trashpandafred



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    It’s not going viral because Jane’s true identity was exposed—or even because Ilya was blatantly sexting in public. That part’s as expected as Shane doing yoga or any human being on earth breathing.

    No, the texts are going viral because no one can believe how bad this “Jane” is at sexting.

    The women of the world are outraged. The men of the world are baffled. No one can understand why Ilya Rozanov, whose abs have their own fan club, is wasting his time on ‘a piece of cardboard that wished to be turned into a real girl’ (this particular joke has 300k likes and counting).

    Or: After a social media trend mocks Shane's sexting skills, he tries to improve them. It goes about as poorly as you'd expect.

    Now available in Russian

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,196
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1,499
    Kudos:
    48,394
    Bookmarks:
    10,093
    Hits:
    310,280

    22 May 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    “Wait, I could totally see that,” Connors says. “She wears reading glasses and he’s, like, obsessed with them. Sometimes on the road, he calls her from the bathroom and I hear him begging her to put them on.”

    “The glasses! I heard that too.” Shit, it must be a fetish, right? She doesn’t just happen to be old. Rozy likes that she’s old.

    Or: Cliff figures out why Ilya’s keeping his Montreal girl a secret. She’s not a girl at all...she's an elderly woman. Or maybe an elderly man?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,596
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1,738
    Kudos:
    23,122
    Bookmarks:
    4,196
    Hits:
    118,758

    22 May 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    It's the 2020-2021 season. Ottawa Centaurs forward Derek Briggs, an undrafted player from the Swedish Hockey League, is having a fantastic rookie season. He makes the team out of camp, claws his way up to the second line, lives through an almost plane crash, and has a crush on his fellow rookie that just might be reciprocated. The Centaurs might even make the playoffs.

    Then, news breaks that Shane Hollander is suing the Metros and MLH for terminating his contract after he came out to them in 2017. Derek, who played with Shane in Sweden after he was forced out of Montreal, gets a lot more popular for all the wrong reasons. The media seems to think he's the secret hockey player Hollander's dating, Crowell is breathing down his neck, and all of a sudden, Centaurs captain Ilya Rozanov has it out for him.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    34,188
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Comments:
    353
    Kudos:
    1,852
    Bookmarks:
    353
    Hits:
    30,907

    17 May 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    An exploration of the first few months of Ilya and Shane’s “official” relationship, featuring Shane’s extremely supportive parents who do not do anything by half measures. Starts in September 2017.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,478
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    335
    Kudos:
    5,113
    Bookmarks:
    1,295
    Hits:
    54,102

    16 May 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Cliff isn’t proud of it, but his first thought when he sees the video is that he knew Roz was going to be involved in some kind of sex scandal one day. He always kind of assumed there was a sex tape out there somewhere, that would end up spreading like wildfire.

    It’s just that the scandal in Cliff’s mind involved something more like the adulterous wife of a Voyageur, and less like the anonymous dick of some guy in a club bathroom.

    So, point to Roz, he guesses, for still managing to surprise him after all these years.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,310
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    156
    Kudos:
    3,198
    Bookmarks:
    201
    Hits:
    18,593

    15 May 2026