Archive of Our Own

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT THEY’VE BEEN INTERNATIONALLY RENOWNED KPOP GIRL GROUP HUNTR/X THIS WHOLE FUCKING TIME

yeah last night felt like a fever dream i blacked out for like half of it

let’s be real it was far too late for them to delete it

Yeah I took like 50 screenshots. They wouldn’t have been able to scrub this off the internet even if they tried

I heard someone read one of my own tweets out loud on the bus. I’m logging off forever this is the last you’ll ever see of me

the entire country has been united together to talk about this one topic and i think that’s beautiful

but also some of you should never be allowed to open your mouths again. get away from them

zoey tweeted a fact about the homosexual tendencies of turtles in isolated populations (aka the gay turtles tweet). she ended the tweet with, and i quote, “i, however, do not need a scarcity of anything to be gay so clearly i’m winning this competition”. many of us correctly assumed this was her coming out.

the tweet trends almost immediately. it takes her half an hour to even notice she has done this. HUNTR/X makes it very clear rather quickly that this was not intentional, but none of them outright deny that zoey is not straight.

members of the marine science community here on twitter quickly noticed that the tweet zoey had made sounded like something a well-known turtles fact account would post. then, zoey accidentally confirms that this turtles fact account is actually her alternate account

mira then replies on her own alternate account that she is “fucking zoey”. rumi replies to a different tweet of zoey’s on the turtle account not long after. both are confirmed by zoey to actually be them. all three HUNTR/X alternate accounts are now known to the fandom

within like five minutes of scrolling through these accounts and reading their interactions, it becomes very obvious that HUNTR/X is actually in a polycule and they're all dating each other. we do not know how long they have been together. they also might allegedly be Vegas married

we also find out that Rumi is clinically depressed, they're all autistic (same), and a studio recording of the full version of Takedown exists. however, they once again confirmed that they will not be releasing it to the public

also, both rumi and zoey imply that they have more accounts than the ones we know about. no one has been able to figure out what these accounts are. any one of us could be a member of HUNTR/X at this point

and now here we are, waiting for an official statement and wondering how we got here. the only thing i know for sure is that those bitches are gay, and good for them.

Zoey!!! They didn’t kill you!!!

nice to know you’re still breathing bestie

yeah unfortunately we could tell you didn’t mean to do any of that💀

i’m too scared to go back and read it all. how bad is it

you blamed the cat at some point

It probably would have gone better if she had just put him on a laptop and let him go ham

brb trying this right now

mira! good morning my beautiful and amazing girlfriend who i love! nothing to see here! please ignore this!

Don’t play cute. How did you get your phone back?

oh this is my laptop actually. bobby only told us to stay off our phones so I found a #loophole

That’s not how this works. I’m sending Rumi to confiscate it

wait no let me at least do my totally legit science experiment with the cat first

I behaved enough to get it back

lies and slander she’s using the fucking fridge to tweet this right now

Bobby never said anything about not using the fridge

the fridge is crazy you guys are actually about to get your power shut off for this

wait no rumi we’re having fun :((((((

at least let derpy say his piece before you kill them both. i want to know what the little man thinks about all of this

his moms just accidentally outed themselves on twitter dot com. i bet he’s not very happy about that

you say that like he’s aware of both the concept of being outed and the hellsite that is twitter

no the hellsite is tumblr there’s a difference

go outside

but i better see a tweet from the cat in the next five minutes or i’m storming their tower

no we just got them back :(((((

A moment of silence for our fallen soldiers

wow good job bud

he really has a way with words

now how the fuck did he type a real word in the middle of that 💀

oh my god derpy you can’t say that

no wait please don’t cancel my cat he’s innocent

nope too late already done #derpyisoverparty

:(

Bye Zoey!!!

we’ll miss you!

Good luck girl you’re gonna need it

Bobby I am so sorry for them. I hope you get that raise after all of this is over

i would like to say that they’ll behave next time but i don’t want to lie to you

I thought we knew this already based on the whole, you know, everything from last night

yeah but it’s still nice to see them actually confirm it

based on those tweets i would have been asking what we were months ago there’s no way they weren’t already dating

yeah personally i would not be sitting by idly while reading my two very close friends tweet all of that about me. i’d have jumped their bones by the ab licking tweet

There’s no way they weren’t together by the bad bitches tweet I refuse to even consider the idea it’s too insane

wait op your mind brb opening my fic drafts

ok but hear me out, having homoerotic tension with your close best friends and acknowledging it but never acting on it is just about one of the most sapphic things you can do

you call your friends babe and talk about licking their abs and having sex with them?

you don’t?

no????

