slothmachine
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Summary
Nick Wilde moves in with Judy Hopps and immediately discovers a problem: they are doing everything married couples do, except for the part where they’ve never been on a date.
Somewhere between shared evenings on the couch, accidental “I love yous,” and learning how to ask for what they need without falling apart, Nick starts testing how much happiness he’s allowed to want—and how much steadiness Judy is already offering him without realizing it.
Everyone else already knows what this is. Nick is just trying to survive it.
A (maddening, mentally insane) story about domestic intimacy, boundary negotiations, paralyzing anxiety, and two idiots who haven’t noticed they’re already home.
Series
- Part 1 of A Perfectly Normal Relationship
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 53,768
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Comments:
- 671
- Kudos:
- 1,607
- Bookmarks:
- 324
- Hits:
- 35,493
Bookmarked by slothmachine
08 Feb 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
I think I already bookmark this before but this desevered second
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Summary
Convinced it will make them better partners, Judy asks Nick to take the 5 Love Languages Quiz. He refuses, of course. Obviously, the solution for this is to secretly love him in all five ways, and figure out what he likes best!
The results of this... vary greatly. She winds up discovering far more than she expects.
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Summary
"....Take your pantssss off."
"Wait, what?"
"I ssssaid," Moon repeats in what feels like a satisfied hiss. “Take your pants. Off.”
“R-right here?”
It’s not like Cam was against the suggestion—hell, both of the funky not-so-little jesters had taken at least one opportunity to fuck the handler’s brain out across the security desk, despite the assumption that they couldn’t go anywhere near it. Well, not normally at least. From what Sun had babbled on about the last time it happened, the rule was less a hard requirement and more of a gentle expectation. A soft-coded warning to make sure that Sun nor Moon didn’t intimidate or get in the way of a guard trying to do their job.
And oh boy, Cam had felt something alright, but certainly not intimidated.
Moon, however, didn’t sound like he wanted to give the human much time to debate his choice.
“Right here.” he repeats, each syllable hanging off the razor-sharp edge of his teeth. “Right now."
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Summary
Dark gets…weird, sometimes.
He has been for all the years they’ve been together.
Every few months, he’ll start pulling away more, start hiding in his room or going out on his own, his hands will start to shake. It builds up slowly, slowly, slowly, until they’re barely even interacting.
And then he’ll snap, and after that? He’ll be normal again. (At least for a little while.)
Chosen remembers the first time like it was yesterday.
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aka; they cope with dark’s code by fucking
aka; I can’t believe nobody’s done this yet
aka; HEED THE TAGS- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 9,168
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 85
- Kudos:
- 598
- Bookmarks:
- 65
- Hits:
- 8,536
Bookmarked by slothmachine
05 May 2025
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Summary
This is our official report into the findings of the subject in question. They are precise, well-documented, and without embellishment or hyperbole.
What lies herein is a full accounting of the events that bear the most significant and urgent scrutiny. We will relay our findings once we are satisfied with judgement. We do not take this lightly.
And neither should you.
Series
- Part 2 of The Doctor's Ode