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“Are you okay?” Lily asks quietly as she sits on the edge of Remus’ bed.
“I’m fine,” he whispered in response as he closed the book he was skimming, placing it on his bedside table and looking up at his sister.
“No you’re not,” she responded with a sad smile.
“And yet you still asked the question,” came the slightly sarcastic and exhausted retort.
It was one of the bad days for Remus, one of the days where his depression became too much and he couldn’t get out of bed. One of the days where his thoughts wouldn’t stop and he wanted to do nothing but run away from everything, but his depression wouldn’t let him leave his room. The only thing he had the energy to do was reach over to his bedside table, grab a book, and flip through the book. He didn’t read the book, he didn’t have the energy to read it. All Remus could do on these days was to flip through books, pretending to read, while drifting in and out of consciousness.
If it was a school day, Lily would drop by after classes and sit with him. If it wasn’t a school day, she would do whatever was absolutely needed to be done that day before dropping everything else and sitting with Remus for as long as possible.
Lily would make sure that he ate some food and drank some water. She never tried to force him out of the state he was in because she knew it didn’t help and it only made Remus feel guilty. She tried to pull him out once and never tried again because it ended with them both crying, Remus because he felt like he wasn’t good enough and wasn’t trying hard enough and Lily because she felt like she made Remus feel that way. Lily learned that taking things at his speed and gently pushing him to eat and drink water was the best way to support her best friend.
As soon as she realized that today was a bad day, Lily finished her shift at the cafe, The Order, and went home, crawling from her room window through the tree and into Remus’ bedroom through his window.
“You know I will always ask,” Lily explained as she helped her brother sit up in bed and passed him a smoothie she brought from work. “Drink up, love.”
“I’m not hungry...”
“That’s what you told me and that’s why I brought you a smoothie instead of a sandwich. You need something in your stomach, okay? So drink.”
With a silent nod, Remus took a small sip of the smoothie and patted the spot beside him. With a knowing smile, Lily moved to sit next to Remus, pulling the blanket up over their laps and resting Remus’ head on her shoulder. One of the perks of being best friends for so long was that Remus and Lily knew each other like the back of their hands, with a simple gesture or look, the other knew what was needed or what was being thought of.
“How was your day?” Lily finally asked once Remus had finished his smoothie.
“It could have been worse,” he shrugged, staring at his wall.
“What’s on your mind, love?”
“It’s nothing...”
“Nothing you want to talk about or nothing you want to bother me with?”
“All of the above?”
“Whatever you want to talk about,” Lily began softly, “I’m here to listen.”
“I’m tired,” Remus whispered.
“Okay,” Lily nodded, “what do you need?”
“So many characters go through terrible events,” Remus continued as he motioned tiredly towards the books on his bedside table, “but they die before their happy ending.”
With a silent nod, Lily ran her fingers through her brother’s hair to encourage him to continue.
“I just… it seems that every book I read, the character who deserves everything good in life dies right before they get it and I’m tired of it. Newt dies right before his happy ending and he was the one who deserved to have a happy ending out of everyone… Augustus dies tragically near the end of The Fault in Our Stars. Even Rue, the tiny girl who was forced to fight to the death with other competitors, and died before her happy ending, same with Prim! I just don’t understand anymore… the books aren’t the reason I’m like this, I shouldn’t have started that way-”
“I didn’t think they were the reason, don’t apologize. It’s okay, I know it’s sad-”
“It’s not just sad though, Lily… It’s heartbreaking and unfair. They make it through so much and then… they don’t get their happy ending.”
“I know, it is unfair...”
“Say it.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about-”
“Lily,” Remus sighs tiredly with slight amusement. “If I wasn’t feeling as done with life as I was, I’d give a sarcastic response. I know you, say whatever you’re thinking because I’m too tired to try to figure it out on my own.”
“Okay,” Lily whispered, grabbing her brother’s hand softly. “I felt the same way about you last year.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean,” she began to explain, “it was finally over and you were so close to getting better and having a happy ending and I found you after you took all those pills. I thought you were going to die before your happy ending.”
“I’m not living a happy ending-”
“Then it’s not the end.”
“Oh...”
“Your happy ending hasn’t been reached yet because it’s not the end and I’ll be damned if I let you die before your happy ending.”
“But-”
“There’s no but,” Lily sternly and lovingly interrupts. “I will not let you die before we’re both old and grey, causing chaos in a retirement home.”
“What if I die in an accident? What if it’s out of our control?”
“Then I’ll make a fucking resurrection stone and bring you back!”
“What’s a resurrection stone?”
“I don’t know! It’ll be a stone that… resurrects… people?”
“Got it,” Remus lightly laughs, making Lily smile at the sound. “I’ll do my best to not die.”
“Good,” Lily laughs as she pulls her brother into a tight hug. “You’re getting your happy ending. We’ll have husbands, maybe some kids, chaos, anything that you need to make sure you get a happy ending, I will make sure you get it.”
“How about our husbands go mysteriously missing and we deal with our grief through our randomly new bought vacation houses with plenty of money?”
“I hear Sirius and James are both single and have money...”
“Soccer boy who keeps asking you out and his like, honourary brother?”
“Those are the ones!”
“Don’t tell me you’re finally falling for him… you don’t even know him!”
“Says the one who falls in love with fictional characters!”
“You do it too!”
“Alright, alright,” he says with a small smile, closing his eyes and pulling the blanket around their shoulders. “Thanks for coming over again...”
“I’ll always be here when you need me,” Lily smiles back. “I’m proud of you, Rem.”
“I wish I could be proud of myself...”
“It’s okay, I’m proud enough of you for the both of us. You’ll be proud of yourself one day and I’ll make sure of it. You’re my brother, I’m not going anywhere.”
“Thanks, Lil’s. I love you.”
“I love you too, now get some rest and I’ll be here when you wake up.”