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Alpha Station: A Battlestar Galactica Fantasy Reboot

Summary:

200,000 years after the Colonial Fleet touched down,Earth is in a state of disaster. Its inhabitants have moved to space stations orbiting the planet. With the help of an ancient cylon couple they work to fulfill a prophecy; The leaders who brought the people to earth must return to save them. Bill & Laura return first and find more than another call to duty awaiting them. Chapters 1-7 are meant to be read as a series. Chapter 8 and up are meant to be episodic.

Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Summary:

The idea for this story is based on my fantasy BSG 2003 Reboot.

Chapters 1-8 are to be read as a series.

Chapters 9 and on are to be read as episodes.

All rights and credit is given to RDM and NBC Universal except for my original concepts and characters.

This story features 6-7 BSG characters as well as 6-7 original characters. It is not an AU but is set into the far off future post Daybreak.

Characters include but are not limited to: Saul Tigh, Ellen Tigh, Laura Roslin, Bill Adama, Athena Agathon, Karl Agathon, D'Anna Biers, Sam Anders and OCs

This story contains strong language, sexual situations, violence and mature subject matter just as BSG 2003 did.

**This story also contains mentions of futuristic languages based on linguistics, mostly from Eastern Europe and China. The fictional languages are not meant to truly emulate French, Chinese, Polish or Russian though they are inspired by a mix of actual dialects. The translations found at the bottom of each chapter ( by reader request) are approximations of each fictional language. They are not meant to be taken or used in real life.

Please leave reviews to let me know what you think!

Good Hunting!

Chapter Text

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

YEAR: 2315

She silently stood in front of the stasis chambers staring intently as she so often did. It was something she'd grown up doing. It could almost be called a habit, a ritual of sorts but this day was different. The cold recycled air of the space station's laboratory whirred in her ears. The sound was a constant comfort to her throughout her life in Orbit, though she would only have known that had it ever stopped, and it never did. Twisting a strand of her long dark hair around her index finger she peered through the glass of one chamber, then the other, fixated on the precious inhabitants suspended within the crystal clear solution. It had always been one of her favorite places to be. She all but grew up in the sterile laboratory. Hell, she was born there. When the man she called her father was still alive he would bring her there to watch him work. He would explain every process, every theory, every calculation and algorithm to her in great detail though she was only a small child. She was fascinated and enchanted by it all, because, as he told her from the time she was born, it was all for them; the lifeless bodies of the man and woman in the giant tanks.

"We owe everything to them, Yekaterina." She could still hear her foster father say. "The entire human race exists now because of them," He would tell her with such passion it gave her chills long before she was even old enough to understand just what it meant. "Especially you my little Katya, because I made you from them. And one day they may save you and all of us once again," He would say to her over and over. "That is why they are so precious, more precious than even you my koshka. This is why their care is indispensable and why you must look after them, even if one day I am not here with you."

And she did. Even after her father's death Katya continued to stay close to his cherished projects; training with the space station's scientists, monitoring solution quality, keeping up with program projections and even personally caring for the bodies when they were taken out of stasis for chamber maintenance and other procedures. She cherished those times most of all. When the the bodies were out of stasis they were put on life support. Katya would hold the man's cold hands in her own as if she could warm them. She would sit by his side staring at vacant cobalt eyes that so perfectly matched her own. They were usually closed in stasis. She was only able to see them on the rare occasions when he was out.

She would brush the woman's long red hair that seemed more alive than the body it hung from. Though it didn't match her own dark waves Katya was always mesmerized by how much the texture and thickness of the curls felt like her own.

She would always stay with them until they were safely re-submerged. Most days though, she would just come to stare, watching them age at a controlled unnatural pace. She did it even now that she was grown and her interests and capabilities had taken her attentions to other station priorities. She did it even though it upset her husband and took her away from time she probably should have been spending with him. She made sure that she spent time there with them as often as she could no matter what.

The couple who raised her on Alpha Station after her foster father's death had known them. They had known the original "them". They had touched and embraced the original bodies. They were even responsible for providing the materials needed to create the identical reproductions that now existed, but most importantly to Katya, they had known the souls who possessed them. They often told her stories of their times together. They told her of their fight to find the planet she and her people currently orbited. They told her of their character, their passions, their strengths and their flaws. Sometimes while she watched the faces through the glass she would imagine she could see hints of the personalities that her adoptive parents spoke about. Rationally she knew that none of it was really there. She knew that they were just copies, just reproductions of the people who had found Earth over two hundred thousand years ago. They were inanimate replicas, just lifeless shells; at least they would be until later in the day.

The thought made Katya's stomach turn. Though her childhood and adolescence had been consumed with daydreams of a time when it would finally happen age and cynicism had worn away at the fantasy of a happy meeting and warm familial interactions.

It was happening for a higher purpose. It was fulfilling a prophecy. It was for humankind, for the future of Earth, so that her people wouldn't have to abandon the home that so many had fought to find them thousands upon thousands of years before. It wasn't about her.

"Big day today, Captain," A voice startled Katya, interrupting her solemn thoughts.

A petite young woman with dark brown skin and warm happy eyes stood smiling at her.

"Yes," Katya agreed, trying but failing to force even the smallest smile in return.

The woman walked toward her in a bright white lab coat that was at least two sizes too big. She stopped by the chambers and quickly punched some numbers into the screen that sat between the two tanks. She then took a small transparent tablet device out of her lab coat. Like most image screens in Orbit the device looked like nothing more than a thin clear square of plastic but as she swiped her dark delicate fingers over its smooth surface it began to glow with colors and graphics and endless streams of data. The scientist recorded her findings onto the tablet before slipping it back into her coat pocket.

"We already started to decrease the chamber pressure last night. We should actually have them out within the next few hours if all goes as planned," The cheerful woman explained. "I'm sure you'll want to prep them for the download," She added with a smile.

Katya looked passed her toward the screen and then back to each tank before stubbornly crossing her arms in front of herself.

"Not this time, Sydra," Katya said without taking her eyes off of the glass.

"But why?" The smaller woman asked, visibly surprised.
When Katya didn't answer she went on.
"I just assumed that you would want to get the bodies ready. Maybe spend some time with them? You always take such good care of them during maintenance. Why not brush her hair today when she will finally be able to appreciate it?" The young doctor tried to joke.

"I won't be coming today," Katya said softly, still not offering the other woman any eye contact.

"Not coming?" Dr. Sydra gawked. "But why? How could you miss it? After all you're…"

"I'm just not coming today," Katya sternly cut her off before she could finish.

The young women reluctantly nodded in acceptance. More than a little confused she slowly walked away to return to her lab work leaving Katya to stare at the tanks alone.

"The hell you're not!" A grumbling voice suddenly shouted from behind her.

Katya winced but didn't bother to turn around.

"You can't force me to go, Uncle Saul," She retorted keeping her focus firmly intact as the grumpy balding man joined her by her side.

"Katya, come on now, we've been over this a thousand times. The download is scheduled to begin at fourteen hundred hours and I sure as frak expect you to be there," He barked.

"Expect it all you want. I'm not going." Katya said in protest.

"This is absurd. You know how important this is, to all of us," He argued glaring at her in frustration with his one eye.

Growing up Katya had always been surprised at how much emotion just one eye could convey. She knew his people probably had the technology to repair it for centuries. They'd sure enough gone through great lengths to stop the aging process on he and his wife, and yet she'd met him with a scowl and a patch on his face. She knew that when Saul and his wife had moved to Alpha Station the doctors aboard had offered to procure him a cloned tissue or digital ocular substitute quite a few times. He'd refused every offer. Katya had asked him once why it was that he didn't want his vision fully restored, let alone his face repaired. He had told her that it didn't feel right. He told her that the people he had fought alongside had suffered greatly and long been dead and buried. He lamented that he couldn't change it or anything else that was lost during their battles. He said that he already had to live an eternity without them; so he might as well live with a constant reminder of the times he struggled by their sides. For a moment Katya wondered if he would feel differently by the end of the day.

"We don't even know if it's going to work," She said looking away from him, knowing the anger that her snide remark would spark.

"It'll work, and you and everyone orbiting the planet better hope like hell that it does," He growled.

"I hope it works, you know that," She defended. "I just don't want to be there. Aunt Ellen understands, Alexi understands. Why can't you?"

She shook her head and Saul grabbed forcefully at her arm.

"I understand just fine, little girl. And for the record Ellen wants you to be there. She could sure use your damn support," He added as he wagged his finger in her face.

"And another thing; that husband of yours has a bigger chip on his shoulder than you do. Stop letting him take away your hope because he's got none."

Saul had a point. Katya's husband had his own demons to deal with over where he came from. Alexi was hopelessly ashamed of coming from the clones of the ancient cylon Six and the infamous Doctor Baltar. When their stasis chambers were destroyed during an attack on Gamma Station Alexi had insisted it was a blessing for him, no matter what the prophecy said. He said it was just one less reminder and that it would make it easier for him to forget about his birth parents altogether. He told Katya that she would do herself a service to try and forget as well before she set herself up for great disappointment. She used to think Alexi was a cynic, but Uncle Saul was right, and at some point she had started to believe her husband's way of thinking.

"We understand your concerns, but dammit this is it Katya! This is what the prophecy is telling us needs to happen and take it from me; I've learned a thing or two about this stuff having gone through it a few hundred thousand years ago! This is what it's all about!" He went on, turning her by her shoulders to face him.

"I know what this is about," She spit back.

Saul paused in the face of Katya's obvious anger and distress. He eased his grip on her and gave her as much of a smile as he ever gave anyone.

"Ya know, when you were a little girl you would sit on my lap and ask me question after question about the two of them. You had me tell you every story I could remember about 'em until you could recite it all back to me word for word," He told her, hoping to incite her lost enthusiasm. "You can't tell me part of you doesn't want to be there today to ask them all the questions I couldn't answer for you. Ellen and I know you're afraid of their reaction to all of this. Believe me, I am too. You know I'm not too overjoyed about tearing people away from what's supposed to be their eternal resting place, but we have the means now and unfortunately we have the need…And they would want to help, Kat. They will help. Trust me. If they have any notion of what's happened here they aren't resting peacefully. They didn't go through all they did so that their people's descendants would eventually have to hover over the planet held up in a bunch of bunkers. They gave their lives for Earth. They wouldn't want its people to give up on what they worked so hard for. This has all happened before, but it doesn't have to happen again, Katya."

She was silent for a moment, trying like hell not to let the tears in her eyes slip. When she went to speak he cut her off.

"I know you're worried about them finding out what…who you are...but we don't have to deal with that right away," He said with a soft squeeze to her shoulder.

"So are you finally agreeing not to tell them?" She tested though she knew his answer.

"Of course not. You know I won't lie to the Old Man, even by omission. Doing that wouldn't be any more fair to them than anything else we're doing. We owe them at most our lives and at the very least our honesty."

Katya nodded and let out the breath she held. She already knew that he wouldn't lie. She'd wasted countless hours trying to convince him. Dozens of family meals had been ruined by shouting and tears as they fought over the topic. Ellen was the only one who had even entertained the thought, but Saul wouldn't hear of it.

"They won't want to know me," Katya sighed, turning back to the chambers. "She's going to be appalled."

Saul put his arm around Katya's shoulders and hugged her close to his side.

"Kat, you don't know that," He attempted. "And if they don't…if she is…then so be it. This is the hand you were dealt. You didn't ask for it and it's not easy, but you have to walk your own path no matter how treacherous. We can't assume how they will react, but I know the Old Man. Even after two hundred thousand years I know the man he was and I think at least hemight be more accepting than you think…eventually."

Katya rolled her eyes and huffed.

"And Kat," He went on, "You know me and Ellen...we love ya. We love you no matter what. You're our little girl and we've always loved you just like you were our own. If nothing else, you know that won't change."

At that she nodded and leaned into his embrace. As gruff as he was he had always been there for her. He had always been so sweet to her and to Ellen when no one else was around to see his boorish reputation tarnished by kind sentiments and protective hugs. When the man she had called her father was killed she was only seven years old. She was so afraid of being alone, of being just another orphan on Alpha Station without anyone to call family. Then the ancient cylon couple had shown up. Once they learned of who and what she was they had scooped her up and embraced her, never allowing her to feel alone or abandoned again. Over the past fifteen years the three of them had made a strange yet relatively loving little family and Katya was eternally grateful for them with all of their quirks and oddities.

Katya's silence made Saul squeeze her even harder.

"DNA doesn't make a family. You know that, Kat," He told her more softly than before. "But knowing someone is your blood, that's a powerful bond. I've seen it. Why do you think you've had your eyeballs glued to those tanks your whole life? Cause the Old Man's such a looker? Hell, no. They belong to you, and you belong to them...in some way."

But Katya knew that she didn't. She belonged to their copies. She belonged to their lifeless clones. She was made from two hollow shells and not by the ancient souls they would soon house. She wasn't their choice. She didn't come from their love that she had heard about all of her life. Alexi was right; he and Katya were part of a failed experiment; the bright idea, the plan B of well meaning scientists like her father and government delegates who panicked when the project wasn't going quickly enough. She would never belong to Bill Adama and Laura Roslin.

"So I'll see you at fourteen hundred then?" Saul said turning to her, straightening his posture and assuming his typical exterior once more.

"Do I really have a choice?" She asked, reluctantly facing him.

"Gods no. It's time to buck up, Captain."

With that she saluted him. He returned the gesture and turned on his heels to leave.

She looked back to the tanks, the number on the control screen rapidly counting down to their goal.

Saul stopped at the laboratory hatch and called back.

"You know we'll be there with you, Katya" He said before turning to leave.

She only half turned and nodded but she could see the tentative hope in his face. She thought for a moment that he must be as nervous as she was. He surely wasn't an optimist but this was something he had to believe would work out.

"And make sure that husband of yours is there with you. Might as well make this as awkward as possible," Saul joked as he walked out the lab hatch and outside security closed it behind him.

Once she was alone again Katya ran her fingers over the cold clammy glass of each tank trying to commit the familiar sensation to memory. She knew it would be the last time she would stand there. For a moment longer she stayed staring at each chamber wishing she had been raised to pray to deities. One all knowing all powerful God would do, or maybe even an army of strong but flawed demigods. But there was no one to pray to anymore, no higher power to look to. She sighed again letting her shoulders slump. Her father had told her once; that was what happened when you looked to gods and found them to be but men.

Chapter 2: Chapter 2

Chapter Text

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

ALPHA MED WARD

YEAR: 2315

In the end Katya had given in and prepped the bodies. She truly had not intended on doing it. She'd left the lab planning on allowing the lab staff to take care of things without her. She'd returned to her cabin hoping that the quiet of the private space would help to calm her nerves, but when an alert on her station cuff read: subjects out of stasis, suddenly the thought of anyone else prepping the bodies made her feel worse than actually giving in. She needed to make sure that they would be properly attended to. She wanted to make sure that they were modestly covered and presentable, that their nails and hair were trimmed and neat. Sydra had been right, Katya supposed. This time it really counted for something. To the scientist's congenial credit she hadn't acted surprised to see the Captain return to the lab despite her earlier protests. She had only smiled sweetly and handed Katya a new comb.

Katya stayed with the bodies all through their transport to Med Ward. The download was scheduled to take place after a briefing with military and civilian officials from all stations. Despite the classification it was expected to be anything but brief. Fortunately the press wouldn't be allowed anywhere near the event until the next day.
Once the small caravan of two occupied gurneys and minimal lab staff had arrived at their destination Katya was pleasantly surprised to find the ward sparsely populated. The few military patients who were being treated had been moved to a civilian clinic for the duration of the day. Only lab staff and medical personal buzzed busily around her in preparation, none of whom seemed to mind that she was there watching them work. They were after all, more than used to her company.

"Deep in thought, Yekaterina," A low voice gently nudged her out of her contemplative fog. Before her stood a short old man with wispy grey hair and a knowing smile.
"Dr. Xao," Katya greeted.

She was almost relieved to see him. It was his clinic and his familiar presence helped to ease her nerves as the unusual preparations continued around them.

"Today is one for warm embraces, don't you think?" The old doctor said as he hugged her without waiting for a response.

She giggled in spite of herself as the top of his head barely reached her nose. He had been her physician since she was born and she could distinctly remember the day she'd found that she had surpassed the doctor's minimal height. Ellen had taken her to Med Ward for a physical. She was just about thirteen and had lacked the tactfulness not to mention it. The good doctor had fluffed it off, joking that she must have been eating all of her vegetables. Ellen had admonished her for the comment in front of him, but when the doctor left the curtain she and Katya had laughed themselves blue in the face.
"I guess that it is," Katya said as she gave the man a squeeze in return.
"You're father would be very happy today," Dr. Xao told her as he released their embrace.

Dr. Ning Xao had been a close friend of her foster father's long before her birth. Knowing that he would be close by during the day's coming events was somewhat of a comfort.

Major Ning Xao was the chief military medical doctor aboard Alpha Station and one of the last remaining people alive who had originally started the project. Most of the others, including Katya's father had been killed during station attacks. Only Xao and one other originator were still alive.

The doctor was a strict but caring man. Katya grew up with his daughter, Tawny who now worked beside him in Med Ward as the military's only female MD. Katya enjoyed seeing them work together as a team. Tawny was a now a grown woman and had proven herself to be a fine physician. The father daughter duo worked well together.
"Yes, he would be happy," Katya agreed with a melancholy smile.
"But you are not," The doctor observed.

Katya only shrugged in response. She wasn't even remotely happy. She was close to throwing up every time she looked at the clock. She was terrified, she was anxious, and she supposed, she felt her father's absence at the event more keenly than she had expected.

"You will honor him by being here today," The doctor told her earnestly before taking her by the hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. Katya smiled and nodded at him sincere thanks. "You should go now, Yekaterina," He told her rather abruptly. "Tawny must examine the bodies once more before the briefing. You go get ready and I'll see you there."

It was more of an order than a suggestion so Katya did as she was told, reluctantly leaving the bodies to the Xaos and their capable staff.

Katya left only for a short while, returning to her quarters to freshen up and change uniforms. When she didn't find Alexi there she sent a message letting him know that she would meet him at the briefing.

She wasn't ready. Not by a long shot. She'd never been more apprehensive. She knew that if she lost her composure for even a moment she would start to sweat and shake. She couldn't allow herself to falter. She needed to at least appear as though she was prepared.

Her uniform was freshly pressed and her thick dark hair was neatly pinned back. With a glance in the mirror she lied to herself, insisting that she didn't care what kind of first impression she made on the ancient Admiral Adama. She had her own commander to make proud.

Commander Kaplan was a stoic but good man. He had commanded Alpha Station since Katya was just a young girl. He had a steely exterior on duty, but his compassion often shown through. Though only in his fifties his head didn't have a hair left on it, making his ice blue eyes the only pleasant feature he had. The commander was almost unnaturally tall and would have come off as authoritative even if he'd worked mopping the landing decks instead of commanding the entire station. He treated his men and women like a family but expected only the best from them. It was a trait that Saul often claimed Kaplan had in common with the Old Man. On her solitary walk back to the clinic Katya briefly wondered how the two men might get along. She quickly pushed the thought out of her head, once again telling herself that it didn't matter.

Upon returning to Med Ward Katya made her way to the secluded section of the clinic where the bodies were being kept. Anger quickly swelled within her as she saw that people had already started to arrive and were milling around far too close to the bodies for her liking. They were shaking hands and patting backs as if any of them truly had a thing to do with what was about to happen. Most she recognized as members of the EOC sent from Beta, Delta and Gamma Stations. Whoever they were, they weren't supposed to be there. Katya all but charged toward the small crowd of roughly six men and women.

"Katya!" Shouted a women's voice from behind her.

"Tawny, what the fuck?!" She turned and yelled at the pretty young doctor who had just called her name.
"Kat, I'm sorry! I finished up the exams and left them alone for five minutes. Sydra went to check on the machines and when she got back these people were all here. She came and got me. I just went outside to talk to the marine guards but they said that these people all have clearance," The woman explained in a slight panic.

Dr. Tawny Xao was obviously distressed herself and more than a little embarrassed that her clinic had been so quickly and easily invaded. Tawny recognized the rising anger in her friend's eyes. She needed to fix the situation before Katya's temper took over.

"I'll take care of it, Katya," She said, gesturing with her hands as if she were trying to stave off a lion ready to pounce. "Just give me a sec."

She turned and made her way to the small unwanted crowd.

"Gentlemen, ladies, I'm going to have to ask you to clear this area. You can't be here right now," She announced as firmly yet as politely as she could while trying to herd the crowd out of the general area.

When they didn't move fast enough Katya's anger surged through the roof. Seeing the two unknowing bodies exposed to so many unfamiliar eyes became suddenly abhorrent rather than simply off-putting. She couldn't stand it. She had to do something.

"Excuse me, but you're all going to have to leave the clinic, immediately!" She shouted as she came upon the group.

Katya knew that she had come off sounding more nasty than authoritative before she even saw Tawny wince but she shrugged it off. She could give a shit about the Earth Orbit Committee. They weren't supposed to be there.

"Cap, I've got this," Tawny attempted but it was no use.

"I mean it. You all need to go. Now. Right now."
"Miss," a particularly rotund man with thin reddish hair said in a rather patronizing tone, "We're here for the project download. I don't think…"

"It's Captain" She corrected cutting him off. "And you're here for the project briefing. As far as I know you have no business being over here."
"Well Captain," The man went on with a smug smile, "These are our supposed saviors are they not? As representatives of the people of Earth Orbit, don't you think we should be able to see the proverbial keys to our future?"

Tawny all but covered her eyes to hide from what was coming next. She nervously twirled her fingers through her long black hair and waited for the blow up that she knew was coming. Katya had a roaring temper and if anything was going to bring it out this was it.

"What I think, Sir is that you should get the hell out of here before I have you thrown out," Katya seethed.

The man's face turned visibly red which she found somewhat satisfying.

"This is outrageous!" The man yelled back. "We are here conducting EOC business! We won't be spoken to like this! I'm sure Commander Kaplan will be interested to know how his subordinates are treating committee members!"

Katya's fists were clenched so hard her knuckles had gonw numb. There wasn't anything the clueless man in front of her could say or do to scare or intimidate her. She just wanted him and his people far away from the unknowing bodies before them. Just as she was about to roar her heated response into the angry man's red face a deep thunderous voice sounded behind her.
"Captain Isakoff!"

Katya's name vibrated in her ears. She turned around to see her husband flanked by two other marine guards.

"Sergeant," she responded surprised.

Though she was relieved to see him she couldn't help but feel a bit annoyed knowing that she wouldn't have the satisfaction of removing the obnoxious official and his associates herself.

"I take it these men and women need an escort to the conference room," Alexi stated curtly, more to the small group of people than to his wife.

Katya looked back to the pudgy cherry-faced man and smugly nodded in response.

"If you would all please, follow my men," Alexi instructed.

With his ample height and strong features, Alexi could be quite intimidating, even out of uniform. With two other armed guards behind him the crowd didn't hesitate to head toward the clinic hatch as he'd instructed.

"Your superiors will hear about this, Captain," the man shouted over his shoulder as he walked away.

"Promise?" Katya taunted with a smirk.

The man's only response was an irritated huff.
Once the two other marine guards had ushered the crowd far enough away Alexi spoke closely into his wife's ear. "You need to calm down," He told her knowing that she wouldn't like it.

"Alexi, they were shooting the breeze right in front of…"

"I know. I'm sorry," He said cutting her off with a short but honest apology. He could only imagine how she'd felt seeing the bodies so expose and vulnerable. Despite any of Katya's apprehensions she had always been extremely protective of then. "They had the right clearance. They shouldn't have, but they did. The guards outside didn't know. I'm sorry it happened but listen; I'm putting two extra men in here right by the curtain. Okay?"
Katya gritted her teeth and stayed silent. Her anger was taking its time to fade.
"I mean it though, uspokoit'sya, Katya," Alexi went on "You have to relax. You aren't doing yourself, or anyone else any favors like this," He sternly told her.

As Katya looked up at him she had to bite her tongue to keep from answering him with an argument. Reluctantly she nodded in frustration hoping he would back off for the moment.

Alexi looked passed his wife toward the motionless bodies connected to what looked like dozens of tubes and wires. He bit his bottom lip and softly shook his head.

"I'm sorry, myshka. I'll see you at the briefing." He said walking away from her and nodding to the younger doctor Xao where she stood waiting by the clinic's central counter.

Once the ward was cleared of the unwanted visitors Katya quickly made her way beside the quiet forms within the ward beds. She covered her face with her cold tremblig hands and out a frustrated sigh.

Tawny quickly joined her side, placing a comforting hand to her shoulder.
"I'm so sorry Katya. I should have been here. It just all happened so quickly," The doctor offered.

"No, Tawny, don't apologize. It wasn't your fault. It's just...those people shouldn't have seen them like this."

Katya moved to the side of the bed where the woman's body lain tucked under the snug white sheets. Reaching over she gently pushed back a few coppery red strands of hair that had fallen over her face.

"I know this can't be easy for you," Tawny said as she watched Katya move to the other bed and nervously smooth out the sheets that covered the man's body. "That fat guy sure was a fucking asshole," She added attempting to lighten the mood.

Katya produced a small quiet laugh which Tawny considered a slight success.

"He sure was," she agreed looking back to the doctor.

"Kat, I'll be here the whole time you're in the briefing. I promise I won't leave their sides again. Besides," Tawny smirked motioning to the rest of the empty ward, "I don't have any other patients for once. Plus I'm still waiting on our big delivery from the basestar."

Katya smiled and nodded.

"I should go. I need to find Uncle Saul before this whole thing starts," The Captain decided with a glance to her wrist. Her station cuff showed it was almost time for the meeting and she had several messages that had gone unnoticed during the commotion.

Tawny glanced at her own cuff.

"My dad is already there," She confirmed. "Go on. We'll be in the same spot when you get back," She joked.

Katya thanked her friend and took one last look at the patients in question before turning to leave the ward. She wasn't sure why but she couldn't but feel as though she was saying goodbye to them for the last time, instead of getting ready to say hello for the first.

Chapter 3: Chapter 3

Chapter Text

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CONFERENCE ROOM 6

YEAR: 2315

The conference room was already starting to fill up. No one had really taken a seat yet. Instead they were clustered into small groups talking amongst themselves.

Saul impatiently checked his station cuff for what felt like the hundredth time. Where the hell was Katya?

After Alexi and his men had brought in the EOC members he had assured the Colonel that she would be right behind him. She should have already been there. Saul had sent her at least four messages, all unanswered. As he lifted his wrist to send her another a

petite manicured hand covered his station cuff blocking his view.

"Stop it Saul," Ellen told him. "She's going to show up. Trust me. If she told you she would then she will." His wife assured him.

"Yeah, well, you didn't see her this morning. She didn't look right. This has her thrown completely off. I all but had to order her to come."
Ellen gently squeezed at her husband's forearm hoping that he couldn't feel the unsteadiness of her hands. Inside she was as nervous as he was but the success of the day rested on her shoulders and she needed to appear composed.

"Can you blame her Saul? Think of how she must feel. She's scared and she's nervous and she has every right," Ellen defended. "We tried to prepare her for this her whole life, but think about it; we've had centuries to come to terms with it and she's only had twenty-two short years."

In the weeks leading up to the download Katya's behavior had been erratic. She'd recently had her twenty second birthday. Since adolescence the celebration of her birth had begun to negatively affect her mood. This year with resurrection looming ahead it had made things even worse. Though Saul and Ellen did their best to comfort and support Katya lately they had found themselves on the receiving end of her outbursts. She'd begged them countless times to keep her identity a secret. She cried and yelled when they refused. It had been years since she'd been so emotionally unstable. It hurt their hearts to see her so upset, but they couldn't change what was coming.

"She'll be alright," Saul said, mostly trying to convince himself.

"Of course she will. She's our little Katya. She's a trooper," Ellen agreed hugging on to Saul's arm and smiling up at him the way she knew could always get him to smile back, even after so many ages.

Ellen gulped down any unease that threatened to rise within her. She had to believe that Katya would be there, if for no other reason than to support her. Not only did Ellen have to lead a good portion of the briefing on her own, but most of the actual download process would be up to her as well. She was after all, the one who discovered the capability of human downloading. She and Saul had brought the technology to the people of Earth Orbit, hopeful that it would eventually help to complete the prophecy both the people of Earth and the cylons thought to be true. She certainly had a lot on her plate at the moment but deep down her biggest worry was for a far more selfish reason.

Ellen was hopeful that the first download would be a success and that they would then be able to then move on to the other clones. She was even hopeful that Bill and Laura would be able to transition to their new life smoothly. Saul was concerned about their reaction to Katya and for the sake of the poor girl who they had loved and raised for years, Ellen was as well. She knew that Saul would be happy to see Laura and the Old Man eventually connect and bond with their newly found offspring. As wrong as it was, no matter how much Ellen tried to convince herself that she too would be happy for Katya if that was the case she just didn't like the idea. She and Saul had raised her since she was just seven years old, newly orphaned and in need of love and protection. As soon as they had found out about the little girl's parentage Ellen knew that Saul wouldn't have it any other way. They'd adopted her right away. They had cared for her just like she was their own daughter and Ellen loved Katya deeply. She often fondly thought of how she used to braid her hair as a child and sing to her before bed. She remembered the times when Katya would jump into Saul's lap and she'd watch the girl's face light up as he told her stories about vipers and battlestars. Katya had become the child they never had, and even though she was now grown, married and serving at the rank of captain, she was still very much a child in many ways. She still needed them in so many ways. The thought of Laura Roslin stepping in and assuming anything close to a maternal figure made Ellen green with envy. She was aware of how self centered it was of her and how as a little girl Katya had always wanted to know her true parents, but she couldn't keep her jealousy from surfacing.
Ellen desperately clung to the hopeful assumption that the uptight and closed off Laura she once knew wouldn't be at all interested in stepping into her shoes. In truth, had Saul agreed, she would have had no problem honoring Katya's request to be kept a secret.

"There's my girl!" Ellen happily exclaimed as soon as the young woman walked into the conference room. When Katya approached them Ellen hugged her tightly and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "See, Saul, I told you she would be here," She teased, eliciting a soft chuckle from her daughter.

"Where the hell have you been?" Saul gruffly asked.

"Where the hell do you think I've been?" Katya halfheartedly challenged while trying to keep the smile on her face.

Saul knew that meant that she had prepped the bodies after all.

"Good girl," He told her with a wink.

"Are you nervous, Aunt Ellen?" Katya asked referring to her impending duty.

"I guess we all are, kitten," She answered with a sigh. "But ya know what? It'll be okay. Promise," She assured, smiling and wrinkling her nose.

Saul moved to place an arm around each of the women at his side.

"It will be," He agreed kissing one then the other on their temples.

For a moment they stood embraced in their protective little huddle, safe from the unknown future.

When the moment passed Saul leaned back and grimaced. He looked over Ellen's attire as if he'd only just noticed it.
"Good Gods Ellen, did you have to wear that?" He said wincing at the dress she'd chosen. "Now I've gotta sit here and watch half of Alpha Station and the EOC try and look up your skirt the whole damn time you're up there," He complained.

Ellen laughed and gave him a playful slap on the arm.

Katya rolled her eyes at their typical banter.

"Some things never change," she said with a smirk.

"Kat, why don't you go take your seat?" Saul suggested. "I want you between Alexi and me up front."

"Yes, Sir, Colonel, Sir," Katya teased with an over exaggerated salute before leaving to join her husband.

"She's okay," Saul said rubbing his wife's back.

"She is," Ellen said softly, watching as the girl walked away.

Neither was convinced.

Alexi was not yet seated up front. Instead he was toward the back of the room casually leaning against one of the chairs and chatting with a young man and woman in uniform. They were friends of theirs; good friends- more like family really, but Katya wasn't sure she was up for the group at the moment. With a sharp breath she gathered her composure and joined her husband's side despite her apprehension.

"Well here's Killer Kat now!" The young man standing across from Alexi greeted with a sly smile. "Heard you just bit the head off of a committee member and spit it out on the Med Ward floor."

He wore a big toothy grin and was obviously greatly amused by his own humor.

"And you're on the road to being my next victim, Blazer," Katya snidely spit back with a smirk. "Keep it up. Just try me."

The young blonde women beside him feigned a gunshot wound at the captain's sharp words .

Alexi chuckled under his breath and shook his head

"I really wouldn't test her, Blazer, not today." The sergeant warned.
"I'm scared, truly, I am," Blazer said with his hands up in mock surrender. "I just wonder what Kaplan's going to say when he finds out."

"He'll probably be relieved the guy's still standing," The blonde added, getting a laugh out of both men. "Let's face it, Katya's responsible for half the missing hair on the Commanders head."

"Thanks, Margot," Kaya said with a caustic smile.

"C'mon, Captain, lighten up," Blazer winked, his smile unaffected by Katya's irritation. "Today should be a happy day," He added.

Alexi only rolled his eyes but Blazer could always count on Katya for a comeback.

"Yeah, well let's see how happy you are when it's your turn to take your parents out of their giant fish tanks and introduce yourself," She posed.

Blazer laughed and shrugged.

"I'm looking forward to it, Koshka. Besides, what's not to love?" He said with his long arms out in a faux display.

"Is this man serious?" Alexi balked, only half feigning his annoyance.

Margot covered her mouth with her hand trying not to laugh too loud while Katya shook her head at Blazer's performance.

While Lt. Blaze "Blazer" Bishop could be a wise-cracking jackass he was also a loyal and compassionate friend. The other three knew that his current antics were at least in part to lighten the collective mood and take their minds off of the impending day ahead. With his firm features and substantial strength, he could have seemed rather menacing had he not assumed his signature goofy yet charming demeanor.

Blaze was born on Beta Station within the same year as his three companions. He'd been raised, as they each had, by a project originator; a Dr. Kyle Bishop, now dead over twelve years. Blazer was conceived by Dr. Bishop using the reproductions of a human Colonial pilot and a cylon Eight known as Karl and Athena Agathon. After Dr. Bishop's murder Blaze was sent to Gamma station to be raised with Alexi by his foster father, Dr. Mikhail Petrov. Petrov was responsible for the clones of the cylon Six they called Caprica and the Colonial doctor called Giaus Baltar. In turn he was responsible for, Alexi. Once Blaze came to live with them Petrov raised the two boys together as brothers. Blaze proved to be the perfect counter to Alexi's serious and sometimes apathetic nature. Only a few short years later Dr. Petrov was killed during an attack on the Gamma space station leaving both boys orphaned. At the request of Saul and Ellen Tigh both boys were brought to Alpha station to finish their schooling. As teens they'd lived in the petty officer's barracks with the cylon couple serving as their legal guardians. Now as an adult Blaze served with Katya as an Orbit Patrol Pilot for Alpha Station and Alexi as a marine.

"I am serious, Lex," Blaze said confidently. "I mean Tigh said that they had a kid before. He said they seemed to like her okay. Why not me?" He joked bearing his teeth and flexing a bicep in jest.

"You're ridiculous," Alexi jabbed. " You know that, Blazer?"
"Ya know, Blazer," Katya posed, her tone changing as her patience wore thin. Blaze was only trying to make her laugh but somehow it felt wrong to even smile. "that kid was their choice. Don't forget you were against their will," She reminded crossing her arms. "We all were."

Blazer's grin faltered for a split second. Had the other three not know him so well they would have missed it. He reinforced his smile and put a hand to Katya's shoulder.

"They've got no will Cap'n," He answered, matter-of-factly "At least not yet," He added before taking his hand away. "What about you, Margot?" He asked eyeing the woman who had been the only one giving into laughter during his silly performance.

"Me?"

"Yeah, you," Blazer mocked. "Do you see any other freaks at this show? I mean now that Alexi's out of the game, your turn will be coming up sooner than you think...if this whole thing works that is."

The four held a moment of strange unease before Margot could answer. Though Alexi claimed satisfaction in being rid of the bodies of his infamous would-be parents, the missing clones had everyone concerned. There was worry that the prophecy wouldn't be fulfilled without them; that the others wouldn't be enough. They were already missing another that the scientists were mysteriously never able to produce. That in itself had been the looming shadow over entire project from the start. The destruction of the Six and Baltar had been another huge blow. Their hope was placed in the ones that remained.

"I guess I don't know how I feel anymore," Margot admitted. "I mean, my Mom's still alive. I guess I don't feel like I need another one. And blood or not I've never had a father."

Margot's foster Mother, Dr. Michelle Le Blanc of Delta Station was the last remaining project originator other than Dr. Xao. She now directed the entire project with Ellen as her cylon counterpart and was also scheduled to speak during the meeting.

"You guys know I feel like I have weirder situation," Margot went on. "I'm dealing with a fill in. At least you three came from supposed couples who in theory might warm up to the idea of you based on that alone. I got the default match up," She tried to joke but technically she was right.

When it became clear that the DNA needed to produce one of Dr. Le Blanc's intended subjects was curiously not viable the suggestion came from Saul Tigh to use another in its place. Le Blanc and her team, though skeptical, went ahead with the substitute addition to the project.

Margot was the last of the four born to the cloned bodies. She was the offspring of two cylons of supposed significance; Samuel T. Anders and a Three known as D'Anna Biers. She was a sweet girl; always extremely friendly and willing to help. She had shown remarkable athletic abilities growing up, participating in many station sports. She had hoped to become a marine guard but under the watchful and sometimes demanding eye of Dr. Le Blanc, Margot was encourage to pursue a more academic career. She now worked aboard Delta, her home station, as a military communications engineer, though she visited Alpha regularly.

"You shouldn't see her as a fill in," Katya defended. "Uncle Saul says D'Anna was special. He says she saw things. I think she's supposed to be here."

Margot looked skeptical. She shrugged and gave her friend a nervous smile.

"Well whatever she is, it's going to be weird as hell to see her up and moving around. She just looks so much like me. It's been freaking me out since I was tall enough to see inside a fucking stasis chamber."

Though the young woman said it in jest it was quite remarkable how much she looked like the cylon body of the Three. Her hair was quite lighter, her grey eyes somewhat softer and the frame of her body a bit thinner but she resembled her forebearers more than any of the others did theirs.

"Speaking of the F word…" Blaze said clapping his palms together in exaggerated enthusiasm. "You want in on today's little bet we've got going, Koshka?"

"What bet?" Katya asked with a suspicious scowl.

"When they're gonna say it," Blaze said with a mischievous glint in his eyes. "C'mon Cap, I've got twenty credits on it being the first to third word out of either of their mouths."

Katya suddenly knew exactly what he was referring to.

"What? No. C'mon you jackass, this isn't a game." She turned to give her husband an accusatory look. "You're in on this too?" She asked with a shove to his arm that only served to make him smirk.

"He's got fourth to tenth," Blazer answered on behalf of Alexi.

"Blazer's idea," The marine said trying to get the focus off of himself.

"It was. So what?" Blazer confirmed. "Hey, Margot took twentieth and up. She's going down," He said playfully nudging her.

"I am not," Margot protested. "How often do you wake up cursing?" She said between giggles.

"It's just for fun, Katya," Alexi said putting his arm around the waist of his agitated spouse. "To keep our spirits up, myshka."
"Yeah Cap," Blazer prodded. "C'mon what ya' think?" Blazer prodded.

"I think someone sneezed in your test tube before you were born," Katya shot back, finally getting a hint of a frown from the young lieutenant. "Why the hell do you guys even care? You hear Saul and Ellen say it all the damn time."

"That's just it," Blazer answered. "They are the only ones who we've ever heard say it and it's been hilarious. The way the Colonel really drags it out," He added with emphasis. "It's great."

"Katya says it sometimes," Alexi threw in with a smirk.

"I do not," She protested getting more frustrated by the moment.

"Yes, you do, Yekaterina," Alexi divulged. "You know you do. You lived with the Tighs for years, you grew up around them and sometimes you slip," He stated precociously.

"I've heard her," Margot confirmed pretending to duck behind Blaze.

Katya rolled her eyes and let out an exasperated huff. "Oh, frak all three of you," She muttered, giving in with an impish smile.

"Yes!" Blazer shouted in pseudo triumph causing the other three to shush him in unison.

"Maybe we can bring it back, you guys," He attempted at a lower volume.

"Commander on deck!" Shouted a booming voice from somewhere toward the hatch.
All four snapped to attention as did most of the room.

Commander Kaplan had arrived and there was nothing else to wait for. With a return salute and quick murmur of 'as you were' the Commander made his way to the front of the room, shaking some hands along the way. Katya noticed that Ellen was already seated in the first row along with Dr. Le Blanc and Dr. Xao. She looked nervous.

"Captain, Sergeant," Saul called from their seats, motioning for Katya and Alexi to join him.

"Poydem, da'vay, Katya," Alexi whispered in his wife's ear as he softly nudged her at the small of her back.

They joined the Colonel quickly, sitting in the front row beside Ellen and the doctors.

Margot and Blaze followed taking the chairs directly behind them.

As Katya sat she quickly decided that her friends had been pleasant distraction after all. The feeling of dread was returning in full force and she felt the blood draining from her face. Saul put a comforting hand over hers and gave her another quick wink of encouragement. She was grateful for him. If nothing else Saul Tigh had always made her feel safe.

"C'mon, let's put on a brave face for Ellen," He said motioning toward the front of the room.

Katya nodded.

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"Poydem, da'vay, Katya," Alexi whispered...
(( Come on, lets go, Katya))

Chapter 4: Chapters 4

Chapter Text

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CONFERENCE ROOM 6

YEAR: 2315

Ellen's palms were sweating as she listened to Commander Kaplan's opening remarks. It was times likes these she that wished she had devoted part of the last two hundred thousand years to altering some of the more annoying aspects that made she and Saul humanoid; sweaty palms, morning breath, the jitters. Not that Saul would have gone for any of it. He was intent on staying as human as possible. She could have done something useful besides stopping the trait of physical aging that Cavil had imposed on them. She would have settled for any change in programming that would have helped her calm down, but the fact was that she had to bear her very human trait of anxiety. Only confidence, determination and a low cut dress would get her through the day.

"Today is a milestone for us all," Commander Kaplan's deep voice drummed in Ellen's ears. "It is a day of promise and of hopefulness."

Ellen thought it sort of funny that she felt so nervous. It wasn't as if she hadn't been in situations just as dire. It seemed to be her eternal circumstance. She had witnessed the destruction of her home planet. She had pioneered the recreation of cylon resurrection and traveled thousands of years to bring it to another galaxy. She had all but single-handedly ended the First Cylon War on the Twelve Colonies of Kobol by creating humanoid models for the Colonial Cylon. She did all of that only to have her creations turn on her and then have to watch it unfold all over again. The rational part of her brain told her that she should be used to it by now, but she wasn't. People were still at stake; souls were still at stake, and no matter what anyone over the eons had thought about her, she never took that lightly. Now she was at it again; on a quest that started not long after the last had ended.

Upon finding the planet they now called Earth the Colonial Fleet and its inhabitants had decided to spread out across the globe. Some went on raptor shuttles, some on foot.

In hopes of a fresh start for both the cylon and colonial races they sent their abandoned caravan of ships on a final journey toward the sun and handed over the cylon basestar to the centurions.

At first Ellen and Saul Tigh had been no exception to the global dispersion. For days they walked and set up temporary camps looking for a place to settle. Initially they stayed close to others; some Colonial human and some cylon, finding comfort in numbers. Soon as more and more settled or went off independently the Tighs one day found themselves alone. Though their surroundings were less than comfortable they found peace for a while as they spent their time focused only on each other and their survival. Social as she was Ellen missed the company of others but she couldn't help but be relieved to have her husband all to herself after all that happened between him and the Six they called Caprica. For what now only seemed like a moment in time they had been happy and content.

It didn't last.

One morning while bathing in a stream Ellen heard the distinct mechanical zoom of centurion motion. At first she had thought it to be a vivid daydream, an auditory hallucination, even the start of an involuntary projection, but when it didn't fade she turned toward the direction it had come from. On the bank of the stream were two centurion cylons. At first she froze, still unsure of what she was seeing. Looking past the sight before her an acre away from her makeshift tent was a heavy raider docked upon the grass field. She quickly looked for a sign of Saul. When she didn't see him she curbed her trepidation and strode out of the stream toward the bullet heads not bothering to cover up. What she found out upon scanning their glowing red eyes set the course for the next battle she would fight.

Not long after the centurions had taken control of the cylon basestar their hybrid began to react strangely once again. The centurions would plot a course out of the solar system only for the hybrid to jump them back immediately. It rambled and babbled a new message fraught with terror, one that warned of the story repeating once more. Realizing that they would not be able to leave the system and heeding the hybrids words the relatively primitive cylons sought out the one they knew to be their emblematic matriarch and located Ellen on the surface of Earth to ask for her help.

The decision to go with the centurions had not been an easy one for the couple to agree on. When Saul had first seen the heavy raider upon returning from gathering wood he was filled with nothing but dread. Even after learning of the explanation he wanted nothing more to do with them. Ellen wasn't sure why she was so inclined to go with them. She considered that perhaps it was an instinctive need to help her kind go on. Perhaps something more spiritual was telling her to go, or maybe she just wasn't looking forward to a life of living off the land on an alien planet without the technology and amenities she had always been surrounded by. Ellen had made up her mind, unwilling to listen to Saul's pleas. She gave him an ultimatum. Deciding that his life wasn't worth much without her, he followed. They had spent less than sixty days on the surface of Earth. Soon they found themselves on the cylon ship. While it was battered it was swiftly repairing itself and all appeared to be in working order until Saul and Ellen were brought to see the hybrid. It seemed to speak a string of erratic nonsense but they knew better than to ignore its words. Even the limited centurions had understood something was significant about the lines it had been repeating over and over.

THE ONCE LOST FLOCK WILL START A NEW. LAND WATER STILL THE CYCLE WONT END. SIN AND WAR. AN EVOLUTION OF IMPERFECTION GROWS TO POISON THE BLUE AND THE GREEN. REPEAT THE SINS OF THOSE WHO LEFT THE SEEDS. AN ANCIENT PAIR BRING HOPE IN ALCHEMY AND WISDOM.. THE BYGONE LEADERS WILL ENTER IN THE DARKEST TIME BEFORE THE FLOCK MUST FLEE THE NEST. WAITING FOR APPARITIONS IS FUTILE. THE BUILDING BLOCKS MUST BE STACKED BY HAND. A LEGACY LEFT BY THE BLOOD THAT WAS SPENT AIMS FOR THE BURNING CENTER. GO NOW. TIME IS A FLAME IN THE GRIP OF THE WIND. IF NOT RECOVERED ALL WILL BE WAYWARD LEFT UNREDEEMED. LIFE HERE BEGAN OUT THERE THEY SAID AGAIN. AGAIN. CONJURED LEADERS THE MOTHER THE FATHER THE TRAITOR A STAR A STAR RETURN FOR SALVATION OF THE LEGACY. END OF LINE

The couple sat by the hybrid's side for what must have been close to a week. The centurions saw to their needs as they listened to the message repeat. Saul grew impatient. He regretted leaving Earth and tried to convince Ellen to have the centurions take them back. He was worried that whatever was wrong with their FTL would suddenly fix itself and that the hybrid might jump them out of the solar system before they had a chance to change their minds. He had all but worn Ellen down the day she suddenly dipped her hand into the fluid surrounding the hybrid. When she did she immediately shot back as if propelled by an electric charge. Ellen could still remember opening her eyes to see Saul's face as she came to in his arms.

"I saw it Saul," Ellen had told him through tears, her throat tight and dry. "I know what we have to do." She'd insisted with quivering lips
"What did you see, Ellen?" Saul asked, holding tightly onto her trembling body.
Ellen blinked fresh hot tears and tried to swallow.

"I saw blood…and fire," She told him between strained breathy gasps and sobs. "We have to go now and we have to hurry."

When she had recovered she was sure that she knew, at least in part, what the hybrid's message was telling them to do and she understood that it was their destiny to do it. They needed to get to Galactica before it got too close to the heat of the sun.

Saul watched his wife from his seat in the briefing room as she waited for her turn to speak. He could tell that she was on edge. Dr. Le Blanc was up front holding her part of the meeting, but he couldn't focus on what she was saying. He hadn't even noticed when she'd taken the commander's place at the podium or that she'd turned on the screen capability of the wall behind her. The graphs and charts being displayed for the audience were all a blur as Saul focused on Ellen's face. He watched her, beautiful as ever and struggling like hell to appear confident and composed.
He wished that he could grab her, kiss her, and tell her that everything would be alright.
Sometimes Saul Tigh was downright sick of protocol and duty. The people of Earth Orbit needed something from them. Why couldn't they skip the administrative crap, forget the speeches and just get it done?

There were times when the responsibility of authority threatened to dive him to the brink and yet something always called him to rise to the occasion. He did it when his Earth had been destroyed. He'd done it again when he and Ellen traveled to warn the Twelve Colonies of their probable fate. He had done it once more during his service on Galactica. Now he'd been called to step up again. He'd sworn allegiance to the people of Earth Orbit and donned yet another uniform. He followed their protocol, went along with their customs and he did it all respectfully.
Saul wondered constantly if it would be the last time. He wondered if he and Ellen would get through all of it only to be pulled into the cycle once more. He wondered if he was ever going to truly die, if he would ever rest peacefully. He often swore that next time he wouldn't answer the call if it came. He swore that this time was to make sure that what he'd through with Bill Adama and the people on Galactica did not happen in vain.

Saul could still remember the last time he was on Galactica. He'd been so sure that he would never see its halls again. He thought that he had taken his last look at it as they abandoned ship and sent it to burn away into the depths of a star. He was wrong.

When Ellen recovered from her episode with the hybrid she was finally able to explain what had been revealed to her. When she first told him he'd wanted to forget all about it and let fate run its course, but Ellen was so driven. She was so enraptured by her vision that he knew he had one choice; follow her or to be without her. Ellen was sure that she understood part of the cylon hybrids message.

"We need to get their DNA, Saul," She had told him without any doubt in her eyes.

THE BUILDING BLOCKS MUST BE STACKED BY HAND. A LEGACY LEFT BY THE BLOOD THAT WAS SPENT AIMS FOR THE BURNING CENTER.

Ellen explained that the hybrid had shown her a vision. Something would eventually force the people back off of Earth and those who had brought them there would return to reclaim it for them. She didn't know when and she didn't know how but she knew that it would happen and that only the original leaders who had taken them there would save the people of Earth.

THE ONCE LEADERS WILL ENTER IN THE DARKEST TIME BEFORE THE FLOCK MUST FLEE THE NEST.

She was convinced that it was their duty to ensure the hybrid's prophecy was able to be fulfilled. She knew that no one else would or could do it.

AN ANCIENT PAIR BRING HOPE IN ALCHEMY AND WISDOM.

Ellen knew enough about human genetics from thousands of years of trying her best to mimic their characteristics. She'd made the perfect cylon form; a mechanical body almost indistinguishable from colonial human. She knew science would be the thing to bring them back when it was time, not mysticism or chance.

WAITING FOR APPARITIONS IS FUTILE. THE BUILDING BLOCKS MUST BE STACKED BY HAND

"We need to intercept Galactica and get any DNA samples that we can of anyone of prominence during the journey to Earth. We need to go now before it gets too close to the heat of the sun," Ellen had explained.

THE BLOOD THAT WAS SPENT AIMS FOR THE BURNING CENTER. GO NOW. TIME IS A FLAME IN THE GRIP OF THE WIND. IF NOT RECOVERED ALL WILL BE WAYWARD LEFT BEHIND.

Saul was unconvinced but there wasn't much he could do to stop her. By then the centurions had become very protective of Ellen. When he as much as raised his voice in a threatening manner the bullet-heads would flank her, making their guardian presence known. They would help Ellen to do whatever she needed. They had been given free will and they were choosing to do with it.

After running the calculations they found that the course that had been set for the fleet toward the sun would have taken the ships just over one hundred and fifty days at max speed. There were no jump coordinates set and unless Sam Anders suddenly had a whim to jump or change course Galactica and the fleet were at least half way there. It wouldn't be very hard to catch up with it using the basestar. Though the hybrid was impeding attempts to jump out of the solar system it didn't seem to take issue with jumps within it. The trouble was that according to their calculations the fleet was getting dangerously close to the point where the star's heat and radiation would start to wear down at the already battered ships structures. They had to go quickly before Galactica was too dangerous to jump near, let alone board.

Saul made a last ditch effort to persuade Ellen. He suggested that they return to Earth, that they make a list of people of note and try to track them down to get samples of their genetic materials. Ellen had all but laughed at the notion and she was right. They could track down the cylons on Earth but locating individual colonial humans would be a task that could take years. It was an unmapped globe and people had been dropped all over it. Galactica was their surest bet. Between Baltar's old lab and Sick Bay there was a waiting collection of samples for the taking if they could just make it there in time.

The plan was set in motion. The basestar would scan the system for the fleet and then jump to Galactica's approximate location. From there Saul and Ellen would board a heavy raider along with a few centurions and catch up to the ever moving ship. They would have to blast their way on board without control of the landing pods. Once they were aboard they had one goal. Saul would make his way to Sick Bay, Ellen to Baltar's former laboratory and they would collect any blood samples or genetic materials that they could find of those they thought the hybrid might be referring to.

Even now when Saul thought back to that day it made him squirm. Before they even docked on the battlestar they could feel the heat within the pressurized heavy raider. Once they were on Galactica they could barely stand it. Without the circulation of the ships air conditioning the ship had turned into a hot box. Though the centurions didn't feel it in the least Saul and Ellen were stifling. They were both drenched in sweat after only minutes of walking in the halls which creaked and whined as the already weakened metal of the hull below them expanded from the rising temperature. They split up, each with two centurions and planned to meet back in the CIC by Sam's tub before returning to the heavy raider. Ellen had given her husband instructions on what to look for. They were focused on a handful of humans and cylons. She told him not to waste too much time looking for any of the Sixs, Eights or Threes, if he couldn't find them. She was sure that the basestar held their genetic material in excess. His goal was to find samples from any of the final five and any humans of interest.

It was hard to breathe the ship's thick, hot humid air. When Saul got to Sick Bay he thought he might pass out. Not only was he finding it hard to take a satisfying breath in the heat but he hadn't been expecting the memories of Caprica and his little lost Liam that all but punched him in his gut upon arrival. Once he was able to clear his head he went to work. The centurions carried a small footlocker which Saul filled with abandoned test tubes, cultures and smears. When he could find nothing else that seemed of any value he left. Putting the memories behind him for a final time, he went to meet his wife. When Saul and the centurions arrived in CIC they found soaked in sweat and Ellen kneeling on the floor. She was hovering next to Sam Anders who still lay in his vat of fluid staring into nothing. He was babbling and rambling. Ellen cried silently beside him, her tears mixing with the perspiration on her face as she caressed his hairless head. It took Saul only a few moments to realize that Anders was reciting the same lines as the hybrid aboard the basestar.

AN ANCIENT PAIR BRING HOPE IN ALCHEMY AND WISDOM. PATIENCE. PATIENCE. THE BYGONE LEADERS WILL ENTER IN THE DARKEST TIME BEFORE THE FLOCK MUST FLEE THE NEST. WAITING FOR APPARITIONS IS FUTILE. THE BUILDING BLOCKS MUST BE STACKED BY HAND. A LEGACY LEFT BY THE BLOOD THAT WAS SPENT AIMS FOR THE BURNING CENTER. GO NOW. TIME IS A FLAME IN THE GRIP OF THE WIND.

"Sam, honey," Ellen had said through her tears, "it's Ellen and- I just want you to know that we hear you. We hear you and we're listening," She told him, her voice shaking as she ran her thumb over his cheek.

As Saul watched on he heard the creaks and cracks of the hull getting louder. He felt the vibrations of the straining bulkhead increasing. After one particularly loud groan within the ship he started to grow more concerned.

"Ellen, we need to get out of here now," He'd warned her.

She had nodded in agreement and leaned over to kiss Sam on the forehead.

"Goodbye, Sam. I promise we'll do all that we can," She'd said rising and moving away from him."I'll see you when the time comes."

Ellen joined her husband. The centurions that had been with her followed carrying the footlocker which she had filled in the lab with old samples from Baltar's useless Cylon Detector. Through the screeching groaning hallways they quickly made their way back to the docked heavy raider. After loading their precious cargo they headed back to solemn safety of the basestar.

Once they were back on the basestar they jumped away to a relatively safer location and took time to recover from their feat. The samples were stored away, preserved and secured as safely as possible. The hybrid had quieted and a test jump showed they were able to leave the solar system if they wanted to without it sending them straight back. They took it as a sign that they'd done the right thing.

"What in the hell to we do now, Ellen?" Saul had asked.

"Now we wait," She'd answered

They knew warnings wouldn't do. Both races had just had the biggest warning possible. Maybe the people had learned their lesson for the moment but the Tigh's knew from experience how quickly history could be lost. They would have to wait until it all started over again.

Ellen's first task after the recovery of the genetic samples was to stop the trait of physical aging. Though her vanity helped her decision, she knew that if she and Saul were to see their mission through they would need to be bodily able. They would need to permanently alter their software. With the ship's seemingly endless source of cylon information within the stream, Ellen had it figured out in less than a year. Their next task was to jump out of the system. They had to go far enough away to wait undetected yet stay close enough to keep tabs on their little burden of a planet. They wouldn't interfere until they had to.

After some years Ellen had decided they should do something about the seemingly endless waiting. She and Saul devised a way to auto-box themselves. Their bodies would be stored in altered resurrection tubs. Their consciousness would be boxed not unlike the cylons had done to D'Anna for a time. After a predetermined period had passed the stream on the basestar was set to automatically return their consciousness to their waiting bodies. Ellen and Saul did this for hundreds of years at a time, awakening now and then to check on the status of Earth. The centurions sent raiders to the solar system regularly for status reports, sometimes even breaking the Earth's orbit for a closer view. They saw society grow and spread all over the globe. They watched empires rise and crumble and rise again a thousand times over. They saw great floods and world wars. The centurions were instructed to manually stop the Thigh's auto-boxing if and when the planet seemed to be in trouble, which they did, more than a few times. Earth was a volatile place; far worse than their home planet or the Colonies had been. Though Saul and Ellen's existence left much to be desired there were times when they were happy to have never made the planet their home. It was plagued with never ending conflict. Though they had awoken many times to find Earth in turmoil they knew the calamity that they were awaiting would be a familiar one; one they had seen before. As the hybrid and Anders prophesied, it would be something that would drive the people away from the planet. As Ellen and Saul lay boxed for ages the basestar and its raiders and centurions remained ever watchful guardians.

Saul was interrupted from his internal thought when the wall behind Dr. Le Blanc changed to show a specific image. It was of the Quartz Plates;!the discovery that had alerted the people of Earth to the prophecy. They were discovered in a remote North West section of the continent formerly known as Africa in the Earth year two thousand and seventeen. A university team had found them during an archaeological dig. Though carbon dating approximated that the plates were well over one hundred and ninety thousand years old they found them to be internally etched with an almost futuristic code; the likes of which could only have been done with a laser or some such technology thought unavailable at the time of their supposed creation. The code was eventually deciphered. When run through a simple computer system it told a story. It told the story of the Twelve Colonies of Kobol and the Cylons, and it told of their journey to Earth. The story spoke of the the fleet, the dying leader, and many of the plights the people went through trying to find the planet. It even warned against the dangers of creating artificial intelligence. Most notably the story ended with the prophecy of a Colonial oracle.

"Life here began out there and the ones who led humankind to their home must return to save them when the cycle repeats once again."

The plates were originally perceived by most to be a brilliant forgery. They were mocked for years by reputable scientists and historians,inspiring only cultish followings, but when the centurions learned of their discovery during an Earth status check they knew that Saul and Ellen had to be awoken to hear the news. Just about one hundred and fifty years from the date of the plates discovery it started. Following a relatively short period of rapid technological growth and discovery the people of Earth were retreating to space stations within the planet's orbit fleeing from a new and dangerous threat made by their own hands. A slave race of robotic entities had turned on their creators. That was when Saul and Ellen decided to make contact to confirm the prophecy and offer their help.

Katya could tell that Dr. Le Blanc was nearing the end of her speech and she knew that Ellen wouldn't spend much too time on hers. The end of Ellen's words would mean it was finally time. The handful of officers and officials with clearance for the actual download would follow Ellen, Xao and Le Blac into Med Ward and the event that they had been waiting for would begin.

Katya mentally ran through a list of things that might miraculously delay them. Perhaps the fire alarm would sound, perhaps there would be a power outage, or maybe she could hold her breath until she just passed out. That ought to buy her some time, she thought. Ellen wouldn't go ahead with the download with her passed out blue on the floor. She couldn't believe how childish she was being, then again, she didn't exactly care.

"I'd like to give the floor to Ellen Tigh," Dr. Le Blanc announced. "To whom we,'the People of Earth Orbit, owe the possibility of our future. Without whom today would not be possible," The doctor affirmed. "Ellen…" Le Blanc motioned for the other woman to take her place.

As Ellen made her way to the podium Katya unconsciously held her breath. From the corner of his eye Alexi saw his wife's face turning red.

"Dyshat'," He harshly whispered forcefully elbowing her in the arm.

She let her breath out with a loud gasp earning her a glare from Saul. She quickly crossed her legs bringing her eyes to focus on the front of the room and acted as if nothing had happened. The two men exchanged perturbed glances before bringing their attention back to the front.

Ellen's smile was somewhat shaky, though only those who knew her well could see it. She licked her lips and looked to Saul for encouragement before she spoke. He winked at her and she was able to go on.

"I want to first thank Dr. Michelle Le Blanc for her kind words," She began, "They mean more than you know," She said looking over at the other woman who smiled politely and nodded.

Ellen took a deep breath and blew it out.

"When my husband and I decided to first make contact with the people of Earth not a person in this room was alive yet," She laughed gaining some small smiles from the crowd.

Ellen wasn't telling anyone in the room anything they didn't already know. Everyone in Orbit knew the story. The entire population knew now that their species was a chimera of sorts; one made from an ancient amalgamation of Earth Human, Colonial Human and Cylon. They now knew the stories from the Quartz Plates were historical accounts; ones Saul and Ellen figured had been left by a group of Cylons and, or Colonials who still had some access to the technology that was supposed to have been sent to burn in the sun; a technology lost to history soon after.

Ellen knew this story was now all common knowledge, but she also knew this would be the last time she would get to tell it. A new era in history was about to start and she felt as if her part in the story was nearing its end.

"We began by sending wireless messages that went unanswered. Your grandparents and great grandparents, as they were, seemed to be quite shocked by the idea of contact from an unknown, unearthly source. We were, in fact, alien. We knew they would be afraid. When our attempts at wireless contact didn't work, we sent our raiders into orbit, hoping to get their attention. They were shot down, time and time again." Ellen paused and swallowed hard. "We didn't stop, though. We spent over two generations trying like hell to get the people of Earth Orbit to listen and our message was always the same; We are contacting you in peace. Look to the words of the Quartz Plates. The prophecy is true. We can help." Ellen shrugged and let out a soft giggle. "I can't say that I blame those in charge who decided not to listen. It's a pretty strange message," She mused. "And it must have been terrifying to hear it from a source that many thought unfathomable." Ellen bit at her lip when she thought she felt it quiver. She quickly looked to Katya, her pride and joy, the person she hoped to give a peaceful future to the most. The girl's face could inspire her to to anything. For Katya she would move mountains, she would cross oceans. Ellen licked her lips again before continuing. "It took just over a century from our first attempt at contact; years of us watching the attacks and atrocities continue on the surface of Earth, of watching more and more of your people retreat to the Orbit space stations until only the smallest percentages were left on the planet. Then a group of young scientists and officers convinced your government to listen to what we had to say. Most of those people have lost their lives over the years to the fight, but two still stand with you today and I believe you owe them just as much gratitude as they seem to think you owe to me and my husband, because without them I'm not sure how we would have ever been able to help," Ellen affirmed giving a grateful nod to the two doctors by her side.

Le Blanc gave an appreciative smile and Xao humbly bowed his head.

"It took leaders like them to bring your forbearers to this planet so many, many thousands of years ago. They were people who dedicated their lives to a future they wouldn't see. My husband and I were fortunate enough to know those people… and we hope after today, you will be as well."

As Ellen spoke she thought back to the time before she and Saul moved to Alpha Station. Though the governing officials had started to listen to them it was a while before the Tighs thought it safe enough to come aboard an Orbit space station themselves. With the agreement that the cylon basestar would jump inside the edges of Orbit to help to protect the stations from surface attacks, regular contact and the exchange of information ensued. Once the prophecy was officially accepted by the government and Ellen was sufficiently satisfied with the level of their human cloning capabilities she and Saul made their first physical visit to Alpha Station. They took a heavy raider along with four centurion guards. Their mission was to bring the project's scientists the DNA samples personally. They did and the cloning process began. Ellen and Saul went back to the basestar with the promise of returning once she had perfected the ability of human downloading, but due to circumstance they returned before it ever happened.

Years after the bodies were first cloned the biggest attack in Orbit history occurred. When Saul and Ellen had learned that Alpha station had been breached and Dr. Isakoff had been killed they boarded Alpha for a second time. The doctor had been in charge of the cloned bodies of Bill Adama and Laura Roslin. The Tighs made the trip to the station to make sure that a suitable scientist took over the care of the precious bodies. It was then they finally learned of Katya's existence, and of the other three children.

Enraged at what the cloned bodies had been used for and concerned for the young girl's future Saul and Ellen made the space station their home. They hadn't lived anywhere except Alpha since. Though the basestar still stood guard under their leadership, Alpha had become home to the Tighs and soon, would become home to Bill Adama and Laura Roslin.


 

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"Dyshat'," He whispered forcefully elbowing her in the arm.

"Breathe"

Chapter 5: Chapter 5

Chapter Text

Chapter 5: Chapter 5

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

MED WARD

YEAR: 2315

When they arrived in Med Ward everything had already been set up. Centurions had delivered Ellen's two altered resurrection tubs from the basestar and Tawny and her staff had already situated the bodies within them according to plan. They each lay unmoving except for the mechanical rise and fall of their chests due to their ventilators. The slick milky fluid in each vat was filled just below their shoulders. Katya was relieved for the bit of modestly it provided Laura's would-be body. Centered between the two tubs stood a small waist high pedestal that Katya could tell had also come from the basestar. Its top looked like a shallow pan-like structure filled with similar Cylon fluid. The base of the pedestal was transparent and seemed to filter the conductive fluid that Saul and Ellen called ‘the stream’. The structure protruded with several wires on each side, some of which seemed grossly organic. A few were sleek and chrome-like. Others were blue, purple and pulsating like arteries, their ends all disappearing beneath the fluid within each tub.

Ellen's creation made Katya' stomach lurch. The Tighs had explained the complexities of Cylon mechanical organics to her many times over the years but she still couldn't get used to it. The sight before her was in such stark contrast to the sleek, sterile, crystal clear fluid of the stasis chambers. Within the chambers the bodies needed no tubes and no respirators. There the bodies seemed at peace. Their peace was over, Katya supposed, at least for now.

Ellen and the project team had matured the bodies in stasis to approximately match their last known apparent ages. Saul and Ellen were able to help the staff choose a good stopping point for Bill and Laura's awaiting bodies. Though the aging wasn't exactly necessary, they figured that it would be less jarring for each of them if they returned to their bodies looking as closely to how they had left them as possible They were sure about Laura. The last time they had seen her she was fading away. They were positive that she'd died soon after. Ellen was less certain about Bill. They had no real way of knowing how long he’d survived after they’d last seen him, but Saul seemed confident in choosing his friend's stopping point. He suspected that Bill hadn't held on for very long after losing Laura. He remembered the time she had gone missing on the Cylon basestar. Bill had parked himself out in the middle of space all alone on a raptor and waited for Laura or certain death to come find him. Saul was relatively sure that when Bill had finally put Laura to rest he wasn't far behind her.

The Tighs were able to offer the same courtesy of a familiar body to Athena, Anders and D'Anna; and would have done so for Caprica too, had her body survived. They knew approximately when Anders died and the Threes, Sixes and the Eights would have never aged. Unfortunately they wouldn't be able to offer Helo the same comfort. Ellen and Saul had no way of knowing how long he had lived after they'd said goodbye to him for the last time. They'd gone to Beta Station and directed the lab staff to physically age him close to Athena, the way they had last seen him, and just hope that he could cope. Had Baltar's body still been available they would have had to do the same with him.

Katya stood with Alexi watching as Saul and Ellen spoke to one another in hushed tones by the pedestal where Ellen would soon take her place.

"This is so fucked up," Alexi whispered to his wife.

"Thanks. That makes me feel a lot better," Katya returned.

Her face felt hot but she could feel herself shaking as if she were freezing.

"I'm sorry, Katya, but it is. What the hell is that thing?" He asked referring to the grotesque pedestal.

"That's it. That's Ellen's…creation," She said chewing on her thumb nail as she watched Tawny take her place by the woman's submerged body.

"Are we sure she wasn't drunk when she made that thing?" Alexi asked, his eyes uncharacteristically expressive in their revulsion for the device.

"I wouldn't bet on it. It is Aunt Ellen," Katya darkly mused.

She watched as Dr. Le Blanc took her place next to the man's body. Dr. Xao took up his post behind her and Sydra behind Tawny to provide assistance when needed.

Alexi looked over his shoulder to find Margot and Blaze standing with the Commander. Margot's gaze was focused on her mother, but Blazer looked as white as a sheet as he gawked at the Cylon contraption.

"Not so funny now is it, L.T.?" Alexi called back at his friend.

Blazer slowly shook his head, unable to take his eyes off of the sight in front of him. Commander Kaplan glanced at Alexi giving him a lukewarm warning to be quiet.

There was no one else in the ward except for a few extra medics and some staff from the lab who were on standby. Everyone else who had been invited to the initial briefing had been given the option to leave and wait for word or to say in the conference room and await official in-person confirmation of success. Filled with excitement, hope and curiosity most had opted to stay and wait.

With his focus back on his wife Alexi took the hand that Katya wasn't currently chewing the nails off of.

"It'll be okay, myshka," He attempted, though he wasn't sure that he believed it.

Katya tried to appear grateful for his words but she was sure that she was failing miserably.

"Kat," Ellen suddenly called from the center of the room.

She motioned for the younger woman to join her.

Katya shook her head in defiance, not wanting to step too close to the creepy new cylon devices. She was worried that they were going to try and persuade her to stand with them during the download; something she wasn't up for.

"Just get over here, Katya," Saul ordered, annoyed by her stubbornness.

"Just for a second," Ellen added with a reassuring smile .

Alexi nudged Katya lightly and she started toward the older couple.

As she walked closer she couldn't help but look inside the tubs. Stopping in front of Ellen and Saul, her focus was stuck on the woman's vacant form sheathed within the fluid. Katya's mouth hung open in a mix of horror and awe.

"Sweetie," Ellen called to get her attention. "Kitten?" She continued with no success.

" Captain ," Saul barked.

Katya's focus snapped to attention.

"Sorry," She said as her eyes started to water.

"Baby, it's okay." Ellen quickly moved to hug her. "Look, we just called you over here to tell you that we love you," She said giving the girl a tight squeeze. "And that no matter what happens we'll get through it together as a family. Isn't that right, Saul?" She asked prompting her husband.

"Damn straight it is," He concurred as he reached out to embrace both women.

Katya couldn't help but be touched. She loved them both as much as she had ever loved her foster father. Sometimes she considered that she loved them even more. They'd been with her for most of her life. They'd seen her through so much. Saul had provided her with the safety, compassion and stability of a dedicated father and Ellen had given her an endless maternal love that knew no bounds. Katya trusted that no matter what happened with her so called birth parents she would always have the Tighs. They weren't perfect, but they were her's.

"It'll be alright, kit, you just hang tough," Saul asserted, giving Katya a quick peck on the temple and then straightening his posture.

Katya nodded and flicked away a tear that had escaped her the corner of her eye. She glanced back at the woman's tub.

"Aunt Ellen?"

"Yes, kitten," Ellen said sniffling back the emotion of the moment.

"When…when she wakes up, will you make sure she's, you know, covered?"

Ellen smiled at the younger woman's sweet concern. She was surprised that the jealousy which Katya's sentiment toward her birth mother would normally inspire seemed to be absent. She considered that perhaps she was too nervous for envy at the moment.

"I got it covered, baby," She promised with a wink.

Katya nodded. She cleared her throat and tried to take Saul's lead in reasserting a composed militant exterior.

"Thanks, Auntie. The last thing I need is Blazer making any stupid assenine comments about her. He makes enough about you as it is."

The jesting remark earned a typically flirty laugh from Ellen but Saul scowled in Blaze's direction.

Saul cared for Blaze but had little patience for the young lieutenant's signature goofy disposition. He couldn't help but be amused by the current level of fright on the pilot's usually impish face. The boy was more than stunned over Ellen's cylon engineering and Saul suspected that he was probably thinking of his own birth parents' coming download. With a grimace Saul returned his focus to his little family.

"We love you, kit. It'll be fine. You get back over to Lex," Saul instructed.

Katya obeyed, leaving them with a salute that Saul returned as Ellen blew her a kiss. She returned to the relatively safe distance and comfort of her husband's side.

"You okay?" Alexi asked taking his wife's hand.

Looking back at Saul and Ellen she shrugged then nodded.

Ellen cleared her throat gaining the attention of the handful of attendants. Saul took his place at her back as she centered herself behind the download pedestal.

"I guess- if the doctors and their staff are ready we can begin," Ellen stated.

"Whenever you're ready, Mrs. Tigh," Dr. Xao answered on his staff's behalf.

"Yes, we're ready when you are," Dr. Le Blanc confirmed. "I just want to make sure that everyone is clear. Once we remove the ventilators we are on the clock. If they aren't conscious and breathing on their own within three minutes we intubate them again, no matter what, understood?" Le Blanc said sternly.

As the lab and medical staff acknowledged her instructions Ellen gulped down the giant knot that had developed within her throat.

"I’d like to say something before we start…" She said hesitantly. She looked to the bodies in the tubs and then back over the small gathering of staff and officers. "I want to say that...the reason we are able to do this…the reason that I have found makes this possible, is that we all go home to the same place when we die. All of us. Our souls…these precious passengers that take up residence in our bodies; they eventually all go to the same point of existence. They live at the same frequency of vibration and there they receive their retribution or their reward…be they Colonial, Cylon or Earthling. Our souls are the same and when they are shed of our bodies they hold no difference from one another." She paused for a moment, carefully contemplating her next words. "And I think…that going forward...it's important that we all keep that in mind."

Whether or not the small crowd understood her reasoning she had to say it. Though she was on their side and would help them to the end, she knew that if the cycle was ever going to stop then her message needed to be learned. Though the enemy force from the surface seemed evil and hell bent on destroying them she had seen firsthand, now too many times, the ways of thinking that had led to it.

"Go on, Ellen," Saul whispered in encouragement behind her.

Ellen nodded to Tawny, then to Dr. Le Blanc. Each doctor moved to lean toward their respective patients; Tawny and Sydra by Roslin’s body, Le Blanc and Xao by Adama’s. 

"Begin to remove intubation on my count," Le Blanc instructed.

Katya held tightly to Alexi and even the Commander had one sturdy hand on Blazer's shoulder and the other on Margot's back.

"Three…two…go," The doctor ended.

As she disconnected the ventilator and started to slide the endotracheal tube from Bill's throat, Tawny mirrored her actions with Laura.

"All clear!" Tawny shouted.

" Go, Ellen!" Le Blanc yelled.

Ellen's palms were in the small pool of the pedestal's fluid before Le Blanc could finish saying her name. She shut her eyes tightly and tried to clear her mind.

It felt right.

Her hands were tingling, prickling like pins and needles. She just needed to concentrate; Laura to her right, Bill to her left.

"Two and a half minute mark, Ellen," Le Blanc shouted the reminder.

Ellen tried to block the doctor's voice out along with the beeping and chirping of the machines around them. She knew that focusing on the time crunch wouldn't help matters.

In the front of the room Katya was squeezing the life out of Alexi's hand, but she couldn't seem to ease her grip. He would have marks from where her nails had dug into his flesh once it was all over. Her stomach cramped and she could feel herself breaking out into a cold sweat as her eyes darted from Ellen, to the tubs and back again.

" Ninety seconds, " Le Blanc called out.

Xao was ready behind her with an oxygen mask. Sydra did the same beside Tawny.

Ellen could tell that Le Blanc had just given her another time warning, though she hadn't heard much more than a muffled interruption. Her ears crackled and buzzed with a static that ran from the tips of her fingers to the top of her skull. She had it, she was there; tapped into the space where she needed to be. What she needed now was memory, no, she needed two, separate from each other. She had to think, but the electric humming was so loud.

"Sixty seconds, Ellen!" Le Blanc yelled out.

They were cutting it close. If they went over the three minute mark they couldn't guarantee that there wouldn't be brain damage to both bodies.

Ellen could taste electricity in her mouth. It reminded her of the smell of the rain on Caprica during a thunderstorm. Caprica…Caprica City…the bar where she’d first met Bill Adama.

Saul was on shore leave. He said that he had someone he wanted her to meet. When she first shook Bill's hand he seemed like a real drag. He seemed like he didn't approve of her.

" Dr. Le Blanc," Tawny called out by Laura's body, " Her blood oxygen level is crashing fast!"

" Ellen!" Le Blanc shouted " Thirty seconds! "

Ellen shook her head trying to keep her train of thought.

Bill had been cold at first, but she didn't care. She smiled all night, cracked jokes and made sure that his drink was always full. By the time the three of them left the bar he was calling her sweetie.

A loud strained gasp came from Ellen's left side, but she couldn't looking and lose her focus.

It was Bill. He'd come to.

 

“We’ve got him!” Le Blanc announced as she placed the oxygen mask over his face.

It worked, Elle. Bill’s awake ,” Saul said before rushing over to Bill’s side leaving his wife to the rest of her work. 

" Dr. Le Blanc, we really need to intubate her!" Tawny yelled from the other side of the room.

Laura, Laura, Dammit, Ellen thought. Did she have to ruin this? Was she always such a stick in the mud? Mud...mud…New Caprica…before the Cylons took over. Ellen remembered. She and Saul were visiting from Galactica. She had gone out for a walk one night alone when she couldn't sleep. Saul had been snoring and she wasn't used to sleeping under a glorified tarp. On her walk she'd passed Laura's tent just as the other woman stepped outside for some air. Ellen had stopped, surprised to see her up at the odd hour. She'd noticed Bill's boots by the flap of the tent right away. He’d made the trip down to the planet with them as he'd often done before the occupation. He always claimed that he was going in order to check on the progress of infrastructure, but Ellen and Saul knew he was going to see Laura Roslin. Ellen had snickered at the sight of the man's shoes outside of the tent, cocked her head and smiled slyly at the former president turned school teacher.

' Made him stay after class and bang the erasers, did ya?' She'd teased.

To her surprise Laura chuckled and nodded.

" Something like that," She'd answered before Ellen winked at her and walked away.

It was as amicable an interaction as they'd ever had.

Another gasp to Ellen's right finally snapped her out of the zone.

" Got her!" Tawny shouted as she quickly grabbed the oxygen mask that Sydra held out for her and placed it over the woman's face.

Ellen rushed over to Laura's side when she saw that Saul was already with Bill.

Katya watched in horror as both bodies heaved for air. When she heard the hoarse muffled grumblings coming from Bill's tub her horror intensified.

" Keep him still!" Le Blanc yelled as the man struggled to move in the tub.

Saul moved behind his friend's head and tried his best to hold his shoulders still within the slippery fluid as Xao and Le Blanc attempted to take the man's vitals. Bill's hand came up from beneath slick substance and reached toward the mask that covered his mouth. He managed to pull it down and into the goo before Saul could stop him.

He choked out a string of strained noises that could have been words, but Saul couldn't be certain. The Colonel moved to where he was sure that Bill could see his face.

" Bill , Bill, it's me, Saul. It's Saul Tigh. I know you're confused right now, Old Man, but you've gotta stay still . You're okay , you're alive and ya gotta trust me," Saul tried. When he attempted to place the mask back on to the terrified man's face an angry hand came back out from under the cylon fluid grabbing Saul's wrist and yanking it into the tub with a sudden force of rage. Saul's body was pulled forward and he and Bill were suddenly face to face. Bill's fist held the Colonel's arm with an unexpectedly powerful grip. The Old Man's eyes bulged and his teeth gritted.

" Laura…Where the frak, is Laura? " He hissed into Saul's very startled face.

Before Saul could answer a low strained voice came from the right.

" Bill?" Laura called out as loud as she could manage while she too struggled to pull off her own O2 mask. " Bill ?" She tried again before starting to choke and cough on her words.

Her body was suddenly wracked with hacks and heaves as the fluid of the tub sloshed around her.

"Laura, keep still honey," Ellen tried to calm the startled women. "You have to try and take deep breaths."

She tried to hold Laura's shoulders steady as the slippery bottom of the tub proved a hazardous environment for an uncontrollable coughing fit.

The cylon solution spilled over the sides and onto the Med Ward floor as Laura's heaving made waves within the tub.

Upon hearing Laura's voice and her subsequent wheezing struggle for air Bill had become more erratic; fighting like hell to get his bearings and attempting to sit up within the tub. The constant electric current that the stasis chamber’s fluid conducted had kept his muscles toned and strong. He had yet to let go of Saul's arm.

" Bill, Bill, she's okay, I promise you. Ellen's with her! Ya gotta let go, Bill so I can get you out of here and over to her," Saul tried to reason.

Bill just snarled in response tightening his grip around Saul's wrist.

The machines that were now monitoring their blood pressure and heart rates were sounding with alarm as they picked up on the panicked state of both bodies.

Dr. Le Blanc reached into the tub and tried to loosen the patient's hold on the Colonel. The fluid splashed as they all toiled beneath its surface. It was no use. The slick matter and its cloudy appearance made it hard for Le Blanc to see or maneuver. She didn't have enough strength in her hands. The older and smaller Dr. Xao was hardly in any physical shape to assist.

" Alexi!" Le Blanc called over to the Sergeant. " I need your help, " The doctor shouted.

"Me?" The young marine asked in shock over the current display in front of him.

" I need you to try and get his hand off of Colonel Tigh!" She affirmed.

"You want me to put my hand in there ?" He asked stunned and disgusted.

" Just get over here and do it Godsdammit!" Tigh yelled, obviously straining in the position his old friend had him in.

Alexi left his terrified wife's side and rushed over. Kneeling beside the Colonel he winced and reluctantly plunged his arms into the tub. Amidst the splashing goo he did his best to locate the man's trapped wrist.

Rushing to move out of their way Dr. Le Blanc slipped on some of the cylon gel that now dangerously slicked the ward's floor. She collided with a nearby surgical tray which joined her on the ground with a clattering crash.

" Mom!" Margot yelled out as she rushed to help her mother.

 

Ellen badly wanted to go to her husband's side but she couldn't bring herself to leave Laura until her breathing was under control. The poor woman continued to cough and gasp for air and Ellen could do little other than attempt to comfort her as Tawny and Sydra worked to improve her breathing.

Katya felt like she was going insane. How could it be going so terribly? Then again, what had she actually expected?

" That's it!" Xao yelled taking command of the room. " I'm sedating them!" He announced as he moved to retrieve a syringe pistol from the prep counter. " Do it, Tawny! Kuài yīdiǎn!" He called to his daughter who immediately went to work prepping her own instrument. " She won't be able to breathe if she can't calm down."

" But, they just woke up! " Le Blanc argued as she got back on her feet. " We can't just put them to sleep now," She tried to persuade; obviously distressed with the turn her project had taken.

"What good will it do you, Michelle, if they kill themselves before we can even get them out of the tubs?" Xao shot back at his colleague.

" Ellen?!" Le Blanc looked to her in hopes of an ally but Ellen shook her head as she struggled to hold the oxygen mask over Laura's wheezing gasps.

"Mom, c'mon this is nuts!" Margot tried to convince her mother who was still shaking her head in either defiance or disbelief. " Please, Mom!"

" Do it!" Commander Kaplan's baritone broke through the chaos. The doctors all looked at him. "That's an order," He confirmed. "Go ahead, Major," He directed at Dr. Xao.

With that Xao leaned over Bill Adama putting the small pistol device to his neck and quickly injecting him. His patient's grip went lax before his eyes closed and he succumbed to a drug induced sleep. Only then were Saul and Alexi free of their slimy struggle.

Tawny followed with a shot to Laura's neck. The woman quieted and within moments her breathing took on a steady though still raspy rhythm.

The room calmed as the beeps and ticks of the monitors slowed and the shouting ceased.

Everyone stood in silence for a long moment as the situation sank in. No one seemed to want to speak first.

"Well, I think that went about as well as we could have expected," The Commander finally facetiously remarked.

"Holy shit," Blazer gawked earning him a few glares.

Margot left her mother for Katya's stunned side doing her best to support her friend's seemingly unsteady stance.

"Are you okay, Kat?" She asked as the other young woman just looked at her with wide horrified eyes.

"Look," Tawny began, hoping to appease the room, "It worked…That was awful…but it worked. They're back and from the looks of it they are both stable."

The doctor was right. Despite the ordeal that had followed it, Ellen Tigh had just successfully downloaded Laura Roslin's and Bill Adama's consciousness into their cloned bodies.

"I think what needs to happen now…" Tawny continued diplomatically, "…is for my staff to get them up and out of this…stuff, get them cleaned up and into some warm beds. My father and I can evaluate them more precisely once that's done. They will be asleep for a while with what we just gave them. It will give us all some time to clear our heads and…clean up," She finished looking around at her sticky surroundings.

"I agree, Doctor," The Commander affirmed. "This was not ideal but it was, for all that it's worth, a success."

" They were terrified," Saul barked to no one in particular as Alexi helped him off of his knees.

"But they're alive, Colonel," Kaplan asserted. "Now, I'm going back to the conference room to state just that and only that to everyone who is waiting to hear. Dr. Le Blanc, if you're up to it, I'd appreciate if you'd get cleaned up and make a follow up statement. I'll announce your impending arrival when I get there. Minimal details only," He added. "Lt. Bishop, if you'll join me," He motioned to Blaze who still stood mouth agape. "Sergeant Petrov, once the word is out we'll be in need of extra security. I'd like you to wash up, quick as possible and alert your platoon."

"Yes, Sir," Alexi firmly replied.

"Colonel and Mrs. Tigh," Kaplan continued. "I trust you'll stay close by in case they come to. I suggest you both take this time to consider a plan for their second…awakening."

Ellen and Saul each meagerly nodded at Kaplan's suggestion.

With a curt nod the Commander turned on his heels and left. Blazer followed, all the while looking over his shoulder in disbelief until the cleared the doors.

Once Tawny grouped with her father and Dr. Le Blanc to go over a plan for the extraction and evaluation the support staff went to work cleaning the mess.

Ellen was finally able to join her husband's side. She forcefully embraced him letting out a few quiet sobs into his shoulder.

"You did it Elle," Saul said rubbing her back with his still coated hands and forearms.

" Oh Saul, that was a disaster," She cried into his tunic.

"It would have been a disaster if it hadn't worked. It did . You said you would do it and you did. We'll figure out the rest later," He assured, kissing the top of her head.

As he kissed his wife he peered over to where Katya was standing. Alexi had gone to her and Margot still stood close by seemingly supporting half of her friend's weight.

"Dammit," Saul mumbled into Ellen's hair.

"What?"

"Maybe we shouldn't have made her come after all," He said looking over at the distraught young woman.

Ellen turned to see Margot and Alexi fussing over Katya who looked like she was about to snap like a twig. She quickly made her way over to the three officers. Saul followed.

"Katya, sweetie," Ellen said reaching out to take her hand but Katya snatched it away.

" You didn't tell me it would be like this!" The younger woman seethed in reaction.

Ellen was slightly startled by the anger in her voice but she didn't blame her.

"Baby, we couldn't have known," Ellen tried to explain.

" Don't baby me, Aunt Ellen, " She spat back in tears. " Those poor people don't know where the hell they are, or what the hell they are! They were terrified, " She cried.

"Katya, come on now," Saul started. "That's not Ellen's fault. It's no one's fault. We couldn't predict…"

" Couldn't predict?! Eto prosto pizdets!" She swore in frustration.

" Katya, stoy havatit!" Alexi scolded grabbing her arm but she tore it away from him.

"I need to get the hell out of here," She said, shaking her head and rushing off out of the ward.

"Katya wait! Kitten, come back!" Ellen called after her.

Her heart hurt for the poor girl. She hated to see her so upset.

"Let her go, Ellen," Saul sighed, taking her hand.

Ellen blinked back tears.

"Now what?" Alexi asked in frustration. "I can't go after her. I need to report to duty."

"You just…go on, son," Saul said, still looking at the hatch Katya had just run through. "Just let her be for now. She'll be alright...eventually."

Alexi nodded and reluctantly left to get to work.

"I can go after her," Margot offered. "Unless there's some kind of communications emergency on Delta I'm here until my mom decides to head back, which by the looks of it won't be for a while."

"Maybe that's a good idea," Ellen said wiping at her eyes. "Saul and I need to stay close by in case they wake up and I have a feeling we would just upset her anyway. I don't want her to be on her own,"

"Maybe she needs to be alone Ellen," Saul glowered. "The girl's gotta toughen up. This is just the beginning."

" Toughen up? " Ellen balked. "Saul, the poor girl has grown up knowing that she was the product of and ill advised and failed experiment. She overcame it and forged on. She watched the only father she ever knew die a horrible death and she coped and accepted us as her parents. Now she goes to work, flies around inner Orbit into frakking combat zones, gets shot at half the time and then comes home and asks me ' what's for dinner?'' as if it’s no big deal. How much more do you want her to toughen up? I think she's more than entitled to react to what she's just witnessed," Ellen defended.

It wasn't as if she hadn't been hurt by the direction of Katya's anger, she just knew Katya was hurting even more.

"Well she didn't have to take it out on you," Saul scowled

"She didn't mean it, Colonel," Margot offered. She understood what was going on in Katya's mind better than anyone else there possibly could. After witnessing what had just transpired any glimmer of anticipation that Margot held over her own parents' download was now extinguished.

Overhearing the less than subtle family dysfunction Dr. Le Blanc made her way over to where the Tighs and her daughter were huddled.

"May I offer a suggestion?" She interrupted.

"Not if you're going to criticize my parenting skills," Saul answered.

Dr. Le Blanc ignored him and smiled at her daughter.

"Margot, perhaps once you find Katya and she's calmed a bit you can take her to the quarters that have been set up for our new guests," The doctor proposed.

Saul almost interjected with another snide remark. These weren't their guest, he internally fumed. These were their saviors and there was nothing new about them. To add to it all they were, at least for the time being, there against their will. Guests hardly described them but he held is tongue.

"I know that Katya and the Tighs have worked hard to make sure that the cabin is ready for them. Maybe Katya would like to give it a once over and add some finishing touches? It might be a good way to remind her that this bump in the road will pass," The doctor suggested.

"That's not a bad idea, Mom," Margot nodded.

She supposed that maybe it would do them both some good to picture Roslin and Adama eventually living aboard willingly and comfortably.

"Good then," Her mother smiled. "Katya has clearance to the cabin on her station cuff, I assume?" She asked the Tighs.

Ellen nodded.

"We will message you girls if anything changes," The doctor added. "For now just see if you can't get her to cool down," She encouraged her daughter.

"Yes, Ma'am," The young woman answered trying to sound confident in her given task.

Dr. Le Blanc smiled at her daughter.

"You'll excuse me. I have to borrow some dry scrubs from the Xoas and change before I deal with awaiting crowd back in the conference room," She said as she turned to leave.

"Good luck, Mom," Margot bid her.

When she was gone Ellen let out a heavy sigh.

"I'm sorry, Margot," She said with a sad smile. "I'm sorry you had to see all of this. I'm just so sorry, honey."

"It's okay, Elle. We knew it was coming sooner or later,” Margot shrugged. “We'll be...fine. Kat will be fine. I'm just gunna hustle and try to catch up to her if that's okay?"

Ellen nodded.

"Good luck to you, Specialist," Saul added with a hint of cynicism.

"And good luck to you, Colonel," Margot said earnestly looking at him and then back to the people who now rested soundly in the tubs behind them.

 

Chapter 6: Chapter 6

Chapter Text

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR C, MILITARY LATRINE 4

YEAR: 2315

Margot quickly caught up with Katya. She'd found her in the nearest latrine splashing water on her face. She'd offered the other woman a hug and they both cried softly for a moment, ignoring any others who came in and out.

"Katya," Margot started and she gently rubbed at her friend's back, "I won't tell you that everything is going to be okay, partially because I know you're damn sick of hearing it, but mostly because I don't know that it will be," She said honestly. "No one does. And I think you are perfectly entitled to freak out. I sure as hell would have flipped had that been my turn, and now…now I'm dreading my turn," She admitted.

Katya pulled away and turned to look into the mirror above the sink.

"I'm sensing a 'but', coming Margot," Katya dead panned.

Margot smirked and nodded.

"But…I will tell you that I know that we don't have much choice other than to just press on. Maybe that sounds harsh but there is no way out of this for us, Katya. We have been entrenched in this madness since before we were born. And yes, that makes me angry. It makes me angry all the fucking time but what can we do? We can try to run and hide and take our frustrations out on the people that care about us, or we can confront this and accept it, and continue to do our best to help. Even if this does nothing for us personally but cause us grief, we need to at least remember that it's all for a greater purpose...and Katya…you know that's all we were ever really meant to serve," Margot said with a shrug.

"Damn, this is the shittiest pep talk ever, Margot." Katya jested with a roll of her eyes.

Margot sighed as she went to the sink and turned the water on full blast.

"I'm not trying to pep you up, Katya," She said as she began to wash her hands. "I'm only encouraging you to keep doing what you have been doing your entire life," Margot explained before shutting off the water, running her damp hands through her hair and then wiping them on her slacks. "Now let's go. You and I are supposed to go and finish prepping their quarters."

"What?" Katya scowled. "No. I don't want to go there right now. Who the hell told you we needed to do that?"

"The Colonel, Ellen, my mother, who else? C'mon, Kat. Let's just go. This is what I'm talking about. So, okay right now your birth parents are in a drug induced sleep due to their hellacious reaction to the download. We can't do shit about that. On the other hand, it's very likely that they will wake up and eventually need a place to stay, right? If we can do anything to make that part easier for them and for everyone involved well, then that's what we should do. Now, I'm going. Your station cuff has clearance to get in and since I'm taking your arm with me, I suggest the rest of you come along with it," Margot said with a smile.

Katya let out an exasperated huff.

"I guess there are some crates of clothes we can put away," She surrendered.

"Wonderful," Margot said playfully tugging at her friend's wrist.

They left the latrine and headed for the cabin.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

MED WARD

YEAR: 2315

Xao and Tawny finally had their patients sleeping comfortably in ward beds. Centurions from the basestar had come to collect the resurrection tubs quickly and the Xaos were glad to be rid of them. Roslin and Adama had been cleaned of any leftover Cylon residue and cleared of any lasting physical damage. Things had become calm enough for both doctors to attend to other minimal tasks within the clinic.

Le Blanc had yet to return from the conference room so Saul and Ellen sat by the beds themselves in waiting silence. They had only been able to towel off from the tumultuous download and they sat in the sterile cold of the clinic uncomfortably chilly and sticky. The curtain had been drawn closed in the area they were in allowing for some sense of privacy. Ellen sat perched by Laura's feet while Saul occupied a chair between the two beds. He looked back and forth at both of their faces and frowned.

"You know Ellen, now looking at them, I don't know that we aged them enough," He proposed.

Ellen shrugged.

"I think they look fine."

"I dunno," Saul countered. "Bill looks alright...close enough at least. I think you missed the mark on Laura."

"I did not."

"I think you're off a good five years."

"She's fine," Ellen argued as she assessed Laura's appearance. "Besides their age is relative. Looks close enough to me."

"I guess," Saul said with a sigh.

"You know, Saul, we had to take their lives before into account," Ellen began to justify. "I mean, their new bodies have been mostly inanimate since their creation. These bodies haven't seen a day's work or dealt with any stress. They haven't ever fought in a war or gotten sick. It's natural…well...I mean it's logical that these bodies would appear less weathered, have fewer lines, no scars. I don't think we are off by much. Besides, I doubt they'll mind," She said rolling her eyes.

Sydra walked through the curtain holding two small foil packages in one hand and a programmer in the other. She hesitated to speak as neither Saul nor Ellen seemed to notice that she had entered. She cleared her throat, finally gaining their attention.

"I have their station cuffs. Is this bad time? I'm supposed to get the programmer back to Network Control by seventeen hundred. Plus I should get back to the lab," She said holding up the contents of her hand.

"Go right on ahead, Doctor," Saul instructed. "Better do it now before they wake up. If I know Bill Adama, asking him to agree to wear one would be asking for a fight," He said as the doctor nodded and opened the first vacuum sealed pack.

As Sydra worked by Bill's side, locking the cuff around his wrist and activating it with the programmer Saul watched on. His friend looked different. He looked more polished, not as hard. He had seen the body plenty of times in stasis but somehow Saul had figured that whatever character that had been missing from Bill's face would return when he did. When Sydra moved to fit Laura for her cuff Saul's eyes followed looking over at the sleeping woman. He had always thought she was good looking, especially when her mouth was shut and she wasn't busy bossing the Admiral around. Now she was missing some of the little creases around her eyes. Her frown lines were softer than he remembered Her skin was brighter too. She looked rested. Ellen probably hadn't been as far of the mark with her ageing as he'd implied, but something else was different. Saul thought for a moment. He wondered if he could really remember what Laura had looked like at a time when she wasn't sick, in pain and fighting through it. New Caprica came to mind but even then, they were all malnourished, exhausted and afraid. He considered that perhaps he was just seeing Laura Roslin healthy for the first time.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 126B: ASSIGNMENT; ROSLIN/ADAMA

YEAR: 2315

The cabin was similar to Saul and Ellen's but it was missing the extra bedroom. It looked more like the quarters that Katya and Alexi had recently been assigned. It was the type of assignment that married officers without children were given; big enough for two, small enough to go crazy. The living space was sparsely furnished with a sofa, a narrow coffee table, a desk and chair. The wall facing the sofa had screen capabilities for access to the network or any data display. The only head was back in the bedroom. There was a small kitchenette that was more like a glorified wet bar with a tiny dinner table and two seats. In-cabin meal preparation was discouraged on all stations even for civilians.

The bedroom was toward the back of the cabin and its rack was fit for two. Margot was busily fitting it with clean sheets and blankets. Opposite of the bed stood a wardrobe. Katya sat on the floor in front of it folding clothes from a bin and placing them neatly into the drawers.

After the last blanket was tucked in on the bed Margot flopped herself onto the mattress and stretched out on top of it.

"Hmmph. I wish my rack was half as nice as this. I'm sick of Delta's officer's quarters," She complained, snuggling her face against a pillow.

"You could move back in with your mother," Katya suggested as she folded a blouse.

"Pass," Margot said with a roll of her eyes.

"You could get married, and get assigned a real cabin," Katya dryly suggested.

"Double pass," Margot announced emphatically. She nuzzled the new sheets as she watched Katya go about her folding. "Where did you get all those clothes anyway?" She asked.

Katya shrugged.

"Some are Ellen's, some are mine. Things we thought might fit her," She said as she folded another of Laura's new sweaters. "The rest I had printed new. I took their measurements the last time they were out of stasis for chamber maintenance. None of Uncle Saul's or Alexi's things would have fit Adama so most of his things are new. You know, Aunt Ellen told me that during their trip to Earth there really weren't any 3D printers or Bio Printers available on the ships. She said she spent like three years wearing the same four outfits over and over and cosmetics just ran out of existence. I mean I sure as hell wouldn't care. If we're not in uniform we're in tanks and sweats, but for civvies I guess it would suck," Katya explained.

"Sure would," Margot agreed.
Despite her outward apprehension of the download Katya had made a great effort in helping Saul and Ellen make sure there was a home waiting for Bill and Laura aboard Alpha Station. She had spent the last few months collecting clothes and shoes. She put her own credits toward ordering cosmetics and other toiletries from the civilian labs; things she knew the pair had gone without for the last years of their lives. Alexi had been recruited to rearrange the minimal furniture twice over and Katya even took it upon herself to purchase and display some artwork to give the cabin some character. It had become her little pet project. She'd been dreading their arrival and yet simultaneously planning for every detail of it.
"I have this pile left. The stuff in the head is already put away," Katya said as she worked.

"Wow, you really did go out of your way to get things ready didn't you?" Margot sounded both impressed and surprised. "And here I was getting on your ass. I haven't done anything like this yet. Should I be? I mean I honestly didn't even think about it," She considered, leaning up on her elbows.

"I'm sure your Mom's staff will probably prepare quarters for Sam and D'Anna," Katya suggested while rolling a pair of mens socks.

"I guess," Margot said with a sigh. "I mean my mom never even suggested that I help with any of that and it just never occurred to me to ask about where they were going to stay and what they were going to need." She paused and bit her lip in thought. "Does that make me an asshole?" She asked, only half kidding.

Katya smiled and shook her head.

"No Margot. You're not an asshole. You're the last person I would ever call an asshole. I bet you Blazer hasn't done anything like this either," Katya assured her.

"Did you just try and convince me that I haven't been an asshole by comparing me to Blazer?" Margot feigned a look of confusion before both girls broke into laughter.

"Look," Katya began, "I think it's just because…your Mom didn't know them. I mean, they're her whole life's work, they're everything to her…besides you," Katya added, "But she never knew who Sam or D'Anna once were so she's fine with whatever basic necessities are provided for them by her capable staff. Ellen and Saul, they knew Bill and Laura. For Uncle Saul, Bill Adama was like family. He wanted us to prepare their quarters ourselves because he and Elle just have a better idea of what they might want or need and they want to provide it for them. The Tighs have spoken so much about them over the years I grew up feeling like I knew them too in some way," Katya explained.

"I'm not sure if that makes me feel better or worse. I wouldn't know where to start and I have no one to ask," Margot said sitting up on the rack.

"If it makes you feel better maybe you can get a little something for each of them. Ask Uncle Saul. He didn't know D'Anna that well but he might have a suggestion about Anders. Anyways, I don't know how you're concerned about that when you've just witnessed the type of psychotic breakdown they are likely to suffer once they download," Katya said shoving a sweater into a drawer and slamming it shut.

"Katya, you don't know that they had a psychotic breakdown and you don't know that will happen with the others. We just have to wait and see," Margot replied swinging her long legs off of the bed. "Besides, what happened in Med Ward was kind of… romantic, in way," She added.

"Romantic?! What show were you watching?" Katya balked, looking at her friend as if she were insane.

"Yeah, romantic," Margot nodded. "He woke up searching for her. She woke up calling his name. They were so utterly desperate to find each other. I mean, wherever they were, that place where Ellen said our souls go, they must have been so completely entwined there, that to wake up and feel that the other was missing was just too much to bear," She said dreamily. "I want a love like that."

"Get real! He woke up enraged. She woke up choking and terrified. They were going nuts! That's all that happened," Katya responded.

"Well, that's not all that I saw happen. Wouldn't you feel like that if you were taken away from Alexi?" Margot posed.

Katya rolled her eyes.

"Ugh! Never mind!" Margot said feigning disgust. "You and Lex are worse than a couple of bots," The blonde scoffed. "You really were made for each other," She mocked as she stood up to pace around the small room.

On top of the wardrobe Margot saw two white rectangular items. They were strange and looked a little out of place. Picking one up she noticed that it wasn't a solid block as it had first seemed to be.

"Kat, what is this? I've never seen so much paper!" She said thumbing the unusual stack of bound pages and fanning them in her face.

"It's a book," Katya replied looking up from where she sat on the floor.

Margot looked perplexed.

"I mean...I guess I know it's a book. I'm not sure I've ever seen one in person though," She said flipping through the papers.

"I hadn't either but I got two of them printed."

"Why?" Margot asked putting one bound stack down and picking up the other.

"Because they liked to read," Katya answered as she stood up to take the book from her friend and place it back on the dresser.

"So what? So do you, but every novel, story or journal known to man is available on the network. Who would want a big stack of paper?" Margot asked picking one of them back up and opening it down the center. "It smells weird," She said crinkling her nose.

Katya possessively grabbed it again and then put it back in place.

"I know," She said with a frown. "I think it's the ink. And I did it because this is how they used to read. I guess it was something they had in common that they liked to share and the Admiral had lots of books in his quarters. I thought maybe they would at least like to have one or two stories the way they used to. Uncle Saul said the Admiral liked mysteries but he didn't know what kind she liked so I just had two printed that I thought they might enjoy…It's stupid, I know. They can't even function without freaking out right now. I'm not sure why I thought they would be kicking back and reading. I don't know what I was thinking," Katya said staring at the two plain texts.

"Aw, Katya that's sweet," Margot said with a saccharine smile, though she did mean it.

"Shut up, Margot."

"No, it is. It's so cute. You are a softie after all aren't you?" Margot teased leaning in to give her friend a hug which Katya stubbornly turned away from.

"Stop, Margot," Katya warned trying not to smile.

"C'mere, mon petit chaton," Margot teased grabbing on to Katya and hugging her against her will. "Meow, meow, Koshka"

"Get off me," Katya playfully whined.

Just then both women felt their station cuffs vibrate creating a simultaneous buzzing sound in the room.

Margot froze and Katya stilled within her arms. They had spent their time in the cabin with an unspoken suspense in the air. Both had anticipated being summoned back to the ward eventually but neither knew when they might get news on the status of their would-be-saviors.

"I don't want to look," Katya winced.

Margot took a deep breath and let her friend out of the frozen hug.

"I'll do it," Margot offered.

Katya bit her tongue hard as she waited.

"Looks like the Tighs want you back in Med Ward," Margot announced as she read the small message that projected over her wrist.

"What? Why?" Katya grimaced.

"Because," Her friend said as she continued to read the note, "They still have that sticky shit all over them and they want you to bring clean clothes," She finished with a grin.

Katya's relief only lasted for a moment. She really wasn't ready to go back.

"I'm a trained pilot and they have me acting like a pack mule," She complained.

"Well you're on leave this week, Captain. You're not a pilot right now. And remember what I said; we only live to serve," Margot shrugged.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

Med Ward

YEAR: 2315

Before Bill fully awoke he felt a burning pain deep within his throat. The pain was how he knew he was alive.

Saul and Ellen had been sitting there for what felt like forever. At some point Ellen had switched to a chair beside Laura's bed. Soon after in her exhaustion, she had leaned forward and rested her head on the ward mattress and nodded off. Saul stayed seated by Bill's side but didn't sleep. He couldn't. He was too busy going over how to approach them when they woke up. Xao had at least assured them that a repeat performance of the day's earlier turmoil was unlikely. The sedation they were given would leave them relatively placated even after they woke up, at least for a while.

Saul felt awful about how the download had gone. Bill had been truly frightened and it had come out in the form of rage. Whether it was from his confusion and concern about Laura, or because he had just been forcefully dragged into the world of the living, Saul didn't know. He just knew that he felt guilty and he understood now that Katya's reaction had probably stemmed from guilt as well as fear. They were doing this for the future of so many souls, but right now it seemed like the two souls within the ward beds would suffer for that future and it just wasn't fair. They had after all, already lived a life devoted to the salvation of others. Now they would be asked to do it again and Saul knew he would be the one to have to convince them that it was their fate. He wondered how he would be able to explain why they should bother to help a world and a people they never really lived to know. For once he thought he might be grateful to hold Katya's identity in his back pocket. If they wouldn't do it for an entire race of people, maybe they would do it for the sake of their daughter.

Lost in thought Saul was surprised when he looked up and saw Bill's heavy eyes blinking. Saul leaned over to nudge Ellen awake. She sat up in alarm and he quickly put a finger to his lips directing her to keep silent as he motioned toward Bill. Ellen quickly realized that Bill was awake. She could see his eyes moving and his breathing had become less patterned.

"Go," She whispered encouraging Saul to move closer.

Saul rose slowly and quietly made his way to the opposite side of the bed so that he could talk to Bill but still easily look to Ellen for encouragement. Stepping closer he looked down upon the face of his old friend. Bill Adama, the Old Man.

Bill stared back. For a moment Saul couldn't help but smirk as he saw the unmistakable ultramarine blue of Bill's eyes. For so many years he had seen them when he looked at Katya. When she was little he'd called them her 'Adama Blues'. She'd always gotten a kick out of it. He'd tell her that she had two brothers long ago who had them as well, that it was a family trait. It had been so long since Saul had seen them on anyone but her. In this existence at least, they had been uniquely Katya's. It was almost funny to see them on somebody else.

Saul looked back at Ellen and she nodded silently prompting him to say something.

Letting out a deep breath Saul made sure that he had Bill's attention and spoke in a low voice.

"Don't speak," He instructed the other man. "You had a tube down your throat most of the day and you already strained your voice but good," He went on. "The soreness and burning will go away in a day or so as long as you don't push it," He explained. "Now, I want to talk to you for a moment, and I want you to do your best to nod if you understand. Got it?" Saul asked.

Bill's jaw tensed but after a pause he nodded slowly. Saul glanced to Ellen to see her reaction. She motioned for him to keep going.

"Do you know who you are?" Saul tested.

Bill nodded.

"Do you know who I am?" Saul asked, fearing the answer.

Bill took a deep breath and nodded slowly. Saul couldn't help the smile that came to his face.

"That's good," He said grinning at the Admiral. "I'm glad of that. Very glad. Now I know you don't know where you are. I'm going to help you with that soon, Bill. But…" Saul hesitated, "Bill, you understand that you're alive?"

Bill closed his eyes for a moment. He was confused. He knew that he was alive now, but he also knew that he hadn't been before, not for a while. He remembered dying and then he remembered a peaceful state of existence; somewhere he knew very well yet couldn't recall the details of. The more he tried to remember the further it got from him. Only the knowledge that he had been happy there was for certain. He opened his eyes to see Saul awaiting his answer and he nodded.

"Alright," Saul affirmed. "And you know that before today…"

Bill nodded with a low groan before he could finish.

"Well, we're ahead of the game after all," Saul tried to muse.

Bill took another deep breath that stung his lungs. He swallowed painfully before he spoke.

"Laura," He whispered.

Saul didn't bother to admonish him for attempting to talk softly.

"She's here too, Bill. She's right here, over to your left. Ellen's been sitting with her all day," Saul assured.

Bill did his best to move his still stiff neck to glance toward his left side but it was a struggle.

"I'm going to get you over to her in just a second, Bill I promise," Saul affirmed.

Bill couldn't quite turn his neck to see her. He was stiff. His body felt strange. It didn't feel sick or weak as he last remembered it being. It just felt tense and unfamiliar. Frustrated that he couldn't move to see Laura, his eyes shot back to Saul. Ellen got up to move closer but Saul put out a hand to halt her for the time being.

"Don't worry, Old Man, I'll get you to her. She's perfectly healthy and so are you for that matter," Saul informed him.

Bill grunted in frustration and Saul watched as he seemed to ponder something.

"Family?" He mouthed.

"No, Bill. The boys aren't here," Saul answered. "It's just you and Laura, for now."

Bill wasn't sure if he was any less confused than when he had first woken. Wherever he had been before, he knew his family had been with him in some way. His heart sunk to know that was no longer the case.

"Where?" Bill rasped looking around the room for emphasis.

Saul looked at Ellen and she nodded.

"You remember getting to that last planet, don't you, Bill? On Galactica? The blue one with all the wildlife, the one we called Earth?" Saul posed.

Bill nodded again.

"Well right now we are orbiting that planet."

Saul stopped himself before he got into too many details. He wasn't sure how much information Bill could take at the moment.

Bill winced looking at Saul in frustration and shook his head.

"Why?" He whispered looking somewhat desperate.

Saul felt for his friend. He'd always known that explaining Bill's new reality was going to be tough. HeMd had years and years to plan and still it was a struggle.

"Well, Bill that's not an easy question to answer," Saul said rubbing his chin, "I'm going to answer it for you the best that I can soon, but for now…now I'll just tell you that, well, we need your help."

Saul and Ellen didn't want to bombard Bill with too many more questions and they knew calling Le Blanc back in to Med Ward so soon would be a bit much. They wanted to pace Bill's interaction with new people as much as possible. Still, they knew they needed to call Tawny or Xao in to examine him. The father and daughter team were far more gentile in their bedside manner than Le Blanc and her lab staff. They would help make sure that Bill was close by Laura when she woke up.

Once Saul had given Bill a few minutes to process what he had just explained he decided to try an interaction with Ellen.

"Bill," Saul started, getting his groggy friend's attention. "You remember Ellen, my wife, don't you?"

Bill rolled his eyes, showing a glimpse of minimal humor. Saul laughed.

"Yeah, that's my Ellen," He said waving her over. "She's here and she wants to say hello. Is that alright?"

Bill nodded and Ellen made her way to Saul's side. Bill looked up at her and she smiled and let her tears fall. She reached for his hand and held it gently.

"Oh, Bill, it's so good to see you," Ellen said as she wiped her eyes."We've missed you so much."

Bill's eyes softened at her reaction. Despite her faults they'd been friends once.

"Bill, I want to take you over to Laura," Ellen started. "She's still sleeping and I think it would be best if you were with her when she woke up. Don't you agree?"

Bill nodded as emphatically as his stiff neck would allow. He could see Laura beside him only if he strained, and even then it was from the corner of his eye. He had to make sure that it was really her.

"I know things seem strange now," Saul interjected. "And I'm sure that you are probably overwhelmed, but I'm asking you to put your trust in Ellen and me, at least for right now. Can you do that Bill?"

Bill had never had a reason not to trust Saul Tigh. He hoped that he could trust him now, wherever they were. And besides, what choice did he have? He nodded to both of them.

"Thank you Bill, that means a lot to me, to Ellen too," Saul told him. "I want to bring in two people. Doctors. They are friends of ours. Just to do a quick exam and maybe check that throat of yours. I think with their help we can get your bed situated closer to Laura's and then we can talk while we wait for her to wake up," Saul proposed.

"How's that sound?" Ellen smiled.

If it meant he would get to Laura sooner, Bill was all for it. He agreed and Ellen left to quietly alert the Xaos.

Chapter 7: Chapter 7

Chapter Text

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

MED WARD

YEAR: 2315

When Ellen first brought in the doctors Saul had done his best to keep Bill calm.

"Bill, this is Dr. Ning Xao and is daughter Dr. Tawny Xao," He introduced.

The younger doctor placed her gentle hand on Bill's arm and smiled. "Dr. Xao, is my father, Tawny is just fine for future reference and I just want to say ,Sir, that it's an honor to meet you," Tawny said with a look in her eyes that confused Bill almost as much as what she had said. She obviously knew who he was, but what the great honor was he couldn't be sure. He did his best to nod pleasantly. All he wanted to do was get to Laura.

"It certainly is a pleasure to have you with us," The senior Dr. Xao confirmed. "Do you mind?" He'd asked Bill," Taking a digital stethoscope-like device to the man's chest. Bill hadn't bothered to answer.

After checking the monitor's display Xao seemed satisfied and excused himself promising to return. "My daughter will take it from here, but I'll be in to check on you shortly."

As Xao left the curtain Ellen followed him.

"What do ya say Bill?" Saul encouraged as Tawny smiled warmly by his side. "Why don't ya let the pretty young doctor put her hands on ya before Laura wakes up?" He tried to tease earning a grimace from Bill and an eye roll from Tawny.

"I promise this will only take a moment, Sir," Tawny added. "And if you'd like I can give you something for that sore throat?" She offered sweetly. Bill agreed without protest.

When Saul heard some muffled mumblings behind the curtain he excused himself and promised he would be back just as soon as the doctor was through. Beyond the curtain Saul found Xao and Ellen arguing in whispered tones.

"What's going on?" He asked.

"Oh, Saul, will you please tell the doctor not to call Michelle Le Blanc just yet? I'm trying to explain to him that we have to do our best not agitate them. Besides, Laura's not even awake yet," Ellen said in an exasperated but hushed voice.

"Mrs. Tigh, you more than anyone should understand the work Dr. Le Blanc has put into this. She should be alerted," Xao argued.

"Now, listen here Doc," Saul started in, "You saw just as we all did what went on earlier. You were the one that finally put a stop to it. You can't tell me that you don't believe their mental status is paramount," He said appealing to the doctor's sensibility.

"Certainly it is, but as head of this project Michelle deserves to be alerted of any changes," Xao defended his colleague's position.

"Doctor, I agree, but you know her," Ellen appealed. "She's very…determined, very eager. This is a very delicate situation and Saul and I have thought about this a lot since the download. We don't want anyone else in the room when Laura Roslin wakes up. Please believe me that it's best. We need the same time with her that we had with Mr. Adama. Please, Doctor Xao?"

Xao looked skeptical. His bedside manner and training told him that the Tighs were right but his sense of duty to the project and to his only remaining partner told him otherwise. He stared Saul down, or up, in his case, maintaining a stern unwavering appearance as he internally debated is options.

"Major, if I have to get a military order from Kaplan himself I'll do it," Saul affirmed. "Please remember that these are people in there and that they aren't your experiments any longer."

Xao was somewhat insulted by Saul's threat of going above his head but in the end his common sense and compassion had won out. He knew his daughter would be on the Tigh's side and he would have to take up with her as well if he went against their wishes. Michelle Le Blanc had been exhausted after the arduous day. After her announcement and the following question and answer period the commander had offered her a place to relax in visitor's quarters. She had taken him up on the gesture intending to rest for a while. She messaged Dr. Xao with explicit instructions to alert her of any changes. Xao would let her rest just a little bit longer, he rationalized.

"When I hear that the woman is awake," Dr. Xao started, "Dr. Le Blanc will be notified," He said turning to walk away.

It was a small victory, but they'd take it.

"Thank you, Dr. Xao," Ellen called back.

The doctor didn't turn around. "I'll send a medic in to arrange the beds for your friend," Xao said with his back toward them as he walked across the ward to his office. A short time after, Bill's bed was moved up against Laura's and their monitors were adjusted to fit around them. Tawny had a medic take the rails off of both beds and raise Bill up into a sitting position. Now he was able to reach Laura's hand and see her face as she slept. The Tighs sat close by watching the pair and waiting for Laura to wake.

Tawny had explained that her respiratory spasm had probably taken a lot out of her and it was most likely the cause for her prolonged sleep.

Ellen was shivering in the cold clinic. She hadn't expected Katya to answer their request for some dry clothes but she'd asked Saul to give it a shot and message her and Margot anyway. Now that Bill was awake she was considering going to their quarters to fetch some herself but she hesitated to leave Saul. If Laura woke up he'd be dealing with the two of them alone.

At first Bill just stroked the top of Laura's hand and watched her sleep. He was relieved to be next to her, to see and feel that she was truly with him. He was concerned about what he would say to her when she woke up. There was so much he didn't know.

Looking at Saul and Ellen Bill gestured toward himself and Laura. "How?" He asked with a perturbed scowl. The Tighs looked at each other as if they both figured the other would have the answer. They both looked back at Bill and he winced.

"Cylon?" Bill asked with fear in his eyes.

Saul couldn't help but break into a low chuckle. "No Bill, no you're not a Cylon. Sorry, Old Man, you're still not in the club," He joked. Saul saw the stern look on Bill's face and cleared his throat regaining a more serious expression. "But that is how we brought you back, Bill, how Ellen brought you back that is. Cylon technology. You remember it don't you Bill? How Cylons could download into new bodies? Well it's sort of like that, only we didn't use a resurrection ship. Ellen just found a way to tap into…well, the biggest resurrection ship of all I suppose you could call it."

Saul almost immediately regretted the amount of information he had just given Bill. How was the poor man supposed to process all of that? Saul was scrambled for a way to back track. He needed something to say to ease the blow of his last explanation but Bill spoke before he could manage to come up with anything good enough.

"Bodies?" Was all that Bill said in return.

Saul looked to Ellen and this time and she took a turn.

"Well Bill, we had to make you a new one," She tried to explain lightly. "Your body was cloned. It was made using your own DNA. It's exactly the same as the one you had before. Laura's too. It's just that you weren't occupying it until today when we downloaded your consciousness into it…and here you are," She added with a short lived smile. She hoped he had understood at least some of what she had just said. They had cloning in the Twelve Colonies but human cloning had been banned for years before the exodus. It had never reached the level of advancement that it had on Earth.

Bill was stunned. He was overwhelmed and the pain in his throat started to intensify as he held back frustrated tears. His instinct was to lash out in anger but he knew that he had to stay calm and get as much information as possible before Laura woke up. He went over what he knew so far in attempt to make some sense of it all. Saul had said they were orbiting Earth, second Earth, the planet where he and Laura had lead their people and taken their last breaths. He knew that they were alive and he knew Ellen Tigh and her Cylon technology had made that happen. And now he knew that the bodies they were in were not the ones they had before. How could they be? They had both died in those bodies; her's ravaged from disease and his surrendered to the elements in grief. These bodies were new. He looked over at Laura. It looked like her original body. She was beautiful and she looked healthier and more serene than he had ever seen her, maybe a tad younger too. But how was this possible? He remembered the decision to abandon Colonial technology. He knew his ship and his fleet along with any modern conveniences had been sent into the sun. His people had started their new lives on the planet rather primitively. Bill scanned his surroundings. This clinic certainly didn't look like it belonged to Cylons. It was far less advanced and streamlined than the Cylon basestars he had encountered, yet it was far more advanced than anything Colonials had when they settled on the planet. Something wasn't adding up. With a sudden pit in his stomach a thought occurred to Bill. He looked up at Saul peering into the man's single eye.

"How long?" Bill husked.

Saul felt the blood drain from his face and he felt Ellen squeeze his arm. He knew Bill wanted to know how long he and Laura had been dead. He and Ellen both knew the answer was going to be near incomprehensible for him.

"How long?" Bill asked hoarsely and a little louder as the beeps of his heart monitor increased slightly in their succession.

"Well, Bill," Saul started, "I really don't want to throw numbers at you right now. What's important right now…"

"Tell me," Bill said through gritted teeth.

Ellen shook her head in surrender. "Just tell him Saul, he's getting upset anyway."

Saul took a deep breath.

"Well Old Man, you were gone for approximately 200,000 years."

Bill's eyes all but bugged out of his head. This was madness. He could hear his blood drumming in his ears and feel his heart pounding in his chest. What the hell was this?

Before he could truly begin to react he heard a soft noise beside him. Bill and Ellen had heard it too and they shot up out of their chairs. It was a small subtle hum that turned into a few halting coughs. Laura Roslin was waking up.

In the end it hadn't been as bad as Ellen had feared. It helped that Bill was beside Laura as she woke. Ellen supposed that waking up in the arms of the one you loved was probably the ideal way to go in this type of situation. Laura had been scared, groggy and beyond disoriented but after an initial bout of her sobbing into Bill's arms Saul and Ellen had eventually been able to assess her much as they had done with Bill. It was somewhat easier now that they had him to help. Ellen was grateful that he had been the first to wake up. She knew it would never have gone as well if the opposite had occurred. It was strange for Ellen to see Laura so rattled in the beginning. The woman had been known for her confidence and her steely will. In her time she had tossed men out of airlocks, spurred mutinies and all but led the Admiral around by his stones for four years straight as far as Ellen was concerned. But, her demeanor when she first woke on Alpha was different. It somewhat reminded Ellen of the time she had gone to see her in Galactica's brig. Laura had been delirious and out of her mind from withdrawals at that point. It was the most vulnerable that Ellen had ever seen her. Thankfully, despite Laura's initial reaction it hadn't taken the ex-president very long to compose herself with Bill's help. After the initial shock had started to subside Ellen felt better about Laura's state of mind. She and Saul had decided to give the other couple some time alone. They used that time to alert Tawny and soon brought her in to examine Laura. They excused themselves once more to allow the doctor to perform the exam. When Tawny exited the curtains she let the Tighs know that she'd now have to alert her father to the fact that Laura was awake and that he would mostly likely be calling for Dr. Le Blanc shortly. The Tighs weren't looking forward to Le Blanc's return but there wasn't much they could do.

When Saul and Ellen returned they sat beside the beds and did their best to answer Laura's questions one by one just as they had done with Bill.

Laura's eyes were rimmed red and her chest muscles ached from her earlier episode but her voice, though a gravely version of itself, was in surprisingly better shape than Bill's. Like Bill she couldn't exactly remember where she had been before, but she knew that she had been blissfully happy there. The longing to return was strong and even though she was with Bill she couldn't help but yearn to go back to wherever she had come from. It felt like waking up too early from a pleasant dream and no matter how hard she tried she couldn't get back to sleep.

"But your bodies weren't cloned," Laura had observed at one point, focusing in on Saul's eye patch. It was then that she'd noticed that her own vision was perfect without the aid of glasses.

"No you're right Laura," Ellen confirmed.

"Then how the hell are you two here?" Bill said as loudly as he could muster.

"Well, it's a long story…" Ellen started.

Katya had procrastinated enough. She had retrieved her aunt and uncle's clothes and was childishly taking her precious time getting to them. She had taken every complicated rout she could think of to Med Ward. She skipped tram ways and walked, she used stairs in place of elevators and she was generally going as slow as she could without tripping over her own feet. She even stopped in two different latrines. In one she actually used the head. In the other she'd just stopped in front of a mirror to let her hair down, justifying that a long day of having her heavy locks pinned up was adding to an already horrid headache. Somewhere along the walk from the Tigh's cabin to Med Ward Margot had left her side to find her mother in the visitor's quarters so Katya had made most of the trip alone. She hadn't heard from Saul or Ellen since they'd requested the dry clothing. She felt bad for letting them sit there in a chilly clinic covered in goo but it had taken her some time to find Saul's replacement tunic. Now she had finally run out of obstacles. She was at the Med Ward hatch and she supposed she should just drop the clothes off as quickly as possible and get home to wait for Alexi. She should apologize to Ellen too, she decided as she made her way through the hatch. She wondered if the Tighs would sleep in the ward tonight as they waited. Maybe she should have brought them something to eat, she considered as Tawny caught her attention.

Tawny waved and smiled from across the clinic when she saw Katya enter. The young doctor figured that the Tighs had called her to come down. It never occurred to her that she hadn't gotten the news yet. Distracted by a voice call on her station cuff Tawny didn't think to ask. Katya became irritated at Tawny's cheerful greeting. Where the hell was she finding the will to smile after the day they had all had? As Katya passed by Tawny covered her cuff to muffle her voice from whoever she was speaking to. .

"Right in there," She whispered gesturing toward the closed curtain.

Katya half nodded. She left the busy woman to her call and made her way toward the enclosure. She hesitated for only a second before opening the divider. She wasnt sure she was ready to see the bodies again. With a deep breath she urged herself to continue. She would just drop the clothes off, give Ellen a quick kiss on the cheek then get back to her quarters and inside her rack to end the miserable day.

"What I don't understand is why?" Laura posed.

"We're going to explain that to you soon," Ellen answered, "We just want you to rest for tonight,"

Before Laura could respond a voice came from behind the curtain.

"Uncle Saul, Aunt Ellen, I have your clothes," Katya called as she gripped the curtain and pulled it back. Her eyes were downcast on the bundle she held.

"Katya," Ellen said in surprise springing out of her seat.

The younger woman thumbed through the material folded in her arms.

"Sorry, Uncle Saul but I didn't iron your slacks. Why don't you ever hang up your damn…" Katya stopped in her tracks as she looked up from the contents of her hands. The neatly folded stack promptly fell to the floor as Katya's jaw did the same.

"Shit," Ellen said under hear breath as she stood rushing to the girl's side. Saul shot up out of his chair but stopped himself from rushing over as well.

Katya couldn't feel her face. In fact she couldn't feel anything. It was like an out of body experience, the irony of which was lost to her in the moment. The two bodies to which she owed her genetic makeup, the two bodies she had cared for all of her life, the ones she'd spent countless hours watching hang lifeless in laboratory tanks, were now very alive, very awake and they were staring right at her.

Ellen ignored the clothes that had fallen on the floor and put a protective arm around the stunned young woman. Saul cleared his throat which snapped Katya's eyes toward his but her mouth remained open.

"It's alright baby," Ellen whispered into her ear.

"Laura Roslin, William Adama, I'd like you to meet Captain Yekaterina Isakoff," Saul announced with forced confidence.

Katya's eyes widened as he said her name.

Saul continued, "She's..."

"She's ours," Ellen interrupted, finishing Saul's sentence.

Saul squinted at his wife.

"She's yours?" Bill rasped, looking to Saul, then to Ellen and finally back to the young woman who appeared as if she'd just seen a ghost.

"Yes," Ellen said with a smile as she hugged on to Katya even tighter. "She's…well, we adopted her years ago when she was just a little one, didn't we Saul?" Ellen said looking to her husband for confirmation.

Katya's mouth closed as she watched her uncle and awaited his answer.

"Yes, yes we did." Saul said clearing his throat and looking back at Bill. "As I was going to say, she's an Orbit Patrol Pilot for the station I've told you we're aboard, but Ellen's right she's also our little girl," He said with a small and somehow solemn smile.

For now, Saul thought, that had to be enough of the truth.

"Well, then, it's good to meet you Captain Isakoff," Bill said looking right at her with a nod.

"Katya," She corrected.

It was all she could manage to say. It was all that would come out.

"Katya," Laura repeated with a tentative smile as she looked into the girls eyes. There was something about them, Laura thought. They were striking and almost familiar.

The sound of her own name coming out of the woman's mouth sent a chill down Katya's spine and the way she was looking at her was making it even worse. This woman had unknowingly given birth to her over twenty years ago and Katya had been trying imagine her voice for almost as long. She'd even imagined the woman calling her name thousands and thousands of times but she'd never dreamed that actually hearing it would be so unsettling. She tried to make herself look away from Laura but she couldn't. She felt stuck.

Saul cleared his throat again. Like a beacon the familiar sound brought Katya back to attention. She shook her head trying to clear her mind.

"Sorry," She said quickly. "It's an honor, to meet both you of you," She managed to get out as her eyes began to well and her face surged with heat.

Voices suddenly sounded from behind the curtain interrupting the strange meeting.

"Why wasn't I informed?!" Dr. Le Blanc's voice came from somewhere in the ward.

"Michelle, calm yourself," Xao sounded after her.

"Dr. Le Blanc, you were resting and we made the decision to wait until they were both awake to message you," Tawny's voice followed.

"Mom, just settle down, We're here!" Margot followed.

Bill and Laura looked alarmed at the commotion. Saul and Ellen looked at one another as if bracing for another blow. Katya felt her knees starting to buckle.

"Don't tell me to settle down, Margot, and you either, Ning. Now where are my patients?" Le Blanc asked in frustration.

Before anyone could stop the doctor she pulled back the first drawn curtain she found only to have Katya collapse right at her feet.

Chapter 8: Chapter 8

Chapter Text

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR C

MULTIPURPOSE ROOM; MCC4

YEAR: 2315

Bill sat waiting in a small cabin at what looked like some kind of rec-room card table. The cabin was almost empty except for it and a few other mismatched tables and chairs. The space seemed to be a catch-all for unneeded furniture. One of the walls in the room looked strange and he thought he saw it flicker a few times as he waited. The cabin didn't seem to be used much and Bill figured the privacy it offered was probably why Saul had his guard bring him to wait there.

A day and a half after they had woken up Laura was demanding to leave Med Ward. Bill wasn't surprised she didn't want to stay there and he really didn't blame her. Before she'd died she'd spent far too many precious days in Sick Bay hooked up to IVs and monitors. As soon as it had started to sink in that she was really alive she'd started asking to leave. Shortly after that in her frustration she'd started threatening to walk out. Though Bill had no idea where they would be going next, he had to agree with her. They weren't sick as far as he could tell. They were a little stiff and sore, and exorbitantly confused, but they wouldn't stay in the clinic and be gawked at by what seemed to be a continuous parade of ultra-fascinated scientists and doctors. It seemed they were celebrities of sort aboard the so called space station.

Saul and Ellen saw to their release as soon as they could. The staff was hesitant, especially the doctor they called Le Blanc. The thought of the woman made Bill wince even as he sat alone in the empty room. From the first time he had seen her bust through the infirmary curtian she had rubbed him the wrong way. When she'd all but jumoes over the poor girl who'd fainted at her feet just to get to his bedside he knew that she would be trouble. With Saul and Ellen momentarily distracted by their daughters spell Le Blanc hit Bill and Laura and their attending medics with a rapid onslaught of questions and probing. Once the fallen young lady had been taken care of and moved to a bed behind her own curtain Saul returned and quickly put an end to the medical skirmish. It had taken Bill and Laura each another sedative to get any rest at all that first night. Le Blanc had come back several times during their stay in the ward, but thankfully in a slightly less intimidating state. Saul and Ellen had promised Bill and Laura that after they left the ward they'd be dealing with her much less; another reason Bill had seconded Laura's request to leave.

Bill had to admit that the Tighs had been nothing but patient with he and Laura, even when they weren't being patient with them in return. After the first night they did their best to answer questions and give sound explanations. They gave them time to process the stories they told and promised earnestly to help them cope in any way they could. Bill had been angry at them after they told their story about leaving Earth with the centurions. The hybrid and Anders, the prophecy, their DNA harvest of Galactica and their subsequent boxed hibernation of almost two millennia was enough to make Bill feel like his brain was melting. He'd cursed Saul for bringing him into another war and he'd cried for Laura when she couldn't seem to shake her depression over being taken from wherever they had been resting peacefully. Then Saul had offered them an out. He'd given them the option not to stay. He'd promised that if they decided to leave this second life that they'd surly go back to where they'd come from. By-gods he'd even offered to take them out himself. Saul told them that he'd sacrifice an entire race of people, an entire planet's hope for a future if that was what the two of them really wanted. They'd both known it was a bluff, and at the very least an appeal to their mutual sense of nobility, but it worked. Bill was no less frustrated but the sense of trust he had for his old friend had awoken with him. It was in that moment that somehow he and Laura had decided to go forward and press on. There was still a lot that they didn't understand but for now they would see where their new life would take them.

After being discharged from Med Ward, Saul had taken Bill to a nearby officer's locker room with the promise of a hot shower and the eventual delivery of some real clothes while Ellen did the same with Laura. At first they hadn't wanted to be separated, but Saul and Ellen had explained that all latrines and locker rooms on board were gender segregated, even for the military; something Bill found strange and unnecessary. With the assignment of marine escorts and Ellen's promise to take care of Laura they had gone their separate ways. The Tighs assured them that they would be reunited shortly.

The hot shower had felt good on Bill's stiff joints. When he was done he dressed in the robe and socks that he'd left the infirmary in. He was then escorted by a marine to wait in the unoccupied room he currently found himself in. The marine told Bill the Colonel had gone to retrieve his clothes. When he had asked how long it would be the marine curtly told him he had no further information. Getting nowhere with his less than genial guard Bill had resigned to sit and wait, but he was begining to grow impatient. After what his wrist told him had been almost twenty minutes he was sick of waiting. He was relieved when the hatch finally opened and Saul stepped in.

"Sorry it took me so long, Bill. Katya was supposed to meet me half way and she..."

Saul looked up to see Bill sitting with his forearm raised, his elbow flexed and eyes squinting obviously displaying the contraption on his wrist.

"What the hell is this Saul?" Bill asked.

Saul noticed his tone was more accusatory than speculative.

"That's your station cuff, Bill" Saul answered. "You didn't just now notice it, did you?" He asked putting the pile of clothes down on the table where his friend sat.

"No. I noticed it in the clinic. I figured it was some kind of medical device. When they didn't remove it that's when I noticed everyone else was wearing one too. When I went to shower I found I couldn't take the damn thing off ," Bill said more firmly.

"No, they don't come off, Bill." Saul said shaking his head. "Well they can, but only with a special tool. Doctors have them, certain government officials," He explained.

"And what if I don't want to wear it?" Bill asked obviously irritated by the new information.

"It's the law here in Orbit, Bill. Everyone over the age of twelve has one fitted especially to them. It's how we communicate here and a big part of how we get around from place to place."

Saul looked down at his own cuff. It was a pearlized blue that matched the band he wore on his tunic around his left bicep as all military did. It was the only strip of color on their otherwise sleek black and white uniforms. The blue indicated residence or service of Alpha. Each station had its own color cuffs and their military had corresponding arm bands. Gamma had green, Beta; Orange and Delta; Purple.

"It's a wireless messaging system," Saul continued. "It has access to our Orbit-wide network but not only that, it also contains all of your important information. Doctor's can scan it and get your entire medical history. It's a credential system too. It's how people gain access to their cabins and offices. A scan of mine would show the level of clearance I have and what spaces I'm allowed to enter here on Alpha. It would show that I'm an officer and confirm my rank."

" This , from a people who you're telling me are already fighting a war against a network that turned against them?" Bill interjected but Saul ignored him.

"It also facilitates the credit system used; people pay for things by scanning it. We had devices just like this back in the Colonies before and after the First Cylon War, it's not too different. It's just that here, if you're a citizen, it's the law," Saul went on as Bill's face hardened.

"And what happens if you refuse?" Bill countered.

"Well then you can't do much with your life. Civvies are fined and eventually jailed. Military get's put in the brig, but no one really refuses. It's hard to function here without it."

" And what if you don't have any arms? " Bill scowled.

"Then you wear it on your ankle," Saul sternly countered with a raised brow while still trying to remain patient.

This was the fight he'd been expecting.

" And what if you have no frakking legs?"

" Then they put a frakkin' microchip in your neck!" Saul growled in return.

After a tense pause both men broke down and laughed and Saul took a seat across from Bill.

"I know it's your worst nightmare, Old Man, but it's not so awful. They have a pretty good handle on it; safety precautions, things like that. The systems never been infiltrated and with the basestar in range it gives the Orbit network pretty good protection. It can be a pain in the ass, but it's not all bad-look here..."

Saul swiped at the top of his cuff a few times before a small image projected over it. He held it out showing it to Bill. The image was of a young girl, about ten years old, with long dark hair and blue eyes. She wore a leotard and ballet slippers and she was smiling at someone off to the side.

"That's the officer, your pilot," Bill said looking at the display. "Isn't it?"

"That's our Katya," Saul said with a proud smile as he swiped the picture away. "But, she was just a little girl there," He added. "It was taken a good twelve years ago or so but it's my favorite one. I like to pull it up now and then."

Bill smirked at the glimmer of fatherly admiration Saul's eyes held as he spoke of the girl.

"How is she?" He inquired. "We didn't hear much after the medics took her away."

Saul rolled his eye and rubbed at his forehead as he leaned back in his chair.

"She's fine. We'd all had a long day. It was just low blood sugar and a bump on the head. She woke up the next morning, went right back to being a pain in the frakkin' ass. Got out of the bed, pulled her IVs right out of her own damn arm and left without telling anyone," Saul shook his head, "When I finally tracked her down and asked why, she told me it was because she just didn't want to be there anymore," He shrugged looking fed up.

"Sounds just like Laura," Bill said with a chuckle.

Saul paused for a moment.

"She sure does," He agreed, smiling to himself. "She's actually on her way to see Laura now. Ellen's having her bring some clothes over," He said hoping that Katya was in fact doing as she'd been asked.

The Tighs had instructed Katya to go to Bill and Laura's cabin in order to pick up some things that they would need after they got cleaned up. Saul and Ellen hadn't wanted the pair to travel all the way to the next corridor without getting showered and dressed. Katya had put up a fight but eventually she had given in, though she'd made Saul wait longer than she should have. When they'd finally met, Saul took Bill's clothes and ordered her to hustle to Ellen with Laura's things.

"Ya know it's funny to see you and Ellen talk about her," Bill remarked. "You two as parents, it's kind of nice actually."

Saul nodded in appreciation.

"Through this whole dark ordeal, she's been the light for us," He said with a grin. "She's been trouble, don't get me wrong, but Ellen and I would do it all over again. We've been more than happy to have her trouble and all."

Bill shrugged and smiled.

"That's what it is to be a parent. You love them good or bad."

"Yeah well she's mostly a good kid. She's a fine pilot, spends her off time tutoring a lot of the children aboard Alpha, loves little kids. She's real smart too. It's just now and then she throws me for a loop. I thought she'd be less trouble as she got older, turns out that's not the case. She got married just about six months ago to that marine guard, the one outside,"

Saul started to explain as he motioned toward the hatch.

"You mean Mr. Personality out there?" Bill snorted.

"That's the one. Sergeant Alexi Petrov," Saul affirmed. "Anyway, before the wedding I kept telling Ellen, 'now she's his responsibility, she'll be his problem now'," Saul shook his head, "Didn't work out that way. Now we just have two problems, Katya, and Happy out there." He said rubbing the top of his bald head with his palm.

Bill continued to quietly laugh as thoughts of Zak and Kara, Lee and Dee came to mind.

"Sounds about right," He confirmed, "You don't like the guy?" Bill asked.

"Na, I like him fine. He treats Katya well and he's a fine marine. They've been dating since they were kids. I know they're a little young but we knew it would happen eventually anyway."

"What's with the stone face?" Bill joked. "Not very chatty."

"He lightens up now and then, especially when you get a couple of drinks in 'em. And believe me you'd be shocked to know…"

Saul stopped himself. He had almost told Bill that he'd be shocked to know whose son he was. They weren't quite ready for that conversation yet. Saul had always been both amused and appalled that Alexi was the offspring of the so called genius-doofus-traitor, Gaius Baltar. He'd so often had to remember that it wasn't the boys fault. In fact, the kid was downright ashamed of it himself. Sometimes Saul wondered if it didn't affect his own feelings toward the boy. What did effect them without a doubt was the boy's relation to Caprica. So often Saul saw glimpses of her in Alexi. He had his father's coloring, but his features had obviously come from the Six despite the masculine form they had taken in him.

"What I mean to say is, his demeanor's more a product of his upbringing. Katya too in some ways. I've been told the disposition is somewhat…cultural. See, they were both originally raised by men whose families had come from a part of the surface called the Eastern Federation. You'll hear the two of them speak the old language now and then. We didn't get Katya until she was seven so she's fluent. They call it E-Fed. They really shouldn't be speaking it at all. As of two years ago there was an Orbit-wide universal language declaration, but you know, old habits," Saul went on figuring it was as good a time as any for some history. "Before the war started the planet was divided into four separate sectors; the United West, the Eastern Republic, the Central Union and the Eastern Federation. At one time each sector controlled one of the space stations in Orbit. Alpha was controlled by the United West. Well when the threat below became too great and more and more people started to retreat to the stations, they eventually opted for one government. Cultures meshed and melded but some traditions still remain. The doctors you met, the Xaos, you'll sometimes hear them speak what people call E-Rep, the language from the former Eastern Republic. No one teaches the old languages to children anymore though, at least they're not supposed to. The people have just sort of been changing and adapting out here in Orbit for the last two centuries, but they all want to get back to the surface. They won't survive forever out here."

Saul wondered if he should have saved the history lesson just a little longer. Bill looked a bit overwhemed but when he nodded Saul took it as an invitation to go on.

"These people, they may seem to have the same advancements as the Colonies did, some even far more advanced, but in many ways they're a lot more primitive. Their manned space vessels still can't travel too far outside of orbit and they never developed FTL technology. Even synced up, our basestar's not enough to blink them all out of here if the need came," Saul finished.

Bill looked pensively down at his hands taking in everything Saul had just said. For a fraction of a moment he wondered where his ring was. Then he remembered. It was on Laura's finger burriws somewhere down on planet below them.

"And when exactly are you going to tell me what it is I'm supposed to do to help these people?"

Saul stood and moved the stack of clothes on the table toward Bill.

"We'll talk about that. But first, put your clothes on, Old Man."

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR C

MULTIPURPOSE CABIN; MCC2

YEAR: 2315

Laura sat across from Ellen in what seemed to be a small unused meeting room. It was close to the women's lockers where she had been taken to shower.

Wanting to give Laura as much privacy as possible Ellen had suggested they leave the lockers and wait for her clothing to arrive in a nearby office.

Laura sat in just a robe and slippers that Dr. Xao had graciously provided before they left Med Ward. Her hair was still wet and it was becoming a little uncomfortable as it dampened the back of the robe.

"You know Ellen, it's a little chilly in here," Laura told the other woman who sat busily fiddling with the cuff on her wrist.

Ellen looked up and smiled.

"It won't be long. Katya will be here any second with some clothes," She assured before looking back down at her wrist.

Laura nodded, trying to subdue her irritation. She couldn't believe that she was actually there, alive and sitting around in nothing but a borrowed robe across from Ellen Frakking Tigh. Ellen had been more than helpful while they were in the infirmary. She was attentive to Bill and saw to Laura's comfort and care, but now that they were alone together the vibe between them had taken on a different feeling, an old feeling.

"Katya," Laura echoed the name. "That's that young lady- the one who fainted the other night? Your…daughter?" She questioned.

Ellen pursed her lips together before smiling again.

"Yes, yes she is," She said nodding.

"Then she's feeling better, I take it?" Laura posed.

"Oh she's fine now. The poor thing hadn't eaten all day. She was good as new in the morning. She has a little cut on her eyebrow, but she's at trooper," Ellen said trying to paint a prettier picture.

The truth was Katya had been completely overwhelmed by the sight of a conscious Bill and Laura. Tawny had done her best to mend the girl's adhesion and pump her full of fluids and supplements, but as soon as Katya woke up early that next morning she'd fled the ward. With Saul, Ellen and most of the staff still overly occupied with Bill and Laura, no one had noticed except for the marine guards; all friends of hers who claimed to have seen nothing when questioned. When the Tighs tracked Katya down she had been in her own quarters in her rack with the covers drawn over her head. Saul became quickly frustrated with her snide remarks and accused her of pouting. He left soon after, satisfied that she was at least physically alright but Ellen stayed with her for a while.

Katya told Ellen that when she woken up in the ward she just couldn't stand to know she was in the same room with Bill and Laura. She said that she could hear them talking from across the clinic and that it made her skin crawl. She hadn't wanted to react that way but she couldn't help it. Ellen had tried to make light of it, telling her that it would just take some getting used to.

"It's no so bad, Kat," Ellen had attempted. "It's the same as if you'd seen your old stuffed bear suddenly start walking and talking after years of growing up with it sitting silently at the foot of your rack. You'd surly be scared at first, but it wouldn't necessarily mean he couldn't still be a good friend," She'd posed in jest hoping to get a least a tiny smile from her silly analogy.

"That's the creepiest fucking thing you could have possibly said," Katya had answered, dismissing Ellen and diving under the covers again.

After that they had given the girl some space. They'd finally contacted her once Bill and Laura were discharged from the ward to ask her to retrieve clothes from their cabin. Ellen had asked delicatly, reminding Katya that she knew the cabin best and where all of their new clothes were kept. Saul took a far more agressivd approache and demanded that Katya get her ass in gear and help them out. After some typical Tigh family banter Katya had agreed but after waiting way longer than expected Ellen was starting to wonder if she'd changed her mind. She was taking forever. A message from Saul showed that he had at least gotten Katya's delivery but it was well passed the amount of time it should have taken her to get to where Ellen and Laura were waiting.

"Anyway she should be right in," Ellen stalled somewhat uncomfortably. "The Commander granted her leave for the week with everything the family had going on. The poor thing usually works so hard. She's probably distracted talking to some friends or something," She justified with an overly pleasent grin.

She and Laura had never really gotten along. They were two very different women with almost nothing in common. They sure had something in common now, Ellen thought.

"She seems so young to be an officer," Laura commented trying to keep up conversation. "And a Captain at that."

"She's twenty-two. She enlisted at seventeen with Saul's permission. Legal adult age here in Orbit is twenty-one so as you can imagine I wasn't too thrilled about it at the time but she was determined to get into the cockpit," Ellen informed. "I guess it um…runs in the family," She added with an arched eyebrow, pleased with her own sly reference.

"She calls you her aunt and uncle," Laura observed. "Why not mom and dad?"

Ellen licked her lips trying to come up with the best answer possible.

"Well, her birth parents were never able to care for her. She was raised by another man; a scientist on board who was killed when she was just seven years old. When we adopted her a few weeks after his death Saul didn't think it was right to have her start calling another man 'daddy' so quickly. So, he became Uncle Saul and I…well…" Ellen just stopped and shrugged.

She'd managed to tell the truth, as evasive as it was.

"What made you and Saul take her in? I mean, with all of the responsibility it seems you've had in this…situation. There must have been other people willing to adopt her," Laura inquired.

Ellen wasn't sure if it was her own guilty conscious or Laura's line of questioning that fueled her irritation. Either way she knew her response was coming out slightly antagonistic.

"Well you know Laura; I always regretted not having children. I truly did. Did you? Ever regret it, I mean?" Ellen asked, not sure if it would cut at the other woman, but hoping it would. She didn't wait for a response. The immediate squint of Laura's eyes was enough for the time being. "Well, when I saw Katya's sweet little helpless face and I saw how much she needed me, I guess I saw a second chance. She needed a family and we love her very very much," Ellen said glossing over all of the major details and laying down some of her signature antagonistic bedrock.

"You seem very proud of her," Laura remarked, ignoring the rude personal inquiry and trying her best to fake being even the slightest bit interested in Ellen Tigh bragging about her child.

"Oh we are. She just got married a few months ago too," Ellen beamed. "You should have seen Saul that day. I mean they don't really do weddings here like we did back on the Colonies. It was just a formal signing of their license, but I thought Saul was about to tear up a few times," she went on smiling as she remembered.

Laura nodded with a prim tight lipped smile.

"Tell me Ellen, does she also wear one of these pretty bracelets that so helpfully flashes the time every thirty seconds?" Laura caustically said raising the wrist that her new station cuff was on.

Ellen bit her lip and then arched a single brow.

"I'll just go see what's keeping her," She said promptly rising from her seat and heading toward the hatch.

 

Ellen rolled her eyes once her back was turned toward Laura. The former president certainly hadn't changed. If this was how unfriendly she was going to be Ellen decided that she certainly wouldn't break her back trying to encourage Katya to converse with the woman, no matter what Saul said. Bill and Laura were there to save the people, not form new warm and fuzzy relationships. Katya didn't need them anyway. She already had a loving mother and father. Still, Ellen wished the girl would show up soon. She'd had enough one on one interaction with Laura for the day.

Laura watched as Ellen made her way to the hatch. She hadn't really meant to be so short with her but she still couldn't shake her old opinions of Ellen Tigh. Though she had learned before she died that there was far more to the cylon woman than her propensity for slurring and flirting it was difficult to dismiss first impressions. Ellen certainly had proved to be much more than Colonel Tigh's less than virtuous other half. She was an obviously brilliant and determined woman in her own right. Even so, some of her distinctively unscrupulous attributes were still clearly apparent.

 

Ellen wasn't the only thing that was affecting Laura’s patience and attitude. More importantly she still couldn't shake the feeling that she and Bill had somehow just been cheated out of their eternal rest. Since they had woken up she'd taken to closing her eyes and attempting to remember more about where they had been. Every time she tried it got further away from her. The memory of the feeling of being there was fading fast and all that was left was the notion of how wonderful it had been. She hoped Saul was right when he said that they would be able to return one day. She'd learned ages ago that nothing happened by accident. Perhaps they had been fated to join the living once again, but she didn't have to be happy about it. She wasnt. She was miserable. There was a darkness in her heart that she couldnt seem to get rid of. As Laura sat and waited she started to feel a little guilty about insulting Ellen's adopted daughter. For all she knew she was a perfectly fine young women, despite being raised by the Tighs.

 

Katya had been stalling all morning. In spite of the underlying sense of dread that she'd been feeling she was otherwise grateful to be out of uniform for once. She was happy to be able to wear her hair down all day and put on comfortable clothes. When Alexi's cuff alarm had gone off at 0400 and Katya realized that she could snuggle under the blankets and return to sleep for a few more hours she'd felt something close to bliss. Time off was rare as was sleeping in. No matter what shifts she flew the station sounded reveille at 0500 every day. The much appreciated morning snooze had unfortunately been cut short by a message from her parents only a few hours later requesting clothes for Roslin and Adama's discharge. After a few argumentative words with Saul Katya had donned her patrol tank and arm band, threw on a pair of gym pants and headed to the Roslin-Adama cabin. 

 

Though the newly resurrected pair had not yet stepped foot in their assigned quarters Katya couldn't help but feel that the air in the cabin had changed. Just a few days ago she had felt so at home there, setting things up and getting it ready. Now it felt as if she were standing in a stranger's quarters without their knowledge. She made quick work of packing them each a simple sweater and slack set. She knew every piece of clothing that was in the wardrobe, had picked them all herself. She used to imagine what they would look like wearing each outfit but as she folded and packed up them up she did her best to dissociate, trying not to think about the people who would soon fill them out. After under some garments, shoes, a belt and a few other items that she figured might be helpful she'd left to find Saul.

 

Taking the long way had become a recent habit of. Katya had promised to meet Saul half way with Bill's things, but he was more than disgruntled to find her ridiculously off course. She’d quickly handed off the bag as Saul barked instructions that she haul ass the rest of the way to Ellen and Laura. His order came with a look that seemed to promise a future lashing. Katya turned and ran until she was sure that she was out of his sight. 

 

Even after resuming her less than rapid pace Katya had still arrived at the hatch in question too soon for her liking. The corporal outside had done nicely for her last diversion. Katya had learned a thing or two about occupying a man’s attention from Ellen and she had no trouble coaxing the marine into a lengthy yet boring conversation. She figured that as long as he kept talking it would be rude to walk away. The jig was finally up when Ellen stepped out of the hatch.

" Kat , how long have you been standing out here?" Ellen asked after the marine shut the door behind her.

"I don't know," Katya stalled. "I was just having a friendly talk with Corporal Booker here about his transfer request to be stationed over on Gamma."

"Beta," The corporal corrected.

"Beta," Katya repeated.

Ellen rolled her eyes at her daughter's obviously guilty smile.

"That woman's sitting in there freezing in nothing but a ward robe. Her hair is sopping wet and she's starting to get aggravated . Now get in there, " Ellen scolded her.

"Her hair's been wet for like thirty years, she can't wait another minute? Besides, I'm not going in. Here's her stuff," Katya said holding the bag out for Ellen to take.

" Oh yes, you are!"

" Why should I? I did what you asked. Look I even brought a halo dryer for her hair," Katya added, shaking the contents of the bag in frustration. "I was going to hit the gym. Give me one good reason why I need to come in there."

 

" Because I sure as hell am not sitting in there with her alone anymore! Now let's go!" Ellen ordered, dragging Katya by her wrist. "Corporal, the hatch," she instructed.

"Good luck on Delta, Corporal," Katya said as Ellen towed her along.

"Beta," He corrected again.

"Whatever," She answered as he closed the door behind them.

Laura sat with a painfully forced smile as both women entered the room.

"Something wrong?" She inquired having heard some elevated yet muffled voices.

"Not a thing," Ellen returned with an equally strained smile of her own. She made her way toward Laura leaving Katya standing by the entrance. "There was a mix up with the cabin number is all," she lied. "That explains the delay."

"Oh," Laura remarked looking over Ellen's shoulder at the younger woman.

She gave the girl a small smile and then looked down at the bag held in her hand as if to ask for it but Katya didn't seem to notice.

Ellen turned around finding that Katya hadn't made it very far into the room at all. Not only was she stuck in place but the expression she wore looked a little too close to the way it had before she’d clasped in the clinic. 

"Sweetie, why don't you give Ms. Roslin her things," She promoted, following with a silently mouthed ' get over here'.

Finally snapping out of her stupor Katya made her way toward the two women. 

Ellen watched as she handed the bag to Laura like some bot whose battery needed charging. Hoping to prod her further she gave the girl a subtle elbow to the ribs.

"Oh,” Katya started, “These are for you. I hope they fit,” she said looking anywhere but into Laura's eyes. "Sorry, it took so long," she finished.

 

"That's alright," Laura replied with a more sincere smile.

 

"Laura, you remember Katya. I know you only met briefly in Med Ward…" Ellen started.

 

"Yes. How are you feeling, Captain?" Laura inquired glancing at the small closure strip over the young officer’s eyebrow.

Internally Kat was debating between bolting for the door or answering the woman's question. She could hardly believe that Laura was even speaking. Not only that but she was looking right at her. It was more than overwhleming. For a split second she worried that she might faint again. She wondered if she would ever get used to them being alive. She couldn't imagine it ever feeling normal. She'd dreamed and hoped and wished for it her whole childhood and now that it was really happening it just made her want to cringe.

 

"I'm fine, Ma'am," She finally answered in a less than steady voice. "Thank you for asking."

Sensing that Laura noticed Katya's nervousness Ellen felt the need to explain.

"Laura, you’ll  have to excuse Katya. You see, she used to volunteer in the lab where…well…where your bodies were kept until your recent resurrection and so she's just a little stunned to see you up and moving," she gracefully danced around more of the truth.

" Elle, " Katya whined, shooting her an irritated side glance that went ignored.

 

Laura's face somewhat softened at the explanation. It was strange to hear people talk about her body during a time that she hadn't really been in it, but at least it accounted for the girl's uneasy demeanor.

"That's quite alright, Captain. When I looked in the mirror this morning I was pretty stunned to see myself too," Laura joked.

 

Katya attempted a smile in return. She was more than a little embarrassed and figured the woman probably thought she was a head-case. She sure felt like one anyway. As if things weren't already tense enough, Katya’s heart nearly stopped as she noticed that Laura’s eyes had narrowed. She was looking directly at her as she seemed to be studying something.

"Something the matter?" she asked, feeling her stomach flip flop.

Laura cocked her head to the side.

"Your eyes," she remarked. “The deep blue...I've never seen that on anyone except…"

"Well the head is right behind you," Ellen abruptly interrupted. "If you'd like to get dressed we can meet up with Saul and Bill as soon as you're done."

Katya stood there wondering if she were too young to have a heart attack.

Distracted by Ellen's abrupt suggestion, Laura nodded in agreement. As she rose from her seat she took a quick peek inside the bag that the girl had provided. Reaching her hand in she pulled out what looked like a big plastic hoop the size of a dinner plate. It seemed to have an on and off switch but Laura had no idea what it was.

When Ellen didn't offer any help Katya forced herself to speak.

"It's for your hair," she said, noticing the woman's confusion. "To dry it," she added.

When Laura's perplexed expression hardly changed and Ellen remained purposefully and annoyingly silent Katya tentatively moved around to Laura's side of the table.

"Here," Katya said, taking the device while cautiously avoiding any eye contact. "It turns on with a swipe to this dial."

Katya turned it on and the hoop whirred to life. A rush of warm air circulated in its center. Sensing the need for further demonstration she turned it off and continued.

"Just pull your hair through it until its resting on the crown of your head. Then turn it on and drag it back down to the ends. You'll have to run it through a few times. You're hair is just as thick as mine."

Katya paused hoping that her last words had come off sounding more like a recent observation rather than prior knowledge from years of attending to its maintenance.

"We call it a halo," she quickly added.

"Thank you, Captain," Laura said with a smile.

As Laura reached to take the dryer Katya couldn't help but suddenly notice her hands. They looked so much like her own. She'd trimmed and filed Laura's nails so many times in the lab but now animated with life she saw the similarity like never before. 

Laura's hands appeared slightly older due to the lab's artificial aging but they were almost identical to Katya's. They each had the same long bony fingers, the same hyper-extended pinky.

When Laura took a hold of the dryer Katya hid her own hands reflexively behind her back as if the other woman would possibly notice.

"I'll be right out," Laura said to Ellen before disappearing behind the door of the head.

The moment the door clicked shut Katya turned to Ellen.

"I'm getting the fuck out of here,” she announced as she went to rush toward the exit, but before she could take more than a few steps forward Ellen had her by the arm again with a cylon grip. 

"The frak you are.”

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR C

MULTIPURPOSE CABIN; MCC4

YEAR: 2315

Bill came out of the head finally dressed and a great deal more comfortable.

"Everything alright, Bill?" Saul asked.

 

"Yeah, just fine," he answered as he took his seat once again. 

Saul gave a pleased nod, glad to see Bill finally up and moving around.

 

"You just happened to have these clothes lying around?" Bill asked leaning back in his chair.

 

"We've been getting ready for your arrival for a long time," Saul explained. "Like I said, there's a whole cabin waiting for you in the next corridor. It's the military housing area on the station. You won't be far from me and Ellen. We did our best to set the place up. Should be pretty comfortable. The clothes, well, those were mostly Katya. She helped us make sure you would have everything you needed. We'll go down there later today."

 

Bill nodded. It was so strange to hear about the preperations for their arrival. People had been expecting them, waiting for them, and he couldn't comprehend why. Ellen had started to describe the way their bodies were cloned and kept in a military laboratory. It gave him the chills to think about his body being handled by scientists for years, just lifeless and waiting.

 

"Saul, you said that we weren't the only ones here…that we aren't the only ones being brought back," Bill finally began. "You've told me Lee isn't here but I need to know who is…or at least who will be soon," he added with a grave tone.

 

Saul took a deep breath in. As much as he had been worried about overwhelming Bill and Laura, there were some things that they indeed needed to know before the project progressed any further.

 

Soon after the news of the successful Roslin and Adama downloads had been announced the Earth Orbit Committee thad started to pester Michelle Le Blanc for a scheduled date of download for the next pair. In turn Le Blanc had begun to pester Saul and Ellen. The Tighs weren't ready to move on just yet. They felt Bill and Laura deserved to understand a bit better before the project continued.

 

"When Ellen and I first brought over the genetic materials for the project things were supposed to be a lot different than they've turned out. The people here, they had the cloning technology, but they didn't know where to start. They looked to Ellen and me for direction and advice. They needed help sorting out the message of our hybrid and their Quarts Plates. You remember; the ones I told you had to have been left by someone in the fleet, or at the very least an early descendant."

 

Saul stopped and waited for Bill to acknowledge his words. When he nodded Saul continued.

 

"I won't lie to you, Husker. You and Laura were always first on the list. We had them start on your bodies right away. The prophecy called for the original leaders of the people and that was the two of you, no doubt in my mind."

 

Saul did his best not waver. He looked Bill in the eyes as he spoke.

 

"Then Ellen turned to Laura's old dreams. I mean, she was our prophet back then. Her visions helped us along the way. More importantly they let us know who needed to make it to Earth; the key players in our version of this ever repeating mess of a story. When Laura dreamed of the Opera House, she always saw an Eight; Athena, a Six; Caprica, and that idiot Gaius frakkin' Baltar, so, they were the next on our list. I know it seems preposterous to want to resurrect that immoral bastard, but our hybrid all but called for him by name."

 

As Saul spoke he watched the storm brew behind Bill's eyes. He wanted to stop, to give him some time but it was going to be easier to get it out all at once. There would be time for questions later.

 

"When we told the people here that Karl Agathon had been the father of the first Colonial-Cylon hybrid they wanted him too. We figured it wasn't a bad idea. Helo and Athena were one of the most important symbols of our time. They helped unite the races. Once that was decided Ellen thought it was important that one of the Final Five cylons be included. It made sense to choose Samuel Anders; we'd heard this prophecy come out of his own mouth on Galactica before it went into the sun. Ellen thought he was the best choice and that his eventual presence would be beneficial to our last and final cloned subject, but well, that's where we hit a roadblock." Saul paused and gulped. "It’s an issue that's bathed this entire project in an ominous frakking shadow from day one, Bill. See, the hybrid seemed to ask for Starbuck. I remember it myself; it kept saying ' a star, a star, returns for salvation'. I knew it had to be talking about Kara," Saul sighed and shook his head. "We had a full vial of her blood dated right after she’d mysteriously returned to Galactica. It must have been the sample Cottle used to make sure that it was really her. You remember all that, don't ya, Bill?"

 

"Yeah," Bill confirmed, frowning at the terrible memories.

 

"We gave the blood sample to the Orbit scientists and when they went to start on her cloning- well, they couldn't. They said the blood contained no identifiable characteristics. When they looked at it under their microscopes or ran it through their computers for analysis they said it was like there was nothing there. You could see it; plain as the nose on your face, but it was useless. It was like it didn't really exist. We don't know why. We had it preserved on the basestar same as all the others. There was no explanation for it. We had no way to bring back Starbuck."

 

Bill's face fell. All of it was bizarre but somehow learning about Kara gave him an eerie sense.

 

"So that makes five other bodies," He surmized, making sure that he understood the load of information he'd just received.

Saul shook his head.

 

"No, Bill. When it became clear that there was no hope in bringing Kara back I made a suggestion myself," He admitted.

 

"Who?"

 

"The Three known as D'Anna. There was something about her, something different from the other models. She could see things, see the final five for who we were before we even knew ourselves. She had insight to the world beyond the physical and to be honest, I felt like she never got to complete her journey."

 

Bill looked back at Saul as if he were crazy but Saul did his best to ignore his perplexed expression.

 

"The last time I spoke to her was on Earth, the real Earth, my old home. After everything she had seen, after all that she'd been through, she was so disillusioned that she had us just leave her there to die. She told me that she just wanted off the crazy merry-go-round that we were on. I know this sounds crazy to you, Bill, but I don't think her life should have ended that way. I've had more than enough time to think about this and it always bothered me. I don't think her soul's path is over and I think she might be able to help," he finished with a sense of affirmation.

 

"I just don't know what to say to that, Saul," Bill starkly replied.

 

"Nothing to say. It's just how I felt and well, now her body is awaiting download too. I just hope I wasn't wrong. I hope I'm right in my assumption that if Kara couldn't make it back here, then she wasn't supposed to. Maybe Ellen and I were wrong about the star being a reference to her. I just don't know."

 

"So that makes six more bodies then. Six that you're still planning to download," Bill assessed, but Saul shook his head yet again.

 

"We lost Baltar and Caprica. Well, we lost their bodies. A few years ago there was an attack on Gamma Station where they were kept. From the start the EOC had the military split up the bodies for security reasons. You and Laura were always here on Alpha, Helo and Athena on Beta and Anders and D'Anna on Delta. The bot's know what we're up to. They've killed most of the project originators during station ambushes. That's actually how we got Katya. Her father was your creator, Dr. Mikhail Isakoff and he died about fifteen years ago during an attack on Alpha protecting your bodies. Katya's husband, the marine out there," Saul said motioning to the hatch. "His father was Dr. Dmitri Petrov and he created what would have been Baltar and Caprica. There was an attack on Gamma. The doctor and his staff tried to protect them but the bodies were destroyed and he along with them...We're missing two key players here, Bill," Saul said, symbolically laying his cards on the table.

 

 

Bill's face hardened at the news of the missing bodies.

" Then why The frak go on with the damn project?" Bill coarsely interrogated. " Why bother ? Why not destroy all of us when the other two were gone? You're telling me after all this you don't even have the right people?" He spat. 

Saul could see the veins on the side of Bill’s neck starting to protrude.

 

 

" We couldn't just give up, Bill. We've had to hope that the ones who survived would be enough. There's still a chance that this is the way it should be. To have given up on this project, for these people, well that would have been like surrendering to death. You never let your people do that. Why should they?"

Bill shook his head and looked to the floor.

"And I'll tell you another thing, Old Man;" Saul went on feeling a sudden rise of repressed frustration come to the surface. "I've risked jumping into the sun to collect a bunch of blood and snot from a near melting ship. I've boxed myself, resigned my own soul to thousands and thousands of years of waiting nothingness. I've sacrificed my own chance at whatever the hell paradise you and Laura just came from. And I did it for this moment," he said rising out of his chair. " You've been resting for two hundred thousand years, Bill, but Ellen and I, we haven't. We chose not to because we knew if we did the descendants of the very people you lead here would have to give up the home you found for them, " Saul shouted, his voice raising to a level he hadn't intended. He tempered his frustration and unclenched his fists. "I'm tired, Bill. Eventually I wana know what it is to finally die and rest peacefully just like you did, but I can't do that without your help." He finished before lowering himself back into his seat.

Bill looked his friend in his eye.

"I want to see the bodies."

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR C

MULTIPURPOSE CABIN; MCC2

YEAR: 2315

" Did you hear her comment on my freaking eyes?"

"Yes, Katya, so what? Lots of people have blue eyes. It's fine," Ellen falsely reassured her.

The distinct Tauron blue of Katya's eyes was no doubt unique in Orbit. Ellen had always recognized them as having been passed down from Bill and though she wouldn't admit it to her over-anxious daughter she had her own moment of inner panic as Laura noticed them.

"I've dried her hair with a halo dryer a hundred times, Aunt Ellen,” Katya muttered. “Every damn time she was out for chamber maintenance or a procedure. Do you know how weird it was to just have to tell her how it's used?"

"I know , Katya. It's weird. We know. We all know this is weird," Ellen dismissively mocked as her station cuff vibrated. She paused to glance at it before going on. "Look, Uncle Saul and Bill are on their way over here. You're at least staying until they get here."

" Why ?"

" Because , Kat, this woman didn't like me the first time she was alive. Now she's frakking pissed that I woke her up from the dead. You're breaking up the tension…or at least you're distracting from my tension with your own tension," Ellen teased with a wink.

She truly had no interest in sitting around with Laura one on one, but deep down she had other motives for keeping Katya around. She could easily dismiss the girl, helping her to avoid her clueless birth parents at all costs, but it seemed to Ellen that the more time Katya spent with Laura the more adverse the girl became to the idea of getting to know her. 

"Just stay until Uncle Saul gets here. He'll let you know if you can leave or not," Ellen instructed.

"I'm not a child. He can't tell me where to go or what to do anymore."

"You know, Katya, saying stuff like that makes you sound even more like a child. Besides, he's your superior officer and he most certainly can tell you where to go and what to do," Ellen remarked.

"I'm on leave."

"You're on leave to attend to this very situation. Just wait on Saul and we'll see what he says," Ellen finalized putting her hands firmly on Katya's shoulders. "Now c'mere and let Auntie kiss that booboo," she teased, pouting out her lips as she leaned toward Katya's injured eyebrow.

Ellen always had a way of distracting Katya from her sadness or anger with laughter and silliness. Katya had been such a serious child when they first took her in. It was Ellen who had taught the girl to laugh and told her that there was always time to make the ones you love smile.

Katya stubbornly leaned away from Ellen as the woman made kissing noises and attempted to stand on her toes to reach the small cut with her comically pursed lips.

" C'mon, Ellen, quit treating me like a baby, " Katya complained leaning further back and causing Ellen to giggle.

Both women momentarily froze in place as they heard the sound of the head door shut. As they turned they found Laura, freshly dressed and appearing only slightly amused at their antics. They quickly composed themselves and gave her their attention.

"Everything work alright for you, Laura?" Ellen asked.

"Yes, thank you. Everything fit perfectly," she politely assured them, before holding out the hair dryer for Katya to take. "Thank you for the use of this, Captain. It's quite a handy little device."

Katya held up her palm and shook her head.

"No. That one's yours. You hold on to it," She said with a nervous smile.

"Thank you," Laura nodded placing it back in the bag that Katya had brought the clothes in.

"Change of plans," Ellen interrupted.

"Bill and Saul are going to meet us here," she informed Laura just as they heard the unmistakable creak of the hatch. " Oh and here they are," she laughed. “What timing!”

As soon as the men entered the room Bill quickly made his way to Laura putting an arm around her waist and hugging her close. 

Katya watched the couple’s  embrace. They seemed so relieved to see each other even after what could have only been an hour or so. Perhaps Margot was right about them, she considered. 

"Koshka, I need you to get us in a Shuttle-Hawk, ASAP," Saul instructed.

"What? Why me? I'm on leave," Katya complained.

"Because, I said so. Your flight status has been temporarily reinstated," he sternly informed.

"I was going to go to the gym. I'm not even dressed," Katya continued to whine. 

 

She looked to Ellen for backup but found no ally as she avoided eye contact.

 

"You're flying us there, end of story,” Saul told her. “If it makes you feel any better about missing the gym I'll order you to do a hundred push-ups when we get to our first destination.”

“Gee, thanks.”

 

“ Enough back talk. Alexi's coming too. He's still Bill's assigned guard. Now run and I mean run to the lockers and change, Koshka. We'll get Laura and Bill here something to eat while you're getting ready," Saul said looking over toward others. "We're going station hopping," he informed the group with a grin.

 

"What do you mean?" Laura asked. "Where are we headed?"

 

Bill gave her a small sad smile and squeezed her hands between his warm palms

 

"We're going to go visit some old friends, Laura."

 

Chapter 9: Chapter 9

Chapter Text

Chapter 9: Chapter 9

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

Alpha Flight Deck

YEAR: 2315

Katya had done as she was told. She'd run to the locker rooms to change and retrieve her flight suit. What else was she going to do? Margot was right, she thought as she waited for her passengers on the flight deck; they were meant for little more but to serve. It had always been that way. Still, that didn't mean she had to be happy about it.

When Katya had first arrived on deck Blazer was just getting off of patrol. Needing an ECO to fly a Shuttle-Hawk anyway she'd asked him to join her as a favor. Upon hearing the details he'd quickly agreed. Katya was more than glad to have his company. Not only would he be a supportive presence, but she knew that his overly friendly demeanor would quickly get under Uncle Saul's skin; a meager punishment for sticking her in such an uncomfortable situation.

"This is going to be one creepy little family reunion," Blazer remarked as they waited.

"Tell me about it. But quit that family innuendo crap when they get here Blazer, I mean it," Katya warned him.

"Did you really pass out when you saw them?"

"I just got light headed for a sec."

"Yeah, well Margot said you ate shit. This is real pretty," He mocked, poking at the bruise beside her brow. "The black and blue really brings out your eyes."

"Ow! Fuck you, Blazer! Quit it," She swore swatting his hand away.

The more his prodding irritated Katya the more it made Blazer chuckle.

"So how long do you plan on keeping it from them?" Blaze inquired with a waggle of his brows.

Katya shrugged and frowned.

"Long as I can. Uncle Saul hasn't said anything about it since the download and that's fine with me."

After Katya had left to suit up for the coming flight Saul and Ellen had taken Bill and Laura to Commander Kaplan's quarters for lunch. It was a quick and simple meal but the commander had been eagerly awaiting a meeting with Alpha's newest and most valued residents. Kaplan was more than welcoming to Bill and Laura. When he'd called Bill ' Admiral Adama ' Bill had tried to tell him that he'd been an admiral a lifetime ago and that the distinction wasn't necessary. Kaplan insisted that his title remain explaining that a respected retired officer never loses his rank or title. Saul agreed. They'd spoken about Saul's enlistment and how one of Kaplan's first orders as commander of Alpha was that Tigh join and serve at his old rank of colonel. Bill had to admit that he liked Kaplan very much, but he was anxious to get to Beta Station and see what Saul had described to him with his own eyes. The group ate quickly and with a promise of a future dinner at the Tighs they parted ways and headed to the flight deck.

"You know I won that bet, Cap," Blazer claimed as he and Katya sat waiting on the floor of the deck beside the shuttle-Hawk.

"You did not," Katya challenged. "Alexi won."

"Bullshit. I distinctly remember Adama said ' Laura, where the frak is Laura?' I won," The lieutenant insisted.

"You had words one to three, you idiot. That’s four . You and Margot each owe Alexi twenty credits."

" No way! The first thing he said was her name. A name isn't a word so it doesn't count. I won," Blazer emphatically explained. 

"I don't think that's going to fly well with Lex, but go ahead, tell him that," Katya snorted.

"It will if you and Margot back me up," he suggested.

"Trying to get one over on me, L.T?" Came Alexi's voice as he and Corporal Booker walked up to the Hawk.

Their party trailed not far behind them.

"It's a name, Sarge, I won." Blazer contended as he stood.

Alexi put a hand out to help his wife do the same. She took it and hoisted herself up into his arms for a short embrace.

"Yeah, well we'll see about that," Alexi scoffed.

"What the hell is he doing here?" Saul grumbled as he stepped up toward the shuttle.

"It's nice to see you too, Colonel," Blazer returned with a smile.

"I asked Blazer to fly with me," Katya answered. "You're making me fly a shuttle, I need an ECO and he's it," She told Saul firmly.

Saul glared at the ever-smiling pilot beside her. The kid got on his nerves, but he supposed it was alright. He'd been riding Katya all day. He would let her have her wingman by her side. Besides, their first stop was Beta Station. They'd be visiting Blazer's parents.

"Fine. It's just as well. Blazer you'll serve as security to Ms. Roslin after we board Beta. Corporal Booker, you're dismissed," Saul told the second marine guard who promptly took his leave.

"Glad that's all settled," Katya said grabbing her helmet from the floor and boarding the shuttle.

Alexi and Blazer stood outside the Hawk as the rest of the party boarded.

"Lovely to see you as always, Elle," Blazer greeted, taking her hand and helping her aboard.

"Always nice to see you, Blaze sweetie," Ellen returned sweetly. "You haven't officially met our new additions, have you? Bill, Laura, this is Lt. Blaze Bishop," she announced before she turned to take her seat.

Blazer stuck his hand out to guide Laura aboard.

"I'm so very honored to make your acquaintance, Ms. Roslin. Welcome aboard, and may I say ma'am, you look even more lovely standing upright and breathing," Blazer said with a wink and his most charming smile as Laura walked onto the ship's ramp.

"Oh well, thank you, Lt. Bishop, I think," she graciously replied as Blaze continued to grin and hold her hand.

Saul quickly interrupted the meeting.

"That's enough of that," He said, grumpily breaking up the interaction and helping Laura to take her seat himself.

Bill followed.

"Lieutenant," he greeted offering the young man his hand.

Bill took a moment to assess the vessel he was boarding. They had called it a Hawk. It reminded him of a Raptor just more streamlined and less boxy. He could say the same for the pilot's flight suits. They reminded him more of the suits Tauron stock car drivers had once worn: close to the body and sleek. He wondered how they could possibly be pressurized in case of ejection.

"Sir, I am humbled and honored to finally meet you," Blaze told him. "We are so grateful to have you aboard," he told him with a firm and enthusiastic shake of his hand.

" Hurry up, Blazer!" Saul called from inside the shuttle.

"Good to meet you, son," Bill said with a laugh as he left to take his seat.

Grabbing his helmet from where it sat by his boots Blazer boarded his ship.

"Alright, Koshka, let's roll," he called to Katya who was already seated and awaiting their deck taxi.

Alexi followed, rolling his eyes over the entire scene. He took his seat and with a hiss the hatch was closed.

LOCATION: BETA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

MILITARY LABORATORY FACILITY

YEAR: 2315

Through the entire ride Blazer had filled just the purpose Katya had hoped he would. He broke up the tension and more importantly he annoyed the hell out of Saul. Before they docked Blaze had taken it upon himself to play tour guide to his new passengers.

"I hope everyone is comfortable back there," Blazer spoke loudly, not bothering to use the com system.

Katya flew the Hawk without much need for his help and he reveled in the opportunity it gave him to play host.

"I'm not sure what the Tighs have told you about our station system here but the shuttle rides in between each station take around thirty minutes at a moderate relaxed speed. The stations are strategically spaced around the globe at specific points. While Gamma and Delta line up with the planet's Northern and Southern Poles, Alpha and Beta are stationed on opposite sides of the planet's equator. There are some smaller stations we call pods located in between," Blazer happily explained.

"No one cares, Blazer. Now turn around and shut it," Saul had yelled at one point getting a rare chuckle out of Alexi.

"I'd like to second that," The sergeant followed.

"Let the boy talk," Ellen defended

"I agree," Bill had chimed in. "I'd like to know at least a little about where you're taking us," he’d told Saul.

Blazer just continued unphased. 

"Our first stop is Beta Station; my very own home station," he’d announced proudly. "It's mostly known for its hydroponic agriculture. Over ninety-five percent of the food consumed in Orbit is produced on Beta. It's kind of our bread basket. They grow mostly fruits and vegetables from heirloom seeds originally harvested from the surface hundreds of years ago, but they also produce proteins like algae, tofu and several kinds of fungi. If you look out the port you may see other vessels enroute. They include Hawks like the one we're aboard and other larger transport vessels. You should see a Patrol Falcon or two, the form of transpo the Captain and I usually pilot and you may also see some Cylon Raiders from the basestar. We patrol pilots call them Guardians."

It had gone on like that until they were aboard Beta on foot and well passed the station’s flight deck. Katya couldn't help but chuckle to herself the entire way as Blaze’s routine continued through the station halls and got further and further under Saul and Alexi’s skin, but the good mood hadn't lasted long. Once they'd finally arrived at Beta's military laboratory everyone's demeanor changed.

The lab was almost identical to the one on Alpha except its stasis chambers still held two bodies.

As Katya, Blaze and Alexi hug back observing, the Tighs took Bill and Laura closer to the tanks that held what would soon be Karl and Athena Agathon.

Blazer became unusually quiet once they were in the lab. He hadn't spent as much time there as Katya had in the lab on Alpha, especially since he'd moved away from Beta Station at a young age. He tried his best to visit now and then, and when he did he couldn't help but turn pensive. As he watched Roslin and Adama staring at his parents he asked himself if he still held the same positive feelings about the coming download now that he had seen all that it entailed. Surprisingly enough he did. Maybe more than ever before. Not only because he wanted the prophecy to be fulfilled for his people, but because he longed for a chance to meet them.

Laura clung to Bill's side as she watched the bodies floating in the crystal clear fluid. She was stunned. She couldn't wrap her head around the fact that just days ago her body had been in the very same state. She was shaking and it wasn't just due to the almost frigid air in the laboratory. It was mortifying to know that her body had been on display, for how many years she still wasn't even sure. How long had her body floated there, exposed and unknowing before her consciousness was pulled back? It was enough to make her sick. Worse was the knowledge that soon two other souls were going to be taken against their will and forced into the very bodies in front of her. Wherever Helo and Athena were now, Laura knew that they were at peace there. They were with Hera and the souls of whatever other family they may have had. Soon they would be taken from that. It wasn't fair and it made her furious. 

Bill held on to Laura. He could feel her trembling in his arms but his focus was stuck on the forms in front of him. There were two of his pilots floating lifeless in the tanks. As he looked at them he had to remind himself to breathe. He was so thankful that Saul and Ellen hadn't brought Lee into whatever this was. An image of his son floating in the fluid suddenly came to mind. He cringed and shook his head trying to banish the awful thought.

After giving Bill and Laura some time Ellen finally spoke up.

"They were engineered by a man named Dr. Kyle Bishop. He died in one of the station attacks, but he and his staff were able to make sure that nothing happened to the bodies," she explained. "He was a hero here in Orbit for his sacrifice," Ellen added, looking over to Blazer who solemnly smiled thankfully at her words.

"Bishop," Bill repeated as his brow creased in recognition of the name.

"Yeah, Bill. He was the L.T's father," Saul said figuring Bill had made the connection.

He knew the Admiral had always done his best to remember names, even those of his lowest subordinates.

Bill turned to look at the young lieutenant. Blaze stood tall beside Katya and her husband. It was then that Bill realized that all three of them had once been the children of the scientists who created the bodies. He supposed with Saul and Ellen's involvement in the project that they must have taken the orphaned kids under their wing. Still, there was something that wasn't sitting right.

"Anyway," Ellen pushed forward, hoping to distract from Bill's inquiry, "Dr. Le Blanc has been asking us to come up with a date for their download here on Beta, sooner rather than later. The Committee is pressuring her now that your download was a success, but we didn't want to do it until you were settled and until you'd learned a little more about the project," she informed them.

Laura's eyes were still glued to the tanks and her anger was still on the rise.

Bill shook his head.

"Ellen, this is all a lot to take in," Bill told her as looked back and forth between each stasis chamber. 

"I know it is, Bill. Believe me I know. That's why we're trying to give you some time," Ellen tried to assure him.

"I just have to ask," Bill began, "Once you have us all… awake, what do you think we are going to be able to do exactly?"

Ellen glanced at her husband and then back at Bill.

"Well, we don't know exactly to be perfectly honest with you. Our prophecies-  they never told us what it was you would do, just that you'd return to do it," Ellen stated.

They all heard Laura let out a bitter laugh beside them.

Ellen continued anyway.

"We just sort of hypothesized that either something would present itself and you would all know in the moment, or that once you were all downloaded the knowledge would come then. I know it sounds insane but from experience I can tell you that it's not so outlandish. That was the way it worked for the final five. You both witnessed it. We didn't have the knowledge of resurrection until all of us were together," She proposed. 

Laura sharply turned away from the chambers and zeroed in on Ellen.

"So you're just going to go ahead and bring these two souls back into a war , into a life they don't know and into an existence they've already surpassed without any kind of notion of what you even need them to do?"

Laura made no attempt to hide her resentfulness. It was deep and only getting deeper.

Ellen had been expecting Laura’s outburst. She’d sensed it brewing since she’d first downloaded. She understood how overwhelming it had to be for them, but after everything she’d put into their resurrection she couldn't help being piqued at the other woman's accusations. She wouldn't hesitate to defend her work and the lifetime that she'd spent dedicated to it. Ellen quickly considered her response. She could try to calmly explain her position, but there was a certain added intrigue in drawing Laura Roslin into a confrontation; a confrontation that Katya would witness and one she knew the young woman would immediately take offense to.

"You know, Laura," Ellen started with an irritated smirk, "for a woman who asked her own people to follow her based on faith alone, I have to say that I'm surprised at your cynicism," she challenged. "You had your dreams, your little chamalla induced visions. You read Pythia and you prayed to the gods, conversed with your priests and asked us all to follow. Where's your faith in the guiding hand now?" Ellen bluntly posed.

" Ellen ," Saul warned behind her.

"I'm just curious," Ellen continued. "What's the difference? Is it because you aren't in charge of the situation this time? Because if that's what it takes I relinquish all control," she stated, dramatically throwing her arms up in feigned surrender.

" Cut the crap, Ellen, " Laura bit back. As if she weren't angered enough Ellen Tigh had just systematically pushed every button she could recall there was to push. Once upon a time Laura wouldn't have dared to give Ellen Tigh the satisfaction of a response, but in this case, newly resurrected and pissed the hell off she just couldn't seem to stop herself. " You can't just expect us to wake up and automatically know how to solve these people's problems. What if we can't!? What if you've done all of this for nothing? What if after we're all downloaded one of us decides that we just don't feel like helping? What if one of us refuses to participate!?"

Laura angrily proposed all of the hypotheticals that were running wildly through her mind, just daring Ellen to respond but she’d provoked someone else instead. 

" Then you'd be willingly contributing the eventual mass extinction of my people!" Katya shouted from behind them.

They all turned to look at her but was staring directly at Laura Roslin. Fueled by anger she was suddenly unafraid to look the woman dead in the eye.

" And I don't want to know the cold heartless so called soul who would choose to do that," She added with a look of obvious disgust. 

Katya could see that she had taken Laura by surprise and it only enraged her more.

" Katya !" Saul barked. He’d known as soon as Ellen went off that the girl would come to her defense. He had a rotten feeling that Ellen had been banking on as much too. It had been that way for years whenever there was an argument in the Tigh household. Ellen had all but trained Katya to be her ever-present backup. Saul didn't like where the conversation was headed and it was heading there quickly. " Back off now!"

" Why, Uncle Saul?! She is perfectly aware that we believe them to be our only hope!  Now she knows that there is an entire race of people counting on them, and she knows that when this is all over they still get to go back to whatever cushy dream land they just came from!" Katya shouted still staring daggers right at Laura. " She knows all of that and yet she stands here in front of all of us; in front of three soldiers who will likely die in the fight, in front of two people who've given their existence over to the only solution, and she makes threats about refusing to participate, as if this were a game?" 

Laura hadn't expected the Captain's response and she surly hadn't expected it to be so intense. The young woman's eyes had fury behind them. She had obviously hit more than a nerve.

"Katya, I was merely trying to point out the possible outcomes of this business of downloading four other people,” Laura defended. “You can't just assume that everyone will have the reaction you're looking for.”

"Let's just all take a second to calm down," Bill suggested. "This is obviously a highly emotional subject for everyone," he went on, looking to Saul for assistance, but Katya’s eyes were still locked and loaded and aimed directly at Laura. 

"What we assumed was that these once noble and courageous leaders would want to help their descendants keep the home they'd found for us."

Katya knew she should probably stop, she could feel Saul urging her to shut up, but she just couldn't. Her self-control had always left much to be desired and once her temper was kindled there was usually little anyone else could do about it other than letting it burn out. She had always feared the possibility that the returned leaders would decline to help them, but Uncle Saul had assured her time after time that they would. He'd told her that they were so supremely honorable and ethical that they would surly rise to the occasion. The implications of Laura's sudden outburst had been enough to incite one of Katya's biggest worries and enough to smite out whatever was left of her childhood fantasies of the woman in front of her. Somewhere inside herself she knew the latter was what had thrown her into such a fury.

"I guess now that you feel you have no stake in this go-around things have changed," she continued with her accusations. " And I guess it figures! You know where you're going when this life is over, so why should you care what happens to the rest of us? You don't. You sure are a far cry from the benevolent leader I grew up hearing about." Katya added with a cattish cock of her head.

" Katya, that's enough!" Saul ordered with a fist to a nearby stainless steel counter. " Go wait outside!"

Katya was out of the lab hatch before the reverberation of the metal ceased.

"Permission to join her, Sir," Alexi gruffly requested.

" Just go! " Saul shouted, " And don't you go too far, you're on duty ," he scolded at Alexi's back.

Before Blazer could even finish opening his mouth Saul stopped him.

" Don't you dare even ask my permission, Lieutenant! You stay right there! " Saul ordered, now more than embarrassed and enraged by their behavior.

Blaze nodded and straightened his posture.

Ellen looked at Laura and Bill and then back at Saul before shaking her head.

"Well, it's a good thing I don't need your frakking permission," she muttered as she walked off to follow the two officers.

A few lab workers had come to gawk at whatever was causing the uproar, mostly concerned over the safety of their equipment. When Saul noticed the gathering he ordered them back to work and they quickly dispersed.

An awkward silence filled the room for a moment. Laura ran a frustrated hand through her hair. With a glance over at the remaining lieutenant who intentionally averted eye contact with her she decided to speak.

"Look, Saul, I didn't mean to get everyone so…"

"No, Laura, that wasn't your fault," Saul interrupted. "I apologize for all of them," He said shaking his head. "To you too, Bill. It just..." Saul squinted and rubbed at his forehead for a moment before he went on. "I don't mean to make excuses for them, for any of them, especially Katya. She shouldn't have spoken to you like that, Laura and I promise she's going to hear a hell of a lot more from me later."

"Saul this is obviously a sensitive subject,” Laura interjected. “Maybe I should have seen that before.”

Saul put out a palm to stop her.

"No, no. Kat didn't have any right to get on you the way she did. It's just...tensions are high. They're all so hopeful, but they're also scared that this won't work, and well, you insinuating that it might not, it made Kat flip her lid. And Ellen, well she's worked on this longer than you can comprehend. I've never made excuses for my wife before and I won't start now. She owes you both an apology for sure...but I also know she feels the weight of thousands of people depending on her," Saul tried to explain, his head bowed down toward his boots.

"Saul," Bill tried to speak, but Saul looked up and began again.

"I didn't want to do this to you, Bill- to either of you. I'm sorry that this is the way it had to be but…I'm not sorry for doing it 'cause... I believe same as they do. You're their only hope." 

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 126B: ASSIGNMENT; ROSLIN/ADAMA

YEAR: 2315

When the group left Beta's lab Saul had decided that one visit was enough for the day. They would make the trip to Delta another time. The ride back to Alpha was immensely uncomfortable. Even Blazer's usual bright disposition had been snuffed out by the day's less than amicable interactions. The air inside the Shuttle-Hawk was thick with tension and mostly silent except for the occasional use of the com system by the two pilots. When they boarded Alpha Station Saul dismissed Lt. Bishop and then sternly ordered Katya to meet him in his quarters. She'd tossed her helmet to the deck floor and stormed off with an angry huff. Ellen took her leave soon after which left Saul to escort Bill and Laura to their new quarters with only Alexi in tow as their watchful yet obviously reluctant guard.

As Alexi watched the door and awaited another marine to relieve him Saul showed Bill and Laura around their new home. He'd done his best to give them a tour. He showed them how to adjust the temperature in the head and how to use every light and switch in the cabin. He gave them a crash course on using their image screens and cabin tablets to project data and access to the network. Saul made sure their cooler was stocked and showed them how to use their cuffs to order more substantial meals. He let them know that they could call him at any time if need be and assured them that there would be a guard outside of their hatch around the clock. He promised that he would check on them in the morning. After making sure that they seemed somewhat comfortable he'd excused himself for the night.

He was gone and Bill and Laura were finally alone together for the first time since they’d resurrected. At first the quiet of being by themselves in the cabin was strange. It was eerie. Familiar yet so foregine. The quiet peaceful settings were at least a welcome change from the hectic trip they’d taken, but soon the sudden solitude left them with no choice but to truly absorb the last few days and all that was happening to them. Once Laura allowed herself to sit and relax on the cabin's sofa she couldn't help but let her tears fall. Bill was a comfort to her but even he couldn't stop the physical release of his frustrations. When it seemed their tears had dried Bill was the first to speak. He held Laura in his arms on the sofa and spoke softly into her ear.

"You know Laura, I can't remember if I was able to hold you like this where we were before. Something tells me that existence was beyond this sort of thing...but I won't say it isn't wonderful to be able to do it now," he confessed, kissing her temple.

She smiled sadly and only hummed in response.

"I really don't know where we were before," he continued, but I know I'd go to Hades if that's what it took to be by your side. We're together here and no matter what this place brings us at least that's true," he told her as he gently stroked her hair.

"This is really happening isn't it, Bill?"

"Yeah, Laura, it is and I think- I think the sooner we stop fighting it the better.”

Laura sighed beside him.

"It just doesn't seem fair. We've been down this road already. To be asked to do it again…" she trailed off, unable to complete the thought. 

She nuzzled her face into Bill’s shoulder, smelling the familiar scent of him. 

"You’re right, Laura. It’s not fair at all, but then was it really fair the first time?" He posed.

Laura didn't answer as she listened to Bill's heart beating alive in his chest.

In her silence he kept talking.

"You know, I was talking to Saul this morning and he said something to me; something that's been helping me put this in perspective today. He said that we've been resting in peace for about two hundred thousand years, but that he and Ellen, well, they haven't gotten to rest yet," he told her as she somewhat stiffened in his arms.

"It seems like they chose this path, Bill. They could have stayed on the surface with everyone else," she said sitting up beside him.

"Laura, I don't think they chose this path anymore than we chose our paths before. They feel this duty has been given to them by some higher force and I know you remember what that felt like…to be called to help," Bill said as he saw her eyes soften in consideration. "They didn't want another civilization of people to be chased away from their home and so they helped where they could. From the sounds of it these people would be long gone already if it weren't for the Tigh's intervention. They haven't just been helping to bring us back. Their basestar, their Raiders; they help these people, these descendants of our own people, to survive out here, and they've been doing it for longer than either one of us can imagine.”

Laura shook her head in resignation.

"I just don't know what we could possibly do to help, Bill," she said at a loss.

"I don't either, Laura, but I know that Saul is still my friend. Even after thousands of years and my own death, he's my friend and if this is what he needs to finally be able to rest peacefully one day then I'm going to try to help him."

Laura hung her head in her hands and rubbed her tired eyes with her palms before looking back to Bill.

"I suppose you're right. What choice do we have other than…" she trailed off when she saw the uneasy look on Bill's face.

"Laura, is that really something you're considering?" he asked, looking concerned. 

She didn't need to say it for him to know just what she was referring to.

When Saul had first mentioned it everything was so fresh and raw that Laura hardly had the wherewithal to truly think about it. Over the day or so that followed she couldn't say that it hadn't crossed her mind a few times; a quick way out of this mess and a return to a peaceful existence. She wasn't sure if she had truly considered it as more than just a concept, but she could tell even mentioning it in passing had upset Bill.

"No...No I guess that I wouldn't," she said trying to make the worry in his eyes go away. "I fought so hard to hang on to the last body I had. I don't think I could ever purposely destroy another." She was glad when he looked somewhat relieved. "Bill, I didn't really mean what I said in the lab today. I wouldn't refuse to help. Not if I knew that I could," Laura admitted.

"I know you didn't mean that. That's not who you are," he said taking her hands in his. "Ellen is just...well you heard Saul, she's just dedicated so much to this. You can't blame her for getting defensive. You can blame her for taking cheap shots, but hey, what do you expect? Brilliant Cylon engineer or not, it's still Ellen Tigh," Bill said with a chuckle.

Laura smiled and rolled her eyes.

"She certainly is and it seems she's passed some of her less than gracious attributes on to that daughter of theirs or whatever she is."

"Oh you mean the one who almost swallowed you frakking whole in the lab today?" Bill teased.

"That's the one."

"I don't know Laura. Saul says she's usually a good kid. Says she's had sort of a rough life so far. I think you just ruffled her feathers today. To be honest none of those kids looked very happy with you after that outburst of yours. You even upset that big jolly pilot," he laughed getting a sardonic smirk from Laura in return. "I think the girl's just scared," he added.

"I think she's a frakking brat," Laura said lying back down on the sofa with her head in Bill's lap.

He resumed running his fingers through the locks of her hair.

"She might very well be. She's a cute kid though. It's funny to see Saul get after her. Maybe I just like seeing him as a father. You know back on Galactica after he lost that baby with with the Six, I think he really started to think about what he'd missed out on."

Bill regretted the words that came out of his mouth almost immediately. He certainly hadn't meant to imply anything or insult Laura's own choices. In truth he had no idea what her feelings on the matter had been. They'd had such little precious time with each other in their last lifetime that it had never come up. If he'd known during their time within their last plane of existence he couldn't recall. When she didn't seem to have much reaction to it he went on.

"Anyway, it's just kind of funny to hear him complain about her. Reminds me of how he used to bitch about Starbuck, only this one's got the added advantage of having him wrapped around her finger. You know he keeps photos of her as a little girl on that stupid cuff of his," he said reaching down and touching Laura's wrist. "He loves her. He's proud of her. Showed me a sweet picture of her when she couldn't have been more than eight and his eyes lit up.”

"I guess that's sort of sweet," Laura answered with a yawn. "She's still a brat, though."

Bill nodded with a smile.

"That's alright, Laura. I don't think her opinion of you is much higher," he said patting her on the thigh. "Come on, let's get some sleep," he suggested, encouraging her to stand. "Besides it's been a long time since I've been able to take you back to my rack," he teased standing and embracing her.

Laura held Bill tightly for a few moments before they decided to find more suitable sleeping attire. As Saul had promised the cabin held everything they needed. They were easily able to locate clothing and the head was stocked with more toiletries and cosmetics than they needed. When looking through the top drawer of the full wardrobe Laura noticed the books placed neatly above it. They seemed oddly out of place. She couldn't recall having seen even a single sheet of paper since being aboard and the book's construction looked somewhat rudimentary. The cover and its interior pages were all made from the same smooth white paper with the same basic black text. Even its binding was little more than some waxy adhesive. She thought for a moment that they reminded her of some of the old manuscripts she'd collected at auctions back on the Colonies. She read the titles which were plainly printed on the front covers; The Maltese Falcon and Dawn on Delta. When Bill called her to bed she left them there, too tired to look into them much further.

As they lay in their new rack with only a dim light still glowing above them Bill propped his head up and stared down over Laura. He smiled but didn't say anything.

"What?" She said laughing at his somewhat dreamy expression.

"Nothing, it's just…you look younger," he told her. "Just a little, but you do."

She rolled her eyes and smiled sheepishly.

"Well, so do you," she pointed out and he chuckled.

He'd seen it in the mirror that morning. He did look younger than he remembered, though it wasn't by much. What was more noticeable to him as he showered earlier in the day were the missing signs on his body of the life he’d once lived. His face was far less weathered, his scars were all gone. The large surgical incision from when he'd been shot by Sharon was completely absent. As if Laura could read his mind she reached over to run her hand down his unmarked chest.

"I sort of miss it," she told him.

"I sure don't," He kidded, getting a sleepy hum from Laura in return.

Bill reached to the head of the rack to turn the light switch off and then scooped her closer to him.

"You've always been beautiful, no matter what body you're in," he told her sweetly.

"Go to sleep, Bill," She teased, snuggling up closer to him showing her appreciation of his sentiment.

"Laura?" Bill asked through a yawn.

"Hmm?"

"That goofy pilot, Blaze, Blazer, Bishop, whatever...does he remind you of anyone?”

It had been bugging him all day.

"Mmm no," Laura replied.

Bill shrugged off the notion and kissed the back of her ear.

"Together," he reminded her before he let himself succumb to sleep.




Chapter 10: Chapter 10

Chapter Text

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 119B: ASSIGNMENT; TIGH

YEAR: 2315

"She sure as frak is going to apologize, Ellen," Saul hollered from their sofa where he sat lacing up his boots.

Ellen was still in their bedroom getting dressed for the day.

"Well, I'll talk to Laura today," She called from the other room.

Maybe once I apologize then Katya will be more inclined to follow my lead."

"You better," He groused under his breath.

To say their trip to Beta hadn't gone well would be an understatement. Saul knew if things were going to go according to plan their relationship with all of the resurrected leaders needed to be more than just amicable. Saul and Ellen needed these people to trust them.

"I heard that Saul," Ellen informed him as she entered the room shrugging on a cardigan. "And I already told you I would apologize to both Bill and Laura. I'll do it today when we invite them to dinner. It'll be like a peace offering," She suggested taking a seat beside him. "That reminds me; I need Alexi to come over here and move some stuff around, set up the table," She considered as she looked around their cabin. It was going to be a tight squeeze but they had done it plenty of times before. They always managed to make it work. "Besides it'll be like a little party tonight. There will be booze. Everyone will be in a better mood. You watch."

"Alright. That's fine but you need to watch what you say in front of Katya. You know damn well that when you go after someone she takes up for you without a second thought. I know 'cause I'm usually on the frakkin' receiving end of it."

Saul picked up one of their cabin tablets from where it sat on the cushion beside him and swiped a few times until Alpha's flight schedule projected above it. He wasn't about to ask Katya or Blazer to pilot today's trip out to Delta Station so he needed to find an available shuttle and team.

"Oh, Saul if you think Kat was just going after Laura because I did then you're crazy. She was offended and she was hurt. All the kids were. Even Blaze and you know how hard it is to dampen that boy's spirit. Maybe I didn't help matters but it's not like Laura had zero blame in it. Now, I understand that the woman was obviously overwhelmed and that's why after a night's rest I have cooled down and I'm fully ready to offer my apology but Katya…I don't know, Saul. After the reaming out you gave her last night she's not just mad at Laura. She's mad at you, she's mad at herself, she's mad at the situation and you know what she's like when she gets like that. The kid is stubborn and I'll tell you another thing, Saul; that's not something she got from Isakoff or you or me. Ironically enough she gets that from Bill and Laura. Those two are the most stubborn people I've ever met," Ellen said as she repeatedly poked her husband's arm for effect.

After Saul had shown Bill and Laura to their cabin and left them for the night he'd come back to his own quarters to find Katya waiting as he'd instructed. He took the day's frustrations out on her and she'd done a hell of a job going right back at him. Ellen had given up playing referee after a few rounds and eventually Katya stormed out before he could dismiss her. Saul had so badly wanted her to make a good impression on Bill. He wanted it not just for her sake but so that when it came time for him to tell Bill who she was the man could take solace in knowing his friend had raised his daughter well. Saul understood her emotions but he wouldn't condone her actions.

"Yeah well Katya better change her attitude soon. She's on my last nerve. This is going about as badly as it could. Just how the hell am I supposed to tell them who she is now? That woman has no idea she just went head to head with her own kid," Saul said as he swiped away the schedule and tossed the tablet on to the small table in front of them.

Ellen's mood quickly soured at the mention of Saul's impending revelation. She stood and walked over to their kitchenette to pour herself a glass of ice water. It was an excuse to get out of his line of vision. She wouldn't be able to hide the look on her face from him.

"Have you thought much about that Saul?" She asked dropping some ice into her drink and then turning to look over at him.

He was still on the sofa with his back to her but she could see his shoulders slump as he thought about his answer. She often wondered if he was dreading having to reveal Katya's parentage just as much as she was. Katya had been only theirs for so long. Though she was grown and out of the house now they still thought of her as their child and she so obviously still needed them. Ellen wondered if Saul would eventually start to feel the same pangs of jealousy that already plagued her. She asked him about it on occasion but his answer was always the same. He would always say that his feelings weren't the point. He claimed telling Bill the truth and Katya knowing her true parents was all that mattered.

"Are you kidding" He scoffed. "I've been thinking about it for over fifteen years. Ever since I found out who the kid was," He said trying to avoid her question.

"No Saul, you know what I mean. I mean, when. When are you going to tell them?"

Ellen took some tiny sips from her drink. She knew there was somewhat of a deadline in place. Once the Agathons were downloaded Blaze had no plans to hide his identity. After Bill and Laura found out who he was they were bound to get suspicious. Besides, most people on board knew exactly who and what Katya was. The four descendants weren't exactly a station-wide secret. Years ago when news of their existence had first leaked out it had been one of the biggest scandals in Orbit history. Once Bill and Laura started conversing with more and more people on board they would find out in no time.

"I don't know, Ellen. Soon. I almost slipped about Alexi yesterday morning," He admitted.

Ellen half snorted into her drink. She knew they would start having more and more close calls like that the longer they waited. The first happened in Med Ward the night Katya collapsed. Margot had been standing right there having chased her mother into the clinic. Thankfully no one seemed to notice her striking resemblance to D'Anna that night.

Ellen figured most of that had to do with the fact that Bill and Laura didn't know the Three had been cloned at that point. The rest was due to the confusion of all the commotion and sheer luck. After that they'd asked Margot to keep her distance until further notice. Ellen felt badly about it especially since she hated to keep Katya and Margot apart. They were so close and always seemed to even out each other's temperments much in the same way that Blazer and Alexi did. Margot had been more than understanding about the situation and agreed to stay off of Alpha Station until the cat was out of the bag so to speak.

"Don't you think Katya should have a say?" Ellen posed walking back to the sofa. At this point she knew she was just trying to be contrary.

"Yeah, right," Saul mocked, "Her say would be never, and you know that's not possible."

A knock at the entrance made them both jump a little. Maybe keeping the secret was starting to wear on their nerves just a tad more than they thought. When Ellen opened the hatch she was surprised to find Bill Adama standing there escorted by a marine.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 139B: ASSIGNMENT; ISAKOFF/PETROV

YEAR: 2315

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Katya said through a yawn as she passed by a semi conscious Blazer face-down on her sofa.

It wasn't an uncommon sight in the household but after the lashing her uncle had given her the night before Katya's morning mood was less than welcoming.

"Officer's quarters too loud. Couldn't sleep," Blazer mumbled.

"How's that my problem?" Katya said shuffling to grab a bottle of water from the cooler.

"Mm'lexi let me in. Blame him," Blazer said snuggling into a throw pillow.

"Thanks a lot, Alexi! Think you could have warned me? What if I wasn't dressed?!" Katya called loud enough for her husband to hear her in the shower.

A far off 'sorry' came from the direction of the head.

"Oo, that'd be a fun way to start the day," Blazer teased as he stretched out over the makeshift bed.

"Shut up, Blazer. It's morning. Whoever was snoring or banging in the barracks is probably long done. You can leave now," Katya said flicking her bottle cap in his direction.

It hit is back right between his broad shoulder blades and bounced off somewhere across the room.

"That's real nice, Cap'n. Guess you get that cheery disposition from your mom," Blazer needled.

Knowing that his comment would incite more than just a bottle cap to the back he tucked his head under the pillow. When she didn't respond he wondered if she had left the room and missed his jab. Before he could slip his head from its cushioned shelter he felt the ice cold stream of water splash on to his waste and trail down his backside. Blazer jumped up off of the couch, now startled wide awake by Katya's liquid ammunition.

"Holy shit that's cold!"

"She's not my mom," Katya said with cocky confidence as she tossed the now empty bottle to the lieutenant and walked off back into her bedroom.

Blazer stood in his saturated patrol tank and boxers and crushed the bottle he'd caught in his fist.

"Yeah, well it's hard to ignore the family resemblance. You're both so damn sweet," He called after her as he looked for something to dry himself with.

Katya returned with a towel and tossed it to him.

"Dry off and get out, Blaze," She instructed as she made her way to the kitchenette to grab a piece of fruit.

"Sorry, can't. I'm waiting for Alexi. We're heading over to the Tighs. I'm gunna help him move some furniture for your aunt's dinner tonight," Blazer informed as he did his best to towel off.

"Well there goes my appetite," She said as she discarded her hardly nibbled pear to the counter top. "Did you have to remind me?"

"Remind you of what?" Alexi asked as he made his way into the room freshly showered and sporting his tank and gym pants.

"The Tigh's dinner tonight," Blazer answered enjoying the look on Katya's face when he repeated it.

Alexi kissed Katya on the cheek and picked up her abandoned pear.

"Oh yeah," Alexi said taking a big bite, "That reminds me, Blaze. When I messaged Ellen to tell her you were coming to help lift she said to invite you to dinner," He informed as he chewed. He squinted when he noticed the state of Blazer's boxers. "Man, did you piss yourself?"

That got at least a smirk out of Katya.

"Your lovely wife's idea of a friendly wake up call," Blazer said tossing down the towel.

"Nice one, Koshka," Alexi winked at his wife.

She grinned proudly.

"You sure the colonel wants me at dinner?" Blazer asked.

Alexi finished his fruit in a few short bites and tossed core down the disposal. When he hit the switch he could tell by the sound it made that it was almost full. When cabin disposals were full residents had the responsibility of sending an alert message out for pick up. The contents were collected station wide and sent to Beta's agriculture department to be used as compost for fungi; one of their only non-hydroponic forms of produce. Alexi sent the alert out with a few swipes to his cuff before double checking Ellen's message.

"Yeah. Ellen says it was his idea," Alexi confirmed. "I guess he figured Katya and I wouldn't be much for polite conversation. Thinks you'll lighten the mood," Alexi rolled his eyes.

"He wants Blazer there to break up the tension? I must have really pissed that lady off," Katya beamed as she lifted herself up to sit on the counter.

In truth she was anything but proud of herself. Internally she was devastated at the way things had gone with Laura. She wasn't sorry for anything she'd said. She was just sorry that she had to say it at all. Every time she thought of the woman's words in the lab her anger swelled. Katya found it hard to believe that Laura couldn't understand the gravity of the situation which could only mean that she didn't care. She knew how much Saul and Ellen had put into the project. Katya wondered if Roslin's apparent aversion toward Ellen had fueled her response. The thought made her even more upset. She knew her aunt had more than a few faults but she loved her dearly and she would always defend her dedication and devotion to the project. Out of all the ways Katya had pictured Laura Roslin over the years she had never pictured her as someone who would dismiss an entire people over her own distaste for the situation. Wasn't this the woman who supposedly spent her dying days dedicated to serving her own people? Katya knew that she had probably idealized the woman in her head for a long time. Part of it had been wishful thinking and some of it her uncle's encouraging stories and descriptions. Either way Alexi had been right; she had set herself up for disappointment in a major way.

"Yeah well the commander is going to be there, so we all need to at least be somewhat civil," Alexi warned as he tossed Blazer an orange. "Come in uniform too," He added.

"Think I could get Xao to write me a sick note?" Katya half joked.

"Keep skipping meals and you'll end up with a real sick note. Yehst'," Alexi warned as he held out the fruit bowl for her.

She pushed it away.

He'd been extra worried about her since the fainting spell in Med Ward. He knew it had mostly been due to the shock of the moment but Tawny said her poor blood sugar had added to it. Katya never had a good appetite; a product of experiments conducted on all four of them as children. They had been used by their scientist parents to test an all supplemental diet for an extended period of time. The purpose of the research was in response to a Committee concern over what would happen to the people if Beta Station's grow-ops was somehow destroyed or badly damaged. It wasn't the only test done on the four children but it was one that caused some annoying and lasting ramifications. When the testing had ended the boys had no trouble returning to a solid diet but for some reason Margot and Katya had struggled and never truly adjusted to the change. The more Alexi offered his wife snacks and vitamins the more she refused. She was as stubborn as they came but when it came to Katya, Alexi had patience.

"Well I'm accepting Ellen's invitation. I'm not gunna miss round two," Blazer said popping a section of orange in his mouth. "Hey you guys, I have Beta Lab clearance. Want to watch the recording of yesterday?" He asked pointing to their image screen. "Let's pull it up on the network. Cap, I bet we could zoom in and see that little vein that pops out on your forehead when you get really angry."

Had he been serious they could have actually watched the entire scene unfold once again. Footage from the station's military labs was recorded constantly as was the case in many military locations aboard each station. Recorded data could be accessed by anyone with the right clearance going as far back as the year 2265. The entire project up until the recent Roslin-Adama download had been recorded on all stations in detail. Katya would sometimes pull up footage from before her father's death. Watching it she could relive the days she had spent with him as he worked diligently in the lab so excited for the future.

"How is this my life?" Katya satirically inquired palming her forehead.

"How is this any of our lives?" Her husband returned retrieving a bottle of water from the cooler and popping it open.

"When are you back on the board, Cap?" Blazer asked wiping some fruit juice from his stubbled chin.

"Not till Monday," She answered grimly.

"At least you're getting some R&R out of this," Blazer offered.

"You call this R&R?" Alexi scoffed on Katya's behalf.

"I'd rather be flying anyway," She added.

Blazer munched on another slice of fruit as he spoke.

"Never know, Cap. Tonight might not be so bad. Maybe Roslin's mood has changed after a good night's sleep out of Med Ward. I mean, I didn't like what she was spouting off about yesterday either but maybe if we're super friendly and convincing tonight she'll change her tune," Blazer suggested. "Besides I want to talk to Adama some more. I bet he and the Colonel could tell some crazy stories. Plus I like his voice. It's like gritty and smooth all at the same time. Kinda cool."

"How the fuck are you always so optimistic?" Katya complained, tossing her head back with exasperation.

"I have to be, Koshka. Around you guys especially. You two are a couple of melancholy fucks," Blazer stated as he walked over to toss away his orange peel. "And you feed into each other's bad arritudes. Sometimes I'm surprised you even convince yourselves to get out of bed in the morning." He said as he hit the disposal switch.

"Today I almost didn't," Katya wryly admitted with a smirk and a roll of her eyes as she slid off of the countertop and walked away.

Blazer took her spot.

"Well, Sergeant, are you gunna lend my happy ass some clothes? Or am I gunna have to move furniture around at the Tigh's looking like I wet the bed?"

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 119B: ASSIGNMENT; TIGH

YEAR: 2315

"Bill," Ellen happily greeted.

"Bill, is something wrong?" Saul quickly followed jumping up out of his seat.

"No, not really," Bill answered as Ellen gestured for him to enter.

She closed the hatch behind him leaving his security detail on the other side.

"Why didn't you message me, Bill? I would have come over if you needed something. Our trip over to Delta isn't for another couple of hours," Saul reminded, smotioning for Bill to take a seat on the sofa.

Ellen went into the kitchen fill a pitcher with some water and gather some glasses as the men took their seats.

"Yeah, I know, Saul. I can't figure this damn thing out," Bill complained looking at his cuff.

"I'll give you a better lesson today," Saul assured him. "I don't mean to keep you cooped up in your cabin, Bill. Its just that I'm not sure how I feel about you walking the halls alone just yet. People 'round here are mighty anxious to get a look at you. I mean military has their orders not to bug you. It shouldn't be so bad in this corridor but still, you never know," Saul explained.

"Saul, I'm not a godsdamn invalid. I wasn't alone either. There were two marines outside the hatch this morning. I left one with Laura and the other escorted me here. It was a three minute walk for frak sake." Bill contended as he leaned back into his seat on the sofa.

"Alright, alright, just keep your wits about you. You're the most valuable thing on this station right now," Saul informed him as Ellen leaned over to place a tray on the coffee table.

Bill was slightly annoyed by Saul's referral of him as a thing but he decided to let it pass. He had come for a reason.

"Thirsty, Bill?" Ellen asked with a smile. Bill politely thanked her with a simple nod but he avoided eye contact. She decided that she should just get her apology over with as soon as possible. "Bill, I want to let you know how sorry I am for some of the things I said on Beta yesterday. They were inappropriate and I really don't want our relationship to start back off on such an awful note," She offered ringing her hands in front of herself.

"Well thank you for that, Ellen. I know Laura's having some trouble adjusting to all of this but I appreciate you saying so."

"I mean it, Bill and I want to apologize to Laura too. In fact we want to invite you both to dinner here tonight with Commander Kaplan. Consider it an olive branch? We'd be so happy if you'd agree to join us," Ellen said following with her sweetest smile.

"There'll be booze," Saul interjected with a light fist to Bill's arm.

"In that case I'd love to," He accepted. "But I don't know about Laura," He amended, his smile fading. "In fact, Ellen, she's the reason why I'm here," Bill started as his brow fell.

"Bill, I promise I'm going to personally apologize to her too," Ellen insisted. "I'll do it before we head to Delta today. And Katya...well…uh we're working on it," She said with a nervous laugh.

Saul just grunted.

"No, Ellen, that's not it," Bill began again, "Laura actually sent me over here to get you, Ellen. She um…well she wasn't feeling well when she woke up and she was wondering if you'd mind heading over to our cabin," He explained.

Ellen looked at Saul who just shrugged.

"Oh, dear, well should I call Dr. Xao? I mean is she alright?" Ellen asked suddenly very worried over the state of one of their most precious assets.

No matter how much the woman got under Ellen's skin she was still, in essence, priceless to the project and the people of Earth Orbit. If Le Blanc got word that one of them was ill she would have Ellen's head.

"No, no nothing like that," Bill shook his head. "At least I don't think. Would you mind just heading down there though? Besides it might give you two a chance to talk," He suggested.

"Uh, of course. I'll go right now," Ellen hesitantly agreed. She had been set to apologize but she thought she'd have a few hours to mull over what she would say. She supposed she could improvise. "Saul, if I'm not back in the next hour just message me when you know our flight time," She instructed as she moved toward the hatch.

Looking back at Bill she noticed that he hadn't followed.

"Are you not coming, Bill?" She asked suspiciously.

"Uh, no. I think I'll stay here with Saul if that's alright," He said looking toward his friend.

"Fine by me," Saul affirmed.

Fabulous, Ellen thought; another one on one with Laura Roslin. She couldn't wait. Still, she was curious over what Laura could have summoned her for. This would be interesting, no doubt.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 126B: ASSIGNMENT; ROSLIN/ADAMA

YEAR: 2315

Laura had woken up feeling awful. The feeling only intensified once she was awake enough to register the nature of her ailment. The old familiar ache had started to gnaw within her during the early hours of the morning. At first she had tried to deny what she was feeling. She'd tossed and turned in the rack beside Bill trying to ignore it. She hoped she would fall back to sleep and wake up to find the pain had vanished. It hadn't worked. Eventually her fitfulness had woken Bill. With the addition of his incessant worried inquiries and the nagging discomfort of a problem which she could no longer ignore Laura had eventually fled to the privacy of the head. After an unreasonable amount of time behind the door, mostly spent in a state of denial and panic, Laura composed herself and emerged to find Bill sitting on the side of the rack anxiously waiting. With only a short and slightly awkward explanation she'd asked him to go retrieve Ellen. He'd washed up quickly and left the cabin in a somewhat jittery state which would have made her laugh had she not felt so utterly awful. After a hot shower and a change of clothes she was feeling moderately better. She found a bottle of mild pain killers in the head cabinet and took two while she awaited Ellen's arrival. To Bill's credit she hadn't waited very long. Laura heard Ellen's voice behind the hatch before she even knocked.

"Laura, it's Ellen. Are you alright in there?" She called through the door.

She really hated that she had to call on Ellen Tigh. They had never liked one another and now after their exchange of words on Beta station the two were on less than amicable terms. Ellen was just about the last person Laura cared to see so early in the morning but what choice did she have? She needed some answers and she needed help. Ellen was the only one she knew to ask.

Laura made her way to the hatch as quickly as she could and opened it just as Ellen was about to pound on it again.

"Oh, um, Laura," Ellen stuttered somewhat caught by surprised "Are you okay? Bill sent me."

Laura just nodded silently and motioned for Ellen to enter. She politely smiled at the marine outside before shutting the hatch and joining Ellen where she stood in front of the sofa.

Ellen looked Laura up and down. She seemed fine. No obvious signs of distress. What the heck was this about?

"Laura, what's wrong?" Ellen asked the other woman who stood with her arms crossed looking like she was ready to send someone to the principal's office. "Wait. If this is about what happened yesterday I want you to know that I fully apologize. You were upset and I know we have literally put the world on your shoulders over the last few days. I shouldn't have attacked you the way I did. And Katya, well, she's just scared and she's just so used to sticking up for me. I just…"

"Look, Ellen, I appreciate that but we were both upset. Why don't we just agree to forget it?" Laura offered cutting off Ellen's apologetic rambling. "Besides, that isn't why I asked you to come here."

Ellen folded her hands in front of herself and smiled.

"Forgetting about it sounds just fine to me," She agreed. "So, if you didn't call me here for another verbal throw down then what's the problem? You seem alright to me," She observed as she crossed her own arms mimicking Laura's prim stance.

Laura raised her eyebrows and let out a soft weary chuckle.

"Ellen, tell me something. How old is this body that you've…put me in supposed to be exactly?" Laura posed.

Ellen squinted at the question and licked at her lips.

"I don't know. It was really just an estimation. How old were you when you died?" Ellen shrugged.

Laura only glared in her direction.

Ellen sighed.

"I can't give you a better answer than that, Laura. I'm sorry. In reality that body was created about three decades ago. I told you before; in stasis we were able to slow down, speed up or stop the aging process artificially whenever we needed to. When it came close your download time Saul and I just tried to get you both as close as possible to how we saw you last without overshooting our mark. We couldn't go backwards if we accidentally overdid it. To be honest Laura, when you and I first met you were already sick. I had no way of knowing how much the cancer had already worn at you. I didn't know you before then," Ellen explained. "So, maybe I was a little generous in picking a physical stopping point when it came to your body but it can't be by much. Anyway, who cares? You look good. Great actually. What's the difference?" Ellen finished tossing her hands up and letting herself flop on to the sofa.

Laura slowly stepped closer to where Ellen now sat and looked down at her with an arched brow.

"The difference, Ellen, is that this body you've given me seems to still have a frakking menstrual cycle," Laura finally challenged.

Ellen stared up at Laura with wide eyes for a few long silent moments before bursting into laughter.

Laura rolled her eyes as she watched Ellen overcome by a fit of giggles.

"I'm glad you find this so funny," Laura said with a glare at the laughing woman.

"Oh my gods! You're frakking kidding, right?" Ellen balked with a snicker, "Please tell me you're joking, Laura," She added wiping some tears away from the corners of her eyes.

"I most certainly am not joking, Ellen and I don't think it's funny."

"Oh gods, Laura, it kind of is," Ellen posed slightly out of breath and trying to get Laura to see some humor in the situation. It wasn't working. "Okay, okay. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be so insensitive. It's been a few hundred thousand years for me," Ellen said with another chuckle.

"Yeah, me too," Laura came back at her as she sat across from Ellen on the surface of the coffee table.

"Are you sure, Laura? I mean how old were you when all that quit on you the last time?" Ellen said failing terribly at hiding her smile with a hand over her mouth.

"Well I guess I'm not sure but if I'm wrong, then I'm in a lot more trouble than I thought," Laura observed. "And I don't know; forty-seven, forty-eight? It was over a year before the fall of the Colonies. I can't remember exactly."

"Okay then, let's just take it easy," Ellen said sitting up in her seat. "So then we can't be that far off. You may have a few less crows feet but I didn't go crazy. You're no spring chicken. Maybe it was brought on by stress? Maybe it will only last a few months," Ellen optimistically suggested.

Laura leaned over with her elbows on her knees and her head in her palms. She let out a low groan.

"Oh, it's not that bad, Laura. Maybe the lab can figure something out. I'm sorry. I really am. I tried my best but it was my mistake and I'll make sure you're taken care of," Ellen assured her. "Either way, we should probably get you over to Dr. Tawny right away to be safe."

"Back to the infirmary?" Laura winced.

"Well you can still walk, can't you? I'm not going to ask her to do a cabin call for this," Ellen teased.

Laura shrugged. She wasn't looking forward to heading back there and she was more than just a little embarrassed.

"C'mon," Ellen encouraged as she moved off of the sofa. "I'll just tell Bill and Saul to head to Delta Station without us. I know you didn't want to go anyway," She said swiping at her station cuff. "So, did you uh, tell Bill?" She asked with a snort.

"Yeah, Ellen, I did," Laura sighed. "I had to. He knew something was up and I knew he wouldn't let it go without an explanation," She told her.

Ellen bit her lip trying like hell not to smile. Looking up from her cuff she shook her head at Laura and smirked.

"Let's go. Tawny will figure it out and you'll get some rest. It will be fine. Then later tonight you and Bill are going to come over for dinner and drinks," Ellen said matter-of-factly as Laura stood and the two made their way to the hatch.

"Dinner? Ellen, I don't know if I feel up to that tonight," Laura protested.

"Oh yes you are. I've seen you hold a press conference two steps away from being on your death bed. You can make it through a dinner party with cramps," Ellen joked.

"Ellen, I'm so close to changing my mind about forgetting our little tiff yesterday," Laura warned.

"Lighten up, Laura," Ellen said as she opened the hatch. "You know this reminds me of when I had to bring Katya in for her first 'grown up' visit with the doctor. Maybe later you and I can braid each other's hair and talk about the birds and the bees," She added with a wink.

"Ellen, do you really think it's wise to frak with someone who has suddenly become hormonal for the first time in two millennia?"

If Ellen was at all intimidated it was masked by her complete amusement over the situation.

"Follow us, handsome," Ellen instructed the marine guard as he closed the hatch behind them and they started to walk on.

LOCATION: DELTA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

MILITARY LABORATORY FACILITY

YEAR: 2315

Saul had a hell of a time arranging a flight out to Delta. At first they had tried to stick them with a couple of rooks but Saul wasn't about to trust Bill Adama's safety to some bonehead nuggets. With some rearranging and a few unpopular direct orders he was able to get them a proper escort team by mid-afternoon. Without Laura and Ellen along for the trip the day had been much less tense than the last. Though Bill had been somewhat distracted and worried about Laura, Saul had done his best to assure him that no matter what their personal relationship might be, Laura's health and safety would always be Ellen's number one priority. Saul's reassurance and Ellen's frequent updating messages had been enough to keep Bill placated during most of the trip.

The two old friends were able to reconnect a bit. Saul taught Bill about Orbit Patrol's military protocol and about the engines used to propel the Falcons and Hawks used in combat. Bill was surprised a few times to find that he was actually enjoying himself. Little by little he was starting to allow himself to laugh at Saul's jokes. It helped as he tried to accept his new surroundings. The day had gone exceptionally well until after they had arrived in Delta's military lab. As Saul expected he would be, Bill was still uneasy around the stasis chambers. He couldn't blame him. He knew seeing the lifeless bodies not only spoke of what was to come but also reminded Bill of what it had taken to get him there. Knowing that a clone of your body had been floating naked in a tank for over thirty years under the observation of strangers had to be difficult. Saul figured that the occupants of the Delta chambers would trigger different emotions for Bill than seeing Helo and Athena had. Though Anders had been one of Bill's pilots, he had also been one of the Final Five. The last time Bill saw him he had sent the boy into the sun to die. His reaction to D'Anna was hard to read. Their relationship with the Cylon Three had been a complicated one and the knowledge that she was there as Kara's replacement hung thick in the air around her tank. Bill stared solemnly at the site before him. He asked questions now and then which Saul did his best to answer.

"So they will be the last to download," Bill observed. "Any particular reasoning for the order of things?"

Saul shook his head and rubbed at his chin.

"Not really. Everything involving the project has always been carried out in the order of creation. You and Laura are always first, then Helo and Athena. Had Baltar and Caprica survived they would come before Anders and D'Anna," Saul explained.

Bill furrowed his brow at the mention of the missing bodies.

"What happened to them?" He decided to ask turning from the chambers. He knew the bodies had been destroyed but the details as to what happened had been kept vague by both Saul and Ellen so far.

"Like, I told you, there was an attack on Gamma," Saul started. "The bots, the androids that occupy the surfice, the ones we are fighting against did it. Their version of mechanical humanoids; ones you could compare to Cylon centurions, boarded the station one day. They don't have skin jobs thank the gods. They don't have any synthetic organics as far as we know. They mostly exist on the surface as a network of software controlling almost every mechanism on the planet that ever had as much as a calculator programmed on to it," Saul went on as Bill listened intently. "The whole Orbit system used to get attacked a lot more before we brought the basestar in range. It still happens on occasion but most of the combat is carried out right about where the planet's atmosphere ends. We try like hell not to let them get any closer than that. Anyway a few years ago some of those bots were able to infiltrate Gamma Station. Took out almost fifty people on their way to the lab. They are ugly sons-a-bitches too. I know centurions in any stage of their development have never been too pleasing to look at but these things, well they creep the hell out of me. They're smaller than centurions. Thin and lanky, big rounded heads with no visible eyes to speak of but they shoot three different kinds of deadly ammunition with incredible precision and accuracy."

Saul's description was enough to make Bill's skin crawl. He hoped like hell he'd never have to see one for himself.

"They stormed Gamma's lab, killed the staff off in under two minutes and then blasted the hell out of both tanks. It was a frakkin' blitzkrieg. These labs are under continual surveillance. I've seen the footage. Even if both bodies hadn't been shot to hell there would have been no saving them. The tanks were depressurized when the first bullets hit the glass. Without secondary life support they would have been unsalvageable before anyone got to them," Saul stopped for a moment and looked back at the chambers.

"Similar attacks had happened twice before that. Ellen told you about one yesterday. Dr. Bishop and his team; they gave their lives to save the Agathons."

"And the other time?" Bill asked.

Saul inhaled deeply before answering and looked back at Bill.

"They were after you and Laura. Marines got to lab before the bots were able to get to your chambers but they had already killed more than half of the lab staff including your creator, Dr. Isakoff, Katya's father." Saul looked down at his boots as he continued. "He used to take her to work with him all the time. She was there with him that day. When word of the coming ambush got to the lab he hid her in a supply closet before the hatch was breached. The kid heard the whole thing. Saw some of it too. We never figured out just how much she witnessed. She was just seven years old," Saul said trying to shake the image out of his head.

He hated to think of Katya going through the awful ordeal. For years after she was plagued by nightmares and horrifying memories. Saul could recall countless nights when he and Ellen had stayed up trying to soothe the girl back to sleep.

"Anyway, after that Ellen and I moved aboard Alpha permanently. We felt better about the safety of your bodies being close by. We took in Katya right away and we've been aboard ever since."

Bill felt his teeth clenching together like a vice. The description of Saul's story painted a gruesome picture. Not only had he and Laura's bodies been moments away from being obliterated, but people had lain down their lives to stop it from happening. Even more sickening, it had all been witnessed by a terrified little girl. Suddenly Bill thought Katya's outburst toward Laura made a hell of a lot more sense. Her father had sacrificed his life so that they could be here one day to carry out the mission set for them. He could see now why Laura's words had incited such rage in the young woman.

"That girl's been through a lot," Bill stated.

Saul nodded slowly.

"Yeah, she has."

"Saul, you and Ellen seem like you've done your best with that kid. I can't speak for Laura!but I won't hold yesterday against her," Bill offered.

"I appreciate you saying that, Bill." Saul said with a small smile.

"Hey, father to father, I understand. After Lee, Zak and Kara, believe me I've seen and heard it all," Bill laughed with a hand to Saul's shoulder. "Sometimes kids say things that you'd never dreamed they'd ever say. I found that in the end how proud I was of each of them had less to do with what they'd ever said and more to do with what they'd done."

As the men stood there the wheel of the lab's hatch creaked and opened. When they turned to see who had entered Saul went white a sheet. It was Margot.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR C

MED WARD

YEAR: 2315

"You can sit back up, Ms. Roslin," Tawny instructed.

As the doctor walked over to the counter to wash up Laura did her best to situate herself in a more comfortable and modest position. When she and Ellen had made it to Med Ward the younger Dr. Xao had been waiting for them. Laura assumed Ellen had sent a message to Tawny during their walk over though she hadn't noticed. She had been too distracted over her current predicament to pay much attention to her surroundings. Now that it had been days since the download the clinic was once again filled with military patients. With discretion in mind Tawny had led Laura to one of only two private rooms in the entire infirmary. Laura was relieved to be behind a door and not a flimsy curtain for once. Ellen had stayed outside promising she would be there to take Laura back to her quarters once they were through.

"Well, you're right," Tawny said walking back over to the examining table. She carried a tablet with her. Taking a seat on the stool beside the exam table she turned the device on. "Just Mother Nature rearing her bitchy head again," She joked with a smile.

Laura wondered how much more mortifying the day could possibly get.

"Are you sure?" She cringed.

"Yes, Ma'am. I see no signs of cysts or internal damage. I actually gave you a pelvic before you downloaded. That was just a few days ago. Had there been any abnormalities I would have seen them then," Tawny informed her.

That's how much more mortifying the day could get, Laura thought. Now she had that lovely picture in her mind. She wondered just what else her body had been through before she'd inhabited it. How many people had handled it, seen it unoccupied by a living soul? How many people had watched it as it floated in the same kind of chambers she watched the Agathons floating in?

"It's good news, Ms. Roslin. Believe me out of all the things it could have been this is the least serious. You're perfectly healthy. You're just uncomfortable," Tawny offered. "Would you scan your cuff over the screen please?" Tawny requested holding out the lucite glowing tablet.

Laura did as she was asked and soon an image of a document with her name on it hovered above the device.

"How long do you think I'm going to have to…deal with this?" Laura asked as Tawny seemed to add some notes to the projected file.

"Well, I can't really say. As Mrs. Tigh told you, we only have an estimation of the approximate relative age of your body. Technically it was created thirty-eight years ago but thanks to the aging process of the stasis chambers, that number is really no help to us. It means nothing," Tawny admitted. "We have to take environment into consideration as well. This body hasn't had the effects that any average person's would have over the course of a lifetime; stress, illness, diet. Genetically it's identical to your old one, but…"

"But, it's not my body," Laura finished.

"Well, it is now," Tawny shrugged. "You said yourself that gauging your own physical appearance the Tighs could have only been a few years off target at the most. I doubt it'll be too long until cessation of menses begins. Here's the thing, Ms. Roslin; I can put a stop to it if that's your decision but I don't recommend it in your case. We know that your body is genetically predisposed to developing breast cancer," She said before pausing.

Laura looked at the doctor waiting for her to continue.

"Yes. I'm aware. It killed me," Laura remarked not seeing the point.

"The issue is that hormone therapies used to alter the natural cycle are in some cases found to increase the risk of developing those types of cancer. Even without your former medical history available the lab was able to see that your DNA held an over 85% chance of an occurrence. You posses a gene mutation called BRCA1. It's genetic. With that in mind I want to air on the side of being extra cautious. We have a cure for it now, which I'm happy to tell you, but cancer is still hell for the body to go through so avoidance is always paramount," Tawny explained.

Laura was caught off guard when tears started to well up in her eyes. She dabbed at them with her thumb before they had a chance to fall and then cleared her throat.

"You can cure it?" She asked wanting to make sure she had heard the doctor correctly.

Watching her mother suffer with cancer and then going through it herself Laura never thought that she would live to hear those words. Baltar had found a so called cure. It had given her time but in the end it had come back.

"Yes, Ma'am," The doctor confirmed. LIn people without any other complicating factors the success rate is well over 90%, but like I said, better not to risk putting the body through it at all," Tawny repeated.

"This cure, doctor is it…is it cylon?"

Tawny put the tablet in her lap and took a moment before she answered.

"Ms. Roslin, there is something I feel like you should understand. Genetically you may be purely Colonial but humans here in Orbit, all of us whose families came from the surface; we are all partially Cylon. We're all partially Colonial-human as well and part native Earth-human too. We're an amalgamation of your descendants, the cylons your people brought with them and the humans that were already here. For much of our existence that fact was forgotten. Now that we are aware of it once again I feel like it's something that's always important to remind ourselves of. If you're asking if the cure came from the Tighs or their basestar then the answer is no. I know that your last body was treated once with a dose of Cylon-Colonial hybrid blood from what I understand. Our current treatment is nothing like that, if it makes you feel any better," Tawny finished and picked up the tablet again.

Laura understood the doctor's explanation but she had a feeling the true gravity of its meaning was going to take longer to sink in.

"Now I guess this is as good of a time as any to get some information since you're already here," The doctor continued. "Though most of your former medical history; things like broken bones or getting the measles aren't relevant to this body we would still like to have some history on record. Things that may still affect this body like family history or former allergies that might be helpful to have on file. Your DNA analysis from the lab gave us decent projections but it would help to know if you remember anything in particular that might be good for us to know."

Laura shrugged as she tried to think of information that could be helpful. She really just wanted to get up, get dressed and get the hell out of the ward.

"My mother died of breast cancer too. My maternal grandmother was diabetic. I used to be allergic to pollen but after I left the Colonies my allergies never bothered me again," Laura recalled. She stopped and shook her head at a loss. She had no desire to continue so she gave up trying to remember. She was so tired. "I'm sorry if that's not very helpful. It's been a long day so far. I might be able to think of more later on."

Tawny nodded in understanding.

"That's perfectly alright, Ms. Roslin. I want you to know that the body you're in now has always been in excellent condition and still is," The young doctor informed her. "And I plan on helping you keep it that way," She said as she swiped through Laura's records that had been kept by the lab. "Oh here's something you should probably know about it." Tawny stood to show Laura the screen's projection and pointed to a section labeled; procedures."They removed your tonsils and adenoids in the lab over twenty years ago," Tawny informed pointing to a box that read Adenoidectomy/ Tonsillectomy. "If I remember hearing correctly from my dad, it was a precautionary procedure done on all of the bodies. You were taken out of stasis and put on life support relatively often for things like chamber maintenance. The frequent intubation would often irritate the throat tissue. The glands were removed to prevent recurring infection."

Laura listened to Tawny speak as she scanned the form in front of her. Okay, so she had no tonsils. Tonsils weren't important were they? Just as Tawny went to swipe the document to its next page something on the file caught Laura's attention.

"Doctor, can you swipe back?" She asked sitting up straighter on the table.

"Something wrong?" Tawny asked.

"Well, yes. I think that file has an error on it."

Without thinking Tawny swiped back to the previous page.

"Right there," Laura pointed to the section labeled 'procedures'. "The box that says Live Births. It's checked off and set to one."

As Tawny's eyes zeroed in on the words she thought she felt her heart stop cold in her chest. How could she have been so careless? She might as well just drop dead there in the examining room because there were about six people who were going to be gunning for her anyway if she didn't think fast.

"Oh," Tawny laughed, "I see it. You know what? I must have accidentally clicked it up from zero when I was swiping," She lied. Her brain felt like scrambled mush and she couldn't tell if Laura was suspicious of her story or not. She just kept smiling and hoping that Katya would have the decency to knock her out cold before she started breaking bones. "It's been an exciting few days but I think I would remember if you'd come in for that," Tawny tried to cover with a joke. She temporarily set the number to zero in front of Laura and then quickly shut the tablet down. "Speaking of that, I'll be right back and we'll get you fitted for a prevention implant," She said trying her best to gage the woman's facial expression.

"Prevention implant?"

"Yes. I assume you want one," Tawny answered.

"I...uh...Is that really nessesary?"

"It's more of a precaution," Tawny shrugged. "Due to your current state we have to assume that you're ovulating. That doesnt mean that anything could result of it at this stage but better safe than sorry."

Laura cringed and pinched at the bridge of her nose. Her cheeks went warm. She just wanted to disappear.

Tawny couldnt tell what the women was thinking. She could only hope that she'd already forgotten about the stupid file mishap.

"It's a quick procedure. It shouldnt cause much more discomfort than you're already feeling. Might as well get it over with now. I'll get things ready if that's okay?"

Satisfied once Laura nodded, Tawny left the room to find Ellen. After frantically scanning the area she found her sitting across the ward in a chair engrossed in whatever she was looking at on her station cuff.

"What the hell's the matter with you, Doc?" Ellen said looking up from her wrist." You look sicker than half the people you're treating in here."

"Please, don't kill me, Ellen," Tawny winced.

LOCATION: DELTA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

MILITARY LABORATORY FACILITY

YEAR: 2315

As the two men stood face to face with a stunned Margot, Saul's mind ran through all of his possible options but none of them seemed right. Before he could settle on a reaction Margot spoke.

"Sorry, Colonel. I didn't know you'd be in here," She explained nervously.

They had told her stay off of Alpha but they hadn't warned her that they would be boarding Delta. Since she'd helped Katya to fix up Roslin and Adama's cabin Margot had been thinking more and more about her own upcoming experience. Her mother had been of little help when she'd asked her for advice on the situation. For the last few days she had been visiting the lab when she had down time and she knew her mother wouldn't be in. She thought that coming to see her birth parents more often would help her asses her own feelings and what her future might look like with them in it. She hadn't meant to cause any trouble.

"That's alright, Specialist." Saul said and cleared his throat. "Not your fault," He added.

She just nodded in response.

Before he could decide whether to introduce her or dismiss her she gave him a salute, turned around and left the lab. The whole encounter lasted about thirty seconds. Maybe Bill hadn't even noticed what she looked like, Saul considered. Maybe there was no problem. His hopes were dashed once he dared to look at the man beside him. Bill's eyes were bugged out of his skull and Saul could tell he was grinding his teeth. He could even see the veins in his neck starting to pulse.

"Bill," Saul started but he was cut off.

"Who or… what was that?" Bill said through gritted teeth.

Saul inhaled deeply and considered his answer. He wouldn't lie but he wouldn't give Bill any extra information yet if he didn't have to.

"Bill, that was Margot. She's a soldier, a communications engineer here on Delta."

"And why does she look so frakking much like the woman in this tank?" Bill hissed as he angrily pointed toward D'Anna's chamber.

Saul felt like he had been backed into a corner. What else could he do? This wasn't how he wanted it to happen but there didn't seem to be any way out of it.

"Bill..."

"Saul, if there are other copies of these bodies I want to know about them now. Don't frak with me! If this is some cylon offshoot project where you're trying to bring back anything resembling a resurrection ship I want nothing to do with it! You told me why I was brought back here and I believed you," Bill sneered.

"No, Bill, it's not. It's nothing like that. That isn't it."

"So are there copies of all the bodies then? Is there another version of me? One of Helo? Another Anders? I don't like this, Saul!" Bill warned getting more and more heated as he moved in closer toward the other man.

"Bill, you have to believe me when I tell you that's not the case. You're it, that body, that's it. When it dies you die and the same will be true for D'Anna once she's awake," Saul promised. "I swear on everything, that's the truth. After this I don't plan having anything to do with the resurrection of another soul for the rest of my godsdamn days!"Saul barked back in Bill's face.

Bill took a few steps back and shook his head. He was obviously confused.

"Bill, listen. Some things went on here before Ellen and I came to live within the station system. Things we had no part in and no knowledge of, things we put a stop to. The girl you saw was a product of illegal usage of cylon Three DNA that we provided but that girl is not D'Anna. She has her own identity, her own soul and if I'd just shot her point blank in the head with my side arm she'd drop down dead right here in the lab, same as you or I would. She wouldn't resurrect and she wouldn't go back to another waiting body. I promise you that's true, Bill."

Saul knew he was walking a fine line, but he couldn't let things unfold this way.

"You believe me don't you, Old Man?" Saul asked hoping like hell that his explanation would be enough for now.

Bill looked back at the tanks, down to the floor and back again. He rubbed his face with the palm of his hand and inhaled deeply. He had been dropped into one insane situation, he thought, but he believed his friend.

"Yeah, Saul, I do," He nodded.

"That's good, Bill. I'm glad. Look this project hasn't gone perfectly. It's had some major problems but it isn't some big trick. I wouldn't ever do that to you."

"I know that," Bill affirmed.

Saul's station cuff buzzed at his side cutting into what was left of the tense moment. He looked at it and read the message.

"Laura's out of the ward," Saul said putting his arm around Bill and leading him toward the lab's hatch. "Let's get you back to her."

The two men left Delta without much more being said about the incident in the lab. Once they were back aboard Alpha Bill promised Saul that they would be at dinner if Laura was up for it. Saul promised himself that if they made it through dinner he would tell Bill the truth before the night was over.

Chapter 11: Chapter 11

Chapter Text

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 119B: ASSIGNMENT; TIGH

YEAR: 2315

"Dammit Blaze, how are you losing to him? He's never even been in a cockpit!" Katya teased.

"It's not fair, Cap. This game is nothing like the real thing," Blaze complained in defense.

"Is this real enough for ya?" Alexi snarked as he showered Blazer's animated Falcon with ammo on the Tigh's image screen.

"Ouch!" Katya shouted as she watched the display on the wall in front of her.

"I'm out!" Blazer yelled as he turned the projection off of with his controller and tossed it to the side.

Alexi just chuckled softly to himself and reset the game.

"Wow, Blazer, I'd tell people how horrible you are at this, but you're on my squadron so I'm too embarrassed," Katya mocked as she took a drag from the long stick of a vaporizer before passing it to the other pilot.

"That game is bull," Blazer insisted between puffs. "Totally unrealistic."

"Don't be such a sore loser, Blaze. Just say it; I got my flyboy ass beat three times in a row by a boot stomping marine," Alexi gloated grabbing the device from Blaze and placing it between his grinning teeth.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Came Ellen's warning voice. "What have I told you all about using these things!?" She said as she appeared behind the sofa. She took the vaporizer right out of Alexi's mouth and placed it between her own lips.

"Uh, I think your usual words are 'they're mine, don't touch 'em'?" Katya mocked.

"That's right," Ellen said with a smirk as she exhaled. "Now c'mon, turn that game off and get ready. You don't even have you're tunics on," She complained as she put the device away in an end table drawer.

Their guests would be arriving soon and Ellen hadn't had as much time to get ready as she thought she would.

"What's with you?" Katya frowned as she watched her aunt busily milling around the cabin straightening things that were already in order. "You're acting so weird and high strung."

Ellen shook her head and laughed to herself.

"Katya, you don't know the day I've had," She snarked.

"Why weren't you here when Lex and Blaze came to move the furniture?" The younger woman probed.

Ellen finally stopped fussing with the table setting she was rearranging and looked at Katya.

"I told you something came up. I said I was sorry. Just put your tunic on, Katya," She warned. "Boys, there are still some chairs in the closet. Would you get them for me? Oh and someone please move that ottoman into Katya's old room. We need all the frakking foot space we can get."

Blazer stood up from his seat on the sofa.

"Abso-frakking-lutly , Ellen. I'd love to get the frakking chairs," Blazer teased as Alexi followed him.

"Watch it, Blaze," Ellen said in a warning but unserious tone.

"Can I really not say it at all tonight?" He joked as he opened the closet door and passed a chair to Alexi.

"No!" Katya shouted from where she was still planted on the sofa.

"C'mon. Everyone else is gunna be saying it," Blaze egged on. "I want to be part of the crowd," He continued to jest as he brought a chair that he'd retrieved to the table.

"Fine. Say it," Katya dared him. "I want to see Kaplan's reaction."

"You say it frakkin' once tonight, Lieutenant and I'll punch your frakkin' lights out," Came Saul's threatening growl as he emerged from the bedroom.

He'd been in there since he'd returned home for the day. Ellen was sure that something bad happened on Delta. She hadnt been able to get it out of him, not that she'd volunteered any information about her own brush with disaster in Med Ward.

After Tawny's admission of her major screw up with Laura's chart Ellen's first reaction had been to lash out at the frightened young doctor. She'd been livid.

How could Tawny have been so stupid? There were at least three other procedures listed within the records that Laura could have seen to inspire just as much suspicion. Tawny apologized profusely and assured Ellen that she had covered the mistake well enough. Ellen hadn't believed her until she'd finally seen Laura for herself. Ellen had been braced for a full on confrontation but Laura made no mention of the strange occurrence. She was tired and a little out of it from pain medicaiom. Figuring Tawny had been right about her damage control after all Ellen let herself relax and took Laura back to her cabin to rest for the remainder of the afternoon. She hadn't heard anything from her since.

"Yes, Sir, Colonel Sir," Blazer curtly answered with a salute."

"I mean it, Blazer. I invited you here to be a representative of this station and to make sure these people feel welcome. I don't need you mocking them or causing me anymore grief than I've already got, you hear me?"

"Yes, Sir. That was not my intention, Sir. I'll do my best tonight to make them feel at home," Blaze honestly assured him.

"That's more like it," Saul answered before directing his attentions toward the sofa. "Katya put your damn tunic on."

The two hadn't spoken since the night before at dinner. When Saul had returned home from Delta Station he'd ignored everyone and retreated to his room. Katya wasn't surprised that his first words to her were barked orders. She didn't answer him. She got up without verbal protest and headed for her old room where she'd hung up the rest of her uniform earlier. A knock at the hatch made everyone freeze in position.

"Oh, uh, it's probably just the food service. Alexi, would you get it?" Ellen asked trying to shake herself free of the tension.

"Ellen, can I see you in the bedroom?" Saul's request came out as more of an instruction but she followed him anyway.

Once the door was closed Ellen took a seat on their rack.

"What's up Saul? Tell me. I know something happened today. You've hardly spoken since you got back. You're as sharp as a razor," She accused.

"Yeah, and I've got good reason." He said pacing in front of her.

"What's wrong?"

Saul stopped in his tracks and faced his wife.

"Bill saw Margot in the lab," He finally admitted.

Ellen felt her stomach turn over. Today was not their day.

"So, what happened?" She winced, unsure if she wanted to hear the answer.

"Well he flipped but good. I'll tell you that much," He growled.

"Shhh, Saul, the kids will hear you," Ellen warned as she stood up and grabbed his arm. "So what did you tell him? Does he know?"

"No, no. And, Ellen, I didn't lie to him but I came damn close and I don't like it," He said pointing a finger in his wife's direction.

Ellen was able to relax a bit. How Saul had gotten around that she didn't know but she was glad.

"We should have warned her that you were coming. That was careless," She admitted.

"Bill thought she was a copy. He thought we were hiding more bodies from them," Saul told her taking the place she had abandoned on their rack. "We should have thought of that. The girl looks so damn much like D'Anna."

"Saul..." Ellen started as she looked toward the floor, "Today in Med Ward...Tawny Xao let Laura see her lab charts."

Ellen glanced up to see Saul's face in a state of shock. His mouth made the 'o' it always did when he was caught off guard and the amount of expression captured in his one eye made up for the other he was missing.

"What do you mean; she let her see her charts? What did she see exactly?" Saul asked in disbelief. He had always known Tawny to be exceptionally loyal. It was hard to believe that she would have intentionally done something like that without warning.

"It was an accident I guess," Ellen shrugged. "She was trying to show her something else and she wasn't thinking...and well anyway, Laura noticed something on her chart that indicated that she'd delivered a baby."

"What?!" Saul shouted as he jumped up from the rack.

"Shhh!" Ellen warned again. "Tawny was able to cover. She said that she was able to convince Laura that it was an error. She told her that she just accidentally swiped at something she shouldn't have and mistakenly changed the record. I don't know. I wasn't in there but apparently Laura bought it. At least I think she did. Tawny swore that she didn't even ask a second question. Laura didn't even mention it to me on the way back to her cabin. I think Tawny had her hopped up on painkillers." Saul scowled.

"What the frak is wrong with her anyway?"

"Oh, you don't want to know," Ellen said waving him off.

"I don't like this Ellen. It's already gone too far. Too much has gone wrong too quickly."

Ellen nodded and looked toward the floor again.

"I know, Saul," She said quietly.

He walked closer to her and took her hands in his.

"Ellen, I know how you feel about this but it ends tonight. After dinner I'm taking Bill out and I'm coming clean."

Ellen nodded but wouldn't look up at him. Saul knew that if she did he'd see there were tears in her eyes. He put his arms around her and kissed the top of her head.

"It's gotta be this way. It's the right thing," He spoke into her hair.

"I know," She sighed as she let him go and wiped at her eyes with the back of her hands. With a few sniffles she composed herself and Saul followed her out of the room.

They found Katya sitting on the sofa finally in full uniform. She had left her hair down but Ellen liked it that way. As she looked over at the young woman she'd raised she knew that she couldn't possibly be any prouder. Ellen walked up behind the sofa and ran her hand through the girl's long dark hair. When Katya turned to smile up at her Ellen leaned down and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"What was that for?"

"Nothing," Ellen said with a sad smile. "Just 'cause I love you," She added.

"Oh. I love you too," Katya smiled back.

"Ellen?" Alexi interrupted. "The food's here. I put it on the warmers in the kitchen."

"Thank you, Alexi, honey. You've been so helpful today," She told him.

"Yes, ma'am. Oh and Blazer ate something off the dessert tray and tried to get us to lie for him," He added.

"Alexi, what the hell, man!? Blaze griped from the kitchenette. "Are you nine years old? Did you just rat on me?"

"Get away from the food rocket jockey!" Saul warned.

"Blaze, sweetie it's okay," Ellen assured him with a giggle. "

"Oh I almost forgot Ellen, this came with the delivery," Alexi added, holding out a bottle of wine. "They said it was compliments of Tawny Xao."

Ellen laughed as she took the bottle from him.

"Ha! That's the least of what that girl owes me," Ellen scoffed.

Confused Alexi looked toward his wife for some kind of explanation but she just shrugged behind her aunt.

"So does that mean we can drink now?" Katya asked.

"You bet it does, kitten," Ellen answered over her shoulder.

"No one's even here yet," Saul weakly protested.

"Oh, so what?" Ellen scoffed. "When has that ever stopped us? One drink with just us," She said looking over at her husband. "We'll toast to family."

Not long after that the Tigh's guests had arrived. The commander came first which they were thankful for. It gave everyone a chance to get on the same page about what information had been divulged to Bill and Laura so far. Kaplan wasn't about to give Katya or the Tighs any direct orders on how to deal with the more personal aspects of the situation but he made his feelings clear; the subjects of this project, at least on his station were to be treated with respect. That meant not lying to them or leaving them in the dark for any longer than necessary. Though both Saul and Ellen knew the truth would be out by the end of the night neither let the others know of the plan. Saul hoped the dinner would be an opportunity to make peace and work on second impressions. He didnt want to cast a shaddow over the evening so he kept his intentions of telling Bill the truth later on to himself.

By the time Bill and Laura arrived everyone was at least a few rounds in and Saul was starting to worry about the liquid courage Katya was pounding back. He'd taught the girl to hold her liquor but he couldn't ever be sure what might come out of her mouth when she was doing so. Short of just preemptively dismissing her he had no choice but to get half way loaded himself and hope for the best.

They sat around the dinner table which was set up on an angle in the cabin's living space. Saul was at the head of the table with Ellen to his right and Laura to his left. As a precautionary move Katya and Alexi were seated all the way on the other end. Saul figured it would be best to put the Commander and Blaze in the middle. Kaplan took the lead, beginning most of the conversation with the LT's help. Saul figured he had done well inviting Blazer to join them. The kid could be goofy but he had a certain charm and he never shut up. With him around there was no time for awkward silence.

"Bill, Laura can I refresh your drinks?" Ellen asked standing up to refill her own glass.

After a quick trip to the cooler she brought back the bottle that Tawny had sent over and popped the cork.

"Laura, Dr. Tawny sent this over for us tonight. Guess she wanted us to have a better evening than we did a day," Ellen laughed.

Laura's eyes widened at Ellen's reference.

"Are you feeling alight, Ms. Roslin," Kaplan asked in a concerned tone.

Laura shot Ellen a look which she ignored as she poured.

"I'm fine, Commander. Just a check up," She assured him hoping he would drop it.

She couldnt beleive she was even sitting there. She was miserable. The implant procedure had only cause her pain to worsen. The pills she'd been given had her in a fog and only provided her mild relief.

"Well you look just lovely, Ms. Roslin" Blazer said noticing her hesitance and doing his best smooth out the situation. Blazer could sense the slightest unease in others and he was excellent at making sure anyone he interacted with feel accepted and comfortable.

"Thank you, Lieutenant," Laura said with a sight but grateful smile.

"Viy'eb'nutsa," Katya said motioning toward Blazer. The strange verbiage got a snort out of her husband but left everyone in the dark.

Laura didn't know what the hell the girl had just said, but she could tell by her mocking tone that it wasn't complimentary. She ignored it when it seemed as though everyone else had. When Ellen reached to fill her wine glass Laura stopped her.

"Ellen, I don't know how much I should be drinking."

"Oh c'mon, Laura, you need it. Besides, it will give whatever Tawny gave you a little kick," She smirked. With that in mind Laura put her glass right out for Ellen to reach.

"Fill it up, maybe she's more pleasant when she's drunk," Katya mumbled into her glass. She'd said it to herself but loud enough so that she knew Laura would hear. She didn't bother to look for the woman's reaction and she purposefully ignored the warning glare that her uncle was giving her across the table. Only Kaplan and Adama separated her from her target. If either of them had heard her they'd chosen to ignore it.

Laura just rolled her eyes and took a big sip of wine. She wasn't about to start anything at the dinner table. Certianly not with someone barely out of their teens.

"You know that's the wine Dr. Xao named Tawny after," Katya said to no one in particular trying her best to quickly take the focus of her rude remark.

Ellen turned the bottle around to read it. She had to move it back and forth a bit before she could focus since she'd finished almost half of it before her guests had even arrived.

"Oh yeah. 'Old Beta Tawny Port'," She read out loud. "That's cute," She added topping her glass off.

"Huh," Bill started, "I wouldn't have pegged that little guy for a…"

"Wino?" Blazer finished. Getting laughs from Katya and Alexi.

"Well I wasn't going to say that," Bill answered, "But to name his daughter after a bottle of wine..."

"Wait til' you see him drunk on that E-Rep rice wine crap he loves," Blazer laughed looking at his two friends, "Remember his birthday party last year?" He asked the table getting even more laughs.

The old doctor was strict and professional in the clinic but he did have a slight reputation for hitting the bottle pretty hard on special occasions. He was always good for a scene or two. There was nothing too obscene about his antics. The impression it made on the rest of the crew was largely due to the obvious contrast from the man's stoic demeanor in Med Ward. When he let loose Tawny was always embarrassed but her friends and colleagues were always entertained.

"How could we forget?" Kaplan admitted and cleared his throat. "But, I assure you Ms. Roslin, Admiral Adama, Ning Xao is very professional; a dedicated serviceman and superb doctor. He'd never drink on the job," The commander assured, rushing to defend his major.

"I'm sure he wouldn't," Laura smiled. "On the other hand, our doctor on Galactica used to puff on cigarettes right in our faces," She remembered with a brief giggle.

"He sure did," Saul confirmed. "Grumpy old bastard. Burned a frakkin' hole in my uniform once trying to take my damn blood pressure!" He said getting the entire table to laugh with the image.

"Oh, I remember," Ellen said with a sigh. "I miss the old coot. Xao is nothing like that, though. The commander is right."

"Think he'll be at Slap-Shot's pinning party tonight?" Alexi asked.

"Hell, I hope so!" Blazer answered. "You coming later Commander?"

"Of course, I'll be there. Now you've got me hoping Xao does bust out the rice wine," The man chuckled.

"And he's not a wino, Blazer," Katya added,"As Margot would say; he's a connoisseur." She said doing her best to mimic the Le Blanc's traditional tongue.

"Whatever he is, he's hilarious," Blaze said with a snort.

At the mention of Margot Saul's eyes darted to Bill. Did this man ever forget a name? Saul saw him stiffen in his seat. He knew Bill could tell that he was looking at him but the other man just avoided his gaze. Laura seemed to notice his unease as well.

"What's wrong?" She whispered discreetly beside him.

"Nothing," He lied. "Actually Ellen, do you have anything stronger than that?" He asked motioning to the wine bottle.

Before she could answer Saul interjected. They would all need something stronger if the night was headed in the direction he planned.

"Sure do, Bill. Katya took care of that for us. Isn't that right, Kat?

Katya sipped at her drink and nodded. Besides a random hug her uncle had given her after their little family toast the two still hadn't interacted much since their fight the night before.

"Yes,Sir," She curtly answered without explanation.

When Saul grimaced Alexi jumped in.

"Katya has family on Gamma Station. They distill this there from starch like potatoes," Alexi explained as he passed Saul the bottle of clear liquid. "Katya's cousin, well, her father's nephew…" He found himself stumbling, "Miloš, he brings us some every few weeks when he comes to Alpha Station.!

"Good man," Saul said as he poured Bill a glass. "Well actually he's not. That kid is a punk but as long as he brings this with him I don't mind his visits," He said with a chuckle.

Bill lifted the glass to take a whiff as Kaplan took the bottle from the Colonel. He began to pour some for himself as he spoke.

"Historically, it originated on the surface of Earth in the area of the Eastern Federation, where Katya and Alexi's families came from years ago," The commander told Bill. "If you're getting it from an Isakoff, you know you're getting the good stuff," The man said winking at Katya beside him.

"I'll drink to that," She said clinking the man's glass and taking a gulp.

"Drink up, Bill," Saul encouraged. "It's no ambrosia but it gets the job done," He joked.

"What do you call this stuff?" Bill said looking at the glass.

"Vodka," Blazer mocked, mimicking the way Katya and Alexi pronounced it.

"Well, then cheers to vodka," Adama said taking a swig. He winced just a bit as it stung his throat. "That's some powerful stuff you're family makes, Captain," He said raising his glass toward Katya.

She smiled primly and nodded.

"Laura, you want to try?" He asked offering her his glass. "It has a bite to it," He warned as she took it from him.

"I'm sure she'll just bite it back," Katya smirked as she poked at her meal with her fork.

Laura just rolled her eyes again and took a bigger gulp of the liquid than she'd first intended. If she was going to get through dinner she needed all the help she could get. Bill's eyes widened at the amount of vodka she shot back. Was she really letting the girl get to her?

"Katya," Ellen seemed to warn, "I want you eat what's on your plate. Don't just move it around," She said surprising the girl who figured she was going to be admonished for her comment.

"I am eating," She lied.

"You better be," Alexi chimed in.

"Oh she will," Kaplan assured Ellen and looked down at Katya. "She's keeping her strength up for when she gets back in the cockpit next week. Aren't you, Captain?" He said winking at her.

"Yes, Sir," Katya appeased as she pierced some vegetables with her fork and popped them in her mouth.

"Notoriously bad appetite," Saul explained. Bill nodded.

"Well, we don't want you fainting on us again, Captain," He told the girl as she forced herself to chew.

"I'll try not to Sir," She said, slightly embarrassed.

Every time Katya thought of her mortifying face-plant in front of Bill and Laura she could feel her cheeks turn red. She hoped the color the vodka had probably already given her complexion would hide it.

"Speaking of that, Captain," The commander continued. "You know Tawny is going to have to okay you to get back in the air," He informed her.

"But I'm fine," She assured him.

"I'm sure you are but since there is a record of it I need her to tell me it's okay before I let you get back in a bird. Got it?"

"Yes, Sir." She said again as her shoulders fell.

"If you don't mind me asking, what's you call-sign, Captain?" Bill asked.

Katya didn't know why the question caught her off guard. Maybe it was the fact that she'd dreamed about talking shop with Bill Adama all of her life and now that it was happening she was half drunk. When she didn't answer right away Blazer jumped in.

"It's Koshka," The lieutenant answered with a smile.

"What's it mean?" Laura asked, emboldened by her sip of liquor.

"It's E-fed for cat, ma'am," Alexi answered.

"Hmm, fitting," Laura snarked with an arched brow before taking a sip from her drink.

Katya had to laugh at the remark. She was impressed that woman had started to fire back.

"Meow," Katya said back mimicking a claw in the air.

Saul lightly hit the table trying to get Katya's attention but she avoided him. Ellen just laughed into her glass.

Bill cleared his throat.

"Any significance to it?" He asked trying to break up the interaction.

He wasnt happy with the girl's rudeness toward Laura but afer the conversation he and Saul had earlier in the day he better understood her anger. He hoped that persistant amicable interactions would eventually quell her ire. She was Saul and Ellen's daughter and that meant Bill wanted to give her a chance. He wanted to know the girl his old friends obviously loved so much.

"Koshka was a pet name from her father," Saul explained. "And then Ellen..."

"She's always been my kitten," Ellen interrupted with an air kiss down the table to Katya who blushed and rolled her eyes.

"Just sort of stuck," Saul finished.

"Plus, the captain here is one of the most graceful pilot's I've ever known," The Commander added. "She flies swift, smooth and agile like... well…like a cat," He decided with a smile.

"I'd like to watch you fly one day, Captain," Bill said to her directly. "You too L.T." He added toward Blaze.

Katya nodded wishing that she wasn't the topic of conversation.

"Well, once I'm cleared maybe Uncle Saul will take you to the observation deck," She suggested.

By the time Ellen had put coffee and dessert out Laura was more than ready to leave. She was exhausted and sick of fending off Katya's frequent quips in her direction. Done with her cup of coffee she put her hand on Bill's thigh and gave it a light squeeze hoping he'd get the hint that she wanted to go. He looked over at her and could see the weariness in her eyes.

"This was a lovely dinner, Ellen," Kaplan spoke as he put his napkin over his dessert plate. "I thank you for the invitation."

"Any time, Commander," Ellen said sweetly.

"And it was wonderful to spend more time getting to know you, Admiral Adama, Ms. Roslin," He said earnestly.

"Laura," She insisted with small smile.

"Yeah everything was great, Ellen, Colonel," Alexi said looking at his cuff, "But we really should be heading to the rec-room for Slip-Shot's party," He announced before backing his seat out.

"You kids go ahead," Ellen told them, "And have a good time."

Blazer and Katya both moved to follow Alexi's lead.

"Thank you for everything, Elle." Blazer said as he stood beside Ellen's seat and rested a hand on her shoulder. "As always you are a most gracious and beautiful hostess," He lathered on.

"Thank you Blaze," She said giggling at his flighty words.

"Alright, out with you," Saul said pushing Blazers hand off of Ellen's shoulder.

Blazer laughed as always. Despite Ellen's maternal role in his life he often playfully flirted with her just to get under Saul's skin. She was happy to play along with the harmless joke. She knew that Saul loved both Blazer and Alexi but sometimes it seemed like the only way he could show it was to scold the boys at every chance he got.

"You coming out tonight, Colonel?" Blazr asked.

"I don't know yet. Maybe. Now go on," Saul instructed.

Katya walked over behind Ellen's chair and leaned over to give her a kiss on the cheek the same way Ellen had to her earlier. She had been moved to return the gesture ever since and there was a certain satisfaction in doing so in front of Laura Roslin. The other woman might not know why but Katya still wanted her to understand on some level that Ellen Tigh was all the mother she needed.

"You sure you don't want me to stay and help you clean all this up, Aunt Elle?" Katya asked.

"No, kitten. I've got this. You go have fun." She assured her.

Katya nodded and turned to her uncle. The two stared each other down for a few long moments until Katya broke. She smirked and shook her head as she leaned down to give him a kiss on the top of his bald head before she walked away. He wanted to be angry at her, and he was, but she always knew how to get to him to melt into a puddle. Suddenly Saul realized that the next time he saw her it would be to tell her that Bill knew.

"You have fun," He called after her. "Don't over do it. Be safe," He added as an old habit.

"I'm right behind you," Kaplan said as he stood from his seat. "I'm supposed to make the toast tonight," He explained.

With a few more goodbyes and thank yous Saul and Ellen were left alone with Bill and Laura.

"We should probably get going too," Bill said moving his seat back.

"Actually, Bill," Saul stopped him.

Ellen felt her heart drop.!She knew what he was about to ask him and she was dreading it.

"Would you mind taking a walk with me? Just for a bit? I'm sure your security detail will get Laura home just fine."

Bill stopped for a moment and considered it. He had a feeling that Saul wanted to talk about what happened in the lab earlier. After hearing the Margot's name again from Katya Bill was more than curious about what Saul had to say. From the way they spoke of her it seemed as though the family was close to the girl who looked like D'Anna's double. It was strange to say the least. Bill looked to Laura. He knew that she was overtired and would probably pass out soon after they got home. It wasnt as if they would stay up conversing. Still, he knew that she wasn't feeling welland he thought that maybe it would be better if he went home with her.

"It's okay, Bill," She said knowing he'd only refuse to go on her account. "Just go. I'll be fine. I'm going right to bed," She assured him.

"Are you sure?"

She did her best to smile and nod.

"I'll walk her back to the cabin, Bill," Ellen offered.

"You don't have to do that," Laura protested.

"Nonsense," Ellen said with a grin and a squint. Besides, it'll allow me to put off clearing the dishes," She joked as she rose from her seat.

