Chapter Text
Sirius felt the blood dripping down his face and the cold breeze against his neck as he stood at the end of the driveway. This is where he would be safe if they accepted him… But would they take him in? Looking down at his feet he saw the small suitcase he had packed and felt the heavy backpack on his shoulders. His body ached and tears were falling down his face. Everything that happened to him that night flooded his mind as he slowly walked towards the front door.
The dinner table was quiet as the small family ate. All members had their backs straight as they sat proudly and still at the table. It was normal for the Noble House of Black to eat silently with their backs as straight as boards. After all, it was drilled into them at a young age to sit proudly or bad things would happen. No one made eye contact and no one made a noise, not even a sound of cutlery against a plate was made.
Sirius kept his eyes on his plate and ate silently. Something felt off but he didn’t know what was going on. The slight tension in his father’s brow and the rigidness of his mother’s posture told him that a storm was coming and all he could do was sit and wait. A quick glance at his brother, Regulus, told Sirius that his brother had said something and knew what was coming. Sirius drew in a quiet deep breath to ground himself as he at the last piece of food on his plate. Sitting at the table Sirius waited to be dismissed like any other night, but he wasn’t dismissed and his heart started to race.
“Sirius,” his father, Orion, began in a voice of a stone-cold manner.
“Yes, father?” Sirius replied quietly but in a confident tone just as he was raised to talk.
“I thought we taught you better and raised you better but apparently I was wrong. I had finally had a small amount of hope.” Orion Black stood from the table and called out for his servant. “Kreacher!”
As Kreacher walked into the room, he stood behind Sirius’ chair and placed his hands on the young man, keeping him still. Orion walked towards Sirius and pulled a pair of scissors from the china cabinet.
Sirius felt his heart beat louder and faster in his chest and his breathing grow heavier. What had he done? What had Regulus told his parents? Sirius had been trying so hard to stay in his parents’ good books and to not give them a reason to hurt him this summer, but apparently, life had other plans.
“Maybe it’s your hair that has caused this disobedience,” Orion said cruelly, winding a hand around his son’s shoulder-length hair and pulled it back.
As Sirius’ head was harshly yanked back, tears threatened to fall but Sirius refused to let them fall. He kept the tears in as he felt his father cut his hair close to his scalp. What had Sirius done to deserve this? Why was this happening and why wasn’t his brother stopping them? Sirius felt the scissors cut his skin as his father continued to cut his hair shorter and shorter. Before he knew it, Sirius was thrown from his chair and his father had kicked him in the stomach, hard.
“You’re a disgrace to the Black name!” His father yelled, picking him up by his shirt and throwing him at the wall. “You’re a disgrace to the family!”
“What have I done?!” Sirius cried in pain, not knowing why this was happening. He was used to his parents beating him but he always knew why they were doing it to him. They would hurt him if he tried to help Regulus, if he slouched, if he talked back or even if he acted like he was hiding something. Sirius always knew why he was getting punished but this time he had no idea why it was happening.
“We know that you think you’re bisexual!” Sirius’ mother, Walburga, screamed from the table. “We raised you better than that!”
Sirius felt the blood drain from his face as he turned to look at his brother. Regulus avoided eye contact and Sirius knew who had told them. Sirius didn’t know how Regulas found out because Sirius hadn’t told anyone, not even his best friend James Potter. Sirius had told no one in fear of his parents finding out and not even that had saved him. Tears fell from his eyes as he felt his father’s rings cut his face as Orion threw punches at Sirius’ face.
“You’re filthy and a disgrace!” His father screamed, continually throwing punches.
“Master,” Kreacher spoke from the entrance of the dining room. “The Malfoys are at the door asking for you.”
This was the only moment Sirius would have to escape. He laid on the ground until he heard his mother, father and Kreacher leave the room. Once they had left, Sirius stood up as quickly as he could and quietly made his way to his room, this was the only time he would be able to escape and he had to take it.
“Sirius-”
“Shut the fuck up, Regulus,” Sirius harshly whispered as he wiped the blood from his face and made his way up the stairs. “Don’t you think you’ve done enough?”
