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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    “Oh my god,” Hollander squeaks suddenly.

    Ilya freezes. “…What.”

    Hollander is staring downward. “Are you hard?” His voice is higher, not like the monotone that he's gotten used to.

    Ilya instinctively steps back and glances down. Fuck. Yes. Very. He exhales heavily. This is unfortunate. He’s not mortified—he’s never been ashamed of his sex drive—but this situation could easily become awkward and borderline predatory.

    ***

    Or, Ilya Rozanov is a legend, one of the greats of hockey, and the new head coach of the Boston Raiders, and his life is derailed by Shane Hollander, the 19-year-old genius rookie from Montreal.

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    6/?
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    07 Jun 2026

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    "Rozy," Brian, the team doctor says, "talk to me, buddy. That puck clipped you pretty good, how’s the pain?"

    Ilya blinks. He clenches his jaw against a wave of nausea. He rests his cheek on the ice, and the cold helps a little.

    "Bad. Very bad." He swallows. "Is Shane here?"

    -

    or, in the final MTL/BOS game of the year, ilya takes a puck to the head.

    Language:
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    19/?
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    06 Jun 2026

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  3. Public Bookmark 35

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    It’s hard not to have fun. The siblings seem to hate each other as much as he hates them. They both seem to know how privileged, vain, vapid, and deeply selfish the other is, failing to see it in themselves. They try to embarrass each other with stories about their past life, some of which he recognizes from his research, some he doesn’t. They don’t seem to care who he is. He could be an undercover operative from the government, sent to spy on them, for all they know. Patrick is glad he didn’t spend any time creating an elaborate backstory. No one has asked him anything.
     

    Patrick is a tax investigator with the federal government who has tracked the Roses for years. When David Rose starts making moves to start a business, he heads to Schitt's Creek to see for himself what's going on.

    Or, an obnoxiously canon-compliant retelling based on a head canon I can't unsee.

    Language:
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    Words:
    149,357
    Chapters:
    25/25
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    178
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    184
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    35
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    06 Jun 2026

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  4. Public Bookmark *

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    “Okay,” Farah began, “We can announce your relationship in two ways. We can hard launch it, like ripping off a bandaid. Or we…soft launch. Slowly. Very slowly. Give people time to wrap their heads around the idea, so that by the time you guys announce your relationship, most people will be expecting it.”

    Later that week, Shane Hollander @shanehollander24 posted: Great game tonight @realrozanov but don’t get your hopes up when Montreal’s in town.

    Thirty seconds later, Milly @shaydenforever replied: i’m screaming not my baby shane’s first post in a year being a chirp keep the PR friendship alive

    Thuy @hollanderposting: I just know his momager yuna (affectionate) put a gun to his head and said “if you really cared about your charity getting donations you’d be more active on social media” and you know what. God bless. 🙏

    Or, a social media fic in a world where Shane and Ilya didn't get outed and instead decided to soft launch their relationship

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    1/1
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    03 Jun 2026

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  5. Public Bookmark *

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    “Were you sleeping with Rose Landry?” LeClaire asked, and Ilya felt his entire world flip upside down.

    Ilya scoffed and sank into the chair. He stared at his lap and, for a second, wished he could just say yes. It would have been easier. A simpler explanation. Something everyone else could swallow. “No,” he answered instead. “I was not sleeping with Landry.”

    Coach sighed, the weight of it settling uncomfortably in the office. “So it was Hollander, then.”

     

    Or

    Ilya gets called into his Coach's office after Rose and Shane start dating and an uncomfortable conversation takes place. Ilya realizes some things. Also he may need to stop reading his thesaurus.

    Language:
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    03 Jun 2026

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