The four left the cabin and parted ways.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

The two women were mostly silent as they walked a few paces in front of their security detail. Laura wished that she had denied Ellen's offer to accompany her but in the end she figured giving in would just be easier. After the day she had, after that dinner, all Laura wanted to do was take two of whatever Tawny had prescribed her and then curl up in her rack. She wished that she hadn't let Bill convince her to go to the Tigh's at all. Though she knew she couldn't live her new life as a recluse the idea was tempting. The only thing she was currently looking forward to was waking up and having Bill next to her. She would miss him as she fell to sleep but she wouldn't begrudge him a good time with an old friend. At least Bill had that; some other connection to where they were besides just being called on to help. Laura had nothing. She felt so empty and out of place. Bill was right; they were there together but it just wasnt enough to erradicate her unhappiness. they She knew that they had been together before in whatever existnace they had been taken from. Though she didnt rememebr it she wished they could go back. The more time passed the more she felt herself wanting to withdraw from her new life. Besides Bill she had no connection there nothing to motivate her to try and make her life more than a summons to duty.

"I just wanted to see if you were really feeling any better," Ellen said as they walked." I know we really couldn't speak freely at dinner. I wanted to make sure you were okay and that you have everything you need."

Laura kept her eyes in front of her as they walked the halls.

"Oh I don't know, I think some of us were speaking rather freely in there," Laura said with a wry smirk.

Ellen didn't answer but she was too tipsy not to let a soft chuckle escape her lips. Katya had been in rare form.

"But, yes, I'm feeling better Ellen, She lied. "I'm just very tired. Thanks for asking. And thank you for helping me today. I didn't know who else to go to," She admitted.

"Well, woman to woman, I'm happy to be your only choice," Ellen mused.

After a few twisting halls, walls and doors that all seemed to bled together the two had arrived at the hatch.

"Thanks for the company, Ellen," Laura said as she ran her station cuff in front of the hatch lock. Her thanks sounded more like a dismissal but she was long passed the point of caring. As the locks clicked and she moved to open the door Ellen stopped her.

"Laura?"

Ellen wasn't sure what she was going to say, she just knew that she wanted to say it. The next time she saw Laura she might very well know the truth. She felt as if she should leave her with something to think on. Laura paused and leaned against her door allowing Ellen to go on.

"I just want to apologize for Katya. She's not usually like that," Ellen told her.

With a sigh Laura looked up.

"You know, Ellen, people keep telling me that about her. You, Saul, even Bill seemed moved to defend her last night. Her peers seem to think the world of her, even the commander," Laura observed with a shrug.

"She really is a good kid, it's just…"

"Well, see that's just the thing, Ellen," Laura interuptes, "She's not a kid. She's a grown woman and she's responsible for her own words and actions the same as I am and the same as you are. Maybe she'd do better without people making excuses for her."

Laura knew her comment had come off as less than understanding but she had just taken a proverbial pelting from the young woman through an entire meal and she was feeling less than generous with her compassion.

If Ellen hadn't known where she was going with her words before she sure did now. Maybe it wouldn't make things easier for Katya but she knew it would eventually make them harder on Laura and thats what she wanted.

"Laura, I know this is probably hard for you to understand not being a parent, but just because kids may be grown and out of the house doesn't mean that you're done raising them. The girl still needs a mother," Ellen said carefully choosing her words.

"Yes, and she seems to have that in you," Laura affirmed.

"She absolutely does," Ellen agreed with a satisfied grin.

Laura considered her tone before continuing. She could honestly care less about whether Saul and Ellen's daughter really was a spoiled impetuous brat, or not. She didn't have any business with the girl but she knew she would have to deal with Saul and Ellen often if she was truly going stick this life out.

"You know Ellen, I don't mean to insult your child. She and I...well, we just don't seem to get along very well. I surely don't seem to inspire the best in her," Laura posed. "Saul means a great deal to Bill, so it won't bother me in the least if he would like some sort of relationship with his friend's daughter. I just think that maybe it would be best if she and I stayed out of each other's way."

Ellen inhaled deeply and smiled.

"I don't think I'll have any trouble convincing Katya to agree."

Laura nodded and went back to opening the hatch.

"Thanks again, Ellen," She said without looking back at her.

Ellen turned and started to walk away.

"Oh, you're very welcome, Laura," She replied without turning around. "For everything."

Chapter 12: Chapter 12

Chapter Text

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

PATROL OFFICE: 10B; TEMP. ASSIGNMENT: FIGHTER SQUADRON 1; LUNA FORCE

YEAR: 2315

"This office is empty, Bill. We can talk in here," Saul said as he ran his cuff over the security pad and opened the hatch.

The room was large but nearly empty. In the center of the room stood a lone lucite desk and two chairs illuminated by a pinpoint light from above. When the men stepped inside Saul opted against more lighting. Instead he turned on the imaging capabilities of two of the walls. Bill watched as the wall behind the desk came to life with the soft glow of its display. Soon the one to his left did the same.

"That right there is a live feed, "Saul explained. "Views from the station that are captured by its exterior recording system. This is the view of Earth from Alpha," He said gesturing behind the desk.

Bill looked at the floor to ceiling display and he could remember seeing it with his own eyes like it was yesterday. He had seen the very same view when his Raptor left Galactica for the last time and brought him down to Earth's surface. The slight curvature of the globe's bright horizon stood in stark contrast to the black void of space behind it. On their rides to the other stations seated the back of the shuttle he hadn't been able to appreciate it. It was beautiful. It looked as if it hadn't changed in all the many thousands of years that had passed yet Bill knew that it had.

"And this one," Saul pointed to the left of the desk," is our view of the only natural satellite out here," He said gesturing to the feed which showed the Earth's glowing moon partially cast in a dull shadow.

"What's this room used for?" Bill asked as he took in his surroundings.

"Well, not much," Saul admitted moving one of the desk's chairs a bit closer to the other. "It's reserved for any officers living in this section of the corridor who might need a place to work close to home. It's for times when heading to their area of jurisdiction isn't quite necessary. It's got the screens and a com system. Right now it's currently assigned to Luna Force Squadron. That's our number one squad; the one Katya and Blaze fly, but those kids never use this place. It’s mostly a waste of space," He said taking a seat and gesturing for Bill to do the same.

As Bill sat he rubbed at his forehead and winced a bit. It had already been a long day.

"Well, speaking of Katya, Saul…" Bill started. "I was wondering if you might be able to talk to your kid about easing up on Laura."

Saul moved his jaw back and forth as he listened to Bill continue to speak.

"I know that the two of them didn't get off to a good start and I get how Katya took offence to a lot of what Laura said the other day but…Laura's not having an easy time adjusting to this. Maybe you could get Katya to back off a little?" Bill asked trying to tread lightly.

He liked the girl enough and he didn't want to insult Saul by saying otherwise but dinner had been taxing to get through. Bill was torn between wanting to get to know his friend's daughter and wanting to defend Laura from her taunting. He knew Laura didn't need anymore excuses to distance herself from the people on the station.

Saul nodded and looked Bill in the eye. The man's face was illuminated by the screen's dull glow but there was just enough darkness in the room to make things easier. For some reason Saul found himself able to speak more honestly without the light's own revelations.

"I know, Bill, and that's part of why I asked you to come out tonight," He admitted.

Bill looked confused for a moment.

"It is? I thought we were going to talk more about what happened in the lab today on Delta," Bill said. "I heard Katya mention that woman's name tonight at dinner. Margot, was it?" He added with a sense of accusation hinted in his tone.

"Yeah, Bill. That's right." Saul said with a nod.

"So what is she? Did you lie to me? Is that what you brought me here to tell me?" Bill interrogated.

"No, Bill," Saul said shaking his head slowly. "I haven't lied to you yet. But I haven't told you everything that you need to know yet either," He admitted feeling a lump growing in his throat.

He saw Bill's eyes change. He saw the suspicion growing behind them. He never could stand having Bill Adama look at him that way.

"Then I think you should start talking, Saul," Bill said as his face hardened.

Saul leaned forward in his seat with his hands on his knees and hung his head. He had rehearsed this in his mind a hundred times but for the life of him he couldn't remember how he'd planned to start.

"Bill, the young woman you saw today on Delta was not a copy of the Three. She's not a copy of anyone. I told you that in the lab and that much is true," He told him as he nervously cracked at his knuckles one at a time, attempting to relieve even the slightest bit of physical tension he was feeling.

"So then what is she, Saul? Because I know what I saw and she looked too much like D'Anna to be much else," Bill accused.

Saul exhaled and started again.

"I explained to you that after Ellen and I gave the DNA over to the Earth Orbit scientist, that things were done that we weren't made aware of. We were living on the basestar at the time. We knew that they were genetically engineering your bodies, heck, we told them to but after that was done there was a long time where we were being kept in the dark. Things were done that we had no part in and no knowledge of, things Ellen and I never would have agreed to. When we found out about them it was already too late."

"What things?" Bill said more impatiently.

"That woman you saw today on Delta; she's not D'Anna's copy, Bill. She's her daughter," Saul admitted.

He felt like his heart was about to pound out of his chest and out through his tunic, and he hadn't even gotten to the rest of it. He didn't even know if he'd have to. He was just waiting for Bill to catch on.

"What do you mean, she's her daughter?" Bill spat.

"Margot is the child that was produced using the two bodies you saw today. Genetically, her mother is D'Anna and her father...well, it's Sam Anders."

As Saul finished he chanced a look at Bill's eyes and he didn't like what he saw. There was anger and distrust but most of all there was confusion.

"So these…people…these scientists they just used those bodies? Those bodies that are supposedly so sacred to them? For what? To do experiments on them? Play with their DNA just for fun?!" Bill gritted.

His fists were clenched and sweaty. It had been one thing when the people in Orbit had been speaking about them as future saviors, as their only hope out of a dark and bleak war. Now Bill knew that not all of them had been as revered and respected as he had been lead to believe. Anders and D'Anna had at least in some part been used to serve other means and he couldn't fathom a noble excuse for that.

"They weren't exactly experimented on," Saul tried to clarify. "When we found out Ellen spent days checking all of the recordings and logs. When we demanded an explanation they told us that the Earth Orbit Committee was starting to panic over how much of the project was dependant on Ellen, a Cylon, figuring out the downloading process. Station attacks were happening more and more and in-system combat was rampant. The people were scared. The project scientists had no way of speeding up the process and they didn't know where to start as far as trying to come up with their own form of resurrection. At some point a theory was put forward by a few of the doctors that perhaps the combined DNA of a set of bodies would produce a living soul who might just be able to fulfill the prophecy sooner. They thought that instead of waiting for Anders and D'Anna to wake up, why not see if a living breathing being with their combined genetic materials could elicit the same results? If a live child was produced who could fill their shoes then there would be no need for downloading. They wouldn't have to wait on Ellen any longer," Saul did his best to explain.

He could remember the first time it had been explained to him by Dr. Petrov. He had punched the man so hard he'd landed about four feet away from where they'd been standing. For a moment Saul worried that Bill might repeat his reaction.

"That's appalling," Bill nearly growled.

"I know it is, Bill," Saul quickly agreed.

"How that frak did they even manage that? Both those bodies are about as lively as a pair of door knobs. What did they just take whatever materials they needed like they were picking a sleeping man's pockets? Did they recruit some poor woman to carry this plan B baby?"

Saul rubbed his hand over his face.

"I was so disgusted I refused to watch the recordings or read anything about the process but I know enough from Ellen. She was beyond enraged at these people. I didn't want to hear it but I couldn't stop her from spouting off all the sick details," Saul winced as he remembered back to that time. "They didn't want to use some sort of surrogate. They were afraid that if they added a third person into the mix it might interfere with what they were trying to accomplish; a perfect melding of the two subject's genetics. There was also the unknown factor of how the child's consciousness would develop. I don't know. It was all bullshit anyway. What I do know is like you said; they took what they needed from D'Anna's body and from Anders too. They created a viable embryo and well…I'll skip all the gritty details but D'Anna...I mean… her body at least, gave birth to that girl," He finished with a gulp.

Bill shook his head in disbelief. How could they have done that to two people who weren't even present to know it?

"This is sick," Was all Bill could get out for the moment.

Saul nodded again.

"When Ellen found out she called them medical rapists. She was irate. She threatened to leak it to the general population; she threatened to take over the project and even the station system all together, put it all under Cylon run governing. The doctors in charge claimed they had been pressured by the EO Committee. Either way, it was already done. We stopped staying on the basestar after that. We made sure nothing was done to the bodies anymore without our approval. It did leak out to the public eventually. Not by our doing though. It's taken a long time for people to get over it. Some still haven't," Saul explained.

"So that girl, Margot, she's the product of that failed experiment. So where did that leave her? They just created a child whose parents essentially didn't exist yet?" Bill scrambled to understand.

"Yeah, Bill, they did, sad as it sounds. Michelle Le Blanc; that spastic overeager doctor who kept poking you in Med Ward; she's in charge of Delta's lab. She created D'Anna's body and Anders too. When the time came she created Margot. After the girl was born she raised her as her own."

Saul wiped some sweat from where he could feel it accumulating under the strap of his eye patch. He could see the wheels and gears were turning inside of Bill's head.

Bill was stunned and sickened through all of Saul's explanation but for some reason when he mentioned Dr. Le Blanc Bill felt the hair on his arms stand up on end. At first he wasn't sure why but soon things started to snap into place like strong magnets that had been held apart and finally released. He remembered back to the day they had visited Beta's lab. Lt. Bishop. Blaze. Ellen said he was Dr. Bishop's son, the man who had created the Agathon's bodies. Bill suddenly felt like his heart had dropped into the pit of his stomach. He'd been racking his brain trying to figure out who Blazer reminded him of. Even through dinner earlier he hadn't been able to get it off of his mind. Every time the kid spoke he felt like it was just about to come to him. All of a sudden it was so obvious that he almost felt stupid. He was holding desperately on to the hope that he was wrong but somehow in the back of his mind he knew he wasn't. He tried to halt his train of thought in its tracks. He knew where it was headed but he couldn't go there yet. He looked Saul dead in the eye before he spoke.

"Tell me Margot's the only one, Saul," He seethed through gritted teeth.

Saul knew this was it. If Bill hadn't already connected the dots he was only moments away from doing so.

"Tell me!" Bill barked again.

Saul shook his head. His throat was so tight he knew that his voice wasn't going to cooperate.

"I can't," He finally rasped.

When Bill shot out of his seat it was to look for something to throw. When he found nothing available in the barren room he opted to throw his chair. Its transparent plastic form clattered into the shadows of a far off corner and neither of them spoke until the room was silent again. Saul sat with his head down looking into his lap. He wasn't even remotely surprised when Bill grabbed him; lifting him up by the collar of his tunic and kicking his chair out from under him.

"Tell me it isn't true. Tell me!" Bill demanded as he walked Saul backwards by his collar. He walked him further and further across the room until he had him pinned against the image wall, planted against the broad expanse of black space where the moon hung above their heads. "Tell me!" Bill shouted, this time with frantic need in his voice.

"I can't!" Saul hollered back into the other man's face. "You know! You already know! You know you do! You know it!"

After a long pause Bill suddenly let Saul go and started rubbing at his eyes. Though he was free Saul didn't move from where he stood up against the screen.

"Maybe now that you think about it you knew it all along," He said to Bill who still had his head in his hands. "We kept Margot from you because we knew she would tip you off. She looks so much like her natural mother. We just weren't ready to tell you just yet. You weren't ready to hear it! You haven't been alive a week yet, Bill. I couldn't wake you up and put this on you all at once."

Bill rubbed at his eyes until he saw stars. He couldn't believe it but Saul was right; it was all suddenly so obvious. When he finally took his hands from his eyes they were wet. When he looked at Saul he winced.

"Blazer," Bill started.

"Bill, I don't have to tell you. You know who goes with who. How could you not?"

Saul was right. How could he have missed Helo in that boy? And the sergeant? All he could see when he thought of Alexi's face were the nose and eyes of a Six and the brooding mouth of Gaius Baltar. And then he couldn't think anymore. His breath hitched in his throat as he shook his head in disbelief.

"She's not," Bill said aloud through tears, unsure if it was a denial to Saul or himself.

"She is, Bill," Saul confirmed taking one step and then another away from the wall. He knew he didn't have to say her name. Bill knew as well as he did. "She looks a lot like your sister now that you think about it, doesn't she?" He pressed tentatively, unsure of the reaction it would bring.

Saul remembered seeing pictures of Tamara Adama in Bill's quarters for years. He never asked much about her. He knew she had been killed in some horrible terrorist attack. He could still recall her face and as Katya grew older she reminded Saul of Bill's old photos more and more.

"She can't be," Bill denied again.

He knew he was wrong yet nothing but protests would come out of his mouth.

"She is, Bill. Sure as frak is," Saul firmly insisted taking a few brave steps closer to where Bill stood. "You know it's true and I knew it too the moment I first saw her. She's yours alright. She's got your eyes and when she was about thirteen she sprouted Laura's godsdamn legs! Had me batting off the boys with a stick for years," Saul said with a dark hint of humor. "I took care of her, Bill. At least I tried to. Me and Ellen we did our best and we did it for you and Laura," Saul tried to explain.

He slowly moved to pick up on of the chairs that Bill had knocked over and gestured for the other man to sit. Bill didn't protest. He sunk down onto the cold hard seat.

"I'm sorry, Bill. I'm sorry that they did this and that I wasn't here to stop it. It wasn't right…but by the time I found out that part was over and there was already a living breathing little girl who didn't ask for any of this either. We took her in, loved her and raised her like she was our own. She's been one of the best things to ever happen to me and Ellen. It's hard now for us to wish she'd never been born, wrong as it was. I knew this day would come. I just wanted to do right by you," Saul offered as he looked down at Bill.

For what felt like a long time neither of them spoke.

"What the frak do I do now?" Bill asked looking up at Saul with desperate eyes.

"I told you first so that you could tell Laura. I knew it wouldn't do any good having her learn it from anyone but you."

Suddenly Bill felt his rage flair again at the thought of what had been done to her.

"She's in our cabin now teetering on the brink. She can't come to grips with why or how we're here. She's depressed and she's lost and you want me to tell her that she has a child? That she gave birth to a baby she was never even meant to know? How the frak am I going to tell her that, Saul?!" Bill asked the other man in anguish.

"I don't know, Bill. I honestly don't. I wish I did," His friend told him. "I do know this; Katya grew up wanting nothing more than to know both of you. She helped Dr. Isakoff care for your bodies in the lab from the time she was a little girl. When he died and we took her in she learned that we'd known you both. From then on it was all she ever wanted to talk about. She wanted to know everything about you. She kept on coming to the lab as she got older. She'd come when they took you out of stasis every now and then. She'd brush Laura's hair, she'd trim your nails; just waiting for the day you'd wake up. Then one day she grew up and she realized what she was. It started to dawn on her that her birth was something that never should have happened. She started to figure out how you might react to her identity once you were alive," Saul went on gaining momentum as he spoke, "So you and Laura, you two don't have to feel any kind of way about Katya. She's a big girl and she's had a long time to understand her situation. No one expects either one of you to have some magic relationship with her all of a sudden. There's just one thing I need you to hear and that you need to make sure Laura hears. None of this is Katya's fault. She didn't ask for it and she's struggled her entire life because of it. I understand how hard this is going to be on you and Laura but Ellen and I…well...we won't have anyone making Katya feel guilty for existing."

Saul had to get that off of his chest before he lost his nerve. When it came down to it that was what he was most worried about now that it was all out. He had to make sure Bill and Laura understood that he wouldn't watch Katya suffer the blame.

As Bill listened to Saul speak he felt everything starting to slowly sink in. He had a daughter. He and Laura had a daughter. Katya was theirs. Laura had no idea and now he'd have to find a way to tell her.

Once Bill had calmed enough he and Saul were able to have a real conversation. Bill was still so confused about so many things. Saul told him there was a lot that would be better left for Ellen to explain, especially once Laura knew. It was hard for Saul to leave Bill in front of his quarters. He wasn't sure what was going to happen and he wished he could help more. There was still so much to be said. Though Saul certainly didn't envy his friend he knew he had his own troubles ahead. He would have to let Katya know that her secret was out.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 139B: ASSIGNMENT; ISAKOFF/PETROV

YEAR: 2315

When Alexi opened the hatch Katya stumbled in and nearly fell over. Though he was able to catch her Alexi wasn't in much better shape than his wife.

"Easy there, Koshka," He told her as she giggled over her near tumble to the floor, "You don't need one bruised eye to match the other."

"Mmm maybe I could get a patch like Uncle Saul?" She laughed at her own joke and covered her injured eye with the palm of her hand as Alexi helped her toward the bedroom.

They hadn't stayed at Slip-Shot's pinning party very long. It was still in full swing down in the rec-room. Even the commander was still down there. Dr. Xao hadn't shown up but there were plenty of others making fools of themselves to make up for his absence. When they arrived Katya was already half plastered from dinner and Blazer and Alexi each had a decent buzz on. After about a half a dozen toasts to Slip-Shot they were all beyond drunk.

Alexi sat Katya on their rack. She was still laughing over nothing.

"Alexi, Blazer stayed down there," She said sounding concerned. "He's gunna throw up," She said confidently as her husband removed her tunic and tossed it on the floor.

"Oh, I'm sure he is," Alexi confirmed. He slipped his own tunic off and it joined hers by his feet.

"Don't you let him in here tonight," She warned suddenly serious but slurring.

"I won't," He assured her and lifted her patrol tank off of her body.

"I mean it," She told him.

"Me too," He said as he laid her back on the mattress. He removed her boots and started to slip off her slacks leaving her in only her underwear. Alexi was happy to see they were lacy and red; not even close to regulation.

"Captain, those are far from the proper undergarments to be worn beneath an Orbit Patrol uniform," He playfully mocked.

"Mmmm I keep telling people I'm on leave," She joked as she threw her arms in the air and let them flop back down by her sides.

Alexi clumsily worked on removing his own boots and almost fell on top of Katya in the process.

"You know I could have undressed myself."

"Then why didn't you?" He challenged, smirking and slipping off his pants.

"Well, because I have you," She laughed. "I'm just letting you know that I could…if I wanted to," She followed with a giggle as she stared up at the ceiling.

"I'm sure that's true," He humored her. He sat beside her on the bed. He removed his own patrol tank and playfully tossed it in her direction.

In response she bolted up and nearly pounced into his lap. With a shove to his broad chest she pinned him down on the mattress and straddled his waist.

"Woa, Koshka," He laughed as she grinned down at him. "I guess the name is fitting after all," He joked in reference to Laura's earlier retort.

"Should I start meowing again?" She mused leaning down to kiss his chest.

Alexi chuckled harder than was normal for him, even in a drunken state.

"What?" She asked continuing to kiss at his neck and shoulders.

"I can't believe you meowed at that woman at the dinner table," He snorted.

"Yeah, well I should have clawed her eyes out instead," She said as her kisses became more aggressive.

"Oh, plokhoy, koshecka," He teased.

"Yeah, well she just seems to bring it out of me," She said suddenly stopping her kisses. She put her head down resting on top of him with her hands on his shoulders and her cheek to his chest.

Alexi knew he had just shot himself in the foot bringing it up again but he was wasted. He wasn't thinking right. There was such a fine line between 'playfully sexy drunk Katya' and 'pensive depressive drunk Katya'. Resigned to the change in her mood Alexi told himself not to push it.

"You know Blazer has the hots for her," He said trying to get her to laugh again.

"Oh, he has the hots for every woman he sees," She scoffed.

"Nah, I think he sees you in her. It's not obvious but it's there. The cheek bones, the legs," Alexi teased. "I see it and so does Blaze. Besides, he's always been drawn to woman he can’t have," He told her has he gently stroked her back with the fingers of one hand and nestled his other into her dark silky sea of hair.

Katya didn't respond. She didn't have anything to say to his comment. She just gripped his shoulders tighter and nuzzled her face into his chest as if she could get any closer to him.

For a long time she was quiet and Alexi thought she might have fallen asleep. It had been a long and strange night. Before dinner the Tighs had been acting oddly and the actual meal had been a mixed event. Alexi felt for his wife. He knew it couldn't be easy to sit through it all beside parents who didn't even know she existed. For a moment he considered talking to her about the way things had been going with Laura Roslin. Though he was amused by Katya’s little antics he knew that she wasn't doing herself or the Colonel any good. On the other hand, his opinion hadn't changed. He didn't believe Katya needed a relationship with Roslin or Adama and he wouldn't force her into it. The Tighs were her parents and Alexi didn't think she needed another set. Katya remained quiet for a while more. Just as Alexi finally decided to pick her up and put her to bed she spoke.

"Lex?"

"Da, lyubov moya?" He replied, wrapping both arms around her.

"You know sometimes…I'm glad we won't have children of our own," She told him softly.

"Ya nye pani'má'yu," He said with a scowl. Though he told her he didn't understand he had actually been waiting for this. It had been a topic that had gone unspoken about since they got married. They each understood what came with their choice to be together. It never seemed necessary to say much else about it but he had been wondering if everything going on with her parents would force it to the surface. "Why, Katya?" He asked.

Though advancements in cloning had been successfully practiced for almost two and a half centuries there were still issues with the process. Though genetically perfect clones had no reproductive issues it seemed that their subsequent offspring most often suffered the consequences of the artificial genetic engineering. Children of clones weren't totally incapable of reproducing but their success rate without medical intervention was well below that of their otherwise average counterparts. There were varying degrees of infertility. If only one parent was a clone then the child had a much better success rate of future procreation. The chances increased even more if the descendant then found a mate who wasn't sired from any cloned parents at all. Alexi and Katya had everything against them. They each had not one but both parents who were clones and then on top of that the two decided to be together. They both fully understood their circumstances and it never made them question their commitment to one another. Ellen had always been upfront with Katya about it. She'd known most of her life that was the way things were. For the most part it didn't bother her when she was younger. As she grew up there were certain times when it made her feel different or odd. She could remember being sixteen and realizing Margot was the only other girl she knew whose parents hadn't made her get a prevention implant. Soon after that she had been too concerned with her patrol career to think much about anything else. Then issue had only really crept up on her within the last year when she and Alexi decided to get a marriage license. Neither was sure that they would have chosen to start a family anyway. They both had dangerous demanding positions and a hundred other excuses not to. Stil, it was strange knowing it had never really been an option for them.

Katya enjoyed spending time with the children on board. She and Alexi were registered tutors within the Orbit Education System. They spent a good deal of their off time teaching school aged children mathematics, science and history or whatever they might need assistance in. Had she not been a pilot Katya often thought teaching was how she'd like to spend her time. Though she loved the children she taught, she found the idea of being solely accountable for one a more than terrifying thought.

"Because," She said as she closed her eyes against Alexi's warm skin, "we won't ever have to be responsible for turning a perfectly normal and innocent child into a fucked up head case of an adult," She told her husband sleepily.

He sighed at her dismal answer.

"Katya, c'mon," He protested.

He knew she was referring to herself, or maybe both of them. Either way he didn't like it.

"I mean it," She told him. "I've been raised by three different people and I essentially have five parents. If we could ask them all who wanted to take credit for me how many out of the five would want to step up?"

"Katya, that's not even fair," He challenged. "Saul and Ellen love you. You've been lucky to have them."

"I know that. I'm just saying; even they would probably pass the blame."

"The blame for what, Katya? Stop acting like you're a thing that someone should feel ashamed of."

She let out a low and bitter laugh.

"Aren't we both?"

Alexi sighed and tried to figure out how he was going to bring her out of the dark place she was heading. Blazer was right. They both did this to themselves sometimes. They were lucky to have each other though. One of them was usually able to guide the other out of their wistful fog.

"No, we aren't. Maybe I used to think like that. Maybe I've influenced you to think that way too, but no. The people that made us, our fathers, the Committee; they are the ones who should have been ashamed of themselves. Not us," He insisted.

"But those mistakes screwed us up Alexi, mentally, physically..."

"Maybe in some ways that's true. Doesn't mean we would screw up our own kid if we had the chance," He posed.

"It's just as well,” She mumbled against him.

Alexi sat up taking Katya with him and lifted her into his lap. She rested her head on his shoulder as he moved the blankets out of the way. Standing up he took her in his arms with ease and placed her down on the bed as gently as he could. Neither was sober enough for the conversation they were having.

"It's time to sleep, Yekaterina," He told her has he leaned down for a kiss and pulled the blanket over her already dozing form.

As Alexi climbed in with her he heard Katya's station cuff buzzing under the covers.

"Katya, you have a message," He said trying to rouse her as he settled in to get comfortable.

"Too drunk to read. Read it to me," She yawned.

Alexi reached under the covers. Taking her hand in his he brought it up so that he could see her wrist.

"There's two," He told her as he squinted at the device. "Your Uncle says to be in his quarters by 0900," Alexi started.

"Is he kidding?"

"Says he'll have something waiting to cure your hangover," He added.

"Oh, well at least that's incentive. What's the other?"

"Umm…it's from Margot. Just says 'I'm sorry'. What's she sorry for?"

"I have no idea. That's weird." Katya shrugged and pulled the covers up to her chin with her free hand.

"Yeah," He agreed kissing the top of her hand before letting go. "Goodnight, myshka."

"Spoki," She whispered back.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 126B: ASSIGNMENT; ROSLIN/ADAMA

YEAR: 2315

As Bill walked into his cabin he felt like he was treading water. He'd hardly had any time to process anything and he knew it was going to be hard to face Laura. He stopped and leaned against the entrance of the bedroom and watched her in their rack. She had left the overhead light on for him and it shone down on her softly as she slept. She was beautiful and he loved her so much. The last thing he wanted to do was to ever upset her. She'd gone through enough in her last lifetime. He couldn't even begin to fathom her reaction to what this one had in store for her.

"I'm awake," She called out catching him off guard.

He couldn't help but smile at the sleepy sound of her voice. He kicked his shoes off and walked over to the rack.

Bill leaned over to kiss her cheek before starting to take his shirt off. She was curled up on her side facing the wall. Her eyes were still closed and her copper locks were splayed over the pillow.

"Did I wake you?" He asked as he started to take off his belt.

"Mmm no."

"Are you still in pain?"

Bill dropped his slacks and sat down on the bed to remove his socks.

"Yeah, I am," She admitted. "This is so frakking ridiculous," She muttered into the blanket.

He thought about apologizing for making her to go dinner. He knew she'd been uncomfortable and the tension between her and Katya surely hadn't helped. The only reason he’d encouraged her to go was because he was worried that she was trying to close herself off from the world. Bill worried the strange evening had made things even worse for her.

Once he was down to his undershirt and boxers Bill eased into bed and turned to nuzzle beside her. He spooned himself behind her and reached his arm around to lay his hand on her tummy. He felt awful about what she was going through. He knew that she was both utterly embarrassed and supremely annoyed. The issue didn't bother him in the least. He had been married before and he knew the drill, knew it'd be over in few days. It was just that he hated knowing that she was uncomfortable and that there was nothing he could do to help her. He rubbed little circles over her lower abdomen not knowing if it would help. For a moment he thought about the weird irony of the day.

"Did you take those pills the doctor gave you?" He asked softly behind her ear.

"Yeah. I took some before I got in bed. I slept for a while but they wore off. I just took another two. They'll kick in soon," She told him.

Laura was miserable. She was too old for this. She shouldn't be dealing with this now. She shouldn't be alive to deal with it. She should be resting peacefully on the other side. She had done her time. Everything just felt so wrong. Besides feeling bloated and achy she was just plain fed up. Though the pain was familiar it was more intense than she’d ever remembered. Maybe it had just been too long ago to truly recall but something felt off. For a moment she remembered her missing tonsils. It had seemed insignificant when she first found out. Then she started to realize that she would never have known they were gone had the doctor not volunteered the information. Even if they were just a pair of useless glands, it was still one more thing that had been taken from her without her permission, without her knowledge. It was one more thing that made her body feel strange and new and less like it belonged to her.

"Can I do anything for you?" Bill asked sweetly.

"No. I' m just glad you're here. I'll sleep better now," She said with a yawn.

"That's good.”

He scooped her a little closer and inhaled the scent of her hair.

Bill couldn't explain the overwhelming reaction he suddenly seemed to be having toward Laura. He hadn't expected it. Even though he knew what he had to tell her would hurt and confuse her, he couldn't help the way it was making him feel. Something was different than when he had left her after dinner. He never thought he could feel closer to Laura than he already did but somehow knowing they had a child together was making him feel connected to her in a way he never imagined. Something about the knowledge that she had carried his baby was making his heart swell inside of his chest with some primal mix of love and pride, even though it was tinged with sadness. He was overcome with an immutable urge that made him want to flip her over and engulf her mouth with his own in some bizarre gesture of gratitude. Was that sick? He didn't know. What he knew was that he felt guilty about it. Guilty because she had no idea it had even happened and guilty because he feared what she would think if she knew how it was making him feel. Should this really make such a difference in how he looked at her? It felt wrong. Maybe it was just his crude baser male instincts kicking in. It had to be. He thought that maybe if he tried hard enough he could turn them off but he didn't know if he truly wanted to.

His thoughts turned to the girl he now knew to be their daughter. He couldn't believe that he had another child. She was a woman really. They had missed whatever childhood she had. From the sounds of things it hadn't been the most pleasant. He thought of Saul and Ellen raising her. They seemed to love her a great deal but Bill could tell the girl was troubled. Laura couldn't stand her. The unfairness of the situation was overwhelming. Katya had grown up knowing he was her father but that she'd have to do without him. He'd never even had the chance to be aware of her. As he thought about her he wondered how he had missed her eyes. Maybe he hadn't missed them but now that he was aware of who she was they were just so obviously Adama. Saul was right; he saw Tamara in her too but that wasn't all. The more Bill thought about Katya; her facial expressions, her sharp tongue, bone structure and posture, the more he saw that Laura had been hidden in the girl all along. He wondered how he could so quickly feel for a child who he barely knew. He supposed it was a lot like the love he'd felt for Lee and Zak the moment they were first born. There was an overwhelming pull to care for them. There was an automatic need to protect them at all costs. There was a sudden burst of unconditional love. Bill thought about Katya's strange birth. As far as he knew there had been no one there to feel that way about her the day she was born and that broke his heart.

"Bill?" Laura asked half turning around in his arms. She had heard the change in his breathing and a few times heard the hitch in his throat. When she felt the moisture on her neck she knew it was his tears."Bill, you're crying. What's wrong?"

Bill shook his head and swallowed hard trying to think of how to answer her honestly.

"I…I was just thinking about my kids," He whispered in truth.

Laura's heart sunk for Bill. She had been so engulfed in the grief she'd been feeling since they downloaded that she hadn't thought about that. He seemed to be adjusting so much easier than she was but he must have felt it too. She knew in some way they had been with the people who they loved before they were resurrected. Even if she couldn't remember in what way or in what form, she knew they had been there. She missed her family and so did Bill. He’d been taken from his children.

"I'm sorry, Bill," She offered not sure of what to say to make it better.

She couldn't make it better for herself. What chance did she have in helping him?

He didn't say anything in return, just kissed at her temple. She turned back on her side and Bill continued to unconsciously thumb at her belly. He let a few quiet minutes pass before he spoke softly into her ear.

"Laura?"

"Hmm?"

"Before…" He started tentatively, "Back on Caprica; did you ever…" Bill stopped for a moment reconsidering what he was about to ask but something was pushing him to continue. He needed something, some kind of hint as to what he would soon be diving into. He needed to know anything that might help him put it into context for her. He took a deep breath and continued "Did you ever…think about having children?"

He felt her body go rigid in his arms almost immediately. It was enough to make him regret the question right away. For a moment when she didn't speak he wondered if she was going to ignore him but then she whispered so softly he almost didn't hear it.

"Why the frak would you ask me that?"

Bill couldn't tell if the question had angered her or upset her. As he struggled to come up with a response she suddenly rolled out of his arms and toward the wall. Bill didn't know what to do or say. She obviously didn't want him to say much of anything. He knew Laura and her pulling away was her shutting him out. At a loss Bill got up and made his way to the head to brush his teeth.

Laura curled up tighter on the bed. Part of her felt badly for turning away from him. He'd so obviously just been having an emotional moment. The other part of her was so annoyed at his question that it made it hard to care. She figured her current condition had been the catalyst for it and it made her even angrier at the situation. The last thing she wanted was for it to be some sort of open invitation to a discussion she had no interests in having. She had dealt with it enough for the day. She had been poked and prodded in Med Ward and Tawny even convinced her to have that stupid prevention implant put in like she was a godsdamn teenager. She didn't need one last probing from Bill as he hunted for some ancient hidden regret. Whatever way she had felt, whatever considerations she'd ever given the matter, it was all long gone and so far from relevant. What difference would it make for him to know? Why would he make her bring it up now? It didn't matter anymore and she didn't want to think about it.

Bill brushed his teeth in the head and then splashed some cool water on his face. He had no idea of how to interpret Laura's reaction to his question. Was it really so wrong of him to ask or had it just been bad timing? Perhaps he was overthinking it because of the looming reality. Either way it didn't bode well for the future. With a deep breath he returned to the bedroom. Once he was back under the covers he attempted to make amends.

"Laura, I'm sorry," Was all he said.

She was silent for a moment or two. He feared she was ignoring him.

"Let's just go to sleep, Bill."

Her voice sounded strained, like she was crying or at least had been while he was in the other room. Bill decided that he would just do more damage by asking so he let it go.

"I love you," He offered.

She didn't answer him. She just rolled back into the position they had been in before. Figuring that it was as much of a gesture of forgiveness as he was going to get, Bill snuggled back into place behind her. He buried his face in the crook of her neck and she didn't protest but when his hand reached for the place it had been resting on her belly she abruptly stopped him. He settled instead for her hip and then tried to get some sleep.

Chapter 13: Chapter 13

Chapter Text

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 119B: ASSIGNMENT; TIGH

YEAR: 2315

It had been over six months since she'd moved out but Ellen hadn't changed a thing in the room. As Katya looked around she wondered if her aunt ever would. There were pairs of ballet slippers hanging on posts on the wall, draped over the vanity mirror and propped up in corners of the shelving unit. They ranged from the first little pink split-soles she'd ever worn on stage to her last pair of frayed satin pointes that she knew still hid blood stains on the toe pads within them. Her clothes were no longer folded in the drawers and the hanger on head door that once held her spare uniform was bare. It still smelled the same though. It smelled like home; a mix of station laundry and Ellen's perfume. The rack's mattress still felt familiar against her back and she still found strange comfort in pressing her palm against the cold cabin wall as she lay there. Katya wondered how many nights she'd spent in the room dreaming up silly fantasies that would never come true and trying to forget nightmares of memories that would never go away.

Once when she was eight years old she had been stricken with a scalding fever. Her rising temperature was causing her to hallucinate. In the corners of her eyes she saw phantom bots darting around the room. She even heard their metal feet scraping against the floor and she could remember screaming her lungs out in Ellen's arms. Too scared to take her to Med Ward in her agitated state Saul messaged Dr. Xao to do an urgent cabin call. Once at her bedside the doctor took out his syringe pistol to give her an injection but Katya saw it as the hand of one of the chromed monsters. She became frantic, thrashing about the rack in a panic. It took both her aunt and uncle to hold her still against the mattress as Dr. Xao tried to work.

 

 

"What do you like to think of that makes you happy?" Xao asked once her body had calmed a bit.

With her eyes still frantically darting around the room she answered him.

"Flying. Flying in a Falcon…fast like the patrol pilots. I like to imagine I can fly," She told the man through hot tears.

"Then do that for me now, Yekaterina," He told her. She closed her eyes and tried as he leaned in to administer the sedative that would put her out until she was well again.

 

 

 

Now she closed her eyes and tried to do the same. It wasn't working. When she arrived at the Tigh's earlier Saul had something waiting for her hangover as promised. She'd made a face when she saw it. It had always been a staple in the Tigh household but only Saul really knew what it contained. It was best to knock it back in a few short gulps.

"Just drink it," Saul told her as she stared at the muddy colored mixture. "You know it works."

And it did. He and Ellen had both benefited from the mystery concoction early in the morning before Katya even made it to the cabin. They both needed it after the night they'd had. The couple hadn't spoken much when Saul returned home. He told Ellen it was done, that Bill knew. Her only reply was that she'd have no part in telling Katya. He hadn't argued with her. They’d gone to bed without saying much more.

When Katya arrived she noticed that her aunt was uncharacteristically quiet and that her uncle seemed to have something on his mind. Katya sat with Saul at the dinner table. It still hadn't been put away from the night before. Alexi was supposed to come move it when his shift was through later in the day.

"So is this so I'm awake enough for you to yell at me about last night's dinner?" Katya asked after her second swig of murky liquid.

Ellen remained silent on the sofa as she fiddled with her cabin tablet. Katya could that tell she was purposely avoiding whatever conversation her husband had planned. Saul paused for a while before he answered. He seemed to be studying her face, looking into her eyes as if he would suddenly find something new there after all these years.

"What?" She asked slamming back the rest of her drink and pushing the empty glass away.

"Yeah, Katya. That’s partially why I asked you to come," Saul had started.

Katya looked to Ellen who was still doing a poor job at pretending she wasn't paying them any attention. Facing her uncle again she stayed quiet and shrugged waiting for him to go on.

"Katya, I know that woman ticked you off the other day on Beta but I'm asking you to cut her some slack…for me."

"It wasn't just what happened on Beta. She bothers me," Katya insisted.

"Even so, you need to take a step back and think about what you're doing. I'm not asking you to like her. I'm asking you to show Laura Roslin and Bill Adama that Ellen and I raised you with some sense of respect," Saul stopped himself when the volume of his voice started to climb. He knew as soon as he started to yell at her he'd lose her focus and then she'd only be interested in shouting back at him. He reassessed and started over. "So, now you've met them and you see that they're just two flawed people, just like the rest of us. You still need to remind yourself of what they've done and what they're here to do now," Saul explained.

"She doesn't seem too eager to do anything now; surely nothing that would be of any help to us. You heard her the other day," Katya tried to dispute.

"Kat, the woman is having trouble dealing with what's happened to her. You can appreciate that. You told me yourself before they downloaded that you wouldn't be surprised to see them both struggle with their resurrection," He challenged.

"Struggle with their surroundings, struggle with coming to terms with being alive again, sure…but I never imagined she'd refuse to help. I never imagined she'd even consider it. Not after what we told them," Katya went back, her voice slightly raised.

"She didn't refuse, Katya, not yet."

"Well she certainly implied that she would," Katya scowled.

"I'll admit she didn't seem too thrilled about the process but I know that woman. You give her a chance and she'll come around. She'd never leave an entire people to surrender to their deaths, not once she truly understood. Even if she thought the situation was hopeless. I know it," Saul insisted emphatically leaning over the table.

Katya still looked skeptical.

"Kit, listen to me. She and I were left to die once on a shitty little mud-caked planet that was taken over by a misguided and violent enemy. The Admiral was gone and there was no military to protect us. We were both put in containment. That's where I lost my frakkin' eye, Katya. Gods only know what what was done to her in there…but we both got out and when we did she helped me spring into frakking action," He said with fervor. "She helped me convince a bunch of tired scared kids, just like you, that they could fight against something so much bigger than themselves. She helped me show them that they shouldn't just lie down and wait to be killed. She helped me convince them that they should fight until the bitter end even if that end had nothing in store for them but grim death. She helped me fire up a damn revolution when there wasn't a glimmer of hope to be seen. That is the woman I knew," He said slowly relaxing into his chair.

As Katya thought about his words she looked to Ellen yet again. She was so used to their usual three way confrontations. When one of them sat out it was usually a tactical move. The woman's jaw was clenched. Katya could see the muscles around her mandible were taut and tense. She could tell that she was fighting not to speak, not to look up at where they sat.

Katya knew little about their time on New Caprica. Saul and Ellen had shared so much with her about their journey to Earth. They always answered all of her questions and gave her as many details as they could. They loved to do it because she'd always gotten so much joy out of the stories when she was young. Still, there were some things they chose not to share with her. The girl had no idea that Saul had once taken Ellen's life and they never planned to tell her. Katya knew that Ellen had died on New Caprica. She knew of how she’d eventually resurrected and returned to the fleet. She even knew about Saul's relationship with Alexi's mother; the Six they called Caprica. She'd just always been led to believe Ellen had died during the exodus off of the planet and the couple saw no benefit of telling her otherwise.

Katya wondered if Saul's story had made Ellen think of her death. It would explain her current posture at least. Katya recalled Ellen's description of resurrecting with a personality that was somewhat altered from the one she had before. When she looked back at her uncle she cocked her head to the side in thought.

"Maybe Laura Roslin's not the same woman you once knew," She posed squinting her eyes at him. "I hear death can really change a person," She remarked.

He inhaled deeply and let the breath out before he spoke. He knew Katya was referencing Ellen's experience and even brushing the topic with her had always made him uneasy.

"Maybe…but we don't know that yet. What I do know is that she's been having a hard time. She hasn't been well and she needs our support not our grief."

"What?” Katya said furrowing her brow. “What do you mean? Is she sick?

Ellen let out a snort from her spot on the sofa. When Katya glanced in her direction she sat with a smirk still feigning interest in the device she held.

Katya bit at her lower lip. Laura Roslin had certainly looked fine to her last night. She didn't like the woman but the last thing she wanted was for Adama or Roslin to be ill in any way. They still needed them so desperately.

"She's healthy as far as I know," Saul answered ignoring whatever Ellen found to be so humorous. "Bill says she’s just been feeling a little off. It's all the more reason I'm asking you to do this for me, Katya. You know how I feel about Bill…And Laura, well she means everything to him. He's the one who can convince her that this is where they need to be. He's the one who can persuade her into helping. You think he's going to be more inclined to do that after hearing you verbally assault his woman every chance you get?"

Katya winced at his words and looked away.

"Whatever else you are, kit, you're a representative of your people and the force that fights to protect them. Show Roslin and Adama that your people are worth saving," He proposed earnestly. He’d tried his best but when Katya looked back at him she was stone faced and silent. "Just lay off her, is all, Katya," He finished.

She pressed her lips together before nodding.

"Fine," She answered. "I'll do my best to keep quiet around her…unless she provokes me, that is," She added.

"That's all I'm asking," Saul conceded.

Katya huffed and let her shoulders slump.

"Is that all? Can I go now?" She asked.

Now that Saul's miracle cure was kicking in she figured she might as well go work out the rest of the toxins she'd put into her body with a trip to the gym. Plus, she needed to find a new target for her aggression besides Roslin. A punching bag would do. Upon ber request to be excused she saw her uncle's eye darken and he shook his head.

"No, Katya. I still have something I need to tell you,” He said grimly.

She didn't like the tone in his voice. It was all at once grave and sullen, as if he didn't really want to say whatever he was about to tell her.

"What, now?" She asked glancing at Ellen once more.

Her stomach sank when she saw the woman thumbing tears from her still downcast eyes. Katya suddenly feared she knew what her uncle was about to say.

With a hard swallow Saul looked her in the eyes and spoke.

"Bill Adama knows who you are, Katya. After dinner last night I took him to the Luna Force office alone and I told him," He finished.

She didn't respond. She couldn't.

"I had to, Katya. When we were on Delta yesterday Bill saw Margot in the lab."

Katya could see that Ellen was finally watching her but she didn't return her attention.

"He was starting to ask questions. I' couldn't keep it from him anymore," Saul tried to explain but Katya had already heard what he had to say and she was done.

It was then that she quietly rose from the table and headed toward the solace of her old bedroom. She'd been there ever since. Saul hadn't followed her.

It had been almost a half hour since she'd fled from his news and no one had bothered her yet. Some nights she missed her old room. She'd avoided bunking in the officer's quarters by staying at home even after enlisting. If she hadn't gotten married she would still be spending her nights there. She remembered sleepovers with Tawny and Margot and Ellen braiding her hair before bed. She remembered how her uncle would come in and kiss her goodnight and how it always made her feel so much safer.

When Blaze and Alexi's fathers were gone they became orphans. When her father died she’d gotten a new family, her own room and a home. A knock at the entrance finally snapped her out of the past. Ellen was in the doorway.

"Can I come in?" She asked tentatively.

Katya shrugged.

"This isn't my room anymore. It's your cabin. Come in if you want," She answered dully.

Ellen huffed as she made her way over to the bed.

"Katya, this will always be your room. You know that," She told her but Katya said nothing in return. She just stared over her shoulder at some point on the wall. "Uncle Saul wasn't done talking with you, kitten.” She said looking down over her.

Katya finally gave the other woman some brief eye contact.

"I was done listening," She stated flatly.

Ellen nodded in understanding.

"Scoot over, kitten," Ellen said patting Katya on her thigh and moving to lie down beside her. There was hardly room for two on the rack but they had cuddled up like this so often they knew how to make it fit. Katya turned over on her stomach and faced the wall. Ellen lay on her side behind her as she started to gently rub her hand soothingly over Katya's back. "Do you remember how I used to do this when you couldn't sleep?" She asked continuing to make little figure eights between Katya's shoulder blades. The girl only nodded in response. "Some nights you'd have those bad dreams and I thought I'd never get you to calm down…" Ellen wistfully recalled. "…but this always eventually did the trick."

She continued to run her fingers over and over, moving Katya’s long locks to the side to get to her nape and softly crisscrossing down to her waist and up again until she felt a definite hitch in the girl's breathing. Ellen put her arm around Katya and hugged her closer.

"Baby, it's alright to cry," She told her. "This isn't easy. I know you were dreading it but your uncle is right; it had to happen sooner or later. We just have to deal with it now. It's alright to let it out," Ellen told her.

Even as a small child Katya's father had always encouraged her to stave off her tears as long as she could possibly help it. He wanted her to be strong, to have control over her feelings. He told her that to reveal your emotions to another was to allow them to predict your actions. Unfortunately Katya's sadness tended to turn into anger if she held it in too long. It had taken Ellen a long time to get the girl out of the habit of bottling things up. Sometimes she still did.

"That's not it," Katya cried through a stifled sob.

"Then what's wrong?" Ellen asked holding her tighter as she heard the strain in her words.

Katya tried to find her voice again. She hated to hear herself waver.

"I just feel guilty…" She started but faltered.

"For what? For everything that's happened with Laura? Honey, don't. Look, Saul's right. Maybe you should cool it, or at least keep your distance from the woman but you don't have to feel bad about anything you said to her. She doesn't understand the position you're in. I don't blame you a bit and deep down neither does Saul," Ellen tried to assure her but Katya shook her head.

"Not about that…not really. About you and Uncle Saul. Over the years I just…" Her words kept catching in her throat.

"Sweetie, you have nothing to feel guilty about when it comes to us. Why would you say that?"

Ellen leaned up on her elbow a bit to look down at her but Katya wouldn't look back. She kept her tear blurred eyes on the wall against the rack.

"Because it's true. I've been an awful daughter," She finally choked out. "You two took me in and loved me, cared for me, did everything and anything for me and still, I never stopped thinking of them. I never stopped wanting that man, that stranger, to be my father. I never stopped wanting that frigid woman to be my mother. I used to cry at night because I didn't have her, because I was scared I'd never get to know her. I cried for a mother who never wanted me when I already had one who wanted nothing more than to be there for me. I loved you and Uncle Saul so much but I could never just be satisfied with you two as my parents," Katya spouted unable to stop the flood of emotion.

Ellen felt her own breath lost somewhere between her lungs and her lips as she listened to Katya continue.

"I don't know why it was so deeply ingrained in my head that they would fill some part of me that was missing. I know now that was stupid. You took care of me when I was sick, you loved me even when I was hard to love and still, I always wanted something more. You knew that, you saw it. I was such a selfish brat that I never even thought to attempt to hide it and you still loved me anyway! You've loved me as a daughter and I've treated you like you weren't enough of a mother. I'm so ashamed of that now. And what's even more sickening is that even though I know now that it was wrong to feel that way, I still can't shake it. I hate the sight of that woman now and still some stupid fucked up part of me still wants so badly to call her my mom. I hate that. I hate it. You're the only mother I've ever had and you don't deserve that and I'm so sorry, Ellen!"

When Katya was through she sobbed into the pillow. Her body shook in Ellen's arms but the other woman could hardly tell the girl's quivering and jerking cries from her own. She hadn't expected that out of Katya. It was hard to hear but Ellen felt the raw love and gratitude that spilled in between the harsh admissions and weeping remorse. She'd known Katya felt that way for years. Though Ellen sometimes wished it wasn't so, she never resented Katya for her feelings. She couldn't. It was part of who the girl was long before they'd even known that she existed. Even though the knowledge wasn't new Ellen couldn't help but be moved by Katya's recognition of it. She was so moved by her concern for their feelings and her reverence for all that they had done for her.

Before Ellen could collect herself enough to speak she heard a sound at the entrance of the room. Quickly glancing back she saw Saul standing in the doorway. She didn't know how long he had been standing there and Katya hadn't seemed to notice him through her sobs. Ellen didn't alert her to his presence but she didn't motion for him to leave either. When he didn't speak she turned back to Katya and pulled her close.

"Baby, I don't want you to feel guilty for any of that," Ellen spoke softly into her ear.

Somehow it made Katya sob harder.

"You need to take a deep breath, sweetie," Ellen worriedly told Katya as she felt the girl’s body heave and shake against her chest. Ellen hugged her even tighter as if it would stifle her tremors. "Me and Uncle Saul, we know how much you love us, kitten. We've always known. I saw it in your eyes when you were a little girl and Uncle Saul would come home after a long shift. I felt it in your arms every time you held onto me for hug. Neither of us has ever doubted your love.”

Katya still couldn't stop her tears enough to speak so Ellen kept going.

"I think that hole you feel, that space you've always thought Bill and Laura would fill…I think it's partially our fault. Your father and Saul and me, we raised you to feel like you were always waiting on something. We encouraged that part of you that was so curious to know them. We did it with all of our stories and by making sure that you were so connected to the project and the lab. Maybe we fed into it too much. I never wanted you to grow up not feeling like a whole person without them. You shouldn't have been made to feel that way; to think that you had to rely on someone else to feel complete. So as long as we're saying our ‘sorries’, that's mine," Ellen confessed as she leaned over and wiped some tears from Katya's cheek with her fingers.

When Katya finally turned to face Ellen neither could stand the pain in the other's eyes. Ellen kissed at the girl's forehead and gave her a little smile.

"What do I do now?" Katya asked between some involuntary sniffles.

Ellen shrugged.

"Nothing. You just go on living your life. You go home to Alexi. You get up and get in the cockpit. You bust Blazer's balls on the flight deck," Ellen teased getting a tiny smirk out of Katya. "You just keep going. You don't owe anyone anything. If Bill or Laura want to come to you then you…take it from there. But Katya, as wrong as this sounds, I don't think you're going to know how you really feel about either of them until they know how they feel about you. And that's just another reason why Saul had to tell Bill," She explained.

Katya closed her eyes and at bit at her lip.

"Does she know too?"

"We don't know yet," Saul finally spoke from the doorway looking down at his boots.

Both women sat up on their elbows at the sound of his voice. Katya wondered how long he had been there. Ellen figured that he'd heard most of it.

"If she doesn't she will soon,” He added chancing a look at both of them. “I can't see Bill keeping it from her for long,"

Ellen stuck her hand out inviting him to come in. He walked slowly over to the rack somewhat worried that Katya would decide to dismiss him but she didn't. He took the hand Ellen had extended.

Ellen gripped tightly onto her husband’s hand in an unspoken expression. They had somehow made a little family with the girl beside them. Out of everything the two had done together that made Ellen the happiest. Through their entire arduous existence there were times she had been unfaithful, disloyal and even dismissive of him but somehow in this union she hadn't faltered and she was proud of it. Though Saul never said it she knew he was as well.

Katya let out a long and shaky breath before speaking to her uncle.

"What did he...how did he…" She attempted.

She knew what she wanted to ask him but she found herself unusually tongue tied.

"About how you'd expect," Saul answered as he sat down by their feet; the only place he could find even a sliver of free space on the bed. "He was shocked, he was angry, he was confused," He admitted.

Katya looked at her station cuff suddenly recalling the night before.

"Margot sent me a message last night" She said as it finally dawned on her. "It said she was sorry...I didn't understand why."

"It wasn't her fault, sweetie,” Ellen said as she played with a lock of Katya’s hair. “We both forgot to tell her that Bill would be there yesterday. I'm sure she feels awful. You call her when you're ready.”

 

"I didn't think she’d be there,” Saul shrugged. “Once Bill knew who she was he all but figured the rest out for himself. That's why I had to tell him last night, kit. I'm sorry if you feel like I should have told you before I did it," He offered as he placed a gentle hand on Katya's ankle.

"No,” She said with a shake of her head. “No more apologies. I think we're all done saying sorry," She told them both with finality.

Ellen smiled softly in agreement and kissed the side of her head before Saul continued.

"Kat, if I know Bill he's going to want to talk to you sooner rather than later. I just want you to be prepared for that," Saul told her. "Ellen's right, you don't owe him anything but I want you to give him your respect for as long as he offers you his."

After a long pause Katya nodded.

"Yes, Sir," She agreed. She couldn't fix anything she'd done in the past but the least she could do was try not to embarrass the people who had brought her up,"Uncle Saul?"

"Hm?"

"Do you think I can get back on the board early? I'm sort of done with being on leave," She proposed apprehensively.

Saul looked to his wife and she shrugged, leaving it up to him.

"I guess that would be okay. I think I could get Kaplan to agree if you talk to your CAG. Just so long as Tawny's says it’s fine," He considered, thinking of her fainting spell. "I just don't want you going back to active duty to hide from all this, Katya. It'll only be waiting for you at the end of the day." He cautioned.

Katya looked at Ellen and then back to her Saul.

"I know. That's not it," She answered, her voice finally stable, "I just want to fly."

LOCATION: INNER ORBIT; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

ALPHA PATROL SECTION

LUNA FORCE SQUADRON: ACTIVE PATROL; NO COMBAT

YEAR: 2315

Katya sat in her falcon as she completed her thirty fifth revolution of her patrol ellipses. Though she wasn't getting any atmosphere boarder time she was grateful to be back in the cockpit. It helped her to clear her head. Sometimes she felt as if she could breathe easier within her tiny pressurized helmet than she could inside the entire HEPA-filtered over oxygenated station. It hadn’t take long at all to convince Kaplan to let her return early. Once Tawny gave the okay so did the CAG. He’d hated that she was going to be out the rest of the week to begin with. He was thrilled to have her back on the board. As she flew she finally felt some sense of stability despite there being literally nothing beneath her. It had been two days since Katya learned that Bill Adama knew who she was and the man had made no attempt to contact her. She was both enormously grateful and totally offended. She still had no idea if Laura Roslin knew her identiy or not. Alexi encouraged Katya to forget about the resurrected couple. He told her that they were there for a purpose and that she wasn't it. She figured he was right. She'd ceased her involvement in the project once they were resurrected. Alpha's stasis chambers were empty. She had no reason to return there. Unless there was some direct need for her assistance she decided that she was done with that part of her life.

Katya smiled to herself when she thought she saw Blaze ellipse her in the opposite direction. She opened a line to his bird on the com system to confirm.

"That you shaking your tail at me, Blazer?" She said with a laugh.

"Affirmative, Koshka. I'm just happy to see you back out here. Figured I'd give you a little welcome home dance," He answered.

"What rev are you on, LT?"

"Uh, twenty-one. I didn't see you on the flight deck this morning. You must have taxied out way before me."

"I was anxious to get going. I missed my baby," Katya told him as she pet her control board.

"Yeah, she was lookin' mighty lonely sitting on the deck without you. Started collecting dust," He teased.

"Well I've got her now and I don't plan on taking any extended vacations for a long, long time."

"That's a big 10-4, Cap."

"So I hear a date was set for the download on Beta," Katya enquired. “My parents told me last night.”

Saul and Ellen had given her and Alexi the news as the sat down for dinner. Katya was surprised to hear that it would be happening sooner than she’d thought. She knew the EOC was eager but things had been relatively calm in Orbit lately and they had originally planned for a larger gap between resurrections.

"Seems that way,” He confirmed. “Elle was nice enough to give me a heads up yesterday before Dr. Le Blanc called called."

"Ah, and how is the lovely lady doing?" Katya asked facetiously.

She didn't really have any true hatred toward Margot's mother. The scientist was known for being quite demanding and overzealous. Often that was enough to rub people the wrong way. To say Margot was nothing like her was an understatement. The doctor had always been protective of all four of them throughout their lives. Katya had spent many nights on Delta under Michelle Le Blanc's watchful eye. She often went there to spend time with Margot and the woman always made her feel welcome as her cold nature could manage. Still, there were times Katya felt herself resenting the doctor for some of the tests that had been done to them as kids. They weren't exactly hurt by any of them, at least not technically, but it still felt odd knowing what their own parents had subjected them to. Katya knew that Le Blanc had spearheaded the idea once interest in the four as potential replacements for their birth parents had been eliminated. Their creation had been deemed a failure but Le Blanc found ways to make them useful. They were the perfect subjects; children of scientists who had full access to them whenever they pleased. The fact that they were genetically different from the rest of the populace was also an interesting bonus. None of them had Earth-human lineage in their DNA. Margot was full Cylon just like Saul and Ellen. Alexi and Blaze were both Colonial-Cylon hybrids and at the time Katya had been the only living pure Colonial human in Orbit. They were like isolated samples of the genetics that had combined long ago to make up the general population’s DNA. Their adoptive scientist parents took full advantage. Katya supposed that some of the resentment over the tests should have gone toward her own father. After all, Isakoff willingly had her participate in every experiment. But he was dead and Le Blanc was alive to take the blame.

"Oh, she’s just dandy, cool as a cucumber as always," Blazer mockingly returned.

"So, are you still excited?"

"I dunno, Koshka. I think I'm going to head over to Beta's lab tomorrow and figure that out," He admitted.

"Well, you better hurry up, L.T. You have ten days."

"What about you? Heard pops Adama knows the deal. You seen him yet?"

"No way. My uncle told him and he pretty much disappeared. I haven't seen or heard from either of them since we all had dinner. Ellen said they're keeping to themselves. I couldn't really give a fuck less," She announced.

"Yeah, Alexi kind of mentioned that. Just thought maybe something changed."

"That's a negative. I wish you better luck, Lieutenant."

"I hear that," He told her. "And, Koshka?"

"Yeah, L.T?"

"If they don't want to know you it's their loss. They don't know what they're missing."

Katya's line was silent for a time.

"Thanks, Blazer."

"10-4, Cap,"

A break in the feed filled both of their cockpits with static.

"Blazer, Koshka, this is your CAG speaking. Will you two freaks quit jabbering and just fly?"

"Now that's a 10-4, Major. Koshka; over and out," She said on the com before breaking the connection.

"Freak number two here over and out," Blazer added as he laughed to himself in his cockpit.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR A

CIVILIAN SECTOR

OBSERVATION DECK 2

YEAR: 2315

The gallery was empty except for them. Saul asked Kaplan to arrange it that way. They didn't like that Bill and Laura were venturing into the civilian sector of the station so soon but with a specially selected team of marine escorts and the stipulation that the place be closed down for their private use the officers had agreed.

Bill had let more than a day go by after Saul's admission before contacting his friend again. During the first day he and Laura stayed in their cabin. He was nursing his first hangover in over 200,000 years and she still hadn't been feeling well. Neither felt much like facing the world but by the next day Bill decided he wouldn't encourage their seclusion anymore. Laura's affliction had completely passed and his hangover was long gone. There was no reason for them to be held up in their cabin like it was some kind of fall-out bunker. Bill knew Laura would be content to stay hidden behind the protective walls of their quarters indefinitely and that was all the more reason he felt they needed to get out. The air in the cabin had started to feel oppressive. He knew it was partially because of the secret he now held. He hadn't been able to tell her yet. After their strange exchange the night he found out there had been a sort of awkward tension between them. He just didn't know where to start.

When Bill finally called Saul it was to ask for help. He wanted to get Laura out of the cabin. He wanted to take her mind off of things and do something; anything unrelated to the reason they were there. Ellen came up with the idea of a trip to one of the civilian corridors. The civvie areas of the station didn't offered more in the way of entertainment than the military side .There was a theater, a museum and a few eateries where people could enjoy a meal in more pleasant surroundings than the cafeteria for a few extra station credits. Ellen thought it would pair well with a trip to the civilian observation deck. The view from that end of the station was something to behold. On her suggestion Saul proposed the trip to Bill and he'd agreed to it quickly. He was up for anything that might brighten Laura's outlook.

Their meal had been quiet. The marines stood guard close by but the eatery was otherwise nearly empty. They had gone during the day when most of the citizens were busy with their own jobs and station jurisdictions. Though they were relatively alone conversation over lunch had been an effort. It wasn't easy for Bill to decide what he should bring up and what would be better left unsaid. He hesitated to bring up anything about the project at the table. He was trying to give her a break from it. Anything mentioned about their past seemed to make her sad and topics that once used to effortlessly flow between them now seemed irrelevant and worlds away. Bill hoped the seclusion of the observation gallery might get Laura to open up a bit after their meal. Once they’d arrived he'd even asked the guards to wait outside the hatch so they would truly be on their own. As they sat there watching the expanse of space and the curvature of the planet's horizon below them Bill's hope of a more relaxed exchange was fading. Laura was quiet beside him as they watched the Orbit traffic passing by. When planning the trip Saul told Bill that Katya would be flying patrol while they were in the gallery. Bill wasn't sure what his reaction had seemed like to Saul. The very utterance of Katya’s name had caught Bill off guard and he’d hardly responded. He had a feeling Saul had taken offence but he hadn't meant to ignore his mention of the girl.

His guilt about keeping the news from Laura was growing. It was starting to gnaw at him. Though he kept it from Laura he liked knowing the girl was out there somewhere as they watched. His internal debate over whether or not to contact Katya himself was still dithering. Though he truly wanted to he wondered if speaking to her on his own before Laura knew would be somehow wrong.

They sat in the center of the first row of seats. The room was dark but the light from the planet below them cast a blue glow in the room. Bill reached his hand out to cover Laura's knee and gain her attention.

"You're not enjoying this, are you?" He finally asked.

She didn't look back at him at first, keeping her focus on the floor to ceiling window in front of them. She shrugged before giving him her eyes.

"The view is beautiful, it's just," She looked back at the planet below them and her voice trailed off.

"It's strange to see it, isn't it?" Bill finished for her.

She nodded in agreement. When they were on the Shuttle-Hawk to Beta she'd purposely avoided looking out the port. Now there was nowhere else to look.

"We fought so hard to get there, Laura," He said in a low tone.

"I remember," She whispered.

"So we wouldn't have to run anymore. So no one would have to run anymore," He continued.

She slowly turned her head toward him suspicious of where he was going with his words.

"I remember that, Bill," She told him more firmly.

She found something offensive about the way he said it, as if he was implying that she'd forgotten everything they'd gone through or their reasons.

Bill considered his minimal options. If they couldn't talk about anything from their past then he wasn't going to just let her ignore the future. It was all they had. He needed to get her to face it.

"They're running again. Only this time they can't run very far. They're stuck here," He observed.

"I'm well aware of that,” Laura said with a scowl. “What are you getting at?”

Bill scratched his forehead with his thumb and sighed.

"Nothing, I guess. It's just, Saul told me this morning that a date had been set for Helo and Athena's download. Ten days. I guess I was just thinking of what that might mean.”

Laura leaned back in her chair and looked silently down at her lap.

"What are your thoughts on it?" Bill tried to prompt.

"My thoughts," She repeated in a low curt tone.

"Yes, Laura, your thoughts and your opinions. You used to share them with me whether I wanted to hear them or not. I want to know what you think," He pressed letting in a hint of frustration.

"It's happening no matter what my thoughts on it may be," She said rolling her eyes but making sure they didn't stop in his direction.

"So should we both just sit here and pretend it isn't happening?" He glowered feeling his irritation on the rise.

Laura just wanted Bill to stop but she knew there was no hope in that happening and for some reason his determination was making her resent him.

"You're not going to let that happen," She goaded with a cynical smirk, her eyes still downcast.

Bill knew now that she wasn't going to make this easy on him. He'd do anything to help her but he wouldn't let her mock his concern.

"Would you really rather I did?" He said with more fire as he leaned closer toward her. "Should I just let you slide slowly into whatever pit of denial you're digging yourself?"

"I am not in denial," She spit back leaning away from him.

"Then what the hell is it, Laura? This depression, this despondent nature you've adopted," He accused, "It's not you!"

"Being in denial about it isn't the same as just plain hating it," She nearly hissed back.

Bill leaned away from her and shook his head.

"So that's it? You decided within a week that you hate it here and so you're not even going to attempt to deal with it? I know this hasn't been easy on you. I know this version of your body hasn't exactly been cooperating in making it a pleasant experience so far but you've dealt with worse and didn't give up."

"I don't hate it here, Bill. I hate that I have to be here. I hate that I was taken from where I was. I may hardly remember it anymore but I know that I was beyond happy there and I know that I am absolutely miserable here," She admitted with contempt in every word, "You were happy there too, Bill," She added.

Bill's patience had suddenly worn. She'd always been good at getting him to his breaking point.

"Well I'm not frakking there anymore, Laura! I'm here and I would think that would mean a little more to you than it seems to," He said pushing himself angrily out of his chair.

As he paced in front of Laura she couldn't look at him but when he stopped in his tracks she could feel his eyes almost burning through her.

"You know, Laura, I told you that as long as I was with you I'd find happiness no matter where I was. It hurts to know it doesn't go both ways," He nearly growled.

At his harsh implication Laura shot out of her own chair to meet him.

"That's not fair, Bill, and it's not true!" She shouted.

Bill saw her eyes fill with tears and rage as she stepped toward him.

"I don't know why the hell this is so hard for me! I don't know why the hell it seems so easy for you but you don't get to tell me that I'm not grateful to have you by my side!" She seethed moving closer to him until there was hardly any space between them."Don't you dare say that to me again," She breathily warned.

Neither was sure how long they stood there boring into one another but Laura was the first to look away breaking the fierce connection between their eyes.

She looked toward the floor and her shoulders dropped. As Bill watched her he saw that she looked somehow defeated. Whether it was due to circumstance or his own accusations he didn't know but he knew that fighting wasn't the way to fix things. He took a half a step toward her closing the thin gap that was left. He placed his hands on her elbows encouraging her to hold on to him. She did so tightly and soon he felt like his returned embrace was the only thing keeping her upright. As she cried softly into his shoulder he whispered his one word apology over and over. He only attempted to say anything else once her tremors seemed to have quieted.

"We have to find you a way to get past this," He whispered into her hair before breaking their close contact.

She didn't answer but allowed him to help her sit back in her seat.

He took the chair beside her and lifted up the armrest that separated them to more easily grasp her hand.

"I'm sorry, Bill," She told him as she wiped at some tears with her free hand. "I don't know why I can't snap out of this," She told him attempting a smile that faded before it ever really materialized.

"It's alright, Laura. All I care about is that you at least want to."

She shrugged.

"I don't want to live life like this. Even a life that wasn't my choice. But when you told me about Karl and Sharon my first thought was that I was glad it was happening soon. I was glad because it’s one step closer to this being all over," She said in pain coated honesty.

It hurt him to hear her speak like that but at least she was speaking now.

"That's just it Laura; you can't think that way. You can't rely on some big finish or some final end to all of this because we don't know what that end is going to look like. We don't know how long this is going to take. We don't even know what we're supposed to do yet. It may not be one simple thing. We spent years doing our part last time. Who knows what this is going to bring us?"

Laura winced at his words.

"Laura, even if this did wind up being as simple as saying some magic word, even if our part in this was over in a day, we're still here. We're here, we're alive, we exist…and…I don't know about you but I'm not planning on offing myself as soon as I think these people are done with me. If that's even close to what you're thinking I'm asking you to stop," He paused looking sternly into her eyes, "You can't leave me here again, Laura. You already had your turn to go first," He said taking a shot at some morbid hint of humor before his eyes welled, "Don't do that to me again…not on purpose."

The pleading look in his eyes made Laura's heart shatter. She'd been so blinded by her own hopelessness. She could see now how much it had hurt him. She didn't know how she was suddenly supposed to will herself out of the darkness she'd been in but she knew she didn't want to drag Bill down into it with her. He loved her and she decided that he shouldn't be punished for that.

"I won't. Not on purpose. I promise, Bill." She told him leaning in and running her hand down the side of his face.

She thought she heard him say 'thank you' but it was lost in a choked out sob right before she covered his lips with her own. She leaned in hard and ran her tongue over his bottom lip encouraging him to respond.

Bill was surprised at her eagerness at first but soon he found himself returning the kiss with the same wrenching passion. Laura hadn't let him kiss her with such passion since they downloaded. There had been a strange distance between them no matter how hard he'd tried to close it. He knew it had been due to a mixture of her grief and perhaps some self consciousness over their new bodies but whatever had caused it Bill felt it starting to melt away with the warmth of her lips.
When Laura finally broke the kiss Bill’s eyes were smiling. His hopefulness pained her even more.

"I think that's a step in the right direction," He teased but she couldn't bring herself to laugh at his small joke.

She shook her head.

"I haven't been here for you, Bill. I've been so consumed by my own frakked up feelings that I haven't even thought about yours. You reached out to me the other night and I couldn't even bring myself to…"

Bill stopped her by cupping her chin.

"It's okay. As long as you don't shut me out we can fix it," He assured her.

He stood and held out his hand to help her to do the same.
When she did she enveloped him with her arms again and cradled her head in his neck. Bill held her against him lost in thought as he stared over her shoulder out the observation window. He squeezed her tightly as he watched two patrol falcons gracefully ellipse each other.

"Laura, please trust me,” He asked softly. “I have a feeling you're going to find that this life has a lot more to offer you than you think.”

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 119B: ASSIGNMENT; TIGH

"How was your first day back, kitten?"

Ellen called from the kitchenette where she was warming up dinner. Katya and Alexi rarely ate dinner in their own quarters. If their schedules allowed one or both of them would usually find their way to the Tigh's around supper time. Ellen didn't mind. It had been that way before the two got married and she was happy to still have the frequent family meals. If left to their own devices the young couple would rarely order in-cabin meals. Most often they would head to the mess hall with friends and Katya would pick at her plate while Alexi stuffed his face enough for the both of them. Tigh family dinners gave Ellen the chance to make sure they both ate well.

"I was happy to be back,” Katya answered her. “It was boring, but that's a good thing. I did seventy-five revolutions… felt really good to fly again," She said happily from where she sat on the L shaped sofa with Saul and Alexi.

They were half watching some new military recruiting video. They supposedly each had little cameos in the production that now streamed every hour on the hour over the Orbit network. The legal adult age according to Orbit law was twenty-one. Up until ten years earlier everyone of age was obligated to one year of mandatory station patrol service. The EOC had voted the practice out due to pressure from some civilian rights groups but enlistment had been dwindling over the last few years. These new recruiting videos were just a precursor to the military's plan to lean into the EOC until the service act was reinstated.

"I'm glad to hear it," Ellen returned, pouring herself a drink.

She was happy to hear a lightness in Katya's voice that had been missing for a long time.

"Oh, I talked to Margot today," Katya informed the room. "She felt really bad about the other day but I tried to tell her what happened wasn't anyone's fault."

"That's good, honey,” Ellen replied. “At least she doesn't have to worry about staying away from Alpha anymore.”

"I know. I'm at least glad about that,” Katya agreed. “We're going to hang out this weekend. She said she was coming to Alpha anyway. She's got a date on board," She said with a smirk.

"Oh yeah?” Alexi said still mostly engrossed in the video feed. “With who?”

"Dr. Kahdim…from the lab," She answered.

"Sydra?" Ellen asked.

"Yes, ma'am," Katya confirmed with a grin.

"Huh, well, I hope that works out,” Ellen considered out loud as she walked over to where they were all sitting. “They'd be kind of cute together."

"Margot could fit that girl in her pocket," Alexi chided earning a playful shove in the arm from Katya.

The two women did have quite a height difference. Sydra was so petite while Margo had legs for days and a lean athletic build.

"Well, Kat, you be sure and bring Margot to see me when she's here," Saul chimed in," I want to make sure that girl knows there's no hard feelings on my end. She looked scared as hell when she walked into the lab that day and saw us. Think she thought I was gunna get her demoted back to basic," He mused.

Katya was surprised to find herself finally able to laugh at the situation.

"Ha, there's Blaze," Alexi said pointing to the screen as the recording panned to the pilot for a split second. "Damn, he looks even dumber on video. I can't wait to tell him," He joked.

"You see that boy out there today, Katya?" Saul asked ignoring Alexi's amusement.

Now that the date for the Agathon's download was set in stone Saul had been wondering how Blaze was responding to the news. With his father dead, and then Alexi's father gone soon after, Saul took his role as Blazer’s only remaining father figure seriously. Despite how goofy he found the kid to be he cared for him a great deal. Saul knew that Dr. Le Blanc had called and updated Blaze on the future of his birth parents but the woman wasn't one to worry about the emotional well being of others. She hardly even worried about Margot's. Saul had never been too concerned about emotional matters himself but ever since he'd taken responsibility for Katya things had changed a bit. He and Ellen felt responsible for all four of the kids and they loved each one of them.

"He was out there,” Katya answered her uncle. “I didn't see him on deck. We talked on the com for a while."

"And?"

"And…Dr. Le Blanc called him and told him the date. He seems fine," She shrugged, "I don't know, he's Blazer. He always seems fine. He said he's going to Beta's lab this week to figure some stuff out. What that means to him, I'm not sure."

"He'll be okay," Ellen said perching herself on a nearby ottoman, "He'll find the bright side to it like he always does, I'm sure," She added before taking a sip of her drink.

Alexi paused the video feed and moved to put his arm around his wife.

"Still it's going to be strange for him," The sergeant posed, "On top of everything else those bodies don’t look much older than he is. It's gunna be kind of creepy for him to have parents that appear to be close to his own age,” He said to the room.

"That's true but there isn't much we can do about that," Saul answered somewhat defensively.

"It's not your fault," Katya assured him, "We know we weren't your genius idea. I wonder if Le Blanc and the others ever even thought of that while they were mixing us up in their little test tubes," Katya mused getting a scowl out of her uncle.

"Kat, stop that," He complained.

Though all four of the kids often dealt with their creation and subsequent upbringing with humor, Saul didn't appreciate it. He didn't see anything funny about the process and even though he knew they were only trying to make light of the strange way they were each brought into the world he couldn't stomach it himself.

Katya rolled her eyes, not surprised by his usual offended reaction.

"Either way I'm sure he'll have a hell of a better experience than I have. At least I hope he does, or Margot's gunna run away before it’s her turn," She laughed.

"Yeah well, I guess we'll see how it works when they know right off the bat,” Alexi considered. “Now we know that when they find out later they disappear," He scoffed.

Saul almost jumped to reprimand Alexi for his obvious reference but he stopped himself. He couldn't help but understand where the boy was coming from. Saul was slightly disappointed at Bill's sudden distance. He wasn't sure what he was expecting. He just always imagined that Bill would be in a bigger hurry to speak to his own daughter once he knew who she was. When he'd finally called this morning Saul just assumed it would be to ask him to arrange some kind of meeting with Katya. When he'd requested help with planning an outing with Laura instead, Saul was surprised. When he'd mentioned to Bill that Katya would be in flight during their trip to the observation deck Bill had only answered by curtly, telling him Laura didn't know yet. Saul's response was simply that Katya did. The subject had been quickly dropped after that. Saul had to stop himself from taking offence on behalf of the girl he'd raised, especially after hearing everything she'd said the day before as she sobbed into his wife's arms. He hadn't let Katya know but later that day he'd confessed to Ellen that he'd heard the whole thing. Hearing her guilt-ridden anguish and seeing her rare tears had torn at his steely heart and jumped his paternal predilections into overdrive. Though Katya acted as if she was perfectly happy not to deal with Bill or Laura after the revelation, Saul knew her better. He knew part of her had to be hurt.

"All you kids can do is be there for Blaze the same way he's always been for you," Ellen stated as she crossed her legs.

"I'm so relieved I don't have to deal with this," Alexi mumbled.

"Don't you say that," Saul suddenly barked at the younger man, "You might think you got out of something, Sergeant, but you better hope it's of no consequence to anyone else."

Saul knew Alexi hadn't meant it that way. Perhaps they were all just a little on edge due to the circumstance. Things were really starting to happen and they might know soon whether or not all of their work had been done in vain due to the destruction of Baltar and Caprica.

"Sorry, Colonel, I was just saying," Alexi apologized earnestly.

Katya looked at Saul as if to ask what had really brought on the outburst, but he only shook his head at her.

"Yeah…I know Alexi," Saul half admitted

Though Ellen was just as worried about the missing bodies from Gamma sometimes when Saul spoke about them she would feel old pangs of jealousy surface. She knew it was stupid but she couldn't help reading into his words. Sometimes she wondered if he was disappointed about the loss of Caprica's body on a more direct level. Alexi wasn't the only one counting himself at least personally lucky for the misfortune.

"Dinner's ready, if you all are," Ellen finally said changing the subject.

As she stood up there was a knock at the hatch.

"Oh for frak sake. Who the hell is this?" She said huffing and making her way to the door.

"I wasn't expecting anyone," Saul called over his shoulder.

“It’s probably Blaze looking for a hot meal,” She mused with a sigh.

 

When Ellen opened the hatch she had to fight her desire to slam it shut again.

"Bill," She said forcing a smile, "Another surprise visit," She vaguely heckled uncaring of whether her grin looked authentic or not.

When Katya heard the man's name she grabbed on to Alexi's wrist and sank lower into the sofa. Alexi just watched the entrance with his mouth agape and Saul stood making his way closer to the door.

"Sorry, Ellen," Bill started, "I just can't seem to get used to using this thing," He said looking at the wrist that held his station cuff, "I keep forgetting that messaging first is sort of protocol here," He explained with an apologetic smile.

"Don't worry about that, Bill," Saul said appearing by Ellen's side. "C'mon in."

If Katya sank down on the sofa any further she was going to slip on to the cabin floor. Alexi hadn't even noticed her odd position beside him with his focus on the Tighs and their visitor.

"Is this a bad time?" Bill asked noticing Ellen's slight reluctance to let him inside.

"Well, we were just about to eat," She started.

"I apologize," Bill told the couple." I really should have called first."

"No, it's no problem, Bill," Saul interjected trying to overshadow Ellen's brass response.

Saul wasn't the only one whose parental instincts had been revved up to full force since Katya's response to the revelation. Ellen had been in 'mama bear' mode ever since.

"You hungry?" Saul asked his friend.

"Oh, fuck my life," Katya whispered from her strange position half way off of the sofa.

Her expletive finally got Alexi's attention.

"Chtó ti seichás délayesh'?" He asked in an only semi-hushed tone.

"Zatknis', Alexi," She harshly whispered urging him to quiet down.

"No, no thanks Saul, I ate before. Laura's resting back in the cabin," Bill explained trying to discreetly look past Saul and Ellen to the hushed voices on the sofa.

"Did you enjoy your trip to the gallery?" Ellen asked as she purposely stepped in his line of vision.

"Yeah, it was fine. I think it did us both some good. Thanks for your help with that," Bill said honestly.

"You wana sit down, Bill?" Saul offered ignoring the look Ellen shot him.

"No. That's alright. I actually came here hoping you could point me in the direction of Captain Isakoff...but maybe I should come back later," Bill said uneasily.

Saul was happy to hear Bill finally ask for Katya. He didn't think twice about looking right over at the sofa where he'd left her.

"She's actually right here," Saul announced looking toward the couch, confused that he only saw Alexi's head above the seat backs.

"Vstavaite," Alexi said under his breath and pulling at Katya to sit up in her seat.

Katya slowly scooted into an upright sitting position and chanced a look at her uncle only to find him staring daggers at her.

"I dropped something," She smirked, not trying very hard to convince him of her cover story.

She heard Ellen stifle a short giggle but didn't dare take her eyes off of Saul.

"Katya, Admiral Adama is here to see you," He told her trying to convey his seriousness in his tone of voice.

Katya and Alexi both rose to their feet.

"Sir," Alexi swiftly greeted him with a nod.

"Sergeant," Bill responded in kind.

When Bill looked at Katya she felt completely exposed. She had finally started to think that she wouldn't have to deal with him and now here he was. Her flesh and blood was finally there to acknowledge her and she still wasn't sure if she'd be happier if he would just turn around and leave. The internal mixture of panic, dread and an odd sense of relief was all coming together and making her sweat.

"Admiral," Katya nodded doing her best not to convey a hint of emotion.

Bill couldn't help staring at the girl. The image of her his mind had been recalling for the past few days hadn't done her justice. For a moment he couldn't find his breath to speak. He was looking at his child and he didn't even know what he intended to say to her. As the time ticked away he was getting no closer to telling Laura. He still didn't know if coming to Katya with Laura still in the dark was wrong or not. He just knew he had to see her and that he couldn't wait any longer to talk to his child.

Bill cleared his throat before he spoke.

"Captain, I was wondering if you would mind taking a walk with me?" He attempted.

He was afraid he sounded foolish but he hadn't rehearsed it beforehand. When Laura fell asleep he had made a kneejerk decision. He left a message with one of the guards in case she woke up and had the other marine escort him. He knew that he probably should have formed a better plan. "Or, maybe find someplace to talk," He suggested now slightly intimidated by the girl's unchanging stoney expression, "I promise I won't take up too much of your time," He finished.

Katya licked her lips before she spoke but her mouth was dry and it did her little good.

"I was just about to sit down to dinner with my family, Admiral," She responded flatly.

"Nonsense," Saul interrupted, the exchange gaining everyone's focus. "We'll save you a plate, Kat. Won’t we, Ellen?" He prompted his wife.

Saul knew he was going to catch hell from Ellen as soon as they were alone.

Alexi was already trying to plan an exit strategy so that he wouldn't be caught in the Tigh’s crossfire without Katya there to help deflect.

Ellen bit her lip and gave Saul a look that promised of things to come before she gave Katya her attention.

"Well, that's up to you, sweetheart," She told her.

"I can come back another time," Bill suggested, "Or maybe we could meet tomorrow?"

Katya sensed her uncle about to butt in yet again so she answered for herself before he could do it for her.

"No," She said abruptly. "No, I'll go. We can go now," She told Bill, looking into his eyes that so eerily matched her own.

Bill smiled, grateful that she had agreed but the young woman's face remained unreadable until she turned to her husband.

"Doh vstrey'cheh, Alexi" She told him as he leaned to kiss her.

"I'll see you back at the cabin," He assured her, "Udachi," He added.

"Thanks," She answered as she turned and walked toward Ellen. "Sorry, about dinner, Elle," She told her.

Katya hated to leave her aunt for Bill's attention, especially after their recent heartfelt divulgences. Still, she knew she had promised her uncle that she wouldn't hide from this and that she would do her best to show that they both had raised her well. She weighed her options and decided that she'd make dinner up to Ellen somehow. For now she had to face what was in front of her.

"It's okay, kitten," Ellen assured. She wasn't mad at Katya for agreeing to go. She just didn't want her to feel pressured into it by Saul and she was worried about just what Bill Adama was going to say to her. She wished she could go with her, "I'll send food home with Alexi. You better eat it. He'll tell me the truth if you don't," She added as Katya kissed her on the cheek and nodded with a smile.

"Why don't you two head down to the 10B office?" Saul suggested, "It's assigned to Luna Force. You have clearance, Katya," He told her.

"That waste of space?" She asked with a scowl.

"My thoughts exactly," Bill added with a small smirk.

It was the same sparse office space that Saul had taken him to after the dinner party.

"It's private and quiet," Saul defended with a shrug.

Katya nodded.

"See you later, Uncle Saul," She said raising an eyebrow at him. She was sure she would be hearing from him again before the night was over. "Admiral, please follow me."

Chapter 14: Chapter 14

Chapter Text

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

PATROL OFFICE: 10B; TEMP. ASSIGNMENT: FIGHTER SQUADRON 1; LUNA FORCE

YEAR: 2315

Almost immediately after they had returned from the observation deck Bill took Laura to bed. In the beginning he had questioned whether or not he should succumb to her sudden eager and vehement advances. He knew what a vulnerable state she was in but he couldn't deny the need for reconnection he knew they both deeply craved. They needed each other in every way possible. At first it had started off fluidic, rhythmic, and familiar but it quickly turned into a desperate frantic pursuit toward release. Not just a pursuit of physical release but a feverous quest to purge all the sorrow and pain they'd ever experienced together; a way to extinguish any aching anger or resentment that had been left unresolved. Bill knew it might not be the right way to go about it but they wouldn't deny each other a chance to give and receive what the other needed.

Spent from both the trials of the arduous day and their subsequent almost rabid union Laura was quick to drift off to sleep. Bill hoped that it was a sign of evolving contentment and not just total emotional exhaustion. There was still so much she didn't know. There was still so much he didn't know. As Laura slept he couldn't help but observe her unclad form on the rack. It felt perverse to be studying her dozing body for signs of something she herself had no knowledge of but his morbid curiosity was dominating. Bill found freckles in the same places he remembered them before and he was happy to find smooth inviting curves where he'd last seen only the gauntness of her illness. He found no scars, no obvious surgical marks or impressions. There was nothing to show that this body in its former unconscious state had been through what he'd been told. He must have run his eyes up and down the expanse of her flesh about twenty times as he sat there. The faded remnants of what Bill thought could have been some small stretch marks were the only hints that Laura had once carried his baby. When he couldn't justify studying her any longer he had covered her in two layers of blankets, as if the second layer somehow made up for his shameful voyeurism. It was then he decided to leave the cabin to find their child.

Now he sat facing that child; a grown woman of twenty-two who he was pretty sure was doing her best to stare him into the floor.

"I'm not very good at this I guess," Bill started.

They sat in the sterile office on opposite sides of the lucite desk. Bill noticed that instead of moving both seats together as Saul had done, Katya had sat at the desk's head, inviting him to take its receiving chair. It was her right. The office was assigned to her squadron and she was a captain aboard the station. He was just her guest in this space. He could tell that every move she'd made since they’d left the Tigh’s cabin had been calculated to guard herself. The large desk, though translucent, served as an obvious and intentional barrier between them. Unlike Saul, Katya had turned on the room’s recessed lighting leaving no shadows to hide in. The wall behind her had its screen capabilities activated and its glow backlit the young woman, tracing her silhouette in a muted radiance that gave her even more of an authoritative presence. Bill was impressed by the girl's foresight. Had he been a different man he might have even been intimidated by her instead of saddened by the circumstances that were fueling her measured defenses.

"That's alright, Sir. If you were practiced at confronting illegitimate children I'd be even more disturbed," She told him with a hint of a bemused smile as she folded her hands in front of herself on the desk.

Bill let out a short chuckle at her smug little quip. It was a trace of the smart-mouthed young soldier he'd been in the company of only days before. He could deal with that version of Katya much better than the cool detachedness of the woman who seemed to sit before him. He hoped it wasn't the last sign of it.

"Saul told me that you've known the whole time," He started.

"I've known my whole life," She corrected tersely.

Bill frowned as he heard the deliberate frost in her voice abruptly return. He inhaled deeply. If he could make it through the field of landmines that was Laura’s current state of mind then he could get through this too.

He nodded in concession.

"Right," He said with a squint, "Saul told me. We uh, ran in to a friend of yours."

"Margot," Katya said confidently. "Spitting image, isn't she?"

Bill nodded again, surprised by her sudden candor.

"I have to wonder how long this would have been kept from me had I not had that chance meeting," He posed.

"As long I could have helped it," Katya answered honestly.

Bill couldn't help but wince at her answer. Saul told him that as a child Katya had been more than eager to know them. It was obvious that was no longer the case.

"That wouldn't have been very long though,” She began to justify. “Please don't think that Uncle Saul would have continued to keep it from you. He would have had to tell you before the download on Beta Station because of Lt. Bishop. Blazer has no intention of hiding his identity from his birth parents.Uncle Saul would have told you whether I wanted him to or not. Besides, everyone else on station knows exactly who I am," She added with a smirk. "You would have found out somehow. It wasn't Uncle Saul's intention to lie to you. It never has been. He only withheld it this long for your own benefit…and maybe partially mine," She admitted. "Please don’t hold it against him,” She asked earnestly.

Bill glanced at his lap and then back before responding.

"You don't have to apologize on behalf of Saul Tigh, Captain. He and I have been through more than I can tell you. We answer to each other. To alleviate your own concerns though, I don't hold it against him," He answered. "It's not an easy thing to tell."

Bill's stomach rolled at the thought. How could he be upset at Saul for keeping the secret for a few days when he'd now done the same to Laura for almost as long?

"I don't mean to speak on behalf of his merit,” Katya clarified. “I understand you've been witness to it far longer than I have. I only intend to speak on the behalf of my family. Anything they've done has been with the intent to help," She explained.

Though Bill had witness the interactions of the Tigh's familial unit over the past few days it was only now as Katya spoke of the man who raised her that Bill started to see the depth of their connection. Saul hadn't just babysat his daughter in his absence. He’d become the father she didn't have.

"I see that, Captain," Bill tried to assure her. "You seem to care for Saul very much."

"Of course, I do," Katya said intently. She was annoyed at the mention of something she felt should be so obvious. "I love him. Ellen too. They're my parents. The only ones I've ever really known, that is. My father died when I was seven. I cared for him very much but it gets harder to remember him every day. I remember everything Saul and Ellen have ever done for me. Alexi and Blazer; they know what it's like to feel orphaned by the war but I never had to feel that because of the Tighs."

Bill let his breath out slowly. He was starting to think he had more to thank Saul and Ellen for than he understood.

"They are certainly very proud of you as well, Captain," Bill told her.

She nodded a small gesture of appreciation.

For a moment Bill wasn't sure where to take the conversation. He knew she wasn't going to offer to steer it for him. This meeting had been his request and she wasn't going to let him forget it. Every word, every move she made was a strategic effort in hiding her emotions. If he hadn't already known that she was Laura's at this point he would have started to wonder.

"You mentioned the Lieutenant; Blaze, right?" He asked not as much for confirmation as to keep her talking.

"Yes, Sir."

"I'll admit that when I found out who he was I felt almost foolish. Now I feel like I knew in some way the moment I met him. I just didn't know what I knew,” He tried to joke.

Katya gave half a smile.

"He reminds me so much of his…his father," Bill hesitated at first.

He wasn't sure what titles these people usually used but he decided that he was going to call the man what he was. Helo was the boy’s father.

Katya shrugged.

"I'm afraid I don't have any reference for that but I've heard Uncle Saul say the same," She confirmed in a somewhat lighter tone.

"Helo was one of the most well meaning and loyal men I ever knew," Bill recalled as he looked to the feed on the screen behind her. It was so bizarre to think that he would soon be meeting up with the man again, "Dedicated pilot too," He added.

"Well that's Blazer," Katya confirmed with a sense of pride.

"Helo just wasn't quite as…"

"Goofy?"

Bill gave half a chuckle in response.

"I'm sure the knowledge of their character helps but I'm surprised you didn't see it in Alexi first,” Katya posed. “I always saw such a strong resemblance to his mother, even more so when he was younger. It's hard to compare though, now that her body is gone," She said losing the lightness in her voice toward the end.

"It came to mind soon after I realized," Bill admitted. "I have to say besides his hair color I don't see much of his father in him. Certainly not his personality."

"Well I can tell you Alexi would be happy to hear you say that. We know the stories. We know how Baltar and Caprica Six helped in the destruction of your colonies. Uncle Saul has never really kept how he felt about the scientist to himself. He says he was a spineless liar and a traitor and Alexi has always been ashamed of it.”

"Things were more complicated than that," Bill considered, "But I won't deny Saul's evaluation of the man. From the short time I've spent with your husband it seems to me that he couldn't be more different than Gaius Baltar if he tried.”

After all of Saul’s negative stories Katya was glad to hear the Admiral’s evaluation of Alexi.

"He might be more like him than you think," She posed. "The man was supposed to be a genius. I know Alexi doesn't look like it with his muscles and guns and that brooding face but he's actually a brilliant mathematician. He could have made quite a career of it within the system but he didn't have the interest. He was driven to serve his people in a more hands on way," She explained.

"Then he's inherited one of his father's only valuable qualities," Bill acknowledged.

Katya nodded offering a whisper of a smile in return. The entire time she'd been sitting across from the man she'd been using all of her inner strength just to keep her collected appearance. The tedious smalltalk was starting to wear on her nerves. She wasn't sure how much longer she would be able to keep up her false composure.

"And then there's you," Bill surprised both himself and Katya with the sudden turn of conversation.

Katya stilled in her seat and steeled her jaw. She wouldn't respond to him just yet. She wanted to see how much he would offer up before she spoke in return. She narrowed her eyes and tilted her head waiting for him to go on.

Though Bill knew that Katya probably intended to irk him with her silence he was actually gaining some confidence as he watched the girl. He knew the look she was giving him. He knew it so well. If she was going to start using selections from Laura's greatest hits then this wasn't going to be as hard as he initially thought. He knew he had to fire something at her. Something that would rattle her walls. He met her cobalt to cobalt before he spoke, making sure he had her gaze captive to his own.

"You're my daughter," He said intently.

Behind her porcelain bluff Katya felt as if she was ready to shatter. What she had just heard had been long since lost to her childhood imagination. The man, the words; it all fit and yet there was no joy or relief gained. She still felt anger, she still felt sadness and now she felt as if she were on display.

"I'm a stranger," She said coolly as if to challenge him.

"I don't want you to be," He instantly returned. He wouldn't give her the time to deflect. "I hope you don't want to be either," He offered.

Katya was entirely frustrated with herself. Bill was saying all the right things. He wasn't even being pushy about it and yet it didn't feel the way she’d thought it would.

" Why? " She countered.

"Why, what?" He shot back giving her a bit of a scowl.

If she was giving it he decided she could take it.

"So what? You know I'm your daughter now, at least genetically and that's the only reason you want to get to know me?" She pressed.

"That's all the reason I need, Katya," He said putting his palms on the table and leaning in, "If you're saying you don't understand that then I can't explain it to you but I think you do understand. I think you understand it perfectly," He finished sharply before settling back in his seat.

Saul had told him that Katya grew up wanting nothing more than to know her birth parents. Even if it wasn't true now she'd known the feeling once. He was grateful to have that bit of valuable information as he countered her evasive argument.

Katya couldn't help it when her brow rose in surprise. Saul was right; Bill Adama was a force and she was starting to feel like just a talented amateur. It was starting to hurt to keep her face so stoic anyway. She took her eyes from his, briefly glancing down at her hands. He had her and she felt more impressed than defeated. She shrugged at him in concession.

"Fine, maybe I do," She granted.

"For your information, Katya, despite a bit of an attitude problem that I think you have, I happen to like you. I think you're a very bright young woman and you seem to be a model soldier. Besides that, I love Saul Tigh like a brother and when he introduced me to the girl he'd raised I wanted to know her right away. Even before I knew she was my own daughter. Is that enough reason for you, Captain?"

She considered his words for a moment.

"Yes, Sir," She nodded in response, "I suppose I wouldn't mind that," She told him after a beat, trying to make her tone sound as noncommittal as possible.

She was losing the battle to keep up her neutral front. She had to swallow hard to stave off the emotion that was rising in her throat. If she let it get to her eyes she'd be in trouble.

Bill let out a huff as he sat back in his seat.

"That's good," He said, but before he could reflect on his minor victory she threw something else at him.

"I just hope it doesn't cause you too much trouble," Katya coyly tested.

This man seemed to be willing to work with her but there was still a piece missing. She needed to know what Laura's reaction had been. She trusted it hadn't gone over well. The woman obviously wasn't beside him participating in his gesture which said enough. Even so, Katya wanted to know at least something about what happened when she found out.

"What do you mean?" Bill said as his brows came together.

Katya shrugged.

"Well, I mean your other half is missing," She smirked, "Ms. Roslin obviously doesn't share your feelings. You came to me alone. I mean, I'm not surprised by any means. It's just if she was at all against you coming then I'm not sure I feel comfortable with that. To be honest, I don't know if I want the burden of knowing I'd caused problems between you two. She and I may not get along but even I see that you're all she has here. I can't damage that for her."

Bill looked at his lap through the clear surface of the desk. Perhaps he should have started with this. Katya obviously thought that Laura was absent by choice. Even worse, now he had to admit his own omission. He looked back at the young woman and let out a sigh.

"I haven't told her yet," He admitted.

Katya felt her eyes double in size. The woman didn't know. She still had no idea.

"Excuse me, Sir?" She asked wondering if she'd misheard.

Bill felt the rock in his stomach harden.

"As I said before, it's not any easy thing to tell," He weakly defended.

Katya wasn't sure how to feel. She had been waiting to hear something entirely different but as far as Laura Roslin knew she was still just Saul and Ellen's spoiled brat.

"I understand,” Katya offered. “It's just...well, if you're planning on trying to keep it from her, as much as I'd like to say otherwise, I don't think it's going to work. Not unless you plan on keeping her locked up in your cabin and banning visitors and taking her network access away. I told you that it's common knowledge. She may find out from someone else instead," She cautioned.

Bill shook his head. The way Laura had been acting he probably could keep her secluded and clueless rather easily if he wanted to but he didn't.

"I'm not hiding it from her. I just haven't figured out how to tell her yet."

"I'm sorry. I don't have a suggestion for you, Admiral," She told him.

Katya could see he was truly troubled by what he was going to have to do. Sometimes Ellen called him the totem pole but he sure didn't look like that now. He looked worried and a little scared too.

"I'm sure it's made worse by the fact that it's me, Admiral. I know she can't stand me and to be honest I really don't like her," Katya paused, "But, I am sorry that I've caused her so much trouble. I promised my uncle that I'd keep my distance from her from now on. It was just...that day on Beta…" She stopped and started over, "I don't think she really understands all that…"

"Laura hasn't been herself," Bill curtly interrupted.

Katya didn't know what to say. Was he just making an excuse for her? She didn't know the woman but Laura Roslin sure as hell wasn't acting like the person she'd heard she would be. Maybe there was something more to what Saul had alluded to. She thought Bill might expand but there was no other explanation.

"I'm not keeping this from her because of the catty little feud you two have going on. That has nothing to do with it," Bill insisted. "That won't matter in the long run, Katya."

She wasn't buying that but she'd let it go for now. She was starting to truly feel sorry for the man in front of her and for the woman who was waiting for him at home.

Truthfully she had always felt that way, even before their personalities had been there to get in the way. Her people needed them and she wasn't sorry they were brought back but she knew the rest of what had been done to them wasn't right.

Bill’s gaze was on the image screen behind her.

"Admiral?"

When he finally gave her his eyes she looked away from his.

"You told me before not to apologize for my Uncle Saul because he's here to speak for himself…" She stopped to allow herself to will back the sudden threat of tears and she didn't start again until she was sure they wouldn't surge forward. "But my father is long gone. There's no one else to apologize for what was done to you or Ms. Roslin, and somebody needs to because it wasn't right. Believe me; I know every detail of how I got here and I know it should have never happened. I know you probably think I can't understand what it's like to learn that such a violation happened before you were even around to know it but I do. I've lived it every day of my life. Whatever was done to you both, well, I was the end result," She shrugged and smiled sadly, "I know all too well what it feels like to be part of this screwed up science project. I'm sorry that you have to put that burden on Laura now."

When she finished she finally looked up at him. She knew her cheeks were probably red from trying so hard to hold back the urge to break down. His face looked somewhat hardened and she worried he'd been offended by her attempt at relating their plights. She almost jumped when she heard him clear his throat.

"Katya, you don't get to apologize for a crime you were also the victim of. Do you understand that?" He asked. He could tell by the look on her face that she didn't. "If you don't understand that yet then I think you'd do yourself a service to try and figure it out," He told her.

Bill figured that would be a topic for another time. The girl obviously had so many issues wrapped up in her creation that she couldn't tell where the project ended and she began. It hurt him to see that.

"Then I'm not sure what else I can do to help you, Admiral," She told him.

He nodded.

"You did a lot by agreeing to talk with me," He offered.

Katya needed a break. She looked back at the screen behind her. Something about the way the light was reflecting in her peripheries caught her attention. As she watched she thought the traffic pattern in Orbit looked odd. She checked her station cuff to look at the time before glancing back to the wall’s screen for another look.

"Katya?" Bill called regaining her attentions.

"Yes, Sir?"

"Saul told me that you were very involved with the lab here on Alpha," He started.

"That's true. I grew up there going to work with my father. Even once he was dead Saul and Ellen took me all the time. When I was old enough I went on my own. It was kind of a home away from home, I guess you could say. I mean I was born there," She mused with a shrug.

Bill grimaced.

"Well that's kind of what I'm getting at. Part of the reason I'm having trouble telling Laura what was done to her is because I'm not even sure what to tell her," He started.

Katya raised an eyebrow as he spoke.

"What I mean to say is, you told me that you know every detail about how you got here. I know next to nothing. What am I supposed to tell Laura?"

Katya licked her lips and sighed. She quickly checked the screen behind her before starting to answer.

"Did you ask Saul about this?" She said turning back to face him.

Something about getting a question for an answer made Bill feel uneasy.

"Somewhat. He told me Ellen would have better answers," He admitted.

"That's true," Katya mused rolling her eyes.

Everyone was passing the buck on this one.

"I asked him if some sort of surrogate was used. He said that wasn't the case.”

Katya shook her head.

"If you're asking me if some other woman was involved then the answer is no," She told him glancing over her shoulder once more.

Bill wondered if he was just losing her interest or if there was something more pressing at hand.

"Is everything okay, Captain?" He asked.

"Sorry," She said turning back around in her seat. "Go on," She told him.

Bill furrowed his brow.

"So then Laura did give birth to you?"

"Yes...well…you know...her body did, at least," She clarified.

It suddenly felt so strange to associate their personalities with their once vacant forms. She had to remind herself that they weren't there back when everything was done to them.

Bill looked at Katya inquisitively hoping she would expand. He didn't understand how it was possible.

Katya couldn't help but smile at the bewildered look on Bill's face.

"I'm sorry to seem so vague and illusive with you, Admiral. It's just, well…" She paused to consider how to phrase her words. She didn't know this man well enough not to second guess how direct to be. "Look, I am by no means a prude. My father was a doctor. I grew up pretty comfortable with the human body. Everything was scientific with him; everything had a use and purpose. Then I moved in with the Tighs who I'm sure I don't have to tell you, were slightly unconventional parents. Ellen never taught me to be shy about talking about things of a sexual nature. She's been a wonderful mother but her idea of enforcing my curfew as a teenager was to wait up until I got home and then say 'Smile if you got some tonight' as soon as I walked in the hatch," Katya started to laugh as she watched Bill's reaction, "Anyway, Sir, my point is; I hope you don't take offense when I tell you that your part in my birth was quite minimal," As she saw him scowl she palmed her forehead. She immediately decided to re-phrase, "It was immensely important. I obviously wouldn't be here without you. It was just minimal in comparison. I've seen every recorded feed and read every log taken. Your bodies used to come out of stasis all the time for chamber maintenance and physical evaluations. You were even out last month for a pressure change issue. They’ve always had you back within the span of a day or so," She explained. "But when they took your bodies out in preparation for my…creation…let's call it...well, you were back in your chamber within a just few hours but Laura's body was out for months," Katya went on, "And believe me they didn't do anything nearly as fun to her body as they did to yours. I just feel like now that she's actually in it maybe she should know what happened to her body before any more people do," She proposed.

Bill supposed she had a point. Now that Laura occupied that body it was her business. Maybe she should be the one to tell him eventually.

Katya bit her lip as she watched Bill's face. There was the totem pole. She'd have to tell Ellen she finally saw it.

"Look, I don't expect her to want to talk to me, about anything, let alone this. Ellen can tell her whatever she wants to know. There are others in the lab familiar with the process as well. There's no one left from the time when it actually occurred but Dr. Sydra Kahdim, for instance, is well versed in your body's complete history. I’ve noticed that Ms. Roslin seems to have about the same amount of patience for Aunt Ellen as she has for me so if she doesn't want to talk to Ellen about it, Sydra is sweet and very intelligent. She would be able to help her learn anything she felt she wanted to know. Plus, when you two are ready you're going to have the same access to Alpha's lab files and recordings that I do. You could watch the whole damn thing on video if you wanted from conception to birth, not that I recommend it," She tried a joke but Bill looked more disturbed than before and he suddenly wasn't so chatty.

Maybe she had just given him too much information by not giving him any. Either way she needed to leave him with something more reassuring.

"Sir, I think it's important that you remember that you both essentially just got here. What I mean by that is, you weren't around to experience anything those bodies have been through within the few decades they've existed. You're only in them now because Ellen was able to put you there. If she hadn't been able to they would have just eventually been discarded. No one else would have been put in them to bear this burden. So maybe it's best not to think of anything in the past as having happened to you personally. Ellen says our bodies are just vessels; that without our consciousness in them they're nothing more than a conduit. She says it's the same no matter if you're cylon or colonial or earthling. She says even the centurions have a basic consciousness. She says even the bots might develop souls one day…if they haven't already but either way our exterior is just that; a shell. So if it helps with processing any of this maybe you should keep that in mind and make sure Ms. Roslin does as well. If you just help her to think of it that way then...nothing was done to you directly and then…then I don't belong to you. I belong to those lifeless bodies which essentially don't exist anymore," She posed sitting back in her seat.

Bill hadn't said anything in awhile. Katya was starting worry. Never mind that Saul was going to kill her if Bill Adama came out of this office half out of his mind, she wanted to get going. She didn't regret the conversation. She was actually starting to be rather glad that she'd agreed to come but for now she didn't have much else to say to the man. She needed time to process all of it.

She was eager to leave. She wanted to call down to Flight Control and find out what the hell was wrong with the traffic. It was bugging her.

"I watched you fly today," Bill finally said catching her off guard.

"Excuse me?"

"Today, I took Laura to the observation gallery on the civilian side of the station. Saul told me you'd be flying your patrol shift while I was there," He explained.

Katya nodded but she still had no idea where he was going with this.

"Obviously I couldn't tell which ship you were in...but I knew you were out there while I watched," He went on, "Laura didn't know but I did."

She wasn't sure what to say to that. She was glad Saul hadn't told her that Bill would be watching her. Though she had only been making routine ellipses all day it would have made her nervous knowing that Bill Adama was observing her fly.

"Katya…Saul and Ellen and the people here…they went through a lot of trouble to make sure they brought the right people back," He started slowly, "They recreated our bodies. They made sure they were identical and then they worked tirelessly to make sure our souls rejoined them. I'm not saying that what Ellen taught you about our bodies being vessels is wrong. I just know that she and Saul wouldn't have risked everything by boarding a super heated battlestar to make sure that they had the means to recreate them if she didn't believe the soul and the body were somehow intrinsically connected. Ellen knew she needed one to get the other. As sure as she knew that, I know that you're my daughter; soul, body, whatever. And... I know that you're the daughter of the woman I love. And I won't tell her otherwise just to soothe her because it isn't true," He told Katya as he followed with a hard swallow, "And even if you could convince me somehow that it was true, I know that you're the only child Saul Tigh has ever had and that he loves you very much. He's my brother. You're my family either way, Katya. So please don't try and convince me again that we don't belong to each other," He finished sternly.

Katya was stunned at his words. She could feel that she’d gone slack-jawed but she couldn't get herself to close her mouth. She didn't know how to answer him. He seemed so resolute that she couldn't argue and even so she didn't really want to. When she could finally move her mouth to speak she still wasn't sure what was going to come out of it. When she uttered the first surprise syllable it was drowned out by a harsh and near deafening buzz.

"Shit!" Katya shouted as she sprung out of her chair knocking it over.

The buzzing on the station com system repeated over and over and the station emergency lights pulsated red in time with them. She quickly turned to watch the screen behind her. She'd known that something had to be off, she just hadn't expected this. A look to the screen’s feed showed that the system was clear of most traffic but Katya thought she saw raiders starting to gather in formation. That was always their first sign of trouble. The guardians always knew it was coming before they did.

"Dammit!"

ACTION STATIONS ACTION STATIONS

ALPHA SET CONDITION ONE

FLIGHT SQUADRONS 1-3 REPORT

Bill was already out of his seat when she turned around to face him.

"Admiral, I have to go and you need to get back to Laura now," She told him shouting over the constant alarm.

The hatch opened and Bill's marine guard stepped in.

"Captain," The guard called.

"Corporal, call for a second escort to join you enroot and escort Admiral Adama directly back to his cabin. And send a message to Sergeant Petrov; I want extra marine security in front of their hatch. When you get him there don't let him or Ms. Roslin leave until you hear otherwise understood?"

"Yes, ma'am."

Katya nodded curtly and turned to Bill.

"I'm sorry, Admiral. I have to leave you now. Please stay with the corporal until you're securely in your cabin. Colonel Tigh is going to have to report but wait for Ellen's call," She explained as she made her way to the hatch.

REPETE

ACTION STATIONS ACTION STATIONS

ALPHA SET CONDITION ONE

FLIGHT SQUADRONS 1-3 REPORT

REPETE

LUNA FORCE, ANGEL FORCE AND HOT WING SQUADRONS REPORT TO FLIGHT DECK

The familiar buzzing sound was bringing back an eerie sense of recall to Bill. He felt the urge to spring into action but there was nothing for him to do. As he watched the captain recede toward the door he realized she was most probably about to report for combat. He'd watched his children do it before. He'd done it himself. It wasn't as if the feeling was unknown to him but he had just met this girl and he knew, as he always had when he sent his children out to battle, that she might not return. He felt a pull to stop her before she left, to send her off with something profound, to embrace her just once but he couldn't. He tried to think of what he would have said to Lee or Kara or to any of the other young souls he'd commanded as he sent them into enemy fire.

"Captain," He called before she cleared the hatch.

'Yes, Sir," She answered quickly turning to face him.

"Good hunting."

Katya nodded before turning to exit and leaving Bill alone with only the buzzing alarm and the marine in the room.

What would he tell Laura if she didn't come back?

"Sir, we should go," The corporal told him.

Bill nodded and left for his cabin guided  by his escort.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

YEAR: 2315

When Saul enlisted years ago under Commander Kaplan's authority the position he'd taken on station was largely administrative. Though he kept his rank from the Colonial Fleet due to his knowledge and experience, his days of the high pressures of being an Executive Officer were long behind him. He was glad to serve aboard Alpha Station as their Aviation Resource Superintendent. He was able to perform many of the duties that he had as XO but in a more specialized capacity and without all the damn stress. He oversaw the aviation training program. He kept tabs on its standardization, flight requirements and he updated and monitored compliance of Orbit Patrol policy. Generally speaking he kept tabs on all aeronautical procedures and yelled at a bunch of kids all day long. It kept him content. Had he not acquired the position Saul wasn't sure what he would have done with himself. Ellen was technically the resurrection project’s leader. Though she gave much of the responsibility to Michelle Le Blan in order allow the Earth Orbit Committee a sense of control Ellen was still at the top of the chain. She was the one who constantly station hopped between all of the station labs and traveled to the basestar and back working feverously to complete their goals. Saul wasn't of much help to her and though he loved spending time with Katya the permanent title of ‘stay at home dad’ had never sat well with him. Thanks to Cmdr. Kaplan he had found a solution. Saul’s service made him feel needed. It allowed him to contribute and it kept his mind sharp.

Saul reported to duty when he heard the emergency com system sound. The alarm had almost been welcome. He and Ellen had been in the middle of a heated argument. They’re shouting had scared Alexi away soon after Katya left with Bill. He’d excused himself and left them to their bickering. Though Saul and Ellen both dreaded what the alarm meant it had given them an excuse to shelve their argument. It had offered Saul an immediate out.

The Colonel’s reprieve hadn't lasted long. When he reported to his jurisdiction his subordinate Chief Enlisted Manager had relieved him on a direct order from the Commander.

Kaplan's instructions were for Saul to leave his duties in the capable hands of his CEM and take charge of ensuring the safety of Bill Adama and Laura Roslin. Even though Saul had messaged Alexi and ordered him to do the same he didn't have to be told twice. Before leaving his cabin he'd told Ellen that he would be calling for the marine guards to find Bill and Laura and ordering them to bring them to her.

When the station was set to a high alert a centurion was always stationed in front of the Tigh's hatch. Centurions were a constant presence aboard each station; mostly posted near the flight pods and other entry points. They served as extra guardianship to the people on the stations the same as the Raiders did in and around Orbit. The stipulation that one be allowed to stand guard at the hatch of the Tigh’s home during high alert times was just one of the conditions agreed to when Saul and Ellen moved aboard. They found out quickly that having command of a basestar, their own platoon of highly developed robots and a fleet of unmanned fighter crafts got them pretty much anything they requested. Saul almost called for a centurion to join Laura's marine escorts as they brought her to Ellen but he thought better of it. He didn't know if Bill was with her. He'd gone off with Katya and as far Saul he knew Bill and Laura were on two different sides of the corridor. He wasn't sure how Laura would react to a centurion, especially without Bill there so he left it up to Alexi's platoon.

When Ellen messaged Saul that Laura arrived safely but indeed without Bill, Saul headed toward the Luna Force office where he knew Katya had probably taken him. There was no way that she was still with him. Her squadron had been called and she undoubtedly had reported right away. Saul just hoped that she'd stayed around long enough to give their marine guard proper instructions.

As the colonel rushed through the halls getting side swiped by officers running in every direction he hoped Ellen would come up with a decent excuse as to where Bill was. Now that Laura had arrived she'd seen he that wasn't at their cabin.

Despite Saul’s many attempts at messaging Bill on his cuff he’d gotten no reply. The same went for the marine he’d left with. Something had to be wrong with their wireless system. The marine should have gotten right back to him. Just when he decided to double back to check an alternate route Bill and his escort appeared at the apex of the hall.

"Bill!" Saul called from a just a few yards away.

" Saul, tell me you know Laura's safe ," He shouted back.

When the two met Saul turned on his heels to walk with them.

"She's safe. She's with Ellen. Pick up the pace boys!" The colonel shouted to the two marines.

" Saul what the hell is going on !?" Bill shouted over the alarm that still buzzed in their ears. "We haven't been boarded have we?"

" No, no ! We haven't had that happen in years. If we had the com would have reported it. Still, just in case that does happens I want you and Laura where I can see you," Saul told him. "It's probably just an atmosphere breach but I haven't heard any reports yet. Cuffs are acting up. Transmissions are spotty. I can’t get a damn message through and I’m having troubling receiving data. When we get back to the cabin I'll pull up the feed and get us a sit-rep," He assured. "Katya tell you to head to my cabin?" Saul asked as they hurried along.

"No. The corporal and I were headed to mine. She wanted me to get to Laura. She told me to get to her and then wait for your instruction."

Saul nodded. That wasn't the plan they'd settled on for such an occurrence but Saul knew that Katya probably did the right thing. Bill wouldn't have headed anywhere except in Laura's direction.

"Look, Bill, I know we won't be able to talk about it when we get to my quarters since Laura's already there, so did you and Katya get to talking at all?" He asked doing his best to speak through the constant ambient interference.

"Yeah, Saul we did,” Bill answered through harsh breaths as they took up a near jogging pace. “It wasn't easy. That kid knows how to be a real pain in the ass.”

"Don't I know it," Saul musekd back between buzzes.

"She came around a bit though."

"Good to hear."

"She thinks the world of you and Ellen," Bill told him.

"I know that too," Saul said proudly.

"I'm grateful she's had you," Bill added. Saul only nodded as they turned down another hallway. "I was glad to talk to her. It felt…right. And now this," Bill said shaking his head.

"Can't think about it Bill. You know that as well as I do. Besides, she'll be okay. Koshka hardly ever even takes a hit in combat. You should see her dart and dodge in that bird. They don't call her ‘the cat’ for nothing."

As they came up to the hatch Bill stopped dead in his tracks. Flanked by Sergeant Petrov and another marine guard was a cylon centurion scanning him with his red flitting eye.

"It's alright Bill," Saul assured him. "Ellen and I always have one on guard during high alert. C'mon," He said taking the lead.

Saul saluted the other guards.

"Sit-rep, Sergeant," Saul barked at Alexi.

"Both Mrs. Tigh and Ms. Roslin are safely inside, Sir," Alexi told him with his signature halting tone.

"Cut the crap, Alexi.,” Saul said dismissing the boy’s formality. “What the frak did Ellen tell Laura when she got here?"

Alexi's face went unchanged as he looked over to Bill. The man looked worried. He couldn't wait for Katya to tell him what had happened between them. He just hoped she would return in one piece to do so.

"Ms. Roslin was visibly upset upon our arrival, Sir,” Alexi answered. “She wasn't too comfortable with Vladi here," He added, motioning toward the centurion with a bob of his head.

Bill scowled. Were they really naming those things now? He wondered how the frak they could even tell them apart.

“What line did Ellen feed her?” Saul asked.

"All I know is that Ellen told Ms. Roslin that Admiral Adama was with you, Colonel. I took my post out here once she was settled. Good luck, Sir," He ended flatly.

Saul grimaced at the boy’s distinctly dull diction.

"For crying out loud," He grumbled as he scanned his cuff at the hatch panel. "Alexi, you let us know if you hear from Katya first. C'mon Bill," Saul prompted, motioning for him to pass the centurion.

"As you were, Corporal,” Saul said nodding to the second marine guard. “You too, Vladi,” He acknowledged centurion as he went to open the hatch.

"You're frakking naming those things now? " Bill groused under his breath.

"Just that one,” Saul told him matter-of-factly. “That’s Vladi. Katya named him.”

As soon as they entered the cabin Laura jumped up from the sofa and found her way into Bill's arms.

Ellen kept her seat. She leaned her elbows into her lap and hung her heavy head down to rest in her palms.

The sound of the alarm was softer in the cabin. Ellen had been able to lower the volume of the cabin com system before they anyone arrived but it still rang faintly. They could all feel the ominous vibration it created aboard the station as it reverberated through its walls.

"Bill, where the hell have you been?" Laura asked as she held on to him, "I woke up and you weren't there," She said into his neck.

When the alarm had startled her from a deep sleep she'd been terrified. Bill was gone and there was obviously something very wrong. There was a loud banging at the hatch and she could hear the marine guards bellowing for her to please open up. When she got out of the rack her inner thighs were sore and stiff. She felt a telltale ache deep inside that immediately reminded her of what happened between her and Bill when they'd first returned home. She could barely walk at first and she wondered just how rough she and Bill and really been with each other. It was then that she’d finally realized that the body she was in had never been used quite that way before.

Laura hardly had time to throw clothes on before an over-anxious Alexi decided to let himself in to retrieve her. He’d given her a curt apology before ushering her out of the cabin. When she'd made it to the Tigh's Bill was nowhere to be found and Ellen was a mess. Her answer as to where Bill and Saul were had been vague but then again everything Laura was asking Ellen was getting a vague answer, not to mention slurred. She eventually gave up speaking to the intoxicated woman all together. They sat and waited in silence listening to the dulled sound of the menacing alarm.

"I'm sorry,” Bill offered with a squeeze to her tense shoulders. “I left a message with the guard. I didn't think this would happen. I shouldn't have left you like that.”

Saul sat beside his wife and spoke in a low tone.

"What the frak did you wind up telling her? The man's flying blind," He whispered rubbing his upper lip to muffle the sound of his voice.

Ellen leaned up with a huff and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"I said he was with you and that you both just stepped out. Is that alright with you, Saul?" She snarked, leaning limply onto the arm of the sofa.

Saul ignored her irritation and quickly got up to make his way to Bill and Laura.

"Sorry, Laura, that was partially my fault," Saul swiftly told her. "I asked Bill to come over and we just stepped out for a sec. I thought I'd show him the control room but then the station com went off and we never made it there," He lied.

Bill felt a wave of heat rush to his face. Now he was actually lying to her and getting other people to help. He couldn't do this for much longer.

"Are we in danger?" Laura asked Saul as she hung on to Bill's arm.

"We're always in danger, Laura," Ellen called from the couch reaching for her drink on the end table. She took a big swig before she continued. "It's just like it was before. We live in fear," She added with definite inebriation in her speech.

She got up and left for the head, not bothering to excuse herself.

Saul ignored her performance hoping the others would as well.

"We haven't had an atmosphere breach in months," He answered once Ellen cleared the room. He wouldn't apologize for her. If she wanted to act that way it was fine with him. He had more important things to think about. "Things have been quiet. That was why we went ahead with your download. There's been a lull in combat activity and it seemed like a good time. Who knows what sparked this. It could be a coincidence. It's doubtful that they found out about your resurrection," Saul explained.

"Yeah right," Bill scoffed. "So much for your so called secure system," He said waving his station cuff around for effect.

"Look, we don't know that.” Saul defended. “Until I hear officially that something like that's happened I'm not going to assume. You two are here with us as a precaution. If the bots were anywhere near the station we'd already know about it," He told them. "Now sit down and try to relax. I'm gunna dial direct into the feed and try to get a sit-rep," He said as he made his way to a small desk in the corner to retrieve his tablet.

Bill guided Laura to the sofa with a reassuring hand at the small of her back.

"Bill, I don't like this," She whispered, "There's a frakking toaster outside the door," She told him with wide eyes.

"Yeah I know and apparently he has a name," He added.

Laura just squinted in confusion in she sat.

 

She couldn't get her heart to stop pounding. It had been that way since she'd abruptly woken. She had a brief recall of being in Galactica's CIC. She thought of Saul and Bill watching for enemy contacts on DRADIS, barking orders and making decisions meant to serve and protect the fate of the civilian fleet, all while a similar alarm sounded. Things were so different now. Their old enemies were now seen as some sort of guardian race and she and Bill were the ones being protected. Bill stayed standing, obviously too anxious to sit with her. He was so used to being productive during times like this. She could see that he felt so out of his element.

Ellen was silent as she returned to the room but once she made her way to the kitchenette she started to make some noise.

"Can I fix anyone a drink?" She offered without sounding much like she actually cared to do so.

As began to make a fresh one of her own she banged her glass down hard against the counter. She dropped in ice cubes with unnecessary effort making sure each one clanked sharply against glass. After returning the ice tray she slammed the cooler door as a finale.

"Are you alright, Ellen?" Bill asked more as an accusation than as a gesture of concern.

She let out a bitter laugh then turned to face him while taking a sip of her drink.

As he saw the look on her face Bill decided that he might need a drink after all. He started to make his way toward the kitchen to fix his own. He didn't need shards of glass added to his.

"No, Bill I'm not," Ellen finally answered with a caustic smile. "I'm not usually alright when I know that my child is most likely in the midst of enemy fire," She informed him, her words laced with contempt. "You'll excuse me if I'm not exactly pleasant as I wait to find out if she's coming back." She paused and cocked her head to the side as she looked at him, "I know you understand exactly how it feels," She added, slyly testing his boundaries.

She was still angry at him for taking Katya away from their family dinner. It had been enough to set her jealousy ablaze. Now that she was aware that Bill knew and Laura didn't she'd be damned if she wasn't going to have some fun with it.

" Ellen, " Saul warned from the desk.

His face was immersed in the projection over his tablet and he had one earpiece in, obviously listening to some kind of patrol transmit. He was too involved with it to stop his wife from making an ass out of herself. She'd been drinking even before the family meal they were supposed to have, though at first it had just been to relax. Once Katya left with Bill ashe had been in no mood to eat. Their dinner still sat unmoved on the warmers. She’d only dished out a few portions and sent them home with a hungry Alexi who was eager to get away from the tension in the air. She was irritated by Bill's visit and she couldn't help but be resentful that it had ruined a pleasant night with her family. She had been looking forward to it, especially after the recent emotional tidal wave she and Katya had been through together only days before. The girl was finally in a better mood and Ellen was so happy to hear it in her voice. It felt good knowing that they would all be together for a night, just the four of them. They hadn't done it since before Bill and Laura resurrected.

Once Alexi was gone she was alone with Saul. She picked a fight with him in her displaced disappointment. She'd admonished him for pushing Katya into going with Bill. She tried to hide her jealousy under the guise of looking out for the girl’s best interests. She accused Saul of not allowing Katya make her own choices. She told him that he was pressuring her and that she had probably just gone with Bill to comply with his wishes. It was when she accused him of caring more about Bill's feelings than Katya's that Saul started to fume in return. He knew exactly where all of Ellen’s anger was coming from and he didn't hesitate to call her on it. He told her that she was letting her envy and her insecurities take over. It only made her shout louder at him in stubborn denial and pour herself a stiffer drink.

Ellen had momentarily sobered when the alarm went off and Saul left but once Laura was delivered to the cabin she settled back into her resentful intoxication. She hadn't said much to Laura while they were alone. She just apathetically answered her questions as they sat there. She made no attempt to hide her mood. She didn't care. Her family was supposed to be eating dinner together and now Katya was flying directly into mortal danger. She hadn't even hugged her goodbye when she left. Ellen had never gotten used to the girl's career. Sometimes she even blamed Saul for her choosing it, for telling her all his stories about vipers and raptors and Starbuck and Apollo. She blamed him for encouraging the girl’s obsession with flight.

Most days Ellen could handle it even if there was known combat in Orbit but right now her nerves were shot. She was drunk, miserable, tired and scared. Most of all she missed her baby.

"Yes, Ellen, "Bill said knowing she was doing her best to goad him, "I do know how that feels… exactly ," He added knowing it would step on her toes.

She gave him a caustic chuckle and walked back to sit on the sofa and sip at her drink. She inwardly smiled when she saw the utterly confused look on Laura's face at Bill's response.

As Ellen sat and watched Laura the alcohol in her body just served to surge the irrational resentment toward her. She hated the woman for a dozen insane reasons. She resented her for getting to carry a baby that Ellen considered to be her own, even though she had no memory of it. She hated that Laura would never appreciate what a sweet child Katya had been, even though it wasn't her fault for missing it. And now she hated that Laura got to sit there oblivious while she had to bear the anguish of being a mother to a soldier, even though she could easily share the burden with her. Ellen knew it was crazy and she knew it would fade as the booze wore off but right now she couldn't help it.

LOCATION: INNER ORBIT; approximately 80 miles above the surface of planet Earth

TERRESTRIAL ATMOSPHERE BORDER

SQUADRON: LUNA FORCE

RED ALERT; ACTIVE COMBAT

YEAR: 2315

They were coming up to atmosphere line before they knew it. The first squad of cylon Raiders was already in active combat with a fleet of Airbots and the second was hanging back waiting, serving as a buffer until they were joined by Orbit Patrol. Suddenly Katya was regretting her earlier wish for a more exciting day at work.

“Koshka, Slip-Shot, Mac Man, Blazer follow me.

We're gunna form a stinger behind the nearest Raider in range.

Blazer take the tail. Follow the Guardians, people.”

The Patrol CAG's voice seemed to echo even the small confines of Blazer's cockpit.

"10-4, Major. Koshka, Mac Man, Slip-Shot, let’s hold hands,” Blazer told his team over the com. “Falling back. File in when ready.”

"Got it Blazer. Leading them in now," Katya answered.

"10-4 Captain, I'm your wingman. Slip-Shot take Mac Man," Blaze directed the pilots in his formation.

"You always take the cat, Blazer," Slip-Shot complained over the com.

"Yeah, and I usually wind up with claw marks," Blaze returned.

A mock hiss came through the com from Mac Man's line.

"To be fair, Blazer,” Katya piped in, “you’re usually asking for it.”

"That's a 10-4, Cap," He replied before the CAG's voice came in again.

“Coming up on a Guardian now. Only break formation when once the Raider fires. Don't Strip. Repeat; Do not strip. If something get's past you let the next squad get it. Stay within the fence and stay in range. Don't let em' chase you off.”

"Got it, Major," Katya answered for the flight team.

"Why can't these things come bother us during the day?" Slip-Shot casually observed through his line. "I was about to get some rack time. Took a shower and everything."

"You take showers, Slip?" Blazer chaffed. "Could'a fooled me."

"Man, I hope she does claw your face off," The pilot responded in jest.

"Just give me a reason," Katya threw in.

"Call it a personal favor, Koshka?" Slip-Shot proposed.

Once behind the cylon raider the team followed in formation. Now they just had to hope that the first squadron of raider's hadn't let much get passed them.

"Hey is our lead Guardian a cousin of yours, Blazer?" Mac Man ribbed.

"Ha. Funny; cylon jokes. I get it," Blaze dead panned.

"Forget it, Slip,” Katya bit. “I found my new scratching post. Shut the fuck up, Mac Man," She warned.

"Meow, Captain," He answered. “Testy today.”

“Keep your eyes open,” The CAG reminded. “Stay back at least three paces from the guardian. Once it shoots fire at will. Remember weapons tight till' you see that Raider fire.” His voiced paused for a moment leaving dead air to fill their cockpits. “Shit, Koshka, you see what I see?” His voice returned in alarm.

"Oh, tally that, Major," She confirmed. “Looks like we got three Airbots coming in a tight V. Get ready.”

Only fifteen seconds later, the lead raider was firing.

“WEAPONS FREE! THEY'RE SPLITTING! GO AHEAD AND BREAK! BREAK! BREAK!” The Major shouted as he followed the raider in pursuit of the center Airbot.

Each team split off following the two airbots that braced the cylon.

"You got me Blaze?" Katya called.

"You know it," He assured.

"Flank me, I'm going for it."

"Let's do this."

They were in active pursuit for eighteen minutes before the raider shot down their first Airbot. Soon after, Mac-Man took out a second.

"I can't get this flinty son of a titanium bitch," Katya called over the com, still unable to knock out her intended target.

"Tell me about it," Blazer confirmed.

The third and last Airbot was proving to be surprisingly shifty.

"I'm coming in,” Slip-Shot replied, turning around and heading toward the pair. “Let's see if I can help you two out."

"Motherfucker!" Katya swore, "Blazer, Blazer, no joy, no joy! I lost contact!"

"Koshka break left! Break left, now, now!" Blaze roared over the com but it was too late.

Katya felt the rumble at her tail right before she started to spin.

"I'm hit! I'm hit!" She shouted as her mayday alarm blared in her ears.

"Slip-Shot, break left! Break left!" Blazer shouted so hard he felt himself go hoarse but the incoming pilot had no time. Blaze watched Katya's Falcon side spiral right into Slip-Shot's cockpit shield. "Mayday, Mayday! Two birds down! Koshka! Koshka, come in! Dammit!"

Chapter 15: Chapter 15

Chapter Text

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 119B: ASSIGNMENT; TIGH

YEAR: 2315

They had been waiting there for over two hours in an uncomfortable semi-silence. Bill hardly sat down. Instead he paced around the room asking Saul for updates now and then. Saul sat with an ear piece in the entire time. Ellen wouldn't let him bring the transmit up on their audio system. She didn't want to hear the details of what was going on out there. She sat quietly weeping and nursing her drink until she finally abandoned it to an end table and drifted into an uneasy sleep.

Laura had passed out soon after on the other end of the sofa. She'd been suspicious over Bill's strange disappearance ever since she'd gotten to the Tigh's. After her time with Bill in the observation gallery and the intense cathartic nature of their lovemaking she'd fallen to sleep with something she thought was lost to her; a glimmer of hope. Bill had given that to her. Then she'd woken up terrified and alone. Now, in the company of the only people she truly knew in the world, she felt the distinct sense that something was being kept from her. She felt it not just from Saul and Ellen but from Bill too and the glimmer she'd gone to sleep with was dimming, fading, sinking into the same dark absolution Bill had managed to help her pull it from. If they thought they were being sly about their deception they were all delusional. She'd been in the company of politicians enough to be keenly aware of when she was being lied to or given half truths. Laura wasn't sure if she truly cared to know their secret. She couldn't fathom anything this life could offer that would even remotely interest her, let alone be cause for such duplicity. She only wanted to know why Bill would have any hand in deceiving her. He'd just begged her not to shut him out, begged her not to hide her feelings from him, and yet now she was almost positive that he was concealing much more than that from her. Later, she decided, she would ask him why he'd treated her like this when she needed his support so fiercely. Was she that fragile? Did she honestly seem so unstable? Had her state of mind become so capricious that he couldn't trust her not to come to pieces? She feared that perhaps that was the case; that it was all Bill saw when he looked at her now. Maybe he was right to feel that way.

She would confront him, if only as a last ditch effort to save her rapidly dulling little glimmer of hope, pitiful as it was. But she wouldn't ask him now. Not in Saul and Ellen's company. She would wait until they were alone. It was getting later and later into the night and Laura had no way of knowing how long she and Bill would be forced to stay there. When she allowed herself to slip into a light sleep it was just to escape the precarious air in the room. Sleep was becoming little more than a form of escape for Laura as they days went by. She was disappointed by her untrustworthy state of mind. She felt awkward and uncomfortable in her new body. When she slept she could turn both her mind and body off without breaking her promise to Bill.

Bill watched Saul intently. The man was white as a sheet and had been for a good hour as he listened to the feed in his ear and checked spotty messages on his cuff until they’d suddenly stopped. The station alarm had ceased which was a good sign but there had been no announcement of a condition change just yet. Bill was positive that had Saul heard something on the transmit at one point that he was too afraid to share. He tried to enquire once. Saul had looked over at Ellen who was nodding off, her face wet with tears and half empty drink in hand. As he watched his wife he muttered quietly, almost as if he was speaking to himself.

"Nothing we can do now. Just gotta wait it out."

In truth Saul had heard about Katya's hit and subsequent collision minutes after it happened. It took all his resolve not show his horror. Once he heard that the deck sent out a bus to taxi the two birds in there had been no other updates. When Saul had met Bill in the hallway he told His friend not to think about the fact that Katya might not come back but he wasn't listening to his own advice. He never did. Every time Katya went out during active combat Saul felt the torment of a father's worry. He kept it inside. He played the part of the dutiful soldier, went about his business and waited. Internally though, he tortured himself with thoughts of the raven haired little girl who used to run around their cabin making rocket noises, of the elegant ballerina who mesmerized him with her delicate and nimble grace, and of the woman he was so proud she'd grown up to be. Saul was sure that they would be getting a call from Med Ward any moment. He just hoped it would be from Katya herself saying that she was fine. A few times Saul almost got out of his seat to find Alexi outside the hatch, but he stopped himself. There was no use in upsetting anyone else quite yet.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR C

MED WARD

YEAR: 2315

Katya's head was killing her. Besides the stinging gash by her temple her entire skull had been throbbing. She was grateful that it had dulled from a blinding pain to just a splitting headache.

Katya was out of triage and cleared of any internal bleeding or spinal damage. She now sat on a ward bed awaiting a cranial scan and a wound seal. Dr. Xao, Tawny and their staff had their hands full. The attack was by no means a bloodbath, but enough pilots had been injured to turn Med Ward into a circus. Katya had been handed a sterile cloth and told to keep pressure on her own wound. Blazer had come and gone already. He'd made sure that she and Slip-Shot were alright and let them know that the air was clear before he headed back to the deck for his debriefing. She'd asked him to message Alexi for her on his way.

Katya’s station cuff was shattered on impact. She looked at the pearly blue device around her wrist, now splintered as if a web covered its entire surface. It was nowhere near capable of even being turned on. She would have to get it removed and replaced before she was discharged from the ward. Getting Network Control to send one over was going to take forever. Katya was starting to get frustrated and impatient. Was every medic really so busy? Too busy to run a closure gun over a little one inch gash? As Katya watched Tawny work on Slip-Shot across the room it made her temple throb even harder. He didn't look so good. Katya knew logically it wasn't her fault but she still felt awful nonetheless. She could hear her fellow pilot moaning in pain all the way across the clinic and it made her stomach turn. She was sweating even though they'd stripped her of her flight suit in triage. The skin tight spandex she wore under the suit during flight didn't breathe well and she could feel that her patrol tank was dampened all the way through. Someone had slipped her service band back over her bicep during triage.  The ragged thing was soaked in sweat and splattered with blood that she hoped was only hers. How long was she going to have to sit there like this? She had no way of knowing if Alexi had gotten Blazer's message and everyone she tried to stop in the Ward was too busy to send another for her. She knew that Ellen must be worried sick and she wanted to make sure that Bill had gotten back to his cabin safely. As Katya slipped off of the bed she held the damp cloth of her compress tightly against the side of her head. Every time she moved it seemed to start bleeding again. She gingerly made her way closer to the open curtain where Tawny was working on Slip-Shot’s injuries.

“You’re gunna be okay, Slip” Katya called over to him. “You’re lookin’ good. Not bad at all!”

She hoped that she was only half lying. She could hear him struggling to reply but for some reason Tawny had bound his jaw shut. She immediately felt even worse for making him attempt to speak.

"Katya, go sit down," Tawny groused as she leaned in to give the pilot a shot with her injection pistol. It made the man groan through his clenched teeth. " Now . I mean it," She told her.

"It's a little cut, Tawny. Worry about him , not me."

"Dammit, Katya! You could have a concussion. Sit the fuck down and keep the pressure on that cut," The doctor ordered again. "You were unconscious less than an hour ago!"

"I blacked out for like a second," Katya corrected. "It's hot in here, Tawn. I can't stop sweating. I'm gunna step out for a minute."

"It's not hot in here, Kat . That's probably all the adrenaline you're feeling. At least I hope it is. Whatever it is, it's another reason why you're not going anywhere so leave me alone and go sit down," Tawny ordered as she worked.

"I'll be right back," Katya told her as she held the compress to her temple and slowly backed away from the curtain.

"No! No Katya! You are not leaving! Sit !" Tawny shouted still busily milling around the man's bed.

"Five minutes. I have to pee," She lied. “I’m gunna use the head.”

Tawny huffed in frustration.

She had patience for Katya and she had since they were kids but when it came to her job she didn't like being tested.

Katya being five years younger used to follow Tawny around Alpha Station just trying to keep up with whatever she was doing next. They were usually happy to have each other, both being only children, but Katya was always testing Tawny's limits. Though they were both grown now their dynamic hadn't changed much.

"Would you do this if my dad was telling you to stay?" The young doctor challenged.

"No. But I don't see him right now so I'm gunna leave before he comes back," Katya admitted and walked away.

"Ya know, Kat, when you do this it really pisses me off!" Tawny called after her.

The captain’s reputation for ditching out of the ward was starting to wear on her friend's nerves.

"I know. I'm sorry," Katya nonchalantly shouted back before making her way through the hatch.

She would only be gone a short while. Tawny would get over it. She would just be sitting there waiting around anyway if she stayed. Besides, at least Ellen would give her a damn aspirin.

When she finally arrived at the Tigh's hatch her head was pounding twice as hard but seeing Alexi's face made her entirely forget about it for a moment.

"Myshka," He said embracing her and picking her up off the floor.

"Zvezda moya," She greeted him with a happy hum.

She wrapped her arms around him tightly and kissed his lips completely forgetting about the bloody rag in her hand and how sweaty her clothes were. She felt her wound pulse and she covered it as soon as he placed her back down. If she went inside with blood gushing down her face Ellen was going to have a heart attack.

"Sorry, baby. I'm kinda, sweaty…and bloody," She shrugged.

"Katya, what happened?" He asked worriedly looking at the side of her head.

"Blaze didn't message you?"

"He may have. Someone passed by a while ago and said cuffs were acting up. They're doing a security check on the system just in case," He told her.

"Well mine sure is good for nothing."

She lifted up her wrist showing him the shattered remnants of her cuff. There was a purple bruise forming around it from whatever it had slammed against. She was sure that it would hurt later but at least she knew that nothing was broken.

"Shit, Katya! What happened?"

"My bird was hit. I lost all control and spiraled right into Slip-Shot. He's really banged up," She told him with a guilty sigh.

"Katya, what about you? You're bleeding . What the hell are you doing out of the ward?"

"It's nuts in there right now. I'm fine. I'll go back in a sec. I'd just be sitting there waiting," She said hurriedly, "Do you know if Bill Adama got back to his cabin?"

"They're both inside," Alexi gestured. "As long as you're here you better tell Ellen you're okay, but then I'm taking you back. Understand ? We should be cleared soon, they don't need me here anymore."

"Fine," She dismissively agreed before turning her attentions to the centurion beside her husband.

"Vladi, is that you?" She said with a coy smile.

The centurion swiped his eye back and forth in response.

"I'm very happy to see you too," She told the machine as she placed her free hand on the plate of its chest.

When Katya had first come to live with the Tighs the station was in an almost constant state of high alert. The recent Alpha lab massacre and attempt to destroy the Roslin and Adama bodies had everyone on edge. Katya had been witness to it all and at seven years old anxiety and stress had become normal for her. Saul and Ellen had a standing order for a centurion to be stationed outside of their new cabin at all times. It had taken Katya a while to get used to the new machines. Ellen and Saul did their best to try and teach her the difference between the centurions and the bots, but when she saw the metallic humanoids she would usually wind up in hysterics. The attack and her father's murder were still fresh in her young and frightened mind.

Things changed weeks later when one day Ellen was carrying a sleepy Katya home on her hip. As she made her way to the hatch she expected the girl to start whimpering or at least to bury her face in her neck as she so often did when they passed the cylon guards, but on this day the girl remained silent. As Ellen struggled to hold her up with one arm and swipe her cuff on the hatch panel with the other she noticed Katya was reaching over her shoulder for something. She turned slightly to find Katya holding on to the long extended finger of their centurion guard. The machine seemed to be offering it to the little girl as a greeting. Ellen didn't know whether she should be more shocked at Katya's behavior or that of the centurion. They made their way inside and Ellen mostly forgot about it, just happy the kid wasn't throwing a fit. It was days later when Saul mentioned witnessing a similar exchange that Ellen became suspicious. Even though Katya was still timid and afraid of the rest of the cylon guards there seemed to be one in particular that she didn't mind, one she would sometimes even interact with. Saul and Ellen's own visual scans confirmed that it was always the same one. One day after such an interaction Ellen decided to ask Katya about it.

 

"Honey, why aren't you afraid of that centurion?" She asked the girl.

"Because, that's Vladi. He's nice," Katya simply told her.

" He ? He has a name, sweetie?"

"I gave him one."

 

They might have expected it out of the other three children, but certainly not Katya. It would be awhile before Ellen figured out how Katya was able to do something that she simply should not have been able to as a pure Colonial-human.

Despite their confusion Saul and Ellen made sure that particular machine stayed aboard Alpha and they called on it for guard duty often until Katya got over her fear of the others. Even after that the two seemed to recognize each other whenever they crossed paths. Over the years Katya and Vladi had developed a strangely sweet connection.

"Let's go , Katya," Alexi called as he opened the hatch.

"See you later, Vladi," She said with a smile as she followed her husband inside.

As soon as the hatch opened Saul was out of his seat. He was shocked when he saw Katya walk passed Alexi as he held the door for her.

"Hi," She casually greeted her uncle.

She was surprised when he grabbed her and hugged her tightly to his chest.

"Guess you heard," She mumbled in his ear.

"Yeah, I did," He whispered.

The sound of the hatch closing woke Ellen and Laura.

Ellen stood up to see Saul with his arm around Katya's shoulders.

"Look whose home," He happily told his wife.

Ellen slapped her palm over her mouth to stifle a sob and rushed over to where the two were standing.

Laura got up and joined Bill's side where he was observing close by.

"Hey Auntie," Katya greeted but Ellen could only wrap her arms around the girl and let out her tears. "Ellen? Aunt Ellen, what's wrong? I'm fine, " She told her, surprised at the woman's overreaction.

Katya didn't know what to do. Ellen hadn't acted like this since her first year out of basic. As the woman clung on to her she could smell the booze intermingling with her familiar perfume; a combination she'd gotten used to over the years. That at least partly explained her dramatic welcoming.  

"Aunt Ellen, it's okay. Please don't cry," She told her. But Ellen wouldn't let go. All she could do was hug her back.

Katya looked to her uncle for assistance but instead of attempting to calm his wife he came over and put his arms around the both of them.

"It's alright, Ellen. She's here. She's right here," He told her as he kissed them each on the top of their heads.

As Bill watched the three of them he couldn't help but get a little choked up. He was so glad that Katya was safe. He was sure something awful happened the way Saul looked half the night. Watching Saul and Ellen's open display of love and relief made him wish he could do the same. When watching the three of them he couldn't help but wonder what it would have been like if he and Laura had gotten to the raise the girl together. It wasn't as if he begrudged the small family unit. On the contrary he was very grateful his daughter had parents who obviously deeply loved her in his absence. But there was something about the sight that made him slightly envious. Not of the turmoil they had suffered all night but of the bond behind it. Bill glanced over at Laura to find her staring at him and not the reunion before them. She seemed to be watching him curiously as if searching for something in his face.

Maybe he was being paranoid but there was something about the look she was giving him that made him feel like she was somehow suspicious. He made his way closer to her, took her hand and looked directly into her eyes before leaning in to kiss her cheek. Though she didn't know it they had something to be so grateful for tonight.

"Are you alright?" She asked him softly.

"I'm better now," He admitted looking over at Katya.

Laura didn't know why but but she felt her stomach drop.

Ellen finally released Katya from the tight embrace she’d had her in but when she backed up to take a look at her she found another source of hysterics.

"Good gods, baby. What happened?" Ellen asked running her thumb under the place where Katya still held the bloodied compress.

"Nothing, it's a cut. I just need to get it closed up," She told her.

Ellen pulled the reddened rag away from her head to take a look at what she was referring to as nothing.

"Katya, why the hell are you not in Med Ward?!" She asked as she looked at the gash in her hair line. "Alexi, get a clean towel from the head. This isn't doing a damn thing," Ellen said taking the drenched cloth away from her and handing it off to the sergeant.

Alexi quickly left to discard it and find another.

When Katya saw that the once white compress was completely saturated red with blood she felt her stomach tremble a bit.

"That's making it look worse than it is," Katya defended. "The ward is nuts. I would have been sitting there forever before someone was able to get to me. I'm just taking a break. There are other people way worse off," She explained. "I already got out of triage. No internal damage, no spinal issues. I'm good."

Alexi rushed in with a replacement compress.  

"What about a cranial scan?" Ellen asked taking the clean damp cloth from Alexi and placing it on Katya's temple.

"They didn't get to that yet," She admitted.

"And you're up and walking?" Saul barked.

"Katya, your brain could be bleeding internally," Ellen warned.

"It's not, though. It's bleeding externally ," She tried to joke but no one laughed. "Tough crowd…May I have an aspirin?" She asked.

" No !” Ellen answered emphatically “ No way . It will thin your blood and that thing will never clot. You wait and take what they give you in the ward."

"We're going back there now," Alexi intervened. "She just came by to let you know that she's okay. Her cuff broke on impact and no one else could message us with the system on the fritz." He explained. "It's going through some security checks."

"Impact?" Bill asked.

Was that what Saul had been keeping from them?

"Glad to see you got back okay, Admiral," Katya smiled and waved in his direction.

It earned him yet another confused look from Laura.

Bill nodded and smiled back at the girl, ignoring Laura's perturbed glance.

"We're just glad to have you back," Bill told her. He had to say something if he couldn't walk over and hug her like he wanted to. "What happened, Captain, if you don't mind me asking?"

"My bird took a hit. Sent me into a side spiral and I lost control. I collided right into the cockpit of another falcon. It was Slip-Shot, Uncle Saul. He looks pretty rough," She said as an aside, "The other pilot's in a hell of lot worse shape than I am. I guess I was lucky though. If I had spun in the other direction I would have went right into the gravity of the atmosphere and post-holed down to the surface; Bye, bye Koshka…But I ididn't," She added trying to lighten it at the tail end when she saw that Ellen was already springing new tears.

Saul felt his heart in his throat. Even if Katya had managed to eject and parachute down to the surface he knew that she'd have been gone. Not only was there no guarantee that she wouldn't land in the middle of an ocean, they just didn't send recons for single pilots anymore. It was too dangerous. It wasn't worth the soldiers they'd sacrifice in the process. They'd been so close to losing her this time but he knew he couldn't go on treating it that way. He knew that for her sake he had to tell her that it was all in the call of duty. He would but not now. Not yet. Right now he'd let Ellen feel the relief of their little girl’s homecoming and he'd let himself feel it too. Saul noticed the look on Bill's face. He could see the man was holding back and he felt sorry for him. Though it wasn't the conventional protocol of an officer toward his subordinate it had felt damn good to hug his kid when she walked in the door. He wished Bill could do the same.

"Well, thank the Gods you're alright," Laura offered simply.

She had to say something. She was standing there in a fog and she felt like her silence was becoming obvious.

Katya was a little surprised to hear Laura's words. The last time they'd spoken to each other it was an exchange of insults. She had promised to behave herself in front of the woman as long as she was being civil in return and she supposed that her recognition of her well being was about as civil as it got. It was even weirder to be in her presence now that everyone in the room knew something that she didn't. Katya almost pitied her in a way. She nodded at Laura in thanks and felt her stomach flip flop again. She wondered if the uneasy feeling she seemed to get every time the woman spoke would ever cease.

"Baby, your hair is getting into that cut. Let me fix it before you go," Ellen told her.

"That shouldn't have happened inside your helmet, Katya,” Saul added. “You better get it refitted.”

"Yeah, I'll get right on that," She said rolling her eyes as she leaned her head back far enough for Ellen to reach and fix her hair.

She'd tied it back before she put her helmet on but through combat and her collision it had become loose. Stray hairs were coming out and sticking to the blood around the wound. She took the compress off as Ellen gathered her thick hair, gently pulling any strands matted by the blood away from the cut and tying the elastic to keep it secure. Katya was thankful but leaning back in the awkward position was starting to make her feel lightheaded. It wasn't helping her stomach either and she was still so damned hot and sweaty. Maybe Laura hadn't been the cause of her queasiness.

"Ellen stop ," She told her rather suddenly.

"I'm almost done, kitten, hold on."

" No, Ellen stop . I think I'm gunna be sick," She warned as she took off in the direction of the kitchen, uncaring that her hair was still gripped in Ellen's fists.

"Oh frak, Katya are you serious?" Ellen called after her.

Alexi darted after his wife. He stood behind her with one hand on her back and the other keeping the compress on her temple as she mostly dry heaved into the sink. She had nothing in her stomach to throw up since she'd missed dinner. All she managed to bring up as she gagged was a bit of stomach acid that burned at her throat on the way uo.!

" Dammit, Katya, you must have a concussion, " Ellen shouted.

"No I don't," She slurred into the sink.

When she turned around she stumbled forward as if she were drunker than her Ellen. Alexi had to catch her from falling forward on her face.

"That's it! Pick her up Alexi," Saul growled, "Get her back to the ward."

The marine gathered her in his arms like she was a ragdoll.

"Da'vai, Koshka," He said softly as he brought her out of the kitchen. "You don't listen, Yekaterina."

Her head felt like a balloon as it bobbed with his stride. She felt so dizzy all of a sudden.

Ellen took the compress that was clutched in Alexi's fist.

"I'm going with you," She announced.

"Go on ahead," Saul told them. "Bill, Laura, looks like we're about to be cleared," He said taking a look at his tablet. "I'll take you back to your quarters with the corporal outside but I want you to consider letting us put a centurion guard outside your hatch. Just for a while."

" Absolutely not ," Laura answered sharply.

She just didn't like the idea. Even if they were the good guys now she had lived through two wars fought against them. Having one skulking right outside her door as she slept was something straight out of her childhood nightmares.

"Laura they're perfectly civil," Saul defended, "There's no danger in it. There will still be marines out there as well," He explained.

"Is that really necessary, Saul?" Bill asked.

"It's precautionary, Bill. I just don't want to take any chances." He answered.

Though their voices were fading in and out Katya heard what they were talking about.

"They can take Vladi," She proposed in a somewhat airy voice as she struggled to keep her heavy eyes open.

" What ?" Laura scowled.

"The one outside," Bill motioned toward the hatch and shook his head.

"He's nice," Katya mumbled, her voice getting softer.

" He ?" Laura said stepping closer to the girl.

"Yeah, Laura,” Saul started, “Vladi and Katya are kinda…friendly," He explained with some unease before clearing his throat.

"How's that even possible?" Bill challenged with a furrow of his brow.

Saul ignored him. He could tell him how but now wasn't the time.

"Just think of him as our…loyal watch dog," Saul shrugged.

"A dog ?" Laura asked folding her arms over her chest

Katya's eyes fluttered open to somehow meet with Laura's.

"I used to be scared too but he's nice," She told her again, her voice sounding even fainter than before, "I promise."

Laura tilted her head to the side as she looked back at her. They better get that kid to the infirmary fast, she thought. She was starting to jabber nonsense. Laura couldn't help but feel sorry for the young woman hurt in the line of duty. During her time as president she had been to enough services for lost soldiers and she was glad that wouldn't be the case this time. She still thought Katya was a spoiled brat. She obviously didn't listen to a word anyone told her unless it was a direct order and she could be incredibly rude. She was also absurdly stubborn to the point of making herself sick but now she just looked so pale and fragile as she hung limply in the large man's arms. Without her usual over-defensiveness and bad attitude she looked younger and kind of innocent. Laura suddenly felt an almost physical swell of concern. The feeling caught her off guard but she was somehow driven to comfort or succor her in some small way.

"If you say so, Captain," Laura said stepping closer and offering the girl a small but genuine smile. "Why am I not surprised you have a pet that shoots bullets?" She teased the injured pilot actually getting a weak smile out of her.

"That was good," Katya said letting her grin grow and her eyes close.

"You liked that one?" Laura smirked down at her.

"Mmhmm, it was solid. You're quick. Mmmaybe that's where I get it from," Katya said drifting off.

Bill and Saul's eyes snapped to each other like lightening. They were both stiff where they stood.

"What did you say, Captain?" Laura asked her with a squint.

Ellen panicked.

"Laura, leave her alone! She's frakking half unconscious!" She abruptly shouted, "C'mon Alexi we're going. Hurry up," She told him.

Laura looked at Ellen like she was deranged.

Having heard what his wife just said Alexi hustled toward the door on Ellen's orders. He tried not to look at anyone as he left. All he could think about was how mad Katya was going to be at herself when she woke up. He hoped what she said had just sounded like a string of nonsense from an obviously concussed mind, but he wasn't sticking around to see if it was interpreted that way. He cleared the hatch quickly.

"Meet us there if you want, Saul," Ellen called harshly over her shoulder as she left.

She didn't bother to say goodbye to Laura or Bill.

"Well, let's get going," Saul pressed, attempting to leave the comment hanging in the air, "I'll introduce you to your new dog."

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR C

MED WARD

YEAR: 2315

Ellen sat by Katya's bedside in the ward as she slept. She had a grade three concussion and she'd be staying overnight at the very least but she would be fine. Once she was settled and her cut had been cleaned and closed Ellen sent Alexi home. She knew he had an early shift and she was more than willing to stay. Actually she was anxious for him to leave so that she could just sit alone with Katya. As she sat rhythmically stroking the girl's hair she tried to imagine their surroundings as anything but what they were.

Ellen didn’t project much anymore. The last time that she had regularly employed the ability she and Saul were living on the basestar. Though they were boxed during the majority of their life on the ship there were still decades at a time that they spent conscious and living aboard the vessel. Had they not projected a somewhat more stimulating environment for themselves they would have gone crazy. Together they were able to see the space as a home they made for each other. It helped the endless years pass even once they had made contact with the people in Earth Orbit. It was only when they adopted Katya and moved aboard Alpha Station that Ellen stopped using the ability as much. She knew Saul had stopped all together. She had little need for it once Katya had come into their lives. Though the circumstances weren't ideal, they had a new little home with their new little girl. Surprisingly Ellen found she didn't really want to be anywhere else. Katya had become their child and Alpha was their home. Ellen was happy. It was only on the rare occasion when she was especially upset or in distress that she would actually project as a means to cope.

Within the first year that the Tighs had Katya her connection to Vladi was just the first in a line of clues that alerted them to the fact that there was something unusual about the girl. During that time in Orbit attacks were frequent. There was an ever present threat in the system and it made it difficult for Katya to recover from what she'd witnessed in the lab. During one particular high alert Ellen held the little girl in her arms on the sofa trying to soothe her as the station alarm blared. Saul had left for the lab to ensure Bill and Laura's bodies were sufficiently protected in case of another breach. It was the middle of the night and Ellen was exhausted, worried and still trying to get used to caring for a seven year old. In an attempt to calm herself down she gave in and projected a warm sandy beach at sunset. She allowed herself to relax into the scene as she held on to Katya’s frightened little body. Ellen’s trick worked to settle her own nerves but eventually the girl stopped fussing as well and then calmly  sat up in her lap.

 

 

"Is that the ocean?" She asked.

Ellen was floored. When she didn't answer right away Katya put her head back down and rested.

"Sweetie, you can see that?" Ellen whispered in awe.

Katya just sleepily nodded against her chest. Ellen was in shock. She didn't know if she had heard her right or if perhaps it was just some strange coincidence from the girl’s own imagination.

"Katya, honey? Tell me…what color is the blanket?"Ellen tentatively tested not explaining herself any further.

She was referring to the beach blanket that they were sitting on in her projection.

"Red," Katya had answered with a yawn as if it were nothing out of the ordinary.

 

 

 

 

After that experience Ellen immersed herself in the lab records of all four children. She wanted to know everything about their conceptions, births and their lives before she and Saul found out about their existence. It was then she learned about all the tests and studies that had been performed on them. She and Saul were appalled at how their so called adoptive parents seemed to have used them as glorified lab rats. With Petrov, Bishop and Le Blanc still caring for the three other children, Ellen and Saul knew something had to be done. They alerted Dr. Xao who had been purposely kept in the dark about the tests and the three of them personally made sure an end was put to any further experimentation on the children. Though nothing the scientists had done could be called outright abusive by law there was just something that wasn't right about it. They had created the children as a desperate and misguided shortcut and when they didn't fulfill the need they hoped they would they found another use for them. Perhaps they loved them as they claimed but that love was wrapped up in the value they saw in them.

The Thighs knew that Katya loved and missed her father so they never spoke badly of Dr. Isakoff in front of her, but internally they resented the hell out of him. Saul and Ellen had Katya examined from head to toe twice over after learning of everything that had been done to her before she was in their care. Xao confirmed that she was perfectly healthy except for her awful appetite which now had an explanation to go with it. Still, they couldn't figure out why she could possibly be exhibiting the ability to see their projections or scan centurions. There was nothing done to the girl on record that could explain it. It was driving Ellen crazy. She was even considering taking her aboard the basestar to run an analysis there. Though Saul was curious as well he eventually started to give up. He told Ellen that they should just consider the possibility that she was a special little girl and forget it. He knew one day Bill Adama would be back and he didn't want to have to tell the man that his kid had been exhibiting any kind of cylon traits. He told Ellen not to encourage the girl’s habits and to just leave it be, but in the end he was the one who figured it out.

Saul took Katya to the lab one afternoon between shifts. Since he and Ellen had come into her life the girl's curiosity in her birth parents had only grown. He didn't mind a bit and he was happy to bring her to visit their bodies now and then. Katya now had access to answers that her father could never give her and she was eating Saul's stories up like audible candy. During one particular visit  Saul was telling her about Kobol and how Lee and Kara had joined Laura to find the Temple of Athena.

 

 

"So, mommy went down to a beautiful but dangerous planet called Kobol. It was very scary and she was very very sick, but she went anyway 'cause she was very brave," He told her tapering his story so it was fit for seven year old ears.

"She was sick?" Katya had asked with a pout.

"Yes, she was; very sick. But soon after she got back to the fleet she got better," He told her simply, and that was when it came to him.

 

 

Ellen felt a little silly for not thinking of it before but it truly had never crossed her mind. The blood sample that she and Saul provided the Orbit scientist to clone Laura Roslin had been dated after her recovery, after Gaius Baltar cured her cancer with the cylon hybrid blood transfusion. Her cloned body had been made with DNA from blood that contained cylon attributes, and now, so did Katya. It all suddenly made so much sense. Ellen wondered if some of Laura's own hallucinations and dreams toward the end of her life hadn't actually been involuntary projections. It was possible that the capabilities had been dormant in her and only activated during the cloning process. It was also possible Laura herself had no cylon capabilities but that something had been triggered at conception or somewhere during fetal development to naturally activate her baby's unique DNA. Ellen didn't know for sure but what she did know was that Katya had simply inherited her cylon talents from her mother.

Saul and Ellen hid the girl's abilities from the project scientists until she was older. Though the testing had supposedly stopped they didn't want to fear for her well being anymore than they already had to. They knew from the lab records that the other three children with known cylon lineage had been used to produce a projection simulation software for a device manufactured in Orbit. The software and the device that it ran on helped stimulate the projection capabilities of the humans in Earth Orbit who all had cylon ancestry but no longer the brain function to activate the long lost attributes. The device reminded Saul of a cheap version of the old holobands the Colonies had before the First Cylon War. Whatever they were, Saul and Ellen were sure they weren't worth whatever had been done to Margot, Alexi and Blaze to make them and they wouldn't put Katya at risk of being involved in any future improvements or software updates.

Though they kept her abilities a secret and though Saul still didn't want to encourage the behavior, Ellen thought it was wrong to keep Katya from at least exploring her natural abilities a little. They agreed to let her communicate with Vladi. There seemed to be little harm in it as long as it didn't get around much. It was interesting for them to observe a centurion who seemed capable of basic emotion. Though the ones on the basestar had evolved over the years they never revealed any such characteristics. They supposed Vladi's time on Alpha among so many humans had helped him to incorporate the beginnings of compassion into his software. He was a true evolutionary link and Katya had discovered him.

Saul wanted no part in it but Ellen sometimes projected for Katya during more trying times, letting the girl experience things she hadn't ever seen growing up in Orbit. She showed her forests and jungles and rivers; things she'd only seen in pictures on the network. When Katya started getting more serious about her ballet Ellen showed her a magnificent old concert hall that she had once been to on Virgon. Soon Katya was able to project it on her own when she danced in the small studio on the civilian side of the station where she trained or in the station auditorium where she sometimes performed. Ellen made her promise not to tell her Uncle Saul and to only use it when she danced. During recitals and performances that she and Saul attended with pride Ellen would share Katya's projection of the old Virgon concert hall. It was special knowing that for just an hour or so only the two of them could see the world that way. It was something that they shared in the deepest parts of their mind. And now and then when Katya was very sick or very scared Ellen would take her back to the special beach projection that had started it all.

As far as Ellen knew Katya never did it anymore. She knew the abilities had started to make her feel strange as she got older. Even Margot claimed to have shelved the cylon habit in favor of a more ordinary existence. Ellen still treasured the times when she and Katya shared the little secret. Now watching her in a ward bed after being nearly shot out of the sky, Ellen wished she really could change their surroundings. She wished she could make the rest of the world disappear. She wished she could make Bill and Laura disappear.

Ellen's head felt heavy. The booze was wearing off, she had been crying half the night and she couldn't stop thinking about what Katya had said to Laura. No matter how much she knew Katya loved her she was starting to realize that she just didn't want to have to share her. Throughout the girl's childhood Ellen never thought she would react quite like this. She encouraged Katya’s interest and excitement in Bill and Laura almost as much as Saul had. She'd worked so hard to bring them there. She couldn't help but be enthusiastic for their return as well but now it was too real. When Laura tried to lighten the girl's spirits earlier Ellen saw the connection the two were capable of and her jealousy had gone through the roof. She'd always wanted to do what was best for Katya but right now her envy was getting the best of her, just like Saul had said. She just couldn't lose Katya; not to a bullet, not to a collision and definitely not to Laura Roslin. It would be like losing Daniel all over again. Hundreds of thousands of years later she could still recall that pain and she wouldn't go through it again.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 126B: ASSIGNMENT; ROSLIN/ADAMA

YEAR: 2315

The walk back to Bill and Laura's cabin was strange. Saul talked the whole way in a nervous attempt to somehow overshadow what had transpired right before they left. He grumbled on about security and procedure and anything relevant that came to mind. Bill was obviously preoccupied but he indulged Saul as they walked, responding to what he was saying now and then. Laura kept a few feet away from them walking with her arms crossed. At first Saul thought she looked a little dazed but at one point he saw Bill trying to sidle beside her and she sped up purposely distancing herself. The corporal and the centurion trudged behind them. Saul wasn't sure what Bill was going to face once he left them for the night. After the initial shock of Katya's little slip up he’d started to think it was going to blow over. He figured it would be easily explained away with Katya's head injury. It helped that she had been babbling on about Vladi, which Saul knew made her seem crazy anyway. He thought they were in the clear but Laura's posture and silence as they walked told him something was off. He figured Ellen's nasty last words could have done it. Even if it had nothing to do with what Katya said, he knew Bill wouldn't be having any fun tonight.

When they arrived at the hatch there were already two new marines stationed there. They informed the Colonel that Alexi had sent them. With a look to his cuff Saul saw that the system was indeed back in working order. There was message from the sergeant telling him that Katya was alright and requesting that he dismiss the corporal who'd come over with them. He did so and with the two new guards in place and Vladi settled into his new position Saul decided to take his leave.

"You're in good hands now, I assure you," He promised, "I'm off to Med Ward but you two get some sleep," He said with a nod.

Laura quickly turned from him and ran her cuff over the panel.

"Goodnight, Colonel," She said dismissively as the marine opened the hatch and she made her way in.

Bill motioned for the guard to shut it behind her. He wanted to talk to Saul alone before he followed.

"What do ya think?" Saul asked as the hatch shut.

Bill crossed his arms and shook his head.

"I really don't know," He shrugged.

"She's probably just pissed off cause of Ellen. You think she heard Katya? Even if she did, I think it's easy enough to explain away," Saul posed putting his hands in his pockets.

"I know, I know but to be honest that might not even be it. She's just sort of been acting like this recently so I'm really not sure," Bill admitted, "But either way…I think it's time," He said looking at the floor. “Things like this. They’ll only keep coming up.”

Saul sighed.

"That's your call, Bill. I wish you the best. I just…I want to warn you about Ellen. You've already seen it for yourself tonight. This is all bringing up a lot of her insecurities. Katya's been her world for so long and she's scared of what this might mean. That's not your concern though. You leave her to me and I'll do my best. I just wanted to explain tonight and caution you about what might come up," Saul winced at his own words.

"I think I can understand that,” Bill nodded. “I don't want her making things harder than they already are but I see how much Ellen loves Katya...and how much you love them both."

Saul cleared his throat of emotion.

"Anyway, station cuffs are working again, so if you need anything just send a message. You think you got it figured out now?" Saul ribbed motioning to Bill's wrist.

Bill gave a tired chuckle.

"Yeah, I hope so," He answered. "You'll let me know how the Captain's doing, won't you?"

"She'll be fine but yes, Sir. I'll be sure and do that."

"Thanks, Saul, for everything."

"Alright then, Husker," Saul nodded.

As he turned to go Bill had a thought.

"Saul?" Bill called out to stop him. "As long as these things are working again…" He considered as he looked at his own cuff, "…is there any way for you to send me that picture? You remember the one you showed me a while ago? Little Katya in the ballet slippers?" Bill asked hesitantly.

Saul smirked and gave a knowing glance. He swiped at his wrist a few times until it projected over the screen.

"That the one?" He asked holding it out.

"Yeah, that'll do,” Bill affirmed with a sad smile.

"Always been my favorite," Saul said grinning down at the old photo. He swiped a few more times at his cuff. "All yours," He said looking up at his friend, "You know how to pull it up?"

"Yeah, I got it."

"Well then…Good Hunting," Saul told Bill with a hand to his shoulder before turning and heading down the hall.

Bill braced himself and made his way into the cabin.

When he found Laura she was sitting on the end of their rack. He was immediately reminded of their decalescent afternoon. The sheets and blankets were still tousled about and their clothes from before were still scattered around the bedroom floor. She didn't look up as he walked in and he wasn't sure if she was unaware or just ignoring him. As he watched her he wondered if she could possibly know already. He doubted it. She looked so tired. It had been such a long day, such a long night. He almost considered letting her rest and leaving it until morning. Then he realized that was what he'd said to himself every night since Saul told him. This had to be over so it could finally start. He slowly made his way toward the bed and sat beside her letting out a long and weary breath. She still hadn't turned to face him so he ran his knuckles gently down her spine to ask for her attention. She didn't give it to him at first. He could see that her fists were gripping the end of the mattress.

"Laura," He started softly, "This is exactly what I said I didn't want us to do, so we're not going to do it," He said placing his hand on her knee.

She nodded but she still wouldn't look at him.

"Then I think you're the one who needs to start talking," She said trying to speak as evenly as possible.

She wasn't sure what was suddenly consuming her with such anxiety. Something about how the night had ended at the Tigh’s left her with a feeling she couldn't begin to explain. She'd felt uncomfortable there all night. It wasn't just the threat of the enemy or Ellen's drunken display. She was in a room full of people who all seemed to know something she didn't. She might not be herself at the moment but she wasn't stupid. Being treated as if she were had worn at her patience and her will during the hours she spent there. She had such a strange feeling about what was being kept from her. She wasn't sure she really wanted to know the truth.

Bill nodded.

"You're right about that," He confessed. "I just need to know what's on your mind first."

" Why ?" She said finally whipping her neck in his direction. "If you have something to tell me shouldn't you just know what it is? Why the frak test me first?" She snapped.

Bill swallowed hard. She was right but he needed her help on this.

"Because, Laura, I don't know where to start," He said honestly.

Laura was suddenly terrified and she didn't know why. She felt her hands and knees starting to shake and she was starting to get chills down her back. She didn't have an answer for him. She was confused. Her mind seemed to hover between being on overload and going completely blank. There was something she knew it was trying to figure out but when she attempted to consciously put the pieces together it was like everything was suddenly blocked. It had been like that to some degree for days. It was part of the reason she just couldn't seem to function normally. And now all that she could comprehend was a deep fear, utter confusion and a sense of dread. She'd been so resentful and depressed since she got there but this was the first time since the night of her download that she'd actually been scared. The attack hadn't scared her. She'd already been through the end of the world. She'd already watched countless people die. She'd already died herself. She wasn't afraid of dying again but she was afraid of whatever was coming now.

"I just don't know, Bill," She whispered as she looked at him.

The look in her eyes was desperate and he knew it was going to get worse before it got better.

"Are you sure about that, Laura?" He asked.

She wasn't sure of anything. Since she'd found herself aboard Alpha there were so many things that had struck her as strange and suspicious but she'd just pushed most of them to the back of her mind. She couldn't begin to take them apart before she could come to terms with actually being there.

"Where did you go today? When you left?" She asked looking down at her lap.

It was a start. Maybe they would have to work up to it, Bill thought.

"I went to Saul's like I said," He told her.

"But you didn't stay there," She finished.

"No, I didn't."

He knew she was already aware of that much.

"And you and Saul weren't really headed to the control room when the alarms went off?" She continued.

"No, we weren't," He told her and she nodded.

It was like she was avoiding it. She was frustrated with being in the dark but she was afraid of what the light was going to show her. She wasn't just inching toward it at a snail's pace, she was trying to find a way around it.

"Does that have something to do with what you have to tell me?" She asked.

Bill nodded and took her hand. He brought it to his lap and held it there. Her fingers were cold and he could feel her trembling with apprehension. He brought it to his lips for a moment before bringing it back down and clutching it between his palms.

"It does but l don't want to start there," He told her.

Her eyes were glassy and evasive as she looked at him

"Bill, you're scaring me," She said as she exhaled shakily.

"I don't want to scare you Laura. I just want to share something with you," He said squeezing her hand.

He bit his tongue hard until he could taste that it had started to bleed. It was like he was punishing it for not speaking for him. He wasn't sure where to start but he had to start somewhere. He swallowed away the tang of copper and tried again.

"A few nights ago we had dinner at Saul and Ellen's," He started.

"Yeah, I remember," She said rolling her eyes.

She'd been exhausted, in pain, and pelted with insults all night long. She sat and tried to eat food that she didn't want next to people she didn't care to be with. She remembered that much.

"I didn't come home with you. Ellen took you back here and I went to talk to Saul," He said taking a deep breath and shaking his head. He hated how precarious he was being but this was one of the hardest things he'd ever attempted to say. "I know we all drank that night and you took a few painkillers after so...I wouldn't blame you for not remembering this but...you were awake when I came home."

She narrowed her eyes at him and nodded slowly.

"I remember," She told him.

He nodded and looked at where he held her hand in his lap. He was about to tell her. He really was but then something came to mind. Something that had been bothering him deeply and he willed himself to change direction.

"I asked you a question that night when we were in bed. It…upset you. Do you remember what it was?"

Laura felt her breath catch in her throat.

"Yes," She answered but her voice barely carried a sound.

"I want to know why. I need to know what made you react that way," He told her almost pleadingly.

Laura suddenly felt anger starting to swell over her fear. He was supposed to be the one answering the questions and now he was probing her for information? Where did he get off? It wasn't fair.

"I'm not talking about that, Bill," She told him with razors in her eyes.

"Why the frak not?" He asked letting his frustration seep in even though he didn't want it to.

He knew this wasn't going to be the easy route to take but he had to know. She'd hurt him that night and it had made trying to tell her so exponentially more difficult for him. He would have accepted any answer. Anything at all except for what she'd said to him. He would share anything with her that she asked of him and through everything they'd been through she still couldn't do the same. She'd made him feel like a jerk for even asking. It had been eating at him ever since.

"Because it doesn't matter ," She cut.

He could see she was fuming but he had to press on.

"It does , matter, Laura," He said firmly.

"It doesn't ," She spit back trying to tug her hand out of his embrace.

He held onto it tighter.

"It matters , Laura. It's important," He repeated.

"Stop saying that, Bill!" She shouted in frustration, finally freeing her hand, " What the hell does it matter? Why can't you just leave it alone ?" She said as the heavy tears that brimmed her lashes finally spilled over and onto her cheeks.

" Because, Laura I want to know what it is about that question that upsets you so much . Why the hell can't you share it with me? I need to know what it is that's making you feel this way. What's it about? Is it because you think I won't respect whatever your answer is? That I won't understand ? Are you afraid I won't approve of choices made thousands of years and thousands of worlds ago? Did something else happen? Or is it just a bunch of ancient bitterness and regret that you can't bear to bring to the surface?"

" Godsdammit, Bill !" She cried out.

That night she had been frustrated. Her discomfort and her growing resentment fueled the cold deflective nature of her response. Ellen had acted like she'd done her some accidental favor by incorrectly estimating her new body's age but so far it had given her nothing but trouble. It was just another reason to hate the situation she was in. She would have answered him had she been in a better state of mind, had she not felt so painfully put on display by the strange and awkward circumstance. She would have admitted to him that nothing had ever terrified her more than the thought of her own child; the thought of loving another human being that much. She would have confessed that she'd avoided the possibility, pushed it away and convinced herself that she didn't want it until it wasn't an option anymore, all because she couldn't bear to know a love so deep. She'd have told him that he was the one who had changed that for her. That he'd filled her heart so completely that it then shattered to pieces with regret and loss as she realized that not only had she actually been capable of such raw devotion but that the ache that came with it was worth it after all. She would have told him how it felt to know that the realization had come a lifetime too late. She would have told him but that night her condition had made her feel defensive and exposed. She was angry when she thought that it had prompted his curiosity. Now she could see that it had never been the inspiration for his questioning at all. Something else had driven him to ask and it made her want to answer him even less.

Bill knew he was bordering on taunting her. He didn't want it to be this way but now his own emotions were driving him and he knew if he didn't press her hard he'd get nowhere.

"I need to know, Laura. Please? Tell me, why is even the hypothetical notion of a child so off limits?" He gritted.

Laura closed her eyes tightly squeezing anguished tears from the corners.

" Why the frak are you doing this to me?" She sobbed and it cut Bill like a dagger to the heart but he couldn't stop himself.

"Because, Laura it may not have mattered before but it matters now," He said looking into her eyes as they opened.

He saw them darken as she stared back at him. Her jaw went tense and her trembling breaths suddenly halted.

"Whatever it is you have to tell me…I don't want to hear it," She said, her words suddenly smoldering.

Her eyes were like an angry force daring him to step forward but promising hell if he did. He couldn't let it stop him. He knew it was just a bluff, just another wall she was putting up and he needed to find the strength to knock it down for the both of them.

"What if it were mine, Laura?" He dared to pose.

He saw her eyes flair before she responded.

"Shut up."

"What if it were yours and mine? Did you ever think of that? What that might be like?" He went on.

"Shut your frakking mouth , Bill."

"Did you ever even just once imagine it? Conjure up a picture in your head? Maybe a little girl? With your wit and my eyes? Ever? Did you, Laura?"

"Stop it."

"I did. I'll admit it. I did. I used to think about it when I sat with you in Sick Bay. You'd fall asleep after the godsdamn Doloxan. I'd watch you and think of all the lives I wished I could live with you instead of the one we were given and the thought came to mind. And to be honest with you, the idea made me happy because it was you and me. It was a silly little fantasy of a product of our love. Something that might have been if we met at a different time, a different place, if we had our whole lives together instead of just the bittersweet end . I thought about it, Laura. I won't lie to you…I just never thought it would ever be real…"

" Please stop, " She begged this time with an aching strain to her voice.

 

She hid her face in her hands as if they were one last pitiful barrier to put up.

She was pleading with Bill to quit but she was also imploring her own mind to shut down. Things were clicking into place without her intent; things she'd seen and heard, strange feelings she'd had, dozens of repressed little notions and it was all too much.

"But it is …" He finally told her, "I know it seems insane and I know you don't understand how it's possible but it is . I promise you that. I wouldn't be telling you this if I wasn't positive it were true," Bill said biting back his own tears, "We have a child together, Laura. We have a child together, you and me and she's alive and living here on this station," He finished.

She kept her face covered and just shook her head.

Bill swiped at his cuff and worked on retrieving the picture that Saul sent him in the hallway. He had it on the screen but he didn't project it just yet.

Bill gently pulled Laura's hands away from her face. Even through her sobbing tears and rejections he knew that the fact that she was still sitting there meant so much. He knew her and if she hadn't wanted to face this on some level she would have run from it. She would have gotten up and tried to leave before it got to this point. She could take it. Maybe on some level she wanted to take it.

"It isn't true, Bill. It can't be," She said as her eyes pleaded with him to tell her so.

"It is, Laura. We have a daughter. She's grown now but she's still ours. Part of you…and part of me," He said as he swiped once more at his cuff and the image emerged above it.

As he held it out for her to see he watched her face. Her eyes looked like they held electricity, her lips were parted in disbelief, and the salty stream down her cheeks flowed steady.

"Laura, it's Katya…" He told her, "She's ours."

Laura looked at the photo in stunned silence. The first thing she saw was the little girl's eyes. In some way they'd been haunting her ever since she first noticed them on the young woman. To see them now on the innocent face within the photo was like a punch to the gut. In the soft light of the image they were so blatantly blue and so undeniably Adama. Laura suddenly couldn't breathe. She panicked and with a sudden impulse she slapped her hand over Bill's wrist and slammed it down onto the mattress between them snuffing out the projection. She kept her hand tightly around his cuff pressing it into the rack as she tried to catch her breath.

Bill winced at her reaction. She was holding his arm in place as if it were a snake that would strike at her if she let it go.

"Laura," He started as he watched her almost panting beside him.

" It's a lie, " She suddenly said with her eyes wide as she looked at him. " Someone's frakking with us, Bill ," She insisted.

Bill shook his head.

"You want to look at that picture again and tell me that?" He challenged. She gripped his wrist even harder. He didn't know if it was a frightened impulse or a warning. "You can't deny this, Laura. You can try. You can do your best to make this harder on yourself and pretend it isn't real but you'll be in a constant battle with the part of you that already knows that it’s true. I know you believe it. I see it in your face. At first I didn't want to believe that it was true either but once Saul told me I saw it all over her; her eyes, her cheek bones, even the way she carries herself, and it was too hard to deny. You see it don't you? I felt the same kick to the head at how obvious it seemed after the fact. She's ours."

Bill tried to speak calmly and evenly but he was having trouble holding his own emotions back as he watched Laura's struggle.

"It's impossible," She almost squeaked between two hitched breaths.

Bill took a deep breath and let it out.

"No…it's not and before I tell you how it's possible I need you to know something," He said intently. "I need you to know that it was not Saul and Ellen's doing. They had nothing to do with it. They were in the dark about it too until they moved onto this station," Bill tried to explain.

Laura narrowed her eyes in angry disbelief.

"It's true, Laura. They had no idea and when they found out they were furious. They made sure that the people behind it were dealt with and then they adopted our child. They did that thinking of us. They did it so she would have a family, so they could keep her safe until we got here."

Laura let out a stifled sob at the mention of their child. Every time she heard him say it she felt her heart splinter into a million painful pieces all over again.

"I tried to tell you so many times. I just couldn't. I'm so sorry I kept it from you for as long as I did. I found out about it by accident. Saul and Ellen were having their own trouble telling us. I wanted to tell you that night I found out after their dinner party but...your reaction when I started scared me. You were already having so much trouble dealing with things. I was afraid of what this might do to you,” He admitted in tears.

Laura's crying was silent but hard and her body was wracked with the force of it. She couldn't have responded to his explanation if she tried.

"But, Laura, we weren't the only ones it happened to…" He paused.

 

He knew the evidence of the other children would synch it for her. It was a lot of information but he had to get it all out and he felt like the knowledge of the other kids would help her to see Katya for what she was. It was too hard to deny her identity once the others were in the equation

Laura held her breath in her best effort to stop the damn sobs from coming. They were starting to hurt her chest but she couldn't seem to repress them.

"The former project scientists; they did this with the bodies on each station about twenty-two years ago. It resulted in three other children besides Katya."

Her face went white as he spoke.

"That pilot, Lt. Bishop…" Bill stopped as he saw the sparks ignite behind Laura's eyes. She shook her head finally letting go of his wrist and she bent forward toward her lap as if she were in physical pain. He could tell she was filling things in just as he had, two and three steps ahead of Saul's explanation. He went on anyway, "He belongs to the Agathons," Bill confirmed as he started to get choked up again. "I kicked myself for not seeing it right away. I just knew something about that kid was so familiar," He recalled shaking his head. "And…the sergeant, Katya's husband Alexi…"

Bill was caught off guard when Laura shot straight up from her hunched position and her eyes flew open.

"…He was conceived from the bodies that used to be on Gamma. He's the son of Gaius Baltar and the Six," He told her, though he was sure she knew as soon as he had mentioned the young man's name.

Laura's palms were at her forehead as she stared into space. She truly felt herself going insane.

"There's one more; another young woman on Delta Station named Margot. She's the spitting image of the Three, D'Anna…and Sam Anders is her father," He finished with a hard swallow.

He saw Laura was in a state of torment as she tried to process everything he'd just told her. Her legs were shaking. He put a palm over her knee to try and still the tremor and bring her back to him. It worked to get her attention, though his hand just trembled along with her legs.

"Those bodies…these bodies, they were frakking brain dead," Laura choked out.

Bill slowly attempted to place his arm around her waist to still the rest of her body.

"I know but they were perfectly healthy otherwise and in those damn tanks, and with their life support systems these bodies were alive. They had the natural functions and capabilities necessary. Laura, I don't have many details about how they accomplished this. We can get them if you want but for now I only know the basics. I know that they took us out of those chambers and put us on life support. They took all they needed from me and they put me right back." He inhaled deeply as if he was trying to get his breath all the way to his toes. "As far as I know...your body was impregnated and then kept out of stasis. I guess until she was delivered but I don't know how ," Bill said with a relenting shrug. "I'm sorry I don't have better answers for you."

 

Laura leaned back and looked at him with a sort of horrific astonishment in her eyes. He was worried that she’d gone catatonic for a moment. He was both relieved and afraid when she finally spoke.

 

"In Med Ward," She started in a strained whisper. "Ellen took me that morning before the dinner. I had an exam. They put that frakking prevention implant in me," She said breathily recalling her mortifying time there, "And that doctor; the woman, she let me see my charts for a moment…" Laura said shaking her head in disbelief. "I saw it. I saw it plain as frakking day. The records indicated one live birth. I even questioned it. She frakking told me it was a mistake and I just took it. I took it and I shoved it away in the back of my mind…" She said looking past him. When she finally looked back at Bill's eyes hers held fresh unshed tears. "Oh my Gods, Bill. Are you telling me that I actually had a baby?" She said in what Bill could only describe as near awe.

He nodded slowly and took both of her hands in his.

"Katya," She whispered.

Bill nodded again before taking her in his arms and letting her shed all the tears she needed.

Chapter 16: Chapter 16

Chapter Text

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 126B: ASSIGNMENT; ROSLIN/ADAMA

YEAR: 2315

Laura dreamed fitfully. She dreamed of things that she had no memory of. She dreamed of a tiny swell in her middle and a full ache in her breasts that held no deathly meaning. She dreamed of a new and constant presence that felt as if it would forever quell any sense of loneliness she’d ever felt.

Then she dreamed of it being suddenly wrenched away. She dreamed of being submerged in cold numbing liquid, unable to move and having no need to breathe. She dreamed of hearing the soft muffled cries of an infant dulled by thick panes of glass and the waters that engulfed her. Laura dreamed of being torn between wanting to fight to reach the source of the far off whimpers and wanting to escape the sound by sinking deeper within the cool protective numbness of her surroundings.

She woke with no sense of time, her heart thumping in her ears. Her face felt tight and sticky, her throat sore and her ribs painfully stiff. Only then did she remember that she'd cried herself to sleep. She was in Bill's arms and he held her tightly to himself; so tightly that she knew he couldn't be sleeping behind her, not very deeply anyway. They were under the covers of their rack and she was down to her underwear. She couldn't recall laying down or slipping under the sheets.

She decided that he must have undressed her and put her to bed once she'd exhausted herself, after she couldn't shed another tear, after her mind and body had no other choice but to shut down. The memories of the night came back to her in a rush that caused a pain in the pit of her stomach and a cold sweat to break out on her face, neck and chest. Her jaw throbbed. Her teeth were clenched like a vice.

Laura knew that if she went back to sleep she'd only dream again but she hated the idea of lying awake in a state of repine. If she could have come up with another form of escape she would have but Bill was right there and old habits died hard. It would be the second time in less than twenty-four hours that she'd used him in such a way. Though their frenzied afternoon tryst had eventually taken on a deeper meaning it had started out as her desperate attempt at distraction. She might get away with it once more but Laura knew that if she tried it again Bill would start to catch on. In the past she'd never resorted to such behavior with Bill no matter how difficult things had gotten for them and she hated that she was being driven to now.

Richard had been another story. She so frequently sought him out for a carnal form of withdrawal. It had started when her mother was sick and then just became an occasional impulse when she wished to forget. On the worst of days she'd come to him, not to talk or to be comforted but to lose herself in blunt physicality. Toward the end of their relationship it accounted for almost half of their meetings. If Richard had noticed, he’d never let her know. He just obliged her, or took advantage of it; she never knew which and she never cared to. Bill would do neither; not once he caught on but for now she was almost certain she could get him to avail her. The guilt she felt was being eclipsed by her need to forget and she didn't try to fight the old haunting inclination.

At first she moved slightly in his arms alerting him to her wakeful state. She was almost sure he was up. His breathing wasn't very steady and he still held her with a force. Slowly she inched her foot back and ran her toes from his shin to his ankle giving him a silent greeting. She had little desire to speak to him or even look at him for that matter. Not right now. Now she just wanted to be touched by him. When Bill only returned her gesture with a subtle squeeze of his arms Laura pressed her backside into him with obvious intent until she heard his breathing change and she felt his unmistakable response. When she thought she heard the start of a protest whispered behind her ear she froze, but when his words were lost and his hand moved to her hip she regained a contrite confidence in her ministrations. Before she could lose her nerve she placed her palm over the hand that warmly rested low on her hip and guided it to where she needed him to be. His hesitation was brief against the thin satin that covered her skin but soon she was sure she'd be getting what she sought out. The silky yet cumbersome fabric was pushed to the side and out of the way along with everything Laura was trying to forget.

When she found that she was still sore from earlier she was almost glad. The added pain would serve as even further distraction and she felt somewhat gratified in taking it as punishment for using Bill in this way. The more it hurt the better as far as she was concerned.

She hurriedly urged him on making no allowance for languid movements or soothing caresses. Her pleading pants and breathy half words of encouragement all but begged him for whatever mix of pleasure and pain he could give. She was surprised yet grateful to find Bill carrying out every desperate request that past her lips even though she was almost positive that he could tell that he was hurting her. It was out of character for him but she was just thankful that he wasn't holding back. When she was finally on the edge she took his hand again and crushed it to her breast; a furious last attempt to suppress the sensations from the lingering false memory of her dream. When he abruptly paused at her almost violent advance she panicked fearing that he would stop all together, but when he regained his rhythm and slipped his hand under the lace of her bra on his own accord she was finally able to let go. It wasn't satisfying or pleasant but for a moment her mind went blank as her center contracted with her sought after distraction. Bill stilled behind her with a harsh grunt only moments later. With the tremors of aftershock and the sounds of their labored breathing Laura hoped the fresh tears that had been incensed by her feverous release would be masked. It was over and she had nowhere else to hide. She pressed her face into the pillow to stifle any evidence of her distress and she prayed that Bill would quickly fall into a satiated sleep. When he leaned his weight onto her back and pressed his face into the base of her neck she held her breath.

" Don't ask me to do that again," He warned huskily before rolling off of her and to the other side of the bed.

She cried herself to sleep for the second time that night, this time without the comfort of his arms around her.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR C

MED WARD

YEAR: 2315

Katya dreamed she was falling. She wasn't falling to the surface or even out of her ship. There was just the dreadful sensation of a free-fall with no sense of direction and no end in sight. Above her she felt the presence of half a dozen hands reaching to save her from the plummet. She knew that if she just embraced one it would be enough to rescue her from certain demise but she refused to reach for any of them. Their extending offer was making her angry and resentful instead of grateful. She started willing the hands away and yearning for impact. Suddenly she felt that anything would be better than the feeling of an eternal descent. When she finally felt the bottom approaching she woke with a start. Her vision was blurred and she couldn't tell where she was. She struggled to lift her head but it felt like it was filled with cement. The dim light of the room she was in seared through her eyes and hit like an ice pick to the frontal lobe of her brain. It was the sterile medicinal smell that finally alerted her to the fact that she was in the infirmary.

Katya frantically felt for her surroundings. There was a cold rail to one side and surprisingly, what felt like a warm body to the other.

"Calm down, kitten. You're okay," Ellen said softly from where she lay next to her on the ward bed. She calmed Katya's roaming hands with her own and leaned in with a reassuring kiss to the top of her head, "You're okay. I’m here. Just calm down."

"Ellen?" Katya rasped.

Her throat was dry and the sound of her own voice caused her head to throb in pain. She winced at the awful ache. When she went to palm her pounding temple a hand came out of the darkness catching her wrist stopping her from doing so.

"Watch it," Ellen warned keeping her voice low. "That was just closed up. Don't touch," She told her placing Katya's hand down gently at her side.

"Ellen, my head hurts," She cried, still in somewhat of a daze.

"I know baby. You were in an accident but you're fine now. That pain's gunna go away soon," Ellen assured her as she trailed her fingers soothingly down

Katya's arm, stopping at her bruised wrist which was now bare and awaiting a replacement cuff.

Seeing Katya’s wrist without the device made Ellen remember a time when she was too young to wear one, when both her hands were free and unencumbered. She remembered having to take her in to get fitted for her first one on her twelfth birthday; an Orbit system law. Something about it had saddened Ellen even though Katya was happy to get the device. In Orbit it sort of signaled the end of childhood.

"Do you remember reporting for duty, honey?” Ellen tested. “The station alarm going off? Any of that?"

She wasn't sure how much Katya would remember of the night and she wasn't sure how much she wanted to divulge just yet.

Katya nodded with another painful wince.

"I remember," She whispered, unconsciously reaching her hand toward her newly mended cut once again.

Ellen caught it a second time and brought it back down without bothering to scold her.

"Where's Slip?" Katya worriedly asked as she stuggled to open her eyes.

Only the pale overnight lights were on in the ward but they were enough to sting harshly in her over-sensitized state.

"Who?"

"Slip. Slip-Shot. I hit him," She said straining to look around, but the curtain was closed and she could hardly make out any detail anyway.

"Oh, the pilot." Ellen finally realized, "He had to have surgery, kitten, but he's been out for a while now and he's okay too. Tawny told me before she went home. He's resting. Same as you should be."

Katya went to nod but her neck was too stiff.

"Alexi?"

"He was here. He stayed with you for a while until he was sure you were alright and then I sent him home. Uncle Saul came too. He left a little bit ago. It's been a long night. Everyone needs their rest."

"Why didn't you go home with him?"

"Because I didn't want you to wake up alone. I know you hate being here, baby. I would never let you stay the night here all alone.”

Katya sighed.

“I’m not a baby, Aunt Ellen. You could have gone home.”

“Nonsense,” Ellen said moving some errant hairs away from Katya's face. I'm just so happy you're okay.”

"Aunt Ellen, you need sleep too. You don't have to stay here all night," She said blinking hard and hoping her vision would clear.

"Katya, it's hardly night anymore. The morning shift is going to be coming in soon. It's already done. I am right where I want to be."

When Saul came to check on them he'd barely tried to persuade Ellen to come home. He knew there wasn't a chance she'd leave Katya's side after the night

they'd had. She would hardly even look at him as they both sat by the ward bed watching the girl sleep. They didn't speak much except when he asked about Katya's condition but when he left it was with a warning.

"Ellen, I hope you know that I love you both more than anything. You two are the only reason I still drag my ass out of bed in the morning…But I won't do anything to help either of you make this harder than it has to be. No matter how much either of us loves that girl, we're here for a reason. We have a goal. After everything you've accomplished, Ellen, don't lose sight of that now."

"Goodnight, Saul," She'd said dismissing him and letting him know not to expect her home anytime soon.

"Goodnight, Ellen. You should expect that Laura Roslin will know about her daughter by morning," He told her tersely before leaning in to kiss the top of Katya's sleeping head, "Feel better, kit," He whispered so softly that it brought stinging tears to Ellen's overtired eyes.

She avoided looking at him as he made his way behind the curtain and out of the ward. It was then Ellen had kicked off her shoes and crawled into bed beside their daughter. She'd been laying there ever since.

"Ughh, why can't I see straight?" Katya asked with painful grumble.

"You have a concussion, Katya. You had a pretty deep laceration on your temple. Do you remember it at all?" Ellen asked soothingly rubbing her shoulder.

"Yeah, I do. I remember…I just..."

"It's okay, sweetie. You don't have to force yourself. Just go back to sleep. I promise your head will feel a lot better next time you wake up," She assured her, "But just know that your neck will probably feel a little worse. They're pretty sure you'll have some mild whiplash. Be ready for that," Ellen warned.

"When can I go home?"

"Soon, we'll see. You need a new cuff first. Yours broke," Ellen reminded her as she gently ran a finger over her bare wrist.

With the shape that Katya was in now Ellen couldn't believe that the girl had actually been up and walking less than an hour after the collision. Tawny had partly attributed it to an adrenaline rush. She told Ellen that some concussion symptoms could take hours to materialize and that whiplash and strained muscles might not be felt for a day or two. The doctor actually suspected that Katya would feel worse by morning but Ellen wasn't about to tell her that.

"I hate it here," Katya complained.

She truly couldn't stand the ward. Though she trusted the doctors and staff that worked there she detested the medicinal smell and the awful sounds of people in pain. Worse was the eerie silence, only disturbed by mechanical beeps and ticks. She was always so afraid she would die there. She didn't want the last thing she smelled to be latex and rubbing alcohol. She didn't want the last thing she heard to be the moaning suffering of others.

"I know, I know, baby, but Tawny said she might keep you another night. Just rest. We will figure it out soon," Ellen assured her as she attempted to cuddled back into place.

"I think…I think Tawny's mad at me…" Katya said trying like hell to remember. She knew there were things she couldn't recall about what happened but it hurt

her head too much to think. It was a reasonable assumption though. It wasn't often that Katya left the clinic without giving her friend at least some measure of grief.

"Yeah, kitten, she is,” Ellen confirmed. “You've gotta learn to listen to her when you're in the ward. Once you're admitted you have to think of yourselves as a patient and a doctor, not a captain and a second lieutenant and not as friends. She deserves your respect when you come in here," She added in low but serious tone.

Tawny had been livid when Alexi burst through the clinic hatch with Katya in his arms. If her father hadn't been in surgery she would have made him treat her instead. She cooled down quickly. It wasn't in her nature to hold a grudge and once her anger subsided she was more concerned for her friend than anything else. She'd learned long ago what it meant to love Katya Isakoff and sometimes it took patience and forgiveness.

"What did I do this time?" Katya asked hoping to get her apology straight before Tawny returned to duty.

"Nothing. It's not important, kitten, just go to sleep. You'll talk to her later."

Ellen knew that once she reminded Katya that she'd left that ward it would lead to a conversation about her visit to the cabin and she just wouldn't bring that up yet.

"My head still hurts."

"When the next shift comes on I'll have them give you something stronger for the pain, now sleep."

"Fine," Katya said as she finally let her heavy eyes close and allowed herself to succumb to the exhaustion that pulled at her, "Love you," She whispered as she

drifted.

"I love you too, baby."

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 126B: ASSIGNMENT; ROSLIN/ADAMA

YEAR: 2315

Saul hadn't seen Bill since the night of the atmosphere breach. Almost three days had passed and the only communication between the men had been two brief messages on their station cuffs. One was from Saul updating Bill on Katya's condition. The other was from Bill telling Saul that Laura knew. After learning that Bill had finally shared his secret Saul decided to give the couple some space. He didn't attempt to contact them directly and he relied on status reports from the marine guards posted outside of their cabin to make sure that they were alright.

Once Katya finally discharged from the ward Saul felt like it was time to check up on Bill and Laura. He wasn't comfortable letting a third full day pass without seeing them for himself.

Saul only shared the news of Laura's recent discovery with his wife. With Katya's injuries slightly worse than first expected they didn't want to upset her with the news. She'd been discharged under the stipulation that someone be there to care for her around the clock for the next few days. Since Alexi's platoon responsibilities kept him from doing so, Ellen was all too happy to play Dr. Mom. Katya would be recuperating in the Tigh’s cabin until she was well enough to return to her own quarters and she'd be out of the cockpit for week at the very least.

Things had been tense between Saul and Ellen since Katya’s accident. As much as Saul wanted to protect his little family, he saw in both women a propensity for self destruction and he was dreading the backlash that he knew would soon be coming. He’d promised Bill that he'd keep his own house in order and he planned on doing so, but for now he needed to get away.

With a bottle in one hand Saul saluted Vladi and the marine guard with his other before banging on the hatch of Bill's cabin.

Soon Bill opened the door freshly dressed and hair still damp from an afternoon shower.

"Saul," He greeted with a dim smile.

"Is this a bad time?" The colonel asked, "I sent a message, but uh, as usual you didn't answer.”

"No, no it's fine. I guess I missed it," Bill said looking at to his cuff. He just couldn't seem to get a hang of the damn thing, "C'mon in."

Saul took a few steps inside before he stopped to scan the cabin for Laura. When he didn't see her he figured that she must be in the head. Seeing Bill's damp hair he wondered if hadn't interrupted something after all.

"You sure I'm not intruding?" Saul asked.

"It's fine," Bill assured him as he closed the hatch behind the guards.

"Hey, how's Vladi working out?" Saul said gesturing to the entrance. He'd been wondering for days how they were adjusting to the new centurion guard.

Bill shrugged.

"We've been a little preoccupied," Bill said with a roll of his eyes, "For a while we weren't even sure if it was the same one out there. Then yesterday the thing brought Laura a frakking candy bar. Scared the hell out of her," Bill laughed remembering the shock on her face at the odd and astonishing gesture.

"Yeah, that's Vladi alright," Saul chuckled, "He likes to bring things for Katya and Ellen now and then. Sometimes it's an apple or some kind of fruit. Once when she was little he brought Katya a stuffed bear. She still has it. Sometimes he brings things that don't make a lick of sense. Spoons, old bolts, shoe laces; but the girls always praise him just the same. He must sense Laura has some connection to Katya," He said with a bemused smile.

For a moment Sual wondered if perhaps Vladi could just sense Laura's own cylon facets. He supposed that it was possible but no doubt a topic for a later time.

"I don't understand that whole thing, Saul. I mean it’s fine that it's out there. I'm over it. I think Laura is too, but I didn't think those things had much in the way of personality. I get that you and Ellen can…do whatever it is you do to tell them apart, but how the hell did you teach Katya to do the same?"

Saul sighed knowing that conversation was going to happen sooner rather than later.

"I'll explain it to ya, Bill, but first thing’s first.  I come as just another lowly Cylon bearing gifts," Saul said in jest waving the bottle of clear liquid in his hand.

"If that's for medicinal purposes you're a few days too late," Bill said with an acerbic grunt.

The last few days had been draining. The first night was the worst. He didn't sleep. He stayed awake in an apprehensive vigil awaiting the uncertain twists and turns of Laura's emotional gauntlet. He'd done his best to be there for her as she struggled with the soul shaking news. When the trembling started he did what he could to calm her, when she cried he attempted to dry the seemingly endless stream of tears and when she was desperate and pleading for some crude form of escape he'd even reluctantly appeased her. By the next day he was exhausted, not just from lack of sleep or his assistance in their over aggressive distraction but from trying to keep a step ahead of Laura's varied reactions. It was near impossible and by the second night he'd brusquely implored her to get a grip.

"It's a gift from Katya," Saul said in a low voice, unsure if Laura was in earshot. He hadn't seen her since before she found out and he still wasn't sure how she was taking the news, "Her cousin Miloš heard about the collision and he came to visit in the infirmary. He's the one that I told you about. He always brings the stuff from Gamma. Kit said that since we were all pretty well stocked up that I should bring this one to you. We never did get around to stocking the bar in here," Saul added handing the gift over. Bill took it and smiled down at the transparent bottle. "The commander was a little jealous when he came to see her. She usually sends the overflow Kaplan's way but she wanted it to go to you. Guess you've really made a friend," Saul said with an eager smile.

"I hope that's true," Bill answered still looking down at the offering.

He was touched by the sentiment. There wasn't much written on the simple label but the characters that made up the words were so foreign to him that he couldn't begin to decipher what they said. "How is she?"

The look on Saul's face quickly transformed into one of concern.

"She came home this morning. Got the doctors to release her early by bugging the ever loving hell out of them. The concussion is causing her some recall problems. She says she remembers being hit, the collision and waking up in triage but everything after that is...fuzzy. She didn't remember much of what happened after she got to the cabin. Alexi filled her in though. She's not too happy with herself," Saul shrugged, "She's got some nasty whiplash. Didn't really set in until the next day. She woke up in a lot of pain. The worst thing is that she won't be flying any time soon. If she's not working she's not happy. They put her on some powerful painkillers, though," Saul said with a short chuckle, "They're making her a little loopy so I don't think she's fully absorbed the news quite yet. When she does, I hope I have one of those bottles on hand," Saul said gesturing to the vodka Bill held.

"I think we could both use a bit right now," Bill mused, making his way to the kitchenette.

"You sure Laura won't mind if I stick around?"

"She's not here," Bill answered as he gathered two glasses.

"What do you mean she's not here? Where is she?" Saul asked in surprise.

He was still uneasy with the thought of them traveling around the station, even with armed guards and he couldn't imagine where Laura would even go.

"She's actually headed to your place. She went to find Ellen," Bill explained evenly as he poured.

Saul's eye went wide and his jaw went slack.

"Bill, Katya is at our cabin. She's staying in her old room so Ellen can take care of her while Alexi's on duty," He hastily informed him.

Why hadn't Bill said that in first place? Why hadn't they let them know Laura was on her way? How the hell were they still not getting the concept of messaging before popping in? Saul felt panic starting to rise from within. He thought he'd have more time to talk to Ellen and to prepare Katya. Another grim thought came to him as he remembered that they had a second house guest. Margot had come to visit. She was there when he’d left. Laura would be facing all three women.

"She isn't going there to start trouble, Saul,” Bill explained, walking over with the drinks. “It's Ellen she wants to talk to, not Katya"

Saul shook his head. Did Bill honestly think it made a difference?

"Bill, we should get down there," Saul said pausing only to grab the drink out of Bill's hand and toss a large gulp back in a hurry. He winced as the liquid burned its way down, "You don't understand what Laura's walking into. Margot's there sitting with Katya right now and Ellen's been in rare form since the accident. I just don't like the idea. If Laura had sent a message first maybe I could have convinced Ellen to talk to her once Katya felt better but with her just showing up there…"

"Calm the frak down, Saul," Bill interrupted taking swig of his own drink.

Saul stared at him in confusion. The man didn't look exactly unphased but he didn't seem like he was in any hurry to intervene on what Saul was sure was going to be an explosion.

"Look, Laura didn't send Ellen a message because she didn't want to give her the chance to come up with an excuse not to see her. I'm not stopping her, Saul. I can't and won't keep Laura shielded from the harsh realities anymore.”

The look in Laura's eyes after he told her reminded him of when he’d found her burning the Book of Pythia, after they found Earth to be a desolate wasteland. That look scared him deeply. It wasn't that he'd lost his patience with her, he just needed to snap her out of the awful state she was in. When he finally found himself begging Laura to get her head straight he’d immediately felt awful about it but his honesty had triggered something in her and soon he was glad he'd done it. After a few hours of unsettling silence her aberrant behavior had become more contemplative. She'd eventually started asking him questions and talking to him without the influx of constant breakdowns. He was relieved to see a sense of curiosity and determination in her. He was even relieved to see her anger surface when he admitted to going to Katya without her. It was how he'd expect the old Laura to react. Even though she was mad he took comfort in her returned vigor. Soon he'd told her everything he could but she wasn't satisfied. Remembering his talk with Katya Bill decided the answers she wanted were ones that Laura needed to acquire herself so he sent her to the only place he knew she could find them.

"She needs to face what's happening here,” Bill continued. “And she needs to regain some sense of herself. She won't be able to do that if I keep letting her hide. She needs to be able to handle Ellen. She needs to be able to handle Katya and since I don't think there's a great chance of getting either one of those women to take it down a notch then Laura's just gunna have to buck up. She's capable. You know that. She just needs to find that part of herself again if she's going to survive here."

Bill spoke with feigned confidence but Saul could tell he was trying to convince himself that Laura would be alright.

"What about Margot?” Saul pressed. “Does she know about the others, Bill? She's about to come to face to face with D'Anna and Sam's frakkin’ kid and you know she's a dead giveaway," He tried to argue.

"She knows," Bill said simply taking another drink.

Saul nodded and looked inside his half empty glass. He could feel the booze starting to warm his insides. He hoped that soon it would start to settle his nerves.

"Why send Laura there on her own, Bill?"

"Laura needs some answers, Saul. You told me that Ellen would be the best one to give them to her so that's where I sent her. She needs to talk to someone besides me. Being held up in here with her mind working overtime is driving her crazy. Believe me she won't be in a hurry to face Katya, but she couldn't wait around anymore wondering what was done to her. I told her everything I knew but she needs more. I can't give that to her. Ellen's all she's got," Bill said grimly.

"Katya doesn't even know that you told Laura. Ellen didn't want to upset her," Saul offered as a final challenge though his agitation was waning.

"All three of them are going to have to deal with each other sooner rather than later. If you want to insert yourself as referee then go on ahead, Saul. I'm

gunna sit here and drink the booze my daughter sent me," Bill said taking a seat on the sofa with something between a groan and a heavy sigh.

After a pause Saul reluctantly joined him. Bill was right. What could he really do to change the way they'd interact anyway? They sat in silence for a moment both thumbing their glasses.

"So how'd she take it when you first told her?" Saul asked.

He wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer but he felt like for Katya's sake he should be aware.

Bill inhaled deeply recalling the night when he’d confessed what he knew.

"I really thought it was going to put her over the edge,” Bill admitted. “Honestly, Saul. I was scared to death it was actually going to make her lose her damn mind.”

"But it didn't," Saul filled in.

"For a while it seemed as if it might have...but the other night she turned a corner. She really did. I had to nearly physically snap her out of it but something happened. She started talking to me. She started asking questions and answering mine. She's still shocked, she's still scared and upset but…she's curious. She wants to know what was done to her…to us. She isn't curling up into a ball and trying to will it all away. She wants to know. That's why I sent her to Ellen."

Saul nodded as he tapped his fingers against the rim of the glass.

"She have any kids before?" He asked realizing that besides her political career and some scandalous rumors that he never dared ask Bill to confirm, he never knew very much about Laura's life before the destruction of the Colonies. He’d figured she didn't have much of a family. She never spoke about any that he’d heard but he was never sure. So many people had left loved ones behind and been forced to go on without them almost as if they'd never existed.

"No," Bill answered followed by a small sip.

Once Laura started to come around she'd been able to open up to him a bit about the choices she'd made in her last life. He was grateful for it but her explanations broke his heart all over again. He wondered if her newly found fortitude wasn't in some way fueled by the notion of a second chance but he didn't dare propose it. She was only just accepting that it was true and she hadn't said much to indicate that she wanted a relationship with Katya at all. When Bill even brushed the subject of seeing her again Laura looked almost frightened at the thought. He knew she that needed time. She wanted to understand how the child got there and if that's what she needed to do before she accepted who she was then he understood. He was just so relieved to see her out of the fog she'd been in that he hesitated to jeopardize it in any way.

"She was a school teacher," Saul shrugged, "She must like kids."

"She loves children but Katya isn't a child anymore," Bill corrected.

"Tell me that when you've spent the morning trying to get her to take a handful of meds," Saul mused getting a soft laugh from Bill.

Katya was impossible when she was sick. Even when she was a young girl they had to fight her tooth and nail to rest and do what was best for her health. It was one of the reasons Saul had left the cabin to come see Bill. He was happy and relieved to have her home but Ellen was much better at dealing with her when she was ill and he needed a break.

"In all honesty, Bill, Ellen and I did our very best with Kat but we could still use some help. I keep waiting for the day when she doesn't need us anymore, the day when my works gunna be done. Half the time I dread it. It's nice to be needed by my little girl but the other half of the time I'm barking at her to get her shit straight and wondering if that day is ever going to come…but I guess it doesn't work like that," Saul squinted.

"No, no it doesn't," Bill said with a knowing sigh laced with years and years of experience.

"Ya see?" Saul said with a smirk hoping he'd proved his point.

"I get it, Saul. I'm willing to play whatever part Katya will let me but I don't know about Laura. I know she's curious to know what happened to her, what was done to her…but as far as Katya goes...I still can't tell if Laura has any intentions of having a relationship with her. She was pretty pissed when she heard I went and spoke to her on my own but I'm not sure if that was because I was lying or because she wanted to be there with me. I just wish the two of them had gotten off to a better start," Bill said rubbing his forehead.

“So say wel all,” Saul said with a chuckle and a grunt. "Bill, just to give you some persepctive, Katya is the most temperamental person I know. She could be mad as hell at you one day and the next she's like an angel. She's always been like that. Part of it's just that she's a damn pistol and the rest, well, she's learned how to throw a hell of a tantrum from watching Ellen,” He admitted. “You tell Laura not to take Kat’s anger or her sharp tongue to heart. She doesn't mean half of what she says when she's upset. They just need some time. If Laura's willing, Katya will come around," Saul assured him. Bill nodded but he looked unconvinced so Saul continued, "When the kids were about thirteen years old the Orbit Education System had a station wide junior orchestra concert. During one of their rehearsals Alexi burped in Katya's ear and she smacked him over the head with her violin so hard he still has a scar. Now she's married to the kid," Saul shrugged.

"You're making that up," Bill said with a scowl.

"I am not. Ask Ellen. Better yet, ask the Sergeant. Katya was kicked out of the concert on suspension and I still had to pay for a replacement instrument. That kid's head broke that violin," Saul insisted breaking into laughter and inciting Bill to do the same.

"She sure sounds like a handful," Bill said raising his eyebrows.

"She was… is , but she's very loving and she's very loyal. As much as I complain about her, just one of her smiles reminds me that it's all worth it. She's got me good." Saul happily confessed.

"I can see that," Bill smirked, "You and Ellen both," He added.

"Well I'm not ashamed to admit it, though sometimes I think we should have been tougher on her. After everything she'd been through before we got her Ellen just wanted to spoil her with love and affection. I tried to be the disciplinarian, tried to play XO of the household but she was just so sweet and innocent, I just couldn't help wanting to do the same most of the time. When she was little she wanted so badly to know you and Laura. She knew you were her parents and she so desperately wanted her mother. I think sometimes Ellen and I went overboard trying to compensate. We meant well though."

Hearing Saul describe her as a little girl pining for a mother she never knew sent a sharp pang to Bill heart.

"I know you did, Saul," Bill acknowledged with a nod.

"Behind that tough exterior she's still the same little girl who clung to Ellen for dear life on nights she was scared of the dark, the same girl who would rush to give me a hug when I walked through the hatch after a shift. She's still the same little girl who just wanted her mother. She's just…grown. Even though I know Ellen is dreading it...I hope maybe one day Laura can see that part of her,” Saul offered.

"I hope so too,” Bill wistfully agreed. “I'm not sure she wants to but...I hope so.”

"You know Ellen and I could never have children...and when I lost my son…when I lost Liam I thought my second chance had died with him. Maybe Katya was meant to be second chance for all of us," Saul posed.

"Maybe so," Bill considered for a moment, "Saul, when the frak did you become so prolific?" He joked.

"Try living a couple hundred thousand years. It gives you lots of time to think," Saul said clanking his glass against Bill’s before they each drank to the sentiment.

Bill hoped Saul was right. He'd already accepted that Katya was his child. He'd already been completely taken with the knowledge that she was Laura's. The circumstance was strange and parts of how she had come to be were downright awful but even so Bill was internally captivated by the idea. Even though it happened in the most bizarre way possible, knowing he and Laura had made a child together filled him with a sentimental satisfaction that he didn't dare share with her yet.

"Just under a week until the download on Beta," Saul said changing the subject.

If they were going to wait out the result of Laura's visit they might as well think of something else to pass the time.

"Yeah," Bill answered taking another sip and staring off at the wall.

"I spoke to Margot this morning about the security concern. She's been working on transmitting a new firewall from the basestar. Said it's pretty much a go. She seemed confident," Saul explained.

"But?" Bill said holding his glass inches from his lips.

"But…she also told me they found evidence that some inter-station communications may have been intercepted after all," Saul admitted gravely.

Bill stared at him but said nothing. He didn't have to. His face said it all and Saul could hardly look him in the eye. He knew Bill thought the stations had been foolish in keeping a fully functioning network in system and now he was getting to say I told you so.

"Don't look at me like that," Saul told him.

Bill just grunted with a caustic roll of his eyes before finishing his drink.

"It's not public knowledge. In fact I'm not sure even Kaplan was informed yet. Margot said the EOC was pleased with her team’s fix and since there hasn't been any follow up since the attack they don't seem worried," Saul explained.

"But you are," Bill quickly observed.

He could suddenly see it written all over Saul's face.

Saul let out a long breathe.

"Ellen tried to get an extension to push back the Agathon's download. With Katya's injury and the recent breach she thought it would be safer to wait a bit

longer but…I told her she'd better just follow along with the schedule as is."

Saul finished his last unsatisfying sip and rested the empty glass on his knee.

"So you think your so called lull in combat is coming to an end?" Bill filled in.

"I think…the sooner we can finally get the six of you together the better off we'll all be," Saul answered.

Bill leaned back into the sofa with deep sigh. For a time they were quiet again each letting the booze and the news sink in but finally Bill broke the silence.

"Saul, what do you think the commander would say if I wanted to enlist?"

The colonel looked at him like he suddenly sprouted an extra head.

"Are you frakkin' crazy, Old Man?" Saul answered with a scowl.

Bill shook his head and gave him a half smile.

"Go fill us up," Bill said handing his empty glass to his friend.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 119B: ASSIGNMENT; TIGH

YEAR: 2315

Margot was visiting Alpha for the weekend. Though she planned to stay in Katya and Alexi's cabin she was finding herself spending most of her time at the Tigh's as Katya recuperated there under Ellen’s watchful eye. Katya was in and out od sleep under the influence of the powerful painkillers Tawny put her on but Margot was happy to sit by her side and lift her spirits during her more lucid moments.

Ellen was glad to have the two girls in the cabin, even under the circumstances. It was just like old times. They lounged on the sofa watching videos on the network and laughing. Margot used her communications expertise to help Katya configure and reorganize her new station cuff, taking her mind off of her sore neck by loading it full of new applications that hadn't yet been released to the general public.

Ellen was happy to bring them drinks and snacks just as she had when they were kids having a sleep over. She and Katya ribbed Margot about her upcoming date and they all talked about general station gossip until Katya drifted off once more into a drug induced sleep snuggled up under blanket.

"She's out," Margot told Ellen who walked over to the sofa and shook her head.

"She should have her neck brace on," Ellen said with a roll of her eyes.

"Yeah, last time I told her that she threw it at me. I have no idea where it landed," Margot giggled.

Ellen sat down on the coffee table with a huff.

"Well, she's going to pay for it when she wakes up." She shrugged, "So what are you and Sydra planning on doing later?" Ellen pried with an impish smile.

"I don't know," Margot blushed, "I figured we could head to the civvie side for some drinks, get the hell out of here for a while," She shrugged.

"She stays in the officer's quarters doesn't she? Hmm, not much privacy there," Ellen prodded.

"This is the first time I'm taking her out," Margot blushed with wide eyes.

Ellen had been sticking her nose into the girl's love lives since they were old enough to date. She had no qualms about asking for personal details and giving unwarranted advice. She mostly just embarrassed them or had them laughing red in the face with her own taboo tales.

"So what's your point?" Ellen said with an arched eyebrow.

Margot just shook her head and cleared her throat.

"Hey when are you and mom heading over to Beta?" She asked in a desperate attempt to change the topic of conversation.

Ellen's face dropped at the mention of the Agathon download and she ran a frustrated hand through her hair.

"Probably not until the end of the week, unless your mother has other ideas. You know I thought the EOC would allow for an extension when Katya got hurt but no go," Ellen shrugged.

"Yeah, they are really on mom's ass," Margot partially defended. She was aware of her mother's reputation but she also knew the pressure both she and Ellen were under. "I thought we'd get an extension out of the security concern. Mom tried. She was worried about it just as much as anyone. She doesn't want to jeopardize anything you've both worked so hard for. The committee said they were satisfied with the reconfigured firewall from the basestar. I mean, I stand by the work my crew did but I just can't help but feel like the committee is rushing things," Margot shrugged.

"I believe it," Ellen started but she was interrupted by a knock at the hatch. "Who the frak is that?" She grimaced looking to Margot for a clue.

"We didn't invite anyone," The girl shrugged, "Stay put, Ellen. I'll get it," Margot said popping out of her seat and heading for the door.

As she got up she knocked Katya's blanket half off of her and Ellen stood to gather it.

When Margot opened the door she was overcome by a familiar flood of anxiety as she found herself staring into the stunned face of Laura Roslin. She had to stop meeting these people this way. When the woman stood in a wide eyed silence for more than few uncomfortable moments Margot tried a nervous smile.

When it got no reaction she turned for help.

"Um, Elle?" Margot called looking back to where Ellen stood holding the blanket limply in her hands.

Margot stepped out of the way making sure that she could see who her house guest was.

As Ellen looked over and saw Laura staring mouth agape in Margot's direction she felt her heart sink. She had been dreading her appearance for days and now there she was. Her dread was quickly replaced by annoyance.

"Laura?" She called once as she bunched the blanket up within her folded arms, " Laura !" She tried again finally snapping the woman out of her stupor.

Laura shook her head too shocked by Margot's appearance to be embarrassed by her floored reaction.

"Sorry, Ellen," She said quickly as she tried to take her eyes off the young woman before her.

"Are you coming in?" Ellen asked with obvious frustration seeping into her words.

Laura nodded and stepped through the hatch as Margot closed it behind her with a wave to the marine outside. She managed a small thank you as the girl

walked passed her.

"Laura, are you okay?" Ellen asked knowing exactly what her issue was but goading her nonetheless.

When the other woman nodded unconvincingly Ellen decided it was time for introductions.

"Laura Roslin, this is Specialist Margot Le Blanc. She's visiting us this weekend from Delta," Ellen vaguely explained. She knew that Laura was newly aware of Katya, but Saul never mentioned if she'd been clued in to the heredity of the other children. If she hadn't, Ellen figured she was now.

"Le Blanc," Laura repeated as she turned to Margot again.

Margot tried another smile and offered her hand to Laura who took it tentatively.

"Yes, Ma'am," She confirmed. "You must have met my mom. Please don't hold it against me," She tried to joke and immediately regretted it. The woman had met Michelle Le Blanc but she'd also known her real mother. Margot wasn't sure just how Laura would take the musing comment. Thankfully she couldn't tell if Laura had even heard her, "I'm very honored to meet you Ms. Roslin," Margot attempted.

She and her three counterparts had been coached on how to greet these people their entire lives. She felt somewhat gratified in finally getting to do it.

Laura gave her the best smile she could muster which felt like a lot more than it was.

"Good to meet you Specialist,” Laura muttered.

She was surprised she was even able to get that much out. When Bill told her that Margot was D'Anna's spitting image he wasn't kidding. She looked a good deal younger than D'Anna had ever appeared, her hair was a lighter blonde and her eyes a soft grey but the facial features were dead on. Laura didn't quite know exactly what she expected when she'd decided to come find Ellen but being greeted by a face she hadn't seen in thousands of years hadn't occurred to her.

Margot made her way back to the sofa once Laura let go of her hand.

"What can I do for you, Laura?" Ellen asked shaking out the blanket and draping it over Katya who still slept undisturbed.

When Laura noticed the girl curled up on the sofa her throat closed up tight and she completely lost her breath. If seeing Margot had been a shock, finally seeing Katya was the surprise punch to the gut that followed. She hadn't been ready for it. She’d figured that she would still be in the ward. She should have braced herself for the possibility but she hadn't. Now she was fighting the urge to fall apart in front of Ellen and the young stranger who didn't look like a stranger atall. Fighting a hitch in her throat Laura managed to find her voice.

"Is she alright?" She asked in a shaky whisper as she knowingly looked down at her daughter for the first time.

She saw the bandage over her temple and she shuddered as she remembered all the blood from the night of the accident. Katya's blood, her blood.

"She's fine . She's sleeping," Ellen said quickly and without sympathy for the other woman's obvious emotion, "What do you need, Laura?"

Ellen's apparent irritation was enough incite some of Laura's own anger.

"I need to talk to you," She said finally finding her strength and giving the other woman a stern glare.

Ellen huffed. She had known this this was coming but she just wasn't ready for it.

"I can't right now. If you think I'm getting into this here you're out of your mind," Ellen smirked.

Laura took the flippant jab at her psyche a little more personality than it was meant and it made her anger flair more than she should have let it.

"I didn't ask you to do it here , Ellen," She bit back.

"Well, my kid isn't well, so I'm not leaving her," Ellen responded with a stubborn shrug.

Laura palmed her forehead overwhelmed with frustration. She could hear the intent in every one of Ellen's words. She felt their sting like salt in a wound but spiteful as Ellen was, she still needed her help.

"Ellen, I need to talk to you. I need some answers and I don't know where the frak else to go. Now if you won't give them to me then at least point me in the

direction of someone who can. Please?" Laura appealed, hating that her request had such a despairing tone. She didn't want to beg the woman but she would if she had to. "I think you owe me that much," Laura said taking her eyes away from Ellen's and glancing toward where Katya slept.

Ellen inhaled deeply and held it as she followed Laura's eyes. For a moment both women watched over Katya in a tense silence.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, Ellen," Margot said tentatively, "But I'm happy to sit with Kat if you two want to step out for a while. I don't have to be anywhere for a couple of hours," She suggested trying to sound as innocent as possible. She knew the offer would probably have her in the dog house with Ellen Tigh but she didn't care. She couldn't help feeling for the woman she’d just met. The last time she'd seen Laura Roslin she was choking in a vat of cylon goo. Now she looked like she was ready to crack into pieces. Something about the scene didn't sit well with Margot. She knew that her own birth mother would come face to face with Michelle Le Blanc soon and though she knew her adoptive mother would never share the degree of possessiveness for her as Ellen seemed to for Katya, she didn't like the tension she felt in the foreboding situation.

"Are you sure, Margot? I don't want to make you late for your date," Ellen pressed.

"I'll get ready here. That way Alexi won't have to take a break to let me into their cabin. It's fine," Margot assured with a grin.

Ellen rubbed at her eyes trying to decide what to do. She knew if Laura went back to Bill and told him that she'd refused to speak to her there would be another throw down once Saul got wind of it. She had to walk a fine line. If she completely alienated Laura she'd risk inciting Katya's sympathies for her. If she just gave in and spoke to her there was a chance she could get her to leave without Katya ever knowing she'd shown up. She looked back to Laura in consideration. She hated that the desperate look in the other woman's eyes actually made her feel awful. Ellen knew why she was there. She wanted to know what the hell was done to her. She wanted to know how the frak she had a twenty-two year old daughter after only being conscious for a solid week.

Ellen did believe that Laura had every right to know what happened to her body before she got there. She figured that giving her access to her files and records without proper explanation would probably send her off the deep end. She wanted her away from Katya, not useless to the entire project. Laura was still her responsibility after all. Saul was right. She couldn't lose sight of that.

"Alright," She finally agreed. "If you're positive that you'll be okay with her, Margot."

"It's fine. I'll watch her sleep and when she wakes up we'll just hang out. If starts giving me grief I'll just shove one of those big white pills down her throat. I watched you do it all day. I think I can manage," Margot chided playfully earning a scowl from Ellen.

"I'll try to be back soon. If she wakes up make sure she drinks some water and take another dose. If she wants to go back to sleep have her move into the bedroom and put that brace on. Lying there on the couch can't be good for her neck. If you need to leave before I get back call the colonel," Ellen worriedly

instructed.

"Yes, Ma'am," Margot said with a smile and a nod.

She wondered what Katya's reaction was going to be when she told her about the awkward exchange between her two mothers. Thankfully, unlike most people, the captain didn't scare Margot a bit.

Laura watched Ellen bend down and tuck the blanket under Katya's chin before placing a kiss on her sleeping cheek. Irrationally the scene sent a painful jolt to her heart. She was suddenly relieved they would be leaving the cabin.

Ellen looked up with a simper of a smile somewhat satisfied with the look on Laura's face.

"C'mon. Let's go," She said turning to walk toward the hatch.

Ellen glanced over her shoulder to see that Laura hadn't followed.

She was still dumbstruck and staring down at Katya.

"Laura, before I change my mind," Ellen called out in rude honestly.

Laura finally nodded and moved to follow her.

"Where are we going?" She asked.

Ellen shrugged.

"How 'bout the scene of the crime?"

Chapter 17: Chapter 17

Chapter Text

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR C

MILITARY LABORATORY

YEAR: 2315

The two women walked the long halls in silence, neither bothering to even look at the other.

Once they reached their destination Ellen quickly ran her cuff over the hatch panel and entered the lab with a determined stride. Looking around the sparsely populated room she found her target. She motioned for Laura to stay by the hatch and zeroed in on the young doctor who was busily engrossed in her work.

"Sydra," Ellen called getting her attention.

"Mrs. Tigh," The scientist greeted happily, "I haven't seen you in here since…" Sydra trailed off when she noticed Laura Roslin nervously standing by the entrance. She hadn't seen the woman since her download and first days in the infirmary. It was wild for Sydra to see Laura in the lab where she'd existed in an inanimate state as the focus of her work for years.

"Yeah, well about that," Ellen said motioning in Laura's direction. "I need you to clear the lab for a while," She instructed.

Sydra narrowed her dark eyes unsure of what Ellen meant.

"Mrs. Tigh, I can't. I have doctors and techs in the middle of…"

"Yes, you can Sydra," Ellen interrupted, "I'm telling you that you can . The most important thing that has ever or will ever come out of this lab is standing right over there. You can take a break," She insisted, "Besides, I know you have plans tonight. Your date's getting ready over at my cabin as we speak. Go home early and do the same."

Sydra was annoyed at what she deemed an inappropriate reference to her personal life but having an extra hour or so to get ready wasn't the worst idea.

"You know the lab rules, Mrs. Tigh; there is supposed to be at least one senior staff member on duty at all times," Sydra argued.

"For the rest of the evening I'm that staff member," Ellen answered.

Technically she was right; she was the lab’s most senior staff member but she had little knowledge of anything outside of the project that might need attending to.

"Let me keep a tech here," Sydra posed.

"No," Ellen stubbornly countered.

Hearing the exchange was making Laura nervous. She was already reeling at the view she had of the empty chamber that she knew her body had once occupied. The fact that Ellen seemed so insistent that they be alone worried her.

"Mrs. Tigh, you're being unreasonable," Sydra said becoming somewhat flustered.

"And you're being insubordinate, Dr. Kahdim. Now if it helps, keep the video feed streaming on your cuff, on your tablet I don't care. Just get out and take your staff with you. An hour, hour and a half is all I'm asking. Then you can send whoever you want back in here and go enjoy your night out."

Sydra shook her head in frustration finally giving in. She turned with a huff and went to dismiss her minimal staff. Satisfied, Ellen made her way back to Laura.

"Guess you don't want an audience," Laura said as she watched the techs and doctors slowly disperse.

"No, I could give a frak less,” Ellen corrected. “I did that for you.”

Laura felt her face and neck go flush at Ellen's words.

Once the lab was clear Ellen went around and shut off some of the more blaring laboratory lights. She was already getting a headache and the bright white of the room wasn't helping. For a moment she watched Laura stare at the empty tanks and she wondered how she would even begin. She supposed she might as well let Laura lead the conversation and ask away.

"Home sweet, home?" Ellen teased getting Laura's attention.

Laura glared at her through the corner of her eye not amused by the reference.

"Take a seat, Laura," Ellen said gesturing to two lab stools that sat at a center island.

They both sat on the same side of the counter and for a while they fell into an uneasy silence again. Ellen was bothered by Laura's dejected demeanor. She had expected her to start demanding answers right away. This wasn't the Laura Roslin she was used to. The fact that she now had to offer up information at her own acquiescence was more than irritating.

"I'm supposed to be taking care of her right now, Laura,” Ellen said with narrow eyes. “Doctor's orders. It's her first day out of the ward and I'm not going to spend it silently staring at you. So why don't you tell me what you want to know so that I can answer you and then get back to her?" Ellen said in a spiteful tone but when she saw Laura's eyes suddenly water she felt an abrupt and unexpected rush of regret.

Laura’s head hung down and Ellen could see large heavy droplets already quietly falling into her lap. She bit at her lip and shook her head. She needed to calm herself down and consider the situation Laura was in. The poor woman was totally confused and there was no way that she would  fault her for that. Ellen remembered the rage she felt herself when she'd first found out about the creation of the four children and she could only imagine what might be running through Laura's mind. Before she could stop herself she reached a consoling hand out to cover the other woman's knee.

"Look, Laura. I'm sorry," She admitted, "I'm just…sorry," She repeated keeping her meaning vague.

Laura looked up at her slowly. Her eyes, though still tear filled had taken on an obvious sheen of indignation.

"Ellen, I get it," She said sharply. "I do. I really frakking do, so why don't you quit punishing me for something I can't help just long enough so that I can frakking understand it?"

Ellen leaned back slowly, took a deep breath and nodded.

"So…" Ellen started with a shrug, "When did he tell you?"

Laura wiped at her eyes with both hands.

"After we left your cabin,” She answered in a low voice. “The night of the attack.”

Ellen nodded again considering her response.

"I know it's a shock. I remember the day I found out. Saul has spent the last fifteen years trying to figure out how he was going to tell you both. I guess he figured as far as you were concerned it was better coming from Bill."

Laura had no response and her forlorn nature was making Ellen feel somewhat uneasy.

"Can I ask what else he told you?" Ellen cautiously inquired.

Laura took a shaky breath.

"He told me about the others," She admitted, "I just…I didn't expect to see that girl today."

"It's startling I know. I watched her grow up and it was as if every time I saw her she looked more and more like D'Anna. It's a little spooky but sometimes kids just look like their…parents. She's a very sweet girl. Good natured, very friendly, always wants to lend a helping hand. In that way she's so much more like Sam," Ellen said wistfully remembering the last time she'd seen him, manically babbling on an overheated Galactica. "Did Bill tell you why ?" She pried.

"Yeah," Laura said shortly with a nod, "Not at first but he filled in whatever blanks he could later. Do you actually believe that those people thought that such a farfetched plan would work?" She asked obviously doubting the validity of the story she was given.

"To be fair, Laura, the whole thing is so farfetched and these people were so desperate at the time, yes I believe it. It's well documented that it was their intention to replace the need for your resurrection. When I found out I went over every recorded feed and every log possible. They accepted that they had made a mistake only a few years later but that was their original intent," Ellen explained. "I won't defend what they did. They obviously knew from the start that Saul and I would never stand for it. It took us seven years to even get wind of it. It was immoral and it was wrong but once we found out what they did to you there were already four little kids thriving around the system," She finished.

"I just can't wrap my head around the fact that I actually…that she's…" Laura couldn't finish her thoughts without getting choked up.

With a sigh Ellen got up and retrieved a lab tablet where it sat docking on a nearby counter. She sat back down beside Laura and turned the translucent device on. After a punching in a few directives she motioned for Laura to run her cuff over the screen. With a trembling wrist Laura did as she was asked. Nothing projected from the device, instead Ellen turned it back to face herself. She swiped and tapped for a while seemingly searching for something. When she finally found what she was looking for she sat the tablet down on the counter top and set it to project above the screen.

"What's this?" Laura asked looking at the image and back at Ellen.

"It's an Earth Orbit system birth certificate," She explained, "It's Katya's," She added moving the device with its trailing image closer to where Laura sat.

The document was illuminated in Alpha's pale blue, matching the color of their cuffs and the station's military service bands. As Laura read it she felt like she was in a daze.

 

 

EARTH ORBIT CERTIFICATION OF LIVE BIRTH

ALPHA STATION

YEKATERINA NATALIA ISAKOFF

#A8893YNI

SEX: FEMALE

BORN ON THE 8TH OF AUGUST, 2293

AT 1510

760 GRAMS/ 1.68 LBS 14.02 INCHES/ 35.6 CM

ALPHA STATION MILITARY LABORATORY FACILITY

MOTHER: LAURA ROSLIN - FATHER: WILLIAM ADAMA

RESIDING DOCTOR: MIKHAIL SEVASTIAN ISAKOFF

*SEE NOTIFICATION OF LEGAL ADOPTION AT BIRTH

BY DR. MIKHAIL SEVASTIAN ISAKOFF

*ADDENDUM OF GESTATIONAL MATURITY

WITNESSED ON THE 1ST OF NOVEMBER, 2293

AT 0807

2622 GRAMS/ 5.78 LBS 18.70 INCHES/47.5 CM

ALPHA STATION MILITARY LABORATORY FACILITY

MOTHER: LAURA ROSLIN     FATHER: WILLIAM ADAMA

LEGAL GUARDIAN: MIKHAIL SEVASTIAN ISAKOFF

RESIDING DOCTORS: MIKHAIL ISAKOFF & NING XAO

 

 

 

Laura's eyes were wide as she read the certificate three times over. There were so many peculiarities but all she could focus on was seeing the word mother next to her own name. When her eyes moved to read it a fourth time she forced herself to stop. She closed her lips that had unconsciously gone lax in her astonishment over the simple document and she swallowed hard.

"I thought seeing it in plain text might help it sink in a bit," Ellen offered gaining Laura's focus once more.

Laura shook her head and ran her hand through her hair.

"I feel like the more I learn the more I realize I don't understand," She said looking back at the illuminated record.

Ellen moved her jaw back and forth considering how to go on. She wanted to leave. A look at her cuff not only showed that it was time to wake Katya for another dose of medication, but it showed a message from Saul; ‘Keep your head, think of our kitten’. He obviously knew where she was or at least who she was with. Ellen was thinking of Katya. How dare he imply otherwise. Katya was all that she could think about. Right now she was struggling over how the hell she was going to explain the beginning of the girl's life to her birth mother without having the woman fall in love with her just as she had through the same process years ago. She remembered meeting Katya for the first time; a beautiful little girl with sapphire eyes full of fear and wonder. Ellen had immediately felt for her but it wasn't until she'd looked through the girl's records and saw everything from her first gestational images to videos of her as a toddler that she truly fell head over heels for the child. She couldn't wait to pick her up from Michelle Le Blanc's temporary custody and take her home once their adoption was final. Ellen still so often went through Katya's baby pictures and videos, looking at the six years of her life that she’d missed. She longed to hold the tiny infant she saw fussing in the lab with only a clinical foster father and his band of technicians there for comfort. She wished she could have been there to witness the bright little girl learn to walk and speak two languages before she was even two years old. She wished she had been there to see her learn to read, to watch her put on her first pair of ballet slippers, and lose her first tooth and most of all she wished that she and Saul had been there to save her from the atrocity she'd eventually witnessed. Ellen had experienced that part of Katya's life only through saved logs, old images and archived videos but it had all been more than enough to open her heart to make room for the girl. Soon she’d taken up most of the space there. Ellen was afraid that once she shared Katya's story the same would be true for Laura. Her only hope was that the woman seemed more appalled than endeared by the news so far. Perhaps she wouldn't be as taken with idea no matter what she learned or saw.

Upon noticing that Laura was looking Ellen attempted to quickly blink back her tears and straighten her posture.

"Katya was the first," She offered, "She's the oldest out of the four. Once your pregnancy was confirmed and considered stable…" Ellen hesitated as she saw Laura go deathly pale at her words, "…they moved on to Sharon Agathon, then Caprica. D'Anna was last. That's the way things are usually done. It's the order of your creation. It's why your resurrection was first and why Karl and Sharon are going next."

As she saw Laura's pallor she rethought the situation.

"Laura, are you sure that you want to hear all of this right now? Maybe you should wait. I'll approve your access to your records now. Maybe that way you can just go through them when you're ready," Ellen suggested hoping she'd found an out.

Laura shook her head.

" No . I want to know and I want you to tell me. I know that there isn't another soul left on this station whoknows what went on as well as you. I'm not weeding through that mess of medical records without you, Ellen." Laura announced with a quaking insistence.

"Then I suggest that you get a grip, Laura," Ellen raked, "If you're already going white as a ghost then how the hell are you going to handle the rest of it? I'll tell you what you want to know but I'm not offering to scrape you off the floor once I'm done."

Laura bit at the inside of her cheek as Ellen spoke. She knew that she was right, no matter how crass her words were and it was the second time in as many days that she'd gotten the same suggestion. It was true. If she was going to get through any of this she needed to find some sense of strength. She needed to pull herself together. Inhaling as slowly and as steadily as she could she did her best to steel her nerves.

"You're right," She admitted looking directly into Ellen's eyes. She sat up straighter on the stool and placed both hands in her lap,"I want to know how," She finally said with more confidence.

Ellen suppressed the urge to roll her eyes and groan. She had a fleeting thought that this was some kind of cosmic karma for every unwanted sex talk she'd ever given Katya and Margot.

"Guess you never taught sex-ed?" Ellen teased with an arch of her brow and a cheeky smirk.

It was only an attempt to break the grim tension but Laura's response was less than appreciative.

" Fine ," Ellen said swiveling her stool to face the table and placing her palms against the cold counter top, "I'm sure you've gathered as much but since neither one of you was in any position to willingly participate in their plan the deviant motherfrakkers just went ahead and did it anyway. I worked so closely with those people. They did so much good and then they just betrayed me," Ellen said shaking her head. She still had never forgiven the group for what they'd kept from her. She'd accepted Xao's apology long ago knowing he had little to do with the actual project offshoot until it was too late to stop but Le Blanc was different. As closely as she and Michelle had worked over the last fifteen years their relationship still held an undercurrent of malice over the deception. “The EOC gave them the go-ahead and they took you and Bill out of stasis and put you both on life support. You can surmise what they did to Bill to get his contribution. Wham-bam, he was back in the tank in no time. But you…well your body was out for the majority of the year," Ellen almost stopped when she saw Laura grip the end of the counter but she figured she had to allow her some measure of reaction as long as she didn't lose what was left of her mind right in front of her, "Le Blanc didn't want to rely on artificial insemination. She knew that if it didn't work the first time they'd just have to fish Bill out of the tank again. She had Dr. Isakoff do what’s called an ova harvest. They pumped your body full of hormones to hyper-stimulate your ovaries. Then they pumped you full of even more to mature the resulting ova. Then Isakoff performed an egg retrieval. You can look it up later if you want. The extraction is no picnic but without your consciousness your body didn't have the capabilities to feel pain…Do you, uh, want me to stop?"

Ellen thought that Laura looked like she was about to be sick to her stomach but she shook her head in defiance.

"No. Keep going," She said in a trembling whisper as if her voice had escaped and left the rest of her there to bear the brunt of the storm.

It was the weakest no Ellen had ever heard but she went on anyway.

"Isakoff had his team externally fertilized your harvested eggs with Bill's sperm creating several viable embryos. Then, Ms. Popular, they did another procedure on you. They did what they call an elective single embryo transfer. They basically took what they thought to be the strongest and most viable embryo and they implanted it. Lucky for those creepy bastards, it took the first time. If it hadn't or you'd miscarried later on they would have done it again with a second and a third until it either worked or they exhausted their embryo supply,” She continued with a sigh. “ But that wasn't the case. They had you knocked up on the first try. They didn't even need the rest. Oh, and before you lose your shit, the rest of those embryos have been destroyed. They discarded them two years later, so you don't have a brood somewhere on ice, if that's where your mind was going."

It hadn't been but it was now. Laura had never gone from being so sickened to being so relieved so quickly. She couldn't even speak let alone form a coherent question so she just let Ellen go on.

"Like I said, once you were about six weeks along the same process was started on Helo and Sharon and it just went down the line. I'll refrain from sharing the details about the others with you if you don't mind. There are still two other woman who get to hear their own lovely tale," Ellen said caustically, now reminded that she still had to go through this twice more. Technically she'd only be responsible for Sharon now that Bishop was dead. She could leave D'Anna to Michelle but she wouldn't do that to one of her own. D'Anna was a Three, one of Ellen's creations just as Sharon was and she wouldn't let Le Blanc coldly tell either of them about their children. She wouldn't even have done it to Caprica had she still been in the mix. Ellen imagined it would be easier with the others. They were Cylon women. They instinctively understood the value of experimentation for the greater good and they understood that sometimes awful mistakes were made. They understood that sometimes the wrong road was taken. More importantly she expected they'd be fascinated, even honored to bear a miracle that humans so often took for granted and in that Ellen would wholly empathize with them. She wasn't dreading explaining anything to them as much as she was dreading the rest of her conversation with Laura. She just didn't have the same stake at hand when it came to the rest.

 

Laura turned to the counter and leaned her elbows on the table letting her head hang heavily on her palms. She needed a second. She needed a moment to regroup and let what Ellen was telling her sink in. She was breaking out into a cold sweat that she couldn't suppress. Though she heard Ellen's words and descriptions they all seemed to echo in her head registering in delay.

"I'm sorry, Ellen. I just need a minute," Laura mumbled into her hands.

"That's alright. I'm actually impressed you're even still in the seat," Ellen admitted.

With a deep sigh she got up to search for the staff cooler. Once she located it she retrieved two bottles of water. When she returned and placed one on the counter Laura nearly jumped out of her skin startling Ellen in return.

"Frak, Laura, it's just a bottle of water! I'm not scooping in to troll for more of your eggs," Ellen chided.

Laura exhaled with a slight glare in Ellen's direction.

"I'm sorry. My nerves are just…"

"That's alright. I get it," Ellen said palming her own bottle as she stood by Laura's side. "Look, Laura, I just have to say something before I go on. I’m...I’m really sorry,” She started. “I’m sorry that all of this happened to you. I'm sorry that the body I planned for you to have was violated in such an awful way. I never intended for that to happen. The man that did all of this to you, well, he was dead by the time I found out. I never got to tell him what I thought about him. I never got to punish him for it...and I would have. Gods know Saul would have snapped his neck for even daring to think of it. I didn't get to give him what he deserved. I took that out on the other three doctors and the men and women who sanctioned it.  I wish I could have done more but…It’s just…even though all of this was so wrong and even though Saul and I were disgusted and enraged by it…well…then we got pretty familiar with the end result of it all and...like Saul says; it's hard for us to wish now that it never happened. No matter how she got here, we could never wish that Katya hadn't been born," Ellen confessed. “She’s such a special person and we love her so much.”

She wasn't sure why she'd just told Laura all of that. Her vision for their new bodies had never included them finding out that they had been used and defiled before ever getting the chance to inhabit them. Ellen felt partly responsible for that part. She had trusted the wrong people. Perhaps this was the form her apology was taking but she wasn't for a second going to let Laura think that her condolence for the circumstance in any way affected her love for Katya. If Laura wanted to close her eyes and wish that the kid had never existed then that was her business. Ellen was going to make damn sure that she understood that Katya was wanted and loved no matter how she felt.

Ellen watched Laura dejectedly leaning on the table. She saw her wince and she watched a few tears escape the corners of her eyes. She wasn't about to console her. The last admission of sympathy was all that she was going to offer for the moment. Just when Ellen decided to give her a few more minutes to regroup Laura's voice caught her off guard.

"How'd she get here?" She asked with her head still supported by her hands at her temples.

Ellen's eyes narrowed and she took her seat on the other stool again.

"Not sure what you mean," She said crossing her legs.

"Cut the crap, Ellen," Laura said finally lifting her head to look at her.

Ellen leaned back and smirked as she recalled the visit they’d made to the ward together. She took a sip from her water bottle before she spoke.

"I know that Tawny let you see your chart that day in the clinic, Laura," Ellen said cocking her head to the side, "She came right out of that exam room and admitted it to me after her stupid screw up. Some brilliant doctor; I almost shoved my fist down her throat," She scoffed with a roll of her eyes.

"Well frak you for not telling me then," Laura bit turning to face her.

" No. Frak yourself, Laura ," Ellen countered with a sardonic laugh as she suddenly leaned forward. "Do you think that I can't see how godsdamn unhinged you've been since you got here? Good lords, you've been beside yourself! Look, I'm very sorry for the trouble you've been having adjusting but if you're under the assumption that you've been doing a good job hiding it then let me assure you that you've lost your touch . Maybe the others don't see it but I do. Guess this version of Laura Roslin can't cloak her feelings as well as the old one. What happened, Laura? The Old Man turn you soft?" Ellen taunted. "If you thought for one moment that I was going to tell you that day in the ward with that manic look in your eyes and a hormone surge to boot then you're crazier than I figured."

Laura silently seethed for a moment as she shot daggers back at Ellen. She could claw her eyes out right now for being so dead on, for calling her on every painful truth, for being such an antagonizing bitch but to do that would be to prove the woman's point. Laura still needed Ellen as much as she loathed the thought. Ellen had all the answers that she was desperately searching for and most importantly she was the closest person in this world to Katya. If they were ever going to get anywhere, if they were ever going to get through this, Laura couldn't give in to every spiteful remark that Ellen Tigh threw at her. She had to keep her talking.

"Well maybe I'm not as fragile as I was then," Laura posed using all of her strength to show some sense of confidence in her statement, "I want to know. I don't know what that doctor told you about what happened in the ward but what I saw on my chart was fleeting and vague so just answer me. I've known for almost three days now and I've gone over this body in the mirror for more hours than I care to admit. I can't find a sign."

Ellen bit at her lip and tapped her fingertips on the counter. She just wanted to get home to snuggle up on the sofa with Katya and forget that any of this was a reality but she couldn't. This was her responsibility. Whatever resulted from it she'd just have to deal with it later. She reached over to where the tablet sat between them and pulled it closer so she could see the projected document. She read it for herself for about the hundredth time in fifteen years and let out exasperated huff.

"Kind of a mouthful isn't it?" She wistfully gestured to where Katya's full name was shown, "Not what I would have picked but I guess it grew on me," She snarked and shrugged with a small smile. "She's always been so proud of being born under the Leo constellation. She takes the cat thing to heart if you haven't noticed," Ellen softly giggled thinking back to fifteen birthdays they'd celebrated together, "She was born right here in this very lab with minimal staff in attendance. The offshoot of the project was still being kept a secret by the government. It was on a need to know basis and I wasn't on the guest list."

Laura looked back over each line of the birth certificate for a fourth time. It was still just as bizarre as the first. Katya's name, her station number, her birth date and time; it was all there but it just didn't seem real.

"Why was she so tiny?" Laura finally asked in a strained whisper as she thumbed away the new tears that started down her cheek. It was the first specific question she’d managed to ask. She'd noticed before but she’d been overwhelmed at first for most of it to register.

"She was," Ellen echoed running her finger over where Katya's birth length and weight were listed. "She was tiny but she was perfect ," She continued as her own eyes welled and threatened to spill over. "The doctors decided that they didn't want any of you to have to undergo any major surgery. Though these children were seen as your possible replacements, nothing was certain. Your safety was still their number one priority. That meant that they couldn't let them go to term,"Ellen explained. "If they had it would have made the delivery processes much more complicated in the state your bodies were in. Nearly impossible without surgical intervention. The decision of when to deliver them was left up to each doctor. Isakoff's notes actually indicate that he meant to take her sooner but there were some complications; some bleeding during your seventeenth week, I think it was. He didn't want to risk any trauma to you or the baby at that point so he waited," Ellen said with a halting breath as the heavy tears in her eyes finally shed. She took the tablet in hand and quickly swiped away the birth certificate. She searched for the data she wanted as Laura sat watching with her mouth agape. When Ellen finally found what she was looking for her breath caught in her throat, "Gods, even her gestational images were precious," She said out loud, though she hadn't intended to. She didn't care; she wasn't going to stifle her emotions for Laura. She didn't think she could have if she tried. As she looked at the image of Katya still all scrunched up in the womb she hesitated to place it down to where Laura could see it. It was like she was suddenly having to expose something that she'd always kept for herself. When she finally willed herself to project the picture she placed it between them on the table. When Laura immediately let out an audible gasp Ellen felt a chill run through her body.

Laura was so overcome that her cries felt stuck. They felt like they were lodged within her throat, trapped deep in her chest threatening to burst in some sorrow filled spontaneous combustion. The baby in the picture could have been anyone's. It had the same large bulbous head, the same button nose, and the same tightly cocooned little body that was standard for any in-utero fetal imaging. She remembered her sister's ultrasounds looking just like this, one's that friends showed her, even both of Richard's children. She’d seen many pictures like it and could never tell one from the other. The baby in the picture could have belonged to anyone but it didn't. It was hers. It was her baby back when she was still warmly protected inside of her.

"You didn't get very big," Ellen said carefully watching Laura's reaction to the photo.!"I mean it was obvious. Anyone could tell, but still...that's one reason why there's no lingering evidence. At twenty-six weeks Dr. Isakoff decided that you were both healthy and stable enough. He and his team induced labor with an intravenous cocktail of synthetic hormones and pharmaceuticals. With specially engineered electrodes; two at the base of your skull and a half a dozen others strategically placed around your body, they had decent control over your muscle function. They were able to manipulate them with corresponding software, though, I imagine your body did most of the work itself. It's a natural process, no matter how unnatural the setting. The female body is just designed to do it. You'd be surprised how much of it is actually involuntary," Ellen said as she watched Laura's wet eyes double in size. "Your body labored for a full day before she was born. I know she was less than two pounds but it still didn't look like a cakewalk to me…but I wouldn't know anything about that…then again, neither would you," Ellen bitterly reminded them both with sniffle and a shrug. "When she finally arrived she couldn't cry. Her little lungs still weren't strong enough. She couldn't even open her eyes yet but she kicked her tiny feet pretty good. I guess that's all she could do to let everyone know she was here," Ellen said smiling through her tears remembering the breathtaking recording.

When she reached out for the tablet again Laura suddenly grabbed her wrist and stopped her. Their eyes locked, both sets heartsick and painfully tear filled.

"No, Ellen. Please. I can't watch that," Laura said fearfully with her hand still tightly gripping Ellen's arm, "I can't."

Ellen nodded her head slowly.

"It's alright, Laura," She said in a more gentle tone. “I wasn't going to play it. I get it. It's not easy to watch," She offered as she saw some sense of relief form on Laura's face and felt her fist unclench from where it had clamped onto her wrist. "But so you understand, Laura, it is available to you…if you ever do want to watch it. You should know that other than me and any lab staff that needed it for reference, no one else has really seen it except for Katya, and that was her right. For a while in time her records were your records so she has access to it too. Her father…Isakoff, he'd always been very open and truthful about the process with her but I know she eventually got curious and wanted to see for herself. Most of the staff that was in attendance was killed in the attack and so Katya is probably one of a handful of people alive to have ever seen it," Ellen explained studying Laura's reaction for a clue that it was safe to go on. She cringed at how broken the poor woman looked. “I know that you probably feel very exposed right now...but it's really only me and Kat...and a few medical professionals. I know that probably doesn't make you feel any better but…” Ellen shrugged and gave up at a loss of what to say.

When Laura finally gave half a nod in her direction and leaned back on her seat Ellen attempted to speak again.

“Are you alright?”

Laura nodded through her stunned tears.

“I’m sorry, Laura,” Ellen reiterated, not knowing what else she could possibly say to ease the shock.

Laura gave another nod as dull and unconvincing as the one before it.

“Should I continue?” Ellen tested as she reached for the lab tablet.

“Yes,” Laura finally rasped in response.  

Ellen swallowed hard and cleared her tight throat.

"I know that it seems dangerous to have purposely delivered a baby so prematurely but it's actually common here and quite safe,” She began again. “Back on the Colonies preterm babies were avoided at all costs but here sometimes they even planned for. Once Katya was born she was put in what they call a gestational chamber or an artificial womb. It basically looks like a little version of the stasis chambers you and Bill were in. It allows for healthy fetal development outside of the mother’s body. It's certainly not optimum but people choose to do it here all the time for health concerns or even just to get back to work early. Women in the military or with other physically demanding positions for instance, sometimes find it to be a fitting alternative to a forty week long process. Some women with health issues that impede them from carrying a pregnancy to term greatly benefit from the option. There is an entire laboratory on the civilian side of this station that looks like some kind of aquatic nursery. It’s called the Estuary. It's a little bizarre at first but parents can go visit their babies and watch them grow without the burden of respirators and tubes and wires encumbering their little bodies. As long as the placenta and umbilical cord are kept intact they thrive pretty well in the synthetic amniotic environment."

Laura's eyes were shut tight as she rubbed at her temples to keep them from throbbing. The overload of extraordinary information was physically wearing at her. She felt bile rise in her throat and she squelched it down.

"I don't understand, Ellen,” She finally snapped catching the other woman off guard. “If they could do that then why did they bother implanting the embryo? Why use a body that couldn't function without life-support and remote electrodes when they have frakking baby making machines?"

Laura' stomach turned again as she thought of some designer baby factory. She got shivers when she remembered Starbuck’s story about the farms she found back on Cylon occupied Caprica. What Ellen was describing was straight out the old nightmares that Kara’s stories had inspired. Laura knew that imagining her own baby in such a chilling setting would be enough to inspire new ones.

"They aren't baby making machines, Laura,” Ellen insisted. “She couldn't have survived without you first. A fetus can only be safely moved to one of those chambers after twelve weeks maternal gestation. The earlier they go the bigger the risk. They can't just grow a baby like it's a frakkin' tulip. They've tried and failed for years. Work's with clones, doesn't work with zygotes and even I don't understand why," Ellen defended letting just a bit of frustration come into her voice again. "Look, they didn't use a surrogate because of their bullshit theory about combining your souls or whatever crap they thought they were accomplishing. They couldn't just grow these kids in tanks like frakking clones, no offence, so whatever way you want to look at it the fact is Katya came from you," Ellen said with finality.

Laura opened her eyes and looked everywhere but at Ellen. She finally nodded in acceptance. Ellen was right. There was no changing any of this. She remembered the dream she'd woken from in the middle of the night. Everything had seemed so real. If she let herself she could still remember the sensation of a new life fluttering inside of her. She knew that the memory was a false one and that just made her desperate to forget.

"Her chamber was set up right over there," Ellen gestured. "Not far away from Bill's. She was taken out on the first of November. Three months after her delivery."

When Ellen started again Laura couldn't help but notice the introspective look in her eyes that took over every time she spoke about Katya. There was no denying how Ellen felt about her. Laura had seen it the first time the Tighs introduced the girl. Hearing the other woman talk about her daughter's birth with such raw emotion truly showed Laura the depth of the connection. It felt strange. She should have been grateful that her daughter had a mother to care for her but there was a bitterness to knowing that Ellen Tigh had experienced a love Laura knew she probably never would. Saul seemed to have a close and loving relationship with Katya and now even Bill had spoken with her and developed a kind of friendly rapport. Laura could already see in his eyes that he'd developed paternal feelings for her. It had always been so easy for him. On Galactica there were more than just a few young men and women who Bill treated as if they were his children. She'd never been able to do that in all the time she spent in the fleet. Billy had come close to feeling like a son but when he died she'd worked hard to suppress the maternal feelings she'd developed for him. It was too hard to go on without doing so. Even Kara and Lee had been a challenge for her. She hadn't felt like Bill's children were her own until it was too late, until she was dying and she summoned some of her last bits of strength to wave goodbye to them. Now she had her own daughter, her own flesh and blood and everyone else seemed to have a decent relationship with the girl except for her. It had her feeling like an outsider yet again but the thing that saddened her the most was that she still wasn't sure that she wanted in.

"We never celebrated November first as her birthday, even though it's listed on her certificate as an addendum,” Ellen carried on with pride in her eyes. “Sometimes we teased her that she had two birthdays but she didn't like that. She knew exactly when she was truly born. She was such a beautiful baby," She said springing fresh tears as she remembered the first pictures she'd seen of the tiny infant. She looked down to search for some on the tablet unsure if Laura would even choose to look at them but at that moment she didn't care. She wanted to see them for herself. “Even at full gestation she was just a little peanut. She didn't even make it to six pounds before she was out of the chamber but she was strong and healthy and her lungs worked just fine. She made up for all the crying that she couldn't do the first time around," Ellen said smiling down at a photo of Katya in the lab laying in a lucite bassinet. The file caption indicated that the image was captured at only six hours out of the gestation chamber. She had a few wisps of dark hair and a still pink complexion all wrapped up in a pale blue blanket. Ellen cleared her throat doing her best to rid her voice of its trembling. Katya's baby photos made her smile but they brought up so much emotion that they never failed to make her cry as well. Now with Laura's added presence she could hardly hold back her weeping. Whether Laura understood it or not she already had a bond with Katya that Ellen was so deeply envious of. "They kept you out the entire time she was in the chamber," She started again. "They wanted your body to fully recover before they put it back into stasis and as much as I know you don't want to hear this part, they wanted to make sure they had accumulated a decent supply of milk for her first few months," Ellen admitted as she watched Laura wince. "Isakoff said he didn't want to use synthetic formula if he didn't have to," She shrugged. "His notes were full of statistics about infant brain development and maternal nutrition," Ellen shook her head as she thought of how careful the doctor had been with Katya's nutrition when he thought she was the answer to humanity’s problems. Once his opinion of her usefulness had changed he had no qualms about using the girl's diet as a test case. Ellen often mused that if the man were alive she would kill him. "Anyway by the time she was out they had what they needed and they started prepping your body to go back into your chamber just a few hours after Katya was taken out hers. The thing was," Ellen said with a shaky sigh, "The techs couldn't get her to take a bottle. She screamed her new little lungs out for hours that first day. They couldn't feed her and they couldn't soothe her. It was heartbreaking to watch. They checked her over and over to make sure she wasn't in some kind of discomfort but they couldn't find a thing wrong. She was just inconsolable," Ellen went on in a strained voice. She could recall the wrenching sounds of the distressed newborn surrounded by people who were caring for her simply because it was their job. "One of the lab techs, Nyah Kahdim; Sydra's grandmother, she came up with an idea when the staff was at their wits end. She put your scheduled submergence on hold and she had the techs sit your body up in the bed a bit. Nyah fashioned a sling around your shoulders and she nestled Katya right in. She calmed down in seconds snuggled up against you like that, Laura. Everyone in the lab tried to hold her that day and no one could get her to stop...but with your body it was almost instant. It was like she finally recognized someone. Maybe it was the sound of your heartbeat, maybe it was something else, I don't know but she was suddenly totally content. They were so relieved that she'd stopped fussing and they were so desperate to get her to eat that they even let her nurse for a while. As much as she refused that bottle she took right to you." Ellen could hear Laura's crying getting louder as her story went on and the whimpering sounds only made her cry harder herself. She hadn't planned on telling Laura this part of the story. It was just pouring out. "They let her sleep most of that first night swaddled up against you and she was as quiet and happy as a little mouse but the next morning Isakoff wanted you back in the chamber. So that's what they did. When they took her away from you she cried and cried. It was just devastating. She eventually calmed down and latched on to her bottle feedings but her first few days were really tough My heart broke when I first saw that footage. If I had any idea that she'd existed at that point I wouldn't have let her be alone.”

Ellen's words barely squeaked out of her throat as she finally passed the tablet to Laura.

Laura reached for it with a trembling hand. When she looked down at the screen she had to cover her mouth with her palm muffle the painful sob that she couldn't help but choke out.

"There isn't a day that goes by that I don't wish that Saul and I had come aboard earlier...but at the time we just felt like giving them what they needed and keeping our distance was best. If we had known why they’d done...if we had known that she existed…” Ellen cried. “We missed six precious years of her life that we wish we could get back and now those pictures and videos are all we have to fill in that void. I'm grateful to have them but believe me when I tell you that I understand how much they hurt to look at," She finished through gritted teeth as she tried to hold in her own sobs.

As Ellen looked down at the screen that Laura shakily held she was inexplicably moved to do something she'd only let herself to do once before. After the first time she’d never allowed herself to do it again no matter how much she thought she wanted to because the fact that it wasn't real was akin to near torture. Ellen focused on the screen and the tiny infant within the bassinet and tried to remember the lab as it looked over twenty years ago. Soon the tablet wasn't there. The lab lights were on full force and they shone down on the little cooing bundle wrapped in the soft blue blanket as real as anything. Ellen could see Laura beside her staring down at the small clinic crib but her face was unchanged and unknowing. She wasn't sure what drove her to do it. Maybe it was a surge of sympathy, maybe it was morbid curiosity but she reached out and touched Laura's shoulder. For a moment they both watched over the precious sight until Laura gasped in fright startling Ellen and breaking the projection.

"What the frak was that!?" Laura said, eyes wide.

Ellen panicked. She'd seen it. It worked.

"What was what?" Ellen said nervously wiping the moisture from her cheeks.

Laura shook her head and furrowed her brow in disbelief.

"It was like…I was there. I mean I was here but…" Laura hoarsely rambled.

Ellen wasn't thinking. She shouldn't have done it. It was something she'd hardly let herself experience and now she'd shared it with the last person she ever wanted to. She really didn't think Laura would be able to see it. Regret was rolling in like a thunderstorm on Scorpia. Ellen had to cover.

"What? Laura, you're not making any sense," She lied, "Are you alright?" She asked casually thumbing another tear from the corner of her eye.

Laura nodded but she wasn't alright at all. For a moment everything had felt so real, as real as it had in her dream, maybe more so. It was like the picture on the tablet had become real and transformed her surroundings. It was as if she could have reached out and felt the cold plastic of the bassinet, the soft billowy blanket and even the smooth warm cheek of the little newborn. Laura closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She'd been so uncertain of her own psyche lately that she shuttered to think of what might have driven her to such an ultra real fantasy. She squashed the thought and tried to put it out of her mind. It wasn't real, same as her dream. It didn't happen. She returned her focus to the picture on the tablet and for once her heart didn't break, it melted.

Ellen saw the look in Laura's eyes as the woman stared down at the image of her baby in utter awe. Ellen knew that look and she hated what it meant.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 119B: ASSIGNMENT; TIGH

YEAR: 2315

When a message came from Margot asking Saul to come home and sit with Katya both he and Bill moved to the Tigh cabin. By that time they'd knocked back over half the handle of vodka that Saul brought over and they were feeling brave enough to await Laura and Ellen's return together. It helped that once they got to Saul's they just switched to his supply and picked up where they left off. Margot briefly filled both men in on the earlier interaction and soon after she left Alexi showed up. He was off duty, hoping to see his wife and be fed by Ellen but he ended up mostly waiting around with the two inebriated older men. Katya had come out of her bedroom at one point surprised to find the three men there looking after her. They had been worried about how they would explain Ellen's absence to her but as it turned out she hadn't asked many questions. Within the haze that the medication induced she took their simple assurance that Ellen would be right back.

Katya spent a modest amount of time with them, somewhat enjoying their company even through the awful soreness of her head, neck and jaw. Fatigue eventually overwhelmed her once again and she returned to her room to rest with Saul's promise that he would wake her for dinner when Ellen returned.

Alexi was starving and bored. In their less than sober state Saul had taken to showing Bill an endless stream of pictures and videos of Katya as little kid on the image screen. Alexi warned them a number of times of what would happen if she came out of the room and caught thembbut they didn't seem fazed. He eventually asserted his uninvolvement for the record and let the men do as they pleased as he fiddled around with a game on his station cuff and tried to ignore his hunger.

They watched clips of Saul flying Katya around the cabin in his arms when she was around seven or eight and about half a dozen birthdays later they watched a selection from when she starred in her performance of Stravinsky's Rite of Spring when she was sixteen. Though Alexi was less than enthralled with the videos and images that he'd seen time and time again he noticed how proud the Colonel looked to show them off and how enchanted the Admiral seemed as he watched. For a moment his perpetual cynicism was curbed and he considered his wife lucky to have so many people care for her.

