axisofodd



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    The Russian man read his phone. "Can I get berry kefir smoothie in large cup but keep the juice small, only with more ice. But if ice will separate kefir within twenty-five minutes, then he will get Almond Butter and Banana Smoothie but only half almond butter, and add…”

    He must have noticed now that Dorian was no longer typing, “Is there issue?”

    Dorian shrugged. “No. I’m just waiting for you to actually be serious about what your 'Husband' wants.”

    The man scoffed, “What are finger bunnies for.” He wiped his nose, taking a breath, “My husband is real. Do you know who I am?”

    or

    Dorian works in a smoothie shop, and if there's one thing he hates more than his job, it's people who order ridiculously complicated smoothies and then pretend they're for someone else.

    Then a Russian man walks in and does exactly that.

    What follows is a week-long battle of Ilya trying to convince a smoothie shop employee that his very real husband is, in fact, real.

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    21 Jul 2026

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    Anyway, Shane didn't remember exactly what was in the folder ... But he knew they were all good shots of him.

    He hastily clicked open the folder, his eyes barely glancing through the dozen or so shots there, vaguely registering a picture with a sunset background from his condo balcony, something of him laughing, a picture of him working at his laptop with his glasses on...

    The director called him again, and he shook his head, the photos blurring. Whatever. It would have to do.

    He clicked "select all," then the messages icon, then Rozanov's name. Hit send.

    ----

    Or: When never-hooked-up Shane and Ilya have to collaborate on a league charity project, Shane accidentally sends Ilya a nude.

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    10 Jul 2026

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    Look at that. Another white guy with his little Asian sugar baby.

    Twenty-seven years, and not once has a stranger looked at David Hollander and his son and seen a father. Then Ilya Rozanov sits beside him in a restaurant and a server says, "Can I get anything else for you and your son?" David does not correct him.`

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    07 Jul 2026

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    “Shane,” Rose says gently. “I don’t think Eva is good for you.”

    Shane sighs into his water glass. This again. You get one shoe thrown at you during an argument, and suddenly everyone thinks you’re being abused.

    Or: Shane ends up dating Rose’s co-star rather than her, and soon finds himself in an abusive relationship. Ilya and Shane's friends need to put aside their differences in order to keep him safe.

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    30 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    ...oh,” his mom says. “Oh, honey, you were seeing someone? You never said anything.”

    “It’s-it’s complicated.” He catches the present tense too fucking late to do anything about it, and he barely resists the urge to either groan or slip forward to start beating his head against the coffee table.

    Fuck his fucking life.

    “You’re still…seeing this person?” His mom asks, and the amount of control he can hear her exerting is almost painful. “Who is-”

    “Yuna,” his dad cuts in, voice quiet, “maybe give him a second, yeah?”

    Yeah, Shane agrees in his head. Give him a second.

    Maybe give him a decade while they’re at it.

    (when shane's old fake id falls out of his wallet around his parents, he has to explain that it was to book hotel rooms before he was 21)

    (...and then he has to explain why he needed to book those hotel rooms in the first place)

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    29 Jun 2026