Bestie… we do that… does that mean… do you…

…can you do me a favor and meet me in the dms i have something to tell you

i can’t believe this is happening to me again. i can’t escape it. i might actually become homophobic if y’all don’t stop

bestie you’re literally gay

i can be gay and homophobic at the same time. it’s not that hard especially when shit like this keeps happening to me

like i called her a jobless horndog last year while she was in the middle of a fucking world tour with her hot af partners and i had no idea. i literally couldn’t have been more wrong. this is so embarrassing for me

No same because I’m still in shock that we’ve been playfully bullying and giggling with an actual ultra rich mega famous celebrity for MONTHS

not even just one ultra rich mega famous celebrity but THREE OF THEM. WE’VE BEEN WATCHING THREE RICH AND FAMOUS KPOP STARS FLIRT WITH EACH OTHER UNPROMPTED FOR OVER HALF A YEAR AND WE HAD NO IDEA

I might actually never recover from this. My life is forever changed by HUNTR/X and their inability to use private messages when talking to each other.

throwing yourself back into the madness seems a little bit detrimental to your emotional health to me. y’all have fun though i’m gonna protect my peace for a little bit longer

That’s quitters talk oomfie the emotional damage is part of the fun

To be fair, Derpy looks like any other tabby cat with his eyes closed so it really wasn’t that obvious.

does anyone remember what their profile pic was before the cat? just curious if we really were that blind or if they were actually trying to hide their account at some point

i think it was like a lily or something like that

oh so it was a plant? yeah she might as well have put her full legal name in bio

Yeah I’m pretty sure it was a tiger daylily, super common ornamental plant. I guess they must have a thing for rare flowers though cause I’m pretty sure that species’ flowers only last for a day or two

glad she at least got to see one of her flowers bloom after the whole kadupul saga

celine probably gave her the shovel talk or something about dating her kind of but not really daughter

you see i normally would be all about figuring this out but i’m too busy losing my mind over the implications from the rest of the tweet. you’re insane for that zoey you really are

celine might be bitter that her own sapphic situationship band crashed and burned and all she got out of it was a daughter and repressed emotional trauma

not celine sunlight sisters being doomed yuri 💀

like just celine or the sunlight sisters as a whole?

yeah :(

Man our Zoey y/n lore just got a whole lot crazier

ok but can you blame her? it’s not our fault rumi has hot moms

yeah op the less you question the things we find out the easier it gets to handle each new revelation

she’s literally going after the bloodline dude 💀 gotta respect the grind lowkey

Yeah one way or another she did end up bagging a Ryu I’ll give her that

CELINE IS A MILF CONFIRMED

I’m losing my mind at the image of Celine just trying to visit her kid and having to see that on their wall

knowing zoey too it was probably something like horrifically down bad. just absolutely scarring. something no parent wants to see

ok but rumi’s awkward ass replying with a thumbs up to zoey hitting on them is so fucking funny

no they’re just like me fr (in a neurodivergent kind of way)

like now i’m thinking about every time someone goes slightly off script and HUNTR/X just stares for a couple of seconds because That’s Not How This Is Supposed To Work

literally buffering when someone doesn’t follow their carefully planned out social interaction. they’re just like me fr

that poor interviewer looked so scared too he was fearing for his life meanwhile rumi has just been rambling about different types of swords without making eye contact with him for the last like fifteen minutes

all bro did was ask a question about their weapon choices for that one music video and he got subjected to an actual history lecture and it was honestly incredible

yeah @HUNTR/XOfficial i hope you don’t mind but i’m gonna need video of this on my desk by tomorrow morning. for completely personal reasons

help why is it so long 💀

god works hard but ao3 authors work harder

um how did you do this so fast

i have so much free time on my hands it’s crazy

unemployed behavior

correct

Mira confirmed as Polytrix’s top to no one’s surprise

their digital footprint is truly insane

yeah i think if i had seen this the other night i would have had to be hospitalized

what is wrong with them? like genuinely. what compelled them to post all of this shit about each other?