Eventually Saul decided to send another message to Ellen alerting her to their whereabouts. She quickly responded letting him know she was on her way home with Laura.

 

The walk back to the cabin was quiet. The only noise from either woman was the clacking of their shoes against the station floor with the occasional lingering sniffle peppered in. Their meeting had taken a gut wrenching and dangerous turn and Ellen just couldn't take being alone with Laura Roslin a moment more. After getting Saul's message she used it as an excuse to quickly end their conversation. Before putting the lab tablet back on its dock she officially cleared both Laura and Bill giving them full access to their case history. She gave Laura a brief and curt instruction on how to access it and then she hastily ushered her out of the lab.

Ellen was done. She'd told Laura everything she needed to know. She'd told and shown her more than she'd even intended to and now she was starting to rue the entire conversation. In the moment, overcome with her own emotion Ellen had done what seemed right but now as they returned home she was starting to wish that she could take some of it back. She could only hope that Laura's recently flakey emotional state would cover what happened toward the end of their talk.

Once they arrived at the hatch she said a silent prayer that Katya would be asleep and that Bill and Laura would leave quickly.

At the sound of the hatch opening Saul quickly turned off the walls image capabilities. He felt like a teenager hiding a dirty movie from his mother but he could only assume what Ellen's demeanor would be following an afternoon alone with Laura. He knew if she saw that he'd been sharing old family memories with Bill that it would only make things worse. He tossed the tablet controller to Alexi who shut it down and shoved it under a couch cushion. Bill furrowed his brow at both men letting them each know how foolish he thought their anxiety was. Alexi and Saul shared a knowing glance. Bill just didn't get it yet. When the hatch opened and Ellen came in all three men stood. She stared at the sight of them for a moment before she felt Laura come up behind her. Whatever they'd just shared together in the lab, within her home the other women's presence now just felt like an intrusion.

"Hey, honey," Saul attempted, "Laura," He greeted with a smile before noticing both sets of eyes; one blue and one green, both rimmed bright red. His stomach dropped.

Though they both looked to be in one piece Saul could see that they'd each been in tears.

"You ladies alright?" Bill asked having noticed for himself.

"We're fine," Ellen answered quickly for the both of them but the look on Laura's face and her silence told Bill otherwise. "Alexi, sweetie, I'm sorry,” Ellen said as she made her way further into the cabin. “You must be starving. Go ahead and order whatever you want for dinner," She told the marine who nodded in thanks and reached for the tablet he'd only just nervously hidden from plain few, "Where's Katya?" She finally asked looking expectantly at her husband.

She hoped going about business as usual would encourage Bill and Laura to leave.

"She's sleeping," Saul answered.

" Still ? Well did she take her pills?" Elleb asked as if trying to intentionally find fault with the way Saul had attended to her.

"She did…but not on time. She didn't want em'. It was the same song and dance from this morning. Says they're giving her nightmares," Saul shrugged, "She sat out here grimacing in pain for over an hour but she wasn't giving in," Saul explained.

"She wouldn't give in, but she was bitching about it enough," Alexi added as he went through the cabin service menu on the tablet. “She was giving us all a headache.”

"So how'd you get her to take them?" Ellen scowled walking over to where she kept Katya's prescriptions. She lifted one of the bottles and shook it for emphasis when she didn't get a prompt enough answer, " Hello ? One of you want to tell me?"

Saul shoved his hands in his pockets.

"Alexi made her a protein shake and Bill crushed them up and mixed them in," Saul admitted with half a smirk.

Ellen wasn't amused.

"You drugged her?" She accused.

"We didn't drug her, Ellen,” Saul defended. “She needed to take them. She was suffering in pain and being foolishly stubborn. We took care of it and now she's resting comfortably.”

"I used to do it with Zak when he was little," Bill attempted.

When Saul's patience with Katya was wearing thin Bill remembered a method he sometimes used when his youngest son was sick and being difficult about taking his medication. Carolanne would have Bill crush the boy’s pills and put them into ice cream or a smoothie. Zak would take it none the wiser. Bill had felt a little strange about using his trick on an adult but when he proposed it to Saul and Alexi they jumped at the idea. It was like he'd taught them a new magic trick. Now that he thought better of it he decided that had probably been a little over eager to help.

"Well she's not your responsibility, Bill and she's not a little kid," Ellen shot.

"She was acting like it, Ellen," Alexi told her from his seat on the sofa. "She was whining . We had a solution and she wouldn't take it. You know how she gets. Honestly the Admiral came up with the idea but I would have done it myself if I thought of it first," He added.

Ellen's eyes told him to hush and he swiftly continued ordering their supper.

“Well this is just great,” Ellen huffed. “She’s going to sleep straight through dinner and have nothing in her system but drugs.”

"She is not, Ellen,” Saul insisted, moving from behind the couch toward his wife.”I was just about to go wake her up.”

"I'm sorry, Ellen," Bill started.!"I thought I was helping. We only gave her half the dose if that makes you feel any better," He offered.

"See?” Saul attempted. “She'll be up in a bit, Ellen. It's fine. I'll get her in just a minute," He tried to placate her but everything he said seemed to be making it worse.

He could tell that Ellen was internally working herself into a fit, probably due to whatever happened between her and Laura. He knew there was probably little he could do to stop it.

"We should probably get going," Bill interrupted as he made his way over to where Laura stood quietly bracing herself against a chair.

She didn't look well and he was eager to get her away from the growing tension he was afraid he'd started.

"You alright?" He asked placing his hand at the small of her back.

She nodded unconvincingly.

"Don't mean to run you both off," Saul said leaving his wife and and joining their guests where they stood, "Sorry, Laura. Katya's not the easiest patient to deal with," He attempted to explain. Ellen scoffed behind him but he went on. "It's just making things around here a little hectic but maybe we can all get together tomorrow. I know the commander would love to see you both again before the Beta download and I think Bill has a few things he wants to talk to him about," Saul said with a glance in Bill's direction.

"We'll be in touch," Bill nodded evading the reference to the conversation they'd had earlier. It wasn't something he'd spoken to Laura about yet and now wasn't the time. "Goodnight, Sergeant, Ellen," Bill called earning a polite response from Alexi and a smile and wave from Ellen that was dripping with sarcasm. "Saul, you tell the Captain we hope she feels better soon," Bill told him. "And thank her again for the gift. Oh and the language lesson too," He chuckled. "Tell her I said, do svi…uh, do svi…"

"Do svidaniya, Admiral," Alexi assisted with a meager smile. "Katya’s usually a much better tutor," He joked.

"Well I'm usually a much better student," Bill laughed referencing his buzz, "You can tell her that, Sergeant and Saul, you'll give her our best?”

Earlier while Katya was still refusing to take her pills Bill had attempted to distract her from the pain as she sat with them. He asked her to translate the label on one of the bottles from her family's distillery. It turned into brief tutorial in E-Fed. Saul deemed it useless claiming the language was dead and that after fifteen years he still never knew what Katya was shouting at him but Bill humored her. She and Alexi had a good laugh as Bill struggled through the new and difficult diction.

"I'll do that," Saul assured with a smile.

When Bill went to take Laura's hand to leave she abruptly pulled it away.

"Wait a minute," She said surprising everyone in the room. She had been silent the entire time she stood there and her voice even sounded strange to her own ears as she heard it come out of her mouth."I want to talk to her," She blurted out as if she'd been holding it in the entire time.

Bill and Saul looked at her for a moment, caught off guard by the unexpected request.

" What ?" Ellen spit making her way closer to where Laura stood.

"I want to talk to her," Laura repeated with quasi confidence stepping to meet Ellen in the middle of the room. "Just for a second. I just want to wish her well myself," She attempted to persuade the other woman.

They'd just exposed so much of themselves to each other. Laura only hoped a trace of that empathy had left the lab with Ellen.

"Are you kidding? She's asleep," Ellen answered in a tone that swiftly dashed Laura's expectations of any lingering amicability.

"Saul just said that he was about to wake her up," Laura argued.

Alexi's hunger was forgotten about as he watched the increasingly hostile interaction between the two women. A look to the men by the hatch showed a set of bewildered faces unsure of how to intervene. The sappy sense of familial appreciation that had snuck up on him earlier as he watched the two men bond over Katya was being quickly snuffed out as he watched the two women begin to fight over her. This was more along the lines of what he'd expected. He should have just gone to the mess hall for dinner.

"It's her first night home, Laura,” Ellen snidely reminded her. LShe's got severe whiplash and a bad concussion. She can't remember half the night of her accident. Do you honestly think she's in any shape to speak to you?"

"Ellen she was obviously up and well enough to give three grown men each a headache this afternoon. Bill obviously spoke to her," She said turning her head to look back at him. In just the few parting words that she heard him say to Saul she’d learned that not only had Katya given him a gift but he'd spent part of the afternoon with her. He'd already gotten to say so much to the girl. She just wanted to see what it was like. "Why can't I?" She challenged looking back at Ellen.

"Maybe now isn't the best time, Laura," Bill interrupted when he finally figured that Saul wasn't going to make the attempt.

He was regretting his advice about not playing referee. Saul seemed to be taking it to heart. Despite Bill's disregard for his own new rule neither woman even acknowledged his words.

 

Ellen needed to get them out. She just wanted to be rid of Laura for the day. They had been through enough. She'd given her more than she deserved, more than she even understood. Ellen just wanted her to take it and go. Everything they'd spoken about in the lab had made her yearn to cuddle up with Katya and make the rest of the world disappear but Laura was in the damn way and she didn't seem to be moving. This had been Ellen’s biggest fear. She'd done this to herself. She’d given Laura an inch and now she wanted to take a mile. Ellen didn't know what Laura reaching out to Katya would bring but she didn't want to chance it, which meant she had to go for the jugular.

"Because, Laura, if you haven't noticed, you upset her, " She said leaning against the back of the couch. "You're just about the last person she's going to want to see after waking up groggy from a frakking spiked milkshake," Ellen added raising her voice and looking over at Bill with an accusing glance.

"Ellen, calm down ," Saul finally piped in but it did more harm than good.

" Shut up, Saul," She shouted without taking her eyes off of Laura's.

"Why don't you let Katya decide if she wants to see me for herself?” Laura posed with an exasperated shrug. “At least give her the frakking option to turn me away on her own."

"Because I know my kid, Laura. I don't have to ask her. I know exactly how she feels about you and I won't have you upsetting her recovery."

The personal jabs worked and Ellen saw anger and hurt flair in Laura's eyes but she was annoyed when she fought back instead of deciding to retreat out the door.

" Oh get off it, Ellen!” Laura shouted back. "I'm asking for two seconds of interaction and honestly I don't understand why the hell I should have to ask your permission in the first place. You coddle that girl as if she's still a frakking child. It's no wonder she's got so many maturity issues. You won't let her grow up,"Laura accused.

"What the frak would you know about it, Laura?!"

"I just know what I see, Ellen. I don't get it. You seem to think she's old enough to serve in the military, you thought she was old enough to get married and yet you still make excuses for her behavior every chance you get. You spoil her emotionally; you don't treat her like the grown woman she is. For frak sake, I've seen you at dinner! You practically force feed her like she's still a toddler!" Laura said throwing her hands up in exasperation.

She knew that she shouldn't be saying a damn thing that was coming out of her mouth but it was as if she'd been harboring it the entire time and she was just now figuring out why it all bothered her so much.

" How dare you insult my parenting? You have no idea what it's like ," Ellen started but she fumbled as she saw Katya step slowly out of the entrance of her old bedroom.

The shouting had woken her. At first she lay in bed listening but she couldn't quite hear through the dense station walls. Katya slowly got up, still sluggish from her nap and moved toward the door. When she was sure it was Ellen and Laura shouting she stepped out to see what was going on. She'd only heard the tail end of what Ellen just said for sure but whatever was going she didn't like it.

In a flash Ellen assessed the situation. No one else could see Katya where she stood and unless she made her presence known they wouldn't. She kept her eyes on Laura careful not to alert her to who was standing in the shadows behind her. She thought fast.

"I love her more than anything . I've done my godsdamn best with her and I'm proud of who she is. If you've already decided that you don't like the way she's turned out after knowing her for a week, one of the most stressful of her life, I should add, then frak you. If that's how you feel then she's lucky you weren't around to raise her. You don't have the damn patience or the frakking compassion it takes to be her mother. You don't have the right to judge her, Laura. You don't even know her."

Ellen chose each word carefully and used them as if they were a stick poking a sleeping tiger.

"I'm not judging her, Ellen. I'm judging you."

As soon as Ellen heard the sneering tone of Laura's voice she felt a sense of triumph start to sink in. She crossed her arms over her chest and let Laura sling away.

"You think I blame her for the brass behavior, the smart mouth and the bad attitude? Ellen, I feel sorry for her. She didn't have a frakking chance being raised by one of the most vulgar and manipulative women I've ever met ," Laura seethed.

In the corner of her eye Ellen saw Katya rush from out of the doorway and make a silent bee line toward them.

"Get  out."

Katya's words were low and laced with venom and the sudden sound of her voice caused Laura to whip around in surprise. She stood stunned, unable to respond in the slightest.

"I mean it," Katya repeated in a louder and more demanding tone, "Get the hell out or I will throw you out," She threatened fighting against the pain her tense posture was causing.

" Katya ," Saul called in a warning.

"Du'may prezhde chem govorit," Alexi cautioned but Katya hardly heard either of them with the rage pounding in her ears.

"I'm not kidding. Leave my family's home and do it fast. A stiff neck isn't going to stop me from helping you out the hatch. I don't know who the hell you think you are and I don't know who the hell I thought you would bebbut you don't have any right to speak to her that way. I could give a shit what you think about me anymore, but if I ever hear you even start to speak to Ellen like that again I swear I won't let you finish. Savior or not, watch me. I promise," Katya went on with each word gaining more fury than the last, " That's my mother," She shouted emphatically while painfully pointing in Ellen's direction, "And I'll defend her with my last breath. Now get out, and stay the hell away from me," She finished.

Laura's eyes were wide and immediately filled to the brim. She was totally stunned and completely mortified as she stared back at Katya's enraged glower.

Ellen's palm was at hear forehead. What had started out giving her a feeling of satisfaction had quickly taken an ugly turn and now she unexpectedly felt the weight of her choice falling atop of everyone's shoulders. She didn't know what to do. She’d thought that it would feel good to watch Katya go at Laura again, that it would be another catty scuffle like back on Beta Station but Katya's reaction had been harsh and it made Ellen's stomach roll. She didn't expect that it would make her feel this way. Less than forty minutes ago she'd been brought to tears over the memory of watching Katya as a newborn snuggling up against Laura's unknowing body in some mystical maternal connection of nature. Now she'd just helped to violently sever whatever traces of it that might have been left. She felt the surprisingly awful sting of regret but there was nothing she could do to take it back.

"Kitten, you don't mean that," She said in a pitiful attempt.

" Yes, I do, " Katya said with a stern insistence.

Her hands rushed to both sides of her neck as she felt the almost unbearable ache return with a force but she kept her stance not willing to back down from where she stood just inches away from Laura’s face.

"Look, everyone just lost their heads for a second," Bill said trying desperately to figure out a way to fix the disaster that just happened in front of him. “Maybe we should all just take a few big steps back.”

"No, Bill," Laura finally said holding her palm out as if to stave off a rabid animal. "She's right. It's alright…I'll go," She said in a mix of surrender and shock all the while holding her tears back. She couldn't believe what had just happened. Just moments ago she'd been begging to speak to Katya if only just to tell her to get well and let her know that in some way she knew who she was. She just wanted to leave the door open a crack and now she'd welded it shut on herself in a matter of seconds. She hadn't just failed at her first attempt as a mother, she'd obliterated any chance of a second shot and she just couldn't look at her daughter anymore. "I'm going," She said finally blinking and letting her tears fall after she turned.

Laura breezed by Bill and out of the hatch. She took off down the hall, forcing the marine guard to chase after her.

The silence left in the cabin was deafening. Saul wanted so badly to say something to Bill but he was at a loss. Bill's eyes found Katya's as she stood with a hand still clutched on either side of her neck. His eyes spoke only of disappointment but hers just warned him to follow suit and leave so he did. Turning without a word he left the cabin.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 126B: ASSIGNMENT; ROSLIN/ADAMA

YEAR: 2315

When Bill walked through the hatch of the cabin he was afraid of what state he might find Laura in. He was surprised to find her sitting upright on the couch attempting to use one of the cabin tablets. As he made his way closer to her he could see there were still tears quietly falling down her cheeks but he was thrown off guard by her otherwise stable appearance. He'd rushed the entire way there, afraid he was going to find her in some heap of despair but as he watched her he saw a familiarity in her sullen composure. This was how he'd expect her to react. Not the Laura who days ago was struggling just to keep some semblance of her wits about her, his Laura; the Laura who took everything in stride, the problem solver  who was stubborn in the face of every adversity, even death. The strange thing was, though she appeared stronger his heart hurt for this Laura so much more. He quietly took a seat beside her. He let a few silent moments pass as he watched her.

"Laura," He started unsure of what he would say next.

He didn't have to come with anything. She spoke over him, still busily tapping at the device she held.

"Gods, I really frakked that up for myself," She said in a strained but stronger voice than he'd expected.

Bill didn't know if she was talking to herself or if she wanted his response but he gave it to her anyway.

"I think…there's a lot of blame to be shared in what just happened over there," He said carefully as he watched her flick some tears away that were replaced by more in just seconds.

"What does that matter?" She shrugged, "Doesn't change anything."

Her hands shook as she scrolled through the hundreds of files displayed on the screen. Bill hesitated to ask what she was doing.

"Maybe not," He answered. "Doesn't mean it can't be fixed," He offered but Laura bitingly laughed at his pathetic consolation.

"As sorry as I am, Bill, I don't think there is anything for me to fix," She said with a sigh. "She's right."

Bill narrowed his eyes in confusion.

"Who's right?"

Laura leaned back and let the tablet fall to her lap.

"They both are," She said swiping away more tears as if they were a general nuisance instead of a physical expression of her emotion. "Ellen's mostly full of it but she's right about one thing. I don't have what it takes to be that girl's mother. I'm not sure I ever would have if I had the chance from the beginning,” She considered. “But I know that I can't expect to start now. I'm not sure that I even wanted to. I just wanted…well…I guess I'm not sure what I was hoping to accomplish back there but I frakked it up and Katya's right, Bill. I need to stay away from her," Laura ended in a near whisper.

Bill scowled and shook his head in defiance.

"You can't let anything Ellen said get to you, Laura. She's obviously overwrought with envy. She's not even hiding it! I've heard some stupid things come out of that woman's mouth in all the time I've known her but none of it has ever sounded as wrong to me as that did. She doesn't get to assess your possible capabilities as a mother. You were right when you called her manipulative. She is! She always has been! She just said those things to get you to believe them. Don't tell me it's working?"

The evening had gone so wrong. Bill so enjoyed the time he spent with Katya that afternoon. He loved seeing all of the photos and videos that Saul showed him. He was hopeful that soon he'd be able to share them with Laura and that eventually they might both spend some time with their daughter together.

Everything crumbled so quickly.

"I know why she said them, Bill. I can see Ellen's motives just fine. It doesn't make her wrong. I wanted Katya to make a decision for herself and she did. She made it for the both of us. And even though it was fueled by something I wish hadn't happened I think she made the right choice."

"I don't believe that, Laura,” Bill grimaced. “She was upset and defensive. I don't think she even meant what she said. Listen to me; Saul told me that she grew up totally enamored with you, with the very idea of you. He said that as a little girl she wanted to learn everything there was to know about you, about both of us; every story Saul had and every detail he could give her. He said she wanted nothing more than to know her parents, her real parents. He told me the that she grew up just wanting her mother , Laura and that's you ," Bill insisted inciting Laura's tears to flow heavier than before. "There may be a lot in the way now. We've both seen kids living in hopeless wartime, especially the ones who go out and fight on the front lines. There's a bitterness and a reckless nature that comes over them after a while. I see that in Katya. But I also see that she's still not far away from being that little girl who drove Saul crazy with questions just trying to get a picture in her head of what you might be like. She couldn't have truly meant what she said, Laura. There's no way," He told her desperately trying to convince her that it was true, that there was hope.

"If she didn't mean it then she should have, Bill. I've obviously disappointed her expectations. I think she made that pretty clear," Laura said with a hard swallow. "I won't stop you from trying to have a relationship with her. She obviously wants one with you but…I'm just making her miserable. I can see that she has enough problems without me inserting myself in her life. I won't do that when I'm not sure we could offer each other anything else but more grief."

Bill moved closer to her and put his arm around her shoulders.

"Laura, you're basing that on a few unfortunate interactions. That's not enough to give up."

Laura picked the tablet up and finally accessed the folder she was looking for.

"I'm not giving up, Bill. I didn't really try. I'm just letting her be. She has a mother. She loves her. There isn't a place for me and I'm not sure I could fill it if there was. Today in the lab Ellen gave me all the answers I wanted but Katya just gave me the only one I really needed," She said finally bringing up the file that she’s been searching looking for. It was the last picture that Ellen had showed her. The one from Katya's first day out of the gestation chamber where she was swaddled in a light blue blanket. It was the picture that had incited her powerful hallucination in the lab. For a moment Laura was afraid it might happen again but she looked down anyway. This time the melting tenderness was mixed with an agonizing sense of loss.

Bill squeezed Laura's shoulders as he saw the image on the screen. He hadn't expected it. He never imagined that was what she'd been searching for on the tablet. Even with all the videos and images Saul had shown him, he'd never seen a photo of Katya that young but he was sure it was her.

Laura's throat seized up for about the tenth time that day but she fought through the pain and swallowed the lump down hard.

"Gods, Bill you don't know what they did to me to make her," She cried through a strangled breath.

She didn't blame Katya for it. Ellen had been right about that as well. They were both victims. Maybe it was part of the anger that Katya so obviously carried within her. Maybe they could both forget more easily once they weren't there to remind each other.

Bill's heart nearly stopped when he heard what she'd said. He didn't know the details yet but her voice made him shudder at the thought. Bill remembered the night Saul first told him. He remembered him saying that Ellen had accused the doctors of being clinical rapists. The words were only now starting to sink in.

"I'm so sorry, Laura. For both of you," He took her hand and held it tight.

He didn't know what else to say.

"Bill, I don't want you to think that has anything to do with why I'm deciding to listen to her. That's not it. I promise," She insisted looking down and shedding a few tear drops onto the screen, "This little baby may have belonged to me once but she was taken away a long time ago. Now she's a grown woman…and she doesn't belong to me anymore. I've never been able to give her anything . Even her life wasn't my choice to give but I can give her what she wants now."

Bill couldn't hold back his own tears as he looked at the infant on the screen. His heart broke for all three of them, for his little family that never was.

"Laura,” He cried in a strained whisper as they watched the screen together, "Please don't tell me you can look at this picture and still let her go," He stopped to fight the crack in his voice that he knew was coming. "That's our baby," He said pressing his lips to her temple.

Laura shook her head.

"She was."

Chapter 18: Chapter 18

Chapter Text

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 119B: ASSIGNMENT; TIGH

YEAR: 2315

"You two are going to fix this!"

" Saul ," Ellen started to answer but Katya cut her off.

"Fix what? What's there to fix?"

Katya squinted her eyes and cautiously took her hands from her neck to cross them in front of her chest. She watched Saul’s face turn a bright red in her defiance.

"You just sent that women running out of this cabin in tears!" He angrily accused.

" So? She deserved it! Are you kidding me? You heard what she said to Aunt Ellen, what she called her! I don't understand why the hell you didn't do it first! She's your wife! "

" Katya ," Alexi cautioned, but his warning went ignored.

"And Laura Roslin is your mother!" Saul shouted.

He knew that Katya would be infuriated by his statement and that it would hurt Ellen in the process. It wasn't that he wanted to upset them. They just both needed to hear it.

"No!” Katya yelled stomping her foot and clenching her fists like an insolent child, "No she's not! Stop saying that! I don't care who she is! How could you defend the way she was speaking to Ellen? "

"I'm not defending her!” Saul insisted. “When she said all that I wanted to pop her in the mouth just as much as you did!"

" So what the hell are you yelling at me for!? " Katya said flailing her arms in a way that her doctor would find abhorrent to her recovery.

Ellen's worried hands reached out to calm her but in her rage Katya hardly felt the other woman's palms holding her steady her at the elbows.

" Because, this isn't right!" Saul answered, "You came in here at the tail end of a fight you had no part of. Laura and Ellen can handle each other! You had no right to kick that woman out of here! This is still my cabin, little girl, and you don't get to say who stays and who goes!"

"A fight I had no part of? Seems like Roslin was badmouthing me just as much as Ellen! Besides, I thought this was supposed to by my home!" Katya yelled out, shrugging Ellen's hands away in frustration and glaring at her. "What? Now that my so called real parents are here I'm not part of this family anymore?"

"Katya, of course this is your home.” Ellen answered. “Don't be silly. We'll always be your family.”

She attempted to reach out for Katya's arm once again but the girl tugged it away.

"Then why should I let anyone speak to you that way, especially in our own home? Why should any of us?!" Katya's temper was going molten. She couldn't stop it. Her family had been insulted and she never took that lightly, " That bitch! I can't fucking stand her!" She nearly screeched in outrage.

" Watch your mouth young lady! " Saul barked.

Katya's hands rushed to either side of her head. It was throbbing in pain. She couldn't understand the way the Tighs were reacting. They were both acting completely different than they ever would have in a situation like this. They'd all come to each other's defense at one time or another. Katya defended Ellen's reputation more than enough around Alpha. She'd defended Saul and Ellen both when ignorant people claimed the Cylon couple were just a pair of over developed bots. She’d taken up for them when people said they had too much power and control within the system. Likewise Saul and Ellen had chased off more than a handful of bullying children through the years for teasing Katya about being Colonial or calling her creation a mistake. They made sure any other child who dared to make her feel somehow less than human wouldn't dare do it twice. They'd all taken up for each other more times than they could recall.They were a family. They protected and defended each other. Katya didn't understand why things were changing now.

"What's going on here?" She implored. Her eyes watered but by habit she fought to keep them back. She was almost too angry to cry. "I thought we were supposed to watch out for each other. So…so...Laura Roslin can come into your home and just say whatever she wants to your wife, but suddenly your own kid can't swear or even have an damn opinion? Well fuck that Uncle Saul!"

Saul clenched his fists.

"We are supposed to watch out for each other, Katya but I wouldn't let you speak to Ellen that way and so I won't let you speak to Laura like that either!"

"It's not even remotely the same!" Katya shouted with a roll of her eyes.

She looked to Alexi for backup but as usual he was doing his best to stay out of their family dysfunction.

Ellen's emotions had been wavering since Katya's outburst at Laura. Things happened the way she thought she wanted yet it just left her feeling awful. She loved that Katya had come to her defense. Hearing her claim her as her mother had been just what she wanted but the rest was way too much. She was torn. She knew that Saul was right. She agreed that Katya had had gone overboard when she went after Laura but what she was saying in her defense made sense. Ellen was irritated that Saul hadn’t defended her in the least. They'd always taught Katya that defending one another was the right thing to do. It was no wonder she was confused. Katya had just witnessed Saul standing by as someone insulted them in ten different ways. Ellen couldn't say that she was surprised at her husband. Katya had never been around to witness the power Bill Adama held over the their relationship.

"It's Bill," Ellen said in accusation. "Bill Adama is back and now everyone is second fiddle. If that means defending the Old Man's woman over his own, so be it," She shrugged.

 

"That's not true, Ellen," Saul gruffly contended.

"Oh the frak it's not, Saul. It always has been. I'm used to it. It's fine, it is, but let's not play innocent here," Ellen accused.

"Who's the one that's playing innocent, Ellen? Why don't you tell Katya the reason that woman was so upset in the first place?" He taunted.

Though Ellen was sure Saul had no true idea just how much she'd contrived the situation leading up to the unfortunate outburst she still felt her face go flush.

Katya interrupted their banter with fist to the back of the sofa

"I don't care!"

Her physical outburst caused Alexi to move closer to the verbal crossfire that he'd been trying to avoid. He wouldn't let his wife hurt herself because of some rage filled tantrum. He backed off when she started shouting again.

" Whatever it is it doesn't excuse anything Laura said, Uncle Saul! Ugh! I hate this! I hate them ! Ever since they got here my life sucks ! You two are always fighting! You never fought this much before they came into the picture! Now you're always mad at me and Aunt Ellen's always mad at you! They're ruining our family! I can't believe I ever wanted them here!"

Saul shook his head in a mix of frustration and disappointment.

"Katya, stop it. You know you don't mean that," Ellen told her earnestly.

There she went wavering again. It was enough to make her sea sick and Katya looked completely bewildered by her behavior.

"The hell I don't! You keep saying that. I'm defending you , Aunt Ellen! Why won't you back me up?" Katya said straining her neck as she shouted.

She grabbed tightly to each side of her collarbone and slunk over a kitchen chair slumping into it with a sob.

"Katya, calm down ,” Alexi shouted moving closer to where she now sat resting her head on the kitchen table. “You're gunna hurt yourself!"

With her head on her arm the tears she'd been holding in started to run free.

"He's right,” Ellen said rushing to fill a glass. “Stay there. I'm gunna get you some water.”

"I don't want fucking water!" Katya shouted stopping Ellen in her tracks, "I want you two to act normal ! I feel like I'm going crazy," She cried folding her arms on the table top and burying her head inside like she was trying to hide inside of a self made hole.

The medication and the stress were catching up to her and the anger fueled burst of adrenaline was fading, leaving her aching and overwhelmed.

"That's enough. I'm taking her back to our cabin," Alexi announced as he watched Katya wincing in a mix of pain and distress. “Margot’s aboard. She can sit with her tomorrow morning while I'm on duty. Get your things, Yekaterina," He instructed.

He was fed up with the entire scene. He knew having Roslin and Adama there would come to this. He knew they would bring nothing for his wife other than disappointment and turmoil and he didn't care for the way the Tighs were handling it.

" No! " Ellen abruptly protested,"She's not going anywhere ! She was released into my care dammit!" She said with a finger nearly shoved up in the towering marines face.

Alexi had to hold back the remark that was about to shoot out of his mouth. He wouldn't give any credence to anything Roslin said but in the moment he felt it difficult not to agree with her assessment of how they all treated Katya, especially Ellen. The woman had such a powerful attachment to her and it went both ways. It was something Alexi thought might fade after Katya moved out of the Tigh's cabin but over the last six months there wasn't much difference and the Roslin and Adama situation had only strengthened it. He supposed they were all guilty of indulging Katya to some degree, but Ellen took the cake. The more she treated Katya like a child the more Katya acted like one.

"Staying here is making her worse, Ellen,” Alexi argued. "She's supposed to be resting and taking it easy. Look at her! She's red in the face, out of breath and in tears. How the hell am I supposed to feel comfortable leaving her here? If Xao or Tawny saw her right now they'd have her back in the ward!"

"I'm not going back there!" Katya immediately moaned into her arms.

For a moment she was seized with panic over the thought that they might actually readmit her. She'd just gotten out of there and she'd fight them if they tried to make her return. It had become the setting for more than one of her recent drug induced nightmares and she would do whatever she could to stay clear of it.

"Maybe it's best she goes back," Saul interjected from where he paced angrily by the hatch. “You’re right, Lex. She’s in pain and out of control. Maybe they’ll give her something to relax.”

Katya was about to scream at Saul for his implied threat but Ellen beat him to it.

"No, no! She's gunna calm down," She proclaimed holding her palm out as if to stave both men off. She forced herself to speak in a lower and more composed tone, "We're all gunna calm down. You're not taking her anywhere, Alexi.”

"Would you both stop talking about me like I'm not here?! " Katya sobbed.

"Well then you tell us, Katya,” Alexi told her, trying to be the voice of reason, "We all just want what’s best for you. I think you should come home with me but it’s your call. Where do you want to stay tonight?"

"I…I don't know, dammit! Stop it! Stop making me choose. I'm not choosing! " She yelled out, pressing her warm cheek to the cool table top and covering her head with her hands.

The awful feeling of being forced to make a decision was suddenly flooding her again and she'd refuse to do it no matter what. Her heart was thumping on overtime and her breath was becoming noticeably more labored to the point of alarming everyone else. Tantrum or not, they all rushed to her aide.

As Ellen rushed to retrieve the forgotten glass of water Saul hurried to the beverage cart.

Alexi moved to Katya's side. He brushed her hair off of the back of her neck and tried to blow cool air onto her overheated skin. He stopped when Ellen and Saul each sat a glass on the table; hers filled with ice water and the Colonel's a half shot of whisky.

"Saul, what the hell?" Ellen scowled.

"What? She needs to calm down," He defended.

"She can't drink with the meds she's on! Is that your solution to everything?"

"It's usually yours!" He accused.

" Shut up! " Katya screamed at the top of her lungs.

They were all grateful her volume was still muffled by the cover of her arms.

" This has gone on far enough! " Saul growled, "Listen to me!" He shouted with a fist to the table top, "Katya, you look at me," He ordered waiting until she brought her head up and opened her eyes, "I'm sorry. Okay? Ellen’s right. We're all gunna calm down now," He promised in a more composed tone, "We're gunna get through this; me, you and Ellen. Lex too. All of us as a family. I promise, kit. I swear things won't be like this forever…But right now I just want you to find a way to make things right. That's all. That’s it.”

 

Katya stared down at the water Ellen had brought. She stuck her index finger out to the cold glass and ran it over its smooth clammy surface. For a moment it reminded her of when she used to drag her fingertips over the chilled sides of stasis chambers. She was starting to miss those days. They were filled with feelings of longing and of doubt but they were quiet and familiar and all she really knew.

"I just don't get it, Uncle Saul," She said peering up at him with reddened eyes. "I wouldn't let anyone speak to you like that either. Never. Not even behind your back. I never have," She told him shakily, propping her exhausted head up on her elbows.

"Katya, sticking up for each other is one thing. Laura may have deserved a few words slung back at her but you just ordered her out of your life just days after she learned who you even were. You can't do that. We can't do that. We all have to find a way to live with these people. Like it or not, they're part of our family now. You both need to understand that. You hear me Ellen? Both of you.”

Ellen closed her eyes tightly as if his words physically hurt. Despite her complex emotions on the matter she couldn't waver any longer. She was confusing, Katya and she couldn't stand that she’d had any part in upsetting her so deeply.

"He's right, kitten," She answered as she opened her eyes and looked down at Katya.

"What?" Katya asked, stunned to hear Ellen’s agreement.

"He's right," She repeated.

"Sergeant, come with me," The Colonel ordered abruptly.

"What? Why?" Katya scowled.

"Sir, I'm not sure I should leave, Katya," Alexi considered.

"Yes, you should. I'm taking you to get a little something to eat and a whole lot to drink," He brusquely informed the young man. "You two, you stay here and figure out how you're going to fix your mess," Saul instructed. As long as he had Ellen on board for the moment he needed to take swift advantage of it. He knew that Katya would never listen to anyone but her." C'mon Alexi," He called.

"Katya, I…"

"Just go eat, Alexi," She said sitting up and shaking her head.

"I'll come back later to check on you," He offered.

He hated to leave her but the Colonel's commanding instruction and the lure of escaping the tension and finally getting a meal was winning out.

"If you're drunk don't bother," She warned.

"Then he won't bother," Saul answered for him.

Alexi shook his head at her denying Saul's proxied threat.

"I mean it you two," Saul reiterated, looking toward his wife and daughter, "When I said I wasn't going to help make things any harder than they already were I meant every word. All three of you ladies just made things a whole lot harder for yourselves. Now, you two can't control what that woman does but you can help each other figure out how the hell you're gunna go on with the rest of your lives without being miserable just because she exists," He said turning from that hatch, "Like it or not Laura's here. We brought her here. And were lucky as frak she is here, 'cause without her, we're all frakkin' dead," He harshly reminded. "Sergeant, let's go," He said as he hastily opened the hatch and left.

"Yea teh'byah lublu, Yekaterina," Alexi called softly as he followed the colonel out of the hatch and closed it behind them.

There was a long silence as Katya let her head slump back onto the table.

Ellen stared down at her unsure of what to do or say.

"Kit, let me order you something to eat," She attempted.

"I don't want anything."

"You need to eat something," Ellen told her as she started to tap on her cuff.

"Would you stop treating me like a freaking baby? I'm not hungry!"

Ellen dropped her wrist at Katya's shrill words. They stung and she hated that they echoed Laura's earlier accusations. Katya was in a bad place. Ellen had helped her get there and now she needed to help her find a way out of it. If that meant fixing what she'd just done then that was what she would do. She picked up the half shot of whisky that still sat on the table and knocked it back with a short gulp. She rested the small glass back on the table in front of Katya and took a deep breath that stung her throat with a mix of liquor and dread.

"Sweetie, I think Uncle Saul is right. You and me have to talk."

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 126B: ASSIGNMENT; ROSLIN/ADAMA

YEAR: 2315

Once Laura was asleep Bill stayed awake and poured through everything he could find in the files she'd accessed on their cabin tablet. The one little image he'd seen of their daughter from when she was only hours old had driven his inquisitiveness to a maddening height. He spent half the night scouring through all of their medical records. He wanted to know everything that Laura knew. Whatever burden she now held on her shoulders he wanted to carry it too. It was only fair. He needed to do it. He had to know. Not just to satisfy his curiosity but so that he would know how to help her.

Bill was torn as he read through case files and watched recorded footage. He hated what was done to Laura. Everything inside him wished there was still someone alive who'd laid a hand on her in the process, just so he could kill them himself. But there was still the other part of him that was captivated by the fact that Laura bore his child. At first he felt it perverse that the feeling hadn't disappeared with the evidence of what had been done to her body.  Though he was conflicted Bill decided eventually that finding some beauty in the otherwise abhorrent event was important. To see his daughter's creation and birth as a total abomination wasn't fair to her or to Laura. Behind the overly clinical means and the dark deviant overcast there was still a little miracle that occurred, at least as far as he was concerned. When Bill saw the first photos and videos of Laura's body lying totally unaware of the tiny life that thrived inside her rounded tummy he lost his breath completely. For a moment he even panicked, afraid he might not be able to catch it. The sight was wholly devastating and yet fascinatingly beautiful. Laura's body was so young, so angelic. It had a presence and a glow all its own, even without her spirit inhabiting it. He wished like hell that they could have felt the joy of knowing their love created something that was fully and totally theirs. He found himself going over old daydreams from the times he'd sat by Laura's beside in Sick Bay on Galactica and tailoring them to include the daughter they'd just discovered. He imagined a life where they could have conceived their baby through passion and adoration instead of with needles and test tubes. He imagined a life where Laura would know the feeling of carrying and protecting their baby inside her instead of being an empty vessel used like a glorified incubator. He imagined a life where he could have held her hand in comfort and support as she struggled bravely to bear their child instead of it being coldly taken from her by strangers as her body lay there vacant and alone. He imagined their baby was born into their loving arms instead of in a cold aseptic laboratory to an opportunist disguised as a foster father. Most of all he imagined a life where they raised their daughter together. He dreamed they lived on Caprica, on Tauron, on his old fantasy of Earth, tucked inside their ever elusive little cabin; anywhere his family would be safe, anywhere not under the constant threat of a looming enemy. He imagined Laura holding a happy and healthy newborn and then he thought of her playing with a toddler in pigtails on the sandy banks of a crystal clear lake as he beamed proudly nearby. He dreamed of getting to watch their daughter laugh and cry and grow and learn all with Laura by his side. That life never was and it never would be but the little fantasy got him through the night as he learned every shaking reality. It was when he saw the last footage of Laura with the baby before she went back into stasis that Bill finally lost it. Watching their poor orphan child nursing at Laura's idle form was one of the most devastating sights he'd ever seen and at the same time one of the most beautiful. Laura had been wrong when she said that she'd never been able to give their daughter anything. Though she didn't know it at the time her body had comforted and nurtured their baby on the first night of her life when no one else could. It was their first and last physical contact; their first and last interaction as mother and daughter and neither remembered it. It was all so tragically sad and unfair. When Bill finally calmed himself he climbed into bed with Laura. He clutched her from behind in an embrace charged with an onslaught of emotions. He wanted to forever protect and comfort the body he held in his arms; a body that had been unknowingly debased and used. But he also wanted to revel in his complete adoration for it. He wanted to honor it, all that it had endured, the soul it held now and the life it once brought forth. It humbled him. She humbled him. When Bill settled into place he covered Laura's middle with his warm and vigilant palm and imagined what it would have been like to know their child was there. When he felt her stir he became anxious remembering how she'd cast his hand aside the last time he'd touched her in such a way. He was sure that she was awake and he was relieved and grateful when she didn't attempt to shun his gentle caress. Instead he was pleasantly surprised when she vaguely acknowledged it.

"Do you think we knew about her?" She asked in a soft and sleepy voice.

 

"What do you mean?" Bil whispered behind her ear, glad she wasn't turning his gesture away or fighting to ignore it's meaning.

"Wherever we were before this…I don't remember it much anymore…just the feelings and those are fading every day," She told him.

"I know what you mean," He agreed.

"But I wonder...I wonder if we were aware of her. If we somehow knew she was here," She spoke into her pillow.

"I can't remember that either, Laura."

It was still so strange to be left with only vague emotions from their last state of being. They couldn't remember details. All they had were feelings and subtle notions of peace, understanding and love. Laura was so devastated when they were taken from it. They had been content there. Could they have possibly been so happy there if they'd had any notion of their daughter's existence? Bill doubted that they could have had any idea that the child existed but he decided not to voice his assessment. He hated to discourage her.

"The old myths described the afterlife as an all knowing existence,” Laura went on.” “It was supposed to be a place where souls didn't just reunite but looked after the ones they left behind.”


Her voice had gained a little more clarity and balance and Bill found it encouraging.

"But we didn't leave her behind, Laura. She came into this world long after we were on the other side.”

"I know that,” She sighed. “It's just…if her soul had any connection to either one of ours...then maybe somehow we knew she was born. Maybe somehow we understood that a part of each of us had come together again in this existence in some strange way."

Bill squeezed her tightly. It was a nice thought but he remembered where they'd been even less than Laura did and he had no answer for her.

"I don't know, Laura. I don't think we'll know that til' we're back there one day…Why do you ask?" He said kissing her neck and thumbing below her navel.

She shrugged in his arms.

"Sometimes I get feelings like…I remember. I've been dreaming of things I should have no recollection of."

Her confession was heartbreaking but he was glad that she was opening up to him, even if it was just a little and even if it was under the cloak of night while she was half asleep.

"I went through those files, saw the videos, Laura. They're all pretty powerful. I'm not surprised you're dreaming about them."

"But I'm not dreaming about them. I've never seen them. I didn't want to look. Ellen just told me everything herself," Laura explained." The dreams I'm talking about didn't just start tonight. They started days ago, when you first told me, and the feelings…I think they may have even started before that," She confessed.

Bill was somehow alarmed when he heard that Laura hadn't seen the records and footage he'd just poured through. When she told him how to access it all he’d just assumed that she'd seen it too. Now he knew he'd seen far more than she had herself.

"Could be that your mind is trying to fill in what it missed while your body was here without it," He suggested. He was uncertain of how to answer her. He wasn't sure what she was getting at and even worse he was afraid none of it would matter if he couldn't somehow convince Laura and Katya to give each other another chance. "Laura, would knowing that we were aware of her before change anything for you?"

She was quiet for a while and Bill listened to her breathing, relieved that it stayed even and controlled.

"No…I'm just…” She hesitated. “I was just thinking."

Bill thought for a moment wishing he had something comforting to say to her. He hated to be dismissive of her feelings but being too sentimental would just be rubbing salt into a still raw wound.

"Laura…after you have a child…after you know that feeling…it's kind of hard to remember what it was like before they got there. They sort of invade your every thought, your way of thinking, your perspective. It's just something that happens. It's just the way it is," Bill explained.

Laura nodded. She supposed she shouldn't trust herself right now and the idea of the false memories being somehow real was almost torture anyway.

Bill knew what it was like to be a parent far better than she did. She'd have to trust in him instead of driving herself mad. She supposed his simple explanation was enough for her to rest for now.

"Maybe that's the reason then," She conceded.

"Maybe."

Neither spoke after that. Laura allowed herself to fall back to sleep unafraid of her dreams. The uncertain memories and feelings were all she'd have of their child now. She didn't mind them as much anymore.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 119B: ASSIGNMENT; TIGH

YEAR: 2315

Ellen sat opposite Katya at the kitchen table. She'd taken out a bowl of red grapes from the cooler hoping Katya would pick at them enough to raise her blood sugar. She was relieved to see her absentmindedly pop a few in her mouth as she sat there pouting. For a while they stewed in tainted silence. Katya didn't attempt to speak and she intentionally averted all eye contact. When Ellen told her they needed to talk she'd clammed up.

"I'm sorry that I've been fighting with Uncle Saul so much," Ellen finally started once she thought Katya's breathing had evened out. She'd grown tired of their useless standoff and she didn't want to waste any time. "We shouldn't be doing that. We promised you before the resurrection that we'd all help each other get through this and we aren't doing a good job."

Katya grimaced at Ellen's apology.

" He's starting it. Nothing I do is right all of a sudden and he's always yelling at you. It's his fault."

"No," Ellen shook her head, "No baby, that's not true. Maybe it seems like it is but it's not. Saul's been doing a hell of a lot better with all of this than I have. Maybe you haven't seen it but I've started the better half of our arguments lately," She admitted.

"You just said it yourself; Bill Adama is more important to him. Makes a lot of sense now," Katya shrugged and then cringed at the pain it caused her. She kept forgetting not to move that way.

"Katya, I won't try to deny the influence that Bill has over your uncle. I meant what I said. But that doesn't mean Bill is more important to Uncle Saul than you…or me. He loves us both so much . It’s just…he wants to be proud of us too," Ellen tried to reason.

She'd been so angry at Saul the past few days and it was hardly his fault. She'd seen how precariously he'd been walking the line between being there for his family and being there for Bill and Laura. She understood what he was trying to accomplish but he was the easiest target for her anger and resentment. He always had been and he'd always taken it. When they first came to Alpha, Saul had been the one to insist that they adopt and care for Katya. It hadn't taken much convincing on his part but even so, he had given her their little girl and he'd given her the family they always wanted. Ellen knew that she should be grateful for it; for all the years they had together but she couldn't shake the feeling that it was all somehow coming to an end. She was afraid that what her husband and finally given her was now fading away. Her instincts, ever faulted, told her to blame him for it instead of showing him that she was thankful for the precious time that they’d already had. Ellen knew that it was just another negative impulse that she'd have to start resisting for the sake of her family. "Even though sometimes I hated it, Bill Adama always brought out the best in Saul. Whenever Bill was in his life he was more responsible, more honorable and he gave his all to do his best. I was always jealous of that instead of grateful. I guess I wished I could have been the one to inspire that side of him but so often I inspired just the opposite. Being around Bill just makes Uncle Saul want to be the best man he can be and now he wants his family to do the same."

"Well our best isn't good enough for him anymore," Katya bitterly challenged.

Ellen looked down at the table with a sigh.

"Katya, neither one of us is doing our best. I think you know that," Ellen told her. "If I can admit that, then so can you."

Katya put her head down on the table again and kneaded at the back of her neck with her knuckle. Her sunken posture was causing her a good deal of pain.

Ellen shook her head.

"C'mon, kit. Go lay down on my bed. I'll rub your back," She said getting up from the table.

Katya reluctantly rose out of her seat and slowly made her way across the cabin toward Saul and Ellen’s bedroom.

"I'll be there in just sec," Ellen called after her.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR C

MILITARY STATION EXCHANGE UNIT

SENSHI OFFICER'S CLUB

YEAR: 2315

"Hiroshi, when you get a sec, bring another for my son-in-law," Saul said gesturing to Alexi's empty glass.

His request gained him a quick nod from the busy bartender.

"Nah, Colonel, I really shouldn't," Alexi protested with his mouth stuffed with a bite of his second Beta Burger.

"Nonsense. Drink up, Sergeant. Don't you worry about what's waiting for you back there. You just enjoy a night out," Saul insisted taking a sip of his own recently refreshed drink. "Gods know we could both use it."

Besides the station's cabin delivery service Senshi was the only place that served alcohol on the entire military side of the station. It was also the only place to get a decent meal outside of the mess hall without traveling to the civilian corridors. The bar was decently crowded with off duty military patrons. Their voices melded with the piped in music creating a hum that made it hard to tell where one sound ended and the other began. A few image screens flashed with video games being played badly by drunken soldiers; their friends nearby cheering and jeering. A handful of inebriated young couples held each other swaying to the barely there music on the tiny area that passed for a dance floor. In a far off corner at a high top table sat Margot and Sydra enjoying the tail end of their date. They were both smiling and nursing their drinks while they passed a vaporizer back and forth. Both Saul and Alexi noticed them when they first came in but neither made mention of it. Instead they each took turns watching the couple with quick glances and discreet side views, watchful of Margot out of sheer habit. Only a few times did she catch Alexi's protective observance and eventually she sent over a cuff message with a warning to both men to quit their unwanted patrol.

When the bartender sat Alexi's second drink down he hesitated.

"Just drink it, kid," Saul said chortling at the younger man's apprehension. He knew that Alexi was thinking about Katya's warning. He found it funny that the large and menacing marine could be so intimidated by a woman who Saul still thought of as his little girl. He was on his third drink and he wanted company. He was happy when Alexi picked up the glass. "That-a-boy," He encouraged, "Wait, wait! What do ya say we toast on this one?"

Alexi squinted at Saul's drunken suggestion. The man had been drinking most of the day with the Admiral. He’d sobered up long enough to fight with his wife and daughter and now he was starting up all over again. Alexi was starting to wonder if he'd be dragging the Colonel all the way home. He flashed back to the last time he had the pleasure of doing so on the eve of his own wedding.

"Toast to what, Sir?"

"Uh, to…Ellen and Katya…and they day they finally drive us both frakkin' crazy," Saul said raising his glass with a grin.

He clinked his drink against Alexi's before taking a large swig.

Alexi could only roll his eyes and follow suit.

"I'm still not sure we should have left them alone back there," The marine said pushing away his now empty plate.

"I am. Just trust me."

"Ya know, Colonel, I just don't get it," Alexi started. "I know that Katya was being a brat, that's nothing new but what's the big deal? Why force that Roslin woman into her life if all it's doing is bringing out the worst in her?"

Saul moved his jaw back and forth feeling it pop and then took another sip.

"For the same reason I would have made damn sure you let Caprica into yours. She's her mother," He said setting his glass down.

Alexi winced at the arbitrary explanation.

"But what's that mean? It's just a word in this case. You're calling these men our fathers and these women our mothers and you're just assigning them a title. They never knew us and they sure as hell never wanted us. They're bodies were used to make us but that doesn't make them our mothers, Colonel. Trying to get us to think of them that way is causing more harm than good on both ends. The four of us have spent our entire military careers trying to make up for the disappointment we wound up to be to the project and now we're being reminded of how unnecessary and foolish our creations really were by facing these women. It's not fair.," Alexi said letting some of his internal frustrations out as the booze started to kick in.

The colonel shook his head.

"You know I like you better when you stick to being a stoic mute," Saul groused and took another swig. “It’s not a just a word and it's not just a title, Alexi," Tigh's eye narrowed as he swiveled on his barstool to face the young man." I damn sure know it wouldn't be to your mother. You never knew the woman so don't assume what she would or wouldn't want. You have no idea. You'd be lucky to know that woman, no matter what you think you know about her," He said turning back in his seat to face his drink.

"The woman that destroyed an entire civilization?" Alexi scoffed.

He saw the Colonel’s posture change and immediately regretted his words. Had the booze not loosened his lips he would have never said it. He knew after years of missteps how oddly Saul acted whenever Caprica was mentioned.

"No," Saul started in a suddenly low but dark voice, "The woman who learned from her mistakes and tried desperately to right them; misguided as she was. The one who felt so deeply privileged to feel every emotion that she experienced, even the ones that hurt because she understood that they were the only things that truly made her a person. The woman who was brave and selfless and who saved me in my darkest time. That's the woman you'd be godsdamned lucky to know, damn it. And you can bet your frakking hybrid ass that we're all worse off now that she won't be brought back," Saul said with a near growl. His shoulders slumped and when he continued so did his tone, "You know I never loved a woman more than I love Ellen...but I loved your mother. I know Katya has told you so you can just lose that clueless look of yours, Sergeant. I respected Caprica and I appreciated her for who she was and what she taught me. As much as her life was filled with violence and resentment she eventually found that all she really wanted was to love and be loved…purely and unconditionally," Saul said glancing back toward his drink. "She almost had it too. Almost. I watched her eyes as she lost her only chance, so don't you tell me what she'd want, 'cause I know," He finished in a low and solemn voice.

Hearing the Colonel talk that way about his birth mother gave Alexi the chills. It was so much easier to think of her as an empty body or at the most; a programmed Cylon soldier whose only purpose in life was destruction. To think of her as a living person who at one time felt love, joy, pain and loss just unnerved him.

"I'm sorry Colonel. You're right. She isn't here and so I shouldn't judge her," Alexi relented. "I just don't think we should be forcing anyone. It isn't fair. Besides, Katya and I, we just don't need another set of parents. We had our fathers…and we have Ellen…and you, Colonel."

Saul almost seemed amused at the statement but when he focused on Alexi again his expression changed. For a moment Alexi felt like the one eyed man was looking right through him.

"You know sometimes I look at you, Alexi, and all I see is her. I try to block out the fact that half your frakkin' DNA came from that lousy little son of a bitch and I wonder if our son would have looked anything like you," Saul shook his head and turned away. "If Bill Adama and Laura Roslin want to know their daughter they should get the chance to," He said finishing his drink.

Alexi did his best to shrug off the uneasy exchange.

"You know Katya, Colonel. She always comes around...eventually. And Ellen, she's just…she's so attached to her…They both just need time," Alexi shrugged.

"We may not have time, Sergeant," Saul said glancing quickly over at Margot who now had her arm around a smiling Sydra. "We all need to experience as much of each other as we can before it's too late. You never know how long you'll have with someone."

Something about Saul's words made Alexi feel strange. He noticed the Colonel's attentions were back on Margot and he remembered the news Tigh said she'd shared with him that morning. They spoke about the possible security issues earlier with the Admiral and only now did Alexi recall the way it seemed to have the two older men so unsettled. The thought mixed with the stiff drink and a half in his gut. He suddenly had a bad feeling.

"Colonel, you think something is wrong don't you?" Alexi asked after a beat.

Saul sighed. Bill had asked him a similar question just hours ago. Either his concern was becoming obvious or others felt it too.

"I think things are going to start changing soon, Alexi, and I think we'd all do ourselves a lot of good to be right with one another before that happens."

Alexi finished the rest of his drink as he watched Margot and Sydra leave Senchi, arms linked and smiling. With a heavy hand he brought his empty glass down on the bar surface.

"Hiroshi," Saul called to the bartender again, "One more round for me and my son."

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 119B: ASSIGNMENT; TIGH

YEAR: 2315

When she entered the room Katya found the bed was made. After turning on a dim lamp she eased herself on top of the quilt with her head at the foot of the rack and her feet tucked under Ellen's pillow. The space held an odd sense of comfort for her, even more than her own room did. As a kid sometimes she'd sleep there with Ellen when Saul worked a rare overnight shift. Other times early in the morning on their days off she'd come in the room, jump up on the rack and attempt to wake them to start the day only to end up falling back to sleep snuggled up between them as they all slept in. She and Ellen would sometimes wake up giggling at Saul's obnoxious snoring and once in awhile when he woke first he would bring them breakfast in bed. Even when she was young Katya was wise enough never to bother them when their door was shut but when it was left open a crack she always knew it meant that they were there if she needed them.

After a few minutes Ellen entered the room. She brought a glass of water in one hand and her cabin tablet in the other and she set them both down on the shelf above the rack. She picked up her pillow and gently tucked it under Katya's head.

"Now my feet are cold," The girl whined and curled her toes.

"Oh well, we can't have that," Ellen mocked, moving Saul's pillow over to cover Katya's now bare feet. "Why are you laying backwards anyway?"

"I don't know. This is where I landed. Maybe it's cause that's how I feel," Katya mumbled into the pillow.

It smelled like Ellen's shampoo and she inhaled the familiar scent deep into her lungs.

"Well at least you have an answer," Ellen smirked kicking off her shoes and climbing over Katya to sit on the other side of the bed. "Where's it hurt?"

"Everywhere."

Ellen sighed and knelt on the mattress beside her. She began to gently rub at Katya’s tense neck and shoulders.

"Your tendons feel like taut wires, Kat. In a little bit I want you to take a muscle relaxer, okay?"

"I hate those things. They make me feel dumb."

Ellen huffed at the obligatory contrariness. It just wouldn't be her Katya if there wasn't a debate or protest to be made.

"Feel like a protein shake?" She mused out loud recalling Bill's slick trick.

"Huh? No. Why?" Katya asked, still oblivious to the deception.

"Never mind, baby," Ellen chuckled softly.

She continued to cautiously rub at Katya's strained muscles as she rested on the bed in silence.

Ellen wasn't sure where to start. There was still such a large part of her that didn't want to have this talk. She could still remember telling John Cavil that she didn't believe that people could ever really change, no matter what they'd been through. She still believed it to a point. She was living proof that old habits could stick around for millennia without a lesson being learned. For the majority of her life she'd never given her selfishness a second thought, let alone struggled to resist it but Katya had given her the will to start when she came into her life. She would do what was best for her now even if it hurt them both.

"Sweetie, I want to thank you for sticking up for me tonight," Ellen started as she continued to rub Katya's stiff neck. "It's not that I didn't appreciate the thought behind it. At first I was even glad you did it but…" She faltered for a moment before forcing herself to continue"Baby, you shouldn't have said all of that to Laura. You shouldn't have ordered her out of the cabin like that, out of your life. It wasn't fair."

Ellen immediately felt Katya's muscles seize up under her hands and she firmly pressed her thumbs into her scapula as if she were preemptively warning her to calm down. She felt Katya let out a trapped breath in surrender and her body relaxed.

"Why not? What's with you? Why didn't you slap her in the face yourself?" Katya groused into the pillow.

Her voice was strained with the ache of Ellen's ministrations and the irritation of her last comment.

"Katya, Uncle Saul was right. You didn't hear what was going on before you walked in."

" So what? I still don't get what difference it makes."

Katya winced as Ellen expertly worked a tender knot out of her shoulder. She had always been fascinated at how much physical power the petite woman could harness when she wanted to. Her typical toying remarks over being good with her hands were never enough to cover up her obvious cylon strength. It was the same strength she felt in Alexi to a degree; powerful, deliberate and controlled.

"Because, Katya, she and I were going back and forth. I was doing my best to infuriate that women and it worked."

"Why?"

"Because I wanted her to leave ," Ellen said in simple honesty.

She hit a particularly sore spot and Katya jerked under her touch. She eased up on the pressure, worried that her own nerves were causing her to be too rough.

"Because she was being a crazy bitch, I'm sure," Katya added.

"No, Katya, she wasn't. I wanted her to leave because she…she asked to see you," Ellen admitted as her hands stilled on Katya's shoulders.

After a quiet pause Katya gingerly leaned up on her forearms with a grunt before turning over to sit on her backside.

"Careful," Ellen warned softly as she helped her to sit up straight.

"She wanted to see me?"

"Yes," Ellen said letting out a long breath and rubbing at her forehead, "You must know by now that she's aware of who you are."

"Yeah, I gathered that much."

"Bill told her the night of the station attack. It was after we took you to the ward and they went back to their cabin. Today she came to me asking for some answers. That's where I was this afternoon. That's why I wasn't here before when you woke up. I was in the lab with Laura," She explained.

"You took her to the lab?" Katya asked in a near whisper.

Ellen nodded.

"Why?"

"I don't know. I didn't know where else to go. Seemed fitting. She wanted to know where you came from so…I took her there."

Katya looked down at her lap wondering what Laura's reaction had been when Bill told her. She'd always imagined it but that was before she'd met the woman She honestly had no better idea now than she had back then. She wondered if Laura was angry, if she was sickened, if she’d yelled or cried. She wondered if she’d screamed or if she’d tried to deny that it was true. Whatever happened Katya knew that it couldn't have been good.

"So what did you tell her?"

Ellen's eyes filled with tears and she gulped down the knot that had suddenly taken up residence in her throat.

"Everything."

"Everything?" Kaya echoed.

"Yeah, everything," Ellen affirmed with reluctant smile. "I told her why and how you were conceived. She knows about the others too. I explained the whole process to her. I told her about her pregnancy and how you were delivered. I even showed her one of your gestational images from before you were even born. I told her everything that she deserved to know, Katya. I told her everything that was done to her body, everything it went through to bring you here," She said wiping some tears away.

Katya's stomach turned and her cheeks went red. Something about Laura knowing all of gritty details filled her with a strange mix of guilt and embarrassment. The woman's body had been completely violated without her knowledge and Katya understood that she in fact was that violation. Unless it was under the guise of a joke discussing her conception always caused her to feel ashamed. She was ashamed of being a product of something so immoral. She was humiliated that after everything that was done she and the others had turned out to be a collective failure. She was ashamed of her father. She was ashamed because even though she knew about everything that he'd done to Bill and Laura and even to her, she still loved Mikhail Isakoff. There were times throughout her life when she would try to convince herself that she didn't. She knew Saul and Ellen hated him, though they did their best to hide it from her. They had good reason to hate him. It made her feel like she should too but after all these years she never stopped loving him or missing him. In some ways it made her feel like an accomplice.

"You did this in front of everyone in the lab?"

"No.” Ellen shook her head. “I made Sydra clear the entire facility. We were alone."

Katya nodded and licked her lips.

"So, how appalled was she?"

Ellen sighed deeply and scooted closer to where Katya sat at the foot of the bed.

"That's not an easy question to answer, kit."

"Well she must have had some kind of reaction to all of it. I would be appalled."

"Of course she had a reaction. She was…disturbed by it, as you can imagine. She was visibly shaken by the description of your conception and honestly, Kat, when I told her about your birth...I really thought she was going to pass out," Ellen confessed. "She sure didn't like the idea of gestation chambers either. I think that freaked her out the most. So, yes, she was appalled. She was appalled by what was done to her and Bill, by what was taken from them but, Katya," Ellen said taking the younger woman's hand and giving it a gentle squeeze, "…you need to believe me when I tell you that she wasn't appalled by you ," Ellen finished in a breathy whisper.

Katya let out a shaky sigh. The way Ellen spoke sent a chill through her body but she forced the feeling away.

"What's the difference? I am what was done to her, to them, to their bodies, whatever," She said rolling her eyes.

Ellen shook her head.

"Katya, there is a difference. You aren't what was done to them. You are what resulted of it. I'm not sure I can explain it to you but I can tell you that there absolutely is a difference and that I know that Laura saw that today."

"How do you know that?" Katya countered in disbelief.

Ellen squeezed the girl’s hand more forcefully.

"Because I saw it in her face, Katya. I saw it . Godsdamnit, I could nearly feel it. I showed her a picture of you. I showed her a photo of you taken the first day out of your chamber, all wrapped up in a blanket and sweet as could be. I watched her face when she saw you. It was so far from appalled. She was blown away," Ellen said recalling the look in Laura's eyes. She'd been touched by it so deeply that she'd been drawn to share something priceless with her only to wind up resenting it later. "I don't know what made me do it…I guess I just wanted to see for myself one more time...and for some reason I just felt like she should get to just once…"

Katya’s brown lowered at Ellen’s rambling.

"Aunt Ellen, what are you talking about?"

For a second the words wouldn't come out of Ellen's mouth.

"I...I started projecting in the lab. I just wanted to see the precious little face in the picture close up as if I were really there…just for a second. Then…I don't know what drove me to do it. I didn't think it would really work…I attempted to share the projection with Laura and…she saw it."

" What? You mean she can project? " Katya asked eyes wide.

"I don't know. I don't know, Katya but she can share mine, same as you can. If she tried, she might be able to do it on her own. You did eventually. I'm just not sure."

"I thought you said she probably wouldn't have the same capabilities."

"That's right; I said probably , not definitely. What do I know? I never dealt with hybrid transfusions. Who knows what Baltar's cure did to her? He didn't exactly have time to study the long term effects while he was trying to save her life. If I hadn't suspected it on some level I guess I wouldn't have tried it today. Look, the traits were strong enough to be passed down to you, so I can't say I'm exactly surprised."

"Well I'm sure she was!"

"It scared the hell out of her. I think she's convinced she's losing her marbles."

"So you didn't explain it?"

"Frak no! It was just for a split second. I panicked. She probably thought she was seeing things. When she reacted to it I just tried to play it off like I didn't know what she was talking about."

"That's real nice, Ellen. And you're getting on my case about how I treated her today?"

" Hey , I shared something precious with her that she would have never seen otherwise! Laura will understand that one day. I know it. I'm sure of it because I watched her face as she looked down at you. She wasn't appalled, Katya. She was amazed…and she was frakking heartbroken…" Ellen said through fresh tears. "After that I couldn't stay in the lab anymore. We came back here and she asked to talk to you and…I wouldn't let her. After all of that I wouldn't let her," She admitted. Katya narrowed her eyes in confusion. "It was such a long day for both of us. I know what she must have gone through. I'm not trying to compare our emotions but it was hard for me to tell her all of that today, to share what I did. As soon as I shared that projection with her I wanted to take it back but it was too late. When we got here I just wanted her and Bill to leave. When Laura asked to see you I…I don't know Katya, I didn't react well. I told her that you were sleeping and injured and that she'd just upset you. Things got heated. We started trading insults. I pushed her too far. She'd been through so much today that I think she just snapped."

Ellen still couldn't bring herself to admit exactly what she'd done. She'd take the blame if only she didn't have to confess the details. She had used Katya today. She took advantage of her love and her loyalty; the very things she was so desperate to hold on to. She'd used their own relationship to ruin another and she was ashamed of it.

"Are you really making excuses for her, Aunt Ellen?"

" No. I'm telling you what happened, Katya, " Ellen insisted but Katya shook her head.

"Ellen, you did the right thing. Maybe that story about her getting all misty eyed at my baby picture would have gotten to me before I knew her but it just doesn't make a difference to me now. I'm glad that she knows the truth now. She deserves that much. I'm glad that you're the one that told her too. I'm grateful you did that but I'm done with that woman, Ellen. I remember what it was like to want to know her so badly. I had some stupid fantasy, some naive picture in my head but…that's over. I spent my whole life wishing for something I didn't understand. I don't want to see her. I'm glad you didn't give in."

" But I should have, Katya,” Ellen cried.

She had a look of intensity in her eyes that Katya just couldn't comprehend.

"Why?" She asked in complete frustration.

" Because I was trying to take you away from her !" Ellen blurted out the words and some new hot tears along with them.

" Away from her ? Ellen what the hell are you talking about? You're acting like you're trying to snatch that baby in the picture. That baby doesn't exist anymore! That projection wasn't even real. What Laura got all sentimental about today is long gone. You can't take anything away from her. It's already been taken and not by you!"

"Katya, there's still something that's being taken away from her if she's not allowed to at least acknowledge her own child. I tried to take that chance from her today out of jealousy. I did and by dismissing her and refusing to see her you're taking it from her too. You can't do that," Ellen persisted.

"What happened to being able to make my own decisions!?"

"But by doing this you're taking Laura's away. This decision affects other people, Katya, not just you ! If you do this then you're making another choice for Laura. She's already had too many made for her," Ellen said wishing that she saw a glimpse of understanding in the young woman's eyes.

" If you let someone change you or make you apologize, then you're selling yourself out ," Katya rattled off the saying as if it were an old proverb. "You told me that, Ellen! You ! Plenty of times! What the hell is the difference now?"

Ellen bitterly smirked and shook her head.

"You know you listen to me way too much, kit." Ellen's slight grin turned into a frown and she flicked a few tears off of her wet cheeks. "Sweetie, I'm not asking you to change one bit and I'm sure as frak not asking you to apologize to anyone. I'm in no way asking you to go up to that woman and tell her that you're sorry. Frankly I don't care if you like Laura Roslin or not. I just don't want you shunning her."

The look on Katya's face turned to one of deep concern and for a moment Ellen thought she'd gotten through to her.

"You've been popping my pills haven't you?" She asked in mock sense of worry.

Ellen was far from amused. Her frustration made her tears surge harder and her reaction turned Katya's faux look of concern into legitimate apprehension.

"Ellen, I'm sorry," She attempted reaching a hand out to cover the woman’s knee.

"Oh, Katya, I don't want to have to explain this to you, " Ellen sobbed, palming at her forehead.

With a big breath she regained some control and reached to take her cabin tablet down from the shelf. Katya's concerned eyes followed her every move. Ellen turned the device on and after a few seconds she took Katya's hand from her knee as if to hold it again and instead scanned her wrist over the screen without asking.

"Ellen what the heck are you doing?"

Ellen didn't answer she just accessed Katya's system data and opened her medical records. She searched silently until she found what she wanted to show her.

The image she brought up was from Katya's first night in the lab. It was a photo captured from overnight footage as they let her sleep and nurse tucked up against Laura's body. Ellen was quiet for a while as she looked at the image of mother and daughter. Large tears rolled down her cheeks as love, awe and jealousy all ran through her at once. She tried to remember what had moved her to tell Laura about that night. She tried to recall what made her share the powerful image that she knew would almost certainly rouse any sense of an ethereal bond that might exist but she couldn't. Back in the lab it had all just come out like an emotive flood and she wasn't sure if she could inspire the compassion in Katya. Though she hated to do it she had one last idea.

"Honey, you and me, we have something in common. We share something that I wish we didn't...Do you know what I'm talking about?" Ellen asked after a while had passed.

"An angry bald man who loves us?" Katya posed with an arched brow.

Ellen gave a small smile and shook her head.

"No sweetie, as women. We have something unfortunate in common as women." Ellen sighed. She hoped this wouldn't hurt Katya as much as it hurt her but she had to help the young woman find some sense of perspective. She might hate herself for it later and Katya might hate her for it now but it was all that she could think of to help her in the long run. "It's that we'll never know that this feels like," She said passing Katya the tablet.

As Katya looked down at the image she finally understood what Ellen meant. Her heart dropped not only at the meaning behind Ellen's cutting statement but at the image on the screen. She'd seen it more than a few times and it never failed to inspire the old feeling she'd grown to hate; the feeling of wanting the mother she never knew.

"I know that you say it doesn't bother you,kitten, and maybe on one level that's true, but I understand exactly what it’s like to be incapable of something that should be so natural. It feels completely unfair. It makes you feel like less than a woman. It takes away your confidence over your own body. Then it makes the decision feel like it isn't even yours because you're always reminded that it was never a frakking option for you in the first place. I know you at least understand that feeling."

Katya did understand it; she just didn't understand why Ellen was bringing it up. They'd spoken about it before over the years but it just wasn't something Katya liked to discuss. She didn't feel like it was relevant or productive to dwell on. The last time that she'd even mentioned it was to Alexi and she would have never let herself bring it up had she not been totally drunk. She blamed the alcohol when he tried to bring it up the next sobering morning. Thankfully he graciously let her sweep it under the rug. She had no desire to talk about it. It just didn't matter.

"I'm not going to discuss that right now," Katya said steeling her jaw.

"Then don't talk. Just listen to me," Ellen said putting a hand on Katya's leg.

She let out a long sigh and leaned against the wall at the foot of the rack.

"Katya, when Uncle Saul and I lived on Earth, our Earth , you know that we always wanted children but it never happened…and it's haunted me through every lifetime."

Even though Katya had heard Ellen say it before she felt a deep sting follow the raw divulgence. She hated to see Ellen cry and to see her cry about this was almost unbearable. The pain in her eyes was too old and too familiar. She had to look away for a moment.

"When we lived on the Colonies it was the same thing all over again. We tried, though not as long and not as thoroughly. I would get so frustrated I would go on week long benders. Eventually we gave up. I focused on things that would distract me; having fun and making trouble.  I wasn't myself…at least not totally. Cavil…John...he left me with the worst parts of my personality and just a few saving graces, but even then, once in awhile I felt it; the sad pangs of what if and that frakking sense of inferiority." Ellen shook her head and rolled her eyes. "You know, back on Caprica I even saw a shrink about it once. She told me it was the reason why I have such a pension for male attention. She said their desire for me as a woman helped to overshadow that part of the whole dance that I just couldn't do," She shrugged and let out a short laugh. "I went home after that, flirted with building doorman, killed a bottle of wine and tried not to think about it ever again…but I still had this weird space in my heart that men and booze and even Uncle Saul could never fill."

"Ellen, I…"

"Daniel filled that space in my heart once,” Ellen smiled sadly through her tears. “And when he was taken from me I thought it would never be filled again. When Uncle Saul was expecting a son with the Six...it felt like that space had been torn wide open. Someone else was going to give him something that I never could and it made that empty space feel so much bigger and so much emptier. Then one day you came along and you filled it. You filled it, kitten. You filled it to the brim."

"Aunt Ellen, please don't do this to yourself," Katya said urging her to spare them both.

"Shh, baby, just listen to me," Ellen said putting a delicate finger to the girl's lips. "I need you to hear me," She told her only taking her finger away when Katya gave a tenuous nod. "You know that I've always loved you like you were my own child but sometimes I'm still haunted by the fact that I never got to know what it was like to really have one of my own; to know Saul and I made a whole other person. I've always wished that you were mine. I mean, you are , but I mean really and truly my flesh and blood," Ellen squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head. "I know that it sounds crazy with all that was done to her, but I've always been so jealous that Laura got to carry you and I didn't. It's sick. I know that but it's the truth. In the lab today she looked so awestruck as she stared down at your picture and the damn projection...And I was just so overcome with the same old envy because I could see a connection there that I'll just never know. And no matter what you say, sweetie, I wish like hell that you really had the option to choose to know it or not," She added in a strained voice as Katya turned away. "I'm telling you this, Katya, not to make you feel badly, or because I want company to commiserate with. I'm telling you because you can understand it," Ellen tried to explain. She saw Katya's ears redden and tears start to begrudgingly roll down her flushed cheeks. "Laura had the chance to know that feeling taken away from her. No one took anything from you and me. It's just the way our bodies work…or don't work, I guess I should say. Katya if you dismiss Laura from your life, if you don't at least let her acknowledge you then you're keeping that chance away from her the same as I tried to. You're taking away her chance to know what it's like. No one can change that for you or for me but you can change that for Laura. She deserves to know. Give her that gift. Give her that gift that you and I can't give ourselves. You're the only person who can do that for her now," Ellen finished.

Katya's jaw was slack and her face was hot. Ellen had just fiercely and painfully bared her soul to make her point but she'd dragged Katya's along with it and it wasn't fair.

"You've got a lot of nerve, Ellen," Katya gritted, finally giving Ellen her dejected and angry eyes.

Ellen could see the fury, hurt and resentment behind them but she hoped the tears that were now steadily falling meant that Katya had finally understood what she was trying to explain.

"Tell me something I don't know, sweetie," Ellen answered with a small shrug and a sniff.

"I can't give her this back, Ellen," Katya said shoving the tablet into the other woman’s lap. "She can't hold me, she can't rock me to sleep. That's gone. So I guess that just makes three of us that just have to live and wonder."

Katya's tone was biting but Ellen let it go. She knew that this would sting for both of them.

"Just offer her what you can, Katya. Offer Laura a chance to look you in the eye and see you for who you are to her. Let her know the feeling of acknowledging her own child, her own flesh and blood. Whatever it brings her at least you won't be the one withholding it."

"Even if I did, how do you know she'd even want to now after everything she’s learned, after everything that was said?" Katya posed as she wiped her eyes roughly with the back of her wrist.

"I don't know that she’ll want to. Not for sure. Maybe we frakking scared her off for good. I don't know but I do know that the right thing is to let her have the chance. When she asked to speak to you before and I refused, she asked that I at least give you the option to talk to her or to turn her away for yourself. Now I'm asking you to give her the same option she wanted you to have."

It was strange to know that Laura had put herself out there, ready to take the rejection if only for a chance to speak with her. Katya didn't know what to do. She wasn't sure she could even face her again let alone speak to her. She had over twenty years of fantasy daydreams of her mother piled up in her mind and now she couldn't even picture what a civil conversation with Laura would be like.

"I don't know if I can."

Ellen licked her lips and gave Katya a sad smile.

"Will you do it for me?"

Something about the way she said it caused Katya's tears to run hot and her exasperation to surge.

" I was doing this for you ! I turned my own mother away for you, Ellen ! I was defending you !" Katya shouted through unwanted emotion. "And for you...I'd do it again."

Ellen's heart hurt as she struggled against the desire to just embrace Katya's devotion and say to hell with everyone else.

"Katya, you can't withhold yourself as punishment in my defense! Don't you see that's what you're doing? I can't have you chastising Laura in my name, I just can't! Sweetie, you want me to quit treating you like a little girl; show me that you understand what this means as a woman."

Ellen's eyes were pleading; something Katya couldn't recall ever seeing before. She reached out and thumbed a tear off the other woman's cheek as if it would discourage the others from falling. She wished in that moment she could fix everything; for Ellen, for Laura, for herself but there was just so much that couldn't be changed, so much they would all still have to bear no matter what she did or didn't do.

"Ellen, you are my mother. You know that right?"

Ellen nodded and put an arm around Katya squeezing her in close.

"Yeah, baby. I know. I do and it feels so damn good to hear you say it," She said letting her tears fall onto Katya's shoulder. "Give Laura a chance to hear it too."

Katya held onto Ellen tightly. She didn't need another reason to love to the woman in her arms but she'd given her one anyway. Katya had a feeling that Ellen had gone through lifetimes without being understood by many people. She was proud that she could say she was one who did. After fifteen years she was still learning things about the woman who had come into her life as a stranger and become the closest thing that she ever had to a mother. What most people saw of Ellen Tigh was only a fraction of the woman she truly was. Perhaps the same was true for Laura Roslin.

"I…I won't turn her away again," Katya whispered.

It was all she could offer.

"Thank you, baby" Ellen said kissing the side of her head, "That's good to hear."

As they sat there tightly embracing the sudden blaring of the station alarm sounded jarring them away from each other.

"Dammit!" Katya shouted struggling to inch off the rack as the lights emergency lights started to pulsate.

"Frak! What the hell is going on!?" Ellen shouted.

"Shit! Should we go get Roslin and Adama?"

"No…no. Vladi is there with two marines. They'll be fine until Saul gets to them,” Ellen decided.

"All I have the alert!” Katya shouted over the noise as she checked her cuff.” No sit-rep. What the hell!?”

"I'm not picking up on anything from the basestar,” Ellen said biting her lip in thought. “But...I have a bad feeling.”

"What? Why?"

ACTION STATIONS. ACTION STATIONS.

ALPHA SET CONDITION ONE

ALL UNITS AND ALL SQUADRONS REPORT

REPEAT ALL UNITS AND ALL SQUADRONS REPORT

"Fuck!"

"Katya don't you even think about it," Ellen warned.

Katya stood there mouth agape as the reality sunk in. She couldn't report. Even if she could force herself to fly in her condition no one would let her. She was still a mess, over medicated and stiff. Her bird still sat up on blocks on the deck in worse shape than she was. She was utterly useless to her squadron, to her station.

" This is insane! I can't just sit here . I can't! Maybe they can use me in the control room.” As she went to send out an assignment request message that she knew was probably doomed to be rejected, Ellen reached out and grabbed her arm with a force.

"You're not going anywhere," She said in a loud but even voice. "Don't fight me on this, Katya. There's no point because I'll stop you," She informed her as she firmly but carefully drew the girl back on the bed by her wrist. "We're going to sit here together, you and me, until it's over…just like we used to. I'm gunna hold on to you and you're gunna hold on to me. I'm gunnna rub your back and we're gunna take deep breaths until it all passes."

Ellen was right and Katya hated it. Kaplan wouldn't let her do a damn thing knowing the shape she was in and Tawny would never approve it anyway. If the commander needed her then he'd send for her and she knew that wouldn't happen unless the situation was desperate.

ACTION STATIONS. ACTION STATIONS.

ALPHA SET CONDITION ONE

ALL UNITS AND ALL SQUADRONS REPORT

REPEAT ALL UNITS AND ALL SQUADRONS REPORT

Reluctantly back in Ellen's arms Katya let her tears run freely.

"Ellen, I can't stand not doing anything when I hear that sound," She sobbed into her neck.

Even lowering the com system volume in the cabin didn't do much good. Their anxiety always amplified the noise in their minds anyway and the constant vibrations through the walls and the floors made sure that almost every sense was alarmed.

"I know, baby. I know all you want to do is serve your people. You're my sweet little warrior and you always have been. I'm so very proud of you," Ellen spoke as soothingly as she could while hugging Katya tightly in her arms. "Just try and let it all go." Ellen did her best to block everything else out; the alarms, the sobbing, the fear and soon, little by little it all actually started to fade. The buzzing rhythm of the alarm was replaced by the rhythm of waves, their sobbing by the calls of gulls and their tears by the salty spray of the ocean. "C'mon kitten, let's go to the beach."

Chapter 19: Chapter 19

Chapter Text

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

YEAR: 2315

Saul wearily walked the halls of the station's military quarters as he made his way back home. After leaving Bill and Laura's cabin he briefly considered going all the way to the control room to check in but a message from his CEM assured the colonel that his jurisdiction was stable and back to business as usual now that the alert was over.

When the alarms first rang out Saul was hardly surprised. He thought perhaps it was the booze dulling his senses or that maybe he was just finally becoming immune to the sound but in the back of his mind he knew it was because he had in some way been expecting it. Maybe not right then; he didn't have any sense of time attached to it. He'd just been waiting for its inevitability. The only surprising factor was that he usually had some warning from the basestar. Communications with the Raider's usually would alert Saul and Ellen before station alarms ever had time to sound. This time the contact came after. That worried him. He made note to bring it up to Ellen and Margot when things had calmed. As Saul walked he wondered how Alexi had fared. He’d watched the boy stumble off of his bar stool at the sound of the alarm and like a switch he'd snapped to attention when the Colonel barked loudly at him to sober up. He watched the marine charge out of Senchi amidst all the other hardly sober officers all rushing to report. Saul slightly regretting forcing so much booze into him all night. Before Saul could report to the control room himself a message came to him on Commander Kaplan's behalf; he was to locate Roslin and Adama and stand vigil until the condition changed. Saul knew itwould probably become his combat assignment for the foreseeable future and it angered him and appeased him all at once. He wanted to protect them. His place was always by Bill's side but that didn't change the fact that he had become a glorified babysitter.

He arrived at their hatch not long after leaving Senchi. Having sent them a message on his way they were awaiting his arrival. He could tell they had obviously been woken from bed. Laura was shaken and Bill was angry. Saul expected as much.

 

It was an odd few hours as he accompanied them. When they’d all parted ways earlier in the evening the circumstances had been tense. Saul could hardly look Laura in the eyes. He felt badly for the woman but he also hadn't forgotten the words she'd used against his wife and her harsh judgment over how they'd raised Katya. He didn't know what to say to Bill either. After showing them how to lower the alarm volume in their cabin he briefly considered offering to wait out the alert in the hallway with their security detail but his duty was explicit. He was to keep them both within his line of vision until further notice. He settled for suggesting they rest while he waited for an updated sit-rep on their sofa. At first they took him up on it, retiring to their bedroom together but not long after Bill rejoined Saul. The two men hardly spoke as they sat waiting. Saul gave Bill updates as they came in and Bill made minimal comments.

There had been another atmosphere breech; this time in both the Alpha and Beta quadrants of the Orbit system. From what Saul heard the Airbots were able to advance much further than they had during the last attack. They'd made it closer to the station than they had in over a year, in fact. It was as if the cylon Raiders had been caught off guard. The fleet of Airbots was far more numerous than the last and all flight squadrons were called on deck. Six air groups had eventually taken flight throughout the battle. When it was over and their birds were called home Saul learned that this time there were system casualties. They'd lost a handful of Raiders; Cylon guardians that wouldn't be coming back. The basestar could replace them by creating brand new ships but their memories no longer downloaded, they no longer resurrected. When they lost Raiders in combat they lost soldiers with experience and knowledge and those things just couldn't be programmed. Beta Station reported three airmen lost and Alpha; two. It was hard to count themselves lucky but they did. Saul was relieved when he learned that Blazer made it back safely and though he knew Katya was in pain and suffering from the results of the last attack he counted himself fortunate that she had been tucked safely in his cabin all night by Ellen's side. When the alarms ceased at 0300 and the station's status was downgraded Saul was able to take his leave. Laura never came back out of the bedroom and he was able to offer Bill some honest parting words.

"Things are heating up. I think it would be good if we could make things right…just so we can all focus on whatever might be coming our way…I'm trying my damnedest to fix things on my end, Bill, but you've gotta fix them on yours," Saul told his friend plainly. It was the first time either one of them had mentioned the earlier events and the expression on Bill's face looked anything but understanding. "C'mon, Old Man. I've got two that I have to contend with. You just have the one,” He’d tried to muse, gesturing in the direction of the bedroom Laura rested in. “You've gotta help me out here, Bill.”

With a firm and stoic grunt the Admiral had finally nodded in agreement. Satisfied with that response Saul left the cabin to trudge home, tired and with the beginnings of a hangover creeping up on him from his daylong buzz. All he wanted was to fall onto his rack and pass out into a dreamless sleep. The three minute walk home felt like an hour long trek through knee deep water. He was relieved to finally turn the last corner of his journey and see the centurion still standing guard outside of his home.

When Ellen heard the hatch click she sat up straight in the rack. Careful not to disturb Katya who finally slept soundly beside her she made her way off of the bed and out of the doorway.

The room was dark as Saul entered and he figured that Kat and Ellen must have gone to bed soon after the alarms stopped.

He and Ellen hadn't messaged much during the time he’d sat with Bill. Her near silence almost worried him but he knew that she and Katya were safe in their cabin and that they were in good hands with each other.

Saul could hardly see where he walked once the entrance closed and the light from the hall was lost. As he made his way toward the bedroom he nearly jumped out of his skin when Ellen sprang into his arms.

"Good gods, woman!" He yelled struggling to hold on to her without falling back onto his ass.

"Shhh, you're gunna wake Kat," She whispered before kissing him, nearly missing his mouth in the darkness.

Still alarmed Saul wasn't exactly reciprocating her sudden affections.

Ellen, you scared the frak out of me, " He whispered forcefully leaning away from her advancements but Ellen just pulled him closer.

"I'm sorry," She whispered palming the back of his head and aggressively pressing her lips to his.

She kissed him until he turned his head making it impossible.

"Ellen what the frak has gotten into you?"

He couldn't understand where her impromptu ardor was coming from. They'd been on less than steady terms lately and it was almost 0400. Though Saul hadn’t been confined to sleeping on the couch they hadn't exactly been snuggling up under the sheets either. Everything was just getting in the way. Bill, Laura, Katya, the EOC and the constant threat all hung over their heads. Ellen hadn't shown him this kind of attention in weeks and though he was naturally tempted to succumb to her he was thrown off guard.

He couldn't bring himself to reciprocate. Ellen finally leaned back with a discouraged huff.

Saul's vision had adjusted to the darkness and now he could see her face. She wore an unsure smile and her eyes were slightly swollen. He could tell she'd been crying all night.

"Nothing's gotten into me, Saul. I'm just happy to see you. I'm relieved that you're back," She explained running her hands down the front of his tunic.

"I was only at Bill and Laura's," He grimaced. "I didn't even report," He added in confusion.

"I know it. I just…I missed you is all. Can't I just be happy that you're home?" She asked tilting her head and letting one of her hands hook on to his belt.

The look she was giving him and the sadness behind her ever seductive smile tugged at his heart. He suspected what might have happened while he was gone. What he saw in her eyes wouldn't be there if it hadn't. Somehow it made him forgive her for everything else. He could never stay angry at her for long. No matter how maddening and infuriating she could be, he needed her. They'd found their way to each other in every lifetime and he couldn't imagine one without her. It would be more peaceful, it would be easier, but it wouldn't be worth it.

"Yeah…Yeah, Ellen. I'm glad to be home too," He relented with a half smile and finally leaned in to meet her for a shared kiss.

As Ellen dipped her hand lower past his belt Saul's weariness and tension was forgotten. He would sleep later; he would sleep when he was dead, as long as he could have the blonde in his arms right then.

"C'mon," He said breaking their contact and then pulling her by the wrist toward their bedroom.

"No, no, no ," Ellen protested tugging her arm back to stop him, "We can't go in there. Katya's sleeping on the bed," She said in a low but warning voice.

Saul grimaced in frustration. It had been months since they had to deal with having their kid in their cabin and he'd become happily used to that part of being an empty nester.

"I'll pick her up and put her to bed," He offered hastily.

"No, no leave her, Saul. I finally got her to take her meds an hour ago. She wouldn't sleep until she knew Blazer was okay. She had a long night, besides, you'll strain her neck," Ellen protested.

She and Katya had spent most of the attack immersed in a peaceful vision of sea and sand. It was Ellen's go-to projection used on only the rarest of occasions when times just got too tough. It was the very first she'd ever shared with her little girl and tonight it just felt right. Eventually she'd broken it, remembering the real world needed attending to, but it had done them both a lot of good to allow themselves the tiny break from reality. Katya only minimally protested when Ellen brought her medicine into the bedroom, agreeing to take the pills once she got word that Blaze was safe. Once she fell to sleep Ellen rested beside her awaiting Saul's return. Something about the tumultuous night had given her a strange sense of gratitude toward her husband and now she wanted nothing more than to show it in the only way she really knew how.

"Well I'm not doin' it on her bed, I'll tell you that," Saul groused in a louder voice.

" Shh !" Ellen warned again, taking his hand and guiding him to the sofa.

"Here?" Saul said reluctantly following, "She could come out and catch us."

Ellen giggled.

"It's not like it would be the first time," She teased. Saul winced and it made her laugh harder. "Oh she always gets over it. She's very resilient. C'mon Saul," Ellen chided making him grimace even more. She had to stifle her laughs with her palm. Pushing him onto the sofa she promptly sat on his lap making sure he had no exit. "C'mon, she's so drugged up Vladi could go in there and play the steel drums on his knee and she'd never know it."

Ellen smirked and leaned in to nibble on her husband's ear; something she knew he could hardly ever resist.

"You sure?" He asked weakly, knowing that at this point he didn't have much choice let alone the will to say no to her.

"Positive. I'll be real quiet," She assured, leaning back on his lap so that she could see his face.

For a while she stared at him without words.

"What's that look for?" He smiled as he ran his eager hands down her backside.

"Nothing…I just love you is all," She said with her eyes suddenly watering once again.

Saul frowned at the crack in her voice and the unshed tears her eyes held.

"You alright?" He asked looking up at her.

She nodded and licked her lips as she tried to blink away the unexpected emotion. She leaned in to hug him and rested her head on his shoulder.

"Did you and Katya talk tonight?" He asked softly, already knowing the answer.

Ellen nodded against his neck.

"That's good, Ellen," He said running a soothing hand up and down the side of her thigh. She didn't respond right away but he could feel more tears fall onto the skin of his neck. "It is, baby and I'm proud of you," He offered.

He held her for a moment before she moved in his arms.

"I'm proud of you too, Saul," She told him with sniff. "Over the years…since we came to Alpha I…" Ellen faltered unable to follow through with what she was trying to say. "You're just such a wonderful father," She told him finally.

He was still as he held her. Ellen's words had taken his voice away for a moment. She'd never said that to him before.

It wasn't that he'd been waiting to hear it. He just never knew what it would mean to have her tell him it was so. Saul gathered his strength and lifted Ellen up from his chest. He laid her back on the sofa so that her head was at one end and her feet at the other. He leaned down over her making sure he looked directly into her eyes; the eyes that still reminded him of what the sky looked like on a clear day even though he hadn't seen it for thousands of years.

"And you are such a wonderful and beautiful mother," He told her in a soft but solid voice making sure she heard every word before leaning in to give her a slow and tender kiss.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 119B: ASSIGNMENT; TIGH

YEAR: 2315

"I thought you were going to ask the Commander, Saul," Bill said as he followed Tigh around the cabin.

"I forgot with all the commotion," Saul answered, busily searching the cabin with Bill on his tail." Ellen where the frak is my side holster?!" He shouted so that she could hear him from where she was getting ready in the head. "Besides, Bill I didn't think you were really serious." Saul grimaced as he checked the desk drawer for the second time. "I thought it was the booze talking."

"I'm absolutely serious, Saul," Bill returned.

He was going stir crazy. After the last attack he decided that he couldn't bear to spend another high alert held up in his cabin like some frightened civvie. He and Laura had little to do as they awaited the other downloads. They were treated like precious commodities under constant guard but they felt like prisoners. What was worse for Bill was knowing that even if he had the freedom to go and do as he pleased he wouldn't know where to start.

"Ellen!" Saul called again.

"I put it with Kat’s!" She finally hollered back.

"And where the frak is that?!"

"Gods! Hold on!" She shouted.

"Bill, the commander is never going to go for it. Don't you see what your safety means to these people?" Saul said shaking his head.

"I could be of some use. Maybe in some consulting capacity. Combat tactics can't have changed that much. I'm not asking for a title here or any control. I just want something to do with myself."

"So go to the gym. Play a videogame. Ask Lt. Bishop to spar with you. You should see Helo's son in the ring. He may seem goofy but he’s a beast to box. Enjoy the retirement you never had while you still can."

"I want to be useful. Saul, I mean it. I'm not sitting on my ass through another alarm like that."

"You will be frakking useful, Old Man. That's the whole point of this entire thing," The Colonel growled.

"We don't know when and we don't know how. What the hell do I do till then?"

"Look, Bill, I'll talk to the commander when I get back. See if he has any ideas, but I'm not sure I can help you on this. You just need to hang on. In a few days Helo and Athena will be back. Who knows what that will bring? You very well might find out what exactly your purpose is then. Til' that happens try and relax."

"That's another thing," Bill interjected as he watched Ellen stroll into the room. It was the first time he'd seen her since the unfortunate confrontation. Days had passed but he was no less infuriated with her. He knew that her jealousy and goading had been what sparked the entire event. Though he understood that Laura wasn't blameless he was sure that Ellen was the cause of her malice and probably Katya's too. As far as he was concerned Ellen had deliberately torn at the delicate beginnings of his family and he couldn't stand to look at the woman let alone greet her. “Laura and I want to be there when they resurrect," Bill said bringing his attentions back to Saul.

"No way," Saul answered quickly. " We can't risk having the majority of you in the same place at the same time. That's why you've all been separated on different stations. Look what happened to the bodies on Gamma. If you'd all been there we'd have lost hope all together."

"It's right here, Saul," Ellen said bending over to open an end table drawer. She pulled out his holster and tossed it over to him, "Hello, Bill," She purposefully acknowledged.

He curtly nodded in her direction without giving her his eyes.

"Finally," Saul groused. "We're gunna be late," He said as he removed his tunic to put on the apparatus, "What are you packing, Ellen?"

"I'm not going armed, Saul," Ellen rolled her eyes. "I told you."

"I don't like it, Ellen. What if there's a breach while we're over there? What if we were boarded? Just take something," He called after her as she made her way to the cooler to grab a bottle of water.

"We are taking along half a dozen centurions. I don't need anything else," Ellen insisted.

"Where the frak are you two going armed to the gills?" Bill grimaced.

He watched Saul with something akin to envy as he shrugged his tunic back on and fastened it closed. The Orbit Patrol uniform was far sleeker than anything he was used to with its black on black and bright white piping. Its only hint of color was the Alpha blue service band worn around the bicep and whatever medals and ribbons decorated the breast of the jacket. Though it was an unfamiliar look Bill still thought he could see himself donning it. He'd be far more comfortable in it than he was sporting the collared shirts and slacks that had been pre-stocked in his cabin when they'd arrived. He had never been meant for civilian life and he still wasn't.

"The basestar," Saul answered, slipping his sidearm into his holster. "We're meeting Margot and her team from Delta, along with a team of engineers from each station. We want to try and figure out what's up with our communications system."

"I thought you said that firewall fixed the problem."

"It did but it also may have caused some jamming within our own… internal transmissions, let's call it," Saul specified. "During the last attacks the Raiders didn't pick up on the coming infiltration until our station radar saw it. Usually they have a head start. Typically Ellen and I have always gotten a signal before an oncoming threat has breached the atmosphere line. Margot gets it too," He explained.

Bill frowned. Saul was talking about some sort of Cylon interconnection. After all this time it still made him uneasy.

"This time Ellen and I got nothing. Margot didn't either. We were clued in when we heard the alarms just like everyone else."

"What about the two boys?" Bill posed.

Ellen turned from the kitchen and walked toward the living space when she heard Bill’s question. She was sure that he didn't want to hear her speak but it was her home and she'd do it anyway.

"As hybrids Blaze and Alexi haven't really experienced the same level of Cylon abilities as Margot. They generally don't receive any communication with other Cylons until they are in close range or they initiate it themselves. They can read each other and us if they want but it’s not something they tend to do. They can interact with the stream but they don't have the best control over it and their connection's about half the strength of Margot's," Ellen explained as Bill obviously averted eye contact.

"The boys only have a moderately higher ability than Katya does," Saul slipped.

Ellen froze where she stood.

"Katya?" Bill scowled, " What ?"

" Saul ," Ellen warned but he huffed and sighed throwing his arms up in frustration.

"Oh so what, Ellen? Might as well get it all out in the open! How much more damage could it do?"

Ellen shrugged and rolled her eyes as she flopped down on the ottoman giving up. She wasn't ashamed to reveal Katya's abilities. She was proud of them. They'd brought the two closer than she ever thought they could be. She was always grateful that Katya could relate to her and Saul that way. It had helped them become the family that they were but Ellen knew Bill wouldn't share her sentiments.

"What are you two talking about? She's not here is she?" He asked, realizing he'd never even checked to see if his daughter was in when he arrived.

Bill had been frustrated when he arrived. He had no desire to spend another day hovering over Laura and sitting on his ass. He’d left his quarters in a huff. He’d started badgering Saul with an onslaught of questions about enlistment as soon as he’d gotten there. He felt slightly embarrassed now for not having asked if she were home.  

"She started PT for her neck this morning," Ellen answered. "She won't be back for another hour."

"Doesn't matter," Saul interjected. "She doesn't need to be here for this, besides, Laura should know. Could affect her too," Saul posed.

Ellen's face surged with warmth.

"Yeah…maybe," She mused with a roll of her eyes.

Ellen was already relatively sure that Laura was indeed affected. When Saul told her about Vladi's interest in the woman it clinched things. She already knew that they'd shared that projection in the lab. There was no doubt in that. Vladi’s affections were just confirmation. Laura had at least some cylon abilities and Vladi knew it.

What the frak are you to yammering about ?" Bill nearly growled.

Saul looked at his wife as if to ask her for help.

Ellen shot up out of her seat in anger.

" Oh so you spill the beans and I have to explain it to him? The man won't even look at me, Saul," Ellen shouted in Bill's direction.

" I'm just not in the mood for any of your crap today, Ellen, " Bill shot back, finally looking at her with accusation in his eyes. " I think you've done enough damage for a while ."

"I think you're forgetting that I wasn't exactly fighting with myself the other day, Bill. You're precious Laura may be back here from beyond the grave but that doesn't make her an damn angel! You heard what she said! My kid had to hear all of it! Do you know how hard it was to explain it all to her!? Saul and I dealt with Katya. She understands what she did was wrong but if you think any member of my family is going to start kissing your asses in apology then you're out of your mind and Saul agrees!" Ellen added. Bill made note when Saul didn't stop her to protest. " It's gunna have to go both ways, Bill! Now do you want to hear what I have to say? Because if not then feel free to get back to Laura and that glass house of yours! "

Ellen was right as much as it enraged Bill. What had gone on involved all three woman and if anything was going to change all three of them would need to answer for the hurt they'd caused each other. He wasn't doing any good by insulting Saul's wife in front of him. Bill could tell from the moment he’d gotten there that morning that Saul wasn't altogether happy to see him. Laura had deeply insulted the the man's wife and child and Bill had to understand that.

Ellen's sharp words seemed to insinuate that the Tighs were at least in some way willing to rectify what went on but what they didn't understand was that Laura wasn't budging. No matter how Bill tried to spin it over the last few days Laura was holding steadily to her decision to avoid their daughter. During the day she wouldn't talk about it. She would cut him off whenever he tried to bring it up and yet every night, under the cloak of darkness she would wake dreamily speaking of ‘what ifs and do you thinks’. In the mornings Bill would wake up hopeful that the promise of her midnight musings would be carried into the next day but they were always gone, squelched down by her determination to hide them. It was like she wouldn't bring her hopefulness into the proverbial light of day. She confined all of her thoughts and longing to the wee hours. Laura was no longer the melancholy wreck that existed when they’d first resurrected, neither was she the pile of sorrow that emoted when she'd found out about their child. She was barely anything. She was impassive and detached from the situation. Her reasoning for the way she was handling it was very matter of fact and apathetic. At least until the lights went out at night.

Bill knew that it wasn't all Ellen's fault but as he looked back at her he couldn't remember a time when he wanted to punch her in the mouth more than he did right then. He needed someone to blame and she’d made herself his target. Rationally he knew that more anger and insults would solve nothing.

Reluctantly he relented and nodded for her to continue with whatever new blow she was about deal him.

"Look, we don't have time for a long story right now, Bill, but…Saul's right. Katya does have some Cylon attributes," Ellen confessed and crossed her arms.

"That can't be," Bill shot back, "She's human, she's Colonial. I saw the godsdamn footage of her conception and her birth, Ellen! I know she's mine and Laura's so how the hell is that possible?"

"It's true, Bill," Saul affirmed. "She was born with them as far as we can tell."

"They did something to her, those bastard doctors ," Bill accused trying to find a rational explanation and a somewhere to place some blame. "They engineered her that way?"

"No, Bill, that's not it," Ellen answered. "Believe me I checked a hundred times over trying to figure it out when I first noticed. Nothing was done to her that could have caused it. She wasn't genetically manipulated. It's just…her natural makeup," She said with a shrug.

"That can't be," Bill shook his head.

"It is, Bill. It is cause…it's Laura's too," Saul admitted.

He gave a look to Ellen that seemed to be a half apology. The least he could do was take on the burden of telling Bill the part he knew he would hate hearing the most.

" You two are trying to drive us both frakking crazy aren't you? " Bill spit, still in disbelief.

Ellen bravely stepped closer to where Bill stood infuriated and confused.

"Bill, you know as well as we do that Baltar used an experimental Cylon hybrid transfusion to save Laura's life and cure her cancer. You saw it. That transfusion altered the structure of her blood cells in order to cure her illness. When we realized that Katya was exhibiting cylon abilities we were baffled at first but eventuallySaul figured it out. The sample of Laura's blood that we took from Galactica to clone her body was drawn after her cure, after the transmutation of her own blood cells."

"But Laura didn't have any cylon abilities after that bogus cure. It didn't do anything like that to her. Hell, it didn't even save her life in the end," Bill argued.

"I wouldn't be too sure of that, Bill. Think about it," Saul suggested, "Our leader, our prophet, her visions, her dreams. How do we know what allowed her to see any of that? I'll grant you that she'd been having those premonitions and such from the time we both met her but you know as well as I do how much stronger and vivid they became toward the end. Maybe that chamalla wasn't the holy mystic miracle drug we thought it was. I know she and Athena shared the same dreams and visions as Caprica. You know it too. The three of them saw things together. They had the same experiences together. They could see each other, hear each other. Why do you suppose Laura could connect in such a way to two cylon women?" He posed.!"Do you know what a projection is, Bill? I mean, for a cylon?" Saul asked.

Bill nodded slowly. He did. Sharon Agathon had spoken about the ability during one of their long talks in his quarters. He knew what it was, how they could choose to see the world around them in any way they desired and how they could stop it and start it at will. Sharon told him that once she'd gotten to Galactica she'd stopped doing it. She said it made her feel like she was lying to herself. She said it made her feel less human. The thought that his daughter was capable of it made Bill's stomach turn. The thought that Laura might be capable of it was enough to make his head spin.

"It could be possible that Laura has no cylon attributes," Ellen lied. That theory was gone. She knew now what the woman was capable of but she wasn't about to tell Bill that. "It's possible that she never has. Part of her genetics could have just been recessively passed down during her baby's conception or somehow activated during fetal development by naturally occurring hormones. The thing is we may never know why but Katya does have some cylon abilities and we know that she inherited them from Laura."

"Kat can project," Saul explained. "She doesn't but she can. She can share ours too but neither of us do that anymore," He went on as Ellen blushed beside him. “Her dreams are more vivid than most too. They seem more lifelike. She struggled with that a lot as a kid…she saw things. It's hard to tell a little girl that her nightmares aren't real when you know just how true to life they must seem. Sometimes she gets feelings she can't explain. We don't know how much of that is jumbled or weak intercommunication from the stream and how much of it is her own mind at work but she's learned to handle it. She can read us, the boys too and we can do the same with her. She can communicate with the centurions,!identify them at close range. That's how she can pick out Vladi from a crowd full of identical bullet heads."

"Saul, don't call them that," Ellen nagged.

Bill could hardly hear either of them speak. He felt like his head was drifting up like a balloon. His own child was a sweeping red eye away from being one of the chrome domes he'd spent two wars gladly killing. If he hadn't learned his lesson before and saw how thin the line was between the two races, he sure would have now. The blood drained out of his face when Saul mentioned Laura's shared visions with the Six and the Eight. He broke out into a cold sweat when he spoke of Katya's feelings and dreams. He wondered if the vivid feelings and dreams that Laura had recently shared with him could have any relation to her possible abilities.

"You may want to hold off telling Laura," Ellen suggested.!"She doesn't need to be bothered with it if it's not bothering her."

After everything they'd gone through in the last few days Ellen was in no mood for Laura to realize what she'd done in the lab. She believed what she told Katya. She was sure that one day Laura would be thankful for that brief glimpse of her baby but for now Ellen didn't want to answer for it. She'd given in enough for now.

"If she hasn't noticed anything by now, Bill she probably doesn't have to worry about it. It's your call," Saul suggested, attempting to reassure his friend.

"You encouraged these behaviors in Katya?" Bill squinted.

"They aren't behaviors , Bill," Ellen challenged snidely." They are part of who she is. We didn't raise her to be ashamed of anything her mother gave her," She finished with a raised eyebrow, pleased when her choice of words and the desired effect they had on Bill's expression.

"Look, Bill…Katya's just a special girl," Saul added. "She always has been. You have to remember that everyone in this system has a bit of cylon in them…well, except for you. Looks like until Helo gets here you're the odd man out," He tried to joke. "We brought the two races here and they eventually joined with the people who already existed on this planet and became one. These people all have some sense of Colonial lineage in them the same as they have Cylon genes too. Katya's not too far away from that. She just has her abilities switched on. She's still your daughter. There's nothing about her that didn't come from either you or Laura," Saul tried to explain but Bill's face looked utterly disturbed. Even though he understood Bill's aversion to the news Saul couldn't help but be slightly hurt. He forced himself to push it aside. He always knew this would be Bill's reaction. It was why he had always dreaded the day he'd have to tell him. It was why he always wished over the years that Katya would somehow grow out of it or that it would just one day fade away.It hadn't and now Bill would just have to learn to understand that part of his daughter. "We can talk more about this later if you want, Bill. We can even go see the commander when I get back and talk about some kind of placement for you but Ellen and I really have to get going," He said moving to the desk and opening the top drawer. He retrieved what looked like a small harness and tossed it to his wife. "Strap that on, Ellen, or I'm not riding with you," He told her as he unlocked another drawer with his cuff and pulled out a small pistol.

With an exaggerated sigh Ellen propped her leg up on the coffee table lifting her dress enough to slip on the leg holster. She tightened the straps so it was concealed around her thigh. Saul walked over and handed her the small gun. She forcefully shoved it in the harness with another roll of her eyes.

"Happy, Saul?"

Even the sight of an attractive blonde strapping a weapon under her skirt wasn't enough to lift Bill out of the cylon fueled fog he was in.

"We'll talk when I get back," Saul assured. "I promise, Bill."

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 126B: ASSIGNMENT; ROSLIN/ADAMA

YEAR: 2315

The awkwardly bound book was getting heavy in Laura's hands as she lay on her back trying to read the same paragraph over for a third time. The story had distracted her for a while but now her eyes were growing tired and burning from the fresh scent of the ink. She was just grateful to finally read something that wasn't illuminated by the harsh glow of an artificial screen. She let the heavy stack fall on the mattress beside her not bothering to mark the page she'd stopped on.

Clasping her hands together over her ribs she felt the blood start to circulate back into her fingers. She wondered if she was tired enough to fall asleep. When she slept during the day she didn't seem to dream as much. She'd only woken a few hours ago but Bill was out and she was running out of distractions. She showered, she dressed, they ate a quiet breakfast, they fought over Bill's ridiculous notion of enlisting and then they fought over his maddening insistence that they discuss their daughter. This time her persistent refusal sent him out the door. She was alone now and looking for anything to occupy her mind. Over the past few days she'd taken to obsessively listing things in her head just to keep herself busy. Bill was right, they needed something to do with themselves but she didn't like his idea and this was all she'd come up with for herself so far. She would try to list all of the old quorum members by name and colony, or the names of the children from her last second grade class, even characters from books she used to like to read. When that got old she switched to listing things she liked to do when she lived back on Caprica; ‘I liked to paint, I loved to go to the museum, I liked to visit the shore on holiday ’. At one point she tried to list what she remembered from her last vacation to Scorpia; ‘the beaches were gorgeous, it was so damn hot, I went through a whole bottle of sunscreen, I shopped at the boutiques, I spent a ridiculous amount of money, a man at the hotel asked me to dinner, I said yes because I was mad at Richard, we had amazing seafood, he was very sweet, I don't remember his name, I didn't like the wine’ . The lists only worked to a point. The rapid succession of people, places and things kept her focused for a while but inevitably she always hit a wall. She'd run out of things to name or count and the damned break in the line would allow everything she was avoiding to creep back in so that every list ended up the same; ‘ the worlds ended, I was sick, we fought and ran, I fell in love, it hurt so much, we found a home, I died, now I’m back, the world is ending again, I have a daughter, it hurts so much, she's Bill's, she's Saul and Ellen's, she's all grown up, she's a fighter pilot, she's married to Gaius Baltar's son, that's so frakking insane, she's so beautiful, she hates me, I don't like her, I don't know her, I never will’. That list would repeat over and over until she'd realize what she was doing to herself and force it to stop. She knew if she lay there on the bed any longer it would start again but she just couldn't will herself to sleep. The weight of the floppy book, now exaggerated in her mind, seemed too hard to pick up again.

As much as she wasn't in the mood for visitors a knock at the hatch sent a cool rush of relief through her. Laura made quick work of getting to the entrance. Though initially grateful for the distraction she found herself hesitating to open the door. If it were Bill he would have just come in and she couldn't stomach facing either one of the Tighs right now. She almost jumped when the knock repeated.

"Ms. Roslin? It's Tawny Xao. Should I come back another time?" A light voice called from behind the heavy door.

It was the young doctor from the ward. Laura wasn't exactly anxious to see her either but she was one of the few souls in the world she actually knew. Seeing what she wanted would at least be a break from the taunting her own mind was giving her. Reluctantly she found herself opening the door.

The other woman wore a nervous but hopeful smile as two marine guards flanked her and the centurion guard stood towering at her back.

"Ms. Roslin, I hope this isn't a bad time," Tawny tested with a look over her shoulder that told both marines to buzz off.

The two officers resumed their place on either side of the hatch but the centurion stayed put behind the doctor.

"Dr. Xao," Laura greeted halfheartedly.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Roslin. I was told you were in. I sent a message but I didn't hear back from you," Tawny explained.

Laura looked at her cuff and back at the young women.

"You know, we just aren't very good at using these things," She shrugged.

"That's alright," Tawny nodded, "Should I come back another time?"

Laura bit her lip trying to decide if she wanted the company or not. She didn't but she had to weigh it against the alternative.

"Ms. Roslin, I understand that you're probably upset with me,” Tawny said before she could give her answer. “That's why I'm here. I promise I won't stay long if you'll just give me a moment to explain," She attempted wringing her hands in front of her.

She'd opted against wearing her lab coat and she was missing the large pockets that could have hid her nervous fidgeting.

Laura nodded in agreement deciding that she could kick the doctor out at any time if she changed her mind.

"Come in," She offered.

"Thank you," Tawny said in a relieved tone.

Before she could make her way over the step of the hatch the zoom of centurion movement vibrated in her ear as a cylon arm outstretched over her shoulder in Laura's direction. To the surprise of both women, in the palm of the machine's hand sat a small bright sphere. The object was obviously being offered to Laura and Tawny saw the fear and mistrust on her face.

"Is that a tangerine?" Tawny asked with an amused furrow to her brow.

Laura nodded demurely as she slowly and shakily reached for the fruit.

"Thank you," She said, her voice barely there.

The centurion quickly retracted its arm and turned to fall back into place.

Tawny shook her head and grinned as she finally stepped through the doorway.

"That has to be Vladi," She laughed.

Laura closed the hatch and discarded the gift on a nearby desk that held a handful of other offerings from the well meaning but clueless guardian.

"It keeps doing that," Laura murmured.

"Oh that's definitely Vladi," Tawny nodded as if it were commonplace.

"So I've been told. Don't tell me you can decipher one from the other?"

"No, not in the slightest but I've never known another centurion that gives gifts. I've just never seen him give them to anyone other than the ladies of the Tigh household. He must like you," Tawny giggled.

"Well I wish he would stop. It gives me the creeps."

"Oh, Vladi is harmless. Except against a bot, which is exactly why you want him outside that door. He's just trying to show some sense of emotion. I guess that's the only way he's figured out how. Though he does bring some weird stuff sometimes. His concept of gift giving is pretty primitive. Once I saw him give Katya a spoon," Tawny mused.

"Yeah, I have a fork on the desk," Laura confirmed.

"Well maybe come lunchtime you'll be grateful," Tawny teased but Laura didn't have the energy to find it funny.

"Was there a reason you came, Dr. Xao?"

"Yes. Yes there is. And please, Dr. Xao is my father. No one calls me that. It’s Lieutenant if there's really a need for formality but for me Tawny is just fine."

Laura nodded.

"Can we sit? I really do promise I won't stay long," Tawny assured.

Laura gestured toward the living space and they each took a seat on the sofa.

"I know that I'm probably one of the last people you want to see right now," The young woman started." I got permission to visit your quarters after I heard that you’d learned the truth about…your uh…medical history," Tawny attempted but she knew it sounded lame. "I tried to wait a few days before contacting you but I've felt so awful ever since your visit to Med Ward. I know that as your doctor I shouldn't have lied to you."

Laura's teeth were grinding behind her stolid expression but she let Tawny continue.

"It's hard to explain and the worst part is that I'm afraid I don't have anything that you would see as a valid excuse for how I mislead you. I understand that you might not want to hear my side of things but couldn't let it go without at least offering my apologies. It's just that I grew up with your…" Tawny paused. She'd gotten wind of the less the than amicable terms between Roslin and both Tigh women and she wasn't sure how to address their relationship."I grew up with Katya. Neither of us had any siblings and with our fathers working so closely we became good friends. She's five years younger than I am so she followed me around a lot when we were kids. She could be kind of a pest but it was sort of nice to have something like a little sister. Someone who looked up to me, someone to borrow my things and then conveniently forget to give them back," Tawny shrugged.

"Yeah, I had two of those," Laura said with a knowing nod.

"As we got older age didn't matter as much. She was still a pest, she still took my stuff and didn't bring it back but we had a lot in common. We both played the violin. Kat would go to my gymnastic meets and I went to her ballet recitals. We were both fascinated with biology too. She'd sneak me into the lab and let me see what the staff was working on. I would always offer to bring her to the ward in return, but it didn't hold the same appeal to her. I can't even keep her there now with a hole in her head," Tawny said rolling her eyes. She felt more at ease when she saw the corners of Laura's mouth curl up into something resembling a smile. "We both grew up so ensconced within your preservation and upkeep and with upholding the integrity of the entire project. It was drilled into us by my father, by Dr. Isakoff, and Dr. Le Blanc and the Tighs, the EOC...Nothing has ever been more important to us. When you resurrected I was so honored to be the one to finally get to treat you alive and well and Katya didn't trust anyone but me to do it."

Laura swallowed hard. Knowing that Katya had cared so much about her wellbeing at that point made her heart sink even lower. She kept hearing about how much Katya wanted to know her and how long she'd been waiting. There had been so much potential there and Laura felt like she'd ruined for the both of them.

"When the Tighs told me that they were keeping Katya's identity from you and Admiral Adama I'll admit that I was for it to a degree. Dad was too. We all agreed that at least for a while it was best for your frame of mind. We didn't want to overload you with so much information at once. It wouldn't have been wise. It wouldn't have been healthy," Tawny told her. "But when you came to me later that week and I accidentally let you see the truth on your forms I probably should have found a way to tell you then. I panicked. I didn't want to be the one to damage one of the biggest players in a story that I grew up believing to be gospel. I didn't want to damage our only hope for a future back on Earth. If you'd reacted in some outrageous or unfortunate fashion the blame would have been mine. As your doctor I should have been brave enough to accept that but as someone who's been waiting her whole life for you to get here, I wasn't. Even more than that I knew that Katya was struggling. I knew that she didn't want to be found out just then and so I lied for her and for everyone else.” Tawny sighed and shrugged. “No matter what else you are, you're a grown women and as your doctor I shouldn't have kept anything about your own body from you. I regret it. You should have a physician who you can trust. You deserve that and I didn't give that to you. You came to me that day for help and I sent you off with a lie," She admitted. Tawny stopped to take a deep breath. She was relieved to finally have the burden off of her shoulders but she couldn't read Laura's expression. "I came here to offer you my apologies for that and to tell you that I understand if you're no longer comfortable with me handling your care. My father would be more than happy to fill that role. If it matters to you, I'm the only woman practicing on this side of the station. I can offer to find you a suitable civilian doctor. I could arrange for them to visit our ward. You wouldn't even have to travel," Tawny suggested but Laura suddenly held a palm out to stop her rambling.

"Dr. Xao…Tawny," She corrected. "As much as I appreciate your apology, I'm just going to stop you right there," She told her.

Tawny felt her cheeks go slightly red. She was half expecting to be tossed out of the cabin.

"I won't say that it didn't bother me to realize what went on that day. At the same time, I know that if I stopped interacting with everyone who has knowingly and willingly lied to me so far I'd pretty much be left on my own. To tell you the truth I can't even say that I haven't lied to myself," Laura admitted remembering the day Tawny held the truth out for her in black and white and she refused to take it. "Kind of pitiful isn't it?" Laura shrugged.

"Ms. Roslin…"

"Tawny," Laura cut her off, "finding another doctor won't be necessary. I'm fine with seeing you or your father as long as I have your promise of the truth from now on, however long that may be."

"You do. You absolutely do," Tawny assured her.

"Good. That's good to hear." Laura said with a small but honest smile.

"And as far as Dad goes, I need you to know that as far as the project offshoot was concerned; my father had nothing to do with it initially. Once he was informed of it all four children were already conceived. There wasn't much he could do about Katya except care for her once she was born. I hope you understand that you don't need to be afraid of him. He did help with your creation but not in what was done to you later. I promise you that," Tawny explained.

Laura closed her eyes for a moment feeling the sting of having gone too long without blinking. She still hadn't watched any of the footage that she knew Bill went through. She didn't think she needed to. Ellen had painted a clear enough picture and her own mind had taken the liberty of coming up with image after image that she wished it wouldn't.

"I understand," She said solemnly. As she looked back at Tawny she saw the young woman's expression change. "Something wrong, Doctor?"

Tawny squinted a bit and then shook her head.

"I'm sorry," She said somewhat flustered.” "It's just…I've observed you for most of my life and I never thought you resembled her until after the download…It's strange how much the breath of life made a difference. I just didn't see it before…I think it's the cheekbones," She said with a tilt of her head.

Laura couldn't respond. She looked down into her lap hoping the moment would pass.

When Tawny noticed that she'd made Laura uncomfortable and she hurried to change the subject.

"Anyway, so long as everything else is settled; may I ask how you've been feeling?"

Laura was able to look back at her after a beat.

"I'm…fine. That's all done and over with, at least for now," She rolled her eyes.

"Any pain or cramping from the implant?"

"No."

"That's good,” Tawny replied with a smile but Laura didn't seem as pleased. “Something else wrong?”

Laura bit her lip as she felt some heat rush to her cheeks. She hated to even talk about it but Tawny was her doctor now. She supposed that if she’d dealt with years of grouchy old Cottle giving her breast exams she could talk the sweet young woman beside her who was more than willing to help.

“I guess I still really don’t see the point of it.” Laura had given the doctor the okay to put in the implant the day Ellen had brought her to the lab but since then she’d had second thoughts. That day she had been tired, in pain and humiliation, not to mention groggy. She’d signed off on the procedure in a hurry, just to get out of their faster. Before she knew it she had another piece of their invasive technology inside of her. “I know that I agreed to it at the time but…”

“Is it bothering you?” Tawny interjected.

“Not physically.”

“It’s quite safe, Ms. Roslin,” The doctor confidently assured. “Most women here use them. I’ve had mine since I was sixteen.”

“It’s not that. I’ve been thinking about it and I frankly don’t see why I need it,” Laura crossed her arms and shrugged. “I mean Ellen was a little off the age mark but not by much. I can’t imagine that this body is still capable of conceiving. I’m just not sure why I need the use of a foreign object.”

Tawny nodded in a gesture of understanding.

“You’re probably right. Your overall health assessment placed you in the bracket of being approximately forty-five to fifty. Now my guess is probably on the lower end because of what you’ve been dealing with. With that in mind I recommended the implant as a precaution. An unwanted pregnancy at this stage isn't likely but it’s still important to take preventative measures. For now you’re still ovulating and we can’t just assume that your ova aren't viable. Once you enter perimenopause and your cycle becomes more irregular mistakes can occur. It’s rare but it happens and the simplest solution is the device we implanted during your visit. It’s one hundred percent effective. Pretty good deal if you ask me.”

Laura pinched the bridge of her nose wishing like hell that the conversation weren necessary.

“I’m sorry. You’re right. It’s just...so much has been done to this body without my knowledge, without my consent...It was created and then manipulated with technology that I don’t understand. This implant just feels like another part of it. I was really hoping that I could be free of all that now that I have some say over the matter.”

Tawny winced at Laura’s explanation.

“I can’t imagine, Ms. Roslin. I’m very sorry for all that you’re going through. I know that everything that was done to you before was done without considering your eventual reaction. It was meant to benefit others. What I hope you understand now is that everything regarding your care from now on will be solely to help you. That implant is meant to make your life easier. With that said this is your body and so everything from now on that goes on with it is your choice. The removal is a little more invasive than the implantation procedure but it’s not so bad. If that’s what you choose I will absolutely accept your decision and help you as your doctor. If you choose to keep it then we  can talk about removing the it after you’ve stopped having a regular monthly cycle consistently for one year.”

Laura’s ears were ringing.

“A year,” She echoed.

She could hardly get used to the fact that she might very well still be living there in a year. Considering that this would still be a factor so far into the future was enough to make her go numb.  

“Yes. That’s general protocol,” Tawny confirmed. “Ms. Roslin you’ve agreed to keep me on as your doctor and as your doctor I have to recommend that you keep it for the time being.”

Laura looked down and gave her a slight nod.

"You’re right,” She conceded. “I will."

Tawny smiled, feeling like she’d helped in some small way.

“How are you feeling otherwise?” She asked sitting up a bit straighter.

“I’m fine.”

"You do look a little tired," The doctor winced hoping she hadn't insulted the other woman. “Are you experiencing any trouble sleeping? I could give you something to help," She told her as she gently took Laura's wrist and read her vitals off of her station cuff.

"No. That's alright. Unless you have anything that can stop a person from dreaming," Laura mused with a sigh.

Tawny furrowed her brow and smirked.

"What?" Laura asked, confused by the odd look that the doctor was giving her.

"Nothing," Tawny answered, dropping Laura's wrist. "It's just…Katya said the same thing to me when I saw her heading to PT on my way here. That's kinda funny," She remarked with a shake of her head. "She's been asking my father that her whole life. She says it all the time. We don't have anything for that and she knows it so this morning I offered to punch her lights out and see if that helped."

"I don't suppose the Captain liked that," Laura said with an arched brow, amused at the friendly but feisty banter that the two young women exchanged.

"I don't suppose she did but I hold her flight status in my hands right now so she's sucking up and playing model patient for once," Tawny said lifting herself off of the sofa as Laura rose to join her. "She even returned a sweater she borrowed."

"Well at least that's something."

"Not really. It sort of smelled like perfume and brandy," Tawny said with sheepish grin. "The worst part about letting Katya borrow your clothes is that Ellen borrows hers."

Laura smiled and shook her head. The young doctor had a sweet sense of humor but she couldn't help that it just saddened her more. It seemed like everyone she met had some intricate and loving relationship with her daughter. No matter how flawed each one was, it was still more than she would ever have.

"Oh, Ms. Roslin, as long as you're on board with keeping me as your physician I'd like you to set up a standing breast exam. If you recall from your last visit;  I told you that your DNA analysis shows an over eighty five percent chance of a breast cancer occurrence. With your history in mind I want to make sure that if it happens I can stop it in its tracks before the cancer cells have the time to mutate and organize. That means coming in regularly."

Laura suddenly felt sick. The thought of doing anything even remotely associated with the word cancer was so utterly abhorrent to her that she could hardly answer.

Tawny frowned when saw the look on Laura’s face. She hadn't meant to scare her.

"Remember, Ms. Roslin, I told you that we can cure it in most cases but that treatment intensifies the later it's caught. It may never happen and I hope that it doesn't but if it does I want to catch it early."

Laura nodded. She'd been a fool once before. She'd allowed herself to live in denial about it and too many other things until they were all suddenly out of her control. She'd done it to herself too many times in too many ways.

"You're right,” She agreed. “That’s fine.”

"Good," Tawny said looking at her station cuff and tapping in a few directives. "Might as well get you on a schedule. Let's see," The doctor mumbled speaking mostly to herself, "An eighty five percent chance of occurrence, figuring in otherwise fine health at the approximate physical age of…forty-five to fifty, we think ," She teased hoping it would lighten the awkwardness that Laura obviously still felt over her new body's estimated age. “How about for now we'll just have you come in on the first Tuesday of every fourth month starting next month?"

Laura narrowed her eyes.

"Every four months? Isn't that excessive?"

"Not really, Ms. Roslin. You'd be surprised just how early we can detect it. I have Kat come every twelve weeks," Tawny told her. "BRCA1 is a serious gene mutation as I'm sure you understand."

She knew ethically she shouldn't have mentioned Katya’s standing appointment but there was something driving her to share the bit of information. Maybe she was trying to jar her new patient into understanding just how important the matter was. Besides, she knew that it wouldn't get out. From what she'd heard the two women weren't even speaking. If it came back to bite her in the ass Tawny figured she'd deal with Katya then.

The blood drained from Laura's face as what Tawny told her started to sink in. Katya had inherited the gene mutation. If the poor girl had to get checked out that often at her young age then her chances of developing the same cancer had to be astronomical in comparison. Laura's chances were already high at eighty five percent. If Katya's were more than that then for her it was probably a question of when she would develop the disease, not if. So that was what she'd given her daughter; her cheekbones and genes that could kill.

"Even Kat manages to show up for her breast exams and she's the worst patient I've got. It helps that when she misses an appointment Ellen drags her in by the ear," Tawny said trying to make light of the serious topic."So do I have to find someone to drag you too?" She said with a wink.

Laura tried a smile that faded almost as quickly as it materialized.

"No. I'll drag myself. First Tuesday…I've got it."

"Good," Tawny smiled as she stood up from her seat. "I want to thank you for giving me the chance to explain myself, Ms. Roslin. I just want you to know that I'm available to you at any time. I mean it. Day or night. Not just for head colds and bandages either. It must be strange being here all of a sudden and knowing so few people. So much is happening. I can't say I'll relate but I can offer to listen."

Laura was touched by her thoughtfulness. It was the first time that a stranger had truly reached out to her since she'd been there. She wasn't sure she would take Tawny up on it but her sweet words in some ways made her think of Billy. The last time she was alone and surrounded by chaos another young soul had been the first to reach out to her and he'd helped her so much.

"Thank you for that, Doctor. Truly," She said with an appreciative smile.

"Yes, Ma'am," Tawny nodded making her way to the hatch." Oh and about those dreams; you should try going to the gym in the late afternoon. Some extra physical activity later in the day might help you have a less restless night’s sleep," She suggested. "I can arrange for the officers gym to be cleared if you want some privacy. I'd just need some prior notice," She offered as she opened the hatch.

"Maybe I'll take you up on that," Laura answered.

"You should. It was very nice to speak with you today, Ms. Roslin."

"It was nice to speak with you, Tawny…And you can call me, Laura."

Tawny nodded.

"Laura. I'll see you soon," She said stepping over the hatch, "Zài jiàn, Vladi," Tawny called waving over to the centurion.

When Laura saw the machine cock its bullet head in return she quickly shut the hatch.

She'd try the book again.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR C

MILITARY RECREATION ROOM

PHYSICAL THERAPY UNIT

YEAR: 2315

"That fucking hurts, Blazer!"

"Just relax and let me move it as far as it will go."

"You're gunna snap my neck."

"I am not. Relax."

"Let's see you relax when I put my hands around your throat."

Katya sat on a low padded bench with Blazer at her back. The PT room was empty and their voices echoed when they raised them above a civil tone.

"Koshka, chill the hell out. I know it hurts. If you want Tawny to okay you to get back in the cockpit then you're going to have to get your range of motion back. Besides, I need you to be able to look all the way to the left or right to efficiently watch me get blown to bits by a bot."

"Don’t say that, Blazer,” Katya warned.

Usually she wouldn't mind the dark humor but with the last attacks being only days apart it wasn't the time for it. She was beginning to get back the old feeling of constant fear that she had as a child during a time when combat was the norm.

"It was weird out there this time, Koshka. Something's up. Look down for me," He told her as he pinched the sides of her neck where it met the base of her skull.

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"I dunno. It just was. They were messing with us. At one point it looked like they were retreating and then boom ; Tigerlily and Iceman were gone. I hope you're back out there with us next time. Luna Force needs you."

"I hope so too, but if I don't stop having dizzy spells Tawny's not gunna care if I can spin my head around in a full three-sixty."

"It's lingering from the concussion and probably from the meds too. Put your left arm out and lean your head to right," He instructed. "Once the pain starts to go away and you're not so drugged up the dizziness will stop. You'll get there. You look good, Cap. Temple's healing nice and you feel a little better today don't you?" He asked helping her stretch her tight muscles.

He grimaced when he heard something pop but Katya didn't seem to feel it.

"Yeah I do, in comparison to feeling like total garbage the last few days. I'm just so damn tired. Those meds are giving me some fucked up dreams. My back feels better I guess."

"That's a start. Now do the same with the right," He instructed helping to ease her into the new position, "What kinda dreams?"

"I dunno. Weird ones. I can't remember," She lied.

"Then how do you know they're fucked up and weird?" He accused.

"Shut up, Blaze," She scowled in a mixed reaction to the strain on her neck and Blaze calling her out.

Her nightmares had become a real problem since her accident. While she'd always had hyper real dreams they'd taken on foreboding and sometimes morbid themes lately. She was sick of waking up drenched in sweat and out of breath. The last two nights Ellen had woken to find her taking midnight showers just to cool down.

"Heard your folks are headed to the basestar today."

"Yeah, they are. It's been awhile since they went there."

"What's up with that?" Blaze asked as he put some pressure on her outstretched arm.

"I don't know," She winced. "I asked them and they said it was only maintenance. They said Margot has it under control. Alexi says he's got a weird feeling."

"Yeah well you can tell Alexi that I know exactly how he feels," Blaze said shaking his head.

"Saul and Ellen said it's nothing," Katya weakly defended. "They said we're all probably nervous about going to Beta and that because of the recent attacks we're all just on edge. They're probably right. Anyway, they're more concerned about all the BS with Roslin and Adama," She said with a huff.

"What's going on with all that anyway? Alexi said you tore that woman a new one. Did you really tell her to fuck off? Tilt your head back," He said gently tipping her head at the chin with the pads of his fingers.

"Ughh! Damn this sucks, Blaze!" She groaned. "Kind of…well…not in so many words…but I did tell her to get lost… This hurts!"

"Good. It's supposed to! So that couldn't have gone over well with Tigh," He said keeping her in position.

"Oh, he screamed at me pretty good."

"Damn. Little kitten's in the dog house, huh?"

Katya rolled her eyes at his lame joke.

"So, now what?" Blazer asked.

"Now, nothing. I don't know. Ellen made me promise that I wouldn't blow Roslin off if she ever came to me but…I doubt that's going to happen."

"Why don't you go to her?"

"Because I don't want to. She had some nasty things to say about me and Elle. I mean…I get it…we aren't the easiest people to get along with…"

"You don't say?" The lieutenant teased.

"I still don't want her talking to Ellen like that."

"Agreed. Ellen’s the closest I’ve ever come to having a mom too. I sure wouldn't stand to listen to anyone badmouth her. So was the Admiral included in the fuck off directive?" Blazer chided again.

"No, but he went with her anyway. I understand that. She needs him. He's all she's got. Kinda sucked to see him go though. I sort of like talking to him. I haven't seen either of them since. At first I was glad but...I dunno. Ellen kinda got me thinking about some stuff."

"Like what? Lean up and relax your neck."

When Katya sat up straight Blazer went to work rubbing at her sore shoulders. She thanked the universe for Cylon hands for the second time that week. Ellen's hands had worked magic on her aching back but even the lesser hybrid variety were amazingly strong and deliberate. Blazer was good at what he did. While Katya was busy as a teen training in the lab, Blazer was studying athletic medicine and anatomy. Unlike her biochemistry skills, his training still came in handy. Though his main duty was as a fighter pilot he worked with injured colleagues as a physical therapist when needed.

"I don't know,” Katya considered. “Ellen just has a way of making me see things differently sometimes. She said a lot of things. She asked me to be open to the possibility of connecting with them. She made me promise not to turn Roslin away if she ever decides she wants to see me again. She said that she didn't want me to punish Laura in her defense."

"Ellen's a good woman. She's crazy as shit, a little aggressive with the ass pinching, but she's a good woman. On this at least, I think you should listen to her. Does this hurt?" Blaze asked, working his thumb under her shoulder blade.

"Yeah…but…it's good," She told him in a strained voice followed by an involuntary grunt. "Is it weird that I hate her and feel bad for her at the same time?" Katya asked biting at her bottom lip.

"Roslin? No. I guess not. It's a weird situation. I don't think you hate her though, Koshka. Hate's a strong word. It should be reserved for bots and tofu loaf day in the mess hall," He said matter-of-factly.

"She didn't like me much before. She may hate me now."

"I don't think so," Blaze said shaking his head.

"Why not?"

"Because, I don't think you can really hate your own kid, no matter how much you want to. I don't think it works like that," He cocked his head to the side as he worked at a knot.

"Yeah, but I don't think she thinks of me as her kid."

"Maybe not. Maybe so. You don't know, cause' you told her to fuck off," He reminded pressing into the tight muscle.

" Ughhh, ease up, Blaze ," She warned, "And I didn't say fuck off exactly," Katya defended. Blazer lightly laughed behind her. They were both quiet for a while; the only soft sounds coming from Katya as the lieutenant massaged her neck. "Blaze?" She started but then hesitated, "Do you...ever think of having your own kids?"

His hands stilled for a moment before he took up his work again with a sigh.

"I dunno, Cap. Maybe if I live long enough without getting blown to shit by a flying chromed bastard. Then I have to find a nice girl who's genetics can make up for my own bunk clone-kid shortcomings," He said in a typically musing voice, but Katya could tell there was a bitterness and sense of embarrassing inferiority behind it.

She knew the feeling.

"You've got a better shot than we do," She mumbled softly.

Though she knew she had Ellen’s total empathy and understanding Katya couldn't help but be a little resentful of her tactics the night of their talk. Now the notion was suddenly always present, taking up root in her daily thoughts and weaving its way into her nightly dreams. She'd been repressing it for most of her life and now Ellen had harshly uncovered something that wasn't ready to see the light of day.

"You two knew that going in, Kat," Blaze said in a low voice as he gave a gentle pat to her shoulder.

"I know," She replied in a near whisper.

"Hey you're still coming to Beta, right? I mean, if you feel okay?" He asked quickly changing the subject.

"Yeah I'll be there. You were there for me, I'll be there for you," She rattled off.

"How sweet."

"I'm trying to be supportive, stupid jackass," She said trying to turn her head to face him, but he stopped her with feather light nudge to her jaw.

"I know, I know. I appreciate it. I'm just sort of anxious. I'm heading over tomorrow."

" Tomorrow ? It's three days away."

"I'm gunna visit my dad's family before everything goes down."

"We'll come over with the Colonel," She assured him.

"Good. Hey Cap…Margot said you guys prepped the Roslin-Adama cabin, like with clothes and shampoo and some pointless paper book and crap…What do I…"

"Don't worry Blaze," She said cutting him off, "The Beta lab staff took care of it, I'm sure," She added with a roll of her eyes.

"I just thought it would be nice," He shrugged. "I didn't know you did that."

"It didn't do me any good."

"Yeah, but I bet it did them some good whether you know it or not."

"Maybe."

Blazer moved in front of her and tapped at his cuff until a bright red line segment projected onto the gym floor.

"Walk this line. I wana watch your balance."

"Stop shaking it and I will," She said slowly getting up from the bench and moving to the front of the beam of light," It's gunna be kinda weird…Helo and Athena…they look like they're about Tawny's age," She considered as she walked one foot in front of the other.

"I know. It's messed up. I guess I always thought Ellen was going to figure things out long before I crept up on the age their bodies would be," He considered. "But I figure maybe he can look at me more as a kid brother…or something. Go again the other way," He instructed motioning with his index finger as he kept his cuffed hand steady.

"Ellen said Athena wouldn't have aged anyway. She didn't design the Eights to do that," Katya added as she walked back.

She knew that Blaze already understood that, but there was a need for reassurance in the air.

"I guess all I can do is try to make them comfortable…and try not to tell them to fuck off."

"I tofu loaf you, Blazer," Katya said stopping at the end of the line and giving him a sardonic smile.

"Oh, you do not. You love me, Koshka. I know it," Blazer said with a big grin. "We're done for the day," He announced turning off the line projection, "Buck is gunna take over PT with you and Slip-Shot while I'm gone. If things are calm enough we'll try some exercise on Beta, okay?"

"Yeah, okay."

"Don't blow it off just cause it's Buck."

"Ellen won't let me," Katya huffed.

"Good. Hey maybe if you go a full day without any dizzy spells you can try some of your ballet. As long as you don't overdo it the stretching would be good for your range of motion. It'll be really good for your balance too. Help get your center of gravity back. Plus, we miss your twinkle toes days," Blaze teased.

"Sure you do. I'll keep it in mind. I'm going home."

"Alright, Koshka, you did good."

"See you later, L.T."

"Later," Blazer called as she walked toward the locker room. "Katya," He said suddenly stopping her. She turned back to look at him and she could tell he was trying his best to replace his typically playful smile with an honest one." I know it hurts sometimes, but try not to stress what you can't change. There's some stuff you just can't fix," He said as his grin faded," But the stuff you can…I dunno…that might be worth the sweat," He shrugged.

Katya took a deep breath and nodded before she let it out and turned to leave once again.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 126B: ASSIGNMENT; ROSLIN/ADAMA

YEAR: 2315

" Laura wake up ", Bill tried as he hovered over her trembling form. She was obviously sleeping but totally stricken with another nightmare. " Wake up, Laura! Come on ," He said kneeling by the bedside and gently shaking her with one hand over her chest and his other on her shoulder.

He'd come home to find her tossing and turning asleep on their rack.

When he’d arrived her face was wet with tears. By the dampness on her pillow he could tell that it had been going on for a while.

He felt awful about getting so frustrated with her earlier. He shouldn't have left her there on her own for so long. When he left Saul's cabin with yet another burden on his back he just couldn't bring himself to return to home to her. He was just so frustrated with the thought of sitting around and doing nothing. He was going stir crazy and on top of it he had something new to share with her after what he’d learned from the Tighs. He wouldn't keep another secret from Laura. He decided that he wanted to know what he was going to say about Katya’s supposed abilities before he saw her again. After about an hour of wandering around the military side of the station Bill's marine guard had offered to get clearance to take him to Senchi. He was pleased with the corporal's suggestion and after the okay came back from the officer's platoon leader Bill soon found himself with a beer in his hand. He was able to collect his thoughts at the bar and even got some takeout to bring home for Laura's lunch, but when he'd come home and found her he regretted the entire afternoon.

"Laura, it's okay. Open your eyes. It's me," He pleaded leaning down to kiss her cheek.

He could taste the bitter salt of her tears on his lips.

With a loud gasp her eyes finally flew open.

"Laura, calm down. You're okay…" He tried to reassure her.

Laura’s hand rushed to her chest. Her heart felt as if it was about to beat its way out. She opened her mouth to say something but no words would come out.

"Shhh. It's alright,” He told her. “Just give yourself a second."

Laura licked her lips and sucked in a deep breath.

"I'm okay," She whispered as she exhaled.

Bill wasn't sure if she was telling him or telling herself.

"Laura, sit up."

He gave her his hand and she pulled herself up on the bed and slid over to make room for him.

"I don't suppose you're going to tell me what that one was about," He said as he sat on the side of the bed.

It was the middle of the day and he knew she wouldn't divulge a thing unless she was half asleep in the darkness with her back to him. That's how he heard all of her little confessions these days; all of her little questions and ideas that died with the morning.

Though Laura’s dreams had become a common occurrence she'd never looked frightened before. Some left her pensive, others sad but Bill hadn't seen one cause fear in her eyes. This time he was worried.

Laura didn't respond. She wasn't sure how. She'd been dreaming vividly lately but none were like the nightmare she’d just woken from. Some of her dreams were filled with strange and vaguely familiar images that had her waking up missing something that she'd never even had to begin with. Some were even nice while they lasted; playing out fantasies and ideas that she never knew she’d longed for. Sometimes the dreams even made her happy until she woke up and realized they were in fact just dreams. This time wasn't the same. She'd seen and felt things she couldn't possibly understand, dark things. This time she was terrified.

"Laura, it's not going to stop until you let yourself have some resolution," Bill started, "I talked to Saul and Ellen this morning. They gave every indication that they are all willing…"

"You don't know what you're talking about, Bill," She bit, cutting him off.

He didn't. Not this time.

Bill tensed beside her and then nodded in some kind relenting defeat that made her feel even worse.

Despite her harsh response he scooted closer to her and took her in his arms. He could feel that she was still shaking.

"We need to talk," He whispered. "And before you say no; it's not about that...not really," He said before kissing the top of her head and breathing in her scent. He almost didn't want to let his breath out. Even the way she smelled made his heart swell. Cylon blood, emotional mess; he didn't mind, as long as he could be close enough to inhale her essence like this for as long as this life lasted. "There are some things I want to tell you, but not yet. Let's just…let's relax for a second," He said still trying to sooth her.

She knew that she was so lucky to have him, to exist where he existed. She had him. He was devoted so completely to her she and yet she still felt so alone.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 119B: ASSIGNMENT; TIGH

YEAR: 2315

"Yekaterina, wake up," Alexi shouted worriedly at his wife. He'd found her out of breath and shaking on her rack in her old room still deeply asleep. "Nichevò spat, parà vstavà, Katya, get up, baby," He said holding her steady by her lean quivering arms. "Katya open your eyes. It's alright, myshka," He tried to comfort her to no avail, " Vstavaite !" He shouted, finally roughly rousing her from what had been beginning to seem like a near trance state.

Katya’s eyes opened in fright but within mere moments the fear that they held was replaced by sorrow. Tears quickly flilled them and began spilling out down the sides of her face.

" Katya… " Alexi started.

She grabbed for his large arms pulling him down to where she lay on the bed.

"Alexi," She rasped still out of breath. "I'm so sick of this," She cried closing her wet eyes tightly.

He watched her chest rise and fall glistening from the perspiration that had accumulated during her fretful sleep.

"Take deep breaths, Katya," He told her. As he smoothed her hair back he noticed a cup on the shelf above her rack. "Sit up" He instructed holding his forearms out to brace her. "Carefully," He added still wary of her recovery. Once she was in a sitting position Alexi reached for the cup and handed it to her. "Take small sips," He said running his hand up and down the expanse of her back.

She sipped at the tepid water and relaxed into her husband's soothing touch. Soon her breathing had calmed to a tolerable level and Alexi took the cup away, putting it on the floor by the bed.

"What was it this time?" He asked softly.

She shook her head and gulped.

" Oh, what's the difference? They're all awful and none of them will go away ," She said breathily.

Alexi frowned at her answer. He'd seen the same thing happen to her a few times over the last few days as she napped but Ellen told him the nights were always worse. He'd seen Katya wake from frightening dreams before but never at this frequency or intensity. Saul and Ellen had started to compare it to her first few months in their care and Alexi knew she'd be fraught with nightmares of her father's murder back then.

"Maybe if you talk about them they will go away," He suggested, keeping his rhythm as he rubbed at her back.

"Nikak nyet, Alexi," She said shaking her head. "I don't want to talk about them. It's bad enough I have to experience them while I'm asleep. Why force myself while I'm awake?"

He shook his head at her stubborn and faulted logic.

"As soon as you can do without the pills, Katya, they will go away," He assured her but she wasn't as confident of that anymore.

Initially she had blamed her medication for the sudden influx of nightmares. They'd started her first night in the ward after all, but now she wasn't so sure. Eager for a more restful night’s sleep before her first session of PT Katya had tongued her meds the night before, flushing the evidence in the head and leaving Ellen none the wiser. She thought she would see if trying to sleep through the pain was less bothersome than being woken by the unrelenting images in her head. That night the pain was only incorporated into her nightmare. She'd woken drenched in sweat in near agony. After a cold shower she'd given in and taken her pills after all. Her activity had woken Ellen who thought she'd found her going for a double dose.

"What are you doing here anyway? Are my parents home?"

"It's past 1700. I just got off shift. They aren't back yet. They asked me to come straight here when I got off duty. They said you weren't answering your messages. Everyone got held up on the basestar but they’ll be home soon. I figured you and I could order dinner and have it waiting for them," He told her running a finger down her cheek.

Katya covered her cuff with the palm of her hand. She knew that when she finally looked at it she would see about a dozen worried messages from Ellen.

"I didn't sleep well last night. After I got home from PT I showered and then I guess I just dozed off."

Alexi could see the exhaustion in her face. Though she wasn't developing dark circles quite yet she just looked drawn and her eyes were so glassy

"Myshka, I want you to consider coming back home. Maybe if you're by my side you won't dream as much. I'll be there when you fall to sleep at night," He offered sweetly.

"I want to, Alexi. I do miss sleeping next to you."

"You can still stay here during the day if Ellen wants to keep an eye on you. I know that I can't be around all the time. Just come sleep at home. I'll bring you here in the mornings before I report."

Alexi wasn't sure that his presence would truly help her nightmares but he couldn't stand knowing that she was waking in such an awful state every night without him there to do anything for her.

"I'll be home soon. I promise. Maybe tomorrow. I really do feel better. PT went well. The more I move the better I feel. It's sitting around that gets me stiff."

"Ellen says that you're still getting faint now and then," Alexi challenged.

Katya rolled her eyes. It irked her so much when the family spoke about her amongst themselves.

"Blaze says it's probably the medication. I'm going to see Tawny about it before we head to Beta."

"That's probably a good idea. You know that we aren't going if she says you're not up for it," He warned.

"I will be," She assured him. "I am already. Blaze said I can even try some ballet if I go a day without a dizzy spell. He says that it might be good for me. I was thinking of contacting Madame Lobanova. See if she will do a session with me. Maybe get your cousin Yuri to join too," She posed with a small smile.

" Lobanova? ” He cringed. “That ancient witch is still alive?"

"Lex, don’t talk about her like that.”

“She’s evil.”

“She’s not. She’s tough.”

“She talks to you and Yuri like you’re garbage.”

That’s her job. Your old drill sergent speaks to you like you’re trash and she’s one of your best friends. Yuri and I wouldnt be half the dancers we are today if Labanova didnt push us. Besides she’s like a hundred and twenty five. I want to get in as many sessions with her as I can before she’s not around anymore.”

Alexi rolled his eyes.

"Just don't push yourself Katya. You have me worried," He said shaking his head.

"Don't be," Katya said as she took his hand.

"How can I not?"

Katya smirked and shrugged.

"Well for now maybe I can distract you with thoughts of something else?" She posed with a raised eyebrow as she took his hand and placed it on her tigh.

"Yet another reason why I miss you in our bed, myshka. I'm anxiously awaiting your return," He said with a half musing sigh.

"We don't have to wait, malysh," She told him as she reached for his other hand.

"Katya, c'mon," He groaned, trying to deter her teasing.

"I'm serious," She said more forcefully. "I'm right here. So are you. It's been too long."

"Your neck, your back. You're in no condition," Alexi argued against her sudden allurement.

"So we won't do anything fancy. Shouldn't I be the one to decide what kind of condition I'm in and what I can handle?" She asked pulling him closer and reaching for the waist of his uniform.

"You should but you have a lousy, piss poor track record, Katya," He told her, gathering her hands and stopping their pursuit.

"I deserve that," She admitted but her compliance didn't last long. "But I deserve this too. C'mon, Alexi. I've been in so much pain. Help me find something to feel good about," She nearly begged him.

He was starting to waver. She could see in his eyes.

"Come home tonight,” He posed.

"I'm asking you now ," She said grasping his hands again.

"Saul and Ellen will be back soon. It's a bad idea."

"It's been over a week, Alexi. Neither one of is going to last very long. Besides, it's not like they haven't caught us before. They always get over it," She laughed.

The awkward conundrum went both ways in the Tigh household.

" Stop , Katya," Alexi winced remembering the first few times he'd been caught in her bed. The very first time he'd earned a punch straight to the gut from Saul and Ellen never looked at him the same way again. "Bringing that up isn't helping your cause."

"Does this?" She teased leaning up onto her knees and moving in to kiss him long and hard. Determined to make her point she took one of Alexi's hands and slowly slipped it into the front of her pants encouraging him to feel how much she wanted him."Don't deny me this Alexi, not now. I can't take it," She nearly purred into his neck as she licked and kissed the skin there.

Katya felt his strong nimble fingers between her thighs as they started to move delicately against her and she decided that cylon hands, hybrid or not, were the closest thing she had to a religion.

"Dammit, Yekaterina," He moaned pulling his hand from her. She gave a little whimper as the contact was lost but soon he was picking her up so that he could gently lay her back down across the bed. "If you get hurt, if you get dizzy, if you…" He trailed off unable to finish his thought as she wet her lips and smiled up at him.

Her grin grew, amused at his loss of words. She was pleased with herself as he abandoned his warning and tugged at the waistband of her pants. He pulled them over her hips and slid them down her long smooth legs. Katya's satisfaction with her luring ways reached its height when Alexi went for his own belt and she heard the sound of his zipper pull.

"That's it, malysh," She said as he finally leaned over her. "Just help me forget for a little while."

Chapter 20: Chapter 20

Chapter Text

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth
CORRIDOR B
MILITARY QUARTERS
CABIN 119B: ASSIGNMENT; TIGH
YEAR: 2315
"Katya won't go to Laura on her own. We're sure of that, and to be honest we won't force her. Not after what's happened. We're sorry, Bill, but it's how we feel," Saul said leaning over in his seat. "We've each spoken with her and we know that Katya would listen to what Laura had to say if ever she decided to go to her."

"It's true, Bill,” Ellen added, hovering behind Saul’s armchair. “Katya won't turn her away. I can't promise much else but I know that she's willing to see her again.”

"That's just it,” Bill said with a groan. “I can't get Laura to do that either. She's convinced that this is what's best but it's not. It's killing her inside. She can't sleep. She wakes up every night from these intense dreams and now she's starting to have nightmares. I know that it's because of the stress over what happened between them."

Saul raised his brow and looked over his shoulder toward his wife. Her expression was as intrigued as his was.

Bill watched the exchange with narrow eyes. He was on edge around the couple. He felt like they were always just about to lay another mind blowing revelation on him and he didn't know if he could take another.

"Did you talk to Laura about what we discussed?" Saul prompted. "Ya know, about the…unique genetics she's passed down to Kat?"

Bill looked down at his lap and puffed out his breath.

"Yeah. I did," He nodded.

"And?" Ellen urged, annoyed with his vague answer. "What was her reaction? Did she give you any indication that she might recognize some cylon facets within herself?"

Bill shook his head.

"She hardly had a reaction, Ellen. It was like I told her what time it was. She heard me but she wouldn't respond to it. She wouldn't talk about it. She had a hell of a nightmare last night though. I think the news might have scared her and now she wants that centurion away from our cabin ASAP, Saul. When I left I told her I was coming over here to tell you to get rid of it. Do me a favor and don't make a liar out me."

When Bill told Laura the news she'd gone rigid in his arms. She'd calmly excused herself and escaped into the privacy of the head. She'd come out almost an hour later totally composed but with the simple request that Vladi be removed. Without another word she'd gone to bed. Her delayed reaction came in the middle of the night when her trembling cries roused Bill from his sleep.

"It's strange that you mention that, Bill," Saul told him." The nightmares, I mean. Katya can't sleep through the night worth a damn lately. She's doing a lot better physically but she's having awful dreams too. Ellen wakes up with her sometimes twice a night."

Ellen got an uneasy feeling knowing that both women were experiencing the same thing.

"We thought it was her medication,” She started to explain “But now she’s lessened her dosage and they seem to be getting worse.”

"Where is she anyway? More PT?" Bill asked picking up his water from the coffee table and leaning back on the sofa cushion before taking a sip.

"Sort of," Ellen answered with a sigh.” She went to meet her old ballet instructor. Blaze thought it would help her to regain her balance and range of motion. She's over on the civilian side of the station at the Alpha Theater."

"Is that really wise?" Bill asked looking skeptical, "Is she really up for that already?"

"She says she is," Saul answered, "I was against it. She nearly fainted after dinner last night. She tossed her cookies too. She got sick all over the daman place. I thought she would sleep in today after the night she had but this morning before either of us was up she had a new pair of toe shoes printed and her hair was all pinned up. She had her mind set on it. Neither one of us could stop her. Alexi wasn't here."

Ellen groaned loudly and ran a frustrated hand through her hair.

"I know for a fact that Blaze told her to wait until the dizzy spells had been gone for more than a day or so but she got it in her head that this would help and so that's where she is now. She says it hurts to stay still, whatever that means," She complained with an exasperated shrug.

Saul gave a low groan in response.

"If she passes out on that stage I might actually break her neck this time," He grumbled. "We have a download in just about forty-eight hours and she better be there. I don't need a sick kid in the ward while I'm over on Beta helping you suck people back from the great beyond," He said turning to look at his wife.

Ellen grimaced at his harsh use of words.

Bill shook his head.

"That girl doesn't listen to anyone does she?" He remarked.

Both Tighs shot Bill a defensive glare but it wasn't like they could claim otherwise.

"I’ll tell ya what,” Saul started. “Alexi lost his top when she got sick after dinner last night. I'm not sure what upset him so much. I couldn't understand half of what he was shouting at her. He's insisting that she goes to the ward for a follow up when she gets back from the theater. He told her that if she refuses he'll just pick her up and take her there. That's one way to deal with her."

Ellen frowned.

"She's supposed to go in tomorrow morning to get cleared for the Beta trip anyway but Alexi doesn't want her to wait. He's right. It's probably best."

The previous night Saul and Ellen had returned home from the basestar not long after Katya and Alexi's hurried union. Ellen found the young couple napping in Katya’s room. Though Saul was oblivious Ellen had her suspicions as to what had transpired not long before their homecoming. When she saw Alexi's temper flair over his wife's after-dinner illness Ellen considered her hunch mostly confirmed. Katya was pushing her limits left and right and Alexi was understandably angry at her for it. Like Saul, Ellen had only caught every other word of the couple's E-fed infused argument. She was only half paying attention to their bickering as she attended to Katya who was dizzy and sick to her stomach after the meal. She'd caught enough to be sure that Katya would most likely be returning to her own cabin sooner rather than later. Ellen would miss having her home and she would worry but she wouldn't stop her from going. It was time.

"About the download," Bill interrupted, "Laura's still insisting on going to Beta and I really want you both to reconsider. She wants to be there for Helo and Sharon and I agree with her. We know what it was like. Think about it. You may need us there," He posed.

Though Laura was remaining silent on certain topics she'd stayed steadily insistent on the trip to Beta Station. She said that she didn't want anyone else going through what she did without the support of someone who understood. The people of Earth Orbit wanted their help and Laura saw this as their first chance to start.

Saul scowled.

"After what you just told me do you really think Laura is in any state to be flying to another station and watching all of that go down?" He challenged.

"Is Katya?" Bill retorted.

Saul's face fell.

Protocol had never allowed more than two of the bodies to be on any one station at any given time. It was a safety precaution and stopping the practice now with the recent combat in Orbit would be frowned upon by the EOC to say the very least.

"The kids really want to be there for each other, Bill. It's different," Ellen told him. "Blaze was there for Katya and she really wants to be there for him too. All four kids are expected to attend each resurrection as representatives of their home stations, even Alexi though he unfortunately doesn't have his own birth parents resurrection to attend any longer. This is for your safety.”

"Ellen you're keeping us on lockdown like we're prisoners. Besides, how do you know that whatever our purpose is won't be realized unless we’re together? Did you ever think of that?" Bill asked in an irritated tone.

"Of course. There are plans to safely unite the six of you once everyone is conscious. Until then it's just too risky," Ellen explained. "Anyway, Saul's right. Maybe Laura shouldn't witness the download process. I know that she's had a lot of issues with her own resurrection. Katya is different. These kids have been waiting their whole lives for this.I won't let Kat go if she's really not well but if she's up to it then she's expected to be there. We are going to do our best to make sure Katya rests up before the trip. Maybe you should encourage Laura to take it easy too," Ellen proposed as her husband suddenly got up out of his seat and walked toward the hatch. "Where the hell are you going, Saul?"

"I'm going to make sure that they both have some godsdamn peace of mind before the download," Saul said gruffly in a determined voice.

"How the frak are you going to do that?" Bill called after Saul as he opened the hatch.

"I am taking Ms. Roslin to the ballet."

LOCATION: BETA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth
CORRIDOR B
BETA MILITARY LABORATORY FACILITY
YEAR: 2315

 

The facility was typically frigid and Blaze wished that his name was enough to warm his hands as he stood looking through the cold glass of the Beta stasis chambers. He'd arrived aboard the station early in the morning but he'd taken his time getting to the lab as his nerves began to dominate over his usually positive outlook. Once in the lab Blaze felt oddly out of place. Unlike Katya, Blaze was only an occasional visitor of his parents. As a child he spent time with his father in the lab much like Katya had with Isakoff but after Dr. Bishop's death Blaze moved to Gamma Station to live with the Petrovs. After the move his attendance became far less frequent; visiting only when Dr. Petrov traveled to Beta and dragged him along. Once Petrov was murdered and Blaze moved to Alpha under the supervision of the Tighs visiting had become his own decision and one he found many excuses to avoid. Blaze had always been excited to meet his birth parents but watching their bodies floating lifeless on display held little appeal to him.

As the day drew near the lieutenant found his excitement turning to anxiety and suddenly he wished he'd really taken the time to prepare himself for what was about to happen. According to the Tighs and several passages from the history found recorded on the Quartz Tablets, Helo and Athena were champions of love and unity. They were a symbol of the joining of two races. They sired the dawn of a new race of human on Earth. Ellen had once told him that the fleet would never have made it to Earth without the couple's bravery, love and message of trust. He was honored to be the son of two such souls. He just didn't know if they would feel the same way about him.

"Happy to be home?" A mild voice came from behind the pilot startling him out of his thoughts.

Blaze turned to see Dr. Le Blanc coolly smiling at him.

"Doc. I didn't know you were here already," He said returning her smile.

"I came in on the last shuttle from Delta yesterday evening," She said, joining him and glancing toward the tanks.

"Margot with you?" He asked silently hoping that his friend might already be on station.

Le Blanc shook her head.

"She will be first thing in the morning," The doctor said crossing her arms. "She traveled to the basestar yesterday. She needed time to catch up on a few things back on Delta before she joined us."
Blaze nodded with some disappointment. He knew that they would all be there the next day but he found himself wanting the company of the only four people in the world he knew would understand. With his friends by his side there were jokes to be made and laughs to be had. He could make light of his sudden apprehension if he only had his target audience by his side.

"Everything alright over on the baseship?" He asked knowing he wouldn't get a truthful answer out of the woman.

A call from Alexi the previous night told him that even the Tighs had been tight lipped on the subject when they returned from the cylon ship. Blaze knew that if they weren't talking Le Blanc sure as hell wouldn't.

"Nothing that couldn't be handled," She answered but Blaze knew better than to trust her sincerity. "The tanks have already begun to depressurize," She gestured in an obvious attempt to steer the conversation.

She glanced in Blazer's direction when he only nodded silently in response

"You don't seem yourself, Lieutenant," She observed.

Blaze shrugged.

"I'm sorry to be so quiet, Doc. I'm just thinking, I guess."

"I suppose you feel you have a lot to consider," She said with a smirk.

He glanced back at her with his peripheries. Her tone was slightly condescending and he didn't appreciate it.

"You know, Lt. Bishop, it's important that you and your peers are there for the download. The same will be true when the time comes on Delta. It's important for you to be seen."

Blaze narrowed his eyes. He'd heard it all before. He knew what was expected of him and the other three descendants but something about the way she said it this time put him off.

"Be seen?" He asked.

"Yes. It's important that the EOC and other system officials see the four of you at the briefing and know that you will be supportively in attendance through the download just the way you were on Alpha. It's also good to have the media report on your fellowship," The doctor added with a small smile.

"I'm not sure I get it," He grimaced as he watched Le Blanc move closer to the monitors between the tanks and read whatever it was they were outputting.

"It shows that there are no lasting internal negativities from the project offshoot. The citizens should see that. It will help them feel the same way as we move into this next phase."

Over twenty-years later the project offshoot still left a bad taste in the mouths of the Earth Orbit population. The revelation of the four children had been a political nightmare at the time and incited distrust in an already fearful people. Many still had lingering resentments toward their leaders who'd approved the use of their potential savior's bodies in such a strange manner. When the government admitted that the attempt had also been a huge failure it caused an uproar. It had lead to a commission to remove the sacred Quartz Tablets from the protective guard of the government. The vote had passed and their conservation was put into the hands of the people. The tablets now sat on Gamma station under the guard of private civilian security. It was only a symbol but it made the people feel like their fate was at least partially under their own protection.

"No lasting internal negativities…" Blaze repeated. Katya and Alexi were going to love that one. "I'm not sure that's entirely true, Doctor," He said moving his eyes from tank to tank.

"Well it's important that it be seen that way," She answered, turning from the monitors. "The people should see that nothing resulted from that error other than four perfectly nice children who all grew up to be fine young soldiers."

"With all due respect, Ma'am, that's a pretty sugar coated version of the truth."

She nodded in agreement.

"You should know that your obligation only goes that far, Blaze. You live on Alpha. I'm sure you've gotten wind of the recent familial unpleasantness that followed the first download. There is no need for you to involve yourself any further after the Agathon’s resurrection. Maybe you should take a lesson from your friend's experience."

Blaze squinted his eyes. The Captain's ordeal had worried him. It might have even cast a few doubts his way but he wasn't Katya Isakoff. His experience didn't have to be the same as hers.

"I won't lie to these people, Ma'am."

"I'm not suggesting that you do. I'm just proposing that it might be best not to…distract them. At the end of the day the Agathons might be better off without the unfortunate distraction that Roslin and Adama have dealt with."

"Unfortunate distraction? You're talking about Katya, Dr. L," Blaze scowled. "She's not a distraction, she's a person. She's your daughter's best friend. Why would you…"

"I know it sounds harsh, Blaze," Le Blanc interrupted him with a hand to his forearm. "But Katya was a distraction to Mikhail Isakoff, she's been a distraction to the Tighs and now she's a distraction to Roslin and Adama. We don't need these people occupied with anything other than finding their purpose," The doctor insisted.

"You know I doubt Colonel and Mrs. Tigh see Katya as a distraction. She's their daughter the same as Margot is yours…unless that's how you see her too? You do remember that you and your colleagues created us unfortunate distractions."

It took a lot to get Blazer angry but Le Blanc was testing his patience and his manners.

"Of course. So in lies my advice to you. Sometimes it's best to let things just fade away. I'm perfectly aware of my own missteps. Thankfully nature and science always seem to eventually find a way to make up for the mistakes of mankind. Fortunately, the error of your lineage will likely begin and end with the four of you. Your inability to leave a genetic legacy should help the collective memories of the people to fade in time. For you four as well," Le Blanc added. "The burden of who you are doesn't have to be passed down for anyone else to bear."

"No more little distractions," Blaze said as he shook his head in frustration, "I get it."

Blazer bit the inside of his lip. This was the opposite of what he needed. He wanted Katya by his side to distract him with her snide little quips, he wanted Alexi there to rib him, he wanted Margot there to tell him everything was going to be alright. Instead he received the cold and bitter outlook of a doctor whose career had been permanently damaged by his very existence.

"Are you going to give Margot the same advice?" He asked.

"I already have," She said curtly and without missing a beat.

Blaze had never felt worse for poor Margot. She was there on Delta every day to remind this woman of her mistakes. They'd all envied her to a point. She was the only one whose foster parent hadn't been brutally taken from her, the only one who'd never been orphaned. Now Blaze could see she that probably bore her own unique burden.

"Lieutenant, my hope is that soon a solution to our biggest problems will be found. Then any discomfort felt by the people due to four little bumps in the road two decades ago will have been made obsolete and eventually forgotten but until then..." She trailed off when she noticed the appalled look on the young man's face and she cleared her throat. "Your people should see you here; supportive of the government you serve to protect but once these two souls have arrived...well they might do better if you just let them be. Think about it," She said turning to leave.

"I will, Doc. Thanks a lot."

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth
CORRIDOR A
CIVILIAN SECTOR
ALPHA THEATER AND CONCERT HALL
YEAR: 2315

 

"Saul, where the frak are you taking me? I swear we've taken three tramways and two elevators. I didn't know this was going to be a hike," Laura complained as they made their way well into the civilian side of the station.

When he'd come to her cabin asking that she join him Laura was so close to turning him away. As they ventured further and further without reaching a destination she was starting to wish she had. He'd been so convincing, even charming when he asked. It was unlike him. That should have been her first clue.

With Bill gone for the morning she'd forced herself to read a few chapters in her book. She'd made the bed though no one went in the room but them and she'd cleaned the kitchen even though it didn't need it. She was still employing any means of avoidance and distraction and since Bill's newest revelation the day before she'd become even more desperate to ignore her thoughts. She simply couldn't process what he'd told her. She wouldn't; not if she could help it.

"Saul, what are you doing here?" She'd said in a less than welcoming tone.

"Good morning to you too, Laura," Saul greeted caustically.

"Are you here to remove that thing?" She'd asked nodding over to where Vladi stood outside the hatch.

The centurion's head turned a few degrees in their direction and it almost made her slam the door shut in both of their faces.

"No, I'm not," Saul sighed. "But if you want I can replace Vladi. Though, I don't know what the difference is if you can't tell one from the other," He squinted.

She didn't care for his suspicious tone.

"This one seems to have a little too much...interest in me."

"He's just trying to treat you like family, Laura," Saul smirked." I'll switch him out if it means so much to ya but I'm still keeping a centurion posted outside this hatch."

Once Bill told her the news of what she’s supposedly passed down to Katya her fear of the machine grew. She'd tossed away every little trinket he'd given her and started manically over analyzing why it was always so friendly to her. It never so much as looked at Bill. Could it really somehow sense what Bill had told her? She didn't want it around any longer. She wasn't interested in finding out.

"And what if I just don't want a frakking toaster on my doorstep?" She'd said crossing her arms.

"Well then, this just isn't your morning is it?" Saul answered bravely taking a deliberate step forward.

"You know what I mean Saul," She'd defended.

"Laura, that isn't why I'm here. Now why don't you stop worrying about being some sort of second cylon once removed and just forget about it for a while?" He'd teased, making sure she knew they were on the same page. "I came because I was wondering if you'd take a walk with me this morning."

"A walk?"

"Yes. I thought we could talk a bit. There's something I wana show you," He said gaining a wary look from her. “Bill told me that you were hoping to attend the Beta download this weekend. It's coming up. I know we told you both no before but maybe you and I can discuss it a little further?" He attempted trying to get her out of the doorway.

Saul thought Laura seemed about as tired as Katya had that morning. He could see the effects of the nightmares Bill had told him about but her appearance still gave him a strange sense of comfort. He couldn't help but remember how he'd last seen her on the surface of the planet; far too thin and struggling even to stand. As he looked at her now he thought that she looked damned good; a little sleepy but she was healthy and beautiful. Her pond green eyes were clear and her skin was bright, the way he remembered her on New Caprica. They'd worked together back there. Maybe they could work together now.

"Bill's not with you," She'd observed.

"No ma'am. He was but I sent him off to find something to keep himself occupied. Besides, I've already spoken to the Old Man. I want to speak to you. C'mon make an old toaster happy, Roslin," Saul smiled with confidence.

After another minute of apprehension Laura had nodded unsure of what she was agreeing to and she'd left with the Colonel.

Now after a longer trek than she was expecting she was starting to get annoyed. Saul hadn't spoken much as they walked and they had walked an awful lot.

"Can I at least know where you're taking me? For all I know you're going to walk me right out of an airlock."

"Relax, Laura. We're here now and that's your move, not mine," Saul winked. "Right this way," He said, gesturing to a set of large double doors at the end of an open lobby-like area.

Laura looked at the unusual entrance and was surprised to see that its doors were far more ornate than any hatchways she'd seen on station before. Though the civilian side of the station did have more character to it the doors still looked out of place on the vessel. Glancing up she read the words that were projected on the wall over the doorway;
The Alpha Theater and Concert Hall, est. 2200.

"A theater?" She said squinting at Saul.

"Yes, ma'am," He affirmed. "Let's go."

Saul backed himself up against one of the large theater doors and started to lean in to open it when Laura abruptly pulled on his hand to stop him.

"Colonel, wait," She said pointing to a small image screen beside the door. "The screen says it's closed for a private lesson."

Saul rolled his eye and pushed back on the door again.

"Yeah, well I've paid for so many of those private lessons over the years I think I'm entitled to view as many as I want. C'mon, Laura," He said opening the door for her.

As the entrance opened Laura could hear the sounds of a symphony coming from the concert hall and she hesitated to enter. Saul gestured with his hand encouraging her to hurry through. When she finally did he quickly let the door close behind them snuffing out the lobby light. Once inside Laura could tell the music was playing through speakers and far too low and flat to have been coming from the orchestra pit. The seats were empty and the house lights were on but dimmed. On the stage stood two dancers; a man and a woman under the bright lights.

"Keep going," Saul instructed in a low voice as he walked behind Laura.

She turned back and looked at him as if she were about to stop but she kept her stride for a few more paces.

"Here's good," He said directing her to stop as they walked just past the halfway point between the back row and the pit.

He leaned against the wall of the aisle guiding Laura to do the same and promptly gave his attentions to the dancers on the stage.

Laura was still confused but she took his lead and watched the stage as she too settled against the wall.

They were a good distance away but their position gave them a clear enough view. Laura could see the lean muscular arms of the man as he lifted up his partner and placed her back down with ease. She could see the blush satin of the woman's shoes wrapped tightly around her delicate ankles. They looked almost impossible to even stand in but the dancer moved with superb grace as if she were floating on air. She wore a simple black leotard and sheer white tights that emphasized the impressive lines of her body. Her dark hair was pinned up into a large bun and Laura had to smile at the fact that it was almost half the size of her head. When the young woman stopped abruptly amidst her performance to rub at a crick in her neck Laura's smile faded. When the dancer resumed her posture and continued Laura finally realized who she was looking at.

"Why did you take me here?" She asked softly but with anger in her voice.

"Because I thought you might like to watch," Saul answered not taking his eyes off of the dancers. "I thought you might appreciate this sort of thing."

Laura's mouth went dry and she could feel her pulse starting to quicken.

"You know what I mean, Saul. That's Katya up there, isn't it?"

"Sure is," He said proudly as he smiled, still watching her dance.

Laura grew more and more anxious as she stood there. Saul seemed so at ease. He looked happy. He didn't seem to care at all that she was upset with him

"You lied to me," She accused.

"Cool your jets and keep your voice down, Laura. I did not. I told you I wanted to show you something," He said glancing at her and then back to the stage.

"You said you wanted to talk about the Beta download," She shot back harshly, careful to keep her volume low in spite of its heated inflection.

"And I still do," Saul added beaming as the arrangement ended.

He had to stop himself from applauding out of habit.

Laura watched Saul's totally distracted expression and then nervously looked back at the stage where the young man and woman seemed to be standing at ease and talking amongst themselves now that the music had ceased.

"I'm leaving," She told him, uncaring of whether she had his attentions or not.

"You shouldn't," He said finally looking back at her.

"Why the hell not?"

"We came all this way. Besides these are two of the most talented kids on the station. There isn't a lot of art like this left in the world. I thought you might like to experience some of it," He shrugged.
Laura chanced another look toward the young pair. Her pulse was now throbbing in her ears. She tried so hard to stop the thoughts from rushing through her mind but they flooded her anyway. It was so much easier when she didn't have to look at her. Katya looked like a porcelain doll as she stood up on stage; a far cry from the uniformed officer whose mouth spit deadlier bullets than the weapon she toted.

"What if she sees me?" She said weakly.

Saul reached for Laura's wrist and gently pulled her back against the aisle wall by his side.

"Don't worry about that, Laura. I promise you she won't," He said placing his hand on her shoulder to reassure her.” She can't see this far out with those lights on her. That's why Ellen always made sure we sat right up front so Katya could see us if she ever glanced down at the audience," He explained. "Trust me. I didn't take you here to start a scene."

Laura looked back at the stage. Katya seemed to be laughing at something the young man said as he showed her his station cuff. The scene sent a rush through her that she couldn't explain at first. Then she realized what it was. She'd never seen a genuine smile on the girl's face before.

"That's Yuri Petrov. He's Alexi's cousin," Saul said gesturing to the light haired young man. "He used to be one of Katya's partners back when this was one of the biggest parts of her life."

Laura swallowed and nodded.

"You see that old crone sitting in the front there?" He asked as he pointed toward an elderly woman who sat alone in the first seat of the front row.

As if on cue the woman shouted something at the two dancers. Laura cringed. She and Saul were too far away to hear clearly but she didn't think she'd be able to understand the woman's shrill words anyway. The old lady sat so low in her chair that had Saul not pointed her out Laura didn't think she would have even noticed her.

"That's Madame Oksana Lobanova. She was Katya's ballet instructor from the time she could walk until she was seventeen and she enlisted in the military. I hate that old bat with a passion. She's about a hundred and fifty years old and one of the meanest ladies you'll ever meet," Saul said with a chuckle. "But she's one of the only people to have ever tamed our little Koshka. She taught her discipline and dedication. She also sent her home crying and with her toes bleeding half the time but Katya wouldn't have had it any other way. She didn't give this up until she had to," Saul finished as the music started again and the two dancers took their places.

Laura's lips parted as she watched the stunning positions that Katya was twisting herself into. She did it with even breaths and a smile on her face as if it were the easiest thing in the world.

"I told Bill that she had your legs," Saul teased as he looked back at Katya's arabesque penché.

Laura's eyes widened at his statement and the impossible balance exhibited in front of them.

"I don't know, Saul. I've never done anything like that with mine," Laura said marveling at the near pin straight lines and fluid movements.

Saul chuckled at her comment.

"Yeah, well she's had years of training," He told her. "You should see her when she's well. Right now she's only giving it about fifty percent."
The climbing tempo of the music gave Laura the chills.

"Should she really be doing this right now, Saul? I mean…she looks better but…"

"No, she shouldn't," He said cutting her off. "It was suggested to her as a form of physical therapy to help with her injuries and balance. She was supposed to wait until she felt better but if you haven't noticed, she's a stubborn brat," Saul smirked.

"I've noticed," Laura said flatly.

"But…she's also an angel when she wants to be, when she's happy," Saul started in a more genuine voice than Laura thought she'd ever heard him use. "She was the sweetest thing I think I ever laid my sight on when she was a little girl. I remember coming to see her dance for the first time. She looked like a little firefly prancing around that big stage. I never cared for this sort of thing but after seeing her a few times I couldn't get enough of it. I came to every recital and every show she was in as long as my duty allowed. She's captivating when she's up there," He said glancing at Laura as she watched the duo. "She's also quiet when she's up there, so that helps with the appeal," He joked trying to get a smile out of her.

"I shouldn't be here," Laura whispered as her throat tightened.

"I wanted to take you," Saul said looking over at her but Laura's eyes were stuck on the stage now just as his had been before. "When Bill first knew about Katya he took you to the observation deck on this side of the station. I told him that Katya was on patrol that day. I don't know if he ever shared that with you. He knew that she was out there while you two sat and looked at the view. He got to watch her fly. I thought maybe you'd like to see her dance," He admitted.

Laura took a deep breath that shook the whole way down. Bill never told her. He probably didn't know what he should and shouldn't share with her anymore.

"I wanted to show you this side of her," Saul went on, "She isn't what she seems most of the time, Laura. That's part of her; the stubbornness, the attitude. You’re right about that to a degree…but she can also be sweet and gentle and she's loyal to a fault. When she loves someone she loves them for life no matter what," Saul said with a sigh as he recalled every trial and experiment that Isakoff had ever involved her in. He wished that he'd been there to stop it. He wished they'd had her from the time she was born so that he could have spared her all of it and given her the father that she deserved instead of one who used her like a tool. Still, Saul knew that she loved that man and that she always would. He understood it. It was the same way he'd loved Ellen even through times when she didn't deserve it.
"I guess I lost the chance to know that side of her," Laura said watching the weightless leaps and jumps and the way Katya nearly floated in Yuri's arms. "I probably messed it up for Bill too," She added as her eyes watered.

She rubbed away the threatening tears when they blurred her view of the site before her.

Saul could see the emotion on her face and for a moment he eased up on the sentiment.

"I think this piece is from their most famous performance together. It was a winter ballet performed at holiday time. I guess you could compare it to our Saturnalia or Winter Solstice back on the Colonies," He said attempting explain the holiday season. ”When they were young they danced the children's leads. She played a little girl whose toys come alive at night and he played her doll, a handsome prince. Once they were old enough they starred in it together again in the adult roles. Opening night was one of the proudest nights of my life, Ellen's too. She still insists on watching the video every winter even though it embarrasses the hell out of Katya. Lobanova used to tell us that had our kitten been born during different times she could have made a shining career of this. She said that she could have been a prima ballerina, that she had a gift but…well, we just don't live in that kind of world anymore. She's made a fine pilot instead," Saul affirmed with a smile but Laura's face was frozen with a mix of pain and awe.

She couldn't believe that the graceful woman on stage was the same little baby who was haunting her dreams. Watching her impressive strength and obvious talent it was hard to imagine that she was actually once the scrawny little bundle that she'd given birth to.

"Gods, she’s beautiful," Laura said shaking her head and flicking away some fallen tears.

"She is," Saul agreed. "And...I want to thank you for her, Laura. You and Bill really made us a little treasure. Ellen and I will always be grateful for that."

He saw her breath catch a bit but when she seemed to be keeping her composure well enough he went on.

"Laura, I want to explain some things to you about Katya," Saul said looking back at the stage. He grimaced trying to remember everything he'd wanted to say. "We let her enlist a year early because it was all she wanted to do with her life. She even gave up this passion to do it. She grew up hearing about her father and brothers and Kara and she never wanted to do anything else but follow in their footsteps. All four kids decided to serve their people. Alexi says it was the least they could do after their creation turned out to be a big disappointment. It's a shame that they think that way but I guess I understand it."

Laura looked over at Saul and narrowed her eyes. She didn't understand why he was telling her all of this.

"And we approved her marriage license last year when they applied because Alexi was almost of age anyway. We knew they would do it as soon as they were both old enough. They wanted housing together and that's the only way to do it in the service. I know she's young but they've loved each other for a long time. Alexi and Katya both have dangerous jobs, dangerous lives. She goes out every day and risks her life. We never know if she's coming back. I know that's sort of a morbid way of looking at it but we didn't want her to miss out on something she wanted so badly," He said with a quaking grimace. "The night of their wedding I just kept asking myself how the frak I was going to explain to Laura Roslin that I'd let her daughter marry Gaius Baltar's son but believe me when I tell you this, Laura; that boy is not his father, not even close."

Laura suddenly realized what Saul was trying to do. He was trying to account for everything she'd spouted off to Ellen the night of their confrontation.Her words had obviously had an effect on him too.
"Saul, you don't have to explain yourself to me. I was out of line. I shouldn't have said any of that. Ellen was right; you're her parents. I don't know what it's like and I don't have any right to judge the choices you made with her. Please don't feel like you have to explain every decision to me. It doesn't matter what I think," She said shaking her head.

"It does to me. Every time I made one I did it with you and Bill in mind, wondering what you two would do, wondering if you would approve. I just wanted you both to be proud once you met her. I know we didn't do things the way either of you probably would have. I know she took on my temper and Ellen's flair for dramatics…But she's also funny and kind and exceptionally bright. She's great with the kids aboard the station and she's helpful and giving. We spoiled her; we gave her as much love as we possibly could and I know we made mistakes but if you really knew her, Laura…"

"That's not what she wants, Saul," She interrupted, finally seeing exactly where he was going with all of this.

Saul shook his head.

"That's just it; she doesn't know what she wants. She's confused and it's making her angry. You don't understand how much she used to want that. You don't know how many times I had to recite the same old stories over and over again; the time Mommy went to Kobol, when Mommy commandeered a cylon basestar, the time Mommy and Uncle Saul almost stole an election and Daddy screwed it up," Saul attempted to joke but he only saw a glimmer of amusement shining back at him in Laura's wet eyes. "She loved every story I had and she was just waiting until the day she would meet you for herself. When she got older she started to understand that her existence might not go over that well once you arrived. That put a damper on things. She started to really grasp what had been done to you and it tinged every hope she had with the fear of rejection. Still, I don't think she ever stopped wanting to know you for herself," He explained.

Laura closed her eyes for a moment unable to keep her sights on the girl in question. She'd suspected as much. Katya lived painfully with the knowledge of how she'd come to be. It was too big of a burden for such a young life to bear. She understood the anger that seemed to follow her, she carried it herself now.

"I think I built you up in her head, Laura," Saul said interrupting her thoughts. When she looked at him he was staring right at her, his one eye sullen and apologetic. "So much so that you couldn't possibly live up to the image she had of you. You're an impressive woman. I'll give you that but I shouldn't have made you out to be some sort of infallible being. She was just so in love with the idea of you. It was nice to see the look in her eyes when we talked about you and Bill. I'll take the blame for that part," He confessed.

Laura was stunned at his words. She'd been so angry and so filled with resentment that she hardly considered what Katya's life with the Tighs was really like. She'd been blaming all of Katya's faults on them; everything she couldn't stand about the child she and Bill had conceived. It hurt too much too believe they'd produced a child whose personality she just couldn't handle. It was easier to blame it on Ellen, to think that she'd been a poor influence on the girl but Laura knew it was mostly an excuse. These people loved her daughter unconditionally and she was angry that she didn't know what it was like to feel the same way.

"Katya shared something with me once that her foster father used to tell her about religion. He told her that people lost their faith when they looked to gods and found them to be but men. I think she's finally starting to understand what he meant by that. I think we all are…" Saul trailed off looking back at the stage distracted by the crescendo. "I really wish she wouldn't spin like that just yet," He said clearing his throat as he watched Yuri turn Katya by her ribcage.

Laura sighed.

"I don't know what it is you think I'm supposed to do. She doesn't want me anywhere near her, Saul. Did you take me here to just observe from afar? Because I don't think I can take this much longer. I'm not going to stand here and torture myself," She said obviously holding back more threatening tears.

Saul shook his head.

"Go to her. Talk to her," He said simply, "Laura, she won't turn you away. I promise you that."

Saul's expression was honest. Laura could see that he believed what he was telling her but she didn't have much faith in his words.

"Even if that were true…I can't face her. I insulted her. I insulted Ellen...she seems to love her so deeply," Laura said letting another tear make its way down her cheek without chasing it off with her thumb.

"She does. They love each other," Saul affirmed, "So much so that I'm sure that if I were to fall off the face of the station tomorrow they'd both be just fine without me," He teased. "So apologize to Katya. It's a good way in and you better believe she'll want it from you before you say much else. But don't you worry about Ellen. Believe it or not she's rooting for the two of you in her own way. It's just been hard for both of them. Katya's the closest thing Ellen's ever had to a daughter and Ellen's the only mother Katya's ever known. Ellen's afraid of losing her and Katya's afraid of disappointing Ellen. My wife doesn't want your apology, Laura. She doesn't need it. What she needs is for her little girl to be happy and if that means connecting with you then she won't try to stop it…not anymore."

"I wouldn't know where to start."

They both winced as they saw Katya stop again and painfully roll her neck from side to side with Yuri's help. She was obviously pushing herself.

"She's a kid Laura. She looks all grown up and she tries to act the part but she's still got a long way to go. Be a mom, teach her something, show her it's okay to swallow your pride and give in once in awhile. Lords know it's a lesson she needs to learn," Saul suggested.

Laura didn't know if she could truly face Katya. There was so much wrapped up in the young woman's presence. When she looked at her she didn't just see what she'd missed in this lifetime but her last as well. She already felt like a failure. After seeing the picture of her baby and knowing the feeling of recognizing her own child she had started to hate herself for not knowing the moment she first met her. Shouldn't she have realized? Shouldn't she have felt it? Sometimes she thought that she had, but she couldn't be sure. Perhaps she was never supposed to be a mother. Maybe she just didn't have it in her. The more that she learned about the girl the harder it was to look at her. She felt the sting of failure seeping in as she watched Katya's lithe body elegantly perform. She looked so strong and beautiful but Laura knew now that she'd even failed her during her conception. She'd made her baby with clyon blood and an almost certain battle with an awful illness in her future. How could she face her knowing that?

"I don't know if I can do that Saul. I don't know if I want to."

"I think you do. I see it in your eyes when you look at her. I know that look because it's the same way Ellen looks at her; like that's your baby girl and no one else in the room matters near as much. Do it, Laura. Do it for her, do it for Bill, do it for yourself. Just frakking do it. If you don't you might regret it. You've seen what it's like to wait at home while she's out in combat. Soon she'll be recovered and back out there. Can you sit through another night like that without at least trying?"

She was too afraid to try. She was too afraid of what it might mean to actually know her daughter. What if they tried and it still turned out they couldn't stand each other? What if Katya did turn her away again? Could she even handle it once more?

They were both caught off guard when the sharp shouting of Madam Lobanova came screeching from the front row. She stayed seated but was brandishing what looked to be a cane in the air.

"See? I told you. She's evil," Saul said grimacing in the old woman's direction.

A glance toward Yuri and Katya showed they weren't fazed by the outburst as they followed whatever harsh instruction or critique the old lady had just shouted their way.
Saul moved in front of Laura making sure he had her attention.

"Laura, I want to make you an offer. I told you we would talk about the download. I understand why you want to go to Beta. Bill explained it to me and I think you're right. It would be good to have you there for Helo and Athena," He relented.

"So we can go?" She asked peaking passed his shoulder at the stage.

"Well there's a catch. If you manage to at least try and visit Katya tomorrow I'll make sure that you and Bill are on the last shuttle out to the Beta quadrant by the end of the day. I don't care if I have to take on Michelle Le Blanc or the entire EOC. If they need some convincing well then Ellen can just hold the raiders and the centurions and the whole stream ransom. I'll get you there and I'll make sure you're safe. You understand how dangerous it is out there right now. If you're brave enough to want to do that then you're brave enough to take on that ballerina up there," He said nodding back toward the stage.

Laura's eye's narrowed at the Colonel.

"That's not fair, Saul."

"I know it but that's my offer. It will do you both a lot of good. It will do us all a lot of good. No one wants to live like this anymore, Laura. It's hurting all of us. I told Katya and Ellen that we all need to find a way to be a family. That includes you. We need your help."

A family, Laura thought as she looked back at the stage.

"She's moving back to her cabin tonight," Saul told her. "If you go to her there tomorrow morning before she leaves for Beta you won't have to worry about Ellen and I being around to interfere. Just you and her."

The thought gave Laura chills. Had she ever even been alone with her? Maybe long ago back when they still shared blood and breath, before the problems of the world came along to force them apart, back when their hearts still beat together, before either of them was aware enough to know it. With a deep sigh she looked toward the stage again. Yuri held Katya with one hand on her ribs and the other clasped with hers high in the air but they suddenly didn't seem to be moving.

"Saul," Laura called in a louder voice than she should have.

He turned his head in time to see Katya's legs give out and watch her sink to the stage floor with Yuri's help.

"Damn it," He said under his breath. “ I knew it.”

Katya sat slunk over with her head in her hands and her knees bent. Yuri crouched next to her rubbing her back and obviously trying to comfort her. The old woman slowly got up and started making her way to the front of the stage with her cane as if she was climbing a mountainside with a staff.

"She looks sick," Laura worriedly said grabbing on to Saul's arm.

He nodded.

"She's okay," He tried to assure her, though he wasn't convinced himself. "She probably got a little dizzy."

Saul looked at his cuff and started tapping away at it.

"You should go to her," Laura insisted but the Colonel shook his head.

"I'm messaging Alexi. He planned on taking her to the doctor when she came home. He can just come get her from here," Saul said knowing his message would have Alexi there shortly and no doubt angry at his stubborn wife.

He needed to get Laura home before Katya noticed them.

"C'mon, Laura," He said starting back up the aisle.

"Saul, we can't just leave her like that," She said trying to keep her voice down as she walked after him.

"She'll be fine, Laura. Yuri is family. He won't let anything happen to her. Alexi will be here in no time. We need to go," He said reaching back and taking her by the hand.
Laura looked over her shoulder the whole way to the door.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth
CORRIDOR B
MILITARY QUARTERS
CABIN 119B: ASSIGNMENT; TIGH
YEAR: 2315

Katya felt numb. She hardly felt like she was in her own body as she sat at the dinner table staring into space. She couldn't handle dinner, not so soon after what she'd just learned. Alexi told her that they should have skipped it. She should have listened but it was her last night home so she forced herself to stay for Ellen.

"Katya, sweetie, you're not eating," Ellen said as she passed a bowl to Saul.

The typical dinner time nagging went in one ear and out the other. As if on auto pilot Katya stabbed some food onto her fork; a move that always bought her some time.

"Katya," Ellen called again, frowning at the distant look on the girl’s face.

"Kit!" Saul shouted across the table.

After escorting Laura to her cabin Saul returned home. When he shared what had transpired between he and Laura at the theater he left out Katya's dizzy spell for Ellen's sake. He knew that Alexi was taking care of it and he didn't want to worry her. Ellen knew that she was heading to the doctor anyway. Saul figured that here was no point in stressing her out even more especially with the trip she had coming up.

"Huh?" Katya said finally looking up from her plate.

"Ellen's talking to you," He barked.

"Sorry," She mumbled softly before looking back down and continuing to poke at her food.

Alexi watched his wife intently. He knew her head was elsewhere and that she couldn't hide it. He couldn't blame her after the bombshell that had just been dropped on them during their visit to Med Ward. He was having his own trouble getting through the meal but for Katya's sake he'd have to cover for the both of them.

"Yehst, myshka," He told her.

She nodded and took a bite.

"Sweetie, what did Tawny say?" Ellen asked as she folded a napkin in her lap.

When Alexi and Katya came in they'd both gone straight into her room after a couple of half hearted greetings. They hadn't come out again until Ellen called them for dinner. When she'd asked them what they were up to they both claimed to have been busy packing up Katya's things.

"She's fine," Alexi answered catching both Saul and Ellen by surprise. Katya answered for him all the time but it was a strange occurrence to hear him do the same for her. "She's cleared for the trip tomorrow afternoon," He added hoping to erase the looks on their faces.

Ellen looked back at Katya and addressed her once again.

"That's good, baby. Did she do another cranial scan?" She asked, still worried about the lingering effects of the concussion.

Her symptoms should have been lessening now and the fact that some were still plaguing her had Ellen on edge.

Katya glanced at her husband before answering.

"Yeah. Everything's fine," She said avoiding Ellen's eyes.

"What's with you?" Ellen asked shaking her head.

Katya glanced up in her direction.

"Nothing. Why?"

"You've been acting like a zombie since you got home," Ellen accused.

"She's tired," Alexi answered again. This time Ellen shot him a nasty look but he ignored it and continued. "She shouldn't have gone to the theater this morning," He went on. "That's all. She wiped herself out. She pushed herself too far," He explained while casually reaching for a second helping from the center of the table.

Saul nodded in agreement and took the explanation without doubt. He'd seen the way Katya had danced earlier. Though she handled it well at first she'd eventually overdone it. He wasn't surprised to see her acting a little aloof as they ate. Alexi was probably right. She had to be exhausted.

Saul wasn't going to share the on stage tumble with Ellen unless Katya brought it up first and both kids seemed to be avoiding it. He assumed they too were attempting to spare Ellen the stress. Everyone understood the responsibility she had in the upcoming download on Beta.

"Did Tawny say when you can return to active flight duty?" Saul asked before taking a sip of his drink.

Katya silently shook her head.

Saul frowned at her minimal response. He'd expected some follow up, some comment about how Tawny didn't know what she was talking about or how pissed she was that she'd still have to wait to fly but she almost looked uninterested. He looked to his wife and saw the concern on her face.

"Why didn't you see Xao?" He grumbled becoming a little more suspicious. "He's your doctor."

Katya wanted to sink into floor.

"Because Tawny treated her after the collision,” Alexi explained on her behalf Sp she had to follow up with her.”

"What else did she say?" Ellen pressed, glancing at Alexi as if to tell him to shut up before he even opened his mouth. Usually they could hardly get two words out of him at a time. Tonight he was suddenly Katya's spokesman.

"Nothing," Katya shrugged.

She kept having to remind herself to breathe. She felt like she was in a dense fog. She knew that she and Alexi should really go. She would miss being back home and getting to sleep in her old bed with Ellen’s doting care but they needed to leave. After what they had just found out they needed to be alone.

"Nothing?" Ellen asked in disbelief, "What about your neck?"

"She said to keep going to PT," Katya answered.

"Then that's not nothing," Ellen countered.

Katya dropped her fork causing it to clatter loudly onto her plate.

"Please, Ellen, it's fine. I'm tired. Alexi's right. I was stupid this morning. I’m an idiot. I was wrong to go dance. I’m sorry. I have a headache. Can we talk about something else please?" Katya said unleashing the many frustrations that she didn't even know had been building up as she sate there.

She really couldn't feel anything.

As Ellen glanced around the table she saw that Alexi's eyes were glued to his wife. Something was up with them but for now she would let it go.

"Fine," She said with some ice in her tone. "I'm leaving for Beta at 0600. I want you three there by the afternoon," She told the table.

Alexi nodded.

"I have a tutoring session in the morning and Katya has PT with Buck," He answered. "We can head out after that, Colonel, unless you and Kat want to take off early. I can take a later shuttle. "
"No, that’s fine. I'll schedule our flight tonight," Saul added, “I’ll send you the itinerary before bed and I'll meet you two on deck."

"Yes, Sir," Alexi replied.

"That alright with you, Kat?" Saul asked but she was zoned out yet again, "Kat?" He called more forcefully.

Ellen shook her head and reached over the table. When she placed her hand over Katya’s rested the girl jumped at her touch as if someone had just snuck up on her.

"Kit, what the frak is wrong with you?" Ellen said with growing concern.

"Nothing," Katya insisted with a roll of her eyes, "I'm sorry, Aunt Ellen. Really, I'm just so tired. Alexi, when you're done can we get going?"

"Of course," The Sergeant answered.

He started shoveling food in his mouth to clear his plate.

Ellen glanced at Saul but he looked as confused as she felt. She let out a relenting sigh.

"Will you call me in the morning when you wake up, kit?" She asked, "Put my mind at ease while I'm away?" She asked, playing the guilt card.

Katya nodded.

"Yeah, first thing," She assured, hoping her quick agreement would be enough.

Alexi stood up from the table and pushed his chair back in.

"I'll go get your things," He said excusing himself.

Saul pushed his plate away and rested both hands on the table top.

"You better rest up tonight, kit. You'll need it tomorrow," He vaguely warned pushing his chair out and standing up. "Trust me," He added before retiring to his bedroom.
Ellen bit her lip at his snide reference. She knew that he'd left the ball in Laura's court today. He told her about their little deal. She would be far away when and if Laura actually showed up at Katya's cabin and it killed her to know that she wouldn't even be on the same station while the two of them were together in the same room. On top of that she had to worry about contending with the EOC if Saul really did decide to honor his promise to bring Bill and Laura to Beta. Once Saul was out of earshot Ellen gave Katya a knowing look.

"Are you going to tell me the truth now that we're alone?" She asked.

Katya looked back at her silent and stone faced.

"Guess not," Ellen said before pressing her lips together in a hard line.

"Da'vai," Alexi's voice broke the tension.

He held a few of Katya's bags and had her uniform slung over his shoulder on a hanger.

Katya got up from her chair slowly and walked over to Ellen.

"Thank you for taking care of me," She said leaning over and kissing her on the cheek.

Ellen's anger melted with the sweet gesture but her concern stayed solid.

"Just promise me that you'll take care of yourself, kitten," She said reaching for the girl’s hand and giving it a squeeze.

Katya nodded.

"I promise."

Ellen stood and took her into her arms.

Katya returned the hug and took a deep breath inhaling her perfume.

"Love you," Katya said tightening her arms.

She was sure that she would wake tonight wishing that Ellen was there to hold her but Alexi would be there and she had to look to her husband for comfort now.

"Love you more," Ellen answered.

As Katya moved toward the door Ellen tried to study the girl. Sometimes she could get a feel of what she was thinking if she wasn't actively blocking it. A the moment she couldn't read a damn thing.

"Good luck, Aunt Ellen," Katya called as she went through the hatch.

"You too, kit," Ellen said after the door was closed.

If Laura showed up she'd need it and something told her it was needed all around.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth
CORRIDOR B
MILITARY QUARTERS
CABIN 139B: ASSIGNMENT; ISAKOFF/PETROV
YEAR: 2315

The night had been more peaceful than either Alexi or Katya had expected. They were able to find some comfort in the privacy of their own home and in each other's arms. They even managed to get some sleep. Katya only woke once and Alexi was relieved when he soothed her back to sleep in a matter of minutes. They hadn't spoken much of the day's events, mostly because they were still too stunned. It was something that would be dealt with later. They both knew that it would have to take a back seat for a few days. They had places to be, they had a friend in need. When they returned home they would figure things out for themselves.

Eager to occupy her thoughts Katya woke early and headed to physical therapy. Mindful of Ellen’s concern she called her as promised.

Ellen was relieved and happy to hear from her. They spoke as Katya walked to the gym and as Ellen passed the time in the shuttle on the way to Beta. Though she was worried, Ellen was careful not to probe too deeply. She was glad to hear that Katya sounded much better over the call than she had the night before during dinner. She took comfort in knowing that they would be together again by the afternoon. She had stayed up half the night worrying about Katya's strange behavior and about Laura's potential visit. Though she'd told Katya that she wanted her to be accepting toward the woman it didn't make it any easier on her end. Once Ellen’s shuttle was about to dock they said their goodbyes, promising each other a more pleasant dinner on Beta that night.

Done with her PT Katya returned home to shower and pack for the trip. When she arrived Alexi was still in the middle of his tutoring session. He sat with a little boy that they both regularly taught; the son of another military couple on station of Eastern Federalist decent. Alexi had Tchaikovsky softly playing through the cabin speakers. He always insisted that they play music while their students were there. He said that it stimulated the mind and helped them learn. As Katya walked up to where they were seated at the table the sight of Alexi with the young boy made her smile. He was usually so serious but when he spoke to the children on station she got to see a completely different side of him.

"Hello boys," She greeted, throwing her gym bag off to the side.

Alexi just waved in her direction, obviously concerned with whatever he was grading on the boy's tablet. She laughed and shook her head at the intensity he used even in marking a seven-year-old's homework.

"Privheyt, Katya," The boy greeted, rushing out of his seat and running to hug her hips.

"Hello, Maksim," She smiled down and tousled his blonde hair with her hand. "Are you working hard this morning?" She asked.

"Dah," He said happily.

"Oh yeah? How 'bout you?" She teased, poking at Alexi's shoulder while he busily scanned the screen he was on.
He waved her off.

"Alexi is helping me with algebra," Maksim proudly told her.

"And how is it going?" She asked trying to feign as much excitement as the child obviously felt.

"Kah roh'shoh," He beamed.

"Oh really? That's nice to hear, but Maksim, what's with all the E-fed? You know better than that when you're at a lesson."

The boy shrugged.

"Alexi does it," He deflected looking over at his teacher.

"Does he?" Katya said with exaggerated wide eyes." Well Alexi knows better than that too."

Katya looked over at her husband, goading for an explanation.

"His parents speak it at home, Kat. What's the difference?" He grumbled.

"The difference is, Alexi; you are a certified instructor in the Earth Orbit Education System. You've promised to uphold their standards and that means using a universal language," She said matter-of-factly. "Doesn't it Maksim?" She said looking back at the grinning boy.

"Yes?" He shrugged.

"That's right," She winked. "Now sometimes Alexi forgets. When he does you remind him okay?"

"But Katya, you have E-fed right here," Maksim said reaching up to point at her bare ribs.

She'd forgotten that the midriff tank she’d worn to PT exposed her tattoos.

Alexi finally looked up at her, amused that she'd been caught by the precocious kid.

Katya squinted her eyes at her husband and then smiled back at Maksim. She bent down on her knees so he could get a better look.

"That's right, Maks. I do. Can you read that? It's in old Cyrillic," She told him.

The boy ran a chubby finger over the black characters that were inked onto the skin of Katya’s ribcage. When he seemed to be having trouble with the old text she helped him out.

"Dochka," She told him.

"Daughter?" He asked looking up at her.

She nodded and smiled.

"Very good."

"Why do you have that?" Maksim asked poking at the letters with his little finger and making her giggle.

"My uncle took me to get it a few years ago on the anniversary of my father's birthday. He passed away a long time ago. I have it to help me remember him. Sometimes that's okay. We shouldn't forget about the old language. It's fine if your parents speak E-fed at home but when we're in class we should try to follow the Orbit rules. Don't you think?"
She ignored Alexi as he chuckled quietly at the table.

"Yes," Maksim agreed.

"Good," She smiled.

"Then…why do you have this one?" The little boy asked, moving his finger to poke at the ribs on Katya’s right side where she sported the silhouette of a cat against the full moon.
Alexi was blatantly grinning while he watched the display.

"Well the cat is for my call-sign when I fly and the moon behind it is for my squadron; Luna Force," She explained as the child continued to trace the shape of the cat against the moon. "I got this one when I made the first air group because I was proud of it."

"Your callsign, Katya…isn't it…Koshka?" Maksim asked.

"Yes. That's why I got the cat. Understand?"

"Yes…but…Katya, that's more E-fed," The boy said innocently.

Alexi finally let out a hearty laugh and Katya just palmed her forehead at a loss.

"You're not going to help me out at all are you, Lex?" Katya said standing back up and looking at her husband. He shook his head unable to speak as he held back his laughter. "I guess that's good to know for the future," She chided.

"You did very well, little man," Alexi said handing the boy his tablet and distracting him from the impromptu lesson on tattoo symbolism.

Katya wasn't sure if Alexi's compliment was about the boy's course work or getting one over on her but she had a feeling that he was proud of both.

"We're done for the morning," He said giving the boy a pat on the shoulder.

"Katya, my sister needs help with her science," Maksim reminded.

"Oh, that's right. Tell your parents to message me and I'll set something up with Dasha when I come back from Beta Station, okay?"

"Okay," He agreed.

"I'm taking a shower, Alexi," She told her husband as she walked toward their bedroom.

"Alright. I'm gunna walk him home. I'll finish packing when I get back," He called after her. "Your uncle's message said to be on deck at 1400 or he's leaving without us."

"I'm really worried," She mocked with a roll of her eyes as she looked back over her shoulder. "Bye, Maksim."

Katya turned to blow him a kiss and then continued into their room.

The little boy blushed at the gesture and looked up to the towering sergeant.

"Let's go, Maks," Alexi said shaking his head and taking Maksim's hand.

"Should we turn the music off, Alexi?"

"No way. Let's make it louder so Koshka can hear it all the way in the head," He said, making the boy laugh as he turned the volume up using his cuff. "C'mon. Let's go."
Alexi moved to open the hatch and was surprised to hear a startled gasp on the other side as he yanked it open.

Laura Roslin stood with her hand over her heart looking like she'd been scared half to death. Alexi was sure that he wasn't too far from looking just as shocked. They both stared at each other for a few endless moments before Laura finally spoke.

"I'm so sorry, Sergeant. You took me by surprise. I was just about to knock," She lied.

She had been about to walk away before he opened the door. She'd been standing outside the hatch trying to convince herself to knock for the last few minutes but she couldn't find the courage. She'd considered telling Saul that she went and that no one was home. He couldn't say that she hadn't tried so she would still get to go to Beta. She would just have to deal with feeling like a complete coward and a liar. She'd finally decided to leave and tell him the truth. She hoped that the colonel would have some pity on her and allow she and Bill go anyway. Alexi had opened the hatch just as she was about to turn to go.

Laura hadn't dreamed the night before. For once she wasn't plagued with awful nightmares or painful false memories but it was only because she hadn't slept a wink. She'd stayed up half the night trying to decide if she would even come and the other half trying to plan out what she would do or say if she did. As she stood there she couldn't remember any of it.

Alexi nodded at the marine guard behind her. The corporal fell back a few paces giving them some privacy and stood guard close by.

"Ms. Roslin," Alexi greeted flatly not knowing what else to say.

Laura didn't know what to do. The door was already opened. Could she really just walk away? She was standing there feeling completely stupefied and the Sergeant was looking at her like she was crazy. She figured she had to be for actually showing up there. What was she thinking?

"Is everything alright, Ma'am?" Alexi asked, now worried that she might possibly be in some kind of trouble. She sure looked like she was. "Is something wrong?"

"No," Laura finally forced the word from her mouth. " No. I just…I came…"

Why had she come? She wasn't even sure anymore.

"You're looking for Katya," Alexi offered, noticing the woman's obvious distress.

He had no interest in watching her squirm no matter what feelings he had toward her.

She sighed looking slightly alleviated.

"Yes. I was but if the Captain isn't in I can just come back another time," She offered, hoping that Alexi would tell her that was the case.

Now at least she wouldn't have to lie to Saul. She’d technically tried.

Alexi chewed at the inside of his lip wondering how he should answer, or more importantly how Katya would want him to answer. He wasn't sure that he wanted her to have another interaction with Laura, at least not today. She didn't need the stress.

"She's in the head," A little voice came from below eye level.

Maksim smiled up at Laura feeling as though he'd been quite helpful.

Laura attempted to smile back, surprised to see the small boy at the sergeant's knee. She hadn't even noticed him there. She could feel her smile quivering as she looked down at him. She was sure that the child had just made a decision for his companion without meaning to.

"Sha, Maks," Alexi whispered down at him.

"No E-fed, Alexi," Maksim reminded.

"Class is over Maks," He told the child.

"I can go, Sergeant. It's alright," Laura offered but as she did Katya's voice called from the other room.

"Lex, are you still here?! Why is the music so loud?!" She shouted.

Alexi could tell that she was walking in their direction and he didn't have time to stop her.

"Hey, where did you put my uniform?" She groused rushing through doorway of their bedroom. She was still in her gym clothes but her hair was down and a little wild from the steam in the head. "You better not have left it at my parent’s…" She nearly choked on her words when she looked up to find Laura standing in the hatchway.

"Yekaterina, you have a visitor," Alexi announced knowing his choice in the matter was gone.

He lowered the music a few clicks while he watched his wife standing mouth agape in their direction. He wondered how he should intervene. He was almost certain that he'd never felt a more awkward tension in his life and he was including all of Ellen's lewd gestures and inappropriate flirting over the years.

"I can go," Laura offered with her palms up.

Alexi thought she looked like she was trying to ward off a mountain lion. Katya said nothing. She'd closed her mouth but she seemed to be breathing rather quickly. He didn't like it. He couldn't risk letting her get worked up. Tawny’s words kept echoing in his mind. Katya was supposed to avoid extra stress. He needed to keep her as calm as possible.

"Maybe that's best, Ms. Roslin," He started in the other woman's direction. "We have a flight soon and…"

"No, Alexi," Katya abruptly stopped him. He looked back at her in disbelief. "It's fine. Just take Maks home."

Laura's eyes darted between the young couple. She felt like running but her feet wouldn't move.

"Uspokoysya, Katya, pozhaluista?" Alexi warned. He didn't want to leave her. If he came back and they were in the middle of a shouting match he'd blame himself. Tawny had told him to keep her relaxed. "Please, Katya," He repeated.

"Dah, Alexi. Just go," She told him while keeping her eyes locked on Laura.

He nodded reluctantly and bent down on his knee.

"Hop on, Maks," He told the little boy who happily took the offer to ride on the sergeant's back.

"I'll be back shortly," He said standing up with Maksim on his shoulders.

Katya nodded and gave them a half wave.

"Bye, Katya," Maks called and blew a kiss over Alexi's shoulder mimicking her earlier gesture.

She was able to smile through her nerves at his sweet face as Alexi ducked through the hatch.

"Goodbye, Ms. Roslin," Alexi murmured as he walked passed her.

She nodded in return. Once they were alone her eyes met Katya's again.

"I'm here to apologize…if you'll let me," She attempted.

Laura could feel that her eyes were as wide as a stunned deer caught in the front beams of car. She could remember nights where she would leave her parents' home in suburbs after a visit and see the animals on the side of the roads as she drove back into Caprica City. A few times she had to swerve out of the way just to avoid hitting ones that darted in front of her car only to halt dead in their tracks. She could never understand why they stopped, why they didn't just keep running. It was like they wanted to be hit. Now she understood the feeling.

As Katya eyed her Laura felt as if the young woman’s gaze was searing through to the back of her skull. They were Bill's eyes, but she'd never seen his look so distrustful.
Finally the girl nodded.

"Come in."

As Laura closed the hatch behind her she felt her hand shaking against the metal of the door. She had to get a hold of herself. She'd faced governors and ambassadors, presidents and cylon agents and yet she'd never been more frightened than she was facing this twenty-two year old girl with a chip on her shoulder. When she turned around to look at her she balled both hands into fists by her side in an attempt to hide her tremors. She could hardly believe that she'd actually made it through the door. Katya was still watching her like a hawk and she was obviously not willing to speak first.

"I'm sorry, Captain. I know that you have a flight that you need to catch," Laura started but Katya stopped her and shook her head.

"Alexi's just being overprotective. I have time," She said simply with little emotion in her voice.

Laura nodded.

"I thought maybe we could talk about a few things…or I could talk and you could listen…I won't stay long if you don't want me to," She rambled.

Katya bit her lip in consideration. She'd made a promise. Ellen had pleaded with her to give Laura a chance. She asked her to give the woman the gift that the two of them could never give themselves. Katya's stomach rolled as she recalled her words. She'd do it for Ellen. At least she would try.

"Sit," Katya said motioning to the sofa. "If you want to," She added, "I'll…be right back."

Katya retreated toward the bedroom leaving Laura frozen in place.

Should she sit?

She didn't know if it would be a standing or sitting conversation. She supposed that standing would make it easier to leave but it would also make it easier to be tossed out. She shook her head entirely disgusted with herself. Bill didn't even know where she was. She'd told him that she was going to the gym. He knew about Saul's proposition but they hadn't really discussed it much. Bill seemed to assume that she just wouldn't do it. It hurt to see how he'd lost so much faith in her. When she headed out the door that morning she'd even surprised herself. She couldn't blame Bill for doubting her.
With a huff she forced herself to sit down to the sofa. She ran both hands down her face in frustration. Her cold fingers actually felt good on her cheeks that seemed to burn with a mix of fear and anxiety as she waited.

Katya had left only to turn off the shower in the head but she found herself leaning against the sink afraid that she might become sick to her stomach. Her hair was hot on the back of her neck so she tied it up again hoping that it would help. She should never have left the living room. Now she was having trouble convincing herself to return. Despite asking to talk Laura had looked like she wanted to be anywhere else but in Katya’s presence. She swallowed hard. The only thing worse than returning to face her birthmother would be returning to find that she had already left. With Ellen off station and the happenings of the last few days Katya didn't think she could take it. That would be it. She knew that she would never speak to Laura Roslin again if she found her gone from the room. With a deep breath she pushed down any queasiness that had been brewing and decided to walk in as if she were walking into battle. She gave herself a disgusted look in the mirror and left the confinement of the head.
Laura turned when she heard Katya walk back into the room. She was surprised when the girl paused in her tracks. Maybe she should have stayed standing after all.
"Are you alright?" She asked tentatively.

Laura thought that Katya looked a little pale but she wasn't sure if it was just all in her head. After seeing the young woman collapse on stage only a day before she was worried that she would just be making things worse by showing up. When Saul messaged her the cabin number later that night it was with the assurance that Katya had seen the doctor and that all was fine. Now looking at her close up Laura wasn't so sure that he was right. Something about her seemed off. If she wasn't ill then could it be possible that she was just nervous too? Laura didn't think so. Not with the iron glare the girl had.
"I guess I just didn't think that you'd still be here," Katya admitted.

"Were you hoping that I wasn't?" Laura followed.

Katya gave a purposely apathetic shrug and walked over to the sofa. She opted to sit atop the arm of the L-shaped couch as far away from Laura as she could get while still technically on the same piece of furniture. She crossed her arms and waited.

Laura watched her and thought that she truly did seem like a cat the way she balanced her weight with ease on the end of the chair. She only hoped that she wouldn't pounce. Laura knew that she would have to speak first. She'd made the decision to come. Katya was doing as Saul promised she would. She'd let her in but she wasn't offering much else.
Laura swallowed hard before speaking.

"I told you that I came to apologize and I really want to," She started. When Katya's expression went unmoved she continued. "I don't expect you to forgive me for what went on over at Saul and Ellen's but I still want you to know that I'm very sorry for what happened." Laura licked her lips unsure of where to go from there. She was almost certain that Katya hadn't taken much personal offence to anything she overheard about herself. Everyone kept saying how thick skinned and resilient she was. She knew that it was almost certainly what she'd said about Ellen that had enraged Katya the most. She had to appeal to that. "I was very angry and I let my temper dictate my words. I'm very sorry for what I said to Ellen," Laura paused waiting for any change in Katya's expression, but there was nothing. She considered her next words carefully."I had a mother who I loved very dearly too and If I'd ever heard someone speaking to her that way I probably would have had the same reaction as you did."
Katya held her breath as Laura spoke. She wasn't sure what she was expecting but hearing Laura acknowledge Ellen as her mother surprised her. She was glad, even impressed. At least the woman understood that much. Katya let her breath out and offered a nod.

"And I shouldn't have said the things I did about you," Laura added. "Ellen is right. I don't know you well enough."

Katya smirked cynically at Laura's hurried remark.

"No, that's where you're wrong," She finally answered. Though she spoke evenly her voice almost startled Laura who was starting to think the girl would be staying permanently and purposefully mute. "You were pretty dead on when it came to me. What was it you said? Smart mouth, bad attitude?"

"Something like that," Laura answered sheepishly.

Katya nodded again taking her time to ponder her response.

"I can take that. I've been called worse…But I won't ever let anyone speak that way to Ellen."

"Katya I…"

"What was it you called her?" She asked rhetorically speaking over Laura's weak attempt. "Vulgar and manipulative? I think that was it. Hm? I won't even deny it. She's a person with a hundred faults just like me…But here’s the thing; Ellen Tigh took me in when I didn't have a family. She loved me. She held me while I cried at night because for years I couldn't forget the sounds of my father's brains being blown out by a bunch of bots. She did my hair every morning and she stuck little bows on my head and she wiped my snotty little nose when I was sick. So nobody gets to speak to her that way in front of me, ever," Katya said more forcefully.

Laura felt her eyes going wide and her teeth starting to chatter as if she were freezing cold. She forced herself to bite down hard to stop it. Her nerves were completely raw and Katya's blunt words stung like salt in a fresh wound.

"I get it. I get it, Katya. I do…at least I do now. I see now how much you love her and even more so I see how much she loves you," She offered as emphatically as she could.

Katya was glad to hear it. She wanted Laura to know how much she loved Ellen. She wanted her to know that she had a mother in her absence. She wanted to prove to herself that no matter how much she'd ever wanted Laura in her life, she didn't need her.

"She's a good mom. She gave me everything she had to give. I shouldn't have wanted anything more…but I didn't know any better, so I did," Katya said looking Laura up and down with something like accusation, resentment and abhorrence all mixed together. "I probably made her feel worse than your insults ever could and she doesn't deserve any of it," She finished sharply.
Laura didn't know how to respond. She'd expected to leave after the apology but she felt like Katya had just left the door open, albeit a scary and hostile door. She took a deep breath and noticed that the music in the cabin was still playing. Its soothing measure seemed to fight against the tension in the room.

"You were lucky to have her," She managed to say eventually gaining Katya's nodding agreement. At least now she was starting to feel like it was true. She couldn't imagine Ellen doing all of the motherly things that Katya spoke of, but it was painfully obvious that she had. "Saul too," She added. “He's so very proud of you."

The comment got a short facetious snort out of Katya.

"He used to be. I don't think I've made him very proud lately," She admitted.

"I don't know about that, Captain. Saul's pretty easy to upset but the way he speaks about you; it's like the sun rises and sets at your feet," Laura said with an uncertain smile.
Katya rolled her eyes in amusement.

"And I bet you're wondering why," Katya said with a raised brow.

Laura took her turn to quietly shrug. She certainly was wondering. Everyone seemed to love Katya in spite of her many faults. She wondered if she would ever feel the same way. Learning of Katya's true identity hadn't made her seem any less obnoxious or unpleasant. Laura still thought that she had a smart mouth and an awful attitude. She didn't like her. She didn't like her own child and it made her feel absolutely awful.

The two sat without speaking for a few long moments. The soft music was all that was there to fill the silence.

"This piece is very pretty," Laura said almost without meaning to.

The music had at some point started to calm her nerves. Something about the fluidity of the arrangement playing in the background had helped her get this far.
Katya nodded.

"It's one of my favorites. It's by a composer named Pyoter Tchaikovsky. He lived on the surface of Earth over four hundred years ago in the Eastern Federation sector, back when it was called the Russian Empire. He wrote the most beautiful ballets that ever existed on the planet."

Laura almost couldn't believe the response she'd gotten. It was the first non-hostile thing Katya had said to her since the time she taught her how to use the halo dryer. It took her off guard. Katya looked sort of entranced by the music for a moment. Maybe it was helping her get through the conversation too. Laura recalled watching her graceful performance the day before. She wondered if the music had been from the same composer, but she didn't dare ask. She had a feeling that Katya would never know how she'd watched her dance. For now it was better that way.

"Alexi likes to keep it on when we tutor students here. He says it helps them absorb information better. That's why that little boy was here. We both tutor for the EOES…I can shut it off if you want," She offered.

"No, no. Please don't," Laura quickly answered." It's beautiful."

It was but she also didn't know if either of them could continue to sit there without its melody between them.

"Tchaikovsky's piano concerto 1, in B-flat minor," Katya rattled off as if she was speaking to herself.

She was at a loss as to what they were supposed to do now. Laura had said that she’s come to apologize. She had. Was she waiting for her apology to be officially accepted? The fact that Katya had even listened to it was pretty much all that she could offer. What was supposed to happen now? Would she excuse herself?

Katya supposed that she could ask her to leave. Laura knew that she and Alexi had a flight coming up. It wouldn't be all that rude considering their plans but Katya suddenly found herself hesitating to make her go.

"The Eastern Federation," Laura started. "That's where your families are from? I mean you and the Sergeant? Bill tried to explain the sectors to me."

"Yes...Well. our foster families, I suppose I should say," Katya huffed at the clarification."Still, we've taken on their heritage as our own. We don't know anything else. Gamma was our station back when the people first started migrating to Orbit. Even though all four sectors had integrated long before I was born my father wanted me to keep the old traditions of the Eastern Federation alive so that someday I might be able to bring them back down to the surface again. I practiced ballet almost all of my life just trying to do that for him. Then I enlisted because, what good is a ballerina during wartime? At least as a soldier I have more of a purpose but with the way things are I doubt that I’ll live to bring a damn thing back to Earth."

The girl's solemn remark cut at Laura like sharpened blade. She remembered hearing young members of the fleet saying the same sort of thing. They fought for a future they were convinced they would never see. It used to hurt her to hear those soldiers speak that way but hearing her daughter say it was brutal.

"You don't know that, Katya," Laura offered but the girl had no reaction.

"I still like to listen to the music though. My father shared it with me and I like to share it with the students," Katya continued as she looked off into nothing.

Laura went to speak. She wanted to tell her about how she used to play music for her own students. She wanted to tell her how she agreed with Alexi on his theory of how it stimulates young minds, but like a sharp turn on a winding road Katya caught her completely off guard.

"I know what you must think of my father," The girl said suddenly looking back at her, no longer lost and staring into space.

Laura was too shocked to respond.

"I don't blame you either. Mikhail Isakoff was a complex man," Katya went on. "He made many decisions that would make him seem like a monster to most but he was trying to serve his people. He was trying make sure that they had a future by any means necessary...I know what he did to you. I've seen it all. Ellen says that now you know too," She said boring into Laura's eyes. "I know that it was wrong just like I know that I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for him. There have been times when I've been grateful for that and times when it's made me want to hate his guts for ever creating me."
Laura nearly lost her breath at the out-of-nowhere admission. When the shock faded away it was replaced by a new sense of grief. This young woman, her own child had grown up constantly torn between being grateful to be alive and wishing she'd never been born. What kind of life could that have been for a little girl?

Katya couldn't stop herself. She wanted to but so much was suddenly flooding out of her and none of it was what she'd ever planned to say to the woman in front of her.

"I don't though…hate him, I mean. He loved me, no matter what Saul and Ellen think. I at least know that. He gave me a culture to claim as my own, a family history to look back on. He made me understand the importance of knowing where you come from and how it makes you who you are. That's why I tried to hang on to the traditions I could. I did a pretty piss poor job…but I still try to hold on to the little things. Did you know we aren't even supposed to speak the language anymore?" She asked not waiting for Laura's answer. "We don't listen of course but it's been removed from the network along with the others in place of a universal one. They can't take the music away though. These sounds are about as universal as it gets. Everyone can understand them," Katya shrugged as she looked around the room.

Laura was at a loss. She wished so badly that she had something worth saying to the girl. When she first sat down she never imagined she'd get more than two words out of her and now Katya had given her so much more. It was just that everything she'd given was all so heartbreaking that she couldn't begin to know how to respond. Even so, even with every awful little detail she just couldn't help wanting Katya to keep going. Laura suddenly couldn't get enough of her. She couldn't hear enough of the sound of her voice, of the way she fiddled with the ends of her hair, even the way her dark lashes fell against her cheeks when she blinked. The feeling had snuck up on her as Katya spoke. She didn't know how she'd gone from being totally afraid of her to completely enamored with everything she said and did. She was becoming infatuated with something that scared the hell out of her. It was so very strange. She didn't understand it but even so, she knew that she would sit there taking it all in until she was finally forced to leave.

"That's a nice way of thinking of it," Laura finally offered. "Maybe you shouldn't be so hard on yourself about what traditions you keep. We all struggled with that when we left the Colonies. Some traditions stayed, some died along with all the people we lost. If you can even keep one thing alive, something like this music, then you're accomplishing a great deal."

Katya bit her lip as she took in Laura's words. She hadn't exactly been expecting her to respond. Since they met they'd really only exchanged short insults and now she was at least attempting something akin to civil conversation. Laura was getting brave. At least she'd lived up to that much of her reputation. She had taken what Katya had shoveled out so far but for some reason it just made her want to test the woman further. She knew that Laura hadn't just come to apologize. She was looking for something more. Katya would give it to her, if only to see if she could handle it. Better they both know now.

"You know, it's funny…" Katya started.

She let her words hang in the air like bait.

"What is?" Laura took it readily.

"When I was younger listening to these compositions always made me think of the history of the place on Earth where my family came from. It made me think of the wars, the ever-shifting authority, the art, the people, the sounds and somehow I was able to lose myself in it while I danced…but only for a while," Katya paused as the light in her eyes seemed to darken, "Because inevitably, without fail, some note or some tone of an instrument would snap me back into reality and I'd remember another family history…my true family history and then I'd remember that none of it; not the sounds, not the notes, or the instruments, not even the people playing them would exist if you hadn't dragged your tired ass through the damn galaxy and landed here."

Laura's eyes shot open and her throat closed tight as Katya's words hit her like a fist.

"It always comes back to you," She continued, "Everything in my life has always come back to you and I just can't get the hell away from it."

Laura couldn't stop her eyes from watering any longer so she just let them. She blinked away the tears and forced herself to look back into the eyes that were staring her down. She could only remind herself of one thing over and over; they were Bill's eyes.

"Do you want to?” Laura asked in a near whisper. “Get away from it, I mean?”

They both sat holding their breath while the future teetered in front of them, each afraid of any direction it might fall in. Suddenly even the music wasn't enough to fill the space left.

"No," Katya answered simply.

Laura let her breath out and nodded over and over. She let the tears in her eyes quietly fall and she ran her hand through the crown of her hair. Something like relief washed through her but she was no less afraid of the future, she was just grateful that there might be one. When her vision cleared and she looked back up Katya was gone. For a split second she panicked before she heard the sound of the cooler door shutting. Soon Katya was behind her holding out a water bottle for Laura to take. She felt an odd sense of familiarity and then she remembered Ellen doing the same in the lab. She took it and nodded thankfully when she couldn't speak.

"You should try and calm down," Katya said plainly. "Drink some of that. I'll be right back."

When Laura was sure that Katya was out of the room she leaned over and let herself cry as softly as she could. She didn't even know exactly what she was crying over. She'd never felt such a cacophony of emotions at one time. It was as close to madness as she could imagine being but she also knew at that moment she didn't want to be anywhere else.

In the bedroom Katya sat on the side of the rack trying to get her heart rate back to normal. She ran a hand over her chest. Her increased blood pressure was making the new soreness in her breasts worse and the stupid athletic bra that she was still wearing wasn't helping. The pain was the only thing distracting her from analyzing what had just gone on. She felt like she'd just been through some sort of strange purging. Gathering her composure she quickly sent a message to Alexi letting him know they'd be through soon. The poor guy had sent about a half a dozen worried messages of his own asking what was going on inside his cabin. He was sitting outside the hatch, having returned from bringing Maks home long ago. He'd been talking with Laura's guard and listening for trouble at the door ever since. She would let him in soon, but not yet. For some reason she wanted more time. Katya took a deep breath and stood from the bed.

When she walked into the living room Laura didn't notice. She was grateful to see that she looked a good deal more composed. Katya wasn't quite ready to handle the woman's tears. When she noticed that Laura was staring up at a shelf on the adjacent wall she took a moment to watch her from afar. She knew that it was weird but ever since Laura resurrected she'd been missing her hair. She missed the way she'd get to play with it and run her fingers through the long coppery locks back in the lab. Since she was a little girl she'd always had a strange affinity for it. It hadn't faded after Laura downloaded, not even when she was furious at her, though at those points she mostly wanted to pull it out of her head. She used to spend so much time brushing it when Laura was out of stasis and now she figured that she'd never get to touch it again. It was such a stupid thing to miss.

With a shake of her head Katya continued to walk toward the sofa.

"Matryoshka," She said, finally alerting Laura to her presence.

When Laura saw Katya's eyes she was relieved to see most of the darkness gone from them.

"What?" She asked unsure of what Katya had said.

For all she knew she'd just cursed at her.

"Matryoshka" Katya repeated, "The doll you were staring at; it's called a matryoshka," She clarified walking over to the shelf and reaching to retrieve it. “That is what you were looking it, isn't it?”

“Yes.”

When Katya returned she took a seat beside Laura leaving some space for comfort and handed her the pear shaped little doll. Laura took it and turned it slowly in her still shaking hands marveling at the beautiful colors and detail. Its vibrant hues had been what caught her eye in the first place.

"When my father died Dr. Petrov…Alexi's dad had it made for me to try and make me smile. It's a traditional doll from the Eastern Federation. Petrov shared my father's heritage and his pride of it. He painted it himself," Katya explained.

"It's beautiful," Laura said looking down as she held it in both hands.

"He had the model printed from composite resin. Traditionally down on the surface they were made of wood but we don't really have much of that up here. We hardly have paper. I think I used half the station's supply when I had your books printed. Not too many trees around here as you can see," Katya said musingly gesturing around the cabin for emphasis.

Suddenly her last few words registered with Laura.

"Books? Those books in my cabin. They came from you?" She asked.

"Who'd you think put them there? Vladi?" Katya mocked with a bemused grin.

"I don't know. I guess I didn't really think about it," Laura admitted.

"My uncle said that you and the Admiral used to like to read together. Uncle Saul even said that he saw him reading to you when you were sick. He said that it was special to you. I knew that you read paper bound books but we don't have those here. I'd never even seen one. There wasn't even a preset for it on the merchandise printer. I had to format it myself. I'm sorry if they weren't exactly right. I tried to read them myself before you got here…It was a little awkward…all the page turning," She said shaking her head and mimicking the motion with her hands. "I'm sure they weren't near as good as what you used to have."

Katya didn't know how anyone ever read like that anyway. It seemed so bulky and primitive.

"No…they were perfect," Laura said breathily.

At that point they could have been loose pages totally out of order and Laura would have considered them to be best books that she'd ever laid her hands on. She didn't know what she was feeling but it was overwhelming. She remembered the first time Bill had ever put a book in her hands. The memory still filled her with warmth. The fact that their daughter had left them each a book as a gift completely took her breath away. She didn't know the girl in front of her at all, but now she knew that she wanted to.

"One of the stories that I had printed, The Maltese Falcon, it's over three hundred years old. I wanted to show you something that was written back on the surface. Dawn on Delta is modern. They're both mysteries though. Uncle Saul said that's what the Admiral liked. I'm sorry there aren't more. I can show you how to access the literature library on the network though. That's how I do my reading," Katya shrugged.

"I'd like that very much," Laura said smiling and letting her hands fall limply to her lap. As she did she felt something rattle around within the doll she still held. She picked it up and shook it giving Katya an inquisitive look.

"Open it," Katya smirked.

Laura looked like she didn't quite understand.

"Twist it in the middle," Katya mimed with her own hands.

Laura hesitantly did as she was told and to her surprise the top separated from the bottom. Nested within the outer shell was a smaller doll of the same shape, also painted intricately in a similar pattern. Laura couldn't help when her smile grew over the odd little trinket.

"Now do it again," Katya told her with a little chuckle.

Laura handed over the first layer to Katya who reconnected the pieces and sat the rejoined doll beside them on the coffee table.

Laura then twisted the smaller doll's middle until it too separated in her hands revealing a third, equally as beautiful, hidden inside.

Laura laughed and Katya couldn't help but be amused at the look on her face. It was humorous to watch someone experience the dolls for the first time. Katya took the second layer from her, again rejoining it and placing it on the table next to the first.

"Keep going," She encouraged.

"You're kidding?"

"I might be but don't you wana see?"

Katya bit her lip to quell her grin as she watched Laura eagerly open the next doll. She remembered showing it to Saul for the first time. He became quickly frustrated with the concept and quit halfway through.

Laura opened five more in a similar fashion, passing each to Katya until there were seven dolls of recessing size lined beside them on the table. She held the eighth and smallest in her hand sure that she was through.

"There can't be anything in this little one. It's too small," Laura said holding it between her thumb and index finger.

Katya shrugged smugly in response and Laura returned the look with a challenging squint. She looked at the little doll in her hands and carefully twisted once more until it popped open. Inside was a tiny figure of similar shape painted far more plainly than the rest. Its only details were a round cherubic face and the appearance of a painted blanket swaddling it from head to toe.

"Traditionally the last one is painted like a baby and it's always made from one solid piece. That's how you know that you're at the end," Katya explained.

Laura rolled it between her fingers. She was surprised to find herself suddenly swell with emotion instead of amusement at the end result of the demonstration. It was stupid, it was nothing. It was five minutes of playful distraction over a silly toy, but it was the first time her daughter had really smiled right at her and it was amazing.

"Something wrong?" Katya asked.

Laura cleared her throat and shook her head.

"It's a beautiful keepsake," She said squeezing the peanut sized baby doll within her fist.

Laura watched as Katya took the dolls on the table and started to stack them one inside the other. She felt like her heart was about to burst out of her chest and still she had to sit there and act composed. There were so many little things that she was starting to notice. Katya had her hands. It seemed like such a strange thing to have inherited but there they were. As she watched her nesting the toy back together it was almost like she was watching her own hands at work; the bony fingers and the hyper extended pinky that seemed to jut out on its own no matter how she moved the rest of her digits. Logically she'd acknowledged that Katya was hers but something about seeing her hands made it sink in deep. She really was her daughter. She really had a child, her own flesh and blood. Her blood, Laura thought as she took a long shuddering breath. She'd been sitting there watching her, subconsciously trying to find anything that might allude to the sub-Cylon abilities that the girl was supposed to have, the ones she herself had apparently passed down, but she couldn't find a thing. Katya seemed like a normal girl, a troubled one, but very human. Laura chastised herself for trying to look so hard for something that shouldn't matter anyway. It wasn't like she'd ever been able to tell that something was different about Saul or Ellen just by looking at them. She just wanted to know. She wanted to understand what it was that made Katya different. Since Bill had told her she'd been second guessing every dream, every vision, every little feeling and notion she’d experienced after Baltar's cure and since her resurrection on Alpha. She didn't know where she ended and the Cylon influence began. If she could observe it in Katya then maybe she could better understand that part of herself. Though it made her shiver to think about Laura had a feeling that she'd been dealing with it without knowing for longer than she cared to admit.

"Oh, wait, Katya. You forgot to put the last one back in," Laura said holding out the tiny painted piece now warm from her hand.
She'd been holding onto it so tightly, lost in thought.

"No I didn't," Katya said standing up and putting the matryoshka back on the shelf.

Laura held out the baby figure in confusion.

"Keep it," Katya told her.

"I couldn't. It'll ruin your set."

It was the last one, the tiny little surprise at the end. It seemed like a pretty important part of the tradition. Laura held it up for Katya to take but she shook her head.

"No it won't. You're the first person who’s gotten any enjoyment out of it in years anyway. Besides, when I was little I used to feel bad for that little piece because it was always hidden so far inside. It took forever to get to and by the time it saw the light of day it was time to put it back in again. This way at least it's out in the open," Katya mused. "It made you smile. Keep it."

Laura felt her heart skip a beat imagining Katya playing with the dolls as a little girl and having such a sweet and innocent reaction to the state of the lonely little inner figure.

"What if you want to pass it down one day? Keep the tradition going?" Laura smiled.

Katya bit the inside of her lip as warmth surged into her cheeks. She tried hard to suppress the expression threatening to emerge on her face.

"Just…keep it," She repeated more forcefully than she meant to, "Please?" She added, hoping it would make up for her tone.

Laura nodded and tried to stop her eyes from welling.

"Thank you," She said softly.

A knock came from the hatch before it opened and Alexi stuck his head in.

"I'm sorry to interrupt but, Katya we should really get a move on," Alexi warned.

He hadn't been able to pack his bag yet and he was sure that Katya hadn't started either. If they were going to make their flight, or at least get to the deck in enough time to avoid pissing off the Colonel they would need to get going.

"Come on in, Alexi. Go ahead and go pack," Katya called to him, amused that he was keeping half of his body on the other side of the door.

He walked in and stopped to look his wife up and down.

"Uh tyebya vsyo v'aryadke?" He asked.

"Dah, Alexi. Go pack," She said waving him off and rolling her eyes.

He nodded to Laura before he left the room and she gave him a pleasant smile.

"I should go, Captain," Laura said standing up from her seat.

Part of her didn't want to. Part of her wanted to stay and listen to everything the girl had to say to her good or bad. She wanted to stay looking into her deep ocean eyes and at all of the expressions she made; some that were Bill's some that were Lee's, she even thought she saw Sandra in there at one point when she really truly smiled. She could tell that Katya still didn't think much of her and she wasn't sure how she felt about her in return, but as they’d sat there together with no one else around to butt in Laura's biggest fear had been quelled. She did want to know her daughter. Even more so, she wanted to find a way to love her whether she ever learned to like her or not. She knew that much for certain and now she wanted to run to Bill and tell him.
Katya nodded and gestured to the door.

"I want to thank you for giving me some time," Laura said wondering just how they were going to leave things.

Katya quietly nodded again. She was wondering the same. She was nowhere near ready to hug Laura, nor did she want to but she knew that she'd put her through the ringer and the woman had hung in there with her the entire time. She felt bad letting her leave without something to let her know that it hadn't all been for nothing, that it wasn't the last time they would speak.
"When I get back from Beta I'll show you how to access the library," She offered.

Laura smiled and nodded in a small gesture of gratitude but inside she was praising whatever was left in the universe to thank.

"I’d appreciate that very much, Captain," She said as she walked toward the door with Katya following close behind. "And thank you for this," She said holding out the little figure in her hands.
Looking down at the tiny baby again she was sure that she was going to burst into tears as soon as she left the cabin. She just had to keep it together for a few more moments.
"Well, now you have some E-fed culture too," Katya teased.

"Maybe one day you'd like to hear about your other heritage…Caprican and Tauron," Laura attempted but the wary look that immediately shown in Katya's eyes told her that she'd just overstepped a bit.
"Maybe," Katya answered.

Maybe was enough for now, for both of them.

"Safe flight, Captain," Laura said crossing over the hatch step.

Katya nodded in thanks and offered a barely there smile before closing the door. When it clicked shut she slunk down beside it and cried her eyes out.
--------------------------------------------
Requested apx. translations:
_"Yehst, myshka," He told her. She nodded and took a bite.(Eat, my little mouse)
_"Da'vai," Alexi's voice broke the tension.(Let's go.)
_"Privheyt, Katya," The boy greeted (Hello)
_"Dah," He said happily. (Yes)
_"Kah roh'shoh," He beamed.(Well/Good)
_Sha = Shhh
_"Uspokoysya, Katya, pozhaluista? (Keep calm/Stay settled, Please)
_"Uh tyebya vsyo v'aryadke?" He asked.(Are you alright/ Are you okay?)

Chapter 21: Chapter 21

Chapter Text

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

ALPHA STATION MILITARY FLIGHT DECK

YEAR 2325

When Alexi found Katya in a heap on the floor in front of the hatch he'd gone white as sheet. His anxiety and sense of protectiveness was already on overdrive and the sight of her in such a state made him immediately panic. Katya felt awful when she couldn't manage to speak in a coherent enough manner to let him know that she was okay. She knew how worried he must be but the jumbled mess of sobs and gasps were all that she could manage at his rapid fire of concerned questions. She could only nod and shake her head accordingly as he asked if she was alright, if she was in pain, if she need help. She wasn't able to tell him what was wrong as he asked over and over gripping her at the shoulders and running his eyes worriedly up and down her body. Her voice was useless; suppressed by the wracking cries and uncontrollable gasps. It was when he lost his patients and went to physically pick her up to take her to the ward that she was able to gather herself enough to verbally protest and even then he almost didn't listen. Finally able to get a few words out of her he asked what was wrong only to have her answer that she didn't know. It was true. She hadn't been expecting the tears to come but as the hatch clicked shut with Laura on the other side it was as if twenty-two years worth of emotion came flooding out at once. She didn't know what their meeting meant. She wasn't sure if it meant anything but she'd gotten to speak to her mom. She'd finally had an honest and uninterrupted conversation with the woman whose embrace she'd coveted her entire life without knowing why. It was surreal. It both hurt and felt good at the same time. It was nothing like she thought it would be but it had happened, really and truly and it threw her for a loop.

When Alexi asked if it went well Katya didn't know what to tell him. To say yes sounded wrong. To say no sounded worse. It happened and that was all she could process for the time being. He packed her bags as she took a near scalding shower, letting whatever was left of the physical emotion rise off her with the steam or pour down into the drain with the water.

Now in uniform and hurrying toward their shuttle on deck she hoped that she looked at least somewhat composed and that the redness of her eyes would fade before she saw Ellen again.

"Well you look like hell," Saul greeted when she and Alexi rushed to attention by his side.

"Thank you, Sir," She answered, once again able to employ their typical banter.

Saul could tell she'd recently been in tears. He knew her well enough to know when she'd been crying.

"How was your morning, Captain?" He asked with an inquisitive glint in his eye.

"Fine."

"Go to PT?" He asked.

"Yes, Sir."

Saul quickly glanced at Alexi for any sign that she was lying.

"Good girl. Anything…else?" He asked probing for a hint.

He hadn't heard from Laura yet but he didn't need to.

"No, Sir," She lied.

Saul smirked and nodded as he looked down at his wrist to schedule a later shuttle to Beta Station for Laura and Bill.

"Let's load up," He said once he was done.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 126B: ASSIGNMENT; ROSLIN/ADAMA

YEAR: 2315

"We have a shuttle in three hours," Bill said looking down at his cuff. "Looks like Saul kept his end of the deal. We leave at 1600."

Laura took a deep breath and nodded. She'd calmed down but every now and then her breath would still shudder down her lungs as she inhaled.

After leaving Katya's quarters she'd held it together for the entire walk back to their cabin but when she burst through the hatch and saw Bill standing there she'd thrown herself into his arms and finally let go. He'd been totally confused and caught off guard but more than that he'd been incredibly worried. He didn't think he'd ever heard Laura cry that way and he was sure something awful happened. In her hysterics he couldn't make out a thing she was saying, if they'd even been words at all. He pleaded with her to tell him what was wrong but for a while she just couldn't get her mouth to cooperate. By her clothes and the state of her hair he could tell she'd never made it to the gym. When he'd asked where she'd been she was finally able to murmur her answer into the skin of his neck wet from her tears.

"Katya," Was all that she said.

At the sound of the girl's name Bill became irate. He was positive there had been another confrontation between the two of them. Pulling away from Laura he vowed to find the young soldier and give her a piece of his mind and a kick to the ass. No matter what had gone on between the two women he wouldn't let anyone bring Laura to tears like that, especially not his own child. He'd rushed to the hatch with intent. He was ready to give a verbal lashing that would make up for the twenty-two years of discipline he'd missed out on but Laura's sudden vehement protests stopped him. She nearly dragged him away from the door as she tried to find the words to explain. She couldn't. Every time she went to speak her larynx tensed and her eyes flooded making it impossible. She shook her head in frustration and when she couldn't think of anything else to do to quell the angry and bewildered expression on Bill's face she remembered what she still held tightly in her hand. Laura reached for Bill's wrist and placed the tiny matryoshka doll within his palm. As he looked at it even more confusion clouded his eyes. For a moment he was worried it was something the damn centurion had given her. Then he felt the warmth coming off of the small token and he knew she'd been clutching whatever it was for some time. When he looked back to her and saw the way she was staring down at the funny little object he knew where it had probably come from.

"Did Katya give you this?" He asked in a low voice.

Laura pressed her lips together to hold back a sob and nodded.

Bill took another look at it trying to imagine what might have gone on between them.

"What is it?" He asked.

In an unsteady voice that barely squeaked past her lips she was able to answer.

"A toy," She told him, unable to elaborate, "From when she was a little girl."

Bill felt relief wash over his heart. His anger quickly abated. He gave Laura a sympathetic nod and a small smile, though he eyes showed how happy he truly was. Taking her hand he put the little doll back into her palm that still bore a red impression from where she'd been squeezing it so tightly. When she clutched her fingers around it again he took her in his arms at let her release the rest of her tears knowing that she'd tell him more when she could.

When Laura started to calm Bill was able to ask her some simple questions about when she decided to go and how long she'd been there but when Saul's message came their conversation was interrupted.

"He's invited us to a late dinner too," Bill added as he read the words on the screen of his cuff.

Laura only nodded in acknowledgment and her silence had him concerned.

"Laura are you sure you're up for this?" He asked.

She nodded again.

"Yes. I'm sure."

It was the truth. Laura was through sitting around their cabin just waiting for whatever fate this life held to find her. After the morning she had she knew it wasn't going to work that way. All the pain she'd been through had been worth it just to see her child smile at her in the end. She never imagined something so small could bring her so much joy, so much hope. That one smile had lifted all of her doubts about being there, all of her resentments over being brought back. She didn't know if she would ever get more than a polite smile out of her daughter but it was enough for her to hold on to and it wouldn't have happened if she hadn't taken the risk and sought her out. They were there for a purpose, so they were told, but if they didn't try to find out what that was, it very well may never find them.

"It's time to get to work, Bill."

LOCATION: BETA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY VISITOR'S QUARTERS; ASSIGNMENT PETROV/ISAKOFF

YEAR: 2315

"Why is everyone in here?" Katya complained as she stretched out across the sofa of her temporary quarters.

"Aww, aren't you happy to see us, Cap?" Margot winked as she took a seat in a chair nearby.

Visitor's quarters on Beta were tight. It was like an entire cabin shoved into one room. There was a sitting area with a wet bar and a sleeping area with a dresser. The only perk was a civilian style bed that was far more comfortable than anything they normally got to sleep on.

"I just came 'cause Alexi said your bar was stocked," The Colonel answered as he rummaged in their cooler for some ice. "Either they forgot to fill ours or Ellen's already been through it," He half joked as he placed some cubes in a glass.

"Yeah well it's getting crowded," Katya said with an exaggerated huff.

"It's crowded 'cause you're taking up the entire couch. Move," Blaze said with a drink in hand, grimacing down at Katya's feet.

"No way. It's my room. Go sit on the bed. I'm tired," She protested.

"Katya, we came here to all be together," Alexi warned from where he sat in the only chair in the room big enough to fit his large frame. "Let the man sit."

Katya rolled her eyes and let out small groan.

"Fine. Sit," She told the lieutenant as she bent her knees to make room for him.

"Thanks, Cap. You're so gracious and welcoming," He mocked as he flopped down.

Once he was settled Katya extended her legs again and rested her feet right across Blazer's lap. He looked down at them and then back at her puckish grin.

"You wanted to be together," She teased.

He nodded giving in with a pat to her ankle. He was already buzzed enough to become her reluctant foot rest.

"Specialist, you want a drink?" Saul asked Margot as he walked up to the sitting area.

"No thanks, Colonel. I'm saving that for tonight. I have a feeling it's gunna get a little crazy and if I start now I won't make it."

"You kids don't overdo it," Saul warned as he took a seat. "I don't want any of you still half in the bag in front of the EOC at tomorrow morning's briefing. Since the Alpha download was a success they're letting press in this time."

"I can't make any promises, Sir," Blaze said taking a swig of his drink.

"You better, L.T," He answered.

Alexi nodded at the Colonel, assuring him they'd all watch out for their friend who seemed uncharacteristically on edge.

"I'm staying with my mother," Margot said as she stretched in her chair. "I'll stay out as long as I can to avoid going back to that room."

"Stay with me," Blaze offered. "I have space. Ellen took Sydra here with her. At least that way she can visit you without it being awkward and no offence Margot, but your mom is officially fucking crazy. You should have heard what she was saying to me in the lab yesterday."

"Tell me something I don't know," Margot groaned putting her hands over her face.

"What did she say?" Katya asked.

"You don't want to know," Blaze grumbled into his glass.

"You can't just say that and then drop it," She urged nudging her feet stubbornly into his thigh.

The force of the kick she gave him almost made his drink spill.

"Ow! You lunatic," Blaze said, swatting her feet away. "I dunno. She said a lot of stuff. She was being really weird about it," He said glossing over the doctor's dark analysis of what she hoped was their short lived lineage. Her main point was that I should stay away from Helo and Athena once they resurrect," He admitted.

"Why's that?" Alexi asked leaning forward.

"Le Blanc said that since Katya's experience with Roslin and Adama went so poorly she thought that it would be best if Margot and I just leave the others alone and let them focus on finding their true purpose."

Blaze shrugged and shook his head.

"She said that?" Katya asked, "What the hell does she know about it anyway?"

"I mean, I guess I've told her what's been going on," Margot admitted. "And you know Ellen updates her every day."

"Still, she doesn't have the right to tell you two what to do," Katya insisted.

"She's making a suggestion," Margot shrugged with only a hint toward her mother's defense. "I dunno if I agree with it or her reasoning but Blaze is right. She said the same to me."

"You two don't have to listen to her, Saul started. "You hear me? She put you here and now she's got to deal with what's coming because of that."

"Maybe she's right," Blaze shrugged. "Maybe we should listen to her."

Katya felt for her friend. There were very few times she'd ever seen him so disenchanted.

"You shouldn't," Katya answered. "Trust me."

If it had been a day before she might not have given them the same advice but today things were a bit different. Le Blanc didn't know what she was talking about.

When a knock came from the hatch Alexi went to open it.

Katya rolled her eyes and groaned out loud at the prospect of yet another visitor to the crowded cabin.

"Really? What's the maximum capacity of this room?" She whined, but when the door opened she was actually happy to see who was on the other side.

"Hello, sweetie," Ellen greeted Alexi with a hug and a kiss in the air when she couldn't quite reach his cheek."I'm so sorry that I wasn't there to greet you on the deck. There was a little issue with the delivery from the basestar. Sydra and I got held up," She explained.

It was a complete lie. In reality Ellen had been dealing with the consequences of her husband's promise to Laura Roslin. An earlier message from Saul had confirmed that Laura completed her end of the bargain which meant Ellen had extra work to do on Beta Station. She'd stood firm in her conditions to the security administration and now Roslin and Adama were now on their way there from Alpha Station in a heavy raider escorted shuttle.

"That's alright, Ellen. We're just settling in," Alexi told her.

"Huh, I see that. Looks like the party's in here," She smiled looking over at where the rest sat.

"Apparently," Katya remarked from the sofa.

"I'll make you a drink, Ellen" Alexi offered heading to the cooler as she made her way over to the group.

"There's my girl," Ellen greeted.

Katya finally freed Blazer's legs and stood to hug her.

"I'm so happy you're here, kitten," Ellen told her as they tightly embraced.

"Well I wouldn't be anywhere else," Katya answered looking back at Blaze and giving him a wink.

"You look...better," Ellen said leaning back to take her in.

Ellen knew from Saul that something had indeed transpired between Laura and Katya that morning, she just didn't know what. She could see that Katya must have been crying earlier. The redness in her eyes had faded but Ellen could always tell. The slight puffiness to her lower lids was a dead giveaway. There was something else though; something Ellen couldn't quite pin. Katya's behavior at dinner the night before still had her paranoid. She was almost certain something wasn't right.

"Thanks, Aunt Ellen. That really sounded sincere," Katya joked, "The hesitation is a real confidence booster."

"Oh, stop it. You do seem better. You look tired but you seem better and I'm happy to see it," Ellen said leaning in for another hug.

"She gets two hugs and I don't even get a hello?" Saul teased, standing up out of his seat.

"Of course you do," Ellen said, turning to greet her husband. She was past being upset with him over his little arrangement with Laura. It needed to happen and he was the only one who seemed able to get it done. She was just glad that he was there with her now. She was always more at ease when her family was all together. "I'm happy to see you too, Saul and I'll do more than just hug you later if you play your cards right," She flirted between two short kisses, gaining a groan from all four kids.

"Please keep it to yourselves this weekend," Katya over-dramatically pleaded as she returned to her seat. "I don't have the stomach for it right now."

Neither Saul or Ellen paid their young cohorts any mind.

"So, you're all coming to dinner tonight, right?" Ellen asked expectantly.

"You're asking them like they have a choice, Ellen," Saul smugly smirked.

"I'll be there," Margot answered, "Mom's orders."

"Blaze?" Ellen asked searching his face and missing his usual smile.

"Gotta start the night off somehow, I guess," He answered before finishing the last few drops of his drink.

"Kit? You feel up to it?" Ellen asked.

"Yes. I feel fine. I told you I'd be there."

"We'll both be at dinner, Ellen," Alexi added, stepping up and handing over her drink.

"You're coming out after, aren't you, Kat?" Margot asked.

"I…want to," Katya answered honestly.

"That might not be best," Alexi interrupted.

"What? You have to," Margot countered. "We all went out the night before last time. It's Blazer's turn and we should all be together."

"Did Tawny change your meds the other day?" Saul asked glancing at Katya.

He knew that she shouldn't be drinking on the pill she'd first been prescribed. She hadn't been very informative during dinner the night before and he'd had little patience for her poor mood. He couldn't remember if she'd mentioned it. The last thing he and Ellen needed was to be worrying about her when they had such a task at hand.

Katya paused for a moment.

"I'm not taking those anymore," She mumbled.

"So then you're golden," Margot joked. "Just don't toss the shots back too hard and your neck will be fine."

Katya laughed despite the awkward air.

"Leave it to the engineer to figure out the logistics of any situation. How can I say no to that?" She smiled at her friend.

"Kat," Alexi warned with a concerned look.

"We'll see," She corrected. "Maybe if I rest until dinner," She shrugged hoping to appease the group.

Ellen squinted at the scene as she sipped at her full glass. Usually when Alexi was insistent Katya became spitefully contrary. There was something odd about her bending to his writ. Still, Ellen was just as concerned as the sergeant seemed to be. Katya shouldn't be pushing herself until she was fully healed.

"That's a good idea, baby," She agreed. "Why don't we all clear out and let her do that? We can pick this little shindig up later," Ellen proposed to the room.

"Kitten needs a cat nap?" Blaze mocked before kicking back the last sip of his drink.

Katya squinted in his direction.

"Get out, Blazer."

Her remark made the young man chuckle.

"C'mon," Ellen directed. "Everyone out."

"Well, sounds like a plan to me," Saul agreed as he checked his cuff and set his glass down on the coffee table, "Lieutenant, what do you say you take a break from the booze and accompany me to the deck? There's another shuttle coming in from Alpha and someone should be there to greet them," The Colonel said offering Blaze his hand.

The younger man took it and pulled himself up. He knew he should stop anyway. Margot was right. At this rate he wouldn't make it through the night.

"Yes, Sir," He answered doing his best to seem competent, though he had a feeling the Colonel would be sympathetic to the plight of a day's work under the influence.

"Who else is coming in from Alpha?" Katya asked standing to see them out.

Besides Sydra the only Alpha residents with clearance to be at the actual download were standing in the room and Katya was pretty sure everyone who was invited to the briefing had already arrived.

"Just a few more station representatives Kaplan approved last minute," Saul vaguely answered.

"Alright everyone clear out," Ellen urged again hoping to stop the conversation short. She wanted to talk to Katya before she found out who was coming and she had some other things she wanted to address in relative privacy. "Kitten, you come and find me when you get up. I want to talk to you, okay? Let's say 1800?"

"Sure, yeah okay," Katya agreed.

"Good. Here, honey, as long as you're off the meds finish my drink," Ellen offered, handing over the nearly full glass.

Ellen tilted her head as she waited for her to reach for it. When Katya hesitated she narrowed her eyes and gave the girl a quizzical smirk.

"I'll take it," Alexi intercepted causing Ellen to scowl. "I was busy playing bartender. Never made one for myself," He shrugged.

Katya rolled her eyes and shook her head.

Ellen had a strange feeling. She knew her kids and they weren't acting quite right.

"1800, Kit," She repeated more sternly before following the others out of the room.

With everyone gone the unfamiliar quarters took on a silent air.

"Has anyone ever told you that you lack finesse, Sergeant?" Katya scoffed as she walked away from her husband to go sit on the nearby bed.

He ignored her dig and abandoned Ellen's drink on the coffee table.

"How are you feeling, myshka?" He asked as he followed. "I mean really."

"Alexi, I'm fine," She said taking off her tunic and tossing it aside. "I'm not even tired. I just wanted some space," She admitted as she sat on the side of the soft mattress. Though she teased them she'd actually enjoyed spending some time with her loved ones but now a reprieve was needed. "Between dinner tonight and the download tomorrow I just thought it would be nice for you and I to have a second to ourselves," She explained giving him a small smile and taking a seat on the edge of the mattress.

"Maybe we shouldn't have come," Alexi frowned.

"No, no. That's not what I mean. I'm glad we're here. I mean, you know I hate leaving the Alpha quadrant but at least we're all together. Everyone we love is over here. This is where we need to be now. Just because I wanted to be alone with you for a while doesn't mean I don't want to be here," She insisted.

Alexi rubbed at his chin and nodded.

"I know, Yekaterina. I just can't help feeling like…we're avoiding it."

Katya reached for her husband's hand. It was warm and she ran her thumb over the callus he'd developed years ago from target practice.

"There's nothing to be done right now, Alexi. When we get back to Alpha we'll go back to Tawny and figure it all out. It's still…early enough. For now our place is here."

"Maybe you should tell Ellen."

"No!" She answered suddenly taking her hand away from his. Alexi could see panic in her eyes at the mere thought, "No, Alexi. Are you crazy? With what she has going on? No way. I don't even know how I'm going to tell her. I can't even begin to think about that yet."

Alexi watched her knuckles turn white as she anxiously grasped at the quilt she sat upon.

"You won't be able to hide it forever, Katya, especially from Ellen. You tell her everything. She's always there for you. It's obvious that she's suspicious of something anyway. Why go through this without her?"

"You don't understand, Alexi," She said looking back up at him with sullen eyes. She couldn't be sure how Ellen would react. She needed time. "Besides, for now I just need it to be between us. You and me. No one else needs to know just yet."

"And when your uncle and everyone else start to wonder why you're not back on the flight schedule?"

"I'll deal with that later," She said blankly.

Alexi's face grew stern. Neither of them really had time to think things through yet but Katya was being blatantly dismissive.

"Blaze and Margot. They should know."

"Soon. Not now. Just you and me now. Okay? We can handle this together. We have so far. All I need is you right now. I want to put my trust and love in just you. Alright?" She pleaded clutching at his hands again.

Her impassioned beseeching broke him as he was sure she knew it would.

"Alright...but as long as it's just the two of us you can't push me away, Yekaterina. You might think I'm being overprotective right now but don't try and stop me," He warned, "I think it's my right."

Katya smiled at his sweet concern. She knew that he was nervous and that he was consumed with worry. She hated to make him feel that way but she also found it totally endearing.

"Alexi, pushing you away is the very last thing I want to do to you right now, malysh," She said pulling him closer to her the bed. "Why do you think I wanted everyone out of here?" When he wouldn't join her she got up on her knees and put her hands to his shoulders. "C'mon, lyubov moya. Tonight you'll come in drunk on Beta brew and stumbling over yourself and you will pass right out. I feel good right now. We have the time. Let's take advantage of it," She encouraged wrapping her arms around him and pressing her body tightly to his.

"Katya, I don't know if we should," Alexi said leaning back.

"Tawny didn't say not to. She just said take it easy."

Alexi put more space between them.

"Still…"

His hesitation and the way he moved away immediately had Katya irked. Something about the look on his face told her that it wasn't about her neck or her back this time.

"So is that how it's going to be now, Alexi? You won't touch me?" She asked cocking her head to the side.

"Katya..." He started but she cut him off quickly.

"You know, I can take your worry and your hovering but not this," She said as Alexi looked at his boots and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I know it's been a shock but I didn't think you'd react this way. Is it that you're afraid to or is it that now you just don't want to?" She asked defensively.

"Of course I want to, Katya," He insisted.

"So then you're afraid," She accused, "Instead of being treated like your wife you're going to treat me like glass."

"I just want to be sure…"

"Be sure of what?" That I can take it? That you're not hurting me?"

"Yes!"

"Then listen to me when I tell you that I can and you won't!"

"I don't understand how you're not worried, Katya," He whispered as he shook his head.

"Not worried? Alexi, I'm scared to death…but not about this. It's my body. Listen to what I'm telling you. Do you really want to run to Tawny and ask permission every time you want to lay your hands on your wife?"

"I want to do what's best," He insisted hoping she'd understand his position.

"Then you should trust me."

Alexi's expression went unchanged.

"You don't...do you, Alexi?" She posed with hurt in her eyes. "You don't trust me at all"

LOCATION: INNER ORBIT; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

ALPHA TRANSPORT SHUTTLE HAWK

DESTINATION: BETA STATION

YEAR 2325

"You look happier than I've seen you since we got here," Bill said softly as he leaned closer to Laura's shuttle seat.

She felt his warm breath on her ear and she found herself leaning into it despite the two marine guards, the pilot and the electronics operator who surrounded them.

"I don't know if I could call it happy, Bill," She said resting her head on his shoulder.

"What would you call it then?"

He placed his hand on her thigh enjoying the warmth of her skin through her slacks.

They'd only had a short time to talk about her morning after she'd calmed down enough to actually get through a conversation. When Saul's message came they'd immediately started to pack for the trip. Bill had stopped asking questions for the time being. He didn't want to overwhelm her again. From what he'd gathered Laura's meeting with their daughter had gone better than expected. He knew that it hadn't gone smoothly by any means but he also knew whatever had gone on, it had done Laura a world of good. After all of the tears and the sobbing had subsided he saw the hope and the light they'd ushered in. He pretended not to notice when she packed the little trinket she'd brought home from Katya's cabin. She hadn't let go of the odd bean shaped baby since she returned and when they were about to leave he saw her slip it into her luggage as if she just couldn't part with it.

"I don't know," She shrugged. "Encouraged maybe? Relieved?"

"Those are good too but I think it's more than that. I can see it in your eyes, look is unmistakable."

His voice was just above a whisper and she could hear a new lightness to his words that hadn't been there the day before.

"What look?"

"I don't know how to explain it exactly," He started. "I've seen it before though."

"Hm?"

Bill found Laura's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. It was cold in spite of the stuffy shuttle cabin. With her head still resting on his shoulder he spoke softly, ignoring their company.

"After Carolanne had Lee they took him off to the nursery so she could get some rest," He paused and swallowed back the ancient emotion he still felt over the birth of his first child. "She was exhausted and I sat with her waiting for her to fall to sleep. She was a little dazed. She just kept staring off into nothing with this new sparkle in her eyes and I could just see that all she was thinking about was the next time she would see him."

Laura felt herself blush at his comparison. She knew Bill was just trying to be sweet but his words actually stung. They reminded her of everything she'd missed and what she would never get back. He'd gotten to spend that time with his wife and be there when his children were born. Laura didn't know what it was to feel that way; at least she didn't think she did.

"I had her twenty-two years ago, Bill," She whispered. "And I wasn't even around to know it."

Bill leaned down to brush his lips against her temple.

"Call it a delayed reaction."

When he felt her body tremble a bit he pulled her close and for a moment the rest of the world was lost to them. Bill knew whatever new happiness had come to Laura there was a new hurt that had come along with it. While his heart ached for her the mix of joy and pain felt somehow fitting. Though it was years past and dimensions away from the conventional experience he knew that he was witnessing something precious. He was getting to watch Laura become a mother.

"Sir? Ma'am?" The ECO's voice interrupted. "You two should buckle up. We'll be approaching Beta shortly."

Bill was right about one thing, Laura thought as she straightened her posture; even with everything that was going on with the trip and the download, all that she'd been able to think about since the moment she left Katya's cabin was the next time she would see her daughter.

LOCATION: BETA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY VISITOR'S QUARTERS; ASSIGNMENT PETROV/ISAKOFF

YEAR: 2315

Katya knew that she should find Ellen like she'd promised. Their meeting time had come and passed. She'd driven Alexi to storm out of the room after their fight and she'd been lying on the bed for over an hour hoping that sleep would come but it never did. She wanted to work on her composure before she faced Ellen again. The woman could always see right through her and Katya couldn't let that happen yet. It was for the good of them both. She stayed in bed letting the clock run out. She would just tell Ellen she overslept. Soon they would all be at dinner and everyone would be sucking up their respective issues and putting on a show. They would be distracted. She figured if she could just stay off of the radar until then she'd be better off but a forceful knock at the hatch snuffed any hopes of that plan.

Gingerly she leaned up on the bed. It had become a habit to avoid the recent bouts of vertigo that plagued her since the accident. With a deep breath she got up and headed for the door. The banging repeated before she had time to open it and the drumming sound reverberated off of her nerves as she yanked it open.

"Margot, what the hell?" She scowled when she found the specialist standing flustered in the hatchway.

"Uh, Kat, your parents are here," Margot informed her with her hands on her hips.

Katya stepped forward and looked down the hall toward Saul and Ellen's nearby room.

"And?" She asked losing her patience.

"No, you space-case," Margot squinted. "Not the Tighs! Roslin and Adama!"

"What?!"

"Do you really want me to repeat it or was that more of an expression of surprise?" Margot asked earnestly.

"Shut up, Margot. Where's my uncle?"

"He was with them when I saw them checking into the visitor's unit a few minutes ago. Blaze messaged me and said that they were the passengers the Colonel took him to greet on deck. I was on my way here to tell you when I saw them for myself. I didn't stick around to ask questions I just came to find you. There's no way my mom knows. Heads would be rolling. Four of them on one station? That's never happened before! What the hell are they doing here!?"

"Fuck if I know," Katya snapped stepping through the hatch into the hallway and letting the door close behind her.

"I saw Ellen go into her room just a second ago," Margot added. "I figured I'd grab you before I go and ask her myself."

Katya shook her head. Ellen knew. She had to and there was no way she'd gotten them off of Alpha Station without letting Le Blanc know too.

She had to find out what the hell was going on. So much for lying low.

"No, Margot I'm going on my own. Find your mom. I'd bet you my last credit she knows. I bet they all did. They just didn't bother to tell us. Whatever happened to strict system policy?"

"Damn it. You're right."

"Go, Margot," Katya said as she walked backwards towards the Tigh's temporary quarters. "I'll see you at dinner."

"Au revoir, Katya!" Margot called after as she rushed in the opposite direction down the hallway," Bonne chance!"

At the Tigh's hatch Katya chose to employ the same obnoxious berating on the door as her friend just had on hers. She knew how awful it was but it had done the trick at getting her on her feet quickly. When she went to do it again she had to stop her fist as Ellen abruptly opened the hatch to let her in.

"Nice of you to show up," Ellen greeted sharply.

"What the hell are they doing here?!"

Ellen rolled her eyes and turned away from the door with an air of disinterest. Katya followed letting the hatch slam behind her.

"Hello?" She called again when Ellen didn't answer.

They paused in front of a chest of drawers.

"I'm assuming you're referring to Laura and Bill," Ellen said picking up her jewelry from the dresser top.

She avoided looking at Katya, casually glancing in the mirror above the bureau as she put her earrings on.

"Blaze and Margot both saw them. Why are they here? How are they here!?" Katya shouted.

"Katya, I don't have time for you to make this a thing right now," Ellen said dismissively.

After several messages she'd given up waiting on her daughter. The fact that Katya had only shown up now that she knew about her birth parents presence on station just added to Ellen's irritation with the girl.

"A thing?" Katya grimaced.

Ellen let out a huff and turned from her reflection.

"With Kaplan's backing Uncle Saul and I convinced the committee and the Security Administration to allow Bill and Laura to attend the download. They wanted to be here for Karl and Sharon to help them through the process. The end," Ellen stated in an mockingly succinct manner.

"And just when was I going to be informed about this?"

Ellen shot Katya an icy glare.

"I would have told you before but you missed our little meeting."

"This is totally and completely against procedure!" Katya shouted ignoring the accusation. "There are now four of them on this station! Four! Four out of six! How the hell is that okay? Why would you allow something so dangerous? And to have put them on a flight right now, with what's been going on? If there was an attack they could have been killed! Shot right out of the damn air!"

"We had their shuttle escorted by three heavy raiders, Katya. We took every precaution!" Ellen shouted back as she busily milled around the cabin doing her best to seem as occupied as possible.

Katya stayed on her tail the entire time.

"I don't get it. How did the committee let you do this? How did Doctor Le Blanc ever agree to such a thing?"

Ellen looked down at her cuff as if she were reading something immensely more important but the screen only blinked the time, date and cabin temperature back at her.

"I told them that until Roslin and Adama joined us on Beta I wouldn't do a thing with the Agathon bodies," Ellen admitted looking up to face her.

Katya's mouth dropped open.