Closing and locking the door behind him to his room, Sirius started filling his backpack with everything he needed. For the past five months, he had an emergency bag always packed in case something happened. His emergency bag was a small suitcase filled with toiletries, clothes, a sleeping bag, Advil and Tylenol, a first aid kit and money that he hid under his bed. He quickly threw his phone into his pocket, put his charger in his backpack along with any personal belongings he didn’t want to leave here. Within three minutes Sirius was packed and ready to go just in time to hear his mother walking up the stairs.
Sirius opened his window and quickly put his backpack on and grab his suitcase in his arms. Crawling through the window, Sirius made the jump and landed safely on the ground before be began running away. He didn’t know where he was going but it was only a matter of minutes before he found himself standing at the end of the Potters’ driveway.
Sirius stood outside the Potter Household and debated turning around and leaving. He loved the Potters but what if they were the same as his parents? What if they hated him as much as his parents did when they found out he was bisexual? He couldn’t tell them yet… He needed at least one night of sleep before he had to find his own place to live. He couldn’t risk the Potters turning on him, if they turned on him then he truly had no one.
Making the decision to knock, Sirius raised his hand and knocked softly on the oak door. His heart started beating faster when he heard someone walking towards the door. Quickly wiping his face again to get the tears and blood off of his face, Sirius turned his eyes to the ground.
“Hello-”
Sirius heard Mrs Potter stop talking as soon as she had started and flinched when he felt her place her hand softly on his cheek.
“Sirius, love,” she began softly, using her hand to lift his head to look at her.
Sirius slowly looked up and saw a sad smile on Mrs Potter’s face before he was slowly pulled inside the house and pulled into a hug.
She won’t hug me when she finds out who I am, Sirius thought to himself. Pulling himself out of the hug, Sirius wrapped his arms around himself and wiped the blood that was still falling from his face.
Why am I here?
I should have gone somewhere else…
The Potters shouldn’t see me like this… No one should see me like this…
Sirius was pulled out of his thoughts as he heard someone running down the stairs. Looking up, Sirius made eye contact with his best friend and honourary brother, James Potter.
James couldn’t move for a full 30 seconds as he stared at his brother… What had Sirius’ parents done to him?... Finally being able to move, James ran down the stairs and pulled Sirius into a tight embrace, feeling his brother falling apart in tears into his shoulder.
“I’m so sorry, Pads,” James whispered quietly, guiding the two of them to the couch. “What did they do to you?”
Sirius remained quiet at the question, he couldn’t tell James. He couldn’t lose James.
“They cut your hair, Sirius!” James quietly yelled. “They cut your hair and you’re face is bruised and bleeding! What did they do, Pads? Please tell me,” James begged and pleaded. “I love you, Pads. You’re my brother and I need to know what happened so I can help!”
“James,” Sirius finally whispered harshly. “I love you man, but no fucking way!”
“Sirius, love,” Mrs Potter said as she knelt in front of her honourary son and started cleaning his cuts. “We love you and nothing will change that.”
“Son,” Mr Potter added, sitting down on the chair beside the couch. “We want to help, you’re safe here and you can stay here. We aren’t letting you go back.”
“Padfoot, please… We can help you.”
Sirius kept his eyes on his lap. The Potters always treated him as family but he didn’t know if they would still accept him. He couldn’t lose them and right now he couldn’t lose anything else or he would break.
“I can’t lose you guys...” Sirius whispered painfully.
“You won’t, my love,” Mrs Potter said. She placed a cup of hot chocolate in his hands and a plate of cookies on the coffee table. “Nothing will stop us from loving you. We will let you and James talk but you call us if you need us.”
After placing a gentle kiss on Sirius’ forehead, Mrs Potter left the room with her husband following her. The room was silent as James sat beside Sirius and Sirius slowly sipped his hot chocolate and tried to figure out where to start.
“They cut your hair...”
“I know,” Sirius mumbled. “I was there when it happened.”
James rolled his eyes in amusement and sadness. Sirius would always use humour as a defence mechanism and it made sense that Sirius would still use it now. It almost made James feel better that Sirius was being sarcastic, if Sirius wasn’t then things would be much worse than James could imagine.
“What happened, Sirius?”
“My family is just strict-”
“This isn’t strict! My parents are strict but they don’t abuse me!”
“It’s not abuse!”
