah: lmfao the yet
LightningMcqueen: WE ARENT KEEPING THE RAT
IceCreamMachine: Jay. Behave.
Husband2Cake: uh oh hes going into mother mode
IceCream Machine: We are keeping Pearat.
FIYAAAH: HE ACCEPTED THE NAME
FIYAAAH: ALL HAIL ZANE
LOLyd: …
Husband2Cake: that rhymed
LOLyd: ALL HAIL ZANE 🗣️🗣️🗣️
LightningMcqueen: what about me
LightningMcqueen: i have ratophobia from that WALL DEMON called NIGHTFANG
LOLyd: pearat aint nightfang
LOLyd: its like saying im afraid of all spin-jitzu masters bcuz one possessed me
LightningMcqueen: YEAH WELL I HAVE RATOPHOBIA
IceCreamMachine: ‘Ratophobia’ is not a word.
LightningMcqueen: is too
IceCreamMachine: Is not.
LightningMcqueen: is too
IceCreamMachine: Is not.
LightningMcqueen: is too
IceCreamMachine: This is not very efficient. I should not argue with you.
LightningMcqueen: I DEFEATED ZA-
IceCreamMachine: The term "ratophobia" is not considered an official or standard word in the English language because it violates the etymological rules of medical and psychological terminology. In formal terminology, phobias are named using Greek roots, but "rat" is a Germanic/Old English word.
LightningMcqueen: adkjgfukghkffgkhjhgfdre
LOLyd: rip jay, u will be missed
FIYAAAH: no he wont
IceCreamMachine: We are keeping Pearat. That is final.
LightningMcqueen: cna we at least vote on the name then?
Pixalated: I will create a poll. Statistically, Pearat shall win.
LightningMcqueen: biased much b****
nyah: JAY WALKER
LightningMcqueen: ...sorry pix
Pixalated: Apology accepted. I know you didn’t mean to call me that word, Jay.
LightningMcqueen: …<3?
Pixalated: <3!
FIYAAAH: man if that was me id swear right back at him
LOLyd: we know kai
LOLyd: we know
Pixalated: Let me make the poll now please.
LightningMcqueen: btw im not voting
LightningMcqueen: we are not naming that THING
LightningMcqueen: @nyah pls dont betray me 🙏
Pixalated has started a poll!
What should we name Nightfang’s Sequel?
Pearl: No votes
Pearat: Voted by IceCreamMachine, LOLyd, Husband2Cake, Pixalated, FIYAAAH and nyah
LightningMcqueen: NYA NO
nyah: im sry love
nyah: but NYA YES
LightningMcqueen: TRAITORS THE LOT OF YOU
LightningMcqueen: TRAITORS
LightningMcqueen: looking specifically at kai and nya
LOLyd: lmao it runs in the family
FIYAAAH: F*** YOU
LightningMcqueen: go do that to cole im taken : )
FIYAAH: FOR F***’S SAKE
Husband2Cake: JAY WTF DID I DO TO YOU
LightningMcqueen: you chose the rat over ur best friend
Husband2Cake: …
Husband2Cake: now that pearat’s staying, what do we do?
IceCreamMachine: Buy supplies to care for her.
nyah: wait @IceCreamMachine i havent actually seen pearat im at ninjamart
Husband2Cake: at 7:45am??
nyah: ..yes?
nyah: @IceCreamMachine pls show me a pic of her
Pixalated: I shall send one for him, he is very excited.
Pixalated: [PHOTO SENT - Pearat & Zane - Pearat, a fairly small rat with navy blue fur, nestled in Zane’s hand, sleeping as he looks at her lovingly, his face radiating with joy.]
nyah: awwwwwww
LightningMcqueen: …thats acc cute
LOLyd: whatever happened to yr ‘ratophobia’
LightningMcqueen: she isnt as big as nightfang yk
LightningMcqueen: the terrifyingness of a rat is directly proportionate to its size 🤓👆
nyah: LMAO jay tryna be nerdy
LightningMcqueen: yk what
LightningMcqueen: I ACCEPT PEARAT
IceCreamMachine: Thank you, Jay. I appreciate it.
LightningMcqueen: SHES ONE OF US
LightningMcqueen: THE RAT NINJA
LOLyd: and we’re back to old jay 🤦
PLATONICALLY DEDICATED TO MY PEARAT, PK_can’tthinkofaname