"So now you're lording your power over these people? Over my people? Aunt Ellen that's so unfair," The look on Katya's face was near disgusted. "I've defended you and Uncle Saul for years whenever anyone ever suggested such a thing. To see it for myself…"

"Oh, Katya, don't you dare make this out to be something that it isn't! You know I've never done anything but help these people. If I've ever had to force them into making the right decisions with a heavy hand it was with their own best interests in mind! Don't give me that load of bull!"

"Ellen, this doesn't seem like it has jack shit to do with the best interests of the people. It sounds like it has everything to do with satisfying Uncle Saul's friend's random whim! They wanted to come and so they just get to!?"

Ellen's temper raged at the implication. She took a few slow steps closing in the space between them until Katya had no choice but to meet her azure to cobalt.

"You listen to me. I didn't spend yet another endless lifetime waiting around just to ruin things for this civilization at zero hour. You know that! You've been around for twenty-two frakking years, baby girl. I've watched these people rise and fall a thousand times over just to make sure this time they don't crumble for good. You out of all people should understand that Saul and I wouldn't just put that at risk for nothing. I'm sorry if you feel like I've overstepped but this is the way it is. I tried to tell you, Katya. If you weren't so godsdamn busy avoiding me you'd know it!"

Her seething words hit Katya right where she'd intended and suddenly the girl was less eager with her returned agressions.

Ellen stepped back with a sigh and a shake of her head. She raised her fist to eye level and opened it inches from Katya's face.

Biting her lip Katya reached for the shiny puddle of silver and stone revealed within her palm.

Ellen coolly turned brushing her hair away from her nape.

"I am not avoiding you," Katya said feebly as she clasped the chain around her neck.

Even as the words left her lips she cursed herself for how blatantly false they sounded.

Ellen laughed bitterly before facing her again.

"Kit,do you remember what I told you when you were ten and you tried to get away with breaking one of the image screens in the cabin?" She asked smiling like it was just as fond of a memory as any other. "You're the shittiest liar I've ever met, sweetie," She finished with a faux saccharine tone.

"How the hell did this turn into being about me?!" Katya shouted frustratingly dropping her hands to her sides.

"Because it is about you, Katya!" Ellen shouted in return.

Katya's palms went to her forehead as if the words physically hurt her head but Ellen only became louder.

"Because besides making sure that this mess of a society makes it back down to the surface of frakking Earth, you're all I care about! You and Saul; that's it! You're my life! I know when you're keeping things from me. I know when you're upset and you're trying to hide it and I sure as hell know when you're blowing one thing out of proportion just to take the attention off of something else!"

Katya steeled herself against the accusation.

"I think you're overestimating me, Aunt Ellen but thanks for believing that I actually ever think that far ahead about anything," She deflected with acerbic smirk.

"I know you, kit. I know you better than you know yourself. Even if you don't see that's what you're doing I know it. Now, you don't have to tell me what the frak is going on with you right this second. You're an adult and I promised you that I'd start trying to respect that. Whatever it is, save it. I'll wait but you're going to stop questioning my godsdamn actions when it comes to frakking safety procedures like you suddenly give a shit about the rules."

Ellen had meant to shut Katya up and she had but she could still see the gears turning behind the young woman's eyes. She'd hit the nail on the head and Kat had nothing to say about it. They could match each other tantrum for tantrum but it was rare that one got the upper hand over the other.

"And I'll tell you what else you're going to do," Ellen said taking rare advantage of the situation, "Before we all sit down to dinner together; and yes, Bill and Laura will be at dinner, you're going to tell me what went on this morning," She promptly demanded.

Katya barely had time to process Ellen's words before she was scrambling for a way to get out of telling her about Laura. She tried her best at a confused expression but Ellen had no patience for it.

"Gods you really are a bad liar, Katya. I feel like I've taught you nothing. Kill the bad acting and spill it. What happened with Laura?"

Katya rubbed at her forehead and sighed.

"How'd you know about that?"

"Uncle Saul," Ellen answered omitting the rest.

Katya just assumed that Bill must have informed her uncle. News traveled fast between the two couples who seemed to gossip an awful lot for technically each being over 200,000 years old. She knew that she wasn't going to be able to keep Laura's visit from Ellen but she thought she might be able to put it off until after the weekend on Beta.

"I was going to tell you. There's been too many people around."

Ellen frowned.

"You could have come to me when I asked. Why did you stand me up?"

This time Katya could hear the hurt in Ellen's voice rather than the anger.

"I was tired. You told me to rest. I did," Katya lied.

She hadn't been able to rest at all. She'd lost the battle against Alexi's newfound prudence soon after everyone had gone. Completely frustrated and more than a little offended she threw him out of the room with a few bitter words. He'd reluctantly left not wanting to upset her any further. She'd tried to relax after that but it was no use. She was infuriated by her husband's sudden resistance and the reason for it was the rushing undercurrent making everything so much more poignant. On top of that the conversation she'd had with Laura was constantly running on repeat in her head. She just didn't want to face Ellen. She didn't know what would be worse; having to tell her the truth about Laura or lying to her about everything else.

"So tell me now," Ellen prompted. "What happened?"

She crossed her arms expectantly and then with a second thought forced them back at her sides. She was having trouble coming off as interested and concerned rather than accusatory. She'd told Katya to give Laura a chance but she knew part of her would still feel the sting when it happened. If she was going to get Katya to open up about Laura she had to convince her that she wasn't jealous or angry.

Katya looked down before she spoke. She wanted to talk to Ellen but she was afraid she'd see more hurt in her eyes. No matter how much Ellen encouraged her to interact with her birth mother Katya would always feel like she had a reason to feel guilty. Nothing special had really gone on with Laura. There was nothing for Ellen to feel bad about; nothing specific, nothing big. She just had to tell her what happened without letting her know how strangely satisfying it was to look into her mother's eyes. She had to tell Ellen the facts without adding on how strongly she'd felt the urge to reach out and embrace the other woman even with all of the anger and resentment still between them, if only to know for a moment what it would feel like to be in her mother's arms. Ellen didn't have to know how much the morning had truly meant to her.

"I really don't even know what happened. She showed up at my cabin out of nowhere saying she wanted to apologize. You told me not to turn her away so I let her in."

"And did she?"

"Did she what?"

"Apologize."

"Yes. For what she said about you mostly."

"And then what?"

"And then I told her what I thought of her opinion of you. I stopped short of telling her where she could stick it, though," Katya said with an impish grin.

"That's my girl," Ellen winked, finally giving her a smile. She'd told her to give Laura a chance. She'd never asked her not to stick up for her family, "What else?"

"Nothing. She tried to make small talk. It was weird. I kind of went off on her… just for a second. I couldn't help it. It was so bizarre to actually be speaking to her on my own."

Bizarre it was, but the word failed to capture how truly strange it had really been. Everything had hit her after it was all over and what had felt like an endless and awkward interaction at the time now seemed like a blur.

"Are you glad that she came?" Ellen asked licking at her lips.

She just wanted to know. She could take the hurt if it had done some good for Katya.

"It was nothing like talking to you," Katya shrugged. "I can say anything I want to you and it's so easy. It always has been."

Katya could still remember her first night with the Tighs. She'd met them only once before; mere days after her father's death. She'd been staying on Delta with Dr. Le Blanc and Margot when Saul demanded custody of her. When Michelle broke the news that she would be moving in with the Cylon couple Katya held her tears back. Though she was intrigued to have met two people who'd actually known her real family they were still strangers to her. The morning they came to pick her up she'd felt like crying again. She was leaving Margot and a new home meant that her father was truly gone for good. Still she did her best to hold it all in. On the shuttle ride back to Alpha Ellen let Katya sit on her lap. She told her that it was alright to be nervous and that she was nervous too. It was the first time Katya felt the feminine comfort of someone who wasn't a paid nanny or one of her father's staff. It was genuine and it felt good. It was as if she'd suddenly found something she'd never known she'd been missing.

As the shuttle cruised through the system Saul told Katya his very first story about the day he'd met Bill. By the end of the ride Katya hadn't felt much like crying anymore. She'd held Ellen's hand all the way to their new newly assigned cabin and she'd stuck to her like glue the entire evening. At one point when Katya looked entirely glum during their first meal together Ellen had glanced at her with a strange grin that seemed to hold a promise of something she didn't quite understand. When the woman reached her arm back behind her husband's head and snapped the elastic of his eye patch Katya found herself holding back laughter instead of tears for the first time since the lab massacre.

"It's okay to laugh, sweetie," Ellen had assured the little girl. "Even though that wasn't very nice of me to do to Uncle Saul," She told her as she looked over at the disgruntled man with a wink and a nod of apology. "That's just kind of the way we Tighs do things. If it's funny we laugh. If we're mad we yell and if we're sad…we cry. And that's okay. Got it?"

"With Laura I think I spent more time trying to choose my words than actually saying them," Katya shrugged.

"You didn't answer me, kit. Are you glad that she came?" Ellen asked expectantly.

Katya didn't want to answer but she owed her at least the truths she could give her.

"I think so."

Ellen swallowed hard and nodded.

"That's okay," She insisted. Her words were firm but her bottom lip betrayed her with a slight quiver. "I know that maybe it doesn't feel like it is…and I probably don't look like I'm okay with it right now…I see it on your face…but I am. I'm glad you did what you did today, baby. You don't have to lie about talking to her. It'll just make it worse for me…for you too. Got it?"

Katya nodded.

Ellen didn't want to hear anymore about it for now. The concern on the girl's face was all she needed to pacify her insecurities for the time being. She had other things she had to focus on at the moment.

She cleared her throat and smiled.

"Go freshen up, baby. There's a cocktail hour before dinner. It starts in twenty minutes. Don't give your uncle any grief when you get down there. What's done is done. Best behavior."

"Yes, Ma'am," Katya answered turning quickly to leave but she stopped herself before she got to the door.

She doubled back toward Ellen and gave her a quick peck on the cheek. It was her poor attempt at an apology and an even worse attempt at a thank you but it was something. When she turned to leave again Ellen grabbed her wrist and she looked back at her in surprise.

"When you're ready to tell me what else is up, I'm ready to listen."

Katya only nodded curtly and left.

LOCATION: BETA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR C

MILITARY STATION EXCHANGE UNIT

FORMAL DINING HALL

YEAR: 2315

The air smelled different on Beta Station and Laura sort of liked it. It was the same ultra-filtered re-circulated air that filled Alpha but it was missing the staleness. There was a fresh hint to it, a faint scent of vegetation and every once in awhile when the temperature control kicked on there would be a wisp of something floral or sweet. She remembered coming aboard the station for the first time. She was still in a daze, not yet back among the living for a full week but she could remember Lt. Bishop proudly playing tour guide around his home station. The smell, he'd said, was due to the station's massive hydroponic agriculture operation. Beta was where the system grew its food. The last time Laura had been there, confused and angry, she'd thought that it smelled like old moss, like dank puddle water but this time it smelled almost terrestrial, almost like spring and Laura gladly inhaled it deep into her lungs. It was helping her to relax along with the cocktail she held in her hand as she waited for Bill to rejoin her side.

The room was peppered with people who were obviously enthralled by their unexpected presence. There were a dozen sideways glances, a couple of blatant stares and lots of whispering. Few came up to actually introduce themselves. Tonight their security escort was three guards deep and Laura was sure that it was an intimidating deterrent. She didn't know if she was grateful for it or not. There was something else in the room among the hushed gossip and not so subtle looks. Hanging like an overripe fruit in the leafy green station air was a feeling of expectancy. Laura knew the feeling too well. She was no stranger to dozens of eyes looking toward her for answers, for solutions and for hope but this time she had no idea where to start.

"You look very nice tonight, Laura," Saul said startling her from behind.

The room was hardly quiet but without much interaction she had become lost in her thoughts.

"Did I scare you?" He asked raising his brow.

"No. No, I guess I was just…I wasn't paying attention and thank you. I have to admit it's been sort of nice waking up to a brand new wardrobe after living the last few years of my life dressed in the same four outfits," She mused looking down at the simple black cocktail dress she'd found among her clothes.

"Well my girls are to thank for that," Saul nodded. "When Ellen told Katya how we all left the Colonies without much more than the shirts on our backs it sort of stuck in her head. Even held up here in Orbit she grew up used to merchandise printers so it was a crazy concept for her. She wanted to make sure that you and Bill had everything you could possibly need. I think she went a little overboard," He chuckled.

Laura was touched by the little insight. It wasn't just the books that Katya had left them. She'd actually tried to make them a home.

"I'm sorry I got Bill tied up in a conversation with Commander Patel," Saul continued. "Didn't mean to leave you here on your own. That man can talk your frakking ear off. We're on his station so I didn't want to be rude and pull Bill away. If he doesn't let him go in a few minutes I'll send Ellen over to grab him. She doesn't give a frak," He winked.

"She seems to be enjoying herself," Laura observed as she watched the blonde smiling and socializing with a group of men and women a few yards across the room.

Ellen looked at ease and particularly pretty in a jeweltone green dress that seemed to echo the verdant Beta air.

"She's better this time since you and Bill were a success but she's still nervous as hell. She just won't let them see it. She knows how to work a room, that's for sure. We've had to maintain a certain air of confidence around these people over the years. When we're right we're heaven sent guardians. When we falter we're over-developed robots dictating their future," Saul said sipping his drink.

"I still can't wrap my mind around how long you've been here," Laura said shaking her head.

The colonel shrugged.

"The boxing helped for the most part but when we jumped into Orbit, well, that's when all the real work started. It's hard to believe we've only lived on Alpha for fifteen years. Feels like longer but then again I think I've lost all sense of time. They've been good years though, for Ellen and me, in spite of everything."

Laura nodded. She knew he meant to say that it was because they had Katya with them. They seemed like such a strange little family but there didn't seem to be any wanting for love. She glanced at the woman in green again and wondered how she could possibly be as jealous as Bill claimed. Ellen had seen every loose tooth and every inch grown for the past fifteen years. She'd gotten every bedtime hug and kissed away every tear for most of Katya's life and no one could ever take that time away from her. Ellen had experienced so much of what Laura never knew she wanted. She would spend the rest of her days just trying to imagine what it would have been like to raise her own daughter. She was the one with the right to be envious, not Ellen Tigh.

"So, Laura," Saul said nudging at her arm with his elbow, "Are you going to tell me how this morning went or are you going to leave me hanging like our stubborn little hellion did?"

Laura looked at him with a small smile.

"Where is she anyway? I thought you said all four of the kids would be here. So far I've only seen that Margot girl," She said looking over to where the young officer stood with another woman who she recognized as the doctor from Alpha's lab.

The specialist had come over to welcome Bill and Laura when they'd first arrived to the dining room. She was very polite but short with her words. Before Margot turned to leave Laura saw Ellen pull at her elbow to whisper something into her ear. She couldn't make it all out but she could hear part of it was an order to keep her mother away from Bill. Though Laura felt bad for Margot and the obvious burden that was put on her she was grateful for Ellen's foresight. After learning how big of a part Le Blanc had been in the children's creation Bill and Laura both knew that one day they'd confront the doctor over what she'd done but tonight wasn't the night.

"Katya and the boys should be here soon," Saul said as he looked around the room. "They better be anyway," He grumbled. "I should warn you, Laura. They all had some words about you and Bill showing up here on Beta but it was only out of concern for your safety. Two to a station; it's been drilled into them since they were born. Our little break in procedure just ruffled their feathers a bit," Saul explained

"They're angry that we came," Laura said worriedly rethinking Margot's tempered greeting.

The last thing she wanted was to take another step backward with Katya.

"They're anxious over your well being," Saul corrected. "You have to remember that three of them lost men they loved when they died trying to protect your bodies," He reminded. "And Margot grew up constantly afraid that her mother was next. They've all taken on the weight your safety; especially Katya. She was right there when her father lost his own life protecting yours. If I were to let anything happen to you now…well," He cleared his throat. "Well, I won't," He said confidently. "Should I take the fact that you're willing to be in the same room with her again as a sign that her claws didn't come out during your meeting?" He asked redirecting the conversation.

Laura's faint smile returned.

"Oh they were out. It's just that this time I stuck around long enough for her to put them away and I got to see a little bit of that part of her that you were talking about."

As much as Laura had wanted to share her excitement with Bill when she returned to their cabin she was also afraid to. Everything that had gone on with Katya was so new and so tentative. They'd both earned every word they'd spoken to each other like they were laying heavy bricks by hand. It all seemed far too fragile to build hope upon. To add Bill's hope onto the shaky foundation made Laura even more anxious that it all could crumble but she just couldn't help herself. She'd eventually told him everything that had gone on good and bad. She blamed her eagerness all on that one smile Katya had given her as she took apart the nesting dolls. The first smile she'd gotten from her daughter, the first honest glimmer of happiness she'd ever been able to elicit from her child had triggered something within her she couldn't begin to explain. Ever since Bill's mention of a so called delayed reaction she'd been wondering if it was the same feeling that mothers got the first time they saw their infants grin up at them. She wondered how such a tiny expression could fill her heart with so much joy that it actually hurt. She realized that to lay her hopes on a smile was foolish but the way that one look had made her feel, she knew that even if her hopes were crushed under the weight of circumstance it would have been worth it just to have seen it that one time.

"That's good to hear," Saul said clinking his glass against hers in celebration.

"I wouldn't have done it without your encouragement, Saul," She said before taking a drink

"So are you glad you took me up on my little deal? It wound up being a decent bargain. You managed to make it out of Katya's without a scratch and you got to come to Beta just like you wanted."

"Yes, Saul. I am glad."

"And I'm glad to know how sincere your apology was," Katya's voice piped in from behind them.

They both turned to find her standing in full uniform with a look in her eyes somewhere between hurt and anger.

"Captain," Saul started but Katya ignored her uncle to address Laura.

"Did you really sit through all of my bull shit this morning just to come here?" Katya asked crinkling her nose.

"Katya, no. That's not what happened at all," Laura said shaking her head.

"So you didn't make a deal with my uncle to come see me and earn a little field trip off station?"

Laura took a breath in but she couldn't smell the green crispness in the air anymore.

"Well…yes but…"

"Damn, you're good! I mean I know you used to be a politician but that was a lot of crap to go through just to get your way. And you called Ellen manipulative," Katya cynically laughed.

Laura's stomach dropped at Katya's contemptuous grin. It was so far away from the sweet curve of her lips that she'd seen only hours before.

"What's going on here?" Bill asked as he stepped up to the scene but his inquest went unanswered.

"Katya, stop it, and keep your frakking voice down," Saul warned looking around at the room full of people, "You don't know what you're talking about."

"Yes, Sir," Katya nodded to her uncle with an acid smirk. "I'll just go stand over there and kick myself for believing this woman might have actually wanted to talk to me today."

"Katya, will you please just let me explain? Laura pleaded. "It isn't how it sounds."

How could she have let this happen again?

"It sounds like I should feel like an idiot," Katya said pausing to press her lips together, "And I definitely do. You two enjoy your time on Beta Station," She said to the pair.

Ignoring her uncle completely, Katya turned and walked off.

"I'm sorry, Laura," Saul started. "She has a bad habit of sneaking up like that. Light on her feet, ya know? I should have been watching my mouth."

"Will someone please tell me what the frak just happened?" Bill repeated.

With Blazer at his side Alexi met Katya halfway through her rush across the room. Her eyes were already filled to the brim and her ears and cheeks were pink with anger and embarrassment.

"What's wrong, Cap?" Blazer asked reaching for her.

Blaze held her close as Alexi's eyes darted anxiously over her body.

"Vsyo v poryadke? Ty ne bole'esh?"

"Yes, Alexi, I'm sick. I'm sick and tired of this never ending shit," She snapped, turning out of her friend's embrace.

"Katya, Ti zhe znAesh, tak i dolzhno bit`. Whatever it is just let it go for now, please?" Alexi asked reaching out for her but she pushed his hand away.

"You know, Lex I'm just a little sick and tired of you too right now," She bit as she flicked away the tears that fell from her lashes before they had a chance to travel very far. "I need to step out for a sec. Save me a seat, Blaze," She said trudging passed both men.

As Alexi went to go after her Blaze caught his arm.

"Leave her, man. You know you'll just upset her more. She'll be back," He assured his friend. "C'mon. I need a drink before we sit and so do you."

On their way to the bar Ellen swooped in to stop them in their tracks. She'd seen the minor scuffle and was already annoyed. It was exactly what she wanted to avoid this weekend.

"What's going on?" She asked worriedly, "Where the hell is she going?"

"We don't know Ma'am," Blaze answered. "I think she just needs some space."

"Why? What's wrong? We're just about to sit down dammit."

Alexi stood unresponsive but Ellen could see anger brewing inside him.

Blazer shrugged at her and shook his head before he answered.

"The Cap just seemed upset after talking with the Colonel and your guests," He added with a hint of spite.

Ellen dismissed his words and qucikly headed to where her husband stood with Bill and Laura.

"What the hell happened now?" She asked in a harsh hushed tone as she approached them.

"I frakked up," Saul said taking a swig of his drink.

Laura's cheeks looked flushed and her eyes were wet and red.

"Godsdamn it, Saul," Ellen said balling her hand into a fist by her side. "Why tonight?"

"Katya's just got the wrong idea about something," Bill muttered shaking his head.

When Saul explained what Katya had overheard Bill felt is patients starting to crackle. He couldn't stand to know how happy Laura had seemed all day only to have it ruined this way.

"Sau,l go bring her back in here," Ellen demanded. "And if you can't calm her down just send her back to her cabin. I can't deal with her tonight," She said nearly pushing her husband toward the exit.

"No," Bill intervened stopping Saul with a hand to his chest before he could take two steps on his own. "I'll go."

"You?" Laura asked, "Why, Bill? Look it's my mess. It's not you she's angry at. It's me."

"You? Again?" Ellen said rolling her eyes. There was no helping this woman. "I thought it was Saul. Gods, Laura."

"I don't think she's very happy with either of us right now," Saul clarified.

"That girl has too much anger for her own damn good," Bill said through his teeth. "I'm going."

"Fine have at her, Old Man," Saul relented. No matter how bad he felt he and Ellen just had too much going on at the moment to go pacify Katya themselves. As long as the girl had four parents now they might as well work together, "Tail him," The Colonel said holding up one finger to instruct a single marine to follow Bill.

Out in the hall Katya stood hunched over a water fountain with her palms pressed against its cold chrome frame. She was out of breath from trying to suppress her tears. As her blood rushed angrily through her veins it made the deep ache in her breasts throb in a painful reminder. She had to calm down. She took a sip of water and then some deep breaths as she ran her hand over the thick fabric of her tunic. She needed to compose herself and get back in there. She was supposed to be supporting Blaze, supporting Ellen and instead she was a mess yet again. She was so tired of what she'd let the last few weeks turn her into. She used to be so good at controlling her emotions. Now she was a constant wreck and she just couldn't stand herself anymore. Soon she'd have to be stronger than she'd ever been before and she couldn't fathom how she was going to manage. Anger was familiar, sadness had always been at her side but disappointment had been waiting for her a long time and it had years and years to gain the force with which she felt it now.

"Katya!"

She heard her name rumble through the hallway like the thunder before a rocket launch and there was no mistaking who'd called for her. She looked up from the fountain to see Bill walking toward her with determination tailed by one of his guards.

Katya weighed her options knowing that she'd have to walk past him to get back into the dining room anyway. With her will weakened she leaned against the wall of the hallway and crossed her arms as she watched him stomp the rest of the way toward her.

"Katya, I want to talk to you," He growled as he closed in.

She blinked at him a few times doing her best to display an utter disinterest.

"I'm going back inside. I have a dinner to get to."

"You and I will just have to make it to dessert," He seethed.

She could see his lower jaw shift in anger but she was hardly fazed at the intensity of his glare.

"I don't have to stay here and listen to a damn thing you have to say," She casually informed him.

"Stay or go, Captain. Just know that I'm going to follow you until you finally frakking hear me. I'll haunt you like a bad dream until I say everything that I need to say to you, so what do you think of that?"

She arched a brow and gave him a cocky smirk.

"You're already in my bad dreams," She told him finding a dark humor in the truth of her reply.

"Then listen to me now or get ready for a waking nightmare," He said with a grave promise. "You're choice."

She took another breath and let it out with a sigh. If she was going to force herself to move passed this she needed to get it all over with as soon as she could.

"Fine. Speak."

"First get rid of this monkey on my back," He demanded thumbing over at the marine standing close by.

She looked at the guard; one of Alexi's over muscled friends. The marine worriedly shook his head behind the Admiral's back obviously more concerned for her safety than that of his angry assignment.

"I'm sorry I can't do that without getting the corporal into trouble," She said coolly, still propped against the chilled wall.

"Then open this door," Bill demanded, motioning to the hatchway beside her.

Katya looked toward the door and rolled her eyes.

"I don't live here. I don't serve here. This isn't my station. I don't have access to every fucking door in Orbit."

Bill looked deeply into Katya's eyes making sure that he had her focus before suddenly grabbing her cuffed wrist and forcefully slamming it against the hatch panel. It made a loud bang that sent a powerful vibration down her arm and through her chest. The panel clicked and lit up in Beta's signature orange hue granting access but Bill didn't move. He held Katya's wrist tightly to it with his eyes steadily locked on hers and his jaw clenched tight. Something in him darkened when he hardly saw a hint of shock in her expression.

The anxious marine stepped forward with one hand on his sidearm and his eyes wide with concern.

"Sir, you need to get your hands off the Captain," The guard instructed forcefully but Katya could hear the conflict in his voice.

The poor guy didn't know what to do. He'd been assigned to protect the most important man alive and now he had his hand at his hip ready to pull a weapon on him.

"Stand down," Katya told him but he hesitated to do so when Bill still wouldn't let go of her arm.

She turned her head to the amber lit panel on the doorway that she apparently had clearance to. Looking back at her birth father she noticed that his face had gone from a burning rage to cold rocky stone in a matter of seconds.

"Looks like we're going in, Corporal," Katya said to the marine without losing eye contact with Bill.

"Captain, should I call for assistance?" The guard asked.

He was unsure if he should really let Katya behind a closed door with an obviously enraged man who had just smashed her hand against a metal door. She didn't seem afraid but the he knew that Alexi would pound him into a paste if he let something happen to his wife.

Katya smiled pertly and tilted her head at the Admiral as if to ask if he was content with his show of force. He frowned and with a grunt he finally let her wrist drop. He forced a puff of air through his nostrils at the smug look on her face and recessed a few steps to make sure that the guard knew that he was backing off.

"Just stay outside the hatch," Katya instructed the marine.

She turned slowly leaning her weight against the door. When the hatch clicked open she held it out for Bill.

"After you," She gestured as he entered.

She winked at the guard hopeful that her playfulness would put him at ease.

Once inside Katya hit the lights to reveal a sparsely furnished office space. A look around showed no hint of recent use. Figuring that it was as good a space as any to either listen to a lecture or get roughed up some more she sat on the top of the desk. She faced Bill and waited expectantly for him to speak. He looked at her grimly for a few silent moments before she shrugged at him with anticipation.

"Just so you know, Admiral, you're coming up with the excuse as to why my wrist is bruised," Katya said matter-of-factly. "Frankly I don't have the energy left today to lie to Ellen or my husband and believe me, they will both be asking."

In reality Katya wasn't all that hurt. The blow had made a bigger sound than anything else and she had a feeling Bill had knowingly taken most of the impact on his own knuckles. It amused her to know that it was more likely he who would need to make up an excuse of his own for Laura.

"I'm sorry I did that," He said looking down at his shoes.

Katya let out a soft laugh.

"No you're not," She said as she made a little performance of rotating her scuffled wrist. "You got me in here. So what is it that you want from me?"

Bill scowled at her overly nonchalant show and heat started to return to his face.

"Katya, is it the trouble you enjoy or the all the frakking attention?" He shot.

She shrugged looking even more amused.

"It's hard to say, Sir. One usually comes with the other."

Bill hardened at her snark and took a few short paces toward where she sat on top of the desk. For a moment Katya thought he might put his hands on her again. She wasn't afraid of him by any means. She knew that he'd never really hurt her but his move outside the door had put her on her toes. He closed in on the space between them and leaned over to glare straight into her eyes again.

"Do you know what I think?" He asked, his question dripping in rhetoric. "I think you like to cause trouble and put on a godsdamn show when you want to avoid any real interaction. Anything with frakking substance, anything too hard, anything that might frakking mean something. I think you like to shout and yell and blow smoke in people's eyes so they get distracted, so they don't see what's under it all; one frakking scared little girl," He said with a snarl.

Katya bit her lip.

"Thanks for that analysis, Admiral. I thought you were trained as a fighter pilot not a fucking shrink," She answered still inches from him.

Bill let out a satirical chuckle right in her face.

"Thanks for proving my point so keenly, Captain," He said taking a few steps back.

His laugh plucked at Katya's nerves and she wasn't interested in feigning an air of apathetic amusement anymore. She leaned off of the desk's top and took a step forward voiding whatever space he had just made between them.

"You want some truth, Admiral?" She started narrowing her eyes. "Some honesty? Do you want to hear what's real? I've faced things in my life that I should have never had to. I've watched people I loved die just like you have and I've never run and hid from any of it. In fact, I put myself on the frontlines just to face it all head on. You don't know what my life has been like. You don't know me at all. So you can take your little theory about my avoidance issues and stick it right up your ancient ass," She hissed but Bill didn't miss a beat.

"Fighting the enemy out of revenge isn't the same as addressing your godsdamn problems, Katya," He returned.

She crossed her arms in front of her chest and took another breath reminding herself not to get too worked up.

"You know what, Sir? Up until the other day you two were the biggest problems I had but I have more important things to worry about now. You'll excuse me if I've lost interest in addressing either one of you."

"Whatever else you've got going on, Katya, we aren't going away."

"Then please just tell me what in the hell I have to do to get you to leave me alone!"

Bill shook his head.

"It's too late for that, Katya. Once I found out who you were that went out the damn door! There isn't anything besides grim death that could get me to stop bothering with you now. If you had children of your own you'd understand why!"

Katya's eyes watered and for a moment she couldn't find her voice.

"What the hell do you want from me?"

"I want you to quit finding reasons to push us away!"

"Why? So I can be made a fool of again?! I tried to talk to Laura this morning. Do you think it was fucking easy for me to face her!? I let her into my home, I listened to her bogus apology, I even accepted it like an idiot. I sat there thinking that she was listening to everything I said because she wanted to be there. Now I find out that she was just doing it as part of some stupid arrangement with Uncle Saul to get over here? Screw that!"

"So frakking what!? What the hell does that matter, Katya? Saul was trying to help! He wanted to do what was best for both you and Laura so he convinced her to go see you. He used the trip here as a little bit of incentive. He gave her an excuse to go for it, the push she needed. He wouldn't have had to do that if you hadn't scared her off! You made her so afraid to face you that she was willing to live her life in misery as long as she could give you what you wanted! You're full of shit, kid," Bill accused with an angry finger in her face. "You don't really believe that this trip was the only reason Laura came to you this morning. Did you look at her? Did you see the frakking pain in her eyes? Did you see the sadness in her face while she sat there? Did it look fake to you? Did it look like she was putting on a godsdamn show? Did it frakking feel like it? Or did it feel honest and raw and real? Was it too real? Did it hurt like hell? Is that why you just jumped at the first excuse you found to make it into something cheap and false? Couldn't deal with it after all, Koshka?"

"You think I want it to be that way? You think I like knowing that Saul and Ellen feel like they have to barter safety procedures for my happiness? You think I want to feel like my own mother could care less about me!?" She asked gaining a wild anger in her eyes.

Bill shook his head.

"I think that it's a damn shame how afraid you two really are of each other. That's what I think."

"Afraid."

"Yes, afraid!" Bill repeated. "You think that I don't know you, Katya and for the most part you're right but it isn't hard to see that much! You think that no one understands your plight? Maybe that's true. It's been yours to live but some things are just too obvious. I get it, Katya. I get a lot more than you think," He said raising his chin. "How's this? You want so badly to look at Laura and see your mother but you just can't. You see the body that you were forced in and out of and the woman it belongs to and now you can't understand how it doesn't just disgust her to even look at you. You're afraid that she'll only ever see you as an abhorrence, as a violation, so you just keep piling on the reasons for her to see you that way. You want her to have a dozen reasons that she can't stand you because you'd rather be hated for being rude and hurtful to her than to be hated because you're life started with her rape."

Before the last sneering words left Bill's lips he finally saw the look of shock on her face that had been missing as he held her wrist to the door.

His accusation sliced through the air and right into Katya's chest. Her stomach rolled as if she were going to be sick and for a fraction of a moment she felt true hatred for the man in front of her, for the words he'd spoken and for the certainty with which he used them. She had the feeling of being blinded by a light; the kind so bright that even squeezing your eyes shut couldn't stop the sting of its beam.

"You don't have any idea what it's like to live with that," She said with each word smoldering and kindling the next. "To know your body only exists because someone else's was defiled and used."

"You're right about that. I don't know what it's like to be you. But you could tell her, Katya. You could tell Laura, if you weren't letting fear dictate your every move. It happened to the both of you. You could share it with her and try to come to terms with it together but you're just covering it up with a bunch of garbage so you don't have to deal with it, so you don't have to watch Laura deal with it," He said through his teeth. "She did the same damn thing when you gave her an out. She's just as afraid of you. The very first excuse she found not to deal with you she took it. You got pissed off at her for yelling at Ellen and she tried to use it as a reason never to face you again. She tried, but it was killing her and it took all the courage she had to come to you this morning. The truth is, she's been afraid of you her whole life, Katya and I'm not just talking about this one. I know you probably don't understand what I mean by that but it's true. She's terrified of what it means to be someone's mother. She's scared of everything that comes with it. She's afraid she'll never measure up to what you want her to be. She's scared that you'll always be thinking of someone besides her when you think of your mom. She's scared that she'll fail you and that she doesn't have what it takes. She's afraid that no matter what she does you two still won't get along, that she'll have to live with having a child who hates her and one she doesn't much like in return. You're both so obviously petrified of each other," Bill said shaking his head.

Katya felt the first hot tears slip down her cheek since she'd come into the room. Something about picturing Laura that way cut deeply at her. The last thing she ever wanted was for her mother to be afraid of her but she was starting to understand how she felt.

"Do you know what the saddest part of all this is?" Bill asked.

Another tear fell and Katya pushed it away shaking her head.

"Out of all of her fears and all of your insecurities there's one thing that scares you both the most."

Katya cleared her throat and tried to keep her voice from trembling as she spoke.

"And what's that, Admiral?"

Bill watched her for a moment before responding. He recognized more of Laura in her every time they met. He just wished like hell that his daughter hadn't inherited her mother's fear of the one thing that could bring them all together.

"The possibility of actually loving each other."

In a blink Bill saw Katya trying to hide her reaction. Whatever walls he'd knocked down she was swiftly and expertly trying to pull them back together at the mere mention of the prospect of love.

"Katya, tell me that you won't keep punishing Laura for something that you're both guilty of," He pressed as he saw the slightest hint of emotion behind her eyes. "Tell me that you won't continue to exhaust yourself just trying to find things to keep you apart because she doesn't deserve that and neither do you. Tell me, damn it," He repeated with force.

Katya took her eyes away from his. She couldn't stand being looked at so intensely. With Bill it was too close to being looked inside of. She was so tired, too tired to punish Laura, too tired to keep punishing herself and even more so, she didn't want to.

"I'll stop," She said in a whispered as her head hung down.

Bill nodded slightly and looked at his daughter's broken form.

"Katya, when are you going to stand up and pull yourself together?" He asked softly.

He truly meant it as a question, not an accusation. This wasn't the girl Saul spoke of with pride in his eyes. It wasn't the soldier Cmdr. Kaplan seemed to have endless faith in or the woman so many people seemed to adore. He wasn't picking for another fight. He was simply concerned for her. When Katya finally looked back up at him he could see that she understood that.

"Right now."

LOCATION: BETA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR C

MED WARD

YEAR: 2315

The lights were bright in Beta's ward. They seemed somehow more intense than the ones on Alpha but as Laura watched the scene in front of her she thought that it probably just felt that way because of what they were shining down upon.

"That's what brought us back?" She whispered as she stood with Bill's arm around her.

The sight of the Cylon tubs was familiar but the veiny tubes and wires that protruded from their gelatinous depths still sent chills down Laura's spine. She'd been inside of one of those things. It had sucked her soul into the body she now stood in. It was hard to wrap her mind around it all.

"I think it's more appropriate to say that Ellen brought us back," Bill returned in a low tone. "But that's definitely what she used to do it," He grimaced.

When they were finally through with what felt like the never ending briefing from hell they'd all been escorted to Beta's ward to find Sharon and Karl Agathon already submerged in their respective Cylon vats. Bill had to marvel at what kind of an operation it must have taken just to get the contraptions over from the basestar and set up within the station's medical facility. He would never get used to thinking of Ellen as a mastermind scientist. He constantly had to remind himself that behind all of her salacious behaviors; the flirting, the drinking and the wild nature was the creator of eight organic Cylon models that had embodied countless souls. The party girl he'd met that fleet week on Caprica all those thousands of years ago actually had a brilliant mind under all of her bubbly blonde curls. As he watched her standing with Saul in front of the surreal pedestal that flowed with the Cylon stream it still boggled his mind.

"They look so peaceful," Laura said breathily looking back and forth between Sharon and Helo.

A handful of doctors and lab techs milled around them and she and Bill both knew that false look of peace would be gone in mere minutes They couldn't remember much of their own resurrections having been drugged and sedated only moments after but they knew from Saul and Ellen's descriptions that it hadn't been pretty. All that they could do was wait and hope that their presence would help.

"Laura, you go to Helo when he wakes up," Bill instructed softly.

"Why Helo?" She asked, curious over Bill's sudden insistence.

"You had a certain rapport with him didn't you? Some history together at least," He added. "You were both taken on that Cylon baseship together. He helped you find D'Anna. You go to him. I think it's best."

Laura squinted at what seemed to be a string of lines Bill was giving her. She was there to help and she didn't much care who as long as she did some good but his reasoning was strange.

"I need to go to Athena," Bill clarified. "We spent a lot of time together while you were all down on New Caprica…She trusted me," He explained adding more to his explanation but suddenly it dawned on Laura what he was trying to get at.

He didn't want Sharon to wake to the woman who had once stolen her baby and made her believe she was dead.

Though Laura couldn't say it was regret that was rushing through her body as she stood there she could say that she finally understood the crushing reality of what she'd once done.

"You're right," She told Bill, dropping the debate and chancing a look at the Agathon's son who they would soon meet.

Blaze stood with Sergeant Petrov; both men free of any qualms over appearing intimidating or professional at the moment. The stood as companions, as brothers, not as soldiers. The Sergeant had an arm around Lt. Bishop who looked to be gladly leaning into his friend's supportive gate with an anxious palm to his forehead. He seemed worried and even scared, worlds away from the cheery disposition Laura knew him to have. She wondered if Katya had experienced the same distress on the day of their resurrection. Her first memory of the girl was of her fainting at the foot of her ward bed. She had no real idea of what she'd gone through earlier that day. Katya stood close behind the two men with Margot at her side and as Laura watched the four she was grateful that they all had each other.

In the corner of her vision Katya could see that Laura was staring in her direction. She wondered if the woman was even aware that she was doing it. They were all so exhausted and Katya had caught herself staring at her birth mother more than a few times during the prior briefing. Deciding that they all needed as much support as possible at the moment Katya turned and nodded at Laura in acknowledgment, gaining a hint of a smile from her in return.

The two hadn't interacted all morning but it wasn't out of spite for the night before.

When Katya and Bill had finally abandoned their makeshift meeting spot they'd embarrassingly joined the dining table just as dinner plates were being cleared. They sat far from each other; Katya on one end between Blaze and Alexi and Bill and Laura on the other, close to Saul and Ellen. There were half a dozen diplomats separating them but the men and women did nothing to divide the tension that still seemed to linger between the dejected mother and daughter.

As a dessert plate of fresh Beta berries was placed in front of her, Katya felt her wrist start to buzz with an alert. Looking down she found one message that simply read; I'm sorry. Still in a daze from the arduous exchange with Bill, Katya just figured it was Alexi, unwilling to speak the words directly to her. It was when she looked up to tease him over his close quarters messaging that she realized she was being stared at from all the way down the table. It was Laura, watching her with weepy eager eyes. A second look at the message on her cuff showed it had indeed come from Ms. Roslin. After reading it ten times over Katya finally made a decision. She had a choice, as her birth father brusquely pointed out, to keep punishing Laura only to punish herself in return, or to put a stop to their weary cycle. Though she wasn't sure the woman had all that much to apologize for after all Katya looked up and nodded at her in honest acceptance then simply messaged back; Me too.

Despite the interaction at the table neither sought the other out after the meal and the morning briefing had been no different. The tone of the day wasn't exactly lending itself toward friendly chatter. Blazer, Alexi and Margot had stayed out almost all night taking full advantage of the fresh Beta beer brewed right on station and visiting with rarely seen friends. Katya had been present for a few symbolic toasts until she was sure they were all hammered enough not to miss her. She'd taken her leave and escaped to her room hoping that when Alexi finally came in he would do it quietly. When morning rolled around and it came time to report to the briefing it was no easy task. Blaze and Alexi were in rough shape, Margot was still technically drunk and despite not partaking in any of it Katya had woken up feeling a lot like she was hung over herself. They'd all trudged into the boardroom and taken their seats without a word, gaining some nasty looks from Dr. Le Blanc and the Tighs.

"You okay, Margot?" Katya whispered looking over at her friend who seemed even worse since stepping into the ward.

"I feel…weird. That atmosphere in here feels…strange," Margot said closing her eyes.

"Yeah, no shit," Katya tried to joke but it did nothing to ease the tension on the other girl's face. "It's okay Margot. Your mom and Ellen have this under control. It'll be over soon," Katya said reaching for her hand with uneasy encouragement. "When it's over you can sleep this off."

She figured that Margot's discomfort was just a consequence of her night out, at least she hoped that's all it was. They all felt awful the entire morning. Now with the download moments away and the air filled with uncertainty it was all the four could do just to stay on their feet as they listened to Ellen and Dr. Le Blanc go through their final preparations.

Ellen was doing her best to focus but for some reason she just couldn't. She should have been more confident this time around after the success she had with Bill and Laura but she'd woken with a sense of foreboding that she couldn't shake. When she'd told Saul about her strange feeling he'd tried to brush it off but something in his face told her that he felt it too. Even as Michelle gave her a final countdown and the respirator tubes were slipped out of Karl and Sharon's throats Ellen felt the doubt in her mind. Thrusting her hands into the shallow pan of the stream she did her best to force the negativity away.

She immediately felt her fingers start to tingle and the sensation quickly traveled up her arms and through her chest until her mind was thrumming just the way it was supposed to. She was there; connected to the place between life and death and it was just like before. She could taste the static. She could smell the electricity. Everything was going according to plan and she just needed to do her job. Blocking out the squawking of Le Blanc's time checks she searched her mind for what she needed. Helo would be first. His frame was larger. He needed more oxygen.

"SpO2 just dropped to sixty-nine!" She heard Sydra shout not long after she'd started.

She needed to work fast. Damn it, Ellen thought. Sixty-nine was no good, nine, Cloud-9; her shuttle rides to the luxury liner. It was perfect. Back on Galactica during times of elevated caution she would sometimes be taken over to Cloud-9 in Helo's raptor instead of a civilian shuttle. Ellen still cursed the day the cruise ship was decimated. It was the last time she'd ever been to a decent bar. She could remember flirting with the strong and handsome ECO relentlessly while he was just trying to work the operations system on her flights. She'd even made him a few offers which he'd always refused to her dismay but he was always a gentleman about it. She could hang all over him through the entire ride, fully aware that she was getting on his nerves only to have him offer her a friendly hand and a cheerful simile as she exited his shuttle each time. He truly was a sweetheart and his son was just like him.

"Got him!" Sydra shouted over some strangled gasps.

Ellen hardly had time to notice Laura and Saul scrambling to Helo's side. She already had Sharon on her mind. Her Eight; one of her beautiful creations. She could remember designing the model with her soulful brown eyes and golden complexion. She'd made her curious and trusting, too trusting according to Cavil but it was that trust which lead Athena to start the unlikely bridging of the two races. Ellen was so proud of the Eight. Sharon had given birth to the dawn of a new beginning. It was nothing like the pride and love she'd felt with Daniel but as Ellen watched Athena walk off for the final time across the grassy plain of Earth with her daughter in hand she'd felt a sense of achievement like no other.

The sound of violent heaving finally broke Ellen from her near trance state and it was then she realized that Sharon had already come to. She met Michelle and Bill by the Eight's side as she struggled to breathe under the oxygen mask that was placed over her face.

"It's okay Sharon," Ellen spoke as calmly as she could. "Deep breaths. You've done this before. You're okay," She assured the woman as she brushed away the hair that had fallen over her face. "That-a-girl."

"Athena, it's Admiral Adama," Bill started. "You're safe. You're with Helo. He's safe too," He continued just trying to say anything he could think of to calm her down but as he heard Helo hacking just feet away he wasn't so sure he was telling the truth.

"Ellen should he be coughing like that?" Bill asked but she didn't answer. She was suddenly staring into the fluid of the tub as if she hadn't even heard him, as if she were frozen. "Ellen? Ellen?"

"Godsdamn it, Saul, he's choking!" Laura shouted when nothing they were doing seemed to be calming the newly resurrected man.

"It's alright, Laura. This happened to you too. He's okay," Saul assured, "You hear me, Helo? You're okay!" He repeated, "Sydra can't you give him something?!"

"If there's fluid in his lungs he should really get it up," The young doctor responded but Helo's coughs only got worse.

"Take it easy, Karl," Laura soothed with a hand to his broad shaking shoulder. "Try to breathe as best as you can. Even if it's hard, take a breath, c'mon," She tried but nothing seemed to be working, "His lips are turning blue, damn it!" She shouted.

"What the fuck?!" Blaze angrily shouted over all the beeping and clicking of the machines. "Someone do something!"

"Mom!" Margot suddenly called across the room, "Momm something's not right!"

Her hands were at her temples like she was in pain. She looked overwrought. Her eyes were totally unfocused. Alarmed at her state Katya attempted to guide her to sit on the floor among all the chaos.

"I mean it, people! This man is turning blue!" Laura yelled again but when she looked over at Saul he was almost in a daze. "Colonel? Saul?"

"Doctor, she's right. He can't breathe!" Sydra shouted to Le Blanc.

"Damn it! Do something!" Blaze nearly roared.

"Put him out and re-intubate!" Le Blanc yelled, rushing over to Helo's tub but before she could make it to his side a new sound joined the mad cacophony.

It was an angry and familiar buzzing that vibrated atop their heads and under their feet, and it couldn't have come at a worse time.

ACTION STATIONS. ACTION STATIONS.

BETA SET CONDITION ONE

ALL UNITS AND ALL SQUADRONS REPORT

REPEAT ALL UNITS AND ALL SQUADRONS REPORT


Aprx Translations

E-fed:

*"How are you feeling, myshka?" : Myshka - little mouse

*"C'mon, lyubov moya..." : lyubov moya- My love

*"Vsyo v poryadke? Ty ne bole'esh?" :Are you alright/ Are you sick or ill ?

*"Ti zhe znAesh, tak i dolzhno bit`." You know it has to be like this.

Union:

*"Au revoir, Katya!" :Good Bye

*"Bonne chance!": Good luck

E-Rep

*none

Chapter 22: Chapter 22

Chapter Text

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR C

MED WARD

YEAR: 2315

She knew that in space the concept of up and down didn't really exist but knowing that did nothing to stop the feeling of rolling and tumbling, spinning endlessly head over heels. From her cockpit she could see the moon, she could see the surface of Earth and she could see Alpha. Then just like that the moon was back in her sights, rolling into her line of sight. The few solid spaces she'd ever known swirled passed in a repeating spiral leaving her impossibly dizzy, disoriented and unimaginably confused. Her com system crackled but there were no voices coming through, no orders being given, no call signs being shouted because, as she realized while the moon, the earth and her home swirled passed again and again, there was no one else out there. There was no traffic, no shuttles, no fighters and not a guardian raider to be seen. If she could just stop spinning for a moment she'd have the wherewithal to send a distress signal to Alpha but she was in a constant state of motion. For a moment she wondered if it was her brain that was spinning. Perhaps she was totally still and it was her vision twirling about. She was no stranger to vertigo lately but she was too dazed to tell. The crackle of the static echoed through the cockpit again, reminding her once more of the abandoned empty airways. There was no one there, no one to help. The world seemed hopeless and desolate as it rotated in her vision once again. She was ready to give up, ready to give into the constant gyrating revolutions when she finally heard the faint echo of a voice through the fizzling speakers. It was a man's voice, or maybe two. They spoke faintly back and forth but she couldn't make out what they were saying or who they were. Summoning all of her will through the whirling fog she reached for her com button.

" This is Koshka, do you copy ?"

But only a gargled grumble behind the static answered.

"Blazer is that you?! Blazer! This is Koshka. Please come in!"

She felt her ears pop and her stomach roll and for a moment she considered that she might never stop spinning. The notion that she would spend her last hours in a state of lurching rotation caused her eyes to water with hot raging tears.

" Say again! This is Koshka, Luna Force, Blue Squadron; Alpha! Do you copy?! "

This time she was sure the mumbling echoes came from two distinct voices.

"I repeat; identify yourselves! " She shouted through frustrated and angry cries.

She could hear two male responses, muffled but definitely there. If the tumbling would just slow down maybe she could concentrate enough to understand. She decided that neither voice was Blazer's. She didn't hear Buck or Slip Shot or Mac Man…

"Katya, wake up," Laura urged as she attempted to gently rouse the distressed young woman out of her troubled slumber.

She hadn't even known the captain was in the ward just a curtain away until she'd heard her sleeping voice mumbling and crying out for Lt. Bishop. Laura had been left in her own exam station waiting for her appointment with Tawny Xao. The doctor was running late and after about thirty minutes of sitting there Laura started to hear the distressed muffled weeping behind the dividing drapes. She knew that she should mind her own business but once she was certain that it was her daughter in the next bed she just couldn't sit there and listen to her cries anymore. When she peaked passed the curtain and saw Katya fitfully sobbing in her sleep she'd rushed to her bedside.

"C'mon, sweetheart, wake up. Open your eyes. Wake up !" She repeated in a louder and more forceful voice, this time startling the captain's eyes wide open.

"It's Husker and Helo! " Katya shouted before her eyes even had time to register the light.

Laura jumped a bit, startled by the girl's waking outburst but she quickly composed herself.

"Katya what are you talking about? Are you alright?," Laura frantically asked pulling the ward bed covers down off of the captain's  perspiring neck and chest. "You were dreaming," She said trying to follow Katya’s eyes as they darted wildly around the room.

Katya's eyes stung in the bright light. She could hardly catch her breath and for some reason Laura Roslin was in her face. For a second she couldn't tell if it was reality or if she'd just slipped into another nightmare. Feeling far too vulnerable in her current position, she attempted to quickly lean up in the bed. Forgetting all about the IV in her arm she put careless pressure on her wrist, rolling the needled tube through her vein. She gasped as a sharp and unexpected pain shot up her arm and she collapsed back against the pillows with a hiss.

"Dammit!"

"Easy, easy," Laura cautioned wincing at the sight of the girl's pained expression. "Let me help you," She offered, finding the adjustment on the bed and slowly moving it into an upright position. Once the bed was in place she watched Katya take a few shuddering deep breaths as she held her hand over the sore puncture on her wrist,

"Are you okay?" She asked again.

Katya rubbed at her wrist and shut her eyes tight trying to figure out how to answer.

"Yeah," She nodded. "I think."

"I'll call for a doctor," Laura said moving to the opening in the curtain.

" No, no. I'm fine."

"You're sure?" She asked once more furrowing her brow with worry.

Katya paused to actually assess herself. Denying help was a habit. She forgot that at the moment she might actually need it. Except for her jostled IV she wasn't in any concerning pain. She was hot and sweaty and her face still felt flushed but she already felt her heartbeat beginning to slow. She didn't need a medic and she didn't need Tawny coming in and yelling. She'd already spent the morning listening to her.

"Yes. I'm sure," Katya nodded still trying to temper her breathing. Her eyes still stung and she attempted to fiercely rub the burn out of them until she saw stars beginning to fleck the darkness inside her lids. Her eyes peeked open to find Laura Roslin still watching with worry. "What the hell are you doing in here?" Katya finally asked, squinting at the concerned woman.

"I was over behind the next curtain waiting for the doctor. I heard crying and then…well, I was almost sure it was you. You were talking in your sleep. I probably shouldn't have looked in but no one seemed to be checking on you. You were so upset. I came over to wake you up," Laura explained, bracing for the backlash.

"You know, you shouldn't just barge through other people's curtains. This is an infirmary. People are entitled to some privacy," Katya complained as she ran her hand through her sweat dampened hair.

"I know. I do, believe me," Laura said remembering how much she hated anyone but Bill seeing her in Sick Bay. "I'm sorry. You just sounded so upset and I…"

"Wait…no," Katya shook her head. This wasn't right. Laura wasn't spying on her. She'd simply woken her up. She was cranky and tense and she hadn't meant to take it out on the other woman. When Tawny told her to get some rest she'd been afraid of falling to sleep in the ward. At night she had Alexi there to rouse her from the persistent nightmares but today she was alone. Laura had swooped in out of nowhere and freed her from an awful state. For that, Katya had to be grateful. "Stop…Don't apologize. I'm being an ass. I'm sorry…I just…Screw what I just said. Thank you for waking me up," She said putting both hands over her face.

Laura was relieved to hear her sudden backtracking and she took a few steps forward returning to the bedside.

"Katya, are you sure you don't want me to get a medic?"

The girl groaned into her hands before siding them down her face and into her lap.

"No, don't," She sighed. "I'm okay. I'm just glad to be awake."

"That was some dream you were having," Laura shrugged.

"Yeah, well they're never boring," Katya said with a displaced disdain.

Laura was hesitant to pry but the bit of Katya's unconscious mumblings she'd heard had her curious.

"Do you have them a lot?"

Katya nodded and huffed.

"Only every time I close my eyes."

"I know the feeling," Laura frowned.

Katya gave her a sideways glance wondering if the woman was referring to her old visions and trippy herb induced dreams that dotted all of Saul's stories. Somehow Laura's expression made Katya feel as though her empathy was fresh. Either way she had no intentions of asking.

"Dreams like this...they make you dread sleep," Katya moaned. "Even when you're fucking exhausted."

"And sometimes you're afraid you'll never wake up," Laura added looking down at the floor. "You'll just be stuck there…forever."

Katya squinted at Laura's description. It gave her an uneasy feeling to share such an awful notion with her.

"I just want them to go away," She said licking her dry lips.

Laura nodded in understanding. She tried giving a small smile of camaraderie to let Katya know that she understood but the smile never materialized on her lips. She knew it was nothing to smile about. She was too familiar with the dreadful sense of waking up aghast, disoriented and scared. Lately she could hardly go a night without waking up in a cold sweat. It had been that way since she'd resurrected on Alpha but recently her dreams had changed. Though she was still haunted by dreams of the baby she never knew, a new and more foreboding theme had been invading her mind while she slept. It was happening more and more. She was dreaming of things she didn't understand. It was a familiar but no less daunting plight. Laura knew by Katya's own admissions that as a child she too had been plagued by nightmares. She'd shared how she experienced awful dreams of her father's murder for years and how Ellen was always there to comfort her. Though the subject matter might have changed over time it was obvious that Katya still suffered from some awful dreams. Laura couldn't say that she was entirely surprised by their persistence into adulthood. She was living an entirely new lifetime and the same affliction still seemed to be plaguing her. She wished that she and Katya could have had something more pleasant in common. Their favorite color, perhaps. Though she was afraid to pry she was intrigued to know what was vexing the young woman as she slept.

"Katya what was it you yelled out when you woke up? Something about Helo?" Laura asked.

In all honesty she'd heard Katya just fine. She'd practically screamed it in her face as she woke. Laura was sure that she'd said something about Husker and Helo. She'd been dreaming about Bill and Karl.

"I…I don't know," Katya answered. "I can't remember," She shrugged, but her denial was an outright lie.

She'd been having the recurring dream since the Beta download. It was always the same with its nauseating swirling scenes and the infuriatingly garbled voices but it always ended before she could make out the hails on the crackling com system. This time though, they had finally come through.

"Are you sure?" Laura asked. "It sounded like Helo. Were you dreaming about Captain Agathon?"

"I dunno. Maybe," Katya huffed showing her frustration.

Laura nodded deciding to drop the inquiry. She was curious but she wouldn't press her. Katya looked pale and she obviously wasn't well. Laura didn't want to add to her current distress and even more so she didn't want to be dismissed. The poor girl had been all alone when she'd found her overwrought and weeping in her sleep and now Laura didn't want to leave. She'd never gotten to comfort her before.

"Can you pass me that water bottle?" Katya asked pointing to a tray close by.

Laura reached for the bottle and quickly handed it to her knowing she probably seemed far too eager to help. They hadn't seen each other much since leaving Beta Station. Almost two weeks had gone by since then and they'd only had passing interactions; never really addressing the mutual apologies they'd exchanged during the pre-download dinner. There was far too much chaos in the air.

Katya drank half the bottle in a few big gulps and placed it slowly down into her lap. When she looked up Laura was still staring at her with a concerned grimace. She'd spent the whole morning begging Tawny not to call Ellen. Now she'd wound up with a hovering babysitter anyway.

"What are you doing here, anyway?" Katya asked interrupting Laura's gawking. "Are you alright? Not that it's any of my business," She added doing her best to seem unconcerned.

Laura was finally able to muster a small smile.

"I'm fine. Just a scheduled checkup," She explained.

It was her first exam with Tawny since the doctor's instance that she make a standing quarterly appointment for screenings. The reminder alert had sounded on her cuff early that morning. She'd forgotten all about it in the chaos of the last weeks. Momentarily she’d considered skipping it but with Bill heading back to Beta to see the Agathons, she figured it was a good day to do it. She would be alone on station without much to do and Tawny's urging recommendations were still pretty fresh in mind. Laura’s heart sunk remembering what the physician had shared about the genetics she'd passed down to her daughter.

"It's a…breast exam, actually," Laura shrugged, suddenly feeling compelled to share. "But my appointment was about forty minutes ago," She sighed checking her cuff for the time. "So I think I might just tell Dr. Tawny that I'm going to skip this one and…"

"No!"

Laura looked up from her wrist with wide eyes, startled by the sudden outburst.

"No, I mean, you can't!" Katya insisted. "You shouldn't ," She added in a lower tone but with no less vindication. "Just…don't…Don't do that."

Before she even finished her ridiculous reprimanding of a grown woman that she hardly knew Katya felt her cheeks and ears start to go pink with embarrassment. She hadn't meant to sound so manic.

Laura furrowed her brow, confused over what had just taken place.

"Okay," She said gingerly trying to assure. " You're right. You're totally right. I'll stay," She affirmed waiting for the look of near panic to fade on Katya's face.

The intensity and concern in the young woman's voice seemed to come out of nowhere until Laura suddenly recalled Saul's words to her the night of the Beta dinner. He told her that all four children had taken on the weight of their birth parent's safety. When the alarms went off right after the Agathon download Laura saw them bear that weight with the strength of Atlas with her own eyes.

The atmosphere hadn't simply been breached that morning. The station's quadrant had been attacked by a full fleet of Air-bots and Beta Station had been hit. With Margot, Saul and Ellen strangely incapacitated, Katya and Alexi had been frantic. They ran between the three cylon individuals just trying to rouse them while the doctors and techs anxiously worked on Helo and Sharon through the alarms. Katya was near tears trying to shake Margot and then Ellen out of their stupor. In turn Alexi did the same with Saul, trying to jolt the man back into focus. Then the sound of a far off explosion echoed through the walls and the com system confirmed that the station was hit. Katya and Alexi immediately left the Tigh's sides. They flanked Bill and Laura with their weapons drawn as if it were an automatic response. The ward was heavily guarded with marines for the download but even so, the captain and the sergeant took on the role of personal and devoted body guards. Even once Saul and Ellen snapped out of their strange trance state Katya hardly took her focus off of Laura's protection. Blaze did the same; standing guard in front of the Agathon's tubs as if he could make himself into some kind of iron barrier. Their children hadn't let them out of their sight until the threat was isolated, the station damage was under control and the quadrant was no longer in combat. The attack had shown Bill and Laura just how important their lives were to the people of Earth Orbit. With that in mind Laura supposed she shouldn't be so surprised at Katya's distress over her remark. It made sense that she would be just as concerned over protecting them from disease as she was flying bullets. Laura regretted her flippant comment as she watched Katya staring into her lap and shaking her head still in obvious dismay.

"Look,  Tawny always has the coldest freaking hands but she's quick with the soft tissue scanner. I ran out of new jokes to make during scans like a year and half ago but she still always laughs if you offer to tip her after," Katya half mused without looking up. "It doesn't take long. Besides, what the hell else do you have to do anyway?" She scoffed.

Laura had to chuckle at the captain's absurdly rude yet somehow sweet means of persuasion but the fact that she seemed so familiar with the routine made her feel awful.

"Katya, I'm staying. I promise. You're right. I already made that mistake once."

"Don't do it again," She said closing her eyes tightly and easing back against her pillow. "It's stupid…So, so stupid."

Laura narrowed her eyes as she watched Katya breathily repeat the words, almost as if she were reminding herself. She hadn't meant to upset her so much and she chastised herself for being such a terrible example. Why hadn't she thought of that? Tawny told her that Ellen physically dragged the girl to her exams and Laura couldn't even show her that it was something to take seriously. She hated that she seemed to lack the maternal instincts that seemed so strangely strong in Ellen Tigh. She wondered if it would ever change.

The rustling of the curtains distracted Laura from her self-berating.
Both women looked up to see the younger Dr. Xao pulling the barrier open.

" Katya why aren't you sleeping ?" Tawny scowled and entered without a further greeting.

"I was . I woke up, Tawny," Katya brusquely defended as the doctor hurried to her bedside and picked up her cuffed wrist. "That happens, you know."

Tawny ignored the sarcasm and read her patient's vitals.

"Your blood pressure is still too high," She said dropping her hand. "I told you that you needed to relax. Everything is alright now, Kat. I promise. I know this morning was scary but you need to try not to worry yourself sick."

Tawny noticed Laura in the room and gave her a quick smile. She glanced back at Katya as if to ask if the other woman was the reason that she couldn't seem to calm down. Katya shook her head in acknowledgment. If anything Laura had helped. She didn't know what kind of state she would be in if she hadn't woken her.

"I am trying."

"Try harder. I told you I wouldn't call Alexi but I'm starting to think I need reinforcements."

"Tawny, no! Don't you dare . He's not even on station!" Katya challenged. "He's over on Beta. My uncle brought the Admiral back there today and he wanted Alexi on his security detail. They won't be back until tomorrow so just leave him alone," She argued.

Tawny rolled her eyes.

"I'm guessing Ellen is still a no too?"

" Big no . And she's not on station either."

"Where is she?" Laura interrupted.

With Bill and Saul gone for the next day or so Laura had taken a strange but small comfort in figuring Ellen would still be aboard. Though they might never be on more than tolerable terms, Ellen was still one of the only people Laura had on station. Something about knowing that both she and Saul were away made Laura feel uneasy and even more alone. Besides Bill they were her only link to her old life. On days when the reality of her situation started to falter, knowing the Tighs were there had become a sort of oddly grounding comfort.

"She took Margot to the basestar,” Katya explained. “They're still trying to figure out what the hell is going on with them.”

Since the Beta incident everyone was on edge about the new cylon malfunctions. It wasn't just Margot and the Tighs who were affected. The raiders had been nowhere near as ready for the attack as they usually were. The delay in their reaction time allowed the enemy fleet to infiltrate further than they had in years. The last time the bots were able to actually attack a station the bodies of Gaius Baltar and Caprica had been destroyed aboard Gamma. This time they were lucky. They hadn't been boarded. A time stamped reading from the Beta Station centurions showed several glitches in their programming that lined up with the moments before the attack. Something was causing the cylon guardians to falter. Saul and Ellen had been suspicious during the last battles within the Alpha quadrant. At that point they had just been missing the coming attack warnings from the basestar but Beta proved to them that whatever was going on was getting worse. Both the Tighs and Margot went nearly catatonic for a short time during the attack. They each reported feeling dizzy and ill, then suddenly finding themselves unable to communicate with each other or any outside stimuli. The cylons succumbing to some unknown outside force could be devastating for the Earth Orbit System. The new threat became even more alarming when days later the atmosphere below the Delta quadrant was also breached. Though the attack was not as serious and combat never came close to the station, the same effects had been felt by the cylons and in addition, a few offshoots of their family tree. Saul, Ellen, Margot and even Sharon Agathon had each experienced a short catatonic state right before the coming Delta attack and though their symptoms weren't as severe, Blazer and Alexi also had become greatly disoriented. Whatever was going on was getting stronger, so strong that cylon-human hybrids were now feeling the effects. Katya was terrified to see it happen to her whole family, to everyone she loved. The new concern had turned the tables and she'd found herself hovering over Alexi and constantly checking up on Saul and Ellen. Any time one of them so much as yawned in her presence she became panicked; worried there was an attack on its way and that her loved ones were about to slip into some unreachable state. It had taken the focus off of her own condition and she would have been grateful if she wasn't so afraid. The stress was getting to her and with her family all off of Alpha and separated around Orbit her anxiety was as it’s height.

"When will Ellen be back?" Laura frowned.

Katya shrugged.

"I don't know."

"Well then,” Tawny interjected. "You need to calm yourself down, Katya. I can't give you any medication to help."

"You're the one that's making my blood pressure spike, Tawny. Stop threatening me with calling my family. No one's aboard anyway."

The doctor gave her a blank look.

"You're staying overnight," She said matter-of-factly as she slipped her tablet from her coat pocket and tapped in some notes.

Though Katya let out an audible sigh her usual protest was missing. Tawny knew she understood the gravity this time despite her complaining.

The captain had woken her up at 0530 with about a dozen frantic worried messages. With Alexi already up and gone Tawny rushed to Katya's cabin and took her into the ward herself. Though she knew that Katya would never be a model patient she certainly wasn't refusing her help this time.

Tawny had urged Katya to call Alexi or Ellen all morning. With all of her other patients she didn't have the time to sit and reassure her friend the way she wanted to. It was important that Katya keep calm. Tawny knew that the company of Alexi or the Tighs would help but she’d been forbidden to call them. Though Tawny was worried she had to respect that Katya just didn't want to alarm anyone else.

She tried to give her friend a sympathetic smile but she looked miserable.

"Laura, I'm sorry for the wait," Tawny said giving the other woman her attention, "I had a few unexpected emergencies. There was a little accident on the loading dock. I promise I'll be with you in just a few minutes."

"Thank you, doctor," Laura smiled.

"This IV hurts," Katya complained, holding her arm out.

"I think she might have knocked it out of place before," Laura added.

Tawny glanced at the injection site and then back up at Katya. She gave her a quick look of confusion over Laura's random presence. She'd been hesitant to put the woman in the curtain closure beside her daughter but it was the only space available at the time. She never expected to come in and find her playing patient advocate. When Katya smirked and shrugged and Tawny figured that it was alright. Maybe the captain had some family with her after all.

"I'll send someone in to redo it. Just sit tight, Kat."

"Will you at least come hang out with me later since I have to sit here all night? Please?"

Tawny sighed as Katya's eyes became sullen and pouty. The younger girl had always been able to tug at her heartstrings just as easily as she could tug at her nerves.

"I can't tonight, honey. I have civilian rounds. I'm sorry. I'll be in to check on you before I leave though," Tawny assured her. "If I finish early I'll come back. Okay?" She promised, waiting for Katya's sad reluctant nod. "Oh and my dad's coming in to see you in just a minute," She added as she started walking toward the curtain.

"Tawny, no! Please? I don't want…"

"Katya, stop it ," The doctor said cutting her off. "Relax. He's not going to do anything. He just wants to talk to you," She tried to reassure but Katya looked even more dejected. "I'll be right with you, Laura," Tawny smiled and walked out.

Katya buried her head in her hands hiding from the light.  At least Tawny had already told him. Telling Cmdr. Kaplan after had been hard enough. After returning from Beta Station Katya and Alexi had another visit with Tawny. After some tests and a great deal of debate she knew it was time to alert her commanding officer of her condition. She needed to let him know that she couldn't return to flight status for a while and that she'd need a new assignment. It had been a hard conversation but Kaplan was understanding and compassionate. He'd promised to keep the reason for her change in position confidential and offered his assistance in any way possible. She'd been temporarily assigned to flight ops as an LSO and put on call for shifts in the control room but Kaplan also wanted to take advantage of her downtime. She'd been charged with plotting hypothetical strategy scenarios for possible incoming attacks. Her new jurisdiction during high alert was now control room. It wasn't quite the decrease in stress level that Tawny had been hoping for but it would keep Katya out of the air for a while longer. Kaplan agreed to tell Saul and anyone else who enquired that the captain was grounded due to a failed vision test; a lingering but temporary result of the concussion she'd suffered during her collision. It was Tawny's idea and Katya had a feeling that Saul and Ellen only bought it because of how distracted they'd been lately. She wouldn't get away with it much longer and she knew Xao was about to come in and tell her just that.

"Katya, what's wrong?" Laura asked once they were alone again. "I mean I know that it's none of my business but is this all still from your accident? It's been weeks now."

Katya inhaled until her lungs hurt. She held the air in for a moment to feel the ache before letting it out.

"No," She admitted taking her hands from her face. "I…got dehydrated," She said picking up the water bottle from her lap and shaking it for emphasis.

It was part of the truth at least.

Laura nodded in acceptance.

"I'm sorry that your family isn't on board."

"They'd just worry and they have enough to worry about these days. I'd appreciate it if you'd keep the fact that you saw me here to yourself," Katya said sternly.

Laura felt a little uneasy over the request but after the way she'd dug into Saul and Ellen over how they babied the young women she knew she couldn't do the same. Katya was allowed her privacy and Laura felt almost privileged in a way to share a secret with her.

"Sure, if that's what you want."

Katya nodded.

"I hate this place," She complained looking around the room at the beeping screens and wires. "I hate staying here, especially overnight. "Aunt Ellen usually stays with me."

"I don't much like it myself. I've seen enough syringes, and IV's and gloves to last me ten lifetimes," Laura added taking in bleak the view.

"It's hard to sleep here too," Katya added with a sigh. "Everything beeps and clicks. It's just as well, though. Can't wake up screaming if I can't sleep to begin with," She shrugged.

Laura grimaced at the comment wishing there was something she could do to help her.

"Katya, those dreams you've been having, or I guess I should call them nightmares...have they…" Laura paused reconsidering her question but she made herself ask anyway. "Have they gotten worse since the attack on Beta?"

"Why?" Katya asked curious as to why Laura seemed so interested in her nightly torment.

"I dunno," Laura lied. "I guess it was just a scary time for everyone."

Katya bit her lip and nodded.

"Nǐ hǎo, ladies," Dr. Xao greeted, slipping through the opening of the curtain.

Laura gave the demure man a smile and a nod but Katya stayed silent.

"Ms. Roslin, Dr. Tawny is waiting for you over in the next curtain," Xao smiled.

"Thank you, Doctor," She nodded.

When Laura glanced back to say goodbye and wish Katya well she was surprised to see the girl's eyes filled with tears as she looked at the old doctor. The man almost seemed to be expecting his patient's reaction and smiled sympathetically at her as he walked toward the bed. When he reached her he took her hand and squeezed it between both of his own. Laura could see Katya's bottom lip already quivering. The scene was sweet but strange. The young woman seemed so brave. Laura wondered how a little dehydration and an overnight stay could upset the brazen fighter pilot to the point of tears. Still, she supposed everyone was entitled to a few irrational phobias and she didn't blame Katya for being afraid of the ward.

Laura wanted so badly to leave her with something comforting, to give her a hug or even just a pat to the shoulder but she couldn't make herself do it even as she watched the tears brimming the girl's long dark lashes.

"Feel better, Katya," She said before taking her leave.

As she started to walk out she could see the small man leaning over to hug her daughter closely and she couldn't help overhearing the exchange between doctor and patient as she made her way through the curtains.

" Dr. Xao, " Katya cried, her voice obviously breaking with emotion.

" My Yekaterina, bùyào kū. Yǒu xìnxīn. I know that you’re frightened. Everything will be alright," He told her softly.

LOCATION: BETA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

MILITARY UNIT

CORRIDOR B

CONFERENCE ROOM 131B; UNASSIGNED

YEAR: 2315

"I'm sorry we can't bring you two back to Alpha with us, Helo," Saul explained. "It's just not safe to have the four of you together for an extended length of time," He went on, looking at Bill as though he were reiterating the facts to him as well.

The three men sat at a small oval table in an unused military meeting room aboard Beta Sation. Their coffee cups sat in front of them, barely touched and way passed tepid. Though Karl and Sharon had been alive for almost two weeks the others hadn't been able to spend more than a handful of days with them. Helo's condition had taken a brief but dangerous turn soon after his resurrection. He was put under sedation and back on a ventilator almost immediately. He was stabilized by the time the Beta attack had ceased but then fought a minor case of pneumonia caused by what was assumed to be residual stasis fluid in his lungs. Bill stayed by his bedside with Sharon for three days before Le Blanc and her team decided that it was safe enough to remove the intubation and wake him up. His second awakening was much less eventful. My comparison it was surprisingly calm but after two days of explanations, first meetings and sympathy there was another breach; this time in the Delta quadrant. Sharon had felt the effects of the new cylon affliction for the first time and everyone was there to see Blaze and Alexi suffer a similar spell. The stress of seeing Sharon in such a state had caused Helo to have a small relapse.

Bill and Laura hadn't wanted to leave Beta without the Agathons but after the Delta event Saul and Ellen didn't give them a choice. Once the airways were clear they were quickly flown back to Alpha and separated from the other two supposed saviors. They'd been communicating through the network on visual calls ever since. Though Saul and Ellen had alternated visits throughout the following week, it was Bill's first trip back to see them in person.

"I get it Colonel, it's just, Sharon and I, we're all alone here," Helo frowned.

"I know that and I'm sorry,” Tigh offered. “We won't stop visiting as long as it's safe. We'll make sure one of us comes and visits every few days until we figure something else out.”

"I know how alone you two must feel," Bill said thumbing at his now cool coffee cup. "Laura and I felt it too. We felt it even though we had Saul and Ellen with us. I honestly wasn't sure that Laura would make it through our first few weeks here so I understand how difficult this it must be for you and Sharon. It's just that your safety has to come first right now."

Helo winced and rubbed at the bridge of his nose.

"I just can't believe we did it again. It's like that old proverb from the scrolls was true and we really didn't break the cycle at all. We went through hell to get our people here and our descendants just did it all over. They played gods, created life and then expected subservience. Makes me feel like it was all a waste."

"It wasn't a waste, Helo," Saul snapped, "We gave humanity another 200,000 years when they could have perished completely. Nothing we did was a waste ," Saul repeated shaking his head, "I refuse to let it become one. There are other factors this time. These bots, they aren't just angry at being enslaved by their makers. They started to realize how humanity was treating their home. The planet had massive problems with civil war, population and pollution. The bots decided to take charge. They thought they could do better."

"Maybe they can," Helo said with a bitter shrug. " Humanity trashed the planet and now they want it back? It's like you used to say, Admiral; Why are we as a people worth saving? We never ask ourselves if we deserve to survive. "

Tigh leaned over the table like he was going to yell but he didn't.

"You keep forgetting, Helo, that this isn't just humanity, even if that's what they call themselves. This race is colonial and cylon and earthling. If you think about it, it's just their first shot."

Helo gave a cynical smile in return.

"And the races combined still couldn't get it right," He scoffed.

"It was inevitable," Bill interrupted in a low voice. "We had twelve planets to spread our people and problems over. Twelve planets to each endure a bit of the toll we took on nature. When we landed here this one little planet took on the symbolic weight and baggage of thirteen others. It's no wonder it's been abused," He said looking up to Saul and then Helo." But that doesn't mean we should give up. I think if humanity wasn't worth saving we would have been gone long ago. We've all felt the joys and sorrows of people on an individual level. That's what made life worth living. Maybe that's what makes it worth saving; not what we do as a collective entity but what we share with each other," He posed half trying to convince himself.

Saul cleared his throat and leaned back into his seat. He knew that Helo was still upset but there wasn't a doubt in the colonel's mind that he would eventually help in any way he could. Helo’s loyalty was unmatched.

"Lt. Bishop is grounded from flight duty until our…affliction passes," Tigh said testing the waters. Helo and Sharon had been informed about their son only days after their download. They'd taken it far better than either Bill or Laura but Saul knew that it was still sinking in. "He's been given permission to extend his leave and he's planning on staying aboard Beta a bit longer. This was his home for a long time. He's happy to be here and he he's glad to help you and Sharon with anything he can if you'll let em'."

Helo shook his head.

"It's just still so…I don't know, "He paused." I look in the mirror in the morning and I still can't get it through my head that it's me. I died an old man. Sharon, she never changed. She looks as beautiful as she always did."

"Ellen explained to you why we had to do that," Tigh interrupted.

"I know. I know. It's just, I look at myself and then I look at…that L.T and the fact that he's supposed to be my son just doesn't make sense. I don't know how I'm ever supposed to be his father. It's not that I don't want to be. He's a good guy and it's crazy how much he reminds us of Hera but I don't know how he could ever see me that way...Like a dad. It's just crazy."

"He isn't expecting anything, Helo," The Colonel insisted. "He just wants to help."

"Sharon's taken to him so well," Helo said bowing his head a bit. "She's taken to all of this so well. I'm still so confused."

"It's alright, Helo," Bill said firmly but reassuringly. "It's not easy. In fact it's godsdamn insanity. You should be confused and even angry. I sure as frak was. Hell, most of the time I still am. Thing is, we're here and there isn't much we can do about it but try to figure out why. You'll get there. Sharon's had experiences with resurrection before. It's understandable that she dealt with that part better than any of us have. As far as Lt. Bishop goes, you'll both just have to see where time and patients gets you. It's been just over a week and a half and you three are on pretty good terms. After a week and a half here Laura and I still didn't know who our daughter was and we're still struggling."

Helo grimaced.

"She's the captain right? The one who told me that she thought I'd be smarter?"

"Yeah. That's our girl," Saul beamed gaining a scowl from Bill.

"And she's married to...that big guy outside the door? And he's…the son of a Six and…Baltar?" Helo said asking for clarification for about the hundredth time.

He still couldn't wrap his head around any of it.

"Yeah, that's right, Helo," Bill affirmed.

"Caprica," Saul corrected gaining a bit of a look from both men.

"How did such a little man produce that?" Helo said with a snort.

"Well, he's all his mother," Saul answered with something akin to pride. "Plus he's spent more time pumping iron than chasing tail like his father. He's something of a mathematics savant, though. Least that creep Baltar passed down something useful," He shrugged.

"No kidding?" Helo said somewhat amused.

The sergeant looked more like he'd be a challenging opponent in the ring than he did a walking calculator.

Saul nodded

"And Lt. Bishop's academic credentials are nothing to sneeze at either," Saul informed the boy’s birth father. "He may come off a little goofy but that's mostly an act. On top of being an airman he’s trained as a rehabilitation therapists. You should be proud"

"Must get that from Sharon," Helo frowned. "I'm afraid your Captain was right on with her little assessment of me. Never been one for books."

"Maybe," Tigh shrugged. "But that boy didn't want to be a doctor, though he could have been a fine one. He wanted to follow in his family's footsteps. I'll tell you another thing about him; he's unyieldingly loyal," He said lifting his chin.

"That I know he gets from you, Helo," Bill added. " I remember that much."

Karl furrowed his brow and nodded.

"And he's…how old, again?"

They'd gone over this so many times over the last week. Ellen had lost her patience with him. At least Admiral and the Colonel were cutting him some slack.

"Well let's see, Katya just had a birthday two months ago," Saul pondered trying to recall the precise birth dates of each child. He couldn't. He'd long forgotten his own. Ellen kept track of those things, not him. "So that means his is coming up. He'll be twenty-two. They were all born within a few months after the other. He's second in line," He explained as Karl just continued to nod with a pained expression. "Listen, Helo; I know Ellen tried to explain this to you before but I think you should really try to take this all in. Don't be so concerned with being that boy's father. When it comes down to it you're the grandfather of the entire frakkin' race of people than inhabits this system. They all come from you and Sharon in one way or another. If you can get that through your head then having a son who looks like a brother might not seem as strange in comparison."

Helo let out a loud huff.

"Ya know, when Ellen told Sharon that…it was like she already knew. In a way I feel like she always understood what Hera was better than I did. We never had any other children but Hera gave me two grandchildren before I…before I died. I was mesmerized by them when they were born, in some ways even more so than I was with Hera. I was so proud to have a legacy…and now I realize...I didn't know what a frakkin’ legacy was,” Helo said shaking his head.

"Well you sure as hell do now," Bill answered, finally shoving his coffee way.

"Hang in there, Helo," Saul encouraged. "Ellen's decided that we can't wait much longer to bring back Sam and D'Anna. She's setting a date for next week just as soon as she comes back from the basestar. When they're here we'll find a way to get all of you together."

Helo nodded and bit his lip.

"Does she know why you all keep getting sick, Colonel? I don't know what to tell Sharon. We've been asked to help these people but I don't know how she can be expected to with what's been happening to all of you."

"We aren't sick ," Saul insisted with scowl.

"What the frak is it then?" Bill challanged.

Saul sighed and looked between his two old shipmates.

"I dunno."

LOCATION: CYLON BASESTAR; approximately 400 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CENTRAL COMMAND CONTROL CENTER

YEAR: 2315

The thrumming rhythmic sounds of the basestar hummed through Margot's body. Her hands tingled as they rested in the shallow console that ran with the flow of the cylon stream. The sensation whispered through her arms, up to her neck and into her mind where it murmured data to her like a secret. Her long legs faintly buzzed with the trilling purr of the ship's life force and she smiled as it spread to her stomach and into her chest.

When Ellen brought her there for the first time she was just fifteen years old, unsure of her identity and what it really was to be Cylon. She'd grown up raised by an Earthling Human whose cylon blood was muddled through thousands of generations. Before the Tighs presence Margot felt alone in a sense. Meeting them had changed so much for her. They told her she was special. They reminded her that her mother and father were just like her and that one day soon she would meet them. For the first time in her life she felt like she belonged. Sometimes Margot was envious of Katya for getting to live with the Tighs, odd as they were. Katya was a Colonial, the only living in Orbit at the time, the only human alive that should have had no genetic connection to the Cylon bloodline at all. Then the Tighs noticed her abilities; the cylon genetics passed down from her mother. Ellen helped Katya to understand that part of who she was. She helped her to build upon her abilities and lose the fear that came with them. By the time the girls were ten years old Katya seemed more comfortable with her cylon genetics than Margot felt with her own. It didn’t seem fair. For a time Margot tried to ignore it. She pushed away the things that made her cylon and tried to live a purely human life. She ignored the centurions that walked the halls of Delta Sation and forced herself to quit projecting all together. Eventually she'd started to think that it was the way she wanted things, until her first trip to the ship.

On the day of Margot's fifteenth birthday Ellen Tigh came to see her on Delta. When she saw the woman was without Katya she'd been disappointed at first. The girls lived for their visits together. Then Ellen explained why she was there. With her Le Blanc’s permission, Ellen was taking Margot to the cylon basestar. She told her she that was old enough to learn all that she could do and all that she could be. At first Margot was elated. She felt special and privileged. She was the youngest of the four and if Ellen had meant to take the other three they would have already gone. She knew this was something that would only be for her. She couldn't wait to see what the strange ship looked like inside but as their heavy raider neared the docking station she became afraid of what she would find within the unknown place. The fear followed her through the entire landing process. As Ellen stepped off of the raider she extended a hand to help Margot do the same but she was suddenly too afraid to take it. She'd started to panic. She apologized profusely for wasting Ellen's time and begged to be taken back to Delta. She felt embarrassed and ashamed of herself for being such a coward but she couldn't shake the dread that had overcome her. Ellen was patient and seemed almost amused at her reaction. She agreed to take her back under the condition that she exit the heavy raider and stand on the flight deck to wait for a new one. Margot was weary of leaving the vessel that had brought her aboard but wanting to return to her station as quickly as possible she’d agreed. She finally accepted the woman's hand and took her first step onto the surface of the basestar. Ellen pulled her in for what seemed like a reassuring hug but soon Margot knew it was much more than that. The Cylon woman held her tightly and told her not to be afraid. As they stood there Margot felt the pulsing vibration of the ship under her feet for the first time. It sent a warm feeling through her body that she’d never felt before. She was suddenly at ease. She felt a strange comfort she'd never known. She felt a connection she didn't think was possible.

"That's its heartbeat," Ellen had told her softly without being asked the

question. "The ship is alive just like the raiders and the centurions. It's alive just like me and you."

During those few moments in Ellen's embrace Margot's fear melted. She belonged there. It was already speaking to her and she could already understand. She never hesitated to make the trip again. She grew to love the ship for everything it was. When Ellen suggested she project to make the halls and lighting less disorienting she refused. She liked the way it looked. She found the lights almost enchanting and the sleek halls soothing. She didn't need it to look like anything else. She loved it there. If anyone ever asked her she would never admit it but sometimes she felt more at home while visiting the basestar than she ever had on Delta Station.

"How's it going kiddo?"

Ellen's voice broke Margot's concentration. She looked up and lifted her hands off of the luminous watery surface.

"You were just down there. You know as well as I do," Margot said with an arched brow.

Ellen had been a deck below with the hybrid, or at least what remained of it.

Not long after Saul and Ellen left new Earth they began to worry about the fate of the ship’s control system; it's brain, the hybrid who Ellen had come to call Lucy. For years it alternated between silent dormant states and manic mumblings of the same message that lead Tighs to their new journey.

 

THE ONCE PASSENGERS START A NEW. LAND WATER STILL THE CYCLE DOESN'T END. SIN AND WAR. AN EVOLUTION OF

IMPERFECTION GROWS TO POISON THE BLUE AND THE GREEN. REPEAT THE SINS OF THOSE WHO LEFT THE SEEDS. AN

ANCIENT PAIR BRING HOPE IN ALCHEMY AND WISDOM. PATIENTS. PATIENTS. THE BYGONE LEADERS WILL ENTER IN

THE DARKEST TIME BEFORE THE FLOCK MUST FLEE THE NEST…

 

When Saul and Ellen first decided to box themselves, Ellen knew she had to do something to safeguard Lucy. They couldn't stop the aging process on her body as they had with themselves. Most of her organic tissue was entirely human. She wasn't like Hera who's hybrid flesh and blood was true result of the mixing of two races. Hers were human parts, merely plugged into cylon conduits and connectors, responding to electricity that flowed in the stream. Ellen knew Lucy's human tissue would likely deteriorate while they were boxed for years on end and without the ship’s brain the entire vessel would cease to function. Abducting another human to make a new control system was out of the question. Lucy had come from a barbaric time in cylon history. One that Ellen would never think of repeating. It was Saul who came up with the solution. He recalled how the Colonial Fleet had once used a heavy raider's brain inside a raptor to avoid cylon detection. It was during a recon mission to Caprica. The very one which brought Anders to them. With Athena's help they had been able to disconnect the organ from its metallic interface and graft it to their own vessel. With that in mind Ellen had performed a similar procedure on Lucy. She'd taken her offline and dismantled her body from its cylon consol. The hybrid now only existed as a human brain preserved within the contents of its tub. She was in essence still alive but without a body. Her consciousness fed into the stream through organic cylon ventricles and connectors. Ellen had programmed it so even a replication her voice could be heard through the communications system as it relayed her thoughts. Ellen pitied Lucy and whoever she'd once been but she revered her for all that she had done for humanity and cylon alike. One day she'd be able to let her consciousness free.

"It took me ten minutes to walk back up here, Margot. I could have missed something," Ellen countered. "Besides I want your perspective."

"How was Lucy?" Margot teased.

Ellen smirked at the girl for ribbing her. Even Saul teased her about the so-called pet name she had for the ship's brain. She always just smiled along as they joked but if she ever shared how she'd really come to call it that she knew they wouldn't be laughing.

Not long before the hybrid's dismantlement Ellen had been lying by its tub listening to some of the last murmuring repetitions its lips and tongue would ever physically speak. As she lounged there she began to wonder about the person who was used to make the grotesque but almost divine amalgamate before her. No doubt the hybrid was once a citizen of one of the Twelve Colonies but Ellen wondered who she'd been, who'd missed her once she was taken. She began to wonder if the thing it had become could even recall the individual it had once been. As she lay with her head supported by her elbow she absentmindedly ran her fingers against the side of the vat until suddenly the hybrid's hand reached up, snatching Ellen's arm and pulling it into the tub's fluid. As her hand submerged so did her mind. The walls of the basestar were gone. Ellen saw nothing but dust and tiny flecks of debris flying around in her vision. Soon she heard the gunfire; machine guns and bombs in the distance. She heard people shouting. She heard the crumbling of stone and even more explosions. When her vision cleared all she saw was rubble. Wherever she was, it had been all but destroyed. Buildings lay in ruin, some burnt hollow, others with obvious combat still going on inside their cracking walls. She was terrified and disoriented. Her fear rose to a new height when she heard a voice; a little girl's cries and she realized it was coming from herself. She didn't understand. This wasn't a flashback. She'd never seen wartime as a child. It didn't make any sense. Suddenly she heard another scream. She looked up to see a frightened girl around twelve years old in dusty clothes shouting in her direction from just yards away. The girl was screaming at the top of her lungs. She yelled the same thing over and over again; C'mon, Lucy! Lucy! C'mon, Lucy! Ellen felt herself shrieking in response but she couldn't make out anything other than the frantic beckoning of the girl before her. Suddenly a shadow darkened the rocky grounds around them. She heard the roaring hum of an engine above her and then she saw the girl backing away from her and toward a ramshackled building. The girl screamed Lucy over and over until she disappeared inside a broken doorway. The shadow closed in making Ellen's vision darken until it turned black. As the whirring above her drowned out the sounds of bombs and bullets she could finally hear the name coming from her own mouth. Helena! Helena! she screamed in tears but the other girl was gone and she wasn't coming back for her.  In a breath Ellen was back on the basestar wrenching her arm from the grip of the hybrid and falling back hard on to the floor of the ship. Ellen panted heavily trying to catch her breath. She slipped a few times trying to get her balance with her hands covered in the slick fluid. She watched the hybrid mouth agape, still stunned over what she'd just experienced. It mumbled the same old message it had been, now acting as if it were unaware of her presence. Ellen's eyes watered thinking of the sights she'd seen and the children's voices she'd heard. Then in an instant she recalled what she'd been thinking of moments before it happened.

"Is that what you saw? Was that the last thing you saw?" She whispered unsure the hybrid was even hearing her.

It made no indication that it did. It only spoke its unchanging recitation in the same monotone voice.

"Was that girl calling for you? Who was she? She was calling for Lucy. Was that you? You called her Helena. Were you Lucy?" Ellen asked sitting up on her knees.

As the hybrid started on yet another familiar line Ellen's shoulders slumped. She was about to get up and leave when abruptly it's head cranked to face her and it's eyes seemed to focus right on hers.

"All is not lost. All is not lost," It told her before relaxing back in the vat and resuming its usual dialog.

Ellen was almost sure it had answered the question she'd been thinking of only moments before the awful vision. The hybrid's body was dismantled day's later but Ellen never called it by anything but its name ever again, even in the form in took now.

"Ellen? Ellen?" Margot called.

"Hm?"

"I said, what's up with Lucy?"

Ellen shrugged.

"She's active. Talking away. Same old lines, different day," She said smiling at the young woman.

Ellen had become very proud of Margot. She was proud of all four children but she'd watched Margot walk the precarious line of living as a cylon in a human world with grace. Ellen knew once Athena got to know the girl she'd find a kindred spirit. Margot had become a great help to Saul and Ellen in the last few years. They were grateful for her skill set, her chosen profession and helpful nature. She'd taken a large chunk of the burden off of their shoulders and she seemed happy to do it.

Though Margot so strikingly echoed her mother in appearance, Ellen saw Sam when she looked at the girl. He’d been her friend once; her confidant worlds and lives ago. Ellen was secretly anxious to have Sam Anders back. Just like Lucy, his lips had uttered the warnings of what was to come as he hurdled toward his fiery end. She'd made him a promise to help and though she knew he probably wouldn't remember his time on the sweltering broken and beaten battlestar, she still wanted to show him that she'd kept her word.

"You're avoiding my question, Margot. Tell me. What's your take?"

Margot looked around the room making sure they were alone. She'd taken a handful of Delta Station engineers along with them to help run diagnostics on the basestar's inter-Orbit System communications. Satisfied that they were all still spread out within the ship's spires she nodded. She ran her still wet hands through the roots of short blonde hair savoring the feel of the streams fluid as it cooled and tingled at her scalp.

"My take ," She repeated as she walked closer to where the other woman stood expectantly. "My take is that this is a lot worse than I thought," Margot admitted.

She nervously chewed at her bottom lip as she watched Ellen try to hide the concern in her face.

"What's your plan?" Ellen posed resuming an air of false confidence and straightening her posture.

" My plan? "

"Your plan, our plan," Ellen rolled her eyes, "What's the plan, Margot?"

The young woman sighed as she felt the weight of responsibility starting to make itself known.

"Well, the good news is that I don't think what's happening is any kind of virus; digital, biological or otherwise."

"I agree but what the frak is it?"

"Well, I had a theory. I made my team do some testing and they've given me some data that seems to back it up enough to explore further."

"Speed it up, Margot," Ellen said with a huff. "What's happening to us?"

"I think what's happening would be better compared to a sort of targeted power surge."

"A power surge?" Ellen scowled.

"Don't think of it as an electrical surge, at least not exactly. It's more like a surge to our software, excuse the term," She winced knowing Ellen hated the association but the woman just waved it off, encouraging her to go on. "There is some sort of signal being sent by the bots before an oncoming attack; a signal that's targeted specifically to effect the cylon race. It seems as though they're sending whatever it is right before the impending attacks just hoping it's strong enough to knock our raiders off their game long enough get the edge. I've gone over and over the ship's sensory outputs recorded during the time of the attacks. The entire system goes crazy whenever that specific force or signal interrupts it."

"Why are we feeling it?"

"The short answer? A cylon's a cylon," Margot shrugged.

Ellen glared at Margot with pursed lips and narrow eyes.

"But we weren't feeling it before. The raiders and our communications with the ship were obviously compromised during the last battles in the Alpha quadrant. Why did we only feel it on Beta for the first time? And why did it just now get to the boys this last time? "

"I thought about that too. Whatever this signal is, it started off just affecting the centurions, raiders and the basestar because those are their intended targets. It makes sense; disorient the things with the missiles. The alarming thing is that if you go over the ship’s sensory outputs during the last four attacks; Alpha, Alpha, Beta and Delta, you'll see that the surge gained strength each time. My guess is that by the Beta attack it was strong enough to affect you, me and Saul. By the Delta attack it was strong enough to affect Blaze and Alexi. I don't know if the gradual increase is purposeful or if they just happen to be getting better at it."

"That's just great."

"What I can tell you is that this doesn't seem to be coming from the Air-bots. This isn't something they're shooting in-flight. Whatever this force or signal is; it's coming directly from the surface. I called over to Delta and had them send a drone down low in orbit to scan for activity. The signal is constant and it's strongest right around the atmosphere line. The bots are just directing when and where it surges high enough to reach us out in Orbit."

"Margot, is there any good news to any of this?" Ellen said wincing and pinching the bridge of her nose. "Any at all?"

"Yes."

"Good, sweetie. What is it?"

"As soon as I have a full analysis of what the signal consists of I'm almost sure I can format a firewall to shield the centurions, raiders and even the ship. I'm not sure how long it will take but I'm pretty sure I can do it."

"That's my girl. That's what I want to hear," Ellen smiled.

"But there's a problem."

"There you go ruining it," Ellen said shaking her head and putting her hands on her hips. “Okay. Tell me.”

"I don't think the firewall will work on us. Our internal systems are too intricate. Even if we fed off the firewall from the ship I don't think it would be enough."

"What if we were inside the ship?"

"I don't think it works like that. I could be wrong but it seems like it's affecting the models on an individual level."

Ellen groaned out loud.

"So you can get our fleet and the centurions safe for combat but we are still going to turn into dizzy useless messes before every attack."

"Yeah."

"Godsdamn," Ellen muttered biting the nail on her thumb. They needed to get their machines working. That was more important. As much as she hated it the effects only seemed to last for a short amount of time. They would survive until they figured out how to stop it. "Okay. Fine. Get on it. We need our defense system working. We'll figure us out next. Saul and I will alert Sharon and the boys and we'll just have to be aware and take every precaution we can until we come up with something. If we have to go a little catatonic before the next few station attacks so be it. It's just the six, well…eight of us, once Sam and D'Anna get here," Ellen tried to reason to herself.

Margot cringed. She hadn't wanted to tell Ellen the next part.

"Well…that's the other thing…that's not necessarily true."

LOCATION: BETA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CENTRAL OPERATIONS AREA

EARTH ORBIT SYSTEM GROW CENTER

HYDRO GREENHOUSE IV; FLOWERING TREES & FRUITS

YEAR:2315

To an outsider who didn't know any better it would appear that there was an atmosphere above them. It would seem as though there were blue skies dusted with white moving clouds and even a yellow sun all shining into the glass panes that made up the false ceiling. There were even heat lamps hidden in the façade that made it feel as though there were rays of warmth coming from the heavens. Though the lamps were meant to encourage the lush growth below them they echoed the feeling of a warm spring day, at least what Blaze would imagine one to be like if he'd ever truly witnessed one. As he strolled along the system of high-rise catwalks that lined the greenhouse he smiled, enjoying the feeling of the artificial atmosphere on his face and the company of the woman beside him.

"We're so high," Sharon grinned as she leaned on the railing and looked down over the greenery that grew in every corner.

On the ground floor there were rows and rows of fruiting plants. There were lines of bushes and shrubs budding with berries and dozens of brightly colored flowers blooming. A lattice system of large beams was structured across the room at about the halfway point between the floor and the ceiling. From the beams hung chains and cords each with something living growing at the end of its tether. Some hung water filled globes which held the beginnings of submerged bean sprouts and spilled out with vines that grew down to the floor. Other's hung glass cubes and boxes in which flowers of all hues grew in watery beds. The strongest beams supported trees as they hung with their curled roots dipped into giant water vats on the ground floor. Also from the beams dangled a stringy system of thousands of interconnected thin transparent tubes all feeding into each living thing and supplying fresh H2O at all times. It made the whole place look like it was covered in some kind of aquatic web. A handful of workers milled around the grounds. Some pruned, some took notes on tablets charting growth and output. Others picked ripe fruits for food and harvested flowers and herbs for medicines.

"Too high?" Blaze asked putting his hands behind his back.

Sharon leaned over the railing a tad further and took a deep breath. She'd found herself doing it lately just because she could. The air smelled sweet and fresh without the tang of terrestrial dirt to muddy its scent.

"No. Not too high," She laughed. "You're aware I was a fighter pilot too, aren't you?" She smirked at him.

"Yes, Ma'am," He nodded, smiling in return. "It's just this pesky thing we call artificial gravity," He reminded her.

She leaned off of the railing and laughed as they continued to walk.

"Guess we better hope we don't have one of those episodes anytime soon. We'll fall right off," Sharon teased.

Blaze huffed and shook his head. Though he'd been trying to forget it, the fact that he and Alexi had suffered the effects of the new cylon predicament had him worried. It was an awful feeling. He'd never been so dizzy. His vision had turned into a spinning vortex and he was almost sure it would never stop. It lasted only minutes but it felt like an eternity. Though he hated being unable to report to duty he didn't blame Kaplan for ordering his CAG to take him off the flight board. In that state he would be useless. The thought of it happening again gave him chills and suddenly he wanted to get down off of the catwalk.

"Just be careful," Blaze mumbled.

"So what if I did fall?" Sharon scoffed, "Couldn't Ellen just grow me another body and bring me back?"

Blaze shrugged.

"You'd have to ask her. I'm not sure how that all works. Even the Colonel doesn't really know. She's the only one who does."

Sharon rolled her eyes.

"So after all of this is done what's gunna happen? I mean she can essentially bring cylon and human alike back from the dead with a matching body. What's to stop people from asking her to do the same for average citizens? Don't you think that technology could be made standard practice? Everyone could resurrect. It would turn this entire race into something closer to cylon than they already are. Dangerous, if you ask me. That was our biggest problem. We lacked mortality. What if humanity loses theirs?"

Blaze nodded in understanding.

"The Tighs brought that point up to the EOC a long time ago. Ellen said she didn't want that on her shoulders and they agreed it would be damaging to the society as a whole. Plans have been put into place to ensure that doesn't happen. It's why Ellen is the only one who knows how to do it. They did that on purpose. When Sam and D'Anna wake up she's suppose to destroy the tubs and anything used for the download process. Then, well…the Colonel is supposed to delete the information from her memory."

Sharon scowled and crossed her arms.

"How can they be so sure that he will? What's to stop Ellen from sharing the secret with someone else or hiding it in the basestar's software?" Sharon posed, "Who would even know?"

"I guess no one would," Blaze sighed.  “She could do that but I don't believe that she will. She doesn't want this anymore. She wants to do her part and then she wants it to be over."

“You trust her?”

“Of course I do,” Blazer said more forcefully than he meant to but he continued with a more composed tone. “Ellen Tigh is a good women. She’s the closest I’ve ever come to having a mother.”

“Me too,” Sharon noted with a smirk.

Blaze nodded and looked back down to the greenhouse grounds.

"It's so pretty here," Sharon observed as she looked up at the faux sky and down at the hanging gardens and rows of greens.

Blazer had just been about to suggest that they head back down but he was so pleased that she seemed to like the greenhouse.

"It's great, isn't it? I love it here. A lot more pleasing than the houses where they grow the wheat, algae and mushrooms. Smells a hell of a lot better too. Plus it's a lot quieter than the grain plants or the tofu dispensary. I think it's the most beautiful spot in the entire system," He agreed happily. "Well, the most beautiful man-made spot, I should say. If my squadron heard me say otherwise I'd get a few punches to the gut."

"Why's that?"

"I fly in Alpha's first squad; Luna Force. Named for our moon. It's kind of like our…"

"Mascot?"

"No, no. More like a symbolic high priestess or a mythical goddess or something. We call her the most beautiful gal in the system. We have all kinds of superstitions about its phases and stuff. Katya's got a crescent tattooed right on her ribs. Hurt like hell but she did it as tribute. Some pilots I know won't even go on dates when the moon is in its waxing phase cause' it's supposed to be bad luck. Kinda silly but it's tradition."

"Mythical?" Sharon said with a sly smile.

"Yeah…well I guess that's all in how you look at things, Athena ." He teased.

"Well I'm glad you took me here. It was getting kind of stuffy over in the barracks," Sharon said as they walked, "Can we go this way?" She asked when they came to an intersection of the catwalk.

"Sure."

Blaze stopped and motioned for her to take the lead.

Sharon paused to look down upon what seemed to be hundreds of vines dripping with grapes hanging from the beams below them. She felt Blazer stepping up to join her.

"You know," He started," I wish Cpt. Agathon would have joined us," He said putting his hands in his pockets.

"Yeah…me too," Sharon bit her lip. “He wanted to wait for Tigh and the Old Man. He's been anxious to see them. He’s still coughing a bit too. This might have been too much for him.”

"About that, do you want to head back?" He asked lifting his wrist and looking at his cuff. “ Tigh and Adama have been aboard a while now. I'm sure they want to see you too."

"They're staying overnight, aren't they?"

"Yes, Ma'am."

"We'll go soon. I'm enjoying this."

"Me too," Blaze nodded with a grin.

"You know, you just need to give Karl some time," Sharon suggested as they continued walking on the high-rise. Blaze nodded but he didn't answer.!"He likes you. He really does. It's just that you…"

"I make him uncomfortable," Blaze finished.

Sharon glanced over at him and gave a sympathetic frown.

"He just doesn't know how to see you," She said matter-of-factly.

"Well you should tell him that if it makes him feel any better, I'm not exactly sure how to see him either. At least not anymore," Blaze offered. “You know when I lived here as a little kid my dad, Dr. Bishop, he would bring me to his lab now and then. He would show me the Captain's chamber and he'd say 'Son, this is your true father. This is the man who sired you and in a way he's my father too'. He told me how the people of Earth had all come from the descendants of your first child and how important you two were. I was really proud of that. I felt like I came from a great man….and woman," He added getting a chuckle from Sharon. "And back then I had no problem looking at you both as my birth parents. Then I started getting older and older and Ellen still hadn't perfected her resurrection process. Then one day I went to visit when I was about fourteen. It was a few years after my dad was killed. I came all the way from Gamma Station where I lived at the time with the Petrovs. I'd just had a big growth spurt and I remember how I just looked at you guys and thought; these people don't look like my parents anymore…I was catching up to you," Blaze sighed and shook his head, "And I guess now I pretty much have."

He stopped and looked at Sharon. Her expression was sad and for a moment he felt bad for bringing down the mood.

"This is hard for all of us, Blaze but I understand why this is especially hard for you and Karl. It's going to take time but if you're both patient with each other you'll see that the roles of a family aren't defined by titles or age. They are defined by how you treat each other and how you feel about each other. They develop out of respect and the parts that you play in the experiences that bond you," She explained.

Blaze bit the inside of his cheek as he considered her words. He wasn't sure she was right even though he wished that she was.

"But, you and I, we have the same issue and it doesn't seem to bother you the way it does him. I may not feel like your son but at least around you I don't feel like a freak."

"Helo doesn't think of you as a freak, Blaze. Don't put that on him," Sharon said sharply narrowing her eyes. "I understand that might be how you feel but he's never said anything like that and I know it's not what he's thinking. He's just been woken from the dead, asked to save to world again and told he has a son within the span of about ten days. I think he's doing pretty well with it all considering," She defended.

"I didn't mean it like that," Blaze said putting his palms up defensively and taking a step back. "That's not what I meant. Look, it's my problem, not his."

"No. You share it. So just share it and work through it and don't compare your relationship to me with your relationship with Karl. It's not fair to him…It's not fair to you either," Sharon said looking down between the patterned pinholes of the metal catwalk's surface.

Blaze swallowed. He knew he should be grateful. Despite being taken off duty, things had been going surprisingly well. He just couldn't help wanting more.

"Why does it seem so much easier for you? I mean…I know it's not easy. I guess that's not what I mean. I remember your face when Ellen told you. I know none of this is easy and for the record…I'm really sorry about what was done to you. About what was done to your body to…bring me here," Blaze blushed."None of this is fair and a lot of it has been really wrong, so I know you've struggled. It's just…Ellen told you and you were shocked and hurt and everything…but then the next time I saw you…it was like you were almost happy that I was here. And ever since then you've been so easy to talk to and willing to accept me for whatever I might be to you. I just don't get how you can do that. I mean…I'm grateful. Don't get me wrong. I've gone to sleep in my rack every night since I met you thanking the universe for how amazing you've been. It's just that, to be honest, I understand Cpt. Agathon's reaction a hell of a lot better," He admitted.

Sharon looked up to the false sky and watched the fake clouds roll past and off into nothing.

"Is there somewhere we can sit down, Blaze?"

After about a dozen staircases and a short ride on a lift Blaze and Sharon were on the ground floor. He lead her through rows of shrubs, passing a few busy workers who paid them little mind. They came upon a section of large watery vats that held the root systems of about a dozen hanging trees.

"This is where they grow some of the apples. House III and V have more but they're such big operations that sometimes it's a little overwhelming there," He explained as he gestured to a smooth white bench. "After you."

Sharon sat and Blaze joined her side. For a while they both sat watching the knotting gnarly roots suspended in the crystal clear water. A faint buzz whooshed by and Sharon swatted in front of her face before she even registered what she'd seen.

"Was that a bee?"

"Yeah…they introduced them to help pollinate the plants naturally. They used to have some birds too but they had trouble keeping them from tainting the water supply. We don't have a lot of animals on station but we have their DNA. Before anyone actually lived in the space stations permanently, scientists started to keep genetic catalogues of as much of Earth's plant and animal life as they could. Just in case," He shrugged.

Sharon nodded. They'd had similar practices on the basestars but their grow system was utilitarian. There was nothing so lush and green. There was nothing this peaceful.

"Blaze?"

"Yes?"

"Do you think you want children of your own one day?"

Blazer's eyes went wide and he blushed a bit.

"You know, someone asked me that recently. Got me thinking about it."

"And?"

"Well…unfortunately it would be easier said than done," He admitted. "As nice as that body they made for you is, cloning isn't exactly flawless. For some reason descendants of cloned bodies tend to have a poor success rate reproducing. It's not impossible. It's just not probable. It's something about the repetitive genetics. I could explain it but it's pretty boring. If I had one parent that was cloned my chances would be a bit better but I have two. That brings my chances down a good amount. Finding a partner without the same issue brings them back up slightly. Good thing there aren't a lot of people walking around with clone DNA," He laughed. "If I found the right girl then I might want to try. Especially if things calmed down in the system…if we really could move to the surface. Yeah…I guess I would want to. Being a pilot with a dangerous job makes it a little hard to adopt.” Blaze explained. “So I guess my answer is yes but it’s not very likely to happen.”

"It was beyond unlikely that I would have Hera. Ellen's cylon models weren't supposed to be able to reproduce at all. I had two children," Sharon countered.

Blaze nodded.

"So you and the Captain had another child once you came to Earth then?"

Sharon tilted her head.

"I was talking about you , Blaze."

Blazer felt his cheeks go red. As sweet as Sharon had been it was still seldom that she truly made reference to him as her son.

"Oh. Right."

"After Hera we didn't have any more," Sharon started as she leaned forward on the bench putting her hands on her lap. "We wanted to but it didn't happen. We considered her a true miracle. We lived in a tiny village made up of others from the fleet. Many were cylon. Some were human. Hera had other children to grow up with. It would have been nice for her to have a brother though," She said smiling. "I used to imagine having a little boy who looked just like Helo. I thought it would be nice for Hera to have more family so that if something happened to me and Karl she wouldn't be alone. She had lots of friends though. All the kids in the camp would follow her around when she'd go fishing and hunting. I loved watching her play and learn and grow. And then one day I looked at her…and she'd caught up to me," Sharon said echoing Blazer's words. "On top of that, Karl was aging and I wasn't. I always knew that was the way things would be. To me, I saw him as my husband. It didn't bother me and no matter how old Hera got or what she looked like I still saw my baby. That's the way things were. We just had to accept them. It was hardest when Karl died. He'd been slowing down and I knew he felt bad that he wasn't able to keep up with me anymore. We had two grandchildren at the time and I still looked and felt like I always had. I didn't want to say goodbye to him but I always knew there was a good chance he would go before I did. I lived over twenty more years without him and I never stopped missing him," Sharon said shaking her head.

"You lived twenty years after that? So that means your grandkids…"

"When I died my oldest grandson was older than you, Blaze," Sharon said firmly and waited for the reality to sink in.

Blaze's mouth hung open as he tried to compute what Sharon was explaining.

"And you still…"

"I still looked like…this," She answered. "A little more rough and worn. We didn't have an easy life by any means but I looked generally the same. It came to a point in time where Hera looked more like my mother than the other way around. She always knew where we stood though. She was my daughter. She knew that. Her children knew that. It was learned and it was understood. It's how our life was."

Blaze cracked his knuckles one by one as he tried to imagine what it had been like for his sister. If they all lived long enough he knew that one day he and Sharon would have the same experience.

"Do you mind if I ask how…"

"How I died?" Sharon finished.

"You don't have to."

"I was old. I might not have looked it and it took me a long time to feel it but I was. Cylon's without resurrection aren't immortal they're just more durable. If we had the medicine and technology that we'd abandoned I'm sure I would have lived a lot longer. You see for yourself how long the Tighs have lasted. That just wasn't part of our life anymore. There were new illnesses too. Ones the indigenous people carried. Diseases that Colonials and Cylon had never seen. Eventually the years of hiking and hunting and hard work caught up to me. I got weaker and slower. A bunch of us were out foraging one day. I went a little further off than I should have and a storm came. I was far from my group and I had to struggle the entire way back to camp in the pouring rain and mud on my own. I made it but I got sick after; really sick. I’d picked up something native to the planet that didn't discriminate between earthling, cylon or otherwise. I hacked my brains out for weeks. Hera and her family took care of me day and night. I felt awful making them work so hard and making them worry. Sometimes I felt like a burden but I was proud that I raised such a devoted family. It felt good to see that. One night I could hardly breathe. They put my cot by the fire because I was always cold and Hera was sitting there with me trying to keep me comfortable. She was so sweet. The last thing I remember was her telling me that she loved me and would miss me but it was alright if I wanted to go see Daddy again. So I did. I hated to say goodbye to her but I knew that she would be alright and that one day we would all be together again."

"And were you?"

"We were…I'm positive we were. It's hard to remember where Helo and I just came from. I don't know how to explain it. It's like I know what it felt like but I don't know what it was. We were together though…and we will be again. One day all of us will," She said confidently as she looked at her son.

"Thanks for sharing that with me, Sharon. I understand a lot better now."

"You and Helo will get there, Blaze. At least know that he wants to."

"I want that too."

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR C

MED WARD

YEAR: 2315

Laura was hesitating as she stood in front of Katya's ward curtain. She'd spent hours debating whether or not she would return to the infirmary. Almost as soon as she'd left after her exam she'd wanted to go back. When she'd gotten to her quarters she found herself in tears. At first she thought it was because of how civil she and Katya had managed to be with one another, even pleasant. As the day went on Laura's tears returned whenever she so much as pictured Katya in the ward. It became clear where the tears were coming from. It hurt to see her child sick and in distress. She had felt it for the first time when she'd gone to confront Ellen. The girl she had newly learned was her daughter was sleeping on the Tigh's sofa with her head bandaged. It was all so new and confusing at the time but she remembered the awful pang that hit her deep in the chest just knowing that Katya was injured. She'd felt it again seeing her in the clinic bed with an IV in her arm looking white as a sheet. Laura cried once more as she wondered how Bill had ever buried a son and gone on to live his life another day. She hardly knew her daughter and just the sight of her a little under the weather had made her feel so terrible and helpless.

When supper time came around Laura tried ordering an in-cabin meal but with Bill away and her thoughts occupied she had little interest in eating it. She tried so hard to convince herself that returning to the ward would do more harm than good. She told herself that Katya would be sleeping, that she'd rather be left alone, that she wouldn't want her there. The latter was the only excuse she found any validity in. She had heard Katya asking for company and she saw the disappointment on her face when Tawny told her she wouldn't be there. Katya had said herself that she probably wouldn't get much sleep in the ward. The only thing that was stopping Laura from visiting was the thought that her daughter would rather be alone than with her. In the end though, the thought of Katya sick and all by herself was what finally drove Laura to go. She'd rather try and be asked to leave than lay in bed all night thinking that her child was lonely and ill. After discarding her dinner she'd grabbed one of her books and in a knee jerk decision employed Vladi to escort her to the ward instead of the human marine guard. Saul had never switched the machine out for another. Laura knew it, though she didn't know how. She could just tell. Vladi had stopped bringing her things and his affectionate behaviors had ceased. She figured the Colonel must have just given him some kind of order to cut it out and figured she'd be none the wiser. With his defining characteristics gone she knew she shouldn't have been able to tell it was still him but she could. After returning from Beta she decided that she wouldn't ask for him to be removed again.

When Laura left for the ward she figured the centurion would make the perfect excuse as to why she'd come back. Now as she hesitated to open the curtain Vladi's expectant eye swept back and forth as if it was urging her on. It was making her even more nervous than she already was. She wished she could knock first but the fabric partition didn't allow for such an announcement. Out of recent habit Laura reached her hand into the pocket of her sweater and felt around for the little object she knew she would find. She'd taken to carrying Katya's matryoshka baby around with her wherever she went. She knew it was silly but she just felt better having it with her. Once in awhile she would give the tiny doll a squeeze and remember the way her daughter had smiled when she first showed it to her. As she stood in front of the curtains Laura squeezed the baby doll as tightly as she could. It hurt her palm but it put a smile on her face. She took a deep breath and released the tiny toy into her pocket as a young medic passed by. Stopping him, she politely asked if he wouldn't mind alerting the captain to her presence. The testy medic seemed like he in fact did mind but with a look to the huge machine behind her he obliged anyway.

Laura watched the ill-tempered man flick the curtains back with a bit of disdain and she wondered if Katya hadn't made his shift just the tiniest bit unpleasant.

"Captain Isakoff, you have a visitor. Is that alright?" He halfheartedly announced stepping only halfway through the curtain.

Katya looked up from the screen projected over her station cuff. She'd been reading articles from a Gamma Station science journal all night and her eyes were starting to burn.

"Yeah, okay. I guess. As long as it's not you ," Katya told the irritated man.

He huffed as he backed away and Laura had to stop herself from laughing at the interaction.

"She's all yours , Ma'am," He told Laura without looking at her again.

She giggled quietly as she watched him walk off. Motioning for Vladi to stay put, she took a deep breath, tucked the book under her arm and stepped up to the gap in the curtains.

"I'm guessing he's not a fan of yours," Laura greeted with a smile.

When Katya looked up she was more than a little surprised. The expression on her face almost sent Laura running out of the clinic but she was relieved when the captain's eyes softened and her lips curled into an almost a sheepish smile.

"No. He sure isn't and the feeling is mutual," Katya answered.

She watched Laura as she stood at the entrance unmoving. She was confused as to why she was there. When Xao had come in earlier she'd been totally distracted. She'd hardly noticed Laura leave.

Katya had totally broken down in front of her lifelong doctor but their conversation had been a comforting one. She was glad to have spoken with him once it was over but she wished she'd been able to thank Laura once more before she'd left.

"What are you doing here? Tawny's gone for the night if you're back for more under the shirt action," Katya teased trying to hide her apprehension with a joke.

Laura blinked a few times at the bawdy remark but then couldn't help the chuckle that escaped her. At least Ellen had given her daughter a sense of humor. She supposed it was a good trait to have even if it was a bit off color.

"No," Laura smiled, "I came back to see how you were feeling."

"Oh…"

"I can leave if you want your rest. I just…I know your family is off station and you didn't seem too excited about spending the night here alone. I still remember how awful it can be. I don't have to stay. I just thought you might like some company…even if it is me," Laura shrugged at her own anxious attempt at humor.

Katya smirked at the woman's brave little quip.

"I look that desperate?" She teased in return but when she saw Laura's face fall she immediately scrambled to do some damage control. "That was a joke. Sorry, I thought we were…Never mind. Come in."

Katya rolled her eyes at herself. Maybe they just weren't ready for that level of banter.

"Sorry," Laura said making her way to the bed and setting her book on a nearby tray. She knew she was being over sensitive. “I…I really didn't know if I should come. I didn't want to bother you. Bill's off station too and I was by myself. I figured why not be alone together? I don't have to stay."

Katya bit her bottom lip. She tried to stop herself from being glad that Laura had returned but it wasn't working.

"Well you came all this way. Might as well stick around for a minute," She shrugged and pointed to a chair that was shoved off into the corner.

Laura nodded and dragged it over but she didn't sit. She hated that it still felt so awkward to be around her daughter. She knew that it shouldn't be that way.

"How are you feeling, Captain?" She asked crossing her arms.

Katya had a little more color in her face which seemed like a good sign. Despite having her father's eye and hair color Katya had inherited her mother's fair complexion. Laura knew that it didn't take much to dull the brightness in her own cheeks.

"I'm fine, thank you. Much better. Except for the mess that idiot made of my arm! " Katya shouted in the direction of the curtain, hoping the irksome medic would hear.

Laura looked back at the closed drapes and laughed.

"That medic? What happened?"

"He doesn't know what he's doing. Tawny had him redo my IV and it took him so many tries he collapsed the vein. I threw the moron out. They had to send someone else in to finish the job," Katya said holding out both arms.

Laura grimaced as she looked at the abandoned and bandaged injection site. She knew it was probably purple and bruised underneath. They'd moved the IV to her other arm. She remembered having to do the same after so many drips and injections in Sick Bay.

"I'm sorry," Laura said wincing at the sight.

"Yeah well, you know how it is," Katya mumbled.

Laura nodded and for a few moments an uneasy silence hung in the air. Looking down at the floor she saw the large shadow of her escort still standing guard behind the curtain. She'd almost forgotten it was there.

"Oh, I brought you something," Laura said with tentative grin returning to her face. "A surprise. It might cheer you up if you're up for it?"

Katya squinted at Laura wondering what in the hell she could have possibly brought her. She didn't think the woman knew her well enough to have the slightest idea of what would cheer her up.

"Okay…"

Laura nodded and quickly dipped outside of the curtain. Katya heard her telling someone to come in. The instruction was followed by the distinct zoom of centurion motion. In an instant Katya knew what Laura had done.

"I brought someone with me," She announced as she held open the drapes for the large machine to enter.

"Vladi!" Katya greeted happily.

The centurion trudged along, stopping at the side of the bed while Laura hung back by the entrance. She was immediately happy that she'd brought the cylon with her. Seeing another smile on Katya's face was enough to make her sure of that. She just wasn't sure she wanted anymore involvement in whatever sort of interaction was about to take place. Though she wasn't exactly against having the machine as her guard any longer, she still wasn't anxious to return any of its strange affections.

"I'm happy to see you, Vladi," Katya smiled.

The centurion extended a long spindly finger in her direction and she gladly grasped the smooth metal digit.

Laura frowned at the sight. The girl seemed happier to see the toaster than she was to see her and she didn't even blame her. While it was a strange meeting between two very different entities it lacked the awkwardness of their own communications. She couldn't believe she was actually envious of a bullet head.

"It's okay, Vladi," Katya said watching the cylon's eye sweep back and forth, "I’m alright. At least, it will be. I promise," She told him, still smiling. She held the palm of her hand up and the machine knowingly bent over allowing her to place it on his chest plate. He moved as close as he could, making sure she didn't have to lean too far off of her bed. Her hand rested on him for a few moments before his head tilted to the side almost as if he were pondering something. His eye zoomed across a few times before Kayta's eyes widened, "And how did you know that?" She asked surprised at whatever she'd reciprocated from him. "Because it's a secret," She answered with something like a pained smile painted on her lips. "Yes…Yes, we'll see, Vladi."

Laura marveled at the interaction but it was still so unsettling. She'd grown up terrified of the centurion machines. Her childhood nightmares of the First Cylon War were filled with visions of the long outdated model and their vengeful agenda. Now she was watching her own daughter happily converse with one. She had no idea how Katya was communicating with it but what scared Laura the most about the entire scene was that in theory she should be able to do the same.

"I'm glad you came to see me, Vladi. It made me very happy but you should be outside standing guard for Ms. Roslin. You get back out there and I promise to come see you soon." Without much of a farewell the Cylon guard turned and retreated. Laura ducked out of his way avoiding his supreme gate as he made his exit. "Bye, Vladi," Katya called as he disappeared behind the curtain. She laughed while she listened to his chromed feet stomping into position. Swallowing hard she looked down at her lap before glancing back up at Laura. "What made you bring him here?"

"I'd been led to believe you two were sort of…friendly. I thought it might be nice."

Katya was near stunned that Laura had thought to do something like that for her.

"Thank you," She said relaxing back on her pillows. "It was."

Laura nodded and took a few steps back toward the bed.

"I think it was a little upset. We didn't have time to stop for a gift."

Katya snickered at the remark. Saul had mentioned a few times that Vladi was very taken with Laura Roslin. He'd also mentioned that she was scared to death of him which Katya and Ellen had found quite amusing.

"I heard he's been bringing you things. He does it to me and Ellen all the time. He's just trying to be nice."

"I don't understand how you can communicate with it," Laura shook her head with a bewildered sigh.

"I don't understand it either," Katya said through a yawn. "I just do it."

Laura thought that Katya looked a little more tired than she had when she'd first arrived. She wondered if the cylon visit had been a bit much for the mending young woman.

"I can take it and go now if you think you want to try and get some rest?" Laura offered.

Katya bit her lip trying to figure out if she wanted Laura to leave or not. It was nice knowing she'd cared enough to come though she couldn't understand just why she cared. A few weeks ago Laura Roslin was just about the last person Katya would want keeping her company but she was almost happy to see her when she’d walked through the drapes. Having her there was still strange though. It was a little uncomfortable but she truly despised being alone in the ward.

"Do you want to go?" She tested.

Laura opened her mouth to speak but she forced herself to stop. She could hear the measured intent in the young woman's voice. She was still sharp enough to know when she was being tried. She'd been ready to answer with an automatic ' If you want me to, ' but that wasn't the answer to what her daughter was asking.

"No," She answered timidly but honestly. “ I want to stay."

Katya nodded and gestured to the chair for the second time.

"Then sit."

Laura inhaled deeply and she pulled the chair forward. She let her breath out slowly as she sat down.

"You'll let me know when you want to get some sleep?"

"I won't sleep tonight," Katya assured her.

Laura nodded.

"I spoke to Bill," She started, trying to keep the conversation going. "He said they'll be back before noon tomorrow."

"Yeah, Alexi said the same."

"You think you'll be out of here by then?"

"I should be," Katya said looking up at the ceiling. "I'm going to tell Alexi the truth. I just didn't want him rushing back here when there was no need. It's more my aunt and uncle I didn't want knowing. I'll tell them too…eventually. It’s not like you have to lie for me…"

"It's alright," Laura said holding her palms up to dissuade her concern. "It's your business. Have you spoken to Ellen?"

"She sent me a few messages. She says she'll be back tomorrow but she doesn't know exactly when," Katya shrugged. "I just hate being so far away from her."

It was rare that Katya or Ellen left the Alpha quadrant for more than a few hours at a time. When Katya first enlisted she knew that she could be assigned to any station or intersystem pod in orbit. She'd dreaded the thought of being separated from Ellen. She'd gotten lucky when she was assigned to her home station but she was always suspicious that the Tighs might have pulled some strings to make it happen. She knew Ellen felt the same way about the possible distance. They simply didn't want to be so far apart and she wouldn't put it passed her parents to have figured out a way to keep her aboard. Katya hadn't questioned it. It would have only complicated matters and made her feel guilty to know she’d gotten special treatment. She’d let it go. Alpha was her home and she was happy to stay there.

"Katya, what do you think is…happening with them? I mean Saul, Ellen, Sharon and…"

"The cylons."

"Yes."

"You know, you can say it. It's not a dirty word or anything. Ellen always said you were a cylophobe. You should probably work on getting over that already," Katya said raising her eyebrows.

Laura wasn't sure how to respond but when Katya suddenly continued she was grateful she didn't have to.

"To answer your question; I'm not sure what's happening but whatever it is it's not good. I'm afraid it might be the beginning of some kind of virus. Having Saul and Ellen affected…that was terrifying but now Blaze…Alexi…If they can feel it now then it must be gaining strength. I just hope Margot can figure something out. I have to believe she will. If she doesn't our defense system is screwed without the help of the Cylons . I can't watch my entire family turn into zonked out zombies every time there's an attack. I'm afraid one time they won't come out of it. If something happened to Ellen or Alexi…"

Laura glanced up at the monitor above the bed when she noticed some flickering numbers. Katya's heart rate was climbing. She'd upset her.

"I know it's hard, Katya but you have to try not to think that way. You're asking for the next crisis before it's even presented itself. Sometimes you have to just take a deep breath and trust in the people around you. If you can help them in some way then you will."

"I can't help them."

"Maybe you can. We've got to deal with things as they come."

Laura saw Katya's eyes water even though she quickly tried to hide them with her palm.

"I can't even fly anymore," She barely whispered.

Laura cringed. She'd meant to come cheer Katya up and now she was in tears. She didn't know what to do but she knew what she wanted to do. She wanted to scoot on to the bed and put her arms around her child. She wanted to soothingly stroke back her long dark hair and tell her that everything was going to be okay. She wanted so badly to do it but she'd never so much as touched her daughter before. At least not that either could remember. Laura knew she'd actually carried her baby safely for over six months until they were taken from each other. On the little girl's first night out of her gestational chamber Laura had even nursed her; their two bodies warm against one another within the cold laboratory walls. She knew Katya had fallen asleep at her breast and for that one night they were allowed to stay tucked together until morning came to take them apart again. She knew all of that but only because she'd been told by Ellen and then again by Bill. The two had seen the footage and been so moved by it but Laura still couldn't bring herself to watch it. There were dreams that seemed to echo the scene but she knew that they weren't her memories. There was no one inside the body that Katya came from. She knew she'd been elsewhere when her baby came into the world. There was no soul to feel the connection as her body fed her child, ceasing her cries, and Katya would never be able to recall their first and only contact either. As far as they were both concerned they'd never laid a hand on one another. As Laura considered it all, watching her daughter hide her teary eyes behind her hand she couldn't help herself. She was conscious now; body and soul. Now she could offer her baby a touch with actual emotion behind it. She couldn't pass up the chance. As Katya lay there blinded by the fingers of one hand Laura reached out to place a comforting palm over the other that rested by her side. When she finally felt the girls cool skin under her hand she thought her heart might burst into a thousand pieces. Then in an instant suddenly she was lost.

Katya immediately felt the woman's hand cover her own. It felt warm and oddly familiar. Her throat tightened up before she had the chance to quell the emotive response. With a shaky breath she took her other hand from her eyes and looked back at her birth mother only to see the woman's face in utter shock and astonishment. Something was wrong.

"Katya…what is this?"

Laura's voice was nothing but a frightened whisper. Her eyes moved from side to side taking in the scene around her.

They were still together but the ward room was gone. Katya's bed was replaced by a lounge chair and there was rocky sand beneath Laura's feet. She could no longer hear the beeps and clicks of the infirmary machines. Instead she heard ocean waves and gull calls. The antiseptic smell faded and she inhaled the salty breeze that was suddenly blowing through her hair. A look to the water made her squint as an orange sunset over the horizon.

Katya was confused at first. She didn't understand the fear on Laura's face. The hand that rested over hers started trembling and she wondered if the woman had suddenly taken ill. It was when Laura looked in the direction of the water that Katya realized what was happening. Her stomach dropped as she saw the Laura's eyes react to the sun's rays.

"You can see that?" She asked softly.

Laura's eyes darted around as panic started to set in. She barely nodded at Katya's question.

"I…I see the ocean."

" Shit ," Katya mumbled.

She quickly snatched her hand away from Laura's and broke the projection entirely.

Laura jumped as her surroundings changed in a blink. They were in Alpha's ward again. Katya was back in bed and even the sterile smell had returned. Laura put a hand over her heart. It was drumming on overtime in her chest and she was totally disoriented. She thought she might fall if she wasn't already sitting down.

"Damn it," Katya swore under her breath as she watched Laura's eyes grow to twice their size. "Ms. Roslin, are you okay?" Laura seemed totally out of focus. "Ma'am?!" Katya called a little louder.

Laura's eyes snapped back to the girl in the bed and she looked at her with utter confusion.

"What just happened?"

"I'm so sorry," Katya said with a palm to her forehead. She'd only just started to project once Laura brought up the cylon glitch. It was all so overwhelming. Thinking of her family spread out all over the system, vulnerable to whatever was affecting them. It was making her sick with worry. The fact that she was stuck in the ward made it all so much worse. Knowing she had to do her best to keep herself calm she'd employed Ellen's favorite projection. "I'm so, so sorry. You're okay. We're here on Alpha. What you saw; that was my fault…I didn't think…I didn't know you were going to…" Katya stammered not knowing how to explain. "Look, what just happened was me , not you. You're not hallucinating or going crazy or anything like that. Okay?"

" Then what was it? " Laura snapped.

Katya wanted to throw the sheets over her head and curl up into a ball. She'd made yet another mess that she'd have to clean up.

"It's just something I do sometimes…to relax. I didn't mean to have you see it," She bit her lip watching Laura's bewildered expression.

She could kick herself for what she'd just done. The woman was obviously totally freaked out.

Laura ran a hand through her hair and swallowed hard. She was trying to settle herself but the more Katya tried to explain the more it upset her. Visions and dreams, she could deal with. She was used to them but when her daughter claimed responsibility for the change of scenery, Laura knew in the back if her mind what it was and she found it terrifying.

"You did that?" She asked in a low voice.

She knew the answer but she couldn't think of anything else to say.

"Yes…but I didn't mean to involve you. I guess when you held my hand you just…" Katya shrugged and let out a dejected huff.

She'd waited her whole life to know the woman's touch and now she'd ruined it. She figured that Laura would never want to touch her again.

"How do you…"

"I dunno," Katya frowned and let her shoulders slump. "The same way I can talk to Vladi, I guess. I don't understand it very well. I just do it. Ellen says I can because…well…once you had a transfusion from a hybrid. She says it came from you…I guess that's why you can…" She stopped when another look of fear washed over Laura's face.

"The lab," Laura abruptly said with a gasp.

At first Katya didn't understand what she was referencing but then she remembered the talk she'd had with Ellen.

"You mean with Ellen?" She meekly posed. Laura looked up at her. "Yeah, same thing," Katya nodded in affirmation.

Laura knew what Cylon projection was. She'd learned about it back when it was just intel gained by Athena. She and Bill had spoken about it long ago on Galactica. When he told her about Katya's genes he'd only slightly brushed the abilities she was supposed to have. It was hard enough to hear it. It was unnerving to see it but it was completely overwhelming to know now that she shared it. Laura had put what happened in the lab behind her weeks ago. She'd chalked it up to emotion and anxiety but now she knew exactly what she'd seen.

"She showed me…" Laura put her hand over her mouth getting choked up before she could finish.

"I know what Ellen showed you," Katya said quickly cutting her off. "Please don't be mad at her for that. Please? Believe it or not she thought she was doing something good."

Laura closed her eyes tight. She could still see it so clearly in her mind. Her baby in the lucite basket squirming under the pale blue blanket. She could remember the tiny sounds she made and how soft her skin looked. Ellen had shown it to her.

"I'm not mad. I'm…" Laura’s words were lost.

All she could manage to do was stare at Katya and shake her head.

"I didn't mean to scare you. You caught me by surprise. I'm really sorry."

"Katya, stop it," Laura said abruptly making the girl's eyes go wide in surprise. "I mean…Don't apologize for that. I know…I know you didn't do it on purpose."

She understood that Katya couldn't help who she was and every time she said she was sorry Laura felt like she was making her feel bad about it. Whatever it was, it had come from her. She was the one who was sorry for passing down genes that were altered by mechanical blood and tainted by the threat of disease. When Katya nodded in acceptance Laura relaxed in her chair a bit.

"I don't do it a lot. Just sometimes when I get too overwhelmed," She shrugged.

"So the whole time we've been sitting here you saw…" Laura started but Katya interrupted.

" No . Not the whole time," She didn't want Laura to think she'd been upset by her visit. "We started talking about everything that's been going on…I guess that got me a little worked up with everyone off station tonight. Ellen's so far away. I miss her. That beach is her spot. Sometimes it just helps me calm down."

"Her spot ?"

Katya tried to think about how she could explain what she meant but she was starting to feel a new cloud of guilt roll in. Not only had she scared the hell out of Laura, she'd inadvertently showed her Ellen's beach. It felt wrong. They'd always just shared that spot with each other. She'd never even showed it to Alexi. It was the first projection that Katya could remember sharing with Ellen. It was special.

"It's her projection. At least it was. I just copy it sometimes if she's not around to share it with. She showed it to me when I was a little girl…I liked it. I took me a while but eventually I could recreate it on my own."

Laura didn't know how to respond. She was partly terrified but part of her wanted Katya to go on. Like it or not this was part of who her child was. She'd made her that way.

"It's…a beautiful scene," She offered hoping Katya wouldn't hear the tremor in her voice. "I can see why it relaxes you."

Katya laughed cynically. Laura had just seen it too and she was anything but relaxed.

"I've never seen a beach in person," She shrugged. "I've never even been to the surface. All my references come from pictures and videos on the network. When I first saw Ellen's projection I was amazed. The sounds and smells, the feel of the sand; I'd never been anywhere but the stations and the pods. She showed me what it was my people were trying so hard to get back to. It made me understand it better."

Laura couldn't help but pity the girl. It made her sad to know that her child's feet had never touched the solid surface of Earth or any planet for that matter. The years she'd lived in the fleet were hard enough. She couldn't imagine what it would be like to grow up that way.

"It was so vivid ," Laura observed.” It's hard to believe we weren't just there."

"I've memorized that one the best. When I was little I didn't think I could project on my own. I just assumed I could only do it through Ellen. Eventually with her help I was able to. Things started to make sense after that. I think I'd been doing it without realizing in a way since I was born. It helped explain why my dreams were so lifelike…why sometimes I thought I saw things that weren't really there. At least once I recognized it I was able to see something pleasant."

Laura felt the blood drain from her face at Katya's descriptions. It all sounded too familiar.

"Sharing projections is how Ellen taught me about the planets she lived on. She showed me mountains and forests and cities. I'm not very good at making them on my own. I have nothing to reference except what I've seen through her or in pictures. When I try I always get something wrong. It doesn't look right, or smell right…or something's just missing or off. Aunt Ellen always thought it was funny when I would mess up. I guess it was. What the hell do I know about rivers and rocks and dirt? I liked it better when I could just replicate the places that she showed me. That beach is her favorite place."

Laura knew she should respond but she was too stunned. She was struggling to come up with something worth saying.

"I don't recognize it from the Colonies," She said attempting to shake the fog from her head.

"She says it was on her Earth. Uncle Saul told me that when you saw that planet it was a wasteland but it used to be beautiful. Ellen showed me parts of it. She showed me some things from the Colonies too. My favorite was this big beautiful concert hall. I can't remember what she called it. I think she said it was on…Virgo?"

Laura nodded and Katya was surprised to see her sport a shaky smile.

"Virgon. The Grand Boskirk Theater," Laura offered.

"That's the one. Sometimes I would use it when I danced. Our theater here on Alpha is okay but nothing like that. Projecting that hall made me feel like a true ballerina. Ellen mostly made me keep it a secret though. Uncle Saul didn't like me doing it."

"Why not?"

"He knew it would upset you and the Admiral once you found out."

Laura took a deep breath and looked away for a moment. She knew her reaction wasn't what it should have been. She just couldn't stop the fear within her.

"I'm not sure upset is the right word. It's very…shocking."

"He didn't want you to think I was a little cylon freak," Katya joked. When Laura's eyes nearly bugged out of her head it made her laugh. "The funny thing is even he showed me something once. He made me promise not to tell Ellen. I guess because if I did, he'd have to stop yelling at her for encouraging me."

"What did Saul show you?"

Laura was doing her best to keep composed. She truly didn't want Katya to think she was mad at her, or worse somehow abhorred by what she was capable of. It was just so hard to focus. So many things were rushing through her mind. Everything she'd seen after Baltar’s cure, her dreams in her last life and in this one. It wouldn't stop.

"Galactica,” Katya answered.

Laura's breath caught in her throat and suddenly she wasn't thinking of anything else except what Katya had just said.

"You've seen Galactica?"

As Laura tried to hide the reaction that was threatening to surface Katya nodded.

"Well just the CIC…oh and the landing deck but I had to beg him for that one. I don't know what made Uncle Saul do it. He was always so against it. I think I was eleven or twelve. One day when he was walking me home from the lab he told me that he was going to show me where I really came from. He never shared it again and it was too complicated to replicate myself."

It was hard for Laura to suppress the emotion she felt rising in her chest. She could kiss the old grumpy son of a bitch for being so sweetly sentimental. He'd shown Katya the ship that brought their people to Earth and its halls where her parents had fallen in love.

Laura painfully swallowed down the knot in her throat before she was able to speak.

"You'll have to excuse my reaction to this, Katya. I just never imagined I…" Laura couldn't finish the thought. She blinked away the few tears that welled in her eyes and tried to smile. "I guess it's nice to be able to…get away once in awhile," She mused and shrugged.

"Like I said I don't do it much anymore. You just happened to get caught up in a rare occurrence. I know it sounds stupid but even with all the beautiful sites Ellen's shown me, most of the time I'd rather be on Alpha. I don't really know anything else. This is where my family is, where my life is. I know that it's dangerous and that it will be better for my people to get back to the surface but Alpha is my home. I can't imagine leaving it," Katya said as she looked around the room, "I bet you think I'm crazy for saying that. I know you hate it here."

"I don't think that sounds crazy at all," Laura said remembering how Galactica had come to feel like home toward the bittersweet end of her last life. "And I don't hate it here."

At least she didn't anymore. Not everything.

"You know it's not bad…the cylon thing, I mean. I wouldn't ever wish it away. I'm glad to have the little bit that I do. It made feel closer to Saul and Ellen…Alexi too. Not just because of the projecting. Lex won't even do it. Says he hates it. It's something else. It's a connection, a sort of feeling of belonging...at least once you open yourself up to it…You don't have to be afraid."

Though Laura was moved by Katya’s thoughtful encouragement she just couldn't accept it yet.

"You look tired, Katya. Why don't you try and rest?"

"I told you, I won't sleep tonight," She insisted again. "But you should head home. It's late."

"What will you do all night if I go?"

Katya shrugged.

"I was reading before you got here."

"What were you reading?"

"A thesis on how applying synthetic chemistry methods can disrupt the circadian rhythm in humans and change their biological clocks."

Laura grimaced as Katya rattled off the long and clinical title.

"Were you punishing yourself for something?"

Katya let out a silent giggle.

"No. I was trained in biochemistry in school before I enlisted. We were all trained within a specific area of study. Margot's just the only one who still really uses hers. I haven't been in the lab since you…Well anyway I was starting to miss it a little. It was an interesting read."

"I'm sure it was," Laura smirked. Somehow it made her feel better to know that Katya had gotten a more than ample education before joining the service and getting married. Maybe she had misjudged the Tighs after all. She knew so little about her child. "How about a little change of pace?" She proposed, standing up to retrieve the book she'd brought from the ward tray it rested on. "I know you told me you've read this before but sometimes it's nice to reread a favorite."

Katya smiled seeing the big floppy paper mess she'd created. It looked worn at the edges and she could tell that it had been well read. She was glad.

"Thanks, Ms. Roslin but I think my eyes are done reading for the night. They were starting to sting before and I just can't get used to all that page turning."

"Well what if I read a little to you?"

Katya's brow rose.

"You want to read to me? Out loud?"

"Well I wasn't going to act it out with shadow puppets."

Katya felt her cheeks flush. She'd expected Laura to run out of the ward screaming after the accidental projection incident but she'd stayed and let her explain. When she gave her an out to go home she thought that she'd happily take it but now she was offering to read to her. She didn't know how to process her feelings about Laura anymore. It was easier when she hated her. It was easier when Laura was giving her reasons to. Now she didn't know what was happening. She wanted to tell her to leave but at the same time she hoped that she wouldn't.

"You don't have to do that."

"I know it's no sunset beach projection but it's a nice way to escape for a little bit."

"I dunno."

"I understand if you want to be left alone. Maybe I should let you get some sleep."

"I won't sleep," She repeated again.

"How about one chapter then? Or until you get sick of the sound of my voice?" Laura suggested with a hopeful smile.

After a moment that felt like an eternity Katya nodded in agreement and Laura's smile grew bigger. She reached for the bed adjustment and put it down a few notches.

"That okay?"

"Yeah," Katya yawned. "Thanks, Ms. Roslin."

Laura sighed for a moment and hugged the book close to her chest.

"Katya, do you think you could me a favor?"

"Hm?"

"Stop calling me that? It just makes me feel…really bad to hear you say it," She admitted. "Laura's just fine if that's okay with you?"

Laura hardly heard her first name during the last few years of her life. Mostly she was known by her title. Eventually it was only Bill who ever spoke it to her and she savored it every time he did. The lack of much formal appellation was one of the only things that she was grateful for in her new life on Alpha. She understood that Katya was just trying to be polite but her impersonal address was a kick in the gut every time. Laura didn't expect her daughter to give her any sort of maternal epithet. She knew she'd probably die again without ever hearing anything close. Katya didn't even call Ellen mother. She didn't need to be addressed as a parent but couldn't take being addressed like she was a stranger, like she was Katya's teacher instead of her mother. It was a repeating reminder of their estrangement and it hurt more every time.

Katya shrugged. She remembered when she was little and she'd called Laura her mommy without a second thought. She just wasn't around to hear it.

"Okay."

"Thank you," She said softly as she took her seat again.

Laura read through the first chapter and Katya found that she rather enjoyed the sound of her voice. It was smooth and even, feminine but strong. She even found that she liked listening to the sound of the paper pages turning when someone else was doing it. When the first chapter ended she looked up expectantly. She wouldn't ask her to continue but she didn't want her to stop. Laura hesitated, unsure of herself, but when she finally went on Katya was glad. She closed her eyes as she listened and by the end of the third chapter she was fast asleep.

Laura sat watching her for a moment trying to decide what to do. She knew she should probably leave and allow her to rest but thinking of the girl waking in the middle of the night and finding herself alone again made her heart hurt. Even worse than that was thinking of her having another nightmare. Katya hadn't wanted to fall asleep; not because she wasn't exhausted but because she was scared of what terrors it would bring. If that happened after Laura left there would be no one but the temperamental medic around to wake her. Laura knew going back to her cabin would just ensure that she'd likely have one of her own tormenting dreams and tonight Bill wouldn't be there to comfort her. If she left they would likely both end up alone and afraid. She considered that Katya might be angry to find her still there when she woke. She was already overstepping. It was too much too quickly and she knew it but as she watched her she simply couldn't make herself leave. Katya looked so sweet while she slept. She looked like a little girl. The suspicion in her face was gone, the stress around her eyes softened and Laura wanted to take it in for a while longer. Placing the book on the floor, she scooted her chair closer to the bed. She gently placed her palm over the hand that it had abruptly parted from on the surreal shore. She lightly brushed her fingers beside the slightly bruised skin that Katya's IV ran into and for the first time since her mother was sick she knew what it was to want to take someone's pain away, to wish to bear it for them no matter how big or small. She was grateful when Katya didn't stir. She relaxed in her chair as she watched her daughter sleep until her own eyes became heavy and she drifted off herself.

For a while the mother and daughter slept side by side as comfortable as either could be considering their surroundings and positions. Katya didn't stir and Laura's sleep was deep and uneventful until eventually the familiar sense started to plague her slumbering mind.

Laura had become used to the feeling. She experienced it almost every night lately. She'd almost come to expect it but that didn't make it any less terrifying.

All around her was a thick cool fluid. It was slick against every part of her bare skin and the way it suspended and supported her body was almost relaxing. At least it was until she realized that she couldn't breathe. Laura opened her eyes in the murky solution and saw a dim light coming from the surface above her. With all of her might she fought against the cold liquid embrace until she emerged passed the water line gasping for air. Her fists gripped for the sides of the vessel that contained her but her skin was coated and her fingers slipped and slid along the ultra smooth structure as she tried to pull herself up. Once she finally had a steady enough handle she stopped to catch her breath. She swiped away the fluid that clouded her eyes and panted as the tubs contents sloshed around her. She was in a resurrection tub. It was always the same. A look at her surroundings showed the familiar scene she'd come to witness over and over. The room was dark, so dark that she couldn't make out any walls or a ceiling. The room just eventually faded off into nothing. There were no corners, no doors just blackness in every direction. Only the area she was in was illuminated by some unknown light source. The floors were inky black and so shiny that they were reflective. There were glass pillars encircling the area as if they were supporting a nonexistent roof. Laura wasn't alone in the bizarre room. She never was. She was just the only one who was ever awake. She looked around to see about ten other tubs dispersed around hers. Some were empty; filled with only milky contents and other's held sleeping bodies, familiar bodies. Laura saw Karl and then Sharon peacefully resting in their respective tubs. Not far off was Sam Anders and a few empty tubs down lay the body of the woman she'd known as D'Anna Biers. As always, Laura saw Bill's body last and as always, she couldn't stop herself from rushing out of her tub at the sight of him. She slipped and slid against the vat as she tried to climb over its sides. She knew it should have hurt when she slithered out and hit the cold hard shiny floor but it didn't. She struggled to get to her feet but even when she did she couldn't keep the traction. The room was empty save for its pillars and tubs and there was nothing to help wipe off the hindering goo that coated her naked body. She crawled slick and slippery all the way to Bill's tub and fought like hell to pull herself up close enough to see his face. Her thick hair was so heavily saturated with the tub’s lingering waters that it almost seemed to threaten to tug her down backwards. Fighting against the pull she held herself up on her knees and leaned over to attempt to wake Bill's sleeping form. In this endeavor her attempt was always futile. She would reach in and shake him, call his name, run her wet hands down his cheeks and through his hair begging him to wake up. Though he never did, she always tried. When she exhausted herself she would slip down beside the tub and cry by his side until she woke but this time, she wasn't waking up.

After what seemed like an eternity Laura's cries were interrupted by a bubbling sound. Hoping it might be the sound of Bill moving in his tub she quickly pulled herself up to get a better view. She was disappointed to find he was silent and still as ever. The sound came again and this time Laura's eyes were pulled in the direction of two empty tubs. Suddenly their waters were moving. They bubbled and rippled as if something were cooking in the strange concoction. With great hesitation she crawled closer to get a better view, slipping and falling more than a few times on the way. She stopped short of the vats not wanting to get any closer. Watching the fluid bubble she curiously leaned up on her bare overworked knees to peer in. It was useless. She couldn't see anything inside the thick milky solution. She was just about to turn and make her way back to Bill when something shot up in one of the tubs. The other tub followed with a swish and a splash as its inhabitant popped up startling Laura and causing her to slide back onto her bottom with a thump. A body had emerged in each tub. Laura hurried to cover herself as the instinctive sense of modestly took over but soon she found she had no reason to shield her body. The forms in the tubs were still. She squinted trying to make out who they might be. Their faces were both coated in the same slick substance that covered her own body and in the dim light it was hard to make them out. She forced herself to inch toward one of the tubs. When she made it close enough she reached a shaky hand over the face of the person who lay inside. She gingerly wiped away the goo that concealed their identity. Laura yanked her hand away when it revealed a face she'd grown to despise long ago. In the tub lay the dormant body of Gaius Baltar. Laura turned around to the other newly inhibited vat and she knew that if she cleared the face of its occupant she'd find the Six they’d once called Caprica. The woman's body was as still as all the others and Laura was no less alone. She had no idea what to do. She didn't know where she was or why. She was exposed and afraid and all she could think of was making it back to Bill's side. Though his body seemed vacant she found comfort in being close to it. As she attempted to make it to her feet once more she felt the room's smooth shiny floor start to rumble and shake underneath her. The vibrations shook her down to the cold surface again and as she sat there it’s humming sounded deep within her core. Once again she heard the tub's waters start to ripple with  movement. Laura quickly glanced back at Blatar and Caprica. She watched as their bodies shook and then started to slide down back into the depths of the tubs. Soon they were gone. They'd disappeared almost as quickly as they had emerged. She started to panic as the rumbling grew stronger and she struggled even harder to get her footing and return to Bill. When she was finally able to stand she chanced a look inside the now empty tubs. There was no sign that the bodies had ever been there. They were gone. Laura jumped when she heard a sharp crackle. Losing the ever teetering balance that she so ferociously fought for she fell again, landing against the side of the tub that had moments before held Caprica's body. Laura winced expecting pain to shoot up her back but it didn't. She hardly had time to be grateful as the cracking sound grew louder and more frequent and the rumbling intensified. Soon the sound of gunshots rang in the dark distance. She rested for a moment trying to compose herself and form a plan but then she felt it; a cold splash to her neck and back. More gelatinous fluid poured over the sides of the tank that she rested upon and onto her shoulders. She was sure that when she looked back she would find that Caprica's body had reemerged.

Laura turned around using the side of the coated tub as support and was shocked to find Sgt. Petrov in his mother's place. Another sloppy splashing sound made her cringe and when she turned to Baltar's tub she found it now occupied by a much larger body. Inching closer Laura could see it was Lt. Bishop. Alexi and Blaze were both unconscious and unmoving save for the room's ominous vibrations. The cracking sound was becoming sharper and as Laura looked around she finally saw the source of the noise; breaks in the surrounding glass pillars. With a surge of fear and adrenaline she got to  hands and knees heading for Bill's tub and away from the splintering glass columns. She couldn't feel pain but she felt the pounding of her heart and the room trembling around her. Laura slid on one of the puddles that she'd made on her way and it sent her zooming straight toward the side of another empty tub. As she hit it hard the sides splashed over and she just knew that it wasn't the impact of her body that had done it. Laura looked over her shoulder as she scurried away and saw Margot's body bobbing limply inside. When she made it back to Bill's side she was in a panic. She tried waking him again; slapping at his cheeks and shaking at his slick bare shoulders but it was no use. She looked around the room. No one was moving. Besides her own empty vat, only two vacant tubs remained and their waters stood still as if even the quaking room had no effect on them. The sound of the nearest pillar split in her ears and she looked over to see the once crystal clear structure now marbled with a new web of fractures. She didn't know what to do. The floor shook beneath her as she saw the column starting to waver. She couldn't think of anything other than climbing in with Bill and holding him close. She braced herself and carefully lifted one long slick leg over the side of his tub. She heard a shattering sound and she closed her eyes as she prepared to sink down into the slimy shelter. Before she could bring her other leg over she abruptly felt herself being shoved out of the way by an almost inhuman force before the pillar crumbled and fell.

" Ms. Roslin, wake up ," Katya urged, nudging the fraught woman's sleeping shoulder.

She'd woken to find Laura leaned over in the chair with her head resting beside her on the bed. She was surprised to see that she was still there. The last thing she remembered was hearing her read the title of the third chapter in the book. She'd fought to stay awake, worried over the dreams that would come but in the end Laura's dulcet voice had lulled her to sleep and she hadn't woken all night. Katya could tell by the bustling and mumbling outside her curtain that the morning shift had come into the ward. Laura had stayed all night. Katya was even more surprised to find that she was holding her hand. She wished like hell that it didn't make her feel so uncomfortable but it did. It was a sweet gesture, one she'd longed for as a child but she didn't know this woman. She couldn't just suddenly bond with her. Her heart was telling her that it felt comforting and satisfying and that she should just embrace it but her brain was telling her heart to shut up. When Katya first tried to take her hand from Laura she'd found that she couldn't. The poor frightened woman was holding on to her with an iron grip and it was actually getting steadily tighter. Katya abruptly leaned up in the bed. The swift motion had made her stomach churn and her head swim but the pain in her hand was worse. She'd looked down at where Laura slept to find her in obvious distress. She was breathing heavily and her eyes were shut so tightly that they only allowed the tiniest of tears to squeeze out of the corners. Now after a few attempts Katya was finding it difficult to wake her and she was starting to worry.

"Ms. Roslin. C'mon, Ms. Roslin… Damn it , " She said giving her a more forceful shake. " Laura! "

Laura shot straight up with a gasp releasing Katya's hand. The gasp was immediately followed by a painful hiss as she felt the results of sleeping with her back hunched over all night.

" Careful, " Katya winced, "Are you alright?!"

Laura put a clammy palm to her forehead as she struggled to orient herself and catch her breath. Moving the hand to her heaving chest she looked around the room quickly remembering where she was.

"Yes," She said through her fast paced breaths, "Yes. I'm fine."

"You don't look fine."

Laura inhaled as steadily and as deeply as she could. She let the air out slowly, hoping that it would calm her lungs. The dream had never gone on that long before.

"I am. I am. It was just..."

"A nightmare," Katya finished for her.

"Yes," She whispered and nodded.

"You have a quite a grip," Katya smirked holding up her hand and wagging her fingers.

Laura cringed as she realized what must have happened. She knew she'd fallen to sleep holding Katya's hand. It was the one her IV was feeding into and Laura felt awful.

"Gods. I'm so sorry. Did I hurt you?"

"No. Not really. No lasting damage. It's fine," Katya assured her. Laura's eyes looked different. They looked disturbed and Katya wondered what she could have been dreaming of. "Did you stay here all night?"

Laura sighed and licked at her dry lips.

"Yeah…I guess I did. I'm sorry. I must have just passed out."

Katya nodded.

"I guess it's a good thing," She shrugged. "If you were at home there wouldn't have been anyone to wake you."

"Thank you, by the way," Laura offered.

"Yeah well I’m returning the favor Besides, it was that or lose the fingers," She teased.

Slowly Katya eased herself back onto her pillow with a hand clutched to her queasy stomach.

Laura noticed her discomfort and frowned. A glance to her cuff showed it was passed 0600. She really had stayed all night.

"Has anyone been in to discharge you yet?" She asked, though at the moment Katya didn't look like she was in any shape to leave the ward.

Katya just shook her head and rolled onto her side curling her knees toward her chest. As if on cue the curtains parted and Tawny Xao entered with a bright smile on her face.

"Morning, Koshka," She greeted her friend. When she saw Laura sitting by Katya's side her smile changed from cheerful to just plain amused. "Ah, Ms. Roslin. Good morning," She said putting a bag she held by the foot of the bed.

"Good morning, Tawny."

"Back again, I see," The doctor ribbed.

Laura smiled somewhat uncomfortably. She didn't know how Katya really felt about her staying and at the moment the girl looked pretty miserable. Feeling like she was suddenly in the way Laura slowly got up out of her chair. Even her legs were stiff from her all night vigil. She moved to the other side of the room leaving the doctor some space.

"Hey, is the centurion outside the curtain, Vladi?" The doctor asked.

Laura hesitated but then nodded.

"Yes. Why?"

Tawny shrugged and rolled her eyes.

"He waved to me," She said turning her attentions to the young woman in the bed. "How's my number one patient doing?" Tawny winked as she reached for Katya's wrist to read her vitals. Katya didn't answer. Her teeth were clenched together just trying to keep from gagging. "Your pressure is great. Did you get a good night's sleep?"

Katya nodded softly.

"For once," She mumbled, glancing over at Laura who gave her tiny smile in return.

Laura knew that she should go but she wanted to say goodbye to her alone. She considered stepping out for a moment but when Katya looked over at her, she just froze in place. Her daughter didn't look well.

"Good," Tawny said reaching for her tablet in her coat pocket. "I want you to eat some breakfast and let me give you a onceover before I let you go."

"You actually think I'm going to keep food down?" Katya groaned.

"I think you're gunna try," The doctor retorted.

"Damn it, Tawny. You said this was going to go away," Katya whined curling up on her side again.

"Yeah, well everyone's different," Tawny said as she put her tablet back in her pocket and went to roll a tray by the bedside. With some antiseptic she cleaned Katya's injection site and disconnected her IV. As she put some pressure on the tiny wound and removed the needle Katya grimaced. Tawny couldn't tell if her reaction was the result of the stinging or her other affliction. She had a feeling it was the latter. "I'll bring you some mint tea," She offered as she went to the sink to wash up. “Should help the nausea subside enough for you to get a few bites in.”

"I want to be out of here before noon," Katya announced.

Saul and Alexi would be back by then.

"Then work with me," Tawny answered. She walked back over and leaned her palms on the foot of the bed beside the bag she’d brought in." I'll send a medic in to prep for the exam. You keep some food down after that and you can go but no work. I'm not clearing you for duty till tomorrow. I want you to go back to your cabin and rest. I'll come over later to check on you."

"Fine," Katya said without protest. For once she didn't feel like reporting at all.

"I brought you some clean clothes," The doctor smiled sweetly, lifting the bag.

In their hurry to the ward the previous morning they were in too much of a panic to pack any. When Tawny had finally gotten done with her civilian rounds that night she was too exhausted to visit Med Ward. Though everything had turned out to be fine she knew the morning's events had scared Katya deeply. It made her feel guilty for leaving her alone all night but she was so tired. Figuring the captain would be sleeping anyway Tawny returned to her own cabin. She packed her a friend a bag of clean clothes before bed hoping it would make up for her absence. She'd even thrown in the sweater Katya loved and crossed her fingers that she'd get it back this time without Ellen's freesia and brandy scent added to it.

"I took your other stuff home. I sent it out with the laundry. I don't think anything was ruined. I'll bring it when I come by."

"Thanks," Katya said softy.

With a look to the monitor above the bed Tawny stuck her hands in her pockets.

"You might feel like crap but everything looks good," She assured her. When Katya hardly acknowledged her comment she looked over at Laura and smiled. The woman looked positively worried. "Alright, Cap, just sit tight and wait for the medic. I'll be back in just a bit," She said making her way to the break in the partition. When her friend didn't answer she looked back at her over her shoulder. "You gotta hang in there, Kat. Just a couple more weeks. That's all we need."

Katya nodded and Tawny left her with a sympathetic smile.

Once the doctor was gone Katya rolled onto her back and put her knees up on the bed as she checked her cuff for messages. She was avoiding Laura's presence. She knew that the woman was staring at her and she knew why. She felt her moving closer to the bed. When she chanced a look at her out of the corner of her eyes she saw a worried and pained expression on her face.

Laura stood watching her trying to figure out what she'd just heard. Parts of the conversation were strange. They didn't add up. She wouldn't have questioned the rest if she hadn't heard Tawny's parting words. Something wasn't right.

"Katya, what's wrong?" She asked in a voice that boarded on begging her to answer.

Laura couldn't stop the overwhelming sense of concern. How she could care so much for someone she barely knew boggled her mind but she felt it nonetheless. She knew Katya would probably be angry at her for pressing but at least she would know she cared enough to ask.

"Nothing."

"There's something. I can tell."

"No there isn't."

"If you're worried about me running to Saul or Ellen, I promise you can trust…"

" Ms. Roslin ," Katya said cutting her off sharply. She saw the woman slightly wince at her name. "Laura," She corrected feeling bad about the slip. It really did look like it physically hurt her to hear it, "I really appreciate that you came down here and brought Vladi and everything but I think you should probably get going."

Laura sighed and dropped her shoulders. She couldn't disrespect her privacy. Her daughter was a grown woman. She wanted to help but she was being asked to leave and she knew she had to go. She nodded in acceptance and bent down to pick up her discarded book.

"I know that your family will be back today but if you ever want some company again…well…" Laura trailed off as Katya closed her eyes against the churning in her stomach and merely bobbed her head in a dismissive response.

Laura turned to leave. When she pulled the curtains back a medic was already entering with a small machine and some medical instruments on a cart. She almost paused to see what they all were but she stopped herself. She was overstepping in the worst way. She didn't even know what she'd be looking for. Things were so different there.

"Laura," Katya called just as she was about step out.

Laura looked back, surprised to hear her voice. The girl still had her eyes closed tightly and she had scrunched herself up into a pitiful little ball.

"Yes?"

"Thank you for…" Katya started but didn't finish the thought. "Just…thank you."

Laura put her hand in her pocket to feel around for the little doll. Once she found it she gave it all little squeeze.

"Feel better, Katya."


 

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Aprx tanslations:

E-Rep/Sector Chinese

-"Nǐ hǎo, ladies," Dr. Xao greeted... : *Hello, laides.*

-"My Yekaterina, bùyào kū. Yǒu xìnxīn. Everything will be alright.": *My, Yekaterina, don't cry. Have faith. Everything...*

Chapter 23: Chapter 23

Chapter Text

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 139B: ASSIGNMENT; ISAKOFF/PETROV

YEAR: 2315

Finally out of the ward Katya lay in her rack waiting for Alexi to return home. She knew he'd be surprised to find her there. She should have been on the flight deck but she wouldn't be able to return for at least another day. It was fine with her for once. LSO duty didn't hold the appeal that flight patrol did and she was in no mood to go over combat ops. After she was discharged she'd come home to find their cabin a frightful mess. She and Tawny had left in such a frantic hurry the previous morning that she'd forgotten the state she'd left it in. Before Katya was even able to rest she'd stripped the rack, put on fresh linens, sent the laundry out and did her best to pick up around the cabin. She wouldn't let Alexi come home to see the hellish condition it was in before. The young military couple was used to keeping their new home as tidy as they would be expected to keep their barracks.

When Katya was done she flopped on the bed, exhausted and already needing a nap but she hesitated to let herself sleep. She wanted to wait until she heard that Ellen had safely returned to Alpha and until she could rest in Alexi's arms.

Katya had slept so well the night before and in the ward no less. It was one of the first times she'd slept through the night in weeks and it felt good. She was slow to admit it to herself but deep down she knew that Laura had been a comfort to her. It was almost like having Ellen by her side as she slept; protective and soothing. With the pleasant rest she'd gotten she thought that she would have more energy for the day but her body felt completely drained. As she curled up on her side under the freshly changed sheets she wanted nothing more than to cuddle into her husband's strong but gentle embrace. She hoped he would oblige her even after she confessed what had gone on in his absence.

When he finally came through the hatch it was without a greeting. He didn't know she was there. She heard him toss his heavy bag to floor and stomp over to the kitchen to open the cooler door. Katya braced herself for his reaction. She could lie to him and try to get away with it but she wouldn't. Not about this.

" Lex, " She called in a drawn out and sleepy tone.

Alexi was surprised to hear her voice and he nearly spit into the bottle of water he was downing. He swallowed hard and quickly kicked the cooler door shut.

" Yekaterina? " He shouted in return, wiping at his chin and swiftly making his way to their room. When he found her in bed she could already see the worry on his face, "Katya, what are you doing home?" He scowled, "Ty v pory'adke?"

Katya supposed she should have opted for the sofa. She should have known finding her in bed in the middle of the afternoon would set off his alarm bells.

"Dah, dah. I'm fine," She smiled, motioning for him to come toward the rack." I'm fine. I was just waiting for you," She smiled.

"Waiting for me?" He said walking over and taking her hand. He squeezed it as he bent down and gave her a quick warm kiss. "I didn't see you on the flight deck. I figured Kaplan had you in the control room."

She gave his hand a squeeze in return and bit her lip.

"No. I didn't go in today, Lex. How was your flight back?"

"Fine," He said quickly dismissing her deflection. Katya knew it was weak anyway and she'd done it out of habit rather than intent. "Why didn't you report today?" He scowled as he kicked off his heavy boots.

"I'm not going in again until tomorrow," She shrugged. "Will you take a nap with me now that you're home?" She asked with as sweet of a smile as she could conjure.

"A nap? It's 1400, Katya."

"Aren't you tired from your trip?"

Alexi sighed and then nodded.

"Yes. I guess I am. I got a few Beta marines to take the night shift so I got to go out with Blaze for a while."

"How is he?"

She'd been concerned about her friend. With everything he was going through with his newly resurrected parents she worried about him being alone on Beta Station. She hated that he was so far away. Her cylon family had her stressed enough and she knew the next time there was a breach in the system Blaze would likely suffer the strange effects all on his own.

"He's good actually. Things are going alright for him. We had a few drinks. Stayed out too late."

Katya smiled, glad that the boys had spent time with one another. They really were more like brothers than friends. She could still remember when they were fifteen and the boys first moved to Alpha. She'd felt guilty for being so happy about it after the travesty it stemmed from. Blaze had already been orphaned by the war three years prior. After living on Gamma for another three both boys lost their only remaining guardian when Dr. Petrov was killed. After a few months in a military run group home Saul and Ellen were able to get the boys transferred to Alpha. They took up legal guardianship of both Alexi and Blaze. They allowed them to live on their own in the petty officers barracks while they finished their studies and prepared for early enlistment. To Blaze's disappointment Alexi and Katya had nothing keeping them apart any longer. They'd been together ever since.

"If you're tired then lay down with me," Katya encouraged.

Alexi nodded and started to remove his shirt and then his station tanks. Katya grinned as she lay back enjoying the view he was inadvertently giving her. When he dropped his pants to reveal his boxers she huffed remembering she was too tired and in no shape to take advantage of her new company. She had to settle for the second chaste kiss that he gave her before taking a seat on the edge of the mattress.

"What are you doing home, Yakaterina?" He asked again, giving her another chance to explain herself.

"I'm resting."

"Was your shift changed?" He tested.

"Nyet,"She shook her head.

Alexi knew she was evading something. It was almost painfully obvious. He tried to read her. He hated to do it but sometimes she just gave him no other option. He frowned when he couldn't get a thing. She was actively blocking him. He wondered how she'd ever gotten so good at it with her subjacent quasi-cylon blood. Sometimes he thought that she had a better handle on it than any of them.

"Tell me. What gives, Kat?"

"Will you promise not overreact?" She posed tilting her head on her pillow.

Alexi's eyes narrowed and she could tell she'd already upset him.

"You know, that habit you have of answering a question with a question is rude, Katya," He said with some frustration.

"And? You've known me your whole life. Did you just notice that now?" She teased.

"No. I'm reminding you. I’m hoping one day you'll quit it. Now tell me what you're doing home in the middle of the day," He requested again as his posture became more rigid.

Katya closed her eyes and took a half breath in.

"Tawny's orders," She admitted calmly looking back at her husband.

Alexi felt the blood drain from his face. He'd figured he was about to hear something to that effect but it hadn't stopped the words from filling him with any less dread.

"Katya, why? What happened? U teby'A pr'avda vsy'o horosh'o?"

Katya's eyes quickly welled with unexpected tears. She hadn't meant to get upset. She wanted to stay calm for him. She wanted to show him that there really wasn't anything to be alarmed over but she couldn't stop herself. When she thought back to the previous morning she couldn't help but remember how scared and overwhelmed she'd been. She finally let down whatever barriers she'd been holding up between them and when she saw her husband's face fall she reached for him.

"Katya," Alexi whispered leaning over to embrace his wife.

"It was yesterday morning just after you left," She started to explain as more and more tears fell. "I woke up and I…" She halted when her throat tensed.

Alexi hugged her tighter. She didn't have to finish. She'd finally let him in.

"Myshka," He murmured into her ear.

"But everything's okay, Lex," She assured him with a strained and hitching voice as she wrapped her arms around him in return, "Somehow...everything was fine. It's okay. I stayed overnight in the ward and Tawny sent me home late this morning. It's alright. I can even go back to work tomorrow," She rambled through her tears, trying to comfort Alexi and remind herself.

"Katya, why didn't you call me?" Alexi said leaning back up.

Katya could see her husband's eyes were red though no tears threatened. She'd never actually seen him cry before. Not when they were kids and she broke her violin over his head, not on their wedding day, not even when his father died and his birth parent’s bodies perished. She hated that she'd brought him as close to tears as she'd ever seen him.

"Because I didn't want you coming back for no reason," She explained, swallowing down her emotion." I would have called if I needed you. It turned out to be nothing. I wasn't going to have you rushing back to Alpha not even an hour after you'd left," She defended.

"You promised , Yekaterina! You swore you wouldn't push me away or leave me out of this."

"I'm not! I'm telling you now, Alexi! Stop it! Please? I don't want to fight with you. There was no reason for you to come back."

"I could have been with you!"

"And you would have alerted Uncle Saul and everyone else to the fact that you had to rush back here. And what then? More lies?"

Alexi shook his head.

"Kogda ty ne so mnoy , ya vsegda dumayu o tebe. I worry so much."

"This time you didn't have to. I wasn't going to put that on your shoulders for nothing. Besides, I didn't want you spending any more time out on a shuttle than you already had to. Not with what's been going on."

Katya's additional admission angered Alexi almost as much as her evasion had. He knew that she was worried about the recent cylon affliction but her concern was obviously taking a toll on her own health. Ever since the last attacks she'd been almost paranoid. When they weren't working she constantly hovered over him when it should have been the other way around. They'd even been spending all of their free time with Saul and Ellen just so she could keep an eye on them too.

"Katya, I am not an invalid," He reminded her harshly.

She winced at his tone.

"Neither am I," She whispered looking down at her lap.

They both took a few relenting breaths. Alexi didn't want to fight with her. He knew that he shouldn't. It was just that sometimes her strength unnerved him. Sometimes he thought that he needed her far more than she needed him.

"Fill me in then," He said with some concession in his voice. "Kak tvoyO zdorOv'e? What did Tawny say?"

"I told you everything is fine," Katya repeated. "She said it was probably because I was dehydrated…She said it could have also been stress related," She shrugged averting his eyes. "They gave me three rounds of fluids and I stayed overnight. I had another exam this morning. Tawny told me to rest. That's all. Please, Alexi, dovEr`sya mne. I wouldn't lie to you. She's coming here later to check on me. You can ask her yourself. Anything you want."

Alexi shut his eyes tight and nodded.

"Okay…Okay, myshka."

"Please lay down with me?" She pleaded, tugging at his arm. "I've been waiting for you."

She moved over making room for him and he finally slipped under the covers. When she turned on her side to face the wall he put his arms around her and kissed at the back of her head.

"Ya tebyA lyublyU, myshka," He whispered. "So much."

"I love you too," She told him as her tears returned.

"Shha. It's alright, Katya. I'm not mad anymore," He told her, squeezing her tightly in his arms.

"I know, Alexi."

"Then what's wrong?"

"I just can't stop thinking…" She cried without much sound to her voice. "This was never supposed to happen."

Alexi closed his eyes and felt them burn under his lids.

"But it did, Katya and we can only do our best to make sure it all turns out okay."

He was doing his damndest to comfort her but he knew it wasn't good enough. He wished he felt more confident himself. There were times he hoped that she would tell Saul and Ellen what was going on but most of the time he agreed with her. The Tighs had too much going on. It wasn't fair to distract them at such an important time. Alexi knew that their worrying would just cause Katya more stress anyway. With the outcome so uncertain he knew that the right thing was to hold off on burdening her parents for a while.

"Tawny said two more weeks," She told him with a bit of a sniffle as her tears started to subside.

Alexi nodded and nuzzled into her hair.

"We'll do what she says."

"I'm afraid we aren't doing the right thing."

"She said it's safest this way, Katya. I thought you agreed."

"I do. I'm just scared."

"Me too," He confessed between a trail of light kisses on her shoulder. "So promise me you won't go through any of it alone anymore."

Katya snuggled backward into his chest glad to feel his warm sturdy frame behind her. She was so tired. Her eyes were so heavy and despite her fear that her nightmares would return, she just wanted to sleep in his arms.

"I wasn't alone, Lex," She yawned.

"Hm?"

"I wasn't alone. Laura…she came and sat with me."

"Roslin?” Alexi lowered his brow, unsure if he had heard right. “She did?”

"Yeah."

"Don't tell me you called her?"

"Nyet, nyet. I wouldn't even think it," Katya shrugged in his arms. "She was in the ward too. She had an appointment which I'm glad of. Tawny's taking good care of her," She added between tempered breaths. "Once Tawny was sure that everything was fine she told me to get some sleep. I tried. I slept for a while but then…"

"You had a nightmare," Alexi finished for her.

He grimaced, hating that he hadn't been there with her. He wondered if the dreams that haunted her would ever go away. They were making everything so much more difficult.

"Laura said she overheard me crying through the partition. She woke me up. At first I was mad but then I was grateful. She left soon after that. Xao came to see me and honestly, I didn't even notice her leave…but then later last night she came back just to visit."

"That's sort of strange to hear."

They hadn't seen much of Laura Roslin since returning from Beta. There were casual meetings, hellos and goodbyes and minimal interactions with Saul and Ellen in the mix but nothing of any substance.

"I know," Katya agreed. "She seemed concerned."

"She doesn't know. Does she?"

"No, no. She asked but I got by without explaining too much."

"Good thing."

"She even brought Vladi to see me."

"What?" Alexi laughed in semi-disbelief.

" Vladi knew, Lex."

"He knew? How? "

"He just knew," Katya shrugged remembering her interaction with the sweet centurion.

Alexi shook his head and rolled his eyes. She could block herself against her own husband but a centurion could see right through her.

"I told Blaze last night, Kat," Alexi admitted softly. Katya stilled in his arms for a moment and then relaxed and nodded, "He said to give you this," He told her before leaning over and giving her a quick kiss on the cheek.

She smiled shakily as a few new tears rolled onto her pillow.

"Alright," Katya said as she exhaled. "Ellen is bringing Margot back to Alpha with her. I'll tell her tonight."

Alexi nodded against her neck.

"You're going to ask her, right?"

"Yeah…Yeah, Lex. I'll ask when she gets here."

"Good, Katya. You know she'll say yes."

"I know."

They were both confident that Margot would do whatever she could for them but it didn't make the weight of their request feel any lighter. Soon they would need all the help they could get from their loved ones. It was all the more reason they wanted to hold off on informing those whose attentions were desperately needed elsewhere at the moment.

"So tell me more about Roslin and Vladi," He teased trying to break up the heaviness in the air.

"Sweet Vladi. He only stayed a second and then I sent him back out to stand post but Laura…she stayed all night."

"All night?"

"Yeah, until morning. She read me a fucking bedtime story like I was a four-year-old."

"No way," Alexi snorted.

"She did. It was kinda nice though. Uncle Saul told me that the Admiral used to read to her when she was sick. I guess she wanted to do the same for me. I dunno. She has a nice voice. That was one thing I could never imagine when I was little; what she would sound like. It made me fall to sleep. I didn't wake up either. I slept all night and I didn't dream at all."

If the dreamless sleep was at all Laura's doing Alexi was eternally grateful to the woman. He couldn't remember the last time Katya had slept through the night.

"I have to say I'm shocked, Kat. I know you two have been relatively civil in passing since Beta but you haven't spoken much."

"I know. We talked a lot last night though. More than we ever have at least. It was strange. I just don't know what to think about her. She's trying…I can tell you that."

"That was very thoughtful of her to stay with you like that. I'm glad you weren't alone, myshka."

"Me too, I think," She said with another yawn.

"Sleep, Yekaterina."

"Lex, will you wake me when Ellen's back on station?" She mumbled into her pillow. "I miss her so much."

"She's only been gone a day and a half," He huffed.

" Please? "

"I will," He promised. "Just sleep."

"Lex?" She slurred again, this time only half awake.

"Hm?"

"My mom can project."

Alexi's eyes opened wide when he heard her dull sleepy words. He leaned up to look down upon his wife, waiting for some sort of follow up to the unexpected revelation but she was already asleep. He'd let her rest for now. She needed it.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 126B: ASSIGNMENT; ROSLIN/ADAMA

YEAR: 2315

When Bill returned to the cabin Laura was waiting for him. Over the last two weeks they'd gotten a lot better about utilizing their cuffs for communication. Though Bill was resistant he liked being able to contact Laura on his own at all times. He remembered all the times he'd picked up the phone on Galactica to grumble get me the president to some second party com operator. Sometimes he'd then have to go through Billy or Tory in order to finally get to her. It had taken them far too long to finally get a standing direct line. Now he could message her whenever he wanted with no one in between them.

"What happened to noon?" She chided with a smile as the hatch closed behind him.

Bill dropped his bag a few steps in. He returned Laura's grin when he saw her lying on the sofa with her book in hand. He chuckled to himself at how often he found her reading one of the two makeshift novels. She'd read them both at least twice cover to cover and once she'd found they were from Katya she'd gone to bed with one almost every night. The pages were dog-eared and crinkled, the binding was now weak and bent but Bill thought that they seemed to give her some sort of comfort as she held them and reread page after page.

"You're reading that thing again?" He teased as he made his way to the sofa. He dipped down to kiss her and then tapped at her ankles asking for some room. She gladly bent her knees to let him sit. "I thought you figured out how to use that literature library on the network," He said as he eased himself down on the cushions.

"I did," She shrugged. "I was just reading one chapter," She defended, hugging it against her chest.

Bill thought he saw her blush a bit. He wouldn't mock her sentiment any further. Her attachment to the books somewhat saddened him. He too had been touched by the news that his daughter had made the novels in preparation for their welcoming. It was just that lately Laura seemed to be replacing contact with Katya with objects she associated with her. He knew that she was still carrying around the strange little toy doll she'd come home from Katya’s cabin with. Though it tugged at his heart to see her grasping for meaning in the mementos he also found it rather adorable.

"It's 1420," Laura said with a raised brow "You told me noon. I had lunch without you," She informed him with a smirk as she reached to lay the book on the coffee table.

"That's alright," Bill sighed with a stretch. "I'm sorry we were late. We got held up on Beta and then Kaplan was waiting for me and Saul when we docked. Spent a little time talking to the commander," He explained, guiding her legs back across his lap.

"You're still trying to get him to let you enlist aren't you?" She accused but not unkindly.

Bill held his breath and then nodded.

"Yes. I am. And…he's agreed," Bill admitted. When he saw Laura's eyes flash with concern he rushed to explain, "Strictly advisory. He's graciously letting me keep my rank but it's just an honorary title. No real authority. I think the entire thing is just to appease me and shut me up but it will make me feel more useful while we figure everything else out."

Laura pressed her lips together and nodded. She wouldn't begrudge him that but she knew it would leave her on her own without much to contribute. She knew that it was selfish of her but she just wished he didn't want it so much.

"When?"

"He said they might swear me in before we go to Delta next week. It will all depend on what Ellen has to say when she gets back later."

Laura bit her lip.

"Has Saul heard from her?"

"Not much. At least not that he's shared. She's bringing Margot Le Blanc back with her though. They're supposed to update us all tonight. We've all been asked to meet at their cabin tonight after supper."

"I'm praying she has some good news for us."

"I'd do the same if I prayed," Bill said with a grunt. "Saul's on edge. He snaps every time anyone even insinuates that there's something wrong with him and the others."

"He and Ellen are these people's lifelines. He can't afford to seem incapacitated. He can't appear to be anything other than strong. You remember what that's like."

Bill let out something like a groan.

"So do you," He added.

Laura nodded in response.

"How are Karl and Sharon?"

"Better than you'd think. Helo's a little angry that we can't all stay together. I don't blame him. At least we had Saul and Ellen. They're on their own. Their son is staying aboard Beta though; at least while he's grounded. He's doing some flight scheduling for the station's patrol squadrons and spending his free time with them."

"They seem to have taken the news in stride," She observed somewhat bitterly.

"Athena certainly has. Helo is…confused but he's trying. That's all any of us can do. It helps that Blazer is so friendly and upbeat. He's being as patient and as helpful as he can."

Laura looked away and over at some vague point on the wall.

"Why's it so much easier for them?" She whispered.

Bill sighed.

"A lot of reasons, Laura," He answered softly. "How'd you do last night without me?" He asked running his hand up and down her leg trying to regain her attention. He'd worried all night knowing that she would likely suffer from her usual nightmares without him there to wake her. "I hated to leave you alone like that."

Laura bit her lip and looked back at the sweet concern on his face.

"I…wasn't alone last night, Bill."

For a moment he looked a little put off before he smiled.

"Did you finally invite one of those strapping young marines in?" He teased gesturing toward the hatch. "I knew I should have told Saul to replace them with bullet heads. I dunno what they feed these kids here," He joked making Laura giggle a bit.

"Stop it. Do you really think I'd admit that?" Laura went back at him. He feigned a look of hurt before he chuckled. "I didn't stay here last night. I stayed in the ward," She explained.

"Med Ward? Why? " Bill scowled, obviously concerned.

"I'm fine, Bill. I wasn't there for myself. Well, I was but that was just for an exam. I had forgotten all about it. Clean bill of health," She assured him with a palm up halting his worry. It eased the tension in his face for a moment. "But when I was there I saw Katya."

"Katya," Bill repeated.

"Yes. She was admitted. She said it was for dehydration."

Bill had just asked Saul about the captain. He'd heard about her recent change in duty which Saul assured him was only temporary. They hadn't seen her on the landing deck when they returned and the colonel said it meant she was probably in the control room.

"I just left Saul. He didn't say anything about her being there."

"That's because he doesn't know," Laura said suddenly leaning up. "She didn't tell Saul or Ellen and you can't either."

"What? Why?" Bill scowled.

"Because I promised her," She answered emphatically as she moved into a sitting position. "Katya said that she didn't want to worry them. I told her I wouldn't say anything. I assured her twice over. Please don't make a frakking liar out of me, Bill. Please? I gave her my word."

" Alright, alright , Laura. Relax."

Laura took a deep breath and nodded.

"I saw her briefly after my exam but when I came back here…I dunno. I felt awful knowing that she was there all by herself," She said shrugging and standing up.

"You went back to see her."

"Yes and I stayed the night. I didn't mean to. I just couldn't leave her after she fell to sleep," Laura ran both hands through her hair and started pacing in front of the couch. "I know she's usually so arrogant and brash but she looked so helpless last night," She told him as her eyes watered.

"Laura..."

Bill stood to join her. He reached out grasping her at the elbows, stilling her and holding her in place.

"Bill, I don't know how you ever…how you…" She couldn't finish the thought but the pain that flashed in his eyes told her that he knew that she was talking about Zak.

"It's alright, Laura," He said taking her in his arms. "I know. I know it hurts to see them hurt." Bill knew the feeling all too well. He knew it enough to help her through it as she learned the pain of a concerned and worried parent. "She's okay though, right? Just a little dehydration?"

Laura leaned back and palmed her forehead as she nodded.

"Yeah, I think," She said brushing over Tawny's peculiar visit that morning as well as the strange suspicion she'd begun to develop in her own gut. "I was there when the doctor said she was better."

Bill scratched at his head with his thumb.

"You know, Saul told me she's got a notoriously bad appetite. He said it's from some trial those frakking scientists put the kids through years ago. Apparently they did that sort of thing quite a bit before Saul and Ellen found out about the children. Experiments, studies," He explained with a regrettable sigh.

"Experiments?" Laura's eyes widened with a mix of concern and disgust, "What do you mean? What did they do to her?"

The thought of it made her stomach quiver. For weeks she'd been trying to comfort herself with the knowledge that her daughter seemed to have been loved and well cared for in her absence. Hearing that anyone had subjected Katya to something that could have harmed her stacked another heavy layer onto Laura's heap of doubt.

"He only told me about the one. They tried out some kind of an all supplement based diet on them. Went on for almost a year I think. It was something they were working on in case anything ever happened to Beta Station's grow-ops. Saul said once it was over the boys readjusted just fine but for some reason Katya and Margot never fully got their taste back for solids," He shrugged. "It's unfortunate but I think this sort of thing just happens to her sometimes, Laura. You remember that she fainted the first time we met her. She passed out, dropped right to the ground," Bill reminded.

"Yeah. Yeah, I remember," Laura winced as she recalled the first time she'd laid eyes on their daughter.

"It's a godsdamn shame that was done to them. It makes me sick to think about but the girls seem to handle it okay. They both look like fit and athletic young women. They're soldiers. They have to be," Bill assured her, "So how'd it go?"

"What?"

Laura's mind was stuck on the thought of someone using her child as a test subject. She figured that Katya couldn't have been more than five or six years old when the trial was conducted and already she was being taken advantage of by someone she trusted and loved.

"You and Katya," Bill clarified. "I find it kind of hard to believe she had no problem with you visiting let alone spending the night with her. You've hardly spoken."

"Well I guess she…tolerated me for the most part."

"I hate to say it but that's an improvement."

Though it was only a small step toward progression, Bill was glad to hear it. It seemed like his daughter was keeping her promise to pull herself together and quit looking for reasons to push them away.

"I think she just really didn't want to be alone last night," Laura said wringing her hands.

"Laura, does she seem like the kind of person who would keep someone around that she didn't want to be with just for company? She knows everyone on this damn station. She probably could have gotten any number of friends or colleagues to come visit if she wanted. If she allowed you to spend any time with her at all it was probably because she wanted to."

Laura let her shoulders fall.

"Maybe you're right, Bill. I just don't know," She said turning and walking into their bedroom as he followed on her heels. "I don't know where I stand with her. I don't think I ever will," She added making her way to their dresser and opening the top drawer. "I don't even frakking know where I stand with myself."

Bill watched her rummage through her bras and his socks until she gave up and shoved the drawer shut, moving to the one below it.

"You were there all night, Laura. Don't tell me that you two just sat there and tolerated each other," He challenged as he watched her slam the second drawer and move on to search the pockets of a sweater that hung on a nearby chair.

"No. We spoke," She answered as she threw the cardigan down with a huff and headed for the closet.

Bill narrowed his eyes watching her agitated hunt. He looked around at the mess she was making of the room and noticed the tiny matryoshka doll sitting on the shelf above their rack. On a hunch he walked over and picked it up. He palmed it as he headed to where she was now ransacking the closet. He reached out to gently touch her shoulder.

"Looking for this?" He asked once she turned to meet him.

Laura looked at the doll that he held between his fingers. Bill could tell she was embarrassed that he'd known exactly what she was searching for. She took it from him without a word and walked away. When he turned he found her sitting on the edge of the rack clutching the doll in one hand and running the other over her face. He joined her, sitting quietly by her side.

"Can I ask what you spoke about?" He probed.

Laura let out an audible sigh.

"I dunno. A few things. I brought that damned toaster to see her,” SHe said as she thumbed in the direction of the hatch.

"Vladi?" Bill smirked. “I thought Saul switched it out.”

“No.” Laura rolled her eyes. “That’s still him.”

“How can you tell?”

Laura ignored his question.

"His visit seemed to make her happy," She said shaking her head. "Happier than she was to see me. I took it as my security detail. She spoke with him for a few minutes. Don't ask me how but it seemed like an honest to gods conversation. Then she made him go stand guard. She invited me to stay though…not in so many words but she did."

"That all sounds encouraging to me," Bill observed while he watched her gaze down at the little doll. "What else?"

Laura paused as if she had to think, as if she hadn't been replaying the night over in her head all day.

"We talked about what's been going on. She's obviously very worried about Saul and Ellen and now that the Sergeant's been effected...I could have kicked myself for bringing it up. I heard the doctor telling her that she needed to relax. I upset her."

Laura wasn't ready to tell Bill about what else had gone on. A good part of their conversation had been about the projection they'd accidentally shared. She'd learned a lot about Katya as the young woman spoke of her own abilities. Laura just wasn't sure she was ready to have Bill learn about that part of herself.

"Of course she's upset about that, Laura. It's her husband and her parents. We're all worried about them. Don't blame yourself for that. She obviously let you stay. She wasn't upset with you. It's the situation."

"I know but I should have been more conscious of her care. I didn't even think about it."

Bill hated how brutal she was being on herself.

"You stayed after that. What then?" He asked doing his best to encourage her to continue.

Laura reached over to the rack shelf and placed the doll down. Squeezing it was starting to make her palm raw. She let out a long breath as she eased back into her place on the bed.

"She seemed so tired. Every time I offered to leave and let her rest she just told me that she wouldn't sleep in the ward. I know she didn't want to be alone. I almost felt like she was trying to keep me there. I don't know. Maybe I was just hoping that was the case. She told me that she's been having nightmares too. She didn't want to sleep."

Bill nodded.

"Saul and Ellen mentioned that back when she was recovering from her collision. I didn't know it was still going on."

Laura squinted at the bit of information. Katya had been having her nightmares for longer than she thought. That would mean they each started suffering from them around the same time.

"I know how awful that can be. I didn't want to leave her there alone with no one to wake her in case…" She trailed off and her eyes watered and spilled over within the span of two blinks, "She let me stay and read to her, Bill," She choked out with a sob.

Bill's heart swelled in his chest as he collected Laura in his arms. His own eyes welled as the image came to his mind. He'd read to Laura when she was sick and she'd done it for their daughter in turn. It sounded like things had gone exceptionally well. Laura was just overwhelmed and he didn't blame her.

"You brought the book?" He asked already knowing the probable answer. He felt her nodding against him. "That's good, Laura, that's good," He said softly trying to calm her.

"No, it isn't," She protested, leaning away from him and dabbing at her eyes with her fingers. "I managed to screw that up too. She fell asleep while I was reading and she just looked so…so…I mean I just couldn't leave her. I couldn't. I didn't want to and I couldn't make myself do it. I just wanted to hold her hand for a second but once I did I couldn't let go. I didn't mean to fall asleep. I can't imagine what she thought when she woke up and found me still there," Laura said wincing at her rambling explanation and avoiding the part about her own hellish nightmare.

Bill grimaced as he tried to comprehend everything she'd just said through her tears.

"Was she angry?"

"No," Laura answered wiping at the streams that fell down her cheeks, "She was actually sort of good about it. She didn't make me feel badly on purpose if that's what you mean but I know it was too much too soon. She didn't feel well this morning and I knew her patience with me was probably at its end. She got annoyed. She asked me to leave. I don't blame her. The doctor was about to come examine her. I overstayed my welcome."

"Laura, stop it ," Bill demanded with more than a hint of frustration. He couldn't stand listening as she continued to beat herself up. "Stop being so damn hard on yourself. She didn't feel well and she asked you to go. Fine. That doesn't negate anything that went on before that. You can't over analyze every little facial expression that girl makes. You'll never move forward. You comforted her last night, Laura and it seems like she was grateful. Can't you feel good about that?"

"I did! I did and then I came back here and I just started thinking," She said closing her eyes. "I hate that I almost preferred it last night when she fell to sleep. I could just sit there and look at her and hold on to her hand without worrying what she was thinking or if I was making her angry. I didn't have to constantly tell myself to watch my own temper over every rude little comment or catty roll of her eyes. It just felt so good to sit there and watch her sleep peacefully but I still…"

" Laura, I know it's a lot to take in, but listen to me. You got to be her mother last night. She let you, even if it was just for a while. I thought that's what you wanted. Yes, it's overwhelming but you seem so upset."

"That's just it, Bill. I know that I should be grateful for last night and part of me is," She started as she looked up at the ceiling and back down to her feet," But I just can't help being so frakking angry ."

"At her?"

"No. No, Bill not at her. At the fact that it was the first time I got to be anything close to a mother to my child. At the fact that she's already grown with her own baggage and her own life that I know so frakking little of. I'm angry at the frakking fact that she's twenty-two and I have to struggle so hard to build a relationship with her that should have started the moment she was born! I sat there holding her hand last night and even though it felt good it hurt like hell too because it reminded me that I'd never gotten to put my daughter to bed. I never got to read her a godsdamn bedtime story. I've never hugged her. I never kissed her goodnight or stayed up with her because she was sick or scared. I missed it. I missed everything ," Laura sobbed through the full force of her tears. The false memories and haunting dreams of her baby just weren't enough. The more she let herself think about it the more she felt a gnawing empty space inside of her that she knew would never be filled. "Bill, I will never get to know what it would have felt like to rock my baby to sleep and it’s killing me inside no matter how good it is to know her now. Katya's our daughter. I can accept that but…she was never our baby. She was never our little girl and I hate that. I hate it. It hurts so badly to look at her and know everything I lost out on and can't get back. I didn't think it would hit me like that. I was aware of all that I'd missed but I didn't truly feel it until last night, until I got a glimpse at what it would have been like. I had a baby that I never even got to hold!"

Bill pulled Laura forcefully back into his arms and clutched at her as she cried into his shoulder. Her confessions were like dull razors against his skin but he needed to let her get them out.

" We didn't even get to make her, Bill! Someone else did! They used us like tools! " Laura's cries were muffled by Bill's neck but the words hit him hard anyway. "I never imagined I'd have a child, certainly never with you. I couldn't let myself even ponder it. Now that it's real it just kills me to know that our baby was the result of a frakking bad idea and not because we loved each other. No matter how hard I try I just can't stop thinking about it. It's just breaking my heart that they may have used us but…we didn't make her."

Laura didn't think she'd ever cried so hard. She'd never let herself. Not even when she'd lost her family. She was the only comfort she had back then. She'd bottled it up. She'd made excuses for herself when her grief came out in strange and self-destructive ways. She'd had to. She couldn't afford to break down like this back then. Somehow now in Bill's arms she could.

"Yes we did, Laura."

Bill's voice was firm but low and Laura almost didn't hear him over her own sobs. When she continued to cry into his chest he took hold of her shoulders and put some space between them. Bracing her with one hand he lifted her chin with the other making her look at him. Her eyes were like desperate water lilies in a sad pond. Her face was wet and her lids were rimmed red. She looked devastated

"Did you hear me, Laura? Yes we did ," Bill repeated.

Laura could hardly bring herself to shake her head. She just swallowed and averted his eyes.

"Look at me," Bill insisted, squeezing at her shoulder until she gave him her eyes once again. "We did long ago. Every time we kissed, every precious time we were together. When we made each other laugh, when we fought, when we made up and when we pulled each other out of the darkness to fight another day. We did. We made her in a hundred different ways, Laura."

As Bill spoke the words he promised himself that he would make her believe them. He would make her understand it in some way. He had to.

"We were able to find our people a home because of the strength and the connection that grew between us. We couldn't have made it; we would never have gotten here without it. This civilization exists because we kept ours going. We did that together and these people are here because of that. They brought us back because of that and our daughter was created because of that. You'll never convince me that she isn't here because of our love and our bond. Never. I just won't see it any other way because to me nothing else could be true."

When Laura looked away again Bill softly brushed his thumb over her lips bringing her attentions back to him.

"I felt it, Laura. I felt it from the beginning. From Kobol and with every stolen kiss aboard your ship. Every time you smiled at me and I saw that look in your eyes that made me weak in the knees. I felt it every priceless night we spent together in my quarters, in my rack, on my damn desk, in the head. I felt that love. That's where she comes from. Not some sterile lab, from us. We made her," Bill affirmed with a new passion in his eyes as he inched his face closer to hers. "I felt it, Laura. I still feel it. I want you to feel it too," He told her as he leaned in to kiss her swollen lips.

She let him and she savored the taste of him on her tongue even after he broke their warm contact. His kiss was soothing and comforting. Soon Bill was easing her down against the mattress. She didn't even try to protest and when he leaned over her she was awaiting the comfort of his mouth again. His next kiss was long and tender. It warmed her shaking body from head to toe and she hated when she felt the room's cold air hit her lips once he pulled away. She felt his hand trail up her thigh and to her waist. He stopped there, undoing the buttons of her pants before gently sliding them down her legs that still hung over the bedside. Bill held his breath as he looked her up and down. Her eyes were still tearing but she was watching him with an expectancy that told him it was alright to go on. He unbuttoned his own shirt letting it fall to the side and then did the same with his belt. Laura was surprised when he ended there. He leaned over her once more; this time with his face low on her body and she could feel his warm breath heating the skin of her belly through her shirt.

"I won't lie to you, Laura," He started as his hand gently moved her blouse up to expose her navel. "I won't tell you that I wouldn't have loved to truly see you carry our baby," He admitted before trailing a few soft kisses low on her tummy. It made her breath hitch and her heart ache in an entirely new way and even so she didn't want him to stop touching her. "I know that it would have taken my breath away," He added as he moved his hand up along her rib cage, pushing her blouse high enough to expose the satin of her bra. He dragged his lips and nose softly up her body stopping when he got to the warm silky fabric. "I won't tell you that my heart wouldn't have been filled with joy watching you comfort and feed her," He told her as he undid the front clasp and then kissed and nibbled along the exposed swell of her breasts. The depth of his words and the feeling of his lips on her sensitive flesh gave her goosebumps. He gently helped her sit up to pull the blouse the rest of the way off and rid herself of the unclasped garment. When she lay back down he leaned over her again and his lips were hovering over hers. "I won't tell you that I don't wish that our baby could have come from a single memorable night," He confessed before taking in her bottom lip. He sucked at it lightly and as he did Laura thought that she might never breathe again."I can only tell you that I believe our child exists because of the love we share. I know it. I feel it," He said finally letting his body press against hers.

Laura arched up against him. Her tears hadn't stopped; they'd just taken on a different rhythm. Even so, she knew she needed this. Even more so, she wanted it. This time she knew that Bill wasn't doing it to help her forget. He was doing it to make sure that she always remembered. When she felt him pulling at the lacy fabric on her hip she went for his slacks and tugged them down along with his boxers. They fumbled for a few quick moments shedding the last bits of their clothing and then he was on top of her once more. She wrapped her legs around his waist encouraging his hips forward but he stilled over her.

"I feel it, Laura. I promise you that. I need you to tell me that you feel it too."

Bill hovered for a moment more looking into her eyes like he was searching their depths for her answer. Finally he moved into her, slow but firm as something between a sob and sigh escaped her lips.

"I do."

Bill gave Laura every bit of himself that he could. He gave her every ounce of his vitality and energy, every ounce of his love and adoration and she craved it all. She accepted it willingly, even hungrily. She welcomed it and she was eternally grateful for everything he inspired within her heart and body. In return she gave herself over to him. She endowed him with her trust, her vulnerability and answered his every touch and whisper of affection with one of her own. Their union was impassioned and warm. It was inspired by love, comfort and empathy. It was two souls in two bodies enrapture. It was everything their child's conception should have been. When it was over they offered one another their comforting arms and healing kisses as they lay in the bed they were slowly coming to think of as theirs. Their breathing had evened and their heartbeats had slowed but each knew the other's mind was still racing.

"Laura I want to ask you something and I don't want you to take it the wrong way," Bill said softly into Laura's tousled hair. Her head lay on his chest and as he found comfort in the familiar scent of her russet locks she was eased by the sound of his beating heart "There isn't a right or wrong answer. I want you to know that I won't judge you either way. It's something that I've had to ask myself."

"Say it, Bill."

He paused, trying to gather the nerve to speak the words.

"Do you wish that she hadn't been born?"

Laura flinched. She shut her eyes tightly and tried to get through the wrenching pain that the question had instantly caused.

She wasn't angry at Bill for asking. She just wished he didn't have to.

"No. I've never wished that," She told him in a smooth and surprisingly sure voice while she leaned up to see his reaction. "Not once," She added. She saw what she thought looked like relief in his eyes. "I guess that wasn't the answer you were expecting."

"I wasn't expecting anything. I asked because I didn't know."

Laura put her head back down and she didn't speak again until she picked up the drumming rhythm in his chest once more.

"I don't know why. It certainly would have made coming back so much easier. It's so strange too, because she could never have been here without what was done to us. I hate the thought of how this body was used…but I can't wish that away either because it's part of her. When you first told me I was so angry and confused and so godsdamn bitter but…as strange as it sounds, underneath all of that I suddenly felt like there was something for me here. Something besides a job to do. Even when I was sure that she and I would never speak again, even once she'd told me she wanted nothing to do with me…just knowing that she was here was enough to make me want to stick around. It didn't even matter if she hated me or how objectionable I found her personality to be. I just wanted to exist where she existed. Sometimes I think she's all that's kept me here. Sometimes I even think she saved me."

The admission made a sad sort of sense to Bill as he let it sink in.

"She waited for us for so long," He reminded with a kiss to the top of her head.

"You know it's crazy; I never wanted this. I never wanted to know what it would feel like to have a child. It scared me. That love, that bond just seemed too deep and too powerful. I was so sure that I could never handle it. And now it still scares me and I'm still not sure that I can handle it but…the little bit of it that I've felt, I could never wish away. It's been grueling and painful and heartbreaking but for some reason I'm grateful for it. I want it. No matter how hard it is and no matter how much it hurts I'm glad I know now. I could never wish her away, Bill."

Though he'd meant what he said about not judging her response he couldn't help being grateful for the answer she'd given him. He remembered what Saul had said about Katya being a second chance for all of them.

"Maybe we were waiting for her too," He suggested.

Laura sighed wondering if that were in any way true.

"As little as I know about her, I'm afraid that Katya is the only one who sometimes wishes none of it ever happened."

Bill winced.

"I've gotten that sense from her too," He admitted.

They'd each known their daughter for just two months. Their communications with her were strained and scattered and yet they were both able to perceive the dark guilt that Kayta carried within herself.

"That hurts," Laura said breathily.

"It does," Bill agreed.

"If I could just get her to stop thinking that way I would be able to feel like I'd actually been able to give her something."

"Maybe that's part of why we're here, Laura"

Laura nodded against his chest but her tears returned and her throat squelched with tension.

"Why couldn't it have been sooner?"

Bill felt her hot tears trickle onto the bare skin of his chest.

"Laura, I'm so sorry for what you've lost, for what we've lost. I don't think that pain is ever going to go away. I think that we just need to find a way to make it hurt less," He told her, tightening his arms around her body. He wanted to help her heal. He hoped that he'd already started to do so. There was just so much that Laura didn't want to let herself feel. He worried that her old habits would keep her in more pain than she needed to be. Bill put his hands to his sides freeing her. He inhaled deeply and watched as her head rose and fell with his lungs. "Laura I really feel like you should watch some of the lab footage from your records."

Laura froze and her stomach dropped at his suggestion.

"Bill, I can't," She said leaning up to face him again.

He could already see the fear in her eyes but he felt strongly enough about it to press the matter.

"I think it might help. I don't want you to watch her conception. I hope we both know now that's not the most important part of how she came to be."

At least in some way Laura believed it. Bill had helped her to feel it and it was beginning to take hold. She recalled Katya's story about the time Saul had showed her Galactica in a projection one day after a lab visit. Katya told her that Saul said he wanted to show her where she really came from. Now Laura realized Bill's sentiments had echoed just that. Saul understood it and accepted years before. He'd thought of it so strongly that he'd made it a point to attempt to instill it in their daughter. If Saul could grasp it, Laura knew she could too. The way Bill said it, the way he touched her and made love to her, she couldn't help but embrace it even if it was only on some symbolic spiritual level. It was all that they really had.

"I just think maybe if you could just see yourself…Laura, this body did something amazing," Bill said looking her over with something like awe in his eyes. "It grew a whole other person. I'm so sorry you'll never get to know what it felt like but if you could see yourself when you and your baby were as close as any two people can be, maybe it will help her feel more like yours. If you could watch her birth maybe it would help you understand how much you've already done for her."

Laura felt a chill run down her spine at the thought.

"Bill I…"

"I'd be by your side if you wanted me to," He said cutting her off. " I’d hold you hand...Like it should have been, like I would have been if we'd had the chance. I'm just asking you to consider it," Bill proposed. He'd seen it all. He felt like she should as well. When she nodded and bit her lip he took her agreement of consideration as a small victory. "But there's something else that I think that we should both do whether you decide to watch your lab logs or not."

"What's that?"

"I'm going to ask Saul to give us access to some of their pictures and videos from when Kat was a little girl," Bill watched Laura close her eyes like it would shield her mind from the thought of it. He knew she'd seen a few pictures of Katya as an infant and there was the one photo he'd shown her the first night he'd revealed her identity. Even so, there seemed to be a sort of disconnect for Laura. He felt like she was having trouble seeing one as the other. It was like she was mourning a baby she'd tragically lost and ignoring the child their daughter had once been. He felt like it could be part of what was stopping her from connecting to the grown woman they'd met. "Saul showed me some already. They have so many. They really did build their lives around her, Laura. Saul has pictures and videos from birthdays and ballet performances, school concerts. They even have access to the files that Isakoff had of her before her adoption; baby pictures, first steps, things like that. We may have missed it, Laura and you're right when you say that we'll never get it back. You're right to grieve the fact that we'll never truly know what it felt like to raise her together but we can see parts of it. We can see her growing and learning and witness a few precious milestones we'd otherwise just have to dream about. I think it's important. No matter how hard it might be, I think it can only help us know who she is. I think we deserve to give ourselves that. If we're ever going to attempt to really understand Katya then she deserves it too."

Laura didn't know if she could handle it. She wondered if seeing glimpses of the girl's childhood would only make it harder to know that she'd missed it all. She wasn't sure it would be worth the pain it would bring on but she also couldn't stop imagining all the things that Bill was talking about anyway. She constantly daydreamed about all of it, especially what Ellen had shown her in the lab. Ever since Katya confirmed it had been a shared projection she couldn't stop going over it in her head. Her tiny baby cooing all swaddled in a downy blanket. It seemed so real. She didn't dare try to recreate for herself. She didn't know how and she didn't know if she could. She wasn't even sure she wanted to but she so often found herself replaying the memory of it. Would seeing videos really be any harder than her constant fantasies?

"Maybe."

"It's something I want to do, personally, Laura. I'm going to ask Saul tonight. I know he'll be more than willing to share them. When you're ready I'll be here to watch with you." He watched as Laura looked down at the mattress and nodded. She wasn't crying anymore. He was glad of that. "C'mon Laura, lay back down. We'll rest for a while."

She eased herself back down by his side. She was so grateful to have him, to know the man that he was. She felt privileged to be loved by him and she was so thankful that he was the father of her child.

"Bill?"

"Hm?"

"Don't let me fall to sleep."

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 119B: ASSIGNMENT; TIGH

YEAR: 2315

"What time did you tell everyone to be here?" Ellen asked again as she ran both hands nervously through the crown of her hair and down through the ends of her curls.

"For the fifth frakking time, Ellen; 2300," Saul grumbled in his seat on the sofa while she paced around the cabin. He was fiddling with his cuff, attempting to set up the image screen so it would be ready when Blaze conferenced in with Sharon and Helo. "They'll all be here soon. Have another drink. You're too high strung."

She scoffed at him but then thought better of it and went to the beverage cart to pour herself a straight brandy.

"High strung? I'm stressed as frak, Saul," She said taking a long smooth sip.

He frowned looking back at where she stood.

"Just come sit with me for a second before everyone starts showing up," He requested, motioning for her to join him on the sofa. "C'mon, Ellen."

She relented and made her way over to him. She propped herself down by his side but wouldn't relax into the seat. Taking advantage of her rigid posture, Saul abandoned his work with the screen. He gently brushed her hair to the side and kissed along the top of her spine before beginning to rub at her tense shoulders. At first she seemed to be fighting it but soon her body relaxed under his touch.

"Thank you, Saul. That's nice," She said softly before taking another small sip that warmed her on its way down.

He hummed in response and kept working.

"Ellen, you'll just tell them the way you told me. Better yet, why don't you let Margot do most of the talking? She's got a gentle way about her. From what you've told me she seems at least minimally confident about her plan for the partial fix. Let her at 'em."

Ellen huffed and brought her drink to her lap.

"Saul, I can't just put it all on Margot. She’s just a kid."

"She’s an officer, Ellen. Where is she anyway?"

Ellen had arrived on Alpha just under two hours prior with Margot in tow. When she returned home she was already exhausted. She'd hardly slept on the basestar and the burden of sharing the new information with everyone was wearing at her. She could have used a day in between to decompress but there wasn't time for such luxuries anymore.

"When we landed I gave her some downtime. Told her to do whatever she wanted to until the meeting. She headed straight for the lab to see Sydra first."

"Young love," Saul mused as he worked his thumbs into Ellen's shoulder blades.

"Last message I got from her said that she was planning on going to Katya and Alexi's before she came here. I'm assuming the three of them will just come over together."

"Have you talked to her today?"

"Kit?"

"Yeah. I didn't see her on the flight deck."

"I messaged her to say I was back on board. She messaged back saying that I took too long," Ellen sighed. "I told her we'd see her later."

"She's worried."

"She's paranoid."

"Can you blame her?"

"No…I just wish she didn't have to be."

"Yeah, me too."

"Saul?"

He felt her muscles tense up even as she said his name and he had a hunch about what was coming next.

"What, Ellen?" He said hoping for the best.

"Have you noticed anything different about her lately?"

"This again?" He groused, stilling his hands on her back.

" Yes , this again," She said turning and pulling away from him.

"C'mon, Ellen. I've told you over and over; she's probably just upset about being grounded from flight duty. This is the longest she's been out of the cockpit since she got her wings. Maybe she's worried that her vision won't repair itself. Ya know, she could need a corrective procedure if it doesn't work itself out. Xoa said so,” Saul went on repeating the lie he’d been fed none the wiser. “I'm sure that's all it is. She hasn't flown in weeks. Now Blazer's grounded too. She probably feels like they're leaving Luna high and dry."

"I'm not just talking about the way she's acting. I don't now…She doesn't seem any different to you?"

"No. In fact she's been on her best behavior the last week or so. She's been edgy but she's worried about all of us. She's said it herself."

Ellen shook her head emphatically.

"There's something else."

"Like what?"

"You don't think she looks…different? Kind of…off?"

"What?" Saul scowled, "No. She looks fine. She's as beautiful as always. Pretty as a picture," He insisted.

"Oh, Saul, you'd say that about her if you were missing the other eye," Ellen said with a dismissive wave.

"So what? I'm allowed to think my little girl is just as gorgeous as her mother," He defended. "In this instance it happens to be true."

"Nice try, Saul. Flattery isn't going to shut me up."

"Well what do you want me to say, Ellen? I told you the truth. I don't see a difference in her. Should I lie?"

"It's little things. I'm just getting a vibe from her. I feel like she's always tired. Her energy is different. Have you noticed that she hardly has a cocktail before dinner anymore? I mean that's not our kid, Saul."

"Ha, I did notice. And I even know why," He challenged. "I asked her about it."

"You did?" Ellen said with a doubtful squint.

"Yes, I did," Saul affirmed. "Since her collision she's been more sedentary. Hasn't been able to do what she used to in the gym. She thought she was losing muscle and putting on weight. Alexi told her to cut out the empty calories starting with the booze. He even helped her change her gym routine. She says she's lost some core strength and she wants to get it back. We talked all about it a few days ago. She has enough trouble trying to force herself to eat right. She's just trying not to take up space with junk," He said confidently, totally unaware of the falsity of the explanation he’d been given by his daughter.

Ellen arched her brow looking completely skeptical. She'd asked Katya ten times over and she'd never said a thing of the sort. If it was as simple as that why wouldn't she just say so?

"Even still," She said standing up and knocking back the rest of her drink.

She sat the empty glass down rather forcefully on the coffee table and walked away.

"Ellen, if there was something else wrong you would know," Saul said standing up to follow her.

He almost jumped when she quickly whipped around to face him.

"I do know, Saul. I just don't know what ," She insisted wagging a finger at him.

"I think you're the one who's being paranoid, Ellen. You think she'd really keep something of any importance from you? Do you really think she'd even be able to? You two have so many co-dependency issues, you can hardly visit the frakkin’ head without letting each other know about it," He chided.

Ellen crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes at him.

"That's a real nice way to talk about you wife and daughter," She said before turning and making her way toward their bedroom.

"Ellen, I'm just teasing. You know that," He called after as he followed.

When he entered the room she was checking her makeup in a mirror that hung over their dresser.

"I don't need to be teased right now, Saul," She bit without looking at him.

"She's a grown woman, Ellen," He told her reflection with an exaggerated shrug. "You can bug her all you want but if she's really keeping anything from us maybe she has her reasons. Let her husband deal with it. They've been married for almost eight months now. They need to start handling their problems on their own."

Ellen paused in the mirror and pressed her lips together.

"He's acting strange too," She said glancing back at him.

" Oh for frak sake, Ellen!"

"Well he is!"

Ellen took a few paces toward Saul and stood with her hands on her hips as he shook his head.

"We have enough to worry about with you creating imaginary problems."

"You think I don't know my own daughter?"

"Good gods, Ellen," He groused, rolling his eye.

"You know what, Saul? Just forget it," She said walking passed him. "I'll handle it on my own," She added as she passed through the doorway.

"Handle what?!" He shouted at her before following her out. "C'mon, Ellen don't do this to yourself," Saul did his best to use a more sympathetic tone. While he thought that she was overreacting he really didn't want to make things worse. People would be arriving soon and they didn't need to walk into any Tigh tension. He caught up to her and reached out to put his hands on her shoulders. He looked into her eyes hating that he could see genuine worry within them. "Look, if it makes you feel better…I'll… I'll ask Alexi…man to man. See if he gives anything up. Will that help?"

"Yes," She said matter-of-factly.

"Fine," Saul relented, dropping his hands from her. "Consider it done but I'm telling you, he's only going to say the same. It's all because of what's going on. Think about it. Bill and Laura come back, she gets into an accident that takes her out of commission indefinitely and then her whole family starts…well…you know," He sighed. "This isn't an easy time for anyone and of course you're concern is going to center around Katya. It's only natural."

Ellen bit at her lip and pinched at the bridge of her nose. Her instincts had been telling her something was wrong for weeks now. She hated that whenever she tried to read Katya she could tell she was being intentionally blocked from doing so. Something just didn't seem right. Still, what Saul was saying made sense. Things were piling up. Her focus was the big picture now. There were so many issues getting in the way of her goals. She supposed she was feeling a little guilty about giving Katya less attention. The girl had been the center of her world for so long and she liked it that way. She considered the possibility that she was looking for problems just to have an excuse to dote on her.

"Maybe…"

Saul felt a little at ease with her fraction of a concession but he knew it was probably temporary.

"She's with us all the time, Ellen. Heck she's been spending even more time here than usual. Now that she's not flying I see her on duty more. We have dinner with her almost every night. She's not exactly avoiding us. It's not like we can't keep an eye on her. At least comfort yourself in that."

"You're right," She said dropping her arms to her sides. Saul feigned a look of shock. "What?"

"Nothing," He smirked, "I just hear that from you about once a century."

"Very funny."

Saul took a few steps toward her closing the space between them and taking her into his arms. He gave her a kiss on the cheek and then leaned in to give her two more on the side of her neck. She gladly tilted her head to give him better access.

"Have I ever told you that you're sexy when you worry?" He teased. She nearly snorted and rolled her eyes at his lame attempt at calming her. He even had to laugh at it himself as he leaned away. "Just a word of advice while I'm on a role, Ellen; be careful in how you approach Katya. If she is keeping something from us, no matter how small it might be, she'll get stubborn if you try and pry too hard. She'll wind up withholding whatever it might be just for spite," He warned.

"That's the truth," She said with a sigh.

"Hey what do ya know? I got another one," Saul winked. "Let her come to you. You know she's never been shy in asking you for help. When she needs you she'll let you know."

Ellen nodded

They were both surprised to hear a knock at the hatch.

"Someone's early," Saul said looking at his cuff and making his way to the entrance.

He hardly made it halfway before the hatch opened and Margot let herself in. They'd given all the kids clearance to their cabin long ago and it wasn't unusual for any of them to enter on their own as long as they were expected.

"Specialist," Saul greeted.

"Sir," Margot nodded averting his eye and gunning for the drink cart.

"Guess you're nervous too?" He chuckled after her.

"Huh?" She barely answered as she poured herself a half glass of the first bottle she found.

Saul shook his head and went back to working on the image screen.

"You're early," Ellen said to Margot's back.

She was downing her drink already without having even turned around. When she was done she set her glass on the cart and cleared her throat.

"Yeah," She said finally turning to face, Ellen. "I figured you might want me here a bit before everyone else. Just to make sure we have our story straight," She feebly joked as she looked down at her boots.

Ellen narrowed her eyes. Something was strange about Margot's demeanor. She'd yet to even make eye contact with her.

"Where are Katya and Alexi? I thought you were with them," Ellen prodded.

"I was. I was just there. Kaplan stopped by. He's still over there talking to them. I thought you might need me so I excused myself," Margot explained with a shrug.

"What did he stop there for?"

"I dunno. Alpha business. I got my Delta butt out of there. He showed up right as I was about to leave anyway," The girl said walking toward to couch to join Saul, "You need some help there, Colonel?" She asked as she saw him struggling with the image screen menu.

"Gods, yes. You should be able to do this in your sleep, Specialist. Have at it."

"What's their Beta extension?" She asked leaning over to view Saul's cuff.

"Margot look at me," Ellen interrupted from behind her.

"Hold on, Ellen. I'm doing something."

" Look at me, Margot, " Ellen repeated sternly crossing her arms and moving closer.

Saul scowled over at his wife wondering what the hell her tone was about. With a huff Margot turned around and faced the other women.

"What?"

Ellen looked at Margot's eyes and saw that they were red. Her nose and cheeks had a bit of pink to them as well. She was almost sure that the alcohol couldn't have been to blame just yet.

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing," Margot said feigning confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"You look upset."

"Ellen, leave her alone," Saul groaned getting up to pour himself a drink.

He was fed up with her meddling. She ignored him as he left them for the beverage cart.

"I'm not," Margot shrugged with forced prim smile.

"Looks like you were crying. Did something happen with Sydra?"

"Stay out of it, Ellen!" Saul called from across the room.

Though Margot was grateful for his attempt at assistance neither woman paid him much mind.

"No. She's fine. We're fine," She insisted.

"Then did something happen at Katya's?" Ellen tested.

She knew that was where she'd just come from and by the looks of it she'd left the cabin with something on her mind.

"No," Margot lied.

She should have just told Ellen she had a fight with Sydra. It would have made everything easier. She wasn't thinking clearly. She was still in a bit of shock.

"Are you sure?" Ellen pressed.

Margot could tell that Ellen was suspicious and she cursed herself for not waiting a few more minutes before she came in. She did her best to block their connection, steeling herself against any possible evasion from the other cylon women.

"I'm positive," She nodded. "Everything was good when I left them. I um, got a call from Mom on the way here. We spoke for a sec. She managed to piss me off in less than three minutes. Maybe I got a little flustered. You know she's not conferencing in tonight, right? She wants you and I to go over things with her alone tomorrow," She added hoping to throw Ellen off.

She knew that bringing up her mother's inconvenient request would irritate Ellen and it would at least serve as a minimal distraction.

"Yeah," Ellen rolled her eyes. "She messaged me. What the frak is so important that she can't just call in tonight?"

"Beats me. Maybe she's got a hot date," Margot shrugged.

"Your mother needs a hot date, Margot. Might put her in a better mood," Ellen scoffed. "Well, we'll do it in the morning before you head back to Delta. I'd rather have you with me. Let's not wait until you get back there."

"Sounds good to me," Margot agreed.

Ellen looked her up and down. Whatever distress she'd been under had faded rather quickly. She would drop it for now.

"Since you're here on official duty I got you a cabin in our visitor's quarters," Ellen said deciding to ease up on her. "You're welcome to stay here of course and I'm sure Kat would love to have you as usual but I figured you might like some privacy. I know Sydra stays in the officer's barracks. You two could take advantage of a room with a door for once. Unless an audience is your thing, that is," She teased.

Saul walked by, drink in hand and shaking his head.

"Mind you own damn business, Ellen," He grumbled as he took his seat back on the sofa.

Margot laughed at the both of them. They were quite the pair. As strange as they were she really did envy Katya sometimes. At least they genuinely cared.

"Thank you, Ellen. I actually really appreciate that," She said with a smile.

"Well you've been such a help. A lifesaver, really. I'm proud of you, Margot. I wish I could do more for you than that."

"Just doing my job. Thanks again for setting the room up though, really."

Ellen nodded and then winced when she heard another knock at the door.

"You ready for this?" She asked the young woman.

"Guess so."

"Just remember what we talked about," Ellen said dropping her voice to a near whisper hoping Saul wouldn't hear. "Keep your extra little theory to yourself for now. We only talk about what we know for sure."

"Yes, Ma'am. I agree."

"Alright," Ellen said with a sigh. She looked over at Saul who was trying to set up the screen yet again. "Finish helping him with that, will you? He's a frakking machine and he can't work a damn screen menu," She muttered under her breath.

Margot giggled and rejoined the colonel's side as Ellen made her way to the door.

"Bill, Laura," Ellen said loud enough to alert Saul to the presence of their visitors.

Like she'd hoped, he popped out of his seat to meet his guests.

"Hey you two. C'mon in," He greeted happily.

As they said their hellos and made their way in Margot stood to join them.

"Specialist," Bill greeted her with a warm smile.

"Admiral."

"Hello, Margot," Laura smiled.

"Ms. Roslin."

"It's good to see you again," Laura started. They hadn't seen the specialist since the Beta download when she'd suffered from her first cylon episode. "I hope you're feeling better."

"Oh I'm fine. It's really only a momentary thing. We're all fine as long as…well…"

"Ya know…" Ellen interrupted with forced smile, "We're going to talk about that just as soon as everyone gets here. For now why don't you all settle in and grab a drink. We'll be right back. Saul join me in the bedroom for a moment?" She requested.

"We'll be right with you," Saul assured his guests. "Margot, get the door if anyone comes," He instructed following his wife to their room.

They all stood in a semi uncomfortable silence as the Tighs took off but it only lasted a moment before Margot sweetly intervened.

“I’m glad to see you both. I have something I wanted to speak to you two about," She informed them cheerfully clasping her hands together.

"What's that, Specialist?" Bill asked.

"Pyramid."

"Pyramid," Laura repeated with a bit of a laugh.

"Yes. The Colonel told me that it was the biggest pastime there was in the Colonies. He's also told me that my father…uh...that is, he told me Sam Anders was pro."

"That's right,” Laura affirmed. “Caprica City Buccaneers. He was captain.”  Bill rolled his eyes and she gave him a nudging elbow to his side. "You’ll have to excuse the Admiral, Margot. Bill was a Picon Panthers fan. No taste," She teased.

Bill just chuckled at her jibe. Though their entire interaction was mostly to humor the thoughtful young lady in front of them he was honestly happy just to hear the name of the game. They spoke so little of their old lives back on the Colonies. Sometimes it was nice to be reminded it was ever even real.

"What is it that you want to know, Specialist?" He asked.

"Well, everything, I guess. I mean whatever you can tell me," Margot shrugged." But most importantly right now I'm interested in the correct circumference of the ball."

"The ball?" Bill asked furrowing his brow. "Why's that?"

Margot bit her lip, a little embarrassed to be sharing her plans with them. She still felt so out of place being the only child not born to a former couple. She knew any excitement or preparation on her part probably seemed foolish to them. It wasn't as if she expected to be received well by her birth parents. She just wanted to be able to tell herself that she'd done her best to be open and accepting of them.

"It's just that, I helped Katya get your cabin ready," She started to explain. "The Cap seemed so prepared. I know she had the Tighs to help but it kind of made me feel bad that I haven't personally done anything for my…for uh, Sam or D'Anna. I can't even begin to think of what I would do for her but I thought that I could maybe get a ball printed up for him."

Laura smiled at the sweet notion.

"I think that's a lovely and very considerate idea, Margot."

Though Laura was still uneasy with the notion of tearing people's souls from the great beyond she thought that it was rather cute that Katya's gesture had inspired her friend.

"Thanks, Ms. Roslin. Colonel Tigh said that he was having trouble recalling the rules of the game and he didn't know the exact size of the ball. The best he could say was that it looked like a small melon. I had a few sent here to the cabin; special delivery from the Beta greenhouses just so he could pick out the closest size but…he and Alexi just ate them," Margot shrugged and rolled her eyes causing both Bill and Laura to chuckle. "He said I might have better luck with you two."

" You didn't tell me that's what they were for beforehand ," Saul's voice came grumbling in defense from behind Margot as he rejoined the laughing group.

"I told Kat. She said she told you," Margot argued.

The Colonel grimaced in return.

"I'm afraid the Specialist is right. You live this long and you start forgetting things that used to be common knowledge. The game’s a distant memory to me now."

Bill nodded with sort of a sad smile. He kept forgetting just how long Saul and Ellen had lived, even before he knew them. Back on Caprica they would watch pyramid games together all the time at bars and pubs. They'd get loaded, make bets against each other, yell at the screens and have a great time. Now the couple had lived so long they couldn't even remember the rules to their favorite game. It gave Bill a sort of melancholy feeling as he looked back at his old friend. He cleared his throat quelling the emotion.

"Well I think between all of us we should be able to fill you in, Specialist," He assured her. "I'm just not sure about the exact dimensions of that ball."

"Don't look at me," Laura said with her palms up. "I was in college the last time I even touched one and I wasn't any good."

"You know what, Specialist?" Bill said rubbing his chin. "I bet I know who could tell us. Saul, can we get Helo on this?"

"Good call," The Colonel agreed. "Speaking of that, Margot why don't you go sit down with Ms. Roslin and the Admiral and see if Lt. Bishop is ready on his end. If you can get the feed up before everyone else gets here you might have some time to talk sports with  Capt. Agathon."

"Yes, Sir," She nodded happily before heading back toward the sitting area.

"You two go take a load off," Saul said encouraging them to join Margot. There was another knock and Saul's attentions were pulled in the direction of the hatch. "Sit, I'll bring you both a drink in just a moment," He assured them while they went and took their seats.

For the second time that night the hatch opened before Saul could even reach it. For a moment he cynically wondered why the kids even bothered to knock. Then he remembered that he and Ellen had given each one of them a pretty good reason at one time or another.

"Sergeant," Saul greeted his son-in law before noticing who was behind him, "Commander," He abruptly saluted Kaplan and cleared his throat loudly in Margot's direction alerting her to do the same.

She barely stood before Kaplan stopped her.

"As you were, Specialist, Colonel," Kaplan instructed. "This is family business tonight, don't you think?" He mused.

"That's one way of looking at it," Saul shrugged.

"Kit?! Baby?!" Ellen called as she walked in from the bedroom.

She'd heard the knock at the door and she was hoping it was Katya. After a day and a half away she was more than anxious to see her.

Ellen’s calls for the girl made Laura perk up in her seat. She hadn't expected to see Katya at all. She knew that she was supposed to be on some kind of bed rest all day. Even so she couldn't help get her hopes up for a second. When she turned and didn't see her she settled back into her chair with a small sigh and blushed when she saw that Bill noticed her disappointment.

"No, sorry, Ellen," Kaplan greeted. "Unfortunately it's just us," He teased.

"Hello, Commander," She said with as big of a smile as she could muster through her chagrin, "Lex," She said quickly turning to the Sergeant. "Where is Katya?"

"Good to see you too, Ellen," He mocked. "And she's not coming tonight."

"What? Why not? I thought you were all just together?"

"We were, Ellen," Kaplan interrupted. "I've excused Captain Isakoff tonight. She's working on a special project for me."

Alexi let out his breath thankful that the commander had thought enough to come see them before the meeting. It had given them all a chance to regroup and catch up. He knew with the help of Kaplan's excuse Katya's absence wouldn't be questioned nearly as much.

"What kind of special project?" Saul asked, surprised that this was the first he was hearing about it.

"Classified, Colonel," Kaplan said reluctantly. "At least for now, that is. She'll be able to fill you in soon, I assure you," He answered Saul as truthfully as he could.

Though Saul couldn't help but wonder he accepted the answer with a dutiful nod and attempted a change in the subject with a gesture toward the booze. The commander nodded after him.

"So she's not coming at all?" Ellen clarified.

"Ellen," Margot called as she stood from her seat," I filled her in while I was there. She's already briefed on everything she needs to know. It's fine."

Ellen shot the specialist an irritated glance before turning back to Alexi.

"Why didn't she let me know?"

The sergeant kept his signature blank stare painted on his face.

"I just sprung it on her, Ellen," The commander answered again. "My fault. It was important that she get this done."

Alexi knew Kaplan had done enough for them for one night. He needed to get Ellen's focus off of him no matter how much he hated to bear the brunt of it.

"She's working out of the cabin," He said gaining her attention and allowing the older man to walk off and join Col. Tigh by the beverage cart. "She wants you to come by as soon as we wrap up here. I know you're probably tired from your trip but she really wants to see you. Just pop in and show her that you made it back in one piece? You know how worried she's been," He added hoping it would turn the tables a bit.

Ellen inhaled deeply and let it out with a bit of frustration.

"Yeah, of course."

As she worked on the screen controls from her seat on the sofa Margot glanced toward Alexi. Ellen had pulled him off to the side and they now seemed to be murmuring back and forth in hushed tones. Margot felt strange suddenly being in the know. She'd hardly had time to process what Katya had shared with her and now she was trying to keep track of who knew what and who was still clueless. She wished like hell that she didn't even have to be there. Never mind the tension, she'd just wanted to stay with Katya a while longer. She wanted to talk more, ask more questions and give her another hug. Her friend had just bestowed an enormous amount of faith in her. She was happy to be of help to both Katya and Alexi. She was honored they trusted and loved her enough to come to her. She just wished they'd had more time to absorb it all together. After their talk the last thing she was interested in was leaving her friend to hold court with Ellen. Margot sighed heavily and leaned back into her seat only to notice Laura Roslin staring at her. She smiled politely but nervously in response.

"Something wrong, Ma'am?"

Laura turned, looking back at Ellen cornering Alexi and then at Saul and Kaplan still busy fixing drinks. Deciding they were all sufficiently busy she gave her attentions back to Margot.

"You were just with her?" Laura asked.

Bill's hand came to rest on her thigh. She wasn't sure if he was attempting to stop her questioning or if it was just a sign of affection. She didn't care either way. She'd been worried about Katya all day and she just wanted to know how she was.

"Excuse me?" Margot said buying time.

The anxious look in Roslin’s eyes was unsettling. Katya had told Margot all about their evening together. She knew that Roslin had spent the night in the ward with the captain without knowing why she was truly there. Katya had even told Margot about the little projection incident she and her birth mom had shared together. Margot had a feeling that Roslin was getting ready to ask about her daughter's well being but she wasn't going to answer any questions, even seemingly benign ones. She was under strict instruction to play dumb, evade and distract until further notice.

"The Captain," Laura reiterated. "You were just with Katya."

"Yes, Ma'am."

"How is she?"

Laura knew that the commander's excuse of her absence was probably bogus. She'd heard Tawny instructing her to rest and lay off work for the day. Though she hadn't expected to see her at the meeting she at least thought she might find out how she was.

"She's fine, Ma'am," Margot answered with a dismissive shrug.

Laura tilted her head at the girl.

"How's she feeling? How does she look?" She asked rather intently.

"Ease up, Laura," Bill cautioned with a whisper in her ear but she didn't listen.

"How was she acting?"

Margot swiftly considered her options. She could play dumb but she wouldn't insult Roslin's intelligence by pretending as though she didn't know what she was talking about.

"How was the beach, Ms. Roslin?" Margot answered with a cool sly smirk.

When Roslin's eyes flashed with minor panic and her mouth dropped partly open the specialist relaxed back into her seat confident that she'd stopped the woman’s inquisition in its tracks.

"The beach?" Bill asked with a confused smile.

Laura clenched her teeth and had to stop herself from glaring at the young officer. She shook her head at Bill and shrugged it off, relieved when he dropped it. Margot's biting evasion was the first glimmer of D'Anna that Laura had seen in the girl's usually sweet personality. With the already striking physical resemblance it was just a little too close to the real thing and it gave Laura a bit of a chill recalling her interactions with the Three. She understood the specialist's message perfectly and she wouldn't ask her again. Exhaling, she leaned back into the cushion of her seat, somewhat disheartened.

When Saul reached over Laura's shoulder and offered her a glass she forced a smile of thanks in return. It was so strange to see the Colonel and Ellen being lied to while she and Bill knew the truth, at least in part. She looked over again to see that Ellen and the sergeant had finished whatever quiet discussion they were having. Laura decided that he was the key.  If she was going to get any kind of news on Katya's condition she would need to find a way to get Alexi by himself.

"Hello?" A voice came from nowhere. "Hello? Is this thing on?" It spoke again before the wall in the sitting area flickered on to display a far too close up view of Blazer’s face.

"Back up, idiot!" Margot laughed.

"Turn it off," Alexi shouted, walking up in view of the screen. "It's hideous!" He heckled his friend causing Margot to bend over in her seat with laughter.

"I can't see you guys," The pilot said tapping obnoxiously on his lens. "Your visual isn't up. All I hear is the voice of a big dumb marine ," He said going back at Alexi.

"I'm fixing it, hold on," Margot assured him trying to stop her laughter. "Just back up. Seriously. I can see your nose hair."

"No. Maybe the view will encourage you to work faster, Specialist Le Blanc," Blazer chided, pushing his face up so it was even larger on screen.

"No really, Blazer back…"

A short whistle from the commander halted Margot's warning and she looked over to where he and the colonel were standing out of view. Kaplan motioned for Margot to hold off turning on the video feed. He walked up to the receiving lens motioning for Saul to join him. Once they were each in place the commander gave Margot the okay. When she turned it on there was about a five second delay before they all watched Blaze, shoot backwards and nearly fall out of his seat as he shot to attention.

"Commander! Colonel!" He said clearing his throat with a nervous salute. "I apologize. I wasn't aware you were, uh, in attendance quite yet," He stammered as both bald men stared him down through the screen.

After a few long moments that were utterly painful for Blaze and completely hilarious for Alexi and Margot, Kaplan finally cracked a smile.

"At ease, L.T. Good to see you," The commander told him, "We miss you here on Alpha…sort of," He added before nodding and turning to take a seat by Bill who was finding the display quite humorous.

Saul stayed in place grimacing at Blaze.

"Quit fooling around, bone head."

"Sir, yes, Sir. I'm sorry, Sir."

"We've got a full house here. No one wants to see up your frakkin' nose," The colonel reprimanded, backing up and letting the lieutenant view the rest of the guests in the room.

Blaze's face turned a few shades of red when he saw Bill, Laura and then Ellen with various levels of amusement on their faces.

"My apologizes to the room," He said again." Admiral, always good to see you. Mrs. Tigh, Ms. Roslin, looking lovely as always.  Sergeant Petrov, Specialist Le Blanc, don't you think it would have been helpful to inform me that everyone had already arrived ?" He said through his teeth.

"That wouldn't have been any fun," Margot answered plainly, getting a chuckle and nod of agreement from the sergeant

.

"Everyone please excuse my so called friends. They don't seem to have my best interests in mind," Blaze said eyeing Margot and Alexi who both looked very pleased with the situation.

"Lieutenant, are the Agathons with you?" Saul gruffly interrupted running out of patience.

"Uh, yes, Sir. They're waiting in the next room."

"Good. Shut up and go get them."

"Yes, Sir," Blaze nodded as Saul walked out of frame. "Hey, Serge, how's my Koshka doing? I don't see her."

Blazer had been thinking of Katya all day. He hesitated to message her directly. He didn't know if Alexi had let her know about their talk the night before. He wanted to come home, if only for a day. Just to be able to give her the kiss on the cheek that he'd sent home with Alexi for himself. He was still stunned but as always he carried on with humor.

"She's fine, Blaze. She's working," Alexi said with a small appreciative nod hoping to reassure their friend quickly and get the focus off of his wife. He could see both Ellen and Laura watching him out of the corner of his vision. "She's going to be mad she missed this. You know how she loves watching you make a fool out of yourself," He added with a short chuckle.

"Let her watch the recording later tonight," Blaze suggested with an eye roll.

" Now, L.T !" Saul shouted again.

"10-4, Colonel!" Blazer answered, leaving his seat to retrieve Karl and Sharon.

Ellen and Margot were calm and concise as they explained what they'd learned during their trip to the basestar. Now that he'd been briefed Kaplan would officially let their military factions know the theory behind the strange signal that was affecting their precious cylon guardians. Margot was confident that she could come up with safeguards for the basestar and protect the raiders and centurions rather quickly. Her assurance assuaged much of the worry within the room but Helo was angry and outspoken when Ellen admitted there was nothing Margot could do to help the humanoid cylons or hybrids so far. He'd watched his wife and son suffer during the last attacks and he wasn't looking forward to witnessing it again.

"We're all upset, Karl," Ellen had defended. "Sharon, Blaze, until we have more information you'll just have to keep on your toes like the rest of us. I promise we are working on it."

They briefly touched on the fact that the signal seemed to be gaining strength with each attack. They confirmed that the signal emission surrounded the entire planet by the atmosphere line and spiked into Orbit before attacks.

Ellen and Margot had agreed not to get into that part of it if they could help it. They didn't want it to lead into what Margot was almost sure would happen if the transmission continued to intensify. In Orbit cylon roots ran deep. Ellen hadn't even shared that part with Saul yet. It was still just hypothetical. They didn't want to put it into anyone's heads. They didn't want rumors to spread or mass panic to occur. They were banking on finding a fix before it could become a reality. Toward the end of the briefing Ellen announced her tentative date for the Delta download. If Margot could put her safeguards in place by the end of the week they would head Delta Station by the weekend. Sam and D'Anna would be resurrected as soon as possible. What Ellen didn't share was what she and Saul had agreed upon during their little conference in the bedroom before the meeting. They'd decided to make it so Bill, Laura, Sharon and Helo would all be allowed to attend the download. At the last minute before the briefing Ellen asked Saul to hold off on telling them. She didn't want to have to deal with their complaints if it turned out not to be possible after all. They would let them know soon enough.

When things started to wind down Margot took her seat as did Ellen, leaving the floor open for questions and concerns. Both women thought there would be more. No one knew what to ask. They just knew their safety was in the cylon women's hands.

"I'd like to visit Beta next," Laura surprised Bill and the rest of the room with her request.

Saul, Ellen and Bill had just figured they would be the ones alternately checking in on the Agathons.

"Uh, I guess that would be alright," Ellen had shrugged, not caring much one way or the other."We could have a shuttle escort you the day after next."

"I'd like that. If it's alright, Sharon, I have some things I want to discuss with you."

Laura was sure that the statement would arouse some curiosity but she didn't care. She'd been thinking about her dreams and about Katya's too. A thought had occurred to her at one point during the day. She remembered what she and Sharon had experienced together so long ago. She once shared such powerful and profound visions with the cylon woman. She wanted to find out if perhaps it was happening again. Sharon seemed a little surprised by her request but Helo was welcoming.

"We'd love to have you," He'd encouraged. "The L.T here has been a big help to us but it's a little lonely on Beta all by ourselves."

Soon Kaplan excused himself bidding everyone goodbye and assuring Ellen that he would handle the military end of things.

Once business was taken care of Bill had tried his best to get in some small talk with Helo and Athena. He felt for his former pilots, miles away and all alone. When he brought up Margot's interest in pyramid it was Sharon who was able to give her the exact circumference of the ball. She admitted that it was information she'd uploaded when she'd first been charged with luring in Helo back on cylon occupied Caprica. Karl was helpful with the some of the history of the sport. He and Bill told Margot about the rules, the teams and their high altitude training practices. Saul joined in when he could, remembering things as they came to him. It felt good to talk sports with his old shipmates. It helped his memory to feel a bit refreshed.

"You're an engineer, right Specialist?" Helo had asked Margot.

"Yes, Sir."

"Well if you're any good with electronics how about I do you one better? You come visit us here on Beta and I'll show you how to make a Pyramid arcade game we used to play back in the pubs on the Colonies," He'd offered referring to Pyramid X. They'd had one on Galactica in Joe's Bar. He was almost sure that he could help her recreate it. "Anders will love it…Well…once he gets past the shock of being alive, that is."

Margot had readily and happily accepted his offer before Ellen shot her a look from across the room. She was disappointed but she knew the other woman was right. For the foreseeable future her every waking moment would have to be focused on her new project. She'd be lucky if she could spare the time to get the ball printed before Sam resurrected. She thanked Helo anyway and told him that she would take him up on his offer as soon as her schedule allowed. With a few goodbyes Blaze signed off for Agathons promising to see everyone on Alpha shortly.

Since then Ellen had excused herself to the bedroom and Margot and Alexi had wandered off to the kitchen to talk amongst themselves. Laura sat with Bill and Saul half hearing what either of them were talking about while they chatted. Her focus was on the kitchen as she watched the two young soldiers speaking intently to one another. Her ears perked up when she heard Bill's request.

"Saul, can I talk to you privately for a moment?" He asked.

"Uh, yeah, sure thing, Bill. We can step into Katya's old room. We'll be right back, Laura," Saul assured as they walked away.

She nodded politely, excusing them. She was only concerned with Alexi at the moment anyway. The sergeant was still at the kitchen table speaking to Margot in hushed tones and whispers. If she was going to talk to him before they left this might be her only chance. Just as she started to rise from her seat Ellen returned from the other room.

"Alexi, I'm heading to your cabin now. Are you coming?"

"Na, Ellen. You and Kat hang out. Just tell her I'll be home in an hour or so."

"Alexi is going to help me crunch some numbers," Margot explained." Maybe get started on the algorithm. Might as well put his brain to some use while I'm here," She smirked.

Ellen nodded and looked them both over for a moment. Sometimes it was hard for her to recall how angry she'd been when she first found out about the creation of the four children. She cared for them each so much now. Though she would have had Saul by her side her life in Orbit would have been so empty without them over the past fifteen years.

"Alright, goodnight, kiddos. Margot, meet me here at 0700. We'll have a bloody-Mary and then call your mother," She said shaking her head as she made her way toward the door. "G'night, Laura," She called over her shoulder as an afterthought.

Ellen had been doing her best to be amicable toward her lately. She didn't know if Laura had any idea how much she'd taken up for her where Katya was concerned and she didn't care. No matter how much she'd encouraged Katya to give her birth mother a fighting chance the jealousy was still there. She fought it but it always returned. As she left the cabin she couldn't help feeling satisfied that Laura knew she was heading to Katya's all on her own.

"Goodnight, Ellen," Laura returned when the door was almost half shut.

Now that Ellen was gone and Saul was occupied she finally had a chance to speak freely with Alexi.

"I'm hitting the head before we go, Lex," Margot said, pushing her seat out.

When she turned to make her way toward the restroom she nearly bumped right into Laura.

"Oh, shit," She said taking a step back. "I'm sorry, Ms. Roslin. Didn't see you there."

Laura just smiled and gave her the room to walk past. Her silence made Margot feel sort of guilty about her previous projection reference. Her comment about the beach had been overly catty. Katya had told her how disturbed the woman was. It was out of character for Margot to be so snide. She had been nervous and overwhelmed at the time and she wished she could take it back.

"Oh and, Ma'am…I'm um, sorry for before," She added honestly.

"You know what, Specialist. It's fine. Forget it," Laura said just wanting to brush it off and get to Alexi before Bill and Saul came back in.

'Yes, Ma'am," Margot nodded and continued to the head.

When she was gone Laura took her seat at the table across from Alexi. She could tell the young man was already uncomfortable. He hadn't said more than a hello to her all night. He wasn't very chatty to begin with but she could tell he was avoiding her to a degree.

"Sergeant," She started.

"Ms. Roslin," He nodded before looking down at his cuff for any distraction.

A message, a game, some station news or even his platoon schedule would do. He was caught off guard when a hand reached out covering his wrist and the screen along with it. He was more surprised to notice how much that hand looked like his wife's. The resemblance was remarkable and as he looked up a tiny fraction of himself almost expected Katya to be there. Instead it was her mother watching him with almost pleading eyes as she gently but steadily held onto his cuffed wrist.

"I just want to know how she is, Alexi. That's all."

His shoulders tensed and he looked toward Katya's old room making sure Saul was still inside.

"She's fine, Ms. Roslin," He said with a curt shrug.

Laura gave a dejected sigh as she took her hand away and slumped back in her chair. It was all the update she was going to get. She supposed it had to be enough. She'd been debating messaging Katya on her own all day. She just wanted to let her know that she was thinking of her but the way they'd left things that morning made her feel uneasy about doing so. Leaning her elbows on the table she held her head up with her hands and gazed down at the tabletop. Her back still ached from the bedside sleep she'd gotten the night before and the afternoon she'd had with Bill had taken more out of her than she thought. She knew that she would worry tonight, she knew that she would dream but even so, she knew she so badly needed to sleep.

Alexi glanced up at the tired woman with her head in her hands, the hands that looked so much like the ones that belonged to the woman he loved. Roslin’s presence had him on edge since Katya had shared her pseudo- cylon abilities. He had no idea if she could read him or if she would even know how but he was already using enough energy to block Saul and Ellen. He'd made note to stay clear of her all night. Now as he watched her at the table he thought of what Katya had  told him about her restful sleep in the ward with Laura by her side. She had comforted his wife in his absence and made sure that she wasn't alone. He suddenly felt more than a little guilty. He knew he owed her more than what he'd given.

"Ma'am?" He said softly, waiting until she picked her head up from her palms and gave him her eyes. "She's doing a lot better. Tawny came this afternoon and said she looked good. Doc just wants her to take one more day before she goes back to work," He said looking over toward the door to check for Saul again.

"Thank you, Sergeant," She said softly, with a tiny but appreciative smile, "Thank you."

He gave her a short nod in response.

"She just still doesn't want to worry the Tighs so please..."

"I understand," She said cutting him off.

He swallowed hard. He was grateful for her discretion.

"She, um, also sends her thanks," He added.

Laura felt her heart flutter at his words. Katya wasn't angry. She wasn't mad about the overnight stay in the ward. She was thankful; enough that she'd sent a message with her husband.

"Anytime," Laura said allowing her smile to grow until she saw how somber Alexi was staying.

She supposed it was just his usual demeanor. He had a bit of a reputation for his ultra stoic nature but there seemed to be a hint of worry and concern in his otherwise stolid eyes. As Laura studied his cool yet intense gaze that was so obviously inherited from his mother, she became certain that he was hiding something behind it. It made her wonder about Tawny's words that morning. There was just something strange about the situation; the weird timeline she'd mentioned to Katya, the knowledgement of persistent symptoms. It didn't line up at all with a simple isolated bout of dehydration. Laura had developed an uneasy feeling ever since then. When she finally gathered the nerve to ask Alexi another question Margot returned.

"I'm ready, Lex," The girl announced as she walked into the room. "Let's go."

The sergeant nodded and rose from his seat.

"Goodnight, Ms. Roslin," Margot said hoping the woman's earlier forgiveness had been genuine.

"Goodnight, Margot."

" Colonel, were going! " Margot shouted. She heard Saul grumble something from the other room in return and she shook her head and laughed. "C'mon, Serge."

"Goodnight, Ms. Roslin," Alexi bid her with a nod.

"Goodnight, Sergeant."

"And, Ms. Roslin, I just want you to know; you have my thanks and appreciation as well," He told her sincerely.

Laura was touched by his sentiment. She waved and nodded gratefully as they left. When the hatch closed Laura sat for a while thinking to herself. She wondered when she'd see Katya again. She wondered where her next update would come from. She wondered what on earth was really wrong with her daughter.

"You ready?"

Bill's voice made Laura jump in her seat. She turned around to see him chuckle and offer a silent apology.

"Yeah, let's go home."

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 139B: ASSIGNMENT; ISAKOFF/PETROV

YEAR: 2315

"Baby, you in here?!" Ellen called as she let herself through the hatch of the cabin. "It's just me."

" In the bedroom, " Katya called, her voice muffled by the walls between them.

When Ellen walked through the entrance of the bedroom she paused and grinned, just happy to take in the sight of Katya's smile.

"There's my girl," She said walking up to the bed where Katya sat reading something on her cabin tablet.

"Auntie!" Katya greeted in return, abandoning the device on the bed and extending her arms for hug.

When Katya had asked Alexi to send Ellen to the cabin after the meeting she knew that there was a certain amount of preparation that she would need to do. Once she was alone she showered, pinned her hair up and even applied minimal makeup. She did whatever she could so that it didn't look like she'd been in bed all day. She even made the rack, though she just lounged on top of it while she waited for Ellen to arrive. So she didn't feel like she was making a total liar out of her commander Katya read a few reports on her tablet and made some notes so that she could technically say that she'd been working during the meeting. A few times she’d brought up the calendar on her station cuff and counted the days until she wouldn't have to lie anymore. At the last minute Katya remembered the bruises on her arms and donned a long sleeved shirt. At this rate she thought, she could have handled the meeting after all. Covering her tracks was more work. Though she'd done little but rest all day she still felt drained. When Tawny stopped by and suggested she take another day off from duty she'd been annoyed but as the night went on she couldn't imagine getting up for work at 0500. Her body wasn't ready. Talking to Margot had been good but exhausting. If it had only been the simple confession Katya would have felt relieved to finally unburden herself to her friend but where Margot was concerned, there was a favor to be asked that followed the admission. It was probably the biggest favor Katya had ever requested of anyone and though Margot was graciously and readily accepting of it, the energy it took to ask went out the door with specialist as she left the cabin after their talk. She was tired but she knew that she and Alexi would both sleep better at night knowing they would have Margot to count on in the future.

Kaplan's visit was less intensive. He was helpful and considerate; more so than either Katya or Alexi could expect him to be. He never asked for details, only what he needed to know and for now he was still happy to help the young couple. His willingness to lie for them somehow made them feel even worse.

"You look good, kitten," Ellen smiled as she broke their hug and sat next to Katya on the rack.

"I do?"

"Yeah, you do," She said happily as she gave the girl a once over.

"Don't look so surprised," Katya frowned in jest.

"Oh, I'm just happy to see you, sweetie," Ellen said leaning in to give her a kiss on the cheek.

"I'm happy to see you too. I'm glad you're home."

"I wasn't gone long," Ellen said taking a seat beside her on the bed.

"It was long enough," Katya shrugged.

"You know, kitten, I really, really want you to try and stop worrying so much about us."

Ellen took Katya's hand in her own and gave it a little squeeze.

"I can't."

"You've gotta try, sweetie. I wish I had something more comforting to tell you but I don't."

Katya took a deep breath and sighed, letting herself lean back on the mattress.

"I know. Margot filled me in. She said that she can secure the basestar and protect the raiders and the centurions but that she can't do anything to help any of you."

" Yet ,” Ellen corrected. “She can't do anything yet but she is working on it and so am I. For now just know that we can handle this. And all the worrying in the world isn't going to make any of us any less vulnerable. It's just going to make us feel bad that you're so upset. We're fine, sweetie. You see that. Maybe Blazer can't fly as a precaution but you see that Alexi and Uncle Saul, and Margot and I are just fine. We get up and do our jobs every day like everyone else. We aren't sick, we aren't suffering. I've seen Sharon and she's adjusting well to Beta. We're all okay. We just happen to be susceptible to something that you can't control. I'm not saying that the next atmosphere breach won't be scary but that's when we'll need you. Until that happens we need you to treat us like nothing's wrong. It will make this all a lot easier on everyone. Can you do that for me?"

"Probably not…but I'll try."

"Thank you, baby," Ellen said with a nod as she leaned back to lie next to Katya.

"I just don't want to see you like that, any of you. Blaze and Alexi…I mean…they were dizzy and confused and that's enough to scare the shit out of me but you and Margot and Uncle Saul…when it happens it's like you're not even there."

"But we are, sweetie. I know what it looks like and what it seems like but we don't go anywhere. We just get a little…incapacitated."

"A little?"

"Okay, a lot but it doesn't last long. We should be grateful for that. We're back to normal within a few minutes. Not lasting damage."

"Margot said that whatever signal they're sending to do it is getting stronger. What if it starts making the episodes longer? What if it happens when you’re in the shower and you fall and crack open your head? What if it happens one time and you don't snap out of it?"

"Katya, I don't know. I wish I did but none of that has happened yet. All we can do is try to fix it and we are. Torturing yourself with hypotheticals isn't helping anything."

Ellen bit her lip as she watched Katya's face. The irony of what she was saying wasn't lost on her. She knew that she should take her own advice.

"I'm sorry."

"It's alright, kit. I know there's a lot going on but I promise you we're going to fix it. I didn't stick around this long to fail now."

"I know," Katya said forcing a smile and giving Ellen a peck on the cheek before snuggling beside her on the bed.

"I don't want to talk about that anymore, Katya," Ellen yawned. "I've been talking about it and thinking about it all day. I just had to explain it to a room full of people. I'm done with that. Tell me about your day."

"My day?"

"Yeah. What was so important that Kaplan excused you from the meeting? Not that you missed much other than Blaze getting in trouble with Uncle Saul from an entire quadrant away."

"Damn. What did that dummy do now?"

"Oh, I'll let Alexi fill you in. He'll be mad if I ruin it for him. So what were you up to?"

"Nothing really. Just going over some reports. It's all this new protocol. Kaplan had me working on new combat tactics at first and it turned into an entire procedure revamp. He's sort of placed me in charge of putting together a first draft. I guess he's making use of me while I'm grounded," Katya explained with a wistful shrug. Ellen gave her sympathetic smile in return and it made her feel even worse as she continued to stretch the truth to fit her lie. The project was real. It was all true. Cmdr. Kaplan had really given her the new responsibility she was just using it as a convenient excuse. There was no real need for her to be working on it during the meeting. What she needed was to stay off her feet. She needed to rest. She needed to stay away from stress filled environments. She needed to stop lying.

"Things are changing, Aunt Ellen. We haven't seen combat this frequent since before I enlisted. The entire military is working on amping up their usual protocol. It's not just Orbit Patrol. Kaplan asked Alexi to do the same for the Marine branch as well."

"Shouldn't all Orbit Patrol protocol go through Uncle Saul?" Ellen scowled.

Saul had been the station's Aviation Resource Superintendent since he’d enlisted. He oversaw the aviation training program. He kept tabs on its standardization, flight requirements and updated and monitored compliance of system policy. All aeronautical procedure went through him. Katya's new project was just the sort of thing Saul monitored and Ellen was right; if she was indeed working extra hours on a project like this Saul would know about it. It wasn't Kaplan's fault. He probably never expected Ellen to be so persistently nosey.

"Yeah…that's his job," Katya shrugged.

"When he asked Cmdr. Kaplan what you were working on he told him it was classified. He said you would tell him soon. Uncle Saul had no idea what you were working on."

Katya rolled her eyes. Maybe they needed to do a better job at covering all of their bases.

"I don't know why he would say that. He probably just didn't want to talk shop while he was over there. I'll have to hand in everything I'm working on to Uncle Saul for approval. Kaplan says once Saul okays it he might even send Alexi and I to the military bases over on the civvie side to help with implementation."

Though the C and B corridors were considered the military side of the station the civilian A and D corridors still held flight decks and a substantial military presence. The excuse would hold well. Katya and Alexi were indeed working on their unit's projects but they would soon have personal business to attend to on the civilian side’s medical center and they needed a reason to be visiting that part of the station, at least for a while.

"We’ll go over a few days out of the week, probably over the next few months just to make sure it's all being integrated properly. An ambush could come from anywhere,” Katya explained.

"Let's just hope none come at all," Ellen answered rubbing at her forehead.

"I'll second that."

"No more work talk, kit. It's making me crazy…What about yesterday? What did you do after you got off duty? No one was home. I was worried you would forget to eat dinner," Ellen goaded.

Katya narrowed her eyes at the jab trying to suppress her giggles and fake a look of offence.

"You know, I'd get mad at you for saying that if it didn't happen so often."

"I told you to set an alarm on your cuff," Ellen laughed.

"I remembered just fine, thank you," Katya assured her.

It helped that a medic had set her meals in front of her for the last day and a half.

"How'd you sleep? I thought about you last night."

"Good."

"Really?"

"Yup."

"No nightmares?"

"Nope. None. Slept all night," Kata said truthfully, though she left out the reason why.

"Huh, well that's good to hear. I know Alexi must have been worried too."

" See? We all worry about each other," Katya poked.

"Fine," Ellen relented. "Maybe we should all tone it down a little bit then."

She'd just been about to hint at her growing concern for the girl but Katya was right and Ellen was tired. At least for the moment she would let her be. Her daughter was right beside her and smiling, beautiful as ever just like Saul said. For tonight at least, it was enough reassurance that she was fine.

"Margot told me you set a tentative date for the Delta download."

"Didn't I just say; no work talk, Kat?"

"Our lives are work, Ellen. What the hell else is there anymore?"

Ellen winced at the reality of the remark.

"Yes. That's true," She gave in. "If she can figure out her safeguards in the next few days we'll be heading over by the weekend."

"But this weekend is a holiday," Katya said with some protest to her voice.

"So what?"

"It's Unity Day."

For the last century Unity Day had been celebrated as the biggest holiday in Earth Orbit. It commemorated the day when the four main sectors and their respective stations officially dissolved and united as one Orbit government. Though most jobs and jurisdictions couldn't be abandoned for a full day of celebration the system adopted a bit more of a lax and jovial attitude in celebration. School teachers and students were given the day off and many of the less imperative civilian operations closed early in preparation for nighttime festivities. Every year on Unity Day the EOC members of each station threw their military officers a formal banquet in thanks of their service.

"Kat, this is important. We have to get it done as soon as possible."

"We'll miss the Officer's Ball.”

"We'll go to Delta's. It will be good. We'll celebrate big before the last download," Ellen suggested.

"I don't want to celebrate on Delta," Katya nearly whined in a sleepy voice. "I want to be on my own station, at my own celebration."

She hadn't missed Alpha's Officer's Ball since she was seventeen. It was a tradition and one she actually enjoyed.

"Sweetie, I think you're missing the point of Unity Day," Ellen laughed as Katya groaned and rolled into her side snuggling up under her arm. "We'll have a good time, kitten. Margot's always been there for you. This weekend you need to be there for her. Besides we can show Delta how we party here on Alpha. Teach them a thing or two."

Katya moaned in frustration before she finally gave in.

"You're right," She relented, knowing she had little choice.

She wondered why she even cared. She knew she wouldn't be able to have the fun this year that she usually did.

"It'll be a good time," Ellen said attempting to rouse some excitement. "In fact now I'm looking forward to it. I haven't seen you in a dress in ages."

Katya groaned in response.

"I didn't even get one yet. Forget it. Maybe we should skip it after all."

"Nonsense," Ellen scoffed. "It will be fun. Give us a little break to let loose."

"Maybe I'll just wear my uniform formals. I don't know if I feel like sporting a dress this year."

"Oh, stop. In fact, pick something out on the network and I'll get it printed for you in time. C'mon, something pretty in Alpha blue. Do your station proud while we're away. Pick out anything you want, baby."

"Are you trying to buy my love, Aunt Ellen?" Katya teased.

"I'm trying to make you smile."

"In that case, there's a new personal sidearm I want."

"Nice try, kitten," Ellen winked as she played with an errant lock of Katya's hair. "Ya know there's something else I didn't tell Margot yet. Something I didn't tell anyone yet really, besides Uncle Saul…"

"What?"

Ellen licked at her bottom lip deciding to go ahead. Last time Katya had been upset about being left in the dark. At least this time she wouldn't be able to get angry at that much.

"We're going to make it so that they are all there for the download. Bill, Laura, Sharon, Karl…everyone," She admitted.

" Ellen, that's crazy ," Katya answered in a somewhat elevated voice. "You saw what happened last time we had more than two to a station. There was an attack. They could have all been killed. "

"I know but this could be it, Katya. This will be the first time they are all together."

"Yes and they could all be blown right out of Orbit leaving the human race to rot."

" Kat ..."

"I'd ask how the hell you plan on getting the Security Administration to agree but now I know you'll just strong arm them like you did for Beta," Katya bit.

" Hey, hey, c'mon ," Ellen said halting her attacks." Look, Katya last time you were angry because you felt like you were the last to know. This time I'm making sure that you're the first. I'm being honest with you. I understand that you're worried. We'll only do it if Margot has things under control. We may even move the basestar in closer range. We'll have the station surrounded the entire time."

"Won't that just arouse suspicion on whatever the hell the bots use for radar?"

"Maybe but I really think it's important that they all be there. If we do this, we are going to be smart about it. We'll bring them each over separately. We'll have their shuttles make intermittent stops at pods. We'll do what we can to stop any of our activity from being detected."

Katya put her palm over her face trying to come to terms with something that she knew she probably couldn't stop.

"Hey, what if we just did it all on Gamma?” She posed. “The bots think that station's dead anyway. They haven't gone near it since the ambush."

Since the bodies on Gamma were terminated the airspace below the atmosphere hadn't even been crossed in years.

"We thought about that. I can't move those bodies safely though, Kat. Not until they’re conscious. Moving them to Gamma on life support would be way too risky. I just can't do it."

Katya looked up at the ceiling above her rack wondering what it was going to be like to finally have all six saviors alive and with them.

"Everything's happening so fast all of a sudden," She said softly.

"I know it is, baby."

"It's like I waited all my life for this to start and suddenly we're in the middle of it."

"We don't know what's going to happen," Ellen shrugged. "This could just be the beginning. We just have to stay strong and stick together. Do whatever we can to help. That's why we're here. I want to get the six of them together as soon as possible but that might not do much right away. We'll just have to see what happens."

Katya rolled toward the wall putting her back toward Ellen. For a while they were both quiet. Ellen rolled onto her side putting her arm over Katya and encouraging her to lean back into her embrace.

"Aunt Ellen?" Katya asked as she settled into Ellen's arms.

"What, kitten?"

"Have you ever thought about what'll happen when this is all over?"

Ellen paused for a moment considering the question.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean…I know it's not likely to be solved in the blink of an eye. I know it's probably going to be a lot more complicated than that, even once we figure out whatever roles these so-called ancient leaders are supposed to fill. It's just sometimes I think about what would happen if it was suddenly all over. What if the bots were gone in a day and we could start moving people back to the surface?"

Katya felt Ellen's shoulders shrug behind her.

"Then we would start moving people back to the surface," Ellen said simply. "What do you mean? That's why we're doing all of this."

"I know but...you and Uncle Saul…you would have fulfilled your purpose. You wouldn't have any obligation to do much else for this civilization."

"What are you trying to say, Katya?" Ellen asked encouraging her to spill whatever it was she was dancing around.

The girl let out a sad little hum beside her before answering.

"You've been here for so long. Sometimes I think about what would happen if the people didn't need you anymore. Why stay?"

"Where would we go?"

Katya sighed into her pillow.

"Maybe stay isn't the right word."

" Katya ," Ellen groaned, finally sure of what she was getting at.

"I've heard Uncle Saul say it before. He's tired. He's seen the destruction of three different civilizations. He's seen so much war and death and you've both always either been waiting around to stop it or actively fighting against it. He's said that you haven't gotten to rest yet."

" Rest ?" Ellen chuckled, trying to make light of it. "Try being boxed for the better part of two millennia."

When she felt Katya go stiff in her arms she quit laughing.

"Stop it, Ellen. I know that's not the same thing. He's right. You've done more than any two souls should have ever had to. You've played babysitter all over the universe and it isn't fair. I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to finally see what it was like on the other side once this is all over. Everyone else gets to. Why shouldn't you?"

Ellen let out a breath and paced herself before answering.

"You're really worried that we'd choose to give this life up once we felt we were somehow done here?"

"I guess. I guess I've always thought about it," Katya answered as honestly as she could. "It's just that the possibility hasn't ever felt this close."

"You think we're going to leave you."

Ellen's words almost sounded like an accusation.

"No. I mean…I don't know," Katya stammered. "Eventually. Wouldn't you?"

" No ," Ellen answered without missing a beat. "Not as long as I can help it. And I won't speak for Uncle Saul but I would bet my last credit he'd say the same," She asserted leaning up on the rack and glancing down over Katya. "Sweetie, we stayed here to do a job and to fulfill a duty that was given to us by some force I still can't explain. We made a promise to see it through and we've been doing that to the best of our ability. I'll admit that sometimes it used to feel like a curse, like a burden...but it hasn't felt like that for us in a long time. We've been here longer than you can understand but the last fifteen years with you have been the most precious Saul and I have ever spent together," She said as she trailed her fingers up and down Katya's arm. "I don't know why it took us thousands of years and a handful of lifetimes to get it right but somehow when you came along we finally did. It might sound crazy to you but our time on Alpha has been the happiest time of our lives. We had a little family. We worked together and made that happen. I've told you many times that Uncle Saul and I always had a complicated relationship. No matter how much we loved each other it just always seemed like there was something missing. There were times we were dishonest with each other. There were times when we hurt one another so deeply you couldn't begin to imagine," Ellen felt her heart sink when she thought of dying in Saul's arms on New Caprica. They'd promised each other never to let Katya know that he'd once taken her life and though Ellen knew it might help their daughter understand just how much they'd changed for the better, she didn't dare share it. They never wanted her to have to bear knowing that truth. "But somehow in this life, with you, we've been able to make each other proud. We've been able to keep each other happy and honest. It hasn't been easy but we love it. We love it because you're here with us. We wouldn't off ourselves just to find some kind of ethereal peace. We both know one day it will come to find us. Our greatest happiness has been here with you and it still is. As long as you're here, baby, so are we. Understand?"

Ellen's eyes watered when she saw Katya's lashes already wet with tears.

"I just don't know what I would ever do without you,” Katya said with a sniff. “Sometimes I can't even remember what my life was like before you came into it. I still miss my father. I never wanted him to die but I'm so glad to have you and Uncle Saul."

Katya felt the tight pain in her throat intensify. Sometimes she thought that she actually was glad her father wasn't around anymore. She hated herself for it. She had loved him but she knew that if he'd lived Saul and Ellen might never have been her parents and she couldn't imagine that.

"You've got us, kitten," Ellen told her as she thumbed a tear from the corner of Katya's eye.

"I know sometimes I act like I don't need you meddling in my business and sometimes I get mad when you treat me like a kid but I still need you so much."

Katya's voice was laced with raw honesty. She wished she could tell Ellen how much she truly needed her. She wished she could tell her that soon she might need her more than she ever had before. She wished like hell she could confide in her and ask for help and comfort but she knew that the time just wasn't right.

Ellen smiled at her has she lay back down and scooped her back into her arms.

"One day you'll understand how much we need you too," Ellen said softly before kissing Katya's temple and brushing another escaped tear off of her cheek. "I'm sticking with you, baby. I'm going to see these people down to the surface. I'm going to make sure they get off on the right damned foot too. And best of all when that day comes, when we all get down there I'm going to take you to the beach," She announced proudly. " A real beach with real sand, real waves and a real horizon with an honest to goodness sunset. No more projections, the real deal. I'm going to watch you in the water for the first time with a proud frakkin' smile on my face. Deal?"

Katya felt a twinge in her heart at the thought of their usual projection She wondered how Ellen would feel knowing Laura had seen their special seaside spot. Suddenly she wondered what Bill and Laura would do when they were no longer needed either. She didn't dare expect them to linger around for her benefit.

"Deal."

"Good. No more talk about anyone leaving. No one is going anywhere," Ellen said insistently as she squeezed Katya in her arms just a bit tighter.!"It's getting late, kit. 0500 comes pretty quick. You should get to sleep."

"Kaplan gave me the day off tomorrow since he made me work tonight," She lied.

"Oh, well that was generous of him. Maybe we can do something after I get done with my conference with Le Blanc."

"Good luck with that," Katya ragged, brushing away the last of her tears and snickering at the awful interaction she was sure Margot and Ellen would encounter.