“For fucks sake, Sirius! They cut your hair, your face is bloody and bruised and I can tell that you got kicked or punched in your stomach because you keep flinching every time you move! That’s not something strict parents would do!”
“It’s normal!” Sirius snapped back. “It’s been happening for as long as I can remember! It will break me if I admit it was abuse!”
Silence filled the room at Sirius’ outburst and James finally realized what he said.
“They… they’ve hurt you before? And you didn’t get help?”
“Prongs-”
“How long?! How long have you been hurting and I didn’t know?”
“It’s not your fault, James...”
“But we could have gotten you out sooner!”
“I was fine-”
“Because it was normalized!” James blurted in anger. “You were fine because you believed that it was normal! This isn’t normal, Sirius! You’re bleeding!”
“James,” Sirius quietly spoke, rubbing his eyes gently. “I know it’s not. I know it’s not normal but the only way I could survive in that house was if I just accepted it. You can’t expect me to change my mindset after being away from that house for less than an hour.”
“I know,” James said quietly. “I just wished I could have been there for you...”
“Just… Don’t leave me, James… I need you and your parents and I will break if you guys turn your backs on me as well.”
“Son,” Mr Potter said as he walked back into the room with his wife. “You’re safe here and we aren’t leaving you. You’re family.”
“I’ve booked you an appointment with my friend,” Mrs Potter added. “She’s a therapist and she can help.”
“But therapists are expensive and-”
“Sirius,” Mrs Potter interrupted, placing her hand on his shoulder gently. “Money doesn’t matter. You’re like a son to Fleamont and me. Don’t you worry about money or anything else. You’re safe here.”
“I’m bisexual,” Sirius blurted out. “I don’t want you guys to tell me these things only to take it back when you find out… I’m bisexual...”
“That changes nothing, Pads,” James said with a smile.
“We still love you, Sirius. Your sexuality doesn’t change anything,” Mr Potter said.
“We still love you, Sirius. You’re safe now,” Mrs Potter said with a small laugh.
Sirius felt tears fill his eyes as a smile fell on his lips. The Potters still loved him? They accepted him?
“Thank you,” he quietly whispered before being pulled into a family hug.
“You’re family,” Mrs Potter said with a laugh. “There is no need to thank us for loving our family.”
James and Sirius were sitting in James’ room later that night playing Mario Kart when James decided to start a conversation.
“Is that why they did it?”
“What do you mean?” Sirius asked, staying focused on the game.
“Did your parents do all of this because they found out you were bisexual?”
Sirius sat quietly for a moment as he and James continued to race each other.
“Yeah,” he finally admitted.
“How did they find out? I didn’t even know...”
“Somehow Regulus found out-”
“Your brother outed you to your parents?!”
“I’m assuming so. I didn’t tell anyone because I was scared that my parents would find out and, well, do everything they did. I don’t know how Regulus found out but I know his body language and he was on edge all night during supper.”
“I’m so sorry, Pads...”
“It’s okay,” Sirius mumbled quietly. “I’m sorry you’re not going to be an only child any longer.”
“You have always been like a brother to me,” James said with a laugh, shoving Sirius’ shoulder lightly. “Now I just get to call you my brother and we get to spend more time together.”
“You’re sure your parents don’t mind me staying here? And you don’t mind it?”
James quickly paused the game and ran his hand through his hair before speaking.
“Sirius,” he began. “I’m pretty sure my parents have already ordered a bed for you to put in here. While you were cleaning up and showering, my parents and I talked about it. You have been family since the first year of elementary school. We always thought something was going on in your home life but we never had any proof to bring it up. My parents are so excited for you to be here and if your parents would let them then they would legally adopt you so quickly that you would get whiplash. I’ve always hated it when you have to leave and I’m so happy that you’re staying here.” James ran his hand through his hair before continuing. “We are more than happy to have you staying here rather than at the Noble and Abusive house of Black.”
“Thanks, James,” Sirius said with a small smile. “Thanks for always being there for me and for being the best brother I could ever wish for.”
“You’re my brother, Sirius. I’ll always be there for you.”
“Even when I beat you again in Mario Kart?”
“Shut the fuck up and pick another race. I demand a rematch because you are somehow cheating!”
“You’re actually just really bad-”
“Rematch!!”