have you considered that they are fun and whimsical and free from the chains of society

mira didn’t even react to them saying this how often do you think this happens

they are truly no better than us

some would say they’re even worse because they literally have the real thing right there. just walk into the next room guys you don’t need to watch videos of her she literally LIVES WITH YOU

the image of zoey and rumi just sitting on the couch together giggling and watching mira thirst traps while the actual real life mira stands there alone and suffering is absolutely killing me

i can’t believe that they have the privilege of seeing mira every day and they just decide to watch edited videos of her instead

in their defense, they probably see normal relaxed regular person mira all the time and not head of operations in the serving cunt division at the mother factory mira that we all know and love

top 10 sentences that could kill a victorian child

Nice to know that Rumi and Zoey are the clothes stealing type of partners

a moment of silence for mira 😔 too tall to steal her shorter partners’ clothes she is truly suffering

that entire stream was truly one of the best things they’ve ever done. we got a cat sighting, stolen girlfriend clothes, rumi swearing, etc. it really just had it all man

i still can’t believe rumi called mira a bitch because she took the weapon she wanted in fortnite and it somehow didn’t cause a scandal

I think the only reason it didn’t was because everyone was too shocked to even do anything. Like I literally had to close the stream and stare at the wall I couldn’t even fathom doing anything else

that and maybe because of you know… the other thing… the one we all agreed not to talk about

oh yeah the pronouns. rumi’s pronouns. the pronouns they used explicitly for rumi. those pronouns.

dude hush that’s a secret remember

oh yeah my b shutting up now

no because im starting to get worried

i think the label actually took them out for real this time. i call dibs on their cat

if we’re claiming things i want rumi’s fuckass yellow jacket. that thing is so cunt i need it in my wardrobe immediately

i want mira’s met gala sleeping bag!!!

yeah we figured you would

something about that sentence made me deeply unwell. i think i need to go lie down for a while

why does everything hurt all of a sudden

Please. Stop.

I can’t believe HUNTR/X is stuck watching videos on appropriate workplace conduct because they didn’t disclose that they were in a relationship and the entire company had to find out from twitter dot com

ngl if i was their HR i would have quit the moment i read the sex tweet. like my laptop would have been out the window there’s no way i’m dealing with that mess

yeah forget about their PR team their HR department is the real victim right now

godspeed everyone, it’s been an honor serving alongside you o7

if the last week was a prank trust their overworked lawyers will be hearing from my lawyers

Now this has got to be one of the wildest statements you guys have ever had to make

we got confirmed polytrix but at what cost

NO PLEASE DONT EXTEND THE HIATUS IM BEGGING

wait what’s this about extending the hiatus

the highest of highs followed by the lowest of lows

HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THIS WOULD HAPPEN

YOU JINXED IT HOW COULD YOU

I DIDNT KNOW IM SORRY

i never forget anything when it comes to HUNTR/X (i am deeply unwell)

@worldsbestmanger bobby can we make that a shirt

I survived #Polygate and all I got out of it was this shirt

ngl this whole mess was kind of fun. it was a great bonding experience for both communities. really brought us all together

but never do that shit again. i almost had a heart attack like fifty times

no apparently we’re too busy for that or whatever but i did donate an undisclosed amount of money to the seoul zoo and now i’m getting a turtles exhibit named after me :D

i also got to name a turtle. everyone meet derpy three

Wait, why three? What happened to Derpy Two?

nothing. there is definitely only one derpy. this is just funnier. stop asking questions.

that might just have been the most suspicious way you could have said that

once again, an undisclosed amount of money goes a long way

I can’t believe capitalism wins again

what bobby doesn’t know won’t hurt him

I have post notifications turned on for all three of you. And your locations. Security also told me you left the tower.

Fuck I forgot about that

oh come on now i specifically asked them not to snitch on us to you

Unfortunately, it’s literally their job to tell me where you three are

i’m never trusting anyone ever again. its just me and my partners against the world now

why not derpy?

he stole my fucking garlic bread yesterday. he’s dead to me right now

how in the world is that on theme

don’t worry about it. inside joke. it’s not important

is this an among us bit?

i’ll kill you /j

And you wonder why we were banned from using the internet.

the /j absolves me of all guilt and consequences

I don’t think that’s how that works

aye aye captain meet me in the living room in an hour o7

I'm sorry, what custom suit?

She ordered a tailored suit with custom turtle print fabric just so she could give a presentation about why she should be able to get a turtle

yknow what that’s kind of iconic

Yeah I’m going to need her to wear that to the next event you guys go to just for shits and giggles

truly the end of an era turtles admin aka zoey huntr/x. it was an honor serving alongside you o7

i can’t believe my favorite show is over 😔

Wait please don’t tell me you’re abandoning this account. I was actually here for the turtles facts, the other stuff was just for funsies

it will be a cold day in hell before i stop infodumping about turtles. i just have to be more normal about it now or whatever. also i’ve been running this account for literal years i can’t just let all my hard work go to waste

Your “hard work” was just you being horny

even after everything we’ve been through this week you still won’t stop bullying me

You’re cute when you’re mad, and also very easy to tease

oh i’ll show you teasing get the fuck back in the living room right now

Hey, none of that on the couch.

oh yeah we’re so back guys

Hey, I think you look very charming in the suit. The tailor did a good job.

thank you rumi you’re right my ass does look great

Not what I meant.