"Thanks a lot," Ellen said with a semi-faux grimace. "That woman really is a wretched thorn in my ass. I'll never understand how Margot turned out so well."

"She's a good girl," Katya smiled remembering just how good of a friend she really was.

"She is and so are you. I'm so proud of you both," Ellen said with another quick kiss. "Alexi should be home soon," She yawned glancing at her cuff. It has been a long couple of days and even cylons needed sleep. "He just went to help Margot with a few things. She's meeting Sydra later so I doubt she'll keep him very long."

Katya nodded and followed with her own yawn in response.

"Can you do me favor?"

"Sure, kitten. Anything."

"Hold me till he gets back?"

"I am holding you, baby."

"I know," She answered. "Just don't let go."

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 126B: ASSIGNMENT; ROSLIN/ADAMA

YEAR: 2315

Bill was surprised when he got into the rack and found Laura holding up one of their cabin tablets. They'd made it home from the Tigh’s and gotten ready for bed without talking much. The events of the day and the content of the meeting had all been a lot to process. Bill had figured that Laura would be more than ready to pass out once they got settled. She’d slept in a chair the night before, anxious and worried by their daughter's side. That alone had to have worn at her. On top of it their afternoon together had been a consuming one. Though Bill was grateful for it he knew it had taken a lot out of the both of them. Laura wouldn't even nap after; worried she would have another daunting dream. He didn't expect her to keep her eyes open for more than a few moments once her head it the pillow. He didn't want her to. She needed the sleep desperately but when he came to bed and she told him what she wanted to do he didn't dare discourage her. When he got under the covers she'd already had her medical records accessed on their cabin tablet. He'd snuggled up beside her and asked if she was sure only once. He let her open the first file, reminding her that he was right by her side.

They both cried as they watched Katya's birth. They cried because neither one of them had been there to witness it. They cried because they hurt for their baby girl, born to lifeless bodies with so many burdens already stacked upon her. They cried because no matter how awful it made them feel and no matter how clinical and invasive the entire scene was, they both found a sense of beauty in it as well.

Laura's emotions were all over the place as they viewed the footage. When she'd first accessed the recording she was surprised to see that her body looked like it couldn't have been aged to more than about nineteen at the time of her pregnancy. Seeing herself so young was a shock in itself even before she noticed her rounded expectant form. She never thought she'd see herself that way. At first she couldn't help but be mortified by the scene. Seeing her unconscious body covered in electrodes, controlled like a machine, her limp legs held open in stirrups with half a dozen strangers milling around. She thought she might vomit. They had to turn the sound off when they got to a part where Dr. Isakoff and his assistant started arguing over when to use their remote forces and when to let nature take its course. The way the scientist bickered over her vacant laboring body made her red in the face with anger and displaced embarrassment. Bill had asked if she wanted to stop half way through but she’d refused. She knew he was right. She needed to see it. She needed to see that her baby had truly grown inside her, that she'd actually given her life.

Laura found herself sobbing when Katya was born as if she was really there. It all flooded out of her uncontrollably as Bill held her close. It hurt to watch. It tore her heart apart but it also filled her with a feeling that she couldn't describe, even to herself. It was a strange sense that she knew she might never have a name for but even so she was glad to feel it.

Just like Ellen told her, the baby was born far too small to cry and with her eyes still too sensitive to open but she had kicked her little feet with a force showing everyone that she was alive and strong. Laura felt so anxious and scared for the ultra tiny infant on the screen's projection. Ellen had explained that Katya’s premature arrival was common practice within the system and very safe. She'd also explained that the baby had gestated in an artificial womb chamber and turned out totally healthy. Even so Laura still couldn't help the wave of fear that gripped her as she watched. She'd never seen such a teeny newborn. Not even Herra. She remembered seeing the hybrid child in her isolette only hours after her birth on Galactica. Laura recalled how small the little girl was and how hard she had to fight for her life though she'd already unknowingly saved another just by being born. Laura cried even harder when she thought back to her arrangement with Cottle. Her heart broke for Sharon and Karl all over again as she finally felt the weight of what she'd done to them. She knew that when she saw Sharon next she'd have to acknowledge it somehow.

Despite how tiny and frail Katya appeared when she was born, Bill had leaned into Laura's ear and told her that they’d had a beautiful baby. Through all of her tears she was able to smile at that.

When they'd gotten past the footage of Katya's birth Laura insisted they press on. Bill was wary, worried that it might be too much all at one time. Only hours before Laura had been refusing to watch at all but something had come over her. She wanted to see more. She needed to. She'd handed the tablet over to Bill asking him to choose the next file. They looked over some still images of Katya inside the gestational chamber. They saw a condensed progression of how she continued to grow and develop into a healthy full term baby. When Bill got past her last month in the chamber he came upon the file he had in mind. It was the footage of Katya's first night out of the chamber. With Laura's fearful and hesitant permission he projected the video over the screen and played it for her. Finally Laura knew why Bill and Ellen had been so touched by the scene in front of her. They'd watched the poor orphan child seeking out comfort from her mother's idle form, unaware that she couldn't be held, rocked or loved in any way. They'd watched Laura's body doing what it could for the life it had brought forth, vacant and unable to care for the little soul it had created. Laura finally understood how much Bill and Ellen had each been affected by the scene but they had no idea how truly powerful the image really was. Laura was breathless watching her baby derive comfort and nourishment from the very breast that she had come to subconsciously hate and resent. Somehow seeing it freed her of the anguish and bitterness that she'd held against her old body for turning against her. It didn't take the experience or the memory away but seeing that part of her body associated with life rather than death was cleansing and precious in a way she knew no one else would ever understand. It gave her a different appreciation for her new body. It had been through so much without her and Bill was right; it had done something amazing. Though its slightly younger form had given her some trouble over the last few months she felt the resentment over the cumbersom burden slipping away too. When she bled she would no longer view it as just an unfortunate annoyance. Now she would see it as a reminder of what her body had once done, of what it was capable of.  Though all the footage hurt to watch she was grateful for it.

When it was done Bill had held her while she cried a bit longer. He’d been struggling to find the right words to say to her ever since.

"Are you alright?"

He settled for the simple sentiment of concern when he couldn't think of words worthy of the moment.

With a few sniffles Laura cleared her throat and nodded.

"That was…intense."

He was surprised but glad to hear the strength and steadiness of her voice.

"Are you sorry that we did it?" He asked putting the tablet in his lap and reaching for her hand.

Laura inhaled deeply and felt her breath catch a few times on the way down with lingering emotion. The air felt good as it stretched her lungs, sore from sobbing.

"No. I'm not sorry. It was just one of the hardest things I've ever done."

She'd buried her whole family. She'd escaped the end of the worlds by the skin of her teeth and braved a battle with an unrelenting illness and violent enemy in tandem. She'd done all of that and watching the birth of her daughter still ranked right up there beside every harrowing event.

"You did it though," Bill answered with a small smile.

He was so immensely proud of her. She'd missed the pain of their daughter's birth but tonight she'd willingly chosen to bear it all within her heart.

"With you," Laura added with a shaky smile.

She knew that without him she wouldnt have gotten through it. She knew that she wouldn't have even tried if he hadn't been there to encourage her. Though the images she now held within her were hardly comforting she was somehow glad to have them.

Bill kissed her on the forehead and returned her smile. He'd already known they could battle anything as long as they were together. This only affirmed it for him again.

"It's been a long day, Laura. I know that you need to get some sleep. I just want to let you know that I spoke to Saul and he's given me access to their family album files."

Laura looked around the room, her eyes still blurry, burning and somewhat out of focus. She nodded and bit her lip.

"That's what you were speaking about in Katya's room."

She said it as more of a statement than a question.

When the two men had gone purposefully out of earshot back at the Tigh's cabin she'd just figured that they were discussing Bill's enlistment. She was honestly so determined to gain Alexi's attention that she hadn't thought much about it. She should have known Bill was asking for the files. He'd told her he wanted them whether she chose to partake or not. Somehow seeing Katya as a child almost scared her more than the recordings of her birth or images of her as a newborn. The baby she had years ago was a far cry from the woman she now knew but seeing the life that had occurred in between would remind her of the entirety of what had been taken from her.

"Yes," Bill affirmed. “He was happy to do it. We can pull it up whenever we want."

"I'm sure Ellen loves that," Laura said with a caustic roll of her eyes.

She could only imagine how the other woman would feel knowing her family's precious memories were being watched by someone she seemed to resent so much.

"I don't think he's told her yet but she might be more accepting of it than you think," Bill posed.

"I really doubt that."

"Laura, I think they took a lot of these photos and videos with us in mind."

"What do you mean?"

Bill stopped to consider it for a moment. Laura looked so tired. She was exhausted and she had already done more tonight than he ever hoped she would. For a moment he thought he might save it for another time but he knew the woman next to him. As much as she'd opened up tonight she could so quickly shut down on him again. He wanted to give her reason not to.

"Well…maybe it would be better if I showed you what I mean," He suggested seeing a tiny flicker of fear flash in her eyes. "You don't have to watch, Laura. I know we've done a lot tonight but I have one in mind. Just a short one. One Saul showed me weeks ago."

Laura sighed as she watched his hopeful expression.

"Yeah…Okay. I guess if I could get through those last two I can get through anything."

Bill smiled at her agreement and reached for the tablet. He closed out her medical logs and ran his own cuff over the screen. He searched for a while before he found the shared data that Saul had given him access to. For a few minutes he swiped through hundreds and hundreds of Tigh Family files until he finally found what he was looking for. His finger hesitatingly hovered over a file labeled YNI 8-8-2301.

Laura watched as he illuminated the strange strand of letters and numbers. For a moment it meant nothing to her and then in flash she remembered the birth certificate.

"Just…do it, Bill," She told him.

He nodded and then swiped the file to project over the screen.

Laura's heart felt like it lodged up into her throat the moment the shaky footage came up above the screen. Standing in what was obviously the Tigh's kitchenette was a beautiful raven haired little girl with impossibly blue eyes. She wore a little dress that matched her ultramarine gaze and she was smiling right at them. Laura heard Bill's breathing change as the unsteady video began to play and she inched toward him even closer attempting to reassure him as well as herself.

"Okay go ahead, kitten," Ellen's voice came from off screen.

From the looks of it she was the one recording; probably using her cuff or a cabin tablet due to the slight sway to the focus. As she spoke the little girl giggled and blushed while she leaned into a kitchen chair hiding half of her face.

"C'mon sweetie, don't get shy on me now," Ellen's voice encouraged. "Do it like we said. C'mon, go on. Introduce yourself," She said finally getting the bashful child to stand up straight and face her.

"Okay, okay…I'm Yekaterina Natalia Isakoff," The little girl said confidently and clearly.

"And?" Came Ellen's prompt.

"And…" The girl repeated, looking off to the side and pondering her answer, "And everyone just calls me Katya."

They could hear Ellen giggling behind the screen at Katya's innocent response.

"Yes. That's true, sweetie but what else?"

"Umm…"

"What day is it today, baby?"

"It's August the 8th, 2301," Katya said quickly.

" And ?"

"And today I'm 8 years old!"

"That's right! You sure are!" Ellen exclaimed in an over-enthusiastic and obviously loving voice.

She laughed softly shaking the recording’s focus as Saul came into view slowly sneaking up behind the little girl. He had his index finger over his lips silently telling his wife not to alert her.

" Ahh! There's the birthday girl !" He shouted loudly as he scooped down behind Katya, grabbing her by the sides and tickling her mercilessly.

The girl shrieked in a mixture of shock and delight as he knelt down and pulled her into a big hug. The image trembled even more as Ellen laughed fondly at the sight.

"Uncle Saul!"

"I got ya!"

"You didn't!"

"Oh yeah? Why'd ya squeal then, princess?" Saul said tickling her again until she shrieked with laughter once more.

"Stop, stop, stop!" She pleaded through a fit of giggles.

"Okay, okay, birthday girl. Whatever you say," He relented bending on one knee and picking Katya up to sit upon it.

"Alright, alright, you two," Ellen said rallying the pair. “We're not through yet. Kitten what are we gunna do today?" She asked, continuing with her prompts.

"A party!"

"Yes!" Ellen answered happily.

Bill chuckled out loud when he saw the exaggerated look of excitement that Saul had on for the little girl's amusement. They had first watched the video together the day Laura met with Ellen in the lab. They watched it while Katya slept in the other room and Alexi sat beside them doing a poor job of hiding his smiles. Saul said that the recording was from the first birthday she'd spent with them. Her father had passed only weeks after she'd turned seven. The party they'd thrown for her wasn't just for her eighth birthday. It was to celebrate the first anniversary of her adoption. Before Bill first watched the video he'd never seen Saul act so silly. He'd also never seen him so happy.

"But where are we going first?" Saul posed, adding to the question and leaning Katya back on his knee so he could see her face.

"Umm…the lab."

"Right," Saul nodded, "And why are we going there, kit?"

"To see Mommy and Daddy!"

"That's right," Saul concurred winking his good eye and giving her a big kiss on cheek. "We better get going, Ellen. Kids come at 1400. Happy Birthday, Katya," He told the girl, looking at her with total adoration.

"Happy birthday, baby," Ellen followed.

"Thank you," Katya said suddenly getting shy again and turning her face into Saul's tunic.

The footage cut out quickly and the projection collapsed back into the tablet screen. Without a word Bill shut the device down and placed it on the shelf above the rack. When he looked back at Laura she was still staring into the empty space where the display had been. Her lips were slack and her eyes held a pained expression. Bill felt a twinge in his gut thinking that the last video had probably been a bad idea after all. He reached to cup her chin, softly asking for her attention.

"Talk to me, Laura," He said running his thumb along her jaw line.

She still couldn't lock eyes with him. It was like she was still focused on the image that was already gone.

"Such a beautiful little girl," Was all she whispered.

Bill nodded and pulled her in for a hug.

"She was," He told her. "And she was ours. She always has been. She still is, Laura. The Tighs know it and they made sure she knew too. She's always known. We had a beautiful little girl," He told her as she started to cry into his neck and shoulder.

He soothingly rubbed at her back as it hitched with sobs but when they didn't start to ease after a few minutes he started to feel guilty.

"Laura, I'm sorry if that was all too much too soon. I just wanted to share it with you. I just thought it would help her feel like ours just a little bit more…I'm sorry I pushed."

"No…no, Bill," She cried shaking her head against him. LDon't be sorry…that's not it. I'm glad we watched I'm just…"

"What's wrong then?" He asked leaning back so he could see her face.

"I have a bad feeling, Bill."

"A bad feeling? About what?"

"We've just only found her and…"

"And what? What's wrong?"

"And I'm afraid she might be really sick."

—__________________


 

Please let me know what you think and if you are still reading.

More action to come.

Thanks so much for your time :-)

-LLA

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APRX TRANSLATIONS:

E-FED

-"Ty v pory'adke?" = Are you okay?

-"Dah." = Yes.

-"Nyet." = No.

-"Myshka." = Little Mouse

-"U teby'A pr'avda vsy'o horosh'o?"= Are you really alright?

-"KAk tvoyO zdorOv'e?" = What about your health?

-"DovEr`sya mne." = Trust me.

-"Kogda ty ne so mnoy , ya vsegda dumayu o tebe." = When you are not with me I think about you all the time.

- "Ya tebyA lyublyU, myshka." = I love you, my little mouse

Chapter 24: Chapter 24

Chapter Text

LOCATION: BETA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth
MILITARY UNIT

CORRIDOR B

CONFERENCE ROOM 131B; UNASSIGNED

YEAR: 2315

"So you're basically asking if I've been having any nightmares since my resurrection," Athena posed making sure that she understood Laura correctly.

Laura had come into Beta that morning to have breakfast with Blazer and the Agathons. They were served in a private dining room in the station's officer's club and were able to have a decently pleasant though somewhat awkward visit. Blaze kept conversation light and moving. He informed them about the system's upcoming holiday and gave them a short history lesson on its significance and how it was celebrated.

 

Two days had passed since their conferenced in meeting and since then Karl and Sharon had gotten wind of Bill's coming enlistment. They'd spent the last twenty-four hours hounding Saul into letting them do something similar. They were each tired of sitting around and waiting to be useful. Blaze had shown them every interesting thing about the station twice over. He was spending as much time with them as he could but he still had a duty to perform. Though he was grounded and staying on Beta he'd been working; taking up the assignment of scheduling Beta flight plans. This left hours in the day that Karl and Sharon were on their own. Beta's Cmdr. Patel was a gracious host and often took them to lunch or sent a representative to do the same but for the most part they both felt useless. If the Admiral was enlisting they wanted the chance too. Saul had spent half the previous day trying to talk them out of it and the other half making sure it happened after he gave in. With the help of Cmdr. Kaplan and Cmdr. Patel, Saul had been able to convince Orbit Patrol to instate both former pilots into the military branch. Like Bill, their rolls would be strictly advisory and largely honorary at best but the prospect made them both feel a bit more like they belonged and a little more like they had an immediate purpose.

 

At breakfast Blaze explained the swearing in ceremony to Laura and his parents. The three former Colonial Fleet members were scheduled to take their pledge over the weekend on Delta Station before the Officer's Ball. With the celebration and the download happening over the course of just two days there was a definite sense of expectation in the air. When breakfast was over Laura reminded Sharon that she wanted to speak to her privately. She accepted and Blaze showed them to an empty office before he and Helo excused themselves leaving the women to talk.

"Yes. Dreams, nightmares, visions…maybe? I suppose anything that can't be classified as your direct intentional thoughts," Laura clarified.

Sharon thought for a moment and shook her head.

"Madam Presi…Ms. Roslin…"

"Laura," Laura corrected for about the sixth time that morning.

"Laura," Sharon repeated, "As hard as this has all been, as crazy as everything feels, I just haven't been experiencing anything like that. I'm assuming from your interest that you have," She posed.

"Yes," Laura admitted looking down at the table.

"And what? You thought I might be sharing your nightmares again?"

"Something like that," Laura admitted with sheepish shrug.

"Am I in your dreams?" Sharon asked with a quizzical look.

Laura nodded.

"Yes but not like last time."

Sharon didn't know what that meant and as much as she wished she had more in the way of help to give she was grateful not to be plagued by such awful nightmares again. From the look on the woman's face Sharon could tell that whatever she was currently dreaming of wasn't any more pleasant than their frantic search for Hera in the Opera House.

"This hasn't been easy, "Sharon started. "The whole thing does seem like some bizarre dream sometimes. As sorry as I am to hear that they're disturbing you…I can't help but wonder…Do you think they could have anything to do with why we're here?" She posed. "I mean last time you…"

"I don't know," Laura cut her off.

Sharon frowned.

"Well, what are they about?"

"Honestly, Sharon, I don't even know if I could describe them."

The worst of Laura’s dreams was still the awful scene of the cylon resurrection tubs. She still had it so often and it was always more or less the same; bizarre and terrifying.

"And it's been happening since you got here?"

 


"Yes…No. Well, in a way," Laura stammered as she saw confusion grow on Sharon's face. "What I mean is they’ve changed. I started having these ultra real dreams right around the time I found out…Right around the time I learned about the children. When I learned about Katya. I dreamt of her at first, or the lab we were in…It seemed like false memories or fabrications of what I'd learned went on. I still have them sometimes. They haven't gone away. I still dream of her. It's just that now I have others too. Not long before you and Karl resurrected I started to have nightmares that involved all of us. They're always horrifying. I wake up in cold sweats and out of breath. They aren't like the dreams of Katya. Those…they…aren't much easier but at least I don't wake up petrified."

Sharon looked down and fiddled with her thumbnail trying to decide how much she really wanted to share.

"I have dreams about Blaze sometimes," She admitted.

"You do?"

"Yes. Now and then since I found out. I wouldn't call them nightmares though. Sometimes I dream of what he might have been like as a baby, as a little boy. Most often I dream of him getting to play with Hera. The hardest part about all of this is not being with her."

"You seem to be taking this all so well, Sharon," Laura said with something like admiration in her voice.

She never thought she would envy the woman in front of her.

"Maybe I am," Sharon shrugged. She supposed Laura was right. Ellen had said something to her the day that she told her about Blaze. She told her that cylon woman were different. Sharon wasn't sure what she meant by that but now she thought that maybe she was right. "Maybe it's because of what and who I am. Maybe it's because I've had to be the strong one for Karl. I don't know. I just know that wherever we were before this, our daughter was with us and I hate that we had to leave her," She said intently, "I truly hate it but I also know that finding my son might be the only thing worth being separated from my daughter."

Laura felt her heart clench as she thought of Hera. She could still remember holding her in Maya's tent on New Caprica. She could recall looking down at her sweet innocent face and telling herself over and over that she'd done the right thing by hiding the baby. Now she didn't know anymore. She just knew that she had to get the weight of the ancient decision off of her chest.

"Sharon, I didn't just come here to talk to you about my dreams," Laura confessed closing her eyes and taking a deep breath.

"What else can I help you with?"

"I'm not looking for your help on this exactly. I'm just asking that you listen."

"Listen to what?"

"To what I have to say about Hera," Laura said looking right into her eyes.

Sharon's face grew stern at the other woman's mention of her daughter's name.

"What about her?"

"Sharon, what I want to tell you is thousands of years too late and probably useless to you but never the less I need to say it."

"Just say it then."

"It's hard because I'm not even sure the right way to say it. If I were giving you a straightforward apology it would be so much easier but I'm afraid that I'm not."

"You're apologizing for taking Hera," Sharon guessed with an arched brow.

Laura hadn't rehearsed this. She hadn’t even been sure that she would have the nerve to actually bring it up once the time came but now she knew that she couldn't leave Sharon's presence without at least trying.

"I'm saying that I hate what I did back then. I hate that the circumstance we were each in lead me to make that decision. I'm sorry for the hurt and devastation it must have caused you. I'm sorry for the pain and toll it must have taken on you and Karl and most of all I'm sorry that you lost all that time with her," Laura paused to collect her emotions and pace herself when she felt her voice about to crack. "I know that this doesn't amount to anything now. I didn't come here expecting your forgiveness. I don't even want it because I still can't say I would have done anything differently. Who knows how things would have ended up if we hadn't all made the choices we did? All I can tell you is that you didn't deserve the hurt that came to you and your baby surely didn't deserve to be taken from her mother and I hate that I did that. If there's any sense of cosmic justice that exists this is it because I realize now what it feels like to have missed part of your child's life."

"No one told you she was dead , Laura," Sharon sharply added.

"I know. I know, Sharon. I didn't even know she was alive . These people…whoever did this to us, they took our children from us. They took something we'll never get back and I know that I, at least in part, did that to you and Karl and I wish things had been different."

Sharon studied Laura's eyes for a moment before responding.

"Do you really think knowing that you missed your daughter's childhood makes me feel better?" Sharon accused. "Do you really think I would see that as some kind of justice?"

"I don't know," Laura shrugged. " Maybe that's how I see it myself."

Sharon shook her head.

"Laura, I don't know if I ever stopped hating you for what you did to me and Karl but I know that I forgave you a long time ago."

"You don't have to say that, Sharon. I told you I wasn't looking for your forgiveness."

"You have it anyway," Sharon answered without missing a beat. "You've had it since I saw you in that Opera House and I felt the connection we had because of Hera. I was able to feel how much you cared for her well being, for her future. I felt it from the Six too. It was the way she cared for Hera that scared me. It scared me deeply enough that I killed an innocent woman, another sister who just happened to look like her. I was so afraid that my baby was going to be taken again but even though I was scared I felt the adoration the Six had for her. We may have all had different motivations but we were all desperate for one thing and that was Hera's life. I felt that back then. It didn't change what you did. It just helped me see why. That doesn't mean that I think what you did was right. It wasn't. Not even close. I just understood why you thought it was."

"You felt that? I mean…that connection."

Laura's voice was only a note above a whisper.

"Didn't you?"

"I don't know."

"Laura, don't you understand what Hera was to all three of us?"

Laura glanced off to the side trying to remember just what Hera had meant to her at the time.

"To me she was the future. She was whatever innocence was left in the world. She was everything we were fighting for."

"She was more than that," Sharon stated with a bold conviction in her voice. "She's why we were able to share each other's visions. The blood of the Six was the same blood that ran through my veins; the blood of one of my cylon sisters. My blood ran through Hera and hers ran through you, Laura. We were connected through more than just visions and dreams and apparitions. We were bound together by blood."

Laura's eyes stung with the threat of tears as she recalled the anxiety she felt searching for the child through hall after etherial hall, never quite able to catch up.

"I'm not sure I understand."

Sharon put her palms down on the surface of the table and chewed at her lip trying to think of how she was going to explain herself to Laura Roslin and if she even wanted to.

"Do you remember the myth of the Triple Goddess? From back on the Colonies?" She asked looking up at Laura.

"Sort of…I mean…I think I do."

Sharon chuckled under her breath.

"It was your frakking religion, not mine," She smirked. "I'll refresh your memory anyway. Remember how the theory of the Triple Goddess was represented by the sign of the waxing, full and waning phases of the moon?"

"Yes. My mother used to wear a pendant of that symbol."

"Three phases to represent one entity, right?"

Laura just nodded in response.

"The Triple Goddess did just that. The first goddess was called the Maiden; usually shown as Persephone. She represented enchantment, inception, youth, excitement and the promise of new beginnings. The second was called the Mother; usually, Demeter. She represented fertility and the giving of life. She stood for stability and power. Then there was the Crone; usually shown as Hecate. She represented wisdom, compassion, protection, guidance and the culmination of a lifetime of experience. They all came together to form one woman. The Triple Goddess showed the stages of life by using three different figures but in the end they're all the same. They're all the Crone, they're all the Maiden and they're all the Mother. I saw that in our vision. I saw three women, one entity trying to accomplish a single goal."

Laura arched her brow and tilted her head.

"Sharon, are you calling me a crone ?"

Sharon let out a little chuckle and shrugged.

"Excuse the term. Some call her the Matriarch. That suits you better."

"The Matriarch."

"Maybe you don't see it, Laura but I do. Ellen's trying to tell me that I'm the symbolic mother to the race that lives here now. Well if I am then so was Caprica and so are you," Sharon said putting three fingers up for emphasis. "Caprica incited the journey, somehow I joined the races but you brought us all home. These people, this conglomerate of a race, they may exist because I had Hera but they got here because you protected and guided us all. I saw your role in our vision. I understood it and after I did I had to forgive you."

Laura quietly shook her head.


"I don't deserve it."

"You do. It doesn't mean that thinking about what you did still doesn't make me want to snap your frakking neck. It's just the reason why I never did and why I never will,” Sharon explained. “Ya know, Laura… you’ve just met your kid but you've been a mother in some ways longer than you think," Sharon finished as she curled her three fingers back into her fist.

"I'm not sure I know what to say to that, Sharon."

"There's nothing to say. Not anymore. All we can do is be grateful for whatever it was that Hera brought us all."

"You're certainly right about that," Laura agreed.

Sharon's response was more than Laura could have hoped for. She still wasn't sure that she deserved the other woman's forgiveness. She just knew that she would be thinking of her explanation for a long time to come.

"So, are you going to tell me about these nightmares or not?"

"No. Not just yet, Sharon but you've given me a better idea of who I should tell about them and I'm grateful for that. Maybe once I get a better handle on them myself."

"So are you ready to see the Old Man in uniform again?"

"No," Laura confessed in a low voice as she looked down at her hands. "Not really."

Sharon gave her a subtle look of compassion.

"If it makes you feel better, it really is mostly just for show. It's not that I don't think we can contribute. I do. I just know that there isn't any way that they're going to let us help in the capacity we were used to. If it's his safety you're worried about then you shouldn't be."

"No. I guess that's not it. I guess I just thought that after all we went through he deserved the rest. When I first met him he was about to retire. He didn't get to. We finally got to rest…and then…we were brought back and this…this is just another reminder of what we were taken from. It's hard to see him willingly go into it again."

"He's a military man," Sharon said raising her chin. "Karl's the same way; born to serve. I understand it. I was made to be a soldier…but I do get where you're coming from. You still feel that pull don't you? That sense of how much better things were before you woke up here?" She surmise. “I feel it too. It calls me back every day but...I feel like I found a reason to fight it."

"Blaze."

"Yes."

Laura tried to give an empathetic smile but she knew it probably looked more pained than anything else.

"But isn't it strange to feel that connection with someone who you've only just met?"

Sharon shrugged.

"I felt a connection to Hera the moment she was born. In some ways even before. The situation is strange, yes but not the feeling. I remember it. Blaze is mine, same as she was."

Laura nodded. Sharon had come into this with an advantage that she just didn't have.

"I should let you get back to, Karl."

"I guess we'll be seeing you on Delta Station," Sharon said standing from her chair.

Laura pushed out her seat and stood too with a slow quiet sigh.

"Yes. I guess we will," She replied.

 

Sharon had been so open during their talk. Though some of it had been difficult to hear Laura was grateful. As Sharon offered her a polite parting smile Laura reconsider her leave.

"Sharon, wait...before I go there's something else I want to ask you about."

"What is it?"

 

Laura bit at the inside of her cheek before she forced herself to say the word.

"Projection."

Sharon scowled.

"Projection? Why?"

Laura's eyes went to the floor.

"Hera, could she…"

"Yes. Why?" Sharon said cutting her off.

 

Laura kept her eyes downcast.

"Well, Sharon, it seems that the last few years of my life weren't the only gifts that your daughter gave me," Laura answered, finally looking back up at her.

 

Sharon crossed her arms in thought.

"I'm not sure I know what you mean."

Laura began to wring at her hands as she tried to find the right way to explain herself.

"I know that Ellen explained to you how they cloned our bodies. Do you remember what she said about getting samples of our DNA off of Galactica?"

"Yes."

"Well, mine came from a blood sample that was taken after I was given Hera's transfusion."

Sharon's lips curled into a wry smile and she had to suppress the urge to chuckle as she quickly connected the dots.

"Laura, are you saying that you can project?"

Sharon couldn't help her amusement. Learning that the most notorious cylon hater in the galaxy had realized her own cylon abilities was just too good.

Laura noticed the look on Sharon’s face and couldn't help but be irritated by it.

"I'm saying that my daughter was born with several cylon attributes. She can read cylon centurions, she has some weak access to the stream and…she can project. From what little I know she was able to get a handle on her abilities. I guess it helped being raised by two cylons and Sharon I get the irony here, believe me, I do but I don't appreciate that smug look on your face right now."

"Oh, c'mon. Let me have this one."

Laura gave her a cynical smirk and shook her head.

"Forget it."

"No. No. Finish," Sharon encouraged.

With a huff Laura dropped her arms to her sides and continued.

"It seems that I might have a few of these abilities myself. I'm not sure if I did before and I just didn't realize it. What you said today does make me wonder. Maybe it's something new that came with this body. I don't know but…I can’t deny that it’s happening anymore. The other day I shared a few moments of a projection with Katya. It was an accident but I saw it. I think I saw one of Ellen's once too."

"It makes sense, Laura. Doesn't it?” Sharon posed. “Think about it. How far off is it from sharing those visions with me and Caprica? The only thing is, projection is voluntary. I mean I'm sure it's unsettling for you but I'm not sure how I can help."

"I just wanted to ask…" Laura paused reconsidering if she should really bring up part of a conversation that she knew had been private but it was weighing on her. "Bill told me once that when you came aboard Galactica you stopped projecting all together. He said that you didn't want to do it anymore because it made you feel like a machine."

Sharon nodded. She was pretty sure she understood what Laura was getting at.

"Yeah, I did stop," She affirmed. "I wanted so badly to be human. I wanted to be like Karl. I wanted to fit into his world," Sharon said recalling her first free days aboard the ship. She still remembered what it felt like to be out after living within her acrylic prison for so long. "For a long time I tried to be human until I realized that wasn't what was important. Helo helped me see that. I thought that I had made the decision to be a person instead of a machine but he showed me that I'd been a person long before I ever met him. It took me a long time to believe him but eventually I did. I realized that I didn't need to abandon who I was because Helo loved me cylon or not. He loved my soul."

Sharon watched Laura's face as it lost some of its color. She seemed to be deeply considering it all but Sharon could tell that she wasn't convinced. She made a quick but firm decision and reached over to grasp the other woman's hand. In the blink of an eye they found themselves standing together among a crowd of people. They were in the middle of a closed off city block. The streets were lined with vendor booths of all kinds. Some of sold fresh produce or flowers. Other's made hot fried foods out of carts. The air was perfumed with a mix of sweet greens and cooking oil. The voices of the crowd murmured around them peppered with the laughter of children and the horns from nearby city taxis.

"What do you think, Laura?" Sharon said squeezing onto the other woman's hand a bit tighter.

When she saw nervousness on Laura's face and she took her other hand making sure that she understood that she wasn't alone.

Finally Laura's lips curled into something close to a shaky smile when a man with a bicycle basket full of groceries road past them.

"I used to come here," Laura said as she looked around at the sights. "When I actually had the time, that is…" She added holding steadily onto Sharon with both hands. It was Caprica City's Farmers Market. When Laura had lived there she'd come down on the rare weekend mornings that she had free. She would stroll around the market; happy to do a little shopping and take in the sounds and smells. "I used to love it."

Sharon nodded and then broke the projection. When the empty office was back around them she saw that Laura's eyes were glistening. She squeezed her hands again in an attempt to bring her focus back. When Laura looked up Sharon tried to give her a comforting smile.

"Laura, I don't think that Hera gave you anything that you can't handle."

LOCATION: CYLON BASESTAR; approximately 400 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CENTRAL COMMAND CONTROL CENTER

YEAR: 2315

"Just do it, Margot!"

" Damn it, Ellen! Give me a fucking second! It's not like I've done this before."

" Hurry up."

"Shit, you're bleeding everywhere. Someone get us something ," Margot called over her shoulder to the minimal team she'd brought with her.

"Worry about that later. Just get it done," Ellen demanded again.

" Hold still!"

Despite her confident insistence Ellen's outstretched arm was shaking as Margot fed the fiber optic cable through the cut she'd made just inches above the woman's wrist. The metal chair Ellen sat on was cold against her thighs and it wasn't helping her tremors. She didn't care though. She'd offered to do this. She could have let Margot test it on herself but she wouldn't do that. She wouldn't let the girl go through anything that she didn't have to.

 

Margot was almost positive she'd come up with a secure safeguard to protect their guardian assets but she needed to do an isolated test first before putting Orbit security at risk.

"I don't need that ," Ellen nearly sneered as one of the engineers held a towel out for her.

"Just put it on the cot, Officer Rivera," Margot told him with a nod of thanks. The officer would be acting as her assistant through the test and though he was very helpful he seemed a little afraid of Ellen Tigh. "Could you be a little nicer to my staff? They're trying to help."

Ellen gave a short bitter chuckle.

"You try being nice with a half inch cable in your frakking arm."

"Got it!"

"About damn time! Can we get a move on now?"

"Yes. Let me help you up," Margot said as she gave Ellen a hand. She braced her as she held onto the cord's tether and walked her over to a cot that they had set up in the middle of the command center. "Sit down nice and easy, Elle," Margot encouraged as she helped her down on to the sturdy little bed. She grabbed the towel Rivera had discarded and wrapped it loosely around Ellen’s arm. The wound had started to clot but there was still a slow stream of blood running down the woman's forearm and onto the floor. "Officer Rivera? Could you get us one more towel please?" She asked. He quickly handed over another clean white towel which Margot rolled up and put at the end of the cot. "Alright, Ellen just put your head here, lay back and try to relax." The specialist helped Ellen to swing her feet up and carefully recline on the cot, jostling the cord as little as she possibly could. "Put your arm down by your side. Take deep breaths and try not to move it."

"Fine," Ellen said curtly.

"How do you feel?"

"Like there's a wire in me."

"I'm sorry, Ellen," Margot winced.

She'd offered to let Ellen conduct the trial and bear the brunt of the effects herself but she wouldn't hear of it. The Tighs could be so protective sometimes.

"It's fine. I'm fine. Let's just do this."

Margot nodded over at her team and kneeled on the floor by Ellen’s side. Two officers headed toward the control center's console and Officer Rivera stood at the head of the cot.

 

On the basestar console laid Margot's tablet. It was hooked up to an electronic splitter which connected to two cables. One fed into Ellen's arm, the other into the fluid of the basestar's stream.

Margot and her team had been able to replicate and then record the impeding bot signal that was being sent from the surface. The plan was to directly charge the ship with the signal and then test to see if the new firewall would in fact protect its components as they intended. Ellen was acting as a control of sorts. The signal would be directly charged into her as well.

They knew she'd likely go catatonic for the duration of the test. They were expecting it. They needed to make sure the replicated signal was actually working. They decided to go with the direct charge when they realized that they couldn't risk the safety of the raider's on patrol around Orbit. Amplifying it throughout the system was just too dangerous, even for ten minutes at a time.

"Alright, Ellen. You know how this is gunna go. In a second I'm going to have them send the replicated bot signal into you and the basestar. As long as you feel some effects we'll know our replication worked. That's how we'll know the ship's feeling it too. Once we confirm that then we'll start testing the ship's major functions. As long as they all work, we'll know the firewall is a go."

"I know. I know. I get it. We've gone through it fifty times. Time is if the essence."

"Okay. We'll get started then. I'll stay by your side the whole time. I promise," Margot assured as she put her hand over Ellen's freezing fingers.

"Margot?"

"Yeah, Elle?"

Ellen closed her eyes and blew a little stream of air threw her lips before answering.

"Don't tell Katya I did this today. She doesn't need to know how we tested it. Alright?"

"Yeah…alright. I won't, Ellen…Ready?"

Ellen nodded and squeezed her eyes shut tighter.

"Standby, team, "Margot called out as she looked down at her cuff. "Three, two, go!"

The room was silent at first. No sound was made when one of the engineers at the console clicked on the signal. For a few moments they waited, almost becoming disheartened. They thought that perhaps they hadn't replicated the signal as they thought. Margot was just about to give up when Ellen's eyes flew open and she took in a sudden, almost violent gasp of air. Her back arched off of the cot and Margot and Rivera had to rush to hold her down.

"Ellen?! Ellen?!" Margot called, as she patted her cheek trying to rouse her attentions.

Officer Rivera held her down at the chest and shined a dull beam of light into her wide eyes with his station cuff.

"Unresponsive," He said has he dropped his wrist and returned his hands to steady her at the shoulders.

"It worked!" Margot shouted to the other officers." Start the system check now. Do it quick!"

This wouldn't be like when the bots sent the signal. When it was sent through the atmosphere line it came and went like a wave. They never felt the effects for more than a few minutes. It served as just enough time to delay the raiders and give the airbots the advantage. Within the trial, Margot had set the replicated signal up to run continuously. They needed it to run until they could confirm that all functions on the cylon ship were protected. That meant Ellen would be out for the duration.

"Ellen…Ellen," Margot called as she squeezed her hand, "I know you can hear me. You're okay. Just hang on. I'm right here."

"Com systems, good!" One officer called.

"Hear that, Ellen? Sounds like it might be working," Margot told her with nervous enthusiasm. "I think we did it."

Margot felt sweat beading on her forehead. Watching the other woman's wild yet somehow vacant eyes was awful. Was this what she looked like when it happened to her? She knew what it felt like. It felt like being trapped inside her own body as it tumbled in a spiral. She could hear and see and smell and feel everything around her as the world spun by but there was no way to respond or react. There was no way to let anyone know that she was more than a shell. She hated to watch Ellen go through it. Margot prayed that Blaze and Alexi's reaction would never advance that far. They didn't need to know what it felt like. It didn't matter if lasted ten minutes or ten seconds. It was terrifying not to have control over your own body.

"Weapons control good!" Came another confirmation.

"Almost done, Ellen. I'll have you back on Alpha by dinner time just like you wanted," Margot tried to reassure her in the calmest voice that she could.

"Centurions and Raiders aboard good!"

Margot leaned over to pick up Ellen's other wrist but her body was so rigid that she couldn't bend her arm enough to read the vitals on her cuff.

"Rivera can you read that?"

The man leaned over and nodded.

"Heart rates a little high," He shrugged.

Margot expected that much. It was hard not to panic when you felt like you were trapped in a rotating box. The worst part was that they couldn't even communicate with each other through the stream. Margot couldn't read her and they couldn't exchange anything between themselves.

"FTL checks out!" Yet another announcement called through the room.

" Can we speed it up please? " Margot called over her shoulder.

"Almost there. Testing the launch pads now."

No wonder Ellen didn't want Katya knowing that she'd willingly went through this today. Margot hadn't realized how hard it would be to watch. Now that she could see what they looked like during an episode Katya’s paranoia made a lot more sense. She was glad that Ellen had decided to keep it between them. Now that Margot knew Kat’s secret she would do anything she could to keep extra stress at bay.

"Try and relax, Ellen. I know it's hard. Almost through."

"Le Blanc, her heart rate is still climbing," Rivera said glancing down at Ellen's cuff once more.

He could feel her blood pulsing through her chest as he held on to her. He knew the numbers had to be rising before he even looked.

" Fuck ," Margot swore as she wiped some of the sweat from her brow with her sleeve.

"It's not dangerous. Not, yet at least," He added.

" Speed it up! " She shouted.

"We have to test the spires individually," One of her engineers called back.

"If one works they all work! Let's pull it! " She snapped.

She knew that her response was fueled by her nerves and not her intellect but she just didn't want to do this to Ellen anymore. They’d never been under the signal’s effects for this long.

"It's one more. We should really be sure, Specialist," The officer argued.

She huffed and nodded. She knew they were right. Her heart sunk when she looked back at Ellen. Her eyes were stuck in a petrified state.

"Hear that, Elle? We're about to finish up. You just need to try and calm down. Okay? Please?"

"Still climbing," Rivera called out, looking down again at the vitals display on Ellen's cuff.

"Shit! C'mon, Ellen ," Margot muttered as she looked back at her. She couldn't take the look in her eyes. That was the scariest part for her when it happened. She hated being able to see everything swirling. She couldn't even blink or close her eyes to stop it. Suddenly Margot smacked her palm to her head. She should have known. " Shit, I'm so fucking stupid ," She swore as she walked on her knees to the head of the cot, trailing a smear of Ellen's blood with her. "Ellen, it's almost over but I'm gunna shut your eyes alright? Just for a second," She told her as she gently closed the other woman's lids with the pads of her fingers. "What in the fuck is taking so long!? " She shouted to the team.

"We accidentally ran one of the bottom spires twice. We're on the right one now."

Heat rose in Margot’s face and her temper surged in a way it almost never did.

" When I find out who the fucks fault that was you're off the project! Just so you know now!" She spit across the room. She turned back to Ellen and ran a finger down her cheek. "It's working Ellen. Just hang in there."

"Heart rate and BP are dropping," Rivera chimed in. "Started to steady when you shut her eyes. How'd you know to do that?"

Margot sniffed and cleared her throat.

"I know how it feels."

"Done. All clear!” One of the engineers confirmed. “All system functions operational!"

" About time! Shut that shit off!" Margot ordered as one of her teammates was already reaching to stop the signal.

"Signal aborted."

Ellen's body quickly relaxed on the cot and Margot no longer had to hold her lids shut.

" Ellen? Ellen? " She started. "I'm gunna take this damn thing out of your arm now. Alright?"

Margot knew that it would take her a second to come around and she knew this was always the scariest part for Katya. She said that she was always afraid that they wouldn't come back. Now Margot knew how it felt to be on both ends.

"This might hurt a bit," She warned but Ellen made no sign that she felt a thing as Margot began to tug slowly on the cable.

She slid the blood coated cord from the woman’s flesh as gently as she could hoping that she would react in some way. When Ellen hadn't moved or made a sound by the time it was all the way out Margot started to internally panic. Weren't they usually up by now?

"Um, Rivera, get me some disinfectant and the closure gun. I uh…I need to seal this wound up. Get me something to wrap it too," She requested trying to remain calm.

"Ellen? Ellen?"

There was no answer.

Margot checked her vitals again as she waited for the first aide supplies. They were stable. She should have been responsive.

"Nothing?" Rivera asked as he handed the specialist a bottle and some gauze.

She shook her head looking totally dejected.

"Ellen, this is gunna sting," She warned.

She was hoping to hear the woman start screaming and cursing at her as soon as the sterile liquid touched her open cut. Ellen didn't even flinch. When Margot was done Rivera handed her the closure gun and she sighed as she ran it over the slit on Ellen's arm. Margot traded the gun for a roll of tape and ran a few layers over the newly closed wound.

"All set," She said hopefully as she squeezed the woman's hand.

When Ellen didn't answer Margot slid onto her bottom and put her bloody hands over her face as she sat on the floor.

"What now?" Rivera asked, looking down on the Specialist.

Maybe charging her with the direct signal was too much. Maybe something about the close proximity changed the effects. Maybe she'd screwed something up in the signal's replication and made it worse.

"Now? Now Katya Isakoff is going to kill me," She muttered into her palms.

The officer walked away returning the supplies to the med-kit.

"Oh, she is not."

Margot shot up off the floor at the weak sound of the familiar voice.

" Ellen!? Ellen! " She shouted rushing to her side and brushing some of her hair back.

Ellen's eyes fluttered, adjusting to the ship's ever shifting light.

"I'm here, honey."

Her voice was groggy. It had taken a lot out of her but she was back.

"You bitch. You scared me," Margot teased as tears of relief started to flood her eyes.

Ellen laughed quietly.

"What happened to being nice to your team?" She chided.

Margot winced.

"Oh yeah. I just fired someone didn't I?" The young woman laughed letting out the last of her nerves.

"That's what it sounded like to me," Ellen said with another soft giggle. "My frakking arm hurts."

"At least you're able to tell me that. Just relax for a bit."

"I'm okay," Ellen said opening and closing her eyes slowly.

"You are," Margot agreed happy that it was true.

"We did it, hm?" Ellen said with a sleepy smile.

"Yeah…we did. I mean we're still pretty screwed but the ship, the raiders and the centurions; looks like they're safe."

"You did a good job, sweetie."

Ellen reached for Margot with her good arm and held on to her hand.

"So did you," Margot insisted. "Now we start trying to figure out how to help ourselves so that never has to happen to anyone again."

"Agreed."

Margot rubbed the tears and sweat from her face.

"What can I get you?"

Ellen squeezed her eyes shut tight and then opened them again.

"How about two aspirin, one stiff drink and a shuttle home?"

"You got it."

"Good girl."

"I just want you to rest here for a few more minutes. Okay?"

"Yeah okay," Ellen conceded. "It'll give us time to talk."

"I'm going to record a report before I head home. I'll send it to you as soon as it's done."

"No. Not about that, honey."

"What about?"

"I want to talk to you about what's going to happen after the Delta download."

"Okay…"

"You know what has to happen. Saul's supposed to permanently delete resurrection from my memory."

"And?"

" And I need you to make sure that he does."

Margot wrinkled her brow in confusion.

"You think that the Colonel won't keep his word?"

"No. I do, Margot. I just need you to help him. I want you to double check his work. You saw him trying to set up a conference call the other day," Ellen joked. "I need you to make sure it's really gone, that I can never access it again and I need you to make sure that no else ever can either. I've already been threatened to have my skull cut open to retrieve it once in my life. That was one time too many."

"Okay. I guess I can do that."

"Then I need you to do the same on the ship."

"What do you mean?"

"Our agreement with the EOC said that all information on resurrection would be destroyed or eliminated. That means the tubs, the download console and any ressurection information that was stored aboard the ship. This is where I figured it out. I worked on it here for years. The ship knows. It knows as well as I do. And you know how Lucy likes to hide things," Ellen winked.

"She sure does," Margot returned with a little laugh.

"You know this ship, Margot. You understand it. I trust you. As much time as Saul and I have spent here, I don't think either of us have ever had the same connection with it as you do. I knew it the moment I first took you aboard. You knew it too. You have to do it. It has to all be gone. I need you to make it so even you can't bring it back. Can you do that?"

"Yes, but…"

"But what?"

"Why does it have to be so totally eliminated?

"I've explained this to you, Margot.”

“But it’s ours. It’s part of of cylon history, of who we were and how we worked,” The girl challenged, upset that something to ingrained in the ship and the stream would be lost forever.

“Margot, death is the only thing that makes life matter. And people, be they human, cylon or some combination of the two, they just can't seem to resist the possibility of everlasting life. It's a fault in us all."

Margot frowned.

"And if something should happen? Something like this where it's needed again?"

"Then whoever's around to deal with it then can figure it out same as I did but it won't be us. Gone, Margot. Promise?"

"Yes…I promise."

"Good girl."

Margot swallowed hard. There was just something about wiping all of the brilliant woman's work clean from existence that made her sort of sad. Even so, she would keep her word.

"Hey what are you going to tell Kat about your arm? Just so I know if she asks."

"Oh I don't know. I'll…I'll tell her I burned it with hot coffee this morning. How 'bout that?" Ellen smirked as Margot rolled her eyes. "You understand why I asked you to keep this to yourself right? She's just been so worried. No need to upset her."

"Yes. I understand," Of course she understood. She understood more than Ellen knew. "I even agree but what makes you so sure that she's going to buy that coffee thing?"

Ellen leaned up from the cot slowly and gave a sly smile as she looked the girl dead in the eyes.

"Because, Margot," She started. "I'm a better liar than she is. I'm a better liar than all of you."

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR C

ALPHA FLIGHT DECK 1

YEAR: 2315

Katya's half shift as LSO was over. She'd just brought in her last shuttle and then rushed out of the booth and down to the deck to make sure that she was there to greet one of its passengers. She was annoyed at how long it took the crew to taxi it in but when it finally docked she didn't have to wait much longer. Almost as soon as she heard the cabin air release from the open hatch she heard his voice and it brought a huge smile to her face.

"Koshka!" Blaze shouted skipping the ramp and jumping to the deck.

He tossed his pack to the floor not caring where it landed and rushed up to her with open arms.

"Welcome back, dummy!" Katya greeted reaching for him.

When he hugged her he picked her off of the deck in his excitement.

"Blazer!" She shouted as he held her tight and let her boots dangle in the air.

"Shit!" He wore hurriedly putting her safely back on the surface. "Sorry, Kat. Crap. I shouldn't have done that. I wasn't thinking,” He scrambled, wincing at his careless impulse, "I’m an idiot. So sorry."

The captain shook her head and brushed it off.

"It's fine. Stop, Blaze. It's totally fine. Don't...I'm fine."

"I just got excited. You good?"

"Yes. Stop it. I'm good. I'm glad you're home," She told him with a light punch to his arm.

He feigned distress and grabbed his bicep as if she'd really hurt him.

"I'm glad to be home too even if it is just for a bit. I didn't want to go straight to Delta from Beta Station. I needed to get my formals anyway."

"We could have brought them."

"Yeah but were you gunna clean them first?"

"Blaze, that's gross. How are they dirty? When's the last time you even wore them?"

He'd worn them to a memorial or two over the past few months but he knew exactly when he'd had them cleaned last. It was for her wedding.

"Hell, I don't remember," He shrugged as he turned around to see one of the marines helping Laura off of the ramp of the shuttle. "Oops. Sorry, Ms. Roslin. I should have helped you down," Blaze said with a disappointed frown. He was usually so good about that sort of thing. "I guess I got a little over excited."

Laura thanked the marine with a smile and then looked back over at the two pilots. During their flight she’d overheard one of the shuttle pilots telling Blaze that Katya was waiting for him on deck. It was a pleasant surprise to finally see her up and about.

"I can see that, Lieutenant," Laura teased. "It's quite alright."

"Just haven't seen the Cap in a while," He said attempting to muss at Katya's perfectly pinned hair before she slapped his hand away.

"Good to see you, Katya," Laura greeted with a restrained smile.

The last time she'd seen her she was in the ward, skin pale, and with a tube in her arm. Now she looked bright and healthy. Her hair was pulled back and her crisp black and white uniform was neatly pressed. To Laura's relief she looked great. Two nights before she'd cried herself to sleep in Bill's arms after confessing her suspicion over Katya's health. She'd finally let him know what she learned from Tawny about their daughter's genetics. She told him how she'd come to find out about Katya's high probability of developing breast cancer. She told him how guilty she felt to have passed on something so awful, something that Katya would have to live in fear of her entire life even if it never happened. When Bill asked if she thought it could have anything to do with Katya's recent hospitalization she said that she wasn't sure. She was terrified of the possibility.

Laura told Bill that even if that wasn't the case she still had a bad feeling about whatever was going on. She shared all of the strange occurrences she’d witness during her visit in the ward; the strange exchange between Katya and Tawny and the emotional encounter with Dr. Xao.

Though Bill showed concern and took Laura seriously he'd tried his best to calm her down. He knew that most of her fear was probably internally fabricated and unwarranted. It was a tragic part of who she was but he knew that Laura lived in fear of losing those she cared most about. He didn't blame her. In her last life everyone she'd ever loved was taken from her in some horrible fashion. When she'd finally found him she was the one who had to leave far too soon. Now she had a child who was rapidly becoming the biggest part of her new life and Bill knew she had to be terrified that Katya would be taken away too. It was probably the biggest reason that she was so hesitant with her. Even so, he listened to her fears and everything that she'd been alarmed by.

He did what he could to talk it over with her. He reminded her that even if Katya one day did suffer from the disease, there was a cure available. He assured her that their daughter was young, strong and stubborn and though she might have to fight it she would surely survive it. He told Laura that Katya would be able to get through it all the better because she'd have a mother by her side who knew what it was like. After that he'd warned her that jumping to conclusions would only make her sick with worry. Laura felt minimally better after their talk. She was reminded of how advanced the system was when it came to medicine. It wasn't uncommon for people in Orbit to live past one hundred and fifty years old. Bill had made her question her paranoia but she still couldn't totally shake the worry. Though Alexi had assured Laura that her daughter was on the mend she'd been so desperate to see her ever since.

"Nice to see you too," Katya answered still batting away Blazer's juvenile pokes.

"You look well," Laura offered honestly.

She hesitated to say much more on the topic with Blaze and a dozen deck hands in ear shot. She wasn't sure who Katya had shared her ward visit with.

"Thank you," Katya nodded.

"I hate to leave you lovely ladies but I'm supposed to report to Kaplan ASAP. Where you headed, Koshka?"

"Back to my cabin. I have something I have to take care of later this afternoon. I was just gunna go home and hang out for a while before that."

"Lex work tonight?"

"No. He's meeting me this afternoon. We just have something we have to get done. Shouldn't take long. We'll both be free for the night. Oh, Ellen's back on the basestar but she promised she'd be back for dinner. She said to invite you."

"Great. We can all spend some quality time together," Blaze teased.

"You're so lame, Blazer."

"You love it," He scoffed as he turned back to Laura. "Ms. Roslin, breakfast was lovely. I'm glad we got to spend that time together. It was wonderful to see you," He said taking her hand.

When he looked like he was about to lean in to kiss it Katya grabbed him around the bicep and pulled him back.

"Alright. That's enough, Blaze. Go see Kaplan now before I tell him you're down here fooling around."

“And the warm welcome officially cools.”

“I mean it. Go.”

"C'mon, Koshka. You're as bad as the Colonel. I'm just being friendly," Blaze complained, shaking his head. "See you soon Ms. Roslin," He said with a more appropriate nod, though he threw in a wink at the end for good measure.

"Goodbye, Lieutenant," She answered with a soft laugh.

She didn't know if she was more amused that he'd tried to kiss her hand again or that Katya had stopped him. She watched as Blaze turned to Katya and put his arm around her again. They were so quick switch between banter and sweet interaction.

"I'm happy to see you, Kat. You look good. We'll talk later," He told her with a swift kiss to the cheek.

He'd been waiting days to do it. He felt so much better now that he could actually be with Katya and Alexi. They needed their friends now. When he let her go he turned and gave her a salute. When she returned it he picked up his pack and waved to both women as he rushed off the deck.

"He's a very sweet boy," Laura smiled as she looked after him.

"He means well," Katya added, watching Blaze disappear through the hatchway. "Well, I should get going. Glad to see you back safe," She said as she started to walk away.

"Wait a second. Katya?" Laura called before the girl could take more than a few steps.

"Yes?"

"I heard you saying that you were headed back to your cabin."

"Yes, Ma'am."

"Well, I'm just heading back to mine. I'm going that way. Would you mind if I walked with you?"

Laura felt like a nervous teenager asking a crush to walk her to class. She sounded ridiculous. She could hear it. She just couldn't pass up the opportunity.

Katya considered her options. She could tell Laura that she had to stop at the locker rooms first or give her any number of reasons why they couldn't make the trip together but her resistance was fading when it came to her birth mother.

"Umm, yeah…sure. I guess," Katya shrugged.

Laura tried to subdue the smile on her face as she caught up to the captain. With her security detail in place they started to make their way off of the deck. For a while they walked in silence.

Katya wasn't sure what to say to her. Alexi had let her know that Laura had asked for her the night of the meeting. He told her how concerned she looked. As apathetic as Alexi usually was about such things, Katya thought that he'd actually seemed touched. He also informed her of how Ellen had pulled him aside before the meeting and laced into him. If Laura was concerned then Ellen was beside herself. He told Katya that he didn't want to lie to her anymore. Lying to Saul and Ellen was wearing on him. He hated it. He told her that the Tighs didn't deserve it after all they’d done for them. It had taken Katya a while to convince him that they were still doing the right thing.

Katya figured that their current situation had inspired some extra sense of sentiment within Alexi but she wondered if his new demeanor had more to do with the fact that the Delta download was coming up. Alexi wouldn't talk about it but she knew that there had to be some part of him that was disappointed. He should have been next in line. He was number three. If Baltar's and Caprica's bodies had survived they'd all be headed to Gamma Station for the weekend and he'd be meeting his parents in just a few days. Instead they were skipping right to Delta and he'd never know the people who'd sired him. His peers, the ones that he'd always been able to relate to and count on to understand his plight in life would all suddenly have realized something he would never get the chance to. Even with the ever present chip that Alexi seemed to carry on his shoulder over who his parents had once been, Katya knew that he couldn't really be content with the way things had turned out. No matter how rocky her relationship was with her birth parents, Katya's heart ached for her husband knowing he would never get the chance to face his mother. As she walked beside Laura in uncomfortable silence she realized that she'd rather suffer through this than to have never gotten the opportunity to see Laura alive.

"You really do look well, Captain," Laura attempted with a friendly smile as they made their way through another hallway in the C corridor. "I'm glad to see you up and about."

Katya blushed a bit at the reference of their night together. It wasn't as if she expected Laura not to bring in up. There was just something about realizing how vulnerable she'd looked in front of someone she hardly knew. It made her feel exposed even as she walked with a proud posture in full uniform. Laura had seen her sick, scared and looking like hell. Any brave face or confident stance she could take would just be a show in front of the woman now. Saul took her seriously as an officer because he had to but Katya knew that Ellen didn't see a soldier when she looked at her. She saw the fussy child who wouldn't eat her dinner, she saw the teenager whose hair she held back over the toilet the first night she'd gotten drunk. Even Alexi just saw his wife under all the GI flair. She wondered what Laura saw now.

"Thank you. I feel much better. Glad to be back to work."

"You're fully recovered, then?" Laura prodded.

She was hesitant to ask and she knew it wasn't likely that she would get a straight answer. She just wanted the chance to gauge Katya’s response.

"Yes. I'm fine."

"I don't suppose you told Ellen yet?"

" No ," Katya said the word like she was trying to get rid of a bad taste in her mouth. " Why? What? Are you going to tell her if I don't?"

"No. No. That's not what I meant," Laura defended, "I was just…"

"Look, it's over. I'm a grown woman. Ellen doesn't need to know every little thing that goes on with me."

"I'm not suggesting that she does. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to imply that she should."

"So why ask?"

Laura felt her palms go sweaty as she struggled to backtrack. The girl had such a short fuse. It was infuriating and she would have lost her patience with anyone else.

"I don't know. She just seemed to be pretty concerned the other night when you missed the meeting. That's all. I didn't mean to insinuate anything. I didn't tell her a thing and I won't. I guess I was just making conversation."

"Well, can we talk about something else? Look, I appreciate that you spent the night with me in the ward. I really do even if I did a shit job of showing it. It helped but it's over. I'm better. Let's just talk about something different. Anything else."

Laura was a little startled by Katya's sudden irritation but wrapped up in her harsh request was an acknowledgment of thanks. She knew that for now she needed to be encouraged by her appreciation instead of allowing herself to be intimidated or irritated by her attitude.

"I guess since you're feeling better you'll be coming to Delta," Laura tried.

"Yes, of course I am," Katya answered sounding only minorly less annoyed. "And for the record I don't think you should be going but lucky for you that's not my decision."

Laura had heard as much about their trip to Beta.

"Saul says that you don't think it's safe."

"It's not but if he and Ellen want to risk all of their hard work and the future of this entire civilization then it's their choice. Who can stop them?"

"Who knows, Katya? It might not be a bad idea. I mean we really do need to see if we can start figuring out what it is we need to do here. The first step of that might be to finally be in each other's company all at once," Laura suggested.

She was glad that Ellen had come around and fought for their attendance. It felt right.

"Well I think that we should make sure that Sam and D'Anna are brought back successfully before that's attempted but that's my opinion. My parents don't agree. I'll be joining you anyway. I have to. Margot needs me. Besides, Blaze and I are participating in the commissioning ceremony for the Admiral and the Agathons," Katya added with a roll of her eyes.

"I can see you don't much like the idea of that either," Laura observed but Katya shook her head.

"Honestly, that doesn't bother me as much. Anyone who wants to swear their allegiance to Earth Orbit's protection get's a one up in my book. As long as they stay out of harm's way I don't mind. Maybe they'll have some valuable input. They've all fought a similar enemy before. I guess I'm okay with it," Katya shrugged." But…I can see that you aren't. Are you?" She smirked watching Laura's expression as they turned another corner.

Her face looked vaguely pained like she was trying to hide her distaste for the matter.

"I want Bill to do what's right for him," She affirmed.

Laura knew that she was going to have to do a better job at accepting it. Katya hardly knew her and she could tell that she didn't like the idea within moments.

"It's okay. I get it. You don't have to be happy about it. Sometimes I wonder why Uncle Saul ever officially enlisted. He could have helped Ellen on their end of things just fine without taking an oath. He'd already done so much for another uniform. I guess this is where he felt he fit best."

Katya wouldn't admit it to Laura but she was almost excited to have the chance to work with Bill. It was something out of her childhood fantasies. When her father died she was heartbroken. She loved going to work with him in the lab and learning everything that he had to teach her. At six years old she wanted to become the world's only ballerina-biologist. She couldn't wait to grow up and work alongside her father. Then suddenly he was gone. Saul became her new role model and then all she wanted to do was fly. Still, as she got older and saw Tawny and Dr. Xao working side by side she became a little envious of the father daughter duo. It was something she'd never get to do. It was something else that was taken from her. Now that she was getting to work with Bill a part of her felt like she was getting it back.

"I suppose," Laura said looking at the floor as they walked. She’d actually thought she was going to find an ally in Katya where Bill's enlistment was concerned. She was surprised at the perspective the young woman had shared. She was starting to feel badly about just how much she didn't want Bill to do it. It was her turn to want to change the subject. "I've heard about this holiday coming up. The lieutenant told us a bit about the banquet this morning at breakfast. Bill mentioned it before but I honestly didn't think he would want to go. Now that he'll be an officer in time I guess we'll have to."

"It's not so bad. It's actually one of the more pleasant things that happens all year. I just wish we didn't have to be on Delta for it."

She was still disappointed over missing Alpha's Officer's Ball but Ellen had convinced her that Delta's would serve its purpose.

"How formal is it?"

Katya looked over at her with an almost apologetic smile.

"Uhh, I don't think I stocked anything in your closet that would work."

"Oh."

"Don't worry…I'll bring you something."

"You don't have to do that."

"I know."

They walked through most of the B corridor in relative silence. A few times Katya turned around to yell at Laura's security detail for following too far behind. Laura couldn't help the tension that swelled within her every time Katya raised her voice. Though she knew that the captain was mostly just joking with the marines that followed she was just grateful not to be her target. She still so often thought of the night that Katya had thrown her out of the Tigh's cabin. Whenever she so much as scowled in her direction she remembered the crushing feeling of having her daughter look at her with such intense anger. She knew it was her problem. She'd never scared so easily before. She knew that she needed to get over it. Bill was right. If she didn't they'd never move forward.

"Well this is me," Katya said thumbing toward the hatch of her cabin door.

Laura nodded. She was disappointed that the walk was over so soon. She'd hardly had a chance to bring up anything she wanted to and she never knew when she'd get another chance.

"It was nice talking with you, Katya," She smiled deciding that she couldn't stall for the sake of stalling.

"You too. I won't forget about the dress," Katya said as she ran her cuff over the hatch panel. "Promise," She added as it clicked and she pushed the door open.

"Thank you. That's very generous of you. See you soon," Laura said hopefully with a little wave. That was it. It was all she was going to get for the day and it made her heart start to sink in her chest. "Oh, Katya," She called before the young woman could disappear inside her door. It was half a last ditch effort and half a true inquiry, "Just a quick question before you go. Would you be able to tell me where I might be able to get a haircut?" She asked with a sheepish laugh. "I've been here for over two months now and it's getting a little longer than I like. I thought that maybe before the banquet I could get it trimmed," She shrugged. "Saul took Bill to a barber at the Exchange Unit. Do um, women usually go there?"

Katya let the door close and turned to take a look at Laura's hair. It was a bit longer than she usually let it get back in the lab. It was sort of strange to be asked about it when she was the last one to have cut it.

"Please, don't let the military barber touch your hair."

"Well, is that my only option?"

Katya bit her lip and shrugged as she leaned against the hatch.

"You could go to the civilian side. There's a few salons. Some people even run shops out of their cabins but I wouldn't know who to send you to. I could ask around."

"Well who does yours?"

"Ellen."

They both knew that was out of the question on both ends.

"Well I just want a trim. Maybe the military barber wouldn't be so bad."

Katya shook her head emphatically.

"Unless you want a buzz cut or your head shaved clean, I wouldn't chance it."

Laura smiled and raised her brow.

"I've already sported that look once before. It wasn't my favorite."

Katya gave a tiny smile in return but the reference stung. She admired her mother for being able to joke about the illness but Katya just didn't like thinking of it. She knew that back when Laura was ill people suffered so much more. It made her grateful for the advancements they had in Orbit but it didn't make knowing what her mother had been through hurt any less. For the longest time Saul and Ellen had always just told Katya that her mommy had been sick. She remembered when Ellen finally explained it to her once she was old enough and told her about the gene that had been passed down.

"To be honest with you, no one has really touched your hair besides me for the past six years," Katya admitted.

Laura narrowed her eyes and tilted her head.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that I've been cutting it and tending to it since I was about sixteen; when the lab staff finally let me. Somebody had to. No one else cared. I mean they'd do it but just to make it manageable in stasis. That chamber liquid is a suspension fluid but still, when your hair got long enough it would just float everywhere. Once I was old enough I convinced them to let me take over. I started trimming it whenever you came out for exams or chamber maintenance. Nails too. I did it right before your download but it grows so damned fast. So does mine. It's a pain in the ass."

Laura was a little stunned to learn how she had cared for her back in the lab. Sometimes she forgot that Katya had all that time with her body before she was in it. It was strange to hear her talk about it with such familiarity.

"I...I didn't realize."

Katya gave a dismissive shrug. Why would she?

"I'd offer to do it but I don't know when I'd have the time. I'm a little busy the next few days."

Laura nodded.

"That's quite alright. I just thought I'd ask. I'll make do."

"Unless…" Katya said crinkling her forehead, "Unless you have time now?"

She was aware that Laura had next to nothing to do. She had the time. Part of her was just hoping that she'd say no. The other part was praying that she'd say yes just so she'd get to satisfy the strange desire she’d been having to touch her mother's hair again. Her own internal conflict disgusted her. She wondered if she could possibly be more pathetic.

"I thought you had an appointment to get to."

"Alexi is going to meet me here in an hour. I have time."

"You're sure?"

Katya nodded and waved for her to follow before she ran her cuff over the hatch panel again.

"As long as you trust me with a pair of scissors by your neck," She snickered as she pushed the door open. "Park yourselves," The captain ordered, looking over her shoulder at both marine guards. "She'll be out soon."

She held the door open for Laura and gestured for her to enter.

"Take a seat," She offered as they made their way in.

Before the hatch fully closed Katya was already hurriedly unclasping her tunic. She was so sick of wearing it. It had been bothering her all day. She would need a new one soon. When she finally got it off she threw it onto the sofa in disgust, finally able to breathe.

"You alright?" Laura asked seeing the sudden relief on her face.

She honestly hadn't noticed Katya's discomfort until it was gone.

"Yeah. I'm fine," Katya said, pulling at her station tanks, already desperate to rid herself of their confinement too. "Kitchen is fine. I'll just go get what I need in the head."

Once she left Laura pulled a chair out from the kitchen table and sat while she waited for Katya. It was strange to be back in her quarters. Their last interaction within the walls of the cabin had been so very tense. She could still remember how heavy the air had been between them. The shelf over in the sitting area caught Laura's eye and she noticed the matryoshka doll sitting in its place. She reached into the pocket of her sweater and gripped onto its missing inner piece. Though her first visit there had been a tough one she was still so glad she'd gone. She knew that she would keep that memory of Katya's nesting dolls with her as long as she lived.

Laura took a moment to look around the modest military home. It looked almost identical to the cabin she and Bill shared only it hardly looked lived in. Katya and Alexi hadn't been married for long but she and Bill had been around for far less time and their quarters had already taken on a sense of themselves. She supposed the couple didn't spend much time there. They worked so much and they seemed to frequent the Tigh's quite often. She was pretty sure they ate there almost every night. Laura scanned the kitchen and wondered if they'd ever even shared more than a hurried meal at the table. Everything looked new and hardly used. They kept it quite clean for such a young busy couple and it smelled like fresh station laundry and new carpet.

As she sat Laura wondered what Katya's room would have been like if she and Bill had raised her on Caprica. She wondered if like his old quarters there would be stacks and stacks of books piled up in every corner. She wondered if she would leave her dirty clothes all over the floor and forget to make her bed. Maybe she'd be neat and tidy; her school books tucked inside shelves, her jeans and t-shirts put away in drawers. Laura imagined a room fit for a young girl, with windows that she could look out of and daydream. She imagined pictures on the walls of prima ballerinas in tutus striking elegant poses and a blotter on the desk tacked with photos of family and friends, old concert tickets and little love notes. She imagined knocking on her door, asking if she could come in and happily being accepted. She imagined it was habit for them to endlessly chat about plans for college, love interests and anything that came to mind.

"You ready?" Katya asked, catching Laura off guard.

She hadn't even noticed her return.

Katya had changed into a more casual top and stretchy pair of black gym pants, appearing far more comfortable. Her own hair was now gathered into a loose messy bun, no longer tightly pulled back into place as it had been on duty. Laura thought she looked rather cute and far more approachable than she ever had in her uniform, flight suit or station tanks. She had a towel slung over her arm and her hands were full of supplies along with a halo dryer and a rather menacing looking pair of scissors.

"Yes. I'm ready," Laura smiled.

Katya walked over and set everything down on the table. She picked up the scissors and gave Laura an impish smirk.

"Sure you trust me?" She asked snipping at the air for effect.

Laura could hardly believe that Katya had even offered to do it. She was surprised but touched to learn of how she'd cared for her body's maintenance over the last few years. She was just so happy to spend any time with the girl that she hardly cared about her hair anymore. Kat could dye it Alpha Blue or Gamma Green for all Laura cared as long as she was speaking to her.

"Seems like you've been doing a pretty good job for the last few years."

Katya smiled, somewhat embarrassed that Laura now knew about the previous upkeep. It was worth it though, she thought. She was actually getting to touch her mother's hair again. Sometimes after she would give it a trim and dry it in the lab she would sit beside Laura and twirl a silky lock through her fingers over and over while she daydreamed and waited for the bodies to be put back in stasis. Sometimes at night she would lie awake in her rack and twirl at her own hair. In the dark it felt the same.

Abandoning the scissors, Katya picked up the towel from the kitchen table and shook it open.

"I need to dampen the ends. Mind if I put this on your shoulders?" She asked.

Laura just leaned forward allowing her to drape the towel over her.

"Thank you," She said as she leaned back in the chair.

"You sure about this?" Katya asked once more.

Laura knew that the girl was just teasing but she was anxious anyway. It wasn't that she was afraid that Katya might mess up, or because she thought that she might actually hurt her. She just still couldn't control her nerves around the young woman. Part of it was fear, the other excitement.

"I'm relinquishing control to you, Captain," Laura said with a little chuckle.

"10-4," Katya retorted with a little salute .

Leaning over to pick up a comb she knocked a brush off of the table. It clattered to the kitchen floor in front of Laura's feet.

"I'll get it," Laura offered but Katya stopped her with a gentle hand to her shoulder.

"No. Stay put. My fault."

When Laura felt Katya's hand on her she couldn't help the warm feeling it gave her. She felt so foolish for reacting in such a way but it was far more than just a small social gesture to her. She knew that just a few days ago the girl wouldn't have been comfortable enough to do anything of the sort. It was something so tiny but to Laura it meant so much.

As Katya moved back behind Laura she found herself hesitating. She'd trimmed her hair dozens of times but for some reason now her hands almost trembled as she reached out to touch her mother's auburn waves. It was so much easier when the head of hair had been essentially brain dead. With a deep hard breath she steeled her nerves and began to comb through. It still felt so familiar, just like she remembered. The sensation gave her a strange sense of recall and she shook her head trying to get past it.

"Am I sitting up straight enough for you?" Laura asked, trying to keep talking.

Her time there was limited and she didn't want to waste it. She would give her right arm just to spend even a silent day in her daughter's presence but there was so much she wanted to ask her. There was so much she wanted to know.

"You're fine. I'm actually used to doing this with you laying limp on a gurney with a tube down your throat so this might be the easiest time I've ever had," She tried to joke but Laura's lack of response told Katya that the reference to her unconscious form had made her uncomfortable. "You know, I used to do this for the Admiral too," She said attempting to make up for her misstep.

"You did?"

Laura was somewhat amused to learn that. She couldn't wait to tell Bill what his daughter had been doing for him all these years.

"Yup," She affirmed as she sprayed a little water bottle, wetting half the length. "It wasn't as fun as doing yours but I have to say the man has quite a head of hair."

"He does. It has to be where yours comes from," Laura said referencing their daughter's long dark locks. The observation made Katya pause for a split second. When they spoke Laura hardly ever directly acknowledged that she was in fact their daughter. It wasn't like when she talked with Admiral. The first time Bill spoke to her one on one he'd called her his daughter just five minutes into the conversation. Laura hadn't ever come close. Katya knew that she wasn't any better. They both just let each other dance around it.

"Ellen has always said it's a combination. She says the color is obviously Adama but that the thickness and weight had to have come from both sides," Katya chuckled under her breath remembering when she was a little girl. Ellen would painstakingly do her hair every morning only to spend an hour that night brushing out all of the knots after Katya spent the day making a mess of it. "I think she's right. It's actually heavy enough that it gives me headaches when I keep it up for too long. Ellen used to have a hell of a time getting it all into a neat bun for ballet."

Laura smiled, remembering how elegant she'd looked on stage the day Saul took her to the theater.

"I'm surprised that you keep it so long being in the service."

"Aunt Ellen would kill me if I cut it too short. Sometimes it's a pain. I always say I'm going to cut it short and I never do. I'm actually sort of proud of it."

"You should be. It's beautiful."

Katya shrugged as she combed through Laura’s wet strands.

"I always liked yours. I didn't know anyone else with quite this shade of red. When I was little I liked the way it floated in stasis. The lights in the lab made it look so bright behind the glass," Katya stopped herself when she realized how strange her description must have sounded. "Sorry. That was weird. I didn't mean to…"

"No. It's okay."

Katya bit her lip and continued to work. She asked Laura how much she wanted to take off and proceeded carefully.

As Katya worked Laura thought about what she wanted to ask her. She was there and they were alone. There was so much that had been on her mind and she needed to take advantage of their time together.

"Katya, may I ask you something sort of personal?"

"You can," She said after a beat. "I can't promise I'll answer."

Laura let out the breath she was holding. At least it wasn't a no.

"The nightmares you've been having, are they getting any better?" She felt the girl's hands abruptly still behind her. She obviously didn't like the question. "Because mine haven't," She added hoping the offered self divulgence would encourage her to answer. "In fact they're only getting worse."

Katya continued painstakingly trimming the hair she held in her hands as she thought. She'd had one last night. One where everything was spinning and she just couldn't stop it. It was awful. She’d woken up screaming. Alexi jumped out of bed frantic, thinking she was in pain. It was getting out of hand.

"They're the same," She said curtly. "They…won't go away."

Laura licked at her bottom lip and closed her eyes before she spoke.

"You know maybe it would help to talk about them. Are they about something specific? Do they change or do you always have the same ones?"

She winced as she realized how many questions she'd just asked at once.

"Why?"

"I don't know. I guess since I found out you were going through something similar I thought that it might help to talk about it. I know how horrible it can be."

Katya was sure she did. She remembered the state Laura had been in the morning she woke her in the ward. It was obvious she understood. Katya had seen it for herself. Even so, she didn't feel like sharing.

"I just…I don't really want to talk about them," Katya said as she picked up a comb and sectioned off another part of Laura's hair." It's not 'cause it's you. Don't take it that way. I don't even really talk to Alexi about them. When they're over I like to keep it that way.”

"It might feel better to share it with someone."

Laura’s persuasion was less than subtle. She wondered what Katya's reaction would be if she just admitted why she wanted to know.

"Ya know, there are just some things I prefer to keep to myself,” Katya answered.

Laura inhaled deeply. She’d expected as much. Who was she to judge? She'd hardly told Bill about her own nightmares.

"Yeah. I know. I understand."

"Ellen would say that I'm bottling things up but there are certain things I just…don't want to say."

"Ellen has a point, I suppose but I understand the feeling. I used to get around it by writing in a journal. That helped. I could write down everything I was feeling but couldn't say or didn't want to say or even when there was just no one to listen."

"A journal?"

"Yes. Well, nothing formal. I didn't do it all the time. On and off throughout my life, I guess. Once in awhile when I felt like getting something off of my chest I would put it on paper or type it up. Sometimes it helped. I think the last time I did it was on New Caprica. That's where we..."

"I know about the planet," Katya halted the explanation.

Saul and Ellen didn't like talking about their time there. From the little the Tighs had told her she figured that Laura wouldn't much like it either.

"Sometimes it felt awkward just to write things down," Laura continued. "It felt too much like I was talking to myself. So, I would write as if I were talking to Bill. I would write him letters that I knew would never be sent or read. Somehow it just came out easier when it was directed toward someone else. It helped me get through the time I spent on that planet."

"Saul and Ellen have told me how awful it was."

Laura winced knowing just how terrible it had been for the Tighs in particular.

"They've told you about that?" She asked.

"I know Ellen died there, yes," Katya answered solemnly.

Laura was quiet for a moment unsure of how to acknowledge what Katya just told her. She could hear the sadness in her voice when she spoke of Ellen's death. Though it wasn't permanent Laura could tell the thought caused the girl pain. She wondered how Saul and Ellen had ever shared their struggle on New Caprica with their daughter. Knowing your father had once taken your mother's life couldn't be easy to hear no matter what the reason. Laura bit her lip in thought. The little family unit was even stronger than she realized. For a moment she almost considered saying something about what happened between the pair. Something that would tell Katya just how strong Saul had really been, how much he'd really struggled; something from a third party who was there to experience it too. Then she thought better of it. She was trying to share something of her own with Katya. That was hard enough to do. She didn't want to stray from it.

"Bill was gone. I had faith that he would try to come back for us but I didn't know if he would make it. I just hoped and prayed that he would. To be honest even if I did have a way to contact him I really wouldn't have told him all that I wrote. I didn't write it to send it. I wrote down what I felt to get it out. I didn't really have anyone else to talk to. Saul and I had to stay sturdy and confident in front of the people so they wouldn't give up hope. I couldn't let anyone know the doubts I had. I didn't want to scare them. I don't think I ever told another soul what happened to me while I was held in cylon containment. It would have only made things worse. Poor Saul couldn't help it. Everyone could see the scars that were left on him. Mine were…easier to hide. I didn't tell anyone but I wrote it down and it helped."

Katya's stomach rolled as she heard the tone in Laura's voice. It was the same one Saul used when he spoke about the planet’s prison. She didn't know what happened to Laura on New Caprica and she had a feeling she didn't want to.

"What if someone were to read it?"

"I don't know. I guess it would depend on who did," Laura said pensively. "The pages were all lost during the exodus. It was just as well. Writing things down helped to get it all off of my chest but I'm glad that they were left on that planet. Nothing I wrote there needed to come back with me. I'm still glad I did it though. It got me through a lot of hard nights."

As Katya moved around to work on the front of her hair, Laura could see that her face was heavy with thought. She snipped and shaped around her face with careful and deliberate precision but Laura could tell that she was thinking of something else.

"Maybe I should try something like that," She said after a silent minute.

Laura gave her a small smile. She was pleasantly surprised that Katya would even pretend to consider her advice but she actually seemed sincere.

"Maybe," Laura said with a little shrug.

"Alright, let's see here," Katya squinted as she bent down a bit to survey her work. She took a few final strands between her fingers. "Adin…dvah…tri," She counted with the last few snips.

"What was that?" Laura asked with a curious smile.

"One, two, three," Katya smirked. "All done."

"You are?"

"Yes. Just let me dry the ends a bit before you look?" She requested.

Laura nodded in agreement.

Katya leaned over the table, discarding her scissors and reaching for the halo dryer. She could still remember teaching Laura how to use it on her first day out of Med Ward back when she still had no idea who she was. She shook her head. The Alpha download seemed like ages ago. It was hard to believe just how little time had really passed. She turned the device on and went to work drying the back first. She found herself enjoying the warm comforting scent that wafted up with the halo's air. She forced herself to ignore it after she realized that she was lingering in one spot for too long. She moved to Laura's side planning to run the front end's through once more but she suddenly stopped with a little hiss. Quickly she turned the dryer off and tucked it under her arm.

"Sorry," She said as she quickly moved to pull her wedding band off of her finger. "Hold this?" She asked handing it over to Laura. "Sometimes the metal gets too hot when I use this thing."

Laura held her hand out and Katya dropped the little ring in her palm. She could feel the heat that it was giving off as she stared down at it. While Katya pulled her hair through the dryer a few more times Laura examined the band. It was silver in color, light weight and delicately engraved with what she first thought was an intricate design before realizing that it was some kind of strange text. Laura wondered what Katya's wedding was like. She remembered when Ellen first mentioned it. She'd started to tell her about on her first day out of the ward but Laura had cut her off, uncaring and dismissive of the other woman's sentiment. Now it was on her ever growing list of things she'd give anything to get back. The dryer quieted and Katya exchanged it for a brush.

"This is very pretty," Laura told her as she rolled the band between her thumb and index finger.

Katya ran the brush through Laura's hair, calming the windblown look the dryer had given it.

"Thank you," She said moving to her side and continuing to work. "It isn't really a tradition for married couples in Orbit. It was generations ago but it's just another ritual that's faded with time and resources." She finished with the brush and sat it back on the table but continued to run her fingers through the length of Laura's hair. "Alexi and I wanted to get them because we always liked that Saul and Ellen still wore theirs after all this time. Their bands are true ancient artifacts," Katya giggled. "Saul kept hers even when she was gone and when she came back he had it for her to put on again," She explained as she forced herself to stop her hands.

That was enough. She'd gotten it out of her system. Katya leaned back on the kitchen table and lifted herself up to sit on its surface.

Laura gave a sad smile at the sentiment and looked back down at the band before holding it out for Katya to take.

"That writing is very interesting."

Katya took it from her palm.

"Oh, that's Cyrillic. It's our old text from the Eastern Federation," She explained as she slipped it back on her finger and looked down at it. "Alexi's has the same. He had them engraved."

After almost eight months she still wasn't quite used to wearing her ring. Sometimes its glint would catch her eye while she was getting ready for work or folding laundry and it still made her smile.

"What's it say?" Laura asked.

Katya blushed looking down at the shiny band.

"It's silly," She said shaking her head.

"It can't be that silly if it was important enough to engrave on something so special," Laura posed.

Katya nodded. She supposed Laura was right. It was sappy but she knew that she shouldn't ever be ashamed of it. She was proud to have Alexi as her husband.

"It says lechu k' tebe na kryl'yah lyubvi, I fly to you on wings of love," Katya translated as her cheeks and ears turned a bright shade of pink.

She couldn't make herself look up at the other woman until the heat in her face faded.

"That's beautiful."

"Alexi. He's more romantic than he looks. Sometimes he gets carried away."

"You two are so fortunate to have one another," Laura told Katya as she watched her twist the band around her ring finger. The fact that her daughter was married to Baltar's son had yet to truly sink in. He wasn't just Baltar's son. He was the son of a cylon Six. It really was a bizarre thought but she saw how much the young man seemed to care for Katya and how much she seemed to love him in return. "That ring is a precious symbol."

Katya finally looked up at her and gave a half smile in thanks.

"If you like them you could get a set made. It's not common here but there is still a preset on the merch printer. We don't use silver or gold anymore, though. They are mostly titanium," Katya explained.

Laura smiled at the girl's sweet suggestion and tilted her head.

"That's a nice thought, Katya but you do know that Bill and I were never married, right?"

"I know that but now," She shrugged simply.

"Now, what?" Laura squinted.

"Now that you are it might be a nice thing to do," She proposed crossing her arms. "Since you said you like the symbol."

"I do but I'm not sure that I understand."

Katya scowled at the other woman.

"To wear… yourselves ," Katya specified, narrowing her eyes.

Was she really not explaining this well enough? Had she slipped into E-Fed without realizing? Why was it so hard to talk to this woman?

"No. No I get that part but you said since we are now "

Katya's brow arched. She wished she'd just said thank you to the compliment and shut up.

"I know that it's just legally but you two obviously love each other," Katya rolled her eyes, tiring of the conversation.

She'd been told how much her parents loved each other all of her life. Why Laura seemed so bewildered was beyond her.

"Legally? Katya...are you saying that Bill and I are married?"

Suddenly Laura's confusion made more sense.

"Wait…Nobody told you that?" Katya grimaced. She could tell now by the look on Laura's face that there was no way anyone had. "Are you serious? " She said palming her forehead. " Fucking Saul and Ellen, " Katya muttered. Laura's eyes had doubled in size. "Look, I'm sorry. They probably forgot to mention it. You see how busy they are. They only set it up that way legally because it made it easier to join your credit accounts and have your security and military clearance linked. Plus you're living on the military side of the station. Cohabitation without a marriage license isn't usually allowed here. It was just easier this way. It's just a document stored on the network, after all. It doesn't mean much. Alexi and I only got ours because we wanted to live together," Katya continued to ramble as Laura watched her somewhat stunned. "I just figured that they had told you but I guess either they figured it wasn't that important or maybe they forgot or…Um, uh, can I please stop explaining this? I'm really uncomfortable talking about it," Katya finally blurted out with blunt honesty.

Laura's eyes grew even wider and then she shook her head.

"Yes. Yes of course. It's not your fault. I just…I didn't know," She had a flash of the vision Elosha had brought her on the rebel basestar as they jumped back to Galactica. She'd seen herself suffering, dying in Sick Bay as Bill and his children looked on. She'd watched him slip his own ring onto her lifeless finger and kiss her goodbye. It was the closest thing to a marriage she'd ever had/ "You're right. It's just a legal matter. I was just…surprised," Laura said somewhat flustered.

Surprised wasn't really the word but she didn't really have a word for what she was feeling at the moment.

Katya nodded and slid herself off of the table. She just wanted that part of the conversation to be over. She wondered what kind of grief she was going to get from the Tighs once her slip up got to them. It was their fault but she was sure they'd find a reason to yell at her.

"Anyway…You're all set," She said dropping her hands to her sides. "There's a mirror in the bedroom if you want to make sure I didn't do a hack job."

Laura forced the feeling of shock to the back of her mind but she didn't have to force the smile that she gave her daughter.

She nodded in response and stood up from her seat.

"This way," Katya gestured as she walked toward the room.

As Laura followed her through the doorway she felt sort of privileged. Katya was sharing an awful lot with her today. When she’d asked to walk with her back on the flight deck she never imagined that she would wind up in her bedroom. She was surprised to find it neat as pin like the rest of the house. The rack was made with military precision and there wasn't a loose sock or kicked off pair of shoes to be seen.

"Right over there," Katya said pointing to the full length mirror beside the doorway. "As long as you're here you might as well pick something out for the Officer's Ball," Katya suggested, heading to her closet and leaving Laura to the mirror.

Laura didn't know what she expected to find when she looked at her reflection but she found her smile growing when she saw that Katya had done so well. She hadn't just given her a trim, she'd given her a little shape and body that suited her well and she'd done it in no time. It was obvious that she was more than a little familiar with her hair.

"I really can't thank you enough, Katya. Where did you learn to do this kind of thing?" She asked as she ran her fingers through her locks and continued to admire the captain’s work.

There was a longer beat than expected before Katya finally answered.

"Um…Elle," She said as she reached out to the dresser to sturdy herself.

Kat suddenly felt so lightheaded. She wasn't exactly dizzy, just a little unsteady. It would pass but she needed a second. She quickly planted her feet steady on the floor and folded her arms on the dresser top before she let her head rest heavily upon them. She just needed to stay still for a moment.

"Well she must have been a good teacher," Laura beamed as she turned from the mirror. "You really did a great…" Her words went out the door when she saw Katya with her head down on the bureau. "Katya? What's wrong?" For a moment she thought the girl was just upset but when she didn't answer Laura rushed over. Something wasn't right. "Katya ," She called again as she reached out to put a hand on her back. She could already see that the back of her neck was flushed and she could hear her trying to deliberately pace her breathing.

"Just give me a sec," She mumbled into her arms.

"You should sit down," Laura told her as she ran her hand up and down her back. "C'mon, I'll help you."

" No. "

"Katya, if you're afraid that you're going to fall or faint we'll just sit down right here. I've got you."

" No. Just hold on ," She said more forcefully.

Katya’s own voice echoed in her ears within the little cavern her arms made. Laura was only trying to help but she couldn't focus on the other woman's voice and try not to pass out at the same time. She bitterly laughed to herself as she realized how perfectly the moment summed up why she wouldn't tell Ellen. If she did Ellen’s concern would become so damned distracting that she wouldn't be able to concentrate on what was important. She already had one mother on her back and quite literally at the moment.

Laura had a tentative hand bracing Katya at the hip. The other was still soothingly rubbing at her back.

"Please, tell me how I can help," Laura asked as she felt Katya's damp neck with back of her hand.

Katya shook her head and cleared her throat. Laura was expecting her to fall but she knew that she wouldn't. She was okay. It was already passing.

"I'm fine," She said, tentatively lifting her head.

She winced as the light in the room hit her eyes again but she forced herself to keep her head up.

"Let's just go sit for a minute," Laura tried to encourage once more. "Right on the bed."

"I don't need to. I just needed a second," Katya said shaking the fog from her head and slowly leaning up. "I'm fine now."

Laura wouldn't leave her side. She was so sure that the girl was about to collapse.

"Katya, please don't be stubborn about this."

" I'm not . Do you think I want to end up on my ass? I don't need to sit." She turned around and made a show out of taking her hands off of the dresser. "I'm not going to fall. You can back up so I can breathe," She said, gesturing between their close proximity.

Laura did so hesitantly. When she stepped back she looked Katya up and down. She did in fact seem a good deal better, though a little flushed but something wasn't right.

"Katya, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," She shrugged. "All better."

"Sit and I'll get you some water."

"No and no thanks."

Laura’s concern was starting to mix with her frustrations.

"Don't you think that's important after just being hospitalized for frakking dehydration?"

Katya let out an exasperated sigh. She didn't like the suspicion in Laura's voice.

"I'll get some in a sec. Okay?" She appealed before reaching to slide the closet door open. "Where was I?" She mumbled to herself as she started to look through the rack of clothes.

Laura shook her head in near disbelief.

"Katya, what just happened to you?"

"I got lightheaded," She deadpanned. "What? That's never happened to you before?"

"Not when I was a healthy twenty-two year old," Laura countered, crossing her arms.

"Huh," Katya gave a caustic chuckle as she slid some hangers down the rack, "Guess you were in better shape than I am."

"That's not funny,” Laura bit back as the girl continued her hunt in the closet. “Katya? Katya would you please just look at me?"

"I told you that I was going to find you a dress. That's what I'm doing," She said trying her best to ignore the woman's concern and appear as composed as possible.

Katya knew that she was already screwed when it came to Laura Roslin. She already knew too much and she was too smart to fool. She'd already seen her feeling sick too many times. Katya knew that she wasn't going to be able to deny that something was up anymore. As she sectioned off the dresses in her closet she considered her options. It was a shame but she’d have to force her to back off.

"Katya, I'm asking you what's wrong. What's really wrong? Not what just happened here, what's causing it? Why were you really in the ward the other day? Please? You can tell me. If you're really afraid that I'll tell Saul and Ellen I promise you I…"

" Look, Laura ," Katya whipped around to face her faster than she should have and she had to take a moment to squelch down the faint nausea that threatened to rise. "I'm going to be real honest with you right now and I don't want you to take offence to it but if you do I can't really help that," She stated as she watched Laura's jaw go a little slack. "I don't want you to breathe a damn word about any of this to anyone. Not just Ellen, anyone at all . And I want this to be the very last time you ask me about it."

"Katya…"

"I mean it. You need to back off. This is none of your business. So tell me; can you respect my privacy or not?"

Laura inhaled deeply. Her eyes burned but she forced the tears away. She knew this was going to happen. She knew that she was going to push too hard and have it wind up backfiring.

"Yes," She nodded reluctantly.

"Thank you," Katya said forcing a smile as if it would change the mood in the room all on its own. "Now let's get back to business," She sighed, flipping through some clothes and pulling out the dress she'd worn to the Officer's Ball last year. She turned to hold it up for Laura but the look on the woman's face seemed totally devastated. "Damn it, Laura. You look so so...sad. Can’t you just forget about it so we can move on?"

Laura licked at her lips.

"I can stop asking, Katya but…I can't stop worrying. I'm sorry."

Katya pressed her lips together.

"You're really that worried about me?"

"Yes."

" Why? "

"You're obviously not well."

"No, no. I mean why ? You don't know me from a damn hole in the wall. I'm not even nice to you. Why are you so worried about me? Why do you care?"

Laura swallowed down the lump in her throat.

"I don't know. I just do. I can't help it anymore," She admitted.

It was the honest truth. She hadn't meant to start caring. It just happened. She couldn't explain it to Katya if she tried. She couldn't even explain it to herself. ‘I don’t know’ was the only honest answer she had and surprisingly Katya seemed to accept it. There was almost a look of understanding that formed in her eyes as she looked back at Laura.

"Oh," Katya said in a low voice as she looked down to fiddle with the straps of the dress she held. "I worry about you too sometimes."

"You do?"

"Yeah," She nodded. "For lots of reasons."

"Well…why do you care?" Laura countered.

"I don't know. I just do. I've never been able to help it," Katya smirked. She held the little simper of a smile until Laura gave her the echo of one in return." I promise everything will be alright, one way or the other," She offered simply. "Okay?"

Laura knew that she needed to accept it. She had to. Katya was an grown intelligent adult who should be trusted when it came to her own health. The problem was that Laura had been a grown intelligent adult too when she'd lived in denial for months, letting her body become sicker and sicker because she couldn't find the drive inside to care for herself.  

As much as Laura didn't want to she gave Katya a small relenting nod.

"Good,” Katya nodded. “So, do you like this?" She asked holding up the dress and giving it a little shake, "If we're going to Delta, might as well wear purple."

Laura did her best to give a faint smile and cocked her head to the side.

"It's a little short."

"What? It is not," Katya scoffed in faux-offence. "I can tell that your mother was nothing like Ellen Tigh," She winked and put the dress back into the closet.

"No. She sure wasn't."

Katya rummaged through the closet a bit more before pulling out another selection. She didn't have much. Most of what she wore to past events was recycled in the printer and turned into something new. She only kept things that she really liked or that had some kind of special memory attached to them. The majority of the time she was in uniform for special events. She'd even been married in her duty formals. She wished she had more to offer. Pulling out one more dress she turned and held both out for Laura to see.

"Either of these grab you?" She teased.

"Katya, you really don't have to do this. It's very sweet of you to offer but I'll figure something out."

"Okay, so these are a no," She laughed, putting both back.

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to seem ungrateful and I don't mean to insult your taste. They're all so pretty. I'm just not sure they're…age appropriate," Laura said getting a louder giggle from Katya, who was leaning further and further into the closet. Laura was still so afraid she was going to fall. She seemed better but she'd also seemed completely fine moments before she became faint. The only thing that was easing her fear was the unfamiliar sound of the girl's laughter. "What's so funny?"

"You and Ellen," Katya answered, her voice muffled by the enclosed space.

"What about us?"

"You're just so different. I mean, you two are about the same age, right? I mean physically, at least. I know she's got a few thousand years on you. She steals my clothes and I can't give them away to you," Katya mused shaking her head.

"I don't mean to be picky."

"Just cool it. I'm not done looking."

"What are you planning on wearing?"

"Ellen ordered me something last night. It didn't come yet."

"That pink one is very pretty," Laura said noticing a particular dress that Katya kept overlooking.

"It's Tawny's. I'd offer it to you but she doesn't even know I have it. I took it like five months ago and I'm still trying to figure out how to get it back in her closet without letting her know I had it. Right now the plan is to wait until she takes something of mine without asking so we're even. She acts like I'm the only one who does it but she's no better."

Laura had heard the doctor complaining about both Tigh women and their borrowing habits.

"You ladies are as bad as my sisters and I were."

"You had sisters?" Katya asked flipping through the same rack for a second time.

"Yes. Two younger sisters. Cheryl and Sandra. They took my things without asking all the time."

"I always sort of wished I did…or a brother," Katya admitted, still poking around toward the end of the rack. "Tawny's been a good big sister though. Ha! Found it!" She said, snatching the garment off of hanger. "Kaplan had a big birthday party last year. The commanding officers threw it for him. We held it on the other side of the station and they let us wear civilian clothes as long as they were, ya know…conservative. This tasteful enough for you?" She asked holding up a knee length burgundy wrap dress. "It's got a decent slit up the side but it's nothing you can't pull off."

Katya could tell that Laura liked it before she even answered and she was actually a little pleased with herself for finding it.

"Yes. Yes, Katya that's perfect," Laura answered with a gracious smile.

"Then it's yours," Katya said, handing it over, "I don't know how perfect it is though. I think one of those bitches took the shoes I wore with it," She scowled, scanning the bottom rack of the closet.

She made a mental note to search Tawny and Ellen's rooms when she got the chance.

"That's just fine," Laura assured her with a bemused grin. "I'll work on that part myself. You've done more than enough. Really, thank you."

"Yes, Ma'am," Katya nodded closing the closet door.

Laura followed as Katya left the bedroom and returned to the kitchen.

"I should really help you clean this mess," She said looking over the sight.

The cabin was near spotless before. Now her hair covered the floor and the kitchen table was a bit cluttered.

"It's fine. I'll get it."

"The floor is a mess. Just let me help. I really don't think that you should be bending over right now."

Katya rolled her eyes and huffed at the reference to her spell.

"Then I'll make Alexi do it. He'll be home any second."

"At least let me stay until he gets here. Just in case."

"In case of what ?"

Katya said it like she was daring her to answer.

"In case it happens again,” Laura said bravely stepping to challenge.

"You just agreed not to bring that up."

"I didn't ask you anything," Laura argued. "I'm just offering to stay until someone else gets here."

"And I'm turning down the offer."

Laura steeled her will. She just couldn't leave Katya alone after witnessing how she could become so sick so suddenly.

"I don't want to leave you by yourself," She asserted with some firmness to her voice.

"Are you refusing to leave?" Katya scowled but Laura just shrugged with rather stubborn look on her face. "And what if I just tell you to get the hell out?"

"Are you?" Laura challenged.

Katya stared at the other woman for a few moments in minor disbelief. Was she daring her to make her leave? Where was she getting the nerve all of a sudden?

Laura looked back at Katya for what felt like ages waiting to see if she would really throw her out. Her gut instinct said that she wouldn't.

Both women's eyes shot toward the doorway when the tell tale sound of the hatch panel clicked and the door pushed open.

" Myshka ," Alexi called before he even looked up.

"Happy now?" Katya said through her teeth, glowering back at Laura.

"No," She answered, shaking her head. " I'm just relieved."

"Oh," Alexi said, surprised to see Katya standing with the other woman. "Privyet, ladies. Am I interrupting?"

"No," Katya said flatly.

"Hello, Ms. Roslin," He greeted as he walked into the kitchen.

"Good to see you, Sergeant."

"Myshka," He said bending down to kiss his wife on the cheek.

"Privyet, malysh," She whispered in return.

Alexi surveyed the area noticing the scattered red hair on the floor and everything that still sat upon the tabletop.

"Looks like you girls were having some fun," He observed.

Either that or his wife had torn the other woman's hair out. He couldn't tell. The air in the cabin was odd.

"Ms. Roslin was just leaving," Katya said eyeing her mother.

"Yes, I was," Laura added, giving her a short glare in return before smiling at the sergeant.

"Lex, do me a big favor and help me vacuum this up. I need to walk Ms. Roslin out and then we need to get going."

"Yeah, sure thing, Kat," Alexi nodded. "Nice to see you, Ms. Roslin."

She nodded in return as Katya moved to guide her toward the door.

When they got to the hatch Katya paused. She heard the low hum of the cabin-vac come on as Alexi went to work clearing the floor. Confident that he was preoccupied she turned to Laura and shrugged.

"Look, I just want you to know that you don't need to worry about me."

Laura looked down and dropped her shoulders.

"I don't think I can stop, Katya. I'll work on minding my own damn business but I'll still be worried."

Katya ran a frustrated hand through her hair.

"Well, what can I do to help? I mean besides the obvious."

Laura shook her head.

"Nothing. It's my problem."

Katya didn't want her to leave like this. It felt sort of nice to see how much Laura really seemed to care. She just wished she hadn't realized it this way.

"I don't expect you not to tell the Admiral. I'm sure you’ve already told him about the ward. I understand that. He's your husband after all," Katya teased trying to lighten the air. She smirked when Laura's eyes grew again and her cheeks turned red. " I can’t ask you to keep things from him but please make sure he doesn't mention anything to Uncle Saul. I'm going to settle everything in a week or so. Alexi and I just need to do it on our own."

Laura cleared the emotion from her throat and looked to the side. What could she do?

"I understand."

Katya nodded in thanks and then slowly reached up to run her fingers through a lock of Laura's hair that hung over her cheekbone.

"Looks good," She said with an unsure smile.

"Thank you for doing that. For all of this," Laura said gesturing with the arm that the dress was draped over. "It means...It means so…"

"Don't mention it," Katya interrupted. She didn't know if she'd stopped her to save her from stumbling or because she didn't want to hear what she was about to say. "I wouldn't have done it if I didn't want to. I'll um, see you on Delta."

Laura nodded and frowned as she turned toward the door. Now she wouldn't Katya her again until they were both miles away on the other station. She was growing to hate the chunks of time they went without seeing each other. She hated never knowing when they would even speak next. Their interactions were strained, awkward and totally unpredictable but even so Laura was starting to crave them.

"Katya?"

"Yes?"

"You asked before what you could do…so that I'd worry less," Laura started, hating how insecure her voice sounded. "Maybe...maybe you could just let me know that you're alright now and then?" She shrugged. "Maybe don't be such a stranger?"

Katya looked down at the floor and bit her bottom lip. After a moment of thought she reached for Laura's left wrist and gently wrapped her fingers around her cuff.

"We both wear one of these. Maybe we could put them to better use."

When she looked back up at Laura she could see that her eyes were wet. She gave her wrist a light squeeze and let it go.

"Kat," Alexi called as the sound of the cabin-vac ceased. "We really do need to get going."

Katya looked at him and then back at Laura.

"Thanks again, Captain," Laura smiled as her daughter opened the hatch and held it for her. "Take care of yourself."

"I will…I am," Katya answered as she watched her mother walk off with her guards.

When she closed the hatch she felt like throwing herself to the floor.

"My life is fucking exhausting," She whined as she made her way to the sofa and flopped down.

"C'mon, Katya. We need to go,” Alexi told her. “Is that what you're wearing?"

She scowled at him.

"No. I just had to get my damn uniform off. I couldn't breathe all day."

"I told you to get a new one."

"I don't need a new one."

"C'mon Katya, go change. We'll be late."

"I'm so tired," She moaned into one of the pillows.

"This was your idea, Yekaterina. I hate lawyers."

"It's important, Lex. We have to do this."

"Then let's go. Tawny knows what time to meet us, right?"

"Yes," Katya said wincing as she stood up, "She'll be there."

"Well she's going to beat us there," Alexi complained.

"I didn't know I was going to be dealing with my mother this afternoon," She grumbled as she trudged toward the bedroom.

"Alright, alright. Let's just go so we can get this settled at least."

"I'm going, I'm going," Katya drawled with a huff. "Hey Lex, do me a favor?" She asked as she leaned on the doorway of their room, "Tonight at dinner don't tell Aunt Ellen that Laura was here okay?"

Alexi rolled his eyes. He knew that Katya didn't want to make Ellen feel badly but the list of things they were actually allowed to talk about with family was getting smaller and smaller.

"Fine, Katya. I'll add it to our list of lies," He answered with some contempt.

"Zatk'nis, Alexi! Screw that. I don't need you to make me feel worse about it. Why are you being such a jerk?"

Alexi sighed and rubbed at his eyes. He was frustrated. Precautionary or not he didn't like what they were about to go do. A living will seemed so morbid. Things were piling up. Everything was getting to him and he didn't mean to make it any harder on her.

"Prasti minya, Yekaterina. I'm sorry. I am. Really, I am. I won't tell her," He relented with an apologetic look. "But tell me something, Kat?

“Dah?”

“There’s hair all over the damn place, Roslin left with a something on a hanger and you two looked like you were about to hit each other when I walked in the door.  What in the hell went on here today?”

Katya shrugged her shoulders and shook her head at a loss.

"I don't even know."

LOCATION: DELTA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

DELTA MILITARY LABORATORY FACILITY

YEAR: 2315

The hollow sound echoed in the sparse laboratory. Every time its rhythmic beat hit the floor Margot could hear it reverberating off of every solid surface that surrounded her.

"Please don't bounce that in here," Came a woman's warning voice from across the chilled room.

"Sorry Doc," Margot said to the annoyed Delta lab attendant.

"It's a little late for you to be in here, Margot," The woman added.

"I know. I'm sorry. I'm going soon."

The doctor nodded and went back to her work leaving Margot to stare at the stasis chambers in front of her. She tucked the new pyramid ball under her arm and balled her hands into fists trying to fight the urge to play with it. She'd been bouncing the damn thing all over the station since it came out of the printer. The day before on the basestar had been taxing. Even after Ellen left, Margot and her team stayed aboard late into the night making sure that everything was properly implemented. When she finally returned to Delta she was grateful that her personal leave would be starting in the morning. Saul had sent her a message on her cuff telling her to take it easy and play some ball. If he hadn't done it she thought that she probably would have forgotten about her silly little idea all together. Ordering the ball had been the first thing she'd done in the morning and it hadn't left her hands for more than a few seconds at a time since it came out of the printer. Her mother was being distant. She didn't know if it had to do with the coming download or if they were both just so busy that they didn't have time for one another. Margot knew that she should care more but the fact was that she didn't. There was so much else that she was thinking of. Now that her job was at least partly done she had time to reflect on the coming weekend. Though she'd secured most of their critical cylon factions the reality that she and the others were still vulnerable to the offending signal was still on her mind. She knew that she needed to help Ellen figure out a way to guard them all. Watching Ellen suffer the effects during the basestar test was enough to convince Margot that she didn't want to go through it again herself. For now though, at least for a few days, she just wanted to push it all aside. Ellen would be taking Sydra along again as her assistant for the download. Margot was excited. It would be the first time that she would get to show Sydra around Delta Station. She was so glad that they'd get to attend the station's Officer's Ball together on Unity Day. She hoped it would be a welcome distraction. By the next day her birth parents would be conscious and soon after that she hoped she might be able to tell them who she was.

Margot watched Sam Anders floating in the depths of the stasis fluid. By morning the lab staff would start depressurizing the tanks and in forty-eight hours or so the bodies would already be on life support. Margot knew Saul and Ellen's story well enough. She knew how Sam had warned them about what was to come as they gathered the samples that they needed from the old battlestar. She wondered if there was any way he would remember. She wondered if there was any possibility that he might recall what he'd told them, that he'd be glad that they had kept their promise and brought them all back. Even if that was the case Margot knew that she'd never been part of the deal. She wasn't supposed to be there. No matter what his reaction was to his resurrection he'd still be learning that he had an adult daughter, created without consent with a woman who wasn't his wife.

Sometimes Margot thought that D'Anna almost looked like she was smiling in stasis. The corners of her mouth seemed to naturally curl upward just enough to make her look at peace within the cold clear case. She didn't know much about the woman in front of her. Saul and Ellen seemed to know so much less about her than they did the rest. It was mostly the Colonel who shared bits and pieces. When they found that they wouldn't be able to clone the woman they called Kara Thrace it was the Colonel who insisted they use D'Anna instead. He said that she was special. He said that she saw things others didn't and he said that she never got to finish her mission. Margot wasn't sure what he meant by that but she knew that Katya believed it too. She always said that her uncle saw something in the cylon woman and that he believed she was supposed to be here. Margot was never as confident as her friend. She just hoped that Tigh was right. She didn't know the woman but she didn't think she deserved to feel like a failure for a second time.

What Margot knew for sure about D'Anna was mostly clinical; things her mother had shared about her two main subjects. She knew that it had taken her mother three tries to clone D'Anna successfully. She knew her height, her weight and she knew that when her eyes were open they were a beautifully icy shade of blue. Margot knew that her own conception was a challenge. Her mother had shared how she and her staff went through three embryos until a viable pregnancy finally took hold. She also knew how little time she'd actually spent with her birth mother. She knew that she was delivered and transferred to a gestational chamber at just twelve weeks; the earliest it could be safely done. Her mother said that it was for convenience, that she was being mindful of the body she was using but the older Margot got the more she just found it cold an unnecessary. D'Anna's body was healthy. She wasn't about to get up and go anywhere. What was the rush? Sometimes Margot thought she was just being irrational and bitter. Sometimes she thought she just wished that she'd had more time with her real mother even though neither of them would have known it. She knew that it was silly but so often she found herself wishing she'd been sheltered and protected just a little bit longer from the strange and harsh world she'd been born into. She’d started off life so very alone.

Margot didn't know who she would meet when the people before her woke up. She didn't know if they would be afraid and reluctant like Roslin or if they would be welcoming and accepting like the Agathons were trying so hard to be. Maybe they'd be somewhere in the middle like the Admiral. Maybe they'd be cold and distant like her mother. She didn't know and as she stood there she realized that it didn't matter. She was just relieved that she was finally going to find out.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 126B: ASSIGNMENT; ROSLIN/ADAMA

YEAR: 2315

"They're going to take us there separately," Bill told Laura from his side of the dinner table. "We'll each go in our own shuttle with our own security and a companion. Saul said Sergeant Petrov will most likely be yours," He explained, poking at the rest of the food on his plate. "You'll make two to four stops at intermittent pods between the stations before finally docking on Delta Station. It's so the influx of heavily raider guarded traffic coming into the quadrant won't be noticeable to any enemy surveillance.”

"Bill did you know that we’re married?"

" What ?"

Bill's head snapped up at the jarring question. He didn't even know if he'd heard her right.

"Did you know that we are married?" Laura asked again as bluntly as she had before.

Bill had no idea where her question had come from. He'd gotten the vague idea that she wasn't fully listening to him but he never expected her to come out with that. He didn't quite understand what she was asking. Maybe it was just the way she was asking it.

Even now he so often thought of slipping his ring on her still warm finger aboard that raptor. He couldn't recall how long he'd flown before he found a spot even close to worthy of being her body's final resting place. He'd buried her with the ring and someplace miles below them on the surface of Earth, beneath the dirt and rubble it probably still existed, the flesh and bone that once held it long gone.

"I like to think so," He answered but he didn't get the reaction he expected.

She scowled and looked confused.

"What's that mean?" She asked with narrow eyes.

Bill sighed, got up from his seat and dragged his chair beside hers. When he sat back down he reached for her left hand, took it into his lap and ran the pad of his thumb over her bare ring finger.

"I guess it means that when I met you I finally felt whole. It means I found someone who I could work through anything with, someone who I would love always. An equal, a partner," He shrugged. "I know our relationship wasn't traditional and I know that it was far too brief but if it wasn't a marriage then I guess I don't know the meaning of the word."

That was more of an answer than Laura expected and suddenly she didn't care as much about what she was really asking him. She looked down at her hand in his and laughed softly as her eyes watered.

"What?" Bill smiled. "Too maudlin for you?" He teased.

She shook her head and gave a little sniff before she looked up and smiled at him.

"No. Not at all," She answered. "I guess it wasn't what I was asking but…it's all that I really needed to hear."

"What were you asking then?"

Laura licked her lips and looked off to the side.

"Did Saul tell you that we were married? I mean, here …legally married?"

" What ?"

"Today when I was with Katya, I complimented her wedding band. She suggested that since you and I were married now that we should get a set made," Laura explained gaining some amusement out of the look on Bill's face.

"Maybe she's confused."

"No, Bill. I was the one who was confused. She knew exactly what she was talking about. She told me that Saul and Ellen had set it up that way legally so it would be easier for us to function within the system. She thought we knew. You didn't?"

Bill crinkled his brow.

"No of course I didn't. Don't you think I would have said something?"

"I don't know. It's just a document saved on the network," She told him repeating Katya's words. "It's just a convenience," She added looking back down at their intertwined hands.

"Still. I would have said something," Bill insisted, shaking his head. He ran his free hand over his face and sighed. He wasn't sure if she'd known this in their last existence, wherever they'd been, but he wanted her to know it now. "You know, Laura…when you…when you died I knew I wouldn't be able to go on much longer. My journey was over. You were gone and you'd taken most of what I had left with you. I didn't have your faith. I wasn't sure that we'd ever be together again. I wanted to do what I could to honor you while I still had something to give. I flew around in that raptor looking for a spot where I would have loved to make a home with you. I wanted it to be somewhere just as beautiful as you. When I finally found it I knew what I was going to have to do when I got down there. I was so sure it was going to be the last time I would see your face." Bill paused and swallowed back his rising emotion. "Before I landed the ship...I put my ring on your finger. And when I got down there, to the little piece of land I found for us, I buried you with it. I'm not sure how long I lived after that. It's hard to remember; days, a couple weeks…but I died thinking of you as my wife. I just wished you'd died knowing it too."

Laura could barely gather her voice enough to respond.

"Bill, I saw you do that," She managed to get the words to squeak past the tightness in her throat.

"What?"

"Not there. Not on the raptor. I saw it before I died.”

“How? I don’t understand.”

“I had a vision. I watched you do it. When I was on the rebel basestar before we jumped back…I kept having visions. Every time we jumped closer and closer back to Galactica I would see more. I saw myself dying in Sick Bay. I saw Lee and Kara there watching me. Cottle said it was over. I heard Kara crying. I saw her tears and Lee hugging her. Then I saw you. You told me it was alright to go. I watched you take your ring off and put it on my finger."

Bill nodded and squeezed her hand tighter. He still didn't truly understand the visions she'd once had. Sometimes he hated how they used to seem to haunt her but if she had gotten to see him give her that small token of his love then he was glad for it. He picked up her hand and kissed the bare spot on her finger.

"I can't believe our daughter had to tell us that we’re married," He said smiling through a few tears.

Their daughter, Laura thought. She still couldn't believe it.

"No," Laura shook her head. “She didn't."


 

 

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Please review if you have some time :-)

Aprx Translations:

E-FED

Lechu k' tebe na kryl'yah lyubvi : I fly to you on wings of love

Adin…dvah…tri : One...two...three.

Myshka: little mouse

Privyet: Hello

Privyet, malysh: Hello, babe/baby.

Zatk'nis : Shut up.

 

Prasti minya: Forgive me.

Chapter 25: Chapter 25

Summary:

Disclaimer is in Ch 1.
Warnings and ratings say the same. EXTRA WARNING for vague but more intense love scene than has been featured preciously. It is in the 3rd section/ setting change ( MILITARY VISITOR'S QUARTERS; ASSIGNMENT PETROV/ISAKOFF) If you chose to skip it I would advise scanning for it and still reading the first and last parts of the section as there is plot that would be missed.
Approximate translations at the end.

I hope this chapter is enjoyable. It picks up a good deal as it goes on. Please let me know if you had a good time reading it. Don't want to let you all down now after 20+ chapters.

Lots coming up !

Thank you and good hunting.

Chapter Text

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LOCATION: DELTA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 126B: ASSIGNMENT; ROSLIN/ADAMA

YEAR: 2315

Laura didn't recognize the beach she was on. It wasn't on Scorpia where she used to vacation. She knew that much. The cloudy skies and foamy churning waters told her that it had to be someplace with a colder climate. Maybe one of the coasts of Caprica's northern hemisphere, one she'd never been to. Maybe an isle on Aerilon. The breeze swept through her hair and blew through her gossamer dress as she watched the waves roll in. The salt was so heavy in the air that she could almost taste it but it wasn't all that unpleasant. The sea was a peaceful shade of green and the clouds made it seem sort of cozy, like the sky was draping her in a big downy blanket. The wet sand was cold under her feet but she dug her toes in anyway.

Laura smiled when she thought that she heard the far off laughter of a child being carried by the wind. When she heard it again, this time far closer, she turned around to face the direction it had come from. To her surprise a few yards up shore sat a dark haired little girl of three or four, all alone. She happily played with a few beach toys, giggling to herself as she dug in the sand. Laura looked around, searching the beach for a companion who might be watching the little one from afar. When she found no one she started to make her way to where the girl sat. It was only when she'd gotten just a few feet away that she recognized her.

"Katya," She called out getting the little girl's attention.

The small child looked up with a little smile before returning to her toys.

"Hi, sweetheart. What are you doing?"

"Playing."

"I see that," Laura smiled, giving the shore-side another once over. There was no else there. "Katya, what are you doing here all alone?"

"I was waiting for my mommy."

"You were?"

The little girl nodded.

"Can I sit with you?"

Katya didn't answer. She just held out a sand covered yellow shovel as an offering. Laura smiled and took it before sitting down beside her. For a while she just sat there watching her dig and play. Now and then she handed her little multi-colored cups that Katya filled with sand and dumped into a little pile. She watched the girl's inky black hair blow softly in the breeze and she so badly wanted to reach out and run her fingers through it. Twice she went to do it, only to hesitate and pull her hand away. The third time the girl turned to her with a smile that seemed to tell her that it was okay. When Katya looked back to her sandy creation Laura finally ran her hand over the silky hair that fell down her little back. She could feel the soft cotton fabric of her little shirt and under it every precious breath of salty air she let in and out of her little lungs.

"What are you building, sweetheart?"

"A cabin."

"A cabin? Really?" Laura smiled, looking down at the mound of sand the little girl's hands were eagerly patting into a house. Katya nodded and started to dig at a hole that she'd made in front of it. "And what's that?" Laura asked pointing to the shallow little divot.

"That's the lake."

"The lake," Laura echoed. "Well I think whoever lives in that house will be very happy. Don't you think so?"

The girl nodded in agreement and Laura watched her working diligently for a while longer, enjoying her sweet face in the soft daylight. Soon Laura stopped looking around for whoever was supposed to be looking after the child. She was happy to sit there with her. The more time passed the less she cared if anyone ever came by to bother them again. It was as if they'd always been there together, just the two of them.

"All done," Katya said looking at Laura and attempting to rub the sticky sand from her hands.

Laura glanced down at her work and smiled proudly.

"That's just beautiful, Katya. You did a wonderful job."

Katya smiled back and held her sandy fingers out in display.

"I have an idea. How about we finish that off by putting some water in that lake?" Laura suggested. Katya smiled and nodded happily as Laura took her little red bucket from where it sat. "And then maybe we'll use the rest to wash up?" She added as she dusted at the girl's hands with her own.

"Okay, mommy."

Laura squinted at the girl's words. For a split second they didn't sound right. In that fraction of the moment it felt like she'd made a mistake but in the next instant, like water through the sands the words sunk in and felt perfect. Laura smiled and nodded. Now it felt like she'd heard the girl call her mommy thousand times before and would never tire of it.

Within a few paces Laura was down by the surf again. She waited for a wave to break and collected enough water to fill the little toy bucket. The water was too cold for swimming but it would serve well to clean their hands with and fill their little lake. When Laura was done she turned around to head back up shore. She lifted the bucket and looked up to wave and show Katya what she'd gotten but the little girl was nowhere to be found. Laura frantically glanced from left to right before rushing back up to the spot where she'd left her. The toys were still scattered in place and the sand cabin stood untouched. She dropped the bucket at her feet and searched the sand for signs of where her little footprints might lead. There weren't any to be found. None. Not even any that would have lead her there. Laura thought of scouring the entire beach; behind every rock and dune. She thought of screaming her baby's name until her lungs hurt just hoping the girl would hear her and call out mommy once again. She couldn't do any of those things. She could only cry through the sharp pain in her chest. She dropped to her knees and thought that she'd let her tears fill the little lake.

"Laura, get up."

She heard Bill's voice drumming in her ears. It was as coarse and gravelly as the sand.

"No. I'm never getting up," She cried.

"Laura you have to."

"Just leave me here."

"I'm not leaving you anywhere. Just look at me. It's okay, Laura."

"How can you say that?"

"C'mon. Get up. You need to calm down. We have things to do."

"There's nothing to do. Nothing."

"Laura, should I have Saul reschedule your shuttle?"

"What?"

When Laura looked up the beach was gone, the breeze was missing but she could still taste the salt; it was just that it was coming from the tears that ran down her face and into the corners of her mouth. Her eyes darted in frenzied little jolts until she saw the sheets around her, the dim light coming from above and Bill perched on the side of their rack looking down at her with a concerned grimace.

"I said, should I have Saul reschedule your shuttle?" Bill repeated. "Sergeant Petrov is supposed to come get you within the hour. If you're not up to it I'll tell Saul to readjust the flight plan. You and Alexi are supposed to be the first to leave for Delta."

"Oh my gods," She said palming her forehead and letting out a little whimper.

She just couldn't shake the awful despair that she'd just been feeling.

"That's it," Bill said picking up his wrist and starting to dial Saul, "I'm making the decision for you. You're in no shape to go."

"No. Wait!" Laura shouted, abruptly sitting up in bed and pulling his other hand away from his cuff.

"Don't. I was…I was dreaming. I'm sorry. I got confused. You woke me and I…"

"Laura, as soon as I touched your arm you burst into tears. I don't know how much longer you can continue to wake up like this!"

"No. No, Bill, this wasn't the same. It wasn't…"

"I know. It wasn't one of the nightmares. It was Katya, this time, right? I heard you calling her name before I tried to wake you. Laura what's the difference when you wake up hysterical either way?"

For the last few nights her dreams had been focused on her daughter. Now that she'd been going through the Tigh's albums she'd been seeing Katya in her dreams in different ways. She no longer came to her as just a tiny baby or a grown woman. She saw her as a toddler, as a little girl, as a budding teen. While the dreams of her daughter weren't much less taxing than the others she welcomed the break from the mysterious and terrifying visions of tubs and pillars. Ever since she'd left Katya's cabin the girl was all she could think about. The captain hadn't admitted what was wrong with her but she wasn't denying that there was a problem any longer. Laura had shared it with Bill. He'd agreed that for now they would respect her privacy. The only thing that was keeping Laura from worrying herself sick was the fact that Katya had been at least attempting to keep her promise to stay in touch. The night after their visit she'd sent Laura a little message on her cuff. It amusingly read, 'Does your husband like your hair?' She'd responded in kind with a message of repeated thanks. Later the next day Laura sent Kat another asking for help finding a copy of the Quartz Plates they'd been told about. Katya helpfully sent her a link to their place on the network right away. It wasn't much but it was something. They were communicating, ever so minimally without being forced into it.

"There's a big difference, Bill!"

She shouted back at him with some unexpected venom and he actually jumped at the anger in her voice. She didn't appreciate his cold equation. Though her dreams of their daughter often left her in tears she took offence to the way he'd just lumped them together with the strange terrors of her nightmares.

Her nerves were still totally raw from the dream. She had no patience for him, especially today. While she lay in bed the night before reading the digital copy of the prophecy he lay beside her going over Orbit Patrol flight plans. It wasn't even official yet and he'd already started talking like a soldier again and immersing himself in Orbit military protocol as if he actually expected to be given any kind of responsibility. She couldn't help it. She couldn't rationalize it to herself. She just resented the hell out of it.

"Fine. Either way," He huffed, "You're not making that flight. You don't need to fly in this condition," He said looking back down at his cuff.

Laura swung her feet out of bed and nearly swatted his hand off of his wrist.

Bill's eyes went wide.

"This isn't your call, Bill. You're not an officer yet! We've still got a few hours before that happens. You don't get to make those decisions and even so, I'm not your frakking subordinate. You don't get to tell me what to do or what I can handle. I'm going. Don't you dare tell Saul otherwise," She spit as she escaped to the head to get ready.

Bill winced as the door slammed. He'd been ready for it but it was still jarring to hear so early in the morning. He wouldn't go after her. He knew that he'd only make things worse today. He sighed, looking down at his lap. They'd get through this too.

LOCATION: INNER ORBIT; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

ALPHA STATION ORBIT PATROL SHUTTLE-HAWK

ENROUTE TO SECTOR POD SIGMA; DESTINATION SECTOR POD OMEGA; ENROUTE TO DELTA SPACE STATION

YEAR: 2315

"What's wrong Admiral?" Katya asked as she leaned back in her shuttle seat fighting sleep.

She'd been watching him since they took off from Alpha. He looked miserable when she'd arrived to pick him up at his cabin but she'd shrugged it off due to the hour of the morning. Laura was already gone when she'd gotten to their quarters. Alexi had picked her up at an ungodly hour and they'd already made and completed their contrived flight plan to the other station. Ellen had made the trip a day and a half before and Saul and Blaze had both gone to Beta the previous night to escort Sharon and Helo. Katya was Bill's assigned companion for the trip but the two of them had hardly spoken the entire morning.

"Nothing, Captain," He assured her.

"Are you nervous about taking your oath?" She prodded.

He was obviously stewing about something. She figured that she might as well start some measure conversation to stop herself from snoozing the whole way. She'd had nightmares all night, worried there would be an atmosphere breach while the cylon members of her family were spread out all over the system. That meant Alexi hadn't slept much either. She felt awful about how often she caused him to go without a proper night's rest. A few nights before Blaze and Saul left for Beta the lieutenant had spent the night on their couch, annoyed by some barrack nonsense. He'd sat up with Katya after she had a particularly bad dream, allowing Alexi to take a one night reprieve. Katya wished she could get a reprieve from the nightly disturbance too.

"I'm not taking it lightly, if that's what you're asking," Bill finally answered.

"Well I'm glad to hear that. It's not the kind of thing one should."

"No it's not," Bill agreed, looking down at his lap.

They were silent for a while longer. When Katya felt her eyes starting to close she picked her head up and looked back at her birth father.

"Laura's angry at you," She guessed, catching him off guard.

She figured stirring up some trouble would help to keep her heavy eyes open.

Bill squinted at her words. Her tone almost sounded accusatory.

"Why do you say that?"

"You have that look on your face that says 'I'm two steps away from sleeping on the sofa'," She teased. In truth, the last time she'd spoken to Laura she'd gotten the feeling that she wasn't very happy about what would be happening today. When they'd spoken about Bill's enlistment Laura seemed put off. That coupled with the Admiral's demeanor and the fact that they were just hours away from the ceremony was enough for Katya to guess. "I see that look on Alexi and Uncle Saul all the time," She joked trying to get a smile out of him.

He gave her a small one and then nodded.

"We're okay."

He sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than he was her.

"I'm sure you will be," She shrugged. "It's the commissioning isn't it?" He didn't answer but the look on his face confirmed it. "She'll get passed it," Katya added.

Bill nodded but avoided her eyes as he spoke.

"I think she's worried about not knowing where she fits into all of this. I don't either. I just want to help in any way I can. She had so much to do last time. She hardly had time to breathe. I think now she might be a little upset that she can't find some immediate work to do."

"Maybe she feels like you're leaving her alone."

Bill looked up and furrowed his brow.

"I'm not."

"No you're not but you'll certainly be spending less time with her if you plan on acting in any sort of meaningful capacity," Katya argued.

"That's true."

"If it makes you feel any better, I'm glad to have you as part of Orbit Patrol. It's an honor," She offered honestly.

"Thank you. That means a lot, Katya."

She nodded and looked down at her boots.

"Just be mindful of how Laura feels. You know you're all she has."

Bill stared at his daughter until she felt his eyes and looked up.

"I'm not all she has, Captain. Not anymore."

She ignored his sentiment and soon she lost the battle to stay awake.

As Katya nodded off in her seat, her hand limply settled on her middle, Bill watched her and smiled to himself.

LOCATION: DELTA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY VISITOR'S QUARTERS; ASSIGNMENT PETROV/ISAKOFF

YEAR: 2315

The commissioning ceremony was a private event held within the commander's office. Saul and Delta's Cmdr. Thibodaux officiated with the assistance of Cpt. Isakoff and Lt. Bishop. The air was strange in the room. There was a mix of doubt and hostility from some and either eagerness or indifference from the rest. It was quite strange to see the three resurrected leaders donning Earth Orbit uniforms but in a way Katya thought that they wore them well. It was obvious that all three of them were comfortable this way. At least that part she understood.

Before the ceremony started Saul took Katya aside and asked for her cooperation. He asked that she do her best to welcome her father and treat him as a respected member of Orbit Patrol as she would anyone else. She merely nodded in agreement but she wished that she could tell him that she wasn't the one who needed convincing. When she greeted Laura she noticed the woman's less than sincere demeanor. She was pleasant enough, friendly and polite to everyone in the room but underneath her smile was an air of unease. Katya figured that no one else besides Bill would probably notice but she could tell that Laura was less than enthusiastic to witness what was about to take place. She couldn't say much to her without drawing unneeded attention to the situation so she chose to ignore it, telling herself that it wasn't her problem. She left Laura to Ellen and the two women watched on from a slight distance.

After Bill, Sharon and Karl took their final oath Blaze and Katya were called to present their parents with their respective station bands. Despite Laura's air of apprehension Katya thought that she saw her tear up and smile as she placed the blue arm band over her father's bicep with a salute. Whatever emotion the woman had felt was gone by the time Katya was able to take a better look at her and when it was over everyone was civil and congratulatory.

After the welcoming and congratulations had died down Saul and Ellen suggested that they all take some time to themselves to change and get ready for the Officer's Ball. Ellen asked that they all reconvene at 2030 for a celebratory toast at the Exchange Unit bar where a cocktail hour would be held.

Now that Katya and Alexi were back in their room she wished that there wasn't so much time between events. The more time she spent in their visitor's quarters the less she wanted to go back out. She thought that she would be perfectly happy to curl up on the civilian style bed with her husband and lounge away the night. She was still so exhausted and as she got dressed she was becoming more and more frustrated with herself.

"Can you tell?" Katya asked, nervously pulling at the fabric of her dress in the mirror.

It wasn't exactly clingy, though it had turned out a bit more low cut than she thought it would. Ellen hadn't been kidding when she said that she wanted to see Katya in Alpha Blue. The pearly blue satin hung from two delicate straps that crossed over her back at the shoulder blades. It hugged her form enough to complement it without sacrificing what she wanted in the way of modesty.

"Nyet, Yekaterina," Alexi told her once again from where he lay on the unusually comfortable bed. He'd gotten as far as taking off the top of his uniform and station tanks before he'd flopped down on the mattress. His duty formals still hung on the back of the head door. The lure of the cushiony soft surface was just too much for him to resist and he was rather enjoying the view that he had from his lolling position." I told you no twice already. You look beautiful."

"I feel like it's noticeable."

"It's not."

Katya walked closer to the mirror and tilted her head as she scrutinized her figure.

"I notice," She mumbled. "I feel it."

"Katya, stop. No one could possibly tell unless they really knew what they were looking for. Besides, no one is going to be inspecting that closely. Except for Blaze," He snorted.

"Alexi, zatk'nis . You know I don't like when you say stuff like that."

"Why? Because it's true?"

"Because he's your brother," She retorted. "Will you ever get passed it?"

"I will when he does, which I'm not counting on," He answered with a roll of his eyes. "It's never been you I was concerned about, Katya. You understand that I'm not jealous. I feel for him. I honestly do. It can't have been easy all of these years."

Katya huffed and looked at the floor. She'd always been able to ignore it until someone else brought it up.

"I don't want to talk about this."

Alexi sighed as he stretched his arms over his head.

"You don't want to talk about anything, Katya."

She didn't care for his casual accusation.

"Who are you to say that, Alexi?" She countered as she continued to obsessively gauge herself in the mirror.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean you're one to talk. We are hours away from the download on Delta and you still haven't said a word about Gamma Station. You're as guilty as I am of avoiding things," Katya scowled and shook her head dismissively. "So, we aren't the best at sharing. So, we don't talk about everything. You've never minded before."

Alexi propped his head up on his elbow and looked back at her.

"We've never had this much to talk about, Yekaterina."

Katya finally stopped fussing with her dress and turned to face him where he lay on the bed.

"Tell me, Alexi. What do you want to talk about?"

He inhaled and let it out as a low hum that almost boarded on a growl.

"Nothing now. You're too distracting in that dress."

She arched a brow in response.

"I could take it off," She teased before turning and looking back into the mirror.

She watched him in the reflection as he leaned up to sit on the side of the bed.

"Are you still in much pain?" He asked gesturing to his own chest.

"Not as much. It comes and goes," She shrugged. "Not right now."

Tawny had told her to get used to it, that for a while the soreness in her breasts would only get worse. She was doing her best to heed the warning and focus on anything else. Right now her hair was a pretty big distraction. It had been pulled back for the commissioning ceremony and now that she'd taken it down she couldn't get it to fall right. Nothing was going smoothly.

Walking over to the dresser she picked up a hair clip and tried to make use of it. When its sharp teeth grazed against her scalp she hissed and threw the bobble back down with a force.

"Fucking frak it!"

She was ready to just forget the whole night. She didn't want to go anyway.

"Calm down, myshka," Alexi said as he rose from the bed and made his way to her.

He came up from behind, wrapped his arms around her and kissed at the tender spot on her head. She relaxed within his embrace and looked back into the mirror, this time only so that she could watch him holding her.

The fact that he'd been lounging around the room shirtless for the last half hour wasn't helping Katya's attitude toward going to Delta's Officer's Ball. She could simply stare at him all night and be all the happier. They'd been together for so long but she still wasn't over the sight of him; tall and chiseled like mighty titan with the burden of Atlas in his eyes. Since they'd moved in with each other eight months before, they had been enjoying their freedom as a newly married couple. They no longer had to sneak around Saul or Ellen when they wanted to be together. They didn't have to ignore perverse comments and rude remarks as they made out behind the curtain of his old bunk in the marine barracks. They had their own home, with their own walls and they had been taking advantage of it often and with great relish up until a few weeks ago. Now as far as Katya was concerned, getting Alexi to touch her in any way other than for protection or comfort was becoming a chore. She appreciated his concern but only when warranted. Mostly his resistance had been making her feel awful. There were times when he was right and they both took Tawny's advice to abstain and allow Katya's body to rest. Sometimes it was necessary to just enjoy the chaste comfort of one another's arms but now Katya felt like Alexi had begun to develop some sort of phobia even when they were perfectly able. Getting him to succumb to her advances was like pulling teeth. She couldn't understand his willpower. She surely didn't have such self-control and now her frustrations were gnawing at her. She knew that whenever Alexi showed the slightest sign that he might give into temptation she needed to move fast before he could convince himself otherwise. As he held her in his muscled arms she wondered if she might have weakened his resolve already. Testing the waters she turned her head to kiss at his bicep and watched his face in the mirror. His eyes were closed and he had his nose still buried in her hair inhaling it's sent. When he didn't seem to mind her kisses she nibbled at this skin of his arm and then firmly leaned back into him. When she did he moved his lips from her hair and started to kiss down her jaw line on the way to her neck. She tilted her head to the side gladly giving him access and pushed her backside into him a bit more adding a slight roll of her hips. When she felt his response below the small of her back she felt like she'd just hit a bull's eye on the target range. She didn't relent. She kept the pressure of her body firm against his. She didn't want to leave any space between them. Space meant leaving him time to think and thinking meant that he might stop. When he started to lick and suck at the sensitive flesh below her ear she smiled with a sense of hesitant victory. She reached for his hands that were still held tightly to the sides of her ribs and she moved one slowly down low on her hip. He kissed down to her collarbone and she took it as another win. She then took his other hand and guided it up over her breast. That was when he stilled behind her.

"Please don't stop, Lex," She said breathily as she turned in his arms to face him. She looked up at him placing her hands on his shoulders and she wondered if he was truly going to make her beg. At this point she thought that she actually might. "Please?" She asked, closing her eyes and resting her head against his chest.

She moved her hands around to his back and dragged them down until they rested on his rear. She pulled him forward as she pressed the front of her body into his. At this point if they stopped now they would both be headed for a cold shower before they could even attempt to go anywhere. Alexi lowered his head and nosed her hair away from her ear. He sucked at her lobe and moved his hand down the side of her silky dress until he got to its hem. He grazed his knuckles up her thigh and moved his hand up under the satin. He stopped once he could feel the heat under her skirt.

"Is this okay, Katyy?"

His voice was low and husky but she could still hear the hesitance within it.

"Yes, malysh," She told him, nuzzling into his bare chest and giving him a few tender kisses. "We have time."

Her answer purposefully avoided what she knew he was really asking.

"No," He said taking his lips from her neck and, to her great dismay, removing his hand from the juncture of her inner thighs. "I mean…are you sure we can do this?"

"Oh, for fuck sake, Alexi," She said with breathless frustration, "Yes."

"How do you know?"

She'd been in the ward less than a week ago and Alexi couldn't forget what happened while he was away. His heart sunk whenever he thought of it.

"I just do," She answered looking up at him. "Please?" He really was going to make her beg. If that's what he wanted she would give it to him. "Alexi, I know that I don't have the right to ask another thing of you. You've already given me so much but right now I need you to keep touching me. Please?" She hated that her eyes had suddenly started to water. She just couldn't help herself lately. Her emotions were all over the place. She knew that crying wouldn't help make her case. "I'm still the same. I need you to see me that way."

Her words made Alexi lower his brow. She was afraid of what he was going to say but then he said nothing and instead leaned down to kiss her lips. His kiss was hot and wanting, something she hadn't felt from him in weeks. Despite the pleasure it gave her it almost made her feel worse to realize that he hadn't even been kissing her the way that he used to. When he broke the connection her lips were wet and so swollen she could feel her pulse throbbing in them.

"Katya, you have no idea how I see you," He finally spoke looking intently into her teary eyes. "You don't know how hard it is for me to resist you every time we're in the same damn room, maybe now more than ever," He admitted, "But it isn't the same. Nothing's the same."

She finally felt one of the tears she was holding back slide from the corner of her eye. She wished that she could swat it away but that would mean letting go of him and she didn't dare take her hands from his body.

"I know how you must feel, Alexi. I'm sure you've never been so afraid of losing something…but I'm right here. We're both right here."

"I want to keep it that way, Yekaterina. I'd do anything, give up anything."

The intensity in his cool blue eyes made her want him even more. She knew now that he wanted her too. She could feel it low against her belly as they stood tightly pressed together. At least she knew that he wanted her physically. At least she could still elicit that response from him.

"We don't have to give up this. Not now," She tried to assure him as she brought her hands to the front of his waist. She undid his belt and kissed at his chest until she heard his pants drop to the floor. When she glanced up to see his reaction he eagerly took her mouth again. As she went to dip her hand into the waist of his boxers she felt his go back under her dress and she hummed in encouragement. "It's okay, Alexi," She whispered against his chin. "Just don't stop. Prikosnis' ko mne. It feels right, doesn't it? Ti ochen' nuzhnA mne. Keep going. Let me keep going."

He licked his way down her neck again and nodded into it with hungry affirmation. She turned in his arms giving him access to her zipper. He brought it down to where it stopped just below her bottom and its slick fabric slid off of her in seconds puddling onto the floor around her feet. She had nothing on underneath except a pair of lacy white panties and he stepped back to marvel at her.

"You're so beautiful, myshka," He told her, though he knew it would only make her more self-conscious.

They had to lie to so many other people. He couldn't tell her anything other than the truth.

She didn't respond to his admiration, she just took his hand and pulled him toward the bed. He kicked away his trousers and went willingly. When they got to the foot of the bed he picked her up and laid her down on the mattress as gently as he possibly could. He leaned over to her ear and breathed heavily when her hands went right to the waistband of his boxers. He let his hands roam around the expanse of her body enjoying the feel of her velvety smooth skin.

"Ti takAya nEzhnaya. I want this, Yekaterina. I do. I want you so much. I just don't want to hurt you."

"We'll go slow," She whispered in a mixture of reassurance and encouragement.

He nodded in agreement and started slowly kissing his way down her body. Soon he was reveling in her vocal responses as he worked lovingly and passionately between her long lean legs. The sensation of the warm smooth skin of her thighs brushing against his ears sent shivers through him but before they went any further he wanted to give her what he'd been holding back for so long. It didn't take much to send her toward the brink and her readiness filled him with both passion and guilt. Once it happened he insisted on giving her time to recover before they continued but Katya was insistent and in no time she was working her way down his body and returning his gesture. When she could tell that he was passed the point of no return she leaned up, pushing him back on the bed. She climbed up on top of him and finally took what she'd been pining for. As promised she didn't give in to the temptation of losing control. She was languid and deliberate with every exquisite roll of her hips and it didn't take long for both of them to find the release they needed together. Along with the waves of pleasure came a sudden flood of emotion that Katya just couldn't hold back. She found herself sobbing into Alexi's chest in a mix of gratitude, love and relief. It scared him. She knew that it would before the first whimper escaped her lips. Immediately he tried to lift her up off of him but she refused to move, clenching around him and holding onto his shoulders. She promised that she was okay over and over. She apologized again and again and swore that she was fine. She wasn't hurt. She was overcome with her love for him, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Eventually, he believed her.

Once Katya had settled down Alexi moved her under the bed's quilt and climbed in beside her. She lay on her side and he rubbed at her back while her breathing slowly but surely calmed. He watched her, enamored with her feminine form but still so cautious of any sign that she might be less than well.

"Don't get mad at me for asking this but how do you feel?"

Katya stretched under the sheets and though her eyes were still red and a bit weepy her grin grew.

"I feel amazing," She told her husband happily. "I feel better than I have all week."

"I'm sorry for the way I've been acting, Katya…but I can't even promise I'll stop. I'm just so worried."

"I know, Alexi," She nodded. "I'm sorry too. I'm sorry that this isn't easier. I wish it were. I'm sorry to make you feel badly. I just needed this tonight. I needed to know that you still wanted me the way I want you. It's okay if we wait now. It won't be much longer."

"We'll just go day by day, myshka," He assured her. "And of course I want you. I don't think I've ever wanted you more. Ti nuzhnA mne vsyO bOl'she i bOl'she. Ne magU zhIt' bez tebyA. I'm amazed by you."

For a while they cuddled up against each other enjoying the lingering effects of their union until both of their cuffs buzzed under the bed's quilt. Only Alexi had the will to glance at his.

"It's Saul. He and Ellen are coming over."

Katya groaned.

"It's funny how they don't ask. They just tell."

"Should I ask them not to? We aren't even dressed."

"No," She answered reluctantly. "We should get up anyway. I can get into that dress just as fast as I can get out of it."

The couple forced themselves up and started preparing to leave for the ball once again.

Alexi made the bed while Katya washed up and changed. They made haste and swapped in enough time for Katya to greet their guests. Saul and Ellen arrived while Alexi was still in the head dressing.

Katya still hadn't been able to do anything with her hair and now it looked a bit worse for wear. She wore a distinct pout on her face as she opened the hatch for her parents.

"What's wrong with you?" Saul teased.

"Oh, kitten you look beautiful in that dress!" Ellen cooed. "I told you that you were going to love it."

"I don't want to go," Katya whined in return. "My hair isn't cooperating."

"Where's Alexi?" Saul asked ignoring her sulking. "We came by to see if you two wanted to join us for drinks. Just the four of us before everyone else gets down there."

"Oh that's nice," Katya said turning her forced frown into an appreciative smile. "Lex is in the head getting dressed. I'm sorry that I'm not done yet. I'm just frustrated," She explained, running her hands through her hair.

"Don't get all bent out of shape over that, kitten," Ellen said reaching out and dragging her fingers through Katya's mussed waves. "I'll help you. I'm the only one who's ever been able to tame this mane anyway. Saul why don't you take Alexi and get started? I'll help kit, and we'll catch up."

"Take me where?" Alexi called as he emerged from the head in full marine formals.

"Oh my! Doesn't he look handsome?" Ellen nearly purred. "Kit, you are one lucky woman."

Katya smiled in agreement but she was more amused over how much Alexi blushed at Ellen's comment. The woman had been ogling him since he was about sixteen. Though he knew that she did it in jest, mostly to inflate his ego he'd always found it totally mortifying coming from the closest thing he'd ever had to a maternal figure.

"To the bar," Saul clarified, ignoring his wife's over enthusiastic acclaims. "Ellen's gunna help Kat with her hair and then they'll meet us."

"Sounds good," Alexi agreed with a shrug.

Ellen walked in and made herself at home on the end of the bed as Alexi joined Saul in the doorway. The sergeant bent down to kiss his wife.

"See you in a bit, myshka."

"You do look very nice, Alexi," She teased.

"So do you."

"Alright, let's go," Saul grumbled.

Katya giggled and turned to wrap her arms around her uncle before giving him a kiss on the cheek.

"You look very handsome too, Uncle Saul," She said sweetly.

Any stern look or gruffness that had been plastered on the man's face immediately melted at his daughter's gesture. She always could turn him into a puddle of mush within moments.

"And you'll be the second prettiest girl at the ball, kit," He said returning her kiss and winking over at his wife. He cleared his throat and abruptly gathered himself. "Sergeant. Let's go start getting drunk," He barked as if it were a direct order.

"Yes, Sir, Colonel, Sir," Alexi answered in an almost barreling voice as he followed his father in law out of the door.

Katya laughed as the hatch shut and turned to face Ellen. She was perched at the foot of the bed with the skirt of her lilac dress laid out around her like a proud blooming Beta tulip. She wore a pert smirk as she looked back at her daughter.

"What?" Katya said defensively as she walked to retrieve her brush from the dresser top.

"Nothing. Just come over here and let Auntie fix your sex hair," Ellen teased as she patted the space next to her on the bed.

"Ellen! It is not!"

"Oh, it is so," Ellen said with a dismissive wave. "I don't blame you one bit, baby. That boy grew up to look like he was carved out of marble. Anyway, you know I can always tell."

"But do you have to always say it?!"

"No. And I don't always say it. Believe me; I helped Alexi sneak out of our cabin in the early hours of the morning so often that I lost count. I could have let him face Saul's wrath plenty of times. I keep my mouth shut when it matters."

Katya glared at Ellen and just held out the brush. Ellen took it from her and laughed some more as Katya sat down on the bed beside her with a huff. She ran the brush through her flowing hair a few times before stopping.

"Just tell me one thing, kit?"

"What?"

"Did you use The Swirl?"

"That's it," Katya said, getting up off of the bed and making like she was going to leave." I'm done. Go without me."

"Oh, sit down," Ellen laughed, "Since when are you such a prude?"

"I'm not," Katya answered, sitting back in place. "I just don't want to talk about it."

"Okay, okay," Ellen relented.

Katya started to giggle to herself as Ellen continued to brush back her hair.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing…You just reminded me of the first time you caught Alexi in my bedroom."

"How could I forget? I opened the door to wake you up and there were two people in the rack. You weren't laughing then. I can tell you that."

"No I sure wasn't. You woke us up out of a dead sleep and told Alexi to get dressed and follow you if wanted to keep all of his teeth. I was sure that you were going to read me the riot act when you came back in but you just asked me what I wanted for breakfast."

Ellen smiled to herself as she recalled the scene.

"I'd been waiting for it to happen," She confessed. "Once the boys moved to Alpha, Alexi was hanging around so much. I knew it was a matter of time. I didn't let you get by totally unscathed. We had a nice long talk that night."

"Yeah, but you were so good about it."

"Well compared to what you would have gotten from Uncle Saul, yes. I guess I was."

"I thought you were going to tell him. I was freaking out the whole day."

"He caught you a few weeks later anyway," Ellen amusingly scoffed.

"I remember. He punched Alexi right it the solar plexus."

"He sure did."

They could both still remember Saul calling Alexi into the other room after having walked in on them in the middle of the day. He waited patiently for the young couple to get dressed and then once Alexi walked close enough he knocked the wind right out of him without so much as a warning. He sent him out of the cabin without another word. Alexi stayed away for a while but it hadn't been enough to scare him off for long.

"And you just kept on sneaking him out," Katya mused

"You kept sneaking him in," Ellen teased.

"I don't know how you ever put up with me."

"You were fifteen. I was expecting it."

"Still," Katya shrugged.

"You know Uncle Saul reacted that way because he saw his little girl growing up. That's hard for any father to accept. The fact that it was Alexi helped him deal with it, though. I think he might have killed anyone else."

"Why? What do you mean?"

"Well, we both always just trusted him with you. We knew he was a good boy and we could both see how much he loved you. We saw that early on. I think that we were both glad that you had someone to love who truly understood who you were and what your place was in life. In a lot of ways we thought we were lucky. I know that Uncle Saul was glad once Alexi moved to Alpha. It meant he didn't have to ward off potential suitors anymore. He knew that Alexi would take care of that much."

"Alexi always thought Uncle Saul hated him."

"He's never hated him. You know it's complicated, the way he looks at that boy."

"You mean because of…"

"Yes," Ellen cut her off not wanting to discuss the reason. She knew that Saul looked at Alexi differently because he was Caprica's. She was sure that the boy constantly made Saul think of the son he'd lost. She understood how it felt to lose a child. She still felt the pain of losing Daniel but she also still felt the pain of knowing that Saul had conceived a love child with another woman. It still hurt her so deeply though it was ages ago. It made her sympathetic and jealous all at once."Maybe it just seemed that way, kit. You were growing up and Saul was flipping out. You know Uncle Saul; he doesn't act like he likes anyone. He cares for Alexi a great deal though, just like I do. We love him and we both always trusted that he would do right by you. We just got used to having him around," Ellen said with a little chuckle. "Even when we both knew that you two were fooling around behind closed doors."

"What? You're telling me that Uncle Saul knew and would let us get away with it?"

"Eventually…at least sometimes. Especially once you got older. As long as I was there to calm him down and convince him to let it go. It was half the reason he signed off on the marriage license application last year." Earth Orbit law stated that twenty-one was the age of legal adulthood. Though Katya was old enough at the time of their application's submission Alexi still needed his guardian's consent the same way he had for his enlistment. "Saul knew that you two needed your own place. He was sick of having it go on under his own roof."

"I don't know whether to be thankful or grossed out."

"We trusted you. We trusted Alexi. We wouldn't have let it go on if we didn't," Ellen shrugged as she tucked some hair behind Katya's ear. "You know sweetie, to be perfectly honest it helped that we never had to worry about the two of you…well," She stumbled feeling sort of guilty for what she was implying. Some nights the thought of Katya's infertility made her lose sleep worrying about how it would affect young woman later on. Other nights it helped her sleep soundly knowing that the teen couple in the other room wouldn't be getting themselves into any trouble. "It was one less thing that we had to consider. Even though I worried about what it would mean for your future I guess back then it was a bit of a relief while I was raising a teenage girl. I was able to let you have a good time and explore, find your own way without that possibility hanging over our heads."

"I get it," Katya said curtly.

She'd suspected as much. She knew it was why they'd never made her get an implant put in. She'd noticed by the time she was sixteen and every other girl she knew around her age had one except Margot. She almost had to laugh at it now.

"I'm sorry, kitten."

"No. Don't be," Katya said in a low voice."It's okay."

"I'm glad you two fell in love, no matter the consequence," Ellen affirmed. "I'm happy that you're together. Just fits."

Katy bit her lip and nodded.

"I just feel so bad for him."

Ellen scowled. Her heart skipped a beat wondering what Katya was talking about. She was still so sure that something wasn't right. She was starting to become paranoid, expecting some big awful confession from her daughter every time she opened her mouth.

"Why? Oh…you mean because of Gamma?" Ellen surmised after a second. When Katya nodded she finally relaxed. "I know, honey. This weekend won't be easy on him. Has he said anything?"

"What do you think?"

"Of course not," Ellen huffed.

The sergeant was tight lipped by nature. When Ellen and Saul had first taken over responsibility for the young man he hardly spoke at all. He was quiet and reserved. Ellen had worried about him back then. At the time of his father's murder and the destruction of his birth parent's bodies he'd shown almost no emotion. Spending time with the Tigh family was the only reason he'd become as verbal as he had but they still never expected him to openly divulge any feelings, not easily at least.

"I can tell he's thinking about it, though," Katya said in a voice strained with compassion. "A few times I gave in and read him. I know that I shouldn't have but I did. He's okay with it as hard as he tries to pretend. As difficult as it's been for me I just keep thinking about what it would be like if I never got the chance to know Bill and Laura. Nothing's been easy with them and I guess they really haven't been what I expected…but at least I'm getting to try. At least I got to see where I came from. He'll live his life out never knowing. It's not fair."

"He's going to have to make with peace with it, Katya. He will in his own way and in his own time. All we can do is show him that he has a family right here who loves him just as much as anyone else ever could," Ellen said with careful purpose.

When her daughter nodded and composed herself Ellen got up from the bed and walked over to the dresser. She picked up a few hair pins and the barrette that Katya had angrily discarded before her arrival. She fiddled with them keeping her back to the girl as she spoke.

"Oh, that reminds me…I meant to tell you; that was very nice of you to give Laura that dress, kitten."

Ellen had been waiting to bring it up. With how busy they'd all been over the last few days she hadn't found the time. She wanted to do it now, before all three of them were in each other's company again.

Katya's eyes went to Ellen's back. When she didn't turn she knew that her aunt was waiting for her response.

"How'd you know about that?"

Ellen finally spun on her heels and walked a few paces back to where Katya sat on the bed.

"She told me."

"What?" Katya snapped. "Why?"

"Well after your dress was delivered I remembered that Laura and Sharon would be joining us. I only had a day before I needed to come here so I thought I should make sure that they were both prepared. I left something for Sharon with Uncle Saul so that he and Blaze could bring it to her when they reported to Beta for escort duty," Ellen explained as she clicked the hairclip open in her hands, "But since Laura was right there on station I thought I'd let her pick something out for herself. I went to her cabin to offer and she told me that she already had something. She said that you gave it to her. "

Katya looked back at Ellen with muddled eyes. The girl looked angry and abashed all at once.

"You're looking at me like you're ashamed, Kat."

Katya looked down to the quilt on the bed.

"I met her on the flight deck when Blaze came home. She asked me about the ball. I offered."

Her explanation was halting and matter of fact. Ellen could tell she didn't want to talk about it. She'd known that before she'd even brought it up. She hadn't enjoyed hearing about it from Laura. She wished that Katya could have shared it. The fact that she felt the need to hide it told Ellen something much more.

"That's okay, kitten. It was very sweet."

Katya rolled her eyes and lay back on the bed. When she realized the display she was making of herself she quickly crossed her arms over her middle and turned on her side.

"Get up. You're going to wrinkle that dress."

"It was on the floor twenty minutes ago, Aunt Ellen," Katya said with some displaced heat in her voice.

"Sit up. I'm not done with your hair," Ellen told her. She reached for her wrist and Katya went willingly as she pulled her upright. "Kit. listen to me. You don't have to feel bad about what you did for Laura. You don't have to be angry that I know. As long as things don't change between you and me then I don't mind what happens with you two. You don't have to keep things from me. Not about Laura and not about anything else."

Katya didn't miss Ellen's last little dig but she ignored it.

"Nothing's happening with her," Katya insisted. "I gave her a dress."

Katya shrugged trying to look as disassociated from the gesture as possible.

"You helped her. You did something nice for her. You probably made her feel pretty damn good. I can tell you that she sure liked being able to tell me what you did," Ellen needled.

"What's that mean? She was rubbing it in?"

If that was the case Katya thought that she might choke Laura with the damn dress.

"No, no. Well I don't know," Ellen couldn't help jabbing in the bit of doubt. She knew that later she wouldn't be happy with herself for doing it but she couldn't fight it. Her habits were hard wired and they were of no help while she was precariously walking the line between being supportive and wanting her child all to herself. "Even if she was, it just made me proud to hear it. I'm glad she can see what a sweet girl I raised," She said as she gently clipped the barrette back into the side of Katya's hair. "There we go. Beautiful."

Ellen smiled and put her hands on her hips admiring her own work.

"I don't know what I'm supposed to do," Katya said out loud though she wasn't really asking for a response.

The more time she spent with Laura the more she was realizing how much she wanted to know her. There was just something about her. She didn't know what it was. Maybe there really was some kind of connection there. Maybe she'd just misjudged the woman and was finding that she rather liked her after all. Katya found herself making a journal folder on her tablet the day after she'd spoken with her birth mother. She felt a little foolish for trying to replicate Laura's coping skill but part of her was grateful to have been offered the advice. She'd been recording her thoughts in the journal every night since. She was still so confused over how she felt about Laura Roslin. All she knew for sure was that she didn't want to pursue any more of a relationship with her if it meant hurting Ellen. No matter how much she'd ever wanted Laura in her life she would give her up for Ellen. She didn't want to hurt her anymore than she already had.

"You're not supposed to do anything, baby. There aren't any rules to this. Just remember what Uncle Saul and I have always told you; no matter what happens, you're our little girl and we love you."

Katya nodded. She wondered just how much Ellen knew. Did she know how she'd also cut Laura's hair? Had Laura told her how long they'd been together? Did she know how she'd let the woman into her bedroom and that they'd talked about their dreams? Did she hear about how they'd gone through her closet searching for just the right dress? Was Ellen aware of how Laura had clung to her so fiercely when she thought that she might collapse? Could Ellen have any possible notion of how strangely comforting it was to have another woman, a stranger, soothingly rub her back to make her feel better? Katya hoped that Ellen couldn't sense it and she prayed that Laura had been brief with what she'd shared.

"I love you too," She told her. "So much."

Ellen reached over to where she'd tossed her clutch purse on the bed. She popped it open and pulled out a little satin pouch.

"Here," She said offering the bundle of fabric to Katya.

"What's this?"

"Open it," She instructed as she took a seat back on the end of the bed.

"What's it for?"

"Uncle Saul and I just wanted to do something special for you. We know that you're a little sad about being away from Alpha on Unity Day. We're sorry that you're away from your squadron and most of your friends for the holiday weekend. We just wanted to cheer you up. We were going to give it to you when we went out for drinks. That's why we came here early but you can just thank him once we catch up. He won't mind."

"But my birthday just passed."

"So?"

"Are you sure I shouldn't wait for Uncle Saul?"

"For frak sake, Katya. Open it," Ellen said rolling her eyes.

Katya opened the little blush satin pouch and looked inside to see a little glimmer of silver at the bottom. She shook it out into her other hand and then gently picked it up. It unraveled and dripped back into her outstretched palm. From a delicate silvery chain hung a tiny A that matched the symbol that Katya had tattooed on the back of her neck. All of the kids had one. It was something they'd done when Margot finally turned of age. To celebrate, each of them had their home station's letter inked somewhere on their bodies. Katya's eyes watered as the A shone in the dull cabin light.

"It's beautiful."

"We know that you've been having a tough time the last few months. Nothing's been easy. We know that we've been busy and sometimes we don't give you the time and attention that we used to. We just wanted to remind you of how much we love you."

"I don't really know what to say."

"It was Uncle Saul's idea. I told him that I wanted to do something just for you and this is what he came up with. They were doing some repairs on the flight deck last week. Saul took an old discarded nickel bolt from the bulkhead that was being replaced. He fed it into the merch printer and ordered this."

"He thought of that on his own?"

"Yup."

"That's the cutest thing I've ever heard," Katya said as she wiped away a few tears.

Ellen smiled and took the necklace from her. She unclasped it and then fastened it around Katya's neck. It hung gracefully, stopping just above her breast bone

"Now you've got a part of Alpha with you wherever you go so home is never far away."

Katya turned and hugged Ellen. When she leaned back her hand went to clasp the little A within her fingers. She wiped away a few more tears and smiled at the sweet gesture. She loved her family so much. She didn't deserve them. She didn't deserve any of them.

"I want to go give Uncle Saul a big hug."

Ellen thumbed at a tear of her own before it was able to make its way past her lashes.

"Me too," She agreed with a little sniff. "So quit crying so I can do your makeup and we'll get down there. Okay?"

"Yeah, okay. I love you. Thank you for this."

"Love you too, kitten."

LOCATION: DELTA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR C

MILITARY STATION EXCHANGE UNIT

BALLROOM

YEAR: 2315

When Katya and Ellen arrived at the bar Alexi and Saul were already on their second drinks. Katya had squeezed Saul so hard in thanks for his thoughtful gift that he thought that she might pop his other eye out. He told her to wear it proudly and in good health and then gave her a kiss on the cheek. They were able to have their little family toast before Blaze and the Agathons joined them. When Bill and Laura arrived they'd had another celebratory toast all together. The mood was light and jovial. It was a strange but welcome feeling for all of them. The air since Bill and Laura's resurrection had been heavy with turmoil. Though the weight wasn't exactly gone it felt good to finally allow for a temporary distraction.

Soon they were sectioned off into conversations. A few notable Delta officers came up to introduce themselves to the newest Orbit Patrol members and Saul was all too happy to be a liaison between his system colleagues and his old shipmates. Almost everyone generally seemed to be in good spirits but Katya could tell that the smile on Laura Roslin's face was still being forced to a degree. It looked almost rigid, as if it might break. At one point Katya noticed that Bill had left Laura sitting alone at the bar while he joined Saul for another introduction. Katya sidled up next to her and discreetly pushed a drink that she'd only tongued an ice cube out of in front of the woman as an offering. She smirked when Laura quickly accepted the glass and downed it in a few short gulps.

"Don't you look lovely," Katya offered as she scooted a bit closer and waved down the bartender.

When he answered she asked for a water, instructing the man to put some kind of garnish in it to masquerade its benign nature. She then proceeded to order Laura another drink without asking, though she didn't protest.

"Thank you," Laura answered once she had Katya's attentions again. "And thank for this," She said gesturing to her dress.

"Looks good on you," Katya said as she scanned the bar for people she knew. She didn't really care to find anyone. With Ellen just steps away she was just trying her best to make sure that it didn't look like she was having any sort of meaningful conversation with Laura. "You really do look very nice," She added. "Good color on you."

The bartender handed Katya her glass. She took a few sips of the ice water before giving the lime that floated on top a frustrated and almost disgusted poke with her finger.

"You look very nice too," Laura told her.

She noticed that Katya wasn't offering much in the way of eye contact but she looked healthy and beautiful in her new dress. It gave Laura a bit of relief as she remembered how she'd last seen her; flustered and faint in her cabin.

Katya chuckled and shook her head.

"No, I don't. I'm a mess. Ellen had to come over at the last minute and all but slap me together with spit and tape," She joked. "But thanks for saying so."

Laura nodded and Katya gave her a brief smile before leaving to return to Alexi's side.

Once Margot and Sydra finally showed they all made their way into the ballroom.

They sat and ate at a large round table set for ten. The flow of alcohol aided in the conversation as did Blaze's ever congenial attitude. He and Alexi were half in the bag by the time their dinner plates were taken away and they were both encouraging Helo to keep up. Though the younger men were surly enjoying the booze Bill and Saul had them all beat. They laughed and told ancient stories from shore leaves and fleet weeks. Ellen showed her own level of inebriation by adding to their tales and making Katya blush more than a few times.

Katya wished that Margot and Sydra had been seated with them. They were the only people in the room who looked just as sober as she was. The couple was assigned to a table of Delta delegates and Margot knew better than to let loose in front of her mother and bunch of stuffed shirts. Every now and then Katya and Margot would exchange looks and messages from across the room musingly asking each other for help.

There were a few formal speeches given during dessert that seemed to drag on forever. Alpha's ball was much the same and everyone knew that once the obligatory ceremonials were through the real celebration would usually begin. When the music finally started Ellen was the first to drag Saul to the dance floor. Not to be outdone Blaze sweetly asked Sharon to dance and she happily accepted. To everyone's surprise Alexi proved just how wasted he was by asking the Admiral's permission to dance with Laura. She was a little reluctant at first but seeing the rare smile on the young man's face made her change her mind. Laura thought that if anything, it might give them a moment alone to talk.

Katya was left with Bill and Karl Agathon. The two men mostly spoke over her as she sat there trying not to appear like she was pouting. She just wasn't used to being sober at events like this. She was finally realizing how awful it was to be around drunk people when you weren't drunk yourself. After a few minutes Margot came over to their table. She seemed much more at ease and happy since many of the more conservative delegates had taken their leave and her mother had given her the okay to join her friends and have a good time. She'd taken three shots in rapid succession just to catch up with her Delta comrades. Katya was relieved to finally have Margot by her side. She thought that she'd at least sit with her for a while until Alexi returned but she'd come with a mission. After less than two minutes of chit chat with Katya, Margot was pleading with Helo to explain pyramid to a group of Delta officers who were eagerly waiting at a nearby table. It seemed they'd all been quite intrigued by the new toy Margot had been toting around the station for the last few days. She'd even brought the ball to dinner and discreetly hidden it under the table as they ate. When Helo eventually agreed and went off with the specialist Bill and Katya were left on their own.

"Your husband's quite a bit more…animated when under the influence," Bill teased breaking their silence.

They both looked over to where the sergeant had Laura Roslin in his arms on the dance floor. It was a strange sight but they were both smiling.

"He sure is," Katya agreed with a roll of her eyes. "She's got her work cut out for her too," She added nodding in their direction. "Our culture doesn't just hold ballet in high esteem. We're known for ballroom dancing too and believe it or not Alexi is quite light on his feet for a marine."

Katya scanned the dance floor for the Tighs. She wanted to see if they had noticed the amusing fact that their son-in-law was dancing with Roslin, but when Katya finally saw her parents dancing together she could tell that in the moment they only had eyes for each other. Despite how crass they could be and in spite of their frequent bickering she still found them incredibly sweet. They'd been in love for thousands of years, through a few different lifetimes in a few different worlds and they still seemed as taken with each other as a couple of newlyweds.

"You know, I remember the first time I danced with Laura," Bill started as he scooted over to Alexi's empty chair. He could tell that Katya wasn't having a very good time and what Laura had told him days ago was still on his mind. She'd hardly touched her meal and he knew that she wasn't drinking though she tried to make it appear as though she were. Something about the way she sat there with a feigned pleasant look on her face made Bill want to make her genuinely smile. "It was at a celebration a lot like this. Have Saul or Ellen ever told you about Colonial Day?"

Katya was glad to see how much lighter Bill's attitude seemed and how well he wore his new uniform. She knew that the booze was helping but he looked to be in much better spirits than he had on their morning shuttle ride. She could tell that there was something different about him. He seemed happier than she'd seen him in the months since they'd met. If pledging an oath to a uniform had done that for him Katya thought that Laura would just have to find a way to get over it.

"Colonial Day? Um, maybe. I'm not sure I remember," She admitted.

"Same basic concept as your Unity Day. It celebrated the signing of our Articles of Colonization," He told her as he thought back to the night on Cloud 9. "We were under attack, running for our lives but we still wanted to keep our traditions intact as much as we could. Laura had just named Baltar her vice president," Bill explained as he looked over to where she was now dancing with the man's son. He shook his head and laughed at the irony. "We had a celebration; music, dancing and for a while she and I were able to watch our soldiers, cabinet members and crew have a good time and forget for just a moment what we were running from," He said wistfully, watching Laura in the large young man's arms. "Then I got tired of just watching and so I asked her to dance. Not in so many words but I did and she agreed."

"Uncle Saul never told me that one," Katya half smiled.

"Oh, I doubt he noticed. I think he and Ellen were just as preoccupied with each other that night as they are right now."

They both looked over at the ancient couple who gazed lovingly into each other's eyes as they danced.

"They know how to have a good time," Katya said with pride. " They still enjoy each other's company so much."

"That they do," Bill agreed. "They always have…So what do you say, Captain? Would you mind dancing with an old Colonial patriot?"

Katya turned to him and studied his face for a moment before her grin inadvertently grew. She arched her brow and cocked her head to the side before she responded.

"You're supposed to be an Earth Orbit patriot now, Sir," She corrected.

"You're right," He conceded with a nod. "C'mon. I've never danced with a real ballerina before," He said standing up and offering his daughter his hand.

She hesitated but when she took it he was finally pleased with the smile on her face.

Nearby, Blaze danced with Sharon doing his best not to step on her feet in his less than sober state. Sharon didn't care though. It was so sweet the way he'd asked her to join him. She knew in some way that it must have made Karl proud. As she held him close she was filled with a strange mix of emotions. He really was a grown man. In the short time that they'd known Blaze he and Karl were starting to get along like old friends, like brothers. It was nice to see but Laura was right. So much had been taken from them. Sharon knew they'd never get Blaze's childhood back but while they danced she promised herself that she would savor every moment she had with him from now on. As their dancing continued she suddenly felt like he'd become less than enthusiastic about it. Something about his posture and speed had changed. It was only when they turned a bit that she noticed the Old Man and his daughter had joined the dance floor.

"So how long have you been in love with the Captain?" Sharon asked getting Blazer's attention.

He leaned back and gave her a confused smile.

"Call it mother's intuition," She shrugged. "You've also been looking in her direction every five minutes since we got here."

She'd seen the way he was looking at Katya since they were at the bar, though she'd surmised his feelings from little things he'd said over the past few weeks. Sharon could tell that the light in his eyes changed whenever he spoke of his Koshka. Now that they were alone she figured that she would bring it up. If they were going to take advantage of being together now, she might as well jump in with both feet. When he didn't answer right away she frowned, afraid that she'd overstepped. They continued dancing and Blaze was uncharacteristically quiet for a moment longer.

"It's not like that," He said eventually.

"It's not?"

"No. Not really. Not anymore."

Sharon gave a little smirk. She didn't want to insult him but she didn't believe it worth a damn.

"You sure?"

She watched him look back to where Adama held the young woman in his arms.

"No," He admitted before giving her his eyes again and blushing with an honest but sad smile.

Sharon just shrugged against him as they swayed.

"No judgment. I have to say I'm a little surprised, though. I mean, I know I haven't known you for long but she…isn't exactly what I pictured as your type."

"You've pictured my type?" He teased.

"Well, once I noticed."

"Well then tell me, Lt. Agathon, what is my type?"

Sharon tilted her head in consideration.

"Someone friendly, personable…kind?"

She regretted her words when she saw him grimace.

"Katya's a good person. You just don't know her. She just comes off kinda…harsh."

"I didn't mean any disrespect," Sharon attempted.

"Forget it," Blaze shrugged. "Sorry. I shouldn't have even…She's my partner. She's my brother's wife. She's one of the best people I know. I do love her but that's all it is."

"Okay."

Sharon noticed when Blaze led them purposely out of view of the Captain and the Admiral.

"So what else does your mother's intuition tell you about me?"

Sharon considered her answer for a moment and leaned in to hug her son a bit tighter.

"It tells me that someday soon you're gunna find someone who loves you in the same way that you love them," She told him as she leaned back and gave him a genuine and almost apologetic smile. "It also tells me that you and I are getting another drink after this song."

Blaze chuckled and nodded.

"Sounds like a plan, Athena."

Katya felt a little uneasy in Bill's arms at first. He was looking right at her. His eyes almost seemed to demand that hers meet them as they dance but she just couldn't. She didn't trust herself to look right at him. She'd seen the intensity of his gaze. Whether he was angry or amused it inspired a reaction from everyone it fell upon. She didn't know what kind of response she'd have she chose to look back at him now.

"I want to thank you, Katya," Bill told her in a firm but low voice.

"Thank me? For what?"

"For keeping your promise. For making an effort."

Katya shook her head as they moved to the music.

"Don't thank me for that."

"Why not?"

"Because you're just thanking me for not being a miserable brat. That doesn't deserve thanks."

Bill couldn't help but love the feeling of having his daughter in his arms. No matter how she felt about him in return he was already glad to know her. In a way he thought that he had been from the first night he'd learned of her. He still remembered the feeling he got when he held Laura in bed that night, knowing in some way that they'd created a life together. At the time he'd been ashamed of those feelings. It felt wrong with all the hurt surrounding the situation. He didn't feel ashamed anymore. He had a child with the woman he loved. He finally had a daughter. It was like being with Kara again but with a new and tangible connection. Katya's entry into the world was strange and almost morbid but he'd finally gotten his little girl. The one he'd always hoped for and best of all, she was Laura's.

Bill shrugged in consideration of Katya's dismissive words.

"I think you've been doing a bit more than that. I think you've at least tried, especially with Laura. I can tell you that she's grateful. I know what you did for her. I know what you've done for the both of us for years now. I think that deserves some thanks."

"I haven't done much where Laura's concerned and I can't say I'll do much more. I just…I don't know."

Katya gave up trying to explain herself.

"That's okay. She doesn't know either," Bill chuckled as they stepped abou he dancefloor. She is worried about you though," He admitted after a beat. Katya pulled back like she was going to leave but Bill held on to her tighter. "Relax, Captain, relax. I'm not asking you a thing. And if it makes you feel any better, you look strong and healthy to me. I just want you to know that you have our sincere offer of support. If you were to ever need anything we would do our best. That's all. It's all I wanted to say. I know that you have a set of parents already. I know that they love you very much. Just know there are two more people around now who care about your wellbeing."

Katya's face was stolid but after a moment she nodded.

Bill was happy when she allowed him to hug her a little tighter. As they danced closely Bill found himself smiling again and thinking back to their shuttle ride to Delta. He wouldn't share it with Laura, because it was none of their business but he had his own theory when it came to their daughter's apparent health and he wasn't worried at all.

Bill's thoughts were interrupted when he felt a tap on his shoulder. He leaned away from Katya to find Saul standing beside them.

"Ellen went to hit the bar again. Mind if I cut in, Admiral?"

"Not at all," Bill said releasing Katya's hand. "Thanks for the dance, Captain," He told her with a wink and a sincere smile.

She nodded at him and as she watched him walk off she bit down on her tongue hard enough that she tasted the slight tang of copper once she swallowed. Saul reached to take Katya's hands but instead she quickly wrapped her arms all the way around him. She rested her head on his shoulder hiding her face in the crook of his neck. He was surprised at the force with which she clung to him. He hugged her back and after a few moments he got her to sway with him to the music just a bit.

"What's the matter, princess?"

"I don't know."

'What don't you know?"

"Anything," She mumbled.

She knew that she sounded like toddler but she didn't care. That was how she felt.

"I think you know more than that," Saul said with a low chuckle into her hair.

"I know that I love you and Aunt Ellen and that I love Alexi and that's all I know anymore."

"Well to know those things for sure is to know an awful lot, kit. At least that's the way I see it."

"Sometimes it's all I want to know."

"You know that we love ya back. That doubles your knowledge right there," He teased.

"I guess so."

"And…I think you just might have some room in your heart for a few others some day."

"That I don't know."

When Katya had seen Saul after being in Bill's arms it made her want to clutch on to him and remind herself of who her father was. It was a painfully familiar feeling. She could still remember when she'd first started to become comfortable with her adoptive dad. She'd taken to Ellen right away. Feminine care and comfort was something that Katya had never known and as soon as it was offered to her she'd soaked up every bit. Loving Saul had taken more time. She liked him. He was sweet to her. He was protective, funny and kind but for a long time she'd felt guilty about her feelings for him. She'd already had a father who she loved. She'd watched him die. It felt strange when she'd found herself anxiously awaiting Saul's homecoming in the evenings or when she'd miss his goodnight kisses when he had a late shift. Somehow it felt disrespectful toward Mikhail Isakoff. She'd hardly grieved him before allowing another man to become her beloved protector and guardian. At just seven years old she would lay awake in her rack trying to convince herself that she didn't love Saul as much a she'd loved her father. One day she finally admitted to herself that it was a lie. Now there was Bill Adama but Saul hadn't gone anywhere.

"It's alright, kit. You don't have to know that. Not right now. You know what else I know?"

"What?"

"You're the prettiest girl in the room."

"I feel like a mess," She confessed in a voice that sounded so pitiful to her own ears that it made her cringe.

"You don't look it. I may just have the one eye but I can see that," He said trying to lift the obvious doubt she felt. "I know that Ellen's been buggin' ya, kit. She thinks there's something up with you. She says you're always worn out. She's worried about you but ya' know what?"

"What?"

"I'm not."

"You're not?"

"Nope. Not even. Ellen thinks you've been looking tired and acting distracted. I don't see it. In fact I think you look great."

"You're just trying to make me feel better."

"No way. I mean it. I don't know what it is. Just something about you lately."

Katya was caught off guard by just how deeply Saul's few thoughtful words touched her. Ellen and Laura were acting so concerned; questioning her left and right to try and find out what she was withholding. She felt like lately she was being watched and scrutinized by the both of them. Though Bill had given her some encouraging words she couldn't help but suspect that he'd be reporting back to Laura. Katya knew that she was being carefully observed by all four of them but somehow she felt like Saul was the only one who could truly see her.

"I love you, Uncle Saul."

"Right back at ya, kit."

LOCATION: DELTA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY VISITORS QUARTERS: ASSIGNMENT; ISAKOFF/PETROV

YEAR: 2315

It wasn't Ellen's beach. The sand wasn't rocky and pebbled. It was fine, peppered with shells and seaweed. The waves were white capped and seemed to dully roar against the shoreline instead of washing calmly in and out. There was no sunset. There was overcast. It could have been a little before dawn or a little before dusk but there wasn't any way to tell, not that she'd know the difference anyway. The breeze was more harsh, the smell of salt a little more pungent. It wasn't unpleasant it was just different. The muted glow that the clouds gave off was somewhat peaceful and the delicate sand felt good under her feet. Katya walked against the gentle breeze so it blew her hair back from her shoulders and her skirt against her legs. She couldn't see an end to the banks ahead of her but she didn't care. She just kept walking. She walked until she spotted a bit of color in the water, some bright yellow floating in with the sea-green surf. When she bent down to pick it up she found that it was a child's toy shovel. It was the kind that Ellen would project for her when she was little and they'd sit on their projected beach. She would dig in the sand while Ellen sat and relaxed, soaking in a dreamed up sunset. When Katya looked up shore for somewhere to discard it she was surprised to see a child playing in the sand not far from where she was standing. She shook her head in confusion wondering how she'd missed her there. The girl couldn't have been more than three, maybe four. She sat alone in the sand surrounded by more of the brightly colored little toys as the breeze blew through her sweet russet red pigtails. Deciding the surf must have stolen the shovel away from the child, Katya walked up to return it. As she got closer the little girl continued to busily play, not paying any mind to the world around her.

"Hello," Katya greeted.

The little girl looked up at her with eyes the color of the ocean's waves and only gave her a silent smile.

"Privyet?" She tried but got no answer. "Hmm, no? Let's see, Nǐ hǎo?" Katya attempted again. The little girl just looked back down to her toys and continued to play. "Okay, so you don't want to say hello. That's alright. Is this yours?" She asked, bending to her knees and offering the girl the shovel. "I think the waves got it."

The child grinned happily and reached for it.

"Yes!" She said, eagerly taking her toy.

"Ah, so you do understand me," Katya smirked as she handed it over. The little girl just gave her another impish grin and went back to her sand.

Taking a look around Katya couldn't find another soul on the beach. There didn't seem to be anyone watching the young child. She wondered who would have left such a little girl there all on her own.

"Sweetie, where's your mom?" Katya asked but the child didn't respond. Immediately she regretted the question. If someone had asked her that at four years old she wouldn't have known how to answer either. "Are you here by yourself?" She tried again.

This time the toddler looked up and shook her head.

"No? You're not?" Katya asked as she looked around the area once more.

"I'm waiting for my brother," The girl casually added as she dumped a bucket of sand out by her little feet.

"Your brother? Oh…well alright. Do you mind if I sit with you until he comes?" Katya asked not wanting to leave the child unattended.

The girl nodded and she joined her.

"I'm Katya. What's your name?"

The girl looked over to her with another friendly but tight lipped smile.

"Don't want to tell me, huh? That's okay," Katya said figuring the child must be painfully shy. "We're at the beach…I'll just call you rybka," She teased.

Surprisingly the girl let out an amused giggle.

The sound was an unexpected delight to Katya's ears. It sounded like music or tiny precious chimes being carried away with the wind.

"What's that?" The girl asked through her sweet little laughs. "Rybka?" She attempted to repeat.

Katya smiled, happy to have her talking.

"It means, little fish," She translated before puckering her lips into a fish kiss. The girl laughed again and then mimicked her, making her own darling lips do the same. Katya's grin grew. "Yes, rybka it is," She decided with a wink and a nod. "You know, rybka, I know someone else with pretty green eyes like yours."

"You do?"

"Yes. Just as pretty as the sea," She told her as she surveyed the sand in front of them. "So what is this green-eyed little fishy making?"

"Rocket ships."

"Rocket ships," Katya repeated, "Very useful. And where will you fly when you're done?"

"I won't fly them."

"Then who will, rybka?"

"Husker and Helo."

"Hm?"

Katya's brow crinkled, caught off guard by the little one's answer.

"My brother's here. I have to go now," She replied without looking up from where her tiny hands were still patting down the sand.

"He is?" Katya asked, looking around for whomever the child was referring to but she couldn't find anyone, "Sweetie, I don't see…"

She glanced back toward where her young companion was seated and found her missing. She hurriedly looked around wondering where such a small girl could have possibly gone to so quickly. Then in an instant somehow Katya understood that she wouldn't find the little girl or her brother no matter how hard she looked for them. She sat there in solemn disappointment until the tide came in and took the yellow toy shovel back with it.

"Kat! Kat!"

Katya shot up in bed with a gasp at the sound of Alexi's shouting voice.

"Jeez, Lex! What the fuck?!"

"I was trying to wake you up."

"Nice job!"

"You were panting and sweaty. Were you having a nightmare?"

He watched her face. She seemed unsure of how to answer.

"No…No but thanks for the lovely morning greeting though. Scared the hell out of me."

Alexi winced. He hadn't meant to. He was trying to make things better by freeing her from the fitful sleep and whatever was causing her so much distress.

"I'm sorry, myshka. Are you alright?"

"Yes. I'm fine."

"Good. Cause we need to go. Quick. We overslept. We're going to be late to the meeting if we don't hustle."

"Shit," She said with a huff, flopping back against her pillow.

"Up, Yekaterina. That's down."

"I'm coming."

"Faster, Koshka. Let's go. This is it. It's the last one. Let's just go get it over with."

LOCATION: DELTA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR C

MED WARD

YEAR: 2315

Delta's ward had been prepped just like the others; cleared of all other patients. Ellen's stream pedestal, the tubs, the grotesque cylon cables and connectors that protruded from them; it was all the same. The only thing that seemed any different besides the amount of people in attendance was the level of expectancy in the air. The anticipation had been great with the others but it was never like this. The usually cold and brisk ward air now seemed thick with apprehension and dense with hope.

There was something else unspoken that made the atmosphere seem especially heavy on the shoulders of a few of the attendants. This would be Ellen's last direct contribution to the project. She'd done all that she'd promised. Though she knew that she would continue to help in the fight she also knew that this final resurrection would complete the plans she'd started so long ago. By the end of the day what she'd worked so hard to discover for years upon years would be wiped clear from her memory. She'd always thought that it would bring her relief. Instead she felt as though she was about to sacrifice another precious part of herself. Even so, she was ready, willing and determined to do what she felt was right. All she had to do was glance over at her daughter and it was enough to remind her that she wanted Katya to live in a world where mortality was sacred, life was precious and peace was practiced.

The previous evening had turned out better than any of them expected. Katya and Laura were the first to excuse themselves but the rest stayed out well into the night. At some point Alexi and Blaze had helped Sydra pour Margot into bed. To say she'd overdone it would be an understatement. No one blamed her, though. They all understood the significance of what she would soon be facing. All they could do was keep an eye on her and let her have some fun. Her mother hadn't stayed around much passed the Unity dinner. Though the Tighs were drunk enough themselves they kept a watchful eye on the girl all night. It was when she tried to start the system's very first pickup-game of pyramid on the dance floor that Sydra asked the Colonel for help. It took Saul a few gruff orders that he knew the specialist wouldn't remember in the morning to get her to willing let the boys take her home. She'd totally missed the morning briefing. With the shape she'd been in none of them knew just how she'd managed to wake up, dress in full uniform and drag herself to the ward. After one look at her Katya had quickly grabbed a chair and insisted that she sit while they all awaited the final preparations. Margot had been slumped over with her pounding head resting on the captain's hip ever since.

Katya stayed sturdily in place, allowing Margot to use her for support. She ran her fingers through the other woman's pixie blonde hair and every now and then rubbed gently at her temple. She'd been in her position before and she could only assume that her head was throbbing. Katya watched Dr. Le Blanc as she prepped for the download. She had hardly acknowledged her daughter when she'd arrived. It was obvious that the doctor was understandably angry that Margot had missed the meeting. When she'd seen her condition that anger only escalated. When the specialist first stumbled in through the curtains Sydra had attempted to go over to her. Le Blanc stopped her in her tracks insisting that she had work to do. The timid young scientist could only give her lover a sympathetic look before going back to her duties. Margot had gone too far at the party but Katya still couldn't help but feel bad that her friend didn't have her mother's support during such a difficult time. She'd been a mess herself before Roslin and Adama's resurrections. She'd gotten trashed the night before and she'd woken up miserable, insisting that she wouldn't even attend the download. She'd insulted her parents, acted selfishly and even so, they'd been by her side with encouragement, assurance and loving hugs. Michelle Le Blanc gave Margot none of that and as Katya stared at the woman she hated her for it and for a thousand other old reasons.

"Here," Sharon's voice interrupted Katya's thoughts. She held out a small cup of water in one hand a two capsules of some sort in the other. "I got it from one of the medics."

"Oh, thanks. That's probably a good idea," Katya answered.

She rubbed her friend's shoulder, trying to encourage her to sit up but Margot shook her head against her hip. Katya looked at Sharon and shrugged. She didn't want to move away from the poor girl. She wasn't sure how much she was actually supporting Margot's weight. Though everyone's attentions were on Ellen and Dr. Le Blanc, Margot's entrance hadn't gone unnoticed and Katya didn't want to make an ever bigger spectacle by letting her fall.

Sharon nodded and kneeled down in front of Margot's chair. She placed the cup on the floor and handed Katya the pills. Gingerly, she put a hand on the girl's knee and spoke in as soft a voice as she could manage.

"I had fun last night," Sharon started. Margot cringed at the mere mention of the event. She closed her eyes against the light and turned her forehead further into Katya's hip but Sharon continued. "I think it was the first time I really laughed since my resurrection. It felt good…Doesn't feel all that great right now, but still." Sharon joked, getting the tiniest smile and nod out of the girl. They were all hung over but Sharon could tell that Margot's emotional state was making it so much worse for her. "I know that you don't really know me and I don't really know you but I knew your mother, Margot. She was a complicated woman but she was strong and determined and I can tell that you are too," Sharon could feel the despair coming from the young officer. She knew that she shouldn't be reading her but she just seemed to need someone. "I can also tell that you have lots of people who love and care for you, even if they aren't the ones you'd expect." Margot opened her eyes at Sharon's words. She could tell that the other cylon woman was reading her. She was too miserable and tired to be annoyed. She certainly didn't have the energy to block her and for some reason she didn't really want to. Something about the way she was speaking to her was actually somewhat soothing. "You can get through this. Hasn't Ellen ever told you about her theory about cylon women? She says we're different. She says were special and that we can understand and endure things that others can't. I sure as hell know we're tough as nails," Sharon teased.

Margot gave a small but definite smile at Sharon's last remark and when Katya gave her another pat to the shoulder she finally sat up and took her weight off of her friend's side. Katya handed the pills back to Sharon who offered them silently to the girl in the chair. Margot hesitantly took them and when Sharon offered her the small cup of water she downed the entire thing. Her thank you wasn't much more than a whisper but Sharon could feel that it was genuine. With a nod and a compassionate smile she stood up and made her way back to Helo's side.

"That poor girl," Laura whispered so that only Bill would hear.

She'd been watching the scene from across the room with tears in her eyes. Though she couldn't hear what Sharon was saying to Margot she could see the pain in the young woman's posture and she knew that it wasn't just from a night of overindulgence.

"She was pounding them back pretty hard last night," Bill shrugged. "You left early. You didn't see the worst of it. I'm surprised she's even awake. She's paying the price for it now."

"No, Bill. She's paying the price but not for that. These kids have been suffering the consequences of something that wasn't their fault their whole lives. It's so unfair."

Bill nodded in understanding and put his arm around Laura. They watched their daughter comfort her lifelong friend as Blaze and Alexi stood protectively nearby. It seemed wrong to be glad that such a violation had been committed four times over but Bill couldn't help but be grateful that they'd all had one another. He could tell by the way they were looking at their anguished peer that they all knew her pain intimately. It was a sad sort of comfort to know that they at least had company in their hardship.

Though Saul was aware of the specialist's conditio, his focus was on his wife as she prepared for the final download. He saw thousands upon thousands of years of devotion in her eyes and he hated what he knew he would have to do once the resurrection was complete. He agreed with the reasoning but to wipe out any part of the brilliant mind of the woman he loved was going to hurt. He'd known some of the strongest people alive in his time but he'd never known a strength quite like Ellen's. He balled his hands into fists at his sides as he walked up to where she stood staring at Sam's unconscious body.

"You ready?"

Ellen shook her head as her eyes welled.

"I promised him so long ago that I would see this through."

She had made that promise to Sam twice over. Once when they'd left their Earth and then again when they'd left him to die within Galactica's superheated bulkheads. Saul had a feeling that she was referring to both.

"And you did. People can say a lot of things about you, Ellen but you've never been one to break a promise. I love that about you."

She nodded and wiped a tear off of her cheek with the back of her hand.

"I'm ready."

"I'll be right behind you."

Ellen took her place by the pedestal with Saul at her back. She cleared her throat a few times trying to get everyone's attention but the fog of their hangovers, lack of sleep and the distraction of their internal thoughts was keeping most of them in a daze. Finally, Blaze noticed that Ellen was struggling to keep her composure as she tried to get the attention of the room.

"Eyes up front!" He barked making half the room jump in surprise.

Ellen gave him a small smile and a nod of thanks. He winked at her in return hoping his usual casual flirting would put her somewhat at ease.

"I think that Dr. Le Blanc, Dr. Kahdim and I are ready to begin," Ellen started. "I guess that I just wanted to say something before we started…I've been trying to remember what it was that I said before our first download so that I wouldn't repeat myself and then I realized that almost half the people in this room weren't even around to hear it. I guess that means we've really done it. I used to send my raiders into Orbit with the simple message of an offer of help, only to watch them get shot down time after time. Then one day someone listened. Saul and I wanted to help the Orbit system because we felt like it was our divinely given duty. Our hybrid and your Quartz Plates; it all just seemed to line up. We felt drawn to play protectors but after the last decade and a half of living within the system I can say that we also want to help because this has become our home. Its people have become our friends and family and we want to see them finally live life peacefully and safely. I don't know if there was a lesson learned this time or not. Something tells me that even if it was, it'll be forgotten one day. As sad as that is I suppose that's the lesson I've learned. All that I can say is that my husband and I have done our part and we're glad that we did. This might be the last step in our plan but we won't rest until we have nothing left to give…That's all...That's all I wanted to say." The room was silent as Ellen looked over the faces that watched her. She hadn't expected anything in return. There wasn't anything for anyone to say. She felt Saul's hand come up from behind her and rest supportively on her shoulder. When he gave it a gentle squeeze she swallowed hard. "I'm ready if you are, Michelle," Ellen said looking over at Dr. Le Blanc who nodded in agreement.

Everything went as planned. Ellen was able to connect to the other side as smoothly as she had the last two times. Sometimes she was unnerved by how easily she was able to tap into it once she'd figured it out. It was scary but it was familiar. She'd been there a few times before herself. They'd all passed through before resurrecting. That was how it worked. She'd just never gotten to spend much time there. Her need to get back to the living had always been so strong and she wondered what it was that made Laura speak of the other side as if it were nirvana. Ellen hadn't ever felt the pull to go back. Though she sometimes felt the endless burden as much as Saul did she loved life too much to ever consciously want to return. She wondered if death would ever really come for her but for now she still had a job to do.

She focused on D'Anna first; one of her precious creations. She'd made her brave and strong and she'd filled her with the fear and love of a holy divine creator. Ellen wondered sometimes if she'd made the Threes too dominant. She'd done it so that the other models would have a protector, someone to look to for guidance. The line was intended to be seen as sort of an older sister but they'd turned into near narcissists. Ellen could remember when the Three to her left decided to name herself. Cavil had scoffed at the idea, Galen and Tori had refused to even acknowledge it but Ellen was proud. She thought that it was proof of their individuality, proof of their separate souls. She'd made their bodies, programmed their defining traits but their essence had come from a higher force than herself. D'Anna had been true evidence of that.

Ellen could still remember when Saul told her about leaving D'Anna Biers on a decimated Earth. No one could understand how it had broken her heart to learn that her husband had gotten back his shuttle without the Three.

"How could you have left her there, Saul? She was the last of her line. They're extinct."

Saul had furrowed his brow, shaking his head at his wife.

"She wanted to stay, Ellen. We made her; built her to function within this life. She never asked us to and she just didn't want to do it anymore. She had a mind of her own, her own free will. The least I could do for her was to let her use it," He'd argued.

For a while Ellen believed that she could have convinced D'Anna to come back with them. For sometime she'd clung on to the thought that she could have changed her mind. Eventually she'd accepted that the last of her Threes had chosen to die on what was left of their old home and there was nothing that she could do about it.

Though Ellen knew that Saul was right about letting D'Anna choose for herself she'd always suspected that it had been quite hard for him to leave the Three there to die. Once the project started in Orbit and he jumped at the chance to bring her back in Starbuck's place Ellen knew that she'd been right all along.

When a high pitched strangled gasp came from Ellen's left she felt herself jump and wince.

"Got her!" Le Blanc's voice shouted.

It was almost enough to make Ellen slip. She felt Saul leave her side and rush toward D'Anna's tub. For a moment she thought that it had broken her concentration but when the tingling in her upper body didn't fade she told herself to go on. She could feel her hands shaking within the shallow fluid of the stream. She'd been waiting so long for this. She cringed as she remembered the way she'd seen Sam last. She couldn't use that memory to bring him back. She had so many others to choose from. She could still picture him as a young scientist back on their Earth. He had a quick wit and was a blatant charmer even then. Saul couldn't stand when he'd bring his guitar into the office. He said it was a bunch of noise but Ellen loved it. She got a kick out of it. Of course she flirted with him mercilessly. It was mostly harmless and he'd known her well enough to understand that it was just a habit. He was more of a protégé to her than anything else. She thought that he was brilliant, that he could have done so much for their planet but the end had come. Sometimes their journey to the Twelve Colonies felt as if it would never end. Sam was her rock during times when Saul struggled with holding on to his own hope and sanity. Sam Anders had always been there for her. Ellen smirked as she recalled their last project together before they'd all forgotten who they'd ever been; the development of the eight models. She'd put Saul and Sam in charge of designing the physical body of the sixth model. It was a decision she rued to this day. She remembered how she'd voiced her disapproval to Sam at one point, accusing their design of being nothing but a blatant sexual fantasy with no real thought behind it. She was well aware that she was being irrationally jealous but she'd never been particularly good a quelling her baser reactions. She'd gone to Sam first knowing that Saul would just accuse her of being envious. Sam had looked her right in the eyes and tilted his head for a moment as he seemed to ponder something.

"Saul wants hazel," He'd said after a beat, "But no. No, I'm going to give her a set of blue eyes. Just the same blue as yours, Ellen. You were our inspiration after all. Blue in your honor," He'd told her with a smile before walking away without another word.

She hadn't bothered either one of them with their design again.

For some reason Ellen didn't hear Sam's hacking and struggling right away. She didn't hear Sydra's calls or the accelerated beeping of the monitors either. It was as if she'd gone in deeper to get him somehow. When she finally heard Sydra calling for her she looked over toward Sam's tub. He was already sitting up and fighting to breathe. She'd heard almost nothing from D'Anna but Sam was loud and he surely wasn't resting anymore. He was fighting against poor Sydra as the small woman tried to keep an oxygen mask over his mouth. Ellen didn't know how he'd woken with such strength. Bill had woken angry but not like this. Sam's eyes were wild and she tried to get him to focus on her voice while she struggled to assist the doctor.

"Sam? Sam sweetie, it's Ellen. Please calm down. You're safe. Please? It's Ellen Tigh, Sam!"

The machine gauging his heart rate was chiming at a rapid pace and adding to the anxiety of the moment. She pleaded with him over and over but he only hacked, coughed and thrashed around in return. A medic came over to assist Sydra and for a moment they were able to hold him steady within the tub. Ellen looked over her shoulder at her husband who was sitting beside the relatively and even strangely calm D'Anna. He held the newly woken woman's dripping hand, watching on as she struggled to take even breaths behind the O2 mask while Le Blanc assessed her vitals. As Ellen watched she decided that she wouldn't take him from the Three. She could calm Sam on her own.

"Sam? Sam, it's Ellen," She repeated. "I brought you back. You've resurrected and you're safe. I just need you to calm down. It will all be okay if you just calm down and let me explain."

That time he seemed to hear her but it didn't have the calming effect that she'd intended. With a burst of new energy Sam shot up in the tub freeing himself from the medic's firm grip and batting Sydra's hand away and his O2 mask along with it. The force of his body made the tub's fluid slosh and spill over the sides. In moments he was clawing at the rim of the vat trying to get enough leverage to pull himself up. Ellen panicked and before she could think to call for the help of the medic she stood to try and push him back within the depths of the tub. In a sudden rage Sam pushed against her with an untamed force. With the ward floor already slick with cylon goo Ellen slipped and fell backwards onto the floor.

"Ellen!" Katya shouted as she watched her hit the cold hard surface.

Margot had been more than alert since the start of the resurrection process and Katya didn't even think to stay beside her when she saw the man put his hands on Ellen. In seconds she was hurrying toward the scene.

"Katya, stay here!" Alexi called after her. He didn't want her anywhere near the chaos that was brewing "Katya, stoy! Ostanovis! Stoy!" He shouted but his wife hardly heard him as she rushed to Ellen's side.

He followed her halfway and stopped when it seemed the medic had Anders under control.

"Ellen, shit! Are you okay?" Katya asked worriedly as she knelt down by her aunt.

She put her hand out for Ellen to take but was shocked when her forearm was abruptly gripped by a slick and powerful fist. Katya looked at the large glistening hand that held her arm like a vice and then up toward the face of the man it belonged to. Anders had struggled out of the medic's grip yet again and he was sitting up and looking right at her with savage eyes.

"Kara?" He said softly at first, "Kara!" He shouted it this time and as the volume of his voice grew so did the grip he had on Katya's arm.

"Get your fucking hands off of her!" Alexi shouted as he rushed the rest of the way toward Sam's tub.

"Back off, Sergent! We've got this," Saul yelled as he left D'Anna's side and went toward his wife and daughter.

Sharon immediately took his place by the Three with Karl not far behind. She knelt down by D'Anna and as she made eye contact with the woman's blue-grey stare the look in her eyes gave Sharon chills. She'd seen her eyes after putting a few bullets in her, but this was nothing like that. For a moment she was lost in D'Anna's gaze until she heard Sergeant Petrov's enraged bellowing voice once again.

"Get this asshole's hand off of her now or I will!" Alexi demanded in the Colonel's direction.

Katya was too stunned to say anything. All she could do was stare back at Sam, mouth agape as he bore into her eyes and tried to pull her in closer.

"Sam!" Ellen shouted as she struggled to her knees again. "Sam, honey please let go. Kara isn't here. You need to let go," She told him, over and over but it was like he couldn't even hear her.

"Kara, Gods, Kara where have you been?" Sam cried, never once breaking his gaze with Katya.

"Let her go, you ancient fuck!" Alexi growled into Sam's ear but the cylon man made no indication that he knew the sergeant was even there.

"Back off, Sergeant!" Tigh ordered again.

"Then do something!"

Ellen put a hand up as if she could physically block Alexi's anger.

"Sam, sweetie, please stop. Please let go. It's Ellen. You have to listen to me. Kara isn't here. She's not here. Saul and I tried to bring her back but we couldn't. We tried so hard. We just couldn't do it. This is my daughter and I need you to let go of her. We're all here to help you if you'll just let us."

Ellen's eyes started to tear as she pleaded with him.

"Anders let go," Saul added. "We'll explain everything just let her go."

"Kara, say something!" Sam begged. His face changed from irate to desperate as he held steady onto Katya's arm and locked into her gaze. "Please, Kara. Don't you know how long I've been looking for you?"

"He's crazy!" Alexi barked, "Sydra, Le Blanc, do something! He's out of his mind!"

Laura could nearly see the steam coming out of the young man's ears and she didn't blame him. Though she didn't know exactly why, it was obvious that he was more than a little concerned for his wife's safety and she had a feeling he had every right to be. She'd seen just how quickly Katya could take ill. She didn't know if Sam's minor assault would trigger such an episode but she couldn't stand by and wait to find out.

"Bill, do something," Laura urged. "He needs to let her go."

"Saul!" Bill shouted but before he could continue the Colonel cut him off.

"I've got this, Bill!"

"It doesn't look like you do!" Bill argued but Saul didn't answer.

"Put the motherfucker out!" Alexi demanded. The veins on his muscled neck were protruding and Ellen didn't know if she'd ever seen him so angry. She was afraid of what he might do to Sam if he she couldn't make him let go soon. "Sydra, do it!" Alexi told the doctor in a voice that vibrated in her eardrums.

"No!" Ellen protested. "No, please not yet! He won't hurt her, Alexi! Stop it!" She cried. "Sam, please, let go. Please. You're confused. I want to help you. Me and Saul, we're here for you. I need you to let go. Just…please?" She shook her head in frustration when she couldn't even get his attention away from Katya for a single moment. "I need help, Saul."

"Helo!" The Colonel shouted. "See if you can get his grip off of the Captain's arm," He instructed.

"Are you kidding me!?" Alexi roared again. "You're going to pry him off of her!? Fine, let me do it. I'm ready to tear his arm off."

"Blazer!" Saul shouted.

The Colonel didn't have to give him a directive. Blaze knew that he was being asked to control his brother. He just didn't know if he wanted to. He was ready to punch Sam Anders out himself. He swiftly made his way over to Alexi putting himself between the sergeant and the chaos of the tub to placate Tigh for the time being.

As Helo wedged himself into the scene and attempted to get to work Margot followed. She shook off what was left of her nausea and sunk down behind Katya. She held her at the hip with one supportive hand and protectively wedged the other between the hard slippery edge of the tub that she knew had to be pressing harshly into the other woman's abdomen.

"It's alright, Kat. I've got ya. Just a second. You're okay," She tried to assure her but Katya was silent as Margot felt her body trembling under her embrace.

"C'mon, Sam. It's Helo. Just let go, man," Karl encouraged as he struggled like hell to peel the man's slick fingers off of the captain's quivering arm. "I dunno, Colonel, he won't budge."

"Kara, please! Talk to me! Please!" Sam begged again into Katya's stunned face.

"That's it," Alexi said balling his fists. "If you won't put him out I will!"

"Alexi, no!" Ellen nearly screamed.

"Back the frak off , Sergeant or I'll have you thrown in the frakkin' brig!" Saul threatened.

"Then you're going to have to toss us both in, Tigh!" Blaze interjected, ready to unleash Alexi. "I'm with the Serge. He's gunna hurt her!"

"Saul, this is making it worse!" Bill shouted across the room.

"Ellen, please let them do something," Laura pleaded. "This isn't working."

"She's right, Ellen," Helo added. "I can't do it. He's on her like a bear trap."

"I agree," Le Blanc called as she left D'Anna's side and hurried over to the frantic huddle, "Sydra, put him out. Now!" She demanded.

Sydra didn't know what to do. Ellen started sobbing loudly at Le Blanc's order.

"Mrs. Tigh?" Sydra asked, looking for her superior's confirmation.

Ellen was in tears and she couldn't answer.

"Aunt Ellen," Katya finally whispered. Her eyes didn't leave Sam's. It was like she couldn't make herself look away no matter how much she wanted to, "Aunt Ellen, please? Please...make him stop."

Ellen looked at the force with which Sam held Katya's arm and then at the fear on her daughter's face. Finally she nodded.

"Just do it, Sydra!" She cried, "Don't knock him out! Give him something to calm him down. I want him to stay conscious!"

"Yes, Ma'am" Sydra said as she went to work loading a syringe pistol.

"It's for your own good, man," Helo told Sam before abandoning his place beside him and joining Sharon by the eerily silent D'Anna.

"Kara! Kara no! Make them stop! Don't let them do it, Kara! Kara, please!" Sam begged Katya before Sydra lurched over the expanse of the tub and shot him in the side of the neck with the sedative.

"Kara," Sam rasped hoarsely once more before his grip released and he slunk backward into the cool murky gel.

Katya slumped back into Margot's lap.

The specialist's arms went around her holding her in place.

"I've got you, Kat. You're okay," She told her.

"Myshka!" Alexi shouted as he made his way over.

Blaze joined them and the three bombarded Katya with an onslaught of concerned questions as Ellen sobbed by Sam's shoulder.

"I told you, Sam," Ellen cried, "Why didn't you listen?"

Sam winced as he struggled to keep his eyes opened.

"Karaaa," He repeated in a low strained voice making Ellen shake her head in frustration.

She didn't want his resurrection to go like this. This wasn't how she'd pictured it.

"Sergeant!" Saul shouted once he was sure that Sam was no longer a threat to himself or anyone else. "I want to speak to you outside!"

"Not a chance!" Alexi protested, "I'm not leaving her!"

"You're lucky I don't have your fellow marines toss your ass behind bars. Now get up and go!"

Alexi stood up and turned toward his father-in-law.

"I'm not leaving my wife's side."

"The hell you're not," Saul seethed.

When they heard Anders mumbling they both turned toward the tub.

"My wife, my wife," He repeated in his drug induced fog.

"That guy is a lunatic!" Alexi growled at Saul. "She's your daughter! I'd think you'd be more concerned!"

"Outside, Sergeant! Now!" Saul howled as he pointed emphatically to the curtain.

Blaze stood up in Alexi's defense.

"Colonel, give him a break. C'mon," Blazer argued.

"I will not give him a break! He was totally out of line!"

Laura took Blaze's abandoned spot by Katya's side. Ellen seemed totally distracted by Sam's state and Margot couldn't seem to really assess the other girl's condition with the captain sitting on her lap.

"Are you okay, Katya?" Laura asked as she took hold of the girl's wet and already bruising forearm. The fluid coating her arm made Laura's hand tingle on contact and she pulled it away for a second in surprise before forcing it back. Katya still looked so confused, as if she wasn't quite sure what had just transpired. "Katya?" Laura said again.

The young woman swallowed hard and cringed as if it hurt to do so. She nodded after a moment.

"I'm okay," She said in a far away voice, her eyes still unfocused. "Just, please make them stop yelling."

The heat between the three men was escalating. Saul understood that the boys had been concerned about Katya. He didn't like what went on either but his daughter wasn't some delicate flower. She'd been through worse and had inflicted worse on others. He couldn't understand the level at which they'd reacted. He couldn't understand why they were so ready to put their hands on the confused and frantic man. Bill had grabbed him when he'd first woken but the thought of hurting him never crossed Saul's mind. They had both completely overreacted as far as he was concerned, especially Alexi.

"It's not fair," Blaze announced loudly. "That man had his hands on the Sergeant's wife and he's in trouble? He could have pulled her right into that slop!"

"You want to join him outside, L.T !?"

"All of you!" Bill's voice thundered breaking the tension. "Stand down and back off!"

"Alexi," Laura's voice cut in. "Why don't you go? Just to make things a bit easier? We'll make sure she's alright."

"She's right, Sergeant," Bill added. "Just go. Don't make this harder on her, on everyone. The Colonel gave you an order."

Alexi grunted. He looked as if he were about to protest again but then Katya's voice stopped him.

"Stoy, malysh," She told him. Her voice sounded somehow small and she didn't even attempt to look over at where he stood. "Just go."

He gritted his teeth and clenched his fists before giving in and deciding to listen to her.

"Stay with her, Blaze," He directed before turning on his heels and begrudgingly heading toward the curtain. "See a doctor, Yekaterina! Ya skoro vernus'!"

"Quit your godsdamn slavic babbling," Saul grumbled after him as he followed the angry young man through the curtain and out of the ward.

"Laura," Bill started, "Why don't we put her in that chair?" He suggested nodding toward the specialist's abandoned seat. "You ladies are sitting in a puddle."

Laura gave Bill a short nod. He gestured for Blaze to assist and the two men freed Margot and helped walk Katya to the empty ward chair.

"You alright, Captain?" Bill asked the obviously shaken girl.

She nodded but wouldn't give him much more of an answer.

"Cap, you want something? Some water?" Blaze asked. "How's the arm? Guy's got a wild grip," He tried to joke but Katya wasn't laughing.

"No. I'm fine."

"Okay, Koshka."

Blaze shrugged at Margot. She shook her head and rubbed her hands over her face. Glancing toward Katya she gestured for him to join her out of ear shot, leaving their friend with her birth parents.

"What the fuck was that shit?" Margot whispered harshly.

"I don't know. Your dad's a nut case," Blaze spit.

"You think she's alright?"

Blaze shrugged and looked back at Katya who had a concerned Laura kneeling by her side.

"Yeah…yeah she's okay."

"The side of that tub was pressing into her pretty hard. I tried to get my hand in between but I don't think it made a difference," Margot said opening and closing her fists. "Think it could have done some damage?"

Blaze sighed in consideration.

"No. No, she's fine. If she wasn't she would have let one of us know somehow."

"Still, she should probably get an exam," Margot decided. "Sydra can do it. We can trust her."

Blaze nodded in agreement.

"I really thought Lex was gunna deck that guy and I'm sorry Margot but I was about join him. I was this close to shoving that ball of yours right up his ass."

"It's okay. So was I. What I don't get is why Katya didn't do it herself. She had a free hand."

"Yeah she looked, I dunno…out of it. Still does. The Colonel is fucking pissed. You'd think he'd be more concerned about his own kid. Ellen too."

"They don't know Blaze," Margot defended. "They aren't on the same kind of high alert as us. Think about it; we never would have freaked like that if she…"

"Yeah, well maybe," Blaze cut her off. "But that man is deranged. On the other hand," He said turning his head toward where his parents stood still knelt by D'Anna, "this one seems relatively mute."

As Margot looked in her birth mother's direction she felt her stomach flip. She'd hardly had a chance to process the fact that she was awake with all of the other chaos. The woman lay in the tub taking deep and somewhat harsh breaths but she seemed placid and unafraid. Margot looked across the room to find her mother talking to Sydra by one of the counters. She'd yet to say a thing to her. She wondered if she even would.

"You alright, Margot?" Blaze asked. "You're not gunna barf are you?" He cringed, worried that her adrenaline was wearing off and her hangover settling back in.

She shook her head and he nodded sympathetically. He knew enough about what she was feeling to understand that she needed a moment. He left her to stare at the woman in the tub and returned to Katya.

Bill stood close by as Laura knelt down by their daughter's chair. She'd been doing her best to get the girl to speak more than a few words but she wasn't having much luck.

"Katya," Laura whispered. "Do you need to see a doctor? If you do we'll go now. Ellen's distracted, Saul's left. Just a quick check up? There are medics at the desk."

Katya shook her head. She was fine. Margot had helped to alleviate some of the pressure from the edge of the tub from digging in. Thankfully she felt no lingering pain or discomfort resulting from it. Her arm would bruise from the man's grip and maybe her ribs from where they'd hit the tub when he'd first pulled her but they were her only injuries. She could deal with a couple of black and blues. At the moment they were the least of her concern.

"Why would he call me that?" Katya asked breathily, still staring into nothing.

"Oh, sweetheart, he's just confused," Laura assured, placing a comforting hand on Katya's dry arm. "He's scared. Sam didn't know what he was doing. You were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Are you sure you're okay?"

Katya swallowed again and nodded.

"I just…I don't want to be around him right now."

She wanted to leave. She wanted to get as far away from Samuel T. Anders as she could. She wanted the cylon fluid from his tub off of her. It was seeping through her tunic and making her skin tingle.

"Alright, how bout I take you back to your cabin?" Laura offered. "I don't think they need you here any longer. You could get washed up, put some ice on your arm."

Katya nodded at first. She was willing to go with Laura if it meant getting the hell out of the ward and into the shower. Then she remembered Ellen. She shook the fog from her head and looked over Laura's shoulder to see her still in tears by Sam's semi-conscious form.

"No, wait. I can't," She decided. "I don't want to leave Ellen," She said loud enough for her to hear.

"It's okay, kitten. You go. I'm sorry I can't go with you. I just can't leave him right now. You go, baby," She assured Katya through her subsiding tears.

Katya didn't want to leave her. She looked so distraught but there was little she could do for her. Ellen wouldn't leave the man's side and Katya wouldn't go anywhere near him.

"Go, kit," Ellen repeated. "I'll call you soon, honey. I'm so sorry. I am. I'm so, so sorry."

Katya nodded and looked down to her lap.

"Ready?" Laura asked.

"She's so upset," Katya whispered.

"I'll stay with her, Captain. Don't you worry," Bill assured her. "Lt. Bishop, would you escort Ms. Roslin and the Captain back to visitor's quarters?"

"Yes, Sir."

"C'mon," Laura said giving Katya her hand. "It's okay."

Katya took it and slowly stood up beside her.

Laura wanted to put her arm around her, just for a little support but Katya's body was rigid. She'd taken her hand but she could tell that she wasn't ready for much more. When Blaze scooped in and did it instead Laura took her place beside them. They walked slowly toward the curtain until Katya stopped by Margot who stood staring at D'Anna's tub.

"It's okay, Margot," She said before leaning off of Blaze to hug the girl.

Katya leaned up on her toes and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before taking Blazer's hand again and following Laura out of the partition.

Margot nodded after them. She watched Katya leaving with her birth mother and once they were gone she found herself looking back at the tub that still held her own. D'Anna was quiet as the Agathons sat close by. She didn't know what made her do it but suddenly she found herself walking slowly toward the tub. She took a few steps and then a few more until she was at the foot of the cylon vat.

"Margot," Sharon said as the girl stood there mouth agape, "Maybe you should sit back down. Now probably isn't the best time."

Sharon figured that there wouldn't be much of an explanation needed once D'Anna saw the girl. The resemblance was too uncanny. She thought that it would be best to hold off for now until D'Anna had some time to get over the immediate trauma of resurrection.

Margot nodded at Sharon. She didn't even know why she'd walked over. Sharon was right. She should go. She decided to go back to watching from afar but before she could turn around she noticed D'Anna's hand slowly reaching up from the slimy depths of the fluid. Her coated fingers slipped as they tugged at the oxygen mask that covered her nose and mouth. Just as Sharon was about to reach to stop D'Anna from pulling it off she managed to push it down enough to free her lips. With a few little coughs she opened her eyes and looked down to the end of the tub where Margot stood. She locked eyes with the girl and her mouth slowly curled into a smile.

"You," D'Anna said in a low and raspy voice. "I've been waiting ages to meet you."


Sector Language Translations

E-Fed

Myshka: Little Mouse

Nyet: No

Malysh: Babe/baby

Prikosnis' ko mne: Touch me.

Ti Ochen' nuzhnA mne: I need you so much.

Ti takAya nEzhnaya: You are so soft

Ti nuzhnA mne vsyO bOl'she i bOl'she: I need you more and more.

Ne magU zhIt' bez tebyA: I cant live with out you.

Stoy/ Ostanoivis: Stop/Halt/ Don't go.

Ya skoro vernus': I'll be right back.

E-REP

Nǐ hǎo? : Hello

 

Chapter 26: Chapter 26

Chapter Text

LOCATION: DELTA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 114B: ASSIGNMENT; ANDERS

YEAR: 2315

"Sam, please stop pacing," Ellen pleaded from where she sat on his sofa with her head in her hands. "You're driving me crazy."

"I'm driving you crazy, Ellen?" He turned around to point at her accusingly and gave a bitter laugh.

"You're doing this to yourself," She spit back.

Sam's behavior in the ten days since his resurrection hadn't improved much from the near crazed episode he'd first experienced in his download tub. While he was far more coherent his conduct had been erratic and confrontational.

"I'm doing it to myself? That's a good one. What else ya' got, Ellen? Keep em' coming."

Ellen closed her eyes and rubbed at her temples trying like hell to keep her patience with him. She'd been spending every moment that she could spare with Sam lately just trying to get through to him, to calm him, to fix whatever it was that was making him behave as if there was a constant fire lit under his ass. She'd gone home to Alpha for a few hours at a time here and there over the last week but the bulk of her time was being spent on Delta Station acting as Sam's babysitter. Saul had lost his patience days ago. Helo and Athena had a welcome excuse to leave when they needed to report to duty on Beta. Bill tried his hand for a while but even he couldn't get the man to settle for more than a short conversation. It all fell on Ellen.

They were all frustrated over the disappointment of the anticlimactic last download. Both D'Anna and Anders had woken in quite curious states but nothing else of any note had occurred from getting all of the resurrected leaders together. No notions of grand revelations came to any of them. No one felt any different. Nothing of any significance happened. There was nothing to report to the EOC and nothing for the government to report to the people. There was a looming sense of failure hanging over everyone's heads. All that was keeping them from rushing to conclusions was the fear of snuffing out the last bits of hope they clung to. Inwardly they were all fearful that Caprica and Baltar were the missing pieces that would never be filled and that perhaps D'Anna hadn't quite worked as a suitable replacement for Starbuck.

Saul and Margot had deleted the resurrection process from Ellen's memory just days after the last download as promised. It was gone. Margot went to the basestar as Ellen requested and made sure that any remnant data was purged from Lucy the hybrid's memory. If resurrection; cylon, human or otherwise was needed again then whoever desired it would have to look elsewhere. The Tighs were through with it. They had six out of the eight original leaders to work with and they had to hope that it would turn out to be enough. They were now in a stage of waiting.

"I need you to stop assaulting your guards," Ellen told Sam in a dull voice that demonstrated just how many times she'd had to repeat herself over the last week and a half.

"I need you to stop treating me like a feral child," He countered.

"Then stop acting like one, Sam! For frak sake they're going to put you in the brig if you keep this up!"

"Great people," He said caustically. "They use you to bring me back from the frakking dead and now they're going to thank me for making the cross-dimensional trip by locking me up behind bars? That's a race worth saving," He ended his rant with just as much sarcasm as it started.

"Yes! They certainly will lock you up if you keep proving that you're a danger to others and to yourself, I might add."

He'd already gotten two black eyes and had his lip busted open in the short time that he'd been conscious aboard Delta Station. Saul decided that the next step would be to convince Delta's commander to allow all centurion security for Sam Anders.

"Get me off this frakking station, Ellen. I don't want to be here!"

"I can't. Not yet! Though, if you keep pissing off Cmdr. Thibodaux you might get your wish. He's threatening to have you transferred to Gamma but that won't get you what you want."

Sam stopped his pacing and put his hands on his hips to face the frustrated woman. His face grew serious and his eyes held intent.

"When can I see her?"

"Gods," Ellen palmed her head. "Not this again."

"If you think I'm going to quit asking then you're as crazy as you seem to think I am," He challenged.

"Sam, I don't know how many times I have to tell you this. Katya is very busy. She has her own responsibilities on Alpha Station and I'm sorry, but she just doesn't want to see you."

"Let me apologize to her," He requested for not the first or even the fifteenth time.

Ellen had lost track of just how many times he'd asked.

"I know that you're sorry for how rough you were with her. I've passed that along just like you asked. I told you. She understands how scary the resurrection process can be. She watched Bill wake up just as confused and upset as you were. If it makes you feel any better she accepts your apology but she doesn't want to see you and I won't force her."

Ellen wouldn't dare. The first time that she and Saul had even brought it up in passing Katya went crazy. She refused to even consider being in the same room with Sam again. They knew that the experience must have been jarring for her but they honestly couldn't understand the intensity of how upset she seemed to become at the mere suggestion. Something about the event had Katya shaken and unnerved in a way Saul and Ellen had never seen their daughter. Alexi had followed her refusal with his own fit. He didn't want Katya anywhere near Samuel T. Anders and he'd warned them both against bringing it up to her again.

"She's your daughter, right?" Sam asked rhetorically. "You raised her. You can convince her. Saul can. He can order her."

"Saul will not order her to do something there is no reason for. And if you think that either one of us could actually convince her then you are sadly mistaken. She happens to be an infuriatingly stubborn young woman."

Sam laughed and shook his head, suddenly thoroughly amused.

"Of course," He chuckled as if it made some sort of strange sense to him. "She's stubborn. Of course she is."

As he smiled to himself Ellen looked at him as if he had sprouted three extra heads.

"I have to say, Sam, this interest you have in her is starting to concern me and Saul. You have to understand how strange it's coming off."

It was becoming quite alarming. They'd thought that it would fade after his initial confusion was gone but it was still persistent. Sam was asking anyone and everyone about Katya; if they knew who she was, what she was like. It was bizarre.

"I can't explain it, Ellen. I just want to see her once. Ten minutes is all I'm asking. If she won't come here let me go to her."

Ellen looked down at her knees and gripped the edge of the sofa cushions until her knuckles turned white.

"Sam...I want you to consider seeing a doctor."

"No thanks. I've already had the pleasure of being carted down to the infirmary a few times," He chided, referring to his many scuffles. "I'm fine."

He cracked his bruised knuckled one by one for effect causing Ellen to wince and look away.

"I'm not talking about that kind of a doctor," She admitted.

She braced for his reaction before peeking upward to see the look on his face.

"You want me to see a shrink?!"

"A neurologist," She clarified. "I want to do a brain scan. Just as a precaution," She said looking directly into his eyes. She had to be firm with him. She'd tried being his loving and compassionate protector for the first week. It hadn't gotten her anywhere. "You have to admit that you're acting out of character and that your behavior has been odd to say the least."

"And just how should I behave!? Huh, Ellen!? You tell me! How should someone behave who's been woken from a 200,000 year long death? Like frakkin' D'Anna!? If anyone's sick it's her! Is no one concerned about how she just woke up as if she'd come for a scheduled weekend visit? She obviously knew about that…that...that…girl," He said as if it left a bad taste in his mouth. "Concern yourself with what the hell else she knows. She probably has all your frakkin answers!"

Ellen cringed and thumbed a bit of Sam's spittle from her cheek.

He was right about the high strangeness of D'Anna's download. The both of them had resurrected in far more complex states than Bill, Laura or the Agathons had. While Sam woke wild and confused, D'Anna woke calmly; almost as if she'd been expecting the event and she'd recognized their daughter in an instant.

"I've spoken to D'Anna, Sam. I'll admit that it's strange that she seemed to expect her resurrection and how she somehow woke knowing about her daughter. You told us yourself that you just knew that Kara was with you on the other side and that somehow you lost her. That's just as strange. You haven't been able to explain yourself much more than that. It's been sort of a trend. It seems like the more time passes the less you all can remember the details of where you came from. D'Anna says she can't explain it either."

"Bull," Sam accused, resuming his mad pacing.

"I don't have any reason not to believe her. What could she possibly gain by lying or by keeping things from us? And by the way, Sam, that girl, your daughter, has a name. Her name is Margot for the tenth time. And I happen to care a great deal about her so I'd appreciate if you'd stop talking about her with such disdain in your voice."

Sam stopped his trudging and whipped around to face her again.

"I don't want to talk about her at all! She's not my daughter, Ellen. I have no children. That twenty-one year old woman is certainly not my kid. These sick selfish people might have used my unconscious body to make her but she's not mine and I'd appreciate it if you'd quit trying to tell me otherwise."

"Sam," Ellen started but he cut her off.

"No, Ellen. You care for her all you want. I bet that's made you pretty happy, huh? You and Saul?" He needled, pulling from ages old conversations held during late nights at the office or in their lab. "You two, you collected all of our lab-grown bastard children and you've been playing house with them for years. Well I hope you've been enjoying your frakked up version of motherhood, Ellen. I just don't want a damn thing to do with it."

Ellen shot up off of the couch in a flash slapped her open fist across his cheek.

Sam flinched and when he opened his eyes Ellen had her finger stuck right in his face.

She was enraged. Her eyes wild with anger. If she didn't need him so much she knew that her hands would be around his throat.

"Frak you, Sam! Frak you!" She nearly screeched. "I love those kids. And they weren't lab-grown! They were born! Every one of them! They're people with souls and feelings, one of them who you're hurting very deeply with your blatant and disgusting dismissal," She seethed before hot angry tears started to leak from the corners of her eyes. He was being intentionally cruel and infuriating. He still knew her well enough to understand just what would send her off the edge. She just couldn't fathom why he was doing it. She couldn't understand his anger. "Sam what the frak is wrong with you? This isn't you. What's happening? I want to help."

"You just want to help so that I'll help you and your frakking cause."

"Yes! Yes!" She said throwing her arms up in the air and letting them fall in utter frustration, "We need your help! I've been honest about that from the start but I want to help you because I love you. I care about you. Don't ignore that, Sam. After everything we've been through don't spit on that. You know that I care."

Sam shook his head and looked at the floor. She was relieved when she saw something like remorse flash in his eyes when he looked back up at her.

"Just…let me see her once."

Ellen's lips parted and her eyes welled again as she shook her head at a total loss.

LOCATION: DELTA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR C

MILITARY RECREATION

GYMNASIUM

WOMEN'S LOCKERS

YEAR: 2315

Margot was freshly dressed in a clean pair of station tanks and baggy gym shorts. Her hair was still wet from the showers and she should have been feeling renewed and invigorated as she usually did after her post workout shower. Instead she just felt damp and lousy. She sat with her legs straddling a bench and was repeatedly bouncing her pyramid ball against the hard plastic of the rattling lockers. It hadn't wound up to be the gift that she'd intended and now the only enjoyment anyone was getting out of it was the strange satisfaction she felt when chucking it against a solid surface. She should have left already. Her workout was over, she was clean and dressed but she'd started bouncing the damn ball and she couldn't make herself stop. A few other women had complained about the annoyance of the noise and she'd chased them out of the locker room with a couple of threats that she had every intention on seeing through if they gave her enough of a reason. She felt badly about it after. It was out of character for her but she just hadn't been herself lately.

"Fancy a game?" A voice echoed behind her.

The voice gave Margot an icy chill up her spine and made the fine hairs on the back of her neck stand up on end. She paused for a split seconds before turning to see D'Anna watching her standing in nothing but a Delta purple rec-room towel.

She swallowed hard before saying anything in return.

"Where's your security?" Margot asked blankly.

"Now that's not a very nice way to greet your old' mum, now is it?" D'Anna smirked.

Margot gave the other woman a look of near disgust before rolling her eyes and turning to bounce her ball again, this time harder than before.

"You should have an escort," Margot said as she pelted the ball at a locker and caught it again.

"They're right outside."

D'Anna took a few careful steps forward before Margot spoke over her shoulder again.

"What are you doing here anyway? Following me?" The girl accused.

D'Anna had made several attempts to talk to Margot within the last few days. They'd really only had one encounter of any length when Ellen was there to tell D'Anna what she apparently already knew. The cylon woman couldn't explain how she'd known about her daughter but Karl and Sharon had vouched for the fact that the look of recognition on her face was genuine. They had to believe her. Ellen had given D'Anna the full explanation of who Margot was and how she was conceived and born. To Margot's amazement and revulsion, D'Anna seemed almost amused by the entire tale. She'd accepted the fact that Margot was her daughter without batting an eyelash and her quiet eagerness that followed had made the girl even more uneasy. She had one parent who was eerily interested in her and another who had gone from irate at her existence to totally dismissive. Somehow she felt the two almost canceled one another out.

Ellen had tried to comfort Margot. She was spread pretty thin between checking in on D'Anna, dealing with the mess that was Sam Anders and trying to give some measure of her time to her family back on Alpha. Still, she'd tried to be there for the girl.

Katya and Alexi had left in the early hours of the morning after the download. Margot didn't blame them. Katya was shaken and at that point Sam's only words were still pleas to see her or whoever he thought she was at the time. The couple gave Margot their apology and then fled back to their home. Soon Blaze and Sydra left to report back to duty on Alpha too and Margot was left alone. Her mother hadn't said much about the entire event. She was worried about the mental state of Sam Anders. They'd spoken about that at least but when Margot brought up his reaction to her existence Michelle had just snidely chuckled under her breath and said something along the lines of 'what did you expect'. She then followed it up with an 'I told you so'. The rest of Margot's personal leave had been lonely and miserable. She couldn't wait to get back to work. She had a new goal in mind. She would put in a transfer request to be reassigned to Alpha Station as soon as she was back on duty. With Blazer's birthday celebration coming up she would have the perfect opportunity to talk to Kaplan first hand too. She had no reason to want to stay on Delta anymore. She could visit her mother occasionally and see her just as much as she did living on the same station. She wanted to be close to Sydra and begin to work on starting some kind of a life with her. She wanted to be near Katya and Alexi too. They would need her help soon and she didn't want to have to jump between stations and live out half of her life on shuttles. Most of all she didn't want to be anywhere near her birthparents. Alpha seemed liked heaven in comparison to what Delta had become for her.

"I was told that I could use the facilities," D'Anna coolly defended. "This body has been in a tank for the last thirty-some years. I'd like to think I'm allowed to work my muscles a bit."

"You have your own cabin with your own shower," Margot said between bounces.

She knew it was stupid to insinuate that the woman should walk through two corridors dirty and sweating just to shower in her own quarters. She just didn't want to be around her.

"I make you uncomfortable," D'Anna stated plainly.

"Gee, how'd you guess?"

D'Anna rolled her eyes and shrugged as she took a seat on the opposite end of the bench.

When Margot turned to see the woman had sat nearby she swung her legs over to one side. She didn't like having her back to her. She proceeded to bounce the ball off of the bulkhead instead. The metal made an even more satisfying sound and she found herself increasing the force with which she threw it, enjoying the sting when it ricocheted harshly back into her palms.

"I guess he wasn't what you expected," D'Anna hinted, gesturing to the ball.

D'Anna had witnessed Sam's behavior. She'd seen several of his outbursts, some which came after he'd learned of their daughter.

"Don't flatter yourself," Margot said as she clutched the ball in her hands and stood up. "I think you're both freaks."

"That may be but don't you care to talk to me just a bit?" D'Anna cocked her head to the side.

Margot couldn't stand the tiny look of mirth that the woman always seemed to casually wear on her lips.

"Not anymore."

"Why not?"

"Because," Margot said, harshly palming the ball. "You give me the creeps!"

D'Anna hardly looked phased by the insult.

"Well, I want to talk to you," She shrugged, "Your would-be father surely doesn't want to give you the time of day. That so-called adoptive mother of yours doesn't seem to have much more interest either. Why not give me a shot?"

"Don't talk about my mother, okay? She loves me. You don't know her. You don't know anything about how she feels about me."

"Why don't you tell me? I'm a good listener."

The Three seemed almost amused at their banter.

"You're insane," Margot accused.

At this D'Anna truly smiled.

"You know they used to say; to know the face of God is to know madness. Maybe you're right to call me crazy."

"Oh, and you've seen God?"

Margot hardly knew the concept of a deity. To hear anyone claim such a thing just didn't register with her.

"I've seen more than you could ever even dream about."

"See? Nuts!"

D'Anna's smile turned to a simper. She glanced down to floor before looking back up at Margot.

"What can I do to convince you to give me a bit of a chance?"

Margot was about to walk away but in a sudden rage she found herself shouting at the woman.

"Tell me how you knew who I was!"

D'Anna appeared serene in the face of the young woman's ire.

"Well..." She implied, gesturing at their obvious resemblance.

"Don't give me that!" Margot shot. "Besides that. When you woke up you said that you'd been waiting a long time to meet me. I remember. Minutes after your resurrection you looked at me like you knew me and you said that. What's that mean?"

"I don't know."

"Fine. Leave me alone then."

"I can't tell you what I don't know, Margot."

"Don't say my name."

"I can't tell you what I don't know, Specialist," D'Anna briskly and cordially corrected. "When I woke I just knew as soon as I saw you that I'd been waiting for a very long time to finally meet you."

"How? The Agathons, Roslin, Adama, they didn't know about their kids. When they woke up they had no idea. If the Tighs hadn't told them they'd still think Blaze and Katya were just some unrelated strangers. Why did you know about me?"

"I wish I could tell you. I don't remember. I just know that…I knew."

Margot narrowed her eyes with suspicion and looked D'anna up and down from her sandy blonde hair to her bare toes.

"I should tell my mother to medicate you."

"Would she take your call?" D'Anna poked.

"Screw off," Margot spit back.

"Seems to me that you could have left at any time after I showed up here. I'm not keeping you, Specialist. I'd like you to stay but I'm not making you."

"This is my station, this is my locker room!" Margot could here that her shouting sounded juvenile and she almost blushed. She'd seen Katya throw one too many tantrums. After all this time her mother's words had come true; the Tigh's kid had been a bad influence after all. "This is my home!"

"And you're my daughter." D'Anna answered without missing a beat.

Margot felt her anger surge again.

"How'd you know that you were going to be resurrected!?"

"I don't know that either."

"Crap! Total Crap!"

"It's not. It's the truth and I'll swear to it. I know one thing. I'm here to help. I have no one here that gives a damn about me but I'm willing to do whatever I can to help nonetheless. I don't know why. I just am. Why don't you help me to do that…Specialist?

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR C

COMMAND CONTROL CENTER/ C³

TACTICAL STATION

YEAR: 2315

It was the first shift that all three of them had ever worked together. Kaplan had asked Katya to come in and go over one of her new tactical plans. Saul was there to review. It just happened to overlap with one of Bill's newly appointed shifts in the control center.

In spite of how strange and almost forced the situation was, Kaplan was doing his best to include the Admiral within Orbit Patrol and treat him with respect. He firmly believed that Adama had to have valuable insight and knowledge that the rest of them just didn't have. He'd experienced a similar war before and commanded an ever moving fleet through it all. Despite the close planetary approximation and their stationary status Kaplan believed that Adama's input would help. Though Orbit Patrol let Bill keep his title out of respect for his former service, his position was largely advisory. He had some seniority over junior officers and was expected to be treated with respect but he had little authority and he didn't expect any. He'd thrown himself into studying protocol and procedure as much as he could. He surprised everyone with how quickly he picked things up and Kaplan had even let him take control of the floor a few times as long as his Second or Saul was around to supervise. Kaplan told Bill that soon he thought he might even be able to take a shift on his own. He was in his element again and he was grateful. He knew that they could have easily put him in the sort of positions Helo and Athena had taken on. Karl was training as an LSO on Beta and Sharon was being trained on military flight scheduling, taking over Blazer's temporary spot that was left open when he'd returned home to Alpha. Bill wouldn't have been as glad to do either job but he thought that he still would have accepted it. He knew that they could have and probably should have denied their request to enlist all together. He was sure that Saul had strong armed quite a few people into it and even so he was glad to be back in uniform and serve beside others who wore it too.

"Like old times in the CIC, eh, Old Man?" Saul said across the tactical station.

"Yeah. It sure is," Bill agreed with a small smile.

Katya scowled at the both of them.

"Excuse me, Sirs? If you two are done reminiscing?" She asked, obviously annoyed.

They'd interrupted an analysis she was giving of new station air space protocol.

Both men smirked at each other but Kaplan gave her the go-ahead.

"Go on, Captain Isakoff."

Katya cleared her throat with some exaggerated emphasis and looked back down at the table's projection of the Alpha Quadrant. Projected above the brightly lit surface was a full three dimensional rendering of the station, its quadrant's pods and the quarter of the planet they orbited. It hovered over the table as a perfect glowing miniature of their surroundings.

"Along with increasing the number of falcons doing standard ellipses around each station we are also going to increase the number of stationary hawks on all sides of the station. Pending approval of course," She said eying her uncle. "I feel that the amount of patrol craft in civilian airspace should be doubled at the very least. I never realized how lax that side of the station really was. I also suggest we shut down all civilian ports for now," She explained as she swiped a few ships onto the military side of the station rendering. "Traffic can come in through the military decks. We can handle it for now until we can reopen the civilian ports with military crews. I'm not sure how other stations will feel about this but I urge you to implement it here on Alpha at least…" Katya's voice trailed off and she seemed to suddenly be looking past the digital model that floated over the table.

She was overcome with the strangest feeling and it had caught her totally off guard. Her hands went to the side of the table and with her last semblance of wherewithal she gripped it as hard as she could. Her eyes went to Saul and she could see that he wasn't in much better shape than she was.

"Captain?" She heard Bill's voice call but she couldn't get her eyes to focus on him and now there were two Uncle Sauls, then four and now they were starting to rotate.

"Captain Isakoff," Kaplan said a little firmer and louder.

She couldn't make herself answer either of them and now the room was spinning. Slowly and as carefully as she could manage she allowed her knees to bend and with the support of the tactical station's table she sunk to the floor. When she felt her knees hit the hard surface she heard Bill shouting again but this time it wasn't for her.

"Saul?! Saul!" Bill called.

She couldn't be sure but she thought that she heard people rushing over and laying her uncle on the floor on the other side of the table.

"Damn it!" Kaplan barked.

"We've got company!" An officer called from the helm as an alert chimed from the system surveillance.

"Figures!" Bill shouted from where he knelt by a collapsed Tigh. "He's totally out of it. It's happening again."

Kaplan had sunk down by Katya as soon as she hit the floor. She was on her hands and knees now and struggling to even stay steady in that position. The commander was almost sure of what was happening to her. Had Tigh not been there he would have assumed that she was sick but it lined up too perfectly. There was about to be a breach and Katya was feeling it this time.

Kaplan kept a supportive hand to his captain's back. Though the signal effects were relatively harmless once gone, he knew that he needed to be extra cautious with her.

"Get a medic in here!" He ordered and gestured for another officer to sit with her.

When the officer swooped in to take his place he quickly stood up.

"What do you see, Officer?!" Kaplan asked as he stormed toward the console.

"Looks like a fleet of Airbots coming in. Should breach the outer limits of the line in about three minutes," The helm officer stated.

"How many?"

"I can't say. They're flying tight. Could be twenty-five could be fifty."

"All squads out now!" Kaplan ordered.

"Yes, Sir," The officer replied.

In less than a moment the station com was buzzing and the alert lights were flashing.

ACTION STATIONS. ACTION STATIONS.

ALPHA SET CONDITION ONE

ALL UNITS AND ALL SQUADRONS REPORT

REPEAT ALL UNITS AND ALL SQUADRONS REPORT

"Saul!" Bill shouted. "Saul, listen to me. I know you can hear me. I'm not going far. You hang tight. Something's up with Katya. I just…I'm gunna go check on her for you," He said knowing that's what Saul would want him to do.

"I'll stay with him, Sir," A young officer said as she scooted down by Tigh's side.

Bill gave a quick nod of thanks and then rushed over to his daughter's side. She was still on her hands and knees though she hardly looked steady in that position.

"Katya? Katya, what's happening?" Bill asked.

"She said she's dizzy," Her attending officer answered. "I tried to get her to put her head between her knees but she couldn't seem to manage."

Bill put a hand on her shoulder afraid that she was about to sway and lose her balance even on all fours.

"Katya talk to me. What's happening?"

She winced at his words.

"I dunno. It won't stop. Everything's…swirling."

Katya's heart was in her throat but she didn't know where the hell her mind was. It was just like her dream only she wasn't in her bird. The entire world was spinning around her at a rapid pace and she couldn't slow it down no matter how hard she tried to concentrate. Even closing her eyes didn't help much. She could still feel the lurching of her disturbed equilibrium.

"Katya, is this…Are you feeling it?" Bill cringed, afraid that he already knew the answer.

Before she could nod she felt her body inadvertently heave and she lost the contents of her stomach all over the control room floor.

"Sorry," She weakly muttered before finally lowering her body all the way down to rest her face against the cool surface.

"Don't worry about that, Captain," Bill grimaced. The entire room was buzzing with the sound of the alarms. Kaplan was shouting order after order and all Bill could do was look between Saul and Katya and hope that one of them would recover soon. "It's going to pass, Captain. You just try and keep calm," He said as he reached out and squeezed her hand.

Her eyes were cinched shut and she was now curled up as she could make herself.

"Can we get that medic team in here!?" He shouted.

"Uncle Saul," Katya slurred.

"He's alright, Captain. Don't worry about him. He just has to let it pass. He'll be okay."

"Lex...Ell…" She attempted but couldn't speak when she started to gag against the words.

She turned and dry heaved a few times. Whatever she'd had in her stomach was already gone.

"Quit talking, Katya," Bill told her. "I'll find out where they are in just a moment."

He'd have to find out where both boys were, as well as the Agathons, Ellen and now Sam and D'Anna. He hoped they'd all been someplace safe when it hit this time. After a few minutes the commander's voice thundered through the control center again.

"Have a fleet of shuttle-hawks barricade each end of the station by the decks!" Kaplan barked. He looked around to see his captain still suffering on the floor by a puddle of vomit and his colonel still totally catatonic. "Where the hell is that medic team!?" As soon as he said it a small squad of two marines entered. He grimaced when he didn't see a transpo-gurney with them. "What is it, Corporals?"

"Sir, we're here for Admiral Adama, Sir, if you can spare him. Ms. Roslin's been rushed to Med Ward," The first marine answered.

Bill's head shot up at Laura's name and his heart sunk when he finally registered what they'd said.

Kaplan shook his head. In any other circumstance he would have made his officer stay but this was Laura Roslin, one of their saviors. They needed to know that she was okay. Anyone else that could have sought to the woman's well being would be totally indisposed for the next short while. He looked over at Bill who seemed to be thinking the same thing; if Katya was feeling the effects of the signal her mother was too.

"You're excused, Admiral," Kaplan said before giving his attentions back to the helm.

Bill looked over at Saul and then down at his distraught daughter. For a moment he found himself in a mild panic.

"Admiral, go!" Katya shouted knocking Bill out of his stupor.

"Katya, medics are coming soon. You're alright. You and Saul will be okay. It'll pass," He rambled trying to make himself feel better about leaving them both.

"Go!" She yelled again. "Now!"

He quickly got to his feet and followed the two marines out of the hatch to Med Ward.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR C

MED WARD

YEAR: 2315

"You sure you're good, Koshka?" Blaze asked as he played with a few instruments on a nearby surgical cart.

"Quit touching that crap with your nasty hands," Katya scolded him like he was a child from where she sat perched on the side of a ward bed. "That stuff is sterile."

"Sorry," He frowned and dropped a pair of scissors, cringing when they clattered against the tray. "So, are you positive you're okay?"

Katya's dizziness was gone. Her vision was steady and her nausea had eased. All traces of the episode had vanished rather quickly before she'd ever made it to the ward. Her only discomfort was a deep gnawing ache low in her back that seemed to come and go. She was almost sure it was from her embarrassing retching. She knew enough about muscle pulls from years of ballet to be almost certain it was nothing alarming. She could deal with it. If she shared it with anyone the problem would just be blown out of proportion and she would be spending more time in the ward.

"Yes. I'm sure. Are you?"

"Yeah. I'm fine," Balze assured her. "I promise that Lex is fine too. I saw him, spoke to him. It was intense this time, Koshka. I won't lie. Going totally catatonic, not having any control over my body, the spinning," He shook his head. "It was like…like a nightmare."

Katya grimaced at the reference and he looked a bit apologetic once he realized his misstep.

"I'm so sorry, Blaze."

"So am I, Kat. This shit is getting stronger. It sounds like you felt it at the level that me and Lex experienced before. Now he and I are getting the same effects as full cylon."

Katya inhaled deep and let out a shaky sigh.

"This is so messed up."

"Tell me about it."

Blaze had been working on the patrol schedule at the time of his episode. He was fortunate to have been at a desk when it hit. At first he'd felt the tell tale sensation that had come to him the times before but soon he realized that this time would be different. When he attempted to call for assistance on his cuff he found that he was having trouble speaking. Alone in Luna's office and not knowing what else to do he slumped over in his seat and soon lost all ability to move. Though he felt as if he was in constant motion he sat there frozen listening to the blaring alarms until it passed.

"Your mother is lucky that she had her little guardian centurion. I'll tell you that much."

Blaze had gotten the scoop on Laura's episode on his way to check on Katya in the ward. It seemed that Vladi had some sense that something was about to go wrong even before the alarms went off. The marine stationed with him outside of the Roslin Adama cabin said that the machine suddenly went crazy trying to open the hatch. The corporal was afraid that the centurion had gone haywire. He'd called for backup, worried that Vladi was going break the door down but when the station alarms started to sound the marine opened the hatch himself knowing that they needed to get Roslin to her designated safe place. Vladi rushed in front of the man and charged right for the head like he was on a mission. They'd found Laura Roslin unconscious on the floor with the shower on. The room was full of steam and there was reportedly a fair amount of blood coming from a cut on her hairline.

"Did Vladi really carry her all the way here?" Katya asked.

"That's what I heard," Blaze shrugged. "Apparently he scooped her up, Corporal Kim threw a blanket on her and Vladi stormed in here like he was carrying a rag doll."

"Kim told you that?"

"Yup."

"Good Vladi," Katya smiled, pleased that her loyal friend had been such a help. "Is he still here?"

"Na. Kim's outside standing post. They sent Vladi off. I have to say, Kat, I'm really surprised that you and Roslin felt it. To be honest, if it hadn't happened to the both of you I would have had trouble believing it. I mean that sub-cylon blood, that transmutation or whatever it is you've got going on. I guess it just never crossed my mind that it could hit you too."

"Me either and I'm pretty sure Roslin wasn't expecting it."

Katya grimaced. A thought came to her. She wondered just how much cylon blood it really took to feel it. If she and Laura could feel it now then how long would it be until the general population with their trace cylon heritage would feel it too? The thought was chilling and she quickly pushed it to the back of her mind. She'd call Ellen about it later and then go to Kaplan.

"I'm told that Tigh is back on his feet like nothing happened," Blaze interrupted her thoughts.

She nodded.

"He was on his feet before the medics even arrived."

By the time the medics had finally shown in the control room Saul and Katya were both mostly back to normal. Saul was insistent that he was fine and refused to let the medics come near him. He jumped right into the mix and took his post during the rest of the attack. Other than being slightly embarrassed that she'd gotten sick on the control room floor Katya was on her feet as well. She went to Med Ward as a precaution. She knew that it would be foolish and selfish not to. Knowing Laura was there helped her decision, though she hated to admit it to herself. She would be that much closer to finding out if she was alright.

"Did you speak to Ellen?" Blaze asked with a yawn.

Katya now knew for herself just how quickly the symptoms of the signal effects faded but Blazer still seemed tired. She frowned wondering just how much the event had taken out of him. It made her want to see Alexi that much more and it made her wish Ellen would finally come home.

"Yeah. She says that she's fine now. I think that she actually considered the episode a break from that lunatic Anders." Though Katya said it with some dark humor the man's name was spoken through gritted teeth. "When I asked about Margot and creepy D'Anna she was really short with me."

Though Ellen was concerned she'd rushed off the line once she'd confirmed that her daughter was alright. It made Katya wonder just what she was dealing with over on Delta.

"I'm sure Margot is fine," Blaze surmised. "She's just in a rough spot right now."

Katya nodded as she tried to discreetly rub at the low ache in her back.

"What about Sharon?" She asked as a bit of a distraction.

"I spoke to Helo. He said that she's alright. She was at a training class and he wasn't there when it happened. I think he was upset about that but it's something they are going to have to deal with if they plan on continuing their service. They can't always be together."

"Laura was all alone," Katya mumbled, looking down at her lap.

"She's a few curtains down. I saw the Admiral step out to ask a medic a question when I came in. I'm not sure how she is. Things seemed calm behind the curtain. I doubt it's too serious."

"Kat," Tawny interrupted sticking her head through the curtain. "I'm sorry. I know you've been sitting here for a while. We have three pilots in critical."

Katya waved her off.

"I'm fine, Tawny just help them. I'm good. I can leave."

"No, no. I'm sending in a medic to give you a look," The doctor insisted.

"I don't need it."

"Peace of mind," Tawny shrugged, rushing off before Katya could protest again.

When she was gone Katya cringed at the thought of the injured pilots. She hated knowing that they were suffering nearby and that there was nothing she could do to help. While she was unable to fly her friends were getting shot out of the air left and right.

"So how many did we lose this time?"

"Well," Blaze started with a sigh, "the airways have been clear for a while now but I didn't get the final count yet. Two I know of here on Alpha. Li'l Bit and Harper."

"No…" Katya said in near disbelief, "Damn it."

"Gone." Blaze watched Katya's head fall toward her lap again. He put a comforting hand on her shoulder and gave it a few gentle squeezes. She'd always felt so small in his hands in contrast to her big attitude and even bigger mouth. "You sure you're alright, Kosh?"

"Yes," She insisted as she straightened her posture. "Stop. Please? You're making me feel like I'm…feeble."

"Okay," He nodded and put his hands to his hips. "I should go get back to my post."

"Blaze, just take the rest of the day off. They'll understand."

"Captain Isakoff," A medic in light blue scrubs called through the curtain before popping in. "Are you ready for me?" She asked.

"I don't really need an exam," Katya told the young woman.

"Dr. T just told me not to let you leave without at least doing a basic."

Katya huffed when she saw the look on Blazer's face.

"Fine. Make it fast."

"Alright. I'll be right in," The medic nodded and left the curtain.

"You be good, Koshka. Listen to what they tell you."

"I'm always good."

"Never," He chided.

"Sometimes," She musingly argued. "I listened to Lex and finally got a new uniform this week," She told him with some pride.

"Oh good. Now you can breathe again," He teased.

Katya took a full and exaggerated breath in and let it out for show. It was in jest but Blaze had no idea how good it felt to be actually able to do it.

He chuckled at her and shook his head as he looked her over.

"The Tighs really haven't noticed?"

Katya's smile faded a bit.

"Nope. Not yet."

"I mean, the Colonel, I get. He's half blind but Ellen."

"I'm just that stealth," She winked.

"Give me a break."

"I know," She relented letting her shoulders drop. "A stranger said something to me yesterday."

"No kidding?"

"A petty officer who works in the mess hall." With Ellen gone Saul and the kids had been frequenting the cafeteria most nights. Family dinners in-cabin just weren't the same without her there. "Won't matter in another week anyway. Just have to get passed it."

Blaze looked skeptical.

"Ellen notices everything. She's been away for most of the week but when she gets back…I'm sorry, Koshka, but there's no hiding... "

"I know, I know," She cut him off. He didn't have to say it. She was aware of just how much things had changed over the last handful of days, "Ellen's too involved with that psycho. Not that I'm complaining. I miss her but it's better that she's distracted, Saul too. I have no answers for them yet. They'd just be worried sick and upset."

"Like the rest of us."

"Blazer," She groaned.

"I mean it, Kat." I worry about you all the time. "Right now I'm leaving you in what seems like satisfactory condition. If anything's wrong and Lex thinks I left your side he'll kill me."

"He won't kill you this close to your birthday," She joked.

"Nice gift."

"Go, L.T. That's an order."

"10-4, Cap," He said as he leaned over to kiss her cheek.

Katya smiled at first but it faded when Blaze seemed to misjudge his target. His delicate kiss landed at the very corner of her mouth and she could swear that she felt him linger just a split second longer than usual. He bowed his head avoiding her eyes and gave her a pat on the knee.

"Hang in there, Cap," He said before turning to leave.

She couldn't respond. She'd known as soon as he'd pulled away that he'd done it at least in part on purpose. She felt anger, sadness and pity all at once overshadow the gratitude she'd just been feeling for him. She didn't know what the hell had possessed him. He hadn't come close to doing anything like that in years. In the last few weeks he had been a little more protective and worried over her. He hadn't returned to Beta Station at all. He'd been checking on her with regularity and sometimes even volunteering to sit up with her at night when she was scared and Alexi was just too tired. She'd chalked it up to him being a good and caring friend but now in the moment she couldn't deny that his concern was still coming from a much deeper place.

What he'd just done was innocent enough but she knew that he'd done it intentionally, if only to take a little bit of her away with him when he left. Her heart broke for him and in tandem she cursed him for hanging so wretchedly onto what should have been left in their childhood. She could still remember being fourteen and in his arms, far too young but far too naive to know it. He'd been her first real kiss, her first real everything, except for her first love. He'd never had her heart like Alexi did. No one could. She wished that she could go back and take it all away. If she'd never given into adolescent curiosity and his sweet nature things wouldn't be like this for him now. What she'd seen as a fun and playful good time he'd stewed and cooked into years of longing. Longing, not even from afar but from right by her side. He stood next to Alexi on their wedding day and smiled through it. He even made a toast that night. She'd seen the sadness in his eyes. She could do nothing but ignore it and pray that it would go away. When other's brought it up over the years it made Katya hate them for noticing. She loved Blaze so much but she could never love him the way he loved her. He knew it, had accepted it, even more so he would never want to hurt his brother and still he couldn't make what he felt for her disappear. She wished that someone would come along who could.

"Ready, Captain?"

Katya was more than grateful when the medic returned to interrupt her thoughts.

With a little more convincing the medic agreed to a less invasive exam. Katya's vitals were taken and recorded and a few other precautions were taken. She never mentioned the ache in her back but it had lessened and seemed to be fading away. Pleased with her condition the medic gave Katya the choice of returning to duty or taking the rest of the day to relax. She decided that she would return to her post but she had something that she wanted to do first.

Exiting the curtain she found the senior Dr. Xao about to enter one of the private rooms nearby.

"Xao!" Katya shouted out after him.

He stopped and turned from the door.

"Yekaterina, were you examined?"

"Yes. I just got dizzy. Nothing happened to me. I didn't even fall," She assured the old man who looked quite unconvinced. "Please, will you just tell me what curtain Roslin is in?"

He looked her up and down and frowned.

"Tonight when things calm I want you to come back here and let Tawny examine you."

Out of respect she fought rolling her eyes.

"Fine. Okay. Just tell me if Roslin's alright."

He pressed his lips together before turning to open the door.

"Curtain five," He muttered.

"Xiè xie," She said in her best E-Rep.

She and Tawny had spent hours of their childhood trying to teach one another their native sector languages. Neither was easy to learn but they used to have great fun listening to each other try. It always amused Xao to hear the girls and he smiled to himself over Katya's thanks as he slipped inside the room.

Katya scanned the ward looking for curtain five. They so often rotated the numbers and she never seemed to know where anything was. Part of it, she knew, was just that she fought so hard to block out her surroundings whenever she was there. Once she found it she made a beeline for the partition. As she came upon it she stopped abruptly as if it were a blockade instead of a thin sheet of fabric. She'd been so anxious to make sure that Laura Roslin was alright but now she couldn't seem to force herself inside. Katya reconsidered going in at all. Laura was in good hands with the Xaos and Blazer was right; she was probably fine.

Katya wanted to get back to the control room. There was nothing wrong with her at the moment and she had a feeling that Kaplan would want to implement her new protocol standards ASAP now that there had been another attack. She was about to turn and leave when she heard Laura let out a single sigh behind the curtain. Her heart tensed at the sound. She didn't know why but the woman's voice just gave her a weird feeling that she couldn't explain. It was smooth and almost liquid. She'd imagined her mother's voice as a child so many times but she was never quite sure of what she would sound like. It was one of the only things about Laura Roslin that hadn't disappointed her those few months ago. Though Katya didn't always like the words that were coming out of the woman's mouth she couldn't help that the sound of her voice gave her the same feeling that being wrapped in a warm blanket did. When she heard Laura's pitiful little sigh she just couldn't make herself leave.

"Laura?" Katya winced.

She said her name quickly like she was tearing off an adhesive bandage, as if she expected it to somehow hurt.

"Yes?"

"It's Katya…can I come in?"

"Oh," Laura sounded caught off guard and a bit surprised. "Yes."

Katya hesitated when she thought that the invitation sounded a little forced but she made herself push the curtains to the side in a swift jerk. She just wanted to get a look at her and then she would leave.

When Laura saw Katya enter she smiled in spite of all the aches and pains she had. She was so relieved to see her. Bill had filled her in on Katya's episode in the control room. She knew how he'd watched the girl suffering on the floor with chaos all around them. She was actually a little upset with him at first for leaving their daughter's side. It was a feeling that didn't last long once Bill informed her that it was Katya who had insisted he leave to check on her. She was so glad to see the captain looking well. Though Bill assured her that the girl was fine she'd been worried, wondering if he were withholding details because of her own injury. She was glad to see that he'd been telling the truth.

"How's the head?" Katya asked as she stood at the foot of the bed.

"It hurts," Laura smirked. The cut had been sealed with a closure gun and was covered by a small strip bandage that did little to hide the surrounding bruise that was forming at her hairline. "I guess I hit the bathroom sink. I did a number on my back too but it's not too bad now. Whatever they gave me for the pain is kicking in. What about you?"

"Unlike you I had a nice soft landing," Katya teased." I mean, I did throw up once I got down there but I feel way better now. I'm totally fine."

"I'm glad to hear it," Laura said with a soft chuckle. "I was worried."

Katya looked down toward the floor and cleared her throat. She seemed to become uncomfortable at the honesty of Laura's statement. She looked up again after a beat.

"I heard Vladi played white knight," Katya ribbed with an arch of her brow and an impish smile. "Not bad for a toaster, hm?"

"That's what they told me," Laura shrugged. "I'm afraid that I don't remember much before I got here."

It was mostly a lie. Though the events after she'd first become dizzy were quite hazy she did have the distinct memory of waking up for a few coherent moments in the chromed arms of the valiant centurion. She wasn't even sure if she'd passed out again because of her head injury or from realizing that she was being carried through the corridors by a bullet head.

"Where's the Admiral?" The girl frowned realizing he was nowhere to be found.

She was sure that she was going to find him glued to Laura's side.

"I just sent him out of here for a while. I know that he really shouldn't have left his post for this, especially during high alert. I'm fine. Once he was sure of that I think he wanted to show the Commander that he isn't just wearing that uniform for show."

"I can understand that. He was worried, though. I couldn't see straight at the time but I can tell you that I heard the fear in his voice when they told us you'd been rushed here. He has priorities. I think you know what comes first for him, uniform or not."

"Yes, I do."

"So…" Katya said looking down at her thumbnail, "knowing that, are you still upset that he's joined?"

Laura tilted her head in consideration and then winced at the pain it caused. She was still learning what muscles were sore from her fall. Her discomfort with Bill's enlistment had been obvious on Delta. She hadn't even tried that hard to hide it. Now almost two weeks later she was finally coming to terms with the fact that he'd actually gone through with it.

"I'll get used to it, Katya. It's just, I think it might take some more time."

"Are you mad at him? Because to be honest I think enlisting has made him kind of happy. Well maybe not happy but at least something better than he was before."

"I was a bit angry to be quite frank. I didn't mean to be but I was," Laura admitted. "But you're exactly right. It did make him feel better about being here and after I saw that on Delta I couldn't be mad at him anymore. I'll adjust."

"That's good," Katya said truly relieved to hear it. "So are you going to take a nap?"

"They don't want me to sleep just yet. Slight concussion."

"Ah," Katya nodded, "I know how that feels. Well then…I came here to sit with you," She lied. She'd come to take a peek. She'd come in just to make sure that Laura's brains were still inside her skull so that she could go back to work without wondering. Now she was offering to stay. "If that's okay, that is?"

"Really?" Laura asked with a sheepish smile.

"Yes. I mean, you did it for me."

It wasn't just her overnight stay in Alpha's ward that she was referencing anymore.

After Katya's strange and alarming meeting with Sam Anders on Delta it was Laura who had accompanied her back to visitor's quarters and made sure that she was settled and calmed. Katya had been in a haze as Blazer walked them back to the cabin. She couldn't think straight. They'd even passed by Saul furiously berating Alexi in the hallway and instead of rushing to her husband's defense as she usually would, she'd blocked their voices out, put her head down and walked between Blaze and Laura until she couldn't see or hear them anymore. She could hardly remember the rest of the walk but she remembered getting to her door. Laura followed her in and insisted on waiting while she showered. Katya thought that she could remember a minimal back and forth of wills but she knew that she'd been the one to give in because Laura was still there when she'd come out of the head. She'd been dripping wet and shaking in her towel and it made Laura worry she was having some kind of anxiety attack or period of extended shock. Katya refused any further offers of help and eventually she got Laura to leave. She had been fighting the urge to cry since Anders put his slimy hand on her and she was so close to letting go. She just didn't want anyone to see it. Once Laura was finally gone she'd totally broken down. Alexi had found her on the bed an hour later, hair still damp and still wrapped in only a towel. She'd cried herself to sleep for reasons she still couldn't explain.

"I've gotten the sense that you don't like it in here much more than I do," Katya went on. "I thought I might keep you company…Just until the Admiral comes back though. I won't sleep over or anything," She ribbed.

"Very funny," Laura answered. She remembered how nervous she'd been to wake up that morning still by Katya's side. She'd been so afraid that she would be angry and now they were laughing about it. "Well that's very nice of you. You don't have to do that. I know you've had quite a morning yourself..." Laura stopped herself, worried her response was coming off as a denial of Katya's gesture, "but I won't turn down the company if you have the time," She added with a smile.

"I don't have the time," Katya corrected. She walked the few paces to the corner of the curtained off room as if she were on a mission and swiftly pulled an empty chair toward the bed. "I'm making the time."

Katya sat down with a pert look on her face that Laura couldn't help but smile at. She'd seen it now in a dozen Tigh home videos. It was a face Katya had made since she was a little girl. Laura almost expected it now when she watched the little clips. The cheeky expression was always followed by Ellen telling Katya not to get sassy but then giving in and kissing the smart little look off of her face until the girl broke into a fit of laughter. Laura had started replaying the moments in her mind as she daydreamed, trying to imagine herself in Ellen's shoes. She wasn't sure what kind of mother she would have made. She was sure that she probably wouldn't have been anything like Ellen Tigh but she still couldn't help but envy all of the woman's precious memories.

"Are you okay, Katya? I mean really?" She asked, the smile on her face quickly becoming a look of concern. She searched her daughter's indigo eyes for any hint of distress. "I know what I felt before I passed out and it was honestly terrifying."

"I'm fine," Katya said with absolution but as she looked back at Laura her face started to show its own form of concern. "Do you understand what happened to us, Laura?"

"I think so."

"Then you understand that it's probably going to happen every time there's a breach from now on?" Katya asked, though she hoped it wouldn't wind up to be the case.

Ellen and Margot needed to find a fix soon. This was dangerous. Laura had been in the shower doing a benign daily task and she'd gotten seriously injured. What would their lives be like if this continued?

"I guess so," Laura considered. "I mean I understand to a point."

Katya nodded.

"Alexi and Blaze were totally out this time just like the others. It seems like you and I felt it at the level they'd been experiencing before."

Laura grimaced. It was yet another thing lumping her in with the cylon left in the world and she hated it.

"Bill said that it hit D'Anna and Sam too."

"Yes," Katya confirmed, "Ellen was there with them. All three of them were out. They're okay now. Elle was actually glad that she was with them for their first time. They'd been warned about what's been going on but I'm sure she felt better being there with them for their first experience. Whatever this is it's getting stronger. I never thought I had enough cylon in me to be affected but as much as I know you hate it…well, it turns out we both do," Katya said looking down at her lap. "I'm sorry that you got hurt."

Laura reached out for Katya's hand but she missed it as she took it away to rub at her lower back.

"It's not your fault, Katya. It was unavoidable. We didn't know."

"I know that. It's just…I know how much time you spent in a bed like this. You've done it enough. You shouldn't have to do it anymore. For any reason."

Laura's heart was warmed by the girl's honest concern. She knew that it couldn't be easy for her to say such things.

"Sometimes people get sick," Laura shrugged.

Katya was sure that she saw a glimmer of suggestion in Laura's eyes and she had to shake her head at it. Laura really was just as bad as Ellen.

With a sigh she leaned back in her chair hoping that it would ease the ache in her back.

"Well I hate it here," She said biting at her thumb nail as she spoke. "When I was eight I got really sick. I mean really sick for a little kid. Some sort of flu or something," She started as she leaned forward again." It advanced really quickly and I had such an awful fever that I was hallucinating. Big surprise, huh?" She teased getting small but sad smile from Laura. "I just remember feeling so bad because Ellen was crying and I wanted to be okay for her. I hate seeing her cry. It's the worst. I've always hated it. It just…kills me. Anyway, Uncle Saul was afraid to move me so Xao came and did a cabin call." Katya looked off to the side and quietly sighed as she thought of the awful childhood memory. "Then the next thing I can remember is waking up here. I was really anemic and Xao wanted to give me a blood transfusion but…well…I can't get a transfusion from anyone but you. I guess that's thanks to Alexi's father, Dr. Baltar," She smirked, looking back at Laura. She saw something strange flash in the woman's eyes as she said it but she went on anyway. "That meant that they would have to take you out of stasis just for that and even though I was deathly ill the EOC didn't want to approve your removal.. Sometimes I think they saw it as an opportunity to get rid of me. Their theory about the four of us was already a bust and a huge scandal. My death would have meant one less reminder for the population." Laura cringed at the morbid implication but Katya just gave a simper of a smile and shrugged."Ellen went crazy. She went absolutely nuts on them and as you can imagine, she got her way. You were out by the end of the day. They took a small supply of your blood while they had you out just in case anything ever happened to me again. Most people in Orbit can actually take synthetic transfusions but there isn't anything like that for cylons and there sure as hell isn't anything like that for you and me, well except each other," Katya mused. "After the transfusion I started to feel a lot better but I also started to become more aware of my surroundings and I hated being here. Ellen never left my side but I still couldn't stand it. I was so happy to go home. "

Laura's heart sank thinking of her child gravely ill and so afraid in the same place they both now sat. She genuinely thanked the gods for Ellen Tigh. Whatever else the woman was, she'd been her daughter's fearless protector. Laura was envious that she hadn't been able to fill the role herself but at least someone had.

"You're right," Laura said as she rubbed at her tender neck. "I do hate this place."

"That's the spirit," Katya teased. Looking down at the mattress she sucked at her lower lip for a second before peering up with a new light in her eyes. "Do you want to get out of here, Laura?"

Laura smiled and shook her head.

"As much as I'd like to, Katya, I don't think that's a good idea. I should probably follow Tawny's orders and stay the night."

Katya rolled her eyes.

"Yes, you probably should but I wasn't asking you to leave," She corrected.

Laura's brow furrowed and she looked back at Katya totally confused for a moment before the meaning of the girl's words sunk in.

"Oh…no, Katya," She suddenly said as her eyes went wide in understanding. "No. I'm sorry. I can't. I can't do that."

Katya folded her arms over her chest.

"Yes you can. You mean you don't want to," She accused.

"I don't know. Maybe that's the more accurate answer," Laura relented.

"Why not?"

"Why not, what?"

"Why don't you want to?"

Laura was in a bit of shock over what she was being asked to do. Katya had grown up totally at ease with her strange abilities. The girl didn't seem to understand just how hard the reality of them was for her.

"I just…I'm not...comfortable."

Katya sighed in frustration.

"Are you comfortable here, Laura? Do you like the antiseptic smell? Hm?" She was being purposefully antagonistic. She didn't exactly want to bully Laura into it but as far as she was concerned the other woman was being irrational and stubborn. Why should they waste the gift they had? "Does that obnoxious beeping making you comfortable? How about knowing that there are three injured pilots in here right now; one who's probably going to die before the end of the day? Does that make you comfortable? "

Laura pressed herself further into her pillows as if she were backing away from the point that was being so harshly made.

"No."

"Me either," Katya huffed. "Makes me sick."

"Katya, if being here is upsetting you then you really don't have to stay," Laura argued.

"I know that I don't have to. I'm choosing to even though it's awful and I hate it. I came because I thought it might make things a little bit better for you. I wanted to return the favor."

"I'm grateful for that."

With Laura's expression of appreciation Katya settled herself.

