babyschwaz



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    “What do you mean it’s the first day?” Shane asks. “Did you hit your head or something?”

    Ilya rolls his eyes. “One concussion and you’re Dr. Concussion, now.”

    The smile comes home. Ilya’s whole heart. “I don’t get the joke.”

    “Because you got a concussion,” Ilya reminds him. “Oh. No, the other part was not a joke. It is the first day, again.”

    -

    or: Is it hell if it’s heaven forever?

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    30 Aug 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    “I cannot talk about this anymore,” Ilya says. Hiccups. “Unless you have read somewhere there’s a magical sex position that cures hiccups, I—”

    Shane makes an interesting sound. Ilya’s head snaps up. Shane is making intense eye contact with the wall next to them, and he’s pink - pinker than he would usually be from being pressed against a door and kissed. And, crucially, he’s gone rock hard against Ilya’s thigh. Ilya is fucking delighted.

    Hollander,” he says. Thrilled. “There is a sex position that cures hiccups?”

    -

    Ilya Rozanov gets fingered.

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    30 Aug 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    The Boston Raiders are making decent time heading up into Michigan when one of the horses almost breaks an ankle on what’s left of the road.

    A highly lethal—and highly contagious—virus has swept across the planet, taking down the power grid, toppling society, and leaving behind only a tiny fraction of the population. For a while, it seems like everything is over. This is not the case.

    Or: The world ends. Shane Hollander starts playing for Boston. Yes, in that order.

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    27 Aug 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    the cens win the cup. shane and ilya go to the cottage. red-tailed hawk juveniles are on the nest.

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    13 Aug 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    "A stairway to the roof. The glow of the emergency exit in a dark movie theater. Path down to the sea. Permission.

    Follow me and I will lead you out, Ilya had always told him. We will go together. He lit up Shane’s entire existence like a lighthouse. There would never be anyone else."

    jesus

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    He crowds Shane into the hood of the car, hands up under his shirt and jacket again. October is getting cold; nights are getting colder. The places where Ilya is touching him are the only parts of Shane’s body that are warm right now. Maybe that’s why he wraps his arms around Ilya’s neck and clings to him, though he doesn’t necessarily surprise himself with it. They don’t even kiss for a moment. Ilya busies himself breathing into the crook of Shane’s neck, trying to regain control. Shane opens his eyes and gazes over Ilya’s shoulder at the dark field and realizes that an utterly foreign feeling has risen up in him. It’s Ilya’s broad shoulders and beautiful hair between Shane and the world and he feels—small. Protected.
    “Oh my God,” Shane whispers, completely ashamed of the feeling and hungry for it. It curls warm in his stomach. His toes arch inside his shoes. Something about being so close to this man, something about Ilya putting himself between Shane and—the world. Whatever lurks in the deep night. It’s a feeling like a ghost, something that Shane isn’t allowed to look directly at except for moments like these. Quiet and dark.

    Shane, Ilya, Vermont. Meeting in the middle.

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    25 Jul 2026