But you’re right, it does look good.

You guys better not be flirting on here without me

sorry mira please don’t punish me (take the bait. take the fucking bait)

also hurry up and come back already i miss you >:(

stop it. down girl.

no because why did i forget for a second 💀 i was like oh my god mira huntr/x what are you doing here before remembering that it’s actually just been huntr/x who’ve been horny howling at each other in my mentions for the last like six months

which one of you got the turtles account verified. i’m not mad i just want to know

no but i’m actually being deadass rn how did this happen

I mean you are technically a famous public figure

no no no zoey is a famous public figure i’m supposed to just be simple ol turtles admin on here

girl i hate to tell you this but zoey and turtles admin are now considered to be the same person. your online personas are now one

this is the worst thing that’s ever happened to me. my public image is ruined. people know that turtles admin is fucking short now i’ve lost so much aura from this

if it makes you any feel better i've kind of always assumed you were short

bestie i will block you don’t even start

believe it or not i’m not known for being aware of which account i am on. i’ve been verified on my official account for years now a checkmark is not new to me i didn’t even think twice when i saw it

pretty sure you get a pop up telling you your account is verified when it happens

haha you think i read those that’s funny

that explains so much about you actually

hey now what’s that supposed to me

Not the disclaimer 💀

bullying turtles admin has got to be one of my favorite pastimes. i’m so glad we can keep the tradition going without her stans coming for us (please don’t dox me)

She wrote some of them before we got together btw

don’t expose me. also you beta read some of that for me so you’re just as guilty

you guys were manifesting that shit bro 💀

the way they succeeded too 💀

Imagine writing RPF about yourself and your bandmates. She’s actually insane for that what the fuck

the knowledge that there is polytix fanfiction out there that might have actually happened in real life is frying my brain

great now we gotta go and find the canon polytrix fanfiction. i need to know if lovergirl mira is as true as the prophecies say it is

…no

Seriously Zoey? That’s how you’re going to try to deny that?

mira let’s be real for a second, the people definitely already know i did that. there’s nothing i could say that would make them believe otherwise

Zoey, those are literally my moms. You have to stop.

LEAVE ME ALONE I WAS IN MIDDLE SCHOOL!!! WE DIDN’T KNOW EACH OTHER YET!!! JUST BE GLAD I NEVER POSTED IT!!!

girl you have the opportunity to do the funniest thing right now

i’m gonna be so real with you i don’t even think i have it anymore. i wrote it in some random notebook i had when i was thirteen there’s no way i brought it with me when i moved here

why did you write it on paper??? what do you mean there’s physical proof that it exists???

hey listen man i was really bored in algebra what else did you want me to do

pay attention in class???

now why would i do that

ngl i kind of love this for her. she is so unapologetically herself this is literally her world and we’re just living in it

you guys are not prepared for my theory that rumih8ter is actually just rumi using an unhealthy coping mechanism

That's almost crazy enough to be right but I doubt Zoey and Mira would let that one slide

yeah but wouldn’t it at least be a little bit funny? y’know, in a please seek therapy kind of way

I don’t know what you’re talking about and that’s definitely not the case at all. Stop asking questions.

ok so 1) i didn’t ask any questions and 2) i don’t get paid enough to think about this any further so have a nice day i guess (what the fuck)

You don’t get paid at all

exactly and that’s why this isn’t my problem anymore. i’ve wiped my hands of it and i’m gonna go log off and touch grass for a while now

rumi and mira… rumira… twitter user @rumiraontop is usually pretty active during scandals but they've been awfully quiet since this all started now haven’t they

Now lets not go around accusing random accounts of being Zoey

no i’ve done it i’ve connected the dots

You didn’t connect shit

ok but wait guys let’s actually think about this for a second. they only rock up every couple of weeks for one of two reasons: to be a little weird and horny about huntr/x and to defend them from literally everyone and everything

they also type the same way… and rumiraontop is always the first one trying to distract us all when they get into scandals…

now I don’t know about you guys but i’ve never seen rumiraontop and zoey huntr/x in the same room together before

the signs… it’s all there… i fear it might actually be her