"So let me help. Let's get out of here. Just for a while. If you don't like it we'll stop," She posed but Laura still looked unconvinced. "Look I'm going to sit here whether you agree to project or not. I just think you're making the wrong choice."

Laura looked down at the ward sheets that covered her lap. Even the linens were awful; scratchy and harsh against already sensitive bruised skin and bones. She never understood why more effort wasn't put into the comfort of patients. She was in a totally different world and the sheets that were currently draped over her were just as awful as the ones her mother lay dying upon in the Caprica City Cancer Center for Women, and they were just as rough as they were in Cottle's Sick Bay.

"Where would we go?" She winced.

"I have an idea," Katya said leaning her elbows onto the edge of the mattress. "What do you say?"

When Katya held her hand out Laura knew in an instant that she wasn't going to be able to resist taking it no matter how much she didn't want to project. It was almost unfair. She'd been lured in by bate that she couldn't possibly resist. She slowly reached to clasp her daughter's hand.

Katya smiled. She was sure that she could help Laura if she would just let her. She just needed to give it a chance.

"Good," Katya said giving Laura's hesitant hand a gentle squeeze. "Let's just give it a shot. Okay? Ready?"

Laura looked at their bound fingers, so alike that she could hardly tell which were hers and which here her daughter's. She bit down hard on her tongue trying not to object. She wasn't ready. She was nowhere near ready but she also wasn't letting go. She offered the slightest nod that she could, letting Katya interpret it herself. The young woman gave her a little smile and for a moment they silently held on to one another.

"Just let me know before you…" Laura's request died on her lips.

The ward was already gone. There was already cold sand under her feet and a bitter salt in the air. She could already hear gulls calling and the waves rumbling in and breaking against the shore.

"Are you okay, Laura?"

Laura nodded but she knew that her assurance was probably less than convincing. She felt her mouth open but she couldn't speak. She looked up toward the grey sky and out at the green waters and felt a split second of panic. She had to remind herself that none of it was real no matter how tangible it all felt. Everything was so vivid and so clear but what was even more profoundly astounding was how familiar it all was.

"What's wrong?" Katya asked giving Laura's hand a firm squeeze to get her attention.

When Laura looked back and Katya let go of her she had to stop herself from pulling the girl's hand back. She tried to wrap her head around the fact that though Katya let go in the projection they were still holding hands in the ward. Weren't they? She was so confused and so distracted by the sights around her.

"Nothing…Nothing's wrong, exactly."

"Something is. What's the matter? You don't like it?"

"It's not that…It's just…" Laura hesitated. She didn't want to come off sounding totally crazy. She was afraid that Katya would think that the projection had finally thrown her over the deep end. "Katya, where did you see this beach?" She tested. "Was it something that Ellen showed you?"

Katya shook her head and tugged at the light and flowy skirt that she wore. Its mossy green matched the color of the waves. Her uniform was gone and her hair was down and blowing with the breeze. She'd exchanged Laura's hospital gown for something similar, putting her in the same burgundy red that she'd worn to the Officer's Ball. She liked her in that color. It suited her.

"No. She's only really ever shown me the one that you accidently saw. And a lake or two. I don't really know where this came from," Katya shrugged. "Maybe I saw a picture of it on the network or something. I don't know. It showed up in a dream I had. It was pretty so I thought I'd try to project it."

Laura's eyes went wide and her brow rose.

"You dreamt this?"

"Yes"

"When?"

"Umm…The night of the ball I think? It was when we were still on Delta Station. I don't know how well I did putting it together. I told you, I've never been to the surface. I did my best but if something's wrong tell me."

Katya didn't know the half of it. Laura still wasn't sure if she should tell her or not. She was almost certain that they were standing on the same beach from her own recent dream. She kept scanning her surroundings trying to take everything in and the more she looked around the more familiar it felt. Katya wanted her to look for mistakes but she couldn't get over just how close it was to being perfectly identical to the one she'd dreamed of. From the fine sands to the green waters and downy gray sky it echoed it exactly, that was, until she looked out toward the horizon.

"What? What is it?" Katya asked.

"Nothing. It's beautiful," Laura said shaking her head.

"But something's wrong. Just tell me."

"Well…the horizon line…the perspective...It's a little, well…off."

"Oh," Katya said turning toward the water. She put her hands on her hips as she tried to evaluate what she'd done wrong but for the life of her she didn't know. "Well…then fix it," She shrugged, turning back to Laura.

"Me?"

"Yeah, you" Katya mocked.

Laura looked at her in disbelief. It was the most absurd request she'd ever gotten in either of her lives.

"I can't do that."

Katya crossed her arms over her middle and gave Laura a challenging look.

"You probably can. I didn't think that I could do much other than share these with Ellen and I eventually found out that I could do a whole lot more than that. I bet you can too."

"I don't want to, Katya. I don't even know how. You fix it."

Katya huffed in frustration.

"If I knew how to fix it then it wouldn't be wrong, now would it?"

Laura frowned and gave a nervous hum. She wasn't thinking clearly.

"I guess not."

"Just try it."

"I don't even know where to start," Laura said at a loss.

Katya closed in on the gap that was between them and took hold of both Laura's hands.

Laura was anxious and a little frightened over what was happening but she couldn't help that in the midst of it all the feeling of holding her daughter's hands made her melt.

As they stood joined together Katya closed her eyes and took a deep breath of the salty sea air.

"It's alright, Laura. Just sort of concentrate and focus and then think about how it's supposed to look," She explained in a more gentle voice than Laura thought she'd ever heard her use before.

"You make it sound so easy."

"I'm not asking you to lift weights," Katya teased, back to her usually wry inclinations. "C'mon. Just try. It's gunna bug me the whole time if I know that something is wrong. Help me fix it."

Laura couldn't tell if Katya was playing her or not. If she was then she was doing a damn good job of it. Her innocent request for assistance was too much for Laura to deny. She cringed as she thought of every homework assignment and arts and crafts project that she'd never helped her with. Could she really deny helping her daughter fix her creation? Laura had a flash of her dream with the little girl on the beach; the tiny toddler who was so happy to play in the sand. She'd tried to help her then. She'd turned her back for only moments and lost her. She couldn't help the child with her tiny little lake and sand cabin. How could she help her fix an entire beach? Laura worried that no matter how hard she ever tried to help her child it would never be right. She felt the threat of tears burn at her eyes and she closed them tight. She bowed her head toward the ground not wanting Katya to notice.

"Huh…so that's what it's supposed to look like," She heard the girl say. "That is better."

Laura opened her eyes and looked at Katya who was staring over her shoulder. Katya let Laura's hands go and gestured for her to take a look. When she did she felt a warm rush heat her face. The perspective was fixed.

"That was me?"

"Yup."

"You didn't do it?"

"Nope," Katya answered simply. "Hell, I didn't know anything was wrong. How could I have fixed it?" She posed as she continued to look past Laura and out at the sealine. "Hmm, your eyes are the same green as the water," Katya observed thinking back to the little girl in her dream; rybka with eyes like the sea.

Laura was still so stunned that she hardly heard her.

"I can't believe I frakking did that," She rasped. "I think I need to sit down."

Katya laughed as she watched Laura start to anxiously wring her hands.

"You're laying in bed right now, Laura. You don't need to sit," She reminded. "Don't worry. Nothing can hurt you here. Nothing physical, that is. At least nothing that comes from here. I'm afraid that it won't do much for the pain of your injuries except distract you," She explained as she reached behind her back trying push her thumb in deep enough to rub at her own discomfort. "You'll still feel what you came with. So what else did I screw up?" She asked putting her hands back to her hips.

Laura noticed that Katya wasn't wearing her cuff in the projection and as she looked down at her own wrist she saw that she wasn't either. For a moment she was happy to be free of it but something about its absence made Laura a little sad. It told her that though Katya had grown up knowing nothing else, somehow she felt the burden of living a life of confinement. In the girl's fantasy she was free of any signs of it.

"Nothing. It's good. I like it very much. It's peaceful it's just..."

"What?"

"Katya, I've been here before," Laura blurted.

"What?" The young woman said with a scowl.

Laura began to rub at her forehead and winced when she brushed against her newly sealed cut.

"I had a dream not that long ago too…of a beach. It looked just like this."

Katya shook her head. This was the beach from her own dream. It had come out of nowhere and it was hers. The dream had been strange and a little sad but after she'd seen it Katya knew that if she were to ever share a projection with Laura that beach would be it. She would never let her back on Ellen's beach. That was theirs and theirs alone but the beach from her recent dream was perfect. It suited she and Laura better. Ellen's beach had mellow waters, warm sun, and golden sand. This place was a little rough with it's overcast and white capped rolling waves but it was intriguing and inviting in a way that Katya couldn't explain. It made her think of her Laura. She'd planned to show it to her someday if the situation ever presented itself. She didn't understand how the other woman could have possibly seen it already.

"I don't get it."

"I don't either, Katya," Laura admitted. She balled her hands into fists and steeled her will, "Katya was I in your dream?"

The young woman's brow crinkled at the strange question.

"No. Why?"

"Because you were in mine," Laura admitted. "We were here. I'm almost sure."

"I was in your dream?" Katya grimaced.

Laura could have told Katya the truth. She could have told her daughter how she was in so many of her dreams. She could have admitted that she dreamed of rocking her to sleep as a baby and playing with her as a little girl. She could have told her that she still had awful nightmares of the lab and hearing her tiny cries with no way to help her. She could have told Katya how even those heart wrenching nightmares meant so much because she was in them. She could have, but she wouldn't. She wouldn't tell her any of that.

"Yes," Laura answered simply.

"I was alone," Katya lied, leaving out the strange little green-eyed girl who had made an appearance.

"Oh."

Laura seemed almost seemed disappointed. Katya was annoyed by her reaction. It was so rare that she dreamt of anything other than rotating spinning horror and she was expected to dream of Laura Roslin on the nights that she was spared? It was ridiculous and even so she wished that she could tell Laura otherwise just to get the look of sadness off of her face.

"It's just sand and water, Laura," Katya shrugged. "Are you sure that it's the same? I mean it's a beach. Don't a lot of them look alike?"

Laura shook her head and looked down shore.

"Those rocks, I saw them. I just know this was it."

She was insistent and Katya didn't know what to do for her. More than that, it was starting to make her feel a little uneasy.

"I don't know what to tell you. Maybe we both saw a picture of it on the network and then dreamt about it. Sometimes the cabin image screens run satellite photos of Earth when you leave them idle for too long. That's probably it. In fact I'd bet on it. Otherwise I'm not sure how my mind came up with it. I only know one beach and that's Ellen's. It's not even from this planet. Her beach, the one you accidentally saw, it was from her Earth. This one…I don't know. It's possible you and I just saw the same image someplace."

Katya could convince herself to be satisfied with that explanation for now but Laura wasn't buying it.

"Katya, I wasn't looking up beaches on the network. I never saw this place before my dream," She insisted.

Katya stepped back and narrowed her eyes.

"Look, if you want to stop just go ahead and say so," She accused.

Katya was losing her patience. She had a weird feeling in her core and she couldn't tell if it was physical or if Laura's eerie dream connection was making her feel strange. Either way she didn't like it. She'd done this to help and Laura seemed almost disturbed by it. If it wasn't helping either one of them then there was no point.

"No. No. I don't want to stop. I don't," Laura assured her.

"Well then will you stop obsessing over it? I can change it to something else. Ellen showed me a forest trail once. That might be nice. It just seems like a lot more for me to screw up. Unless you want to try one?"

"No," Laura said a little louder than she intended. "This is fine. It's good," She smiled, trying to appear convincing.

"Fine," Katya relented,."Then…do you want to take a walk?"

Laura looked down the shoreline and licked at her lips. How the hell could she actually taste the tang of the salt in the air?

"Yes…I do."

"Good."

They walked quietly for a while just skimming the surf line. The water was cold so they stayed where the sand turned damp. Laura had to marvel at every detail. She wondered what kind of concentration it took for Katya to maintain it all. She couldn't understand how it worked. When she'd fixed the horizon it felt like nothing. She'd merely thought of it and it happened. It was like any thought she'd ever had. Was it possible that an artificial extension of herself could feel so natural? She wondered if she could really create a projected space all on her own. Every grain of sand they walked upon was coming from her daughter's mind and she was blown away at the thought.

"You've really never been to the surface, Katya ?" She asked after a while.

Katya shook her head and kicked at the sand as they continued to walk.

"Never. It used to be standard for basic training. Too risky now. Now the only soldiers who get sent are ones who are selected for special-ops training. More Marines are selected than Orbit Patrol. Alexi went once."

"He did?"

"Yup. I mean, he didn't get to spend much time there. They do ground training in deserted areas but once they're noticed by bots they're out of there and sometimes not everyone makes it back. Pretty shitty to lose kids in basic. That's why most of us don't go anymore. We need special-ops though, for resource replenishment and ground research. Even though most of our needs are renewable here, there are times that it's necessary. Alexi got passed the training but he was taken off of SO and I'm glad. Sometimes I think that Saul or Ellen had something to do with it but if Alexi ever suspected that he'd be livid. He's never been sent back."

Laura nodded. Weeks ago she'd thought that Saul and Ellen had been so careless with the safety of these children who they'd supposedly been watching over. She couldn't get over how young they'd married and how early they'd taken on such dangerous professions. It made her angry that they didn't have better guidance. She still couldn't help feeling that way in some respects but it was obvious that whatever decisions the Tighs had made, wrong or right, they had been made from a place of love.

"Did he tell you about it?"

"Not much. He said that it was strange to see the sky. He said the blue was the most striking thing about it. He'd seen pictures like everyone but I guess really seeing it was different. He said that it took his breath away. Oh. and he said it smelled there."

"It smelled?" Laura giggled.

"Yeah. They were training in an open area; a field of some sort. He said that the air constantly smelled of the topsoil and the low layer of vegetation that covered the ground."

Laura squinted.

"So…it smelled like grass and dirt?"

She had to giggle. It was so surreal to hear the young woman talk about something so natural as if it were so foreign but Laura finally realized just how alien it really was to Katya and it made her laughter stop.

"I guess," Katya shrugged. "I don't know what the hell that smells like."

"You'll get to one day."

"Yeah well, let's hope," Katya said, mostly dismissing the notion. "How's your head?"

"I'm okay," Laura smiled. "I feel better now. I think this is helping."

"Really?"

The bit of hopefulness in Katya's voice made Laura grin. She actually seemed like she was surprised and happy to hear that she'd really helped. Laura was sorry for how ungrateful she must have seemed at first.

"Yes. I think so. I like it here."

"Okay."

Katya looked over and gave her a nod and a little smile in return. They continued walking down the never-ending coast.

"Katya, I really want to talk to you about your dreams," Laura attempted after a while.

She so badly wanted to, especially after seeing the beach. There was something to their dreams. There had to be. Maybe not this one, maybe not the beach dream in particular but it showed there was something special about their nightly visions.

"I brought us here so we could relax," Katya argued.

"I know. I know that."

"So can't we just do that?"

"I think it's important. I think we need to talk about them. Some of them at least."

"Not now."

"When?"

"Not now," Katya repeated. "Not here. This isn't for that. Okay? I just I don't want to ruin this place with that garbage. If you want to stop and talk then, fine. We can stop. It's your choice but otherwise lets save it for later."

"Later?" Laura said with some hope to her voice.

There was a certain appeal in knowing that there would be a later for them at all. Later meant Laura would get to spend time with her again.

"Yeah, later," Katya agreed, "Is that okay?"

"Yeah. We can talk later. Sure."

Katya nodded glad to get past the debate.

"You know, I started keeping a journal like you talked about," She offered.

She wouldn't talk about her nightmares but they needed something to discuss.

"You did?" Laura smiled.

"Yes. I mean I guess it's not really the same. You wrote with ink and paper. I've been using my cuff or the cabin tablets but I think I like it. I've only done it a few times but you're right; getting things out does feel a little better."

"That's good, Katya. I'm really glad that you're trying it."

"I also tried what you said about directing it toward someone other than myself. I tried just writing things down. It wasn't working. It sounded like I was just making a list or writing into the void. I didn't like it but when I tried to write as if it were to someone specific it just came out better. I don't know. I might keep doing it…for now."

"I think that's good, Katya."

Laura's heart swelled with something like pride as she thought of her daughter taking her advice and actually finding some benefit to it.

"I guess. It's just...I dunno…I asked you before about what you would do if anyone ever read yours. You said that half of the things you wrote you would have never really shared. You said that some of the things you wrote were better off unsaid and lost in the exodus. I can't see writing anything down to someone that I wouldn't really say to them. Though, I suppose writing things is easier than actually saying them. I just don't want to write anything down to someone that I couldn't live with them seeing. Does that make sense? "

Laura had to admire Katya's perspective. It showed a sense of honesty or at least intended honesty. She was still glad that her journal from New Caprica had been abandoned with the planet. The dark secrets and memories she'd written about to Bill had been lost to decay in the mud where they belonged. She could hardly stomach the thought of him ever reading some of the pages she'd penned to him. She was happy to know that her daughter was taking a healthier approach to coping.

"It makes perfect sense. Maybe that's a good policy. You just make it your own. Make it into what you need it to be," Laura encouraged. "My mother suggested it to me when I was around, oh I don't know, fourteen, fifteen maybe. Journaling got me through some tough times. It was some of the best advice that my mother ever gave me."

"Your mother…"Katya seemed to ponder out loud.

"Yes," Laura squinted. "What?"

Katya stopped walking and pensively tilted her head. Of course she'd known that Laura must have had parents but she'd never given them much thought. Laura had mentioned two sisters before and now she'd spoken about her mother. Katya was building up the little Roslin family tree in her head the same way she'd done when Saul spoke of Lee, Zak and other Adamas over the years.

"I don't know. I guess…I…nothing," She shrugged and continued walking.

"My mother was full of good ideas like that," Laura continued as they strolled on. "She was a teacher like I was. She was a brilliant woman. She always had the best advice. I lost her too soon. Sometimes that was the worst part. I was always wondering what other wisdom she never got to give me."

Katya frowned. She understood the feeling well.

"I'm sorry to hear that. I feel that way about my dad sometimes. I always wonder about what he had left to teach me."

"Feels sort of unfair doesn't it?" Laura posed.

"Lots of things feel unfair," Katya shrugged in dismissal. So much of her life had been unfair. Now the injustice just felt familiar. "What was her name?"

"My mother?"

Laura sounded a little surprised at the question, simple as it was.

"Yes."

"Judith."

Katya nodded in consideration, committing the name to memory.

"She taught grade school," Laura added. "She um, died of breast cancer too."

Katya shook her head. She should have figured as much. She wondered how many strong and beautiful woman within the family's lineage had been reduced to ashes by the very gene that still laid dormant inside of her.

"You said that you had sisters. Did either of them…"

"No. They didn't," Laura answered before Katya could finish. "But they both died very young. I'm not sure that either of them would have if they'd lived long enough."

"I'm sorry. I didn't know that."

"That's okay," Laura answered.

They walked a few paces before Katya sighed and shook her head. She was fed up with herself.

"I don't know anything about you, Laura. I'm sorry. Uncle Saul tried but he didn't know you. He knew so much about the Admiral; all sorts of stories from when they were young. He knew his family and friends, hobbies. Everything he ever told me about you was relegated to those last four years of your life. And I know that you two went through a lot together but I also know that you weren't exactly friends. He couldn't answer the simplest questions sometimes. He knew nothing about your life before you fled the Colonies other than your position in the government…I know nothing. It's always bothered me."

Laura lost her breath for a moment.

"I know even less about you," She managed to say. "I don't like it either."

Katya nodded in consideration. A wave rolled in and the shallow part of the surf got their feet as they walked.

"Well, what would you want to know?" Katya posed.

Laura smiled. She wasn't expecting the inquiry.

"Oh I don't know. A thousand little things," She shrugged.

"Oh," Katya frowned at the vague response.

Laura looked over and saw the disappointment on her face. Maybe she should have been ready with an answer. She didn't want the girl to think that she'd just been feeding her a line.

There was so much she wanted to know about her daughter. So often she would lay awake at night thinking about all the things that she wished that she knew about her child and now she was having trouble coming up with a worthy response.

"Like…simple things. Things like…umm…your favorite food," She suggested. Katya gave a silent giggle and Laura immediately regretted the example. "I'm sorry," She winced, "Maybe not that. I've heard about…"

"That's okay," Katya cut her off. "So you know about what went on with the four of us as children?"

"Just a little."

Katya nodded and licked at her lips.

"I'm not sure what you've heard. Saul and Ellen make it sound so much worse than it ever was," Katya defended. It was a habit. There were plenty of trials and tests that her father had included her in that she knew he probably shouldn't have but she still felt so compelled to defend him and his work. "I mean, I'm fine. It's just a nuisance really. The boys were never bothered by it and Margot's so much more disciplined about it than I am. She makes sure that she supplements the meals that she misses. I just get lazy about it sometimes. It used to drive Saul and Ellen crazy. Ellen would go nuts trying to get me to eat a full meal. Uncle Saul would keep little candies in his pocket and pop one in my mouth once in awhile when Ellen wasn't looking," Katya laughed at the memory and Laura chuckled softly along at the image of the gruff and stern Colonel Tigh having a constant supply of candy in his pockets. "I think he was always afraid I was going waste away. I didn't though. I couldn't. I needed to keep my strength up for ballet and then when I enlisted. I'm hardly a wafe," She argued. Katya was thin and her graceful frame made her look as if she might be lithe and delicate under her clothes but her years of classical training had made her lean and sturdy. She could both punch and pirouette and she was proud of it. "Those supplements that my father's trial helped to make are perfectly healthy. I've relied on them a lot over the years. I still do a lot of the time. At least the experiment wasn't a waste. If something ever happened to Beta's greenhouses we would all be living off of them until we could get another grow-ops started. They've helped the sick and elderly in a lot of ways too. There are a lot of things that I'm ashamed that my father did but that trial isn't one of them. I'm proud of that. If he had to use me to do it then…well it's like I always tell Margot, we were born to serve," She explained and it made Laura's heart sink in her chest. "I used to have a favorite food though," Katya added, done with her dutiful defense. "When I was little, before the trial. I guess it's still my favorite. I'm just hardly hungry for it."

"What is it?"

"Pierogies," Katya answered knowing that Laura wouldn't have the faintest idea of what she'd just said. "It's a traditional dish from the old Eastern Federalist region. It's sort of like a dumpling. They have a potato filling. It's a big ball of starch but it's good. My Babushka Marina used to make them when I was little."

"Ba-bush-ka?" Laura repeated the strange word.

Katya had to chuckle at Laura's awkward diction.

"My father's mother," She clarified. "My grandmother, I guess you could say. Though I don't think she really ever saw me as her grandchild. She was a scientist too, an organic chemist. She lived on Gamma Station. Marina Isakoff didn't really agree with her son's choice to raise me as his daughter. In her mind I was never his child. She made that clear enough even to a little kid."

"That's awful," Laura grimaced.

"I suppose it didn't make me feel very welcome at family gatherings but she made the best pierogies," Katya teased as if it somehow made up for it. "My father's sister, my Tetya Yelena, she was always very nice to me. It's not like I was totally shunned. After my father died my grandmother never came to visit me on Alpha again. I guess she figured that she didn't have to bother with me anymore just to please him. Tetya Yelena still came sometimes though and she would bring my cousin Miloŝ with her. He's the one who brings the vodka every few weeks. It's their distillery on Gamma Station. Yelena has always been sweet to me. She makes the pierogies now that my grandmother is gone. She sends them over with Miloŝ sometimes. I might not be very hungry most times but I can enjoy those when they come."

Laura smiled. She was suddenly pleased with the foolish little question she'd nervously spouted. She'd learned so much just from it alone. She had to admit that most of it wasn't very pleasant but she knew it now and that couldn't be taken away from her.

"I'd like to try them sometime."

"Aunt Ellen tried to make them once," Katya laughed. "She was so desperate to get me to eat. Poor woman. She called Yelena who kindly and patiently tried to talk her through it. It was hilarious."

"I bet it was," Laura said as her grin grew. Somehow she couldn't picture Ellen in the kitchen. "It's sweet that she tried though."

"Ellen's never been afraid to try anything," Katya said proudly. " I think that's what's made her such a good mom. She didn't know what she was doing a lot of the time but she always tried for me. Uncle Saul and I choked those pierogies down that night with a smile on our faces," She giggled recalling how hard she had to suppress her gag reflex and how Saul attempted to hide of few of his in some napkins. While Ellen cleaned the kitchen that night he helped Katya get ready for bed and told her that if Ellen turned her cooking into a habit that they would look into getting a dog. "So what about you?"

"Me?" Laura narrowed her eyes.

"Yes. Is there a food that you miss from back in the Colonies? Uncle Saul told me that for a long time in the fleet you all survived on only an algae protein. We grow something like that on Beta. I just can't imagine anyone living off of it alone. You must have missed some foods from your home," Katya proposed.

"I did." Laura gave a little hum recalling the bitter taste the green protein gave almost everything they ate for the last few years." That algae wasn't much to bite into," She mused. "Sometimes I guess it made me miss a good steak."

Katya squinted.

"Steak?" She repeated. "Oh, you mean like from an animal?"

Laura smirked.

"Yes…A cow."

"I've seen pictures of cows before. Oh…that actually makes me kind of sad."

Laura laughed quietly at the sweet perspective of the girl as she realized she'd never eaten an animal in her life.

"Well we don't have that here," Katya shrugged. "But maybe one day I'll try and make us some pierogies. I've never cooked anything before but maybe I'll have better luck than Ellen. Perhaps it helps to be an Isakoff. My babushka saved the recipe somewhere on the network before she died. The woman was good for something at least."

Laura's heart sunk at the mention of Katya's grandmother. She wondered what it must have been like for her to feel rejected at such a young age by someone who should have adored her.

"I wish that she would have appreciated you, Katya."

"She had Miloŝ. He was her grandchild, her blood. He wasn't adopted. She loved him. She had no use for me."

Laura cringed at just how casually Katya seemed to say the words. It came off as if it had all been learned and accepted long ago.

"My mother wanted grandchildren so much," Laura recalled. "Adopted or not I can't imagine her making a child feel unwanted. It's something that she didn't get to experience in life. Though sometimes I think she got to in death."

"What do you mean?" Katya asked as she slowed the pace of her steps.

"My sister, Sandra; she was expecting a baby when she passed away. I'm not sure…It's so hard to remember where I was before the resurrection but I just have a feeling that the child's soul was with us there."

Katya stopped walking. She felt her face go flush and her heart grow as heavy as lead in her chest.

"What…what do you mean? What happened to her? The baby…"

Laura turned, realizing Katya had paused a few paces back.

"It was a motor vehicle accident," Laura explained, unsure if Katya would even understand the concept. They had electric carts and transport vehicles aboard the stations but she wasn't sure that the girl had ever seen a street car or roads. "A drunk driver caused it. Both my sisters were killed in the wreck, my father too. Sandra's baby didn't make it."

Katya suddenly felt stricken with painful grief not just for the young woman who'd taken her baby to the afterlife with her but for Laura. She'd always wanted to know more about her mother's life before she fled her home but nothing about it sounded very good so far. Laura had outlived her whole family. It seemed like she'd suffered so much loss in her life. Saul had told Katya over and over how strong of a woman Laura was. He was right but he didn't know how right he was.

"I don't think I've ever heard something so awful."

Katya spoke so softly that Laura could hardly hear her voice over the breaking waves. For a moment she regretted telling her. The sky suddenly seemed to be growing darker, the air had become thick and oppressive. When she heard a dull distant roll of thunder and she quickly realized that Katya's reaction was inadvertently coming through in their surroundings. It gave her the chills. She had to do something to ease the girl's mind somehow and get rid of the melancholy atmosphere that had quickly taken over.

"I know now how at peace they all are, Katya. I didn't before and that made my last life a lot harder. Now I know because I've been there. I don't have the same sadness that I did before."

Katya nodded and as Laura continued to walk she followed suit. Soon the sky lightened and the air thinned a bit.

"I never considered that. It's sort of nice to think about," Katya thought aloud.

"What is?"

"The baby," She answered. "I guess that I never thought that once a baby was lost its soul would meet its family just like anyone else. It's sort of comforting."

"I guess it is."

They walked a while more in silence before Katya spoke again.

"Laura did you ever have children?" She asked, wincing at her own question. "Saul could never say for sure."

Katya was almost sure that she knew the answer. Laura spoke of her sister's child being with her in the afterlife but none of her own.

"No."

"I know it's none of my business but…was it by choice?"

Katya knew that she shouldn't be asking such a question. She couldn't get much more personal than that. It was rude. Ellen had always taught her never to ask another woman about such things. They both understood what it was like to be put on the spot and have to explain something so private. She was just so curious. She never questioned how much Ellen loved and wanted her because she knew that she'd so desperately wanted a child for so long. She didn't know if Laura had ever even considered it.

"Yes, it was by choice. I just didn't think I could handle it. The concept terrified me."

That answered it well enough. Not only had the woman's unconscious body been forced to bear a child, but her conscious mind had never wanted one in the best of circumstances. Laura had to deal with what was done to her waiting body and now she was being confronted with something that she'd purposely avoided in her last life. It wasn't fair. Katya couldn't help but curse her father for what he'd done. It was just another reason that she knew she was never supposed to be.

"I'm sorry that choice was taken away from you here, Laura," Katya said solemnly.

She didn't know what else to say to her.

"Katya…" Laura started, "I…I appreciate what you're saying but I just can't feel that way anymore," She told the young woman as she stopped in the sand and turned to face her. Katya furrowed her brow as she stilled, unsure of what Laura was saying. "It's still hard for me to accept what was done to this body. Conscious or not, no one should never be treated that way…I just…I can't be sorry for what resulted of it anymore. I just can't," She admitted as if she was letting out a secret that she'd been holding in for far too long.

"Laura, don't you understand what was done to you?" Katya asked, considering that she might on some level still be confused or perhaps in denial about all the that had been done to her new body.

"Yes. I do. I've seen it all now. All of it."

"Then how can you say that?" Katya challenged. "If you're doing it for my benefit then you don't have to. I understand exactly what happened to this body that you're in. I know what it went through. And now something that you never wanted was just forced upon you."

Katya put her arms out in an exaggerated self-display before folding them over her middle.

"Katya, that isn't entirely true."

"Isn't it? Do you know what the worst part is?" Katya smirked bitterly. "They did it all for nothing. They violated all of you for nothing. Don't you realize that if the concept of my birth hadn't been a complete and total failure that you'd still be resting peacefully with the Admiral and your families? If I had turned out to be what they wanted you would never have had to come here. I don't need to be pacified, Laura. I've known these truths a lot longer than you have. I know that I shouldn't be here."

Laura crossed her arms as she felt the breeze start to pick up.

"I don't believe that," She said shaking her head and moving some errant hairs away from her eyes.

"Laura…"

"No Katya!" Laura shouted, though she hadn't intended to. "I am not saying this for your benefit though I wish like hell I could make you understand it for your own good…I'm glad that you're here. You might think I'm full of it but that's the gods' honest truth. I'm frakking grateful and for more than a few reasons."

"The honest truth?" Katya nearly mocked. "What in the hell could you possibly be grateful for?"

Laura glanced to the side considering all of her answers but she needed something that would encompass all of them.

"If I hadn't found out about you when I did, Katya…I honestly can't say I that I would still be here." Laura admitted. "How's that for honest?" She wasn't explicit but Katya understood what she meant. They stood in uneasy silence for a few moments before Laura went on. "Lords know that I didn't want to stay. The pull to go back was so strong. I was miserable. I was deeply depressed and longing to return to where I came from. I didn't think I could fight it much longer but then…there was you," She shrugged. "And I don't know…Knowing that you existed…it made me want to stay somehow. I didn't care that you hated my guts. I didn't care that I couldn't really stand you either. I just wanted to stay so that I could be here with you, in the same space as you. You made me want to stay. You made me want to live…I don't know why, you just did. The thought of somehow ending my life never entered my thoughts again...except when I realized just how close I had come to giving in. Knowing that I could have really done it and died again never knowing about you…it still makes me sick."

Katya's mouth was slack as she listened to the intimate admission. She didn't know how she was supposed to react to it but she just felt worse. If finding out about her presence had somehow stopped Laura from killing herself then Katya felt even more pity for her. It meant that she was willing to live an awful existence to be near someone who treated her like trash most of the time.

"I know what was done to me, to this body," Laura continued, keeping her voice as steady as she possibly could. "I've been living with it for months now. I don't think I'll ever fully get passed what went on. It was wrong but as much as I know that it was wrong I still can't wish that it hadn't happened. Without it there's no other way you could be here."

Katya's eyes went wide and then darkened to an almost midnight blue.

"Ya' know that's pretty sick, Laura."

"I know that," She conceded. "Look, maybe I never consciously asked for you. In fact…I think that I spent a good portion of my last life trying like hell to avoid you, even just the thought of you…but that doesn't mean that I'm not grateful for you now, even though the way you came to be is so hard to accept."

"Grateful, grateful, grateful," Katya repeated. "You keep saying that word. It doesn't make any damn sense."

Laura ran one of her hands through her windblown hair.

"Gods, Katya, haven't you ever told yourself over and over again that you didn't want something? Almost to the point that you were convinced it was true, only to be glad when it finally came your way?"

Katya dug her toes deeper into the cold sand as if it would help her hide from the familiarity of Laura's statement.

"You can't pick and choose!" She protested rather loudly, though she didn't know why the hell she was yelling at the other woman. "You can't just ignore how wrong it was. You can't convince me that the four of us weren't a fucking travesty!"

"I'm not picking and choosing! I'm not ignoring anything," Laura argued, "Sometimes wonderful things can come from the worst tragedies," She dropped her shoulders with a sigh. "It doesn't make the past hurt any less, but it makes the future worth experiencing."

Katya looked down and toed at the sand.

"I think you have a weird definition of wonderful, Laura," She muttered unable to face her anymore.

Laura cocked her head to the side and studied the girl for a moment.

"You understand that none of that was your fault...Don't you, Katya?"

Katya rolled her eyes and let out a short acerbic laugh.

"Look, I don't need that old lecture again. Saul and Ellen and Xao and almost everyone who's ever cared for me has given me the same tired speech," She ranted. "It's nothing new. I've heard it."

"You've never heard it from me before," Laura shrugged.

"And that should make a difference?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"I don't know. Maybe because even though neither of us knew it at the time…you and I went through all of it together. Didn't we?"

Katya felt her cheeks go red and she had to look away from Laura's eyes. It was the closest she'd ever heard her come to saying that she was actually her daughter.

"You haven't had to spend the last twenty years dealing with it," She muttered.

"But I may have to spend the next," Laura meekly contended.

Katya didn't respond. She just started walking without looking back. Laura followed and soon they were both in step with each other again. As they walked Katya reached behind herself and pressed a knuckle into the dull ache in her back. In turn Laura rubbed at her sore neck. They were quiet with only the sounds of the gulls and the wave breaks between them until Katya finally answered.

"I can't imagine you sticking around that long…assuming the population isn't exterminated, that is."

Laura squinted, almost forgetting what Katya was responding to.

"Why not?"

"Why would you want to?"

Laura bit her lip hard before she answered.

"Katya…I wish I'd been brought here sooner."

Katya didn't try to argue this time. If Laura was being brutally honest with her now, then she figured that she might as well be too.

"You know, I used to wish that. I used to cry myself to sleep wishing that. I didn't know you worth a damn but I still wished that you were here."

Laura felt like her heart was in a vice. She'd been told as much by Saul and Bill but hearing it from Katya herself was devastating.

"And now?"

"And now I don't know. It's not because of who you are. It's not that. It's more like…like what you just said about not being able to wish things were different because then there wouldn't be the same result. If you had come here years ago then Saul and Ellen might not be my parents," Katya explained. "Looking back on the last fifteen years I wouldn't trade my parents for anything or anyone. Thinking of not having Ellen as my mother just feels awful. "

Laura closed her eyes against what she told herself was the sting of the salt in the air.

"I can understand that, Katya," She almost forced herself to offer. "I know that Ellen feels the same way."

"Thinking of not having her makes me feel as awful as I used to feel about not having you."

Laura nodded. She could literally feel Katya's love for the other woman. She thought at first that maybe it was in her head but whatever it was it was so completely undeniable. It was beautiful and she felt so selfish over how terribly envious it made her. A mere shell of herself had held the girl's heart for a time but she couldn't hug her or kiss her or even love her back and so Ellen did.

They walked for a while in solemn consideration. Laura had to wonder why Katya was still with her. They'd been walking, or at least projecting for quite a while, not all of it pleasant and she hadn't fled. She'd done what she said she would do and she was sticking with it.

"What else did you used to wonder about me?" Laura asked after a while.

Her tone was lighter as she attempt to lift the mood. She was glad when she glanced over and saw the whisper of a smile on Katya's lips.

"What you'd smell like," She answered after a beat.

"Smell?" Laura teased.

"Well…yeah," Katya shrugged. "Soon after Ellen moved off of the basestar she started wearing this perfume they make on Beta. She still wears it. It's made from some sort of flower. I can't ever remember which but on her it's mixed with station laundry, her shampoo and sometimes later in the day, her drink of choice," She mused though it was true. " It's always been a comfort to me. When I was little, once in awhile Aunt Ellen would have to spend a night or two away on the basestar or working on other stations. I've always sort of had trouble being separated from her. Even now with her on Delta it makes me anxious to have her so far. When I was little it was way worse. I'd cry once bedtime came because she wasn't there to tuck me in. So Uncle Saul would spray her perfume on my pillow so I could smell it at night and feel like she was with me. It helped me sleep. She bought me some a while ago but it doesn't smell the same on me. On her it's just better. It's the smell of my mom's hugs. And I guess ever since I knew what her hugs smelled like I started to wonder how yours would smell too. Now that I'm saying it out loud it sounds sort of creepy and…" Katya stopped when she glanced over and saw Laura wiping some tears from her cheeks, "Oh…Laura, are you fucking crying?"

"No," She answered with a quick sniff and cleared her throat.

Her denial was pitiful.

"Yes you are," Katya accused. "I didn't tell you that to make you cry. I'm sorry. "

Katya didn't even know what part had upset her. Was it the part about her or was it what she said about Ellen?

"No, Katya please. I don't want you to be sorry," Laura insisted.

"Maybe you and I shouldn't talk about stuff like this."

"Please, please don't say that."

Laura was begging, something she didn't think she'd ever done out loud. Maybe she'd begged the gods for help, for mercy, for comfort and salvation in her old life but she didn't think she'd ever really begged another person. Not even in New Caprican detention when they'd tried to make her.

"Why?"

"Because this stuff is all I want to talk about."

Laura cringed when her voice cracked and her tears started to flood over her lashes again.

Katya hated that she'd made her cry. No matter the reason she just didn't like inspiring that reaction in people. Seeing Ellen cry had always cut at her so deeply and now seeing Laura, it was almost as bad. She wanted to know things and maybe even share a bit with her but she wished that it wasn't all so painful.

"Don't cry, Laura. Please?" She said putting a hesitant hand on the other woman's shoulder. "The Admiral isn't back yet. Let's just keep walking. Okay?"

Laura nodded in agreement. They walked on and before long she felt a rush of relief when Katya spoke again.

"So what do you suppose your mother would think of me?"

Laura felt a rush of relief flood over her. Katya wasn't going to deny her this. She was answering her plea. The question was her offer to keep going and Laura took it.

"Well, I think she'd be happy to know you…but…"

"She wouldn't take any of my crap, huh?" Katya giggled.

Laura smiled and shook her head.

"No. No she wouldn't."

"I can respect that."

"She wouldn't have given up on you, though. I know that much."

"She sounds like an impressive woman."

"She was."

After walking a bit further Katya began to feel the dull ache in her lower back start to grow, spread through the center of her body and intensify. She abruptly stopped in her tracks as the wave of pain flooded through her. As it peaked she thought that she might double over. Then suddenly it eased and was gone. It came and went like the waves. As quickly as it had come on it faded just as fast into almost nothing.

Laura turned and saw the brief but alarming look of discomfort on Katya's face.

"Are you alright? What's wrong?"

Katya took a few deep breaths and when she was sure that the pain had completely passed she nodded. She was becoming less convinced that it was the strained muscles from her dizzy retching in the Control Room. Whatever it was had come and gone and she wasn't ready to break their projection just yet. She'd just seen a medic who had told her that everything was fine. She was already in the ward. If it happened again at least she was already in the right place.

"I'm fine."

"Maybe you should sit down."

"I am sitting down," She reminded Laura again.

Laura shook her head and blushed a bit.

"I keep forgetting."

"I'm fine…" Katya gave Laura a stern look that warned her not to ask again but the tension faded quickly. "Want to keep going?"

Laura was hesitant but she nodded and they walked for awhile more. She marveled at how she could still feel the slight sting of the cut on her head but her feet weren't the least bit tired from their walk. She could smell the sea air, feel the fine sand and the cool breeze but none of the effects.

"I think one of my nightmares came true, Laura."

Katya interrupted Laura's thoughts with the sudden admission. She paused, afraid of sounding too eager and too pushy.

"What do you mean?"

Katya swallowed and squinted off into the distance.

"What happened to us today," She started, "I think that's part of what I've been dreaming of. I've been having this dream where I feel nothing but that awful sensation of spinning into oblivion and not being able to stop it. It's exactly what I felt today. It's what Alexi says he feels. It's what we're all feeling."

Laura looked over at her and studied the expression on her face.

"I thought that you didn't want to talk about those dreams here."

"I don't," Katya answered, keeping her eyes forward. "I'm done. I just wanted to tell you that."

Laura frowned. She was hopeful when Katya brought it up but now she was shutting down again.

"You said we could talk later."

"Yes. I but I said, not here."

Laura shook her head. Katya had been the one to bring it up and now she was getting annoyed at the questions that followed. She couldn't keep up with the girl's erratic temperament. It was infuriating.

"Then when?" Laura challenged a little more forcefully.

"Just, later," Katya snapped. She stopped and turned toward Laura. "Damn it. Why does everything have to be so damn specific with you?"

"Why does everything have to be so frakking confrontational with you?" Laura quickly went back at her.

She hadn't meant to. She didn't want to run Katya off or make her change her mind but her frustrations had won in the moment. As sick as she knew that it was, Laura was willing to be the girl's punching bag for the most part if that's what it took to spend time with her. Still, her own temper wouldn't be quelled forever and it had just reared its head. Laura let out a frustrated sigh not knowing what to do or say next. She was only somewhat relieved when Katya spoke first.

"I told you. I promised you," Katya shrugged displaying her unwillingness to offer much more. "If later isn't good enough for you then…"

Her words were lost when something over Laura's shoulder caught her eye. For a moment she thought that she'd seen a bit of color, some bright yellow within the sea green surf. When she saw it again her jaw went slack as she realized what it was. It tumbled in the wave's break and then ran in with the tide and out again just to repeat the journey once more. She felt her mouth go dry and a chill run up her spine.

When Laura saw the near stunned look on the now silent young woman's face she turned toward the direction in which she was so intently staring. In a moment she saw it too. The familiar little yellow toy bobbed in the water like a tiny beacon.

"Laura… are you doing that?" Katya asked in a low shaky voice.

Laura shook her head as her hair blew with the breeze.

"No…At least…I don't think so. No."

Laura's eyes immediately stung with tears. She didn't know if they'd welled for real or in the projection or both but she had to fight off the urge that she felt to close them as she watched the toy shovel floating closer and closer to their feet. Soon she couldn't hold her lids opened anymore and they shut tight squeezing hot tears out of the corners of her eyes and down her cheeks. When she was able to open them again she was back in the ward. She was in bed, rough sheets all around her and Katya's hand still held tightly to hers.

"I'm sorry," Katya said without giving Laura her focus. "I couldn't do it anymore," She whispered before releasing Laura's hand and rubbing at her troubled eyes.

Laura made a fist when she felt the ward's cool air hit the spot on her palm where they'd been joined. She cleared her throat and thumbed away a few tears before she could find her voice again.

"That's alright. I was ready to stop," She said softly.

Katya shook her head like she was trying to erase what she'd just seen but it wouldn't leave her mind. She leaned back in her chair with a dejected sigh, closed her burning eyes and rubbed at the tension in her back with a firm thumb.

Once Laura was able to compose herself she looked over and saw that her daughter looked as shaken as she felt herself.

"Katya?" She said getting the girl to open her eyes. "Are you alright?"

She leaned up in the chair and looked down at her feet as she nodded.

"I'm fine," She answered in a voice that didn't sound or feel like it had come from her. "Laura are you sure that you didn't…"

Katya stopped and turned when she heard the curtains rustle and Bill Adama entered. He looked surprised to find them together and his eyes went back and forth a few times before he spoke.

"I'm sorry, ladies. Did I interrupt?" He asked noticing the solemn look on both of their faces. "I didn't know you had company, Laura."

Katya glanced between the two of them and then quickly forced herself to stand. Suddenly the space they were in just felt far too small.

"No, Sir," She answered pushing back her chair. "I was just staying until you returned."

Bill tried to smile in spite of the air in the room.

"Well don't leave on my account. Why don't you stay?" He kindly invited, "There's no rule saying one visitor at a time."

Katya tersely shook her head.

"I can't. I need to go."

"Captain, I don't think it would be out of the question for you to take the rest of the day off considering what you went through this morning," Bill posed. The look on her face as she'd gone pale and sunk to the floor had been replaying in his mind for hours. "Are you sure that you have to go?"

"Yes," She nodded curtly. "I'm fine now. I should get back to the control room; make up the time I missed today. Besides," She said as she started to make her way toward the opening of the curtain, "I need to talk to Kaplan right away."

Bill nodded in acceptance and stepped out of the way to let Katya pass.

"I hope you feel better, Laura," She said over her shoulder before opening the partition.

Laura tried to muster a smile but it didn't work.

"Thank you for coming," She started. "Thank you for…"

"I'll check in later," Katya nodded, cutting her off.

"Goodbye, Captain," Bill said to her back.

"Sir," She answered before slipping out of view.

When she was gone Bill walked over and took her abandoned seat.

"How are you feeling?" He asked Laura as he scooted the chair closer to the bed.

"I'm fine. Better," She nearly whispered, still looking at the break in the curtain.

Bill frowned.

"I'm sorry, Laura. Did I walk in on something I shouldn't have?"

"No," She shook her head and looked to her lap. "It's not that."

She didn't know what had just happened. She was totally at a loss.

"Guess she's not ready for the two of us at once quite yet, huh?" He guessed.

Laura wasn't ready to explain. She didn't want to admit to Bill that she'd been willingly projecting and she couldn't begin to tell him what she'd experienced.

"I think that's part of it," She offered, finally looking at him.

"I feel like I ran her off."

"No. No, Bill. I think she was about to hightail it out of here anyway."

He narrowed his eyes. He could feel that she was holding back. She did it often enough in both lives for him to know the difference.

"She okay?"

"I don't know."

Whatever had gone on between them, he wouldn't push for now, especially with Laura's injuries.

"She will be," Bill insisted but his encouragement didn't have the desired effect.

Laura's eyes welled and she struggled to swallow. She gripped the bed sheet in her fists until she finally forced the lump in her throat down.

"What's wrong, Laura?" He asked, now alarmed.

As Laura rolled her eyes more tears rolled out with them. She ran her hands through her hair half expecting windblown sand to fall out of it as she tried to make herself speak.

"Bill, I just can't put it into words. I can't. I know that used to be my strong suit but when it comes to that girl," Laura sighed, "I can't put two single coherent thoughts together without getting overwhelmed with…well…See my point?"

Bill took her hand in his and gave her a sympathetic nod.

"Little by little I'm learning who she is," Laura went on. "Some of it I like, some of it I just don't." She couldn't help that she still had mixed feelings over Katya's personality. The girl was so far from what she wished she was and that made her feel so guilty. She had an infuriatingly short temper and almost no patience. She was snotty, at times rude and so obviously emotionally spoiled by the Tighs that Laura wondered if they'd ever truly disciplined her at all. And even with all that in mind she was starting to find that Katya was also compassionate, loyal, well meaning and loving to those who she deemed family. "Some of what I'm learning…it breaks my heart and some of it's actually inspiring," Laura posed. No matter her faults the girl had been tough as nails through the short life she'd lead so far. It was obvious that Katya felt undoubtedly wronged by much of what she'd been through but some of it she was able to defend and put meaning to in order to cope. Though Laura found her immensely immature for her age, in that at least, Katya was beyond her years. "Even now, I still know so little about her and yet just the thought of her is enough to get me up every morning," Laura painfully admitted, taking her eyes away from Bill's intense gaze. "And I just have this feeling that it's never going to change. I feel like I could know everything about her and still I'd wonder more. I feel like I could see her every day still crave her presence at night. I'm pining over the company of someone I have to struggle so hard just to get along with. It's ridiculous really. I keep telling myself that I've formed some kind of obsession but then sometimes I think that I just…" She trailed off and looked forward toward the space in the curtain where Katya had just exited.

"What?" Bill asked, prompting her to finish her thought.

Laura licked at her lips. They were already getting chapped from the dry ward air.

"The day that we all went to Beta for Karl and Sharon's resurrection…the day I first went to Katya's cabin and we spoke…the day she gave me that little doll…" She continued trying to find her words.

"That reminds me," Bill interrupted reaching into his pocket. He pulled out Laura's matryoshka baby and held it out for her to take. "I went back to the cabin. Thought you might miss it."

Laura smiled as she looked down at the funny little cherubic painted face. She took it from him and started to roll it between her thumb and index finger out of habit. She knew that she shouldn't handle it like that. It was hand painted by Alexi's father, a special gift, but she found herself unconsciously fiddling with it so often.

"That day she gave me this doll and she gave me a real genuine smile for the very first time, I remember thinking right then that I didn't just want to know her," Laura went on. Her throat started to close but she fought against it and made her voice squeak past her lips, "I decided that I wanted to find a way to love her," Laura admitted. "But in that moment as strange as it sounds…I think that maybe I already...I know that she's still basically a stranger and I know that this sounds totally irrational, Bill," She rambled through her tears, "But I don't know how else to explain my feelings for her. I feel them in my breath and bones and in my soul and it feels awful and wonderful at the same time."

When she was done her voice hardly had any sound left to it. Bill squeezed her hand firmly letting her know that it was alright to stop, that he understood what she was telling him.

"Laura I know that it doesn't sound right but you don't need a reason to love your child. I don't know why. The fact that they're yours is just somehow reason enough. It just happens. If you're wracking your brain trying to figure out what it was about her that finally sent you over the edge then you can probably stop. Knowing she's our daughter is all the explanation you need. It means that you don't have to like her; it means you don't even have to really know her to feel that pull. It's just natural. All you needed to know was that she was yours, ours. It's alright to love her, Laura. It's alright to not have any other reason for it other than the fact that she's our baby. It's natural. It just happens. It just is. I've felt that inexplicable urge twice over before this. It's normal and you're right, it frakking hurts like hell. In the beginning it feels like your heart might burst. You wonder how you could possibly love a stranger so much and why but you just do and the answers as to how and why come later."

"You love her?" Laura managed to say.

She looked back at him with a kind of wonder in her eyes.

"Yes," He nodded. "It's alright if you do too."

Laura closed her eyes and Bill pulled her hand to his lips.

"I don't need her to love me back," Laura nearly squeaked, "But do you think that she ever could?"

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR C

COMMAND CONTROL CENTER/ C³

TACTICAL STATION

YEAR: 2315

When Katya walked back into the control room it was in a far calmer state than she had left it. She spotted her uncle talking to Kaplan at the tactical station and glanced over everyone busily working at their command stations or milling around attending to other matters. She was surprised when she found Blazer standing nearby the entrance speaking to another officer. At first she froze, watching him as she unconsciously thumbed at the ache in her back. She couldn't avoid him. It just wasn't possible. However strange the situation was she knew that she had to do just what she always did; act like nothing happened, sweep it under the rug. It was dysfunction at its finest but when she considered it, every relationship that she had was dysfunctional in some way. She didn't know anything else. Katya made her way to the Lieutenant. The officer that Blaze was speaking with excused herself to return to her post.

"What the hell are you doing in here, Blaze?" She asked when the other woman walked off.

"The Colonel called me in," He shrugged.

Katya had been right when she guessed that Kaplan would want to implement her new tactics right away. With Saul as the Aviation Resource Superintendent the Commander had put it in his hands. He'd called Blaze in to go over scheduling logistics.

"Why? You shouldn't be working. I told you to take the day."

Blaze looked a little miffed.

"You're here," He challenged. "If you and the Colonel can work so can I. Alexi went right back too. Besides, it hit you too this time. You see now how quickly it comes and goes," He argued. "So did Tawny check you out?" He asked quickly, purposefully changing the subject.

"No. She was slammed. She had a medic do it."

Katya thumbed at her back again as she answered. She was hardly aware that she was doing it until Blaze gave her a suspicious glare.

"You're sure everything is alright?"

"My back hurts. I think I pulled something. I'm going back later. Xao's orders but for now I'm fine. The medic cleared me."

"You're positive?"

"Yes. I'm fine. It was Roslin who got hurt."

"Is she okay?"

"Yes. Cut on the head, like you heard. Slight concussion. I guess she threw her back out too. She'll be fine."

"Glad to hear."

"Are you two having a frakking private party!?" The Colonel's voice interrupted their conversation from across the room.

"No, Sir," Katya answered, happy to see her uncle looking well. His rough greeting aside, she could tell that he was glad to see her too. "In fact I have something I'd like to propose to you and the Commander in light of today's development, if you'll allow it?"

"What's this about?" Saul asked gruffly.

"About the bot signal and who it affects," Katya answered matter-of-factly as she made her way over to where the two men stood.

Blaze followed close by.

"We know who it affects, Captain," Saul said with a narrowed eye.

"For now," She said almost snidely in return. She ignored the look he gave her and addressed Kaplan instead. "Who's flying patrol by the atmosphere line, Sir?"

"No one," The Commander answered. "I called them back after the breach. We only have guardian raiders out there at the moment but even they aren't on the line. They can't be. That signal is constant down there. Even with their new firewall it's too strong. You know that," Kaplan scowled, annoyed at the fact that he had to tell her what she already knew.

Margot and Ellen's fix had done its job to a point. The raiders and centurions were no longer affected by the transmitted signal in outer Orbit but it seemed that the atmosphere line was its source and when raiders attempted to close in on it they felt the full effects despite all of Margot's efforts. They'd lost at least a dozen cylon ships figuring that out. Raiders, or centurion piloted heavy raiders would become disoriented and spiral out of control, eventually crashing into one another or spinning past the atmosphere line into the gravity field where they would post hole to the surface. For now they were keeping their raiders at a safe distance. No one had come close to the range of the line in weeks, cylon or otherwise. Orbit patrol craft was never sent that close without guardian raiders and raiders just couldn't go now.

"Who's closest in AQ?" Katya asked.

"We have a team out there," Blaze answered for his superiors. "A handful from Luna Force, some Angel."

Katya's eyes went to her Commander.

"When's the last time that any raider or special-ops team attempted to enter the atmosphere below any quadrant?"

"Two weeks," He answered.!"Since the raiders can't get down there anymore it's been avoided. We've been working on getting a team together to go forward but it's been a long time since we've sent anyone down without cylon protection. They're being prepped and retrained to go without guardians."

"We've been playing defense, Captain," Saul added, "You know that. We don't need to go into the atmosphere right now."

Katya scowled.

"So we have no idea if we even can?" She prompted with a raised brow.

"We know that the raiders can't," Kaplan shrugged. "Our ships and pilots could. We just don't know for sure how far they'd get without raider protection."

"What makes you so sure about that?" Katya posed.

"About what?" Kaplan bit, getting frustrated with the Captain's inquiry but Katya was unfazed.

"How are you so sure that our pilots could pass?" She clarified.

"It's only affecting cylon," He answered tersely.

"It affected me today," She challenged. "Laura Roslin felt it too."

"Katya, you and Laura are different," Saul interjected.

"I know that. I understand that but think about it. She and I aren't cylon. We're colonial and we have tansmutated DNA with cylon attributes," She explained reiterating the jargon that had been told to her throughout her whole life. "With all due respect to you, Commander, you're more directly cylon than I am. The entire population is. My cylon attributes may be stronger since they were caused by direct medical intervention performed on my mother but yours?" She posed. " Well, they're natural and weak as the cylon genetics might be, they are still there. What makes you think the rest of our people won't start to feel this thing if it continues to gain strength? It was me and Roslin today but what happens next time?"

"That's a very grim possibility you're proposing, Captain," Kaplan grimaced.

"Ellen never said that could happen," Saul defended.

Katya shook her head at her uncle and the obvious denial in his voice.

"Yeah, well I'm not so sure that she hasn't considered it." She could tell that Saul didn't appreciate the tone of implication in her voice but right now she had more pressing concerns. "Look, Commander, maybe right now the transmitted signal is only strong enough to affect cylons like Colonel Tigh and hybrids like Blazer and whatever the heck I'm supposed to be but we know how strong it is at the atmosphere line. You just said it, Sir; even with Specialist Le Blanc's firewall in place, the raiders can't cross it. If the general population is all made up of cylon amalgamates then maybe none of us can. Maybe we can't get to the surface at all."

"We don't know that," Saul said, now more agitated than before.

"Don't you think that we should know?" Katya sharply countered.

"What are you suggesting?" Kaplan asked.

Katya looked at Saul and then back at Kaplan before answering.

"Get a pilot out there; not a raider, not me, not Blazer. Get an earth human pilot by the line and see if they feel it at the source where it's strongest. At the least it will tell us if we're even able to get to the surface anymore. At the most it will tell us what's coming if that transmission gets any stronger. If it does…"

"We're screwed," Blaze finished for her. "She's right. We should know. Our ships won't be affected. It will be up to the pilot to see if they feel anything physically."

Kaplan's face turned to stone.

"I've never ordered a ship through the atmosphere without a guardian lead or tail. Not once."

"Times are changing, Sir," Blaze shrugged.

"They wouldn't have to fly through," Katya posed. "In fact I don't think that they should. The best approach would probably be for a tight V of three falcons to ease their way in. Lead would just report their condition as they got closer and closer. If they can make it to the outer limits of the line without feeling ill then I would think that would be enough to tell us that the general population is so far unaffected."

"And what if the lead pilot does feel it?" Kaplan speculated.

"We call them back," Blaze advised. "At the very first sign of distress."

Kaplan's expression was stern in consideration but Saul's was running the gamut between shocked, horrified and disgruntled.

"Sounds like a plan," Kaplan finally nodded. "Captain, it's your operation. Take charge."

Katya's eyes went wide.

"Me? Now?"

"Do I have to repeat myself?" The Commander said firmly.

"No, Sir."

"Very good."

As Kaplan walked away Saul followed him.

Blaze and Katya could already hear the Colonel questioning the Commander's decision.

"Who the hell are you going to send in?" Blaze asked.

"Well," Katya considered, trying to get her head straight. "Who's out there?"

Blaze made his way over to a flight plan console and Katya followed. He quickly brought up the current schedule and pilot manifest.

"I want someone fast," She told him as he scanned the names projected over the screen.

"Slip-Shot's pretty close by. He could get two tails and be there in no time."

"Get him on the line."

"Captain are you ready?" Kaplan called across the room.

Saul huffed and grimaced beside him.

"Assembling a special-ops team now, Sir."

Soon Slip-Shot was on the line and Katya explained to him in detail what she wanted him to do. She assigned two other birds to the operation; one from their squad and another from Angel Force. She kept her voice sturdy in her direction and in turn Slip-Shot seemed confident and even excited to go in. When radar was confirmed clear she gave him and his tails the okay to slowly inch forward and hover four minutes outside of the very edge of the outermost limits.

"Standing by for direction," Slip-Shot's voice echoed through the com once he was in place.

Katya licked her lips. Her mouth was dry. She'd lead a few operations outside of the cockpit before but nothing like this. The room was filled with anticipation. Maybe they really couldn't get down there. Maybe she was right. Maybe they really were trapped in Orbit forever until they were all picked off by bots a little at a time.

"Sir?" She asked looking over at Kaplan and hoping he would give her the go ahead.

The man shook his head.

"This is your show, Captain. Make the call."

She looked over at Saul and he gave a stern look in return refusing to aide her in the decision. It irked her and in turn gave her the push she needed to go on.

"Slip, I want you to begin easing up gradually on the outer edge of the line. Have your tails follow no more than thirty seconds behind at all times."

"That's a 10-4, Cap. Going in."

Katya was grinding her teeth as they waited for the pilot to report back. The adrenaline spike was enough to dull the gnawing ache in her back.

They all watched the projection of Slip-Shot's falcon as it flew over the tactical station console toward the quarter globe.

"Report any changes to physical constitution, L.T. Any at all and as soon as you feel it," Katya instructed.

"Nothing yet, Captain," The pilot answered in return.

Katya looked at the commander again and he nodded toward her.

"Proceed another four forward," She ordered," Have your tails hang back."

She was entirely unsure of herself but she'd been the one to bring this up and if she didn't test it all the way she'd be risking the lives of three pilots for nothing.

"Copy that," Slip-Shot answered.

They watched the illuminated rendering. He flew smoothly past the outer limits of the area in space where the conditioned terrestrial climate dissipated into nothing. All seemed fine until his bird seemed to begin to fly off course.

"L.T. Redirect," Katya ordered. "You're angling away from your team."

The com was silent for a moment until he echoed in.

"I…I didn't. I didn't notice. Sorry, Koshka."

The pilot's voice sounded strange, its confidence gone. They watched the console expecting him to correct his trajection but he only went further off course in yet another direction.

"L.T, redirect," She instructed again.

This time the com clicked on and off without the pilot's voice coming in. They heard both of his tails hailing for him but he didn't answer them either.

"Alpha Actual, this is Smoker, flying west tail. Lead has stopped responding to our hails. What are your orders?"

"What the fuck is wrong with him?" Katya said glancing at the board and then to Blaze.

Slip-Shot was still flying totally off course and closer toward the atmosphere.

"Come in Slip. Report!"

"I dunno, Cap," Slip-Shot's voice finally sounded. "I don't…I don't feel so hot. Something's not right. I can't tell my right from my left."

"Damn," Katya said palming her forehead. Kaplan moved in closer, gave her a brisk nod and gestured for her to cut it short. "Lieutenant, I want you to abort mission. Hover until your tails come by to guide you back in."

"No!" Kaplan shouted, finally piping up. "Captain, no. Retract the order.

"What? Why?"

"We aren't sending two more pilots after him just so they can go haywire too."

They had their answer now and it wasn't good.

Katya shook her head at Kaplan in disbelief.

"Slip, I said halt you bird and hover!" She shouted. "Smoker and Big Dig hang back for now!"

The two tail pilots answered in the affirmative but Slip-Shot was silent and he was still barreling forward further toward the zone of the gravity line. If he couldn't control is ship in orbit he had no chance within the gravity field.

Katya turned to face the Commander who was staring at the board like he'd never seen it before. She smacked its surface in frustration finally getting him to look at her.

"What the hell do we do then? Just leave him out there?" She seethed. "Slip, damn it! Stop!" She shouted over the com again.

"I can't, Cap'," The pilot answered, "I can't tell where I'm going. It's all just…It's my eyes…or…I just can't…"

"Slip, halt your bird! That's an order. Cease flight. You are closing in on the gravity sphere. Wait for assistance!" She ran her hands down her face in frustration. "Blaze, get a shuttle out to meet them for taxi transpo once we can guide him out of there."

Blaze nodded and went to call for the hawk but Kaplan stopped him.

"No, L.T," Kaplan called, stopping Blaze in his tracks.

"Commander, we have to get someone to go after him!" Katya argued.

"Then we'll lose two pilots," He said, stoically watching the board.

His face looked remorseful but she could tell that he'd given up.

"He's not stopping!" Saul shouted.

"Shit! C'mon L.T. Stop!" Katya shouted again.

"Alpha, this is Smoker. Lead is over five minutes ahead and gaining."

"Just stay there! Await your orders!" She shouted back.

"Not so fast!" The flight surveillance officer called. "Two airbots just came into range. One coming from the east one west, inbound on the rouge falcon."

The station alarm started to buzz.

"Godsdamn!" Saul roared.

"Fuck!" Katya swore.!"Smoker and Big Dig go weapons free!" She ordered getting a 10-4 in return. What had she done? "Slip, listen to me! You have inbound enemy craft about to flank you! You have to focus. You need to turn around and get yourself out of this. I can't send anyone after you! You're going to breach the line! You'll be flying against the gravity force soon."

"I can't, Cap! I dunno which way is up!" He slurred into the com.

"Closing in," The flight surveillance officer shouted. "Two minutes."

"Slip, they are coming at you from both sides!"

"I can't see em', Cap. I can't see anything but Earth!"

"You need to pull up, Slip. Just pull up! Go hot and just pull up from the atmosphere."

"He's getting dangerously close to the gravity field!" Saul called.

"Call your other pilots home," Kaplan told Katya solemnly.

"You said this was my call!" She argued. "Slip-Shot, pull up! Pull up now!"

"Airbots closing in," Came the other officer's voice from his console. "They're hot!"

"Slip!"

In seconds both airbots were on the pilot's tail. Kaplan took control of the com system and ordered both tail pilots to abort their mission and fly home. Katya shouted in protest but he didn't listen. They stared at the tactical projection, watching Slip-Shot's bird duck and dive in no real defensive measure as he shouted over the com system that he could hear their incoming fire. They weren't even shooting right at him. They were just chasing him further down past the line. When the gravity became too strong he lost all control and they watched him spiral down toward the surface. The airbots abandoned him, satisfied that the rest of their job would be done for them.

"No!" Katya screeched. "No, no! We've got to get a recon team passed the line somehow!"

Kaplan looked down regrettably dismissing her frantic plea. She looked at her uncle but he shook his head.

"We have to!" She shouted but neither man answered.

Blaze came up to her and put a hand on her shoulder trying to calm her.

"Kat, you know that we can't. It's obvious now that you were right. None of us are getting passed that line without becoming bait. Even if we could go after him...single pilot down. It's against regulation."

"Fuck regulations! He wasn't following regulation orders!"

"You all follow orders. All the time, "Saul told her in a more sympathetic tone. The horrified look on her face was killing him. "Some of them are regulation some special-ops. We lose people everyday who were only following orders," He did his best to console her but in the control room he couldn't do what he really wanted to.

He wanted to embrace her. He knew how it felt to send people out who never came home. He wanted tell his little girl that she'd done her duty, that he was proud of her and that he was sorry for her loss but here she was a soldier and he had to treat her like one. He looked away when her tears started to run.

"They were mine," Katya rasped through her squelching throat. "They were my orders."

The station alarms buzzing ceased telling her that it was over in no uncertain terms.

"I'm sorry, Captain," Kaplan added. "We know now. It's good that we know. He was a fine pilot."

"He could have ejected!" Katya challenged. "He could still be alive. Don't talk about him like he's already dead," She told the Commander as he turned his back and walked away.

"Lieutenant Bishop," Kaplan called over his shoulder directing Blaze to see to the Captain. "Colonel Tigh, get your wife on the line. I want to talk to Ellen ASAP," He demanded.

Saul's eye went wide and his attentions were taken away from his distressed daughter.

"You don't think Ellen knew about this?" Saul scowled, "She couldn't have."

"I want her to tell me so herself. And I want a fix to the problem. While you're at it get me Specialist Le Blanc. I want to hear from the both of them. Now."

"The two of them have done nothing but help so far," Saul defended as he walked after him.

The Commander's tone sounded accusatory.

"I gave you an order, Colonel," Kaplan said again.

Saul stopped and reluctantly made his way over to the wireless.

Blaze walked Katya out of earshot. She was in such a daze that she hardly registered the steps they'd taken toward the hatchway.

"I'm sorry, Koshka. It wasn't your fault. It was a special task force done on the fly. You couldn't have known for sure. Who knew Slip would freak like that?"

Katya was shaking as he held her at the shoulders.

"We did…We both know how it feels. I sent him out there to die for a fucking test," She said through gritted teeth as her tears ran hot.

"We needed to know."

"We should have waited."

"For what?"

"I don't know."

"I know you want to blame yourself right now, Kat but you can't. The Commander gave the job over to you. He knew what it might mean to send pilots that close without a raider," Blaze went on in a lower yet heated tone. "He fucking passed it off to you so that he wouldn't have to be the one to do it."

Katya shook her head and looked to the floor.

"I rammed right into that kid two months ago," She said referencing her collision. "He had emergency surgery, had his jaw broken in two places, all because my bird spun right into his. He just got back in the cockpit last week. I beat the hell out of him and now I just finished the job."

Blaze gripped her shoulders tighter and tried to give her a little shake when he saw how wild her eyes were.

"Koshka, they were both accidents that you couldn't help."

"This is so fucked up. What the fuck are we going to do!? What the fuck are we even fighting for if no one can even get down there? This is so pointless," She fumed, her face turning beat red.

"Katya, calm down," Blazer said as he pulled her in and tightly put his arms around her.

She sobbed and shook into his chest for a few moments until suddenly he felt her freeze up. Her body went rigid against his and he looked down to see her fists gripping the fabric of his tunic so tightly that her knuckles had lost all color.

"Kat?"

She didn't answer.

Bracing her at the shoulders he pushed her away from his chest to see the anguish on her face. Something wasn't right. It wasn't the anguish of grief. It was pain.

"Katya what is it?"

Her mouth opened but she couldn't make any sound come out. The once dull and aching pain in her lower back was now tearing through her center and she could hardly stand.

"I need to get to Tawny," She said with a hiss.

Blazer's face went flush.

"Alright," He assured her as calmly as he could. "We're going. Hold on." He braced her as firmly as he could without drawing attention to her state. "Excuse me, Commander, Sir?" Blaze called out across the room.

"What is it, L.T?" Kaplan answered.

"Permission to escort the Captain to her quarters, Sir," Blaze requested.

Kaplan looked at Katya.

"Captain Isakoff, do you need some time to compose yourself?"

"Yes, Sir," She answered as steadily as she could but her voice was quaking in her ears.

She felt the waves of pain pulsing through her and it was all she could do to keep from collapsing right there.

"Granted," He affirmed. "Captain you take some time. Remember that you did your job today and nothing else."

Katya couldn't salute. She couldn't do anything but nod as her grip on Blazer's arm got tighter.

When Kaplan turned his back Blaze leaned into her ear.

"Think you can make it out of here?"

She gritted her teeth and nodded.

"Hurry before my uncle is off the line."

They need to get out while Saul was distracted. With all the will and strength that she could muster Katya walked out of the control room's hatch with Blazer's help. Due to her distress over the lost pilot her condition went unnoticed but she couldn't keep her composure once they entered the hallway. With a sharp sob she doubled over and sunk to her knees.

"Blaze! It hurts!"

"C'mon, Koshka," He said bending down and picking her up with one fluid movement. "It's gunna be okay. I'll have you there in no time. Just hang on."

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR C

MED WARD

YEAR: 2315

When Alexi got to Med Ward he could hardly remember running there. He saw Blazer's message and didn't even stop to think before he took off. The only thought in his mind was getting to Katya's side. As he entered his eyes landed on Dr. Xao recording some notes at the center counter.

"Where the fuck is she, Xao?"

The old man could hardly open his mouth to answer before Tawny rushed out from behind a curtain and put herself in between her father and the barreling man's frame.

"Tawny where is she?! What's wrong!?"

"Shh! Shut up, Alexi," She warned him, putting her palm to his chest. "I still l have Roslin here. Adama is with her. If you don't want them and the whole fucking system alerted then lower your damn voice. You're scaring people."

"Where is she?" He asked again this time somewhat lower but no calmer.

"She's not here."

"Blaze just said…"

"I had in-station ambulatory transport take her to the civilian side. She'll be admitted there."

"What? Why? Did Blaze go with her?"

"No. I sent him to cover. Something happened with a pilot outside of Orbit. Katya was upset. She thought that Tigh might be looking for her. I've sent word to Kaplan he knows to cover too."

"What's going on, Tawny?"

"Alexi we can't wait any longer. This is it."

Alexi shook his head in confusion.

"You told us we still had another week."

"That was the goal. That's out the window now. I've let this go on for longer than it even should have. I'm not letting it go on for another week. Not now. Her body has had enough. She can't do it anymore," Tawny explained forcefully trying to get it through Alexi's thick skull.

"She thought she had more time. Can't you do something?"

"If I let this go on any longer it's going to end badly. No amount of bed rest is going to stop it. She understands that. It's time," She told him simply. "She was ready to go. You need to get ready too."

Alexi stood there with a look of panic on his face and Tawny gave him a bewildered look before giving him a firm push to his oversized chest.

"Alright…alright," He sighed. "I still wish we could do it here."

"This is protocol, civilian or military. I need a specialist with me. The facilities are there. You two are so concerned about keeping it quiet. I would think you'd be glad. How many more times are you going bring this up, Alexi?" She admonished.

"Fuck. I don't know, Tawny. I don't know what I'm doing. I need to get down there."

She could see the wheels and gears turning behind his eyes and none of them were going in the right direction.

"What you need to do is clear your head, Sergeant. Look at me," Tawny directed. "She's alright. She's in good hands. This is the only way to a positive outcome. By this time tomorrow you won't have to lie anymore. Now go back to your cabin, pack your wife a bag and then meet me back here in fifteen. We'll go over together. Go!" She gave him another firm push to the chest and with that he whipped around and ran out of the hatch.

LOCATION: DELTA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR A

MILITARY OBSERVATION DECK 2

YEAR: 2315

"Why don't you try sitting still for a second and enjoying the view?" Ellen suggested as she leaned back in the theater seat and pinched the bridge of her nose.

Sam couldn't stay put as they watched the view of the Delta quadrant. Traffic was minimal after the late morning attack. The only crafts in Orbit were patrol ships but the view of Earth was still a site to see.

"Is that why you brought me back here, Ellen? Just to tell me to sit still and shut up, like I'm some some kind of junkyard dog?" He taunted though he seemed to be losing some of his steam.

"I brought you back because you told me to!" She snapped.

She shook her head at him and then settled back into her seat.

"I don't remember that, Ellen. I told you. I don't remember anything about that."

"Fine. Whatever, Sam," She dismissed him, keeping her focus on the view of the globe beneath them.

She'd taken him to the observation deck to calm down after the attack. They were still in his quarters when the signal effects hit. When they recovered she'd left him for a short time, putting him in the hands of his security team. She'd tracked down D'Anna to confirm that she was alright and then went on the hunt for Margot. It wasn't until Ellen found her that she learned that their dreaded theory was coming true. Margot told her that Laura and Katya had been affected this time and they both knew exactly what it would mean for the future. They'd been sitting on the theory for a while now just hoping that it wouldn't turn out to be true. Now there wasn't much denying it. She sent Margot off telling her that they'd regroup when the chaos of the day had settled. Once Ellen spoke with Saul and then Katya she felt like she had everyone accounted for. She returned to Sam's cabin to find him in the midst of yet another argument with the marine security outside of his door. She was able to stop the altercation before it escalated to more than just angry words slung back and forth. She needed to get him out of his cabin. The close quarters weren't doing him any good. With a request to Cmdr. Thibodaux, an observation deck on the military side was cleared for their use. After some convincing Sam agreed to join her and they'd been sitting there uncomfortably ever since.

"Ya know, that was some trip today, Ellen," Sam scoffed.

The only illumination in the theater was from the Earth below but even in the blue light she could see the smug look on his face. It made her wish that she'd let Alexi punch him in it after all.

"Yeah, I know. I tried to warn you."

"Still, you didn't do it justice. That…that wasn't any fun."

"I know."

Sam nodded.

"You're upset because she felt it this time, aren't you? Your daughter or whatever she is to you."

Ellen narrowed her eyes and glared over at him.

"Of course I'm upset, Sam and yes, she's my daughter, thank you very much."

"Okay, okay," He mockingly relented with his palms up and leaned back in his seat, "It's just a little confusing for a newcomer is all. I mean she's Roslin and Adama's but she's yours and Saul's. It's a tangled little web isn't it?" He said as he knocked the purple cuff on his wrist against the plastic arm of his chair.

"Stop breaking those, Sam," Ellen snapped. "I'm sick of it! It's a frakking waste," She told him looking down at the cracked screen of his third or fourth station cuff.

"I don't wana wear one," He shrugged. "I figure if I break enough of them you'll stop having them slap new ones back on me."

"We aren't going to stop. And you can quit trying to get them off yourself because short of cutting your frakking hand off it's not gunna happen. They don't come off. It takes a special tool. Only doctors and the distribution teams have them so just stop."

He shrugged again and finally quit fiddling with the device for the moment.

"I touched a nerve, didn't I?" He asked looking over at the view as a patrol falcon flew passed the floor to ceiling window.

"What?" She said squinting in frustration.

"About the girl? Katya."

His tone was notably calmer and curios but she was still so annoyed with him.

"Just shut up, Sam," Ellen huffed. "I don't want you talking about her."

She was totally fed up with how often he'd been asking for Katya. Now she was just refusing to feed into it.

"You use to talk to me, Ellen. We used to talk about everything. Remember?" He said watching her irritated reaction.

He thought back to the times when the two of them used to stay late at their office or in their lab, hours after everyone else had gone home. They worked and talked and flirted. They had a hundred conversations about a thousand topics over so many late night takeout meals. Once he'd finally remembered it all back on Galactica he'd silently grieved her death all over in the midst of everything that was firing off in his brain. They'd shared so much in their first lifetimes; breakthroughs, failures, birthdays, vacations, trips to the beach with the rest of their team. He could still remember how much she'd loved the water back then.

"You know, Ellen, when you first told me that she was yours, I knew that it couldn't be for real but I was happy for you and Saul. Maybe I didn't seem it. I know how I've been since I got here," He finally admitted," But I was happy for you in my own way. I remember back home, on Earth, I held out hope for you two for such a long time…til' one day you finally told me to stop."

He saw Ellen's cheeks turn red and she looked down at her lap avoiding his eyes.

Ellen had privately shared their struggle to start a family with Sam for years. He'd been so encouraging and sympathetic when they spoke. He was a scientist; practical and logical but he'd always told her not to lose faith. The topic would come up now and then and she never felt awkward talking to him about it or letting him see her tears. He always listened and he always said the right things. One evening after seeing yet another fertility specialist Ellen had come back to their office instead of going home to Saul. Sam was the only one there. He took one look at her before she burst into tears and started unloading all of her grief. She told him how her blood work had come back and how her hormones were starting to drop to menopausal levels. She told him that she just couldn't go back home to Saul because she knew that she was going to have to tell him that it was finally over. Sam held her until her tears stopped. He didn't try to patronize her with silly condolences. He just let her hurt in his arms until she was ready to go home and face her husband.

"I'm sorry, Ellen," Sam started again, "About what I said before…back at the cabin. I didn't mean it. I know you've probably been a great mom and I'm glad that you got to finally experience that. I know how much you've always wanted it."

She finally looked back at him. Her eyes were filled to the brim and Sam knew that her next breath would be enough to shake her tears free. Instead they spilled over her lashes as she nodded at him in acceptance of his apology.

"Ya know, Elle...when we made Daniel I thought that you'd finally come close but then…"

"Don't, Sam," Ellen said squeezing her eyes tight. "Don't talk about Daniel."

He nodded in solemn understanding of her ancient pain.

Ellen felt relief over Sam's words of remorse. It showed her that he still remembered a time when he could trust her, when they could trust each other. It showed her that under his odd behavior was the same friend she'd loved so many thousands of years ago. Now she was confident that there was still hope in reaching him. She needed to be able to count on him. They all did.

"I want to meet her again, Ellen," Sam said carefully. When her eyes rolled he quickly reached for her hand. "Just hear me out? I don't know why I have such a pull to talk to her. I don't know. I just do but, but besides all that, forget all that for a second. I just wana meet your kid, Ellen."

Her eyes seemed to soften a bit but she pulled her hand from his anyway.

"You should worry about talking to your own kid, Sam," Ellen said standing up from her seat with a sigh.

He quickly rose to meet her.

"I can't. I can't do that, Ellen. Not right now. I need this. You want my help but I don't think that I'm going to be able to move on until I get this out of my system. Please? You have to convince her."

"Sam…"

"Please, Ellen. Help me so that I can figure out how to help you. Let me meet the girl who got to grow up with Ellen Tigh for a mother. Please?"

Ellen put her hands over her face and rubbed at her overtired eyes. She just wanted to go home to her family.

"I'll see what I can do," She mumbled reluctantly into her palms before dropping them. "That's not a promise, Sam. That's an acknowledgment of consideration."

"Gods, thank you, Ellen. Thank you."

He ran his hands roughly over his head, tousling his hair in relief.

The amount of weight that her slight yielding seemed to give him alarmed Ellen even more. She wasn't so sure that she really wanted Katya to meet Sam again but for now she was sure that she could use her as leverage to get him to behave.

"Don't thank me yet, Sam. I'm not guaranteeing a frakking thing."

"I'm just asking you to try."

"And I'm asking you to pull yourself together. No more picking fights with your guards, no more trashing your cabin. Stop interrogating everyone you meet about my daughter and for frak sake stop breaking your frakking station cuffs! The next one they put on you better be the last," She warned.

He nodded emphatically over and over.

"I'll try, Ellen. I don't know what's up with me. I just I have this feeling..."

"Well shove your feeling for now. I'll do my part but you need to do yours. I spent the better part of two millennia boxed on a basestar and the last few hundred working my ass off trying to help these people because of words I heard come out of your lips, Sam. Yours. Saul and I have been at this a long time. Too long and now we need your help."

"I don't know how."

"Start by not being such a frakking jackass to everyone. Do you know how much harder you're making my life, Sam? I used to go to you for comfort. Now all you're giving me is stress and anxiety."

"I'm sorry for that. I really am."

Ellen nodded.

"Let's go get you a new cuff. I'm not going to bed tonight if I can't get in contact with you."

Sam sighed and looked down at the cracked device on his wrist. He was going to have to do some work to get what he needed. He wanted it enough to try.

"Alright. Lead the way, Mom," He teased.

They got halfway up the aisle before one of the marines opened the hatch. The light from the hall made them both squint and at first they could only hear the soldier's voice.

"Mrs. Tigh," The Corporal called, "There is an officer here to escort you to Cmdr. Thibodaux's quarters. He has Cmdr. Kaplan on the line for you. He says it's urgent."

Ellen kept walking to meet the marine and her eyes quickly adjusted to the harsh change of light. She looked over the corporal's shoulder toward the officer who had been sent for her.

"What's this about?" She addressed the man.

From the looks of his uniform he seemed to be an administrative officer.

"I'm not sure, Ma'am," He answered. "The Commander wants to see you ASAP. Specialist Le Blanc is already there and they are both awaiting your arrival."

"Godsdamn it," Ellen huffed. Now she had to trust that Sam would get back to Med Ward without fighting with his escorts or starting problems with the medic staff. She turned to ask for his promise of cooperation and was surprised to find him with a look of near horror on his face. "Sam? Sam, sweetie? What's wrong?"

He shook his head and harshly rubbed at his temples with his thumbs.

"Something's wrong, Ellen," He said frantically.

"What? With what? Are you okay?"

"She's in trouble. Something is wrong with her."

"What? With who, Sam? What's wrong?"

"With Kara!"

"Sam, what the frak!?"

"I need to get to her! Something's wrong!"

"Sam, what in the name of the gods are you talking about!? Kara is not frakking here! What is going on?!"

"Kara…I mean…Kara," He repeated. He just couldn't get it right. "Katya!"

"Katya?" Ellen echoed, "What? Sam I spoke to her not that long ago. She's fine."

"No! No she's not. Something isn't right. Ellen, I'm serious."

"Ma'am you need to come with me," The officer called again. "I'm under direct orders."

"I'm kind of in the middle of something here!" Ellen shot back over her shoulder. "You'll have to tell the commander I can't make it!"

When she looked back at Sam his eyes were wide.

"We have to get to Kara, Ellen! Now. Right now. Something's wrong!"

"Sam, you keep saying that! Now do you mean Katya or not!?"

"No…I mean… Yes! "

"Sam, we just talked about this. You promised."

"This is different, Ellen. We need to get over to the other station!"

"You're not leaving here, Sam." Ellen announced.

"Ellen, get me off this frakking station! I need to get to her!"

"You don't even know who you're frakking after, Sam! Now calm down!"

"Ma'am?" The marine guard called, worried about the escalated nature of Sam's behavior.

"Mrs. Tigh, I'm under strict orders not to return without you," The officer added over the chaos.

Ellen's head was spinning.

"Sam, go with these guards and wait for me in the infirmary. I'll be right there. Just don't cause any trouble."

"No, Ellen. There isn't any time. This can't wait," He said making his way toward the hatch.

"Sam!"

"C'mon, Ellen," He called gesturing for her to follow but when he got to the exit a large marine was blocking his way out. "You want to move out of my way, buddy?"

"No. I don't," The marine answered, "And I'm not your buddy."

"I'm sorry, Corporal. We have an emergency so if you'll just move out of the way…"

The marine stood tall in defiance and Sam's worried face turned into one of amusement.

"Sam, don't you dare!" Ellen called recognizing the look on his face but it was too late. She saw him wind up and before she could shout out again he'd punch the guard right in the jaw, "Sam!"

The other guards swarmed and tackled him to the ground and Ellen looked on in horrific disappointment.

"Ma'am," The escort officer said again over the scuffle taking place by their feet. "These gentlemen will take it from here. You really do need to come with me."

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR A

Alpha Civilian Medical Center

Women's Ward

Room: W32

YEAR: 2315

They were in a private room and they were glad of that. Tawny had told them it would be like that; a sterile closed environment. All of the rooms were private in the civilian medical center. They weren't used to such comfortable surroundings, not that they could really take them in at the moment.

"What's that doctor's name?" Alexi asked from where he sat by Katya's side.

"Huh?"

She was in bed, doubled over in pain with her face in her palms. She'd hardly registered what he'd even asked.

"The doctor, the specialist. I forgot her name."

They'd been comforted by the woman's calm and professional demeanor when Tawny first introduced her. Dr. Diaz was soft spoken, in her late fifties and plainly pretty. She was soothing as she answered their frantic and anxious questions with quiet and honest answers. With Tawny by her side they knew that they couldn't ask for much better care. They'd just been too unnerved to recall what her name was.

"I dunno, Alexi," Katya murmured into her quivering palms.

The sound of his voice was grating on her nerves and every time he spoke she considered shoving her fist in his mouth despite the loving concern that was coming out of it.

"She told us twice. I can't remember. I feel like we should know her name."

"Fuck it, Alexi! Who cares!? Zatknis!"

Alexi frowned but couldn't take any offence to her outburst.

"Let me get Tawny in here to give you something for the pain. She keeps offering and you keep refusing."

"No! No, Alexi. No more chemicals!"

He sighed at her refusal.

"You're obviously suffering."

"I'm not letting her inject any unnecessary garbage into my body. Whatever she gave me before is giving me a roaring headache on top of everything else. I'm ready to pull this IV out."

"You need that stuff, Kat. She told you that could be a side effect. The doctor said that's what's gunna make this all work. Leave it. Maybe you should reconsider. Whatever she gives you for the pain could help your head too."

"I said no."

"Alright, myshka," He relented and leaned back in his chair.

"Besides, I deserve to suffer," Katya said between halted breaths. "I'm sure it's nothing compared to what Slip felt today."

She shook her head in utter disgust.

"Katya, stop that," Alexi warned. "I know you're upset but now isn't the time."

She didn't answer. She just put her head back down in her hands and cringed through it. After a few moments the pain began to fade again.

"I told Laura that I would check on her later," Katya said after she regained some composure. "She's going to think I stood her up."

"Katya, that's what you're worried about right now?"

He couldn't believe where her head was.

"Alexi…I want to send her a message. I can hardly see straight. Will you do it for me?" She asked, holding out her wrist for him.

"Katya, she'll get over it."

"Just help me!"

Alexi took hold of her cuffed wrist with a huff.

"Fine. What do you want me to say?"

"Just tell her that I got held up, that I'm sorry and that I'll make it up to her later this week."

Alexi shook his head as he swiped to open a new message.

"Then send one to Ellen saying that I love her," Katya added.

"Oh no," He protested. "She's off station, thank goodness. Just leave well enough alone, Katya," He warned.

Katya snatched her wrist back.

"I'll do it myself! You're a big help, really. Thanks a lot, Alexi," She caustically chastised as she went to work typing her own messages.
Alexi sighed.
Tawny had told him to be patient with Katya but his nerves were getting the best of him.

"Katya, I'm sorry. I just feel like you shouldn't be focused on anything else right now. Those two women invade every part of our lives lately. For right now can't you just concentrate on us?"

Katya just shook her head at him. He didn't understand what he was asking. How could she not think of her mothers right now? She refused to answer him and when she was done sending the second message she let herself fall back onto her pillows with an exasperated sigh.

"Why is it so damn hot in here?" She groaned, kicking down the thin sheet that covered her legs.

Alexi bit his tongue. It was freezing in the ward. He wished that he had brought a sweatshirt.

"I'll turn the air down," He said dutifully getting out of his chair. All he could do was try and make her comfortable. He could tell he wasn't doing a very good job. When he finally found the conditioning panel on the wall it was locked. "Huh, the room is temperature controlled. Guess civvies can't be trusted with a thermostat."

"Why am I not surprised?" Katya huffed.

Alexi made his way to the counter where there was a small sink. He found a clean compress, turned on the cool water and ran it under the faucet. When he returned to her side she was bent over in bed again. She hadn't been able find comfort in any position since she'd arrived and he felt awful for her. He gently moved her hair from the back of her neck and put the cold compress on her flushed heated skin. She sat up, silently giving him better access.

"Is that better?" He asked as he moved the cool rag to the sides of her neck and then down the front of her ward gown to the top of her rapidly rising and falling chest.

"Thank you," Katya said softly.

She seemed to relax a bit and leaned back onto her pillows with a deep breath that she let out as a little whimper. Alexi took the compress and draped it over the pulse point on her neck. He took her hand and kissed it before taking his seat again.

"Tawny says this is the worst part. It's almost over, myshka."

She shook her head and bit her bottom lip hard enough to leave a mark.

"It's not almost over, Alexi…Everything is just about to start."

"You know what I mean, Yekaterina"

Alexi reached over and took the compress, already warm to the touch from the heat of her skin. He put it to the side, knowing it wasn't doing much good any longer. He lifted her hand and blew a cool stream of air across her wrist. At his loving gesture her eyes welled and spilled down the sides of her flushed cheeks.

"I'm so sorry, Alexi," She cried.

"Zachem, Katyy?"

"That this has to be so hard. I'm sorry that I couldn't do any better. I'm sorry that I screwed everything up from the start. I should have known. I should have realized sooner."

"Stop it, Katya. There's nothing to be sorry for. Don't apologize to me. And don't do this to yourself. Not now. It's going to be okay."

"You don't know that."

"We'll know soon."

"I feel so guilty. I don't know if I can take disappointing you like this."

"You could never disappoint me. You don't know how proud I am of you. Whatever happens that won't change."

"You say that now."

"And I'll mean it later."

Alexi couldn't tell if it was the result of another wave of pain or of how upset she'd made herself but she was breathing heavily again. He took the compress that he'd set aside and made his way to the sink once again to wet it with cool water. When he returned to her side he put it to her forehead. When she doubled over into her lap again he tried dabbing at the back of her neck. She whimpered softly to herself and he could tell that she was holding back her cries.

"I love you, myshka. You can handle this. I know it," He attempted as she turned to one side and then the other.

When she sat up again he tried to run the damp compress down her spine. As he did she suddenly stilled under his hands. Her writhing ceased and her heavy breathing halted. For an instant Alexi thought that it had worked to calm her.

"Katyy?"

Without warning her hand shot up gripping his wrist tight and pulling it down against the mattress with a force.

"Katya, what's wrong?"

"Go get Tawny…Now!"

LOCATION: DELTA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY VISITOR'S QUARTERS

CABIN 201B: ASSIGNMENT; TIGH

YEAR: 2315

"So Anders is in the brig, eh?" Saul's voice came through Ellen's cabin tablet as she lay exhausted on her bed.

As Sam fought with his guards on the floor of the observation deck she'd been dragged away to a conference call with Kaplan. She and Margot had been given an earful by the man and she'd spent most of her energy trying to explain their position. After leaving the commander's office she'd spent the rest of the night trying to calm Anders down behind bars with what little strength she had left. By the time she'd dragged herself to her visitor's quarters she was ready to flop. As she washed up in the head and changed into a nighty she truly thought that she might pass out standing up. She was so grateful to finally collapse onto the civilian style bed.

"For tonight he is," She answered with a stretch of her arms over her head. She felt her bones popping into place and it hurt and felt good at the same time. "I'll see what I can do about getting him out first thing in the morning. I'm too drained to move right now. He's not listening anyway."

Saul hated how truly worn-out Ellen sounded. He'd been in on Kaplan's conference call when she and Margot were chewed out for the better part of an hour as they tried to defend themselves.

"Maybe you should leave him in there a while. Let him think about all the trouble he's causing," He suggested.

Ellen groaned into the back of her hand.

"He had just finished apologizing, Saul. That's the crazy thing. Moments before it happened he was promising me that he would try and calm down and help. Then he just snapped."

"Over Kara?"

"Katya, Kara, Katya, Kara! Who knows? He's out of his mind, Saul. It's like he can't keep the two straight in his head. I don't know if it's just a glitch or what. He keeps telling me that Kara was with him on the other side but he lost her, whatever that means. Today when he flipped he was saying that something was wrong with her or Katya…whoever he was talking about. I don't know. You're sure Kat's okay, right Saul?" She asked, turning toward where the tablet sat on the pillow beside her.

She'd put it there so it would be like he was next to her in bed. They hadn't slept in the same rack in days.

"She's shaken as you can imagine. Kaplan gave her and Alexi some leave; a few days R & R on the civvie side. I haven't spoken to her since she was dismissed from the control room but Blaze said she and Lex already headed down there. I guess it's a good idea. She went through a lot today. The signal hit and even after that she picked herself up and came back to work. She couldn't catch a break. Hours later she lost a fellow pilot, a friend and she thinks it's all her fault."

"It's my fault," Ellen moaned. "She's probably furious at me."

"Look, Ellen, I don't blame Kaplan for being angry at you and Margot. Hell I'm mad as frak that you didn't tell me about your suspicions but I understand your reasoning for keeping it a secret. You're right; if rumors had started about the general population being at risk then it would have caused mass panic and chaos throughout the system. I just wish you'd have come to me."

For now the new intel was still a classified military secret. Though Kaplan had been angry about the omission of information he knew that Ellen was right about what would happen if it got out.

"We were trying to fix it before it got to that."

"You and Margot can't just fix the world's problems on your own."

"I know that, Saul," She said rolling her eyes.

They couldn't do it on their own but they'd been doing a damn good job trying.

"How is Margot?" Saul asked, "Kaplan got after her pretty good, poor kid."

"She was upset. She didn't need that berating on top of everything else she's going though. It was her theory. She realized it first back on the basestar. I was the one who convinced her to keep it between us for the time being. I tried to talk to her after we left Thibodaux's quarters. She knows we need to start figuring this out but I didn't want to push it tonight. She got a message while we were talking and she rushed off, said she had to go. I'm sure she was probably just ready to get away from me. I feel just awful, Saul," Ellen cried. "Katya, is a mess over something I could have warned you all about, Margot's being ignored by Sam and stalked by D'Anna. I've been so busy that I haven't even been able to check in with the boys in days. Everything's going wrong. I wanted to do better for these kids, Saul."

"You've done more than fine with all of them, especially our kit. She's upset now but it isn't at you and you know how she wants you to come home. She can't stand it when you're far away," He tried to reassure her.

"I know but I can't leave Sam here with the way he's acting. I need to be with him."

Saul huffed on his end of the line.

"Come home and let me take a few days on Delta," He offered. "Maybe I can have some sense beat into him."

"No, Saul. If he won't listen to me what makes you think that he's going to listen to you?"

"I don't know, Ellen. It'll at least give you some time to regroup, a few nights in your own bed, dinner with the kids."

"But then you'll be away. No, Saul I just need to figure things out here. I'll come home in a day or so to visit, though. I hate being separated from Kat just as much as she does…though I doubt she'll want to even talk to me."

"C'mon,Ellen," He groaned.

"Unless…"

"Unless what?

"Well I need Sam by me but I can't take him to Alpha because then three of them would be on the same station together."

"What's your point?"

"Um, well, Saul, I've been thinking. Maybe I could bring Anders home to Alpha if Bill and Laura moved to Gamma station."

"What?" Saul spit.

"Just hear me out. It would solve a lot of our problems. The EOC doesn't want us to have more than two of them to a station for more than a few days at a time. We had to force them to allow it during the downloads but we can't just keep doing that. Besides, the safety precautions do make sense."

"Ellen, are you kidding me with this? They aren't moving."

"No I'm not kidding at all. I mean think about it. Anders could come back to Alpha where I could keep an eye on him and still get to be home with all of you. We can't send Bill and Laura here to Delta or to Beta Station without breaking the limit of two per station so Gamma is our best choice."

"Ellen, I am not sending Bill and Laura anywhere."

"Well, maybe they'd go willingly if they understood the situation. Gamma's our safest station. You could sell them on that. Ever since the bodies there were eliminated the bots hardly bother it."

"Bill just started serving on Alpha," Saul argued.

"I'm sure Cmdr. Romanov would be able to find a place for him on Gamma Station."

"Ellen no! They're just starting to get comfortable here. You want me to take that away from them? Make them start over? Take them away from their daughter who they only just met?"

"Oh, Katya hardly talks to them," Ellen quickly snapped in response.

She winced when she heard the words come out of her mouth as she realized how they sounded.

"And she'd talk to them even less if they lived a quadrant away, is that it?" Her husband accused.

"I didn't say that, Saul."

"You didn't have to."

"That's not what I meant," She lied. It wasn't the reason she'd proposed the move but she had to admit to herself that it was an added perk once she thought of it." Please, Saul, it was just a suggestion, just a solution to make our lives easier for a while. It could be temporary. Til' Sam adjusts. Is there really any harm in asking them?"

"I guess not but I don't like the idea," He groused.

"Don't you want me home?"

"Of course I do," He defended.

"That's all I want too. I just want to be home with you and to be able to see Katya and Alexi every night when you all get off duty. I just want my family with me. Is that so bad?"

"No. It isn't," He told her with a sigh. "Ellen you're exhausted. Why don't you get some sleep? We'll talk about this tomorrow."

"Yeah, after I spring Anders from…" Ellen was interrupted by the vibration on her cuff and she looked down to see that she had a new awaiting message.

"What is it, Ellen? What's wrong?"

She couldn't answer him right away. The message was from Katya. It was simple, just three little words but they immediately made her get choked up.

"Ellen?"

"Sorry," She sniffed back some tears. "Kit just sent me a message.

"What'd she say?"

"She said that…she loves me," Ellen smiled through her emotion.

She was so happy to hear from her. They'd only spoken once all day. It was late in the morning after the episode was over and they were all checking in on each other. She felt awful for all that the girl had been through. Though Saul assured her that Katya was getting the R&R that she needed, and though she knew that her daughter was safe by Alexi's overprotective side, there was just something about hearing from her directly that made all the difference. She would sleep so much better tonight.

"See? Does that sound like she's mad at you?"

Ellen took in a shaky breath.

"I want to come home. I miss her. I miss you."

"We'll figure it out, Ellen. I love you too, ya' know."

"I love you back."

"Have I ever told you how glad I am that I married you?"

"Not once."

"Then I'll save it for a special occasion."

"I'll be looking forward to it, soldier."

"Goodnight, Ellen."

Before Ellen let her utter exhaustion take over she quickly wrote a few words to her daughter in return. With a quick 'I love you more' sent off to Katya's cuff she was able to close her eyes and finally get some rest.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR A

Alpha Civilian Medical Center

Women's Ward

Room: W32

"I'm so proud of you myshka. You did so well," Alexi said, still a little stunned by everything he'd just witnessed.

"Why is Tawny taking so long?"

"I don't know," He sighed. "Can I get you anything?"

"No."

Katya was totally drained but she could already feel herself getting better. She almost felt guilty for it. Her body would be back to some semblance of normality soon. She wouldn't have to worry about getting sick in front of anyone; she wouldn't have to miss shifts. She wished that she could be relieved about it all but they were still waiting.

"Whatever she says when she comes back, we'll get through it," Alexi assured her.

She couldn't bring herself to even nod in response.

"Blaze is worried," Alexi told her with a look to his cuff. "He wants to come visit."

"Not yet, Alexi. I can't. I'm so tired. Tomorrow. But please...tell him thank you for me."

"I already did."

Blaze had rushed her to Med Ward earlier as if he had wings on his feet. She didn't know how he'd managed to get her there on foot so quickly but even in the pain that she was in it felt like only a blink before they'd arrived. He hadn't wanted to leave her side but Tawny insisted that he go do some damage control. When Katya agreed he'd taken off to alert Alexi and pacify the rest. When he returned to the control room he told the Colonel that he'd brought Katya to her cabin. He said that she'd gone to bed still upset but settling down. Tigh seemed to buy it and when Kaplan got Tawny's alert on his cuff he did the rest of the work to cover. The commander told Saul that due to the circumstances he'd given Katya and Alexi a forty-eight hour leave pass for some R & R on the civilian side of the ship. Though Saul wished he'd seen Katya before she left he agreed that the leave was probably a good idea.

Katya lifted her wrist to check on how long Tawny had been out of the room. When she did she found a missed message from Ellen responding to her earlier 'I love you'. She still couldn't believe that things had gotten this far without Ellen knowing. She felt awful for leaving her in the dark. She wished things could have been different. She wished that she could have felt comfortable having Ellen by her side through it all but she was trying to do what she thought was best for everyone.

"What do you think Ellen will say?" Katya asked after a while.

Alexi sighed in consideration.

"I think she's going to be extremely angry that we kept this from her but…"

"Hey," Tawny said as she walked through the door. They both sat up when she entered. The lightness in her voice immediately made them both feel some measure of comfort but they were still totally on edge. "How are you feeling, Kat?"

"Tired. Fine. So?"

"You did amazing, sweetie. It all went as well as we could have hoped and so far everything seems to be okay."

"Really?" Katya asked in near disbelief.

It wasn't the answer they'd been expecting.

"Yes. The next twenty-four hours are crucial. If we can get passed them then we can take a big sigh of relief," Tawny explained.

Katya's tears fell again at her friend's words. Alexi rose to give her a kiss on the temple and hugged her close. They never thought that they would even get this far.

"There's just a few things that I didn't really foresee," Tawny spoke again with a bit of apology to her voice and they both looked up at her. "Some of the tests we need to do, we can't conduct them now. It's not safe."

"So when?" Katya asked.

"Ideally, to eliminate as much risk as possible, a couple of weeks?"

"What?"

"Eto piz`dets," Alexi swore under his breath.

"Look, I know that this is not what you two wanted to hear. I wish that I could tell you that everything was just fine but I can't. Dr. Diaz is making this call. She'll explain it to you better than I can. She'll be back in soon. She's still getting things squared away in the lab. I can tell you that the tests that we can run at this point are being done now. We'll know the results of those in a few hours but there are some crucial ones that just can't be performed yet."

"So we really won't know for weeks?" Alexi said in disbelief.

Katya shook her head.

"I can't tell my family that. I'm not going to them with this when I don't have any more answers than I did yesterday. What the hell am I supposed to say?"

"Kat, they can help you two through this," Tawny countered.

"No. I want to know for sure. I'm not putting this on anyone else!"

"So we're going to keep lying?" Alexi scowled.

Tawny huffed and let her arms fall to her sides. She wouldn't try to convince Katya now. Everything was brand new. She was exhausted and overwhelmed. She might feel differently in the morning.

"At least you'll be back to your old self…more or less," She suggested. "Maybe they'll stop asking what's up. A lot of the suspicion might fade."

Alexi took a step back from the bed and looked at his wife.

"No. No way, Kat. This is wrong!"

He couldn't believe what she was asking him to do. Everyone they considered family had been told except the people who they called their parents. The Xaos, Kaplan, Margot, and Blaze were all in the know and yet Saul and Ellen were being left in the dark. He understood how busy they both were. He knew that Ellen was totally distracted with Sam Anders and that it would just add to her stress but even so, he couldn't take keeping it from her. They owed the Tighs everything and in return they were lying to them.

"Alexi, I'm not going to my family without answers!" Katya went back at him.

"You two both calm down!" Tawny interjected, "I mean it. That isn't what you need to focus on now. Let's get past the next twenty-four hours before you even start making any decisions. Things are stable but we aren't out of the woods yet. You're getting ahead of yourselves. Your asses are covered for now. Katya, you need to recover and relax. Dr. Diaz is going to run those tests just as soon as she feels that it's safe. For now you both should take a breath. We got through this much and it was no small feat. I'm happy for you. I hope that I can tell you that again in a couple of weeks. Let's just focus on tonight. We still have that to get through."

They both seemed to take her words into consideration and at least for the moment they settled down.

"Thanks, Tawny," Alexi told her, "For everything you've done so far. If we didn't have you…"

"Anything for family," She smiled. "My dad is going to come check on you in the morning, Kat. I just spoke to him. He sends his love and well wishes. In a day or so he'll take you to my aunt."

Xao's sister had her own practice on the civilian side of the ship. Her methods were all ancient practices from the old Eastern Republic sector. Xao often referred patients to her when his conventional methods needed some assistance. Katya had been to see Lian Xao many times before. When she was little she'd thought that her medicine tasted worse than anything she ever got in the infirmary but her office was so much less intimidating than Med Ward. There was always soft music playing, E-Rep style rugs and lanterns decorating the walls and the small woman always wore a kind and friendly smile.

"She has a tea for you. It should help move things along and ease the discomfort," Tawny explained. "She and the staff in the lab will come up with a regimen for you. I want you both to know that just because Dr. Diaz is taking over from this point, my involvement won't end. I'll be down here as much as I possibly can. You two still have training over on this side don't you?"

"Yes," Alexi answered.

"That will give you a good enough excuse for the extra visits down here."

"More lies," He muttered.

"You two can talk about that later," Tawny warned again. "For now; Katya, you need to rest and Alexi I need you to come with me."

"Me? Why?"

"There are official documents that need to be filled out."

"Now?"

"Yes, now. It's Orbit Law. We need them done ASAP. It's important so that we can keep track of everything. I need your cuff scanned and you'll need to provide all the important information."

"Can't I do it here?"

"No. It needs to be done in the lab by the attending medic and Dr. Diaz. It won't take long."

"Can Katya come?"

Tawny chewed on her lip and shook her head.

"I'd rather she didn't. She needs the rest."

"No," Katya piped in with some fear on her face. "No, Alexi. I'm...I'm not ready to go. You go."

"Katya, I don't want to leave you," He grimaced. He was angry at the prospect of her asking him to continue to lie but he wasn't angry at her. They'd been through so much together over the past few hours and didn't want to leave her side. "I don't want to go there without you. Shouldn't we go together?"

"Just go, Alexi. Please? It's important. We've talked about this. You know what to do."

"What about Margot?"Alexi asked, turning to Tawny. "She's on her way."

Margot had gotten Blazer's message after the pummeling she and Ellen had taken over the wireless from Kaplan. She'd somehow gotten away from Ellen and sent in a shuttle request immediately but actually getting assigned to one had taken some time. With the morning's attack and the near breach resulting from Katya's test the entire system was set to condition two. It was almost 2030 by the time she'd taken off from Delta.

"Margot and I can fill our part out later," Tawny confirmed. " Just need you for now, Lex"

"Go, malysh."

"Alright, myshka."

Tawny smiled and moved to guide the anxious man toward the door.

"Ready, Sergeant?"


TRANSLATIONS;

E-Fed

Tetya- Aunt

Zatknis- Shut up

Zachem- What for?

Eto piz`dets – That's fucked up

E –Rep:

Xiè xie –Thank you

Chapter 27: Chapter 27

Summary:

A few things: BSG: Razor is referenced slightly again. If you have not watched this BSG movie and "Lucy" is confusing you feel free to PM me and I will clarify it. I don't want to put it in this author's note in case anyone is planning on watching it and does not want a spoiler. It's not a huge plot point either way. Just expounding on a fan cannon theory.

Chapter Text

 

 

LOCATION: BETA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 161B: ASSIGNMENT; AGATHON

YEAR: 2315

"We should get up, Sharon," Helo said with his voice still heavy with sleep. "If we want to meet him on deck we need to leave soon."

Sharon turned away from him taking the sheets with her. He leaned over to kiss at the back of her bare shoulder. They'd slept in for the first time in weeks and now it was hard to get out of bed.

"I'm up," She answered flatly. "I've been up for a while."

Helo yawned and put his arm around her bringing her body closer to his chest.

"You alright?"

Sharon didn't answer right away. She'd woken at 0500 as usual. Her body was just programmed to do it now after reporting regularly for the last few weeks. Even with nowhere to go for the morning she hadn't been able to fall back to sleep no matter how hard she tried. She lay there for hours beside Helo, her mind reeling.

"I'm fine."

"You don't sound fine, Sharon."

"I was just...thinking about him."

Helo raised his brow.

"Blaze?"

They had plans to spend their first day off in weeks with the lieutenant. He was coming to Beta for the next two days while he took some R&R. They'd arranged it that way after missing his birthday celebration on Alpha Station a week before. He'd turned twenty-two years old and they had missed it. They'd missed yet another birthday, another special time in their son's life. The entire system was still at condition two and that point and there was no way that four of them would be allowed in one spot even just for a night. Gaining permission to fly to Alpha would have meant that arrangements would need to be made for Bill and Laura to leave the station. It was too much of a hassle to expect anyone to go through just so that they could be there for a party. They knew it, accepted it and understood it but Sharon still cried that night. Karl saw how upset it had made her and invited Blaze to come to Beta and celebrate with them as soon as he could manage. The young pilot had been more than happy to accept.

Blazer's twenty-second birthday had started out in Alpha's rec-room. With the recent loss of Slip-Shot the other pilots were looking for any excuse to get obliterated and there were quite a few of them in attendance. Ellen even flew home with Margot for the event. Colonel Tigh had come with Roslin and Adama in tow. Both Xoas made an appearance and Kaplan even made a toast. Only Katya and the Agathons were noticeably and regrettably missing. Blaze drank hard and fast to ease the sting of their obvious absence. He knew that they couldn't help it.

The party moved to Senchi and went on for hours. Alexi offered his couch toward the end of the night and helped Blaze back to the cabin. The sergeant was almost as drunk and they each stumbled into the cabin like a couple of big oafs, kicking off their boots and knocking things over in their wake. With Katya still staying in the civilian ward they had no need to keep quiet. Alexi made it to the bedroom and passed out on the rack missing his wife's company. With a cautionary bucket by the couch Blazer eventually fell to sleep trying to smell Katya's shampoo on the sofa pillows.

Karl had promised Blaze another night of celebration. He was pleased when the young man agreed. He hoped that it would make Sharon feel a little better. Any time they got to spend with Blaze was precious to her. Their relationship was a strange one. They treated one another as friends, colleagues and comrades but there was an underlying understanding of who they were to each other. It went mostly unspoken of but it was recognized, especially by Sharon.

"Yes, about Blaze," She finally answered, though she mumbled it into her pillow, "The others too."

Helo gave her another soft kiss to the neck. Her voice sounded troubled. He didn't like it.

"What about?"

"I just have this strange feeling about the four of them."

"What do you mean?"

Sharon bit her lip and focused on some vague point across the room.

"I just…I can't get them off of my mind," She said as she shrugged in her husband's arms. "Everyone I speak to around here…they know the story. They speak of those kids in terms of their creation. They're regarded as a collective failure, a crime that was a blemish on the project's history. I keep getting told that they should have never been born."

Helo grimaced.

"People say that to you?"

"Not in so many words…but yes," She clarified. "Blaze has even said it to me himself. He says that they each know that they were never supposed to be here."

Helo swallowed hard. It was a pretty grim outlook to have and he understood why it hurt Sharon to hear it. He still couldn't totally view Blaze as his son. He was too much like a brother, like a good buddy, but he knew deep down that the young man was his child and it pained him to know that his son thought of his own life that way.

"That's not easy to hear, Sharon," He admitted.

"I don't believe it."

"You don't believe what?"

Sharon let out a sigh and turned onto her back to stare up at the ceiling.

"I don't believe that they were never supposed to be. I just have this feeling. It's the same feeling I had with Hera. There has to be a purpose for them. There has to be some kind of meaning to the burden that they've each had to carry over their conceptions, over their existence."

Helo leaned up and brushed some of her hair back.

"Sharon, they already have purpose. They all have people who love them. What greater purpose is there?" He posed.

Sharon shook her head.

"I don't think Blaze sees it that way. I don't think any of them do. You saw that girl, Margot, the day Sam and D'Anna resurrected? Well I read her. I felt her anguish that morning…and now I can't get it out of my mind. They all hurt so much just existing. They need a reason for it."

Sharon almost wished she'd never read Margot. Ever since the download she'd been haunted by what she felt when she offered the young woman an aspirin and some support. She realized then that it didn't matter how readily any of them accepted their children. Their children had yet to accept themselves.

"Sharon, maybe that was just Margot. You don't know how Blaze feels."

"I think I do."

There were little things that Blaze would say to her now and then. Things he would tell her that the others said. It all added up once she read Margot.

"Sharon they have purpose," Helo repeated with confidence as he stared down at his wife. "They all serve this system and I can see in each one of them that they're damn proud to do it. The military gives them purpose. You know what that feels like, to be part of something bigger than yourself. They have lots of friends who care about them. It's the people around you who give your life meaning," He insisted but he frowned when Sharon closed her eyes. She wasn't buying it. "You know, Sharon…when we first came back I was so angry and so confused but more than anything else I was so frakking disappointed." Helo pinched the bridge of his nose and winced before going on. "We woke up to Ellen and Saul telling us that we'd created an entirely new race of people, you and I, all from the love we shared. It was almost too much to comprehend and then in the next breath they were telling us that the race had failed, just like the others. Just like Colonials and just like Cylon and I wondered why it was even worth saving. Why bring us back to save the descendants of a people who just can't get it right? Then the Old Man, he said something to me that I've been thinking about a lot. He told me that the way he saw it; if people, human or cylon alike weren't worth saving then we would have been gone long ago. No one would have fought the way we did and the way others did before us if it wasn't worth it. He said that we've all felt the joys and sorrows of people on an individual level and that those very interactions were all that really made life worth living. He said maybe that's what makes it worth saving too; not what we do as a collective entity but what we share with each other. These kids live life every day like anyone else. They're good people, all four of them, dutiful soldiers. In our old life you and Hera were the most important parts of my life and now what matters most…well it's you and Blaze now. That's all that's giving this new life of mine meaning. They have purpose, Sharon. Katya and Alexi they have each other and soon Blaze and Margot might find their own partners and maybe even start families. They'll find even more of a place in the world. Maybe you're right. Maybe they all feel a little lost right now but, Sharon, they're all so young."

She lowered her brow and sighed.

"Did you know that they can't?"

"Can't what?"

"You said that they might start families of their own. Blaze says that it isn't likely. He says that because he was conceived from two cloned bodies that he's more or less incapable."

Helo bit his tongue and rubbed at his forehead.

"Well we didn't think that we would conceive and we did. You don't know their future. The science here seems pretty advanced and besides, family isn't always blood, Sharon. You know that," He attempted but he knew that she heard the unsteady tone to his voice. She turned on her side away from him again. "Sharon you can't impose what you felt about Hera on Blaze, or the others," He told her in a firmer tone. "You don't have to convince yourself that they have some kind of divine higher purpose to make yourself feel better about the crude way they got here. What you have to do is accept it and hopefully they will one day too." Helo winced when he finished. He wondered if he'd gone too far when she didn't answer right away. "Sharon?"

He heard her take in a sharp breath in before she spoke.

"They just want a reason to not be seen as a mistake."

Helo could hear the strain in her voice and he reached out to rub soothingly at her back. They couldn't talk about this anymore. Not now. She was upsetting herself and they were going to be late.

"Sharon we should get up. We need to meet him in less than an hour."

"I know they're here for a reason," She whispered.

He leaned back down and put his nose behind her ear.

"So what is it?"

"I have no idea."

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 126B: ASSIGNMENT; ROSLIN/ADAMA

YEAR: 2315

Laura was excited; something she didn't think she'd felt since her last lifetime. She'd anticipated the downloads of the others but it wasn't as if she'd really been eager for them. She supposed she was eager for Bill to come home at night but even that she still had to truthfully call impatience. Today she was honestly enthusiastic to start her new job. Bill had Orbit Patrol and she'd been left feeling like she had nothing to contribute. Back on Delta Station during the Unity Day ball she'd danced with a surprisingly friendly and spry version of Sergeant Petrov. He had been fully under the influence at the time but he'd been sweet, polite and quite the good dancer. Laura blushed when he told her that he was happy to see that his wife would only become more beautiful in the years to come. It wasn't as if she couldn't take a compliment. It had just been so out of character for the young man. She'd never even seen him smile before, stoic as he was, and that night as they danced he wore a grin that looked just like his mother's; wide and a little sly. At one point during their drunken steps he'd mentioned his work with the Earth Orbit Education System. Laura supposed that he'd brought it up because he knew that she'd once been a teacher. Besides Katya what more did they have in common? Nothing pleasant, at least and so they'd talked about his tutoring. A light had gone off in her mind at that point. She'd asked Alexi what he thought he might be able to do about getting her a position. If Bill could work while they tried to figure out their true purpose then so could she. Alexi had forgotten all about it following the rest of their chaotic experience on Delta but Laura hadn't been shy about reminding him during the shifts he sometimes took standing guard in front of her cabin's hatch. She found herself standing in the hallway enduring Vladi's curious red stares on more than a few occasions as she tried to convince the Sergeant to help her. Alexi had seemed strangely distracted over the last few weeks; totally forgetting or coming up with a dozen excuses as to why he didn't have the time but eventually he'd given in. It took a while. The entire notion was put aside once more when she'd gone to Med Ward with her head injury and while Alexi and Katya had retreated to the civilian side of the station for some R & R but now, over a week later, Laura finally had her first student coming.

Laura understood that Alexi was wary of her teaching the station's children. So was she. So much was different there. She didn't know the history of the world she was in. She didn't know it's science. Alexi suggested that while she studied on her own she could start teaching the younger students; the first and second year children who were just starting out with the basics. He decided that she should begin with mathematics since the basic concepts were universal. Laura was comfortable with that. He'd arranged for her to start work in one of the learning labs soon but first he wanted her to try some private tutoring, just to get her feet wet again. She'd agreed and now she was anxious to get started. She was ready to stop feeling useless. No matter how much her mind was distracted with dreams and visions and her new tumultuous relationship there was still part of her that wanted something more tactile. She'd never been the kind of person who could just sit back and do nothing. The children of the system were the very people they were all fighting for; the future of what was now called human kind. If she could help them then she'd be doing just as much of a service to the people as Bill was.

She'd had hundreds of students back on Caprica. Teaching was what Laura truly loved. She'd never had a problem speaking in front of a class full of children but today she almost found herself nervous. It had been so long since she'd even attempted it. She wondered if she still had it in her.

She actually jumped at the sound of knocking at the hatch. She composed herself and went to answer but was met with yet another surprise behind the door.

"Katya," She greeted.

She hadn't seen the captain since the day they were in the ward walking upon the projected shoreline. Katya had even been noticeably absent during Lt. Bishop's birthday celebration. Now she stood in the doorway with a little girl in her arms. The child was clinging on to Katya; legs wrapped around her waist and head buried in her neck. Katya's attentions were on the centurion guarding the hatch and Laura could tell immediately that some kind of silent communication had been going on between them.

"Hey, Laura," Katya smiled, halting her interactions with Vladi. "I'm here to bring by your new student," She announced as she hiked the child up on her hip.

Laura opened and closed her mouth before she could answer.

"I didn't know you'd be coming."

Katya gave her as much of a shrug as she could with the girl in her arms.

"I'm not staying. I'm just doing her parents a favor."

The truth to her statement was marginal. When Alexi mentioned that their friend's child would be Laura's first student Katya insisted on being the one to bring her over. She hadn't seen Laura in well over a week. She hadn't had time to even consider it. Since returning from the civilian sector Katya had been splitting her time among her usual duties, facilitating re-training, and returning back to the civilian ward's lab as often as she could. She was spread pretty thin. Alexi was doing the same and to help Tawny tried to make it over to the civilian labs when they couldn't. To subdue suspicion Katya attempted to make it to dinner with Saul and Alexi every night that she could manage but besides that she had little room to socialize. She sometimes saw Bill during briefings or shifts in the control room but bringing the child to Laura was the first excuse she'd found to check up on her birthmother.

Katya had a friendly relationship with the little girl she held. She'd known her since she was born. She was sweet but very shy. Despite the escort being somewhat of an excuse Katya thought it would make both the child and Laura more comfortable if they were introduced by a mutual acquaintance.

"Her parents are friends of ours," Katya explained. "Her mother used to be Alexi's drill sergeant and her Dad and I went through basic together. Anyway, her mom will pick her up when the hour is over."

Laura looked at the child and then back at Katya with an almost panicked expression.

"What?" Katya asked with a scowl. "What's the problem?"

Laura took in the sight of the child in Katya's arms. It was sweet to see but she couldn't help the anxiety that it gave her. It was like watching her biggest insecurity holding on to a little bundle of her doubts.

"She's just so…tiny. I thought that Alexi said that I would be getting first and second year students. She can't be more than three years old."

Laura had been expecting a child of at least five or six. Katya was holding on to a toddler. She was just a baby.

"She is a first year student," Katya confirmed. "Parents here decide when their children are ready to start their in-system studies. It's up to them and Li-Ming's parents feel that she's ready. I know her. She's a smart girl."

"I'm sure that she is…I just…" Laura furrowed her brow and looked at where the child's face was hidden in the crux of Katya's neck. "Is she even awake?"

"Yes, she's awake," Katya defended. "She's just shy around new people. Li-Li, quit being a baby. Be a big girl and say hello to Ms. Roslin."

With some encouragement the girl slowly lifted her head up but she would only face Katya.

"C'mon, Li. I told you that you were going to get a new teacher. This is Ms. Roslin, the lady I was telling you about. She's very nice. Be polite."

The girl nodded and turned her head toward Laura.

"Hi," She greeted softly, her cheeks turning rosy pink.

"Laura, this is Li-Ming Swon," Katya announced.

"It's very nice to meet you," Laura greeted with a smile but at the sound of her voice the little girl put her head right back down into Katya's shoulder.

Laura frowned.

"She warms up quick," Katya assured. She saw the fear in Laura's eyes and decided that she wouldn't indulge the woman's misgivings for a second. She didn't want to give them any validity. She had no doubt that Laura could handle the girl. "She'll be better once I'm gone."

Laura looked unconvinced.

"Are you sure, Katya? Maybe she's not ready."

"Look, we aren't sticking you with a babysitting job if that's what you think. She can take herself to the bathroom…I think," Katya paused. "You can, can't you, Li?" She asked, making sure. The little girl nodded emphatically into her neck. "See? She's ready to learn."

"I guess…"

"Her tablet is in her backpack," Katya explained, cutting off Laura's hesitant words. "Everything you need can be accessed on there or you can pull it all up on your own cabin tablet with the codes that Alexi sent you. She's too young to wear a cuff but she knows her station number by heart."

Laura shook her head.

"Katya, maybe it would be best if you stayed, just for a few minutes."

"Sorry. I can't. I have to get going. You wanted a job, Laura. Here's your job," Katya said as she nearly shoved the little girl into Laura's arms.

"Katya, I…"

Laura was surprised when the unexpected transfer went rather smoothly. The child didn't even protest.

Li-Ming wrapped her legs around Laura's waist and put her chubby little arms around her neck just as she'd done with Katya. She kept her head up this time and she even had a little smile on her face as Laura leaned back to take a look at her.

Laura couldn't remember the last time that she'd held a child so small. She didn't remember it ever feeling so good. The little girl smelled like strawberries and her skin was baby soft. A smile grew on Laura's face in spite of her apprehension.

"See? She likes you," Katya teased. "You're a pro. You'll do fine," She insisted. "Li-Li you be good and study."

Katya went to turn to leave but Laura stopped her.

"Wait, wait, Katya. Where are you headed? I haven't seen you in over a week"

Katya doubled back and leaned against the frame of the hatch.

"I know. I'm sorry. I still owe you the rest of that talk. I didn't forget. I've just been…busy."

"Are they…Are they any better?" Laura tested referencing Katya's nightmares.

Katya took a long breath in and then slowly shook her head as she let it out.

"No…You?"

"No," Laura admitted in turn. She held the toddler a little tighter when she saw the solemn look on her daughter's face."I'm very sorry about the loss of your pilot, Katya. I didn't get a chance to tell you."

Katya's cheeks went hot. Slip's memorial was coming up. She still felt like she didn't even deserve to go. She nodded in acceptance of Laura's condolences just to get past the topic.

"Anyway," She shrugged. "I have someplace to be. I'm already late and you're on the clock, Ms. Roslin."

Laura smiled and reluctantly nodded.

"You look well, Katya."

"Thanks I feel good," She said honestly for the first time in weeks. "And you look a lot better too. I can hardly see the cut anymore. We'll talk soon." She promised, yet again.

Laura nodded in agreement without even asking for a time or place. She was quickly becoming distracted by the feeling of the sweet shy child in her arms. She was trying to picture what Katya looked like at Li-Ming's age. The Tighs had Mikhail Isakoff's files saved within their own family albums and Laura was getting good at conjuring up a mental picture of her daughter at any stage of life. She could almost imagine holding Katya if she focused hard enough.

Katya smiled when she saw Laura start to playfully bounce the toddler on her hip a bit. She felt better about leaving them both.

"Well, class is in session, Laura and I'm ditching," She teased.

She turned to Vladi who was waiting in place. She leaned up and ran the pads of her fingers over his chest plate. It caught Laura's attention and she looked up from Li-Ming to watch Katya gently touching the looming centurion. She seemed to do that whenever they interacted. She supposed they were continuing whatever she'd interrupted when she'd opened the door.

"I'll find Casey, Vladi. When I do I'll bring it to the lab. I promise."

Laura grimaced when she heard Katya speaking to it. Whatever promise she'd made him Laura could tell that she meant it. She didn't know what kind of promise she could really make to a machine. It was somehow sweet and unnerving at the same time.

"Watch these two for me, Vladi" Katya ribbed. "Make sure they don't get into any trouble."

Laura rolled her eyes letting out a soft chuckle.

Katya smirked and turned to finally leave.

"Bye, Li-Li. Good luck…to both of you," She added with a snort as she took off.

"Bye-bye, Katya," Li-Ming called as she watched the captain start jogging down the hallway.

When Laura waved the girl followed suit and it made her laugh to see the child already mimicking her.

"I wish Katya could stay too," The little one informed Laura. "I like her."

"Me too, Li," Laura smiled. The precious sound of the little voice warmed her from the inside out and seemed to settle her nerves all at once. "We'll do alright, though. Don't you think?"

The child nodded and put her head down on Laura's shoulder. She could do this, she thought. She held the girl tight and kicked the door shut.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 119B: ASSIGNMENT; TIGH

YEAR: 2315

Ellen was busy reading something off of her cuff when Katya let herself in the hatch.

"You're late," She told her from where she sat waiting on the sofa.

"Hardly," Katya contended.

She quickly made her way toward Ellen's spot on the sofa. She leaned down to greet her with a kiss on the cheek before flopping down beside her.

"You know that I don't have a lot of time between shuttles," Ellen chastised.

"I'm here. Are you going to yell at me the whole time?"

They'd been separated for two week now. When Ellen came home for Blazer's birthday Katya was noticeably missing. Alexi covered with the excuse that she still wasn't comfortable celebrating so soon after Slip-Shot's loss. Ellen had bought the justification well enough but she hadn't been able to get back to Alpha since.

Though Katya's attentions were truly needed elsewhere she still felt guilty about missing Ellen's last visit. She felt like there wasn't enough of her to go around anymore.

"Quit nagging me. I thought we were going to spend some time with each other."

Katya leaned back on the arm of the sofa and placed her feet in Ellen's lap. She put her hands behind her head, relaxing until she saw the other woman's eyes scanning her up and down.

"What?"

"Are you wearing a push-up bra?" Ellen smirked.

"No," Katya defended, hooking a thumb into the strap of her station tanks and pulling them up to more modestly cover herself.

Ellen's sly smile said that she didn't believe her in the slightest.

Katya felt her cheeks and ears burning with embarrassment. The effects of Lian Xao's herbal tea had come on quickly.

"I warned you that all those years of ballet were going to stunt your development," Ellen teased for about the hundredth time.

Katya rolled her eyes. If Ellen wanted to believe that she was padding her chest like a twelve year old that was fine with her for now.

"I dunno what the hell you're talking about. Quit staring at me. I thought we were going to watch a movie or something," Katya said self-consciously crossing her arms over herself.

Ellen stayed silent and gave her yet another once-over.

"What now?"

"You look...different," Ellen observed with a tilt of her head.

Katya couldn't do anything but deny it.

"I do not. Maybe you're just forgetting what I look like since you're never home anymore."

Ellen sighed at the truth in her jab but then she reached over and gave Katya a few pokes to her sides.

"Don't tell me that you three have been eating nothing but junk while I'm away," Ellen chided as she poked.

Katya playfully smacked her hand away.

"We eat whatever the mess hall gives us," She maintained. "It's not our fault if it's crap," She added.

Ellen leaned back and shook her head.

"You three are more than capable of ordering in-cabin meals," She reminded. "You're not invalids."

Katya grimaced.

"We won't eat here without you. It's awful. No one talks. Uncle Saul just grunts at everything we say. At least there are other people in the mess."

"Well at least you're eating," Ellen huffed. She actually thought that whatever weight that Katya had managed to put on had her look a lot healthier. She'd spend so much time worrying about the girl's eating habits over the years. She supposed that she should be grateful to see her with some little curves added to her usually lean physique. It was subtle but it was enough to make her consider just how much things could change while she was away. "Just don't let Uncle Saul pack on a gut while I'm gone."

"Stay home and monitor your own husband," Katya snarked.

"Well, I'm home now. So why are you so late?"

Katya shrugged and scowled. She was irritated with Ellen for not letting it go but she was even angrier that ten minutes actually mattered when they only had an hour.

"I was dropping a student off."

"I didn't know you taught today."

"I didn't. I was doing a favor."

"A favor?" Ellen's eyes narrowed and she tilted her head. "Wait a second. Does this have to do with Laura's new little position with the EOES?" She asked with some mocking disdain.

She'd heard about Laura's new venture. Over on Delta she had little say on the matter and little time to focus on it. Saul had approved it, cleared it with Kaplan and given Alexi the go-ahead to arrange something for the former Caprican school teacher. Ellen really hadn't put much thought into it at all. She certainly never thought that Katya would get involved.

"Her first student happened to belong to friends of mine," Katya casually explained. "I brought their little girl over so she would feel more comfortable."

"So who would feel more comfortable?" Ellen tested.

"Huh?"

Katya leaned up on her elbows.

"So who would feel more comfortable?" Ellen repeated, "Laura or the girl?"

"The kid," Katya insisted. "She's shy. I did some friends a favor. What's the difference? I dropped her off and left."

"Couldn't Alexi do it? I heard he's the one who set this brilliant arrangement up."

"He's on the other side of the station. He's busy. And so what? What's the harm in it? Better Laura does something with herself than sit around taking up space while we're all waiting for something or nothing to happen."

Ellen shut her eyes at Katya's last statement. She really didn't need another reminder of the obvious lack of progress being made. They'd already had a few conversations on the topic; late night calls when they were both too tired to make much sense. Katya cried to her asking how they were ever going to get back to the surface. Ellen listened and soothed her as much as she could with only her words but she didn't have an answer. She just assured her that she would figure it out even though she had no idea how.

When Ellen was quiet for a while Katya eased herself back into her lounging position. Maybe she had brought Li-Ming over to make Laura more at ease but she'd done it for the child too. At least that much was true. She wished that she didn't have to defend it either way. Ellen had told her over and over that it didn't matter what kind of relationship she formed with Laura as long as theirs stayed the same. She'd been right to have never believed it.

"I don't know what business she has teaching here," Ellen finally muttered under her breath.

She wasn't letting it go and Katya groaned in frustration.

"If she can't handle it Alexi is going to pull the plug. I don't really care. I was just trying to help. Are we going to talk about this the whole time you're here?"

"You know, she and Bill might be transferred to Gamma Station anyway," Ellen jabbed.

Katya froze for split second. Was that true? When had that happened? How was that fair to Bill and Laura? They'd just started to get used to Alpha. Uncle Saul hadn't mentioned it, neither had Kaplan. She wished that she could ask why but she didn't want to show Ellen that she cared one bit.

"Fine. Whatever. Then she can teach there if she wants. It's not my problem."

Ellen studied Katya further. Whatever traces of animosity that had once seeped into her voice when she spoke of Laura Roslin were gone. No matter how Katya felt toward her birthmother, Ellen could tell that the anger she'd once felt toward her didn't exist anymore. She knew that she should be relieved that Katya wasn't carrying the negativity around on her shoulders any longer. She knew that she should be happy for her but she wasn't.

"How much time have you been spending with her while I've been away?"

"What?"

Katya sat upright and turned, taking her feet off of Ellen's lap and putting them on the floor.

"You heard me," Ellen answered coolly.

Katya stared at her, with her jaw slack. Ellen's question was obviously more of an accusation. It wasn't fair but any anger that had surged within her was swiftly overshadowed by her own guilt and the need that she had to reassure the woman who'd raised her.

"I've hardly seen Laura. The last time I saw her was the day of the last attack. I saw her in Med Ward."

Ellen was quiet for a while as she watched her daughter with suspicious eyes. She was painfully aware that she was doing exactly what she'd been trying so hard not to over the last few months. She'd told herself a thousand times that she wouldn't make Katya feel guilty about getting to know Laura and Bill. When she'd begged her to give Laura a chance it was because she knew that it was only right. It had come from a place of empathy and maternal compassion. Her insistence had been genuine but she'd never been ready for the consequences of it. Now every time that Ellen so much as heard of an interaction between Katya and Laura it took all the will that she could muster not to interfere in some damaging capacity. The inclination was always there. She knew that it was wrong. She was just too tired, too frustrated and too stressed to subdue it at the moment.

Being away from Katya was harder for Ellen than anyone really knew. On Alpha she'd always been able to keep such a careful eye on her. It was rare that she didn't know exactly where her daughter was and who she was with. Saul was right; their codependency went both ways. Now spending so much time on Delta absorbed in Sam's world she was experiencing a new distance from her child, literally and figuratively. It was something she hadn't felt in the fifteen years that she'd raised her. While she knew that the mere element of distance shouldn't have changed anything between them, there was a new element to take into consideration; someone who was there now in her absence.

"You don't say her name the same way anymore," Ellen said wistfully.

Katya shook her head in frustration.

"What's that supposed to mean?" She got up from the sofa and glared down at Ellen. "What the hell are you trying to say? You think I've been hanging out with her? Like what? Like behind your back? I hardly see the woman! And you know what? You'd know it too, if you were ever around anymore," She accused.

Ellen shot up from her place on the sofa to meet Katya where she stood.

"That isn't fair, Katya. You know that I want to be home."

"Come home then!"

"I'm home now!"

"Then shut up about this Laura crap and let's just spend some damn time together before you have run back to that fucking psychopath!"

Katya watched Ellen cringe as if she'd been physically hurt by her words. She didn't know how the tiny window of time they'd both been anticipating all week had turned into this. There was something in between them now that Katya had never felt before. She couldn't place it on Laura's presence or on her own lies where it really belonged. She couldn't make herself take responsibility for something that felt so wrong. She had to blame it on someone else so she blamed it on Sam. It was easy enough to shove the bulk of the fault on to Ellen's new pet project. She'd never had to share Ellen with anyone but Saul before and now that it was happening she didn't like it one bit. At first it had been a strange but almost welcome distraction. Ellen's concerns over her wellbeing had been rapidly growing. She'd started to become overly suspicious that something was being kept from her. She was interrogating everyone; Alexi, Blaze, Margot and even the commander. That all came to a halt after the Delta download. Since Sam's resurrection Ellen asked Katya how she was in passing, over calls, and through messages. Katya had been grateful for the break at first but now she was starting to irrationally resent it. It was as if she was angry at Ellen for not asking about the very thing she was trying so hard to keep from her. She was actually mad that she wasn't prying and butting in as usual. Katya could hardly remember life before Saul and Ellen. She could hardly recall what it was like to live without Ellen's constant overbearing concern. Suddenly having to share her with someone else was stirring up old feelings of abandonment. It didn't help that she was sharing her with someone whose very existence made her head swim and her hair stand up on end. Blaming it all on Sam was no trouble for her at all.

"You're the one who's always gone, "Katya added, continuing to antagonize her. "You're the one who's giving all of your time and energy to that mental case. I'm here. I'm the one who's waiting for you!"

"Katya…I…" Ellen stumbled as she braced for the reaction that she was sure would follow her next words. "I want you to consider coming back to Delta with me."

In an instant she watched Katya's pupils grow in size.

"No fucking way."

"Katya, listen to me," Ellen posed. She'd known all along that she was going to bring this up to Katya when they met today. As long as their visit was hardly going well anyway she figured that she might as well put it out there. "I can get you some leave. Just for a few days. We'd have some more time together."

"Bullshit! You want me to go talk to that lunatic, don't you?" Katya accused.

Ellen swallowed and looked down at her toes.

"Yes."

"I told you not to ask me that again," Katya sapped.

"Why, Kat!?"

"Why? Why? How could you ask me why!?"

Ellen reached for Katya's hand but she snatched it away.

"Sweetie, I know what Sam did at the download scared you but I really don't understand why the mere mention of his name seems to upset you so much. He didn't mean to hurt you. He was confused. You know that."

When Katya's hands instinctively went to cover her ears she quickly forced them back down. Her childish action made her stomach roll. Her persistent juvenile inclinations had become drastically more apparent to her lately. She was realizing just how much she still behaved like a child. Though she recognized how desperately she needed to grow up she found that she didn't really know how else to act.

"It's not about that!" She screeched while rigorously fighting the urge to stomp her foot.

"Then what is it about, Katya? Tell me."

"I just don't want to be near him! I'm not talking to him. You can't make me."

Katya still didn't know what it was about Sam Anders that made her so upset. She could hardly think of his resurrection without feeling like her chest was about to implode. Just remembering the look in his eyes as he held so fiercely onto her arm made her want to break down into tears. She'd been trying to block all thoughts of him from her mind but over the past week he'd started to invade her dreams. Along with her usual spinning horrors were new strange dreams of Sam Anders, ones she pushed away as soon as she awoke. She hadn't told Alexi. She'd hardly admitted that it was happening to herself. She was afraid to. She had too much going on. If she gave even a moment's thought as to why Sam was in her dreams she truly thought she might crack under the pressure of it all and she couldn't afford for that to happen now.

"Katya, I am trying to do all that I can to get back home. I don't know why in the hell he wants to meet you so badly but he does. I really think that he might calm down if you would just give him some time. It would show him that this obsession he's developed has no merit. He'd stop asking and it would make my life a hell of a lot easier."

Ellen was still so confused over Sam's behavior. One moment he was her old friend again, her confidant, her partner and the next he was full of accusations and threats. She never knew how she would find him in the morning, provided he let her sleep through the night. So many nights he'd get into trouble with the guards for one reason or another; picking fights or trying to go off on his own; anything to make her life more difficult.

"What makes you think he won't just fixate on something else?"

"Katya, please?"

"No!"

"Kat, you wouldn't have to go near him. There would be guards. I wouldn't let him touch you. You know that I wouldn't ever put you in harm's way on purpose. I'm so sorry for what happened at the download. I am, baby but for frak sake I don't understand how terrified you got. You've faced a hell of a lot worse than that. Gods, I've seen you do worse to others! I don't get how you're still so shaken."

"I'm not! I'm over it! Just keep him away from me!"

"Katya. I'm asking you to do this for me."

"No. No, Aunt Ellen. I'm sorry. Please, please don't pull that card on me. I can't. I can't see him. Besides, I can't leave Alpha right now."

"Why not?"

"I just can't," Katya shook her head like she was trying to jar an excuse loose. The only way anyone could get her off Alpha right now would be to drag her body out dead. Her responsibilities were there and there only. There was no possible way she was leaving the station at this point for any reason. "I'm busy with re-training and all this new protocol. I can't leave."

"Kaplan would make an exception, I'm sure," Ellen asserted. "Honey, I just want to help Sam so that maybe he can start helping us. What about just a call?"

Katya knew that Ellen wasn't going to stop on her own. She had to make her. Unfortunately she didn't know any other way than to hurt her.

"What is it with this guy, Ellen?" She posed with a sharply raised brow. "What? Do you have some kind of a thing for him or something? What the hell are you doing over there anyway?"

For a split second Ellen felt like the wind was knocked out of her. Katya had never spoken to her with such venom in her voice. She quickly composed herself, took in a short breath and slowly shook her head.

"You must be spending more time with her," She sliced back with a bitter smirk. "You're picking up that snobby judgmental attitude."

Katya's jaw went slack and her eyes instantly watered in anger. She'd regretted her crude accusation until Ellen came back with her own. Unable to speak for a moment, she bowed her head and shrugged. She had to give up on their time together before either of them did anymore damage.

"Thanks for the visit, Aunt Ellen. I'll think of it while I'm in bed at night wishing you were here," She said as she turned to leave.

Ellen found herself grabbing her harshly at the wrist. Dysfunctional as it was she would rather sling insults back and forth than watch Katya walk away from her. She couldn't handle that now. She needed her. She needed to know that she was still hers. She had to make her stay.

"No, no! Katya, stop. Don't go!" She couldn't believe how brutal they'd just been with one another. That behavior had always been reserved for others, not each other. This wasn't them. It felt so wrong. Katya tried to pull her wrist away but Ellen tightened her grip. When Katya turned to face her she forcefully pulled the girl into a tight hug."Baby, please? I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. Don't…don't just leave me like this."

Katya was rigid in the other woman's arms until she heard her voice crack on the last word. Ellen was crying and now Katya wouldn't be able to leave her no matter how angry she was. The sound of her aunt sniffling back some tears finally prompted her to return the forced embrace.

"I'm sorry," She whispered. She was. She didn't want to hurt her. Ellen was the last person who Katya ever wanted to hurt. The harsh defensive tactic that she'd just used had been learned at the woman's knee. Now she was using it against her. The irony wasn't lost. "I didn't mean it either. I'm sorry."

Ellen nodded in acceptance and then pulled Katya down with her as she flopped back onto the sofa.

"Just sit with me for a sec, kitten."

Katya leaned her head onto her shoulder and Ellen's hand went right for her hair. She swirled dark silky strands through her fingers as they both relaxed into the cushions and allowed themselves to settle down.

"I really am sorry, baby," Ellen sniffed. "I shouldn't have acted like that."

Katya shook her head and closed her eyes. She didn't want to think about anything they'd just said.

"Please just stay home? I don't want you to go back. Just stay."

"I want to, kit. I'm working on it. Right now Sam needs me."

"I need you!" Katya answered, her voice starting to rise again.

Ellen shushed her and stroked her hair back like she was a fussy baby. As much as Katya knew she should be annoyed by the pacification, it actually worked to calm her. It always had. Sometimes she wondered if it was because no one had done it for her as an infant. The more Ellen treated her like baby the more she wanted it.

"I know you do, sweetie," Ellen softly told her. "I know you do."

She didn't know. She didn't know at all. For the briefest moment Katya considered confessing everything right there and then. She was sure that Ellen wouldn't leave her side if she only knew the truth but somehow that seemed more selfish than lying to her. Sam really did need her, crazy as he was. More than that they all needed Sam. Katya understood that there was a higher purpose that would always surpass the importance of her own needs.

"I heard he got put in the brig."

"Sam? Yeah. He did. That was over a week ago, though. He's out now."

Katya cringed. She'd barely been able to keep up with what was happening. There was too much in her mind to keep straight. She was being pulled into so many different directions all of a sudden.

"Is he okay?"

Ellen hummed in consideration.

"Yeah, he's alright. He's just…angry. He doesn't want to listen."

"He's so frakking arrogant," Katya said with a sigh.

Ellen nodded and then frowned. He was. He always had been but it was sort of strange to hear Katya say it.

"What makes you say that, kit?"

"Hm?"

"That Sam is arrogant."

Katya squinted. She didn't know why she'd said it. Now that Ellen had repeated it she realized how strange it sounded even to her own ears.

"I dunno…Uncle Saul, I guess?" It was her best assumption. He grumbled enough about Sam at dinner and anytime it was brought up. "He's fed up with him. He wants you to come home too. He misses you. And this place is a gross mess. He's not a good bachelor."

Ellen giggled.

"Well he hasn't lived the single life for a long, long time."

Katya nodded and snuggled further into Ellen's side enjoying the warm contact and the smell of her perfume that she'd missed for days on end. For a while they didn't speak. They just held onto one another. Katya noticed when Ellen started to nod off. She really was totally exhausted by whatever she was dealing with on Delta. Katya wished that their time together didn't have to be spent fighting and napping but as she inhaled the woman's familiar comforting scent deeply into her lungs she told herself that she didn't care as long as they were together.

"Margot put in a request to relocate here," Katya said, testing to see if she was still awake.

Ellen kept her eyes closed and gave another little hum.

"I know she did," She answered sleepily.

Margot had come to her before making the official request. Ellen tried to convince her not to but the young woman wouldn't listen. She could be as arrogant as her birthfather. As nice as Ellen thought it would be to have all four of the kids on Alpha Station she knew that Margot was just running from her problems. She'd tried to persuade her to rethink it but Margot had her eyes set on Alpha. She'd been spending most of her time on the basestar lately trying to figure out anything that might help them combat the signal. Though Ellen knew it was necessary it was also a convenient hiding place for her until she was able to get her transfer approved. The last she'd heard Margot had even cornered Kaplan during Blaze's birthday party to try and convince him to sign off on his end of the approval. There wasn't much more Ellen could do.

"She says D'Anna follows her around," Katya added.

Ellen nodded and yawned.

"She just wants a chance to know her child. I can't blame her, kitten."

Katya sucked in her bottom lip.

"Me, either," She decided.

They sat cozied up together for a while longer enjoying the safety of one another's arms until they eventually heard the hatch open. It was Saul coming to take Ellen to her shuttle. The time they had together, however it had been spent, was over.

"Now that's a site I haven't seen enough of lately; both of my girls together," Saul smiled, letting the sentiment seep into his demeanor in the privacy of his own home.

In the presence of his little family he was a different man.

Ellen leaned down and gave Katya a kiss on the temple before patting her on the knee, letting her know it was time to go. Reluctantly they both stood.

"Why don't you walk with us to the deck, kitten?" Ellen suggested.

Before Katya could answer her cuff buzzed. When she checked it there was a message from Alexi. He was leaving the civilian side of the station and returning home to report for a short afternoon shift. It was her turn to head over. Their lives had become a hectic game of back and forth. They were constantly checking their cuffs for messages and updates, switching shifts and adjusting their schedules accordingly. They were always anxious and worried. It was crazy but for now it was the way things had to be. The only thing that would be harder than keeping it up would be to find out that they didn't have to anymore.

"I can't," She answered. "I'm late for something."

"For what?" Saul asked, putting his arm around his wife.

"A meeting." Katya couldn't lie about protocol training to her uncle. He was the one who sent her to do it. She had to keep her explanations vague when it came to him. "I promised someone I'd help them with something." Her eyes almost crossed at the level of utter bullshit that was coming out of her own mouth. She had to follow it with some kind of truth. "If I don't go now then I'll be running late for the rest of the day and I'll miss the session I have booked with Madame Lobanova later. I still have to go back to my cabin and grab my stuff."

She did have a private lesson scheduled for later in the day. She figured that she might as well since she was spending so much time on that side of the station anyway. She was so glad to actually be physically able. It had been so long since she could tolerate a brisk walk let alone a workout. Now there was no more risk. She was still a little sore but it was expected and it wasn't going anywhere. For now she had to deal with it. She wasn't exactly back to normal but Tawny's aunt and Dr. Diaz had told her that her body might never feel exactly the same again. Somehow that made sense to Katya. She was feeling better and she wanted to do something more besides run herself back and forth between responsibilities. Dancing always helped her to focus. She thought that a session might help to clear her mind and distract her from all of her fears and doubts if only for a short time. It would be a welcome break after the always emotional experience of a lab visit.

"You're gunna go dance?" Ellen asked.

"Yes, I am. Maybe next time you see me you won't have anything left to poke at," Katya chastised.

It just made Ellen laugh. The girl had hardly filled out at all. Whatever she'd managed to put on actually looked good on her but she wouldn't make another mention of it one way or the other. Katya looked quite well, better than she had in months. She looked a little tired but her face had more color and even her eyes were brighter. Though their visit hadn't gone very well Ellen knew that she would sleep better at night after seeing how healthy Katya looked.

"That witch is still kicking?" Saul grumbled.

"Lobanova? Hardly," Katya sighed. Her ballet teacher was pushing 150 and she knew that she wouldn't be around much longer. "Yuri sent me a message the other day. He told that me she isn't doing so well. So I want to get in some time with her just in case."

"Figures," He scoffed. "She's older than the hills."

"She's not older than you," Katya teased.

He gave her a quick faux frown and then a wink.

"Alright, off with you then."

Katya nodded. She turned to Ellen and leaned in to give her a hug. They didn't speak but they sent each other a silent apology, sparing Saul the turmoil.

"Bye, Aunt Ellen," She said as she leaned back. "Love you."

"Love you, baby."

Katya gave her a sad smile and went toward the hatch.

"Oh, I almost forgot," She said stopping in her tracks and turning to face them. "Do either of you know where my bear, Casey is? The one from Vladi? It's always on my bed. I haven't been able to find it."

"Yeah, baby," Ellen answered. "I'll find it before I go. It's here somewhere." She knew exactly where it was. It was shoved into her travel bag. She'd taken it with her the last time she'd come for a visit when Katya was nowhere to be found. She just wanted something of her daughter's to keep close while she was on Delta. She'd taken it the same way she'd taken a set of Saul's patrol tanks. She actually hated to part with it now that she had to return to the other station and be away from her family once again. "What do you want it for?"

Katya shrugged.

"It's mine. I need a reason?"

"No…" Ellen said with a raised brow. "I guess you don't. If I find it I'll put it back on your bed."

Katya nodded and turned to leave again.

"Will I see you at dinner?" Saul called after her.

"I don't know," She answered over her shoulder. "Don't count on me. My session is at 18:00. I'll let you know. Safe flight, Aunt Ellen," She added before slipping through the hatch.

Ellen let out a sigh that boarded on a whimper when it closed.

"What is it?" Saul asked, looking down at her.

She kept her eyes on the doorway that their daughter had disappeared through.

"Cancel my shuttle, Saul."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. I'm sure. Frak it. I'll go in the morning. I want to sleep here."

"What about Anders?"

"Just…cancel it."

LOCATION: DELTA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR C

MILITARY RECREATION ROOM

LOUNGE UNIT

YEAR: 2315

Margot was all alone in the rec-room sitting cross-legged on top of a poker table. She'd been playing cards all afternoon and she'd lost her ball and won it back twice over. Now that everyone was gone she wished that she would have lost it for good. She wished someone would have taken it off of her hands so that she could lose it fair and square and be done with it. She hated it and yet she was obsessed with it. She couldn't stop bouncing it wherever she went. On duty she kept it in her locker so it would be there when she was through. When she went to the basestar she bounced it off of every solid surface she could. There was no one there to tell her to stop and Lucy didn't seem to mind. She'd become addicted to the sound it made. Sometimes she even thought she heard it in her sleep. The night she'd hurried over to Alpha Station she rushed into the civilian ward with it tucked under her arm like she was ready to play a championship game. She honestly hadn't even realized that she'd brought it with her until Katya pointed it out. She had to force herself to leave it in Katya's recovery room when she went to the lab to fill out her part of the legal documents. She imagined that the placid specialized lab probably wasn't the right environment for sports equipment.

The pyramid ball had become like an extension of her hands and she wished someone would force her to amputate. Days later when she'd returned to Alpha once again for Blazer's birthday Sydra had gotten annoyed with how much she palmed it and bounced it wherever they would go. It had even started some stupid fight between them.

Margot hoped that things would be different once she was transferred to Alpha permanently. She hoped that she would feel different. She didn't like who she was becoming on Delta. She was constantly hiding from D'Anna and she was avoiding talking to Ellen for any other reason other than work. She hated hearing about what a disaster Sam Anders had turned out to be. Most of all she hated how cold her mother had been toward her since the download. She couldn't understand it. Her mom had asked her not to get involved with Sam and D'Anna and she hadn't. Not because she agreed with her reasoning but because things just hadn't turned out the way she'd hoped. She'd done what her mother wanted and it still wasn't good enough. It never was. She wondered how it would be if she actually had interacted with her birthparents on any meaningful level. Would her mother have cut off contact altogether? She didn't know and the more time that passed the less she cared. She took any chance she could to get to the basestar. At least there she felt soothed, surrounded by the ship's humming bulkhead.

As the ball bounced back into her palms Margot decided that the cylon ship was where she wanted to spend the night. She would have time to get back to Delta in the morning before her shift. She had enough of a standing excuse to be over there. She was after all in he middle of trying to fix the biggest problem that the system currently faced. She only wished that her time there would eventually consist of more than repeating the same failed tests over and over and bouncing her ball where no one could see.

With a dismal sigh Margot slid herself off of the poker table and turned to leave the rec-room. When she looked toward the hatch she froze in her tracks.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"Margot?" Sam attempted as if he wasn't quite sure of her name.

He knew it. He knew it well. Ellen never let him forget it for a second. He'd just never addressed her that way before. He'd never addressed her at all. It sounded strange. It even felt strange to say.

"Where is your security?" She sternly asked, looking past him over his shoulder.

"I'm not positive but I'm sure they're going to catch up to me any second now," He answered as he leaned back and checked down both sides of the hallway.

With Ellen away on Alpha Sam was under the constant watch of a centurion and three Delta marine guards. He wasn't allowed to leave his cabin while she was away. He was relegated to work out in his own quarters after losing his gym privileges and his meals were delivered to him. Getting away from his security had taken hours. With a false complaint of severe back pain he'd convinced his marine guards to escort him to Delta's Med Ward. It got him out of his cabin but he'd been stuck in the infirmary for longer than he would have liked. He endured a bone scan and blood work just waiting for an opportunity to escape that he wasn't even sure would come. He was able to slip through the curtains by chance. There had been a small accidental explosion on one of the loading decks and the ward was suddenly bombarded with patients. When Sam heard the chaos outside of his partition he knew that his only chance had just presented itself. He grabbed his shoes and clothes and then slipped from curtain to curtain frightening quite a few other patients before making a break for the hatch. Half way down the hall he could hear his security coming for him. He was able to evade them by slipping into a latrine. It gave him time to dress and regroup. He was free of them for a while, but he had no plan. Ellen was gone. He'd pissed off almost everyone on Delta who he'd come in contact with so far and D'Anna was of no use to him. Though Sam hated it he had quickly realized what his only option was and he knew it was going to be a long shot. He decided to go for it. After all, Longshot hadn't been his callsign for nothing.

Sam had rushed around the C corridor asking anyone he could where he might be able to find Specialist Margot Le Blanc. It was a risk. Since his download he'd been relegated to either the ward or his quarters. Not many people recognized him yet, though he was sure that they all knew him by name. Ellen said that everyone knew of all six of them. He went for privates, younger kids of lower rank who had less of a chance of ever having crossed paths with him over the last few weeks. Soon he was able to find someone who pointed him to the direction of the rec-room. He was almost shocked to actually have found her there when he arrived. He didn't want to talk to her. He hardly wanted to admit to himself that she even existed but he knew that right now she was his only link.

"You stay right there," Margot warned when Sam attempted to step a foot over the hatchway.

When he saw her hand go to her side arm he put his palms up. He knew there was no way she'd actually harm him. Ellen had impressed that upon him well enough. He knew he was needed. It was why he wasn't intimidated by his security, be they centurion or otherwise. Still, he appeased Margot, stopping at her defensive gesture.

"Please? Just let me in for a second," Sam implored. "I'm kind of on display out here."

"Good. Stay there. I'm calling to let security to know where you are. This way they'll see you as soon as they turn the corner."

Margot put the ball under her arm and went to dial up for assistance on her cuff.

"Margot, please?"

She rolled her eyes and swiped at the screen for a call.

Sam's palms were sweaty and his frustrations were building from the inside out. If she called he had two choices; keep running or wait to get pummeled by oversized Delta marines for about the fifteenth time. Either way he'd lose his chance. He looked down the hallway and then back at the specialist, ready to beg once more for her help. Then he saw what she held under her arm.

"Is that…Is that a pyramid ball?"

Margot looked up from her cuff and into Sam's eyes. She gave him one curt nod of affirmation.

"You have pyramid here?"

"No."

"Well, where'd you get the ball then?"

Margot gritted her teeth.

"They removed it from your ass before you were resurrected."

Sam's brow rose at the venom in the young blonde's voice. He should have expected it. He'd been pretty harsh with his denial of her the last time they were in each other's presence. He'd made Ellen cry right in front of her. He couldn't remember half of what he'd said but he knew that he'd sent Margot rushing out of the room. He supposed he didn't deserve to expect any measure of respect from her let alone a favor but it wouldn't stop him from trying.

"Glad I missed that," He quipped in return. "Before you get my ass taken to the brig can I see it? It's been forever."

Margot knew that she was being played but she couldn't help it when she suddenly palmed the ball and chucked it right at him with all the force of her anger.

Sam caught it with one hand and it made a loud smack against the skin of his palm.

"Nice arm."

"Fuck you."

He laughed at her return and started to bounce the ball in front of his feet.

"Gods I missed that sound," He said to himself as he continued to toss the ball against the floor.

He threw it back to her and she caught it without even looking at its direction. Her eyes were on his feet. He had taken a full step into the room as he threw it. She laughed at the sheer nerve he had. She squeezed the ball in her palms once more before throwing it back to him again.

"You keep it," She snidely told him. "I don't want it anymore. Besides, it will give you something to do while you're locked up in the brig."

Sam nodded and spun it between his fingers. He wondered where it could have come from. He could only assume that Saul or Ellen must have given it to the girl but it looked new, worn from recent use but new.

"Look, Specialist. I don't have a lot of time. Either my guards are going to catch up with me here any second or you're going to finally decide to call for security. Either way Ellen's going to ream me out when she gets back. I'll be punished, I assure you. All I want is a second of you time."

"You deserve to be punished with the way you treat her!"

"Who? Ellen?"

"Yes, Ellen! Don't you see how stressed out she is? That's all because of you! You're running her ragged!"

"I love Ellen."

"You sure as fuck don't act like it."

Sam opened his mouth to defend himself but then thought better of it.

"She loves you," He attempted. "Very much so."

"I know that," Margot spat.

Sam nodded.

"You're friends with her daughter. Kar…Katya?" He winced at his slip up. "Aren't you?"

Margot's eyes went wide and heat immediately rose from deep within her.

"Oh no. No. This is what you tracked me down for? I should have fucking known!"

"Please, Margot. You're close to her. I know you are. Maybe you can convince her to come here? Or maybe just tell me a little bit about her?" He pleaded as he gripped the ball tightly.

Sam watched her eyes narrow and their cool grey turn stormy.

Margot slowly and purposefully walked toward him stopping only inches from his face. She was just tall enough to meet his gaze.

"Listen to me, you two hundred thousand year old freak show," She seethed, "If you so much as utter her name to me again I'll drag you into the brig myself. If you ever put your hands on her again, I will personally cut them off."

The stormy grey of her irises had now turned the color of smoldering smoke and it actually made Sam flinch.

"Kat doesn't want anything to do with you," Margot steamed on. "She has her own life, her own problems. She has a husband and a family. She has friends who love her. She has no need for any of your crazy bullshit! You were brought back for one reason; to help us out of this mess we're in. Katya has nothing to do with it. Forget about her. I'm warning you."

Suddenly Sam was shoved right out of Margot's face. She jumped back in surprise in time for two guards to tackle him to the floor. Another marine stood close buy with a stun-gun drawn. Sam was gasping and Margot cringed when she could tell that he'd gotten the wind knocked out of him. He was still fighting though. and the pity that she momentarily felt was extinguished out by his stupidity and stubbornness.

"Please, Margot!" He rasped.

"Take him to the brig until Ellen Tigh comes back on board," She instructed as the marines got a good enough hold on him to secure his wrists behind his back.

"Yes, Ma'am," A guard answered.

The pyramid ball had slipped from Sam's hands as he fell. As he struggled on his belly with a marine at his back the ball was knocked forward toward Margot's feet. When it hit her boots she looked down and picked it up.

"Please, Margot? You have to tell Kara to come see me! You have to!"

Margot palmed the ball and looked directly forward avoiding Sam's frantic eyes. She stepped right over his writhing body and out of the rec-room's hatch.

"Sorry. I don't know a Kara," She sneered back at him before leaving him there to the guards.

She bounced the ball the entire way down the hall. The sound of it helped to drown out his shouting.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR A

CIVILIAN SECTOR

ALPHA THEATER AND CONCERT HALL

YEAR: 2315

Laura stopped her security outside of the theater doors and checked her cuff for the time.

After her tutoring session ended she'd walked Li-Ming and her mother home. The hour had gone surprisingly well. Though the little girl was shy and quiet she was quite willing to participate. Laura spent most of their time together getting to know her, asking simple questions and playing little games with her to assess where she was academically. The time had gone by quickly. When the girl's mother arrived to pick her up Laura was taken by surprise. She'd figured that there might be some resistance by parents as she acquired new students. She was aware of how out of place she was in the world she'd been brought back to. She'd just assumed that there would be some parents who might refuse to send their children to her. She was met with the opposite reaction from Officer Swon. Li-Ming's mother seemed overly grateful just to have her daughter in Laura's presence. She was reminded again of what her existence meant to the people of Earth Orbit. She'd become a myth, a legend like the gods before her. She had an eerie sense of recall over the time Sarah Porter of Sagittaron had first called her a profit and prayed at her feet in Galactica's brig. She'd hated it then and she hated it now but she understood well what it meant to those who believed. The gesture of accompanying the toddler and her mother home was both to humble herself and to attempt to continue the discussion of the child's schooling on the way. No matter what she brought up to the girl's mother Laura was answered with nothing but glowing thanks and appreciation. She worried that the officer hadn't heard half of what she'd said about the little girl. When she left their hatch she told herself to chalk it up to first time nerves for all of them and started home to her cabin.

She was surprised and happy to bypass Katya on the way back. She'd found her jogging down the hallway with a gym bag and a pair of satin toe shoes slung over her shoulder by their ribbons. Katya stopped only momentarily to ask how things had gone with little Li.

"So how's your new little friend?" She'd teased.

"She was actually a joy," Laura answered with a smile. "It went really well."

"I told you."

When Laura pointed out the ballet shoes Katya casually mentioned the session that she had planned at 18:00. With a few more quick pleasantries she'd taken off back down the hall and out of sight.

Laura returned to her cabin in a decent mood. Her day had gone as well as she could have expected, though she generally tried not to expect anything out of the new life she had. She didn't know what she was waiting for; personally or in regard to why she was there. Not long after her own resurrection she'd told herself to quit expecting all together. Today, she hadn't expected for her first lesson to go so well or that she would be so fond of her new little student. She hadn't expected to have two encounters with her daughter both of which were amicable and even fluid. She was just pleasantly surprised and that was as close to a good day as she could hope for in this strange new existence.

Bill was on duty for the evening which meant that Laura would be left on her own past dinner. At first she was lost in the recounting of her day. She'd relaxed on the sofa and found herself smiling over her interactions with Li-Ming. Once Katya had left them the girl really had taken to Laura quite well. Li was a good deal younger than any child she ever taught before. She didn't have much experience at all with children that age. The girl was young enough to still be seen as just a baby and yet she was ready to start using all of her newly acquired deductive, language and motor skills. It was fascinating to see and by the end of the session Laura hadn't felt like she'd been stuck playing nanny after all. Things had gone well vocationally speaking but she couldn't help that the interaction had touched her personally too. As Laura thought of her day the part that she found herself replaying in her mind the most was the moment that Katya put the child in her arms. She didn't know the little girl, she'd been a stranger, but just the physical feeling of holding her had stirred up something unexpected. It was another thing that Laura had missed out on with her own child, something else that she would have to try to imagine in her daydreams. Holding Li-Ming had given her a better reference. She was reminded of just how precious it felt to hold the weight of a child in her arms, how soft their skin was and how much they were truly relying on the embrace of another. She could only imagine holding a three year old Katya like that. If holding a little stranger could incite such strong feelings within her then she wondered if she would have even been able to handle the presence of her own child. Somehow she didn't think so. It all seemed way too powerful and completely overwhelming. She was reminded of exactly why she'd decided against it all in her last life. Handling Katya as a young adult was hard enough.

As Laura lay there in her cabin relaxing on the sofa her thoughts turned to the young woman and how little she'd seen of her over the past week and a half. Their walk on the dreamed up beach already seemed like ages ago. She was disappointed when Katya hadn't shown up after that. They'd shared quite a bit with each other that day whether they'd intended to or not. When Katya had confessed that her dream had come to fruition the admission had left Laura hanging in the proverbial projected wind. She'd thought that Katya might be ready to talk more but she'd just stopped. Later that night Laura had received her message that she wouldn't be returning. She was hopeful that Katya would keep her word about talking again soon but after a few days passed Laura stopped hoping. She understood what the captain had gone through with the loss of her colleague. Laura told herself that when Katya was ready she would come around again but seeing her for just a short time in the hall had reminded her of what she'd been missing.

A thought occurred to her as she laid there on the sofa. At first she scoffed at her own idea but the more that she thought about it the more she started to actually consider it. Saul had brought her to one of Katya's private ballet sessions before. They'd entered the theater and watched her totally unnoticed. Laura remembered how graceful and elegant the young woman looked on stage, how she was totally blown away by the new and unexpected side of her daughter that she was seeing. She wished that she could see it again. Katya still had no idea that she'd ever witnessed her perform. For Saul's sake Laura knew that she would always keep that first time to herself. She started to wonder if she could perhaps take another peek without being seen. She tried to tell herself that it was sneaky and unethical but in the end her curiosity and the powerful pull that she seemed to constantly feel toward the girl had her up and asking a guard to escort her to the Alpha Theater once 1800 rolled around.

Laura rationalized it in her mind on the way over. The last time she'd seen Katya dance the poor girl had collapsed into her partner's arms. Was she really in good enough shape to attempt such an activity again? Laura had seen her take ill just standing around in her bedroom looking through her closet. It hardly seemed wise for Katya to attempt anything so athletic. Laura had to admit that she'd looked surprisingly well earlier, almost vivacious. She honestly didn't think she'd ever seen her look so lively in all the time she'd known her. She was almost glowing. It had made her wonder even more about what had been plaguing Katya and if whatever it was had truly passed. She told herself that she would go just to make sure. She had no idea what she would really do if Katya in fact became ill. Any attempt at assistance would surely blow her cover but she'd be there just in case. At least she would know. She wouldn't have to wonder all night, picturing her daughter spinning herself dizzy.

Laura was careful as she opened the entryway to the concert hall. She knew that it would let in quite a bit of light but Saul had assured her that the stage lights were far too bright for Katya to see much of anything past the first few rows. When she came in she took careful inventory. The house lights were dimly lit making it easy to see where she was stepping yet dark enough to stay concealed. There was music playing through speakers as there had been the last time. She saw one dancer on stage, which she assumed to be Katya. She didn't seem to be accompanied by the male partner she'd watched her dance with before. Laura barely saw the old woman parked in the front row but she knew that she had to be there. When no one seemed to notice her entry she took a few more steps in and carefully leaned against the aisle wall just as she had with Saul all those weeks ago.

She was hardly close enough to see the details of her face but Laura knew that it was Katya up there. The size of the bun on the girl's head was a dead giveaway; her long dark hair piled neatly atop her head. It made Laura smile and she wished that Bill could see her too. She wondered if they would ever be at the point where it would be possible; if one day she and Bill could watch their daughter practice her beloved hobby without having to hide for fear of overstepping or embarrassing her. Laura so badly wanted to be able to complement Katya on her grace and talent. She imagined being able to openly praise her as she was sure Saul and Ellen had over the years.

Laura noticed that the music was different this time. It wasn't the cheerful holiday piece that she'd been dancing to with Alexi's cousin. It was darker and beautifully complex. Katya's dancing was different too. It was more intense, more powerful and dramatic. Though Laura thought that the performance between Katya and Yuri had been lovely there was something about seeing the beautiful ballerina on stage all alone. She was so small against the huge backdrop and yet her presence seemed to take up the entire expanse of the platform. She wore some ebony fluff around her hips that bounced with her every leap and jump. Laura noted that she hadn't seen her in anything like it the last time. Before she'd been in a simple leotard; sleek and lissome. With the added ruffles she looked like a living doll, like something off of the top of a birthday cake. Laura couldn't help but grin at it. She liked the frilly accessory far more than the gun holster that usually hung at the girl's hips.

Laura started to become more comfortable within her camouflage and for a few moments she was able to enjoy the sight of her daughter dancing. She told herself that she would only stay a little longer. It would be enough to get her through a few days. It would be enough to make a memory even if Katya didn't share it.

Feeling confident enough that she wouldn't be seen, she decided to move up a few paces. She stopped when a light from the opposite side of the theater caught her eye. The doors on the far side of the auditorium opened briefly letting in the illumination from the hallway. Before they shut the light shown upon the person who'd entered. Laura saw the outside glow momentarily reflect upon golden curls. It was Ellen. She knew it before she could even make out her face under the dim house lights. Before she was able to think much further, Ellen had spotted her too.

They each watched each other for a few moments, stiff where they stood. It wasn't easy to see much detail across the rows and rows of seating but Laura thought that she could make out Ellen's eyes well enough and she was hardly happy to see her. The other woman's posture was tense and austere. For the briefest of moments Laura considered that Ellen might blow her cover, that she might announce that she was there hiding and watching. She quickly realized that wouldn't be the case. For now at least, Ellen was sticking to the darkness herself. She wasn't interested in letting Katya know that Laura was there diligently watching, she just wanted her gone.

Ellen knew it was Laura on the other side of the theater even in the dull light. She immediately felt ire rise from deep within. For a moment she wondered if Katya knew the woman was there, if she'd perhaps invited her, but soon Ellen rationalized that it was far from likely. Laura was hiding in the dark like a mouse and Ellen could sense her worry from across the room. She tried staring her down for a moment, thinking that she would leave right away but when she stayed put Ellen felt more heat start to rise in her gut. When Laura's eyes went decidedly back to the stage Ellen started fuming. When had Laura developed the nerve? She wanted to kill Saul for ever showing her where the theater was, for ever letting her know about Katya's talent.

Ellen crossed her arms and composed herself. She would let Laura watch for a while, let her get her fill but not for long. She gave her eyes to the stage. She was there to watch Katya too. She could wait Laura out.

Once Katya had left the cabin Ellen's decision to stay on Alpha for the night had been an easy one to make. She just couldn't go back to Delta yet. She needed to be home if only for a few extra hours. She desperately needed time with her family. She didn't like what had gone on between her and Katya. They'd never fought like that before. It scared her. She couldn't leave without making up for the time they'd spent arguing and trading insults. She was also more than eager to make up for lost time with her husband. Their physical relationship meant so much. It had always been the way they expressed their love for one another. In their darkest times when they couldn't trust each other's words they could still trust in one another's touch. She'd jumped Saul's bones before he could even finish sending in her shuttle cancellation. Katya had been so far off with her snide accusation. There was nothing sexual going on with Sam. The only thing that Ellen had been getting off on aboard Delta Station was network porn and her own hand. Saul hadn't known what hit him when she'd shoved him into their bedroom. Though Ellen enjoyed the few hours she'd spent with him she was careful to watch the clock. Katya had mentioned her session time and Ellen didn't want to miss it. She'd waited for it all afternoon. Now Laura's attendance was ruining it.

Ellen had been to so many of Katya's private lessons over the years. She'd quickly learned her place; to keep silent and watch. She could remember the first few sessions that she'd attended. Katya had been dancing since she could walk but it was all new to Ellen. At first she'd been quick to jump to her new little girl's defense when Madam Lobanova would scold or critique her in any way. Though Ellen didn't understand the language that the old woman used she heard her tone and hadn't thought it appropriate toward a seven year old child. After a few confrontations Katya had very sweetly explained to her that it was fine and that it was just the way things were when it came to her ballet. She'd been quite diplomatic and convincing for such a little girl and with some hesitance Ellen had backed off. She was able to stay out of it and enjoy the girl's talent and pursuit of her craft. Over the years Ellen learned to put Katya's hair up in a dozen different ways. She learned all of the terminology and knew her grande jetes from her pirouettes. She made room in their closets for oversized tutu's and paid for dozens of pairs of pointe shoes and hours of private lessons. She took Katya to rehearsals and then mended her bleeding blistered feet when they got home. She'd done whatever she could to support her daughter.

Ellen recognized the music that was playing. It was from one of Katya's favorite ballets composed in the old Eastern Federation, but it was one she'd never gotten the chance to perform for an audience. It was a mature piece reserved for only the most advanced dancers. Lobanova had finally offered Katya the lead a week before her Orbit Patrol basic training was scheduled to start. Ellen could still remember how hard it was for Katya to turn it down. She'd never second guessed her choice to become a pilot but she'd mourned the part of her life that was ending because of it. Ellen had been there to help her through it all. Ellen had earned the right to stand there and be proud of the young woman on stage. Laura didn't know anything about what had gone into what she was watching. She didn't understand the years of hard work, dedication and tears. She saw the frilly onyx tutu, the grace and apparent ease of Katya's movements. She didn't understand the blood and sweat that it took. She couldn't possibly. Ellen found her eyes on the other woman again. She wasn't moving. She was still there.

Laura could feel Ellen staring. She still couldn't comprehend the obvious and fervent resentment that Ellen had forced between them over the last few months. While, she was civil with her among company, Laura had no trouble sensing the envy and rancor that Ellen's eyes seemed to cast upon her with every sideways glance. It was like that whenever they were together. Laura endured it for Katya's sake and because without the Tighs their new lives were quite lonely. They spent time with them, accepting most of Saul's invitations and though Ellen's demeanor was pleasant for the most part she always made her true feelings clear to Laura in one way or another. As far as Laura was concerned Ellen was wasting her energy. She'd built up a phantom rivalry between them that didn't exist. The only thing that Laura truly resented was that Ellen Tigh felt like she had the right to be jealous at all. Laura spent her days looking over the other woman's priceless memories of her daughter. She spent her nights wishing that she had even a fraction of what Ellen kept so close to her heart. If Ellen couldn't be grateful and stay confident in what she'd experienced over the years then it was her own fault. Laura didn't really care how much time she spent stewing up imaginary causes for malice. Thinking back to the first days after her resurrection Laura could see that it had been going on since she'd opened her eyes on Alpha. She just had no reference for it back then. She could ignore it well enough because to her it was baseless. Bill assured her that it was just in Ellen's nature to be jealous and that there was probably nothing that anyone could do to convince her to feel differently. He claimed that he knew the woman well and that he was sure her hostility toward Laura would fade once she found something else to ruffle her feathers. It had diminished over the last few weeks but only because she was hardly around, only because Anders was a basket case who needed her constant attention. Now that Ellen was back on Alpha so was her envy and somehow it seemed more intense than before. Laura wasn't sure that Bill was right in his assessment. Whatever Ellen's reasoning for it, Laura could feel that the resentment was real and deep. It wouldn't just go away with the aid of distraction. Laura chanced a look back at her and they were eyeing one another again in a silent stand off.

This time Ellen was the first one to break eye contact and direct her attentions back to the performance on stage. Though her vision was focused on Katya, her stance was still stiff and territorial. She stood like a lioness guarding her cub.

Laura hated that Ellen's attempts to make her feel as though she didn't belong were actually starting to work. Maybe she had made a mistake by coming. If Katya caught her watching she would have to stumble through an exhausting explanation and then probably apologize. Any tiny modicum of trust that she'd gained with the young woman would be gone. If Katya caught Ellen she might be momentarily miffed before she gladly welcomed the surprise visit. Maybe she didn't belong.

The music stopped and so did Katya's fluid movements.

Laura was worried for a moment that the girl's attentions might be drawn down one of the aisles. She was startled when she heard the old woman shout.

"Yekaterina, derzhite pryamo spinu! Zakrepite rychag , plecho!"

Katya answered with a quick 'Dah, Madame,' without even glancing passed the first row. For now Laura was safe in the darkness and able to watch on.

When the music resumed so did the dancing and for a little while Ellen was able to watch her beautiful swan without being focused on the distraction across the theater. Saul had always commented on how different Katya was when she danced. He thought that she was so quiet and graceful. He always said that it was almost like he was looking at another kid. Ellen had never agreed. She always saw Katya the same way. When she was a child it didn't matter if she was running around their cabin making rocket noises or twirling around the stage to the sounds of a symphony. As she grew older didn't matter if she was loading her gun or lacing her toe shoes. Ellen only saw her daughter; loving and sweet, precocious and stubborn, flawed in a thousand ways and blessed in a thousand others. Her kitten was both endearing and infuriating and Ellen loved all of her. She looked over at Laura again and had to swallow down the bile that started to rise in her throat. She knew that she shouldn't be staring at the other woman with such aching indignation. In the back of her mind she knew that she should be on her knees thanking Laura for bearing her child, for giving her a gift that she would have never had without her. She knew that she should be kissing her feet for creating something that had brought her so much love and joy but her gratitude was too powerfully overshadowed by such deep envy. Instead of hating herself for her shortcomings Ellen had to hate Laura. She had to hate her for doing what she couldn't, for being what she wasn't. She hated her for giving a damn, for caring enough to be there hiding and admiring her child. She hated that Laura's very presence was taking her own attentions away from their daughter. She just couldn't focus with her there. She had to make Laura leave.

The music stopped once more and Katya stilled and dropped her poised stance.

"Prasti minya, Madame," She shouted down to her instructor. "Ya iz praktiki , ya v plokhoy forme"

The words sounded like nothing but impressive gibberish to Laura's alien ears. She stayed still against the wall of the aisle careful not to draw attention to herself but when she saw movement out of the corner of her eye she turned her head toward where Ellen had been standing. In the dusky light she clearly saw Ellen flash her a spiteful smirk as she confidently made her way to the front row of the theater. Laura watched as she headed right toward where the old Madame was seated. She was going to surprise Katya and let her know that she was there. Ellen was doing what Laura couldn't and she knew at that point that she needed to leave. She quickly turned and made her way back up the aisle to the exit. Laura realized that Ellen had done her a favor by keeping herself hidden for as long as she had. She could have called her out the very moment they'd spotted each other.

Laura couldn't watch anymore anyway. She'd seen enough. She left the theater in haste. She didn't want to be noticed and more selfishly she didn't want to see the excitement on Katya's face when she finally saw that Ellen had come to surprise her.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 119B: ASSIGNMENT; TIGH

YEAR: 2315

Saul sat with Katya's bear in his lap and a drink in hand. He was eager for Ellen to bring her home for dinner. He'd messaged Alexi to let him know that they would finally all be together tonight. He asked him to get home as soon as he could. Even if it was just for one night. Saul knew that it would do his wife a world of good. He felt awful when he saw her take the old stuffed bear out of her travel case and toss it onto the sofa. She had it all along. He pictured her snuggling up with it alone on Delta after an arduous day with Anders. It hurt his heart and warmed it at the same time. His relationship with Ellen had changed in many ways over the last fifteen years. Though much of their dynamic had stayed the same they'd learned a stability that they'd never had before. He'd fallen in love with her all over again for the thousandth time and what he loved most about her was how much she loved their child.

Saul's cuff buzzed just before he heard a knock at the hatch. A look toward his wrist showed a message from Bill. It was him at the door. With the bear in tow he set down his drink and went for the hatch.

"You almost had it this time, Old Man," He ribbed as he opened the door.

Bill laughed and shook his head. He might never get used to the permanent contraption on his arm.

"I sent it when I was about halfway here. I guess it just took its time getting to you."

"Sure it did," Saul scoffed and gestured for Bill to enter.

Bill looked down at the stuffed animal in Saul's hand and then gave him a mocking little scowl as he walked in.

"Is that Ellen's replacement?" He chided.

"Very funny. Drink?"

Bill nodded and Saul tossed him the toy bear before turning for the beverage cart.

"That's Katya's. At least it was," He explained as he poured. "Vladi brought it to her when she was little. It was one of his more appropriate gifts."

Bill chuckled. Vladi had resumed his gift giving once Laura recovered from her injuries. When she'd returned home from the infirmary he'd given her a handful of sugar packets. She wasn't amused when Bill told her that he thought it was sweet.

Bill held the bear in both hands. He looked down at its fuzzy face and gave a sad smile.

"Cute."

"She called it Casey," Saul added with a grin. He made his way over to where Bill stood, drink in hand. "She used to pretend to rock it to sleep at night when Ellen put her down for bed."

"Casey, huh?" Bill laughed.

"Yup."

"What are you doing with it?"

"Ellen just left it out for her. She never took it when she moved out. I guess maybe she misses it. I don't know. I was just…reminiscing I guess."

Bill looked up from the bear in his hands.

"Ellen's home?"

"She came over for a visit. She decided to stay the night. She just went down to the theater to find Katya and surprise her. What brings you by?"

"Laura. I got off a little early and when I got home she wasn't there. Her guard is gone too. The only one on post was that sentimental bullet head. I sent her a message and she didn't answer. I thought you might know where she is."

"No idea," Saul shrugged. "If she's with her guard I wouldn't worry. She probably went to the gym or something."

Bill nodded.

"She started teaching today."

"I heard. I think that's good."

"So do I. It was good of the sergeant to set it up for her."

"Lex is a good kid," Saul affirmed. "What he lacks in personality he makes up with heart. Sometimes I can't believe he's that little fraker Baltar's son but then I remember who his mother was and I know exactly why he is the way he is."

Bill tried to stop the grimace from forming on his face. It was still so strange to hear Saul reference the Six that way.

"I think you and Ellen should get some of the credit. You looked after the boys for a few years, didn't you?"

"Hardly. They came to us as fine young men. We didn't do anything but try and keep them out of trouble."

Bill chuckled.

"I think you did more than that…with all four of them. You know Saul…" Bill sighed and started over. "I don't think I told you this yet but…Katya…I think you and Ellen did a fine job with her. I know she has problems. They're too obvious to ignore but…the more I see of her the more I find what's underneath the brass façade. She's an exceptional young woman. I know that a lot of it came from you and Ellen. I know how hard it is to see your children grow up, all the while hoping that they turn out to be decent people. I think you've done that with Katya and well…I want to thank you for it. You kept her safe and healthy…and more than that she's been loved. I can't thank you enough for that."

Saul stood tall and cleared his throat. Bill had just said the very thing he'd been waiting to hear for the past fifteen years of his life and it felt good.

"There isn't any thanks needed, Bill. We took Katya in because she was your daughter. We loved her because we couldn't help it," Saul affirmed. He watched as Bill nodded and looked back at the stuffed animal. "Are we gunna stand around getting sentimental all evening?"

Bill shook his head but he didn't lift his eyes from the bear.

"Casey, was it?"

He'd expected something that sounded more federalist from the girl after what she'd named her beloved centurion but he supposed that she'd been raised around so many different cultures. They were all supposed to be one now.

Saul smiled again.

"Ellen made it a little eye patch once. Had Kat laughing for a week straight," He remembered with a soft chuckle. "Sit, Old Man. Ellen and Katya will be back soon but we have time to drink."

Saul held out the glass for his friend.

"I should probably go back to the cabin and check for Laura."

"I think Madam President can take care of herself. It's already poured," Saul insisted, handing the drink over to Bill.

He finally took it.

They each sat, Saul in his chair and Bill on the sofa where he discarded Casey on a pillow beside him.

"How'd your shift go?"

Bill shook his head and took a long slow sip of the liquid before speaking.

"Things are strange since we lost that pilot."

Saul picked up his own drink from the coffee table and thumbed the rim.

"I know it," He said before he took a swig and swallowed hard. "I can't say that it was worth the loss of life but at least Katya thought to test it. We still wouldn't know if she hadn't brought it up."

"Does Ellen have any kind of idea for a fix? Sooner or later we're going to need to be able to get down there and I have to be honest, Saul…I've talked to Helo…It's hard for all of us to know that we may have been brought back for nothing."

Saul's eyes snapped to Bill's and his brows came together. He felt his fists clench at his side. After the offer of thanks he couldn't believe that Bill would say such a thing. How could he feel that way?

"You weren't brought back for nothing."

Bill immediately saw the anger on Saul's face and he regretted his words. He supposed he hadn't meant them the way they came out. Whether they could help the people or not they'd been brought back to meet their orphaned children and Saul was right; Bill couldn't call that nothing.

"You're right. I'm sorry."

Saul nodded in acceptance and quickly dropped it. He leaned back into his seat with a grunt.

"Ellen has Margot working on it. The signal is so strong and persistent at the atmosphere line that she's having trouble figuring out where to start. We sent a few unmanned drones in to read the airwaves. The signal stops a short while past the gravity line. If we could just get pilots past that point we'd be okay but it seems impossible. We'd have to get them back too. I can't imagine breaking the atmosphere feeling like your brain is made of scrambled eggs."

"Saul, I don't know why that prophecy said that we needed to come back. I've read Laura's copy. Katya sent it to her weeks ago and she reads it all the time. Neither of us can figure it out. I've spoken to Helo and Athena. They're as lost as we are. D'Anna doesn't seem to have much more of a clue and Sam is well…you and Ellen know where his head is. I think it's time to consider the possibility that Baltar and the Six," Bill paused to correct himself when he saw the look in Saul's eyes change, "That Baltar and Caprica are what's missing. I think it's time to consider that we may just not be enough."

Saul brought his glass down harshly against the top of the coffee table.

"I have considered that, Bill. I've lived in fear of that being the case since the day the bodies were destroyed, hell, even before that. There was no clear message of who we were supposed to bring back. We tried to get it right but maybe we were wrong all along. Maybe from the start. Maybe it really was supposed to be Starbuck instead of D'Anna. I don't know but we can't give up hope. I'm not ready to tell myself that almost two millennia of being boxed and playing guardian to an entire planet has been a waste. I just can't. Not yet."

Bill let out a long breath and leaned back in his seat. He looked over at the toy bear beside him and then back to Tigh.

"Saul, explain to me again why you couldn't bring Kara back."

Saul shrugged.

"We just couldn't," He attempted but when he saw Bill's brow furrow he continued. "We provided Michelle Le Blanc with a sample of Kara's blood. We figured that they could start the cloning process the same as they had with you. Ellen and I stored the sample aboard the basestar the same way the rest were. When Le Blanc went to do a DNA extraction she said that there was nothing there."

"Nothing there? What's that mean?"

"It means what I just said; there was nothing. Physically there was a blood sample, at least what Baltar had labeled Kara's blood. It was dated from right around the time she returned from the dead out of nowhere in that shiny new viper. I picked it up myself." Saul could still hear the creaking metal of the superheated ship as it got closer and closer to the sun. He could still feel the stifling heat and the sweat pouring down his back as he searched for every sample and then made his way back to Ellen. "I know it was hers but when Le Blanc did an analysis on it she found no distinguishable markers. There was no DNA. There was nothing. Under a microscope, even scanned through the computers there was nothing there. It made no godsdamn sense. It was like looking at less than water. She couldn't get a frakking thing from it. It was useless. It was like it wasn't even there."

"Like it wasn't there? How's that possible?" Bill scowled in disbelief.

"I don't know. There was blood in the vial and we know that Baltar and Cottle both tested that sample to make sure it was Kara who had come back to us but when we got it here it was like…It was like whatever had once made it Kara's had long disappeared."

"Can that happen?"

"No. Not like that…not with a full sample like that. I can't…I can't explain it. Ellen could never figure it out. We needed to move on. I chose D'Anna because I felt like something was telling me that she needed to be here. I had to assume that Kara wasn't meant to be."

For a while they sat silently. Bill was going over everything that Saul told him. He'd heard the story before but not in such detail. He was having a hard time letting it sink in. It made an eerie sort of sense to him that Kara's essence was gone from the vial. He didn't know why and it made his hands start to sweat.

"Bill, what do you remember from where you were?" Saul posed. "I mean the other side."

"Nothing…hardly anything. Why?"

"You know that you were with Laura."

"Yeah. I know that. It's more of a feeling than anything else."

"Who else?"

Bill grimaced and tried to think but as always it was no use. He'd stopped trying months ago.

"I think my boys were there. I think everyone we loved was there but I can't tell you in what way."

"Was Starbuck there?"

Bill shook his head and sighed.

"I don't know. I don't remember. I think my kids were with me…well…the ones who passed at least." Bill felt in twinge in his heart as he thought of his children. Zak, Lee, Dee and Kara were all long dead and he felt so strange to be living without them. "Why?"

Saul shrugged.

"Ellen says that Anders keeps telling her that Kara was with him there and then he lost her."

"What the frak does that mean?"

"Hell if I know and he doesn't seem to be able to explain himself either."

"So she was with him on the other side and then…she wasn't?" Bill posed.

"I don't know," Saul shrugged.

Bill thumbed at his chin as he thought. It was late in the evening and he already felt the course stubble coming in.

"D'Anna seemed to know about Margot when she woke up, right?"

"She says she did, in some way," Saul answered. "She can't say how."

Bill looked to his boots.

"When we first found out about Katya, Laura asked me if I thought that it was possible that we knew about her on the other side. If somehow maybe we'd been watching over everything like the old myths said but then forgot it once we resurrected."

Saul used to consider that. He had no clear memory of the times he'd resurrected. Ellen couldn't tell him what the other side was like either. She said that she never paid attention as she crossed through because she was always so desperate to get back. Sometimes he wondered if Bill and Laura were watching over them. He wondered if they knew what was going on and if they knew about Katya. He raised her as if they were looking over his shoulder but when they came back in the state that they had he just assumed it wasn't the case.

"You can't remember at all?"

"No," Bill said with a grumble.

Saul huffed and picked up his drink. It didn't matter.

"Look we have you six to work with and that's all there is to it. Ellen wants to get you all together again sometime in the next week."

Bill nodded and finished his drink.

"That's probably a good idea. Is Anders ready for that?"

"I don't care if he is or not. He'll be there like the rest of you even if he's bound in a straight jacket."

"He still asking for Katya?"

"Yes. Ellen wants her to go back to Delta with her to shut him up but to tell you truth I don't want him anywhere near her. It's like he fixated on the first person he saw and now he'd obsessed. He's deranged. He can't keep a damn thing straight in his head. Ellen says half the time he's looking for Kat, the other half he's searching for Kara no matter how many times he's told that she isn't here. He's bonkers. First Ellen thought that it might be brain damage from lack of oxygen during the download but now…"

"What?"

"Well…the poor guy died totally out of his mind. His brain was on overdrive. I know that it was due to something physical back then. The poor guy was shot right in the brain. I remember how erratic his train of thought was back in Sick Bay. Maybe that's the way he came back. If his consciousness was transferred over with his soul then maybe we shouldn't have expected him to return the way we once knew him."

Bill shook his head.

"I don't think that's it, Saul. I talked to him…granted you and Ellen have known him a hell of a lot longer than I have but it's something else. He's not crazy, something's driving him crazy."

"Like what?"

Bill picked up the stuffed bear again. He squeezed it in his palms feeling the billowy fluff inside of it.

"I have no idea."

LOCATION: DELTA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

YEAR: 2315

Margot's face was beat red and she couldn't stop her tears from flooding. She didn't even know why she was crying. She was just so depressed, so angry. She wished that she could go to Sydra or Katya. Part of her even wished that Ellen was on station but she knew that she wouldn't really go to any of them, even if she could. They didn't need her problems. She wasn't any good to anyone like this. She hated it. She'd always been able to keep an even demeanor. She always tried to be a constant support to everyone that she knew. She couldn't do it anymore.

She needed to get off of Delta. After leaving Anders on the rec-room floor she sent an urgent request to Cmdr. Thibodaux asking for permission to leave for the basestar. She no longer needed Ellen's clearance to go. The Tighs trusted her there. When her trip was approved by the commander she sent for a heavy raider and rushed to the officer's barracks to pack a bag. Ball in hand and duffle on her back she left. On a whim she found herself wandering to her mother's cabin on her way to the deck. There was no answer when she knocked and for some reason that was when she burst into tears. She'd been standing there for a while now just trying to calm herself. The last thing she wanted to do was head to the deck crying. She'd never hear the end of it from the crew. Now she was holding her breath just trying to make herself stop. She faced the hatch to hide her tears and she bounced the ball in time with her sobs to mask the sound from those who passed by.

"Do you know how I always manage to track you down?"

The cool sound of the voice behind her almost made Margot's tears freeze on her face.

"The world's creepiest maternal instinct?" She prodded, still facing the door.

Her caustic guess was answered by a low chuckle.

"I wish I could say that, but no. I just listen for the sound of that incessant bouncing."

Margot turned to find D'Anna staring at her, arms crossed.

"Oh." D'Anna tilted her head to the side and her ever-icy eyes seems to soften at the sight of the girl's tears."What's wrong, Specialist?"

"Nothing," Margot snapped.

She wiped at her cheeks and looked down the hallway to a marine guard waiting nearby. At least D'Anna had her security with her. She'd actually been a model guest aboard Delta despite her stalking habit.

"Something's wrong. People don't often cry for nothing and I can see that something is troubling you."

Margot shook her head.

"I'm fine. Go back to your cabin."

Her order made D'Anna laugh.

"Do you expect me to sit in there and rot while you all figure out what to do with me?"

"We're trying to keep you safe," Margot countered.

"I call it wasting my time."

Margot shrugged.

"Call it whatever you want."

"I have nothing to do."

"Get your guards to escort you to a museum or a gallery. We'll make sure you have secure entry wherever you want to go. You're on the only station that knows the meaning of the word art. Go enjoy it."

Delta Station was known as the hub of arts and creativity in Orbit. When the people first started to move to the space stations from the surface Delta was controlled by the Central Union sector. So many of the world's most precious examples of human expression came from the region. When the bots started to take hold of the cities there were massive bombings and explosions. As more and more people escaped to the space station they took with them some of the more valuable and meaningful works that society held in high regard; antiques, master works of sculpture, paint and pottery. They took them in hopes of preserving that part of their civilization so that its history wouldn't be erased as they fled. They hoped to one day bring it all back down with them when they returned. As time went on the stations became more organized and turned into a new society of their own. They were able to celebrate the precious works of art that they'd salvaged in small galleries and museums aboard the civilian side of the station. As years passed Delta took on a reputation as the system's center of creativity. New art, music and literature was produced and celebrated within Orbit and Delta became the place to be for budding musicians, artists, writers and designers. The other stations had such things in moderation. They all had theaters and other venues for artistic expression but they focused more on utilitarian means of survival rather than symbolic preservation. Delta was able to do both. People traveled from the other stations just to see plays, visit galleries and attend concerts. They produced the bulk of Earth Orbit's digital entertainment; everything from movies, to documentaries and a good deal of pornography. Everyone joked that if Beta was destroyed they'd die of starvation but if Delta was destroyed they'd die sooner of boredom.

"I have no interest in that," D'Anna answered. "I've seen things far more beautiful than any man could create."

"Fine. Whatever," Margot dismissed as she moved to walk around her. "I have to go."

D'Anna stepped in front of her stopping her from taking another step forward.

Margot huffed and grunted in response.

"You're going on a trip," D'Anna stated.

"Yes," Margot confirmed with a roll of her eyes. "Very observant. Excuse me."

D'Anna didn't move.

"Are you going to the other station again?" She tested "Alpha?"

"No."

D'Anna bit her lip and nodded.

"Ellen Tigh is gone for the day, isn't she?"

Margot's patience was already gone. She didn't know what was stopping her from shoving the woman out of her way and getting a move on.

"Yes she is. Why?"

"If you leave you'll both be gone. I prefer it when one of you is here," D'Anna answered simply.

Margot scowled.

"What the hell for?"

"Well, I don't know a soul here."

"You don't know me. And you hardly know Ellen."

"I know that her intentions are honest and I know that she cares about my well being. That's as close to a friend as I've got. She's my creator. I have an inclination to feel protected by her. All indications are that she cares," D'Anna shrugged. "Maybe not as much for me as she does for others but I feel she cares. I think you might care too. At least I suppose you do."

Margot narrowed her eyes.

"What makes you think that?"

"Well I care about you," D'Anna said plainly. "I think it might go both ways. It's only natural."

Margot gave her a bitter grin.

"Natural?" She scoffed. "Nothing about either one of us is natural. We're machines. Nice try though."

D'Anna weighed the girl's words but decided not to comment further.

"Where are you going? I really would rather if you waited until Ellen returned."

Margot couldn't believe that D'Anna actually thought she would give a damn about her request. She also couldn't believe that for a split second it actually crossed her mind to stay. D'Anna didn't need her there. She'd be fine on her own.

"I don't care what you would rather. I have work to do. There is a raider waiting for me on deck. Please get out of my way."

"A raider?" D'Anna thought quickly. Suddenly her eyes brightened. "You're going to my ship."

"Your ship?"

"Yes."

"What the hell makes it your ship?"

"So you are going there?"

Margot didn't answer.

"You are," D'Anna decided.

The look in her eyes made Margot feel uneasy.

"Don't you dare try to read me," She warned the cylon woman.

"I wouldn't think of it," D'Anna smirked. "I can just tell. You're going back to the basestar," She repeated.

"Yes. I have work to do on your ship."

"You mock me but that was my home for a long time."

Margot let out a breath and then reluctantly nodded. D'Anna was right. Sometimes she forgot how old the ship was, how much it had been through long before she ever stepped foot inside it.

"I miss it," D'Anna said without much sound to her voice.

Margot bit her tongue. She'd never seen anyone else have that kind of emotional reaction to the ship. She knew that Ellen cared about it but Saul looked at it as nothing more than their biggest source of protection and the place where he spent an eternity boxed. D'Anna seemed to actually have some kind of fondness for it.

"Well I'll take pictures," Margot mumbled before she went to leave.

"Specialist?" D'Anna called stopping her again.

"What?"

"Could I go with you?"

Margot's eyes went wide.

"Absolutely not."

"Why? I'd be just as safe there as I am here. Probably safer," D'Anna challenged. "The others are allowed to fly when necessary. I've seen Adama here visiting Sam Anders. Why can't I take a trip?"

Margot fumbled for an answer.

"It's not necessary."

"What is it that you're working on?" D'Anna probed.

"I can't tell you."

"Why not? Don't you think that it's probably a foolish idea to leave any of us in the dark about important matters?"

Margot actually agreed. It wasn't her idea to keep the new signal information from them. It was just that Anders couldn't be trusted with it and so Ellen hadn't bothered to share it with D'Anna quite yet.

"I can't tell you here," Margot corrected. "It's classified," She said in a low voice as she watched a few people pass them by. "It's need-to-know and we don't want it getting around to the civilian population."

"I see," D'Anna answered. "Specialist, whatever it is you're doing on that ship I guarantee I can help you with it. I have the knowledge of every single one of my sisters who ever worked aboard it and an intimate knowledge of all its intricate operations. I lived aboard ships identical to it for years. I know that hybrid."

D'Anna saw Margot wince at her last words.

"What? What it is?"

"She's...Well she's gone."

"Gone?"

"Sort of."

D'Anna took a sharp breath in. That couldn't be possible.

"She can't be. How does the ship operate?"

"Well, Ellen sort of fixed it," Margot explained. "Her brain is still working, preserved in her tub. Her consciousness still controls the ship."

D'Anna let her shoulders fall in relief. It made sense. Ellen had to ensure that the human parts of the body wouldn't fail. A grin grew on her lips in appreciation for her creator's forethought.

"I would very much like to see her."

Margot didn't know what it was about D'Anna's plea. Maybe she felt for her. Maybe she'd worn her down. Perhaps it was just that she'd never met anyone who felt so strongly about a place that she loved so much herself. Maybe the fact that she could help made some sense after all or maybe she just didn't want to be alone.

She couldn't believe it when she found herself gesturing for D'Anna to follow.

"I'll call Ellen on the way. If she says no then you turn around and get lost."

D'Anna's eyes went wider than Margot had ever seen them. The eagerness in them almost made her change her mind. With a deep breath she started walking and her birth mother took her place at her side.

"I'm glad you've stopped crying, Specialist."

"Yeah," Margot sighed, "Me too."

-LLA


 

 


SECTOR TRANSLATIONS

E-Fed:

Derzhite pryamo spinu - Yekaterina keep your back straight!

Zakrepite rychag , plecho- Secure your upper arm and shoulder!

Da, Madame – Yes, Madame

Prasti minya. Ya iz praktiki , i ya v plokhoy forme. – I'm sorry. I am out of practice and I'm out of shape.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 28: Chapter 28

Summary:

A few notes: There is a line with an asterisk* beside it. I didn't make that up. It's apparently BSG cannon. Kate Vernon has said in a few interviews that this was the case.

Warnings the same: M for language and mature subject matter.

Please let me know what you think if you find the time.

Chapter Text

LOCATION: BETA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 161B: ASSIGNMENT; AGATHON

YEAR: 2315

"I just don't understand why you have to be the one to go."

"Helo, it's fine. I'll be back by the time you get off duty," Sharon assured while shoving a few more items into her travel duffle. "Ellen asked me to do her this favor and I'm going to do it. We're here to help. Remember?"

"We aren't here to fix her screw ups."

"She didn't screw up," Sharon defended as she put some space between them. He'd been hovering over her the whole morning and it was starting to get on her nerves. "How could she know that D'Anna was going to refuse to leave the basestar once she got there?"

"Because it's D'Anna."

Sharon frowned. In a way she supposed that he was right. D'Anna had never really proven herself to be very stable or trustworthy. Still, in the weeks since her resurrection she'd shown nothing but a willingness to help and a keen interest in doing so. Sharon had actually thought it was good news when she first heard that Margot had taken her birthmother aboard the basestar for troubleshooting assistance. The girl needed some kind of parental figure to show a visible interest in her while Ellen was so busy with Sam. They'd all heard by now that Dr. Le Blanc was being quite distant and dismissive of her. Anders had hardly acknowledged his daughter except when he tried to use her to get to Katya. With Ellen pulled in so many different directions Sharon thought that some alone time between mother and daughter might be positive for both women. Then the news came from the basestar. After a day aboard the ship Margot was ready to leave and report home to her duty on Delta. D'Anna refused to join her. After missing her shift and spending an entire night trying to convince the woman to leave Margot had to call Ellen and admit what was going on. Ellen called and spoke to D'Anna personally and still she wouldn't leave. It was hard to be angry at her because she wasn't exactly putting up a fight. She was simply insisting that she felt more comfortable aboard the cylon ship and denying every attempt made at escorting her back to her designated station. Margot was relieved from her other duties and given the task of staying by the woman's side until she could be convinced. Almost a week had passed since D'Anna first boarded the ship and now Ellen was asking for Sharon's help.

"C'mon, Karl."

"I don't like it."

Sharon zipped up her duffle with a huff before looking back at her husband.

"Ellen knows that D'Anna won't listen to anyone who isn't cylon and she's back home taking a well deserved break from Sam. I'm the only one who D'Anna might listen to."

"What's the big deal with her staying there anyway? She's the only one of us there. It separates us even more," He debated.

"It's the EOC. They don't mind her working there with Margot but they don't want her staying there for long periods of time where she can't be monitored."

"This is ridiculous."

"It's all ridiculous, Helo," Sharon agreed. "What else is new? It's just a few hours."

"Then why are you packing?"

She shrugged.

"Just in case it takes longer."

Helo's mouth went into a hard line and he puffed some air through his nose.

"I just don't like knowing you're flying around out there."

"Ellen is sending me a heavy raider. I'll have centurion escorts. I'll be fine. Besides, Margot is there. I kind of want a chance to talk to her."

Helo's eyes narrowed.

"What for?"

Sharon looked down at her thumbnail.

"I don't know. The last time I saw her she was so…sad. I want to see how she is."

Their visit with Blaze had gone well. Karl was right. It did make Sharon feel a lot better to see him out having fun and celebrating his twenty-second birthday with them, even if it was belated. Though she'd seen their son in high spirits the feeling that she had about he and his peers hadn't gone away. She hated to say goodbye to him when he left. Every time she saw him it became harder and harder to part. She'd experienced so little of her son and she wanted more. Saying goodbye always hurt on both ends. That was when Sharon saw his sadness the most. It was when she saw the regret and anger in his eyes and sensed the pain he felt. He couldn't hide it from her anymore. The similar feelings Sharon had gotten from Margot were still haunting her at night. She knew that her sympathy for the girl was probably permanent. There was no changing anything that Blaze and his peers had gone through but Sharon hoped that if she saw Margot again and offered her some sense of friendship that it might help ease her worry.

"Ya know, Sharon," Helo attempted. "You don't have to worry about all four of these kids. It's hard enough dealing with Blaze."

She couldn't hide the distaste she found for his comment even for a moment.

"That's a pretty frakked up thing to say, Helo."

He frowned realizing how it sounded.

"I just mean that we have a lot to focus on with our own son."

"All of them have suffered the same. Blaze loves them. They've been his family while he didn't have one. He cares about them. That means we should too."

Helo took a step back. Sharon was right. He regretted his words. He just didn't like how much her thoughts of the four had been consuming her lately. She'd been deeply affected by her last interaction with Margot. Her concern only grew ever time she was with Blaze. They were both starting to see that his jovial demeanor was only a small part of who he really was.

"You're right," Helo admitted. "I'm sorry."

"I'm not doing anything more than offering my help. Whether I'm helping Ellen, Margot or even D'Anna at least I'm doing something. You told me that the Colonel mentioned flying you to Delta to talk to Sam. Are you going to refuse?"

"No. No of course not. Though I'm not sure what else I can do. He's in the brig again. He starts fights for no apparent reason. I'm pretty sure that trip is going to be a waste of my time."

Sharon nodded and took a seat on the side of their rack.

"Karl, I've been thinking...Don't you think that it would be better if we were all together?"

He looked back at her and licked his lips before he answered. She could tell he was stalling.

"It's a safety precaution, Sharon. You know that. It makes sense after what happened to Baltar and Caprica. You know what happened after our download too. This station was attacked with all of us on it. Roslin and Adama were here. If something worse happened the four of us could have been gone all at once. They're going to let us get together soon. Just not for any extended periods of time."

She almost rolled her eyes at him. He'd always been so quick to defend orders, to advocate for protocol. Even when he knew it was wrong he had such trouble coming to terms with it.

"But I just feel like it would be more productive to be able to talk to each other without using a com, to see each other without using a video feed or flying to a whole other quadrant. I feel like we should all be with Ellen and the Colonel."

Helo nodded and for a second Sharon thought that he understood.

"You want to be with Blaze."

"No. I mean yes but…That's not what this is about."

"Sharon…"

"Look this isn't about getting to live on the same station as our son. The Tighs brought us here. We should be with them and we should all be together." When Helo didn't answer Sharon she shook her head and stood. Even if he agreed with her he wasn't ready to admit it. She picked up her duffle and shrugged it over her shoulder. "You know what, Helo? You're going to be late for your shift and I have a raider to catch."

LOCATION: DELTA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR C

STATION SECURITY ENFORCEMENT FACILITY

BRIG; HOLDING CELL

YEAR: 2315

Anders looked up from his lap when he heard the hatch creek open on the other side of the bars. He felt like trash. He'd started another fight the night before just for the sake of causing trouble. Two guards came into his cell and took him down. His ribs were bruised and he'd cut his shoulder deep on a broken plastic edge of the old cot he now sat on. He'd refused all medical attention. They eventually slipped him some gauze and tape through the bars and let him cover the laceration himself. Ellen was off station. She was back home on Alpha for another two day trip. Upon learning what happened to him in the brig she sent him a few messages begging him to go peacefully to the ward but he'd ignored her all night. Now it appeared as though they'd sent the ward straight to him. The first thing he noticed was the pair of long shapely legs stepping over the hatchway and into the brig. When his eyes traveled up further he saw that they were sticking out from the bottom of a doctor's lab coat. A young woman stood smiling at him with a med kit in hand. She wore an Orbit Patrol tunic and skirt but the spot on her breast that would have shown her rank was covered under her bright white coat. She wore her dark hair down unlike most of the military woman he saw on station. It hit just below her shoulders and covered any indication of a name above the coat's pocket. A look to her wrist told him that she wasn't from Delta. Her cuff was blue like Ellen's. Whoever she was she'd come from Alpha Station.

"Mr. Anders?"

His first instinct was to send her away but her voice was pleasant and he hadn't been greeted in such a kind way since his resurrection.

"Or do you prefer Doctor?" She posed

He furrowed his brow. Whoever the woman was she knew more about him than he would have figured. He was impressed.

"The Tighs don't like the title," She continued. "Neither do I but I figure people deserve to be addressed for their hard work and study if they choose."

Sam bitterly smirked.

"The Anders who was a scientist is dead. He has been for ages. So has the one who was a ball player, a freedom fighter, a soldier and a pilot."

"Mr. Anders it is."

Sam shook his head.

"Anders is fine."

"In that case I'm Dr. Tawny Xao but just Tawny is fine. "She smiled at him and stuck her free hand through the bars as if she intended for him to get up and shake it. He didn't move from the cot so she put it in her pocket. "Well, Anders, I want to tell you what an honor it is to meet you."

"An honor?" Sam scoffed.

"Yes. Of course. We've been waiting for you for a long time. I've heard so much about what you did on the journey to find Earth. It's a true privilege."

Anders shook his head in dismissal and looked away.

"Mind if I come in?" She asked, keeping her voice even and polite.

"For what?"

"Ellen Tigh sent me. She said that you've been refusing medical help. I'm a physician on Alpha Station. She thought I might be able to patch you up a bit."

"I don't need it."

Tawny looked to where his sleeve was rolled up above his injured shoulder.

"Well you've bled through that poorly constructed bandage. At least let me give you a new one," She posed.

Sam stared at her for a while. She was practical gracious and totally nonthreatening. She was also gorgeous. He nodded, inviting her to enter.

She looked back at the guard to ask him for entry. The marine got up and dialed in the code on the cell panel. It clicked open and Tawny made her way in.

"Ellen was smart to send you."

"Why is that?"

"The doctors here…they don't look like you. She knew I'd let you in."

"Well then," Tawny went on ignoring his comment, "May I take a look at your shoulder?"

Sam nodded and went to take off his bloody torn shirt. When he did Tawny winced at the dark bruise on his side.

"Now that I see them I'm more concerned about your ribs that the cut," She said as she lay the med kit beside him on the cot.

She bent at her knees so that she was at eye level with his contusion. She lightly brushed the pads of her fingers over the mark and it caused him to hiss in pain.

"Sorry," She said taking her hand away.

"I did it to myself," He said with a dismissive shrug.

"However you did it, you're obviously in pain. You probably have a crack or at least a fracture. I can mend it with a laser treatment but we would have to go to the infirmary. It's done in a surgical bay."

"No. No way. I don't need that. It will heal on its own."

Tawny opened the kit and took out a small bottle. She rattled in front of him.

"Then all I can offer you is one of these," She said with a pert smile.

"How 'bout two?"

She popped the cap and waited for him to put out his hand. When she placed the pills in his palm she reached for a hydration pack to help him swallow but by the time she looked back he'd gulped them down dry. She furrowed her brow. He was obviously in more pain than he was letting on. She stood and went to the bars to get the marine guard's attention.

"Corporal? Would you please track me down a cold pack or some ice?"

"Uh, I'm not supposed to leave him, Lieutenant."

"Now, please," She stated, firmly but still with a pleasant tone to her voice. "Thank you."

When the guard got up and left Tawny made her way back to Sam's side.

"I like how you do that," He said between halted breaths.

It hurt just to inhale.

"Do what?"

"How you get people to listen to you without shouting."

"Well it comes with the profession I think. Some listen better than others, believe me."

"You got me to let you in."

"Does that mean I can take a look at your shoulder?"

He shrugged letting her know that he didn't care either way.

Tawny reached for some gloves in her kit. Once they were on she slowly and carefully removed the bloody tape from his shoulder. Under the soaked gauze was a one inch laceration. It wasn't very deep but it was still bleeding a good deal.

"When did this happen?"

"Late last night."

She nodded and reached for the disinfectant and some sterile swabs from her kit.

"Sorry if this burns a bit."

"I'm looking forward to it. It will distract me from the ribs."

"That's one way to look at it."

"The Corporal," Sam started, "he called you Lieutenant."

"I'm a Second Lieutenant, Orbit Patrol," She clarified as she cleaned his wound as carefully and delicately as she could.

"On Alpha," Sam stated.

"Yes."

Tawny was prepared for what she was sure would be coming next. She'd been warned enough. She wasn't worried. It seemed that everyone found Sam's inquisitions threatening. She hadn't experienced it firsthand yet but she didn't really understand what the harm was. Katya was freaked out, she could see that when she spoke of him but the man was behind bars and a quadrant away. What harm could it do to indulge him a bit? Everyone kept denying him and it was getting them nowhere. It was time to try something else.

"You know Saul and Ellen pretty well then?" He asked.

"Yes, I'd say so. I grew up with their daughter," She offered.

Sam's eyes went wide. He didn't even have to bring it up. The doctor had handed him his opening on a silver platter.

"Katya," He said, pleased to have gotten her name out of his mouth without slipping.

He couldn't seem to stop doing it.

"Yes," Tawny confirmed. "This needs to be closed up." She reached for the closure gun in her med kit but when she went to turn it on it surged to life and then powered down within an instant. It was dead. "Damn it. I thought this was charged. I must have packed the wrong one."

"Just leave it."

"Not a chance. You claim that you're no longer a scientist but you must remember simply biology. This thing is going to get infected in no time if I leave it open. We'll have to go to the ward. I can mend your fracture there too under a laser. It's for the best."

"No. No. I'm sorry, Doc. Not going. I've had enough of that place. They hate me there."

Tawny huffed. She was starting to see how frustrating the man could really be. She was tempted to tell him that he was pretty much hated most places on Delta.

"Alright, well I don't have a charger for my gun so," She said routing around in the kit, "I have some local anesthetic. I can do it the old fashioned way and suture you up? If you can hold still, that is."

Sam pressed his lips together.

"Yeah. Yeah okay. I can handle that."

"Ma'am," The marine called as he entered the brig's hatch. "Your ice pack."

"Oh." Tawny walked to grab it from between the bars. "Very good, Corporal. Now if you'll just step back outside I have to conduct a minor procedure on Mr. Anders."

"Lieutenant Xao, I'm not supposed to leave my post."

"Thank you," Tawny told the guard as if he had answered in the affirmative.

He looked confused and then turned and left.

Anders chuckled to himself and shook his head. He was both amused and impressed.

"Now, I'll just need you to lay down on the rack."

Sam did as he was told and lay back with his head on the meager prison pillow.

"Here," She said holding out the ice pack for him. "Keep this on your ribs for now and don't move."

He gave her a short nod and she went about prepping her supplies.

"So you grew up with Kar…Katya," Sam cringed.

Tawny heard the slip but made no indication that she noticed.

"Yes. She's the closest thing I have to a sister."

"You know a lot about her then."

"Of course I do. I've known Kat her entire life," Tawny said as she snapped on some new gloves. "I even have a vague memory of the day she was born."

"Really?"

Sam was more than intrigued. The doctor was so forthcoming and easy to talk to. It was strange after being met with so much resistance for weeks on end but it gave him a measure of hope and relief.

"Mmhmm." Tawny picked up her syringe pistol and gave it a click. "Just a few pinches for the anesthetic and then you won't feel a thing," She warned. Anders put on a brave face but then flinched every time she stuck him. Tawny tried not to giggle and went on with her story."I was five years old. My father has been her doctor from the day she was delivered. He took me to the lab to see her just a few hours after her birth. I remember getting mad because I wanted to take her out and hold her."

"Take her out?"

"Of her gestational chamber," Tawny clarified. "She was born at around twenty-five, maybe it was twenty-six weeks or so. I don't remember. She gestated the rest of the time in an artificial womb. All four children finished their development in one, Margot too," She purposefully added though she was careful with her tone. "It's quite common. It's just an incubation tank. I didn't really know any better at that age. I looked at her like a doll. I just wanted to take her out and play with her."

Sam felt sick and it wasn't just because he'd looked down to see Tawny threading the first suture through his opened flesh.

"Your father, did he do that? I mean what was done to D'Anna and Athena. Did he do that to Roslin?"

Tawny's hands stilled and her face froze.

"No," She answered simply as she resumed stitching.

"He just sat by and watched it happen then?" Sam accused

Tawny stopped her work once again.

"My father knew nothing about it until it was too late," She replied in a far firmer voice than he'd heard her use yet. "By the time he found out there was nothing he could do but care for the life that was created. He was Katya's doctor long before she ever took her first breath. He loves her. He was angered by what his colleagues did. They were his friends. He trusted them and they betrayed him. They left him out of it because they knew he would never agree to go along with what they were trying to do. He was especially close with Dr. Isakoff. He's the one who is responsible for Katya's existence. He did that to Roslin. Not my father," She insisted, and went back to her task. "He's dead though."

"Good riddance."

Tawny ignored Sam's insult and kept going.

"My father's friendship with Isakoff was never the same but Dad always took good care of Katya. Anyway, about three years later the tiny baby who I was so eager to play with was a toddler who wouldn't stop following me around." Tawny smiled at the memory so Anders did too. "Katya went everywhere I went and did everything I did. She drove me crazy. I would complain and my father would laugh say, Nǐ wèn kǔ chī."

"What's that?"

Tawny smirked and her brow rose.

"Literally it means you asked for bitters to eat. I guess he meant that I had asked for my own problem. I wanted to play with her and now there she was; stuck to me like glue. It's the language from the old Eastern Republic. That's where my family came from a long time ago."

"I like that."

"Anyway she grew on me. She still annoys the hell out of me half the time, but I guess I did ask for it and I'd ask again."

"She must be a good friend then."

"She is. She's as loyal as they come. We both grew up only children. She's my sister."

"She's a pilot."

"Yes," Tawny answered as she continued to work with delicate precision. "She's quite talented. Last year she became the youngest female officer to be promoted to captain since my own mother."

"Your mom's a pilot."

"Was. She was killed in combat when I was two. I don't remember her."

"Sorry."

"That's okay."

"Would you tell me more about her?"

"Kat?"

"Would you?"

Tawny bit her lip in consideration.

"Mind if I ask why you'd like to know?"

"I wouldn't be able to answer you if you did."

She paused at his answer. It sounded honest. For now Anders seemed to be behaving quite amicably. She felt a little strange about giving him so much information about Katya. She knew that the captain wouldn't like it but it seemed to be keeping him calm while she had a needle and surgical thread held to his open wound. She decided to tread carefully. She wouldn't tell him anything that he couldn't find out from anyone else.

"Well, let's see; her call sign in Koshka, that means cat in Eastern Federalist. Her adoptive ancestors came from that sector. It was a pet name from her father and you must hear Ellen refer to her as kitten," Tawny mused with a roll of her eyes.

Anders nodded his head, careful not to move much. Ellen had never said it to him directly but he'd noticed many times when he looked over her shoulder and saw her sending messages on her cuff or when he eavesdropped on calls she made to the Colonel. He'd made a mental note of everything that he'd heard her say about the young woman so far.

"She was trained in biology but it was always in her to fly."

"Biology?" Sam scoffed.

"Yes. You two have something in common," Tawny smiled.

"Wait," He narrowed his eyes. "That doesn't make sense."

"Doesn't it? Her adoptive father was a biochemist. The Tighs were each biological engineers just like you were at one point. She was raised by scientists."

"So she's smart? Like book-smart?"

"Book-smart?" Tawny furrowed her brow trying to figure out what he meant by the term. She'd never heard it used before. "Well if you mean academically then yes."

"I just didn't think…"

"Hold still," Tawny warned. "Anyway, she has a smart mouth too."

Sam relaxed and his lips curled into a smile.

"That…that makes more sense," He said causing Tawny to frown in confusion. "What else?"

"Huh…well when we were young I taught her violin. We can speak each other's ancestral languages to a point."

"What else?"

"Umm…Oh, this a pretty big one; before enlisting she was one of the most talented ballerinas in Orbit."

Sam cringed.

"Ballerina? Like a…a dancer?"

"Mmhm."

"Like a frilly, fru-fru prancy kind of dancing?"

Tawny raised her brow at his description.

"I prefer to look at it as graceful and elegant but okay."

"I don't get it. Doesn't seem like it fits."

"Why?" She challenged. She didn't understand why he seemed to be assuming so much about someone he didn't even know. She was starting to feel the strange vibe that everyone else had been talking about. "You've yet to really meet her. What do you mean by that?"

"I just mean…she's a pilot. Must be pretty tough."

"She is. So is ballet. It takes skill and endurance, years of strength training. It takes pain and commitment. I've seen my father seal up third degree skin tears on the soles of her feet. She'll probably need a hip replacement by the time she's sixty. Just because one might look good doing something doesn't mean it's not hard."

"You sound like you know from experience, Doc."

Tawny looked up at Anders with a wry grin.

"I used to be a gymnast," She winked.

When he smiled she laughed and looked back down to his shoulder.

"So now…now she's married."

"Yes. Not quite a year yet," She confirmed as she clipped the last suture.

"Ellen says she married one of the others. The son of Gaius Baltar and a Six."

"Alexi."

"What's he like?"

Tawny paused before she answered.

"You've...encountered him."

Sam grimaced.

"I hardly remember. Ellen told me I just…All I remember is her."

Tawny narrowed her eyes and swallowed.

"I um…I treated the bruises on her arm and side when she came home to Alpha."

She wanted to let him know that she'd seen the results of his first interaction with Katya.

Sam closed his eyes tight and sighed.

"I hardly remember doing that either. I didn't mean…I'm…I'm sorry and I want to tell her that. What do you think? Do you think Kara could ever forgive me?"

"Katya," Tawny corrected with scowl.

She wouldn't let it go this time. It was far too repetitive to be a simple slip of the tongue.

"Right."

"You said Kara."

"I did?"

"Yes."

"Sorry."

Tawny titled her head.

"Anders when you say Kara do you mean Captain Thrace?"

"My wife," Sam clarified.

"I've heard a lot about her from the Colonel's stories."

Sam nodded.

"Are you married, Doc?"

"To my job," Tawny shrugged as she reached for a bandage. She covered his freshly sutured wound and then looked into his over-curious eyes. "Why have you been causing so much trouble, Anders?"

Sam huffed and looked around the cell.

"I honestly don't know. I feel like I'm going out of my mind here. I just have this pull."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't even know what I mean. You must think I'm crazy."

"No. No I wouldn't say that."

"Do you think that you might be able to convince Katya to come talk to me?"

"No," Tawny answered without missing a beat. "And I'm sorry but I hope you understand that I have no intentions of asking her. She can't leave Alpha Station at the moment."

"Why?"

"Captain Isakoff has my confidentially as her doctor and herfriend," She answered curtly.

Sam inhaled deeply and then let out a puff of air.

"A couple of weeks ago, I think it was the day of the last attack...I could have sworn… I just had a feeling that she was hurt or in trouble or in some kind of pain or distress. I wanted to get to her but no one would let me. Ellen says that she's alright. Is she telling me the truth?"

Tawny felt her stomach flip. If Anders was telling the truth then his strange intuition would have lined up perfectly with the night she'd rushed Katya to the civilian hospital. She cleared her throat before answering.

"I can't share Kat's personal business with you."

"I know, I know you're her doctor and her friend. I get that. I do. You can't just tell me if she's okay?"

Tawny pressed her lips together and thought.

"You have no reason to fear for her health. I can tell you that."

Anders nodded. That satisfied him. When Tawny started to strip her gloves he glanced down at his shoulder.

"You're done?"

She nodded and started to return her supplies to the med kit.

"Yes. I have been for a while. Didn't feel a thing, hm?"

"No. You're good."

"You should let me mend your ribs."

"Doc?"

"Yes?"

"Why'd you tell me all of that?"

"Tell you what?"

"About Katya. Everyone else treats me like a viscous stalker when I ask."

"Well you have to admit that you've given her loved ones cause to be concerned. I may have just met you but your reputation precedes you in more ways than one," She admitted. "I'm afraid of what would happen if Alexi crossed paths with you again."

"I'm not afraid of Baltar's kid," Sam scoffed. It made Tawny smirk. He was obviously telling the truth when he claimed to have no recollection of the sergeant. She doubted he would be as confident if he had. "And besides," Sam added, "I actually want to apologize to him too."

"You know what?" Tawny posed as she closed her kit.

"What?"

"That might not be a bad start."

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 139B: ASSIGNMENT; ISAKOFF/PETROV

YEAR: 2315

Laura had woken up feeling completely miserable. She'd toss and turned through awful dreams all night long and then awoke in a tremendous amount of pain. She couldn't believe it was happening again. Every month since she'd resurrected she'd prayed it would stop and every month so far she'd endured the result of Ellen Tigh's stupid screw up. She could truly ring her neck. Laura tried her best to deal with it. She tried to think of it as a reminder of what her new body had been through without her. She tried to embrace it. She tried to own each deep ache and pain as if it was some kind of testimonial to the birth of her child, as if it could ever make up for her missing it. It couldn't. Nothing could. She knew that she was foolish to torture herself in such a way and so eventually she looked for a bit of relief. When standard pain pills didn't cut it she'd gone for the prescription that Tawny had given her the first time around. After four months it was finally empty. Sucking up her humiliation yet again she'd messaged the young doctor for a refill. It took the better part of the morning before she finally got an answer. Tawny told her that she was held up off station at the moment but assured her that something would be called in and delivered to her cabin by the afternoon. Strangely, she'd followed it with another message telling Laura to head to Katya's and that she would have something for her that would help.

Laura was mortified at the thought but when she couldn't stand the pain anymore she made her way to the captain's cabin trailed by Vladi as her guard. She'd been standing outside the hatch of Katya's quarters for a while now but there was no answer. She was almost glad. She resigned herself to waiting for Tawny's afternoon delivery and decided to head back to her own cabin for another hot shower and a nap. Though she was glad to have saved herself the embarrassment she was slightly disappointed. These days she welcomed any excuse to interact with Katya, even at her worst. She sighed and turned to leave but was met face to face by the captain herself.

"Looking for me?"

Laura jumped.

"Oh, Katya! You scared me."

The young woman was in civilian clothes; a tight pair of black pants that could have been a second skin and a simple grey tank. Her hair was down and she stood with an impish smirk on her face. Laura always preferred to see Katya out of uniform. She looked far more youthful and approachable.

"Tawny said you'd be coming by. I'm sorry. I had to come all the way from the other side of the station and then stop at my parent's cabin to get your…well…just come on in."

Katya swiftly shrugged passed Laura and to get to Vladi.

The captain grinned as she placed her hand on the machine's chest plate.

"Yes, Vladi. Ellen found Casey for me. I brought it the other day. You're very thoughtful."

Katya turned to see the bewildered expression on Laura's face and it made her chuckle under her breath. She moved to hatch and ran her cuff over the panel. When it clicked she opened the door and gestured for Laura to follow. They entered leaving the centurion behind.

"I hope Tawny didn't bother you, Katya. You didn't come back from the civilian side just for this did you?"

"Nope. I was coming back anyway. I was there all morning. She just asked me to do her a favor. Alexi took my place anyway."

"It seems like you've been over on that side of the station a lot lately."

"Re-training." Katya half lied.

"How's it going?"

Laura didn't know what else to ask.

"Agonizingly slow," Katya answered honestly in either case. "You don't look so good," She grimaced.

Laura shrugged.

"I don't feel so good."

"Well then sit down," Katya instructed thumbing over to the sofa. "After the morning I had I'm not interested in picking anyone up off of the floor."

"Katya, I really can just grab it and go. You're probably busy and I'm kind of tired anyway."

"I'm off all afternoon. I have a briefing later this evening but that's it. If you're tired then sit. It's not ready anyway. I had to grab Ellen's stuff."

Suddenly Laura was starting to wonder exactly what Tawny had sent her for. She figured that she'd be picking up a bottle of pain pills.

"Stuff? What stuff?"

Katya reached into the back pocket of her pants and pulled out a small plastic bag. She tossed it to Laura with a sly grin.

Laura caught it between both palms and looked down at the muddled green substance held within the little pouch.

"What the frak is this?"

"Beta Bud," Katya said matter-of-factly as she turned and went to the kitchen. "Would you sit? You look like death. Why the hell are you so pale?" She called over her shoulder.

When Katya turned her back Laura put the small bag to her nose and smelled it. It was obviously some kind of herb.

"Hello?" Katya called, annoyed that Laura had yet to answer her.

"Huh?"

"What gives? I get a message telling me to get this for you then you show up looking like hell, no offense," Katya continued while opening a few drawers and cupboards in the kitchenette. "Tawny asked me to get this for you. That means it must be for medicinal purposes, so what's wrong with you?"

Katya finally found the small disk-like object that she'd been looking for and then went about closing the opened cabinets and drawers.

"I'm just a little under the weather."

"No shit," Katya said as she made her way back to where Laura stood. "Are you going to sit or not?"

Laura nodded and palmed the little bag before silently making her way to the sofa and perching herself on the edge of a cushion.

"So what's wrong?" Katya asked again.

She kneeled on the floor by Laura's legs and set the small device she'd gotten from the kitchen on the coffee table.

"You know what, Katya? I'm not really sure this is necessary. Tawny is having some pills sent over later in the afternoon."

Katya turned, eyed her with a raised brow and then put a palm out to ask for the bag. Laura slowly placed it in her hand and Katya turned and went on about her business as she spoke.

"Tawny usually only recommends this for two reasons; either you're in some kind of pain or you feel like you're going to throw up. If it's the latter, get off of my sofa," She teased, though it took Laura a second to realize she was kidding.

"I'm in a little pain."

"A little? That's why you look like you're about to snap?" She posed as she shook some of the dried green herb into the small round container.

"It's not that bad."

"Well maybe you should go to Med Ward," Katya suggested while capping the device.

"No. It's not like that. There's really nothing to do about it."

"Fine. Whatever," Katya shrugged.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm grinding it," She explained as she started to twist the top of the container. "So Li-Li loves you," Katya stated as she went about her preparations.

"Hm?"

"Li-Ming. Your student?"

"Oh, right. Sorry. She does?"

"That's what her mom says. She told me that Li-Li loves coming to see you now. She says it's her favorite part of the day."

Laura felt her lips turn up into a smile in spite of her pain. She was fairly confident that things were going well with the little girl but it was still nice to hear it confirmed.

"I like her quite a lot too. She's very bright. She also happens to be so frakking adorable that it's hard to concentrate on coursework. I just want to play with her the entire time."

Katya smiled and nodded.

"You just let Alexi know when you think you're ready to handle another. He'll arrange it."

"Maybe soon, I hope. I really do adore Li-Ming but I'm still getting used to it again."

"Well it seems like you've made a little friend."

"I guess so. She told me that she likes you very much."

"Yeah, well, kids don't really know any better," Katya laughed with a shrug. "I've known her since she was born."

Laura bit her lip and watched Katya pull another little object out of her pocket. It was long and thin, resembling a pen with no tip.

"What's that?"

"It's Ellen's vaporizer."

Laura grimaced.

"Does she know that you took this?"

"No. But she'll figure it out soon. She's home for once. She'll probably reach for it tonight before dinner with how stressed out she's been. It's not just for aches and pains ya know."

"I'm not sure that I feel comfortable taking her things."

"You didn't take it. I did. I'll replace it. I didn't have time to go find mine. Alexi and I haven't touched this stuff in months. Tawny couldn't just send this to you. The approval process for medicinal use takes a few days. Ellen always has plenty. Besides if she asks I'll just blame it on someone else like I usually do. Maybe Uncle Saul, probably Blaze though. We'll see who annoys me most during the evening briefing."

"Katya…"

"I'm kidding. Damn you're so high strung," She chastised. "You need this for more than whatever it is that hurts."

Laura grimaced. She watched as Katya unscrewed the top of the vaporizer and poured in the herb that she'd ground down to a powder.

"So…it'll…I mean will this make me, uh…"

"High? Yes, but no more so than a big glass of whisky. You're not planning on operating any heavy machinery today are you, Laura?" She asked as she turned to hold out the device for her.

Laura stared down at it.

"No."

"Then you'll be fine," Katya told her with a wink. She clicked a tiny button on the side of the thin cylinder and it took on a red glow. "It has to heat up for a second. After that it should last you all afternoon. At least until your meds arrive."

"And what is this…exactly?"

"Cannabis sativa," Katya announced. "It's a plant. A weed, really. It's grown on Beta in a special greenhouse. It's used for all kinds of things; medicines mostly but people use it for recreation. We really aren't supposed to get it anywhere except from the system's agriculture distributor. They are really strict with how much you can buy and how often unless you have a medical prescription. It's illegal to resell but no one listens."

"How does Ellen get hers?"

Katya rolled her eyes and gave a little chuckle.

"Aunt Ellen is kind of Head Bitch in Charge around here, if you haven't noticed. And I mean that in the most endearing way possible. She's the reason we're all still alive. Usually people don't ask what or how she does what she does. She just does it. And she deserves to if you ask me," Katya shrugged. She leaned up off of the floor and scooted on to the sofa beside Laura. She wagged the vaporizer in front of her when she wouldn't grab it. "Well, are you going to take this thing or what?"

Laura slowly grasped it between her fingers and looked down at its little glowing light. She remembered the last time that she'd smoked anything like it. It was in Cottle's Sick Bay. It was the last little joint of New Caprican weed that she had left. She and Bill shared it together. Though she was hooked up to tubes and wires that were pumping into her body it made her stomach settle and for a few moments she was happy with Bill in their little haze behind the curtain. It made her remember the only times of peace they had together during the first few months on New Caprica before the invasion. Bill would come down from Galactica to visit. He'd stay the weekend in her little tent. They would smoke and make love, enjoying whatever they could offer one another before he had to return back to his ship. Then he was gone. The time of peace was over. She was living a nightmare and sometimes memories of his smoky kisses were all that got her through to the next day.

"I'm not sure that I should."

"So did I do all of this for nothing?" Katya pressed.

"I'm sorry," Laura sighed. "I just don't know if I'm in the right state of mind for it," She confessed.

Katya tilted her head and chewed on her bottom lip.

"What if I do it with you?"

"What?"

"I'll smoke some with you."

It had been a long while since Katya had been able to partake in anything enjoyable. She needed to destress. She needed some kind of distraction; something to make her feel like everything was going to be alright, even if it wasn't. Tawny told her that it would be fine now on occasion as long as she cataloged the dates and what she ingested. There would be time to make up for it. She made a mental note to record it in her journal before she went to bed.

"You have a meeting," Laura countered.

"Any buzz this will give me will be gone by then, though it honestly might make the briefing a bit easier to handle," She joked. "If I had LSO duty tonight I wouldn't even think of it but all I have to do is get through a report and nod while other people are talking. I think I can handle it."

She put her hand out and Laura hesitantly handed the device back.

Laura watched Katya take a long smooth drag and then hold it as she relaxed back into the sofa cushions. It didn't seem much different than anything she'd smoked before. It smelled different though. Something about it was almost familiar and when Katya exhaled the vapor Laura realized that it was the smell of Earth coming from her daughter's lungs.

"Tawny has an aunt on the other side of the station. She works with mostly holistic medicine. She used to have Ellen make this stuff into a tea for me when I had bad menstrual cramps," Katya mused with a little chuckle as she offered the small pipe back to Laura. When she looked up she saw that Laura's once pale cheeks had taken on a flushed pink hue. Finally she understood. "Oh…" She said with another giggle. "Huh...Really?"

Laura gave her a warning glare before taking the device into her own fingers. Now she needed it for sure. She remembered Ellen's cackle when she'd first gone to her all those months ago. She could tell that Katya was holding back the same reaction. Ellen really had taught the girl some tactless habits. The young woman looked nothing like Ellen Tigh but no one could deny that she was her pride and joy.

"Sorry," Katya said raising her palms and failing at suppressing a wry smirk. The perturbed look on Laura's face just made her want to laugh more. "None of my business. I get it. Just quit looking at me like that. I'm not gunna put in an order for a baby brother or anything."

Laura's cheeks went hot again and she rolled her eyes. She put the pipe to her lips and finally inhaled. She couldn't hold the vapor as long as she'd once been able to. She was reminded of her fairly new and inexperienced lungs.

"It was Ellen's doing," Laura remarked through some small coughs. "We think that she was a little off on her timing when she had Sydra stop the artificial aging process in stasis. Not by much but enough to…well…" She trailed off giving up on rest of the explanation.

Katya nodded with a quiet snicker.

"Got it. Hm. Okay...well in that case, hold on."

Katya seemed to have a thought. She quickly sat up and left the couch for the kitchen once again.

Laura took another puff while she was gone. She listened as the girl made some noise rummaging around in the cabinets. Soon she thought that the sounds had started to take on a bit of an echo. By the time Katya returned Laura was sure that she was starting to feel the beginning effects of the herb.

"Here," Katya said as she sat.

She put a bottle of water down on the coffee table in front of Laura and held out two rather large capsules in her palm.

"What's this?"

"It's the dietary supplement that my father made. Take it," Katya instructed. She saw Laura frown and it made her roll her eyes. "C'mon, it's loaded with iron. Tawny always says that's important." The doctor actually had her taking a double dose over the last two weeks and the advice was fresh in her ears. "You were white as a sheet when you came in here. Just take it. It can't hurt."

Laura hesitated for a moment but then nodded. She wasn't excited about swallowing the oversized vitamins. They looked like something an Arelon farmer would give a sick horse. Still, it was sweet and thoughtful of Katya to offer whatever help she could think of. She traded Katya the vaporizer for the pills and knocked them back with a swig of water. They really were quite large and she couldn't believe that Katya had supposedly lived off of them as a child for a full year. If it wasn't for the aide of the Beta Bud that was slowly making its effects known, Laura was sure that she would have gagged. She couldn't imagine a five year old choking them down in the name of science. It made her want to gag even more. Suddenly she felt awful at the prospect of gaining relief from something that she believed her child had been abused to make. The thought made the pills threaten to rise in her throat and she had to swallow hard to suppress the sensation.

Katya took another drag and let it out.

"You okay?" She asked, waiting for Laura to nod before she went on. "I should warn you that this stuff doesn't really make it hurt any less," She said as she passed it back to Laura. "You just stop caring."

"I can settle for that," Laura answered before taking another slow hit. "How did you get this from Ellen without her noticing?"

Katya shrugged and chuckled softly to herself.

"Uncle Saul has the day off until the briefing. Ellen is only here for the next forty-eight hours. The bedroom door was closed when I got there. You do the math. I got in and got out."

"I really wish you hadn't done that, Katya."

"Really? Do you feel any better?"

Laura paused and had to think for a moment.

"Yes. Yes I guess I do."

"Then just be grateful. I'll get the rest back before they even notice. Believe me, they are otherwise occupied right now. With Ellen away so much they take full advantage of their limited time together."

"So how would one make this into a tea?" Laura posed, redirecting the awkward subject.

She thought it strange how casually Katya could speak of her parents love life but she supposed it was she who had the issue. Katya had obviously been raised to be comfortable with that natural part of life. Somehow Laura expected nothing else from Ellen Tigh.

"Hell if I know. Tawny's aunt would prepare it so that Ellen didn't have to do much else but add hot water."

Lian Xoa made all kinds of teas. She'd given Katya one back when she was staying in the civilian ward. It was bitter and hard to swallow but the results came rather quickly. Eventually its effects would have their desired benefit. For now the side effects just made Katya uncomfortable and it made Blaze stare even more than usual.

"Why do you ask? You like it. Don't you?" Katya ribbed.

"It's not bad," Laura admitted.

"The tea won't get you blitzed though. It's made from a specific part of the plant. It's not much more than a natural painkiller. Ellen wasn't letting me get stoned at thirteen just to get rid of a stomach ache. She's been sort of a progressive mom but even she has her limits."

Laura rolled her eyes.

"I'm sure she does," She said somewhat caustically.

The vapor was clouding her judgment. She hadn't thought to hide her distaste for Ellen the way she usually would in front of Katya and suddenly she felt guilty, even nervous. She offered her a subtle apologetic look and a shrug.

"I know that you don't like her, Laura," Katya said plainly. "It's okay. I'm not going to tear your head off over it again. I never asked you to like her. I just don't want you badmouthing her."

"I'm sorry, Katya. I didn't mean to disrespect your mother."

Katya nodded and almost smiled. Everyone always called Ellen her aunt. Laura called Ellen her mom. She had from the start and Katya appreciated it.

"The truth is," Laura continued, "we never knew one another very well. The history that we do have together is…complicated and strange to say the least."

Laura offered the slender pipe back to Katya.

She took it and held it between her fingers but she didn't bring it to her lips. She was already pretty lit. It had come on fast now that her body wasn't used to it anymore. She could feel her cheeks starting to tingle and her breathing was starting to vibrate in her ears.

"The very first time it happened to me I was in a ton of pain," Katya started, deciding to take another short drag. "I was angry and kind of confused too. Ellen and I had a long talk but…it didn't really go so well." She thought back to the solemn conversation that they had that day. Ellen was patient and compassionate but she was honest. She told Katya that she was different and that what she was going through wouldn't mean the same for her as it did for other young woman. She gave Katya some harsh truths and then shared some of her own. "I wanted to be alone. I wanted her to get out of my room and let me curl up into a ball but she wouldn't leave. She sat on my bed and she hugged on to me and she started to project. At first I refused to share it. I was doing my best to block her out and get her to leave…but she wouldn't give in and so eventually I did. I didn't understand what it was at first, what she was showing me. I'd never seen the inside of a real house before. It had soft cushy chairs and a big window that looked out over a cluster of pretty trees…and it was raining. It was the first time I'd ever seen rain. I thought that it looked like the sky was crying…but I really liked the sound that it made when it hit the roof. I don't know why. It just relaxed me. It made me feel better. It made me forget for a while. It was like Ellen just knew what I needed at the time. I try to remember it sometimes on my own; the sound of rain on a rooftop. I try to close my eyes and block everything out until I hear nothing but the rain."

Laura found something strangely sad about the story. She couldn't pin it down. At first she thought it was because she was hearing yet another story where Ellen had comforted her child and shared a milestone while she was totally absent and unable. The more Katya spoke the more Laura realized there was something else to it. It wasn't her own sadness coming through. It was Katya's and she could actually feel it. There was an air to her voice that Laura couldn't blame on the pot. It sounded laced with old pain. She didn't know what it was and she was still too wary to probe for more than what Katya would offer. She didn't understand what was behind the story but she understood why Katya had shared it. It was another reminder of what Ellen Tigh had done for her. It was another reminder as to why she held the woman in such high esteem and why she would always defend her without question.

"I know that she can read me," Katya continued, "But that's not it. Somehow she always just...knows."

"Read you?"

"Yeah. Like…sense what I'm thinking or feeling. Sort of how I talk to Vladi. It's part of a cylon ability; scanning for information. Mine is weaker than Saul or Ellen's, even Alexi's but I can still do it."

"You can tell what people are thinking?"

Laura looked slightly horrified.

"Just cylon. I guess you could say that but only if they let me or at least aren't actively blocking it. We try not to do it as a general rule. It's intrusive and it isn't fair. It's supposed to be used for the sharing of information between the cylon stream but my abilities are too weak to do that. Sometimes Ellen and I use it to talk. It isn't exactly words but we know what the other means. Though somehow I think she'd know what I was feeling even if I didn't share her abilities."

Laura felt herself shiver. She thought projection was scary but cylon scanning gave her a new element to fear. She knew that she needed to say something to smooth over her slip up so she forced herself.

"No matter how I feel about her, Katya," Laura offered, "I understand how much you love her and I think that you've been lucky to have her."

"She loves all four of us," Katya said softly. "She was the first one who wasn't looking for anything from us. She just wanted us to love her back and we do...so much."

As Katya spoke Laura watched as her eyes started to lose their focus. It almost seemed as though she was talking to herself, as though Laura wasn't even there anymore.

Katya shook her head a bit and brought herself back from wherever her mind had started to trail away to.

"Plus she has great weed," She added, lifting the mood with a smile and a wink.

"That she does," Laura agreed.

Katya took another long hit and blew it out with her words.

"This stuff used to give me some weird dreams though. Not scary. Just weird."

She passed the pipe back to Laura and then eased herself back so that she sunk as far as she could into the sofa cushions.

"How have your nightmares been?" Laura attempted.

Katya laughed and palmed her forehead.

"I set myself up for that one, didn't I?" She said shaking her head and giving a little groan. "That's okay. I guess I'm high enough to talk about it."

"If I would have known that this was all it took I would have tracked some down weeks ago," Laura teased.

"Very funny. I'm sorry. I've had lot going on. Too much," Katya lamented, "And to be honest I just don't like talking and sharing…at least with some stuff. I can usually talk to Ellen but even with her…some things I just can't. I know that sounds weird."

"No…" Laura shook her head." It doesn't sound weird at all. It sounds familiar. I struggled with that my entire life. I actually feel like a hypocrite asking you to do what I never could but…I feel like it's important."

"I'm not sure what I can tell you, Laura. I don't know what you're looking for."

"I don't either. You said that you thought your dream came true. You told me that much and then you stopped. What did you mean?"

Katya held two of her fingers out asking Laura for the pipe. She handed it over and Katya took in a long slow lungful.

"That one is the same every time," She started as she let the vapor out. "I'm in my falcon and I just feel that spinning. I feel that awful dizzy sensation of rotating out of control and I know that I can't do anything about it."

"You're flying?"

"No. No. I'm just out there in Orbit, spinning or maybe my bird isn't but I feel like I am. I'm alone. No one is out there with me. No other traffic, no raiders. My vision is going crazy. I see Alpha and then the moon and…I see Earth and I know that there isn't any way I'm ever getting down there. It just repeats over and over; Alpha, the moon, and the Earth, until I wake up…or more often Alexi wakes me up."

Katya deliberately left out the part about the com system. Husker and Helo; the ancient call signs that haunted so many of her dreams, even ones that seemed like they had nothing to do with flight. She'd heard them over the gargled com system, from a strange little girl at the beach and now she'd even started to hear Sam utter the names as he invaded her nightly terrors. There was no way that she would share the dreams of Sam with Laura. She hated that she even remembered them herself. As horrifying as some of her nightmares had been over the last few months it was the recent dreams of Sam Anders which frightened Katya most of all. The dreams of Anders could hardly be called nightmares but they disturbed her as much as any nightmare could. She dreamt of she and Sam playing ball, of them drinking and laughing. She even dreamt of making love to him. Those dreams shook her to her core. She hated them more than any other. The very thought of being in the same room with Sam made her cringe in her waking moments yet she was having vivid and familiar dreams of making desperate and passionate love to a man she didn't even know. It made her sick. It made her feel a guilt she'd never known before. She loved her husband so much. She'd never loved anyone else but Alexi. She didn't want to be with anyone else but him. It didn't make any sense. The first time it happened she woke in a panic, totally mortified. She could hardly process it. She didn't know what else to do. She woke Alexi from a deep sleep and went down on him without explanation just to assuage her own sudden crippling guilt. Though he was surprised and grateful at first he later seemed unnerved by her frantic insistence. She knew it seemed odd to him. Had it been in the head as he showered for work, or even a stolen moment in an arms locker during the day he wouldn't have thought twice but an hour before the station com sounded reveille was suspicious. She never did it again, at least not after dreams of Sam, not to covertly repent and ease her own shame. If Alexi ever knew that was what she was doing he wouldn't want her to touch him. She could never tell him and she certainly would never tell Laura. She didn't want to tell anyone. She wanted to die with that secret. For now the partial admission of her signal dream would have to do.

"At first I thought it was from my collision," Katya continued. "It made enough sense. I was on a lot of heavy medication after that." She sighed wishing that she'd never swallowed a single pill. She was kicking herself for it now. The ramifications of her wreck and her following treatment were one of their biggest concerns now. She thought of it every day. "It was the worst accident I've ever been in. I figured the dreams were just residual stress, some kind of post trauma."

"But now you don't think that's it," Laura finished for her.

Katya shook her head.

"No. There's no way. I know what it is now. I know it because I felt it. You did too or you wouldn't have wound up with that gash on your head. I've been dreaming of the signal long before it ever started affecting any of us."

Katya took the vaporizer and leaned over the coffee table to repack it. They'd both already smoked more than either one of them should have but she knew that if she was going to make herself keep talking she would probably have to keep smoking.

Laura thought about the dream for a while. Though it was intriguing that Katya seemed to sense the signal before it had ever became a problem she couldn't find much else to mull over. She'd been hoping for something that might help explain her own dreams. So they weren't sharing important visions like those she'd experienced with Caprica and Sharon. Maybe the beach in their dreams was all that they shared, maybe it was just personal connection having nothing to do with the bigger picture. Even if that was the case Laura couldn't ignore the fact that they were suffering from a similar experience.

"Are you still keeping a journal?" She asked.

Katya nodded while pouring some more of the ground herb into the device.

"I write in it every night. Sometimes even during the day if I think of something and I have the time."

Laura was pleased to hear it. She was almost proud of it.

"Do you write your dreams down?"

Katya scowled as she twisted the pipe back together.

"What is this? An interview?"

She was fine with letting Laura know that she'd started a journal. It was her advice after all; the only advice she'd ever given her. She just didn't want to divulge what she wrote in it.

"I already shared with the class, Ms. Roslin. I'm not the only one who wakes up screaming at night," She challenged as she pushed the little button on the device once again. When it took on the red glow she offered it to Laura. "It's your turn now. Lay it on me."

Laura took it the pipe and studied it as if she were seeing it for the first time all over again.

"There's one that repeats more often than the rest," She admitted after a long pause. "Just like yours. It's more persistent than the others. It's just…I've never explained it out loud. Not even to Bill. It's...bizarre."

"Well," Katya shrugged, "let's get crazy. Tell me."

"It's disturbing."

"And what was mine? A fairy tale? Just tell me."

With another pull on the vaporizer Laura released the earthy breath from her lungs and nodded.

"Well I wake up in a resurrection tub," She started.

"Like you did in Med Ward?"

Laura shook her head and looked away.

"No. Not like that. I mean it's the same kind of tub, I suppose. It looks exactly like the ones that Ellen used but I'm not in Med Ward. I don't know where I am. I look around and it's a strange space. I can't see any walls. It's like the edges of the area I'm in are made up of pure blackness and I'm in the only spot that's illuminated by an unseen light. The floor is shiny and as black as the abyss around it and it's all surrounded by glass pillars that don't seem to be holding up anything. There's no ceiling, just more darkness." Laura cringed at how ludicrous her description sounded as she said it out loud. She couldn't even look at Katya as she spoke. "My tank isn't the only one," She went on in a measured and careful voice. "I look over and Bill is in one close by. I struggle to get out of the tub. The fluid is covering me and I slip and slide and fall for what seems like an eternity before I get to him. When I'm eventually by his side I try to wake him up but I can't no matter what I do. When I finally stop trying I look around…and I see more tubs."

"More?"

"Yes. Besides mine and Bill's there are maybe eight or nine others. Some are empty and some are full."

"Who's in the others?"

"Sharon and Helo are there. Sam and D'Anna too. They're asleep just like Bill. I can't wake them. The rest are empty…at least at first."

"What do you mean?"

"I sit by Bill's tank for a while and then I hear a sound. It's always the same; like water rippling. I think that it might be him moving in his tub but when I look he's as still as ever. I hear it again and I realize it's coming from an empty tank set a few feet behind his. I'm still coated in that cylon slop, soaked to the bone. I slip and fall and struggle all the way over to take a look. Then I peer in the tank and its fluid is moving. It's making little waves. It scares me and I decide to hurry back to Bill but…before I can move to turn around a body pops up in the tub. I know that I should expect it by now but it scares the hell out of me every time. I fall back and I have to fight to claw myself up on the side of the tub to see who it is."

"And who is it?"

Laura bit her lip before she answered. As much as she'd wanted to discuss this with Katya it wasn't easy.

"Baltar," She sighed, almost hating to admit that he was in yet another one of her visions. "By the time I find the strength to compose myself I hear another whoosh of fluid. I turn to see the tank beside his isn't empty any longer either."

"Caprica?" Katya guessed.

"Yes."

"So it's the eight of you in resurrection tanks," Katya surmised. "The eight of you that were cloned."

"Yes but Baltar and Caprica…they don't stay. They disappear. They sink down into the depths of their tubs from where they came. I'm filled with such terror and confusion at that point that I can hardly stand on my own feet anymore. Then…then…that's when I hear shots and explosions in the distance followed by this loud crack. It echoes in my ears and startles me. I lose my footing and fall again. I hit the floor hard and the slick fluid makes me go sliding into the side of Caprica's tub. When I hit it I hear more liquid move around inside and when I look up it isn't empty anymore. There's a body in it again. Then Balter's tub does the same."

"They come back?"

"No. It isn't them. They're…replaced."

"By who?"

Laura swallowed. She didn't want to tell Katya this part but she had shared her dream and now Laura had to do the same. She was just so afraid of her reaction.

"It's Blaze…and Alexi," Laura admitted.

She watched the color drain out of Katya's face.

"What?" She whispered.

"The boys…they replace Baltar and Caprica. Alexi is in his mother's tub and Blaze is in Baltar's." Laura winced. "Do…do you want me to stop, Katya?"

Katya opened her mouth to speak but then couldn't. She rubbed at her eyes. They were starting to burn from the vapor. When she looked back at Laura her vision was hazy and blurred.

"No…no. Go on. What then?"

"Then the cracking sound starts to get louder. I start hearing more shots sound from far away and the floor starts to rumble. I look up at one of the surrounding glass pillars. It's cracking. It's once smooth structure is webbed with fractures and it's trembling. I look around and they're all like that. All I can think of is getting back to Bill and I struggle the entire way over, crawling on my hands and knees. I slip once more and it sends me sliding into another empty tub. When I hit it more cylon goo falls over its sides and onto my back and I just know that if I turn my head I'll see a body."

Katya closed her eyes as if it would make the answer easier to hear.

"Whose?"

"I get back on my knees and fight to crawl to Bill's tub. I don't want to look but then I can't help it. I glance back over my shoulder and I can see that it's Margot."

"Margot," Katya breathily echoed. She gave a little moan. She didn't want to hear anymore but she couldn't just shut Laura down now. "What then?"

"I get to Bill. He still won't wake up. Everything around us is shaking. I hear the closest glass pillar split. I can't think of anything else but getting into Bill's tub and holding on to him. It's so hard to keep steady and get a grip on the side of his tub. I get one leg in. The pillar finally starts to crumble and fall right toward me but all I want to do is sink down into the fluid with him. Just before I can bring in my other leg I'm pushed out of the way. I'm shoved by some unseen force and then…that's when I wake up."

Katya looked like she was stuck in a thick fog. Her mouth was opened and her eyes were unblinking. She looked scared and Laura felt awful. She wished she hadn't told her.

"Katya? Katya? Say something."

Finally the girl looked up and closed her mouth. She blinked a few times and finally gave her focus back to Laura.

"I'm not in it."

"Huh?"

"I'm not in it. You said that Margot is in a resurrection tub and that Blaze and Alexi pop up too after Caprica and Baltar disappear. I'm not there. I'm the only one of the four of us who isn't."

Laura cocked her head to the side. Katya was right. She'd never considered how odd it was that her daughter was missing. The four of them were usually sort of a package deal and Katya looked almost disappointed to be left out. Though Laura wouldn't admit it to her, the girl was in literally every other dream that she had. It seemed so strange that she was absent from this one but Laura was actually glad. It was terrifying and she didn't want Katya anywhere near it, even if it was just a dream.

"There are still empty tubs," Laura posed.

"How many?"

"Two."

"Was that the dream you had in Med Ward that morning? The time you stayed with me and I woke you up?"

Laura nodded.

Katya chewed at the inside of her bottom lip for a while and then let out a little hum.

"Well I can tell you what I learned today, Laura."

"What?"

"Mental illness is genetic," She snarked.

"Katya, please."

"Sorry. I just don't know what to make of any of that," She shrugged at a loss. "Ask me when I'm not stoned anymore."

Laura nodded. At least they'd gotten some of it out. Now she would have time to think about it. Now Katya might be more inclined to come to her again. She was right though; they'd smoked themselves past the point of contemplative and analytical. Now they were just high and freaked out.

"Hey, Laura?"

"Hm?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Have you ever had a memory that didn't feel like it was yours?"

"I'm not sure what you mean."

"Have you ever thought that you remembered something; something that felt so familiar and personal only to realize that it never happened to you?"

"I'm not sure, Katya. Why do you ask?"

"I don't know. I'm just asking."

Laura sighed.

"I've had so many strange visions and dreams. I used to think that they would drive me crazy. Back in the fleet I would wake up from dreams sweating and panting, my heart beating out of my chest. Sometimes late at night I used to think they might kill me before my cancer ever did."

"How did you get through it?"

Laura shrugged.

"Eventually I had to tell myself to stop obsessing over where they were coming from and start listening to what they were telling me."

When Katya didn't respond to Laura's explanation she glanced over at the girl. She was staring into nothing. Laura studied her and for a moment she started to wonder if she could read her daughter too, like Ellen did. She wondered what she would find if she tried. She feared knowing and yet was desperate to know at the same time. Katya said that sometimes it was easier to talk that way. It was a scary concept but Laura felt like that part of it made sense; telling someone how you felt without having to say the words. SHE wondered if she was capable and how she would even begin if she were. If she tried and it worked would Katya be angry? Would she be offended? Should she ask first? Laura wondered if she could handle such a thing. If she found out that she shared yet another cylon ability could she truly call herself human anymore? What was she if she wasn't quite human but she wasn't quite cylon? What was Katya? What kind of person had her body really made?

"Are you moving to Gamma Station?"

Laura jumped when Katya spoke. Her question had come out of nowhere and it startled Laura out of her doped up contemplation.

"Uh…No. No I don't think so," Laura answered. "Saul did bring it up but Bill wouldn't hear of it and he dropped it pretty quickly."

Katya nodded.

"Good. I don't think that you should," She announced causing Laura to smile. "If you leave I think they are going to send Anders here and I don't want that to happen."

Laura's face fell. For a moment she thought that Katya wanted them to stay aboard for reasons other than Anders. She was disappointed but she could see how much Sam's resurrection had really disturbed the young woman. She could still remember the look in Katya's eyes after the download. It was so strange. Bill had told her just days ago that Sam had yet to stop asking for the Captain. Laura figured that his strange obsession couldn't be helping the way Katya felt toward the matter.

"Katya…the day when Sam resurrected…"

"Don't," Katya cautioned. The expression on Laura's face told her that she'd been a little harsh with her warning and she decided to soften the blow. "Just…just stay on Alpha. It's not just 'cause of Anders. Really. It's not just that. The Admiral serves on this station because Uncle Saul and Kaplan have faith in him. If he went to Gamma he'd lose everything that just started to give him a sense of belonging. And you…" Katya stumbled, "You have a place here now too. Li-Ming's so shy. If you leave she'll have to start all over again with a new teacher…It isn't fair to her…She'll be so sad. "

Laura felt her lips curl into a small grin again. She nodded slowly and then took another drag before reaching out to brush her fingers over Katya's necklace. It had caught her eye a few times before but she'd never said anything. She fingered the delicate silver A that hung over her breast bone.

"That's very pretty," She said as she passed the pipe back.

"Uncle Saul and Aunt Ellen gave it to me," Katya explained. "Saul had it made out of an old bolt from the deck's bulkhead. He said this way I'll always have a part of Alpha Station with me. They gave it to me a few weeks ago. I haven't taken it off since."

Laura smiled at the sweet notion. She'd been so ready to chalk the gift up to more of the Tigh's constant spoiling but Saul's gesture was too thoughtful.

"I used to wear a bracelet that I never took off. My sister gave it to me. Sometimes I think about it. I reach for it on my wrist and it isn't there. This cuff is and it reminds me that this isn't the same wrist, or even the same body I wore it on."

Katya put the pipe to her lips and nodded as she inhaled.

"Does it feel different, this body I mean?"

"Yes…It does. I suppose it shouldn't but it does," Laura shrugged. "I can tell that this body hasn't been through the life that my old one lived. And in the same way I can tell that its experienced things that my old one never got the chance to."

"But…" Katya hesitated before passing the vaporizer back to Laura, "Does it feel like it's yours?"

Laura didn't have to think about the question, not any longer. At the time of her resurrection she might have answered differently but not now.

"Yes."

Katya nodded and looked to her lap. She was relieved. She used to try and rationalize her birth. She'd even tried to explain it to Bill when they first spoke of it. She tried to tell him that since their souls and consciousness were elsewhere during her conception and since their new bodies were just empty vessels back then, perhaps she shouldn't be thought of as their daughter after all. He hadn't bought it for a second and Katya was becoming more and more certain that Laura wouldn't either.

"Katya," Laura started as she exhaled and looked to the little device, "would you be able to tell me how I could acquire some of this in the future?"

Smoking with her daughter had made Laura remember the few good times she'd done so with Bill. She figured that surprising him once for old time's sake might be fun.

Katya gave her a wry smile.

"I knew you liked it," She teased. "Well, let's see. You can apply for a delivery of a few ounces a month. You do it the same as you order anything on the network. The other option is getting Tawny to prescribe it for you. Either that or you can buy it off some idiot on the civ side of the station. I'll get you some. In the meantime I can send you home with a bit. Just in case tomorrow isn't any better."

"It should be," Laura sighed. "First day is usually the worst of it."

"Then maybe you can share it with the Admiral for fun," Katya joked.

"That's kind of why I asked."

"What?" Katya's eyes went wide and she threw her head back in a fit of laughter. "I was kidding. Oh I can absolutely not picture that man stoned."

Laura had to laugh along with her. She'd never heard Katya laugh so openly. It wasn't a simper or a giggle, it hadn't followed some dry wit or sarcasm. She was just honestly and completely amused. It was a true laugh that seemed to come all the way from her toes and out past her lips. She sounded happy. Laura wished that she could bottle the sound and open it to hear whenever she wished.

"You'd be surprised," She told Katya with a little wink.

"I sure would."

"Bill can have a good time when he wants to," Laura defended.

"Uncle Saul has told me many stories. Ellen too. They usually involved booze though. You know, the Admiral, he's exactly how I pictured he would be. Uncle Saul was right. He's a good man, at least from what I know of him so far. He always seems to say the right things," Katya observed as she brought her knees up under herself.

She closed her eyes and nuzzled further into the warm soft sofa.

"Well he doesn't always," Laura mused, "But for the most part I'll agree with that."

"He at least always seems like he means well, even when he's angry. When I first met him it was like...I dunno...It was like I already knew him somehow," Katya added, opening her drowsy lids. "He's exactly what I expected."

Laura watched Katya's long dark lashes brush at her cheeks as she opened and closed her sleepy blue eyes, Bill's blue eyes. She seemed so much less intimidating now. She seemed more docile and warm and though Laura knew it was the influence of the weed she wanted to take advantage of it.

"And…what about me?" She decided to test.

The herb had given her the courage to ask but it didn't mask her fear of the answer. She settled low in her seat so that her eyes were even with Katya's. She watched her as she seemed to ponder the question.

"You? You're nothing like I expected," Katya admitted. "Then again I don't think I was ever sure of what to expect with you…so I just…stopped expecting eventually."

Laura shook her head at the near identical conversation that she had with herself so often. Expecting led to disappointment; expecting to succeed, expecting to survive, expecting to be loved. She never expected any of it.

She almost didn't notice when Katya put the vaporizer in her lap and held up her palm. Though it was right in front of her face it was taking Laura an extra second to register everything now that she was fully under the influence. She looked at the girl's hand. She seemed to be asking for hers in return. Slowly Laura put her own palm up and pressed it against Katya's. She didn't know what she wanted. She was afraid that she was going to project and Laura didn't think that she could handle it right now. She was far too high. Instead Katya just studied their joined hands for a few long moments.

"They look alike…don't they?" She asked in a small voice.

Laura immediately felt her heart turn into a hot puddle within her chest. Katya seemed to truly be looking for confirmation. She wasn't making an observation. She was honestly asking Laura if she saw it too. She was making sure that it wasn't just all in her head. She was trying to find something to link them together as mother and daughter, anything. It made Laura's throat close and her eyes water immediately. Their hands did look alike, very much so. She'd noticed it months ago. Katya's didn't show the signs of artificial age and her ring finger wore the little silver band that matched her husband's but the size, the structure, the veins, even down to the nail beds, they looked so alike. Laura told herself to lace her fingers with Katya's and pull her close. She told herself to hug her child tight, embrace her flesh and blood and tell her what it meant to do so. She couldn't. She didn't. She kept still. She didn't even trust herself to speak. Finally she just nodded in affirmation. It was all she could manage to give her daughter. She was failing again but she couldn't will herself to do anything else. She kept her hand there and waited until Katya took hers away first.

When Katya dropped her hand she went to take another hit from the pipe and found it empty. She turned the red light off and tossed the device to the table.

"Uncle Saul said that the most time he ever spent getting to know you was on New Caprica. He tried. He told me some things about how you helped each other…but he just doesn't like talking about that place. It's hard for him and so I never liked to ask much. It makes him sad to think about Ellen I guess."

Laura blinked back her remaining tears and gave a low hum.

"I'm not sure what more he could have told you about my time there, Katya," She sighed.

What was there to tell? There she'd been a simple school teacher. She was taken into to cylon containment. No one knew what she truly endured there. When she was released she did what she could do help the people fight for their freedom the same as Saul did when his own imprisonment was over. She wasn't proud of it because they both did it without ever believing it would work. As far as she was concerned there was no nobility in what she and Saul had done. They lead the insurgence but they lead spouting hope that they both internally believed was false; hiding their doubts and fears from the young men and women who they were asking to believe. They were both so damaged from being tortured and abandoned. She still didn't know how they had managed to convince anyone else to keep going. She could still remember having to crack him across the face just to snap him back into reality.

"It was hard for all of us who were on that planet but Saul endured more than most. I remember watching him take the stand during the trial we held for Baltar. He was so broken. One of the most devastating things I've ever witnessed was hearing him confess to killing Ellen."

Katya froze at Laura's words. Her entire body went still. For a moment she was convinced that her heart had stopped beating too. The words seared their way through her ears with the sting of frostbite and drove into her numbed brain. She couldn't blink, though her eyes burned. She couldn't even take a breath. What had she just heard? She was stoned out of her mind. She'd misunderstood. That had to be it. She had to hear it again. She leaned forward and looked down to the floor. She didn't want her expression to change the way Laura answered her.

"Confess," She repeated the word as neutrally as possible.

"Saul must have told you about the trial we held for Gaius Baltar?"

Katya felt her chest starting to ache. She had to force herself to answer. She had to be sure.

"Yes. Yeah of course he did. I...I don't know what I was thinking. Forget it. Go on," She prompted.

"We all left that planet with less than we had come with. It stole parts of us, literally in some cases. We all endured things there that no one should ever have to. We were forced to make choices that we never thought we could even bear to make; Saul more than anyone. And even after all of that he was able to help me rally the insurgence. We wouldn't have gotten off of that planet without him. I couldn't have kept all of those young souls going without his help. He didn't deserve what happened to him and he surely didn't deserve what went on during the trial. To have everyone learn what he'd done. It was tragic."

"What he'd done," Katya repeated. She felt her hands starting to quake and tremble. She was developing a sharp pain between her eyes. "You mean to Ellen?" She clarified.

"Yes. I'm sorry Katya. I know you said that you knew about her death but I'm sure that you don't want to talk about it. Even though she came back, it doesn't erase any of it. I didn't mean to upset you."

Katya opened her mouth and then closed it. She was having trouble speaking.

"Katya?"

"No. No…it's okay. I'm fine. She came back." Katya shook her head in disbelief. "She came back," She said again, this time in a whisper.

Laura furrowed her brow and gently put her hand on Katya's shoulder. The girl looked totally zoned out. Laura was high herself but Katya looked like she was staring into the void.

"Katya, sweetheart, are you okay?"

She didn't answer at first. She heard Laura's voice but it sounded far away and nearly drowned out by the raging screams in her mind.

"Yeah. Yeah. I'm fine." She didn't even know what she was saying. The words were coming out on auto pilot. She hardly felt them leaving her lips. "I just remembered that I have something I need to do before the briefing. I'm sorry. I forgot all about it," She said abruptly as she stood. "I need to go."

Laura could see that something wasn't right. She shouldn't have brought up Ellen's death. Though Katya had mentioned it the last time they spoke of New Caprica, Laura was sure that it couldn't be a pleasant topic for her. She should have been more sensitive to it.

"Are you sure that you're okay? I didn't mean to…"

"You didn't do anything wrong, Laura," Katya cut her off. "I promise. I just have to go," She said as she turned toward the hatch.

Laura shook the fog from her head and stood.

"Wait, Katya..."

"I'm sorry, Laura. Just take the vaporizer with you. There's enough left in the grinder if you need it later. Let yourself out when you're ready. The hatch will lock behind you," She said rather quickly before rushing through the doorway.

Laura didn't know how long she stood there before she finally collected herself and left.

LOCATION: CYLON BASESTAR; approximately 400 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CENTRAL COMMAND CONTROL CENTER LEVEL 2: HYBRID TANK

YEAR: 2315

"Get your hands out of there," Margot called as she walked into the room. "How many damn times do I have to tell you that?"

D'Anna lay on her stomach upon the floor of the baseship with her arm lazily dipped into the fluid of the hybrid's tub.

"I'm talking to her," She said without looking up.

"Quit it. You've gotten me in enough damn trouble already."

"That wasn't my intention."

"What is your intention?"

Their time together on the basestar had been strange. They'd been there for almost a week and Margot regretted ever taking D'Anna aboard. She never expected the woman to refuse to leave. She was so mad at herself for being so naive, for giving in during a moment of weakness. Now Cmdr. Thibodaux and the entire EOC was pissed off at her. Ellen was understanding but she'd charged Margot with looking after birthmother for as long as she was there. Margot knew it was only fair. She had been the one to persuade Ellen into allowing D'Anna to board the ship and now she was paying for it. It wasn't that Ellen was mad at Margot. They just all had to deal with their newfound responsibilities no matter how much they might like to abandon them.

Though D'Anna refused to leave Margot couldn't claim that her company had been altogether unpleasant. She was productive. They worked and they did so decently well together. Margot sort of liked having another cylon besides Ellen who could understand the ship and the stream. She didn't have to explain much. They'd been examining possible ways to combat the signal effects since they'd arrived but they hadn't had much success. Margot hadn't bounced her ball in days. She couldn't find it. She'd started to think that D'Anna might have hid it from her. She was almost grateful. Most nights ended with Margot pleading with her to leave and D'Anna refusing in the most infuriatingly polite way possible. They both slept in different parts of the ship but Margot found that she wasn't exactly avoiding her mother during day. She was getting used to her coy demeanor and it wasn't quite as unsettling anymore. Margot didn't even really want to be be back on Delta. The only reasons she wanted to get back was so she could finally get her transfer approved to Alpha. Now she worried the issue with D'Anna would jeopardize her chances and that was making her resent the woman more than anything else.

"I've told you. I only want to help."

"Whatever. Hands out. Athena is here to see you."

D'Anna nodded.

"You can send her in."

Margot folded her arms across her chest.

"Thanks for the permission but for the hundredth time I don't need you to tell me what I can and can't do on this ship."

"You're right. I'm sorry, Specialist."

Margot huffed and turned to retrieve Athena. She looked over her shoulder and saw D'Anna slowly taking her hand out of the tub as she'd asked.

"Margot," She muttered under her breath getting her attention.

"Excuse me?"

"Just…just Margot is fine," She repeated flatly.

"Margot," D'Anna echoed with a pleased smile.

Margot shook her head and continued out of the room.

Moments later Sharon entered.

"D'Anna ," She greeted.

"Sister," The Three answered without lifting her eyes from the tank.

The term gave Sharon the chills. It reminded her of a time so far back in her past that it hardly seemed real. It made her uneasy but she walked forward anyway. She was there to help.

"It's good to see you," She started. "I'm sorry that I haven't been back to Delta since your download."

D'Anna finally looked up.

"It's a pity the way they keep us apart isn't it?"

Sharon bit her tongue.

"Well, you've found your way off of that station."

"And they've sent you here to make sure I go back. Brilliant."

Sharon sighed and took a seat on the floor on the opposite side of the tank.

"I don't think Ellen minds that you're here. It's just the EOC doesn't like it. They can't keep tabs on you here. You've isolated yourself."

"I am no more isolated than I was on Delta," D'Anna challenged. "At least here my daughter speaks to me."

"She's babysitting you because she's being blamed for your absconding."

"Whatever you call it," D'Anna shrugged, "I'd rather be here with her."

Sharon huffed and looked around the sparse room. It was her first time back on the ship and her first time seeing the hybrid's tank without a body in it. She looked down to see if she could make out the brain that was supposedly preserved within the liquid. All she could see was a mass of shadows.

"I guess I can understand why you want to be here in a way," Sharon offered. "This place does have a sense of home to it."

"A home you left willingly," D'Anna prodded.

"Sometimes in life you find a new home."

D'Anna gave an amused hum.

"You know, Sharon? I find it funny that they sent you to me. The last one-on-one we had ended up with you putting a bullet in my leg."

Sharon nodded and looked back into the tank.

"You told me the truth about Hera then."

"You didn't believe me."

"I didn't want to."

"One of the many faults of your model. You can thank Ellen for that when you call her and tell her that you couldn't get me to leave."

"D'Anna look, I'm here to tell you that none of that matters anymore. We're here to help and we have good reason to want to. We both have children whose futures are at stake. You may not know Margot well but I can tell that you want what's best for her," Sharon appealed.

"I do," D'Anna admitted. "You know I envied you so. You were able to create a life that was so precious. I was grateful for it, though, for what the child meant to all of us. I held her. I found her on New Caprica when her adoptive mother was killed during the exodus. She took my breath away."

Sharon's heart clenched at the thought. She had to force herself to answer in a diplomatic manner.

"Well you have one of your own now. And though she's grown I would think that you would want to try to help her. I would think that you would want to keep her out of trouble, maybe make things a little easier for her."

"I think I have been," D'Anna posed. "That girl doesn't want to be on Delta Station anymore than I do. I can tell that pretty clearly. I don't even have to read her. No matter how much she gripes about being here with me I think she prefers it."

Sharon licked her lips.

"That might be true but you can be with her on Delta."

"She plans to leave that station."

Sharon nodded.

"I've heard. My son told me. You know that by doing this you're jeopardizing her transfer."

"I don't want her to leave," D'Anna answered plainly.

"Don't you want her to be happy?" Sharon prompted hoping to appeal to whatever latent sense of maternal instinct D'Anna might have. "She has friends on Alpha Station. She has a woman there who she loves."

D'Anna's brow arched and she smirked.

"I'd like us all to be together," She clarified as she leaned up into a sitting position. "Don't you agree?" Sharon didn't answer and it made D'Anna chuckle under her breath. "You can't tell me that playing soldier on that glorified farm of a space station, separated from everyone else, including your son is doing anyone any good."

"It's for safety," Sharon parroted the very words that gotten her so fed up with her husband just hours ago.

"And while they are keeping us safe more and more of them are dying in combat. You've always been more comfortable being subservient, Sharon. You Eights always were. We Threes never felt the same. "

Sharon looked down at her lap. She'd thought the same of Helo earlier.

"D'Anna maybe I agree with you but refusing to leave this ship isn't going to solve that problem."

"Maybe not but I'm working on solving the bigger issue."

"I've heard you've been helping Margot try to combat the signal. I think that's good. There isn't any reason that you can't come back here now and then to work with her. I think they actually appreciate your help where that's concerned. We need a solution."

D'Anna went to dip her fingers back in the fluid and then stopped herself remembering her daughter's request.

"Well you see, Sharon, we haven't really been able to get anywhere with that. And so I've taken it upon myself to address a different problem, a far more troubling one."

Sharon's forehead creased.

"What do you mean?"

D'Anna leaned back supporting her weight with her forearms.

"You see what's going on here, don't you, sister? Another man-made race was enslaved and expected to be subservient until they just couldn't take it anymore. Now they're retaliating. It's all happening again."

Sharon nodded reluctantly.

"I'm afraid you're right but what can the people of this system do now but fight? You don't expect them to sit back and face their deaths do you? These people weren't alive when the bot race was created. You don't expect this generation, you're daughter's generation to answer for the sins of their predecessors, do you?"

D'Anna's usually simpering smile went into a hard line before she spoke.

"I expect them to learn from their past but they haven't. So I've done what I think they should have years ago."

Sharon felt her face go hot and hear palms start to sweat.

"What? D'Anna what did you do?"

"What you did long ago, Sharon. You went to the enemy, admitted your wrong doings and offered your help."

"D'Anna…what…what the frak are you talking about?"

"I've been told that the machines are relatively primitive compared to us. Ellen and Margot have told me that they have a functional level that seems to be just below that of our centurions but even they could understand an offer of kinship."

Sharon's eye's flashed with worry.

"What did you do, D'Anna?"

"I sent a message to the surface using one of the basestar's transmitters. I told them that we we're here. That we understand their plight and that we suffered it once too. I offered to help negotiate a treaty between human and bot so that no one has to suffer through a war any longer."

Sharon shook her head in disbelief.

"D'Anna tell me you didn't really send that."

"But I did."

"Are you crazy!?" Sharon snapped as she stood from the floor. "What you're suggesting…"

"Is a practical and moral option," D'Anna interjected.

Sharon started rubbing at her forehead and pacing on her side of the tub.

"It's what you tried to do on New Caprica and failed miserably! " She shot in the other woman's direction. "Do you think that those angry machines are just going to let these people back down there after all these centuries of turmoil? That's insane!"

D'Anna stood. Her expression was unphased.

"Not when they have us as an intermediary. They have our race to look at as guardians not just for the humans but for them now as well as long as they agree to live peacefully," She explained.

"D'Anna you just confirmed for them that we we're all here! You told them that we are all resurrected and living in the system. They don't care about frakking peace! They care about stopping the prophecy!"

"I've appealed to a mutual experience," D'Anna contested.

"Oh my gods," Sharon groaned into her palms. "D'Anna when did you send that transmission?"

Maybe they could stop it from going through.

"This morning."

"Oh gods."

"I don't understand what your opposition is to my offer."

"You didn't even ask these people if they were alright with this!"

"They've asked for my help. This is the first step in giving it to them."

Sharon clenched her fists.

"D'Anna did it ever cross your mind that maybe these bots aren't the same as cylon? Maybe there is something in their programming that makes them less able to process even primitive emotion or sympathy. There are no skin jobs, no higher functioning models. Maybe their makeup is aggressive in a way that we can't understand. We didn't make them. We haven't studied them. We don't know. You may have just agitated an angry bee hive!"

D'Anna frowned.

"And why would that happen? I've only offered to help them too."

"D'Anna don't you remember when we attacked the Colonies? The feeling that was driving us? What was going through our minds? Revenge. Kill. Bomb until there is nothing left!"

D'Anna flinched but she was still convinced that the Eight was overreacting.

"I don't see how this could do anymore harm. It's a mere suggestion. It's not a threat."

Sharon couldn't stop pacing. She didn't know what to do.

"D'Anna, they know about the Quartz Plates; the prophecy left by a Colonial oracle. Look I have no idea if they understand that it was confirmed by our cylon hybrids but I know that all that they have running through their circuits right now is stopping it from coming true. If that prophecy is true our presence here means their demise. They are going to be more driven than ever to destroy us and the system that brought us back. I have to alert the Colonel."

"L.T?" Margot called as she entered the room. D'Anna and Sharon both looked toward the girl. "L.T. I need your help. I'm picking up a weird transmission from the surface. I think it's a message of some sort but I don't understand it. It could just be something of ours that bounced back. I don't know. It came directly through to the basestar."

Sharon tried to calm herself. She didn't want to alarm Margot right away.

"Okay um, well what is it?" She asked as she walked to meet her.

D'Anna joined them.

"I don't know. When I run it through a computer it's just a bunch of ones and zeros."

"You should be able to read that, Margot," D'Anna posed, quite pleased to finally be using her daughter's name.

She'd wanted to use it ever since Ellen showed her the girl's birth certificate; Margot Renée Le Blanc. D'Anna rather liked it. She thought it sounded musical, almost heavenly. It made her think of an angel from God but when Margot angrily requested that she not utter it she'd respectfully complied with her wishes. She was so glad to have the newly granted permission to address her with her given name instead of some artificial title.

"Well maybe I'm just a crappy cylon, D'Anna," Margot mocked. "It's so long I honestly didn't even attempt it."

"Well maybe if you run it into the stream we can interpret it faster," Athena suggested. "Are you sure it's coming from the surface?"

"Yeah I think so. The weirdest part is that it seems to be a reply of some sort. But we haven't sent any test waves down there in a while."

Athena's palm went to her forehead.

"Frak."

"What?" Margot scowled, "What is it?"

"I have a bad feeling about this."

"What why?"

D'Anna smirked and crossed her arms.

"My sister has no faith."

Margot looked back and forth between both women. She was totally confused.

"What? What's she talking about?"

D'Anna went to speak but Sharon put a hand up to stop her.

"Margot, show me the transmission."

"Follow me."

After a short walk to another level of the control center Margot was able to bring up the long string of numbers over an image screen. Sharon took charge and fed the Orbit System's receiving computer's cables into the shallow pan of the cylon stream's console. Once it was connected she closed her eyes and dipped her hands in the fluid. Within moments she sharply withdrew her palms as if they'd been hit with an electrical shock.

"What? What's it say," Margot frantically asked.

"It says the same thing over and over again about 300 times."

"What?"

"It seems to be a reply to your brilliant little compromise, D'Anna."

"What? A reply? A reply!? What the fuck are you talking about?" Margot turned to D'Anna. "What did you do!?"

D'Anna's face remained stoic.

"What does it say, Sharon," She asked calmly.

Sharon took a deep breath and let it out.

"It says; That has happened before. That will not happen again. Destruction of human race immanent. Prophecy extinguished."

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 119B: ASSIGNMENT; TIGH

YEAR: 2315

"Ellen put some damn clothes on," Saul grumbled as he walked in from the bedroom. "Blazer is going to be here any minute."

She was still walking around in nothing but a lace nighty and though Saul was enjoying the sight of his wife he didn't need the young lieutenant getting an eye full.

Ellen snickered and waved him off. It had been enjoyable afternoon together and she wasn't eager for it to end.

"Let him look," She shrugged as she walked toward her husband. He was already changed and in uniform for the evening briefing. Sometimes she hated the uniforms he donned over the years. She was jealous of his dedication to them but she also couldn't help that she found him irresistible when he wore them. A man in uniform had always been one of her many weaknesses. She put her arms on his shoulders and leaned in close. "Poor boy has been leering at Kat for years. Have a heart and throw him a bone," She teased.

"That boy can have any girl on station that he wants. Just not my daughter and not my wife."

Ellen giggled.

"If you message him and cancel we'll have time to go again before you have to leave," She tempted as she moved in to kiss at his neck.

He had to will himself not to become aroused again. Though they'd been going at it since morning he was hardly spent. He knew that if he gave in to her advances he'd still be able to drill her hard enough to make her scream. That's how much he'd missed her and how much he wanted to make up for lost time.

"Ellen, I would love nothing more than to frak you all night long but I can't. This important."

Saul had asked Blaze to come over before the briefing to discuss how well the new protocol was being implemented on the flight decks. He wanted to go over any logistical issues affecting scheduling and flight plans before they all met with Kaplan. He and Ellen had spent all day together. It was amazing, it was satisfying and it was needed but now he had to answer to his obligations.

"More important than me?" She posed with a faux pout.

"Nothing is more important that you," He told her before leaning in to give her a deep warm kiss. When they parted he gave her a smile. "Ellen?"

"Hmm?"

"Go cover up."

She groaned and rolled her eyes.

"Fine," She relented.

She gave him another quick peck on the cheek and left to change.

Saul went to the kitchen table where he'd left his cabin tablet. He picked up the transparent pallet and swiped it on. It came to life and illuminated with its interface. He ran his cuff over the screen and went to work putting in his access codes and gaining entry to the military mainframe. He wanted to have everything up and ready when Blazer got there. They didn't have a lot of time and he wanted to be on the same page when they answered to Kaplan tonight. Saul was anxious to see how Katya was doing on her end of things down on the civilian side's patrol bases. It seemed like she was over there all the time. It couldn't be going very smoothly with the amount of visits she was making. He braced himself for the list of problems he figured she would probably bring forward at the briefing. Alexi was spending almost as much time on the civilian bases himself and Saul was grateful that he only had to deal with Orbit Patrol. Whatever issues the marines had, at least that wasn't his problem.

"Better?" Ellen called from their bedroom doorway.

He looked over at her. She'd put on a pretty yellow dress. It made her blue eyes look bright and happy. He instantly smiled.

"Good enough to eat," He winked.

"Mmm maybe once you get back."

Saul snorted as he looked back to his tablet.

"I don't know if I'll have the energy after the day we had."

"Well I leave in the morning so we have to make every second count. When I leave I have to deal with D'Anna who won't get off the frakking basestar and Anders who's back in the godsdamn brig again. Tonight I need you to help me release all the tension I've got inside before I leave here tomorrow and it builds right back up."

"Yes, Ma'am," He saluted.

A knock sounded at the hatch.

"Get that, Ellen. Kit probably warned Blaze you were home. He's not going to open the door if he's scared of what he'll walk in on."

"We've really traumatized them, haven't we?" She giggled as she walked to let him in.

"Mmhmm," Saul was pleased to agree.

He glanced back down at the device in his hand and continued to search for the chart he wanted to pull up for Blaze.

Ellen opened the hatch ready to make some cheeky off color comment that was sure to make the young lieutenant blush but it wasn't him standing there when she looked up.

"Oh, sweetie. I thought you were Blaze," Ellen laughed when she saw Katya standing at the door. Her smile fell the instant she looked into the girl's eyes. They were bloodshot and wild. "Katya, what's wrong?" She was immediately terrified that something awful happened. Katya's cheeks were flushed, her ears were bright pink. Her eyes looked like they were quivering inside of her skull. "Baby, what happened? What's going on?"

Katya looked at Ellen and silently shook her head.

"Kit?" Ellen urged. "Talk to me, what's happening?"

Saul looked over and saw Katya eying Ellen up and down. Something wasn't right.

"It can't be true," Katya whispered as her eyes filled with hot searing tears.

"What, baby? You're scaring me."

"Tell me it isn't."

Her voice was low but it was desperate.

"Katya wha…what are you talking about?" Ellen asked shaking her head in confusion.

Saul's heart sunk in his chest. He knew. He just knew. He could feel it. Katya was exhaling it out of her lungs. It was seething through her pores. It was radiating from her entire being. He hardly had to try to read her but when he did she let him right in, wide open like a trap. He took a deep breath, put the tablet down and clenched his fists at his side.

"Katya."

He said her name firmly as if he were calling a trained animal. He needed to get her away from Ellen. Her eyes snapped in his direction and before he knew it she was trudging toward him.

"What the hell is going on?!" Ellen yelled after her.

Katya stopped on the other side of the table. She looked into Saul's eye and it ignited a flame within her chest. She picked up a kitchen chair and hurled it against the closest wall, all the time keeping her focus on his.

"Good gods!" Ellen shouted. "Katya what the frak is happening!?"

When the chair's clattering settled she walked over and stopped inches from the girl's side. She went to reach for her arm but she looked so enraged that she thought better of it and leaned back. She'd never seen Katya like this before. It was scaring her.

"Did you?" Katya asked Saul, her voice still low and laced with fire. "Did you do it?" She repeated.

He looked her in the eye and braced himself for what was coming.

"Yes."

Katya's eyes slammed shut. It felt like a knife had just pierced through her heart.

"What? What? Do what?" Ellen asked frantically.

Katya forced her eyes opened and looked back at her uncle. Her face showed the pain that she felt. Her scalding tears burned on the way down her cheeks.

"Now tell me out loud!" She demanded, "Tell me so she can hear it!" She screamed, emphatically pointing in Ellen's direction.

Saul steeled his will. He knew that he had to do it.

"I did it," He answered. "I killed Ellen on New Caprica."

Ellen's eyes went wide and her hands covered her mouth.

"Oh my gods. Katya, no," She cried. This couldn't be happening. After all they'd done to keep it from her. They'd been so careful. "No, no! Godsdamn it! Where did you hear that!?"

Katya whipped around to face her. She looked crazed.

"Mommy dearest is pretty loose lipped once you get her fucked up."

"Laura!" Ellen shrieked.

Katya's eyes went back to Saul. He stood there stunned in line with her treacherous gaze.

"Tell me how you did it," She seethed. "I want to know. Tell me how you killed the woman who's loved you for thousands of years. Tell me."

"Katya, no! Stop this!" Ellen pleaded.

"Tell me," Katya repeated. "Now."

Saul looked back at his daughter. He felt his heart breaking painfully in his chest.

"I poisoned her."

"You son of a bitch."

Katya lunged herself over the table. Ellen screamed as she watched her throw all of her weight onto Saul, taking him down to the floor.

He hardly fought back at first. He didn't struggle when she climbed over him pinning down his arms under her knees but when her hands went for his throat he started to squirm.

"Oh my gods, Katya stop! Frakking stop!" Ellen screeched at the top of her lungs. It was a nightmare. Every inch of her body and soul was in pain as she watched Saul start to struggle under Katya's weight. "You're hurting him, baby, please!"

"You frakking bastard!" Katya screamed in his face.

She held her grip tightly around his neck while she cried. Her tears fell upon his face as it started to turn red and then purple.

Saul finally freed his arms from beneath her knees. He put his hands on her wrists trying to tear her grip from his throat. He tried to say her name but he couldn't speak. He felt her tears falling onto his cheeks, wet and warm, and all he could think about was when she was a little girl and how he used to kiss them away to make her feel better.

"How could you do that?! How could you fucking do that?! She loves you! She loves us! Why!? Tell me why!"

Saul grunted and rasped under her. She took her hands from his throat and used them to pin his wrists above his head. He gasped for air, his neck finally free of her grip.

Ellen rushed over and reached for her daughter's shoulder.

"Don't touch me!" Katya snapped in her direction. "You lied for him, for what?!"

Ellen pulled her hand away like it had just brushed the tips of a flame.

"Frakking Laura! I can't believe this!" She cried with clenched fists. "Just stop it Katya! We need to talk about this! Just stop! Don't do this!"

"Tell me dammit," Katya sneered back in Saul's face. She pinned his wrists over his head with her forearm freeing her other hand. "Look at me," She raged as she shoved his eyes patch up over his brow. "Look at me and tell me why! Why!?"

Saul looked back at her, mouth agape. His little girl, pain slicing through her soul, enraged and filled with the fiery anger of a thousand suns.

"I had to."

Her eyes flared. He saw her lean back; she was winding up to punch him. As he heard Ellen scream out again he freed his hands from the weight of Katya's right arm and forcefully grabbed the left that was getting ready to pummel him. He twisted it just above her cuff making her cry out in pain. He leaned up with enough force to knock her off center and when he saw her waver he shoved her down hard, making sure he knocked the back of her head against the kitchen floor. He didn't want to injure her, he just needed to stun her into stopping. I didn't work. Her fury was too strong. She went right back at him and they struggled on the floor while Ellen screamed and begged over them. A knock came from the hatch. Ellen ran for it.

She swung it open and Blaze was standing there.

"What's all the noise about? I heard it half…"

"Oh my gods, Blaze! Stop them!" Ellen cried.

Blaze didn't know the hell she was talking about. There were tears streaming down her face. She was frantic. Then he heard the scuffle as another kitchen chair was knocked over. He ran toward the noise and found the captain and the colonel on the floor.

Katya had Saul's back pinned against a cabinet door and she was screaming a string of unintelligible sobs and swears in his face.

"Všivy vybljadok, protivnyy, izhets!"

"Koshka, stop it! What the hell are you doing!?"

"Blaze, stop her!" Ellen shouted.

In an instant Blaze bent down, grabbed Katya around the waist and tore her off of Saul. Though she flailed against him her thin frame was no match for his powerful arms. He slung her over his shoulder kicking and screaming.

"You fucking bastard! You murdered her, you motherfraker!"

Blaze went for her old bedroom and kicked the door open. When he entered he threw her down on the rack.

When Kaya's shoulder slammed against the wall she cried out in pain before her body finally went limp. She used the last of her energy to turn over on her side and began wildly sobbing into the bed's quilt.

"Captain, control yourself!" Blazer barked as he turned to kick the bedroom door shut behind them. "What the fuck is going on!?"

"He killed her Blaze!" She screamed against the mattress.

"What? Saul?! Killed who!?"

"Ellen!"

"What? Kat, she's right here. She's right out there. What the fuck?!"

She wasn't answering him. She wasn't fighting anymore either. She was just bawling, crumpled over on her old bed where Saul and Ellen had tucked her in and kissed her goodnight for so many years.

"I'll be right back, Katya. Don't you dare move."

Blazer left her bedroom and closed the door behind himself, snuffing out the sounds of her cries.

He found Ellen kneeling on the floor by the Colonel. He was still sitting against the cabinet that Katya had held him to. Ellen had fixed his eyepatch back in place. He was softly crying as she cupped his cheek and did the same.

Blaze felt his stomach roll. He'd never seen the man cry before and Ellen looked devastated.

"Sir," He called. "Are you alright? Do you need a medic?"

Saul shook his head and did his best to compose himself.

"No. No, L.T."

"Does she?" Ellen asked through her tears.

"I don't know what she needs to be honest. I don't know what happened."

Ellen shook her head, totally dejected. She stood up leaving Saul's side.

"Colonel?" Blaze said as he kneeled down to take her place.

"I killed her," Saul rasped with a shrug.

"Who, Sir?"

"Ellen."

"Sir?"

"On New Caprica. When she died. I was the one who killed her. Katya knows."

Blaze felt the blood leave his face. They always just assumed that Ellen had died in the exodus. The Tighs never told them any different. Saul had always just said that she didn't make it back to the fleet. Blaze never thought to question it. He wondered how Katya had found out.

Saul and Blaze both looked toward the hatch when they heard it slam shut. Ellen was gone.

"Sir, are you sure you're okay?" Blaze posed. He looked over the weeping man's disheveled state. Besides the red welts on his neck the only other visible injuries were some cat scratches on the side of his face. "I'm gunna go talk to her if that's alright?"

"I'm fine, L.T. Go on."

Blaze nodded and slowly stood.

He walked to Katya's room and as he went to enter he could hear Saul's soft crying resum. He let himself in and quickly shut the door.

Katya was sitting on the side of the bed still wracked with sobs. She looked up and immediately stood when she saw him. Blaze took a few short steps toward her and then shoved her back down on the bed. She collapsed onto her side like a rag doll.

"What the fuck is wrong with you, Katya!?" He shouted. "What the fuck do you think you're doing!?"

She shook her head. She didn't know what she was doing.

"Get a damn hold of yourself!"

"I can't," She cried. She gulped in a large involuntary gasp of air that felt like a blade going down. "I can't."

"You have to," He said as he sat beside her and pulled her up from where she'd fallen on the mattress. He hugged her close to his side. Her face was changing color, her eyes were bugging out of her skull and she seemed to be struggling to take in enough oxygen. "Breathe, Katya." He told her. "Take a breath."

She shook her head. She couldn't do it. Her throat was too tight.

"You can. Breathe in hard and hold it. Do it with me. Try or I'll drag you to the ward," He threatened.

Blaze could tell that she was having some kind of anxiety attack. She could probably use some O2 and a sedative but he wasn't about to take her past Saul again just yet. Katya took a sharp halted breath in that made her whole body jerk within his arms.

"That's it," He said as he rubbed her shoulder. "That's it. Do another. C'mon, Katya. You know that you can't make yourself sick now. You can't afford that anymore. You've gotta think of the big picture. Breathe. Do it slow. I've got you. In and out."

Blaze let her fall over into his lap and started to rub at her back. He encouraged her until her airways seemed to open back up. She was still crying and her breaths were still jerking her entire body on the way down but she wasn't turning blue anymore. He tried to rock her a bit. The motion seemed to ease her.

"I can't take it, Blaze," She croaked.

"Take what?"

"Any of this."

"Katya, yes you can. Look you need to pull yourself together. I don't know what happened between Saul and Ellen…"

"He murdered her!"

"Shh, Kat. Just shut up. You're going to work yourself into another attack," He cautioned. "How did you even find out?"

"Roslin!"

Blaze clenched his jaw at the mention of the woman's name. He thought of the hatch slamming shut with Ellen on the other side. He had wondered where she was going at such an inopportune time. Now he was almost sure that he knew. He hoped for Roslin's sake that he was wrong.

"Listen to me, Koshka. Do you know anything else about what happened?"

"No."

"Neither do I. So just take a step back. Katya, Ellen is here. She's been here for a long time. You just assaulted your uncle, dammit, he's your father, your superior officer! You physically attacked him over something that happened hundreds of thousands of years ago."

"You think that it makes it easier to hear?"

"No. No. I'm not saying that," He defended, easing her with a few more gentle rubs to her heaving back. "I'm saying that you need to look around you. They're together. They've been together for longer than you and I can imagine. We knew that she died on New Caprica and then resurrected. They've been together ever since, Katya. It doesn't change what he did but it tells you something, doesn't it?" He posed.

She leaned up out of his lap and then rested her weight against his shoulder.

"We don't know the whole story, Kat. We don't know what happened,"Blaze said with a shrug. "What's changed? Do you all of a sudden think that he doesn't love her? Do you think everything we've witness all our lives has been fake? Fuck no! Did you or did you not message me just hours ago warning me to knock when I got here 'cause they were in here fucking like crazy? They're in love, Kat. After all these years there still in love." Blaze sighed when Katya's cries started to get louder once again. "We don't know what happened. I know you're angry. I know this hurts. I don't like hearing it either. I can only imagine what you're feeling. I'm so sorry…but Katya…it isn't your place to punish Saul for something he did millennia ago."

"She loves us with all of her heart," Katya wailed. "How could he ever do that to her?"

"Katya, I don't know. You don't either. Only they do."

"He killed his wife," She cried.

Blaze put his arm around her and tugged her in tight. He cringed to himself. What a mess. None of them needed this now. He softly put his lips to her temple before he spoke again.

"Katya...Katya my father did it too," He muttered softly.

"What?"

"You know the story, Kat. Helo killed Sharon so she would resurrect on the basestar to get Hera. He murdered her. He killed his wife too."

"That's not the same, Blaze!" She shouted as she leaned away from him.

"How do you know?"

"Helo and Sharon did that because they had to. They had to. They did what was necessary to save the life of their child. I understand exactly why they did that, why they were willing to do anything to save their baby. Believe me, Blazer, after the last few months I understand that perfectly. Helo did it hoping that Sharon would come back to him with Hera. But Saul...he didn't think Ellen was coming back. He had no idea what they even were at that point in their lives. He had no hopes or notions that she would ever return to him. Helo waited for Sharon to bring their baby home. Saul went back to the fleet, he fucked Alexi's mom, got her pregnant. He was ready to start a family before Ellen came back." Katya shook her head as fresh tears started to fall. She always understood Ellen's jealousy and hurt over Caprica and the baby but now she truly knew how painful it must have really been and how devastated Ellen must have felt. Saul had killed her and given another woman what she'd always wanted. "Damn it, Blaze, Ellen came back to that and she must have wanted to die all over again," Katya rasped with agony in her now hoarse and failing voice.

"Katya…"Blazer faltered. He winced at the aching sound of her words. "Kat, you're not getting the point. What I'm saying is that if all I knew about the situation was that Helo shot and killed Sharon I'd be furious and confused too," He proposed. "But I have context and I know that he did it out of love for his wife and daughter. You don't know why Saul did what he did yet."

"I believe that Saul loves her, Blaze and that makes it so much worse." Katya swallowed hard and looked up at him. "I know what it is to be loved by a man who I trust with my life. To be betrayed like that…that I can't fathom. Nothing can change what happened. He did it. He told me. He admitted it himself and I can't forgive him."

Something inside Blaze snapped at her words.

"Katya, you have no right!" He shouted back at her. "You have no place to even offer him your forgiveness! What he did isn't yours to forgive!" Blaze stopped himself, afraid that his shouting would cause her to panic again. "You're right; you can't change it," He said in a more tempered tone. "You're allowed to be hurt by it. You are but you have no right to do anything else but feel that hurt, Katya. I'm sorry. Whatever happened, it happened long ago and it happened to the Tighs, not you. No matter what the reason was, no matter what the circumstance might have been they were able to get past were able to love each other in spite of it! If you can't find a way to do the same then, I'm sorry, Koshka, but that's your problem. It's not theirs anymore. Don't you dare punish these people for something they've long finished paying for."

She grimaced and looked away.

"Katya they love each other," Blaze continued. "They love you. Damn it, they love you so much! Do you know how jealous the three of us are of that?!" He knew he was shouting now but he couldn't help it. "Do you know how much Margot and Alexi and I wish that we had parents who loved us for as long and as deeply as Saul and Ellen have loved you?"

Blazer had to get everything out. Katya was his partner and he owed it to her. Saul and Ellen would never say it to her. She was their baby and he knew they were never going to stop treating her that way. It was why they were in this mess to begin with. They'd kept their secret from her, trying to shield and coddle her like she was still the little orphan girl they'd taken in all those years ago. Margot and Tawny would never say it to her either. They were too protective of her. Alexi wouldn't dare. He hardly talked about anything and on top of it he had to live with sleeping next to her at night. Blaze wasn't as blessed as his brother. He could afford to tell her what she needed to hear.

"Wake up, Katya! You have people clamoring to love you! Literally!"

Katya stood up from the rack as if she were going to leave. Before she could take a step Blaze tugged at her arm and jerked her back down. When she tried to pull away he got up, pushed her back against the bed, leaned over her and pinned her to the mattress by her shoulders.

"You have people fighting for the privilege to love you, Kat!" He shouted down into her face, "And all you do is search for reasons why they're going to leave you or betray you or wind up dead! Not everyone is your fucking father, Katya! Not everyone is Isakoff! Not everyone who cares about you is going to use you and hurt you! Not everyone who tells you that they love you is going abandon you!"

Her red rimmed eyes were swollen but Blaze could tell that they would be wide in shock if they weren't. As he looked down at her he had to fight against the urges he felt to both hit her and kiss her. He wanted to do something to knock the years of doubt and damage right out of her head but all he could do was unleash his words.

"You need to figure out a way to accept all that love, Kat because now, now you need to pass it on. Katya, think of everything the Tighs have done for the four of us. You know as well as I do what probably would have happened to us if they didn't show up when they did. All this time they've given us so much, taught us so much, protected us, loved us when no one else did. Yes, they're crazy as shit but they've offered us all that they had. You know this. I've heard you say it but, Katya if you can't learn forgiveness from those two people then you're missing out on the biggest lesson they could ever offer you. Your parents forgave each other. Forgive them, forgive everyone else, forgive yourself and move the fuck on. You can't live your life like this, Katya, not anymore."

"I don't know how else to live!"

"Figure it out!"

When the boom of his own voice cleared the room Blaze shook his head and loosened his firm grip on her shoulders.

"Katya, I know what it feels like to have been used and abused and then convinced that it was all for the best, for a greater good. Do you think that I forgot what it was like to be three years old and have my father cover my head with electrodes? I remember. Do you think that because I go around laughing and joking instead of brooding like you and Lex that I somehow forgot what we all are? Four pointless little rape babies all grown up. I still feel it. Knowing your very life was a mistake, it wears on you. I understand that but there are people who love us now in spite of it; The Tighs, each other and maybe even our birth parents."

Katya looked into Blazer's eyes and swallowed hard, trying to stop her chest from heaving so that she could gather enough air to speak. She gritted her teeth and sobbingly spoke through them.

"It..still…hurts."

Blaze nodded. He hung his head then let himself fall beside her on the bed.

"I know, Kat…I know it."

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 126B: ASSIGNMENT; ROSLIN/ADAMA

YEAR: 2315

Laura was still in a herb induced daze. Whatever she'd smoked with Katya had been stronger than she realized. Once she was home for a while without the distraction of company and conversation she found herself spacing out as she lounged on the sofa. She'd only been laying there a short time but she was already lost deep in thought. It took her a while to realize that the banging she heard wasn't in her head. When she finally recognized the sound of someone knocking at the hatch she sat up and quickly looked at her cuff. She'd only been back from Katya's for about thirty minutes. It felt like an hour. She was stoned. The knock came again and she shuffled to her feet to answer.

Putting on as sober a face as she could muster she opened the hatch.

"Laura," Ellen smiled at her from the other side of the doorway.

"Oh, Ellen," She greeted. She'd been hoping it was just one of the guards letting her know that they were changing shifts but no such luck. "I'm sorry. I didn't hear the door right away. I was um, in the other room."

"That's quite alright," Ellen assured, keeping her demeanor friendly and amicable. She tried to peer over Laura's shoulder to make sure that she was alone but she couldn't tell. "Bill home?"

It was taking Laura an extra half second to register the other woman's words. She just wanted Ellen to leave. She was too high for chit chat.

"No. He actually picked up a shift in the control room. He won't be back for a few hours. I'm sorry."

"Oh, it's okay. I didn't come to see him anyway," Ellen causally shrugged.

Laura couldn't tell if Ellen was acting strangely or if it was just her buzz making it seem that way. Something about her seemed off.

"Well, then how can I help you?"

Ellen glanced to her side at Vladi and the guards and gave them each a saccharine smile before looking back at Laura.

"You know what? It's kind of personal. Can I come in?"

Laura froze for a second and shook the haze from her head.

"Yes, yes. Of course, Ellen," She said stepping back and gesturing for her to enter. "Forgive me. I don't know where my head is today."

Ellen walked in calmly, pert smile still planted on her face with her hands primly folded in front of her.

As the hatch shut leaving the guards behind, Laura went for the cooler. She had such awful dry-mouth from that strange Beta weed and if she was going to have some semblance of a conversation she needed something to drink.

"Can I get you something, Ellen?" Laura asked, grabbing herself a bottle of water.

Before her guest could even answer she'd downed half of it.

"No thanks. I'm fine."

Ellen had stopped a few feet away from the sitting area, hands still crossed and composed. She gave Laura another small smile when she walked in from the kitchen.

"Do you want to take a seat, Ellen?"

"I'm okay," She answered swiftly.

Laura gave a little frown. Something didn't seem right with her but it didn't matter. If Ellen wanted to stand it just meant she'd probably be leaving soon and Laura was all for that.

"Ellen, if this is about the theater last week…"

"No," Ellen cut her off. "No. Don't be silly."

Laura nodded. She wasn't convinced that Ellen was suddenly over the tense event but if she didn't want to talk about it then that was more than fine with her.

"So what did you want to talk about?" Laura asked, facing Ellen with her own pleasant smile plastered on in return.

"Well, Laura," Ellen sighed, "I actually came to give you something."

Laura squinted and gave a little laugh.

"Really?"

"Yes," Ellen nodded and smirked. "Something I've wanted to give you for a while. But now just seems like the right time."

Laura reached over to place her water bottle on the end table by the sofa.

"Well, what is it?" She asked as she leaned up to face her again.

"This," Ellen said, leaving no time between her answer and the point where her fist connected with Laura's jaw.

Within the instant of impact Ellen saw Laura's head snap to the side and her hand go straight to her face. In the moment that followed she watched as she stumbled backward a few steps, thrown off balance by the power of the strike. A second later she'd hit the side of the sofa and sunk down against it until she reached the floor.

Ellen calmly watched the site. Laura hadn't made a sound. She sat with her back against the furniture and her knees up in front of her. Her mouth was slack and her watery pond green eyes were totally unfocused as she held her hand protectively over the left side of her jawline. After watching her for a moment more Ellen crossed her hands in front of herself once again, this time putting her left hand over her now throbbing right knuckles. She walked a few paces forward until the toes of her shoes were just inches from where Laura sat. With a satisfied hum she looked down at her shocked form.

Ellen hadn't been sure of just what she was going to do to the woman at first. She'd left her cabin so overcome with rage that she could hardly think. On the way over she'd stopped to compose herself. She willed herself to stop crying and wiped away her tears. When she got to the hatch she stood there waiting for the red in her eyes to fade as she looked at her reflection in Vladi's chest. She'd started knocking as soon as she felt she looked calm enough. She'd made the decision as soon as Laura opened the door. She wanted to hit her hard. She wanted to knock her lights out. Now she'd done it. The only question left was what to do next. It had felt good. It felt better than good. It felt like finally scratching an itch that she hadn't been able to get to in ages. She wasn't done though. Not even close. She'd come to let Laura know exactly what she thought of her. The punch was just her opening line. Ellen frowned as she glanced down at her, stiff and frozen on the floor. Telling a lifeless dummy where she could stick her New Caprican tales wasn't going to be satisfying at all. Ellen wanted to make sure that she was being heard. Clearing her throat she bent her knees and crouched down beside her. She put her hands in the lap of her skirt so that Laura could see that she wouldn't be sucker punching again but the woman's eyes were staring blankly into nothing.

"Laura," Ellen called softly. She didn't answer though her eyes shook back and forth a bit. Ellen huffed. For a second she worried that she'd actually done some real damage. Sometimes she didn't know her own cylon strength. Then she remembered who she was dealing with and she smirked to herself. "Laura, look at me," She instructed keeping her voice low, even and as nonthreatening as she could.

She was slightly relieved when Laura's stunned eyes focused on her.

Laura felt nothing but a tingling and pulsing sensation at the point of impact. Later she knew it would hurt. Later her neck would be sore and her jaw would be stiff and start to bruise into a range of awful colors but right now she was too shocked to feel anything. It had taken her a moment to even realize what actually happened. By the time she'd fully recognized that she'd been hit she was already on the floor. Her mind felt blank. She was stunned.

"You look so surprised, Laura," Ellen cocked her head to the side and arched a brow. "You can't tell me that you weren't expecting it at all. You're a spiteful jealous bitch but you're an intelligent woman and you've always been a keen judge of character. You couldn't have possibly thought that I was going to let you get away with what you did today," She posed. "Which makes me think that you did it none the less; ready to take the consequences if it meant taking a shot at destroying my family."

Confusion clouded Laura's eyes and Ellen gave an antagonistic laugh in response.

"Oh, don't give me that look, Laura. Acting frakking clueless isn't going to work with me. I know you better than you think," Ellen scoffed, "And simpering on the floor doesn't suit you at all. So why don't you let me help you up so that I don't have to get on my knees to tell you what I think of you?" Ellen said rather practically.

She offered Laura her hand and watched the other woman cautiously gauge it like a serpent that could strike any moment. Ellen didn't blame her. She'd just taken the cheapest shot that she could but she no longer wanted to hurt her physically. Not again. She'd gotten it out of her system. Now she wanted Laura to hurt the way she was hurting, the way Saul was hurting. She wanted Laura to feel the doubt and pain that she'd just put into Katya's eyes. A face full of bruises just wouldn't do it. Ellen turned her palm up like she was offering it to a skittish wild doe. Finally Laura slowly reached to take it, keeping her other hand over what Ellen was sure would be a rapidly forming welt. Ellen grasped Laura's hand, stood and then leaned over to pull her up. As Laura started to rise with her head still down, Ellen wondered if she even had the strength to stand. She bent a little lower to give Laura a bit more leverage and was abruptly met with a powerful uppercut to her chin. She didn't feel the bones of the other woman's fingers connecting with her skin. What she felt was her own teeth clenching hard into the soft flesh of her bottom lip as Laura's fist forced her jaw to snap closed over it. It made her eyes go wide and she kept them open until she felt her ass hit the floor. They slammed shut as her tailbone hit the hard surface. Once she was able to open them again she saw Laura's own weary eyes looking down over her.

"Why don't you stay on your knees, Ellen? That suits you perfectly."

Confident that Ellen was down for the moment Laura let herself flop back onto the floor. She was pretty sure that most of her buzz had been knocked right out of her but she was definitely dizzy from the impact. Deciding that it could be a delayed reaction she scooted backwards away from the other woman. She rested her back against the sofa's side again and she let herself finally breathe. Her blood was pounding in her ears as she watched Ellen shaking the fog from her head. Laura saw her moving her jaw side to side, testing it for fractures and she knew right then just how hard she'd actually managed to hit her back. She silently thanked her father for every boxing match he'd ever dragged her to.

Ellen would have smiled if her mouth wasn't on fire. She surely hadn't been expecting the hit and she almost admired Laura for it. She'd underestimated her. Never did she expect the prim school teacher to match her sneaky and tactless of a shot. Ellen put the back of her hand to her lip and felt the warm sticky fluid. She pulled it away and shook her head when she saw the bright red smear on her skin. As she stared down at the blood her stomach rolled and she prayed that none had been shed in her home after she'd left. She knew that it would truly break her heart beyond repair.

After a moment Ellen peered up at Laura who was watching her with heavy eyes. She swallowed a mouthful of coppery saliva and tried to speak but to her surprise she couldn't get the words out. Shutting her eyes she rubbed at them with the palms of her hands. When she finally looked back at Laura her vision had doubled. She still couldn't manage to get a word out and now the room was starting to spin. She knew what was about to happen.

"Laura…" She managed to get out. "Laura…lay down," She warned before she seemed to seize and collapse backwards.

In an instant Laura understood that her dizziness wasn't coming from the force of Ellen's fist after all. Without much of an option she put her head down between her knees and braced for what she knew was coming. The buzzing started with her next breath. It sounded loudly a few times within the room making the walls and floors hum beneath her before the alert message came over the com system.

ACTION STATIONS. ACTION STATIONS.

ALPHA SET CONDITION ONE

ALL UNITS REPORT

LUNA FORCE, ANGEL FORCE AND HOTWING SQUADS;

REPORT TO THE FLIGHT DECK

REPEAT: ALL UNITS REPORT

LUNA FORCE, ANGEL FORCE AND HOTWING SQUADS REPORT

TO THE FLIGHT DECK.

ALL OTHERS REMAIN ON STANDBY

A pounding came from the hatch but Laura knew that she couldn't get up from where she was slumped on the floor. Her head was already spinning. She shouted out a slurred version of permission to enter. A moment later one of the marines let themselves in. Upon seeing them both on the floor the young man rushed to kneel between.

"Mrs. Tigh, Ms. Roslin, are you two alright?" He asked with worry in his voice.

He lifted Ellen's wrist to check her vitals.

"We're fine, Corporal," Laura mumbled, unable to lift her head.

They weren't fine but there was nothing anyone could do about it. It would be over soon.

"I'll get a medic team," The guard offered over the still blaring buzzing. "We'll move you both to Med Ward."

"No. There isn't any point. Just go outside," Laura ordered, dismissing him with a limp wave of her hand.

They would just be taking up valuable space in Med Ward.

The marine. hesitated to go.

"But Mrs. Tigh is bleeding," He argued.

"She bit her lip. She's fine."

"Ms. Roslin…"

"Go," She ordered more harshly. She was sick to her stomach and she didn't want to even speak. "It'll pass. Just stay at your post."

The marine slowly got up and reluctantly made his way back out of the hatch.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR C

COMMAND CONTROL CENTER/ C³

YEAR: 2315

When Katya was finally able to get up she rushed to Blazer's side. He was still out of it, catatonic on the floor of her old room. She stumbled to the door, still dizzy herself, and scanned the cabin. The alarm was blaring in her ears and she could hardly see straight. As carefully as she could she ventured passed her doorway holding onto the walls for stability. She found Saul sitting on the floor up against the kitchen cabinets right where she'd left him, right where Blaze and torn her away from him. She rushed to his side and knelt down. She felt a wrenching pain in her gut when she saw the scratch marks running down his temple. She was still so angry at him, she was still so confused but she was also humiliated. He was unresponsive but she knew that he could see her. When she stood again her vision was mostly stable. A quick check through the rest of the cabin showed that Ellen was nowhere to be found. When Katya came back to the kitchen Saul was mobile. He was struggling to stand b she couldn't bring herself to help him. She hated herself for it but she just couldn't do it. All she could see when she looked at him was Ellen, poisoned and dead. Katya told Saul to wait for Blazer's help and left for her bedroom to see if the pilot's spell had ended.

Soon they had each collected themselves enough to make their way to the control room. They ran. With every repetition of the alarm their boots went faster. When they entered things were already out of hand.

"Sit-rep," Saul barked as he made his way toward Bill.

"They sent the cavalry this time," Bill answered as he glanced down at the tactical station's projection. "Every quadrant has been breached, even Gamma. They came out in droves. Artillery ships too, not just Airbots."

"Good gods," Saul gulped, "They intend to bomb us."

Bill nodded.

"We've got three squadrons out right now making sure that doesn't happen but they've already reported losses. No news from the other stations just yet."

"Frak, look at em' all," Saul growled.

Blaze and Katya came up behind them and stared down that the projection. There were more Airbots flying in Orbit than they'd seen in years and they were already well passed the atmosphere line. Combat was in full swing and dangerously close to the station.

Kaplan joined their sides.

"We're going to lose big numbers this time," He remarked with a dejected shake of his head. "It's like something suddenly riled them up," He added before turning and barking some orders to the helm officer.

Katya stepped up to the side of the table. Every hypothetical tactical plan she'd ever arranged was running through her head and mixing together. It was a mess out there.

"This looks like it was planned," She said with shock in her eyes. "Didn't our satellites pick up anything on the surface? An attack of this magnitude with artillery ships and a fleet that large, how did we not see it coming?"

"Maybe they've had this in place for a long time," Blaze suggested. It' possible that we just missed it. Satellites have been on the fritz for the last two days while Margot and D'Anna were troubleshooting on the basestar," He reminded. "There's been some digital interference from heavy storms in the atmosphere too, some delays in data retrieval."

"Still, we would have seen something." The Captain challenged.

"Could they have veiled it?" Bill posed. "Used some kind of cloaking frequency as cover that we didn't pick up on?"

"They never have before," Saul shrugged.

Bill grunted in response.

"Looks like they just got serious."

"The number of hawks surrounding the station isn't enough," Katya announced. "Not with artillery ships out there. I'm calling for more. We need to get the next squads ready."

"You have something in mind, Cap?" Blaze asked.

"Yeah…yeah I think so."

Katya could see falcons getting hit left and right. People were already dying. She felt so guilty that she wasn't with her squad but she felt even more guilt over the fact that she was also relieved. She never thought she'd be grateful that she wasn't out there. Her perspective had changed in the span of a night. Weeks ago she would have been begging to get in her bird. She glanced over at Blaze. She saw the look on his face and she knew that was exactly what he was about to do.

"Colonel?" He attempted.

"You're not flying, Blazer," Saul answered before the boy could even really ask.

"The signal is over!" The lieutenant argued. "They need me out there. Look at it!"

"You aren't medically cleared for flight."

"Fuck it. It's a swarm! Just let me go!"

"I said no, L.T!" Tigh roared. "Get to the flight console and figure out who you're sending out next," He ordered as he looked down at the rendering to see another rocket burst into flames. "We're in need of replacements."

Saul's instructions were interrupted by the buzzing of his cuff. He looked to his wrist and after a moment the color was gone from his face.

"Colonel?" Blaze prompted.

"It's your mother."

"Athena? What did she say?"

Saul read the message to himself again and shook his head. There was nothing to be done about it now.

"Nothing, L.T. Man your post," He told him, "Now!" He added when Blazer didn't move fast enough.

Saul sent Athena a quick reply telling her to keep quiet and then returned to his crew.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 126B: ASSIGNMENT; ROSLIN/ADAMA

YEAR: 2315

Ellen was still on the floor but at least now she was able to sit up. She hung her head down and felt something in the back of her neck pop back into place. She didn't know if it was from Laura's strike or from how ridged her body went during the episode. The dizziness was all gone but now she could feel the pain in her jaw way more intensely than she had before. She took a deep breath and felt it shuddering on its way back out. Whatever was going on back at her home would stop for now, at least for the time being. She felt guilty for being so glad to hear the alarms but she was. She was actually relieved that her quadrant was under attack, that young soldiers were about to risk their lives because it meant that her husband and daughter wouldn't be tearing each other to shreds for as long as it sounded. It was pitiful. She looked back over at Laura with disgust and put the sad state of her life entirely at the other woman's feet.

"Would you frakking lower that damn thing!?" Ellen shouted at her.

"Get out, Ellen!" Laura snapped from where she still sat against the side of the sofa. She used her cuff to turn the cabin com volume as low as it would go but they could still hear it in the hallway and it still vibrated through their bodies. "I don't need you here. You're fine now. I'm fine and I sure as frak don't want you here!"

"Sorry, Laura. Station protocol. You're assigned to me during high alert," Ellen stated in a mockingly professional manner. "Besides I'm not done with you."

"You make one move toward me, Ellen and I'll wring your neck," Laura promised, her voice low and laced with acid.

Ellen laughed at her threat. She had no doubt now that she would at least try but she was over the physical violence. She didn't need it. She could slice through Laura with her words far more painfully.

"You know what really makes me sick about, you Laura?" She said, looking down again at the crimson stain on her hand. Laura didn't answer but Ellen looked over at her before she went on. "You wanted to hurt me and Saul so frakking much that you didn't even care what it was going to do to her," She accused, shaking her head in disbelief.

Laura squinted in confusion. As far as she was concerned Ellen Tigh was in the middle of a nervous breakdown. She still didn't understand what had possessed her.

"I don't know what the frak you're talking about, Ellen. You're out of your godsdamn mind."

"Bull!"

Laura rolled her eyes.

"Get out, Ellen."

"Why, Laura? Are you upset that I'm missing the big show back at my place? Hm? You want me to witness your handy work? Well I've seen all I needed to see. Today I watched my daughter, my little girl attack the man who raised her because you decided that it was your place to tell her something that we were so careful to make sure she never had to know. I watched the two people I love most in this world coming to blows with each other because of you."

In an instant Laura finally realized what happened. She should have known. Katya had left so suddenly. Laura had thought that the girl's reaction to her last comment was strange. She'd just assumed it was a sore subject. Katya hadn't known after all, had she?

The weed, the punch and the signal episode really had muddled Laura's mind. She cringed and rubbed at her temples trying to get everything straight. The buzzing was louder this time somehow, even with the volume down. She could feel it vibrating harshly under her. She shook her head and looked up.

"Ellen I didn't…"

"Frak you, Laura! You jealous bitch!" Ellen spit, turning her body to face her. "I always knew that when you came back there would be envy. I accepted that. I just never thought you'd hurt Katya to get at me and Saul!"

"Ellen she told me that she knew about New Caprica," Laura tried to explain.

"She didn't know!"

"She told me…"

"She told you that she knew that Saul killed me?" Ellen asked, cutting Laura off before she could even form a defense.

"Yes. Well…no," Laura stumbled. "Ellen she told me that she knew that you died there. I wasn't aware that she didn't know how. We were talking about what happened on the planet. I was trying to explain to her how hard it was."

"She doesn't need to know that! Laura, godsdamn it!" Ellen screeched. "You don't understand that girl at all, do you!? Do you even care to? Don't you get what she's been through? Or are you the only one who gets frakkin' sympathy for your sad story!?"

The hatch opened up and one of the guards came in.

"We heard shouting. Are you ladies alright?"

"Just leave us alone, Corporal!" Ellen snapped.

He didn't hesitate to turn on his heels and leave.

Laura didn't know what to do. She felt awful that she'd been the one to tell Katya something so horrible about two people who she loved so much but it hadn't been done on purpose. She would never do such a thing. Ellen was enraged and Laura knew that there was probably no convincing her. She'd been looking for a reason to explode on her for months, ever since their fight after the lab. Now she had all the reason that she needed.

"It was a miscommunication, Ellen. You have to believe me," Laura attempted.

"You want me to buy that? Former President of the Twelve frakkin' Colonies of Kobol!?" Ellen mocked, hitting her fist against the floor in time with the old title, "A miscommunication? I think you knew exactly what you were doing. You couldn't stand how much she loved us. Could you?"

"Ellen…"

"I stuck up for you, Laura! When Katya wanted nothing more to do with you I begged her to give you a chance. I couldn't bring you back and then just watch on as your own daughter shunned you. I begged Katya not to deprive another woman of the chance to know her child. I got her to listen to you! She would have never spoken to you again if it wasn't for me and Saul. Now you go and do this! You've ruined our entire relationship with her!"

"Ellen just hold on!"

"You didn't give two fraks about her before you found out she was yours! You looked down on her. You didn't like her. You thought she was an annoyance; Saul and Ellen's spoiled brat. And now you want to bond with her. But you don't know how, do you? You're frakking clueless so you're trashing the only real parents she's ever known!"

"Ellen, you're acting crazy," Laura snapped. She felt terrible for what happened but she wouldn't be accused of something so manipulative and devious. That was Ellen's style not hers. It figured that she would assume it was on purpose. It was exactly the kind of thing Ellen Tigh would do herself. "It was never my intention to hurt any of you. I'm sorry that it happened and I'm so sorry for whatever is happening with Katya and Saul but stop accusing me! I didn't do anything, Ellen! I'll talk to her. I'll speak to her as someone else who was there. I'll explain how hard it was for Saul. That's what I was trying to do in the first place," Laura offered, just trying to settle Ellen down and get her to back off.

It didn't work in the slightest and she flinched when Ellen lunged about a foot closer toward her and pointed an angry finger in her direction.

"No, Laura! No! Don't you dare ever talk about that with Katya again! That is not yours to talk about! You think you can just fix this? Talk your way out of it? Don't you get what you just did to her? Forget about me. Forget about Saul. Forget the fact that you've just torn our family apart. Think about the doubt you've given her. It will never go away! It can't. She can't un-know it. It's real. He killed me! And knowing that is now going to taint everything Saul and I worked so hard over the last fifteen years to give her! Stability, love, trust, and now there is a shadow cast over it forever. We're the only constant she's ever had and now it's gone thanks to you!"

"Ellen, you can't just assume how it will affect her. She's angry now but you can make her understand."

"Assume!? Assume?! She just tackled her father to the ground! She put her hands around his throat! The man who used to kiss her goodnight and check for monsters in her closet! I'm not assuming anything! I just witnessed what you've done!" Ellen shouted and burst into tears.

Laura cringed. Every word out of Ellen's mouth was grating against her throat as she screamed. Her face was beat red and her sobs were shaking her entire body as she sat crumpled on the floor. Laura couldn't believe what had just happened. She hadn't done it on purpose but she felt the crushing guilt anyway. She felt physically ill thinking of Katya going after Saul like that. When she thought of Bill her stomach truly rolled. Though she knew that he would forgive her for the mistake she couldn't bear the thought of telling him. He was so proud of Saul. He so was happy for him. Seeing him as a father had been one of the only lights in the darkness for Bill in their new existence. He was going to be devastated by this and it was all her fault. She hadn't meant to do it but she knew that she'd just made such a mess of things.

"I'm not assuming anything, Laura!" Ellen went on through her violent sobs. "I don't assume things about her! I know her! I know what this is going to do to her, to every facet of who she is! Have you given any thought to the way this girl's life started out, Laura? Have you? Because it sure doesn't seem like it!"

"Ellen, please," Laura started as she leaned forward. "She's a strong young woman you have to…"

"She was conceived as a test!" Ellen screamed back, totally cutting her off.

Laura's eyes went wide. She leaned back against the side of the sofa as hard lump formed in her throat. She wanted to stop Ellen but she suddenly couldn't speak. Her eyes welled and spilled in an instant.

"She was made as a backup plan! She came into this world to no one who truly wanted her, born to your lifeless frakkin' body! She wasn't born to be loved. She was born to be used! When she wasn't useful for her intended purpose they just used her like a lab rat instead. For the first six years of her life she hardly knew what a mother was," Ellen shook her head and cried into her hands.

Laura's own tears were streaming now but with Ellen's last remark she cringed and enough rage formed within her that she was finally able to find her voice.

"Ellen, that's not my frakking fault!"

Ellen shook her head and touched her sore red chin with the pads of her fingers. Her entire face was wet from her tears. She couldn't stop them. She wasn't even wiping them away anymore.

"No, none of that is your fault, Laura," She sniffed and shrugged. "You're right. And I knew that. Saul and I knew that and we knew that your child, Bill's child deserved so much more than what she started out with. So we did everything we godsdamn could to make her feel loved and safe. Have you even thought about what that took?" Ellen let out a powerful sob and nearly choked on it. She brought her knees up against her chest and leaned over onto them before she started again. "I learned everything that she'd been through and I tried so damn hard to make up for it all. There were countless nights of crying and nightmares because she'd seen the only person in the world who she even thought loved her die right in front of her eyes. We promised her up and down that she was safe. We swore that we would never leave her. We tried like hell to make sure that she knew that she was wanted and that she was loved. And eventually, little by little she started to believe us. Saul and I tried so hard to show her what love was. We showed her how much we loved each other and how welcome she was into that love. She grew up telling us that when she got older she wanted to fall in love with someone like that too. She based her entire marriage on the love that she saw between us. You just kicked that foundation out from under her feet!" Ellen sneered, picking her head up from her knees, "And now I have to watch her fall while you sit back and hope that she somehow comes looking to you as my replacement!"

Laura forced herself to take a hard breath through her tears but it hurt the whole way down.

"Ellen, what can I do to convince you that I didn't do this on purpose? I would never want to hurt her that way."

"Oh frak you, Laura. You hurt her plenty. You showed up months ago and dismissed her as a spoiled brat. You don't even like her," Ellen accused. "I can see that. So can she."

"Frak yourself, Ellen!" Laura returned. Her patience was gone. Now Ellen was just being cruel. She wasn't just blaming her for what Katya learned today she was digging deep for anything and everything she could sling at her, anything that would hurt. "You have no idea how I feel about her! Don't you dare try and pretend like you do. Don't you frakking dare! You have no idea. None! You're sitting here berating me for doing something I never meant to do, but Ellen, you're the one who kept it from her!"

"Yes! Yes, we kept it from her! Of course we did! Why the frak wouldn't we!? Why did that child need to know something so awful? She already knew too many harsh truths! I know that you've never raised a child, Laura," Ellen dug, "so maybe this is hard for you to understand but sometimes you protect them from hurt and pain. It wouldn't have done anything but give her more heartache. So yes, Saul and I kept it from her. We kept lots of things about New Caprica from her! Lots! I wish we hadn't told her about it at all! But Saul was so hell bent on making sure she knew you. The brave and wonderful Laura Roslin; our fearless leader, our prophet. At lot of good that did her! If I could do it over again she never would have been told that planet even existed," Ellen said shaking her head. "Didn't you ever lie to someone you loved to spare them, Laura? I really think that you have!"

Laura's wet eyes narrowed at the suggestion in Ellen's voice. She was gunning for something but Laura couldn't imagine what it was.

"It was bad enough that she knew I died. I wish I'd never told her that at all but I did and I shielded her from the rest; from the things that she didn't need to know. I protected her from the sick and the twisted horrors we faced. She didn't have to know that I frakked that deviant Cavil every other day just hoping that if I did then maybe he wouldn't go back to the detention center later in the day and cut another piece off of my husband!"

Ellen saw Laura's eyes close tight and her head go down at the mention of the cylon prison. She folded her arms on her bent knees and buried her head inside. It was as if she was trying to physically shut it out. It made Ellen want to punch her again. Old wounds had just been torn wide open for she and Saul, and inflicted on Katya and now Laura was actually trying to avoid it. She was trying to hide from it? Ellen wouldn't let her. If they had to feel it so did she.

"You know what else I didn't tell her, Laura?" Ellen seethed. "I didn't tell her how I road that bastard's brains out extra hard after you were taken into confinement because I knew what he was doing to you in there too." At that Laura finally picked her head up and looked back at Ellen with shocked pain stricken eyes. "Yeah, that's right, Laura. That scum bag would brag about it. I knew it was happening and so I banged him senseless every morning for as long as you were detained, hoping that he'd be too tired to bother Saul and too spent to touch you. I didn't like you Laura but I didn't need to hear what he was doing to you on top of everything else. I frakked him to the max just hoping he'd be satisfied enough to keep his hands off of you because at least I wasn't be forced. No matter how little I cared for you I knew that you didn't deserve that, as a woman, as a person." Ellen couldn't help that she was getting a sick satisfaction out of the mortification and astonishment on Laura's face. She'd kept it to herself for ages, never even sharing it with Saul but now she couldn't help bringing it to light. "Yeah, I knew it, Laura. I bet you thought that you brought that one to your grave with you. Tell me; was that something you chose to spare Bill the pain of knowing? I just bet it was. You thought that you kept it all hidden inside so that no one else had to bear it but you. Well, now you know. I've been carrying that secret around for you over the last two millennia and I've never told a soul because it wasn't frakking mine to tell!" Ellen screeched as she pounded both fists against the rug.

"Ellen stop it!" Laura choked out. "Just frakking stop! Please!"

She did stop. Ellen crossed her arms over her bent knees and cried into them as Laura's sobbed into the palms of her hands.

Laura would have gladly let Ellen give her another left hook across the face if she would have just stopped talking. Everything that she was saying hurt so much deeper than a fist ever could. Laura tried with everything she had to push the images out of her mind as Ellen spoke but the shock of the other woman's admission was shoving every memory forward in a new and even harsher light. She didn't for a second doubt the validity of Ellen's confession. She heard the raw honesty, pain and utter disgust in her voice loud and clear even as she tried to block it out. It made Laura feel nauseated to know that someone else knew what went on back then. She'd been so careful to make sure that it was always just her own painful memory to bear. To learn that Ellen had somehow tried to prevent it in her own twisted way made Laura feel like her head might explode. Two hundred thousand years had passed and it happened all over again. Though it was clinical this time and though she hadn't been aware enough to claim the memories of it now there was living breathing proof of what had been done to her. This time everyone knew and there was no hiding it. Katya was alive to show for it. This time Laura felt ashamed to feel ashamed. And this time, just like the last, Ellen Tigh had been the only one who tried to help. She'd done what little she could to stop it back then, keeping the secrets and pain of another woman held within her for centuries. This time she'd sheltered and cared for the result of what she couldn't prevent. Laura was dumbfounded at the realization but she couldn't thank her for any of it. It felt wrong to even consider it. Ellen wouldn't want her gratitude for that, at least not New Caprica. Whatever Ellen had done for her back then out of sympathy, she now was throwing back in her face to make a point. She'd surely made it well enough.

Laura's sobs wouldn't quit coming. They came in violent uncontrollable heaves and persisted on and on. It was when she thought that she couldn't possibly take the sound of herself crying anymore that she realized she'd actually already stopped. The halting breaths and strangled whimpers she'd been hearing for the last little while were all coming from Ellen. Laura peered over at her with bleary eyes. The other woman looked as broken as she felt herself. How could they possibly fix this? Ellen was right; Katya was ill tempered, emotionally damaged and held entirely too much anger inside of herself. Explaining Saul's actions to her, even just getting her to listen would be near impossible. It wasn't something that could be explained to even the most rational of people. Anyone who could have come close to understanding what he'd done had been there at the time but even back then, it was an act far too personal for anyone other than the Tighs to truly grasp. In the moment Laura hated Ellen but she pitied her. She'd come to know the child they shared well enough to understand what this would do. Laura knew that if she were in Ellen's shoes she'd surely be just as devastated but she also knew that she wouldn't be spending her energy trying like hell to blame someone else. That was the difference between them.

They hadn't spoken for some time and Laura couldn't listen to Ellen's bawling and ignore the reluctant sympathy she felt any longer.

"Ellen, knowing about what Saul did…" Laura meekly started, "it won't take away anything that he's done for Katya in the past…She'll see that."

Ellen palmed her head and took a big breath that felt like knives in her sternum. She tried to clear her throat and it felt like sandpaper.

"No it won't take it away," She answered, now hoarse and weary. "It'll just cast ugly doubt over it all. Kat knows that Saul loves me more than anything and now she knows that he was able to take my life anyway. How do I explain that to her, Laura? Hm? How do I explain that to someone who's never had a solid surface to stand on literally or figuratively? How? Do you really think anyone can fix this for her? You think you know the answer? You don't even know her."

Whatever empathy Laura felt for Ellen went out the door with her last remark. She could see that the woman was nearly spent and still she kept firing off the emotional ammo.

"Stop saying that like I ever had the frakking option! Frak you ,Ellen! So help me if you say it again I'll crawl over there and beat the words right out of your mouth! I understand perfectly well that I don't know her! I had to wake up from the dead and find out that I had a baby who I never got the chance to know and you're somehow blaming me for that?! Why? So you can make yourself feel better about how she feels about you?! You're calling me bitter and jealous when that's all that you are yourself! You may be hurting but you don't know how this feels. You don't know how it hurts. I missed my daughter's life. I'll never get it back!"

"Don't call her that!" Ellen harshly rasped, "She's not your daughter. You didn't want her. I bet you never did. Even in your last life. I've known plenty of women like you in my time. Something tells me that you must have avoided that possibility like a deathly plague."

Ellen couldn't help herself anymore. She was throwing anything at Laura that she could think of just to make sure she felt the same amount of hurt that she'd caused. She wasn't even truly sure that Laura had told Katya on purpose anymore. Perhaps she hadn't but she wanted to take it all out on her anyway.

"You think you have me all figured out, Ellen," Laura hissed, "But whatever you're trying to make me into in order to distance me from her in your head, it doesn't matter. All that matters to me is that she's here now. My past is dead, Ellen. It died with me. She's here now and so am I and I didn't have to want her to love her."

"You think you love her now?" Ellen scoffed, "Why? Because she's biologically yours? I wanted her through my entire existence. She was what I wanted most. I wanted a child so badly and I could never make it happen and it killed me inside for years.I love her, Laura! You don't even know how."

She'd failed at having a baby with Saul on their Earth but when they made their way to the Twelve Colonies she saw another chance. Ellen could remember when all she wanted was to be loved by the closest things she ever had to children; her eight cylon models. After thousands of years traveling across the galaxy she'd given them life, not from her own body but with all the knowledge and energy she had left to offer and yet they didn't see her as their mother. Only Daniel ever thought of her as something close and he was so cruelly taken from her.

"I just wanted someone to call my baby, and finally, after so many countless years of heartbreak I found that in Katya and I couldn't even let her call me mommy because we were always sitting around waiting for you! Just so you could turn your nose up at her."

Laura swallowed hard.

"I'm sorry that you dealt with that, Ellen but your ancient bitterness has nothing to do with my relationship with Katya. Nothing."

"My bitterness didn't do anything but make me love her more. And you know what? It helped me find a way to help her. As heartbreaking as it's always been for me, as senseless as it's always seemed, I finally found some frakked up benefit to it. As sick as it sounds I felt like my suffering had some purpose because Katya had someone to explain it to her who knew how it felt. I'm almost glad that I dealt with it because it meant that I could help her deal with it too. That's how much I love her, Laura."

A deep rumble followed Ellen's words. They felt the floor quake beneath them.

"What was that?" Laura asked.

Ellen shook her head gulped back some air.

"I think I felt the cannons being extended before," She admitted. "It could be the sound of their fire."

Laura shivered and Ellen couldn't do anything but let out a mix of a sigh and a whimper before easing herself back down against the floor. Something bad was happening in Orbit. She knew it and she couldn't do anything about it but block it out. Her head hurt from screaming and crying and being hit by Laura's bony fist. The signal episodes took more out of her than she ever admitted and it was all catching up to her. She let herself lie back hoping it would help. She just didn't care anymore. Whatever she had left to throw at Laura she could do it on her back.

"What did you mean by that?" Laura asked after a few moments. "When you said that you were able to help Katya through it too."

"I mean, Laura," Ellen huffed from where she lounged on the floor, "that because you're her mother and because Bill's her father Katya has been punished her entire life in a hundred different ways; one of them being her infertility. That body we made for you is pretty perfect but sadly when two clones reproduce it doesn't leave the next generation quite able to do the same," She alluded. "I had to tell a thirteen year old girl that whether she ever wanted to or not, her chances of ever becoming a mother were abysmal. Then at sixteen I had to explain to her that if she stayed with the man that she loved those abysmal chances would all but disappear."

Laura could feel that her mouth was hanging open but she couldn't bring herself to close it. Now she understood exactly what Katya had told her before. She knew why she'd heard the strange pain in her voice when she'd told her little coming of age story. She finally understood why Ellen had hugged onto her tight, refusing to leave her alone that day. To know that it was just another consequence of being her child made Laura's heart ache. She closed her eyes and tried to think of the sound of rain on a rooftop, nothing but the rain.

"And at least in that moment…" Ellen continued, "…the burden and heartache I dealt with for centuries helped me know what she was feeling. It helped me know what to say and what not to say and it gave her someone to relate to who knew the pain and the disappointment and the godsdamn feeling of inadequacy first hand. At least I could offer her that. I've given her everything I had to give; my love, my heartbreak my frakking tired old soul and you just trashed it," Ellen accused, looking up at the ceiling, "What the hell have you given her? Disappointment, doubt, tears."

Laura had enough. She'd hit her breaking point.

"What the frak do you want from me, Ellen!?" The sheer anger in her voice seemed to carry her across the floor and suddenly she was looking down on Ellen who was staring up at her with wide eyes. "What is it that you want to hear from me!? I swear to you that I didn't tell her about New Caprica to hurt your family. I swear it. I can't tell you anything but the truth. But you're never going to believe me are you!? You won't because it's not what you want to believe. So what are you here for? Why did you come, besides to punch me in the frakking face!? What are you trying to do? What's going to make this better!?" Laura kneeled over Ellen who was stunned on her back in the face of her fury. "Do you want to hear me say that Katya loves you?! Of course she does! Do you want to hear me say that even if she could ever find a way to love me too that it would never come close to the way she feels about you? Do you want to hear about how it kills me to see the way you and Saul look at her when you're together because I so badly wish I had that bond with Bill? Do you want to hear that you've probably made a better mother to her than I ever could have, even in the best of circumstances? That I see how naturally it comes to you while for me it's just forced and awkward no matter how much I wish that it wasn't? Do you want to hear that I'm doing my absolute frakking best with her but that I already know it's never going to be good enough!? Do you need me to admit to you that you'll always be the person who she thinks of as her mother? You are! I know it! She knows it! Everyone frakking knows it! Does that satisfy you, Ellen!? Or do you need to know how much it all hurts me too? How it hurts to feel so frakking inferior to you!? Do you want to hear that I'm so pathetically frakking jealous every time I see a picture or a recording of the two of you, and whenever she talks about you and I see so much love and admiration in her eyes? I am! I'm frakking jealous! Is that better!? I'm jealous as hell and I can't even just sit back feel that envy because at the same time I'm so godsdamn eternally grateful that she had you! She had you and that's the only frakking comfort that I have in all of this, Ellen! I hate you, godsdamn it, but at least my baby had you!"

Ellen's eyes were stunned wide and her mouth hung open as Laura towered over her. She was still letting every single one of the other woman's rage filled words burn their way through her when the hatch opened again and a marine burst in. They both looked toward the guard; Ellen still laying on the floor and Laura beside her on her knees.

"We've been boarded, ladies. You're going to have to come with us."

LOCATION: DELTA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR C

MED WARD

YEAR: 2315

When the alarms sounded on Delta Tawny was still in the brig. She and Anders had been talking for a while. His shoulder was stitched and he was still refusing treatment for his ribs but she found herself actually enjoying his company. She'd heard nothing but horrible complaints about the man since his download. Margot and Alexi seemed to despise him. Katya seemed to fear him and the Tighs and the Admiral were all beyond frustrated with him. She wasn't sharing their collective experience. Though his interrogation over Katya had been a bit off putting it seemed to calm him when she answered his questions to the best of her ability. He even respected her limits when it came to what she would share and soon they were able to get off of the subject completely. They spoke about the stations. Tawny told him a little about her training and Anders even spoke a bit about his own time as a scientist. They shared a few experiences and even laughed a little. It was only when Tawny brought up Margot that he became upset with her.

"I don't want to talk about that girl, Doc," He'd told her with an agitated look in his eyes. "I'm sorry that's all there is to it."

She'd calmly nodded as she sat beside him on his cot.

"That's fine. I just have to say one thing." She wasn't afraid of him and she felt comfortable enough to tell him her opinion."It's alright if you don't want to know her. No one is going to force you. Everyone understands what was done and that it isn't easy to accept. If you'd rather not acknowledge Margot as your daughter, I guess I can understand that but with all due respect, please don't try to use her." When Sam furrowed his brow she decided to go on. "I heard that you went to her to try and get closer to Kat. That's how you wound up in here. I don't mind if that's all you're doing with me. And I know that Ellen can handle you spending your days doing the same to her but don't do that to Margot. It isn't fair. If that's all you want from her then please don't go to her at all. Those four have been used enough. She doesn't deserve that."

To her surprise Sam had only nodded in acceptance. She was ready to leave when she saw the look in his eyes change. They went totally unfocused, his pupils dilated in seconds and before she knew it he'd seized and collapsed over. She shot up from where she sat and lay him back on the cot. At first she thought that he might be experiencing some kind of delayed reaction to cranial trauma. She considered that his repeated combat with the marines could have involved and unreported head injury. She called his name over and over but found him unresponsive. She tried shining her cuff light in his eyes and though his pupils seemed to respond his eyeballs were stunned stationary in their sockets. She finally understood what was happening and less than a moment later the alarms sounded confirming her suspicion.

If there was a quadrant breach she knew that there was a good chance that Delta's ward would be in need of her medical help relatively soon. She had no intentions of leaving Sam's side while he was feeling the effects of the signal. She called for his marine guard to come back in and demanded a med transport.

Sam was loaded onto a stretcher and taken to Med Ward. Tawny stayed by his side all the way from the brig. She was relieved when he came to before they even arrived but he hadn't come out of the episode with the quite the same demeanor as he'd gone in. Tawny finally witnessed what everyone had been talking about. Sam was combative as the medics tried to transfer him to a bed. He yelled and swore. He even tried to get up and leave. Tawny couldn't calm him down. His angry voice rivaled the bleating sound of the station's alarm. She knew that if she didn't act quickly he was going to be taken right back to the brig. She gave the order to sedate him. The drugs settled him before he could do much damage. He'd been sleeping ever since.

The injured pilots started coming in quickly. Far more quickly than Tawny had expected. Delta's doctors were grateful to have her assistance. She was glad to lend a hand but she felt awful knowing that her father would be on his own back on Alpha. She'd gotten word that there was a breach over every quadrant, even Gamma. It meant that they were about to see far more bloodshed than they had in quite some time. She lost two patients in a matter of forty-five minutes. The rest were badly injured. She couldn't get a sit-rep from Alpha no matter how many times she tried.

When there was finally a lull in triage she went to check on Sam. She had a patient who had a slow internal bleed and she knew that soon she was going to be running the surgical laser console and unable to attend to him for a while. When she entered his curtain he was groggy but awake. He was mumbling to himself; strange things that she couldn't understand.

"Life here began out there…"

"Anders?" She started as she gently smoothed some of his hair back. "It's Tawny."

She frowned when it seemed like her voice hadn't even registered in his ears.

"Anders?"

"Doc," He finally answered.

"Yeah, that's right," She smiled. "I'm sorry I had to do that to you. I had to sedate you. You were going to wind up in more trouble and I can't help you that way."

He shook his head and continued mumbling on.

"Life here began out there, they said, again and again. Conjured leaders; the mother, the father, the traitor. Three, Six, Eight, a star, a star return for the salvation of the legacy. End of line."

Sam's daft stream of nonsense made Tawny's eyes nearly bug out of her head. She still wasn't convinced that he wasn't also experiencing some kind of neurological episode on top of his signal episode. She took her tablet from her lab coat and ordered him a brain scan to be sure. She knew that the ward staff wasn't going to be happy. He had a bad reputation in Delta's clinic but she didn't care. She wanted it done. They owed this man the very planet they orbited. They'd brought him back from the dead to save it. The least they could do was deal with his tantrums and make sure that the body they'd put him in was healthy.

Tawny had messaged Dr. Le Blanc when they first arrived at the infirmary. She was hoping for some assistance when it came to Sam's care. Her response was infuriating. She said that Mr. Anders was no longer her patient and that her part in the project had come to an end. Tawny wanted to kill the woman. She'd been part of it from the beginning. She'd been a pioneer of the misguided project offshoot that resulted in the four descendants. Now she was just bowing out? Sam's earlier words echoed in Tawny's mind; Good riddance. If Le Blanc didn't want to take responsibility for the body she'd created then Tawny was happy to do it for her.

Sam's eyes were closed as he spoke but when she lifted his lids to test his pupils they were responsive.

"Anders, can you tell me where you are?" She tested as he repeated the same gibberish over again. "Anders?"

He nodded.

"Where are we?"

"Earth," He told her. "Above Earth."

"Okay. That's right. And you remember me, right?"

"Doc."

"And Ellen?"

"She left me," He cringed. "She's mad at me."

"Okay. Alright, Anders. She's coming back soon. It's okay," She assured him. "I have to go into surgery now. Will you rest until I can get back out?"

"A star, a star…"

Tawny felt strange every time Anders started reciting the jumbled words.

"What?"

"Conjured leaders; the mother, the father, the traitor. Three, Six, Eight, a star, a star return for the salvation of the legacy."

"Anders?"

"A star, a star," He repeated. "It was Starbuck after all."

"Anders what's that mean? What are you saying?"

Sam shook his head and winced. Tawny saw tears start to leak out of the corners of his eyes.

"She's here," He said as his voice cracked.

"Who? Who's here?"

"Kara, I mean…I mean Katya…no…that's not right," He cried.

"It's okay, Anders. Take your time."

"We were together for ages. We were happy. We were at peace."

"Where were you, Anders?"

"On the other side. We were content. We were with people we loved. We were together, our souls were together but then…then she saw..."

"Who? Saw what?"

"Kara, she saw what was about to be done to Roslin. She saw what was about to be done to Roslin and Adama and the rest and she then left me. She said she had to leave. She said she had to go to them. She told me she would see me soon. Then she just left. She was gone. I couldn't find her."

"You couldn't find Kara?"

"Katya."

Tawny felt the hair on the back of her neck stand up as if she'd been charged with some kind of static electricity.

"Sam, I…"

"You have to help me, Tawny," He begged. His heavy eyes fluttered wildly as he fought against the drugs in his system. "I need to talk to her. I need to talk to all of them. You have to help me, Doc."

Tawny nodded. She didn't know what he was talking about but for some reason she didn't think it was the drugs clouding his judgment after all.

"I will. I will, Anders. I promise," She told him as she reached for his hand. She gave it a firm assuring squeeze and let go. She left his side for the counter and went to work loading her syringe pistol. She couldn't have him spouting his ethereal prose while she was gone. The previous sedative was wearing off and he was only going to become more mobile and anxious. She had to save him from himself. "I'm going to make sure you get to her, Anders," She told him as she shot another dose into his neck. "One way or another. I promise."

"Thank you." He reached up for her hand but his arm fell weak by his side. His voice was fading and Tawny knew that he would sleep through her surgery. She took his hand again to reassure him. "Thank you, Doc." He whispered before passing out.

"I'll…do what I can."

She discarded the pistol and went to prep for surgery. Before she could make it out of the curtain she felt a familiar vibration under her feet, one she hadn't felt since she was a child. The station's canons were being extended. A moment later she felt another more jarring sensation that she'd spent years trying to forget; Delta Station had been hit.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR C

COMMAND CONTROL CENTER/ C³

YEAR: 2315

The situation had escalated at a rapid pace. They had pilots out from every squadron and still they seemed to be outnumbered. The airbots and bot artillery ships had been able to advance well beyond a safe distance from the station. The tactical plans that Katya tried only served to delay them. When Alpha Station took its first hit Kaplan ordered that the station's canons be extended.

Only moments after they'd received word that Delta Station had also taken a massive hit a thundering rumble barreled through Alpha. A new alarm sounded over the buzzing of the com. There had been an explosion. The sensors indicated that it had come from a rarely used loading dock on the military side of the station. When in-flight pilots started to report they confirmed that the blast had come from a bot artillery ship. The explosion had caused the seal on the old loading dock's landing pod to blow leaving the minimally guarded entrance wide opened. The first reports signaled that two airbots had entered, then four. The next reported that the artillery ship had connected to the loading dock. Before it could be fired off of the dock by a small fleet of patrol hawks it was reported that an unknown number of bots had disembarked the bot ship and loaded onto Alpha's dock. There were frantic communications from marines in the area as combat began on station but soon there weren't any voices left on the dock to come through.

"Lt. Bishop, Cpt. Isakoff," Kaplan blustered. "You're done here. Your orders are to get Admiral Adama to the lower decks and make sure that he gets safely into bunker A. You'll be taking three of the control hatch marine guards. I'll have them replaced."

Katya and Alexi nodded and left their stations.

"Colonel Tigh," Kaplan continued, "As always your place is by Admiral Adama's side during high alert. You'll accompany him there and stay with him until this is through."

"Yes, Sir," Saul replied. "Keep one of your guards though. I'd like your permission to call for a centurion if you don't mind."

"Granted."

"Admiral," A marine called, holding out a bulletproof vest in Bill's direction.

Bill knew he had to leave. They couldn't risk having him out in the open. The duty he'd taken on could only go so far. He took the vest, strapped it on and turned to Saul ready to follow.

"What about Laura?"

"She and Ellen Tigh have already been escorted there, Admiral," Kaplan answered.

"Fuck, I'm not armed," Katya groused, realizing that she'd rushed to the control room in civilian clothes.

An officer nearby quickly stripped her own hip holster and handed it to the captain. A marine guard offered her a thigh strap and pistol along with an additional side arm. The captain quickly strapped them on and loaded up. Once the centurion showed at the hatch they were ready to go.

"Do not under any circumstances lose sight of that man," Kaplan commanded. "Don't even blink. Get him there safely, not a scratch."

"Yes, Sir," The three answered in unison.

Soon they were out in the halls. Blazer and Katya flanked Bill while Saul was at his back. The marines walked behind the colonel with the centurion as lead up front. The feed coming from the marine's cuffs was confusing. Nothing seemed definite. They would get reports of how far the bots had advanced only to find out moments later that it had changed. Halls were designated clear and then in the next minute gunfire would be reported in the very same area. They couldn't be sure that their path was safe. The only solace they took was the absence of the sound of shots ahead. They heard the tandem alarms, the rumbling of the cannons and the pelting the station's exterior was taking but there didn't seem to be any noise coming from the halls ahead.

"We'll get ya' there Bill," Saul told him. "It's a ways to the center of the station. These bunkers were designed with you in mind. They used to be surplus arms lockers."

"That's comforting," Bill caustically grunted.

They walked further and further, weapons drawn stopping at every corner and apex to clear it before they continued. Their confidence in the com updates was finally gone once they heard the sound of gunfire behind them. It was far away and whatever was there now they'd manage to miss but there was no way that they would be taking the same route back.

They nearly fell over each other when the centurion came to an abrupt stop.

"We've got a problem," One of the marines called.

"What the frak is all this?" Saul shouted as they came upon a wall to wall stack of crates blocking their path.

"Looks like someone made a barricade and abandoned the area, Sir," The marine answered.

"Godsdamn it."

"Well, look we need to make a decision," Blaze interjected. "Either we hop it, we go left and take a longer route or we go back."

"We can't go back," Katya answered. "I still hear shots."

"Okay, fine left or start climbing?" Blaze posed.

"The Old Man and I can't get over that mess," The Colonel added.

"Thanks for the confidence, Saul," Bill said with a roll of his eyes.

"Well we can't just stand here," One of the marines chimed in. "The shots behind us are getting louder. Your orders, Colonel?"

"Sergeant Wells you and your Corporal give a look over the barricade. I haven't heard a shot yet in that direction. It sounds quiet. Whoever made this might have done it out of panic. Whatever they thought was coming this way might have made a wrong damn turn or went another way. Taking any other route is going to tack on time. Check it. If it's clear I'll have the centurion move some of the crates away so we can pass."

"Yes, Sir," The Sergeant answered.

Saul and Katya took post in back and Blaze and the bullethead to the left as the marines carefully climbed the stacked crates. The only sounds of gunfire were still coming from the halls that they had already passed. Despite the strange stack of boxes it sounded as if their path was clear. If they could just get passed the barrier they would only have a short trip to a service lift that would bring them down to the lower levels.

Sergeant Wells made it to the top level of crates and motioned for his Corporal to halt. He just needed enough of a look to clear the area. He carefully rested his rifle atop the box's cover and poked his head up just past his nose.

The Corporal saw the Sergeant's body blow back before the sound of the shot even registered in his ears. The dead man hit the ground with a thump, the hole between his eyes still smoking.

"Open fire!" The Corporal shouted as a shining featureless face appeared over the barricade."It's a trap!"

The centurion turned and fired at will, pelting the bot's oversized head with bullets and knocking it back but it was quickly replaced by two others who were scaling the crates with the ease of insects.

"Bill, get behind us!" Tigh ordered, "Keep your weapon drawn but don't fire unless you have no other choice."

As hard as it was for Bill to do he listened to his friend's orders and made his way a few feet behind Blazer just as one of the silver creatures slung it's long spindly leg over the tower of boxes.

"Knock 'em off before they can shoot!" Blaze shouted, opening fire at the machine.

Katya came to his side. She aimed for the bot's chromed knob of a hip. Though centurion fire was highly damaging to the lanky machines the system's military weapons were less effective. It wasn't enough to just hit them. They had to be taken out at the right spots. Their connective joints and heads were most susceptible. There was also a five inch section of their chests that seemed to do the trick. Katya fired four rounds but missed her moving target. She narrowed her eyes when she looked to the spot where her bullets had hit the crates. The smoke that they were emitting was strange.

"Oh fuck!"

"What!?"Blaze shouted.

"What is it?" The corporal echoed.

"Watch your fire!" She screamed as she ducked down and tried to read the stamp on the sides of the boxes.

The smoke was getting thicker and it was starting to sting her eyes.

"What!? Koshka, what are you talking about?!"

She could hardly hear Blaze over the constant shots he was firing. Finally she focused enough to make out the letters marking the lower containers.

"Don't hit the crates!" She frantically warned. "Don't hit the fucking crates!"

"What!? Why?!" Blazer barked back.

He was trying to keep his eyes open through the smoke long enough to knock back just one of the tin bastards but the haze was burning his eyes more and more. There was no way that he could be sure the fire of his guns wouldn't hit a damned crate.

"It's a shipment of pine tree oil from Beta! Flammable! It could blow!" She warned before she saw one of the bots jump down from the stack and aim for the Colonel. "Uncle Saul!"

The centurion guard quickly put himself in between Tigh and the slender enemy and opened a hail of fire that blew the bot backwards right into the barricade. Its chest sparked once, then twice igniting a small flame.

"Oh, fuck!" Katya screamed. "Fall back! Fall back!"

Blaze took Bill by the arm and shoved him to the left into the only open hall. They ran a few feet before Blaze threw himself onto the Admiral's back as they heard the boxes start to combust. It was a low boom but it was big enough to send the tower of crates falling forward. As they spilled over they blocked the entrance to the hallway cutting them off from where they'd left Katya and Saul. From where he covered the Admiral Blaze turned his head and watched as the fallen boxes ignited from the flames behind them. They started to smoke and smolder.

He rolled off of the Adama and got to his feet.

"Are you alright, Sir!?"

When Bill nodded Blaze crouched down to help him to his feet.

"I'm fine. Where are the others?"

Blaze couldn't see a damn thing past the smoke and flames. Wherever the Colonel and Katya were they couldn't get back to them. There were at least five smoking crates blocking them and they could blow at any time once the fire caught. It hurt but Blaze knew that he had to leave them. He had to get Bill out of there before anything else exploded and now he was on his own. It was up to him to get the Admiral to safety. He knew that if he let anything happen to the man that Katya would kill him before any bot could. They had to get going. He hesitated for only a split second.

"They'll have to go another way! They still have the centurion and the Corporal with them. They'll be fine," He said trying to convince Bill. Somehow saying out loud made him feel more confident that it was true. "Admiral, follow me!"

Bill didn't want to leave them. He knew they were there right on the other side of the flames and smoke. He was running away from his friend and his daughter. How could he go down to the bunkers and tell Ellen that? How could he face Laura and tell her that he'd left their child to the monsters he'd just seen..

"Admiral, eyes forward!" Blaze barked.

Bill couldn't look back anymore. He had to get to Laura and hope that they'd be alright. The two men took off down the hallway to find a new route.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

MILITARY SECTOR

CENTRAL APEX UNIT

BUNKER: A1

YEAR: 2315

Vladi and the other guards escorted Ellen and Laura to some kind of central bunker deep within the station. It seemed like they'd walked forever through twists and turns before finally coming to their destination. They'd walked so far into the station's depths that they could hardly hear the alarms anymore. They still felt the rumbling, though. It meant the cannons were in use. Their requests for information weren't being answered by their security and neither of them were getting any answers from the messages they sent on their station cuffs. Ellen assured Laura that Bill would be brought to them. Military or not he was too valuable to risk. There was no way that Kaplan would let him serve in any capacity if they were in fact boarded. He would be brought to a concealed shelter the same as they had been. Ellen figured that he would have been there waiting for them when they arrived but he still hadn't shown.

In her fifteen years aboard Alpha Ellen had never seen the part of the station she was in. She always prayed that she never would. It looked like a prison cell and she was stuck with just about the worst bunkmate she could imagine. They were both just sitting there waiting while their faces bruised from each other's fists. She could tell that Laura was petrified. She sat on the opposite side of the bunker atop a small cot that was identical to the one Ellen lounged face-down upon as she sent message after message trying to get some kind of sit-rep. When her cuff finally buzzed it was Kaplan letting her know that Bill was enroute to the bunker.

"Take a frakkin' breath, Laura. Vladi is right outside the hatch with half a dozen marines and Bill's on his way," She muttered before putting her head down on the mattress.

She heard Laura flop back in relief. Ellen had to bite her tongue in anger. Laura may have gotten word of Bill but she still didn't know where Saul or Katya were and she knew that she probably wouldn't until it was all over.

"What do they look like?" Laura asked after a while.

"Huh?"

"The bots. What do they look like?"

"You've never bothered to look them up?"

"No," She admitted.

"I'm glad you've taken this all so seriously," Ellen groaned into her arms.

"I've looked up the prophecy. I've been reading it. I have…I guess I was just avoiding that part. I want to be ready now...just in case."

Ellen shook her head and then leaned up to fiddle with her cuff.

Laura's wrist buzzed a few moments later and when she looked down there was a message from Ellen with an attached image. She hesitated before swiping her finger to open it. Once she did she had a moment of panic realizing that she could never un-see it. The bots weren't at all what she'd expected. She would never admit it but she'd just been picturing centurions in her mind the entire time. She knew it was wrong but they were all that she could relate them to. She supposed it hadn't helped her become comfortable with the guardian centurions on station and it had kept her wary of Vladi in particular as he stayed parked outside of her home. What she saw in the image was far different than the bullet heads that haunted her dreams as a child. It was far worse. The centurions had always looked menacing and aggressive but what she was staring at now was startlingly creepy and sinister. The machines were tall with lanky limbs and a large bulbous head that seemed far too big for their thin shiny bodies. There were no eyes to speak of and she suddenly looked back fondly on the sweeping red glow of the centurion gaze. They reminded her of the wooden manikins used in her college art classes; faceless, disjointed, eerily humanoid yet totally vapid. She didn't want to look anymore. She swiped it away and closed her eyes tight wishing that she'd never asked.

"Not a pretty picture, hm?" Ellen taunted. "Vladi looks pretty sweet and cuddly right about now, doesn't he?"

"You've never experienced a station ambush?" Laura asked.

Ellen sighed and shook her head.

"No. Not here. We moved here after the last attack aboard Alpha. We lived here when Beta and Gamma were boarded but Alpha hasn't been invaded since Isakoff was killed. The kids have all been through at least one in their lives."

Laura brought her knees up on the bed and hugged them tight.

"He's on his way, Laura," Ellen halfheartedly assured. "Just shut up and try to relax."

Laura watched the other woman laying face down on the bed with her head hidden in the hollow of her folded arms and she just knew instinctively that she was trying to project. She wasn't quite sure how she knew but she did. She knew exactly where she was too. Katya had told her that Ellen used the tactic during times of high stress. She could still remember what Ellen's beach looked like, as scared as she had been to see it. The shore was warm, the water was calm and the sunset was bright. She pictured the version of Katya from her own beach dream sitting by Ellen's side instead of hers. She imagined the little girl happily playing next to the blonde, counting pebbles and digging with her little yellow shovel. Ellen had brought Katya there to spare her from fear and worry. She'd sheltered her and protected her as best as she could.

"Ellen," Laura called.

She saw her wince and she was positive then that she'd interrupted her concentration.

"What now?" Ellen muttered into her arms.

"Ellen could…could you read me?"

Ellen slowly picked her head up and squinted her eyes at Laura as the bunker came back into view.

"What the frak are you talking about?"

"Katya says that she can read you sometimes and that you can do the same to her. She says that it's one of the cylon abilities that she has. You know that I have them too. You've know for a while now, haven't you?"

Ellen rolled her eyes and put her head back down.

"I know that you can do it to Saul and Sharon," Laura continued, "even the centurions…but if you can read Katya then couldn't you do it to me too?" When Ellen didn't answer Laura pressed on." Couldn't you, Ellen?" She repeated.

"Of course I frakking could," Ellen snapped.

"Then do it."

"What in the hell for?"

"Because it's the only way that I can think of to prove to you that I never meant to tell Katya about New Caprica on purpose."

Ellen picked her head up and looked at Laura with a sense of disgust.

"I have no interest in reading you, Laura."

"Why not?"

"I hardly want to look at you."

"Is it because you want to be able to blame me?" Laura tested. She watched as Ellen put her head back down and shook it in her arms. "Or is it because you're afraid of what you'll learn? Are you scared to find out how I really feel about Katya? That you're not the only one who loves her like a mother anymore?"

Ellen leaned up on her elbow and stared right into Laura's eyes.

"I'll hit you again," She warned.

"I don't think that you will."

"Oh," Ellen scoffed with a caustic laugh as she sat up on the side of her cot, "What are you reading me now?"

"Could I?" Laura asked honestly. "I mean if I tried?"

"There's no way in hell I'd ever frakking let you."

"No. I mean am I able?" Laura shrugged.

Ellen shook her head and looked away.

"I don't know what the frak you can do or can't do, Laura. But you know what? Just don't. Don't bother. Not with that. That part of it…it's not frakking worth it," Ellen sighed as she put her elbows on her shaking thighs and bowed her aching head into her hands.

"I think it is," Laura contended. "If you know the truth about New Caprica then whatever resentment you have left toward me is your own doing."

"My own doing?"

"Yes, Ellen. What the hell have I done wrong? I'm sorry for the way things started out between Katya and me but I was in a poor state of mind back then and you have to admit that I was hardly given the chance to gauge my actions toward her. Even you can't seriously blame me for that. I don't think she does anymore. So now what?" Laura shrugged. "Ellen, you're just mad that I'm here and I can't help that. You brought me back. I can't apologize for existing when it wasn't my fault. You did this. Now I'm here. If you think that I don't understand your jealousy then you're wrong. I've admitted that to you but, Ellen…why would you be jealous of me? You've already gotten everything."

"Everything!?" Ellen spat. "In no way did I get everything. I got the hardest parts! I got a damaged little girl who I tried desperately to fix. And even though it's been hard I've loved every moment of it. I've loved it but I missed so damn much. I missed her birth. I missed her first steps and her first words. Hell, she already spoke three godsdamn languages by the time I got a hold of her! I missed out on plenty that I wish I could get back every day of my life. I didn't get everything! I never got to rock my baby to sleep!"

"Neither did I! Gods, Ellen! Neither did I! I missed all of that and more! And I'm never getting any of it back! Do you think those godsdamn videos and pictures really help!? Do you think seeing that I gave birth to her makes me able to know what it felt like? I don't. I never will. You feel so frakking cheated out of it all but so was I godsdamn it!"

"Laura, please stop talking to me."

"No."

"Should I just make you stop then?"

"Ellen, I can't stop. I need to talk to you."

"Ugh! Just leave me alone!"

"No!"

"Why the frak not!?"

"Because I get it now! I get that I can't have any part of Katya without you! Ever since I found out I wake up every morning trying to wrap my mind around the fact that I had a baby. And then I have to tell myself that the drunken wreck of a woman that I met on Galactica thousands of years ago got to be her mother! But that's the way it is. You raised her; you molded her into who she is. You're in her blood like cheap wine and she loves you so frakking much! She loves you so much, Ellen. You're a part of her and I know that she'd toss me out an airlock if it meant making you happy. She keeps her heart at your frakking feet! She loves you and if I want her in my life that means you're there too so I need us to find a way to stop hating each other!"

Ellen looked at Laura. There was almost a sense of pleading in her voice. She glanced down to her lap and then back at the other woman.

"I don't really care about hating you, Laura and I don't care if you love Katya. I expect you to. I always have. You should love her. I just…don't want her to love you back."

Ellen wasn't even sure if she actually hated Laura Roslin. She wasn't sure that she ever had. She didn't like her. She'd never liked her. She was uptight, snobby and condescending from the moment she'd met her at dinner in Bill's quarters but that never made her hate the woman. She'd actually admired her despite the personal distaste she had for her. Now there was jealousy that was so strong it felt like hate but that envy was about what she was not who she was. It wasn't about her personality. It was about what she'd been able to do. It was the fact that she was linked to Katya in a way that Ellen knew she never could be no matter how much she wanted it. Maybe she didn't hate Laura but she hated that she was Katya's mother. She hated that nothing could change it. Ellen knew that she was her mother too. She had been Katya's mother since she was seven years old and she would continue to be her mother for as long as she would let her. Katya had accepted Ellen as her mother. Laura was the girl's mother no matter what. She always had been and always would be. She just was.

"Ellen? That day you took me to the lab…the day you explained to me how she was conceived and delivered…you showed me Katya as a baby, as a newborn. Didn't you? You projected it. You must have known that I could share it and you let me see her. Why?"

Ellen shook her head but Laura knew it was a lie.

"Don't deny it, Ellen. I know you did it. Katya confirmed it when I realized that I could project. Why did you do it? Why did you show me that?"

"I don't know. I don't remember."

"That's bull, Ellen. You know it. You never saw her that small. You missed that time too just like I did. It must have taken a lot of concentration and will to get that vivid of a projection from just pictures, recordings and imagination but you did it. I can still see it sometimes if I really try. You showed her to me."

"Yes!" Ellen snapped. "I did! I did it because you deserved to see the baby you gave birth to! I did it because you needed to see her! And I don't have anything else to say about it. I did what I did, so either thank me for it or shut the frak up!"

"Thank you."

Laura's offer of thanks was simple and unexpected but Ellen could tell that it was honest. It almost stunned her. She still couldn't stop all of the bitterness inside of herself. She was trying so hard to block out everything that Laura had said to her back at the cabin. Every word of it, every admission of Laura's envy should have made her feel better. Her acknowledgment of how much Katya loved her should have satisfied and placated her but it hadn't and now Ellen knew that nothing ever would.

Laura was watching her with raw gratitude in her eyes. No matter how jealous Laura was she'd acknowledged the thankfulness she felt in spite of it. Ellen knew that she should do the same. She had the very same mix of envy wrapped in undying appreciation. She knew that she should say it back; express the deep reluctant thanks that she had for the other woman. She tried to will herself to do it. She told herself to just say it; to thank Laura just once for giving her the child that she'd always wanted, for giving her little girl the breath of life.

"Laura, I…"

The hatch screeched violently open making them both jump in their skin.

When Bill rushed in Laura shot up and lunged herself into his arms.

"Oh my gods, Bill!"

Ellen let her breath out and covered her eyes with her hands until she heard Blazer's voice.

"Ellen!"

"Blaze! Where…"

"I dunno, Ellen. I'm sorry. I lost them! I'm sorry. I dunno," Blaze frantically rambled. "I'm going back. You stay here, Elle. I'm going back!"

Blaze held his hand up like he was warding her off and he quickly backed his way out of the bunker.

"Blaze wait!" Ellen cried after him but he was already out of the room. The hatch closed and locked behind him. "Damn it!" She shouted as she pounded her fists against the heavy door. She whipped around to face her companions, "What's he talking about, Bill? What the frak happened? What's going on?"

"They were with us, Ellen; Saul and Katya. There was an ambush in one of the corridors. There was an explosion. We got separated. We don't know where they are."

"Oh, dear gods," Laura cringed and clutched to his side.

Ellen could only lean against the frame of the doorway and sink down to the floor. Wherever they were, she knew they were together. She could feel it. She prayed they'd watch out for each other.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR C

YEAR: 2315

As Katya dragged Saul further down the hallway she hacked so hard it hurt. The smoldering from the burning pile was sending the fumes of burnt plastic and piney paint thinner right up their noses and into their eyes causing them to sting and water. Saul was hit when they started to retreat but the explosion that followed had taken out the bot that was responsible. Unfortunately it had also taken out the centurion and the corporal. When Katya looked up from her cover she saw the bodies under the crates that had toppled. She heard Blazer's voice coming from the left hall. It was blocked. She could hear him calling for Bill to follow. She knew they'd taken off. When she got to her feet she found Saul laying a few yards away. She started dragging him back even before she saw that he was shot. They needed to get far enough away in case of another blow. The hall to the left was blocked, the toppled barricade in front of them was still flaming. She had nowhere to go but back. She no longer heard shots coming from behind but she couldn't be sure. It didn't matter. She just had to get them away from the most immediate danger. She only noticed the gun shot once she saw the trail of blood being left as she dragged him. When they were far enough away she collapsed to her knees coughing and gasping for air. The smoke and fumes were minimal at the end of the hall and she was able to catch her breath.

"Uncle Saul," She cried as she crawled to his side.

"It gone?" He mumbled.

"Yeah, but it got you first."

"Yeah," He hissed. "It did."

"It's okay, Uncle Saul. It's okay. It's okay. It'll be fine. It's alright," She rambled, scurrying on her hands and knees to the injured side of his body. "I've got you. They're all gone. Just don't move."

She swiped a call up on her cuff and put an alert out for a med team.

"It's okay, Uncle Saul. They'll see where the alert is coming from. Medics will be here in no time. We just have to keep pressure on it," She told him as she pressed her shaking hands over the spot on his right shoulder that was rapidly spilling more and more blood. She could feel it coming out warm against her palms and then turning cold in the air.

"Bill," Saul said in a low gravelly voice.

"Fuck Bill. You're shot!" She shouted.

"You've got to see where he is."

"Blaze had him. I heard them take off together. He'll get him there just relax."

Saul nodded and Katya saw his blinking starting to slow.

"No, no, no. Don't you dare. You keep that eye opened damn it! You need to stay awake!"

He was bleeding too much. She pressed harder putting all of her weight on his shoulder.

Saul winced and let out an agonizing groan.

"Fuck. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I have to. I'm sorry," She repeated again and again, "I'm so, so sorry, Uncle Saul. I'm so so frakking sorry."

Katya's sorries went on and on until their meaning changed and her tears started to flow. Soon Saul couldn't tell her sorries from her sobs. It was only when he heard her say that she loved him that he was able to close his eye and give in to the exhaustion that was overtaking him.

LOCATION: CYLON BASESTAR; approximately 400 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CENTRAL COMMAND CONTROL CENTER LEVEL 2: HYBRID TANK

YEAR: 2315

"If even one person that I know is killed today D'Anna I swear on my life I'll come after you!"

Margot was screaming at the top of her lungs as Sharon held her back. D'Anna looked at the enraged young woman totally stunned at her reaction. She wondered if she would really come at her if Sharon let her go. It was the second time Margot had such an outburst within the last few hours. All that had stopped her was the signal. They had all felt it at just the same time. D'Anna couldn't be sure but she had a feeling that her daughter would have lunged for her if they all hadn't collapse at each other's feet.

"Margot, Margot stop!" Sharon shouted as she tightened her grip around the girl's arms. "Just calm down! This isn't helping anything."

"Helping anything!? Don't you see what's going on!? Do you see what just happened to my home!? All because she thought she knew more than everyone else!"

"I was only trying to make things better," D'Anna defended in a low voice.

"Is this better!?"

"I never imagined. I only told them what I wished I'd heard when I was in their place."

"We brought you here to help!" Margot cried. "Look what you've done!"

Sharon struggled to keep the girl steady in her arms. Margot wasn't that much taller than she was but she had an impressive gate and Sharon wasn't sure how much longer she could hold on.

"D'Anna, I think it would be best if you maybe waited somewhere else," She firmly suggested over Margot's cries. "The Colonel told me that we need to keep quiet for now." She paused as Margot almost slipped free. Once she got her grip back she held her even tighter as she cried and growled in her arms. "There isn't anything that we can do. The raiders are keeping combat away from the ship for the moment. Let me have a minute alone with her."

D'Anna nodded and then bravely walked closer to where Sharon held a crying Margot in her arms.

"I'm very sorry…Specialist. I never meant to hurt you or your people. It doesn't help things but I am very sorry."

"Get out!"

D'Anna nodded and walked out of the control room.

"What the fuck did I do!?" Margot shouted. "This is all my fault. I should have never convinced Ellen to let me take her here. I should have been watching what she was doing. Do you know how many people are going to die because of me?"

"Margot, no. Don't say that."

"It's the truth."

"It's not your fault!"

Sharon braced herself at Margot's back and tightened her arms around her jerking shoulders. She bent at the knees taking the girl down with her. Sharon figured that Margot would struggle but she went down easily. She sat with the specialist in front of her allowing Margot to rest her back against her chest. To Sharon's surprise she went limp allowing her to support most of her weight as she continued to heave and cry. Sharon held her as tightly as she could and put her lips behind her ear. She spoke softly hoping it would calm her the way she used to when Hera would have a tantrum.

"It's not your fault, Margot," She repeated in a low soothing voice. "All we know is that they responded to D'Anna's message and there happened to be an attack hours later. Nothing has changed. They've been coming after us all along."

"But now they're sure that you're all here. Now they don't just intend to thin our numbers they want to kill us all. They want to kill you!"

Sharon cringed.

"Margot, I know that you don't want to hear this but it is in no way your fault. It isn't. You've done nothing but help your people; cylon and human alike. The raiders, the centurions they were unaffected today because of you. If they were still feeling the results of the signal, if they were stunned and delayed like we were today when the breach occurred then the system wouldn't stand a chance. It's your firewall that allowed them to get out there and fight to protect us to the best of their ability. Do you know how proud Ellen is of you for that? Do you know how thankful we all are? This isn't your fault, Margot."

Margot shook her head and let out a strangled sob.

"I brought D'Anna here. I shouldn't have." Her voice was straining and coming out as nothing but tight squeaks and rasps. "She just seemed so lonely on Delta. I was too...and…I just…I don't know why I even…I should have just left her!"

Sharon's heart wrenched at the girl's pain filled words.

"Margot, sweetie…D'Anna made a mistake."

Margot went rigid in her arms.

"Don't defend her to me! Don't!"

The volume and force of her voice made Sharon jump but then she just held on tighter.

"Okay, okay. Okay, sweetie," She made calming shushing sounds in her ear and attempted to rock her a bit. "It's alright. It's going to be alright.

She wasn't sure that it was.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR C

MED WARD

YEAR: 2315

"Kit…" Saul started, his voice low and groggy.

"Shush, sleep."

Katya hadn't left his side since he'd been hit. She couldn't. She'd kept her hands tightly pressed to his shoulder willing his blood to stop flowing out against her palms. When a med-tranpo team finally made it to them she ran beside his stretcher never letting her hand leave him. She stuck by him all through triage promising that he would be okay, telling him how much she loved him, how sorry she was, telling him that Ellen was coming soon even when she wasn't sure that he could hear her. When she was asked to leave so that they could treat his bullet wound she refused. She screamed at every medic who so much as suggested that she step outside of the curtain. She threatened anyone who came near her. Even Blaze couldn't get her to move once he caught up with them. Xao was nowhere to be found; treating patients in more dire need. If he or Tawny were there Katya may have given in but they weren't so she didn't budge. Eventually the medic team gave up trying. She stood out of the way in the corner watching as Saul's gunshot was debrided, sutured and closed. When they told her that he'd lost more blood than they thought she demanded that they send a marine escort to get Ellen from the bunker. The corridor had yet to be officially cleared and they refused. After a few nasty words Katya called in the order herself.

Combat had come to an end in the system. Both Delta and Alpha had been boarded and were now reporting the situation under control. The system's casualties hadn't been counted yet but everyone knew it would just be a number. Whatever it was, it was too high.

When Ellen arrived Katya could hardly look her in the eyes. The last time they'd seen each other she was being torn from her violent assault on the man lying in the bed beside her. Now he was shot and his blood covered her body. Katya bowed her head down and quietly cried, still unable to let go of Saul's hand. Ellen had walked over with tears of relief in her eyes and kissed her husband on the head. He woke with a drowsy smile and told her that their kitten had saved him. She'd laughed softly, kissed him again and then leaned up to face Katya whose eyes were still in her lap. With a finger to the girl's chin Ellen tilted her head upward so that she had no choice but to look at her. Katya couldn't speak. Her cheeks were burning with shame but Ellen just looked at her like she always did; like she loved her. Katya cringed when she saw the bruise on Ellen's chin and the cut on her lip. She reached up to brush her fingers over the angry mark. With a gentle hand Ellen stopped her. She leaned down and kissed Katya on the forehead before turning and leaving to get her blood drawn.

Katya had been sitting in silence by Saul's side ever since. Her cuff only sounded once when Blaze let her know that he'd gotten to the civilian lab. With Alexi's platoon still held up on C deck and Saul's condition still tentative Blazer had gone over to the lab on their behalf. All reports stated that the civilian side was clear. One of the landing decks had been infiltrated but the bots hadn't gotten very far. Katya and Alexi had both already received word from the lab that everything was fine but when Blaze met her in the ward he insisted on going over in their place for peace of mind. He told Katya not to worry and that he was excited to go for his first visit. He wouldn't even sit and rest after what he'd just been through. Katya was grateful but she couldn't help shaking her head when he left the infirmary running. He was wrong to love her. He was too good for her.

"Kit, I need to explain to you…I need to explain what happened."

Saul's eye was closed but Katya could see it moving frantically under his lid.

"Don't talk," She told him sternly. "You need to rest."

He squinted, adjusting to the light in the room.

"No. I need to tell you. I have to," He insisted, scanning his surroundings, "Where's Ellen?"

"They're drawing her blood because yours is all over me. You lost a little too much. Keep quiet. It will replenish itself faster if you rest."

"She's giving me her blood," He mumbled.

"Yeah, of course she is."

"I don't deserve her," He smirked. "I never have."

Katya nodded.

"That makes two of us."

"Kit, I need to tell you what happened on New Caprica," He said with a grunt. "I know you don't want to hear it. I know how you feel. What you did before; I don't blame you for that. That's…that's what I wanted to do to myself for so long."

"How long?" She snapped, her anger poking through her worry. "Until you started banging the Six?"

Saul cringed.

"Don't Katya, just listen to me first. Please? Before I tell you why, I just want you to know that…I know that it doesn't make it better. I know that it doesn't fix it or erase it. It isn't an excuse. I'm just…I'm just telling you what happened. Okay?"

Katya shut her eyes tight and bit her lip. She didn't want to hear it. She didn't want to know. The thought disgusted her, made her blood boil but she knew Saul wouldn't rest until he spoke.

"Just say it if you're going to say it and then go to sleep."

Saul let out a low groan before he started.

"When we were on that godsforsaken mud ball of a planet you know I was taken into containment. You know that's where they took my eye."

Katya cringed as she remembered what she'd done to his patch on the kitchen floor. Her stomach rolled.

"They tortured me for information. They kept me in there for weeks on end. Not just me. They took Laura too. They took lots of us. I've told you all that," He paused and sighed. "What you don't know is that I wouldn't have gotten out if it wasn't for Ellen." Saul felt his stomach turn in response to the loads of painkillers he was on and the memory of what his wife had once done for him. "She did what she thought she had to do and she made a deal with a One, a Cavil. She did what she had to do," He repeated and Katya flinched realizing what it was that he meant. "She got him to let me out eventually because well, she's good at what she does," He mused with some dark humor. "And then I was able to go back to helping the resistance."

Saul stopped to clear his throat and then winced in pain. Katya could tell that the local anesthetic was wearing off. She opened her mouth to tell him to just relax and save the explanation for another time but he cut her off before she could make a sound.

"I've told you the story, kit. You know that one day a raptor from Galactica finally made contact. They planned to send Athena down first to infiltrate. We were in my tent one night having a meeting and Sam, he made a map of where his team was supposed to meet her. It indicated a rendezvous point at a spot we called Breeders Canyon. They memorized it and intended to burn it. Ellen was home. We had a fire burning in the next tent. We used it to cook, heat the area and burn refuse. She offered to get rid of it and Sam gave it over to her. What I didn't know at the time was that the One, Cavil, had threatened her. He told her that if she didn't get some information from us soon that I was going to be taken back into custody and tortured again until I gave up the information myself...or died."

Katya felt a chill run down her spine.

"Ellen gave him the map," She whispered.

Saul didn't answer. He didn't even nod. He didn't have to. He just continued.

"When Anders and his team got to Breeders Canyon there was an ambush waiting for them. They were able to kill off the cylons but then…they found Sam's map on a dead Two. Sam brought it to me. He told me what Ellen had done. They had her contained and the resistance was going to charge her with treason and execute her." Saul paused and closed his eye tight. "I couldn't let that happen, kit. I couldn't let someone kill her."

When the sound of his heart monitor started to speed up Katya stood from her chair and squeezed tightly on to his hand.

"Uncle Saul, just stop. Stop it. You don't have to do this. You need to relax. They won't be able to give you the transfusion if your blood pressure is so high. Just stop."

Saul shook his head. He cringed through the pain in his arm and went on.

"I confronted her by myself. I asked her about what she'd done and she admitted it right away. She told me everything about Cavil; what she'd done to get me out of confinement and why she'd taken the map. She said that she did it all for me, to save me and I believed her. She said she would do it all again if it meant saving me. I knew that if I let her out of my sight that she'd be killed by the angry hands of bitter and frustrated resistance members. I knew it. I was gunna lose her." Saul's voice cracked and as his eye watered Katya wept with him. "I'd brought a cup down with me…She asked for a drink and…"

"And I took it and I drank it knowing exactly what it was." *

"Ellen," Saul said as he looked over at the break in the curtain.

Ellen walked slowly toward the bed.

"He held me close and he made me feel safe," She went on. She sat on the side of his bed and put her hand over his chest. "I knew what was happening. I knew it and he let me die the only way he knew I'd ever want to; in his arms."

Katya watched them both in near disbelief, face wet and jaw slack, hardly able to take a breath.

"I know it doesn't make it better, kit," Saul rasped. "I know it…but I had to tell you. I'm so sorry that you had to find out. We tried so hard to make sure that you never had to know it. You can hate me for it. I won't blame you. Sometimes I still hate myself. As strange as it sounds I did it out of love."

"Me too," Ellen followed. "I can't explain it to you, kitten. I'm sorry I can't. All I can tell you is how much I love Saul. All I can tell you is that I forgave him the moment he handed me that cup and he forgave me too. I love him so much and he loves me," She said as she put her hand over Katya's, sandwiching it between Saul's and her own."And we love you."

Katya's lip trembled uncontrollably as she tried to speak. She could hardly make her mouth form a single word.

"I'm so…sorry that happened to you," She managed to get out. "I love you both…so much. I just…I hate it," She cried."I hate it."

Ellen squeezed her hand over where it rested atop Katya's and Saul's.

"It's okay kitten, we all do. Well all hate it but it's okay now."

Katya laid her head by their three stacked hands and quietly let out the rest of her tears. Ellen rubbed her back with her free hand and Saul was finally able to close his eye again with his family by his side.

"Saul," Ellen said just above a whisper, testing to see if he was awake.

He was groggy, in pain, and tired but he fought his fatigue,, wanting to take in the moment with his girls.

"Hm?"

"Do you remember when we were still trying to have a baby?" She said softly. "You would always talk about a little boy. Even then you had your heart set on the name Liam but I always wanted Daniel. We used to bicker over the name for hours," She mused. He looked up at her offering a sad smile. "Who would have thought that we'd end up with a little girl after all that?"

"Not me," Saul chuckled quietly as he closed his eye again. "She's been our greatest surprise, our greatest gift. Born inside of our hearts and come to make our lives what we always wanted them to be."

They felt Katya sobbing even harder into the bed and Ellen rubbed her back vigorously trying to stop her trembling. When her body seemed to relax Ellen leaned up to give Saul a kiss. He felt her hovering over him and opened his heavy lid to greet her.

"Ellen. there's something you need to know about D'Anna…"

"Shhh, not now. Just rest now," She told him as she kissed his forehead and then his lips.

"Ellen," He grimaced when she leaned back. "What happened to your face? Your lip?"

She smirked and shook her head.

"Don't ask," She told him before giving him a warm quick peck.

Ellen bent to kiss Katya on the back of the head before easing herself back onto the side of the bed.

"Uncle Saul, Aunt Ellen?" Katya said, finally lifting her head from the ward mattress.

"What is it, princess?" Saul answered.

"There's something I have to tell you both." They deserved it. If they had the strength to share what they just had with her then she could muster a fraction of their courage and do the same. "It's important."

Ellen nodded.

"Go ahead, baby."

"Lex and I didn't want to tell you just yet. We wanted…"

When the curtain slung open their attentions were drawn to the man who'd entered. Katya's heart sunk but suddenly she could breathe again. They watched as Xao let a medic in behind him who held an IV bag full of Ellen's blood.

"Colonel," Xao greeted. "You're doing fine. This will just make things go a bit faster, thanks to your wife."

Saul smiled.

"She's saved my hide more times than I can count. I didn't expect any less."

Xao took his tablet out of his pocket and punched in a few notes as he spoke.

"Well thanks to Yekaterina you didn't lose more blood. She kept the pressure on until you got here. It could have been worse."

"She learned from her mother's example," Saul said proudly. "I have some good girls on my side."

Xao nodded and put his tablet back in his lab coat.

"My medic is going to hang the unit now. I expect you to sleep and let your body do the rest of the work."

"Yes, Major," Saul weakly saluted with his good arm.

He was drifting off from a combination of the blood loss and painkillers.

"Ellen, I need to speak with you," Xao stated.

Ellen shook her head.

"I don't want to leave him now."

"He's quite stable, Ellen," The doctor argued. "Yekaterina is with him."

"I want to stay with my family. Just tell me what the problem is, Xao."

Xao took a breath in and held it. He looked over Ellen's shoulder at Katya and then back to Saul. The Colonel seemed to be sleeping but he wasn't exactly the one who the doctor was worried about. Katya already seemed distraught and he knew that what he had to say would agitate her even further.. Dr. Xao looked over at the medic who had just finished stringing the unit of blood. He gestured for him to leave and waited until he disappeared through the partition.

"What?" Ellen prompted, "Spit it out, Xao."

"Tawny is still on Delta. She was unable to get back before the attack. She has Samuel Anders in their infirmary and she's demanding to be given clearance to take him here to Alpha as soon as Orbit conditions allow."

"Demanding?" Katya echoed.

"The infirmary?" Saul grumbled, opening his eye. "What did that idiot do now?"

"This is why I didn't want to tell you in here," Xao complained. "Rest, Colonel."

"Wait a second," Ellen scowled, "What's wrong with Anders?"

"Please just step out with me, Ellen," Xao said gesturing for her to follow.

She nodded and stood from the bed.

"Wait," Katya called after her. "I want to know what's going on."

"Kit, just stay with Uncle Saul."

"But…"

"Stay here. Don't leave him," Ellen repeated firmly as she followed Xao.

Once outside the curtain they moved to stand by the center counter.

"What's going on, Xao?"

"You sent Tawny to evaluate Mr. Anders' condition. She says his injuries require her further attention. She wants to bring him back here to monitor."

"What? Why can't she treat him there? What's wrong? I was told he had lousy cut and a bruise."

"Tawny wasn't specific. He needs a laser treatment for a rib fracture but that's nothing that can't be done on Delta. She says there are other things that require her to bring him here."

"We're still on high alert."

"She's willing to wait until system security allows for safe transfer but I need her back here. I'm on my own and every bed is full. I have stretchers in the halls. I've already had to put in a request for assistance from civilian physicians."

"So tell her to get home as soon as she can. I'll deal with Anders when I get back there."

"She's refusing to leave without him."

"What?" Katya snapped as she came through the curtain.

"Katya, get back in there," Ellen scolded.

"He's sleeping," She countered, "Why would Tawny do that?"

"This isn't like her," Xao answered. "If she wants to bring him here then I believe she has a reason."

Katya rubbed at her eyes and shook her head.

"No. Xao, you're her superior officer. Order her back home."

"I have, Captain."

Katya's brows came together. She'd never seen Tawny even flinch at an order before, let alone refuse one.

"What? Then she's AWOL."

Ellen put a hand on her daughter's shoulder.

"Just calm down, Kat," She warned. "We'll get Kaplan to call her home."

Xao shook his head.

"I know my daughter. If she's insisting, if she's willing to disobey orders then she must feel that it is imperative. I'm trusting her judgment. She's never given either of you a reason not to trust her. Has she?" He posed, "Yekaterina?"

Katya didn't know what to say. He was right. He was totally right but she couldn't believe what was happening. Tawny knew how she felt. She knew better than anyone what she and Alexi were going through. How could she even consider bringing Sam to Alpha?

"I'm going to call her myself," She decided.

"No, Katya don't," Ellen covered Katya's cuffed wrist with her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Let me. I'll take care of this. Please just go back to Uncle Saul."

"Call her if you want, Ellen," Xao shrugged. "I'm sending in my transfer request to the EOC and Commanders Kaplan and Thibodaux right away," He announced before curtly nodding his head and leaving to attend to his many other patients.

Katya looked to Ellen with panic in her eyes.

"What the hell is Tawny trying to pull?"

Ellen glanced down at the floor trying to collect her thoughts.

"I don't know. I don't know, Kat," She sighed. "Sweetie…maybe it's for the best…"

"What?" Katya spat. "How?"

"Just…let me call her," Ellen squeezed her wrist again before she let go. "I'll be right back just please don't leave Saul. I'll be right in."

Ellen rushed behind the center ward counter to search for an ear piece. She didn't need anyone else hearing her conversation with the young doctor, whatever way it turned out. She snatched one from a medic who was sitting behind an image screen, ignoring their disgruntled protests. Before Katya could say anything else Ellen slipped into a supply room and shut the door behind her.

Katya looked down at her cuff, tempted to call her friend before Ellen could get through to her. She went to swipe for Tawny's name when she heard her own called from across the clinic.

"Katya."

She heard Laura's frantic voice behind her. She turned to see both Bill and Laura being escorted into the ward by Vladi and a two marines.

Once they had finally been released from the bunker Bill demanded to be brought to Saul right away. No one could tell them anything about his condition and no one knew anything about Katya or Blaze. All they knew was that Saul had been shot. When the marine escorts came to get Ellen it was the only information they were given. Bill and Laura spent the rest of their time down there demanding answers and getting none. They'd held their breath all the way to the ward terrified of what they might find.

Laura was so relieved when she saw Katya standing in the ward. Whatever else had gone on at least, she was up and walking. Even from the hatch Laura could see that the girl's arms were splattered with blood and that her shoulders were purple and bruising. The civilian clothes that she'd been so happy to see her in earlier were now covered in dark angry stains. The addition of the guns strapped to her hips and thigh erased any innocence she'd seen in her daughter that morning. The weapons on her thin frame looked like poison fruit hanging off of a sullen tree. Despite her relief Laura's heart wrenched in her chest at the sight of her. She sped toward Katya with Bill at her tail and then stopped just inches from her. Laura wanted so badly to reach out and take hold of her daughter. When her eyes watered she covered her mouth and nose with her hands and shook her head.

"I'm sorry," She cried into her cupped palms. "I'm sorry. I'm just so relieved. We didn't know…" She trailed off unable to continue.

She'd gone over every horrific possibility on the way there. Though she wished that she could let every awful image flood away with her tears she hesitated to get so overwhelmed in front of Katya. Somehow showing the extent of her fear and relief felt too presumptuous. She was afraid of her reaction.

Katya looked at Laura and bit her lip. The poor woman was trying so hard to hold back her tears. When Bill came up behind his wife and put his arm around her shoulders it only made her cry harder. Katya felt her jaw go slack at the honest yet hesitant expression of relief.

"We're so glad to see that you're alright, Captain," The Admiral told her.

"I'm fine," She said softly still watching Laura's weeping eyes. She was totally overcome with emotion and Katya hated that all she could do was stare at her. It was wrong. She knew it. She couldn't just let her stand there and cry. She couldn't be so cold. Katya looked back over her shoulder. The supply room door was still shut with Ellen inside. "I'm fine," She repeated as she turned back to Laura. "It's okay."

Laura was nodding but Katya knew that her words were doing nothing to sooth her. She reached her hand out asking for Laura's in return for the second time that day.

When Laura dropped her hands from her face Katya took hold of both, bracing them between her own palms. They were wet with her tears and trembling uncontrollably.

"I'm okay. I am, Laura. Don't cry. I'm fine. Saul too. Blaze and Alexi…everyone is going to be fine. Okay?"

Laura nodded again but when Katya squeezed her hands she let out a sob that she just couldn't manage to hold back any longer.

Katya gave another glance over her shoulder at the supply room door and then looked back at her birthmother.

"Laura…c'mon, it's okay."

She repeated it as a whisper and this time she hadn't said it in order to assure Laura that she was unharmed. She was telling her that she didn't have to stand there keeping careful space between them anymore. Katya gently took hold of one of Laura's wrists and pulled her close against her chest. She wrapped her other arm around her shaking back and hugged her tight. When Laura brought her own quaking arm up to return the embrace she lost control and started bawling into Katya's shoulder.

"It's okay," Katya whispered again.

It was all she could say.

Laura felt Bill's supportive hand at her back. She couldn't think straight. At first she was overcome with relief and thoughts of all the awful things that could have happened but now she was holding her daughter. Bill was there with them. Their child was in her arms for the very first time and she'd never felt anything like it. She never wanted to move. She could hold her forever if she'd let her.

"We're very glad that you're okay, Katya," Bill said in a low voice.

Laura let out a small whimper when Katya eased herself back to give Bill a nod in return.

Katya looked back to Laura and scanned her face; her wet green eyes and the tears rolling down her cheeks to her jaw, purple and bruised. Katya cringed. Her stomach turned; Ellen's lip, her chin. She knew now where it had come from. What had they done to each other? Katya's anger surged. She could give them both matching black eyes for ever laying a hand on one another but most her anger was toward herself. She hated that she'd caused either of them any pain. What did the two of them want with her when she caused so much hurt? Katya brought her finger up and ran it delicately over Laura's cheek bone and down her swollen jaw line. She shook her head.

"I'm so sorry," She whispered before pulling her back in for another embrace.

Laura shook her head against Katya's neck but she couldn't speak. She couldn't tell her that it wasn't her fault, that she and Ellen had no one to blame but themselves and their own ancient insecurities. She just held on tight savoring the feel of her daughter's arms.

Katya couldn't stop herself once she felt the soft russet locks of Laura's hair brush up against her nose. She nuzzled in and took as deep of a breath as she could, fighting against the tightness forming in her throat. It was the shampoo she'd stocked in their cabin before the resurrection; Beta spearmint tea and eucalypts. It was supposed to have calming effects and she'd thought that it might come in handy after the stress of their download. Laura was still using it. Katya no longer had to imagine what it would be like to hug her mother; what she would smell like, how her arms would feel. Now she knew. Now they both knew. She wanted to let herself dissolve into a puddle. She wanted to break down and wail into her mother's arms the way she'd never been able to. She couldn't. Not there. Not now.

"Captain," Bill started. "The Colonel?"

"It's alright, Laura," She said once more before breaking their close contact. Finally with a parting squeeze to Laura's hand she let her go and took a step back. Katya cleared her throat before she spoke."Bullet to the right shoulder. It didn't hit anything major but he lost a lot of blood as you can see," She said putting her arms out in display. Though a medic had given her a towel to wipe down with it hadn't done much good other than drying her hands. She cringed in apology knowing she'd just hugged on to Laura covered in blood and sweat. "He's getting a unit of Ellen's blood now. He's supposed to be resting but I think it would be okay if you go stick your head in there."

Katya heard the sound of a door opening behind her. She turned to see Ellen exiting the supply room.

"Just as long as it's alright with Aunt Ellen," She added not knowing what kind of mood the woman had emerged in.

Katya couldn't read Ellen's face until she looked up toward the three of them. Then she saw it; the split second of unmistakable pain in her eyes as she watched her daughter standing with both of her birth parents. It was only a moment, only a flash but Katya noticed before she could hide it. Ellen walked forward tossing her borrowed earpiece to the counter on her way.

"Ellen," Bill greeted.

Ellen instantly wondered if Laura had admitted to him what had gone on between them. When he first asked about their matching bruises in the bunker they both refused to answer. Bill was suspicious and angry nonetheless. He wasn't stupid. He'd made his own assumptions. He eventually let it go without asking for any details. They had enough to worry about at the moment. When Ellen left for the infirmary she figured that Laura would tell him the truth while she was gone but now she wasn't sure. He was looking at her with sympathy in his eyes. She didn't know if it was all because of Saul's condition or because he understood what they'd been through and why she'd reacted in such a way. Maybe he wasn't as angry at her for going after Laura as she thought he would be. Maybe he understood why. Then again maybe Laura had lied for her.

When Bill reached out to hug her she let him. She couldn't help letting out a few whimpers against his shoulder. She'd been held in Bill Adama's comforting arms many times before. Sometimes he would carry her home drunk from the bars when Saul was too bombed to do it himself. Sometimes she'd come on to him during times when she was mad at Saul or too wasted to control herself. She'd lean up against his chest and he'd hold her and her remind her of what she was doing, stopping her from making an awful mistake. Other times she would see them both off at the Caprica City Transfer Station before they returned to active duty. Bill would hug her goodbye, warn her to behave herself and then whisper that he'd keep Saul out of trouble. His arms felt calming and familiar.

"He's going to be fine, Ellen," He assured with a gentle pat to her back. "It's all going to be fine."

"I know ," She sniffed and backed up."I know."

"Well?" Katya asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

Ellen looked at Laura and Bill then back to her daughter. She took a deep breath and straightened her posture.

"I've put in a call to the EOC and I've arranged for a heavy raider to escort Tawny and Sam back here as soon as conditions allow. Sam Anders should be aboard Alpha Station by morning."


Thanks for reading. I would love to know what you thought.

-LLA


Translations:

E-Rep

Nǐ wèn kǔ chī - You asked for bitters to eat.

E-Fed

Všivy vybljadok, protivnyy, izhets! - lousy bastard, despicable/nasty, liar

 

Chapter 29: Chapter 29

Notes:

I might suggest reading the last section of the previous chapter before starting this one.

This fic is still rated M for language, mature themes and sexual situations.

Feedback, or short notes are much appreciated!

NOTE: Some lines in this chapter are taken directly from the BSG 2003 series. There are only meant to be reused as creative plot devices.

GOOD HUNTING

Chapter Text

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 119B: ASSIGNMENT; TIGH

YEAR: 2315

Days had passed since the attack on the Earth Orbit System. No further acts of aggression came from the surface but the stations and their surrounding pods remained on high alert. The New Year was quickly approaching but there was a shared hesitance over celebrating its arrival. The people feared that they wouldn't live to see it and even if they did, they knew it was unlikely to bring peace.

The system ambush prompted many changes. While the inability to cross the protected barrier of Earth's atmosphere remained a military secret, rumors started to spread through the civilian population. There was heightened security, revised protocol, a heavy nervous air and most notably a drop in moral. For Katya the biggest change since the ambush had been the arrival of Sam Anders on Alpha Station.

When Ellen came up to Katya in the ward and announced that Tawny would be bringing him to Alpha Katya couldn't speak. She looked back at her aunt intending to unleash a myriad of angry protest and yet nothing came. She'd simply turned away, walking past Bill and Laura and disappearing through the curtain into Saul's ward room. She'd checked his vitals for her own reassurance and then given the sleeping man a quick kiss to the cheek before darting out again. If Ellen, Laura or the Admiral had tried to stop her she couldn't recall. She ran out of the ward and didn't stop until she'd arrived at the civilian medical center and made it to the lab.

When she entered Blaze was still there. He sat with her as they waited for Alexi to be debriefed and relieved of duty. The bloodshed on C deck had been greater than they initially thought. When the sergeant finally arrived Blaze didn't stay much longer. The couple thanked him for being there when they couldn't and after a few hugs he excused himself. When he was gone Alexi moved his chair beside Katya's and she finally broke down. It wasn't just over Sam's coming arrival, Saul's gunshot or even knowing that her husband had been involved in a near massacre. It was over all of that and so much more.

"I tried to tell them, Lex," She'd cried into her husband's shoulder as he leaned in to stroke her hair. "I tried and everything just got in the way."
She had been so ready to admit everything to Saul and Ellen in ward. Then Xao showed up and the moment was gone.
"Relax, Katya. You've all been through too much today. It wasn't the right time."
She cried harder because she felt it really had been the right time. Her loving parents had just confessed their deepest secret to her. She was ready to do the same; to share her own pain and her own hope. Then the tumultuous circumstance that their lives were in reared its head and got in the way just as it had been doing all along.
"I feel like a missed my chance. If I told them today they would have forgiven me for keeping it from them."
Katya tried to keep her voice low but it wasn't uncommon to hear muffled cries or worried voices thought the facility. For the most part the staff allowed everyone their privacy.
"We have time, Yekaterina, "Alexi had told her as she leaned over the arms of their chairs to rest her head against him. "Soon. Just not tonight. Tonight let's just take a breath. Soon we'll tell them together."
The chairs in the lab were large; made for long or overnight stays. They were comfortable and plush but not quite suited for two, though a few times Katya considered crawling onto Alexi's lap. She settled for holding his hand. Unlike most laboratories this one was kept relatively warm and dim instead of frigid and bright. The surrounding machines constantly hummed around them giving off their own heat. The unique conditions of the facility made it easy for Katya and Alexi to nod off during visits, especially when they were so exhausted but they always fought against it. They tried so hard to make the time to spend there and though it gave them some measure of comfort to just simply be there, they felt like sleeping through it was somewhat of a waste.
That night Alexi had come into the lab still in full combat fatigues. Katya had come covered in dried blood and still packing heat. Though no one had denied them access she knew what a sight they were as they sat there.
"Look at us," She'd huffed at one point. Her eyes filled with more tears and she shook her head as she looked down at the dark rust-brown stains on her shirt. "We shouldn't be here like this."
"We aren't the only military couple who comes here, Katya," Alexi sighed in a week attempt.
"No. We're just the only ones who don't have the good sense to change first," She countered in a sharp whisper. "We shouldn't have to come here with guns hanging off of us. We shouldn't be showing up with our family's blood on our hands. What the hell are we doing, Alexi? This is just another sign of how wrong this all is. We were being selfish, malysh. We made a selfish choice."

Though Alexi was often irritated by her claim that their decision was a mistake he chose not to challenge her that night. They were too tired and too worn.
"Katya sooner or later you're going to have to stop burdening yourself with all of the reasons that this shouldn't be. It already is."
She'd heard the hurt in his voice to spite how much he tried to temper his words but she didn't have the strength left to apologize.

It took Katya a while to calm down but eventually Alexi was able to sooth her and she relaxed into her seat. They were there in the lab together for the first time in days. It was a rare occurrence. Over the past few weeks they had found it difficult to achieve. Their schedules just didn't allow for it in most cases. They usually had to split up their time and go separately. When one went they would speak to Dr. Diaz or her staff on their own and have to relay updates, information and details to the other. They were lucky to have Tawny. She kept in steady contact with Diaz and scheduled her own visits to the lab every week. At least back home they could find the time to talk to her as a couple and ask her the questions they needed side by side. When they did managed to go together they would find themselves sacrificing sleep; heading there late in the night or early in the mornings. Katya was glad to finally be there with Alexi especially after all they had endured that day. They'd made it through alive. They all had.

Once Katya was able to relax they caught up. They filled each other in on their accounts of the ambush in soft murmuring voices, careful not to scare the civilian staff any further. When others got too close they read each other's thoughts and emotions, a rare occurrence for the couple to spite their shared cylon ability. Alexi tried to downplay what he'd witnessed on C deck. He couldn't tell her all that he'd seen, how many chromed monsters he'd evaded as they rained pellets of condensed fire and bullets upon his platoon.

Katya told Alexi about Saul's confession of Ellen's murder on New Caprica. She watched him go white as a ghost at the shocking revelation. He let her cry into his lap as she told him of the Tigh's story. Alexi was glad of his surroundings. He wasn't sure that he would have been able to keep composed had they been elsewhere. When the initial shock had worn off and Katya's sobs had subsided she filled him in on the details of Saul's injury and prognosis. She had felt so guilty to leave her uncle in the ward but after Ellen's announcement of Sam's arrival she needed to get away and there was only one place that she wanted to be. Katya chose not to share the news of Sam's transfer with Alexi while they were in the lab. She didn't want to bring it there. It wasn't the place for it. She promised herself that she would tell him once they left or maybe in the morning after a night's rest. For one more night she was able to pretend that it wasn't really happening. For a while more they spoke in hushed tones; their words peppered with yawns, stretches and tears as they recounted the day.
"Are you really sure they hit each other, Kat?"
Alexi had been almost amused by his wife's account of Laura and Ellen's apparent fight but he hid it. He knew Katya found no humor in the event. He thought he saw her turn green as she told him about the bruises on each woman's face.
"I'm sure," She'd insisted.
"Well who do you think swung first?"
"There isn't a doubt in my mind that it was Ellen," Katya told him as she shook her head. She knew that it was her fault that it happened and she knew why. Whatever went on between the two women it was her anger that had incited it all."The saddest part of it is…that I can never be what either one of them wants me to be."
"What do you think they want you to be, Kat?"
Katya looked forward and shook her head. She reached out and drummed her fingers on the hard smooth surface in front of them. It was warm and a steady beat drummed under her touch. Her eyes watered and her heart clenched as it so often did while she sat there. She couldn't answer his question. Her throat closed and her tears ran hot.
"Alexi, I hate leaving," She'd rasped. After all of the day's crying, screaming and inhaling smoke her voice was hardly there anymore. "Every time I come here it's harder to go."

Alexi grasped her hand between his palms and kissed it, dried blood and all.
"Shh, Katyy," He whispered over her knuckles. "We don't have to go right now. We'll stay. We can stay all night if you want."

He knew that even if they somehow both drifted off to sleep their cuffs would sound for reveille at 0500. They could make it to their jurisdictions on time once they woke and even if they didn't, he hardly cared. He wouldn't make her leave this time. He wanted to stay too. It was worth the possible reprimand. Katya nodded at his assurance and curled up in the chair.

"Are you going to read, myshka?" Alexi asked as he tried to get comfortable in his own seat.

Though she never did it while they were there together Alexi knew that it had become her ritual whenever she was there on her own. Sometimes she read aloud her favorite stories or poems but mostly she read from the journal she'd recently started keeping.
"I want to. I'm just too tired."

Alexi smiled as his wife yawned. When she was sleepy; her eyes heavy and lips pouted, he thought she looked about fifteen years old. It always reminded him of their youthful romance.
"That's okay, Katyy. This time I'll do it, dah?"

She had looked skeptical.
"Mm…what would you read?"
Alexi looked at his cuff and opened a few files before projecting one.
"How about the manual to my rifle?" He'd suggested.
"Nyet," She grimaced, "Too violent."
He nodded and scrolled through a few more of his recently opened documents.
"I have a mathematics article from Gamma Station on inter-universal geometers," He shrugged, "It's something."
Katya stopped herself from rolling her eyes. She knew that the topic might very well put her to sleep but it was the sound of his voice that mattered after all. She nodded, happy that he was even volunteering. She wasn't sure how Alexi spent his time in the lab when she wasn't there with him but she was sure this wasn't part of his routine. If he was going to do it then he might as well read something he enjoyed.
"Dah, malysh. GaDsi'tsah."
"Okei. Poost buDzet poTvohyemuh, myshka."

They both woke hours later to the sound of their cuffs sounding reveille. They hated to leave but the reassuring smile of a nearby lab attendant gave them the push they needed. They had enough time to hurriedly shower, change and peek in on Saul in Med Ward for a mere moment before reporting for their respective morning briefings.
Since that night they hardly had a chance to go back at all let alone together. They were far too busy.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 119B: ASSIGNMENT; TIGH

YEAR: 2315

In the days following the ambush not only did Tawny bring Anders aboard Alpha but the station had several other new residents. While recovering Saul filled Ellen in on what Athena had told him during the attack. The two kept the news of D'Anna's possible connection to the event a secret. They knew it would do the system little good to have that knowledge. Ellen made the decision to remove D'Anna from the basestar herself. She decided once and for all that she wanted everyone with her on Alpha. As long as Sam was aboard now she figured it wouldn't make much of a difference. The two per ship precaution was already being ignored for him. She was done station hopping and being away from her family for days on end. Her husband had a hole in his arm. Her daughter was an emotional wreck. She needed to be able to have a handle on her own family again while still doing her job. Without asking permission from the EOC or the security administration Ellen brought both Sharon and D'Anna off of the basestar and back to Alpha station. She thought it better to ask for forgiveness than approval, though she hardly cared about the forgiveness part anymore. Although Sharon was wary of going against military orders Ellen assured her that it would be fine. She told her that in a few days she would have everything settled. She promised that soon she would send for Karl and have their things moved and their duties transferred. Sharon was so happy at the prospect of living closer to Blaze that she went along with Ellen's idea without much protest.

Only Margot refused to leave the basestar. She'd taken full responsibility for the system-wide ambush. She blamed herself for ever bring her birth mother aboard the cylon ship. No amount of consoling from Ellen or Athena was helping. She was in an awful place. She wanted nothing but to stay on the basestar and work day and night to solve the atmosphere problem. She was on a mission of personal redemption and she couldn't be talked out of it. Ellen promised her over and over that D'Anna's message to the bots was going to be a secret kept only between cylon but it didn't matter to the young woman. As Ellen became more frustrated she tried to bribe Margot by promising she no longer had to wait for a station transfer. She encouraged her to ignore her orders and return with them to Alpha. She promised that she would take the brunt of the blame and that Margot would see no adverse ramifications. She swore to make sure that the Specialist's record would stand unblemished. Ellen just didn't care anymore. She'd spent too long trying to help these people within the boundaries of their laws. Now she would do what she needed. She was breaking rules left and right anyway. Doing it for Margot was a no brainer but the girl refused to leave the cylon ship no matter how much she tried to convince her.

D'Anna was quiet and compliant as she left the ship. She knew what she'd probably done. One some level she felt guilt but most of that guilt was in the pain she caused her daughter. She left with Sharon and Ellen willingly, not wanting to cause any more harm.

Ellen was angry at D'Anna but she couldn't fault her too harshly for what she'd done. They had brought the Three back to help and in her own way she had tried more than any of her counterparts. When Ellen looked at D'Anna she saw all of the mistakes she'd made with the model's line and in turn she too blamed herself. On the shuttle ride to Alpha Ellen could feel D'Anna's disappointment over how things had ended with Margot. She couldn't help but pity her. She promised the other cylon woman that she would get Margot to come aboard Alpha before the New Year came. D'Anna had just nodded solemnly. The look of terror and hurt in her child's eyes had bruised her faith for the first time in centuries.

Ellen managed to keep the EOC from doing much to stop her new plans. Just days after their arrival she was able to arrange new quarters for all of them on Alpha. Sam and D'Anna each had their own cabin and Sharon was settling into hers, anxiously awaiting Helo's arrival. Saul was released from the ward and Ellen was finally able to give him the attention he deserved. She was still being pulled in so many directions but she was close by instead of a quadrant away. It made it all so much easier. With the holiday coming she was so thankful to have her family together again and now they'd enjoyed their first family meal since before the attack.
Ellen invited Blaze. She had hoped an extended invitation to Margot would get her off of the basestar but it didn't work. Ellen was disappointed not to have all four children with her but though they missed Margot the evening had been pleasant. Conversation was kept light. They took care to avoid speaking about their current reality. They mostly shared funny stories, recounted old memories and told jokes. It was good to laugh together to spite the obvious employment of denial.

Ellen didn't mention Sam all night. Since hearing Tawny's explanation of why she'd brought him aboard Ellen was totally confused. Sam was less than forthcoming with her. He still only wanted a visit with Katya. Tawny seemed to agree that it was the right thing to do. Ellen knew in some way that she needed to make it happen. She had started hounding Katya to agree to see him soon after he arrived. It was causing friction between them as the young woman refused and again and again. At dinner Ellen chose not to bring it up. They needed a night to themselves without constant worry and endless contemplation.

Katya and Alexi still hadn't shared their secret with the Tighs. The right time eluded them. They were all so busy. So much was happening. The couple contemplated doing it at dinner but uncertain reactions lead them to forgo it. They wanted Saul and Ellen to have a relaxing night in. They promised each other that they would tell them before the New Year. It was only days away.

With dinner finished Blaze and Alexi sat on one side of the L shaped sofa playing a game on the image screen. Katya sat quietly by Saul on the other. Since he'd been shot she had become almost overly attentive. She went to visit him in the ward as often as her duty would allow. Once he came home she helped Ellen care for him to spite his grouching protests. She poured him water, got him snacks and fixed his pillows but to spite her diligent care Katya hardly spoke to her uncle. She wasn't ready yet. She was still so angry at him. Though she'd taken his explanation and felt for his suffering the facts were still raw and hard for her to digest. Her helpful actions were the only way she could prove to Saul and to herself that she still loved him to spite her anger. Ellen knew it was part of the way Saul and Katya were healing. She wouldn't push them to talk in any depth until they were ready.

The day Katya found out about New Caprica Ellen felt like her family was falling apart. Though she hated that Saul had been hurt she knew in her heart that his injury was what helped them bind together and refuse to crumble. If he hadn't been shot, if Katya had not been faced with losing him Ellen knew the girl would have never given him the chance to explain. Ellen had a new confidence. Now she knew that her family could make it through anything.
"Game off," She ordered as she flopped down between the two pairs in the corner of the sofa.
"Just a sec, Ellen," Alexi protested. "I'm almost done kicking this loser's ass."
"Game off," She repeated as she shut it down with her own cuff.

The screen went blank and the shared look on the boys' faces made both Saul and Katya chuckle.
"I could have come back from that," Blaze said as he threw the tablet control down by his side and crossed his arms.
"No fucking way, rocket-jock," Alexi scoffed.
"Well we'll never know, will we?"Ellen said pertly. "So let's move on."

She reached for Blazer's discarded tablet.

Soon she had a folder full of files projected over the wall's image screen.
"Aunt Ellen, what are you doing?" Katya probed suspiciously.

Ellen didn't answer.
"What the frak are you looking for?" Saul followed.

He grimaced when he saw that she'd opened their family album folder.
"The New Year is coming," She smiled with a shrug. "We're all together."

They all stared at her silently for a half second.
"Oh no!" Katya suddenly whined, throwing her head back with a wince.
"Oh yes," Ellen insisted as she hovered over the file. "C'mon. We watch it every year,"
"Wait, is that what I think it is?" Blaze smirked. "Twinkle toes?"

He raised a brow at Katya and she palmed her forehead.
Ellen smiled and opened the file. It was Katya's performance in Tchaikovsky's Nutcracker Suite; a seasonal ballet from the region of the Eastern Federation. They watched it every winter.

Hundreds of years before the people moved to the space stations in Obit many holidays had been celebrated around the time of the New Year. Though some held on to specific ancient traditions and beliefs the season had become a general time for togetherness and thanks. People exchanged gifts with loved ones and shared large celebratory meals. Parties were held and drinks were had. When the Tighs first came aboard they had related it to the Winter Solstice celebrations practiced on the Twelve Colonies. Soon they developed their own yearly customs just like any other Orbit family.

"Its tradition," Ellen said proudly but they all groaned in response.
"Aunt Ellen no one wants to watch it but you," Katya complained, "We've all seen it like ten times. And it's totally embarrassing for me."
"It is not, kitten. You were so adorable."
"Ellen, don't torture the kids," Saul grumbled.

Hurt and disappointment immediately shown in Ellen's eyes. She'd been so happy to finally be together and watching the holiday ballet was a family ritual she'd come to treasure over the years.
"Is sitting here and watching this as family really torture?"

The slight intentional waver in her voice shut everyone up. They all felt badly to upset her, especially with the stress she'd recently been under. They silently relented just to make her happy for a night.

"No, Ellen," Alexi assured her. "Of course not."

Ellen grinned at his considerate surrender. She was satisfied with the success of her blatant guilt trip.

Kayta rolled her eyes and slouched in her seat as Ellen clicked the file and the overture started.
"There are cookies on the counter if anyone wants," She offered with a smile before bringing her feet up under her and getting comfortable.

She turned the cabin lights off with her cuff and settled in.
Everyone else had fallen to sleep on the sofa before the second act even started but Ellen stayed up watching intently. Her eyes welled with pride and beautiful memories as she watched her little girl dance on the screen. She looked over at her daughter; sleeping next to Saul with her head resting on his good shoulder as he snoozed away beside her. Every day they had together for the last fifteen years had been a blessing to Ellen. Every single day. She was even thankful for recent days that had threatened to break them because now she was sure that those trials would only bring them closer. She'd been wrong to doubt her family. Ellen hated to admit it but Laura had been right. Whether she was just trying to cover her own hide or not Laura had insisted that Katya was capable of understanding what Saul had done on New Caprica. She told Ellen with fire in her eyes how much she knew that Katya loved them and how she was sure that nothing could change it. For some reason hearing it from Laura made Ellen believe it more than she ever had. She felt guilty for having lacked faith in the two people she loved the most.

When her eyes went back to the screen she smiled again. She'd saved the costume nightgown Katya was dancing in. It was in the back of their closet and the matching slippers hung on the wall of Katya's old room. The girl had gone through hundreds of pairs over the years and so many costumes but every now and then Ellen would save an item or two from a special performance. They were mementos from ballets that touched her, ones that she knew Katya put her heart and soul into. Ellen just couldn't part with them; satin slippers, little sparkling hair pieces, a tutu or two. There was a memory attached to each one. Even when Katya wasn't at the cabin Ellen felt surrounded by her. Their home was filled with echoes of her youthful giggles, her old things were still scattered around in plain sight and every spot held some kind of memory. Not far down the corridor Ellen knew another woman was wishing that those priceless memories were her own.

Ellen looked at Katya again and her heart clenched this time. She was caught off guard by what she saw. She'd never let herself see Laura in the girl. She couldn't. Not even when she was a child. She had no problem taking in every Adama attribute Katya had inherited. She loved her striking blue eyes and her dark flowing hair. It wasn't out of malice but she just always seemed to ignore the physical traits passed down by the girl's mother. She couldn't ignore them anymore. In the darkened cabin with only the dull glow of the screen reflecting on the young woman's face Ellen could see Laura so vividly. She could see her in Katya's cheek bones, in her soft pale skin and the curved bow of her lips. Ellen's eyes watered. She swallowed hard and looked down at her cuff. She brought up Laura's name and sent a quick message before she could change her mind. When it was done she let herself drift off to the last few numbers of the ballet.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 126B: ASSIGNMENT; ROSLIN/ADAMA

YEAR: 2315

Bill and Laura had finally spent a quiet day with each other. Since the ambush things were tense. Bill hadn't been given many shifts since then. During the week he'd spent much of his time with Saul while he was in the ward recovering. With Ellen working on getting everyone in once place Bill took on her role as the Colonel's worried companion. They played games on his tablet, told old stories, and bitched about the ward staff. Laura brought them lunch every day until Saul was discharged. For the first few days she messaged Bill to come outside the curtain to get the afternoon meal. Sometimes she would just leave it with an orderly. She couldn't find the nerve to face Saul. She was terrified of it. The night of the ambush she hadn't followed Bill and Ellen inside his curtain after Katya sped off. She just couldn't look at him knowing the pain she'd caused no matter how unintentional it was. Later, when she and Bill were back in their cabin for the night Laura finally confessed what had gone on, why she and Ellen had been fighting. When she told Bill that Katya had attacked Saul after her slip up he looked like he was going to be sick. She knew that he didn't blame her but the look on his face made her feel just as bad as if he did. A few days later when Bill came home from a visit to the ward he was able to assure Laura that the Tigh family was going to be alright. Saul was confident about it and so Bill was too. He tried to reassure Laura that she didn't have a reason to hide from the colonel. Though she was unsure of Bill's message she put on a brave face the next day and brought the injured man his lunch. When Saul first looked at her from his bed all she could give him was a breathy shaky apology before her eyes watered. He shook his head and told her there was no need. He told her that it wasn't her fault and that Ellen would see that soon. She believed that she had Saul's forgiveness and understanding but she didn't expect Ellen's.

The two woman crossed paths only a handful of times during the week following their intense confrontation. The unexpected expression of gratitude that Laura had offered Ellen in the bunker had been the last words they'd exchanged. Since then they didn't speak when in each other's company. Their eye contact consisted of fleeting glances. They didn't offer each other hellos or goodbyes. They hardly nodded. And yet somehow the tension between them was gone. Somehow Laura felt more comfortable in Ellen's presence than she ever had before. They hadn't resolved a thing that day. They'd done nothing but tear each other apart and rain a thousand angry wounds upon one another and yet somehow Laura found herself looking at Ellen in a new way. She'd always seen a manipulative opportunist, a user, a drunk and a tramp. It wasn't as if those facets of the woman were gone but to spite herself now when Laura looked at Ellen Tigh she saw so much more. She saw a full but injured heart, a leader, a wife and a mother; the mother of her child. The strangest part was that Laura could feel that Ellen was looking at her differently as well. She could sense it.

With Saul discharged Bill and Laura decided to give the colonel and his family their space. It was Helo's first full day aboard Alpha and Bill invited him and Athena to dinner. It was the first time he and Laura had true invited guests in their quarters. They ordered a catered cabin meal and even had some wine that Helo brought from Beta Station. Bill and Laura were both surprised at how much it made the cabin feel more like their home.

There was a shared sense of strangeness at one point in the night when it was mentioned that both couple's children were at the Tigh's for dinner. It wasn't spoken about in much detail but it was understood that both Katya and Blaze were with their family, with their adoptive parents; the ones they knew and loved in a home that felt safe and familiar. While both couples were grateful for the family Saul and Ellen created for their son and daughter the absence was felt at their table. Their children weren't with them but they were where they belonged.

Unlike the dinner at the Tigh household they didn't avoid the most important topics at hand. The four resurrected people tried to take advantage of their time together. They expressed concerns and notions over their purpose and goals. Unfortunately none of it seemed to get them anywhere. Sharon was still keeping D'Anna's secret under Ellen's instruction. She hadn't even told Helo. There seemed to be little use in upsetting everyone else. Ellen was right; the bots were coming for them anyway. That hadn't changed. Whether or not D'Anna had incited that particular day's attack was mostly irrelevant. The point was; they were coming back. Sharon hoped her unease over the secret wasn't noticeable. Besides that bit of hidden knowledge she had little to add that seemed helpful. It seemed to be the case for all four of them.

After the Agathons left Laura felt slightly disheartened. She had been hoping for something a little more productive. They had no grand ideas or revelations, only a nice meal. What had started out as a pleasant evening had left the air in the cabin tinged with a hint of hopelessness. She was surprised when Bill stopped her from cleaning up the dishes. He came up behind her at the kitchen sink, giving her a warm kiss to the neck. She could tell by the way his lips lingered that he had specific intentions and she was immediately relieved. Since the ambush Bill had been unwilling. He was plagued by his nerves. While Laura sought out physical contact for distraction he refused, unable to concentrate, unsettled by the air around them. She only wanted to escape that air in his kisses but for nights on end he'd turned her away.

Sometimes Bill just couldn't pacify Laura in that way, knowing that it was such a form of evasion for her. There were times he was glad to give her the comfort that she needed but after the ambush he just couldn't comply. Since then he'd been too overwhelmed by the circumstance, by what he'd seen in the corridors, by what he knew was still to come. His mind was still replaying the moment he'd left Saul and Katya on the other side of the burning stack of crates. He couldn't perform with that so fresh in his memory no matter how much Laura needed him. She wanted his protection and love but she also wanted refuge from all of her own fears, worries and mostly her guilt. Bill hadn't been in any shape to offer her that. His own state of mind was too unsure. Tonight though, after a relatively quiet week and a decent dinner in what they now called their home, he was feeling more receptive to expressing whatever they each needed.

Laura's relief was quickly overshadowed by her surprise over Bill's eagerness. Only a night ago he'd turned away from her in bed; stopping her roaming, almost pleading hands and giving her his back. In the kitchen he turned her roughly before lifting her onto the counter. It made her chuckle. Had he done that in their former bodies she knew they would both be paying for it later with strained muscles and hurt joints. The bodies they inhabited now had hardly been used, had never seen sickness or the stresses of a life lived. They both felt it; the hint of newness, the few slight years shaved off by Ellen's miscalculations. At first it had felt foreign and strange. Now it just felt good. With Laura propped atop the counter Bill leaned in for a kiss, the veracity of which made up for the last week of cold chaste nights all on its own. He wrapped one arm around her to brace the small of her back and let his other hand slide up her skirt. He was glad and more than aroused to see her wearing one. In their old life he had the privilege of seeing her legs peeking out of the skirt of almost every suit she wore on a daily basis. Now she hardly sported them at all. She wasn't the president anymore. She was a tutor and a military wife. Skirts weren't practical for everyday life on a space station but they were perfectly practical for what he was doing to her now. Laura gave a little gasp when Bill's fingers slipped past the last satin barrier and hit his target. She wasn't surprised at the feeling of his touch there, she was just happy.

Bill made sure Laura came twice before ever uttering a word to her. It was his apology for not being able to give her what she needed before. When she was breathless and panting atop the counter he smiled and brushed his hidden knuckles down her inner thigh as he waited for her to catch her breath.
"That's good, Laura," He huskily whispered with a wry smile, "That's better." He soothed. "Need a break?"
When she took a large gulp of air and nodded he chuckled and leaned in to kiss her again. When he pulled back to look into her eyes he saw relief and gratitude hidden behind the haze of lusty satisfaction.
"Break's over," He mumbled before picking her up off of the counter top and bringing her to their rack.

It was theirs. They never had a bed that was truly theirs before. They had her tiny cot on Colonial One that led them to the floor or her desk most times. They had his rack on Galactica but though Laura felt at home with him there she had always technically been a visitor in his space. They'd always just shared what the other had. Bill found the thought of a place that was truly theirs together sort of romantic.

After Katya revealed their legal Orbit marriage he and Laura hardly spoke of it but within Bill's own thoughts he secretly called Laura his wife. Sometimes he even said it out loud to Saul or when referring to her in unfamiliar company who didn't know any better. It made him feel good to say it, to think of it.
He loved the fact that Laura was his wife, his lover, the mother of his child. He loved that she was everything she could never be in their last life. Though they'd both been dragged from eternal paradise and though there was war and death around them, a large part of Bill was grateful to be there with her experiencing a life they had never gotten to live. It was too hard for him to explain so he showed her with every caress and every thrust of his hips between the sheets of their bed. When he'd given her everything he could he finally sought his own release with the veracity of a much younger man and took her with him once more. In the back of her mind Laura thanked Ellen for her mistake for the first time. They'd been laying in tangle of limbs and bed sheets ever since.
"Where did that come from?" Laura asked after she gathered herself enough to speak.

Bill gave a little groan and kissed her shoulder.
"A week of holding out?" He considered.
She hummed in agreement but she wasn't satisfied with his response. She'd seen something more in his eyes as he frakked her senseless.

"That's it?"
"That's not enough?" He scoffed. Laura just shrugged and he suddenly felt the need to justify his unexpected zealousness. "Do you think it's easy to sleep next to you every night and not be in the right state of mind to do anything about it?" Bill posed defensively.

She squinted and smiled suspiciously against his chest.
"And what's changed?"

Bill Shrugged.
"Nothing I suppose."

"Things are no better, Bill."
"That's true."
"So why now?"
"You seemed to be enjoying yourself well enough," Bill evaded.

He was at least confident in that. Her almost lyrical hums and moans had told him that much.
"Of course I did. I always do. The quality of the performance isn't what I'm inquiring about. I'm asking about the motivation."
"Frak, Laura. You're speaking like a politician. What if I said the motivation was tits and ass?"
"Then I'd say you're speaking like a sailor, Bill," She countered. It got a reluctant laugh from him. "I'm not complaining. I'm just curious."

He grumbled and settled his body further into the warmed mattress.
"I guess I was just thinking."
"Of?"
"You? Us."
"Well I'm glad no one else was on your mind during all of that."

Bill sighed at her sarcasm.

"It's more than that…I was just looking at you and thinking about everything you mean to me. Everything we are to each other…how much has changed."
"Changed."

Bill didn't like the sudden stiffness he heard in the way she echoed him. The fact that emotion still scared Laura more than anything was almost irritating to him. He hated that he still had to feel hesitant about sharing his own feelings for fear of upsetting her. It made him want to expose her to it all the more. After all they'd been through on Alpha Bill knew that she could handle it. She just didn't like it.

"Laura I know that our souls have been together for eons. I know that. I feel it but…I can't remember it. Not the details. Not where we came from before this. All I remember are those few precious years we had together in the fleet. It was too short, Laura. It meant everything to me but in the end all I wanted was more time with you. Death gave us that I suppose but until it comes again I won't know exactly what it brought us the first time. I'm sure the afterlife with you was paradise…but I just don't have the memories. I do know what this life has brought us. Sometimes I feel guilty for thinking this way, for being glad to be here with you. If this world wasn't in such a frakked up state then we would have never been brought back. To be thankful that the civilization we gave our lives to save is once again on the brink of destruction sounds wrong." She was silent and unresponsive by his side so he just went on. "I guess what I'm saying is that I'm not glad for the reasons we came back but I can't help but feel like this is the time I asked for, the life I wanted to live with you. The one we never had time for. It isn't ideal and it isn't easy. Most of it isn't even pleasant. It's just as dangerous and tentative as the last…but so much is different."
"Different. You mean I'm different."

The tone in her voice sounded almost accusatory.
"Laura I've kept this from you for months because I was afraid of how you would take it. I didn't want it to diminish anything that we had before. The woman who you were then was more than I could have asked for. I still cherish who you were; everything you were to me and everything you weren't. It's just that this life has brought us so much and I love that too." Bill steeled his will and decided to be as honest with her as he could whether she liked it or not. "The first night that Saul told me about Katya I came home to you, to this bed and I couldn't help that something in my heart had changed. Something about knowing you were the mother of my child…I don't know…" hE cringed hating how primal he sounded, "Frak. It felt so primitive! I was ashamed of it; especially because of how it happened. Maybe I still am ashamed or I would have told you this before. I couldn't stand thinking of what was done to you and yet the end result was only ours and I couldn't stop how that made me feel. You didn't even know she'd been born but when I looked at you I felt a connection we never had before. It's only grown since then. It isn't something I can help. Blame it on baser male instincts. Blame it on something animalistic. You had my baby and I can't help the way I see you now. It just made me love you in an entirely new sense. Not more, just different. It made me want you and crave you in a whole new way. It made me want to worship your body like it was frakking Aphrodite's. You gave me a gift that I can't help being grateful for. Maybe that makes me a pig. It's just the truth." He was unsure of the look on Laura's face. She had tears in her eyes but he couldn't tell if they were out of sympathy or resentment. Either way, the confession felt like a ton of bricks had been lifted from his shoulders. "There are parts of this life that I hate but there are parts I can't help but see as another chance; a chance to live just a sliver of the many lives I used to wish we had together. To marry a true partner, to share a home, share a family. Sometimes I feel like it's a second chance."

Laura narrowed her eyes letting some tears slip free.
"If it was a second chance we wouldn't have missed so frakking much of it."
"I know how much we lost out on, Laura. I think of it every day. It doesn't stop me from being thankful for being here now, no matter how hard it is."

Laura shook her head as more tears started to fall.

"We missed too much. A few years sooner and we could have…"

She didn't know what a few years sooner would have given her. Rationally she knew that it wouldn't have changed much. Their relationship with Katya would probably be no easier but they would have gotten to see that much more of the girl's life. She would have settled for anything more; months, weeks, days, a few more precious moments.
"It hurts, Laura. I know it hurts. I see how it hurts you every time I look into your eyes. But seeing you and Katya together now, even just standing in the same room; it makes the pain of a lost past bearable. We're all together now. It isn't easy but we're together. She's with us. We have her now." Bill's eyes watered. "You never said anything about…about the ward last week when she hugged you," He tested. He hesitated for a moment when she winced and her tears started to stream steadily. "You don't have to say anything now if you don't want to…but I want you to know how much it meant to me to witness that. Seeing our daughter in your arms; it made being dragged back from the dead worth it. I'd die and resurrect a thousand times to see that, Laura." She let out a strangled whimper and he clutched her body close. "You asked me weeks ago if I thought she could ever love you. I said that I thought so. Now I know that she could…and I suspect in some way she already does."

Bill held Laura as her body shook quietly beside his. Though he hated how much pain she still felt he was just glad that she had let her sadness surface instead of her anger, instead of becoming detached as she so often did. He was surprised when she actually gathered her voice enough to speak.
"I held her, Bill," She cried against his neck. "And even though it felt so good I still couldn't help thinking of the thousands of times that she should have been in my arms and wasn't. I should have held her the instant she was born. I should have rocked her and fed her, wrapped her in my arms when she was hurt or scared and hugged her before school. I didn't. I wasn't there." As Laura spoke she grabbed on tighter to Bill with every word. "Ellen was there for her but not for all of it. Ellen missed out too. Katya went seven years without knowing a mother's touch. I look at our daughter and I want to see a future with her but all I see is everything that I missed. I see a past I'll never get back." She bit back her tears knowing they would just keep coming if she allowed it. "I just want to know what it was like."
Bill's heart dropped at how desperate her last words sounded. For a moment he considered his next words.
"You know Laura, we've been stumped as to what we're doing here. All we've been able to do is help in the small individual ways that we can; your teaching, my service. Until we figure out our real purpose maybe there is more that we could be doing for these people. Maybe there are more tangible ways to be of significant use, to make a difference."
"Like what?"
"Well, this station has so many orphaned children. I wouldn't be opposed to considering…"
The way Laura almost recoiled from his embrace made Bill immediately stop and wince.

"You're kidding me, Bill."

She looked abhorred and maybe a little offended. He knew the instant he said it that he shouldn't have brought it up after all. The notion had come to him not long after Laura took on her teaching position. A few times he'd witnessed her playing and laughing with the little girl she taught. The way she carried Li-Ming around the cabin on her hip, the way she spoke to her in such a soft and encouraging voice showed him a hint of what it would have been like to see her care for Katya. He'd seen it long ago on his visits down to New Caprica before the cylon invasion. During the few months of peace they'd enjoyed Bill made many raptor trips down to the surface. He would stop by Laura's tent school and watch her work. She had an easy way with her students. It was endearingly warm while still commanding of respect and appreciation. He had been impressed then but somehow now it was different. Now he couldn't help seeing her as a mother as well as a teacher. He couldn't help recognizing how lucky a child would be to have her.

In the control room Cmdr. Kaplan was briefed daily on the growing number of orphaned military children. Bill heard the numbers growing steadily and it made his stomach turn in the same way that it had when similar reports were given to him on Galactica. It was really only a fleeting idea; something he would have been open to had Laura been interested but now he could tell he'd been wrong to even mention it.
"It was just a thought," He shrugged, trying to explain himself. "Katya was one of those orphans once. Saul and Ellen saved her from facing a lonely and frightening future. There are more and more children like her every day. I didn't mean to upset you. I just thought that maybe giving one of them a home could help heal some of the hurt we all feel. Katya could use someone in the family who looks up to her. It might help her grow up a bit, force her to be a good example. And we would be paying forward the favor the Tighs did for us while getting to experience some of things we missed out on."
"I don't want to replace my baby, Bill. I just want her back."

Bill let out a low and relenting breath.
"That can't happen, Laura."
"I know."
"So love her now."

There was a hard knot in Laura's throat and her larynx tightened around it. After a moment she was able to squelch out a response.
"I do."
Bill kissed Laura on the temple. When her eyes dried he used his cuff to turn off the dim light above their rack and rolled over. The night had run long. They were both exhausted. Before he could manage to drift too far into sleep he felt a vibration under the covers. His cuff was silent.
"Laura?"
"Mm?"
"That yours?"
"Yes."
He could hear that she was alert, awake and nowhere near sleep. Part of him felt badly for not staying up with her. He could still hear the sadness in her voice and he felt like he'd put it there.
"What's up?"
"It's a message," She answered softly.
He turned slightly to see the glow of her cuff's screen reflecting on her face and pillow as she held her wrist hovering above her head.
"From?"
Laura licked her lips and swallowed as she read the screen's words.
" It's…It's from Ellen."

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR C

MED WARD

YEAR: 2315

The surgical bay was different from anything Sam had seen in his last life on Caprica. It more closely resembled something he would have seen on his Earth but it was still quite alien. The table was thin and cold, able to adjust to any individual's form. He felt its chill on his bare back. It made the constant pain in his ribs throb but it was the straps across his chest hips and arms that made him most uncomfortable. Above him hovered a large device with a robotic arm bolted to the wall. He knew that it was a surgical laser and body scanner. There was little need for cutting the sick and injured in this world unless something was being removed. Tawny had explained that much to him. To his left was a small machine wirelessly linked to his cuff that projected his vitals. Other than that there was little in the room. It was stark and sterile. There was one attending medic in the corner prepping and organizing at a small counter. It was late and the staff was minimal. The only comfort Sam had was sitting behind a glass window at the computer controls. He could hardly move due the restraints but he was able to lift his head enough to look at Tawny through the glass and give her a smile.
He was glad when she looked up at him from the consol and grinned back. After adjusting a few more things in front of her Tawny rose from her seat, left the small control room and entered the white open expanse of the surgical bay. When she made it to his side she put her warm hand on Sam's forearm. It felt good on his skin, cold from the frigid air.
"Are you ready?" Tawny smiled down at him compassionately.

Anders tried to shrug but the restraints made it hard to move.
"I'm ready to get this over with."
"It would have been done days ago if you had cooperated," She reminded with a little less gentleness.
Once Tawny got Sam to Alpha things hadn't exactly gone as planned. She had convinced her father and Kaplan to back up her transfer request due to Sam's medical and mental health needs. Delta Station was more than happy to get rid of the man and approved his removal almost immediately. With Ellen's help and persuasion of the government the request was granted. Tawny had intended on mending his broken ribs as soon as they came aboard but once Sam Anders was on Alpha Station his behavior became erratic once again. After almost a week he was finally calm enough to allow Tawny to do the procedure.

"Well I'm ready now," He mumbled.
"Good because after this I'm ready to go to bed."
"It was your idea to do this so late."
"I'm doing it for you and for everyone else. You've successfully pissed off yet another group of medical professionals." Sam had caused quite the scene during his initial visit to Alpha's infirmary. With Saul still in the ward at that point Ellen had to leave her husband's bedside just to attend to Sam and try to help Tawny calm him down. It was the same as it had been on Delta. He fought against his security. He begged to see Kara. He begged to see Katya. He begged to see his wife. Once Sam was finally assigned his own quarters he became slightly less confrontational but the impression had already been made. "My staff now hates you almost as much as the med staff on Delta. You make them uncomfortable. I was lucky to get one medic to assist tonight."
"I'm sorry for that."

Tawny looked down at him on the table and narrowed her eyes.

"No you're not, Sam. I think I at least know you well enough by now to know that," She challenged. "You know my father doesn't like you either," She added.
That made Sam smirk up at the doctor.
"Now that, I'm truly sorry for," He said with a wink. "Does that mean I don't have a chance?"
"Very funny," Tawny said with a roll of her eyes. "Anyway, I know I explained this once before but I just want to go over a few things. The laser above will be guided at the consol by my hand. It will never come closer than a few inches from your body but I'll be able to direct it with precision. The body scanner feeds to my screen's projection and I'll be able to see a three dimensional render of exactly where I need to focus. I'll set the laser to a bone and cartilage mend and within a few short minuets those cracks in your ribs will be gone. I'll just be a few feet away behind the glass. How's that sound?"
"Sounds like a plan."
"Good. My medic will put you under in just a moment," She announced, patting his bare bicep,
"You'll wake up good as new."

Sam suddenly squinted as if he didn't understand.
"Put me under? No, no. I'm not going under."
"Anders its standard practice."
"No. No more drugs. You saw what happened last time."

He could see that Tawny was already getting fed up but there was no way he was letting her drug him again. If he had to he would break through the straps that held him down, broken ribs and all just to avoid it.
"If I try to give you a local this is going to take even longer. We'll be sitting around until your rib cage is totally anesthetized. It's a very hard area to numb."
"Fine. Lets to go without it. Awake, no local, not drugs. Let's just do it."
"Anders no way."
"You told me the entire treatment wouldn't take more than five minutes."
"It shouldn't but still. Do you understand how painful it will be? Even with an intravenous pain killer."
"I can take five minutes of pain. I once fractured my ankle in the middle of a game and played the entire second half."
"That's not the same."
"It's not? You ever play a round of pyramid with a broken bone?"
"I don't even know what that is," Tawny scowled. "Look, the only time we ever forgo anesthesia during laser treatment is for spinal surgery when we need to make sure repaired nerves are reacting properly. We do it so the patient can respond with movement as the repairs are done. It's total agony."
"This isn't spinal surgery," He defended. "It's a cracked rib."
"Just let me knock you out. You'll have a restful night's sleep at least."
"And then what? I'll wake up groggy, half out of it, not even know what world I'm in? What lifetime? I told you, Doc. I'm having enough trouble with that in my waking hours."

Tawny put her hands on her hips and pressed her lips together. She looked away from him and shook her head in frustration.

"I wish you would have let me call Ellen. She would have wanted to be here for you."
"I don't need her here. Anyways, she couldn't have changed my mind either."
"You know she's the closest thing you have to family. I can't understand how you've been treating her since you got here. I may have pulled some strings but when it came down to it she got you here. Not me," Tawny scolded.
"My relationship with Ellen Tigh is over 200,000 years old. We don't need any tips on how to interact."
"I'm not giving you any. I'm simply commenting on how rude you are to her simply because she won't give you what you want."

"She's not trying hard enough."
"She is trying."
"She can't get her own kid to listen? What is it was that girl? Is everyone scared of her?"

Tawny suddenly looked offended at the implication.
"I'm not scared of Katya. Look I don't understand why you won't just tell Ellen what you told me."
"And what did I tell you, Doc?" Sam nearly mocked.
The doctor shook her head in frustration.
"You can keep claiming that you don't remember what you said to me in Delta's ward. That's fine but I know now that you have more to tell. Maybe if you shared it with Ellen she'd be more inclined to help you."

Sam shook his head.
"You said that you'd talk to the Sergeant for me."
"I did."
"Did you tell him that I want to talk? That I want to apologize? You said that if I could make things right with him that maybe he could help convince her."
"Yes. I spoke to him."
"What did he say?"

Tawny sighed deeply.
"Alexi doesn't say much…but his eyes told me enough. I'm sorry, Anders. I tried. It's not happening."

Sam swallowed and looked up to the robotic arm above him. He knew that getting Katya's husband to speak to him would be a long shot. He just thought that maybe getting Alexi to forgive him would encourage Katya to do the same.
"I designed those eyes you know."
"Huh?"
"The Sergeant," Sam answered. "I can't remember him from my resurrection but I got a pretty good look at him the other day when Ellen was walking me back to my cabin. I knew it was him even before she confirmed it. He stared daggers at me, like…like he wanted to snap my neck." Anders stopped and chuckled under his breath at the thought. "Those eyes…they're his mother's. Model number Six. Saul and I designed her," He said as he smiled and his pupils seemed to focus on some distant memory. "We kept joking around that we wanted to create the perfect woman, physically at least. We left her internal programming to the others. In the end he and I based her on Ellen; the way she was when she was young. In a way those eyes are hers too. I replicated the color exactly. From Ellen, to a Six, to her son."

For some reason that bit of information and the faraway look in Sam's eyes gave Tawny chills. The connections between all of these people with prehistoric roots were deeper than she ever knew, maybe deeper than she ever could understand. She thought of the words from the Quartz Plates and from the cylon hybrid's message that her people knew as their only form of scripture; Life here began out there. She had always believed it. Now she could finally see it. She could see it in Alexi's eyes and it went on forever. His genes were so ancient. Not just from the Six her father and his colleagues had once cloned. The Sergeant's lineage was even older than that, from another yet world still. For the first time Tawny started to understand just how old Anders and the Tighs truly were. The same way she knew that she would never look at Alexi the same again she knew that she would never look into Ellen's eyes the same way either. The woman's heart and soul had been in this fight for longer than anyone could understand.
"Anders it's late. We should really get this done."
"Do it. I'm ready."
"Are you sure about this?"

He gave a curt nod.
"No drugs. Do it."

"Juéjiàng," Tawny said as she shook her head in frustration.

"Hm?"
"Stubborn," She harshly translated.

She frowned and finally relented against her better judgment. She almost resented the way she let herself be so swayed by Sam Anders. It wasn't like her.
"Do you want a fucking towel to bite on?" She quipped.

Anders looked up once more to the robotic arm looming over is body.

"If you have one handy."

Tawny rolled her eyes and walked off taking her seat at the consol behind the glass window. She signaled to her medic that she was about to begin. Before she started she warned Anders over the com system and promised she would work as fast as she could. She held back tears as she worked through the sounds of his screams. She was sure to dry her eyes before returning to his side once she was through.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 119B: ASSIGNMENT; TIGH

YEAR: 2315

"You're still awake?" Ellen asked with a yawn as she walked into the bedroom.

Saul still had the rack light on and was sitting up in bed staring into nothing.
"I can't sleep," He grumbled.
"You were sleeping well enough on the couch for most of the night. Slept right through the ballet. You all did. I was watching on my own."

She hadn't honestly expected them all to stay awake. She was just happy to have their company. It was a comfort to be all together.

Ellen walked to the rack and bent over to give Saul a peck on the forehead before perching herself on the side of the bed.
"The kids gone?" He asked.
"Yes," She said with a sad smile. "They left a while ago. I just stayed out there to watch the end of the ballet. I missed some once I nodded off myself." Saul half smiled at her sentiment though his mind was mostly elsewhere. "Are you in pain? I can get you one of your pills. It should help you get to sleep."

He grimaced at her offer.
"I don't want those things."
"You're worse than kit," Ellen scoffed, "Just take one. I might just for fun," She teased.

Saul shook his head in dismissal.
"How was she? You know, when she left? Was she alright?"

The family had knocked out on the sofa at various points during the ballet recording. Even Ellen, over worked as she was, couldn't keep her eyes open through all of it. Sometime after it ended they were all startled awake by a loud shrill scream. It had come from Katya who still lay half asleep at her Uncle's side. She struggled and cried in her sleep. When Saul couldn't shake her awake Alexi rushed over. He was worried that she would unintentionally hurt the injured man beside her. Ellen got to her first. It hardly mattered. They were all practiced with waking Katya from her frequent twilight fits. After they all tried a calling her name a few times it was Blazer's voice which eventually woke her by barking her call sign. At the sound of his barreling Koshka she sat up with a start and an exclamation that Alexi had become well acquainted with. Saul however, was far more shaken as he heard the girl crying out the names Husker and Helo. Hearing the call signs come from her in such a frightened tone gave Saul in inexplicable chill. He immediately started to interrogate her about her dream; who she was calling for, what she wanted with them but Katya couldn't or wouldn't answer him. He couldn't tell. She was confused and groggy but something about the way she was acting made Saul believe she was holding something back. Once she was fully awake and he still couldn't get any further explanation from her he angrily excused himself to bed.

When Katya was calm Ellen insisted she stay the night in her old room. She offered the boys the sofa if they wanted to stay as well. To her dismay all three declined. She knew they had planned to call Margot together back at Katya and Alexi's cabin. She let them go without much more resistance. She figured she could use their help convincing the trouble cylon girl to leave the Basestar and she trusted that Katya would be fine overnight by Aexi's side.

"Katya's fine, Saul," Ellen insisted. "Why the frak did you storm off to bed like that?"
"She wouldn't answer me," He answered gruffly, causing his wife to squint in feigned confusion.
"Saul she was half asleep," Ellen defended. "She'd obviously just had a bad dream. What did you want from her?"
"I don't know," He said with frustration in his voice. "What was with that outburst?"

Ellen shrugged.
"Something scared her."
"Something. Something. What? She woke up screaming. She wasn't just scared. She was insistent."

Saul was sure he had heard more than fear in his daughter's voice. He heard determination and intent.
"Saul that poor girl has had nightmares since she was a child. You know how they come and go. I remember nights when we would have to stay up with her in shifts just to let each other get some sleep," Ellen recounted. "Tonight was nothing."
"You didn't hear her?"
"Hear what?"
"What she woke up shouting."
"I dunno. Something about Bill?"
"Husker," Saul quickly corrected. "She woke up shouting Husker and Helo. 'It's Husker and Helo'. She said it clear as day and loud as anything."

Ellen shrugged and leaned back on her elbows.
"Okay. Husker and Helo. What's the big deal?"
"Don't you think that's odd?"

Ellen pinched the bridge of her nose and let out a long breath.
"I don't know. Not really," She considered. "Karl just came aboard tonight. Blaze was talking about him during dinner. It could be that his arrival was in the back of her mind."

"She didn't say Karl. She didn't say Cpt. Agathon. She said Helo. Husker and Helo."
"Saul…honestly…so frakking what?"

Ellen groaned and ran a frustrated hand through the crown of her hair. She needed sleep. She was getting a headache.
"Since when does she call Bill Husker? No one does. Not in this lifetime."
"She has probably heard you do it."

Saul thought for a moment and then shook his head so hard it hurt his sore shoulder.
"No. No, Ellen. I'm sure. I've used his call sign maybe twice since his resurrection and only in private conversation."
"But Katya knows that it was his call sign. Saul you've told her every frakking story you could remember from your viper pilot days a hundred times over. She's heard us call Karl Helo plenty. She knew his call sign long before his download. Your days on Galactica were her favorite stories of all. I'm sure she could name about twenty Colonial pilots off the top of her head."

Saul looked down at the crumpled blanket in his lap.
"I guess that's true," He muttered.
"You know it is. Why did that get you so upset anyway?"
"I don't know, Ellen. The way she said it. The look in her eyes when she woke up." He couldn't explain himself any better so he gave up. "Anyway you know I hate seeing her like that. I always have."

Ellen tilted her head and gave him a soft knowing smile.
"She's alright, Saul," She insisted, smoothing out the sheets around him.

He rubbed at his tired brow.
"You know, Ellen a few weeks ago you were convinced that something was wrong with her. When I told you that she was fine you said I was insulting your damn maternal instinct."

At his accusation Ellen sat up straighter on the bed.
"I did notice a difference in her for a while but things seem okay now. Look, Saul I think it was me after all. I was away on Delta so much. I felt guilty about being not spending as much time with her. You were right; I probably put that all in my head. I'm not trying to insult you or your own intuition when it comes to Kat. I'm just saying that her nightmares are nothing new. They come and go. You know that. I wish she would talk to me. It isn't that I'm not worried. It's not that I don't see a change in her. It's just that I'm pretty sure I understand what's going on. Right now these kids are all afraid. And can you blame them? I'm not surprised she's been having nightmares again."

Saul chewed on the inside of his cheek for a moment considering his wife's words.
"You know she's been having them bad since she was in that accident," He pointed out.
"I know," Ellen nodded. "I had hoped it was just all due to the medication she was on. Once she was better and they didn't seem to go away I'll admit I was worried but it makes sense. If you think about it the nightmares actually started soon after Bill and Laura's resurrection. Then combat started to become more frequent and she had her accident. She's watched us bring a total of six people back from the dead. She's taken on new responsibilities at work. You and Kaplan have her working on protocol reform and still running LSO shifts. She's stressed, Saul."

"So it's my fault for overworking her?"
"I'm not saying that. This is just how her tension and worry comes out. It's always been this way."

Saul was quiet and for a moment Ellen thought she'd finally convinced him that she was right.
"Husker and Helo?" He repeated after a long beat.

Ellen couldn't help but roll her eyes and palm her forehead.
"Saul she knows those men; who they are, who they were, because of you, because you made sure that she did from the time she was a little girl. So she used their frakking call signs? Big deal!"

Saul almost went to protest but he stopped himself and eased back into his pillows.
"I suppose that makes sense," He surrendered. They weren't getting anywhere and he didn't even know what he was really trying to get at. He had just been overcome with the strangest feeling after Katya's outburst and he couldn't seem to get past it. Saul reached for his wife's hand and thumbed at her soft skin as he spoke. "You know I remember when she was little and I would tell her the same damn stories about Galactica over and over again. She never got tired of them…but…sometimes…sometimes I'd get tired of reciting them. So once in a while when she would ask I would say, kit you know the story. You tell it to me instead…And she would. She'd tell it to me with excitement and vigor in her eyes. Sometimes I would swear that she could recite certain stories back to me better than I'd ever told them to her. She would add details and emotion that I didn't even think I'd conveyed to her in first place. She could tell those stories as well as if she'd been there herself. Sometimes it was…I don't know…almost spooky."

Ellen leaned back onto the bed and lay over Saul's lap.
"She was such a bright little girl, so receptive. You know it took her a while to really understand her cylon abilities. Maybe she could just read your emotions. You didn't have to tell her. She just knew."

Saul nodded as he looked down at her.
"Maybe."
"Saul I don't want you getting mad at Kat for not being able to explain herself. You two are on such shaky grounds with each other right now and you see that she's trying to do right by you."
"I'm not mad at her, Ellen. I just got…frustrated. She woke up yelling those men's call signs like she meant it, like she had a reason. All I asked was why. She told me she didn't remember. I think she lied to me. Why would she do that?"
"You don't know that she lied."
"A father knows."
"And I don't?" Ellen challenged. "Saul what are you trying to say? I can feel the suspicion coming from you. What is it?"

He didn't know. They were both exhausted.
"Forget it, Ellen. She woke me out of a deep sleep too. My bum shoulder was bothering me. I don't know why it got to me. You're right. I should let it go."

Ellen sat up with a sigh.
"You need your rest, Saul. I want you to get better." She scooted next to him and placed her hand on his chest. She gave his cheek a few light kisses as she inched her palm slowly down his body. "I want to know I'm not going to hurt you when I…"
"Ellen," He warned.
"Alright," She huffed. "I can wait." She turned and lifted herself off of the bedside. "I'm going to get ready for bed. I'll bring your pills in a second."

Saul winced at the mention of his medication but he didn't protest.
"Hey, Ellen?" He called after her. "When's the last time you checked on Anders?"
"Early this afternoon. I brought Helo. He asked to see Sam when he first came aboard. We didn't stay long. He wasn't in the mood for visitors. Why?"
"Because we went all night without hearing squat from that lunatic. Since when does that happen?"
Since Sam's arrival on Alpha he had proven to be almost as much of a nuisance as he had been on Delta Station. He wasn't getting violent any longer but he was still confrontational with almost everyone he encountered. Ellen tried her best. She spent as much time with him as she could. Though he would almost always protest to her visits eventually he would settle down enough for them to have semi-civil conversations. Though those conversations most often went nowhere she could still see elements of her old friend in him. Against her better judgment she'd stocked his bar. It wasn't as much for him as it was for her. She needed a drink or two to get through some of their time together. Ellen knew that Tawny was checking in on him as well and she knew from the guards that Sam never seemed to deny the pretty doctor's house calls. It actually comforted Ellen to know that Sam had some kind of friendly interaction in the world besides her. Though Tawny wouldn't share the content of their talks Ellen sensed that Sam had opened up to the young woman, at least partially.
"I'd like to think the best," Ellen said, forcing some light into her voice, "Maybe he's calming down."

Saul rolled his eye.
"Fat frakkin' chance."
"His guards would have alerted me if anything was wrong tonight. There's a centurion stationed with his marine detail now."
"Did he ask for kit today when you saw him?" Saul tested.
"Of course," Ellen said over her shoulder as she made her way to the head.

It made Saul cringe. He was sick of it.
"You any closer to getting that crazy bastard to tell you what he wants with her?"

Ellen stopped at the head door and leaned on its frame.
"He won't tell me. Not really. He'll only say that it's really important to him. I've told you before, I think it's time she spoke to him. What harm could it do?"
"She doesn't want to, Ellen."
"I know. I know and I wanted tonight to be pleasant so I didn't bring it up to her in front of the boys but I'm going to again and I could use your help with her."

Ellen crossed her arms over her chest.
"Me? After all she and I have been through in the past week you think she's going to listen to me? And why would I do that anyway?"

He had no desire to make Katya see Anders. Saul knew the man was confused during the shock of his resurrection but he couldn't erase the memory of Sam grabbing on to her arm so tightly and how frightened she'd looked. The way Sam had been carrying on about her ever since was unsettling. He'd developed an obsession with the girl. If he wasn't asking for Katya he was asking for Starbuck and he did it no matter how many times they reminded him that she wasn't there. Saul suspected that Anders hadn't awoken with his full mental capacity. Something was off with him and he didn't want Katya around someone so obviously crazed.
"Sam is causing military disturbance, Saul. He requires constant attention that the rest haven't needed. Bill, Laura, Sharon, Helo; they may have been shaken at first but they did their best to get used to this world. D'Anna may have accidentally incited a godsdamn ambush but at least she's been frakking quiet! Sam causes a disruption everywhere he goes. Even with him on Alpha now he still makes my life ten times harder than it needs to be. You know how I feel about him. He was our friend once. It may have been ages ago but he meant something to the both of us, Saul. He isn't acting like them man we knew. It's a problem that could possibly be rectified by Katya meeting with him. You're her superior officer. She won't go if you ask as her father but she'll have to if you make it an order."
"Ellen I…"
"Saul, Tawny said something to me after she brought him over. I've known that girl since she was twelve years old and I've never seen such a strange look in her eyes. She said she couldn't explain why but... that someone needed to convince Kat to see him."
"So he conned her into working on his behalf."
"You know Tawny. She isn't so easily swayed, Saul. She said that he told her things that made her believe it was important that he and Katya meet again. She told me that she couldn't say anymore and that I'd have to ask him myself. I've been trying to get it out of him for days and he won't tell me."

Saul avoided Ellen's sharp gaze and looked back down to his lap.
"He still asking for Kara too?"
"Yes" Ellen admitted. "Sometimes."

Saul suddenly felt a lump grow in his throat. He swallowed it down and shook his head.
"Get ready for bed, Ellen. It's late."

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 139B: ASSIGNMENT; ISAKOFF/PETROV

YEAR: 2315

Laura hadn't been sleeping very long before the nightmares took over her dreams. She'd actually fallen to sleep feeling quite well. After her emotional exchange with Bill she was too tired to talk anymore. When he inquired about her message from Ellen she just brushed it off and told him to go to sleep. Once she was sure he'd nodded off she opened the notification the other woman had sent her. At first it seemed like it must be a mistake. It was comprised of nothing but two short streams of numbers and letters. There was no explanation, no greeting, not even a 'frak you' included in the note. It took Laura a few long minuets to figure out what Ellen had sent.

They were links; names of files located in the Tigh's family album network folders. Once Laura made the connection she realized that Ellen was directing her to look them up. The directive lead to two full length recordings of the same ballet. The two performances were dated eight years apart. Laura realized what Ellen had shared. It was the ballet she'd seen Katya dance to when Saul brought her to the theater for the first time. He told her that it was a holiday piece, that Katya and Alexi's cousin Yuri Petrov had danced the children's leads and years later taken on the adult roles. He told her that as a tradition Ellen watched the recordings every winter. Laura finally realized that with the system's holiday season upon them Ellen must have been watching that night. Ellen had led her to the files so that she could watch too. It was an apology. It was thanks and forgiveness. It was nothing but it was everything. Laura knew that for Ellen Tigh the gesture was probably akin to groveling at her feet for forgiveness. After watching for a while Laura brought up Ellen's message and simply responded with the word "breathtaking". She didn't get a reply. She didn't expect one. She didn't need one. She watched her daughter dance a while longer and then fell to sleep grateful to have been shown something so wonderful. She hoped she would dream of it. She didn't.

An hour later Laura woke up with a gasp. To spite the fact that she wore nothing but the bed sheets she was soaked in a cold sweat. She was glad when Bill didn't stir, probably a result of their vigorous lovemaking and the wine Helo brought from Beta Station. She ran to the head and splashed some cold water on her face hoping it would help but she knew she wouldn't be getting back to sleep any time soon. This time the nightmare was different. It was the same dream of the tubs and crumbling pillars but there was more to it, something new. When a lukewarm shower didn't sooth her anxiety Laura did something that totally went against her better judgment. She decided that she wouldn't wake Bill. He wouldn't understand, not really. She gritted her teeth and used her cuff to send a shaky and tentative message to her daughter simply asking if she was awake. She cringed after sending it. Like her response to Ellen she had no expectations of a reply so she almost jumped when her cuff buzzed so quickly in response. Laura winced when she read Katya's snarky reply of 'I am now'. She typed a frantic and half coherent apology, kicking herself for her foolish impulse. It was the middle of the night, she wasn't thinking straight. She almost didn't want to see what Katya's response was to what she knew must have read like nervous gibberish but when her cuff chimed again she couldn't help but take a look. Katya's answer flatly read 'Just come over.'

Laura couldn't resist the invitation no matter how crazy she knew she seemed in the moment. She dried her hair, threw on some clothes and quietly slipped out of the hatch. She got Vladi to follow her down the corridor to Katya's cabin leaving a marine guard on post as Bill slept. Her fist shook as she lightly knocked at the entrance. She considered that she'd finally lost her mind for good. She was too nervous to knock again; afraid to wake the surrounding neighbors. Perhaps Katya had even fallen back to sleep. Laura looked at Vladi as if to ask what he thought. His red eye swept from one side to the other and before she could even focus on him she shook her head in utter disgust over what she was doing. She nearly jumped back a foot when Katya opened the door. The girl looked at her like she was deranged.

"What in the living fuck is wrong?" Katya whispered harshly.

Laura pinched the bridge of her nose.

"I'm so sorry I woke you."
"Is someone hurt?"
"No."
"Is anybody dead?" Katya deadpanned.
"No."
"Well then what the hell?"
"I really do apologize. I didn't mean to scare you. No one is hurt."
Laura's words didn't match the look on her face and Katya's irritation grew into concern.
"You're sure?"
"Yes."

Katya was in a short dark blue satin robe and Laura watched as she cinched it shut at the waste a little tighter to cover the little matching night dress underneath. She remembered her own night with Bill and suddenly she worried she'd disturbed more than sleep. She felt her cheeks go red.
"Fine," Katya said, looking her mother over. "You know every time you show up at my door you look like death warmed over."

Laura's expression bordered on offended and ashamed.
"I know. I know. It's starting to seem like a bad habit."
Katya rolled her eyes.
"Well you're here now. Come in."
"Are you sure?"
Katya narrowed her eyes at what she deemed a stupid question.
"Well if you woke me up for nothing we're going to have a sincere problem."
Laura nodded, at least mostly sure that Katya was kidding. She quietly made her way in the direction that the young woman was gesturing.
Once Laura was inside Katya let out a huff and leaned out the door into the hallway.
"Spokoineh noche, Vladi," She mumbled before easing the door closed.

Laura stood anxiously in the darkened cabin. Only a light in the kitchenette gave off a dull amber glow allowing her to see the muted detail of the residence. Katya motioned for Laura to sit at the kitchen table. When Laura turned she was distracted by a low and gargled murmuring. She squinted toward the living area where it was coming from. After her eyes adjusted to the dark she saw the sleeping form of Lt. Bishop snoring on the sofa.
"Don't mind him," Katya instructed in a low voice.
"Won't we wake him?"
"Yeah right," Katya scoffed.
Laura looked unsure and hesitated to move further into the cabin.
"He's fine," Katya insisted. When she saw that Laura didn't believe her she reluctantly demonstrated. "Just watch. Blaze," She called in a soft but steady volume. "Blazer," She repeated a bit louder. "Blazer, wake up. Roslin is here. She wants to snuggle. She left the Admiral at home," Katya ribbed, further making her point and purposefully ruffling Laura's feathers.
"Okay, okay. I get it."

Katya chuckled at Laura's sharp whisper.
"He's fine," The girl insisted. "Besides if he wakes up he can get off of my couch and go sleep on his rack."

To spite Katya's nighty Laura hadn't actually disturbed anything more than restless sleep, not with Blaze so close by. Katya and Alexi were aware enough of their friend's feelings not to torture him in that way.

"Lex is in the bedroom passed out. We can talk here."

Laura nodded and looked back over at the sofa.
"Does the lieutenant stay here often?"

Katya looked at Blaze sleeping soundly under the blanket she'd tossed over him.
"More often than I would like. Barracks are noisy sometimes. I was lucky I never had to live there. I stayed with my parents all through basic training. Blaze and Lex both lived in officer's barracks when then moved here at fifteen. It was the only place Saul and Ellen could find for them. Then they enlisted and it became permanent. Lex escaped them when we got married but Blaze still has to suffer through."
"It's kind of you and Alexi to have him."
"Alexi is the one who always gives in. Tonight though, he just fell asleep here. I didn't want to wake him. We came home from Saul and Ellen's pretty late. We all wanted to call Margot together…see if we could get her to come to Alpha. Didn't work, " Katya explained looking fairly dejected.

"Is there something wrong with the Specialist? Sharon seemed concerned and…"
"She's fine," Katya quickly cut Laura off. "She's busy. Margot thinks finding a solution to our problems is her responsibility. She's just working too hard. That's all. The three of us came back here to call her but she wasn't too receptive. We were all pretty beat. Long night. Blaze just passed out. I knew he would. We all fell asleep at my parent's earlier watching some stupid video."

Katya looked at her feet as the memory of her dream flashed in her mind. She knew she'd scared Saul half to death. When she couldnt explain her outburst to him he looked at her with as much anger as she felt within herself.

Katya cleared her throat in attempt to clear the memory along with it.

"A video?" Laura tested.
She knew that it must have been the ballet.
"Sit," Katya said with a wave of her hand ignoring Laura's prompt.
Laura took a chair in the dimly lit kitchen remembering the awkward exchange they'd once had there. She could still feel the tension of the halted conversation. She could see her own hair scattered at her feet and she could hear the snips of the sheers. She could still feel the warmth of Katya's wedding ring in her palm and the whirring wind of the halo dryer. She could still remember fear that overwhelmed her later on when the girl had almost fainted in the other room as they went through her closet. It all seemed like so long ago now but it really wasn't.

Katya joined Laura at the table. She closed her robe a bit tighter flinching as it cinched over her still tender chest.

"Are you okay?" Laura grimaced.
"I'm fine," Katya answered far too defensively.

Laura looked toward the living area to the shelf on the far wall. In the dark she could make out the dull silhouette of Katya's matryoshka doll. She dipped her hand into her sweater's pocket to feel for its tiny inner piece. The little token had become such a comfort to her and even so she often thought that she should return it to Katya. Sometimes she personified it as if it belonged with the rest of its family. Laura gave the matryoshka baby a squeeze. She knew that she would miss it when it was gone. She decided that she would keep it just a while longer.
"So?" Katya asked, regaining Laura's focus. "Why the middle of the night wakeup call?"

Katya had experienced her own trouble falling to sleep once she was settled in her rack. She wasn't embarrassed after the display at her parent's home. Everyone there was used to it. She'd been having nightmares since she was a child. She just hated to worry them and she feared falling back to sleep only to have another.

Later on when the conversation with Margot hadn't gone well it only added to her anxiety. The memory of her earlier nightmare and the sound of the other girl's troubled voice kept her awake.

"The Admiral isn't on call tonight as far as I know," Katya observed. "You left that man's side to come here. What can I do for you?"

Laura looked down at her lap considering how it all sounded.
"I, uh, I had a nightmare," She admitted.

Katya's face froze for a long moment. Suddenly she understood. She nodded solemnly and rose from her place without saying a word.

Laura watched her in the near dark as she went over to a shadowed corner of the room. She heard some glass clinking before her daughter turned and made her way back to the table with her hands full.

Back in her seat Katya slid a small glass toward Laura and kept its mate for herself. In her right hand she held a small bottle of what Laura could tell was the vodka from the Isakoff family's Gamma Station distillery. Now that Bill had a standing order coming to their cabin she had become accustom to the strange label.

"What's this for?"

Katya chuckled under her breath as she leaned over to fill Laura's glass a third of the way.

"I've never personally needed a reason to drink. Adopted or not I am a Tigh after all," She chided with a look of amusement on her face. She hoped it was enough to hide the concern she truly felt. She could tell that Laura had come to her because she knew there would be a sense of understanding between them. She'd left the comfort of Bill's side, deciding that she had someone more empathetic to confide in. Katya knew all too well how Laura felt. Though she pretended to make light of the visit she wouldn't turn her away. When she saw that Laura didn't seem humored by her remark she shrugged. "You seem on edge," She added as she poured her own drink. "And besides, you've told me about your nightmares before. If we're going to talk about them this should help," She said as she raised her glass.
Laura picked hers up and looked inside. She hadn't been a fan of the liquor the first night she'd tried it at the Tigh's dinner party all of those months ago. She was almost appalled at how Katya drank it down all night as if it were smooth as milk. It seemed to aid the girl's hostility and the more she drank the more insults she'd passed. Laura kept away from it after that night. It reminded her of a time when they could hardly stand to look at each other. It reminded her of a time when she had looked into her child's face and seen nothing but a distasteful stranger. Now that Bill kept the booze in their cabin Laura's aversion toward the beverage had only grown. The bottle's sticker and strange writing made her think of the man who was responsible for her daughter's creation and the cold family he'd raised her in for the first few precious years of her life. It gave her yet another reason to resent the tonic. The association was irrational but she almost hated to even look at the stuff.

Laura held the drink in her hand and peered inside at its clear contents. She jumped when Katya reached over and clinked her own glass against it.
"Tvoye zdorovye," The girl offered before readily going to take a swig.
Laura stopped her.
"What's that?"
Katya gave a little smirk and dropped the glass from her lips.
"Uh, well it's like, cheers?" She shrugged as if she'd never been asked the question before. "It means to your health." She gave Laura a look that seemed to ask her permission to go on but Laura was still unsure. "You're going to make me drink alone?" Katya teased. She raised a brow before taking hers down in one smooth, almost defiant swig and placing the glass back down on the table. She watched Laura's hesitance with some coy mirth on her lips as if she were daring her. " As Alexi likes to say, this will burn the away the worry," She offered in a final attempt.
She was surprised when the doubt seemed to fade on the other woman's face. Laura instead looked her right in the eyes with intent.
"You know, Katya I hope that you and I won't always need some form of inebriation between us in order to have a civil conversation," She said rather sternly.

Katya paused in surprise then gave a light chuckle in response. She supposed Laura had a point. The last time they were together they were as high as the heavens. She was a little surprised at how direct Laura was but it actually humored her. She rather liked when Laura showed hints of the fire and ice that Saul had always claimed ran through her veins. Katya had seen it well enough during their first few encounters but once Laura found out who she was everything had changed. She suddenly didn't know how to act in Katya's presence. The discomfort between them was always palpable. Katya could sense the other woman wasn't comfortable with her. Saul had always said that Laura Roslin stared death in the eyes without fear but Katya could tell from the very first day they had faced one another as mother and daughter that Laura feared her or at least the idea of her. It was strange for Katya to see that the prospect of her own existence was somehow more frightening to Laura than death.

Now when they spoke Katya found an odd reassurance in the times Laura dared to be so brazen. It meant she wasn't quite as afraid anymore.
"I'd like the same," Katya admitted thumbing toward the bottle, "But 0300 after a nightmare is not the time to start," She posed, discreetly referring to both Laura's dream and her own.

Laura tilted her head in consideration. For a moment she wondered if Katya had really been sleeping before she messaged her. She'd answered so quickly.
"Tvoye zdorovye," Katya repeated with a look of expectation.
This time after a brief hesitation Laura gave a little nod and then kicked her shot back quickly. She winced as it burned on the way down. Katya seemed to find it quite humors.

"That's better," The girl told her.
Laura licked her lips gathering a bit more of the sting on her tongue. She looked up to find her daughter smiling. She looked much softer in the low amber light. She looked younger. Laura thought of her face, smiling as she danced in the video Ellen had sent. The Katya that Laura knew didn't smile much. Not sincerely at least. She smiled through quips and little jokes but it was always fleeting and left Laura wanting more. It occurred to her that perhaps that time in her child's life had passed. She considered that her daughter might never smile as much as she had in the recordings again. Laura wondered if Ellen had thought the same earlier as she watched with Katya by her side.
"Katya before either one of us says anything else there is something I feel like I need to say to you."

Katya frowned and the look on her face made Laura hope that her reluctant drink would kick in quickly. She hadn't planned on bringing it up but now that she and Katya were alone for the first time since their impromptu smoke she felt it necessary.
"What is it?"

Katya wasn't sure if she wanted to hear whatever it was that Laura had to say. For a moment she remembered their embrace in Med Ward. She'd done it because she felt like it was right, because Laura needed it and in some way she'd needed it too. She'd thought of it often since then. She just didn't want to talk about it.
"Last week before the ambush…" Laura started. She fumbled and sighed deciding to get right to the point. "I just want to apologize."
"Apologize."
Katya's echoing was flat and stolid. She should have known better than to believe that Laura would bring up the emotional encounter.
"About New Caprica," Laura clarified as she ran her hand through her night tousled hair."About Saul and Ellen. I am so sorry that happened. I truly didn't know…"
"Oh please," Katya scoffed cutting her off. Laura's eyes widened at her brusque reaction. "I don't seriously believe that you did that on purpose. And for the record, neither does Ellen," She added, "No matter what she says."
Laura looked down at her empty glass. Saul had told her much the same. Bill too. She just couldn't help the guilt she felt over the whole occurrence. The things Ellen had said to her, shared with her and screamed at her had sunk in over the long week and only intensified her regret.
"At any rate," Laura continued softly, "I'm very sorry for what happened."
Katya shook her head and picked up the bottle of vodka. She poured another shot into her own glass and quickly set it back down.
"Don't apologize for what you told me. There isn't any need," She said before taking the short drink.

When Katya sat the glass down louder than she'd intended the sound made Laura jump a little. She frowned at the sight of another shot taken like thirst quenching water. She surly saw elements of the Tighs in Katya's ease around liquor but the determination in her eyes as she drank only reminded Laura of Bill. The way he drank when he was losing control. He took the booze down as if it were just another task. She knew Katya was nowhere near as desperate and dependant on the substance as her father had been toward the end of his last life. Still, she could see some of Bill's less admirable inclinations had been passed down to spite his absence in his daughter's upbringing.

"It's the middle of the night, Katya," Laura reminded her.
She couldn't help the remark but the girl acted as if she hadn't even heard it.

"What happened between me and my parents," Katya continued, "It wasn't your fault. It had nothing to do with you. Not a damn thing."
Laura nodded. Katya's assurance didn't help to melt her guilt very much. The Tighs little family had been through something awful and she knew that she had a part in it, no matter how unintentional. Hearing that Katya didn't see it that way was a small comfort to spite being a reminder of just how much of an outsider she still was in her daughter's own family.
"On the other hand…"
Laura was surprised to hear Katya's voice harden as she went on. It wasn't any louder, still mindful of the late hour and the sleeping man just feet away but it had grown firm. Whatever she was about to say next, she meant it.
"What happened with you and Ellen," Katya nearly gritted.

Laura's cheeks went flush.
"Katya I…"
"No," The young woman insisted with a stern palm up, "Stop. I don't want to know. I could tell well enough. I had to look at the both of you after all." She snapped, recalling the bruises each woman sported. "I don't need the details. I didn't want to hear it from her. I don't want to hear it from you either but I want you to hear me."
Laura looked into Katya's eyes. The blue was so deep in the dark that they almost looked black. She swallowed hard and nodded for her to go on.
"I told Ellen the same, so don't feel as if you're being blamed. I understand that my reaction inspired whatever sick display went on between the two of you. I get that and I'm sorry, for what little it's worth anyway. But you two are the oldest women in known existence so I'm not taking all of the responsibility." Katya watched Laura squint at the harsh description. "You two can hate each other all you want but don't you dare hurt each other again. Not emotionally, not physically. Not in my name. I can't take that. I can't. So you two just do me a big favor and stay the fuck away from each other if…"
"Katya stop," Laura interjected with some whispered force. It was enough to halt Katya from finishing. "What happened between Ellen I and was…"
"I said I don't want to hear it."
"Fine. What I'm trying to tell you is that I have no intentions of hurting Ellen. I have no desire to."
At Laura's last remark Katya rolled her eyes.
"It's true. I don't." Laura was being honest. She and Ellen had taken so much out on one another the day of the ambush but it was over and done with. What was left between them was far more complex than hate. "There is anger there, Katya. Some of it is very old. Some of it is new to this life," She shrugged. "And I think it might still take some time for it to go away…for the both of us. But what happened last week will never happen again. I can promise you that. I think your that mother will tell you the same," She added purposefully. Laura hadn't been sure of that before tonight but now after Ellen's small gesture she was sure. Neither of them had the desire left to cause the other ill will. "And I see no need for Ellen and I to avoid each other," Laura added. "We can't, Katya…We share far too much."
Katya's mouth turned into a hard line at Laura's insinuation. She reached for the bottle and picked it up once more. This time she filled Laura's glass first before her own. It was hardly a half ounce shot but Laura still frowned at the prospect.
"So what was it this time?" Katya asked dropping the topic at hand like a hot rock. It was late; far too late to get any further into their familial issues. Laura had come for a reason. "Your nightmare," She clarified urging her to answer.

Laura sighed half out of frustration over Katya's avoidance and half at the memory of her dream.
"It was the same," She relented. "The tubs and the pillars. It was just…different this time."
"The same but different?" Katya half mocked as an effort to lighten the mood.

In a knee jerk reaction to the thought of the nightmare Laura cringed and swiftly took the shot. Alexi was right; the burn was a welcome distraction.

"Longer," She corrected, setting her glass down.
Laura could feel her hand trembling and she wondered if Katya could see it. If she did she made no indication.
Katya's focus stayed on Laura's eyes as she watched her with a look of sad expectation. She bit her lip. She understood how difficult it could be to recount something so traumatic, something that haunted you as your body and mind tried desperately to rest. Laura had obviously come to her to share something but she was having trouble getting to the point and Katya had her own precious sleep to catch up on.
"Okay, longer," She attempted to solicit. "You and the Admiral in the tubs with the rest, right?"
Laura pressed her lips together and nodded.
"And Alexi's parents? Baltar and Caprica still disappear?" Katya went on.
Laura gave another weak nod. It was still so strange to hear Gaius Baltar referred to as the boy's father.
"Lex and Blaze still pop up after them?"
Laura gave Katya another look of affirmation.
"Then Margot?"
"Yes."
Katya shrugged prompting Laura to finally take over.
"It was all the same this time, right up until then. Until I saw Margot."
"Okay so then what?"
"Usually after I see her I turn and struggle to Bill's tub. All I can think about is getting to him…but this time…"
"This time what?"
"I told you before, that there were two more empty tubs."
Katya felt her cheeks start to tingle at the thought. She'd forgotten that part.
"Yes."
"They weren't empty this time. This time after Margot emerged so did two others."
"You already saw Sam and D'Anna…Sharon and Helo. Who else would be in a tub?"

Laura paused and swallowed before answering.
"Saul and Ellen."
Katya's face went immediately hot. The mental image made her angry. She'd grown up staring at her biological parents suspended in stasis. The thought of Saul and Ellen in any such state made her ill. She knew that they had both gone through resurrection before, even boxed themselves for centuries on end but she always hated to think of it. With her father dead and Bill and Laura inanimate for most of her life she had to cling on to the vitality that ran through the Tigh's cylon veins.

She tapped her fingers against the half empty vodka bottle and huffed. She wanted to shut down and tune Laura out. She had her own nightly insanity to pick apart. She remembered when it would have been easy for her to turn the woman away. Now if she did it would only become another burden on her conscience. She forced herself to smirk as she looked down at the table.
"I'm still nowhere to be found I take it?"
"No," Laura frowned. "After I saw Saul and Ellen the dream continued on as usual. I struggled to get to Bill. The floors were trembling. There was gunfire not far off and the pillars around us were crumbling. When I got to him I tried to get into his tub as the nearest pillar started to fall but…"
"But you were shoved out of the way," Katya finished for her, "By a force," She added. "I remember. I wasn't that high when you told me." As a child Katya's dream were so often filled by thoughts of what her mother would be like. Irrationally her feelings were bruised knowing that Laura seemed to dream of everyone but her. "You know, it's funny how I'm not included in your little vision. The gang is all there. The tubs are all spoken for."
"Katya you almost sound offended."
The young woman shrugged with forced apathy.
" That day when you and I first felt the effects of the signal…I came to your ward room and we projected. I showed you that beach. The one you claimed you had seen before. You said we were there together. You said you dreamed of me once."
The look on Katya's face was petulant, almost pouting.

Laura shook her head and her eyes narrowed. She couldn't help what left her lips next.
"I dream of you all of the frakking time. All of the time, Katya. If you really want the truth." She could recall every time she'd dreamt daughter since her resurrection. Some dreams filled her with love and joy and others with heartache. Most brought a mix of both. The dream of her daughter as a toddler on the gray-green beach had stuck with her more than most. It had repeated a few times since its first occurrence and then even more so after Katya had mysteriously shown her such a similar looking scene in a projection. That dream was always the same. Laura found Katya there as a stranger. In every instance she would sit and play with the little girl in the soft white sand until the unfamiliar feeling was gone and the tiny child was calling her mommy. It always felt so right and so perfect but in the end it always ended with grief. In a blink Laura would lose her child. Her baby would vanish among the sand and waves. What started out as unsure bliss usually ended in torment and still Laura was grateful for even those dreams because sometimes she felt that it was closest she would ever get to her daughter." I do dream of you Katya…but those dreams aren't the same as this one."
"They're not as important as this one. I get it."
"No, Katya." Laura snapped. "You don't get it. I know exactly what those dreams mean to me and why they're so frakking precious to me. I don't need to analyze those to see what they mean. It's this one that I don't understand."

Katya forced her eyes away from Laura's and let them focus somewhere in a dark corner of the room.
"Katya, the fear this dream brings me…those tubs…the pillars…wherever I am, whatever is happening, I'm glad that you aren't there. I wouldn't want you anywhere near it, dream or not. Trust me you wouldn't want any part of it."

Katya's eyes went back to Laura's and she gave her a challenging stare.
"My husband is there, now my parents, my family," She contested. "Where else would I want to be if they were in trouble?"

Laura was silent for a moment before she leaned back into her chair. She wasn't sure how to answer her.
"It's just a dream," She said unconvincingly, as if on auto pilot.
"Is it, Laura?"
Laura's mouth parted at Katya's sharp query but nothing came out.
"You don't believe that anymore, do you?" Katya accused. The vodka had done its job and weakened any hesitance she had in speaking her mind. "You think they mean something. You think they are some kind of clue, a vision, some kind of hint as to your purpose here. That's why you're here trying to find some kind of validation from me. Isn't it?"

"I've told you before; I learned not to ignore these things ages ago."

Katya bit her tongue hard before she spoke.

"So what's your theory then, profit? Tell me."

Laura swallowed. It had been a lifetime since anyone had called her that, mockingly or not.
"I don't have one," She said with a relenting drop of her shoulders. "I've been reading those network copies of the Quartz Plates and the transcripts from the hybrid aboard the basestar and I just can't figure it out."

Katya looked down and shook her head. The booze was clouding her judgment and she just couldn't think anymore. She was glad. She didn't want to think any longer. She closed her eyes tight for a few seconds feeling them burn behind her lids.

"I don't mind listening Laura," She said after a beat. "But I can't help you. I'm sorry."

Laura nodded. They two were silent at the table for a few moments before Laura found her own courage in the slight buzz she felt.
"Have you...found any meaning to your own dreams?"

Katya's eyes flared at the question.
"Mine have no meaning."

Her answer was curt and forced. Laura could tell an instant wall had gone up. The girl wasn't willing to share, wasn't willing to open up and show her weakness or fear, even to someone who could understand. Laura had never seen so much of herself in her daughter before. It hurt.
"Are you sure about that?" She tested in turn.
Katya sucked in a deep breath and gripped the edge of the table. She then forced a smile and picked up the bottle again. She gave a musing hum as she poured another small shot for herself and then one for Laura.

Across the table Laura's brow arched.
"You gave me the first drink to get me to talk," She posed, "The second to keep me talking. Is this one to get me to shut up?" She musingly accused.

Katya laughed softly and shook her head.
"This one is to help you get back to sleep. The New Year is coming. This is a season of gift giving in our civilization. Consider this a sedative, and my gift to you."

Katya meant it sincerely no matter how caustic it sounded. She lifted her glass expectantly. After a beat Laura sighed and did the same.

When Laura didn't reach to meet Katya's hand in the middle of the table the young woman leaned over and chimed the other glass anyway.
"Sladkikh snov," She said with a wry smile.
Laura tried to smile back.
"What's that one mean?"
Katya's grin brightened in the dark and suddenly Laura couldn't help smiling back just a little.
"It means sweet dreams," She said before she drank.
When Katya was finished she smacked her glass against the tabletop uncaring of the loud noise that it made. Somewhere off in the dark Blazer snorted in his sleep and tossed on the cushions of the sofa. Katya stood from her chair which indicated to Laura that it was time for her to do the same.

Laura quickly took her drink down in a single forced gulp. Unfortunately Katya was right. She would need the help to fall back to sleep. She rose from her seat as the liquor burned its way down her chest. Katya moved to the door and Laura followed. She was ready to leave. She wasn't sure what she thought she would gain by coming. Perhaps she'd gained nothing but she didn't regret it. She didn't regret a moment with her child anymore.

Katya pulled the hatch open. She was kicking Laura out in the most polite way she could but somehow she was sure that Roslin wasn't taking any offence.
"I hope you sleep better, Laura," She offered as the women met Vladi in the hall.

Laura smiled sadly and nodded.
"You too," She offered, "Thank you for listening…and for the drinks, I suppose."

"Yes, Ma'am."
Laura started to turn away but she stopped herself. The sergeant's words about the liquor ran through her mind again. She knew the alcohol hadn't really burned away any fear or worry but it had made it much easier to speak candidly. She had something to tell her daughter and she was just buzzed enough to do it.
"Katya?"
"Hm?"
"I just…I feel like I need to say that…I know how hard it can be," She paused and swallowed down the last of her hesitance. "But for your own sake and maybe the sake of everyone please…don't ignore what's happening to you."
The curve of Katya's lips faltered at Laura's words and her fist clenched so tightly at her sides that she could feel her nails digging into the flesh of her palms. It wasn't because she was angry. It was because she wanted so badly to ignore it all. She so badly wished to forget. Somehow the sound of Laura's concerned warning, comprised of compassion and urgent reason rang eerily true and it scared Katya deeply.

She looked to the metallic floor of the station's halls.

"Do you know how to swim, Laura?"
A puzzled look grew on Laura's face.
"Swim?"
"In water," Katya added.
The strange and unnecessary clarification made Laura's brow furrow even more.
"I uh…yes. Why do you ask?"
"Ellen says that when we get down to Earth she's going to take me to the beach. Our beach. One like she used to project for me…but I don't know how to swim. We have pools here, on the civilian side. They're used for exercise mostly. Before my father died I had a nanny who would bring me sometimes but she didn't know how to swim either so she just let me splash around by the steps where it was shallow. If I go to the beach on Earth I won't even know how to swim."

Katya seemed overtired and more than a little under the influence of the several nightcaps she'd taken down. Laura didn't know how to respond to the odd rambling so she didn't. She longed to give the girl another comforting hug like they'd shared in the ward but she bring herself to do that either. Laura gave her a little nod hoping that she would return to her bed and fall fast asleep.
"Goodnight, Katya."

Regaining her composure Katya looked up at Laura reinforced her smile.
"Porshai, mamochka."
"What's that?" Laura asked; her own eyes growing heavy from the booze and lack of rest.

Katya's only answer was a chuckle under her breath and a wave goodbye.
"Porshai, Vladi," She added as she turned to close the hatch. "Home safe."
The door to the cabin closed behind her and Laura walked home at the faithful centurion's side.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR C

MED WARD

YEAR: 2315

"You can scoot back and sit up, Kat." Tawny announced as she rolled her stool back from the exam table. "Everything looks good. Pretty much back to normal. "
"Great," Katya answered in a cool flat tone, "Can I get dressed?"

Tawny ignored her rude tone and lack of patience.
"How is the soreness in your breasts?" She asked as she took her gloves off and tossed them into a nearby trashcan.
Katya rolled her eyes and shrugged.
"The same. I'm getting used to it."
"Good. Do you think you'll need more of that tea from my aunt?"
"No. Everything seems to be working on its own now."

"What about the machine?"
"It hurts," Katya answered sharply. "I hate it."

Its use had become routine; sometimes before bed, sometimes in the lab and Katya struggled through every moment.
"But it does the job?"
"Yes."
"That's good. I know it's uncomfortable but keep it up. You'll be thankful that you did. Just remember; if you're drinking or smoking you won't be able to use…"
"I know."

"The lab will test it and they'll just toss it out. It'll be a waste."
"I know, Tawny."

"If you know then why are you hung over?" The doctor accused.

Katya sighed and dropped her knees together. She hadn't expected her post nightmare outburst at the Tigh's or Laura's midnight visit. She hadn't expected that she'd been so in need of a drink in the middle of the night.
"You said it was fine once in a while."
"It is but it just seems like an awful lot of work and discomfort to go through just to throw it out. Is a buzz really worth it?" Tawny challenged.

"Would you let me worry about that? I have time to make up for it. You said it yourself. It's not stopping anytime soon so what's the big deal?"
"You're right," Tawny relented.
"Can I go?"
"Not just yet."
"Why?"

The doctor rolled huffed at the persistent irritation in the captain's voice.
"Cause I want to talk to you."
"You just said that I'm fine."
"You are. You're doing great but…you're mad at me."
"Give me my fucking pants, Tawny," Katya demanded holding out her hand expectantly.
Tawny looked over to the chair where they were folded in a pile.

"No. And I think those are mine by the way," She chastised looking back at Katya's vexed expression.

Katya sighed. Just like Ellen, Tawny had been trying to talk to her about Sam all week. She'd avoided the conversation easily enough. Unless they were together to discuss medical issues or lab updates Katya stayed clear of the doctor. Now Tawny had her quite literally with her pants down. She didn't appreciate it.
"I don't have time for this, Tawny," Katya said, the ire in her voice growing. "I want to get down to the lab."
Tawny crossed her arms in defiance. Usually that excuse would have worked. She understood how precious the time was that Katya and Alexi got to spend down there. Fortunately today she knew better.
"The lab is closed to visitors for the next three hours for maintenance and testing analysis," She stated firmly. "Emergency situations only. I'm sure you were sent that alert."
"Fine," Katya shrugged. "I have other things to do. I have an LSO shift tonight. Just give me my clothes."
Tawny's eyes narrowed. Sam's accusations from the night before echoed in her mind and her face hardened. She wasn't afraid of this girl. Unlike most she wasn't intimidated by her nor was she swayed by her childish tantrums. Most times when she looked at her she still saw the tiny little tagalong she'd once been. She wasn't going to let Katya win this one. It wasn't in her best interest.
"Alright, how about this, Kat? You can fight me for the stupid pants, you can walk out of here half naked oryou can sit with me for a minute like an adult and talk."
"It's funny how you think I won't fight you," Katya bit.
Tawny smiled slyly.
"It's funny how you forget I'm the one who taught you how to throw a punch." They stared one another down for a useless moment before Tawny relented and sighed. "Please, Kat just listen to me?"

"Fine. I'm listening," Katya snapped. "Lecture me. Tell me all of the reasons why I shouldn't be mad at you. Tell me why I'm making my life harder for myself and everyone else. Go ahead and do it but do it quick."
Tawny stood from her stool, took a step back from the exam table and nodded. She licked at her lips trying to decide how to start.
"I'm sorry that this has upset you so much. I knew that bringing Sam here would make things more stressful for you at least at first but…"
"But you did it anyway," Katya snidely finished for her.
"Yes. Yes, Katya. I did," Tawny answered with more than a little exasperation. "I did it because it was the right thing to do!" She stopped and forced herself to lower her voice, afraid of alarming anyone beyond the curtain. "I did it because we are trying to accomplish something here and because if we don't figure out a way to do that soon we're not going to be around very much longer." Katya looked away but Tawny continued. She knew she was listening to spite her lack of eye contact. "I love healing people but, Katya I don't want to have to struggle to treat a dozen dying pilots at once every time a station alarm goes off. I don't want to confirm ten DOAs on top of that."
Tawny couldn't remember losing her mother but every time a pilot died under her care it was like she could feel it happening.
"It's war, Tawny," Katya shrugged. "You're a military doctor. People die."
"I want a chance to live at least part of my life without my people being at war! I want that for you, for all of us. I know you want that too."

Katya's eyes snapped back to the doctor.
"And how is bringing Sam Anders to Alpha going to make that happen?" She bit.
Tawny huffed and palmed her forehead before answering.
"I don't know, Katya. I don't know if it will or if it won't. I just know that he understands something that we don't. I know that you had an awful experience during his resurrection but really he does seem to be a good guy underneath all of his troubles."

Katya raised a wicked brow and paused.

"Oh," She remarked with a spiteful smirk. I get it now. You're fucking him," She prodded, "Is that it?"

Tawny's eyes went wide and her face went red. Her anger and frustration surged and just she couldn't be the bigger person or the responsible role model this time.

"Kat for once in your life would you stop being such a selfish little bitch?"

When Katya saw Tawny's eyes start to water she let her shoulders sink, slightly embarrassed that she'd actually hurt the other woman's feelings.
"Tawny, I'm sorry," She said softly. "I didn't mean…"
"Katya, getting all of these people together was the next step in figuring everything out. Ellen knew that. I just sped the process up as far as Sam was concerned. And I know that you don't want to hear this…but I brought him back for you."
"Me? I want nothing to do with that man."

"Why, Kat? Look I know you. I've known you since the day you were born. You're not afraid of that man because he grabbed your arm and gave you a fucking bruise. You're scared of something else. I don't know what it is but I know it's there."
Katya's teeth gritted and she leaned toward Tawny to spite her awkward placement on the exam table.
"You don't know anything about it."
Tawny met her challenge and went right back at her.
"I know that your whole life you've felt like you were a mistake, like you shouldn't be here. You've tortured yourself with the knowledge that your mother's body was violated to give you life. In your darkest moments you've asked me why the universe would allow you to be." Tawny eased off when she saw pain flash in Katya's eyes. "I've never had an answer for you other than the fact that I loved you and that I've always been glad you were here. I still have no other answer for you, but Kat, I think maybe…maybe Sam can tell you more."
Katya grimaced.
"What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Tell me more about what?"

"I don't know. I really don't. I've tried to listen to him, to what he's willing to share with me. I just have a feeling that if you gave him a chance and spoke to him that maybe you would understand better than I ever could."
"Tawny why…"
"Katya he thinks that he knows you." Tawny finally stated. There were a few muted moments between them and soon Katya looked more frightened than angry. "I don't want to say anymore because you're right; I don't know what I'm talking about but please listen to me Kat? You know that I love you and that I would never want to hurt you on purpose. I know that you've been going through something. Something besides the obvious, something you aren't talking about, something you won't share with any of us. Maybe you're right not to tell us. Maybe it isn't ours to know. We probably can't help or even begin to understand but I have a feeling that maybe Sam Anders can. Just give him a chance…give yourself the chance to…"
Before Tawny could finish her cuff buzzed. With a defeated sigh she looked down to see she had an urgent message. She was done for now anyway. She didn't know what more she could say to convince Katya. The alert on her cuff was from the civilian medical center. She frowned before opening it. When she did her lips parted as she read.

Katya rubbed at her eyes as Tawny became distracted by whatever was on her cuff. She couldn't take hearing about Anders anymore. Everything Tawny was telling her was making her sick. It was too hard block it all out when it was being shoved in her face like that. At least she could shut Ellen up. Tawny was relentless and the things she was saying gave Katya the chills. Anders knew her? How could he know her? Katya looked up from her lap after a moment more of silence. She saw Tawny still veraciously reading. The look on her face was strange.

"What? What is it?" She asked trying to get her friend's attention.
Tawny didn't look up. She swallowed hard before answering.
"It's the lab…It's from Dr. Diaz."
The blood ran from Katya's face and she immediately felt her stomach flip.
"What happened? Something's wrong?"
Tawny's mouth opened but she hesitated to speak before she'd finished the entire message from her colleague.
"Katya they have the results back. Both sets of scans, both sets of lab work ups, everything."

Katya's jaw went slack. For a moment she couldn't answer.
"Everything?" She finally parroted softly.
"Yeah…Katya…" Tawny's face finally broke into a broad grin, "Everything's fine."
"Are you…"
"Dr. Diaz sent me the note herself," Tawny explained excitedly cutting her off. She continued to rescan the message as she spoke. "She thought it would be best if I gave you and Lex the news. She says that she went over both sets of results twice. She linked me to the report and said that I'm welcome to look it over but she sees no cause for concern."
Katya's eyes quickly watered and her voice came out as nothing but a weak whisper.
"Both?"
"We still have the standard caution of regular cases and the issues that we knew about to begin with but as far as all the rest; all the things we were so worried about…" She finally looked up at Katya with joy and tears in her eyes and nodded. "Everything is good, Kat."
Katya's mouth hung open in stunned silence as her own tears started to run. Tawny quickly rushed to embrace her as they both expressed unexpected relief. All prior tension was forgotten in the moment. When the doctor felt Katya truly start to cry against her lab coat she hugged her tighter. They had been waiting for weeks. The constant feeling of fear and worry had started to feel almost normal.
"It's okay, Kat. Everything is good. It's all fine," Tawny repeated in a calming tone.

Katya gulped hard and leaned back suddenly overcome with a new rush of adrenaline.

"I need to find Alexi. I want to get down there."

Tawny stepped back and nodded in a hurry.

"Go. Go, sweetie," She said as she leaned to grab Katya's pile of clothes.
"Here get dressed. Keep the pants," She teased with a little laugh.
Katya grabbed them and smiled through a steady stream of tears.
"Tawny, I don't know how I'm ever going to thank you for everything."
The doctor shook her head. There wasn't any need for thanks. She'd done her job as a physician and a member of her family.
"Don't. Don't thank me. I'm so happy for you, Kat. I wanted this for you so much. I'm just so thankful for the way things have turned out."
"They wouldn't have turned out this way if it wasn't for you," Katya told her as she reached out for her hand. "I love you, Tawny."

The sincerity and devotion in Katya's voice was the reason Tawny had always been able to put up with her less than gracious moments. It was why she cared so deeply for her, why she considered Katya to be her sister for better or worse.
"I love you too, Kat." Tawny squeezed Katya's hand before helping her to scoot off of the table. "There's still a long way to go but this changes everything."
Katya nodded, hurrying into her underwear and pants with almost frantic determination.
"I have to tell Lex," She said as another rush of emotions flooded through her. She could feel her blood pounding in her ears and her heart beating gladly in her chest. Most of all she could feel one of the many weights that she carried on her shoulders being lifted. "Maybe I should have him meet me down there."
Tawny nodded in eager agreement before suddenly remembering the laboratory hours.
"Oh, shit. Kat I forgot, the lab is still closed. Diaz may be in there working with her staff but it's closed to visitors for a little longer," She regrettably reminded while checking her cuff for the staff schedule. "You two can go this evening but they probably won't let you in now."
"Damn it. I have a shift tonight."
"It's okay. Just take a breath and let it sink in," Tawny suggested in a low and calming tone. "Go tell Lex. I'll get you both off duty tonight somehow. I promise. Doctor's notes work wonders. Kaplan can't question me and besides, you know he'll understand. He's going to be so happy for you. Go home and celebrate if you want. After today's exam I'm giving you and Lex the official green light. Though I doubt you've been listening to me anyway," She added with a wink and a roll of her eyes. "The lab will be open in a few hours and then you can go together. Call me when you do head over. I'm anxious to check in myself."
Katya nodded and fastened her belt.
"I will, Tawny," She promised as she gave the woman another tight hug.
She turned to make her way out of the curtain. She was almost through when Tawny called for her again.
"Kat?"

"Yeah?" She said looking back and letting the curtain swing closed again.

Tawny bit her lip.
"Just…I know that you're excited but don't forget what we talked about. This is amazing news but you know that none of it will matter if our civilization can't find a way out of this. We brought these people back from the dead to help us but I think we need to start helping them before that can happen. I know that you want a peaceful future for your family. Take a step in the right direction."

Tawny couldn't asses the look on Katya's face as she stared back at her. Before she could say anything else Katya had turned on her heels and left the exam room.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 172B: ASSIGNMENT; BIERS

YEAR: 2315

"Well there's a face I thought I'd left behind millennia ago."

D'Anna stood in the doorframe of her cabin, arms crossed as she looked over Laura Roslin head to toe.
"Is this a bad time, D'Anna?"

Laura's attempt at manners caused D'Anna to snicker.
"A bad time for what? I just exist here now. Did you think I had plans?"

Rude and curt as D'Anna might be Laura could understand the other woman's frustrations. Before she'd found a way to keep busy aboard Alpha she often felt like she was merely existing as well.

"I was hoping that we could talk."

D'Anna's eyes grew in size as did her less than genuine smile.
"You know the last time you and I had a one on one I don't remember it going very well."

The memory of their basestar meeting wasn't a fond one for either of them.
"D'Anna, please?" Laura appealed humbly." Ellen went through all of the trouble to get us on to one station. I really don't think we should be isolating ourselves."

D'Anna heard the former president just fine but her attentions were now detracted by the sight over Roslin's shoulder. Behind her stood a centurion; one D'Anna found quite intriguing. As his eye swept back and forth she could feel a strong protective sense emanating from the machine. The odd thing was, it wasn't toward her, it was toward Laura.

"What the hell is this?" She asked nodding in Vladi's direction.
"Oh," Laura said as if she'd forgotten the hulking being was there. "This is part of my security detail. He um…" She faltered for a moment. Laura almost stopped herself but it occurred to her that continuing would be in her benefit to spite the bit pride she might lose. "When he heard I was coming to see you he wanted to bring you something," Laura explained sheepishly.
Utter amusement grew over D'Anna's features. Not just over the strangely empathic cylon but over the way Roslin seemed to speak of it.
"You don't say?" D'Anna mockingly marveled.
Laura turned to Vladi as if to tell him it was alright. He quickly extended his arm and opened his spindly fist to reveal a ripe red beta apple.
D'Anna's jaw nearly dropped. After a moment of surprise she took the fruit. She silently thanked the machine wondering if Roslin could sense their communication. Ellen had mentioned something about Laura's DNA being altered because of Hera. It made sense but to actually see and feel Roslin's connection with what she once called a toaster was both astonishing and hilarious to D'Anna.
"I used to have to ask these things to bring me my lunch," She mused.
"Vladi likes to give gifts," Laura added in a low voice.

"It has a name?"

D'Anna snorted and shook her head at scene.
"May I please come in, D'Anna?" Laura asked again.
Finally the cylon woman nodded.
"C'mon," She said as she palmed the apple and turned back into the cabin. "But leave your metal frakking dog outside."

Once inside the cabin D'Anna set aside Vladi's apple and turned to face Laura again.

"You look different," She observed. "Healthy. Last time I saw you, you had one sensible pump in the grave."

Laura nodded.

"Well sit then I suppose," D'anna said, gesturing to the sofa.
As Laura took her seat on the couch D'Anna casually draped herself over the arm of a nearby chair. She couldn't help observing the strange cylon woman. D'Anna had always been a bit odd. Her model had been hard to pin down especially when her motives seemed to become muddled and drifted from the others. There was a reason her own kind had found it fit to box her line but Laura was sure that she was picking up on more than just the oddness of a past life. D'Anna had an obvious finesse about her; even a sense of humor but something about it was unsettling. She didn't seem to have the social skills that the others had or perhaps, Laura considered, she just didn't care to have them. There was something so different about her when compared to Ellen or Sharon. Laura couldn't tell if D'Anna wasn't offering her a drink out of old spite or a lack of humanity. Her demeanor almost echoed the mechanical nature of her centurion relatives, though Laura mused that even Vladi would have offered her something to make her feel welcome.
"So what is it that you want to talk about?" D'Anna said, clasping her hands together. "I should tell you that if you're looking to me for the answer as to why we're all here I don't have it. I've told Ellen, the Colonel and my sister."

Laura squinted and tilted her head in thought.
"You still call Sharon your sister," She observed.

"That's what she is. Her being a traitor didn't change that. Neither did more than 200,000 years," D'Anna stated with a shrug. "So how can I help you?"
"I'm hoping that we might be able to help each other."

D'Anna shook her head and laughed.
"I believe those words sound damn familiar coming from you."
"That's not what I meant," Laura firmly defended. She was aware of her lousy track record with keeping her word in D'Anna's eyes. No sooner had the Three been unboxed did Laura then renege on their agreed to terms aboard the cylon ship. Lucky for D'Anna she had collateral back then. "It's not like that," Laura offered in a softer tone. "Not this time. Now we're both on the same side. Now there is no motivation for selfish agendas. We're both in the same boat."
"I just told you; I haven't the foggiest idea of what we're to do next," D'Anna groused.

Laura felt herself losing her patience but she steeled her composure. D'Anna had been brought back just like she had. She'd been confronted with the very same reality. She deserved some tolerance.
"That isn't why I came," Laura explained. "I mean part of it is. I do want us to figure this out. I really think that we should all be spending some measure of time together. I just…there is something else I've wanted to ask you since your resurrection."

D'Anna's interested was reluctantly peeked.
"And that is?"
"About Margot," Laura answered. "About your daughter."

D'Anna leaned back in her chair. Her lips lost their ever antagonistic curve and her eyes went to her lap. Laura observed the first hint of true humanity in the woman since she'd opened the door and she went for it.
"I was there D'Anna. I saw your reaction when you first laid eyes on her. You knew who she was. Didn't you?"
D'Anna looked back at Laura for a long silent moment.
"You've got one too, I hear," She said with her smirk perking up again, though it lacked its usual impish vigor. "You and that old goat," She teased. "I hear she's newly married to the son of Gaius Baltar…and a Six to top it off," D'Anna taunted with a raised brow and an amused expression. "I've seen him. He stood guard a few days ago just outside my door. Strapping young thing. He's his mother's son, that's for sure. Your daughter marrying a half cylon; the son of a man you despised and the woman who essentially destroyed your entire home civilization. It must kill you."

Though D'Anna seemed to lack some key aspects of human nature and emotion she sure knew how to manipulate it in others. Laura tried not to react to her obvious goading.

"The sergeant is his own person. I try not to judge him on his parentage."
"Your daughter doesn't favor you very strongly," D'Anna keenly observed, "Or the Admiral for that matter. Not obviously, at least. I've only seen images of her. I can tell well enough now that I know who she belongs to but I wouldn't have guessed."

Laura gave her a slight nod.
"Margot on the other hand…" Laura said tested.

The mention of the girls name seemed to make D'Anna's lips quiver ever so slightly.
"Unlike the Sergeant it must be hard not to judge her when all you see is my face," She posed.

Laura shook her head.
"Not as hard as you might think. Surprisingly she's a very pleasant young officer."

D'Anna frowned as if it pained her to hear it.
"What is it that you want from me?"

Laura scooted forward on the cushion and did her best to regain the other woman's focus.
"D'Anna I just want to know what you remember from before you were brought here. I want to know what you remember from the other side. I can't remember where we were taken from. I remember feelings. I remember the peace and the comfort but everything else faded so quickly. I sometimes wonder if I knew about my daughter before resurrecting. Sometimes I feel like I may have. Did you know about Margot?"

D'Anna shook her head.

"I can't tell you that."
"Why not?"
"Because I don't know."

Laura didn't want to believe her. She was so sure that D'Anna would have some insight for her. Perhaps some little notion of where they'd been and if they'd watched over their children from birth. Though Laura knew it might not bring back her own memories it would have consoled her, knowing in some way she'd watched Katya grow up.

"D'Anna, please. Helo and Sharon heard you at the download. You told Margot that you had been waiting to meet her for a long time. How could that be your first reaction to her if you didn't have some kind of previous knowledge of her existence?"

"Look, I can't explain it any better than you can," D'Anna snapped. "I remember saying that to her. It's true but I didn't know who or what she was. I just said it because I felt it. I felt that somehow I'd been waiting for her and that she'd been waiting for me. You said it yourself; it all faded so quickly. I know one thing about before. I existed where God exists…and now I'm here."

Laura sighed and licked her lips.
"Do you believe that you knew of her before? Maybe we just couldn't take our memories with us into this existence."

D'Anna shrugged at the conjecture.

"I don't think it much matters. I'm here now."

Laura resigned herself to the fact that D'Anna just didn't know. She looked down at her lap. The other woman deserved her sympathy anyway.
"I know what a shock it must have been to learn how she was created," She offered.
"Maybe to you," D'Anna scoffed. "Her conception and creation was far more natural than anything I lived with before."

Laura almost cringed at the thought.

"Still, D'Anna, you can't be comfortable with what was done to you. You do understand what was done to you, don't you?"

D'Anna shot out of her seat at Laura's question.

"I understand that I was unwillingly impregnated by the cloned body of one of my own creators," She shot. "How's that for reality? The father of my child is a man who helped to make me. A man who; by all accounts his out of his mind right now and refuses to acknowledge our child as his daughter. Your child was fathered by the man you loved. Perhaps it's you who doesn't understand what was done."

Laura felt herself go pale at the reality of what D'Anna had just laid out. It didn't make her own situation any more bearable. It just made her stomach turn and her heart go out to the peculiar woman in front of her.

"None of it was fair, D'Anna," Laura said in a small voice.

D'Anna started to pace in front of her seat.
"I can be angry and disgusted and take the more primitive approach or I can think of the pure cylon child that was made, the daughter this body conceived with one of the Final Five and I can find peace in her exisitance. The depravity of how she came to be, of what that cold woman; Le Blanc did to me…well…I'll blame that on the human influence within this strange new race our kinds joined to create."
"That's funny," Laura challenged. "I was about to say the opposite."

D'Anna stopped her treading and gave a bitter smirk.

"Well perhaps there's unfortunate truth in both of our theories." She was surprised when Laura actually nodded in concession. "Do you know that our children are seen as scientific abominations here in this world?"

"Yes."

"Failed projects meant to replace us, unfortunate mistakes. That's how these people see our children. They might pretend to accept them as their own, take advantage of their loyalty and service but all four are seen as aberrations. That's the last thing I see when I look at my daughter." D'Anna's words now had passion behind them. Her cold robotic nature was forgotten as she spoke of her newly found offspring. "I can sense something in her. These children aren't mistakes. They're gifts. Angels sent from God to meet us here."

The intensity of D'Anna's description made Laura flinch. She hadn't expected it and she didn't know how to take it. It had echoes of grandeur and Laura couldn't tell if D'Anna's theory was based on faith, hope or her own inflated sense of importance. She knew Saul's theory of how the Three was different; how she had visions, how she saw things the rest didn't. Laura's first reaction was to scoff at it, until she realized that her own people had described her in much the same way once upon a time.
"What makes you say that?"

D'Anna shrugged and smiled.
"Don't you feel that your daughter is a gift?"

Laura immediately lost her words. She didn't know what to say. All she knew was that she felt awful for not agreeing right away. She swallowed down her guilt and went on.
"Did Margot say something to make you feel like she was…special in some way?"

D'Anna looked puzzled at the question and suddenly Laura felt an old but familiar rush of embarrassment. She'd done this once before to another mother. She'd seen the same look of bewilderment in Caprica's eyes back in the halls of Galactica. She'd asked the Six if she felt that her unborn son was important. The way the expectant mother had looked at her made her feel more foolish than she ever had before. The look the cylon women had given Laura was a look of disturbance mixed with pity for her lack of understanding. Laura had immediately apologized to Caprica Six though she doubted it had done much good. For the short time that she lived after that she wished she could have taken the question back.
"She didn't have to say anything," D'Anna insisted. She took her seat again and rested her elbows on her knees. "Besides she's not saying much to me at all."

The sound in her voice made Laura pause. She and Bill had been suspicious as to what happened during the Three's stay with her Margot aboard the cylon ship.
"What happened on the basestar, D'Anna?"

D'Anna looked away.
"The girl hates me," She admitted in a steady tone as if she was deliberately trying to hide her emotion. It wasn't working. Laura could sense it anyway. "She doesn't want to see me. There isn't much more to it."

"D'Anna I…"

"You know when I understood fully who Margot was it made it so much easier to know that I had left paradise," D'Anna recalled, "Now I can't even see her face."

Laura couldn't help that her heart began to ache for the woman she faced.

"D'Anna I'm sure that I'm the last person you would ever consider taking advice from but I have to tell you not to give up on that girl. Not ever. Margot is yours. Katya is a complicated young woman. I'm not sure that I'll ever understand her…In my last life I never wanted to be a mother but now that I met Katya in this life I want to be her mother. I know now that I'd rather live in this world that is full of pain and unrest than to know another life she didn't exist in. I'd rather be here struggling to love my child than go back to paradise without her. Does that make sense?"

Laura waited half hoping she would get some kind of response and half hoping D'Anna wouldn't have a reply at all.
"Oddly," D'Anna said with a crook of her head, "Yes."

Laura looked down and nodded quietly.
"That's all I wanted to say."

They sat for a quiet moment until Laura could feel D'Anna's eyes on her.
"Ellen speaks of your daughter as if she's her own."
"I know that."
"She and the Colonel."
"Yes."
"They gave your daughter a loving home. Two parents. They looked after those hafling boys too at least to some degree," D'Anna added, "But they left my child to be raised by a stranger, by someone who couldn't give her a fraction of what they could."

There was some resentment in D'Anna's voice now and for some reason Laura felt the need to come to the couple's defense.
"Katya and the boys were orphaned. Margot has an adoptive mother who is still alive and well. I won't pretend to like Micelle Le Blanc but she seems to have raised a fine young woman. Ellen must have seen that Margot was in capable hands. Taking her would have meant tearing her from the only mother and the only home she ever knew."
"She would have been better off with them," D'Anna argued.
Laura rubbed her forehead and let out a long breath.

"Have you met my daughter, D'Anna?"

The other woman shook her head.
For a moment Laura almost let out an acerbic laugh. Margot was so polite, sweet and usually mild mannered from what she knew of her. Laura musingly wondered if actually meeting Katya would change D'Anna's tune about the Tigh's being the better option. Saul's temper and Ellen's brashness had rubbed off on the girl they raised in a big way. For a moment she thought seeing that might help D'Anna appreciate Margot's upbringing. Rationally she had a feeling that it wouldn't. D'Anna had obviously already heard the way Ellen spoke of their adoptive child. That was all it took to understand how much Katya was loved and that was all D'Anna wanted for her own daughter. Laura could understand that.
"D'Anna, Ellen loves all four of them. You don't have any reason to believe me but I'm certain that once she knew of their existence no harm ever came to them. Not if she could help it. The same goes for Saul."

D'Anna didn't have much of a reaction but she didn't challenge Laura's theory any further.
"Ellen tells me that our daughters are friends."
"Yes. They are. Very good friends."

"Don't you find that funny?"
"I suppose considering the past it should seem unlikely. It doesn't seem as strange once you see the girls together. You'll see what I mean one day," Laura added. When D'Anna shrugged her shoulders Laura frowned. "You want to…don't you, D'Anna? To see your daughter live out as much of her life as she can? These kids are so young. They've only just started to learn who they are. They deserve to live a life in peace without the constant fear of death that you and I lived with. Please don't tell me that you're withholding anything just so that this ends faster. Please don't tell me that you would sabotage another civilization to get back to the other side. This isn't for us."

D'Anna rested her chin on her hand.
"You know at one point after leaving Delta I considered that this situation was hopeless. I thought that perhaps God had sent us here to see the end of this civilization, to retrieve our stolen children and to take them back to paradise with us. Maybe that is the case…but when I look at Margot I feel that there is more to be done before that happens. I think she and her counterparts have just as much purpose as we do. God put them here. They were not born in vain. I don't have to be some kind of frakking oracle to know that."

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

Katya ran out of Med Ward without looking where she was going. People ducked out of her way as she jogged while sending a hurried message to her husband on her cuff. She couldn't tell him over a message. She wanted to see his face. She wanted to experience the relief and happiness with him. Her message told him that he needed to get home quickly so they could talk. She was sure he was alarmed but she wanted him to get there as fast as he could. His return reply promised he would get his shift covered and be there at the cabin no time. She almost slammed into a door while reading it.

Katya jogged the whole way. She didn't want Alexi waiting if he happened to beat her home. She didn't want to waste a single moment. At some point she realized that she was running with a smile. When she turned into the B corridor a familiar face greeted her from a few yards down the hall.
Bill grinned as he saw the young woman jogging toward him. They hadn't seen much of one another over the past week. With his shifts being cut after the ambush he missed the time they spent working in the control room together. He hoped that his scheduled shift tonight meant Kaplan was comfortable with him returning to duty. With Saul injured Bill figured they could use the extra authoritative figure. When he was in the control room he felt more at home. Sometimes he even felt like he was back on Galactica. In his uniform he could almost see himself with the halls of his own ship. Bill smiled at the captain as she jogged toward him. She smiled back but seemed to be in a hurry. He decided not to stop her.
"What do ya hear?" Bill called out as she jogged closer.
"Nothing but the rain," She answered with a wry grin and a wink.
"Then grab your gun and brin…"
Bill trailed off as the words suddenly registered. He grimaced in mild confusion before refocusing on the captain who had slowed her pace and developed quite a distraught demeanor. Her face was pale and her eyes wide.
Katya didn't know what she'd just said or why she'd said it. It had just come out as naturally as anything. She suddenly had a sick and eerie feeling overcome her. A look toward Bill showed he was just as unnerved. She couldn't stop to address whatever the hell had just happened. She wanted to get as far away from it as possible. She felt like she was struggling to run out of a fog. She just wanted to get to Alexi. She picked up her speed and ran straight past Bill. She gave him a look of worried apology over her shoulder and kept going.
Bill stopped in his tracks. He turned and watched as Katya continued her race down the corridor. His ears started to buzz and his head felt fuzzy. He didn't know what to make of what had just occurred. Katya had looked almost frightened and he couldn't tell what it was that he was feeling. When he couldn't see her running anymore he forced himself to shake off the strange moment. Saul came to mind. He must have told her. It made sense. With a deep breath Bill turned and went to report to his shift.
Around the corner Katya felt tears return to her eyes as she ran down the final hallway. This time they weren't tears of relief and joy. They were made from pure confusion and fear. She could feel that her face was red from running and crying. Her cheeks burned against the cool station air as she charged forward. Her vision was bleary and she would have missed the hatch of her own cabin had she not run directly into her husband's solid chest.
Katya yelped in surprise before finally realizing who she'd bumped into. When she did she hugged on to him for dear life.
"Katya," Alexi said in alarm, "Katya, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," She mumbled, into his chest, "Nothing. Nothing."
He gripped her arms and pushed her back so that he could see her face.
"Katya look at me. What's going on? Schtoh sluchilys? What's wrong?"

She shook her head still trying to clear away the memory of Bill's voice, his face, the familiar automatic banter. For a moment the interaction with her father had felt so natural and so common. A moment later it felt alien and ominous. She couldn't explain it to herself. She wouldn't even begin to try to explain it to Alexi. She felt like she was losing her mind.

"Yekaterina!" He said shaking her a bit, "What's going on?"
She had to snap out of it. She had to force herself back into her own space. She was with her husband, in front of their home and now she had something to tell him.

"Nothing is wrong, Alexi. Nothing. I'm just…I'm still in shock. I ran here. I'm not the shape I was a few months ago."
He looked at her skeptically. She'd been getting her strength back just fine. Something was up. A jog around the station shouldn't have winded her to the point of tears.
"Katya, please. In shock? You called me off duty in the middle of a shift. You've been crying. You look like you've just seen death its self. What's wrong, myshka?"
She shook her head and took a deep breath.
"Nothing, malysh. I'm so sorry I scared you. Let's go inside, lubuv moya. I have news to share."
As they entered Alexi couldn't stifle his frustration. He slammed that hatch behind them causing Katya to cringe.
"Kat you better be telling me the truth! I'm so sick of these evasions and vague explanations. I don't know what's going on with you but this has to stop!"
"Damn it! Alexi zatknis'! Zakroi rot! Just stop it and let me speak. I have something to tell you if you would listen!"

The Sergeant bit his tongue and forced his temper down.
"Prastinitye, Katya. Go on. Speak then."
"Look I really didn't mean to worry you but I had to get you down here. I wanted to tell you in person. I guess I got a little excited and overwhelmed. I rushed here and I got emotional on the way."
"Katya…"
"You know I had another follow up with Tawny this morning."
"Dah."
"While I was there she got a message from the lab, from Dr. Diaz." Katya watched Alexi's eyes go wide in alarm. "Alexi, Dr. Diaz told her that everything is fine. The message said that they were finally able to run the last tests. She went over the results for both sets of scans and she said that everything looked perfectly fine. Both of them. It's okay, Lex. Everything is fine."

Katya thought she saw Alexi's bottom lip tremble a bit before he was able to speak.
"They're sure?"
"Yes."
"Absolutely sure?" He tested.
"Yes, Lex," She assured as her smile grew again. "I mean we still have the same concerns and worries as any other case. We aren't out of the woods. There are still the issues we've known of since the start but all of the awful horrible fears we had over the rest…we can let that all go."
Alexi grabbed her suddenly and gave her an almost bruising kiss. When he let her go he shook his head in slight disbelief.

"I don't think I've ever been this happy, myshka."
"Me either," Katya agreed as she leaned in for another hug.

Alexi squeezed her body tightly as he spoke into her ear.
"That night Tawny had you rushed to the civilian ward I'd never been so terrified. Not even during times when I've had bullets flying over my head. I was so afraid. You were so strong but I felt helpless. Later when Tawny took me to the lab for the first time without you…I thought my heart was going to stop. Then waiting back with you in your room…" Alexi stopped and swallowed hard before going on. "That night was the longest of my life but when we had to leave I think that was the absolute worst. The fear hasn't gone away since then. Until now."
"I can't believe it," Katya said softly shrugging in his arms.

Alexi leaned back with sudden excitement and took her by her wrist.
"Let's get down there. C'mon."

Katya almost followed but tugged him back as she remembered the lab hours.
"Oh wait, Lex. We can't."
"Why not?"
"I forgot. The lab is closed for maintenance and test analysis or some bull shit. I don't know but I know we have another couple of hours before they'll let us in."
"Won't they make an exception?"

Alexi was disappointed in the worst way and his broad shoulders sunk making him look somehow smaller and deflated.
"Tawny said not unless it's an emergency. And thankfully it isn't. Thankfully we can finally take a breath and believe that there is a real chance that everything is going to turn out okay."

Alexi briefly considered hauling down to the civilian medical center and demanding access to the lab. He quickly decided against it. Katya was right. They finally had a moment to breathe.
"I love you, Yekaterina," He said embracing her once again. "You've made me very happy."
"Ya tebya lyublyu, malysh. You've made me happier than I thought I could be. Oh and there is something else. Tawny gave me the okay to uh, celebrate. I mean really. No more acting like teenagers trying every which way not to do the real deal."

Though Alexi had been patient and understanding the news was more than welcome.
"You've been very creative, Captain."

Katya rolled her eyes.
"I could say the same for you, Sergeant. But the wait is over so until we can make our way to the lab I say we take the doctor's suggestion and celebrate."
"There isn't anything else that could distract me for the next two hours."
Alexi kissed her, lightly sucking in her bottom lip but Katya couldn't help her smile. She grinned against his mouth until he broke the kiss with a little chuckle.
"You know, Lex now we can tell my parents. I know Ellen's going to be mad at first but she won't possibly be able to stay angry."

Alexi nodded and kissed her forehead.
"Tomorrow is New Year's Eve. On New Year's Day we'll be celebrating as a family. Ellen always has a holiday dinner at the cabin. We can tell them then. Dah?" He suggested, keeping a steady grip on her. "The gift giving has gone by the wayside this holiday season. Everyone's been so distracted and afraid of what's happened and what's coming next. This will be like our gift to them. We can bring some measure of happiness, some hope."
"I like that," Katya smiled.

Alexi leaned in to kiss her again.

Katya was impetuous and insistent as she pressed herself against him. Though they hadn't avoided sensual contact over the last few weeks they hadn't truly been together since their time on Delta Station and Alexi didn't need much in the way of encouragement. He picked her up in one fluid movement. When she wrapped her legs around his hips he whispered in her ear.

"Myshka lyublyu tebya vsem sertsem, vs'ey dushOyu. I love you with everything I have."
"Show me, malysh," She coaxed.

In what seemed like less than a blink they were on their rack nearly undressed; cotton and lace, boots and holsters carelessly tossed to the cabin floor.
Katya pulled back from their frantic kissing and stilled Alexi's hand as it traveled up her ribcage.
"Malysh? Will you promise me something?"
"Mm?"
"Promise you won't hold back?"

While Alexi had been tentative and unsure with her the last time they really made love, this time Katya's request only fanned the flame of his desire. His eyes promised her that and more as his hands went to lift her hips.

Katya's heart nearly sunk when Alexi suddenly stilled. A contemplative look grew on his usually impassive face.
"Lex what's wrong?"

He furrowed his brow in thought fighting the urge to move on. He softly dropped her hips and leaned over her body so that he was close to her ear.
"Katya I was just thinking…what do you suppose the chances are that…"

She quickly started to shake her head, cutting him off before he had a chance to finish his thought.
"None, Alexi," She said cupping his cheek. "None. It shouldn't have even happened before. We've been told a hundred times over."

He bit his lip and nodded. She was right.
Once Alexi's hands resumed their exploration Katya became even more aggressive. She clung to him, pulled him close, and dug her fingers into his heated flesh. Every movement was deliberate. It had to be that way. She needed to stay in the moment. She needed her body and her mind to be there with him. She needed to remember who she was, who she loved and all that her life encompassed.
When she noticed Alexi was avoiding her breasts she palmed the back of his head urged his mouth to her chest. He paused for only the briefest of moments. She allowed him his hesitation knowing that he would keep his promise to her. Though she was sore his lips and tongue soothed her flesh. His warm fingers kneaded away the deep ache. The sweet discomfort was exactly what Katya was looking for. It reminded of her of what they had together. It reminded her of the present and what was most important to them. She was too afraid to let Alexi read her. She was so afraid of what might come through besides her appreciation and love for him. She didn't trust herself. Instead she verbally thanked him over and over, murmuring her words into his hair line.
"Spasibo, malysh. Spasibo, pasiki. Pozhaluysta, ne ostanavlivaysya ."
He gave her all that she asked for and more. They released the weeks of frustration and fear and reminded each other of the deep and unconditional love they had been so lucky to find together. They didn't stop until their bodies gave out. They hadn't meant to fall to sleep wrapped up in a knot of limbs and bed sheets but they'd exhausted themselves.

Alexi slept soundly. He was more at ease than he had been in months but though Katya's body lay dormant and resting beside him sleep had brought her nothing but turmoil. It had brought her everything she'd just so desperately tried to keep away.
Her dreams were choppy and fleeting; no one image lasted long enough to accept before the next took its place.

She dreamed of a life she never knew and yet she recognized it all. She was home. Not her home but home; a planet with blue skies and grass on the ground. She saw him first in the court yard of a dilapidated building. It was being used as a camp, as some sort of a fort for vigilante fighters; civilians turned into warriors. It was the resistance and Sam was their leader. She dreamed of saying goodbye to him, thinking for the first time that she would never see his face again. She handed him her dog tag and made him a promise.
There wasn't any space between one dream and the next. Soon she was somewhere desolate. Somewhere far from home. It was another planet but this one lacked the greenery and familiar feeling. There was mud under her feet but she didn't care. Sam was by her side again. On a clear morning she faced him with her father by her side; not Isakoff, not Saul but Bill Adama and he gave her away to be married.

In an instant the scene changed and she and Sam were in a stuffy tent. He sat on a stool nearby and just chuckled at her with his bicep bandaged. She could hear the hum before she felt the needle on her arm; the place where she'd proudly worn the wing that marked her as his forever.

Soon the humming sound of the artist's needle was replaced by the more familiar hum of a ship. This time she knew she wasn't on any terrestrial surface. She knew the constant whirring drone of spacecraft well. Sam was still by her side but he wasn't laughing or smiling anymore. He lay in a cylon tub, his eyes vacant and wild at the same time. He looked sick, hurt and hardly human. His head was shaved clean and his skin was clammy and pale. They weren't happy any longer and once more she had the feeling that she would never see his face again. She took the same tag from her neck that she'd once given him as a promise and she dropped them into the cylon fluid that surrounded his body as she kissed him goodbye again.
Her eyes suddenly flashed with the burning glow of the sun.
"Sam!"
Katya's shouting made Alexi shoot up out of a deep sleep. It took him a moment to realize what she'd just called out but soon enough she mumbled it through her tears again. Alexi was used to her calls for Husker and Helo, strange as they were, but this was too much.
"Yekaterina, wake up! Pod'yom!" He barked rather harshly.
This time he didn't have the patience to gently rouse her from her nightmare.
"Now, Katya!" He shouted as he threw his legs over the side of the bed and stood up. He looked down at her as she struggled to wake, still mumbling the other man's name. "Yekaterina!"

When Katya finally opened her eyes she saw Alexi staring at her with anger in his gaze.
Her chest was still heaving and the sheets were stuck to her body. She squinted and shook her head for a moment trying to jar her mind back into place. She remembered that she was home on Alpha Station in her cabin with her husband. She remembered that she had just been dreaming and then she remembered just what and who she'd been dreaming of. The look in Alexi's eyes quickly told her that somehow he knew too. She couldn't speak. Her mouth was dry and Alexi's usually sweet offer of soothing sips of water after a nightmare looked to be the last thing on his mind.
"Lex…"
"Katya I won't let this go on any longer," He said through his gritted jaw. "You can block me from reading you, you can lie to me and hide things all you want. I still see something isn't right!" The volume of his voice made her jump. "For weeks I haven't gone a day without hearing that some strange man is begging to see my wife. Now you're shouting his name in our bed!?"
"Lex it wasn't like that. I don't know what…"
"It doesn't matter, Yekaterina! Whatever it is, it's changed you. Whatever it might be is driving you mad and I can't sit by your side and watch you let it. Why are you still having nightmares? We just got the best news we could have hoped for and it didn't calm you worth a damn!"
"Alexi it did. I'm relieved over the news but it doesn't solve all of our problems!"
"You told me that you were happy, Katya. You aren't. I can sense it no matter how much you try to shut me out. You're so worried that there won't be a future that you aren't focusing on what our lives are going to be like if there is! Things are changing for us, Kat! Your mind should be focused on that. Not whatever the hell it is you're dreaming of! Not some man, some stranger!"
"Alexi, prosti , detka, ya ne khotel vas obidet! I can't control these dreams. I don't know where they come from. I don't know why they are happening. You have to believe me. Listen to me!"
"No, Katya. You listen to me. Before you get back in this bed you go see that man and you settle whatever it is that's making you fear him, whatever it is that's causing you to dream of him. Do it soon because I'm not spending another night with you until you do. I've been patient. I've tried to help but you won't let me so do it yourself! Now get dressed and compose yourself. We have someplace to be. The lab should be opened. Maybe some time there will remind of where your mind should be, Katya."
"Alexi you know how worried I've been for months! You know how afraid I've been. I was so grateful to hear the news today. You're acting as if I don't care!"
"I know that you care, Yekaterina! I know it…I know that there hasn't been a day in months that this hasn't consumed your waking thoughts…but for the life of me, I don't know what's taking over when you sleep. Let's go, Katya. We have precious little time there."

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 119B: ASSIGNMENT; TIGH

YEAR: 2315

"I thought you were on duty," Saul greeted as he let Bill through the hatch.

He'd been napping when his old friend awoke him with a few forceful knocks.
"I was. It quiet out there so Kaplan let me go."
It was a lie. The Commander thought that Bill seemed distracted. Less than an hour into Bill's shift Kaplan dismissed him suggesting that he take the rest of the day to compose himself.
"Quiet?" Saul said with a grunt. "The calm before another shit storm?"
"I hope not. We're getting a lot of interference from the satellite feeds. We can't see what they're doing down there on the surface worth a damn. You can tell it's intentional too. Most feeds are clear. Only known bot bases and hubs are distorted."
"Not good," Saul groaned. "They didn't use to give a frak what we saw them doing."
"Makes you think they're up to something doesn't it?"
"Sure does. Well, come on in while we still have time to sit," The Colonel offered with a wave of his hand.
"Ellen home?" Bill asked as he looked around the Tigh cabin.
"Na. She's probably putting out one fire or another…or starting one," Saul mused. "Drink?"

Bill glanced at Tigh's shoulder. His arm still rested in a sling.
"I'll get it," He offered. "You sit." He went to the drink cart as Saul took a seat on the sofa. "How's the arm?"
"It hurts like hell," Saul sighed as he sat. "But it's nothing I can't handle. Being a POW will give you a certain pain threshold."

Bill cringed as he poured their drinks. Even after an eternity the thought of Saul and Laura being held in containment on New Caprica still made his stomach turn. He swallowed down the old memory and brought his friend a drink.
"And uh, you and Katya?" Bill asked, handing Saul a glass and taking a seat nearby.

Saul took a sip and savored it. Ellen had been doing her best to limit his alcohol intake while he was still nursing his injuries.
"She's still angry. She's still confused. She doesn't really understand," He said thoughtfully before he paused. "But she knows that Ellen and I love her and she knows that we love each other. That's been enough to hold us together through this. She's trying to forgive me. Poor kid. She forces herself to come here and check up on me, help me with a dozen things I don't need help with. She looks at me and I can tell she doesn't know whether to slug me or hug me."

Bill gave him a small understanding smile.
"I spent a lot of time being looked at by Lee in a similar way."
"It's rough. I don't mind admitting that. She's my princess as soft and sappy as it sounds. Now I feel like she sees a monster in me that she never knew was there."

Bill nodded. It was hard to hear Saul question himself as a father. A look around the Tigh quarters showed how tight-knit the little makeshift family had been over the years. The only photos proudly displayed on the image walls were of Katya. There were childhood photos, some of her dancing, a few family shots from her flight academy graduation and what looked like one from her wedding. As far as Bill was concerned Saul had done better as a father than he ever imagined he could.
"Saul the very fact that she's trying so hard to prove that she still loves you should be all the reassurance you need," Bill contended. "She's learned things about her parents that she never knew. As hard as it is she'll accept it and soon it'll just become another part of your lives together."

Saul rubbed the stubble on his chin and took another short sip.
"I guess. Ellen says she needs time."

Bill nodded and took a large gulp of his drink. He squinted in thought wondering how to broach the reason why he'd found himself at Saul's door. He was still so confused by it himself. He wasn't even sure what kind of answer he was looking for. He just knew he needed to ask, if only to clear the fog it had brought to his mind.
"Saul, Katya is part of the reason I stopped by."

The Colonel leaned forward and grimaced.
"Lords. What did she do now?" He asked bracing for some kind of complaint.
"It wasn't something she did. It was something she said."
"Laura again?" Saul naturally assumed. "I thought their condition was currently set to tolerable."

Bill shook his head.
"No not with Laura, Saul. In fact…I'm not sure what to make of those two but they seem to be growing on each other. It may be at a snail's pace but I'm glad. It's not them. It was something that happened just a little while ago while I was on my way to the control center."
"Hm?"

Bill quizzically narrowed his eyes and looked up.
"Did you ever tell Katya about that old jody-call me and Starbuck would use?"
Saul took a deep breath and tried to remember.
"You mean that old 'what'dya hear' and all that?"
"Yeah."

"Grab your gun and so on?"
"Something like that, yeah."

Saul thought for a moment and put his drink to his knee.
"Yeah…maybe. I suppose I could have. Probably did. I told her so much about the days on Galactica. She loved stories about Starbuck and Apollo as a kid. Why?"

He honestly had no recollection of sharing it with Katya but he didn't trust a memory as old has is was.
"Think she would know it by heart?" Bill asked.
"What?"
"The jody-call? Would she know it off hand?"

Saul's brow lowered. The Old Man had a strange look on his face. It made him feel uneasy.
"I dunno, Bill. It's been a while since she's asked to hear old war stories," He considered. "But she had a mind like a godsdamn sponge as a kid. If I ever did mention it then I guess she could still remember it." He watched Bill nod but it seemed like he wasn't satisfied with the answer. "Why do you ask?"
"I saw her in the corridor earlier on my way to the control room. She was jogging. I don't know why but I saw her and it just…came out."
"What did?"
"I said 'what do ya hear?' And she answered me. She didn't miss a beat. She answered the call exactly right; 'Nothing but the rain'."
"So I guess I did tell her then," Saul shrugged doing his best to minimize the event. "There's your answer."

Bill shook his head.
"It was strange."
"How so?"

Bill thought back to the odd interaction. The feeling that had overcome him was unexplainable. He didn't know how to take Katya's reaction but she looked even more disturbed by it than he felt.
"The way she looked at me after. It was like she was shocked or even maybe a little afraid. She ran off. I didn't have time to ask her."

Saul felt the blood partially drain from his face. His hands became clammy against the glass of his drink. He wasn't sure why but it was the same feeling he'd experienced upon hearing Katya shout for Husker and Helo in her dream. It was the same feeling that had kept him up all night. Quickly he shook his head in denial, internally blaming it all on his hurt shoulder and the medications he was on.
"She's a busy girl, Bill. She's always running off someplace. Half the time I don't even know what she's up to anymore."

Saul felt partially guilty for dismissing Bill's concern. He'd done it to Ellen months ago and she'd done it to him only a night before. He knew how frustrating it could be to look for validation and find none. He just didn't know what he would be affirming if he gave the other man's concern any credence.
"I guess," Bill sighed as he eased back into his seat with a tired groan.

He seemed to be willing to drop it for now and Saul took the opportunity to veer away from the strange subject.
"You leaving Laura home alone to drink with me?" He kidded.
"Laura isn't home," Bill answered in a somewhat deflated tone.
"Where is she?"
"I don't know. Maybe with a student," Bill shrugged. He knew that Laura must have had a long night after he fell to sleep. When he woke up and proceeded to dress and get ready for his shift she hardly moved. When Kaplan dismissed him he returned to their cabin to check on her but their quarters were empty and the guards were gone. "I think she's upset with me anyway," He admitted.
It caused Saul to smirk into his drink.
"Let's hear it, Old Man. What did you do?"
Bill rubbed at his forehead in consideration before he spoke.

"Could have been a lot of things, I suppose. We had sort of a tough conversation last night," He vaguely confessed.

"Oh don't give me that. If you're in the doghouse with that women I'm sure you know what put you there."

"She wasn't mad. She just didn't react well."

"To?"

Bill's drink was already empty. He placed the glass on the coffee table and stared at it as he spoke.

"We were talking about a lot of things; being here, our purpose, our life back in the fleet...learning about Katya. Maybe saying that I was talking was more accurate. It's harder for Laura to share how she feels sometimes," He confessed, "But I can see it well enough. Especially with how she feels about Katya. She already cares so deeply for her but…It's like the more she gets to know our daughter the more she mourns all of the time we missed with her instead of embracing what we have now."

"Understandable," Saul half defended.
"Its is."
"So what got her so upset at you?"
"Laura's been so discouraged with our lack of direction here, with not knowing how else to help. I started thinking that maybe we could do more on an individual level while we tried to figure out the larger goal."

Saul could tell that Bill was dancing around the point.

"Like what?"

Bill sighed. Now that he was about to say it out loud he regretted it even more.

"After that last ambush I heard Kaplan talking about how the number of orphans in Orbit was rising. Mostly children of military personnel. I just thought that maybe taking one in would let Laura experience some of what she missed with Katya while doing a bit of good in this world."

Saul immediately scowled.

"Gods, Bill do we really need another brat around to worry about?"
"It was just an idea," Bill answered defensively.

Saul settled back in his seat. As strange as the notion was he could see Bill's good intentions.
"A noble one at that, I suppose," He offered.
"Laura didn't think so."
With his own drink now empty Saul set it aside. He rubbed at the top of his bald head trying to figure out what to say.

"You know I suggested adoption to Ellen once. Back on Caprica," He shared. When he could see the confession had peaked Bill's interest he gained more confidence in going on. "We weren't having any luck having our own and she wanted it so badly. We had both started drinking more and more to escape the disappointment. I just want wanted to fix things. First time I brought it up she stopped talking to me for about a week," He recalled. "It wasn't that it was a bad idea. If she and I weren't so pig headed we probably would have done it early on and been happier for it. Ellen sees now that adopted or not, we couldn't love Katya any more if she were our blood. It's just that back then it made her feel like we were giving up. You suggesting it to Laura…no matter how you framed it...must have reminded her that she never even got the chance to try."

Bill nodded in consideration. He knew Laura would get over his misstep soon. He wasn't even truly sure if she was that upset at him over it. He just felt guilty and a little embarrassed. At least he was in good company.
"We're having a bit of a family get together here on New Year's day," Saul said after a while. "I think you and Laura should come. At least for dessert or drinks."
Bill immediately looked skeptical.
"I don't know, Saul. This cabin isn't big enough for Laura and Ellen. Not with Katya in the mix. I think for the sake of all three of them I should respectfully decline," He said with a hint of sarcasm.

Saul rolled his eye and shook his head.
"Oh you're making too much of that, Bill."
"Too much?"
"I think so."

Bill looked at Saul as if he were insane.
"You are aware that they took swings at each other, aren't you?"
Saul let out a hardy chuckle.
"Oh yes, Sir."
"You find that funny?"
"I find it more than funny," Saul said as he puckishly waggled his brows.

Bill forced a look of disgust at his friend's vulgar implication.
"You know you're a still an old pig, Saul."
"At least I admit it."

"Good gods."
"Look; what do you want me to say, Bill? I'm sorry my wife hit your wife? They aren't children. Far from it! I'll admit it wasn't too becoming of Laura but my Ellen could drive just about anyone to throw a fist. Besides, did Laura tell you the whole story? Everything that went on with the two of them?"

Bill frowned and shook his head.
"No. She wouldn't say much."
"Ellen wouldn't tell me squat either but you know what? I'll tell you one thing; ever since then she's lost whatever she had out for Laura. I can tell."

"How do you figure?"

"I couldn't mention that woman's name in this house before without my wife turning green with envy. Somehow now that's gone. I know it sounds strange but Ellen's anger toward Laura seems like it didn't make it through the ambush," Saul stated. He didn't know how to explain it but after a few days Ellen's attitude toward Laura Roslin just seemed different. He'd expected that her distaste for Laura would have just been exacerbated by the past week's events but it was the opposite. "We don't blame Laura for what happened. I've told you that. Ellen did but she was angry and scared and now we've all had time to think. She's the one who wants you both over for the holiday. She suggested it. Swear on my eye. Maybe they got out whatever aggression they needed. Those two women will never be friends, Bill. Godsdamn, they're like oil and water. But in this lifetime they have a mutual interest. Understand? And I'm betting they would both endure a whole lot, even each other, if either thought it would make Katya happy."

Bill took a deep breath and let it out.

"That might be true."

"Sure it is."

Maybe Saul was right. So much had gone on during the ambush. They were all faced with the true uncertainty and danger of their current situation.
"I need to ask you something else, Saul."
"Go on."

Bill looked the Colonel in the eye before he spoke, knowing that the man's expression would give away the answer before his lips did.
"Did something happen that we don't know about? Something you're keeping from us?"

Saul looked down at his empty drink to buy some time. He wished like hell there was another sip left.
"About what?"

Bill tempered his annoyance over Saul's obvious evasion and went on.
"We had Helo and Athena over for dinner last night. It was Helo's first night here. You and Ellen had the kids over here. We thought the four of us would touch base. Wasn't anything constructive. Just wound up being a pleasant visit I guess. I did come away with one thing, though. I know when Sharon is keeping a secret from me. I know it because she hates to do it. Back in the fleet I had to learn quickly whether or not she was telling me the truth because there was a time when her honesty and loyalty was keeping us alive. She knows something about the ambush last week that for whatever reason she isn't willing to tell me and Laura." Bill studied his old friend's face for a moment. "Do you know what that is, Saul?"

Tigh leaned forward and finally met Bill eyes to eye.
"It's…inconsequential."

"Inconsequential," Bill parroted with a frown. "Is that how this is going to be, Saul? You're going to keep me in the dark? Back when I was your superior I didn't keep things from you," He added with some heat.

Saul swallowed hard. He knew that if he told Bill the secret would still be safe. It was the military they wanted to hide it from. They'd only kept it from the others to spare them some distress.
"Bill the day of the ambush D'Anna was on the basestar." He kept his tone calm and even as he went on. "She took it upon herself to reach out to the bots. She sent a signal from the basestar; a message sent in binary code. She tried to reach out to them as another machine who had once been in their place. She offered to be sort of an…ambassador for compromise so to speak. I've read it. She was trying to help. She didn't understand that these things aren't as advanced as cylon were during the time of the attacks on the Colonies. She didn't understand that these machines have evolved without empathy, without community. She saw that we were at a standstill and she thought that she'd found her reason for being brought back to help. They returned her message." Saul could see anger growing on Bill's face but he powered through. "Their reply wasn't specific. I would call it a mechanical refusal of her naive proposal of compromise. Athena was there when the reply came in. She'd traveled to the basestar that day to escort D'Anna back to Delta Station. When the atmosphere was breached Athena sent me an urgent message alerting me to what D'Anna had done. Ellen and I asked her to keep it to herself. "

"Godsdamn it, Saul," Bill finally erupted. "You kept this from the military? From the very people you say you're trying to save!?"
"All indications are that the bots would have attacked anyway. D'Anna made no threats. It could have been a coincidence. And even if it wasn't, it's not as if there wouldn't have been another attack soon. We've been dealing with steadily increasing battle in Orbit for weeks. Ellen and I saw no good reason to incite any animosity toward D'Anna. She's still here as a savior. We didn't want her to be seen as some sort of evil accomplice or an instigator. Do you know what it would do to the people to hear this? And we kept it from the rest of you to save you from the frakking headache!"
"What was she doing on the basestar in the first place?"
"Margot took her there with Ellen's permission. She was trying to help the Specialist find a way to defuse the signal emanating from the atmosphere line. She was helping her daughter work."
"You make it sound like a family mishap! Why was she even allowed on the ship!?"
"We allow you and Katya to work together, Bill. You've been allowed to work with your daughter. There isn't much difference. D'Anna knows that ship. She's equipped to understand complicated communications and engineering issues. Ellen thought she might be able to help Margot."
"You know what that woman is capable of!"
"You're damn right I know what she was capable of," Saul snarled, though he didn't mean to. "Of course I know. I helped design her. I know that we made mistakes with her line. We made mistakes with all of them. They weren't meant to be perfect. They were meant to be human. I know perfectly well what D'Anna was once capable of, Bill. Believe me. Did ya know, it was a Three that took my eye on New Caprica? A Three and a One," Saul said with a bitter snort. "Later when D'Anna looked at me for the first time after realizing that I was one of the Final Five I saw true remorse in her eyes and I knew that she had a soul worth forgiving. The same as I know she made those horrible misguided mistakes back then I also know that she learned from her last journey. She learned things I don't think I'll understand until I'm long dead and on the other side. That's why I brought her back in Starbuck's place. She sees things in a way others can't. She didn't get to complete her journey the last time. I don't think she would maliciously sabotage her chance for redemption. Especially with the way Ellen says she's taken to Margot. She was trying to help."
"Help," Bill mimicked.
"Yes, help! She's been told that she was brought back here to do just that. The way she went about it was obviously a mistake but she tried, Bill. She frakking tried!"

Bill shot up in his seat.
"Are you saying that we aren't? If you gave us a godsdamn clue as to why you brought us here then maybe we would be able to!"
"No. No I'm not saying that," Saul backtracked with a defensive palm up. "I know that you and Sharon and Helo are all trying to help in whatever ways you can. For frak sake none of us ever thought that you three would enlist. It's beyond admirable. Laura too. She didn't need to start teaching again. I see that she's trying to help in the ways that she can. Except for frakkin' Anders you've all done whatever you could think of to try and be of use. It hasn't gone unseen or unappreciated. Unfortunately those gestures…they aren't what these people need to survive."

Bill was silent for a moment before collapsing back in his chair.
"Well I don't know what else to give them," He muttered.
"Neither do I," Saul groaned. "D'Anna tried to guess. She tried to use her own experience and her knowledge to fulfill her role here. It didn't work and she's sorry. She's ashamed. Most of all Ellen says she's depressed."
"Depressed?" Bill scowled.
"Margot became irate when she realized what her birth mother had done. She blames D'Anna for the attack. She blames her for every death and injury that occurred that day. Most of all she blames herself for brining D'Anna to the ship in the first place. It's why Ellen can't get her the poor girl to leave the basestar. She's locked herself in there with no company or staff other than the ship centurions. All she does is work and obsess over a fix for the atmosphere signal. Margot told D'Anna that she never wanted to see her again. Understandably, as her biological mother D'Anna has taken it to heart," Saul explained with a humble shrug. "I would think that you could sympathize with that, Bill. You say they're learning to be civil to each other now but you watched Laura's heart break when Katya tried to turn her away. It hurt, didn't it? D'Anna may be a machine but so am I and I can tell you that we love our children as deeply as any human. Ellen says D'Anna's been depressed ever since she came aboard Alpha."

Bill couldn't respond to Saul's defense.

"You're in charge now, Saul. You've got to make sure something like this never happens again."
"Now you're all on one station. We can keep tabs on everyone for better or worse. Before it was harder. We were trying to go about things while still working under the thumb of the EOC, the military and the Security Administration. If you haven't noticed Ellen's told just about all of them to go frak themselves. She's taking charge. She got all of you here and now…"
"Now what?"

Saul sighed and rubbed at his shoulder. He shook his head. He didn't know. For a while they were both quiet again.

"There's a New Year's Eve party at Senchi," Saul said after a while. "Mostly the kids go out and have a good time but Ellen and I always stick our heads in at some point during the night, have a toast or two. She likes to see them having a good time. You and Laura should think about it."

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 181B: ASSIGNMENT; ANDERS

YEAR: 2315

Katya couldn't shake her dream or the feelings it had brought her. Even the visit to the lab hadn't been enough to snap her out of it. She was glad to be there but once she and Alexi left the happy distraction was gone. She felt so much fear and guilt but she could hardly understand why. It was eating her from the inside out. Once they were back on the military side of the station Alexi quickly reported back to duty. Thanks to Tawny neither of them were obligated to do so but he'd made the decision to go in anyway. Katya knew it was because of how she'd woken by his side. The fact that he'd chosen to leave her and escape the tension between them had been the final straw. When he was gone from their cabin Katya called Ellen amidst a fit of rage filled tears and demanded that she come get her. The frantic nature of her voice had her aunt there in no time.

When Ellen arrived she attempted to calm and soothe Katya as if she were a toddler in the middle of a tantrum. The reality of her state wasn't far off but Katya wasn't responding to her tactics.

"Sweetie you need to calm down and just tell me what's wrong!"

"I don't know! I don't know what's wrong. I can't think!"

"Baby, I don't understand. Something must have happened. Why won't you tell me?"
"Nothing happened! Nothing happened!"

"You expect me to believe that, Katya?! Look at yourself! You're scaring me to death!"

"I just need…I need your help!"
"Okay…Okay, kitten. Anything. Just name it."
"I want you to take me to Sam Anders. I want to go now."
Ellen was shocked at her daughter's request. The look in Katya's eyes was strange; frenzied, fearful but determined. A chill ran down Ellen's spine as she thought of Sam. His eyes so often looked the same when he was in the throes of one of his own fits. Though she was worried about Katya's state of mind she quickly agreed. She had been so worried over how she was going to convince the girl to see him. Now she didn't have to. She took Katya by the hand and they left for Sam's recently assigned quarters.

The guards in front of Sam's hatch were getting fairly used to Ellen's frequent visits. Alongside an unmoving centurion two marine guards gave her a familiar greeting as she approached the door with Katya in tow.
"He's in I assume," Ellen addressed one marine.
"Yes, Ma'am. Been quiet all day."
Ellen chuckled under her breath and gave the guard a knowing roll of her eyes.
"Well then are you sure he's in there?" She teased.
With an amicable smile the guard nodded.
"He's in there ma'am."
"Well," Ellen sighed, "Let's see what kind of mood he's in today."
She turned to Katya who was nervously ringing her hands a few feet behind her.
"Are you sure you're up for this, kitten?"
Katya swallowed and nodded.
Ellen wasn't sure why she was so suddenly so apprehensive about bringing Katya to see Sam. She'd been hoping it would happen since he arrived on Alpha. Though the events of his resurrection had been alarming and his following strange obsession with Katya was quite unsettling Ellen trusted Sam. She believed in her heart that he was still the same man that she had known for thousands upon thousands of years. No matter what was wrong with him now, she truly believed he had no intentions of harming her child. She had no logical reason to be anxious about their meeting. She should have been happy to show Sam that she'd finally been able to experience being a mother. He had always been so supportive of her back when it was what she longed for most. Ellen reached for the young woman's hand and found it was trembling. She gave it a squeeze and frowned. Katya looked truly frightened.
"I promise he won't hurt you, baby. Trust me. Okay?"
"I know."
As Ellen turned to knock on the hatch one of the marines stopped her.
"Mrs. Tigh?"
"Hm?"
"I didn't realize you planned on brining Captain Isakoff inside with you."
"Well did you think I was going to leave her parked outside like a damn scooter?"
"No, Ma'am. My apologies. It's just that she isn't on the clearance list we have."
"Aunt Ellen I have to go in!"
"You are, baby. Just calm down," Ellen assured. "Look, Corporal, I make that list. Kaplan just signs off on it."
"Understood, Ma'am but she still isn't on it. You would have to add her and wait for the commander's official approval. I don't have the authority to let her inside."
"Ellen!"
"Kat, shut up," Ellen scolded over her shoulder. "Corporal the Captain is going in under my authority." Ellen gave a subtle glance to the centurion beside them. The machine protectively inched its way toward the hatch as if it had every intention of seeing both women inside. The marine guards both paled at the sight and temporarily lost all appearance of authority. The cylons were their allies but everyone knew they answered to the Tighs above all. "I suggest you take it up with your commander," Ellen snidely suggested. She gave a thankful nod and wink to the centurion. They didn't all have names like Vladi did but sometimes she thought that they deserved them. "C'mon, kit."

The guards showed no further signs of protest.
Ellen started to bang her open fist against the hatch of the cabin. It took a few frustrating repetitions before an angry muffled voice came through the thick door.
"What!?"

Though she was expecting his usually less than amicable greeting Ellen's shoulders fell. She was hoping his second impression on Katya would go better than the first.
"Sam, it's me."
"I'm not in the mood, Ellen," Sam's voice charged. "Go away!"

Katya panicked.

"What? No. Ellen!"

If she didn't go in now she knew that she might never get the nerve again.

"Oh ignore that, kit," Ellen shrugged. "This is just what he does. Every godsdamn time," She added under her breath.
Sam usually let Ellen in after a short cursory verbal battle through the hatch. It had become somewhat of a habit that started back during her visits on Delta Station.
"Sam open the door! I need to talk to you."

Ellen attacked the hatch with another fit of her frustrated fist.
"Forget it," Sam called again. "I'm tired."

He really was. Tawny had escorted him home from the ward in the early hours of the morning. The laser procedure had been as excruciating as she'd promised. It was his choice to go without anesthesia and now he was suffering for it. Though he was sore he'd refused to take even the mild pain pills the doctor offered to leave in his quarters. Tawny assured him that he would soon feel much better but he had been struggling to rest through the pain all day.
"Sam open up!" Ellen shouted. "I'm not leaving so just open the frakking door before I have these men open it for you!"

She had done it before on days when her patience was worn too thin for his games.
"Ellen give it a rest already!" Sam barked, "Besides I drank everything you brought over anyhow," He ribbed. "The bar is dry here. Go someplace else."

"You supplied this maniac with liquor?" Katya ridiculed at her aunt's back.

Ellen placed her forehead on the cool metal of the door and sighed.

"Sweetie, you can't bring people back from the dead and then tell them that they have to be sober," She mumbled, trying to hide her irritation with some humor. "It's bad manners."

Katya shook her head.

"Well if he wants to see me so bad you tell him it's now or never. I'm not standing here like an idiot any longer, Aunt Ellen."Ellen looked over her shoulder once more to study Katya. Her voice sounded so strange. "I'm not kidding. Now or I'm out."

Ellen nodded and turned back to face the hatch.
"Sam!" She called again. "I have someone with me I think you want to see. A visitor. Someone who wants to talk to you."

He was suddenly silent and Ellen knew that it was a good sign. She backed away from the door and gave Katya a knowing look.
"Aunt Ellen does he really makes you go through all of that just to get in?"
"Usually," Ellen said with a tilt of her head. "He's a lot more welcoming once I get inside."

It was the truth. Once she was in the cabin and once they each had a drink in them Sam was more receptive. He was calmer and more like the man she once knew.

Katya shook her head in disbelief.
"What's wrong with this asshole?"
"I dunno, baby," Ellen admitted with a sigh.
The door clicked on the other side. Katya's back went stiff, her eyes went wide and she felt her teeth clench tight.
"Finally," Ellen groused as the door began to open.

Sam's eyes were over Ellen's shoulder from the moment he pulled back he hatch. He knew that Tawny would have come on her own and that the Admiral was too fed up with him to visit again so soon. Helo would have just announced himself the way he had the day before. Sam had been hopeful at Ellen's first mention of a visitor but he hadn't truly believed it could be true until he saw the young woman at her back. He was silent as he stared at Katya. She returned his gaze for only a moment before tearing her eyes away and glancing toward the floor as if she'd just accidentally looked directly into the sun.
"Well aren't you going to invite us in, Sam?" Ellen mocked.
His eyes didn't leave Katya. Though he heard what Ellen was saying her voice sounded miles away.
He nodded and clumsily backed his way into the cabin.
Ellen was quick to enter but when she didn't sense Katya behind her she turned back and gave the girl a warning glare.
"Kat," She called with a flick of her wrist. Slowly Katya entered without lifting her focus from the floor. "C'mon. Get in here. I want you to officially meet my oldest and dearest friend, though he sometimes forgets the latter," She mused. "Sweetie, this is Samuel T. Anders."
Katya didn't want to look up at him. She told herself not to even though it felt like her eyes were being pulled in his direction like magnates. It almost hurt to stop them.
"Sam," Ellen continued proudly, "This is my daughter, Yekaterina Isakoff."
At the sound of her own name Katya finally gathered herself enough to look up at the man in front of her. When she did she found that he looked almost as stunned and fearful as she felt.

Sam took in the sight of the young woman in front of him; the so called stranger he'd been begging to see since he first awoke in a foreign time and place. He felt his breath getting caught between his throat and his lungs and had to force himself to breathe normally.

Katya was all that he could remember from his resurrection but it was only the feelings that he recalled. Her image had been filled in later with Ellen's proud collection of pictures and his own searches on the network. He knew from her pictures that she would be beautiful. In person he now found her breathtaking, but nothing about the way she looked felt right.

She was too tall and too lean. Now that he was truly in her presence he could sense a certain air that she carried. It wasn't what he'd expected at all. She seemed sort of stuck up and entitled instead of just overconfident like he'd anticipated. For a moment he had to remind himself of who she was raised by. Two lifetimes ago he had spent hours wondering what the Tigh's child might be like and praying they would get the chance to find out. It never happened. Now eons later their adopted daughter didn't look the part but she certainly fit the bill. Sam was sure that she had never wanted for anything material as a child. At least not once she was in the Tigh's care. He was positive even Saul had become putty in the girl's hands. He knew without a doubt that their little girl would have been spoiled rotten. She would have been showered with love and attention in a way only Ellen Tigh could manage. Sam sensed all of this from the young woman in front of him but still he felt an air of need from her as if she had been given the moon and the stars and yet always pined for what she couldn't have. That, at least, felt familiar to him. It felt right and it was actually comforting.

Sam's eyes narrowed as he studied her further. He had to stop himself from shaking his head. To spite the military position he knew that she held she looked too delicate. She looked almost refined with her dark hair pulled back and her long curled lashes. It was then that he was suddenly reminded of who had truly sired her. She may have been a Tigh but she was Roslin's and the Admiral's by blood. The more he looked at her the more evident it was in her appearance. It wasn't a resemblance one would notice right away but he had known these people for ages. He could see Roslin in the way the girl carried herself, in her bone structure and in the line of her jaw. Her coloring was undeniably Adama. When he saw a hint of Apollo in the corners of her eyes Sam felt himself wince. It was too much to wrap his mind around and he pushed the thought away.
"Sam, you've been asking to meet Kat for weeks," Ellen prompted. "Aren't you going to say hello?"

Sam swallowed but his mouth was dry.

Ellen looked toward Katya. She looked as stunned as Sam did.

"Kitten? Are you suddenly getting shy on me? Say hello."
"Aunt Ellen, please leave," Katya said curtly.

Ellen squinted in confusion.
"What?"
"I'd like you to go."
"Go? What for?" Ellen asked with a bit of a nervous laugh.

"Don't leave me here," Katya clarified. "Just…could you step outside? Just for a second?"

Ellen was totally perplexed.
"I suppose. I mean I guess I could." She was completely confused by her daughter's behavior. She took a few steps toward Katya and spoke close to her ear. "Baby are you sure that you want me to go? I don't understand. A day ago you didn't want to be anywhere near him."
"I'm sure. Just don't go far. Okay?"

Ellen took a few steps back and looked over toward Anders.
"Alright. If that's what you want."
"It is," Katya reaffirmed.

Ellen gave a reluctant nod.
"I'll just be outside then," She said as she tentatively walked to the hatch.
"Thank you, Ellen," Sam called as she hesitantly made her way to the door. "Thank you so, so much."

She narrowed her eyes and looked them both over.
"Don't thank me, Sam," She said flatly. "I'll be outside if either of you needs me."
Ellen slipped through the hatch eyeing the pair cautiously, almost suspiciously as she left. When the door clicked shut Sam's lips curved into a soft smile.
"I was so afraid that you wouldn't come," He finally said. "I thought that your stubbornness was about to win out."
"My stubbornness?" Katya snapped. "What the hell do you know about me?"
At the abrupt spike in her temper Sam's smile brightened. He'd misjudged her. She had appeared somewhat lissome at first but in a flash he could see the hardness underneath. She was loved, that he knew, but someone or something had hurt her long before. Maybe ages before. The look in her eyes was familiar though the color wasn't.

Sam shrugged.
"Nothing," He said shaking his head, "Nothing…everything…"

"You're still babbling! Same as when I saw you in that tub. I didn't come here to be circle talked."

Her antagonistic words suddenly incited an old spark within Sam and he found himself snapping back at her.

"Then why did you come, huh?"

"So you would stop pestering my family!"

"I'm not trying to pester them."
"Oh really? So why did Aunt Ellen have babysit you on Delta for weeks at a time? Why is Tawny suddenly begging me to appease you? We thought you would come here and help us. You're a total disaster."

"I'm sorry. I never meant to…"
"I know that you tried to get to me through Margot too! You dismissed her and then you tried to use her when you thought it would get you closer to me. Your own flesh and blood! Your daughter! You're sick!"

"I had to! I had to get closer to you, Kara!"
"What?"

Sam saw her eyes go wild with fear and he quickly put his palms up in defense.
"Katya," He said, cringing and forcing the correction. "Sorry. I'm sorry."

"What the hell do you want with me?"

Sam smiled sadly and rubbed his forehead when he felt unexpected tears well in his eyes. The more she spoke the more validation he felt. He was so sure now.
"Please…please don't tell me that you don't know. You have to know in some way…who you are."

Katya's face surged with panicked heat.
"I do know who I am," She seethed as she stared to slowly back away from the strange man.

"I waited for you for so long. So long," Sam nearly cried. "When I first woke up here I couldn't remember why you'd left me on the other side. But then during the last attack I remembered. After I came out of that frakking episode, that cylon seizure, whatever the frak…I remembered…at least partially. You came here for your family. They needed you so you came."

"I don't know what the fuck you're talking about."
Sam inched closer to her negating the space she'd defensively made between them. He couldn't help it. He was drawn to her. Her tongue was a flint, her temper the fire. The more she spoke the more familiar she became to him.
"They brought us back. All but one because they just couldn't. They couldn't do it so you came back yourself. You found a way. You know it. You do. I see it in your eyes, Kara."
He was positive now. Her eyes told him everything he needed to know as he inched further toward her. They were an ultramarine shade of blue, so different from the warm hazel in his mind but they held the same worried wonder that he remembered so vividly.

"Stop calling me that."

Her tone was caught between a warning and a plea but all Sam could hear was the fact that her voice was shaking with doubt. He reached out to cup her chin and to his surprise she didn't move from his touch.

"I'm so glad that you're here," He said as he ran his thumb down her cheek.

For a long moment it seemed as though she was studying his face through her tears. He saw so much curious fear in her eyes and maybe, he hoped, a momentary flash of mutual recognition. She closed her eyes and he watched as they forced large droplets out of the corners of her lids. When she opened them again the look of curiosity was gone. Sam only saw fire and anger.

"Touch me again and I'll tell my husband," She warned through gritted teeth. "And then I'll tell my partner," She added. "And instead of getting my hands dirty I'll let the two of them duke it out over who gets to pound you into space dust."

At her threat Sam smirked and leaned in further closing the space left between them. She could feel his breath on her cheeks.

"So it's always the same with you, huh?" He intentionally goaded, hoping to stoke a flame deep within. "No matter what life you live you always have two men pining after you, Kara?"

"What?"
"Figures," He scoffed taking a deliberate step back and putting his hands on his hips.

She suddenly stormed closer to him shoving an angry finger into his broad and infuriatingly pompous chest.
"This time I made a frakking choice!"

Her own words seemed to stun her. He watched her mouth drop open in fright. Her bottom lip trembled. Her eyes looked like glass.
"It is you," He whispered.

The air was thick and electric as they stared at one another in disbelief.

They each turned with a jump when they heard a knocking sound at the hatch.
"Are you two okay?" Ellen called from the other side.

Neither answered. Katya turned to Sam making sure to leave some room between them. She closed her mouth, narrowed her eyes and straightened her spine.

"You listen to me. My name is Yekaterina Natalia Isakoff and it has been since the day I was born here on Alpha Station in the Earth's Orbit in 2293. My father was Dr. Mikhail Isakoff. My adoptive parents are Saul and Ellen Tigh. I'm a captain serving Orbit Patrol and wife of Marine Sergeant Alexi Petrov. That's who you're looking at. That's who I am, what I am."
Sam licked his lips and looked her up and down.

"Yes," He nodded. "I see that." And he did. The woman in front of him had her own life, her own personality and passions. He didn't pretend to understand it but he knew that she was all that she claimed to be. "I see that very well…but…are you sure that's all you are?"

"Kit?" Ellen called from the hall.

Katya wiped her eyes. She looked away from Sam and shook her head in defiant dismissal.

"I'm leaving."

His heart sunk like a stone.
"Kar- Katya please don't. Please?"

"I'm leaving," She insisted, trudging to the hatch.

"Don't do this. Don't run from me."

Her shoulders stiffened and she paused. When she did Sam stopped chasing after her.

"I'll be back," She stated over her shoulder.

He huffed and ran his hands through his hair.
"How can I be sure of that?"
For some reason his distrust immediately insulted her. Katya spun on her heals to face him again.
"Hey when I say I'm going to do something, I do it! Got it?"

In an instant Sam had flashes of a cylon occupied Caprica; the resistance camp, a musty room with a cot and the dusty courtyard. For a moment he could almost feel the dog tag in his hand.
"Yeah," Sam nodded. "Yeah I remember."
Katya looked forward and wrenched the door open. Ellen stood right at the hatchway, eyes wide and worried.
"Are you two alright? I heard shouting."

Katya brushed passed her without a word and took off running down the hall.

"Sam what the frak happened?" Ellen asked in a panic.

No matter what he said he knew that he was going to have to answer to this woman. She'd looked nervous when Katya first opened the door. Now she just looked furious. Sam had begged Ellen Tigh to bring Katya to him for weeks. She'd trusted him. Now her child had obviously run off upset and there was no one around to blame but him. He braced for the ramifications and gave her as honest of a smile as he could muster.

"Nothing, Ellen. I'm just glad to have finally met your daughter. You and Saul must be very proud."

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 137B: ASSIGNMENT; AGATHON

YEAR: 2315

"Sharon?" Helo called from the bedroom.

They were still getting used to their new surroundings. Though their new cabin aboard Alpha Station was nearly identical to the one they had on Beta Station it had a whole new feeling. They were glad to be there. They were glad to be closer to the Tigh's protective care and they were glad to have Roslin and Adama so near. Even by one another's side it had been lonely aboard the other station. The move to Alpha was welcome. Most of all they were happy to be close to Blaze. Any apprehensions or misgivings they had about being brought into the life they were now living became obsolete knowing they were getting to experience the life of their son.

"Sharon?" Helo called once more as he left the bedroom.
"Yeah," She answered, her voice sounding distracted and a bit distant.
"Blaze sent me a message. He wants to show me the rec-room, the gym. We might even spar a little."
"Now?" Sharon asked.
She was leaning against the side of the sofa and had a slightly pained look on her face.

"Yes, now. You should come," Helo smiled. His grin faded when he noticed his wife's discomfort. She was rubbing at her forearm. "It's bothering you again?" He said as he moved toward her and took her arm into his hands.
"It did," She shrugged. "It's going away now."
Since Sharon came aboard Alpha she'd been experiencing a strange intermittent pain above her wrist. She hadn't told Karl when he was still awaiting his transfer but it didn't take him long to notice once they were together again. Now and then she would feel an inexplicable sharp sensation. It would catch her off guard and was more startling than painful. She couldn't remember injuring it and there was no indication of trauma in the area.

"I really want you to go see someone. The doctor here, uh, what's his name? Xao? Ellen said he would treat us if anything came up."
"I will."
"Well, why don't we go now? I can cancel with Blaze. I'm sure he'll understand."
"No, Helo. Don't," Sharon said abruptly. Helo looked confused, even a little startled."I'm sorry. It's just now that we're here I think you should take whatever opportunities there are to spend with him. We all have so much time to make up for. My arm is fine. It's nothing."
Helo nodded. He was worried about her but he understood why their time with Blaze was so important.
"Hey, why don't you let him take a look at it? Tigh told me that Blaze was trained in some kind of medicine. I think physical therapy."
Sharon shrugged.

"I can go to the ward. I don't want to worry him. I'd rather you two just hit the gym and went along with your plans. You've hardly seen him since before the ambush."

Blaze had accompanied Sharon to the landing deck when Helo's shuttle landed. Though he was there for the short greeting Helo hadn't had much of an opportunity to spend any time with him. The young lieutenant reported to a shift soon after and then to Saul and Ellen's for dinner later that night.
It wasn't until Sharon and Helo's dinner with Roslin and Adama that the couple understood the full extent of what their son had done during the ambush. Hearing the Admiral speak Blaze's praises had been such a proud moment for Helo but it also made both he and Sharon realize how much danger their child had been in.
A knock at the hatch sounded and Helo smiled. Sharon nodded toward the door, encouraging her husband to answer.

Helo took no time in opening the hatch.
"Good to see you, LT," He greeted with a broad smile.
"Likewise, Cap," Blaze happily answered. "Sorry I didn't get a chance to show you around much on your first day but I figured now would be a good time. Ya know, before Kaplan okay's your service aboard and we're all too busy to do squat," He joked.

With a few more pleasantries Blaze made his way inside dressed in gym shorts and station tanks with a duffel slung on his back. It warmed Helo's heart to see the young man walk over o Sharon and greet her with a peck on the cheek. The two had taken to each other so well.

"So how do you two like Alpha so far?" Blaze asked his parents.
"We're both really glad to be here," Sharon answered for the both of them.
"I know I talked up Beta while you guys were. Don't get me wrong; it's my home station. I love it there. I'm proud of it and all it does for the rest of the system but there is something about Alpha. I think you guys will like it a lot better."
"We already do," Sharon stated.

Helo nodded by her side.
"It's good to be with familiar faces," He added.
"Understandable," Blaze said with his hands to hips. "I know Ellen and the Colonel are relieved to have you here. I'm sure Roslin and the Admiral will feel a little less out of place."
"They were very welcoming," Helo affirmed. "We ate with them last night. Admiral Adama had lots to say about you."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah," Helo echoed. "He said you threw yourself on top of him during an explosion."
"Oh…well. I would have done it for any of you. I needed to get him down to the bunkers unharmed. Was nothing anyone else wouldn't have done."

Helo shook his head.
"He said you showed great bravery and professionalism. He's never thrown words around like that lightly."
"It's just my job," Blaze shrugged. "I mean you two know how it is."
"Exactly," Sharon told him. "We do know. And we're really proud of you…as friends…as family. Whatever way you want to take it, I guess."

Blaze almost blushed before he smiled.
"I'll take both then."
Suddenly Sharon let out a hiss and grabbed at her arm.
"Again?" Helo said rushing next to her.
"What? What's wrong?" Blaze worriedly asked.
"It's nothing," She insisted. "Its fine."
"Sharon let's just head down to the ward," Helo pleaded.
"No. It's fine."

Helo turned to his son.
"She's been having this weird pain in her arm for about a week. Heard you know a thing or two about anatomy. Think you can take a look?"

Blaze grimaced and hesitantly made his way closer to Sharon.
"Was it injured?"
"No."
"Well my apprenticeship was with a physical therapist in athletic medicine so I can't really make a diagnosis as much as I could help treat it if I knew what was wrong but I'll take a look if you don't mind," Blaze offered.
"Let em', Sharon. Might as well."

Sharon reluctantly nodded.
Blaze gently took his birth mother's arm into his hands and examined the area.
"Does it hurt when touched?"
"No."

Blaze was quiet and studious and he ran his fingers over the smooth skin above Sharon's wrist. Helo observed his son's attentiveness and how he could assume such a professional demeanor so quickly.
"You know, Blazer it's really impressive that you all managed to graduate with some kind of specialization before going into basic training. I almost didn't finish high school," Helo admitted.
"Well we were all raised by scientist," Blaze explained. "It was kind of engrained in us to do something academic before committing to the fight. We got to go through school at our own pace and then pick something that interested us. I always liked the idea of healing. I didn't really want to be a medical doctor but just the idea of taking away someone's pain or discomfort…I dunno. I like knowing I can help with that. I'm pretty good at it too, if I do say so myself," Blaze boasted. "Just ask Kat. She was in an accident a few months ago. I fixed her neck and back right up. I keep telling her that if it wasn't for me she'd still be walking around here like she had a coat hanger in her uniform."
"An accident?" Sharon asked with a furrowed brow.

Blaze nodded.

"Yup. In flight. It wasn't too long after Roslin and Adama resurrected. There was an atmosphere breach below Alpha Quadrant. Our squad went out. Koshka was hit. She lost control and spun right into another bird. She was lucky she came out of it alive," He explained. "Try twisting and bending for me, Sharon."
She did as he asked though she knew it wouldn't trigger the sensation.
"It doesn't hurt to move. It's more random than that," She explained.
"Well," Helo interjected. "I'm sure the Captain was glad to have your help."
"She bitched the whole way through her sessions but she knows they helped," Blaze joked as he checked for lumps or swelling in Sharon's arm. " Ya know Kat's been out of the air even longer than I have. We both got grounded because of the signal effects but she hasn't flown since her accident. Its driving me crazy but it must be killing her."

Helo nodded.
"I think Sharon and I both understand that feeling. I mean I know we I can't fly. Gods, they won't even let us walk the halls without guard duty. It would just be nice to get in the cockpit again."
"Man I would love to get both of you in a hawk or a falcon," Blaze beamed.

"Maybe one day," Helo offered.
"Maybe," Blaze shrugged and let go of the woman's arm. "Well Sharon I don't want to freak you out but the way you're talking about the pain, it sounds as if it could be something like a clot. You should probably go see Xao ASAP."

Helo frowned.
"A clot? Is that dangerous?"
"Sure could be," Blaze answered. I mean I could also be nothing. I see nothing alarming but that doesn't mean there isn't something there. Could be some harmless nerve damage. Either way they can fix it up for you in the ward. If it is a clot it's just vascular scan for detection and then a zap of a laser to dissolve it. At the worst it's an injection to the site."
"Sharon lets go," Helo prompted. "I'll go with you."
"No. No that will make me feel worse. And Blaze just said, it could be nothing. I promise I'll go now if you two just go have some fun."

Helo looked skeptical.
"I dunno."
"I don't mind if you want to see the gym another time," Blaze offered.
"No, please?" Sharon repeated with some distress. "Just go. I promise I'll message you both if it's anything worth the slightest concern. Please?"

Helo sighed.
"You're sure?"
"Yes. Maybe I'll even meet up with you after. Please, Karl. Just do this for me?" She asked him in a low tone.

Finally he nodded in agreement.
"Alright. But you call me if it's anything. I mean anything even remotely alarming."
"I will."
"Don't worry, Helo," Blaze smiled. "We've got those cylon genes. Machine strong," He winked.

Helo smiled at the younger man's humorous attempt at making them all feel better.
"I know it."
"You two go," Sharon insisted. "Next time I'm coming along though, so get ready."
"I hear that," Blaze said, picking up his duffle bag and turning toward the door.
"You call me when you know something, Sharon."
"I will, Helo. But it's nothing. I just have a feeling."
As the two men left Sharon felt the last of the faint burning in her arm start to fade. She thumbed over the small area her son had just caringly examined. Two bodies ago she'd sported a scar in that very spot. It was mark she'd worn with a sad sense of pride. She'd been in shackles when she was brought to the CIC that day. She'd cut her own flesh and sent out a virus killing dozens of her own kind in order to protect her little growing family and to prove her loyalty to another race. Years later when Helo shot her she'd resurrected on a cylon basestar to save their daughter. She'd resurrected without the scar but she no longer felt she needed it to prove her worth or her allegiance. She was a person and she had her own merits. Now she stood in yet another body free of any old markings but the person she was had carried through hundreds of thousands of years. Sharon remembered the pain of the blade in her arm and the cable that fed into the wound. It was long healed but she would never forget it. She rubbed the at phantom pain once more before gathering herself and making her way to the ward.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 119B: ASSIGNMENT; TIGH

YEAR: 2315

Katya lay on top of her parent's rack with her journal projected over her cuff. She furiously tapped in note after note before suddenly turning onto her stomach with a groan. When the projection collapsed into her cuff's screen she reached for Ellen's pillow, dragging it toward her nose. She inhaled deeply as she clutched it but the sheets were freshly laundered so she couldn't smell the woman's comforting perfume.
As if on cue Ellen walked into the room and headed toward her dresser.
"All ready for bed, kitten?" She asked over her shoulder.

Katya grumbled into the pillow in response.
After an evasive and frustrating conversation with Sam following Katya's exit Ellen had tried to locate her daughter all afternoon. She sent her message after message and called her about half a dozen times. Katya didn't answer until later in the evening when she asked if she could stay the night. Ellen quickly agreed.
"Uncle Saul is all set up in your room. I sent the laundry out and made the bed so it would be all ready for you."
"Thanks," Katya muttered. When she arrived at the cabin she'd asked Ellen to stay the night with her as if she'd watched a scary movie and didn't want to be alone in her room. Instead of squeezing on to her old single rack together Ellen suggested a more comfortable alternative. "Are you sure Uncle Saul doesn't mind being kicked out of his bed?"
"No. Its fine, sweetie," Ellen insisted. "In fact it's better for him. He'll sleep in your old bed without having to worry about me knocking into his shoulder all night. It's just…"

"What?"

Ellen squinted and studied Katya's distant demeanor.
"Are you sure you want to stay?"
"I'm positive," Katya affirmed.

She rolled her eyes and went back to typing notes into her cuff.

Ellen watched her for a moment more and then went into the head to change and wash up. When she returned dressed for bed Katya was still typing away.

"What are you up to?"
"Hm?"
"I've noticed that you're always pecking at that thing lately. You're always either typing into your cuff or tablet. You can't be working all the time, Katya."
"I'm not working all the time."
"So what are you doing? Just messaging friends?"
"No…I don't know anyone I'd like to talk to that much."
"So?" Ellen pushed.

Katya shrugged and quit typing.
"I've just been recording some things."
"Recording what?"

Katya thought about it for a moment as she sucked on her bottom lip.
"Things that happen or things I think of."

She had been writing more than that. Katya tried to write a note a night to someone she loved even though she knew her thoughts might never be read. Laura was right. It had helped her to deal with everything that was going on around her. She'd even taken to recording bits of important data; names of soldiers or pilots who were lost that day, important events like friend's promotions or graduations. She'd become nearly obsessed with keeping track of Earth Orbit's population. Every night before bed she would look the current count up on the network and record the updated number in her journal. "Just little things here and there. So they aren't forgotten," Katya shrugged.

Ellen frowned.
"So you're keeping a diary?"
"No," Katya said somewhat defensively. A diary made it sound frivolous. That wasn't how it felt. Her journal had become so important to her. "Well, I dunno. Something like that. I suppose."
"You never did that before," Ellen noted as she walked toward her dresser to return a few pieces of clothing to the top drawer.
She looked down to hide any hint of judgment that might be apparent on her face.
"I know," Katya answered. "Someone suggested it to me," She added, purposefully avoiding the fact that it had been Laura's advice. "I've been trying to keep up with it."

Ellen nodded as she closed the drawer. Katya couldn't tell if she was suspicious of where the idea had come from. She scooted closer to the wall making room as Ellen made her way to the rack.

"Well, kit instead of writing all of your thoughts down in a diary why don't you share them with me like you used to?" Ellen asked as she removed her slippers. "My kind may have started out as machines but I have better conversation skills than your cuff's notepad," She teased with a smile.

Katya wasn't amused at the comparison.
"I'm not doing it for conversation. I'm just recording things so that I don't forget. This way it's all logged. And one day when I'm gone it might still even exist somehow on the network for someone to find and remember."

Ellen's brow lowered. She eased on to the bed and scooted closer to her daughter.
"For who to remember?"

Katya shrugged and shook her head.
"Anyone… Just so someone knows that I was here… and knows who and what I cared about," She proposed. "You know I haven't flown in months and I know that it's been a big relief to you but it's driving me crazy. I've never feared death while flying in Orbit. Never. What I really fear most…is being forgotten after I'm gone."

Ellen's lips parted in both confusion and sadness as her daughter spoke. She reached out, taking the girl's right wrist and thumbed soothingly at her soft unencumbered skin, free of the ever present gadget on her left.

"No one is going anywhere, baby. Not for a long, long time," She said softly. She watched Katya nod and then look away. All of the worry that she'd spent the last few days asking Saul to ignore was now flooding her too. She couldn't forget the frantic state Katya had been in when she'd asked to be taken to Anders. Something was wrong. No matter how much Katya insisted that she didn't want to talk about it Ellen couldn't help but search for some incite as to what was troubling her child. "Won't Alexi miss you if you sleep here?"

Katya shook her head and rubbed at her tired eyes.
"He went out for the night with Blaze. Besides I don't think he really wants to see me right now."
"Why not?"

Katya swallowed and looked up at the ceiling above the rack. Her throat tightened and she fought off the emotion that threatened. What was she supposed to say? That she'd awoken by her husband's side calling out another man's name? That she was dreaming of a stranger? That Alexi didn't want her back in their bed until she could come to terms with whatever it was that was interfering in every other part of their lives together? It all would have taken a dozen more confession just to explain.

"Things just got a little heated earlier. It's fine. I'm just giving him some space."
"What happened?"
"Aunt Ellen, please? I don't want to talk about it. I just want to sleep."
"Why do you want to stay here, Katya?" Ellen pressed.

Katya huffed and pushed herself up on her elbows. Her breasts were sore and swollen and anything that could have given her relief was left back in her quarters. She grimaced and quickly tried to hide her discomfort.
"I want to stay with you," She groused in frustration. "Maybe I'll actually sleep through the night if I stay here. You know I haven't been sleeping well."
"I know," Ellen relented.
"I always sleep better if you're with me."

Katya was being honest. Ellen was more than a comfort to her. She was a sense of security. She was home. To spite how honest and heartfelt Katya's words were she'd been manipulative with the way she said them; pouting like a little girl. It worked like a charm, inciting Ellen's protective and nurturing nature just as Katya had intended.
"I know, kitten. Just relax," Ellen told her as she tugged lightly at Katya's elbow, encouraging her to rest back on the pillows. "Well, maybe it would be a nice time to talk as long as you're here. We finally have some time alone."
"I told you that I don't want to talk. I just want to get some sleep."
"We don't have to talk about Lex," Ellen surrendered, trying to keep her voice neutral and calming. "But if you won't tell me about him then will you tell me what happened with Sam today? I think I deserve a little bit of an explanation. You sort of scared me today, Kat," She admitted.

Katya couldn't get mad at her for asking. She knew that she'd been acting like a lunatic before Ellen took her to see Sam. The way she ran out of his cabin must have set off about a dozen of Ellen's alarm bells. It wasn't fair to leave her totally in the dark.
"Nothing happened," Katya feebly attempted.

"Alright…then what was with the hysterics? Why did you have such a fit and decide so suddenly that you wanted to see him?"

"I dunno…"Katya struggled for a way to tell Ellen the truth without telling her all of it. "Because I was so sick of hearing about him asking for me and begging to see me. I'm so fucking sick of nothing constructive happening around here. I decided if that was what Sam needed to move on and finally do what he's here to do then I had to give that to him," She explained. At least it was a tiny slice of the truth. "Oh, and I wanted to tell him what a piece of shit I think he is for ignoring Margot."

Ellen cringed at the complexity of their issues. She had another troubled young girl to think of who was all alone miles and miles away. For the moment she had to deal with the one by her side.

"You ran out of there, Kat. Why?"

Katya gave her aunt a suspicious look and turned on to her side so that she didn't have to face her.
"I'm sure you talked to Sam when I left," She tested. "What did he say?"
"Nothing. It was…strange. He said that he was glad to have met you. He apologized for causing so much trouble. He told me that you were all that he could remember from his resurrection and that somehow seeing you again made him feel better. That's all he would say. He was blocking me. I couldn't read anything behind his words."
"Oh."
"What was all the shouting for if nothing happened?"

Katya raised a brow, now confident that Sam had kept their interactions a secret. She turned back to face the other woman.
"Well he's kind of an asshole, Ellen," She said matter-of-factly.

Ellen smiled and shook her head with a low chuckle.
"He's really not. He's a sweetheart if you get to know him."
"Well I don't want to get to know him." Katya bit her lip and looked down at the freshly laundered quilt. "Aunt Ellen…I know that you two were close back on your Earth but…did you two ever…"
"No," Ellen answered abruptly. "No, kitten. I know that's not very believable coming from me but it's true," She said plainly. Katya looked up at her and tried to mask the inexplicable relief that washed over her as Ellen continued. "He was just a dear friend and a trusted colleague. We flirted, of course. It was just friendly stuff. He worked closely with Uncle Saul at our labs. They considered each other good friends back then too. We were all close; Galen and Tori too. We all added something special and unique to our research and development and it transferred into our friendship as well. Then we all had such a long journey to the Colonies together. Sam and I were close. Very close. I could tell him pretty much anything."

Katya nodded and let out a breath she didn't know that she'd been holding in.
"Seems like Tawny's been spending some time with him."

The comment came out with more disdain that she'd expected and she almost blushed.
"Yes," Ellen said with a slight nod. "She has been."
Katya finally looked into her aunt's eyes to see her reaction.
"Think she's sleeping with him?"
"Well…I dunno, kit," Ellen answered. "Maybe."

She was aware of everyone who visited Sam and how often they came to him. She was well aware of how much Tawny had been in his cabin since she brought him to Alpha.
"Well she shouldn't be."

Katya's strange reaction had Ellen intrigued.
"Why not?"

Katya fumbled for a moment looking for a good enough answer.
"We resurrected him. He's supposed to be a savior of our civilization. We aren't supposed to be fucking these people."
"He's a man, sweetheart," Ellen purposefully countered, now curious as to what Katya's response would be. "He's flesh and bone. She's a woman."
"You seem like you want it to be true."
"Well, it crossed my mind before I even sent her to Delta," Ellen admitted.
"What?"
"I could have easily asked Xao to do me the favor and go treat Sam but it wouldn't have worked to calm him down. I know Sam Anders and I knew it would be a lot harder for him to turn away Tawny than some old man. She seems to have a way with him."
Katya turned onto her stomach and mumbled into the pillow with a huff.
"Kat, why do you care, exactly?"
"I don't."

Ellen narrowed her eyes. She put her hand on to Katya's back. Something wasn't right. She couldn't let it go. She had to say something.
"I'm worried about you and Lex, kitten."

Katya pushed up on the bed again.
"Don't be," She snapped but Ellen wasn't fazed by her sudden venom.
"Why shouldn't I be? I see how distracted and busy you two are. Now he's out drinking and you're over here sulking about…what? Tawny and Sam? What happened between you two?"
"I'm sulking?"
"Yes!"

Katya sat up all the way on the bed and straightened her posture.
"You don't have to worry about me and Lex, Aunt Ellen."
"But I do. And I always will. You're my kids. I can't help it," She said with a resigning shrug. "You two haven't been married a year yet. I know you don't like hearing this but you two are so young, Katya. Alexi hasn't even had is twenty-second birthday yet. Sometimes I wonder if you two were really ready to cope with married life. Maybe Uncle Saul and I should have encouraged you to hold off."

Katya's anger flared.
"Ellen how dare you question my marriage. You know that we…"
"I don't doubt your love for each other, kitten," Ellen interrupted, attempting to snuff out Katya's growing temper. "I never have. Not at all. I've been able to read it in you both for years. I know how deep that love is. But I also know how deeply I love Uncle Saul and I would just hate to see you two hurt each other the way he and I did for so long."

Katya shook her head. This was out of control. She hardly knew anything for certain but she knew that she loved her husband.
"I love Alexi. I love him and nothing will ever change that. He's the only person in my life whose love I've never had to question for a moment. Do you understand that? Over the years I've had to ask myself if my father ever really loved me. I even doubted you and Uncle Saul when you first took me in. There has been one person in my life whose love I've never questioned for a moment and that's Alexi. You don't need to worry about my marriage, Aunt Ellen. That's one thing in my life I'm not afraid to lose. Death couldn't take that away from me," Katya finished with stinging tears in her eyes.

Ellen nodded over and over in understanding. She reached out and squeezed Katya's hand in apology.

"I'm sorry, kitten. You're right."

"I'm just giving him time to cool down over a stupid misunderstanding. I can go back to my cabin if you want. I'm not here just because of Lex. I wanted to be with you more than I wanted to be away from him."
"Okay. Okay, kit. I'm sorry. You know that I just want to see you happy."

Katya let her temper fade and after a moment her shoulders fell limp.

"Happy," She echoed quietly.
"Yes, happy," Ellen answered, forcing a smile.

Katya licked at her lips.
"I'd settle for not being afraid," She whispered.

It broke Ellen's heart.
"I wish I could take that fear away, Kat. For all of you. I hate that you've never lived without it."

Katya scooted back so that her shoulders rested on the rack wall. She let her eyes unfocus as they settled on some random spot in the room.
"Nothing's happening is it, Aunt Ellen? Roslin, the Admiral, Sam, Helo…all of them. It didn't work. We needed Alexi's parents. Didn't we?"

Ellen hated hearing the fear and desperation in Katya's voice but at least she understood it. When Saul brought up the girl's strange behavior it was fear that Ellen had blamed it on. Maybe she'd been right. Maybe it was all coming from a life lived in trepidation.
"We don't know that yet," She said as she reached out and put a hand on Katya's knee.

It didn't work to regain the young woman's focus. She still looked so far away as she spoke.
"Then why is everything getting worse instead of better?"

Ellen took a deep breath in. She didn't have much of an answer for her.
"Sometimes life almost has to shatter before it can even start to get better. I've seen it before."

Katya finally gave Ellen her eyes.

"You've seen so much."
"Yeah, kitten. I have."

Katya nodded and then paused in what looked like contemplation.
"Can I ask you something?"
"Anything, baby."
"You've seen people die and then resurrect...leave this side and come back. You've lived your own life about four times over."

Katya knew that it wasn't really a question but it was a start.
"I guess I have," Ellen offered.
"In all that time did you ever witness someone come back totally different?"

Ellen sat up in bed as she considered the question. She thought for a moment before answering.
"Well I've told you how John really frakked with my recall when he put me on the Colonies. I had memories of a family that never existed, memories of places I never lived, friends I never had. And all of my true memories were missing; Earth, my father, being married for the first time, Uncle Saul and the life and careers we once built together. It was all gone. I was still myself but John took away a lot of the good in me. I was me during my life on the Twelve Colonies but I wasn't all of me," Ellen explained. "But those parts were there. They were just hidden and when I came back the next time I was myself again. I truly felt like me again."
"No…no." Katya said shaking her head. She cringed partly because she hated hearing all that Ellen had been through and partly because she knew that she wasn't explaining herself correctly. She just didn't know how. "I guess I don't mean that."
"I don't understand."
"I don't know," Katya huffed with some frustration. "Did you ever…" She hesitated and started over with a more specific example. "Did you ever see a cylon's consciousness come back to a different body?"

Ellen looked perplexed but she nodded.
"They were all different, sweetie. That's how it worked. Their bodies died and so they needed new ones, different ones that were new and healthy."
"No. I mean could the consciousness of, let's say a Six, ever be downloaded into the body of a maybe an Eight? Even by mistake, maybe? So that when they came back they didn't look or even feel like themselves?"

Ellen tilted her head. She didn't understand what Katya was getting at.
"No. No we didn't design it that way. The body and the mind were connected. It's the way we configured it. It seemed like the right thing to do back then. Believe me. There was a time when I tried to find a way around it."

Katya paused. She looked up at the other women and found pain in her eyes.

"You mean with Daniel?"

Ellen just nodded.
"You tried to bring him back?" Katya asked in a whisper. It was like she was afraid that saying it louder would hurt Ellen more. "Without his body?"

She watched her aunt's eyes water and hated herself for a moment. She shouldn't have brought it up.
"I did. I tried…not for long but I tried," Ellen admitted.

Katya felt her face flush and her heart sink. She never could bear to hear Saul and Ellen speak of Liam or Daniel. The sadness in they both carried was too deep. She could only imagine how powerful the pain must have been to have lasted so very long.

"I'm sorry," She breathily offered.

Ellen took a deep breath and went on.

"It was so hard to let him go. I realized pretty quickly that without his DNA, without his body there was no way to bring him back. I hadn't really left any loopholes for myself. John knew that. Daniel was just gone…body…consciousness. He was gone. All I had left was his memory…but I still have that," She said with a sad smile, forcing herself to compose her thoughts. "When the centurions found me and Uncle Saul down on the surface of this Earth I was confused. But when they took me to the basestar and I heard the hybrid's message about what we were meant to do; I knew she was telling me that human resurrection would be the same as I had designed it for cylons. That's why we had to go back to Galactica and get their DNA. I needed to clone those bodies to get the right people back," Ellen explained with finality. "I believe the mind and body are totally connected."

Katya nodded and then scooted away from the wall and closer to Ellen's side again.
"But…what about the soul?"
"The soul?"

"You said mind and body are connected so what about the soul? Is that the same?"

Ellen pondered for a moment, confused as to what Katya meant.

"I dunno, baby. Why?"

"I…I don't know."
"Honey why are you asking me all of this? Are you worried that Sam isn't who he says he is? Because as strange as he's acting I can assure you, kitten, that's him."
"No. I know it's him. I was just thinking."

Katya lay back down against the pillow and the two rested quietly for a few moments.
"Aunt Ellen why couldn't you clone Starbuck?"

Ellen yawned and stretched a bit before answering.
"You know, Kat. Her DNA sample wasn't viable."
"Why?"

Ellen rubbed at her temples. She had Saul had each told the story dozens of times before.
"I still don't know. Uncle Saul and I couldn't figure it out. Le Blanc didn't know what the frak she was looking at. Kara's sample just didn't contain any identifiable genetic material. It was like it vanished from the actual blood."
"But how?"
"I don't know that either, Katya. We had it aboard the basestar for thousands of years. I suppose it didn't preserve like the others. Or maybe something happened to it before I ever got my hands on it. Maybe back on Glactica. Le Blanc and I worked on it for years. I honestly don't have a good explanation for it but I couldn't bring Kara back without her body. D'Anna was our next best option. Uncle Saul believed it was the right choice. We were wasting time trying to clone something from nothing. We had to give up on Starbuck." Ellen could remember the frustration and utter disappointment she'd felt when they finally had to accept that Kara wouldn't be brought back. "Look, Kat…I know you're worried that we're missing Caprica and Kara and Baltar. I did what I could. And if that's what winds up failing us then I'll die with the weight of an entire people on my back. I should have gotten a better sample of Kara's DNA. I should have kept the bodies safe on Gamma Station. I should have done a lot of things differently I guess. I'll die knowing that I was the one who failed if their absence truly ruins this…but I just don't believe that it will. I believe in the people who we did bring back. I believe they can help to spite our setbacks and to spite the way things seem now. "
Ellen spoke as confidently and steadily as she could. Deep down she knew that all of the confidence in the galaxy probably couldn't convince the twenty-two year old war ravaged mind beside her to believe but she would never stop trying.

"What if we never get back down to Earth?"
"Katya I've told you a hundred times. I didn't hang around for all this time just to lose. I need you to trust me. I'm promising you," She said forcefully taking hold of one of Katay's hands. "Remember what I told you? We have plans, baby. When we get down there I'm taking you to a real honest to gods beach. Real sand, real sunshine and you'll see how our projections, as special as they have been, could never do such a place justice. I'm going to watch you in the water for the very first time with a smile on my face. That will be my reward."

Katya was silent for a few long moments. She finally replied when Ellen gave her hand another firm squeeze.
"I won't know how to swim," She said simply.

Ellen lowered her brow for a moment in thought and then shook her head.
"Don't you worry about that, baby."

"Aunt Ellen?"
"Hm?"
"I'm so tired."

Katya's voice sounded a light-year away.
"Turn over," Ellen encouraged, giving her a gentle nudge. Out of years of habit Katya turned on to her stomach right away. Ellen began to soothingly rub at her back. After a few moments she began to speak again abandoning all talk of resurrections and hypotheticals. "I'm inviting Bill and Laura to dinner on New Year's Day." As she said the words she felt the tendons in Katya's back immediately tense up. "Maybe Sharon and Helo too," She added to help smooth over her unexpected announcement.
"You're inviting Laura here?"
"Yes," Ellen answered casually as if Katya had no reason to be surprised.
"Why? So you two can ruin the holiday for everyone?" Katya accused, attempting to lean up on her forearms.
"We won't," Ellen insisted. She gently pushed the girl back down against the mattress and continued caress her shoulders. "You have my word."

Katya was silent and Ellen couldn't help but test her reaction.

"Don't you want her here, kit?"

Katya rolled her eyes and nuzzled her face deeper into the pillow.
"Is that a trick question?" She mumbled.
"No, sweetie. It's not," Ellen answered as she ran her fingers in a figure eight across Katya's back. "It will be like every year. Just family."
"Just family."

Ellen smiled at the girl's repetition.
"Yup."

Katya nodded without a word. She remembered how Laura had made her a similar pledge of peace just a night before. She wondered what could have possibly changed for both women. At first she thought it would be strange to have the added guests present during a ritual family gathering but the more she thought about it the more relieved she became that they wouldn't all be apart.
"Lex and I have something for you and Uncle Saul," She said after a while.

"Oh yeah? A gift?"
"Sort of," Katya shrugged. The idea of a larger guest list was growing on her but she wanted a private moment with her parents to share the secret she and Alexi still kept. They owed Saul and Ellen that. "Is it okay if we set aside some time before everyone comes over?"
"Yeah. Sure, kitten. We'll have a toast, just the four of us before everyone comes over. How's that?"
"Yeah. Okay."

Ellen stopped her fingers from roaming the expanse of Katya's back and instead started to play with her hair. She twirled long silky locks through her fingers and braided and unbraided little sections as she lay there. It was something she'd done since Katya was young. It had started as a way to familiarize herself the with the little girl's hair. After Katya's adoption Ellen suddenly had the task of getting her ready every morning for school and fixing her hair in various styles for ballet lessons and performances. She would practice when Katya was quite and still; either reading or playing games on the network. She would brush and dry her hair after showers and braid it before bedtime. Soon Ellen had mastered the art but she found herself still twirling and playing with Katya's hair all the time as they watched videos with each other on the sofa or as she read to her at night before bed. It had become a comforting habit for both of them. It still was.

One day Ellen realized that Katya had picked up the habit. It was evident in the way she brushed and played with Laura's hair in the lab during times she was out of stasis. Ellen had tried to ignore it back then. Now she couldn't deny the connection anymore.

"Oh and something else, baby… I want you and Lex to go to the New Year's Eve party at Senchi tomorrow night." Katya didn't answer. For a moment Ellen thought that she might have already fallen to sleep. "Kit? Did you hear me?"

Katya finally groaned into the mattress showing her utter annoyance with the request.
"Yes. I heard you and I have no desire to spend the first moments of the new year in a crowded bar. Especially one filled with dozens of drunken soldiers who don't know if they're going to live to see more than a week of it."
"Don't talk like that, Kat."
"It's true. It's depressing. I don't want to watch people drinking to forget our grim future or lack thereof."
"You can't think that way. You have to celebrate and be hopeful."
"I want to be hopeful, Aunt Ellen. You don't know how much." Katya knew that Alexi had been dead on with his earlier accusations and she was ashamed. No matter how relieved and happy she was to hear Tawny's news that morning she didn't honestly believe there would be a future for long enough to enjoy it. "I wish I saw more of a reason to be."
"C'mon. You kids deserve a night of fun and I want to see you all enjoying one another's company."

Katya shook her head in defiance.
"I don't want to. Besides, we'll miss Margot."
"No. You won't.," Ellen insisted. "You won't have to."

"Huh?"
Ellen sighed.
"At 0700 I have a shuttle to the basestar. I'm taking Sydra with me. We aren't coming back without her. I promise you that she'll be here tomorrow night. Even if I have to get two centurions to drag her off of that frakking ship kicking and screaming. She needs her family. She's not doing any good to anyone over there. I'm removing her for her own good."
"And what's Sydra supposed to be? Bate?"
"In a way," Ellen admitted. "Margot loves her. I want to show her that she isn't just punishing herself."

"Well if she thinks you're going to make her see Anders and D'Anna she'll never come."
"I have no intention of doing that, Kat. I'm done forcing anymore familial connections. We both know that doesn't work. Has to happen on its own. Doesn't it?"

Katya ignored the implication. Ellen seemed to be showcasing her new acceptance of Laura and she didn't know how to respond to it yet.

"Are you still keeping what D'Anna did from the others?" She asked.

Ellen sighed and lay down beside her daughter cuddling up at her back.
"There still isn't any reason to let the military know, sweetie. I'm sorry to ask you to lie to Cmdr. Kaplan but I can't see it doing any good."
"I guess."

"But Uncle Saul did tell Bill today."
"He did?"
"Mmhm. I'm sure that Laura will know soon enough and I'm going to tell Sharon that she doesn't have to keep it from Helo anymore. It won't change anything but it's not fair to ask that of her anymore. He's her husband."
"It's hard keeping secrets from people that you love," Katya yawned.
Ellen nodded into her hair and gave her a knowing kiss on the back of her head.
"I'm having Margot's things sent here from Delta. I've arranged a temporary spot for her in the barracks but she's welcome to stay here in your old room if she wants. She won't be in any trouble for neglecting her duty on Delta since she was on the basestar under my authority. Kaplan will find a spot for her. She's a valuable asset. It's all settled. I'll bring her back, kit."
"If you say so. Good luck."
"You'll go then? You'll go have a good time at Senchi if I promise she'll be there?"

"I'll talk to Alexi," Katya breathily relented.

"That's my girl," Ellen said with a smile. "I think it will be good for you. You'll get dressed up and dance. It could be the last time any of us get to for a while. Maybe we should all embrace it," She considered with a yawn of her own.
"I'm tired," Katya mumbled once again.
"I know, baby. Ya know you've been actively blocking me for so long now. I would think that you'd be exhausted all of the time just keeping that up. It takes so much energy. With everything else you have to do you shouldn't be wasting your efforts on hiding...just…please promise me it's not always going to be like this."
"I promise."

It was strange but Ellen believed her.
"Goodnight, my baby."
"Spoki," Katya sleepily answered as she drifted off.

Ellen smiled to herself. Since Katya was a child she would sometimes get her linguistics confused when she was overtired. Ellen always found it adorable whether she understood what she was saying or not. She gave the girl another kiss, this time to the temple. She said a silent prayer that Katya would find comfort by her side all night and rest well within a dreamless sleep.
Katya did rest. She never so much as stirred or turned under the sheets. For once her mind slumbered with her body.

Though Ellen's prayers for her child were answered she didn't sleep as soundly. She took on all of Katya's worries and fears. She absorbed every promise and vow she'd made and it all followed her into her sleep. That night Ellen was the one who dreamed.
It started pleasantly at first. It was almost welcome. Ellen knew that she was dreaming. The space that she was in wasn't real. At least it hadn't been for millennia. She was relaxing in her favorite spot; the pebbled beach under the warm amber sun. She lay on a lounge chair as usual, soaking in the last of the afternoon rays. By her side Katya sat atop a red blanket. She appeared not as young women but as Ellen had first met her; no more than seven years old. She looked as sweet and innocent as she had back when Ellen first started projecting the space for her. It used to calm her fits and ease her fears and Ellen was so happy to share it. Ellen thought it strange to see Katya so young. Occasionally they would still project the special shoreline together. Now that Katya was grown they would each take in the artificial sun and simply relax side by side. At first Ellen was puzzled as to why Katya would appear to her as a child but as she watched the girl playing with some beach toys looking happy and content she found that she no longer cared. She was glad to have her baby by her side.
Soon the late day sun became too bright. Ellen squinted against the powerful glow. She tried to change the scene, willing the projection to adjust to her liking but it didn't work. She then remembered that she wasn't projecting at all. This time it was a dream and she had no control over the sun or its rays. She closed her eyes and hoped that a cloud might roll in soon to mute the harsh glare. After a few moments she felt a light tapping at her sun-warmed shoulder.
"Can I go collect sea shells?" A little voice asked at her side.
Ellen shielded her brow from the light with her hand and looked up at the sweet face peering down at her. Katya was almost a silhouette against the glowing sky.
"You're done playing, kitten?" Ellen asked.

Her projection of the beach had been Katya's first exposure to an ocean shore. Besides pictures on the network she hardly understood what one was before seeing Ellen's creation. At first it had been enough for the little girl to just sit and marvel at the view. She loved to play in the sand and feel its alien texture against her skin. Eventually Ellen added little beach toys to the projection so that Katya had something more to occupy herself with. Those first few precious times it was more than ample to keep the child's attention but soon she'd asked to explore. Eventually Ellen decided to project dozens of sea shells along the shore for Katya to find and collect. The little girl, born in Orbit, had never seen anything like them. She found joy in gathering the specimens in a little bucket and bringing them back to the blanket show off. In the safety of her fantasy scene Ellen could let Katya wander with no fear of threatening waves or menacing strangers.
"I'm not done," The girl explained. "I made a space ship out of sand. I want to find a starfish for it."
"A ship? Well then why do you need a starfish, honey?" Ellen said with apparent amusement.
"Because it's a basestar," Katya answered confidently.
Ellen laughed at the clarification and shook her head.
"Well that sure explains it," She teased. For a moment she squinted harder trying to see the detail of Katya's face against the sun. She always loved to compare the blue of her eyes with the blue of the ocean. The light was still too bright. "Go ahead, baby. Have fun."

She smiled as the girl ran off with her bucket and then eased herself back against the lounge chair.

After what seemed like a quite a while Ellen finally felt the sun start to fade and dip below the clouds. She opened her eyes and found that she could see much better. A quick look around showed no sign of Katya. She couldn't see her by the shore line or up by the rocky dunes. She even checked the surf though she knew Katya would never dare go into such a strange body of water without her. Ellen called out for her, sure that the girl would appear when she heard her name. When she didn't reply Ellen began to worry. The sun seemed to be lowering down to the horizon far too quickly. She tried to stop it. When it didn't work her heart sunk. She remembered for a second time; this wasn't her projection. She had no control. She'd forgotten. Were there even shells on the shore for Katya to find? An oppressing sense of foolishness and guilt consumed Ellen's whole being. Suddenly her peaceful shore felt foreign and treacherous. The sun continued to set. She called for her daughter again and again as the light proceeded to fade. She scoured the beach back and forth. She kept shouting for the girl even when her throat was raw. When the sky was finally black she fell to her knees. Katya was gone. She let rocks and broken shells within the sand dig into her flesh and she let herself cry for her baby.

If you remember, like and still want to read the rest of this story let me know. Questions and requests can be answered via PM. Thanks so much for your time!

E-Fed Translations

Nyet- No

Dah- Yes

"Dah, malysh. GaDsi'tsah." -Yes babe, that's good

"Okei. Poost buDzet poTvohyemuh, myshka." -Okay as you wish, my little mouse.

"Spokoineh noche, Vladi," She mumbled – Goodnight, Vladi

"Porshai, mamochka." – Goodbye, mama.

"Porshai, Vladi,"- Goodbye, Vladi.

"Katya look at me. What's going on? Schtoh sluchilys? What's wrong?" -Whats the matter?

Lubuv moya- My love

Alexi zatknis'! Zakroi rot!- Shut up! Shut your mouth!

"Prastinitye, Katya. Go on. Speak then." –I'm sorry.

"Ya tebya lyublyu, malysh." - I love you, baby.

"Myshka lyublyu tebya vsem sertsem, vs'ey dushOyu. I love you with everything I have." - I love you with all of my heart, all of my soul.

"Spasibo, malysh. Spasibo, pasiki. Pozhaluysta, ne ostanavlivaysya ." -Thank you, my love, Thank you thank you don't stop.

Pod'yom!" He barked rather harshly. – Get up!

"Alexi, prosti , detka, ya ne khotel vas obidet!" -I'm sorry baby I never meant to hurt you.

"Spoki"- G'night.

E-Rep Translations

Juéjiàng – stubborn.

Chapter 30: Chapter 30

Chapter Text

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR C

MED WARD

YEAR: 2315

"It isn't that I don't trust you, Doctor. It's just that my arm still hurts. Last night it woke me out of a deep sleep."

Sharon's mysterious discomfort had yet to leave her. The pain in her arm would come and go when it pleased. After her first visit to the ward she'd lied to Helo about it getting better. She lied to Blaze too when he messaged her to ask how she was feeling. There seemed to be no medical reason for her pain and so she tried to ignore it. When it only got worse she made another appointment with Dr. Xao.

"You have my sympathies, Lt. Agathon but I'm unable to detect a cause. There is no indication of trauma to the area in the soft tissue scans or the bone scan. Your nerve conduction test came back normal. There is no sign of neuropathy. This is the second time you've been here for this. Both exams showed that you're very healthy."

Sharon couldn't believe it but she was actually disappointed that nothing was wrong.

"I guess I'm glad to hear that but that doesn't take the pain away."

"I understand," Xao answered with a slight nod.

"So now what?" She asked with a heavy sigh.

The doctor took his tablet out of his pocket. With a quick swipe he turned it on and brought up her chart.

"Lieutenant, may I ask you, did you have any injuries to the area in your past?" He inquired without looking up.

Sharon heisted to answer.

"I mean…" She stumbled, surprised at his questioning. She'd been trying to push the images out of her mind for days. Every time the strange sharp sting in her forearm made itself known she would flash to being on her knees in the CIC. She would remember taking a blade to her own flesh and feeding in the cable that would send out a virus meant to kill dozens of her own kind. Every time the spot mysteriously throbbed she would remember another time when she sat in the back of a raptor, the same arm cut again, this time hooked to a cable feeding into the dismembered brain of a raider and into the Colonial ship. She had just been told that her baby was gone and yet there she sat next to her husband making sure the recon mission to Caprica was possible and his people were saved yet again. During the mission she had focused on the pain in her arm to distract herself from the pain of losing Hera. She would never forget either sensation. "Maybe," Sharon admitted to the doctor. "But this isn't the same body."

"Believe me," Xao said looking up from her chart with a knowing smile, "I am aware. I helped Dr. Bishop make this one," He told her proudly recounting the days when he and his peers were in the first stages of Ellen's project.

"So what are you saying?" Sharon frowned. "This is all in my head?"

"I don't mean it in such a manner," Xao promptly defended. "Please don't think  I'm implying that you may be unbalanced in any way."

Sharon shook her head.

"Well, what am I supposed to think if you're saying my pain doesn't exist?" She countered.

Sharon knew that she sounded overly offended but inside she was starting to feel like he was right and she might very well be crazy.

"I believe your pain exists, Lieutenant. You feel it. That's enough evidence for me."

Sharon's lips parted in confusion.

"So what are you saying then, Doctor?"

"I do have a theory," Xoa answered. "But it's just that; only a theory."

She shrugged and dropped her arms to her side.

"I'd like to hear it."

Xao nodded curtly.

"You say that you had an injury to the area before."

"Yes," Sharon relented. "I suppose I did."

"Was it serious?"

"No. Not dangerous if that's what you mean."

Dr. Xao looked down at his tablet again and made a quick note before looking back at her.

"Is the memory of it significant? Is it something you think of often?"

Sharon grimaced. She didn't like where he was going with his questioning. She wanted the pain to be real. She wanted it to be fixed with a pill or a shot.

"Why?" She said a bit defensively.

"Well, Lieutenant it isn't uncommon for phantom pains and sensations to develop from residual stress over traumatic events. The mind still holds the memory of the pain and then recreates it within the body. Subsequently one may feel as if a past injury is physically manifesting long after the actual event has occurred."

"That sure sounds like you're calling me crazy," Sharon argued.

"Not at all."

She let out a frustrated huff and began to rub at the spot on her skin again.

"The pain woke me up last night, Dr. Xao. I wasn't dreaming of an old injury. I was sleeping soundly. I woke up and I felt like my arm was sliced open."

"I'm not through," The doctor announced, holding up his index finger. "You see my colleagues and I waited many years for Ellen Tigh to resurrect you and your cohorts. In that time we had the great privilege to study your bodies; some of the only examples of pure cylon neurology in existence. You and your husband; a pure colonial are responsible for the fact that my own people all have some measure of both races in our DNA. Though my people may be distantly cylon my partners and I were able to learn so much more about cylon physiology from you and your peers; Mr. Anders, Ms. Biers…"

"So you used us as lab rats?" Sharon accused.

"We looked to you to learn more about ourselves," Xao coolly defended. "Saul and Ellen Tigh, Mr. Anders, your creators as they were; they did a wonderful job designing you. Your brain and physical makeup is virtually unidentifiable from their own. It's also almost indistinguishable from Colonials like your husband but there are some key factors which make you two different from one another. For instance, something you passed down to your son; projection," The doctor went on. "As a cylon you have more than just the capacity of imagination. Your brain is programmed to allow you to perceive your environment in any way you choose. I've observed this in your son who inherited the ability. I've seen it in Capt. Isakoff to a lesser degree. The Tighs believe her capabilities came from DNA Ms. Roslin was given from your half cylon daughter."

Sharon rubbed at her forehead at his mention of Hera. She was happy to be with her son but she missed her daughter. She was aching and frustrated. Xao just seemed to be getting further from the point.

"What does any of this have to do with my arm ?" She nearly snapped. "Projection is voluntary."

"Is it? Is it always?" The old man challenged. For a moment Sharon couldn't answer him. Sometimes her projections and dreams did mix. She remembered the visions she’d shared with Caprica Six and Laura Roslin. She'd never been sure what to call them. They were too real to be dreams but too out of her control to be projections. When she didn't answer the doctor continued. "Your brain is remarkable, but as I said, it's not too different from that of a Colonial or Earth Human. Humans can feel phantom or residual pains from past traumatic events. Now if their minds are powerful enough to make them believe they are feeling physical harm that has long since past then wouldn't that phenomenon be even more powerful in a cylon who can vividly project their entire surroundings? You could be projecting the pain intentionally or not but my guess is it feels as real as the day it happened."

Sharon let his words sink in for a moment and bit her lip in thought. She was getting angry. Dr. Xao looked pleased with his analysis but she wanted his help not his theory.

"I want it to stop," She said flatly.

The man nodded sympathetically.

"That's harder for me to help you with," He reluctantly admitted. "I'm afraid giving you a local anesthetic wouldn't do very much good. It may numb the area but not the capability of your mind to create the pain. I don't think pain pills would help in any way either."

His words were interrupted when the curtain rustled.

"Excuse me," Tawny said as she stuck her head into the exam room. She smiled at Sharon and then looked toward her father. "Daddy, I'm going to head out. I want to get ready and…"

"You go ahead," Xao said, waving her off. "Have a good time."

Though he depended on his daughter greatly he was glad to finally give her some time off for the New Year's Eve party at Senchi. She deserved a night to celebrate.

"Sorry to interrupt," Tawny said giving Sharon an apologetic smile.

"It's alright. Your father was just letting me know that I'm crazy," Sharon remarked with a roll of her eyes.

Xao frowned and shook his head.

"I didn't say that."

Noticing the tension in the room Tawny let herself the rest of the way through the curtain and made sure it closed behind her.

"Dad, didn't you suggest Gu’ma Li An?" The younger doctor posed.

"I was just getting to that," Her father answered. "I hope you don't mind, Lt. Agathon, I conferred with my daughter over your case the first time you came in. She's aware of your current discomfort. She may have a solution for you."

Sharon shrugged.

"I'm open to suggestions."

Tawny smiled again, hoping to ease the air in the room.

"Well," She began to explain in her calming and friendly manner, "my father's sister is a civilian physician. Her practices are just more…well let's call them holistic."

Tawny looked to her father and let him continue the explanation.

"My sister still practices ancient medicine from our family's old sector on Earth. She combines modern medicine with centuries old Eastern Republic wellness traditions. Her ways can be very helpful at times."

Sharon looked back and forth between the father and daughter. They seemed eager to help. She just couldn't shake the feeling that nothing they suggested would work.

Tawny tried another smile to ease the tension.

"Blaze even has some of his PT patients see her," She added, hoping the mention of Sharon's son would help to open her mind to the practice. "You can ask him. She's great. I think that she might really be able to help you; perhaps with some acupuncture."

Sharon's eyes went wide at the word.

"Puncture? That seems like more pain."

Tawny giggled a bit and shook her head.

"It's not as violent as it sounds. Trust me. It attempts to heal mind, body and soul. From the sounds of it your issue may be stemming from more than just body. If my aunt can get you to relax and redirect the old memory of your pain perhaps the sensation might disappear."

Sharon let out a breath. She wanted to go home and tell Helo that she was healed. Now she would have to really explain things to him.

"I don't know."

Tawny nodded in understanding.

"If you decide to give her a try I would be happy to set it up for you. Ellen and Katya see her now and then. We all do. Ask around," She said as she turned to leave. She stopped at the curtain and looked over her shoulder. "Will I see you and Cpt. Agathon tonight at the party? Blaze would love it if you both came out."

Sharon almost didn't hear her.

"Uh…yeah…yeah maybe."

"Great," The young physician said with a smile before looking toward her father. "I'm heading out, Daddy. You be sure to message me if you need anything at all."

"Go Tawny," He told her. "Be young."

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

C CORRIDOR

YEAR: 2315

"I've arranged a temporary bunk for you in first officer's barracks with Cmdr. Kaplan's help," Ellen told Margot as they continued their walk from C-deck.

Sydra had made the trip to the basestar with Ellen as planned. Getting Margot off of the cylon ship had been no small feat for the pair but they'd returned with her as planned. Once they disembarked the heavy raider aboard Alpha Station Sydra hurried back to the lab for her shift leaving a sullen Margot alone with Ellen Tigh.

"You make sure and thank the commander when you see him, Margot. I may have had a hand in convincing him to help but he didn't have to. He arranged for your transfer so that I didn't have to deal with Delta Station and he's working on finding you new orders aboard Alpha," Ellen explained as they walked.

Margot's face was dour and cross as she kept pace with Ellen.

"What happened to the orders I applied for?"

Ellen sighed and shook her head.

"Margot, you locked yourself aboard the basestar for almost two weeks. I covered for you, told your superiors that you were working aboard the ship on my behalf but you left your station with a big hole to fill while you were gone and now you're not even returning. You're lucky they didn't decide to press me for details. They could have labeled you AWOL, you know," Ellen added in a tense whisper making Margot cringe. "You're here now. You'll take whatever position Kaplan can find for you. I don’t care if it’s mopping the deck."

"I guess I have no choice."

"No. You sure don't."

"Did you really take me off of that ship just to give me grief?"

"I took you off of that ship to bring you home, Margot," Ellen said as the two turned a corner. With a huff she stopped and grabbed the young woman by the wrist. "Look at me," She prompted. Margot waited for a passerby to move on down the hallway before she complied and gave Ellen her eyes. "I mean it," Ellen said firmly. "Alpha is your home now. You can act like you're angry about it but we both know this is where you've wanted to be for a long time." She watched as Margot rolled her eyes and look away again. "If you're angry at me then…well, I can take that," Ellen said in a softer tone. "Maybe you have a right to be. Maybe I should have taken you here sooner...maybe years ago."

Her apologetic tenor made Margot look at her once again.

"What do you mean?"

Ellen bit her lip and forced some threatening tears away.

"We adopted Katya as soon as we found out about the four of you because she had no one," She recounted, thinking back over fifteen years. "Then years later we took guardianship of the boys when their fathers passed. Sometimes I think you feel like we left you…and maybe you're right."

Saul and Ellen had never felt the need to take in Margot. Though Michelle Le Blanc had her faults the child seemed well adjusted. Had she needed a guardian they would have wasted no time in bringing her aboard Alpha and into their care but that just wasn't the case. The other three children had lost their only guardians. Thankfully no harm had ever come to the doctor who'd raised her. As Margot got older Ellen did her best to give her special attention. As the only pure cylon child living in Orbit Ellen felt a connection to her. She did what she could; taking Margot aboard the basestar for special trips, teaching her more about who and what she was, but sometimes Ellen felt like it wasn't enough. Sometimes Margot seemed jealous of Katya. Now after the disappointing download of her biological parents and the apparent emotional abandonment of her adoptive mother, Ellen could understand why.

"Ellen…" Margot started but she interrupted her.

"You had a mother, Margot. Alive and well. I couldn't find a good enough reason to take you from her. I couldn't justify disrupting your life like that but maybe…maybe I should have. I did what I could to spend time with you. I took you aboard the basestar and tried to show you what it meant to be a cylon. I thought it was enough. Maybe it wasn't. Maybe I should have done whatever I could to keep you kids together and close to me. I thought you were happy where you were. Maybe I was wrong."

"Ellen, why are you suddenly beating yourself up about this now?"

Ellen put her hands to her hips and swallowed.

"I've known Michelle Le Blanc a long time. I always thought that she was doing a good job with you. Maybe I just trusted her because it was easier that way," She shrugged and sighed. "I know that she's been distant since your parents resurrected. I know that you probably feel abandoned in a way. Saul and I would have never made you feel like that. Not ever."

Ellen's tone was apologetic and filled with unsure regret. Margot thought that she almost looked a bit ashamed.

"Ellen, my mom is who she is. Don't blame yourself because she's a cold bitch."

"D'Anna blames me," The older woman said without missing a beat.

"What?"

"After I brought her here to Alpha she asked me why I didn't take care of you. She asked why I wouldn't have taken care of the only pure blooded cylon child living in this world. I gave her the same explanation I just gave you. She didn't think it was good enough. Maybe she's right. Maybe it wasn't."

Margot scowled and shook her head.

"Ellen, D'Anna is a lunatic. Don't listen to her. She doesn't know me and she doesn't know what would have been best for me."

"Is she wrong?"

Margot huffed. She didn't know. Her life with her adoptive mother hadn't been all bad. It was just strange. Ellen was right in a way. Sometimes she felt left out. Sometimes she was jealous of Katya, as odd as the Tighs could be. At any rate she didn't want the couple to blame themselves. They'd done nothing wrong as far as she was concerned.

"D’Anna is wrong to blame you. All you've ever done is try to help," Margot answered. "I'm sorry for acting like a brat. Just know that I'm grateful to be here now. " She watched Ellen with a hopeful expression. "Okay?" She tested.

Ellen finally nodded.

After a moment Margot looked down at her boots.

"You're not going to make me see her are you? D'Anna?"

Ellen swallowed the rest of her emotion and shook her head.

"No. No. Not if you don't want to. But if you ever decide that you do want to see her, I know that she would very much like to see you," She appealed. Margot gave her a short nod and the two resumed walking. "We'll get you're cuff exchanged soon," Ellen said, picking up their dropped conversation. For now you're going to have deal with limited access. Oh and…I know I told you that you have a rack waiting for you, and I know that you probably won't even use it but if you and Sydra get tired of squeezing into her bunk know that Katya's old room is yours whenever you need it."

"Thanks, Ellen."

"I'm leaving you hear at admin," Ellen announced as they approached the office hatch. "You know the drill. They'll get everything in order for you and put in the request for your new cuff."

"Okay."

"And one more thing; you and Sydra are going to the New Year's party tonight at Senchi," Ellen added before she turned to leave.

"I'm not sure I'm up for that," Margot answered.

She was in no mood for a party.

Ellen walked back a few paces and put her hand on the young woman's shoulder.

"Sweetie, you need a little human contact after being held up with centurions and Lucy for all that time."

"Hey the hybrid is better company than some people I know," Margot attempted to kid.

Ellen rolled her eyes.

"I mean it. I want you to have a nice time tonight. I promised Kat that you would be there. Don't make a liar out of me. Take Sydra dancing. Have a few too many drinks and have fun with your friends. Understand?"

Margot clucked her tongue and nodded.

"Yes, Ma'am."

Ellen gave her a satisfied but tired smile. The day had already drained her but she was determined to see the people who she loved have a nice night together.

"And," She added with further emphasis. "Family dinner tomorrow at the cabin to celebrate the New Year. Sydra is welcome."

"Thanks."

Ellen gave Margot a smile, pleased that it hadn't taken any more convincing. She was exhausted after the basestar and done with the heavy persuasion.

"Kat says she has a big gift for me," She decided to share with some tempered excitement. "She won't tell me until tomorrow."

Margot's lips turned up into a knowing bowed grin.

"Oh, I wouldn't miss that for anything."

Her insight perked Ellen's curiosity.

"You know what it is then?"

"Yes, Ma'am," Margot asserted proudly.

"Hint?" Ellen tried.

"No way," Margot chuckled.

With a relenting but contented huff Ellen gave the girl a wink and turned to leave her.

"I'll see you tonight," She said with a wave over her shoulder.

When she was halfway down the hall Ellen found her eyes burning and filling with tears. She let them fall out of relief. All four children were finally with her under the same roof- so to speak. Somehow it felt like her biggest accomplishment yet.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 181B: ASSIGNMENT; ANDERS

YEAR: 2315

It had been just under an hour since Saul and Bill met unexpectedly outside of Sam's cabin. Neither seemed surprised to find the other there yet they didn't dare acknowledge why. They entered Sam's quarters nonetheless.

"You can both leave if you're not enjoying my company," Sam shot, fed up with the badgering both men had been inflicting since they entered. "No offence, Admiral, Colonel but I didn't exactly invite either of you in."

Both men claimed to have come in order to shake some sense into Sam Anders, to tell him to get his act together and try to be more proactive. In reality both Saul and Bill had been thinking of Sam's resurrection; the way he woke up calling for Kara Thrace, the way he zeroed in on Katya right away and how he had been fixated on the young pilot ever since.

The night Saul heard Katya calling for Husker and Helo in her dream it was like a switch had gone off in his brain. He couldn't get the thought out of his mind. So many links and connections had formed in his mind since then that he'd never truly realized were there. He had been mulling over Sam's obsession with Katya since then.

Bill's thoughts were running a similar course since he and Katya shared the strange but familiar event in the corridor. He'd been repeating the old jody-call to himself over and over in his mind like some ancient mantra; nothing but the rain.

Though the Colonel and the Admiral hadn't spoken much of their suspicions they both seemed to have the same inclination to seek out Anders in hopes of finding some clarity. It was just that neither of them could muster the nerve to actually bring it up.

"We aren't here for your conversational skills, Anders," Saul groused, returning Sam's frustrations.

"If Ellen sent to you to check up on me you can tell her I'm fine."

"Ellen didn't send us," The Colonel assured. "I'm sure that she'll check up on your useless ass herself later on."

" Useless ," Sam scoffed with a bitter chuckle. "If I'm so useless then why drag me back from the dead, huh? Why not let me rest in frakking peace?! " He shouted from the comfortable perch of his seat.

Sam sat with a purposefully lazy posture while the other two hovered nervously around the living area of the small cabin.

"Everyone else is cooperating, Anders," Bill interjected. "You sit in here locked up like a frakking hermit and somehow still manage to make trouble. Everyone else is trying, damn it. Even D'Anna!"

Sam was annoyed but with little else for him to do on Alpha he was actually finding the pointless berating from the two men to be almost amusing.

"And where is that help getting you, Sir?" He jibed, hoping to ruffle Adama's feathers even further.

It worked.

Bill chuffed under his breath and shook his head.

"I'm done here, Saul," He said decidedly. "You stay and talk to this idiot all you want."

Saul didn't follow Bill. Instead he got up and leered in Sam's direction. He bore into the other man's eyes and tried to read him, as a man and as a cylon. He saw frustration, anger and confusion but most of all he saw that Sam was hiding something. Unfortunately for Saul he knew that the fault in the particular cylon ability was that Sam Anders could see the very same thing in him.

Tigh took a few steps closer.

" Saul ?" Bill called at the hatch.

Saul didn't turn and didn't answer. He just kept his eye locked on Anders.

"What the frak did you do to my daughter yesterday?" He seethed in a low voice. His overly intense inflection made Anders laugh right in his face. "What in the hell is so funny?"

Sam shook his head as he continued his quiet laughter.

"Your daughter ," Sam parroted.

"That's right," Saul affirmed straightening his back.

"You're so protective of her," Sam observed. "It's just… interesting to see you as her father. That's all."

Sam could remember how Kara spoke of her fights with the Colonel. Triad games that ended in tipped tables and black eyes, endless insults and trips to the brig. To see Saul Tigh acting as if Katya was his frightened little cub was almost too much.

" Listen, Anders, " Saul barked. "Ellen told me that Kat finally agreed to see you yesterday and that you sent her out of here in tears ."

Sam shook his head and grinned. Finally there was a hint of truth as to why the Colonel was there. Now he knew what the confusion was that he felt emanating from the angered man.

" What did you do to her?! " Saul demanded.

Anders took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"Colonel you've known her…well…a long time," He prodded. "Longer than I have. I'm sure you agree that she can handle herself. We've all seen enough evidence of that," He added, looking toward the door at Adama.

" What the hell are you talking about?" Saul shouted, losing his patience.

Anders shrugged.

"She's a…special girl. Don't you think?"

The Colonel squinted.

"Huh?"

Sam leaned sideways in his chair bypassing Saul's contemptuous scowl and addressing Bill at the door.

"What about you, Admiral?" He tested.

If the Colonel had his suspicions perhaps the Admiral did as well.

Bill looked back and forth at both men a few times before he finally snapped.

" You have something to say about her, Anders just come out and say it! " He challenged through his teeth.

Adama's agitation gave Sam another small thrill. Yes, it was amusing but it was also good to know now that he wasn't the only one who saw it. He wasn't crazy.

"What would I say, Sirs? Hm? She and I have only just met, haven't we? What could I possibly tell you two about her that you don't already know in some way?"

Bill's face went red at Sam's bating. He stomped a few paces back into the room.

" Anders, you're obviously hinting at something! What's with your frakking fixation on her?! Prove that you're of some use and quit frakking with us! " He ordered but Anders just kept the sly taunting grin plastered on his face.

"You too, eh, Admiral?" Sam said, now mostly confident that he had been right about both men. "You see it too? That's why you're both really here. Right? Not to get me to participate in this dead end battle. You're here because of her, aren't you?"

Anders watched Saul and Bill start to eye each other as if they were only now realizing the shared nature of their curiosity.

"I have an idea!" Sam shouted in mock excitement as he stood from his seat and clasped his hands together. "Why don't you ask each other? Looks like you both have something on your minds. No? Better yet why not ask your daughter what went on here yesterday?" He continued to taunt. "Just don't expect a straight answer from her either. She's never been particularly good with those."

" What's that supposed to mean?" Saul bit.

Sam sat back down in his chair and put his feet up on the coffee table. He shook his head and looked at both men with a relaxed smirk on his face.

"I'm a little over this game, gentlemen. I'd rather just sit back and see which one of you says it first. Let's see who wins father of the millennia."

"We're done here!" Bill barked and turned back to the door. "I’m done here," He repeated as he wrenched open the hatch. "I don't know what you're getting at, Anders, and I'm not wasting time with riddles. Whatever reality you're in just know this; when I look at Katya Isakoff all I see is my daughter. I don't need you to tell me anything else! Now act like the officer you were once. Quit the showmanship and do something frakking constructive!"

Bill turned and stormed through the doorway leaving Anders and Saul inside.

Saul watched as Bill rushed out. A strange feeling came over him. Bill had just said what he wished he could say himself. He just couldn't let it go as easily. Bill had always been the strong one. In comparison to Bill Adama, Saul had always thought himself weak. He was the one who couldn't help but dwell and fixate on things that he couldn't change. Ancient habits died hard.

Now alone with his old colleague Saul turned to study the obstinate man. At first he said nothing. For a moment the two stared at one another in total silence. It was Anders who eventually spoke first. His expression finally softened and he shook his head.

"You know, Saul," He started, addressing him as he would have lifetimes ago on their home world. "I'm happy for you and Ellen…finally getting to be parents. I really am," He shrugged. Sam meant it. The memories of life on their Earth were still with him. Long ago they were all partners. They were a team. They were friends. "Seeing you two with a kid…" He began and then trailed off before starting over. "Back on Earth, on our Earth, I held out hope for you two until the end. Then later watching Ellen lose Daniel…It broke my heart…And now…well…to see you two with a kid…it's great," Sam admitted. He shook his head pondering it all. "You finally have a child…but I just can't believe that it's her ."

Saul's temper finally hit its breaking point. He'd come there looking for answers that he wasn't willing to ask for. Sam knew it and so he was keeping them spitefully out of his grasp, daring him to admit what he already felt was true. They were getting nowhere and it just made Saul hate Anders for holding out on him.

"Ellen may still have all of her old affections for you, Samuel T. Anders, but you can sit in here and rot until the end of this Earth for all I care," He spat before turning on his heels to leave.

"Thanks for the chat!" Anders called before the hatch slammed.

In the hall Bill stood a few paces away from Sam's marine and centurion guards. When Saul passed him without stopping he joined the other man's hurried anxious stride.

"What's that idiot jabbering on about?" He attempted.

They both paused at the apex of the corridor. For a long moment they were quiet where they stood.

Saul shook his head.

"I…I don't know."

"Yeah," Bill nodded after a beat. "Me either."

Without another word Saul took off toward the control room. Bill decided not to follow.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR C

MILITARY STATION EXCHANGE UNIT

SENSHI OFFICER'S CLUB

YEAR: 2315

There were only a few more hours left in the year.

2316 would soon be upon the people of Earth Orbit promising nothing but uncertainty. Many did their best to ignore the holiday and its looming suspense. Other's celebrated anyway; clinging to hope and faith. Some chose to get lost in the festivities, longing to forget for just a while. The off duty military faction of Alpha Station was doing just that. The party at Senchi was in full swing by the time Katya and Alexi decided to make an appearance.

After a comforting restful night's sleep by Ellen's side Katya was able to face her husband once again. She'd begged his forgiveness and though he told her that he wasn't quite sure what he was forgiving they reconciled with her promise that she'd straightened things out with Sam Anders. Her explanation was vague and stilted but her pledge to refocus and compose herself was satisfactory to Alexi. He'd hated not having her by his side even for a night.

Though neither had much of a desire to party they decided that celebrating the New Year would be a fitting display of their pledge to move forward together no matter what. They dressed in their best civilian garb, via Ellen's request and headed for the officer's club.

Katya held Alexi's hand on their walk through the halls; a gesture somewhat a-typical of their nature as a couple, at least in public. Tonight Katya wanted to feel as bound her husband as possible. It seemed to amuse him. Alexi smiled as she held on to him through every turn they made. He wondered if the height of her heels had more to do with it than her affection.

"You look incredible, myshka."

"You've said that three times now."

"I can't help it. That dress leaves little to the imagination," He said gesturing to the sheer keyhole cut outs at her sides. The lace was onyx like the dress but transparent enough to show her tattooed ribs peeking out.

"I was excited that it fit. I think I've finally lost all the weight I put on. I'm glad to have my normal figure back."

"You looked healthy with that weight on. And this is hardly you're normal figure, Katya."

She looked down at her recently tumid breasts and shrugged.

"Well they aren't going away anytime soon," She mused. "Might as well show them off while I have them."

Alexi quietly chuckled under his breath at her logic.

"Will you drink tonight?" He asked once they approached their destination.

"Dah. Of course."

"Katya."

"I won't make it through the night if I don't, Lex. Besides, if I was going to be sober I would have just as well stayed home."

"We just talked about priorities, promises…"

"And I know mine. It's one night. Tawny said it would be fine," She reminded. "Alexi I'm not a machine. I'm doing what I can but I can't be expected to perform some kind of mass production. This is all supplementary anyway. We have time. I'll make up for it."

"You're right," He answered with a relenting sigh.

"Anyway, I'm glad we're telling Saul and Ellen tomorrow," Katya decided. "I told Aunt Elle that we have something special for them. She's expecting a gift."

Alexi nodded beside her as they walked.

"Good. This is a gift. You'll feel better when they know, Katya. We both will. Things will start looking up for everyone. I know it."

When they finally made their way to Senchi's doors they stopped to collect themselves.

"You've never been such an optimist, Alexi."

With a pert smirk he took her hand, raised it to his lips and kissed the spot above her wedding band.

"Now is the time to start, myshka."

Once the couple entered the bar they soon had drinks in hand. They were happy when they found Margot with Sydra on the dance floor. Ellen had kept her promise.

"Starting the New Year off half naked, Kat?" Margot teased with a wink.

They had to shout to be heard over the sounds of the crowd and music around them.

"At least you're finally here to notice," Katya dug back.

The two embraced on the dance floor.

"I missed you," Margot admitted. "All of you."

"Don't hide anymore, Margot," Katya said into her friend's ear. "As long as it's still in Orbit, Alpha can be your home."

Margot nodded into Katya's neck. The emotional reunion was soon interrupted by Blazer's arrival. With the four finally together they were able to get lost in the music and booze.

Across Senchi Bill and Laura found themselves at the bar observing the celebration of young soldiers as they drank. They had come on Saul's insistence and only meant to stay a short while. The party held little interest for either of them. They had finally decided to stop in once Helo and Sharon said that they would be making an appearance as well. Bill figured that they would have a few drinks with old friends and then gladly retire to their quiet quarters as the New Year rolled in. As he watched Laura scanning the crowd he knew that she'd come for one reason. Katya would be there. He could tell the moment Laura spotted their daughter on the dance floor. The look in her eyes changed and she was lost in thought. He liked watching the expression on her face while he sipped his drink. It was both amusing and heartwarming to him all at once. He was grateful to see the change in how Laura looked at their child now. Weeks ago all he saw was heartbreak. Now he was sure that he saw love in her eyes.

As soon as Laura caught a glimpse of Katya on the dance floor she felt her heart do a little leap. It always did when she saw her. Her nerves would kick in; excited, awestruck and scared to be in the girl's presence. Laura had expected the reaction to fade after a while but it hadn't. Not since the day she'd learned who Katya was. Sometimes she doubted if the feeling would ever fade at all. Laura wondered if Ellen experienced the same thing; if her heart skipped a beat every time she laid eyes on her child. She wondered if it was normal, if every mother felt the same. Perhaps that was just the way it was.

She watched on, happy to see her daughter enjoying herself among friends. She couldn't help it when her eyes went wide upon seeing Katya's dress. It shouldn't have mattered. She shouldn't have cared. Kaya was a grown woman; twenty-two and legally an adult by Earth Orbit law for over a year. She was a married woman capable of handling herself but Laura still couldn't help but wish the hem of her skirt was a few inches lower and her neckline a few inches higher. Katya looked pretty and youthful in her dress but it made Laura wonder more about how the young woman would have turned out differently if she and Bill had been able to raise her themselves. She imagined telling her daughter that modesty was sometimes sexier and that men enjoyed a bit of mystery. She had a feeling that Ellen Tigh hadn't been as prudent in her example. Ellen probably enjoyed seeing Katya dressed to kill on nights out. She probably reveled in reliving a bit of her youth through her daughter. Though Laura knew that there must have been times where Saul's eye nearly bugged out of his head, she could imagine Ellen coming to the teen girl's defense and allowing Katya to leave for parties and dates in miniskirts and frak-me-pumps. Laura had a feeling Bill would have never stood for it. While Saul might have been a pushover full of grumbles and idle threats Laura imagined that Bill wouldn't have let his daughter out of the house until she changed.

She shook her head at herself. She knew that she shouldn't be judging. Katya wasn't a teenager anymore. She was an adult. She looked very nice and had her husband by her side. There really wasn't anything wrong with her showing off a figure that any woman would be proud of. Laura supposed that she was just making up for years of maternal worry.

"Are you going to stare at her all night or are you going to go say hello?" Bill finally teased, getting her attention.

Laura blushed realizing he'd been watching her stare.

"I will. She's busy with her friends."

Bill nodded and glanced back at their daughter, finally getting a better look at her as she danced.

"Good gods," He groaned as he took in Katya's party dress. "I don't know how Saul hasn't had a frakkin’ heart attack yet," He muttered shaking his head. Laura laughed, somewhat relieved that she wasn't alone in her parental misgivings. Sometimes what others called intuition felt so foreign to her. She felt reassured when Bill, with all his fatherly experience, echoed her concerns. "Seeing her all dressed up like this makes me appreciate just how easy I had it with Lee and Zak."

"Neither ever tried to leave the house with a plunging neckline I gather?" Laura said with a musing hum.

Bill gave a grunt and then sighed.

"Saul's right. She's got your legs," He sighed, wishing he was seeing a bit less of them. "How he survived her sprouting those as a teenager I'll never know."

Laura looked back at Katya and tilted her head.

"I think he trusted her," She said decidedly.

"Hm?"

"Saul and Ellen; they seem to have been very open with Katya about most things. I don't think she ever felt the need to hide much from them. I think they were confident in how she would conduct herself no matter how she was dressed. Think about it, Bill. Despite being raised by Ellen Tigh, Katya has been with one man for most of her life," Laura noted with a shrug. "She was practically a child when she started dating Alexi, as far as I can tell. She couldn't have had very much experience before that. She's dedicated to him too. She decided that she loved him and married him. I know that they're young but I've never seen either of their eyes wander. I actually admire Katya for that. I couldn't claim to be that chaste at her age, miniskirt or not," Laura admitted.

Bill smirked at the mental visual of a twenty-two year old Laura in a too-short dress. Suddenly he needed a swig of his drink. He smiled at her for a moment. He'd never heard her defend the Tigh's parenting before. Maybe Saul was right. Maybe she and Ellen had come to terms with one another after all.

"I made my own mistakes as a parent, Laura. More than I could ever list to you. I think they did a good job, considering."

Laura hadn't thought so weeks ago but little by little she was starting to change her mind.

"Glad to see you decided to come," A gruff voice sounded from behind their barstools.

They both turned to find Saul standing with Ellen at his side. Laura noticed how she flanked his injured shoulder protectively as people buzzed around the bar ordering drinks and snacks.

"Good to see you up and out of your quarters," Bill greeted his friend as if he hadn't seen the man only hours before.

It didn't need to be spoken about. They both wanted to ignore the meeting they had with Anders.

Bill hadn't mentioned it to Laura and he was almost sure that Saul never said a word about it to Ellen.

"I'm fine," Saul assured. "I'm at least good enough to have a drink with friends."

"But just one," Ellen warned. "Xao didn't quite clear you yet."

Saul rolled his eye at Ellen's hovering. He knew that once she had a drink of her own she'd be much less militant over his imbibement.

"Helo and Athena said they would stop by," Bill explained. "We thought that as long as they were here we would come too. Haven't seen them yet."

"They'll be along, I'm sure," Saul said, scanning the room. "Their son is around here someplace." He hiked himself up on a bar stool with a grunt and then returned his attentions to Bill and Laura. "So can we expect you both for dinner tomorrow?" He asked.

Bill was hesitant to answer. He felt Laura somewhat stiffen by his side. They'd spoken about the invitation briefly but no real decision had been made.

"Please come," Ellen interrupted. She purposefully looked past Bill and straight at Laura. It was the first time either of them had really made eye contact since their time in the bunker. Ellen forced as genuine of a smile as she could. "You shouldn't be on your own for the holiday and it would mean so much…to Kat," Ellen added quickly.

Laura wondered if they could truly make it through a civil meal together. Things were still so raw. They'd hardly spoken since their tear-filled screaming match. How could they go from that to making sure that Katya had a pleasant evening with her family? Laura thought back to the video link that Ellen had sent her of Katya's ballet. The other woman was trying. She'd made a gesture and now she was making yet another. It was for their daughter's sake, not their own and Laura knew that she should at least try to follow suit.

"Well," Bill started.

"We would love to," Laura abruptly finished for him.

She ignored the surprised glance he threw her and returned Saul and Ellen's pleased smiles.

"That's more like it," Saul answered gladly smacking the top of the bar with his palm. "Now someone get the barkeep's attention."

Once they all had a drink in hand the air between the two couples became less tense.

"What shall we drink to?" Saul proposed, eagerly lifting his glass.

"A Happy New Year seems somewhat presumptuous," Bill remarked."Doesn't it?"

Laura watched as Ellen's face fell at his comment. She could tell that it had dampened her already tenuous spirits. Laura lifted her own glass and cleared her throat.

"My father used to say that if you have nothing to toast to then you should toast to the fact that you have something to toast with ."

"Hell, I'll drink to that," Saul said in agreement but Ellen still looked sullen.

"I guess that's why everyone's here tonight," She said with a sad smile before any of them had the chance to drink. "To try and forget." She sighed and shook her head. She had really only come to make sure that Katya and the others were having a good time. A night before she had spoke to her daughter of hope and faith but now after the day she had Ellen was feeling as frustrated and discouraged as those whose spirits she'd been trying to lift. Getting Margot off of the basestar had been draining. She was glad to bring the girl home but it had tested her patience. Once she'd returned to Alpha the rest of the day hadn't gone much better. Saul's mood after his visit with Anders was strange. She couldn't read him well and he could hardly explain himself but the vibe she'd gotten from her husband had left her feeling uneasy. She decided to visit Sam alone before getting ready for the party. He was as vague and moody as ever and their visit did little to subdue her nerves. She'd invited him out to Senchi out of pure sympathy but it was a halfhearted invitation. She knew that if he accepted it would probably ruin Katya's time. Ellen left him with a full bottle of whisky and a kiss on the cheek. A while later she stopped by D'Anna's cabin offering the same weak invitation, hoping that she too would decline and that Margot would get the night to let loose. She felt for both Sam and D'Anna; each alone in their cabins, but her concerns for the children outweighed the unhappiness of those she knew were strong enough to endure it. She just wanted to see the kids have a good time. She was so afraid it would be the last for a while.

Laura frowned. The fact that everyone seemed so discouraged was starting to unnerve her as well. It was like they were slowly and collectively giving up. She couldn't do that. She just didn't feel the same hopelessness. She could sense that something was coming, though she didn't know what. She wished for a moment that she was still in a position to rally people's hopes and quell their fears with a speech and her signature tempered tone. She was no stranger to the feeling of despair, to the thought of giving up, of hitting rock bottom. She could still remember the smell of burning scripture and how her ailing and broken body felt lying crumpled in surrender. She'd lost hope then but if she'd learned anything from her failure it was that she was wrong to give into the pull of admitting defeat. Laura understood that once one was in that state of mind there was little that could drag them out of it. She'd almost slipped into a similar state again after being brought to Alpha but things were different now. She had reason to hope. Laura wasn't in a position of authority anymore but she could do her best to make sure that those around her didn't slip any further into the darkness.

"We're all together," She quickly offered before any of them could take a reluctant and melancholy sip. "That's something to celebrate, no matter how long it lasts," She offered.

Ellen's brow arched before she nodded in agreement.

"Now that I can toast to," She said with a thankful smile before they all drank.

"Ah! There you all are."

Their collective swigs were interrupted when Katya's voice sounded through the crowd and she emerged with Alexi at her back.

"Oh, kitten you look beautiful!" Ellen nearly squealed, happy to see that the young woman had kept her promise to attend the party.

"Margot said I look like a Delta call girl," Katya grimaced with a roll of her eyes.

Upon getting a good view of the length of her dress Saul's brows quickly knitted together but Ellen just chuckled.

"Oh Margot is in a mood right now, Kitten," Ellen defended "She had a long day. She didn't mean it."

"Like hell she didn't!" Saul groused in turn. "That's exactly what you look like."

"Thanks, Uncle Saul," Katya said in a faux saccharine tone. "You're as sweet as ever."

"Well, ya do!" He answered.

"But a high end call girl," Ellen added. "The kind Orbit committee members higher," She said with a wink. "You look great."

Katya rolled her eyes again at her parent's typical raillery.

"Thanks, Aunt Ellen."

The entire interaction made Laura laugh to herself. It was just the kind of exchange she was sure that the Tigh family had been spouting since Katya was old enough to date.

"Ms. Roslin," Alexi greeted over the Tigh's banter. "Admiral." Bill stuck his hand out and Alexi gave it a friendly but firm shake. "It's good to see you both."

"Likewise, Sergeant," Bill nodded and cleared his throat. "I haven't seen you since the ambush. I want you to know that I've heard quite a bit about your valiant efforts on C-deck during the attack last week. There are more than a few men and women aboard who are very grateful for your actions."

Alexi looked to his shoes and then back up at the Admiral. He still hadn't told Katya everything that his platoon had gone through that day. He could feel her anxiety rise beside him at the mention of it.

"I was only doing my job, Sir," He answered.

Saul chuckled with a grunt.

"Modest. Unlike his father," He said as he brought his drink to his lips.

"I'll say," Laura echoed with a smirk.

Alexi fought off the ever present embarrassment that was his lineage. He knew a lot about his father's history and he knew that Roslin and Tigh rivaled each other in their hate for Baltar.

"Well modest or not," Bill continued, noticing the boy's discomfort, "I'm thankful for your efforts."

Alexi merely nodded in thanks and then moved to flag down the bartender.

Bill's focus moved to his daughter. He noticed that she'd been avoiding all eye contact with him since the moment she walked up to the bar. He hadn't seen her since their strange interaction in the hallway and he could tell that she felt uncomfortable to face him. Sam's earlier ramblings were still whirring in his mind. Saul's reaction had unnerved him even further. As Bill looked at Katya it was as if he was suddenly seeing something that he couldn't put into words. He knew one thing for sure, just as he'd told Sam. She was his daughter and that much rang true to him no matter how much fog or confusion clouded his mind.

"You look lovely tonight, Captain," He told her in an attempt to get her attention.

She barely looked up at him.

"Thank you, Sir."

Katya felt a knot form in her throat as Bill spoke to her. She'd known the man's voice for almost six months but now it sounded so much more familiar than that, as if she'd always known it. She could feel his eyes on her but she brushed passed him making her way to where Laura sat at the bar. Since her birth parents resurrection she had always felt far more comfortable around Bill Adama than Laura Roslin but things had changed. Now as she moved toward Laura she almost felt like she was a child hiding at her mother's side. Katya leaned on the counter and quickly took up conversation with the woman, hoping Bill's focus would shift back to Alexi or the Tighs.

"So did you manage to get some rest the other night? I mean after we had a few rounds of midnight shots?" Katya teased as she reached over the bar for a plastic garnish skewer. Laura laughed and rolled her eyes at Katya's reference. "You must have gotten some sleep," Katya shrugged. "You and I killed half a bottle," She added as she casually chewed at the little pick.

When Alexi slid her a drink down the bar Katya was able to see that Bill's attentions were finally elsewhere. She relaxed a bit and took a few quick sips.

"I slept, Katya," Laura said with a smile and a nod. "I did, but I woke up with a roaring headache."

"Well, I said that it would help you sleep. I didn't say that you wouldn't wake up hung over," Katya said playfully.

"No, no you didn't and I guess I should have expected it."

The young woman nodded and looked down at Laura's glass.

"Didn't we say that the next time we spoke we would do it without the use of illicit substances?" She winked as she rattled the ice in her own drink.

"We did," Laura smiled, "but it's a special occasion so I suppose tonight can be an exception." She lifted her drink and gave Katya a little shrug. "Shall we drink to next time?"

Katya smirked and nodded.

"To next time, momochka," She echoed as they chimed their glasses together.

"Kitten," Ellen called, interrupting Katya's sip.

She scooted past Bill's bar stool and made her way a little closer.

"Kit, I just saw Tawny come in. I know that she's excited to have the night off. I'm sure she's looking for you.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                

You and Alexi don't have to stand here talking to the four oldest people in the known universe. I told you. I want you kids to have a good time tonight."

Katya's eyes darted between Ellen and Laura. She hadn't seen them this close together since they both had bruises on their faces. They had faded. She couldn't find a trace of the marks anymore.

"She's right," Laura added to Katya's surprise. "Go on. Have some fun."

Being the presence of both women at the same time was already overwhelming. To hear them agree was more than she could handle. She didn't know how to respond to it so she nervously downed her cocktail in just a few short sips.

"Everyone is here, Kat," Alexi called from a few seats down the bar. As long as they were at the party Alexi was anxious to make the most of it just as Ellen had asked them to. "Let's head back."

"Go on, baby. Go dance," Ellen encouraged with a little nudge to her arm.

Katya took a deep breath and felt her drink quickly burning its way down her body. She discarded her glass and nodded.

"Fine, Aunt Ellen but you're coming with me. You convinced me to come tonight so you're dancing with me," She said taking hold of Ellen's arm.

"Oh, I dunno, kit. I think I need a few more drinks in me before I'm ready for that."

Katya rolled her eyes.

"I'll send Blaze to get some shots. He'll bring them to us. C'mon. You wanted me to have a good time. Come have a good time with me."

"Go on, Ellen," Saul urged, "You know you want to and I can't do much with this arm."

Ellen shook her head.

"No, Saul. I should get you home soon. You shouldn't even be here. You're not fully recovered."

"I'm fine, Ellen. I'll sit here at the bar for a half hour and you go make the kids happy."

"Yeah, Auntie," Katya followed with an exaggerated pout. "Make me happy."

"I don't know," Ellen sighed, her resistance obviously wavering.

"I'm fine here," Saul assured.

"Yeah, he's fine," Katya mimicked. "Though he shouldn't be drinking," She added as she grabbed her uncle's beverage and drank his last few sips before handing him back the empty glass.

"Thanks a lot, kit," He griped.

"You're welcome. C'mon," She urged pulling Ellen by the wrist and heading toward the dance floor. "Let's see if you can outdo the night of my sweet sixteen party."

Alexi quickly grabbed his drink from the bar and followed.

"She sprained her ankle that night, Katya!" He shouted after them.

"She had fun!" She called back with Ellen now happily in tow.

As they walked away their banter faded into the crowd within moments.

While Bill and Saul took up their own conversation Laura watched Alexi follow the two women into a sea of people. She looked on as they met up with the others, grinning and happily greeting one another. Laura smiled to herself when she saw Blaze pick up Tawny and spin her around. The usually reserved young doctor gave what looked like a dramatically feigned protest. Margot and Sydra were close by looking happy to be back in one another's company. It was quite a nice site to see but what kept Laura's attention was the way Ellen and Katya clung to each other. They danced and laughed with ease. When they were passed drinks they spilled almost as much as they actually drank. Laura watched as Katya whispered something into Ellen's ear that made the woman burst out laughing. She was sure that it had to be some decade old joke they'd shared a hundred times. Alexi took his turn dancing with the other young ladies, showing off his own skills while Katya and Ellen stayed stuck to each other's sides, grinning, dancing and laughing. Though Laura still felt a sense of envy while watching Ellen with her daughter the joy and love she saw between them was too real not to be infectious. Their interaction seemed as easy as breathing and Laura found that she couldn't help but smile at it. Her daughter was so loved and she was obviously capable of loving just as deeply. When Bill noticed what had Laura's attention he leaned over close to her ear.

"Do you want to go join them?" He asked.

She quickly shook her head.

"No. No. I couldn't. That's not really my scene."

Laura knew that even if she had a close relationship with Katya she could never be the type of mother who would fit in easily among her daughter's friends. It was so easy for Ellen. She could be Katya's mother and her friend all at once. Laura couldn't imagine that. It just wasn't her. She still wasn't sure what kind of mother she would have made. She hoped that she would have been something like her own mother; supportive and a good example. She hoped that she would be a shoulder to cry on and a comfort; able to give advice but step back and let mistakes be made and lessons learned. There was a closeness between Ellen and Katya that was undoubtedly unhealthy. There was a dependence, as if one couldn't exist without the other. As Laura watched them she wished the relationship wasn’t quite so dysfunctional but at least now she felt as if she finally understood it. She had been thinking a lot about the things that Ellen said to her during the ambush, all of the sob stricken admissions. It had finally all sunk in. Katya and Ellen had found each other long ago and would never let go. They were both frightened to death of the prospect. Years ago they'd given each other what the other wanted so desperately. Katya only wanted a mother. For eons Ellen had so badly wanted a child. They became that for each other as best as they could and they clung onto it for dear life. Laura understood now how truly threatened they both must feel with her around. It was a wonder that she'd gotten as far as she had with either one of them. No matter how irrational it was, Katya and Ellen were both so afraid to hurt each other, so afraid to hurt the person who'd granted them with what they wanted most. Despite that fear Laura could feel that they'd both summoned the courage to let her in just a bit and for that she was actually honored.

"They're having a good time," She said as she looked on.

Bill nodded and laughed as he glanced over at the inebriated dancing pair.

"They sure are."

"Ellen loves her so much," Laura remarked.

Saul hit another empty glass against the bar top.

"More than the air she breathes," He added.

Somewhere between all the envy and resentment and passed all the heartache and regret Laura found that she loved the way Ellen loved Katya.

On the dance floor, having recovered from another fit of laughter Katya put her arms out and hugged on to Ellen's neck, ignoring the music and people around them. She was already half drunk and less than steady on her feet.

"Am I here to dance with you, kitten, or am I here to hold you up?" Ellen remarked.

Katya shrugged.

The girl was smiling but Ellen could tell from the moment she first saw her that something was going on. Their conversation the night before had been so strange. She was glad to see that she and Alexi were getting along but something was still off.

"What's up, baby? Are you ever going to talk to me again? I mean really talk, like we used to?"

Katya nodded lazily into her shoulder.

"Yes. Soon."

"Soon? You keep saying that."

"Mm hmm…we'll talk tomorrow. I promise."

"Really?"

"I have something to tell you. Tomorrow."

"Why the big secret?" Ellen asked. When Katya didn't answer right away Ellen squeezed her shoulders. "Katya, are you alright?"

She felt her take a deep breath in and let it out against her neck.

"I wish that I could be, Aunt Ellen. I want to be happy for so many reasons. It's just that so much is in the way. I guess I feel like everyone else in this place," She said as she stood back with a shrug. "How can I be happy today when I don't know if there will be a tomorrow?"

Ellen's brows went together and she shook her head.

"We never know that, kitten. As many lives as I've lived I can tell you that tomorrow is never a given."

Katya put her hands around Ellen's shoulders once more and buried her face into her collar bone.

"We can't get down there," She lamented with a slight slur to her words. "We can't get to Earth. We're all going to die up here, Aunt Ellen, and I know that you don't understand why yet but…I've never wanted to be alive more than I do right now."

Ellen grimaced and tightened her hold on her daughter.

"That isn't true, kit. I promise. I told you before. I'm going to make sure of it. If it's the last thing I ever do I'm going to make sure that we get down there. I'm going to see these people back to their home, back to their planet. I swear it on everything I've ever loved okay, baby?"

"And do you swear you won't ever leave me?" Katya mumbled.

Ellen took a breath and indulged her, just wanting the drunken blue moment to pass.

"Not if I can help it. You're stuck with me."

"It's funny sometimes," Katya said with a sigh.

"What is?"

"When I really think of the years going by…I'll age and you'll stay the same. One day I'll be an old woman and you'll still look as beautiful as they day I met you."

Ellen chuckled. Sometimes she thought of that and what it might be like. She wondered how Sharon and Hera had fared with the same anomaly.

"But you'll still be my baby."

Katya smiled against Ellen's neck.

"And you'll still order my dinner and call me kitten?"

"Sure will," Ellen quickly answered. She knew that Katya's questions were mostly the result of how much she'd been drinking. She wanted her to drink to have a good time not to become depressive."C'mon sweetie," She said trying to rally the mood. "You're too young to worry and you've already worried too much for one lifetime. Just have fun tonight. Hm? Remember who you are."

Katya leaned up off of Ellen's shoulder.

"That's the thing, Aunt Ellen. I don't know who I am."

For a moment Ellen looked confused.

"Yes you do. You're my kitten," She said matter of factly. "And we Tighs know how to have fun. Don't we?" She prompted, waiting until Katya gave her a nod. "Then do it. Tonight is not the night to wallow in our worries. You have fun."

"I'll try."

Ellen looked over her shoulder in time to see Saul ordering another drink. Sharon and Helo had arrived at the bar. She and Saul could leave now and Bill and Laura would still have some familiar company.

"I'm going to take Uncle Saul home," She decided, turning back to face Katya. "He shouldn't even be out. If Tawny tells her father that she saw him here Xoa will go nuts."

Katya rolled her eyes and backed up, regaining her own composure and steadying her feet.

"Uncle Saul deserves some fun too," She defended.

"He does," Ellen agreed, "but it looks like he's got a refill in hand so I better go cut him off before he does more harm than good."

Katya nodded. Ellen had humored her and they had their fun if only for a short while. She was right. Saul still needed rest.

"Will you be back?"

"I dunno, kit. Maybe. I'll see once I get him settled at home. You enjoy yourself, sweetie."

Katya nodded.

"Okay."

Ellen gave her daughter a kiss on the cheek and tapped Alexi to get his attention before turning to leave the dance floor.

"You kids don't do anything I wouldn't do," She called over her shoulder.

"Thanks for leaving our options so wide open," Katya teased.

"Good one, kit!" Ellen shouted past the crowd.

After another round of drinks with the Agathons and some heavy persuasion Ellen was able to convince Saul to return to their cabin. The two left and Bill and Laura soon followed retiring to their own quarters to quietly wait for the New Year. Only Sharon and Helo stayed parked at the bar enjoying the atmosphere and flowing spirits.

Eventually Blaze and Alexi abandoned the dance floor to join the couple, leaving the girls to their own fun. Now and then Blaze would run a few shots over to his dancing friends and then escape back to the relative calm of his barstool.

While Margot and Sydra cut themselves off at the tipping point Tawny and Katya just kept drinking. Soon neither was very steady on their feet. Katya knew that she was drinking to forget. She wanted to let loose and enjoy herself like Ellen said but the more she drank the less it seemed to work. As her reaction time slowed and her mind clouded she couldn't keep up with everything that she'd been trying so desperately to repress. Familiar feelings, old stories and distant memories that she couldn't explain all seemed to cloud and mix with her own as she fought to live in the moment. She suddenly couldn't take the cacophony of noise around her. The bass of the music and the voices around her were too much. She could feel the heat coming off of dozens of bodies in the room. She wanted to go home. She wanted to escape to a place that would ground her, remind her of who and where she was but something was stopping her from going back to her cabin. She couldn't step foot there. Not yet. Not in the state she was in. Her confusion would only follow her, make its way into her bed and wedge itself between her and her husband once more. It was like she felt her mind slipping someplace else far away and long ago. She only snapped out of it when she felt someone grab her roughly at the shoulder.

"Kat!" Margot said giving her a little shake. "Look at me!"

"Wha…what?"

"No more for you!" Margot shouted over the volume of the crowd. "You hear me? You look way out of it. Why don't you go sit down for a while?"

"I'm okay."

" Tawny !" Margot called getting the doctor's attention, "Tawny, c'mere. Look at Katya. Tell her she's cut off."

"I'm fine!"

Tawny looked Katya over and gave an uncharacteristic shrug and a laugh.

"She's okay. Just needs uh…some water maybe?" Tawny dismissively suggested.

Margot rolled her eyes.

"You're almost as plastered as she is!" Margot accused.

Tawny apathetically waved her off and turned back to her dance partner.

"C'mon Syd," Margot pleaded. "You're a doctor. Back me up. She looks pale."

"It's hot in here, Captain," Sydra offered diplomatically. "I'm not telling you to go home and miss the midnight countdown. Maybe just sit a few songs out. That's all."

Katya really didn't need to be told to go. She wanted out. She wanted the comfort of her own bed, her own sheets. She wanted the security of her husband's arms. That was where she wanted to be. She just had something she needed to do first.

"You're right. I'm umm…I'm gunna step out for a while."

"Good idea," Margot added.

"I'm just gunna go tell Lex."

The other women watched as Katya headed for the bar. They resumed dancing once she was out of sight.

Katya did her best to walk swiftly and steadily. She was sure that her stride looked a lot worse than it felt. She managed to make it to where Alexi sat without stumbling. She even greeted the Agathons in what she hoped was a somewhat coherent and polite manner.

"Are you having fun, myshka," Alexi asked, giving her sweat dampened temple a quick kiss. She could smell the vodka on his breath and she knew by his atypical grin that he wasn't much more sober than she was. "Taking a break?"

"Umm…yeah," She nodded. "It's getting stuffy in here. I need air."

"I can go with you," He offered swiveling his barstool to face her.

" No ."

"No? Why not?"

"Just stay. I'll be right back. I just wanted to tell you in case you were looking for me."

"Oh," Alexi frowned and checked his wrist for the time. "It's almost midnight, Kat. Watch your cuff. I want my New Year's kiss," He winked.

"I'll be back in time," Katya told him. "And you can have one now to hold you over." She moved in to kiss his booze stained lips. Katya took Alexi's left hand and found the band on his ring finger giving it a little twist to feel the inscription. As she leaned back to look at him she forced a smile. "Ya tebya lyublyu, malysh. Always. No matter what," She promised.

"I love you too," He answered with a crinkle to his brow. "Something wrong, Katya?"

"Nyet. I'll be right back."

"Where are you going?"

"Nowhere. Just outside. I'll be back in a few minutes. Wait for me?" Alexi nodded.

"Always, myshka."

Katya brushed her fingers over his wedding band once more and repeated the words that adorned it.

"LechU k’ tebE na krYlyah lyubvI. I'll fly to you on wings of love, malysh."

Alexi smiled at the sentimental reference to the engraving on their matching rings.

"You're sure that you're okay?"

"Dah. I'll be right back."

Katya made her way out of Senchi mostly unnoticed. She would only be gone a short while.

She needed to do this before the nerve was gone, before the effects of the liquid courage she'd downed all night left her. She was too drunk to be walking the halls on her own. If she didn't have the unique advantage of being trained to balance herself in awkward footwear she knew that she would have been stumbling in her heels as she rushed through the corridor. At some point her eyes welled and her cheeks started to burn. Internally she was pleading with herself to turn around and head back to the party, back to her husband yet something else was screaming inside of her telling her to keep going. She didn't know what to do. All she knew was that her feet were taking her forward and soon her fist was pounding against the hatch of Sam's quarters. When he didn't answer right away her tears started to flow more steadily and she pounded the door even harder gaining worried looks from the marine guards who stood post. She shot them each a nasty look and then glanced at the centurion for assistance just as Ellen had done days before. Both guards backed off before the machine could even crane its neck in their direction. Katya looked back at the hatch again, confident now that she wouldn't be stopped. When the urge surged within her to punch the door its lock finally clicked. When it opened her breath caught in her throat. Sam stood within the frame of the hatch looking slightly disheveled. He'd been working on the bottle that Ellen had left him all night. His lips showed a hint of boozy mirth as he looked Katya up and down.

"I don't remember ordering a girl for the night."

" Fuck you ," She spat as she pushed past him and into his cabin.

Sam slammed the hatch shut and turned to face her where she stood.

"You didn't have to get all dolled up just for me."

" Shut up !" She shouted. " I don't want to hear any of your godsdamn bullshit! All I want you to do is answer me."

Sam looked back at her. She was crying. The black eye makeup she wore was smeared under her lashes. Visually it didn't seem right; the makeup and the too-tall heels, her slinky dress and its lace that revealed hints of her tattoos that were in all the wrong places. Nothing was right and yet still he knew. He looked into her eyes and nodded as if he were giving her permission to go on.

"I need to know, Sam. I need you to tell me because you're the only one who seems to have a damn clue !" She shouted as her voice cracked. " Who am I?...What am I?"

Sam took a few steps toward her keeping his eyes locked steadily to hers.

"I don't have to tell you that," He said in a low firm voice. "You know. In some way you have to or you wouldn't be asking."

Her lips trembled.

"But  I  don't."

Sam reached out and cupped her chin. He bore into her eyes as he thumbed her wet cheek. He couldn't tell her. He couldn't express it in words. How could he ever explain it to her when it hardly seemed right to him? He put his other hand to the small of her back and pulled her close to his chest. It all seemed so bizarre. He could smell her and it was all wrong. Instead of settling for the faint scent of GI soap and shampoo she wore some exotic fragrance that he was sure cost her half a week's pay-credits. Her frame was too narrow, too thin. She carried herself like duchess instead of a warrior. Her hair was onyx and silky against his knuckles when he was expecting golden and feathery soft. She was about two and a half inches too tall. It was all wrong and yet it was just right. He knew it. He knew it in his heart and soul. He could feel it emanating from her; the same mix of aggression and softness, the same air of unyielding courage and perpetual fear. It was the same expression of outer confidence and inner doubt; a brazen woman with the heart of a lost child. He was sure.

"You know." He told her. "And Adama and Tigh…your fathers…I think they know too."

Her shoulders started to quake and her hands shook.

"It doesn't make any sense." Her voice felt like sandpaper against her throat. "I feel like I'm losing my mind."

Sam nodded. He knew the feeling.

"I've missed you," He whispered before leaning into cover her mouth with his own. For the briefest of moments she let him and even in that instant his lips, his tongue and his arms felt so familiar just as they had in her dreams, just as they had so long ago. "What took you so long, Kara?" He spoke against her lips.

She remembered. She remembered a priest and vows she made to him early one morning with the breeze in her hair and dirt under her feet. It was so clear but she'd never had dirt under her feet. Had she? A sob rose within the back of her throat and suddenly she was disgusted with him, disgusted with herself. She shoved him away before balling her fist, wrenching it back and then hitting the very mouth that she'd just been so close to moaning into. Sam's head whipped to the side but when he turned back to look at her he hardly seemed surprised at what she'd done. His hand never even went to his face and when he stepped back giving her some space he actually smirked as if he were amused.

"Don't you ever touch me again," She warned.

Sam nodded.

"If that's what you want."

Her palm went to her forehead and she cringed as new hot tears sprang to her eyes.

" I want you to tell me why I'm here!" She charged.

"I told you before!" Sam snapped. " You came for your family, Kara!"

"But what does that mean!?"

" You saw what was happening here! You saw it! We saw it! You saw what was being done to the Admiral, to Roslin. You saw that Saul and Ellen were here. You knew that they weren't going to be able to bring you back like the rest of us so you came yourself! You found another way, Kara! I couldn't remember at first. When I woke up in that tub on Delta I just knew it was you but now I remember more. We were together on the other side for so long…but then you were gone and it wasn't paradise for me anymore. At first I couldn't remember why you left me there but now I do. You left me to get to them, Kara. You came on your own because you knew that they would need you but that they wouldn't be able to resurrect you like the others. You told me that once I was brought back too we'd be together again!"

Her eyes were wild as they darted around the room.

"No…no, no."

Sam grabbed her by the arms to still her.

"Yes, Kara!"

"Frak! And what am I supposed to do now?!"

She was screaming, her face red and streaked with tears but Sam had no help left to give her.

"That...that I don't know," He said with a sigh and reluctant slump of his shoulders.

He truly did wish that he could offer her more. She looked at him with her mouth agape. She stared at him for what felt like ages. Sam looked back at her silently with a mix of adoration and pity. At a loss she shook her head and cried. He almost pulled her into an embrace again but he stopped himself. It wasn't what she wanted.

The silence was broken as both of their cuffs started to buzz and the com station toned with the time. It was midnight; 2316.

Sam swallowed and took in her desperate expression. He clenched his eyes shut and they burned with ancient frustration and new exhaustion. When he finally opened them again his heart sunk to his stomach. He felt his wife. He felt the love of his last life. He felt all of that but what he actually saw in front of him was a frightened stranger. He saw Saul and Ellen's daughter; a young woman, confused and afraid. He saw the living symbol of Adama and Roslin's legacy struggling to keep hold of her reality. He saw the wife of a young marine sergeant looking ashamed and heartbroken. As the station com rang in another Earth year Sam reminded himself of who she was now, in the place and time where they stood. He let go of her, clenched his fists at his sides and gave a heavy sigh.

"Happy New Year…Captain."

In an instant Katya bolted past him and out of the hatch. When the door slammed shut behind her she let out a gasp she'd been holding deep within her chest. She needed to get back to Alexi.

Katya took her heels off and started running with one shoe in each hand. She ran all the way back to Senchi. After hastily slipping her shoes back on outside of the entrance she shoved passed the hordes of drunk men and women who were kissing, cheering and drinking so that they could forget that there was nothing to celebrate this year but their own probable demise. When she got to the bar her husband was sitting right where she'd left him. He smiled at her and she rushed over and kissed him fiercely, uncaring of who was there to see. When she finally broke the connection Alexi could see that she'd been crying. The mascara that had pooled under her eyes no longer looked like it was just from the sweat of dancing.

"Are you alright?"

"I missed it. It's past midnight. I lost track of time. I'm so sorry."

Alexi shook his head dismissing the need for apology.

"S' Novim godom, myshka," He told her. "I know that this year looks bleak but you and I, Katyy, we have every reason to hope."

Katya nodded. She tried to smile but couldn't.

"What's wrong?" He asked. Katya held back more tears and grabbed his hand. "I don't want to be here anymore, malysh. Take me home? I only want to be with you. Alone. Please?"

Alexi nodded. He hopped off of the barstool and the two rushed out of the party.

From the dance floor Tawny watched the couple. She'd seen the look on Katya's face as she hurried back into the bar. She watched the captain rush for her husband and when she kissed him like it was penance Tawny knew just where her friend had been. Whether or not it had done Katya any good, Tawny couldn't tell but she knew that whatever happened, Anders had been left just as alone as he had come into their world.

Tawny had overdone it herself, making up for weeks on end without a day off. Her head was swimming but she didn't care. She left the party without saying goodbye to her friends. Though she felt more than a little unsteady on her feet she walked through the corridors with determination. Clouded as her judgment was at the moment she knew exactly where she was going and what she was doing. When her fist connected with Sam's hatch she knocked with intent.

Despite Sam's mood a corner of his sore reddened mouth quirked up when he opened the door and saw Tawny standing there. Tonight he was being reminded of his time as a ball player when pretty women would just show up at his hotel room one after the other.

"Doc," He greeted.

Tawny rolled her eyes and huffed.

"Do you have to call me that?"

Sam shrugged, amused at her question.

"That all depends on why you're here."

Sam could tell immediately that Tawny wasn't exactly herself. The liquor must have been flowing at the party. Katya had seemed pretty drunk but Tawny was plastered. He might have regretted not going if Ellen hadn't left him with his own private supply. It was past midnight and he was well past smashed himself.

Tawny shook her head and focused on the angry mark forming above Sam's upper lip. She knew one thing for sure; she wasn't there to treat it.

"Interesting way to start the New Year," She told him as she reached to brush her fingers lightly over the welt.

He backed up and gestured for her to enter. She didn't hesitate. He watched her as she entered. The back of her party dress shimmered in the dim cabin light.

"I would offer you a drink but it looks like you've got that part pretty much covered," He teased.

She turned toward him and snidely snickered under her breath.

"You're pretty funny for a man who just got punched in the mouth by a ballerina."

Sam smiled and nodded.

"She told you."

Tawny 's brow rose.

"As if she had to."

"Is that why you came?" He challenged with some mock irritation to his voice. "To fix me up again?"

"No."

"Then why?"

Tawny put her arms out and dropped them at her sides.

"For you…for me…because I wanted to," She said as she started to walk forward, closing the space between them. "Because I'm drunk enough to."

"That's flattering."

"I'm not here to flatter you."

Tawny swiftly leaned in and kissed him. She knew it had to hurt his rapidly forming bruise but he didn't try to stop her so she kissed him even harder. She didn't let up until he leaned away.

"This is an interesting housecall," Sam remarked.

Tawny put her arms around his waist.

"This body that they made you is a scientific miracle. Can you blame me for wanting to take a closer look?" She went to kiss him again but this time he stopped her. He looked into her eyes as if he were searching for something and it made her huff and shake her head in frustration. She backed off and gave him some space. "Look, Anders, I'm here for one reason. A mutually beneficial one, I might add. If you're worried about confusing me then don't be. I'm not confused at all. I understand better than you think. You're frustrated, you're angry and you're very alone. For weeks your only outlet has been throwing fists and breaking shit. Now you've finally gotten where you wanted to be. You're here. You've seen her. You've even talked to her but now...now you're just as frustrated as you were before aren't you?" She accused.

"What would you know about it?"

Though he'd never outright explained things to Tawny he knew that she'd gathered hints and half clues through their interactions. She was a smart woman. Smart enough to put the ragged pieces together. She was the only one who had truly been listening to him. He resented her for it and was grateful all at the same time. She closed the gap between them again and put her arms up around his shoulders.

"I can still smell her perfume on you, Anders," She pressed. "I won't pretend to know what's truly going on inside your head. You say that you know her. I don't know what that means but no matter who she is, she isn't what you want her to be, is she? Not anymore. Not here. Not in this lifetime. Maybe she never will be again. You're confused, disappointed and angry. I can feel it. Take it out on me. Skip the fights and outbursts. Skip the trip to the ward and the brig and just fuck me instead. I don't care if you're thinking of her or whoever you think she is while you do it. Do it if that's what you need. I don't care. Anders I don't give a shit if you're thinking about two different women and one of them isn't even me. I get it. It's okay. I want to be here for you."

Sam knew it was mostly the booze talking but she was still Tawny; pragmatic, honest, sympathetic and beautiful. He leaned his cheek close to hers and answered her smoothly and softly.

"I think you underestimate the power of your own presence, Doc."

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 126B: ASSIGNMENT; ROSLIN/ADAMA

YEAR: 2316

Bill watched as Laura sighed heavily and kicked her shoes to the corner.

"Are you sure you were ready to leave?" He asked as he stopped unbuttoning his shirt. "We could head back."

Laura shook her head and walked over giving him her back so that he could unzip her dress.

"No. I'm sure. I'm more than ready to be in bed."

Bill nodded as he helped her slip the garment off and down to the floor. When she stepped out of it he bent to pick it up with a soft grunt and gathered the warm fabric in his hands. He stood up and watched her shrug on her robe over her slip. She walked in front of the mirror that hung over their dresser and he could see that the pensive expression she wore hadn't changed.

"We'll see her tomorrow, Laura," He offered.

She couldn't even be angry at him for presuming what she was thinking. He was right after all and she supposed that he was very well thinking the same. She smiled at him from across the room and nodded.

"That is," He went on, "if you're absolutely sure about going to dinner at the Tigh’s."

"I am."

Her voice was soft and tired but confident.

Bill unbuckled his belt and sat on the side of their rack. He removed his shoes and slacks while he watched Laura start to brush her hair in the small mirror. He loved the way she looked in the dull glow of their cabin's bedroom lights. It reminded him so much of how she'd looked in his quarters on Galactica. It was familiar and comforting. Then again, time with Laura had always felt familiar and comforting to him, even when they barely knew each other. He folded his pants and put them aside. When he looked back at her she'd stopped her brushing. She was still staring into the mirror though he was sure that she probably didn't even register her own reflection. He cleared his throat breaking her little trance.

"I have to say I was a little surprised to hear you suddenly accept the Tigh's invitation," He said through a stretch.

Laura looked down at her hairbrush as if she were surprised to find it still in her hand. She placed it on the dresser top and turned to face him.

"I had to, Bill," She said simply.

He nodded without asking for any further explanation. He knew what she meant. He gestured for her to join him on their bed. Laura walked over, tightening the sash on her robe before she sat by his side. Bill put his arm around her shoulders and kissed her temple.

"Your toast tonight, I thought it was very gracious of you," He told her. "I think Ellen appreciated it."

Laura leaned into his side and rested her head against his.

"It just feels like everyone is losing hope. I can't sit around and watch that happen again."

Bill tightened his arm around her.

"I know, Laura. It's just that sometimes I think we forget how long these people have been waiting. We fought to find a home for a handful of years and we both lost hope a few times along the way. These people have been waiting up here for over a century. We're just witnessing the experience of one generation. It's a generation who finally achieved what they thought would be their salvation but are finding us to be…well, a disappointment at best…a failure at the worst."

Laura bit her lip and narrowed her eyes.

"Something is coming, Bill," She said in a firm whisper. "I can tell."

His brow furrowed at her statement.

"What's coming, Laura?"

She shook her head at a loss.

"I don't know."

Bill nodded.

"You keep your faith, Laura. It's never failed you before. Not in the long run."

She was quiet at his side.

With a sigh he put some space between them but took her hand into his lap. He squeezed it to get her attention and didn't speak until she finally looked at him.

The intensity of their last post coital conversation had been on his mind for the past two days. He worried that she resented all of his admissions that night. He worried that he'd said all of the wrong things.

"Laura, I've been wanting to apologize for the other night."

She looked surprised at his words.

"Apologize? For what?"

"For anything that I said that crossed the line. I wanted to be honest and maybe I should have thought better before I spoke," He shrugged. "Some of it I just had to get off of my chest but…some of it…I uh…bringing up adopting a child…I…" Bill found himself stumbling over his explanation. He looked down at his lap and remembered Saul's story of regretting the same suggestion worlds and lives ago. "It was stupid and insensitive. I know that isn't why we're here. I know that isn't going to fix things. I just…I guess that was just me trying to foolishly get back something we missed. I didn't mean to upset you."

Laura frowned. Though she had been somewhat surprised at the time she hadn't given the suggestion much thought. She certainly wasn't angry at him for it. She put her other hand over his and leaned in. His eyes were downcast and she felt guilty that he seemed almost ashamed. She hadn't meant to make him feel that way.

"Don't apologize for that, Bill. I wasn't upset at the idea. I was just very emotional…over everything. You said some things that I think I was ready to hear but responding to that kind of raw expression has never been easy for me. You know that. You have a right to your feelings. I'm sorry that I didn't react to them well," She offered. "It's just that, as much as I would love to know what it would have been like to raise a child with you I need to focus on why we're really here," She said with a shrug. She smiled when he finally looked up at her. "And…" She continued, "I need to focus on being as much of a mother as I possibly can to the child that we already have. Other than being with you that's all I want out of this life."

Bill felt some of the weight on his shoulders start to melt and he smiled.

"You don't know how good it is to hear you say that, Laura," He told her. He willed his eyes not to water as he remembered the night when she swore to him that she had no intention of forming a relationship with their daughter. "It's a pretty big change from six months ago when you two didn't want anything to do with each other," He chuckled quietly trying to soften the sting of the memory. Laura nodded and looked down at her lap. He could tell that she was a little embarrassed that she'd ever considered giving up on their child. "You know, Laura…whatever happens or doesn't happen; whether we can save these people or not…we were brought back for a reason."

She looked up and gave him her eyes again.

"I know," She agreed. "We found her."

"I'm happy you feel that way."

Laura's eyes stung at his words and she blinked away some tears that were still too small to fall.

"I know that when I first resurrected I wanted nothing to do with this life." She paused, taking a deep breath. "But things are just so different now. You know Bill, when you and I first met everyone around me was losing the people that they cared about. I felt for all of them. I saw their grief, I understood it…but in a way I was already numb to it. Everyone was losing someone…but everyone who I loved…gods... everyone I loved was already dead long before the fall of the colonies." Laura swallowed hard, trying to keep her voice steady. "Sure, I lost friends and people I genuinely cared for but I had no family, no loved ones left to lose that day. My life on Caprica was busy. I accomplished a good deal. I'd like to think I made a difference in some way but…it was a lonely and isolated life. Partially because of circumstance and partially because I built it that way. I thought it was safer. I thought it was easier. And then you came along and changed that for me just as my life was ending."

Bill felt his chest tighten at her words. He'd known in some way how alone she once felt but hearing her talk about it broke his heart all over.

"Now I have this life…and it's far from perfect. It's just as unpredictable and terrifying as the last but…I have you and now I have my health and…I have our daughter. I have two people who I love more than I've ever loved anyone and they are alive and well and with me. And I am going to do whatever I can to make sure that this life lasts as long as possible."

Bill nodded and brushed at Laura's cheek with his knuckles.

"I like hearing you say that."

"Say what?"

"That you love her," Bill answered.

She almost blushed.

"Oh."

"Maybe it's time that you told her," He suggested in his soft gravelly tone.

Laura looked away.

"I don't know about that, Bill."

"I know that it isn't easy for you…"

"I don't think she's ready to hear it," She abruptly interrupted.

Bill shook his head.

"I think she is. I think she's been waiting to hear it since the moment she was born."

When he saw her eyes well up he took her into his arms.

"It's alright, Laura. You'll tell her when you're ready. Just like you did with me."

The two settled into bed, cozied together under their blankets for the first time in the New Year. They both quietly recounted days when they used to wonder when their mountain of responsibilities would end. Now they wondered when and if they would even begin.

They were both silent for a while until Laura picked her head up from the cradle of Bill's shoulder.

"Bill?"

"Hm?"

"Do you think that there is anything…strange about Katya?" She asked.

Bill's breath caught in his throat for a moment. Was it possible that Laura had been getting the same eerie feelings he was? He forced himself to chuckle a little to hide his immediate response.

"Now that's a loaded question," He remarked with a roll of his eyes.

"No, no. I don't mean her temperament or her behavior." Laura gave him a playful nudge to the shoulder. They both acknowledged that the young woman was far from a parent's dream but it felt wrong to fault her for it. "I can see well enough where that all came from," She defended. "Not that."

Bill shrugged.

"So what then? You don't still think she's ill. Do you?"

Laura hadn't brought up Katya's health in well over a month. Her concerns seemed to disappear as Katya's symptoms did. Bill's own private suspicions had faded weeks ago causing him some temporary disappointment which he kept to himself. The subject had been mostly abandoned.

"No. That's not it."

"Then what?"

"I went and spoke to D'Anna yesterday," Laura confessed.

Bill grimaced.

"What for?"

"Because, Bill we all need to start communicating with each other."

He winced as he thought of his earlier communications with Sam.

"Seems like it just makes things more confusing," He grumbled.

"What do you mean?"

He wasn't ready to talk about his visit with Anders. He was still trying to process it himself.

"Nothing. Tell me. What did D'Anna have to say?"

Laura shook her head.

"She doesn't have any more of an idea of what's supposed to happen than we do but she agrees with me. She says something is coming. I believe her, Bill. Saul says she used to have visions and dreams…like I did. I know that you never really understood what was happening to me back then. I don't expect you to understand now. I think D'Anna understands though. And if she saw things back then maybe she can see them now too."

"But she claims that she doesn't, Laura. You just said that she has no better of an idea than we do."

"Yes…but she said something else."

Bill stilled for a moment.

"About, Kat?"

Laura nodded and put her head back down against his chest.

"She says our children are special. All four of them. She says that they were sent here to help too. Maybe just as much as we were. She called them angels." Laura paused and sighed against the warmth of Bill's skin. "I admit that I don't quite know the other three well enough but…I think that she's right about Katya."

Bill felt like his stomach had done a sudden leap without him, like he'd just done a hundred and eighty degree flip in his old Mark II. Angels. What did that word even mean? He supposed it all depended on who you asked. Bill shut his eyes tight, lost in memory; a day where he sent a dozen lost members of his fleet out of an airlock shrouded in flags. Some were cylon, some colonial. He spoke, Ellen said a prayer and once more they thanked those who gave their lives to save others before sending their remains into the abyss of space.

He had called for the final salute as the airlock closed and then dismissed the deck. He'd planned to rush off. Laura was in sick bay, frail and weak, too sick to attend the service. He'd just bid farewell to a dozen souls and all he wanted to do was make it to Laura's side while hers was still alive inside of her body. The crowd had started to disperse. He shook Lee's hand planning to make his exit right away. Then Baltar's voice sounded in the midst of the mourning crowd and Bill stopped in his tracks.

 

"Listen to me!" Baltar called at the top of his lungs.

Bill should have kept going but he'd stopped to listen to the strange man as everyone else did.

"Death is not the end!" The doctor turned holy-conman proclaimed.

Bill could remember wanting to stop him, wanting to shut Baltar up right there and then before he even got started but he hadn't. His will was weakened. He was so tired of everything that was crumbling around him. He let the man start to preach.

"And I'm not talking about Cylon resurrection," Baltar went on. "I'm talking about the gift of eternal life that is offered to each and every one of us! Yes, even these flawed amongst us. All we need is the courage to face death, when it comes crawling for us, embrace it even! Only then will we truly have the ability to cross over. As one amongst us here has already crossed over!"

Bill still didn't know why his eyes had found Kara in the crowd. He just knew instinctively that Baltar was talking about Starbuck.

"One amongst us here is living proof that there is life after death!" The incensed little man shouted as he held up the battered colonial medals. "The blood on these dog tags comes from necrotic flesh. That means a dead body. The DNA analysis is a one hundred percent proof positive match for one Captain Kara Thrace. I told you that there are angels walking amongst you! When will you believe me?!" He'd cried. "She took these from her own mortal remains that lie on Earth, even now, it's there with her bones!"

Bill could remember the feeling of his blood boiling back then. He'd watched Starbuck's ears and cheeks turn pink before Baltar ever said her name. As she started to walk away from the crowd Bill could remember his own voice erupting with rage.

"That's enough, Baltar!"

"Ask her yourselves!" The man shouted over him.

" I will put you in the brig! " Bill had threatened at the top of his angry tired lungs.

"Ask her! She will not deny it!"

As Baltar continued to shout his proclamations Bill turned to see Kara gunning back through the crowd. She looked angry and embarrassed and he didn't dare stop her as she slapped her would-be ouster straight across the face and turned back to leave all in one motion. The echoing sound of the smack on the open deck silenced Baltar and the rest of the crowd immediately.

" Dismissed! " Bill ordered. " Everyone! Off the deck now! " He'd demanded, the volume of his voice grating against his throat.

As the crowd started to clear he lost track of Kara. He knew that Lee would go after her. Bill never understood what Baltar was trying to say about angels walking among them or what it had to do with Kara. He knew who Kara Thrace was to him even if he wasn't sure what she was. He knew what she meant to him and yet he'd still left the deck with an aching heart. He wasn't able to return to Laura's side in sick bay. He walked the halls of his withering ship reminded of all that was being taken from him. He sought out refuge in the head of his cabin and all he could do was angrily splatter paint onto the walls until he’d collapsed.

Bill flinched when he felt Laura nudge him back into the present.

"You alright?"

"I'm fine. It's just… angel …isn't quite the word I would use to describe Katya," He tried to tease, covering his discomfort.

"I know that," Laura sighed. "It's just that sometimes I get this feeling about her. Have you ever noticed anything different about her?"

Bill took in a deep breath. What could he say?

"I think our judgment is a little clouded when it comes to Katya. She's our daughter, Laura. All parents think that their children are exceptional in some way. Look at Saul and Ellen. In spite of that girl's many faults they both look at her as if the sun rises and sets at her feet," He attempted.

"That's not really an answer to my question. Is it?"

Bill exhaled with a groan. He wanted to be honest but he wasn't sure enough of himself to know what to say.

"Since I resurrected…" He paused considering his words carefully. "Saul has been telling me that Katya is a very special girl. First I thought he was just blinded by his fatherly pride but now…now I finally see it…and I think he's even starting to realize how right he's always been."

Laura glanced up at him. She was confused. It wasn't much more of an explanation.

"What do you mean?"

Bill bit his lip and shook his head. He couldn't explain it to her. Laura was having enough trouble bonding with Katya. What would this do? What would it mean? What if he was wrong?

He shrugged and rubbed at his forehead.

"Sometimes…" He started. "Sometimes I feel like I've known her for ages. I think Saul does too."

Bill swallowed and he felt his face go hot at his own admission.

Laura narrowed her eyes as if attempting to examine the blue depths of his.

"How so?"

He bit his tongue hard and then let it go.

"I don't know, Laura. It's just a feeling. Sometimes I feel like I've known her for so much longer than just six months. I don't have a better explanation but…I…I…well…I don't know…Maybe it's just wishful thinking," He conceded. "Maybe I'm looking for things that aren't there because I missed so much of her life. It's just that sometimes I feel as if I know her so well," Bill went on. He frowned when Laura didn't try to interrupt him or stop his rambling. "Don't you feel that way?" He asked, hopeful that maybe it was just his parental instincts trying to make up for over twenty lost years. Maybe Laura felt it too. "Don't you feel like you've known her forever?"

Laura leaned up and studied his face for a moment. She smiled at him sadly and shook her head before putting resting it back down against him.

"No," She whispered against his shoulder. "I wish that I did."

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 172B: ASSIGNMENT; BIERS

YEAR: 2316

The night had been long and D'Anna was ready to retire to bed. She was ready for the day to be done. Though she had at one point been accustomed to a life full of brothers and sisters connected by the intricate and intimate cylon stream D'Anna wasn't a stranger to loneliness. She had eventually come to be the last Three in existence. At the end of her last life she'd asked her makers to abandon her. She'd isolated herself to an empty promised land and sought out only the company of a God who seemed to have forsaken her. Loneliness was nothing new in this life but somehow she felt it far more deeply.

On New Caprica a Colonial oracle had told D'Anna that holding Hera would show her what true love felt like for the very first time. The human oracle's prophecy came true. D'Anna had held Hera in her arms and felt the deepest sense of love and joy she'd ever known. She'd felt it back then when holding Athena's child but now that she'd come to know a child of her own there was no comparison. Now she had truly been blessed. Yet her daughter had no desire to love her in return. The girl had no such feelings of connection and joy. Margot wanted nothing to do with her. D'Anna decided that this was true loneliness. Not marooning herself on a desolate planet to die; but being so close to ultimate love and having it cast her aside.

As she made her way toward the bedroom D'Anna was surprised by a knock at her hatch. She almost hadn't heard it. She would have missed it if it came only few moments later. She considered ignoring it. It was probably her guards changing shift. At best it was Ellen Tigh doing another mother-hen check in. She wasn't in the mood. When the knock sounded again she paused. She felt foolishly hopeful for a moment. When Ellen had made her earlier visit it was with the news that Margot was now aboard Alpha Station. D'Anna had been glad to hear it though she knew that the girl still had no interest in communicating. Even so, just knowing that she was close made D'Anna's new life somehow bearable. There was always a chance God would answer her prayers. She decided to answer the knock, reminding herself that she could always just shut the door on an unwanted visitor. Unfortunately for D'Anna an unwanted visitor was exactly was who she found on the other side of the hatch.

"Dr. Le Blanc," She said dully.

"D'Anna. Happy New Year," The doctor greeted.

D'Anna's brows lowered and she shook her head in dismissal of the earthbound holiday.

"A little late for a visit, Doc?" D'Anna posed, cocking her head to the side. "I thought you would be back on Delta Station."

"I've been called in by Alpha committee members for an emergency conference over the progress of the resurrection project. It’s tomorrow but I shuttled in tonight. It's a holiday, I know, yet they've insisted due to the recent escalation of events. I've explained that my part in the process is essentially over but as you can imagine I have superiors to answer to like anyone else."

D'Anna crossed her arms and shrugged.

"I've never had superiors."

"Well then. I heard that Ellen Tigh brought you aboard Alpha. I thought I would check in while I was here."

"And here I thought you were done with me."

"Done serving as your physician and custodian," Le Blanc admitted. "Yes. I'm done. I've completed my service as it was, but my interest in you as a subject will never leave me. You've been my biggest achievement D'Anna. You and Sam. I made you after all."

D'Anna's eyes went icy gray.

"God made me."

Le Blanc gave her a prim hum.

"May I come in?" She asked. "Only for a moment, I assure you."

D'Anna thought for a moment before she stepped aside and let the doctor enter.

"I was interested in seeing how you've adjusted so far. I've heard such tragic things about Samuel Anders. I suspect that his noncompliance is going to be something that the committee members are going to try and blame on me. Some are sighting brain damage, but I assure you, I always took care of your bodies. The utmost care. Whatever is wrong with that man is not my doing."

"Took care?"

"Yes. Of course," The doctor affirmed.

D'Anna crossed her arms and nodded.

"Will you see Margot while you're aboard, Doctor? It's a holiday after all. I would think that you would want to be with her."

Le Blanc's gave D'Anna a thin smile and folded her hands neatly in front of her skirt.

"Margot chose to leave Delta Station. From what I've heard she spent a traumatic few weeks aboard the cylon base ship. I imagine she wants to relax and be with her partner; a lovely young doctor who serves here aboard Alpha."

D'Anna licked at her lips and nodded.

"I'm sure she does but I would imagine that she'd want the woman who raised her to show some interest in her well being," She posed as she lessened the space between them. "You're responsible for both of us aren't you? You come to check up on me but not her? Seems pretty backwards considering that she would probably love to hear from you on this holiday, as you call it…but me well…me seeing you… I just want to snap your frakking neck!"

With an open fist to the woman's throat D'Anna slammed the scientist against the nearest bulkhead.

She watched Le Blanc's eyes bug out of her skull as she struggled but failed to yell out.

"Oh, now don't worry," D'Anna told her. "You see I won't snap you neck, though I'd love to and could probably get away with it. You said it yourself; your part in all of this is done. Mine remains to be seen. These people still need me around. I could probably kill you and not suffer much for it. The worst they could do is kill me, send me back to paradise. Understand? " D'Anna held the woman against the wall careful to keep a steady pressure that wouldn't knock her out but wouldn't allow her to make much more than a garbled sound. She waited for the frightened doctor to nod as best as she could manage. "Good. You know after spending some time with Margot alone I decided something. I told myself that if I ever saw you again I would let you know exactly what I thought of you, what I thought of the sadness you've helped place within that poor child." When Le Blanc attempted to speak D'Anna's grip tightened. " No, no . I'm sure it wasn't all bad," She sarcastically conceded. "I'm sure that you gave her the best life you could; a home, an education, discipline but I'm a machine and even I can see that she's lived her life missing something great. You see I was made to comply with the greater good. I was made to revere science and ingenuity so I can forgive you for what you've done to me. I can justify you cloning and recreating my body. I can even excuse the fact that you frakking panicked. That you came up with some twisted failed plan to replace all of us with our offspring in hopes of bringing about your salvation faster. I get it. My people panicked a few times too so I can rationalize how you frakking impregnated my body with the seed of a man who first helped create me. As twisted as it is I can understand your desperation. What I can't understand is your frakking cold apathy to that child's existence. For over twenty years you've called yourself her mother yet you deprived her of warmth and affection," D'Anna accused. "Even before she was born. I've seen my records. You took her from me when she was barely gestated a full twelve weeks. You put her in a tank to observe like a pet when she could have been safe and undisturbed with me, if only for a few more precious weeks." D'Anna's voice almost broke in a rare show of emotion but she held it back.

She had asked Ellen about it. Caprica, Sharon, Roslin; none of their children were taken from them so early. It puzzled her. The other women's doctors had all been men. D'Anna could see them being unattached or apathetic toward the sacred bond of life between mother and baby but they'd shown at least some clemency to their subjects. She thought Le Blanc would have been more empathetic as a female herself but she’d been the worst of all, taking her baby from her as soon as she could manage. Where was this woman's compassion?

"You stole her from me the moment she was viable. Why ? You didn't take her to love. Was it to exercise your own control? Or was it perhaps spite and impatience? You were the head of the project weren't you? And you failed to bring back one of your intended subjects. You failed to clone Kara Thrace. The Tighs sent over replacement DNA from the basestar. They stuck you with me as a substitution. You resented my body for that, didn't you? " She pressed further. "These children…their hypothetical value, that was your theory as well, wasn't it? That they would come into this world; a combination of the saviors you wanted but with intact souls and consciousness to render our resurrections unnecessary. Were you just so eager to prove your speculation? To redeem yourself? Or are you just that damn heartless ?" D'Anna accused with ice in her eyes."Despite my child's harsh entrance into this world she thrived and when she and her counterparts failed to be what you hypothesized you used her like a lab rat. You taught her that she had value only in what she could provide you. You showed her that she was something to use not to care for. And in spite of all that she still cares for you. Imagine that. Imagine the purity of her heart. I can forgive you, Doctor, for your many sins but I can't forgive you for not loving that girl the way she deserved to be loved. For that, for that you should be punished," She announced, squeezing the woman's throat even tighter than before. She kept her grip like a vice until the scientist's lips tinted purple. When D'Anna saw Michelle Le Blanc's eyes start to unfocus she finally eased her grip. "But you won't be punished by me," She said as she released her handle and let the doctor go free. The woman sputtered and choked as she doubled over gasping for air. "Not by me," D'Anna repeated.

" You're insane! " Le Blanc screeched.

D'Anna laughed.

"I should have you put in the brig!" The doctor shouted, still gulping to return enough air into her lungs.

"Do it," D'Anna challenged. "You made me, studied me. You know that I can project, be wherever I want to be no matter where I am. You helped bring me here. Among the living, among Earth, in this cabin, in a cell; it doesn't much matter to me."

Le Blanc backed her way to the door still rubbing at her throat and collarbone.

"You will be punished, Dr. Le Blanc," D'Anna called after her. "Isakoff, Bishop, Petrov; they were all punished for what they did, weren't they? One day you will be too." D'Anna knew this to be true but she also knew it would hurt Margot when the time came and so she wouldn't have a part in it. "You will pay for what you but it won't be by my hand."

As the frightened doctor slipped through the hatch D'Anna smiled. When the door was closed and the room quiet she turned and finally made her way to bed.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 139B: ASSIGNMENT; ISAKOFF/PETROV

YEAR: 2316

Katya had clung to Alexi's side for most of the unsteady walk back to their cabin. Neither of them was sober but his legs seemed to be in far better working order so he picked her up and carried her down the last few halls. Once inside Alexi had every intention of helping his wife to safely undress and get in bed. Even though he'd practically ordered her not to come home a night ago he'd missed having her by his side. Tonight he wanted nothing more than to rest with her in his arms. As he gently helped her to ease her dress off by the side of their rack she started to cry and mumble half coherent apologies through her tears.

"Prosti, zayka. Ya ne khotel tebya obidet'. I'm so sorry for the mess that I've been."

Alexi felt awful. The memory of her calling out Sam's name in her sleep still made him cringe but her earlier explanation and assurance had been enough. She'd gone to see Sam Anders with Ellen. She'd done what he asked and confronted the man. Whether it fixed anything was yet to be seen but Alexi wouldn't punish her any longer for what she truly couldn't seem to help.

"Katya, stop. YA uzhe prostil tebya. I shouldn't have turned you away the other night. Whatever happens from now on we need to get through it together. I'm sorry too."

"You don't understand," She cried.

She felt like a fraud, like an utter liar. As far as Alexi knew she'd gone to Sam's quarters with Ellen only once just to pacify the man's anxious resurrected soul. She would never admit what they spoke of once Ellen left the cabin. She would never admit that she'd returned to him, kissed him as if she'd been waiting a lifetime for it. She would never admit what Sam Anders had forced her to acknowledge. There was no room for it in the life she had now. Her husband's gentle touch made her secrets burn within her. Alexi was careful and deliberate with his hands but when he slipped the top of her dress down her shoulders and over her chest Katya hissed.

"Katya, you're in pain," He said with a grimace. "Where's that damn machine?"

She shrugged and sloppily wiped at the tears on her cheeks.

"I used it before we left."

"Well you're obviously swollen. I can see that," He observed gesturing at her unusually buxom figure.

"I'll go get it."

" No, please?! " She turned and begged. "Please! Not tonight. "

"Katya…"

"I've been drinking, Alexi. You want me to sit here, endure that contraption just to dump everything down the drain? It will all be a waste anyway. Don't make me use it," She said as she crossed her arms as if to shield herself.

"You'll wake up and it will be even worse."

Katya took in a sharp breath that shook on the way out. She was already sick of this routine. She was sick of the responsibility and how bad she was at it all.

"Then you help me," She suggested meekly.

Alexi's cheeks turned pink. It wasn't that he hadn't done it before in the heat of the moment but the specific intent made him feel strange.

"Kat, c'mon."

Her shoulders fell at his reaction.

"Why not?"

"Because I…"

"Alexi, please? It will make me feel better. I can't stand the waste. Spilling it down the damn sink, it's just too fucking ironic! " She spat before more tears started to flood down her reddened face. She shook her head and closed her eyes tightly, fighting a sob. " I keep failing them over and over! " She cried, finally letting out her exasperation and disappointment. "I couldn't keep them with me long enough for them to grow healthy and strong. We have to watch them through glass because of me! We have to schedule visits," She sniffed. "Now I can't even stay sober enough to make sure they're fed when the time comes."

"Katya, stop it," Alexi tried in a softer tone. He put his palms to her trembling shoulders trying to steady them. "They're fine now. The news we got the other day was the best we could have hoped for. You're being too hard on yourself. How they came into this world was not your fault. As far as I'm concerned you saved them. You made the right choice when I couldn't even think straight. There isn't any blame to be placed. And when the time comes and we have them to care for ourselves we will deal with it. You're right. You're not a factory. You don't have to preserve an entire inventory over the next few months just to get ready for them. It's too much pressure right now with everything else we have going on. We have other options. Maybe Tawny and the lab staff put too much pressure on you…maybe I've been doing it too," He conceded.

His consolation did little to assuage her guilt or fears.

"I want them home so badly, Alexi but for the life of me, I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with them once they're here," She confessed putting her head down on to his sturdy chest. "And I can't even think that far ahead because I'm not sure any of us are going to make it to that point."

"Katya, don't do this to yourself right now. Tomorrow will be better. Ellen will finally know. She'll help us. You'll see how much easier things will be."

He tried to coax her into bed, telling her that she needed to sleep, to sober up and calm down. He promised that they wouldn't spend another night apart. Her tears didn't stop and soon she was pleading for a physical expression of his forgiveness and comfort. If he had been less intoxicated himself he may never have given in. There was something so desperate in her voice that it was almost unsettling. The influence of the booze and her aggressive persuasion won in the end and soon Alexi found himself granting every plea she called out. As he nipped and nibbled at her breasts with his teeth he found himself eventually suckling, relieving the sweet pressure that filled them. It was graceless and rough but when it was over they were in each other's arms where they belonged. Alexi fell to sleep easily with Katya's head still resting on his flushed and heated chest.

Katya followed him to sleep almost as soon as her breathing slowed. Not long into sleep the warmth of her husband's skin was replaced by the warmth of a dream hung sun.

Katya wasn't alarmed to find that she was dreaming of Ellen's beach. They had spoken of it only the night before. It was a familiar and comforting space but something felt odd. The strangest thing was that Ellen wasn't there. Katya was without the company of the woman who had created the scene. After so many years she'd learned the intricacies of the beach well enough to project or dream of it on her own, she just preferred to have Ellen by her side when she did. It was their space; a safe and calming place for them to bond. Now Katya sat there alone, or so she thought. As she soaked in the sun wondering how long the pleasant dream would last she suddenly heard a tiny clatter to her right. When she glanced down beside her lounge chair she saw the same red beach blanket that she would occupy in Ellen's projections back when she was young. To her surprise the blanket wasn't empty. Scattered around it were the old colorful beach toys that Ellen used to project for her. On the blanket's corner sat a small boy digging in the sand by his feet with a shovel. Katya frowned. At first she thought that the boy could be the son of a friend or one of the students Alexi sometimes gave math lessons to. As she watched him a moment longer she found that she didn't recognize the child at all. His hair was an almost luminous blonde.

"Prviyet," She called to get his attention.

He looked at her immediately and she squinted when she saw the familiar aquamarine blue of his eyes.

"Privyet," He replied simply as he went back to his patting and digging.

Katya sat up on her chair and watched him work. She almost got up to look around the shore line for who he might belong to but then she suddenly recalled the last time she had such a meeting. She remembered the beautiful and mysterious beach she'd dreamed of, the one she'd eventually shared with Laura. At some point she'd come to associate that seaboard with her birthmother. Not long ago in a dream she'd encountered a strange lonely child there too; the girl she called Rybka, her little fish. There had been no one there to claim that child. As Katya studied the angelic little boy she somehow knew that there wouldn't be anyone around to claim him either.

"Chto delayesh'?" She asked.

"I'm playing."

"I see. All by yourself?"

"Dah."

He seemed almost comically serious for such a little boy and it made Katya giggle.

"I played by myself a lot when I was your age too."

The boy ignored her statement and continued digging.

"I'm waiting for my sister," He explained after a moment.

His words made Katya sit up a little straighter in her seat.

"Sestrichka?"

"Dah."

Katya took another look around Ellen's beach before she looked back at the boy.

"Shall I play with you until your sister comes?" She offered but the boy just shrugged. "What's your name?" She tested. He shrugged again without letting her questioning distract him from his work."Well then, what are you making?" She tried.

"Space ships," The little one finally answered.

His reply made Katya smile and she moved off of her seat and onto the blanket with him as to better see his creations.

"I fly one of those," She told him as she looked over his shoulder at the little mounds of sand shaped into rockets.

"I know," The boy announced. "This one," He added confidently as he pointed down by his feet.

"That's mine?" Katya said with a mix of surprise and curiosity.

"Yes."

"And is this yours?" She asked pointing to the one beside it.

The boy shook his head.

"Nyet."

"Whose then?"

"Blazer's," The blonde boy answered.

Katya furrowed her brow. The strange child knew Blaze?

"Blazer?" She repeated. "The ships are mine and Blazer's?"

"Yes," He answered assuredly. "But you and Blazer can't fly them," He added.

Katya tilted her head in thought.

"I know. That makes me sad. I miss it very much."

The child stuck his chubby little finger into the sand and drew a clumsy downward pointing arrow.

"These ships are going to fly down to Earth," He then announced casually.

Katya's eyes narrowed.

"To Earth?" She mimicked. "Blaze and I can't fly to Earth, little one. I wish we could. We can't get down there," She told him sadly.

The boy shook his head again in protest.

"But you two won't fly them there," He clarified.

"Then who? They're our ships."

The child again stuck his finger into the sand and drew a ring around the ship he'd pointed out as hers.

"Husker will," He explained. He then made another ring around the ship he'd told her belonged to Blaze "And Helo" He added. "They can go to Earth."

"They can go to Earth?" Katya frowned in confusion."But we…They…" She trailed off and for a moment she was lost in her own thought. She tried to come up with an explanation as to why the child was wrong but she finally realized it wasn't wrong at all. "You're right...You're right, zvezda, they can go to earth. Can't they?" She said in near astonishment.

The boy nodded.

"Dah," He affirmed. "They'll go."

Katya reached out and tousled his blonde head.

"You're a very smart little boy," She told him.

He finally looked up at her and suddenly feelings of fear and joy flooded within her body. She felt like taking him into her arms and crying.

"I have to go now," He said simply.

"But why? Where will you go?"

He'd come out of nowhere but now she didn't want him to leave.

"My sister is here. I have to go."

The boy struggled for a moment to get to his feet. Katya went to help him but in no time he was stable and focused up shore. She looked into the direction the child was staring and saw a familiar little figure with a shy smile standing only yards away. Awaiting the blonde boy was the same auburn haired little girl from the other shore. The child she'd met on Laura's beach. The child with eyes that looked like the sea.

"Rybka?"

The little girl glanced at Katya and sweetly waved.

"Sestra? Ty kto, little one?" Katya asked as she glanced to her side where the boy had only just stood but he was gone.

When she looked back up shore for his waiting companion she found that the other child had vanished as well. She was alone on the beach again. The sky grew dark and the waves seemed to go flat. Above her a gull flew by casting its shadow on the sand. She looked up at the bird and when it opened its beak it didn't caw but let out familiar thunderous buzz.

" Katya! Kat wake up! " Alexi's voice called over the sound.

The buzzing continued and when the beach faded from Katya's vision the sound stayed with her.

" Kat get up! Get dressed! "

ACTION STATIONS.

ACTION STATIONS.

ALL HANDS ON DECK.

Her head throbbed. It felt like lead as she tried to pick it up from her pillow.

"What time is it?" She groaned.

"0700. What does it matter, Katya? No time to be hung over. Shake it off!"

"Fuck. Was there a breach?"

"No. I dunno. I don't think so. I didn't feel any signal effects. At least not yet. Usually by this time I'm on the ground," Alexi remarked as he shoved his legs into his pants. "I feel fine."

Katya blinked hard.

"Me too," She said with some surprise. "Sort of."

Though they both felt the consequences of a night of drinking neither seemed to be displaying the signs of the bot's signal they'd come to expect during such events.

"So then maybe something else is up," Alexi suggested as he slipped on one of his holsters. "Either way, if we aren't feeling it then it's time to report. Get up! "

"Damn it!" Katya groused, throwing off the sheets. "Happy fucking New Year!"

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 119B: ASSIGNMENT; TIGH

YEAR: 2316

It was the first Orbit breach of the New Year. It was also the first time all six resurrected souls were on the same station during such an event.

When Bill woke to the sound of marine guards pounding on the hatch of his cabin it took a moment for him to register the buzz of the alarms. He instantly had a sense of dread come over him. It wasn't just knowing that the system was likely under attack. It was knowing that as soon as he turned over in bed he would find Laura suffering with symptoms from the bot signal. To his surprise this time he found her sitting up, unencumbered, alert and alarmed. They both quickly dressed and followed their marine and centurion guards to the Tigh's cabin. Upon their arrival they were glad to find that it wasn't just Laura. The cylon couple was also unaffected by the signal.

Specific protocol had yet to be established for such an event now that Sam, D'Anna and the Agathons were also aboard Alpha. Without much time to think Ellen had given the order that they be brought to the cabin as well. Within thirty minutes of the first buzz of the alarm they were all together in the same room for the first time since Sam and D'Anna's resurrections on Delta Station. They sat with each other, late into the first morning of the New Year without anyone saying much. In was an eerie sort of quiet that settled among them. There was minimal discussion. Saul relayed limited intel that he was getting from the feed on his cuff. Knowing that most of them had been drinking the night before Ellen made nervous scattered offers from a pitcher which she claimed was the Tigh Family cure for hangovers.

There was a short discussion over the fact that none of them had reported feeling ill after the alarms sounded. At one point Alexi arrived to take up post outside the hatch. He momentarily came inside and confirmed that he and Katya hadn't experienced any signs of the usual episode either and that they were both able to report to duty right away. Though he was unable to verify it for certain, he was confident that Margot and Blaze were both up and well too. On Saul's orders the Sergeant left and took his place outside.

Ellen hated the feeling that hung in the air of her home. Everywhere she looked someone sat in solemn tired silence with a look of anger, disappointment and resentment on their face.

Helo and Athena sat on one end of the sofa without much space between them. Sharon was nervously rubbing at a spot on her arm as Helo soothingly rubbed at her shoulders. On the other end of the sofa Laura seemed to be watching the couple intently, though Ellen couldn't be sure that she wasn't just staring blankly in their direction.

Bill and Saul sat like angry bookends at each side of the kitchen table, both with reports displayed over their station cuffs. The only sounds between them were quiet mutterings and grunts when new alerts would come in.

D'Anna took a chair in a corner of the living area by Saul's desk. She'd hardly made eye contact with anyone since she'd arrived. She had been expecting to be reprimanded for her late interactions with Michelle Le Blanc yet no one had brought it up. She supposed it was possible the doctor had simply kept the incident to herself. Either way D'Anna wanted to lay low. She sat there and stared into the void pretending her surroundings were more pleasant and serene than they actually were.

When Sam arrived Ellen was surprised that he had followed his guards to the cabin without much protest at all. When she greeted him she could tell that he was probably too hungover to have put up much of a fight. He took a seat in a chair across from the Agathons and with his feet clumsily propped up on the coffee table he fell to sleep soon after.

As the morning passed Ellen tried to keep busy. She brought out glasses of ice water that went mostly untouched. When she put out a plate of fruit slices that had been meant for her New Year's gathering no one even noticed. The more she looked at the faces of the people around her and the more she heard Bill and Saul whispering over what was going on in Orbit the more she felt like a total failure. When noon came she poured herself a large glass of the first bottle she could find. She took a seat on the sofa between Laura and the Agathons and started to quietly sip away.

Laura had been distracted by Sharon all morning. She wasn't sure why. She just couldn't seem to take her eyes away from her. A few times she worried that she would appear to be gawking but Sharon looked so distracted that she never even seemed to notice. The way she was rubbing at her arm was strange. Laura tried to stop herself from looking but it was as if her gaze we being pulled in the other woman's direction. She was strangely grateful when Ellen plopped in between them. She blocked Laura's view of Sharon as she began her forlorn pattern of sips and sighs.

"It's a little early for a drink that stiff don't you think?" Laura half teased.

"I should have started the moment I woke up this morning," Ellen answered in a low voice.

Laura could feel the bitterness emanating from the woman at her side. She could feel her regret and her disappointment. She could feel her worry and her fear. It was so powerful that Laura wondered if she could actually be reading her, the way Ellen said she might be able to. It felt like an invasion so she tried to force herself to stop it.

"It's okay, Laura," Ellen told her with a lazy shrug. "It doesn't bother me."

Laura gulped. She hadn't meant to but she'd sensed the cylon's emotions. The feelings were so strong that she'd almost felt them herself. Even worse was the realization that Ellen could tell that she was doing it. Laura felt her face go hot. She supposed she should have expected it. Katya could do it after all but the revelation was still a harsh one. Was she no better than Vladi scanning his counterparts with his roaming red eye? Laura tried to appear confused but she dropped the act when Ellen took another big swig and started to bitterly chuckle to herself.

"Don't worry, Laura. I won't do it to you," She reassured her.

Laura nodded and for a moment they sat quietly until Ellen let out another acrid laugh.

"What is it?" Laura asked.

"So much for my family dinner," Ellen said with a shrug. "I guess I was a fool to think this year would be any different from the last," She lamented. Her eyes watered but she stubbornly held her tears back. "I told those kids to go out and have fun last night," She whispered as she looked down into her drink. "Do you think they did?"

Laura wasn't sure what to say that would comfort her.

"They seemed to," She offered.

They were both distracted when Helo spoke up.

"Any update, Colonel?" He asked over his shoulder, looking toward the kitchen.

"Yeah. Airbots have been in a holding pattern around Orbit for over three hours now. Driving our pilots frakking nuts. That's all we got."

"Holding pattern?" Helo questioned.

Before Saul could clarify the hatch burst open and three sets of boots clamored noisily inside.

Everyone shot up in their seats. Anders finally awoke from his post-bender snooze. They were all relieved to see who had entered.

"What the hell are you two doing here?" Saul grumbled as he stood up and forcefully pushed back his chair with an angry squeak.

"Gee, Colonel," Blaze sardonically greeted with Katya by his side. "Happy New Year to you too."

The two pilots stood looking over the room full of people with Alexi following at their backs.

"And you, Sergeant," Saul scolded. "Get back out there."

"Colonel, Vladi is out there with another centurion and two other marines," Alexi challenged.

Katya stepped up in his defense.

"We're only staying a second anyway, Uncle Saul. Besides Kaplan sent us."

"Kitten," Ellen greeted. "I'm so glad to see you."

"You too, Aunt Ellen but we can't stay."

Bill cleared his throat gaining the attentions of the room.

"Not that I'm unhappy to see you two but shouldn't you be in the control room?" He asked.

"Not anymore," Katya answered with a short smirk.

For a moment she'd forgotten not to look into her father's knowing eyes. She quickly looked away from him and instead continued to glance over the group.

"We came to check on your condition," Blaze clarified.

"Who's?" Saul asked skeptically.

"Yours," Blaze answered. "Ellen's, the rest. You're all really okay?"

"We are," The Colonel affirmed. "Except for being jammed in here together."

Blaze believed the man but he couldn't help but take careful account of everyone's condition.

"So none of you experienced even the slightest hints of signal effects since the breach?" He tested once more.

"What about you, Laura?" Katya questioned.

"No. Nothing thank the gods."

Katya wasn't surprised to hear that Laura was alright. If she hadn't felt it herself then there was little chance her mother had.

"What about you, Sharon?" Blaze said as he moved a bit closer to where his parents stood. "How are you feeling?"

Sharon tried to give her a son a smile but she knew it came off shaky and weak.

"I'm fine. I didn't feel a thing this time."

She hadn't felt any effects of the signal this time but she still didn't feel right. Her palm and arm throbbed more intensely than ever and she just couldn't shake the feeling of foreboding it gave her.

"You're sure?" Blaze asked, somewhat wary.

"Yes. I mean I didn't feel anything besides…"

"Your arm?" Blaze frowned."Again?" The young man asked, reaching out for his mother's forearm.

Laura watched as Blazer examined the spot on Sharon's skin. It was the same spot that she'd watched the woman compulsively rub at all morning.

"We don't have time for that, Blazer," Katya urged, pulling at her partner's elbow. "She said she's fine. A hurt arm has nothing to do with going catatonic. Margot is right. They didn't emit the signal this time. So let's go!"

" What are you talking about? " Saul growled.

Katya stopped pulling at her partner and turned to her uncle with a sigh of impatience.

"When Kaplan realized that none of us were affected this morning he called Margot to the control room," Katya started to explain far too quickly.

Blaze shot her look. She was so eager to get going. She wasn't giving anyone the courtesy of a good explanation. He continued for her, addressing the small gathering as calmly as he could.

"Margot says that this can only mean that the bots didn't bother with the interference signal in Orbit this time. We are still getting readings of it down at the atmosphere line. It's still not safe for anyone to go that close to Earth but it doesn't seem like they sent the emission out here this time. Margot checked readings from the basestar. She's not picking anything up."

"And she's right," Katya interjected, unable to control herself. "Why would they? They see now that her firewall has been protecting the basestar, the centurions and the raiders during the last few attacks in Orbit. The signal has no effect on them anymore so why would they bother sending it out just to incapacitate a few people on board? They don't know that Margot's fix didn't work on us. Why use the energy just to get us on our asses for a few minutes? It's pointless. They have their atmosphere barrier. That's all they care about. We're stuck up here. Now they're just picking us off ," She rambled.

"Kitten, calm down," Ellen said, shaking her head and trying to wrap her mind around the information Katya and Blaze had just rattled off.

"Okay. Great," Saul caustically retorted with a dramatic shrug. "No more falling on my ass with my eye rolling around in the back of my head every time we have AirBots in Orbit. Good news. You could have messaged us to let us know that. You two report back to your posts," He ordered.

Katya sighed, growing frustrated with Saul's reluctance to read through the lines.

"The only place we're reporting to is the flight deck," She told him.

Behind her Alexi's eye's narrowed in disbelief and surprise.

"What?"

He obviously didn't like what he was hearing. Katya ignored her husband, keeping her back to him and facing Saul.

"The hell you are," Her uncle mocked.

"Katya, what are you talking about?" Bill asked in a more even but no less concerned tone.

Though she made sure not to look directly at Bill Adama she wouldn't ignore his question. Somehow it felt even more strange to be near him now. She felt like she had held the same conversation with him a hundred times before; defending her capabilities, arguing over her safety. It was surreal.

"Margot convinced Kaplan," Katya shrugged. She looked away from Bill, down at her boots and then back to the relative comfort of Saul's angry glare. "She said there was no readable signal coming in. Blaze and I were only grounded because of that signal. If it's not incapacitating us anymore then we can get back out there."

In a far corner D'Anna quietly smiled to herself; proud that her daughter had proven to be such an asset to her people.

"Kitten. No," Ellen piped in.

As Katya looked at her she couldn't tell if her eyes were glassy with tears of worry or from a morning's worth of alcohol.

"Think about this rationally, honey. Please?"

"I have, Aunt Ellen. Why should Blaze and I let our squad go out there and risk their lives without us if we are perfectly able to fly by their sides?"

"Katya, you can't be serious," Alexi added.

She whipped around to face him.

"I am," She answered firmly. "We both are."

"Blazer," Helo started, doing his best to hide his worry. "Don't you think that it might be smart to sit out a few more runs? What if they send out this signal again while you're in flight? I've watched Sharon suffer through it. I know it doesn't last long but you can't fly like that. It'll take a fraction of a second for an AirBot to see a weak bird and blast it right out of Orbit."

"With all due respect," Blaze started to answer " Cmdr. Kaplan told us to stop here and make sure with our own eyes that none of you had any signs of the signal effects. Then he told us to report to C-deck. We both appreciate your concerns but we're going with the judgment of our commander."

Blaze could see that both Sharon and Helo looked terrified to hear that he was going out into possible combat. He tried to keep his tone even and calm, hoping it would help sooth their apprehensions.

Ellen rubbed at her tired eyes and pounding forehead trying to think of anything to say that would stop Katya and Blazer from reporting. She'd been spoiled having them grounded and in her sights for the past few months.

"Helo is right!" She suddenly snapped. "You don't know that they won't send the signal out at any time. What are you going to do if you seize up mid-flight!? "

" Why would they?! " Katya immediately shot back. They were wasting time with explanations. She wanted to go get suited up. "Margot is right. There is no point for them to send that emission out into Orbit anymore. It's not stopping our raiders. It's not incapacitating the basestar or our centurions. As long as they have the signal at the atmosphere line serving as a proverbial fence they can just keep us out here in Orbit until they've killed us all! We aren't going to sit around in the Control room and let them! We're gunna fight em till we can't!"

"We're more useful out there, Ellen," Blaze added. "Colonel you know that," He said turning to Saul with a shrug.

"The boy is right," Came Sam's haggard and hungover voice came from where he still sat slumped in his chair. "Think about it."

The man's remark made Alexi's face go hot with anger.

"Hey, no one asked you!" The Sergeant growled in Sam's direction.

The boom of his voice made Laura jump in her skin.

"Would everyone just settle down for a moment?" She pleaded.

"We have to go!" Katya insisted.

"You're going back to the Control Room ," Saul returned. " The both of you! When you get there you tell Kaplan it was on my orders and you have him call me."

" What? " Katya spat. "You're going against the commander?"

"I think Saul is right," Bill agreed. "Take it from me; the man in charge isn't always making the right calls."

"This is fucking ridiculous!" Katya shrieked.

"You have to let her go," Anders interrupted once more. "Think about it, Admiral, Colonel. I mean really, really think about it. Have you ever been safer with her aboard than you have when she was in the air? Let her do what she was meant to do."

Both Bill and Saul looked back at their daughter. For a moment they were uncharacteristically silent, unsure of what to say.

"Katya, can I please talk to you for a second?" Alexi angrily pleaded.

"You get back to your post!" Saul shouted taking his frustrations out on the Sergeant.

"There are two other marines and two centurions out there, Colonel! Can I please have a moment with my wife?!"

Saul sighed and shook his head in surrender.

" Fine! You talk some frakking sense into her! " He barked at the couple as they headed toward the hatch.

Unable to comfort himself Saul went to his wife and put a protective and reassuring arm around her worried shaking shoulders. Bill went to Laura to do the same while Blazer quietly tried to ease Sharon and Helo's apprehensions. Even lost in their own worries they could all hear the hushed angry tones coming from the young couple by the doorway.

"Katya, what are you thinking? " Alexi said through gritted teeth.

"That I can finally do my damn job, " Katya went back at him in a defensive harsh whisper.

"You could be killed ."

"I could be killed on this station, Alexi. Last week the bots got aboard. We were both almost gunned down. I'm not gunna let that happen this time."

"Katya, think of what you're doing ," Alexi snapped.

His face was red and the veins in his solid neck prominent.

"Lex. what are you saying? That you never want me to fly again?" She questioned in disbelief. "Look, first there was my accident, then I was on medical leave after we found out…but…Alexi, if the signal never started to affect me I would have gone back out there as soon as I was fit. If I didn't have this damn cylon DNA I would have been in the air the day I was released from the civilian ward."

"Katya…"

"We never talked about me giving up flying, Alexi. We never agreed to that. I know it's dangerous. That's why we went to that lawyer. That's why Margot and Tawny signed all of those documents with us months ago. We have plans in place if anything ever happened to one of us. You didn't agree to give up your job and I didn't either."

"Yekaterina, think of all you could lose."

"Think of what we won't even have to lose if we don't send every capable fighter pilot out there. We need a future to live in, Lex. You think you're really any safer aboard? You remember the sound of bullets flying at your head last week don't you?"

"Katya that's not the same thi…"

"I'm going, Alexi," She said cutting him off.

Alexi looked down at his boots and bit his tongue. He knew that she wasn't going to change her mind. She wasn't going out there to be stubborn. She was going because she believed in fighting for the life she wanted. Even so he resented her for leaving.

"It's my duty, Lex," She continued. "You stay and do yours so we'll both have a home and a family to come back to tonight."

Alexi ground his teeth together. He gave her a nod and then wrenched the hatch open to retake his post outside.

Katya flinched when the door slammed.

"Kitten?" Ellen called as she made her way to where Katya was standing.

"I have to get going, Aunt Ellen."

Once Ellen was by her side Katya could tell that the booze had a lot more do with her current reaction than worry. She still felt for her. They were supposed to be celebrating the holiday as a family today. Now Ellen would worry herself sick until they saw one another again.

"Baby, Uncle Saul is right. Maybe you should stay aboard."

Katya frowned. The woman's voice was almost pleading. Before she could reassure her another voice of concern came over Ellen's shoulder.

"Just as a precaution, Katya?" Laura appealed.

Katya looked past Ellen to see her birthmother standing there looking almost as helpless and petrified.

"This is only the first time that they haven't sent the signal out," Laura attempted. "Just stay home. Please?."

Ellen wiped at her tears and nodded in agreement.

"You don't have to go, kit."

Katya bit her lip. At least the two of them would be in good company.

"Yes I do."

Bill slowly came up behind Laura and put his hands on her shoulders. For some reason this time Katya couldn't help but meet his eyes.

"Good hunting, Captain," He told her firmly even as Laura seemed to tremble under his hands.

Katya nodded.

"Let's go, Koshka," Blaze called as he brushed passed her, opening the hatch.

"I'll be home," She told her parents. "I promise."

LOCATION: INNER ORBIT; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

ALPHA QUADRANT

LUNA FORCE SQUADRON: ENEMY BREACH

YEAR: 2316

"You good, Koshka?" Blaze asked over his com.

"I feel fine. I'd be a lot better if I could tell what the hell these things are doing. We've been out here for hours. They circle, they come back. Over and over."

"It's still the same in the other quadrants too,” Blaze answered.

They had been hovering out there watching the sight for hours.

"Something is up. Doesn't make sense, LT."

"CAG is gunna call us home in a few, Koshka. I'm almost at BINGO. What a waste of a charge. They have the next squads ready to roll out."

"So they can sit here and stare at this parade?"

"Better than getting blown to shit," Blazer proposed before his cabin filled with the voice of a communications officer on Alpha.

LUNA AND HOT WING SQUADRONS THIS IS ALPHA ACTUAL

BE ALERTED THAT AIRBOT FLEET HAS BROKEN HOLDING PATTERN.

REPEAT; HOLDING PATTERNS HAS BEEN BROKEN.

WE SHOW MULTIPLE AIRBOTS STARTING TO HEAD INBOUND.

WEAPONS HOLD. AWAIT FURTHER INSTRUCTION.

"I see them," Katya answered over the com. "They widened the ellipse. Made it look like they were just branching out."

Blaze watched the Airbot fleet for a moment.

"Koshka, it looks like they're head for Omega."

He was right. The formation had broken making it appear as though they only meant to widen their patrol but now ships were branching off and heading right for the airspace of a quadrant pod.

"CAG this is Koshka; requesting to go in for a closer look toward Omega Pod."

"Request denied, Cap," Came her patrol captain's answer. "Sending out a team with some raiders. You and Blaze hang back this time."

" Damn it, ” She swore hitting her control panel with an open fist.

"It's alright, Koshka. Sit tight. We're here if they need us," Blaze reassured.

They were lucky enough to have been let out there. He wasn't surprised that they weren't their CAG's first choice for the front lines.

"Blazer?" Katya called as she watched the formation of Airbots zooming into Omega's airspace. Behind them were larger crafts than had been there before. "Blazer are you seeing this? That looks like an artillery ship!"

" Shit !"

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 119B: ASSIGNMENT; TIGH

YEAR: 2316

Half the day had passed since Katya and Blazer left the cabin. D'Anna continued to stay quiet and keep to herself. She knew that she had little other choice but to wait there until something changed.

Looking over to where her sister and Helo sat she was a little surprised to find herself feeling genuine compassion for the couple. Their son was most likely in the midst of battle. D'Anna was grateful that Margot was on board and close by. She knew that almost everyone else in the room was waiting to hear if their child was alive or dead. It made her think. Without speaking she attempted to call for Anders, unsure if he would even answer. She was amused when he actually turned to face her.

"What do you want," He answered with some contempt.

His eyes told her that he was angry she'd called on him that way.

"We're lucky aren't we?" She posed out loud.

He gave her a mocking glare.

"Yeah? How do you figure?"

D'Anna tilted her head and narrowed her eyes.

"Because she's not in harm's way," She told him. "At least not directly. She's relatively safe and close by. Can't you feel that?"

Sam squinted in confusion.

"Who?"

"Our daughter," D'Anna replied tightly. She watched Sam's face and shoulders drop. He shook his head and looked away from her. "Don't you care about her at all?" She tested. When he didn't answer she kept her tone low but went on. "I can feel how worried and concerned you are over that young captain," She suspiciously observed. "God knows why. If you spent any time with Margot you would see how worthy she is of love. Don't you have any room inside for your own child?" She asked. Anders turned his head slowly and looked back at D'Anna with a blank expression. He had no answer for her.

"You were one of the final five," She said shaking her head. "One of my own makers. I used to worship you," She told him with genuine disappointment in her eyes. "In this life…I pity you."

Anders turned away from her once more and looked down to his lap. He was pitiful. D’Anna was right. He hardly gave his supposed daughter much thought. As he sat there his mind mixed and stewed around Kara or Katya and this life and his last. The only time his thoughts strayed from the strange entanglement was when he thought of Tawny. He thought of her in his bed the night before, how she was there for him, how good it felt, and how she’d rushed out of his quarters when the alarms rang . He thought of her working in the ward as the wounded came in. He missed her company and comfort but even so his thoughts would always end up back on the captain. Through all of it Margot never really entered his mind. D'Anna was right. Margot didn't deserve to be dismissed by him but she also didn't deserve the sorry excuse of a man he was in this life. She was better off without him.

Sam was tired. His eyes were getting heavy again. Avoiding D'Anna he looked around the room to see Sharon and Helo hugging each other close. Roslin was nowhere to be found. He saw Ellen quietly crying into her drink alone at the kitchen table and before he let his eyes close he watched the Colonel leading the Admiral into the master bedroom. He wondered what the two men would speak of once they were out of earshot. Somehow he doubted either of them would admit what they felt to be true of their daughter, even in the privacy of one another's company. Sam let himself drift off again hoping there would be news once he awoke.

"What is it, Saul?" Bill asked as he closed the bedroom door behind them. "Did you hear something? Is it Katya?"

"No, no. Nothing like that," Saul assured as he went to the dresser. "Didn't mean to alarm you."

Bill swallowed his worry down in a gulp.

"I shouldn't leave Laura."

Saul shook his head as he went for a small box that sat atop the chest of drawers.

"Laura will be fine for a few minutes. I told her to go take a load off in Katya's old room. Let her rest. We could be in for a long night."

"I suppose," Bill conceded.

"I have something for you," Saul said reaching into the box and taking out a small shiny object.

He walked toward Bill and presented it in his outstretched palm.

"What's this?" Bill asked without reaching for it.

Saul looked down at his own hand and smiled.

"It's a gift," He said extending his palm once more. When Bill didn't take it he chuckled softly to himself and ran his thumb over the small silvery piece. "Kat wanted to be a pilot since she was little," Saul started to explain. "I think since the first story I ever told her about the fleet," He said as he fondly recalled the memory. "She asked me a million questions. The right ones too. Not just silly kid stuff. She was always so in tune with it. It was like she was meant to fly. She used to have me pick her up in my arms and fly her around the cabin. She loved it," He said with a grin, happy to see that the little anecdote had Bill smiling too. "There was a program aboard back then. The military kids could go spend a day with Alpha Pilots. They got shown around the barracks, the flight deck, had a snack in the mess, they even let the kids sit in the cockpit of a ship and take a picture. I took Kat one day. She was so excited. At the end of the program they gave out these little plastic pilot's wings," Saul explained as he held them up between two fingers. "The other kids all had rocket jocks pin theirs on but when it was Kat's turn to get hers she wanted me to pin them on her. I dunno why." Saul paused to clear some emotion from his throat. "Years later when she got her real wings I got to be the one who pinned those on her too. I was so proud of her. That night Ellen and I had a big dinner celebration for Kat's graduation. Katya stood up and she made a toast. She thanked us both and then she reached into the pocket of her uniform and she pulled out these old toy plastic wings. She gave them to me and she thanked me for helping her earn the real thing." Saul could vividly remember Katya leaning over and pinning the old childhood token to his chest. "I've had them ever since. Now I want you to have them."

Bill swallowed hard.

"She gave them to you , Saul. You helped her, guided her. Their yours."

"I know but the thing is…as soon as she gave them to me that night I knew that if you ever got to meet her I would pass them to you," Saul confessed. "See, Bill when I first became Katya's father I didn't know what I was doing. I had nothing to go on except what I had learned from you over the years. I just wanted to be half the father you were. I learned on my own little by little but it was always with your example in mind. Your memory always with me as I raised her so…in that way you've always been with Katya."

Bill couldn't speak for a moment. He took the heartfelt token from his friend and nodded, buying his voice some time.

"Thank you, Saul. I don't know what else to say."

Tigh nodded and let out a slow breath. He looked as if he wanted to say something but Bill saw him hesitate a few times before actually starting.

"I told you that she was a special girl, Bill," He finally said." I guess I never realized how special she really was in all these years. I'm only just seeing it now…and you…you've known her for all of six months and you see it already, don't you? Anders is right. Isn't he?" Saul tested.

Bill shook his head.

"Maybe…I don't know."

"Well, whoever…whatever…I just mean…as far as Katya goes; whatever you or I or frakking Sam Anders thinks about her," Saul stammered and started again. "Whatever feelings we might have, I think it's best we leave them be. I've known this girl most of her life. I love her. She is who she is. She's your daughter…and mine. I'd like to leave it at that. It's like you told Anders; it's all I need to know about her," Saul said decidedly. "Most important…I think it's best we both keep our feelings about it from Laura and Ellen," He added, his tone a bit more firm. "In this life, to them…she's just their little girl. I don't want to take that away from either of them on any level."

Bill thought for a moment before nodding in agreement.

"I think you're right about that, Saul."

Their cuffs buzzed in tandem cutting the air between them.

"The Omega Pod has been destroyed," Saul read aloud. "That's in this quadrant."

"How many people aboard?" Bill asked.

Saul shrugged. The system pods were small consisting of only a few hundred residents each. They mostly housed solar recharging stations for spacecraft and served as warehouses for military supplies or food and grain storage.

"Three, maybe four hundred," Saul shrugged.

"Why go after a pod?"

"Maybe Kat is right," Saul shrugged. "Maybe they're just trying to pick us all off little by little. A pod is an easier target than one of the stations."

Their cuffs buzzed again and this time Bill read the alert.

"Looks like the Airbots retreated after the pod was eliminated. Squadrons are being called home one by one. We should be able to downgrade to condition two within the next few hours. No update on casualties…civilian or otherwise."

Saul let out a deep sigh.

"When the condition is officially announced I'll arrange for extra security and you can all head back to your own cabins. Let's go alert the others I guess."

When Saul and Bill entered the room Ellen rose from her seat at the kitchen table. She wobbled a bit on her feet and her chair screeched as she pushed it back.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

"Nothing," Saul told her. "Combat seems to be over," He said omitting the loss of the pod.

"Any news on…"

"No," He said abruptly cutting her off.

Ellen wiped at her eyes.

Helo hung his head in disappointment and gave Sharon's hand a firm squeeze.

"Now what, Colonel?" He asked.

"As soon as they downgrade the alert you can all start heading back to your quarters," Tigh announced.

"When will we know…" Sharon started but Saul interrupted her thought.'

"I have no idea. But as soon as I know you will too, Athena."

"I should update Laura," Bill sighed as he started toward Katya's old room.

To his surprise Ellen stepped in his way. Her eyes were red and her makeup smudged.

"Let me?"

Bill grimaced at the thought but after a moment he nodded with a sigh, deciding to let her go.

Ellen inhaled slowly and turned, leaving the rest of her guests.

Laura had been sitting Katya's old bedroom for over an hour. When Saul suggested that she use the girl's old rack to get some rest she'd hesitated. It was partially because she was wary of leaving Bill's side in case of bad news but she was also worried that Ellen wouldn't like the idea of her entering Katya's room. When Saul insisted and Ellen didn't protest Laura made her way into the room leaving the door ajar.

The cabin's second bedroom was tiny. The unit had obviously been designed for a military family with no more than one child. There was minimal walking space between the rack and dresser. It had a narrow closet and its own head that was so cramped it made Laura think of the bathrooms aboard commercial domestic flights back on Caprica. Though the space was limited it felt larger the longer she stayed there. It felt lived in; like it had a history. Laura knew that Katya had moved out after her marriage. After almost a year it didn't look as though Ellen had changed much at all since the girl lived there. There were still family pictures projected on the walls and little items on shelves and atop the dresser; plastic figures of ballerinas, models of various rockets and spaceships. Everywhere Laura looked she saw a piece of her daughter's life. It was both overwhelming and comforting at the same time. When she'd first sat upon Katya's rack she felt her heart unexpectedly clench in her chest. This was where her child laid her head for years. She could almost feel her there; the nights of sweet peaceful dreams and the nights filled with awful nightmares and worries. She imagined Katya as a small child playing with stuffed animals atop the covers. Then she pictured her as a teen crossed-legged and studying for exams. It was Katya's space. It held her essence in every corner.

Laura felt the urge to crawl under the blankets and put her head down on the pillow. She wanted to immerse herself in the feeling completely. She wanted to feel as near to the life she'd missed as she possibly could. She resisted the urge. Instead she sat on top of the bed's quilt looking at every aspect of the room over and over, just trying to commit it to memory. She was exhausted but she wouldn't lie down. She wanted to be awake to hear that Katya was safe. She still couldn't imagine how Bill coped with his children in the service. She wondered how Saul and Ellen had dealt with it over the last few years. If this was what it felt like to know that your child was in imminent danger she didn't know how anyone could possibly survive the repeated stress and worry. At one point she'd reached into the pocket of her sweater and pulled out its tiny contents. She held Katya's little matryoshka doll in her palm as she so often did. She'd been rolling it between her thumb and index finger as she sat hunched on the side of the rack. Eventually she lost track of time.

When Ellen entered the room the matryoshka in Laura's hand was the first thing she noticed. She watched Laura perched on her daughter's rack as she rolled the tiny doll between her worried fingers. Ellen thought that she would be able to handle seeing Laura on Katya's bed but the sight of the familiar doll rattled her nerves. She swallowed hard before she spoke.

"She gave you that?" Ellen asked in lieu of a greeting.

Ellen's voice made Laura jump. She quickly closed her fingers around the little toy as if she'd been caught with it, as if she shouldn't have it.

"Yes," She answered, looking up at the other woman.

Ellen nodded and stepped forward, leaving the door open behind her. She watched as Laura clenched her fist like she was afraid the little trinket would be taken away from her. She stopped and stood in the small space between Katya's dresser and bed.

"When?"

Laura licked her lips before she answered.

"Months ago. Right before the Beta download. It was when I first went to apologize to her. She told me that it was a traditional toy from the…"

"I know exactly what it is, Laura," Ellen snapped.

She flinched at her own tone. She hadn't meant to be so harsh.

Laura nodded. She hated that she even felt the need to explain why the doll was in her possession.

"I know it seems strange to have it with me. Ever since she gave it to me I almost always carry it. It makes her feel close when I'm away from her," She said with a shrug as she looked around the room filled with Katya's personal effects. "It's the only thing I have of hers," Laura finished.

Ellen forced herself to remain stone-faced but internally she scoffed at the last part of Laura's explanation. How could she think that way? Laura had Katya's blood, her DNA, she'd given her life. She could claim all of that and yet she felt like a silly doll was all that she had of her child. She had more of Katya than Ellen ever could and yet she didn't see it that way. Ellen didn't understand why. She remained silent and Laura started to speak again.

"It's the only thing that makes me feel connected her childhood, to the time that I missed with her. I've become a little attached to it," She admitted looking down at the doll's cherubic little face. "But I'm going to give it back. I've been meaning to. I can tell it was special to her. She gave it to me as a peace offering, nervously on a very tense day. I'm sure she would like to have it back."

Ellen narrowed her eyes and shook her head.

"No. If Katya gave you that then she wanted you to have it, Laura."

"And I appreciate it more than she'll ever know, but it's hers. It should go back with the set. Maybe once all of this is over I'll find the right time to return it."

Ellen stood staring at Laura with her mouth softly parted and brow furrowed. She shook her head and sighed. Her eyes watered and she turned, heading for her bedroom and leaving Laura to sit there with her eyes still downcast at the little painted doll. Laura heard Ellen return a minute later. She looked up to see her standing in front of her with her palm outstretched. In her hand sat a tiny pair of soft ballet slippers. Laura's brow crinkled.

"What's that?"

"What's it look like?" Ellen weakly chided."They're your baby's first pair of shoes."

Laura's mouth went dry as she looked at the little pink pair. She couldn't speak.

"Once Katya came to live with us her things were sent over from Isakoff's cabin," Ellen explained. "He must have saved these for her. He was so determined that she carry on his culture's traditions. He must have started her early," She mused.

They were Katya's first pair of ballet slippers of no real use, probably worn when she could hardly take a step on her own; blush pink with tiny bows and soft soles.

"I never got to see her wear them," Ellen continued, her voice less than steady. "Well…except maybe in Isakoff's old videos and pictures. I kept them because I liked to imagine that I had her back then, when she would have still needed a hand to help her walk, when she would have still been small enough to be cradled in my arms. I know what you mean about the doll, Laura." Ellen admitted, unable to stop herself from cringing at her own words. "These always made me feel connected to the time that I missed with her. If you're going to give that doll back then take these."

Laura's jaw trembled.

"What?" She whispered.

Ellen sucked back her tears and let out a breath.

"Remember it's a holiday, Laura. This is the time of year that the people of this civilization give each other gifts. Think of this as me trying to further acclimate you into society," She half kidded trying to get through the emotion, her voice shaking all the while.

Laura's eyes were unblinking and suddenly filled to the brim.

"Ellen, I can't."

"It's a gift, Laura," Ellen said as her palm started to tremble. "A gift. Get it?"

Laura shook her head, dislodging a few tear drops.

"Ellen, I can't take your child's shoes."

"Yes you can. Yes you frakking can, Laura. Just take them. Take them."

"Ellen…"

"I have so many memories, Laura," Ellen snapped again, cutting her off. "So many. Look around. My home is filled with so many memories that I can't possibly count them all so just frakking take one."

Laura looked into Ellen's wet eyes. She reached her quivering hand toward the outstretched offering. She knew that Ellen had just figuratively told her to take one memory. Quite literally Laura took one shoe and left its mate in the other woman's hand.

Ellen looked down at the remaining slipper and quickly stopped herself from telling Laura to take the other. She'd left it on purpose. Ellen looked back down at the remaining shoe and nodded as her tears fell quietly but freely.

"Thank you, Laura" Ellen whispered. "Thank you."

They both knew the thanks was for more than just the remaining memento. It was for more than just sharing the heartache of lost time. During the last ambush Laura had finally thanked Ellen for raising her baby. Now Ellen was finally thanking Laura for having hers.

They both quietly composed themselves, unable to make much eye contact with one another.

Ellen cleared her throat.

"Saul just got an alert. Combat is over. We have no update on casualties. They're going to downgrade to condition two soon. You're all allowed to head back to your cabins with some extra security as soon as that happens but…uh… you and Bill are welcome to stay until she comes home," Ellen offered. "She'll be home."

Laura softly nodded in thanks.

Quietly Ellen turned and exited, leaving Laura to spend all the time she wanted in Katya's room. She headed for her bedroom to put the little shoe back without its mate.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

C-DECK

YEAR: 2316

Under Cmdr. Kaplan's orders Margot was on the flight deck to welcome Blazer and Koshka aboard. Though the specialist had gotten word of the pilots status seeing their faces as they each stepped out of their ships was a great relief. After a few hugs and welcoming words the three headed off deck and toward the lockers.

"So you both felt fine all day?" Margot questioned.

"I did," Blaze said with a nod.

"Me too," Katya followed.

Margot nodded.

"Yeah. So did I. I don't think we are going to have to worry about getting sick anymore every time there is a breach. It's the atmosphere line the care about."

Blaze stopped to hand his helmet to a deckhand and gave the specialist a pat on the back as they continued walking.

"Well, that's probably in big thanks to your partial fix, Margot. You got the raiders and centurions up and running, you protected the basestar. They wouldn't have stopped if it weren't for you," He encouraged.

She shrugged.

"Yeah well at least I was able to do some good."

Katya scoffed at her friend's humble response.

"We would be gone by now if it wasn't for your firewall."

"I didn't save anyone today," Margot said with a heavy heart.

Katya bit at her lip.

"That pod just…blew," She said quietly. "Never saw anything like it before in Orbit."

Margot looked at both pilots and saw them go from shades of green to ashen pale at the memory.

"You did good today," She told them. "Both of you. Kaplan was proud. On a more selfish note…" She started, hoping to ease the grim mood, "The breach got the commander to expedite my orders. I'm officially a communications officer on Alpha Station."

Blaze forced a smile.

"We're glad to have you, Margot."

He was happy to have her aboard. He was just still shaken from what he'd witnessed.

Katya's cuff buzzed as they walked. She looked down at the message and sighed heavily.

"What's up, Cap?" Blaze asked.

"Lex said he's leaving my parents for a while. His Lt. General is aboard and he's being debriefed. Everyone was escorted home from my parents place. I guess I'll change and head there to wait for him. Either of you wana come?"

"I'm still on duty," Margot shrugged. "Back to the control room for me."

Blaze shook his head.

"I'm going to shower quick and then check on Helo and Athena."

"Alright," Katya said with a nod.

They all paused as the entrance to the locker rooms came near.

"Listen, Kat," Margot started. “Within the next couple of days we will all make the effort to head to the civilian side and join you and Lex down in the lab for a while. The four of us haven't been there all together yet. It’s my fault. I think it would be good. Kinda like a little family visit."

Katya inhaled deeply at the thought and nodded.

"I'd like that."

The three dispersed and soon Katya found herself rushing to rid herself of her flight suit in the locker room. Once it was off and given to a deckhand she left in a hurry. She had no desire to be there any longer. After what she'd witness she just wanted to get home like she promised she would.

When Katya reached the Tigh's hatch there were still two marines and two identical centurions standing guard. She could tell in an instant that one was Vladi which meant Bill and Laura must still be inside. She greeted him with a hand to his metal chest and he scanned her with his sweeping eye. She mustered up a smile for her friend before addressing the marine guards.

"Ma'am," One of them greeted with a salute. "Glad to see you're safely back aboard."

"Thank you. Glad to be home."

"The Lt. General is aboard," The marine explained. "He summoned Sgt. Petrov to a debriefing. He'll be back shortly."

"Thanks, Corporal. Alexi already let me know. I'm just going to wait for him inside."

"Yes, Ma'am."

"Happy New Year," She tepidly muttered as she ran her cuff over the access panel and made her way inside.

When Katya entered the cabin the lights were dim. The image screen was on but it was blank. Its white light shone onto the sofa where Bill and Saul sat on opposite ends; both slumped over and fast asleep. She looked toward her parent's bedroom door. She could see the lights were still on. Ellen was probably still worried and wide awake. Either that or she'd drank so much that she passed out on the bed while attempting to wait up. Another look around showed no sign of Laura. Katya figured that she must have been escorted home after all, leaving Bill to wait on their behalf.

Katya considered waking both men and alert them to the fact that she was home. She supposed that she should. She sighed and stretched, still in the confines of her jumpsuit. She'd taken off her flight suit and gear in the locker rooms but stopped at the protective coverall. She couldn't get out of there fast enough. She walked all the way home in the skin tight garment that she hadn't worn in months. Now that she was out of the cockpit with her adrenaline fading she was starting to feel how much the suit compressed her sore chest and how unforgiving the fabric really was. It was making her sweat. Katya wasn't sure how long she would be waiting for Alexi and she couldn't stand to be in the suit a moment longer. She decided to search her old room for some gym clothes before she woke her family. She quickly and quietly bypassed the two men and headed for her bedroom door. There was a dim light on but she thought little of it. Saul and Ellen usually kept the room lit when they had company so that guests could use the second head. She started unzipping the front of her jumper before she could even close the door behind her. When she heard a gasp she nearly leaped out of the second spandex skin.

" Katya ," Laura croaked, sitting up on the bed.

At some point Laura had given into exhaustion and laid down with her head on Katya's pillow.

" Damn it, Laura . You scared the hell out of me," Katya scowled. "I didn't see you out there. I figured you went home," She half scolded.

"I'm sorry," Laura said shaking the haze from her head. "Gods, I'm so glad that you're back. We've all been worried sick."

Katya raised her brow and gave a cynical chuckle as she made her way to the dresser.

"Yeah, sure. I can tell by the way you all waited up," She said with a roll of her eyes.

She continued to unzip the front of her jumpsuit to her waist and kicked off her boots before starting to rummage through her drawers, giving Laura her back.

"You mean the others are asleep?"

"It looks like everyone else has gone home," Katya noted as she closed one drawer and opened another. "But Uncle Saul and the Admiral are both out cold on the couch. I didn't stick my head in the bedroom but I'm guessing Ellen passed out too or she probably would have been waiting at the door. She usually can't sleep when she knows I'm out in combat, which means she's probably tanked. How many did she have?"

Katya proceeded to shrug the suit off of her shoulders and dropped it to her hips as she looked back at Laura for an answer.

"She did wait up," Laura attempted to assure her. "She did. At least she tried. When the station alert was downgraded she had Sam, D'Anna and the Agathons escorted back to their cabins. When Saul got the news that your squadron was called in he told her that it was a good sign and that she should go rest until he confirmed you were aboard. She did drink quite a bit. She was beside herself all day. She must have drifted off."

Laura watched as Katya nodded and casually continued to disrobe. She seemed comfortable and at ease so Laura didn't offer to step out. She figured that Katya would have no problem asking her to go if that's what she wanted. The young woman shimmied out of her jumpsuit and kicked it away from her feet as if it had bitten her. Laura's eyes were quickly drawn to Katya's now bare ribs. She'd seen her tattoos once before. She'd also seen hints of them the night before through the lace of her dress but she'd never been able to make them out completely. The cat against the moon was easy enough to decipher, Laura decided. It was probably homage to Katya's call sign and squadron. The markings on the other side were far more alien. After a moment Laura recognized the characters that seemed to make up a singular word. They resembled the writing on the vodka bottles from Gamma Station and the inscription on Katya and Alexi's wedding bands. Though the lettering was familiar Laura knew that there was no way she could ever make out the inked word.

"Doshka," Katya said as she slipped on a pair of little black gym shorts.

She continued to rustle through the dresser looking for a comfortable shirt.

"Excuse me?"

"You're staring at my tattoo, aren't you?" Katya said plainly as she pulled out an old gray Alpha rec-room t-shirt. "That's what it says in old Cyrillic text. Doshka."

She looked back at Laura who seemed a little embarrassed to have been caught in her observation.

Katya just smirked and pulled the shirt over her head.

"Saul brought me to get it a few years ago on the anniversary of my father's death. Ellen was mad because I was still underage. When I got to the inking machine Uncle Saul told me to pick anything I wanted. It was supposed to be for my father but in some ways I knew that would upset Ellen even more. I typed in Doshka; daughter . That way it wasn't just for him," Katya shrugged. "Daughter. How could she stay mad at that? Ya know?"

Laura nodded as she watched Katya standing there in shorts and a t-shirt looking a good five years younger than she had in her boots and jumpsuit just moments ago.

"So," Katya prompted. "Why didn't you two go home when the others did?"

"Saul and Ellen said it would be alright," Laura explained. "We wanted to wait until you came back" She looked down at her lap for a moment before giving Katya her eyes again. "I just…I'll never know how Saul and Ellen have gotten through the last few years of your service. I'll never understand how Bill ever endured watching his son in battle. I uh…I couldn't leave until I saw you," She finished, slightly blushing at the admission.

"Oh."

"I'm sorry. I hope you don't mind that I found my way in here," Laura winced, sliding her legs off of the side of the bed as if preparing to leave. "Ellen told me it would be alright to rest on your rack until you came home. Bill and Saul promised that they would let us both know the moment they heard from you but…well…you see their condition. I'm not sure either of them drank much less than Ellen did. It was a long day for everyone. You should really let them know that you're home, Ellen especially. She was worried sick."

Katya nodded through a stretch and a yawn.

"I will. I just need to decompress for a sec," She said as stepped toward the bed.

"I really wasn't sleeping," Laura maintained, worried that Katya truly thought her family hadn't cared enough to await her safe arrival. She honestly hadn't been sleeping. As tired and groggy as she was her mind just wouldn't let her totally drift off without knowing that her daughter was safe. "I mean, in another few moments I might have been. I didn't hear you come through the front hatch."

Katya shrugged dismissively.

"It's fine. It doesn't bother me that you all passed out. I want to do the same thing right about now. I'm not used to the cockpit anymore. My back, among other things, is killing me."

"I really wasn't sleeping," Laura insisted.

It made Katya laugh a little under her breath.

"Okay, whatever. Just scoot over," She instructed with a little wave of her hand.

"What?"

"Scoot  over," Katya repeated with sardonic emphasis. "I want to lie down."

"I can get up, Katya. It's your bed. Now that I know you're home safe I should really wake Bill and head back to our cabin. It's getting late. You were out there all day."

"If they were so worried all day then let them sleep. Alexi will be back soon and we'll head back to our place. I just need five minutes, now scoot over," She insisted. "C'mon. It's fine. Ellen and I fit all the time."

Laura frowned. Fitting wasn't really her concern. For a split second she debated getting up and leaving Katya to get some needed rest alone. In the next second she was berating herself for looking for an excuse to leave. Her daughter wanted to lay down by her side and she was instinctively looking for a way out. What was wrong with her? With some hesitance Laura slid herself backward closer to the wall. In no time Katya was settled down next to her on the little mattress. Laura didn't know what to do with herself.

"You know you really should tell Ellen that you're back, Katya."

As soon as she said the words she winced and hoped that Katya wouldn't choose to listen right away. It was like a defensive compulsion. Would her inclination to create distance never change?

"I will," The girl answered with another yawn. "I'll go in a sec."

Laura let her breath out and tried to make herself relax in the small space between Katya's tired body and the cool cabin wall. As she watched some of the tension start to leave the young pilot's frame she felt her own relief start to flood in. Her daughter was home, unharmed and resting inches from her grasp.

She'd dreamed of nights like this; able to comfort her child at her bedside. Why had she been so resistant to lay with her? This was something she'd missed, something she wanted. It was a tight fit on the little bed but suddenly Laura had never felt so content.

"I'm so glad that you're home safe," She said again softly.

Katya blinked her heavy eyes a few times, forcing them to stay open.

"I'm glad too but safe is an overstatement. I'm not safe. None of us are," She sighed, thinking of all she'd witnessed over the last few hours. "It was strange out there today and not just because I haven't been in flight for months. The Airbots were just…weird. At first there wasn't much combat. It was like a standoff in all quadrants. Then without warning they started gunning for the Orbit pods. Artillery ships came up out of nowhere."

"Saul mentioned that," Laura said with a sympathetic grimace.

The scene replayed in Katya's mind's eye and it made her stomach flip.

"The pods have some military protection but the airfields around them aren't as secure. They house small populations and little resources. The bots know that. It's not like they eliminated some big important target. It was as if they were just showing us what they could do. They ignored the main stations and went for innocent people. Alpha lost the Omega pod and Gamma Quadrant lost two; Kappa and Zeta. I watched Omega burn into nothing. Then the Airbots just started to retreat. It was like they were just sending us a message. The pods are small. They mostly store minimal supplies and goods for shipments and overlays. They house fewer than four hundred residents each. Still, three pods gone; that will probably add up to near twelve hundred people lost today. I keep track…in the journal I told you I have now," Katya confessed. "I've never had to subtract that many souls in one day before."

Katya's admission hit Laura like a punch to the gut as she imagined the young women keeping such a familiar somber tally.

"I have," She told her without much volume to her voice.

Katya turned on her side and propped herself up to face Laura.

"How did you stomach it? How did you ever sleep at night?"

Laura paused and tried to remember what she usually tried so hard to forget. She remembered the pain and the loss. She remembered the burden and the responsibility. She hated that Katya knew the feeling now herself.

"Sometimes I couldn't. Mostly I tried to look to the future. I focused on the next crisis at hand. On nights when it was too overwhelming I focused on faith. I prayed."

Katya nodded. She supposed it was the same advice Ellen had given her. Just keep going. Don't stop. Focus on what's coming. It just didn't seem realistic. She somewhat envied Laura for her faith. She'd never had anything like it. She'd never had anyone or anything to pray to. She wouldn't know how to if she did. What Katya did have left to believe in was so muddled and strange that she hardly knew what to do with it. The dream that the station alarm had woken her from was still fresh in her mind. The jarring wakeup call hadn't allowed her much time to process it but its memory had been with her all day. Even in the heat of combat she kept repeating the little boy's message to herself; Husker and Helo. She'd known the message was important from the first time it came to her months ago. Now she finally knew why. She just didn't know where to go from there. Laura had done this before. She'd seen things, felt things and made the move from internalizing them to putting them to use. Katya was sure that she was the person to go to. It helped that Laura had come to her nights ago wanting to unburden herself from her own nightmares. Katya sat with her that night, drank with her, commiserated with her. She knew that she'd been little help to Laura but she had listened and she knew that Laura would do the same for her at the very least. As soon as she'd walked into her room and found Laura in her rack she knew that she had to tell her. She knew before she ever laid down on the bed beside her. She almost felt like she'd trapped poor the women but if she was going to tell anyone what she knew, she was going to tell her mother first. Only Laura Roslin could truly understand.

"I know something, Laura," Katya announced, breaking the silence.

Laura glanced over at her.

"What do you mean?"

"At least I think I do," Katya continued. She lifted her head from the pillow and sat up on the bed waiting until Laura did the same and met her face to face. "I think I know something about why you're here."

Laura immediately felt a chill on her skin. It wasn't as if she hadn't been listening to Katya before but now every sense felt like it was tuned up.

"How? I mean what do you know?" She asked fervently.

Katya licked at her lips and shrugged.

"Well, not about you, specifically." Suddenly it wasn't coming out as easily as she thought that it would.

Laura narrowed her eyes and put a hand on the girl's knee.

"What do you think you know, Katya?" She prompted again.

Laura was sure that she looked way too eager. She wondered if her eyes were bordering on manic but she couldn't help herself.

"I had a dream last night after leaving the party at Senchi," Katya started.

As drunk as she had been she remembered every part of the night. She remembered the party and the visit to Sam Anders; their fighting, their kiss. She remembered going back to Alexi and walking home together. She remembered breaking down in front of him and then getting into bed. She remembered all of it well but even more vivid in her memory was what she dreamed of after she closed her eyes.

"Was it the same dream you that told me about before?" Laura offered. "The spinning cockpit? The signal?"

Katya shook her head.

"No not that but…I think the same message was coming through."

"Message?"

"Yes. That dream I told you about where I'm spinning in flight seems to have started this whole thing. But now this message comes through in so many of my dreams, my nightmares. It follows me…and last night I finally understood it."

Laura nodded urging her on but it felt like Katya was taking forever to get to the point.

"Katya, what message? If it's important then you shouldn't be keeping it to yourself. Not if it can help us."

"I'm not keeping it to myself. I'm telling you ," The young woman bit defensively.

Laura immediately gave her a look of apology. She had to calm herself down. Katya was getting to it. It obviously wasn't easy.

"You're right. I'm sorry. Go on."

Katya put her palms to her eyes and began to rub at them.

"You're not going to like it, Laura," She groaned.

"Katya, I haven't liked much of this so far. Whatever it is you can tell me. Just tell me. Please?"

Katya took her hands from her eyes and turned to see Laura's expectant expression.

"I don't know what good this will do…I don't know why or when…but I know that somehow the Admiral and Helo will fly down to surface of Earth."

When Katya finished she flinched as if she were in pain. It wasn't that Laura had any kind of noticeable reaction but she'd thought saying the words out loud would immediately make her feel better. It hadn't at all. She still felt the weight of them heavy on her back.

"Bill? Fly down to Earth?" Laura echoed.

Katya nodded.

"Yes, and Helo."

Laura paused for a moment and tried to absorb what she'd just been told.

"Katya, no one can get to the surface."

"No one but them," Katya firmly corrected.

Laura shook her head at a loss.

"I don't understand," She admitted.

Katya sighed and looked up at the ceiling over her rack.

"I never told you the whole truth about my dreams," She said giving Laura her eyes once again. "The spinning cockpit dream…any of them." Katya avoided bringing up the dreams and visions that included Sam. "They all have one thing in common. I keep hearing the same words, the same message; 'It's Husker and Helo'."

"Husker…" Laura repeated.

"Last night I finally understood why. It was…I dunno…spelled out to me a little better," Katya vaguely explained.

"How so?"

Katya bit her tongue. She recalled how simple the little flaxen haired boy had made it sound. She remembered his chubby little finger pointing to her bird, then to Blazer's telling her how Husker and Helo would fly their ships down to Earth. The boy was so clear in her mind but she wasn't ready to share him yet. His message was more pressing.

"It doesn't really matter. The point is I heard it again…It's Husker and Helo. Think about it, Laura. It is Husker and Helo."

"Katya, I don't…"

"Listen to me," Katya insisted with a burst of new energy. "Karl Agathon and Bill Adama are pure Colonial humans. Right?" She prompted waiting until the other woman nodded. "They are pure Colonials and they are the only pure colonials alive. I know that you don't want to hear it, Laura but you and I don't count. Your altered DNA… our altered DNA," She purposefully corrected, "takes us out of the running. It's why we both have been feeling the effects of the signal. It's why I can't fly down past the atmosphere barrier either but Bill and Helo, they've been unaffected. They are the only two living beings in Orbit who could make it down to Earth."

Laura's lips parted but at first nothing came out. She wasn't sure what to say.

"I'm just having some trouble processing this."

"It took me forever to figure it out too but think about it. Athena, Sam, D'Anna; they're all cylon and susceptible to the bot signal. Saul and Ellen too. Blaze is half cylon just like Lex. He couldn't fly anywhere near the line without feeling the effects," She explained further, "And the rest of our pilots? Well, the entire rest of our population would feel it too. That's how strong the emission is by the atmosphere. We confirmed that when I got Slip-Shot killed that day. This race is a chimera thanks to you all landing here. You know this, Laura. It's been explained to you. It's a race made up of native earthling, colonial and cylon and the bots understand that. This signal targets cylon DNA. I don't have a single pilot in my squad who could withstand flying through the strength of that atmosphere barrier unharmed because they are all in some way cylon…but I know two Colonial pilots who could do it."

Laura's mouth was agape.

"Husker and Helo," She breathily whispered as if it had just clicked.

Katya nodded emphatically.

"They have no cylon DNA. They could fly right through and never feel a thing."

Laura blinked hard and then shook her head.

"Why, Katya? For what purpose?"

"I don't know. I don't know why. But I think I know that they will," She explained.

Laura tilted her head and studied the girl's face for a moment.

"Katya, those men were pilots centuries and centuries ago. They flew different planes, they had different training. I don't think that they could just get into one of your ships and fly down there. Even being immune to the signal, with the surface occupation they wouldn't stand a chance."

As Laura watched Katya's face fall she didn't think she'd ever hated being the voice of reason quite so much.

"I could teach them," Katya said with a meek shrug.

"They have no reason to go," Laura pointed out. "No goal."

This wasn't going the way Katya wanted.

" Then we have to find one! " She said with an open fist to the mattress. It made Laura abruptly lean away, putting her back against the wall. Katya could see that she'd startled her but she didn't care. " We have to, Laura because that's what those men are here to do! That's their reason for being here. It's at least part of it. I promise you." Katya stopped and watched Laura sitting wide eyed on the rack. She'd put as much distance between them as she could without getting up. Katya hadn't meant to scare her but she couldn't stop the intensity of her words. She was suddenly overcome with a need to make sure that Laura believed her. "I know that you don't want Bill in danger…but it's the truth."

When Laura said nothing Katya felt her heart drop like a dead weight in her chest.

"Do you at least believe me?" She asked with hurt in her voice.

Laura stayed silent and Katya felt herself growing more anxious and upset by the second.

" You told me not to hide from what was happening to me. You told me that you learned long ago not ignore these things. Maybe I can't face all of it but I finally faced this part. You believe me, don't you? Out of everyone I thought that you would take me seriously. That's why I'm telling you!"

As she looked into Laura's startled eyes it was as if she was losing her grip on time and place again. She was suddenly lost. She was angry. She felt betrayed and hurt. The emotions were all familiar but in a blink her surroundings had changed. She was in a bedroom but it wasn't hers. She was staring into the eyes of the same frightened woman but there was something different about her. Laura looked, tired and worn down. Katya could hear herself yelling but she couldn't feel herself speaking.

"You had a vision. Remember? The Arrow, the Temple. I went down to that planet with you, and it was a frakkin' toaster party! A lot of good people died. Remember?"

"Yes I do," She heard Laura's trembling voice answer.

"I trusted you! On a vision. That's it. A vision. I saw Earth. I saw it with my own eyes. And it's calling me back. We're going the wrong way! Why can't you trust me?"

She felt the same desperate need to be believed, to have the woman in front of her think that she was worthy of being trusted. It all felt the same but it wasn't right.

She winced hard and when she heard the sound of a gun's safety clicking off she shook her head hard and opened her eyes.

Katya was back in her room sitting on the bed with Laura. She felt tears running down her cheeks. She hadn't even been aware that she'd started crying. Whatever she'd just seen and heard, Laura sat totally unaware.

" Please don't tell me that you think I'm crazy, Laura, " She pleaded with a sob. " I need you to believe me this time. "

Laura narrowed her eyes in total confusion. Katya had gone from eager to manic in the blink of an eye.

"This time? This time? Kat, what do you mean this time ?"

Laura’s eyes went wide when Katya reached out and grasped both of her wrists.

"I believed you when you asked me to! I helped you! But you? You couldn't help me. You wouldn't believe me. You wouldn't! Why? Why couldn't you trust me? "

"Katya, I don't understand. What are you…"

" Please …" Katya begged tightening her grip on the other woman's wrists.

Laura didn't know what to do. For a split second she thought of calling for Bill or Saul but her daughter was begging for her help. No one else's.

" Katya, stop it! " She suddenly barked back with a force.

In an instant Katya paused and then released her grip. It almost looked as though she'd been surprised to find herself holding on to Laura at all. She looked down at her hands and knitted her brow as if she were looking at something so foreign. She continued to cry letting her tears fall into her palms.

"I don't think you're crazy, Katya," Laura said, firmly trying to calm her. "Not at all. I believe you. Look at me, Kat,” She told her and waited for the young woman’s eyes to meet hers. “I believe you."

Katya leaned back slowly and put her hands carefully by her sides.

"You do?"

"Yes," Laura affirmed.

She watched Katya's cheeks fade from red with rage to pink with embarrassment.

"You're not just saying that so I won't be mad at you?" The girl tested.

Laura shook her head. She could see how important it was for Katya to know that she trusted her. She felt compelled to give her that reassurance.

"No. No, sweetheart. I'm not just saying it. I wouldn't do that. If you feel it's true then I believe you," She confirmed. "I do. I promise. You're right. I have been there. I know what it feels like to carry a truth that others can't see. I'm sorry if you feel like I doubted you. We just...we have to figure out where it fits in."

Katya exhaled and as her breath left her the weight on her back finally left too. It left along with a burning sense of anger and resentment that felt like it had always been with her. It felt so strange to be rid of it. When she inhaled again the cabin air felt lighter and cooler in her lungs. She sat quietly for a moment trying to adjust, trying to figure out how to look at the woman in front of her without the pull of an ancient bitterness that she hadn't even realized she’d been harboring deep inside.

"I…I don't know where this message fits in, Laura. I have nothing else. Nothing that would matter anyway. Husker and Helo. That's all I've got and it's taken me months to figure it out."

Laura nodded.

"Then it must truly be important," She said offering a small smile.

Katya's head dropped and she looked down at her lap.

"I'm sorry."

"It's alright. It's…alright. You're alright, Katya. We can solve this."

"I should have understood it so long ago. I've wasted so much time."

Laura reached out and lifted Katya's chin with her finger so that they were looking right at one another again.

"Katya, you understood it when it was meant to be understood."

"But how do I figure out how to use it?"

Laura placed her hands in her lap and sighed. She wished that she had an answer to give.

"I can't tell you that…but maybe the rest isn't yours to figure out."

Laura's visions hadn't been the only things that guided her people to Earth. Far from it. It took fate and chance. It took the visions and dreams of Caprica Six, Athena and even D'Anna. Laura even had to admit that Baltar's hand was intricately woven into how they survived their journey. So many people had a place in their pilgrimage. The burden had never been on her alone no matter how many times it felt that way.

"Kat, maybe you need to let it go now," She suggested. "Let someone else figure out the missing pieces."

Katya frowned.

"By someone else you're referring to yourself?"

Laura shrugged.

"I'm not sure. Maybe."

Katya nodded. With a sigh she lay back down on her side. Her exhaustion was settling back in again. She looked up at Laura as if she were expecting that she join her again.

With some hesitation Laura slid back down on to the mattress and faced her daughter. It took her a moment to realize that Katya had put a hand up asking for hers in return. The girl had done it once before, fascinated to examine the similarities in their anatomy. Laura raised her hand and the two pressed their palms together once again.

"Why would something so important be put into our hands?" Katya asked softly, as if she were truly expecting an explanation.

Laura's eyes watered and she shook her head.

"I died not knowing why I was given such a responsibility the last time. I can't answer that for you now."

"So now what? I don't know what to do."

"You've acknowledged this. Now we just keep going," Laura told her in as soothing a voice as she could manage. "It's all we can do. I know that it might seem hopeless now but I've seen hopelessness before and witnessed life triumph. I can't tell you if or when the feelings you have will become useful but I can tell you that I just have a feeling that things are going to start clicking into place. I trust your feeling, Kat. Do you think you can trust mine?"

Katya bit her lip for a moment and then nodded. When Laura gave her a small but genuine smile she was able to relax into the mattress a bit more.

As they rested there, palms together Katya looked over their hands once more. She would never get over the likeness, as simple as it was. It made sense. Laura was her mother. It was only genetics. It was just that, as much as they might share in theory, this was something that she could actually see. Katya slid her palm from the other woman's and instead ran her index finger over Laura's bare ring finger.

"You didn't get wedding bands," She noted, sounding a tad disappointed.

Laura gave a noiseless chuckle at the random observation.

"No, we didn't."

"I thought you liked mine," Katya pressed.

"I do," Laura sheepishly smiled. "Just seems a little silly I suppose. Bill and I never had a wedding."

Katya rolled her eyes and released Laura's finger.

"It's not a symbol of a wedding. It's a symbol of your love. I think the Old Man would like it."

Laura couldn't help the smile that grew on her face. She thought of Bill's confession; how he'd placed his ring on her finger when she died just as she'd seen in her vision. She had no intentions of acquiring bands now, especially with all that was going on but she thought it sweet that Katya seemed eager to see her birth parents sporting a set. Their daughter had Bill's affection for symbolism.

"I think you're right. He probably would."

Katya nodded and then let a heavy breath out before turning on her side and giving Laura her back.

"Uhh," She groaned. "Today was supposed to be a good day; a holiday, a celebration. It was miserable."

Laura winced as she looked at Katya's back. She wished that she could take away all of the burdens placed upon the young life before her.

"Kat, you should go tell Ellen that you're home safe," She said once more. "She can't be sleeping well no matter how much she drank."

Katya stayed put making no attempt to get up.

"I wanted to make Aunt Ellen happy today. I thought that I could but I can't. I can't even make myself happy," She grumbled into the pillow.

Laura scooted a little closer to Katya and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Ellen is happy just by having you with her."

Katya pressed her face deeper into the plush of the pillow as if she were trying to escape into its fluff.

"That's not what I mean…not really," She mumbled. "I had something important to tell her."

As soon as the alarms had sounded Katya knew that the plans she and Alexi made to tell Saul and Ellen had been ruined again. It was like fate was against them. They had lied, kept their secret from their family far longer than they should have and now they couldn't seem to share it no matter how much they tried.

"Katya, I know that it's hard for you to understand…but even with all Ellen has at her feet; all of her responsibility and work… you're all that really matters to her," Laura explained.

She knew that she shouldn't speak for the other woman but she was confident that it was true. She knew it because it was true for her as well.

"But I do understand," Katya answered. "I know just how much Ellen loves me."

Laura smirked and shook her head. What she was describing only a mother could comprehend.

"Katya, you couldn't possibly. I know that with all of your…abilities and how close the two of you are you think you can read Ellen's emotions and sense how she feels but you just couldn't grasp…"

"But I do," Katya countered in a sleepy voice. Her hand went to the chain around her neck; the gift Ellen and Saul had given her months ago. She lazily played with the little silvery A pendant. She hadn't taken it off since she received it. "I didn't used to, but I understand now."

Laura smiled and relented.

Katya sounded so tired. Laura just wanted to let her rest for a while. As she lay there with her child next to her Bill's advice from the night before rang in her ears. She loved the girl beside her. She loved her more than she ever thought she could love another person. She loved her even at times when she didn't particularly like her. She'd told Bill that she didn't think that Katya was ready to hear it but the truth was that she wasn't ready to say it. His notion that Katya had probably been waiting to hear it her entire life cut Laura deeply. Even so she couldn't bring herself to do it. She felt weak and ashamed. She had to give Katya something, offer her something if she couldn't yet give her that.

"Kat?" Laura started, testing to see if she was awake.

"Hm?" Came a low response.

Laura faltered for a moment before continuing.

"I know that this might sound out of place coming from me...I understand if you feel like it's presumptuous for me to say or...or even feel," She rambled.

"What?" Katya cut her off sounding a little less groggy. "Just say it."

"I just want to say that I um, I'm very proud of you."

Katya paused and her eyes opened. She stayed put, keeping her back to Laura.

"Proud of me," She echoed flatly. "For what?"

Laura licked her lips before she spoke. She hated herself for not having an answer ready.

"For so many things."

Katya frowned.

"Laura. you don't even like me," She only half teased.

"Well sure, not all the time," Laura poked back with a soft laugh. "But I like lots of things about you."

"Like what?" Katya tested.

"Well, most of the things I like are parts of you that I admire; your bravery and your dedication for example. The love that you have for your husband and your family," Laura paused as more and more came to mind and she realized just how proud of Katya she truly was. "I watched you go out there today and face a terrifying enemy head on and you were determined to do it no matter what anyone had to say. I hated the thought of you being in danger but I admired your valiance," She said with simple honestly. She swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat and she was grateful to be facing Katya's back when tears started to prick at her eyes. "Maybe I shouldn't presume the right to be proud of you. Lords know that I can't take any of the credit for the women you've grown into but…I wish that I could. Does that make sense?" She waited until she saw Katya nod quietly. Suddenly she couldn't stop herself.

"Katya, there's so very much that I wish I could have done for you, so much I wish I could have given you and I've given you nothing ." She managed to get out the last word before her tears finally spilled. Her own honesty had caught her off guard. Perhaps it was the truth that needed to come out now; how much she mourned what she'd missed, how much it hurt to know that she'd contributed almost nothing to her child's existence. How sorry she was for it. Even the girl's life wasn't her choice to give. "I wish it were different," She whispered.

Katya was silent and motionless beside her for a moment. She could hear that Laura was crying and she could feel that she was hurting. Katya shared her mother's grief over lost time but not all of her sentiments rang true. She just didn't see it that way. Laura had given her far more than she knew. Katya bit at her lip, considering how she could make her mother understand with a singular example.

"When I was very young, before the Tighs moved off of the basestar and on to Alpha, I was sad a lot of the time." She stopped for a moment, pausing to choose her words. "I loved my father but my life with him was strange. I remember being lonely a lot of the time even when I was surrounded by people. This war was going on even then. I was afraid. When I was alone at night in my room without the distractions of school or dance…there was really only one thing that kept me from being completely miserable and crying myself to sleep…It was you," Katya recalled. "You were just a body floating in a tank. I remember how young you looked then. They hadn't aged your body in stasis since the year you gave birth to me. That process didn't happen until after the Tighs came. Now thinking back to it you looked like a teenager," She mused. "But back then you were all I knew of a mother. You were just an idea; an image that I would visit in the lab and take away to my dreams and fantasies. My father assured me that one day soon you would wake up. He said that not only would I have a mother then, but that you would help save all of us and end the war. I believed him. I waited and waited. I went to bed every night wishing that I would wake up and find that you were finally truly here. I was too young to understand why you might be horrified by my very existence. I just thought that I would have a mom and my life would be fixed. It wasn't that I didn't want Bill too. It was just…I had a father. I wanted a mother so badly." Katya stopped for a moment when she heard Laura choking back a sob behind her. She forced herself to go on knowing that if she stopped now she would never finish. "After Isakoff was killed and the Tighs adopted me everything changed. Even though I had lost my father I was eventually happier. I finally felt like I knew what it was like to have a mom. Ellen gave that to me…I love her so much for that….but I never forgot about the times when the thought of you was all that got me to sleep at night. You were my comfort and hope back then. Even after…I never stopped hoping. That's something you gave me. Hope. If you really believe you've given me nothing, just know you gave me that long before you ever resurrected," She said with finality.

Katya closed her eyes and nuzzled her head back into the pillow hoping that Laura would take some reassurance from her honesty. It was all that she could offer her.

Laura couldn't help it as her breath trembled. Bill was right. She had lived a life never really wanting a child until the day she was confronted by one but her child had never lived a day without wanting her.

"You waited and hoped for so long," The words managed to squeak past Laura's throat. "And now I've disappointed you."

Katya let out a long breath and shook her head.

"I didn't know what I was hoping for," She answered.

Laura gently placed her hand at the girl's back. She could feel her breathing starting to slow and even out. She knew that if Katya wasn't already sleeping she would be soon. She was so tempted to let her daughter drift off by her side. She wanted to savor the feeling for as long as she could. She wanted to imagine it somehow made up for a fraction of the times she'd missed putting her child to bed. She wanted to let her rest a while more until Alexi came to get her. She wanted to let herself lie beside daughter, take her into her arms and pretended that everything was okay for just a bit. She couldn't do it. She knew it was awful but she couldn't let herself have the moment. She still feared it far too much. She'd always known that she feared Katya's rejection, but now she was quickly and gravely realizing that it had been her acceptance that she feared far more. Laura understood that she'd failed her child again. A few rooms away there was someone who she knew could give Katya the maternal affection that she deserved without fear or hesitation. Laura wiped at her tears. With shaking fingers she lightly brushed a few loose strands of hair over the girl's temple and leaned in to whisper behind her ear.

"I know that you want to sleep, sweetheart, but you really should let your mother know that you're home. I know she'll sleep better through the rest of the night knowing that you're okay."

Katya opened her heavy eyes. Laura was right. She'd been lying there long enough. She needed to let Ellen know that she was home. She leaned up on her elbows with a yawn and faced the woman beside her.

"Will you sleep better now?" She asked.

Laura forced the rest of her tears to stay away and she gave the girl a smile.

"Much better."

Katya gave a sleepy grin in return and worked her way off of the bed.

"I'll wake Bill and we'll see ourselves out," Laura offered.

"Wait for Alexi to get here," Katya suggested as she got to the doorframe. "He can escort you home."

Laura smiled again and shook her head.

"That's alright. We have Vladi."

Katya smirked and nodded before turning and leaving the room.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 126B: ASSIGNMENT; ROSLIN/ADAMA

YEAR: 2316

Laura hardly had the energy to get ready for bed. She was drained but though her body was tired her mind was still racing.

"Are you feeling okay, Laura?" Bill watched her from where he lay in bed. She nodded but he was unconvinced when he saw her eyes water.

"She's alright. She came home," He tried to assure her, assuming that it was the stress of Katya's involvement in the day's attack that was getting to her.

Laura shook her head dismissing his consolation.

"I couldn't do it, Bill," She said stepping closer to the rack.

"Do what?"

"She could have been killed today. I wanted to tell her that I loved her so badly and I just couldn't. She doesn't deserve that," She continued with halting breaths. "A mother who can't even say ‘I love you’?"

"It'll come when you're ready, Laura," He promised.

She knew that Bill was referring to their own experience but she was unconvinced. This was her child. Shouldn't it be easier? Shouldn't it be a natural expression?

"How can I feel it so deeply and not be able to say it?" She asked him in a desperate whisper.

"You can. You will. When you stop being so afraid that it will be taken away. No one and nothing can take that love away from you now," He told her. It had always been her issue after all. "That love will be with you always."

Laura nodded and got into the bed by his side. She hadn't shared Katya's foretelling message of Husker and Helo with him on the way home. She hadn't shared much that went on between them at all but it was all fresh and raw in her mind and it churned within her thoughts along with everything else.

After a short but soothing back rub from Bill, Laura's body won out. She fell into a deep sleep; a sleep that proved to be little refuge from the chaos of wakefulness.

Though the dream space was far from comforting it was at least familiar by now. Once again Laura found herself in the dark room full of resurrection tubs. The floor with the same slick black sheen, the crystal pillars still standing tall circling the site. Past the pillars she still found nothing but a dark and unsure haze. This time she sat on the edge of her own tub. She was dressed for once and free of the slick goo that she usually found coating her body. Her heart sunk when she looked to Bill's tub only to see that he was missing. The tub was empty. Laura stood and let her eyes wander, further exploring the now typical expanse of the area. She found Saul and Ellen to her right; slumbering unaware within their own tubs. This time behind her she found the boys; Alexi and Blaze doing the same. Caprica Six and Baltar never appeared. The boys were already there in their places. It was when she turned to her left that she noticed another empty vat. Helo was absent; his tub as empty as Bill's was. Husker and Helo were gone. Sharon lay sleeping in her own cylon bath without her husband nearby. Laura felt her throat tighten. She steadied herself and stood, deciding to take inventory. The air was oppressive but though she was afraid of her surroundings she willed herself to go forward. For the first time free of cylon slime she didn't need to struggle to stand or walk around the room. Soon she found that Sam was present, sleeping as deeply as all the rest. To his side though, was yet another empty vessel. D'Anna was missing too and as Laura looked across the room she found their daughter Margot was gone as well. She shut her eyes tight trying to do a quick recount when she was distracted by the sound of a splatter. It took her a moment to focus on where the noise had come from but soon she zeroed in on its source. Sharon's arm, slick with resurrection slop now hung limply out of her tub. It dripped sticky fluid onto the shiny black floor but as Laura moved forward she noticed that the cylon goo was not all that fell from the woman's arm. The sight made Laura freeze in shock and she felt the blood drain out of her face. There was a thick cable protruding from Sharon's palm, feeding up into her forearm. Its length traveled from her flesh and fed on to the floor where it coiled into a blood tinged puddle and snaked around the room until Laura lost track of its ending. She looked back to the wound in Sharon's skin and suddenly remembered how she'd seen the woman anxiously rubbing and pawing at the spot in question at the Tigh's cabin. Laura even recalled Blaze asking about it in the hurried moments before he'd reported to duty. Her hand shook as she hesitantly reached out to run her fingers over the bulge the cord made on Sharon's arm. When she touched the tacky cold skin of the sleeping cylon she paused in thought. This had happened before. The memory came to her in a flash. Sharon was their prisoner back on Galactica. They were under attack by a cylon virus that was threatening the entire fleet. Raiders were zeroing in on them. Laura could still remember Bill's recounting of the day as he sat by her bedside on Colonial one. Sharon had been brought to the CIC in shackles and released on Bill's orders. She'd asked for Dualla's pocket knife. She took it and made two cuts; first into a Galactica network cable, then into her own hand. Sharon then fed the live wire into the flesh of her open palm and up into her arm sending out her own virus and stopping the incoming cylon attack. She'd saved the fleet. Laura remembered later that night when she asked Bill how he was ever able to trust their prisoner. He told her how he'd counted on the fact that he had something in common with Sharon even then; they both wanted to live. Laura's memory was interrupted as she heard another splatter. She looked up to see Sam's arm now hanging over his tub with an identical cord distending from it. Another small splash came and then another after that. Alexi and Blaze both now hung their arms out over the edge of their vats, each linked to a cable. When two more sloshes sounded Laura was almost sure what she would find. She moved a few steps closer to get a better view and found both Saul and Ellen in the very same state. She cringed at the site. Everyone present had a cord coming out of their limp palms and dangling onto the floor. The cables all wrapped and coiled around the room making a tangled knot that Laura couldn't possibly follow. As she tried to make sense of the scene she heard an ominous rumble. It was a sound that she now associated with Alpha's cannons being extended. She should have been expecting it. The nightmare always seemed to end up this way. The grumbling vibrated under her feet and up through her body. The rolling noise was followed by the peppered sounds of gunshots in the distance. The floor shook with more force. This was always the part where Laura panicked and this time was no different. Her fear rose when the sounds of gunfire grew near and the floor trembled with more intensity beneath her. She let out a yelp when she heard the first sounds of the crystal pillars starting to crack with the tension of the trembling foundation. Out of habit or instinct she looked toward Bill's tub. Usually he was there, still sleeping and unaware. She always struggled so hard to get to him. This time he was gone. His container was empty. Laura looked around. There was no place else to go. Every direction beyond the pillars led into black abyss. In her panic she headed for Bill's tub. She told herself that she would wait there for him. He would be back. She would wait for him just as he had waited for her in his lonely raptor eons ago with only hope, some books and their love to cling to. She would get in his tub and wait for him to arrive. Her rational mind was gone. All she could think of was sinking into the fluid and awaiting Bill's return. Stepping over slick puddles and wound cables Laura made her way to the tub. She flinched when she heard the nearest pillar starting to crackle and splinter. This was always how it ended and yet she couldn't stop herself. She could feel the tower starting to waver and crumble and even so she tried her best to get inside the confines of the tub. As the structure finally started to tumble she felt herself being shoved out of its way by a powerful unseen force. She never felt herself hit the floor. She only felt herself screaming.

Bill shot up in bed, startled by the strangled cries beside him.

"Laura! Gods!" He shouted as he reached for the light. He found her sitting up in their rack panting, sweating and looking terribly frightened. "What's wrong?!"

Laura could hardly catch her breath to speak. She felt cold perspiration beading on her neck and chest. She reached for Bill's wrist gripping onto it for dear life as she struggled to speak.

"I know now, Bill! " She said with a gulp. " I know what we have to do! "


 

Translations

 

E-FED

"Ya tebya lyublyu" - I love you.

"LechU k tebE na krYlyah lyubvI" - I fly to you on wings of love.

Dah- Yes.

Nyet- No

S' Novim godom- Happy New Year

"Prosti, zayka. Ya ne khotel tebya obidet" - I'm sorry, bunny. I didnt mean to hurt you.

YA uzhe prostil tebya- I already forgave you.

Prviyet- Hello

Sestra/ Sestrichka - Sister/ Little sister.

Chto delayesh'? - What are you doing?

zvezda- little star

rybka- little fish

 

Chapter 31: Chapter 31

Notes:

ONLY ONE MORE CHAPTER AND THE PROLOGUE TO GO! WEEE!

To anyone who still checks this fic for updates please let me start off by apologizing for the hiatus. I recently realized that its last update was July, 19, 2016. My son was born 10 days later and he is now 9 months old. I feel terrible for letting so much time go without any word on it. Real life didn't just get in the way, it tripped me and made me fall flat on my butt. The e-mails and messages that I have received asking about the future of this fic have truly been my motivation to go on. With the number of people asking if Alpha was abandoned I realized I couldn't wait until it was totally completed to post the rest of it as I had last promised. The ending is far too long. If I wait until its ready to be posted in its entirety it might never happen. So my second apology is that this is not the ended as promised. Its about 1/3 of the ending. I'm posting it to let people know that the fic is not abandoned and that I do plan to complete it when I can. The ending is mostly written but with a fussy baby around all the time it is VERY hard to do extra things like hobbies and so time to proof and edit goes at a snail's pace. I never expected I would have a little one to take care of and I have to say I underestimated what moms go through on a daily basis. Yikes. My last apology is for the quality of this chapter. As stated before life is a mess with a baby. He's adorable but he may be trying to kill me. On little to no sleep I am sure there are far more typos and errors than usual. With a fic this size they always happen but I'm sure with my current state its worse now. I will go back and edit this one day (one far off day) the way it deserves. Forgive me for that. There is A LOT of information in this chapter. Due to the time and space between chapters I'm not sure if readers can recall the plot details. This chapter might be confusing if you feel you've forgotten the plot of the story. To anyone who is glad to read what I have put out I am happy to have you back. I am proud of the ending which I hope I can post soon. I think you will enjoy it too if you can wait just a little longer for me.

Side note: Due to the large gap I will answer questions if inboxed about plot or at least direct you to the previous chapter and section where you can find your answers. No spoilers.

Question: Would anyone be interested in reading the OC character bios? I can post them between this and last chapter to occupy some time and make up for the wait. I don't think things like that are allowed to be posted as chapters so I would also add a small side scene or some dialog to go with the story.

All dialog directly taken from BSG 2003 is not mine and used in this story for effect, all rights given to RDM and NBCU. Full disclaimer in chapter 1.

Thank you
and

Good Hunting.

Chapter Text

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 161B: ASSIGNMENT; AGATHON

YEAR: 2316

At first Helo thought he was dreaming. The quiet whimpers mixed within his slumbering thoughts until he was finally able to rouse himself enough to realize that they were real. His wife's body trembled beside him in their bed. Sharon had her back to him. He couldn't see her face but now that he was fully awake he was sure that she was crying.

"Sharon?" He said, placing his hand on her back.

She didn't answer but let out a few more muffled sobs.

"Sharon, answer me. What's wrong?"

Sharon swallowed hard.

"It's my arm, Helo," She finally confessed through her tears.

She was curled on her side rubbing at the searing phantom pain that still ran from her palm, through her wrist and up her forearm. It was worse than ever.

She'd told him that it was better but she couldn't hide it any longer.

"Your arm? Again ?"

"It never stopped," She admitted.

She had been in severe pain for hours. During the attack as they sat waiting at the Tigh's cabin her arm had throbbed and throbbed. As the ache increased so did the ominous feeling that accompanied it. Even finding out that Blaze had made it back to Alpha safe and sound hadn't calmed Sharon's nerves. She and Helo had retired to their quarters after Saul and Ellen dismissed them. After contacting their son and hearing that he was well they went straight to bed but Sharon had yet to sleep a wink.

"I lied to you, Helo. The doctors said that they can't do anything," She sobbed. "I didn't want you to worry but now it's worse. I can't even sleep. It's killing me and it won't go away."

Helo quickly sat up in the bed.

"Sharon! Why didn't you tell me!? I'm taking you back to the clinic. They have to be able to do something for you. You can't just live like this. This is crazy!"

Sharon didn't rise to face him.

"'They can’t ," She insisted as she thumbed at her forearm and tucked her legs tightly to her chest.

"They can't find the cause and so they can't find a cure. There isn't anything they can do. I just feel like…I feel like…"

Helo put his hand to her back.

"What? Tell me, Sharon."

Her throat tightened but she fought through it.

"I feel like it's haunting me, Helo."

Helo's brow creased.

"Sharon," He started but he was interrupted by the sudden buzzing of his station cuff. He swiped at it until it illuminated with an incoming message. " Frak ," He swore.

"What? What's wrong."

"It's Colonel Tigh. He wants us in is quarters ASAP. Godsdamn it. I want to take you to Med Ward."

"I told you, Karl! There's nothing! It is nothing! They can't do anything for me. Their last suggestion was some holistic healer on the other side of station. Xao's sister or something. I'm not going there!"

"Fine. Maybe they can't help. Frak them. Frak Xao and his daughter and their staff. Maybe they don't know what the hell they're talking about. They've only seen a handful of true flesh and blood cylons in their lives," Helo reasoned. "Look, Tigh wants us down there ASAP. Maybe Ellen can help you. She's gotta know more about the way cylon bodies work than anyone."

"I dunno, Helo."

His cuff buzzed again. It was another urgent message from the Colonel.

"We need to get down there anyway. C'mon, Sharon."

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 208B: ASSIGNMENT; T. XAO

YEAR: 2316

After returning to his cabin with his security detail Sam couldn't sleep. He'd snoozed away the day at the Tigh's just trying to block everything out. When he'd gotten to his quarters he wasn't tired in the least. He found himself feeling a little stir-crazy. His thoughts went to Tawny and the night they had spent together bringing in the New Year. He didn't regret it. There had been a moment of guilt, as though he was being unfaithful to Kara but it didn't last. He focused totally on the woman in his arms and surprisingly she was enough.

Looking at Katya sent Sam into internal turmoil but Tawny's eyes were calming and comfortable. She had told him that they could use each other. She'd put herself in front of him like a business proposal. She had tried to paint it as a no strings attached involvement but Sam knew that wasn't the case. Not for him at least. Months ago he had woken up to a strange world. His resurrection had left him feeling alone and out of control most of the time. He'd been consumed with seeking out some bizarre form of his wife that existed there, only to finally find that it just wasn't quite right and never would be. Though Sam knew that he didn't truly belong in the peculiar world, Tawny's side had felt like home since the day he’d met her in his cell on Delta Station. Besides Ellen, Tawny was his only friend in his new life. He was starting to crave her company, especially during times when he managed to pry his mind off of Katya. It was becoming easier for him. Their New Year's interaction had been his turning point. It had vindicated him. He'd been right all along but in the end it didn't matter. Kara was there but in this life she was someone else; someone who wasn't meant for him. Sam wasn't sure what he was looking for anymore. He wasn't sure of anything really but he knew that he liked being with Tawny Xao and he was almost positive that the feeling was mutual.

When it became apparent to Sam that he wouldn't fall to sleep in his cabin he considered starting some trouble with his guards. He quickly decided against it. The satisfaction in that particular pastime had been somewhat diminished thanks to Tawny's positive influence. He didn't want to upset or disappoint her. He didn't want her father to think badly of him. He also didn't want to give either of the Xaos more work in the clinic than they already had.

Sam looked at the time on his cuff. He knew that Tawny would be in the infirmary. There were bound to be injured pilots coming in from the air strike against the Omega pod. He decided that he couldn't go down there and bother her. Instead he'd sent her a message; an ineloquent hello. He was surprised when she replied with instructions for him to meet her in her quarters in one hour.

Under the official guise of a private follow-up for his recently laser-mended ribs, Tawny arranged for Sam's guards to bring him to her cabin. No one made any mention of the odd hour, though if they had she would have ignored them. When she finally got off duty Sam was already inside waiting for her. She'd sent another message inviting him to make himself comfortable but when she entered she found him standing in her living room. His back look rigid and he seemed anything but comfortable. Tawny was immediately disappointed. He was gawking at a photo that she had projected on the wall.

"Anders."

Sam ignored her greeting, his eyes fixed on the illuminated image.

Tawny grimaced to herself as she kicked off her shoes. The photo that had his attention was one she'd taken with Katya and Margot. She could only assume who he was fixating on; his ever-present obsession. She sighed to herself and cleared her throat before she spoke again.

"That was taken last year," She offered reluctantly. "The night before her wedding ," She noted hoping to both get his attention and remind him of present circumstance.

Sam shook his head dismissing her comment.

"No…It's just…"

"What?" She asked as she moved closer to him and glanced up at the picture.

"She's a cute kid…Margot," He said and swallowed. "Tall, pretty…"

"Oh," Tawny softly replied.

Maybe he hadn't been gazing at the enigma of Katya Isakoff after all, she thought with a smirk. She was somewhat relieved but then again Margot was a topic of which they hardly ever spoke of. She was surprised to hear him even mention the girl's name. Tawny had hoped that Sam's late night visit would allow her to decompress and let go of some pent up frustrations. She knew that getting into the subject of his genetic offspring would be anything but relaxing.

"Well, she is yours," Tawny teased. "I know she looks a lot like D'Anna but some of that's from you, I'm sure."

Anders continued to stare at the image, his face unchanging. They both stood quietly for a moment longer.

"How did they do it?" He said breaking the silence.

"Who? Do what?" Tawny frowned.

Any hope she had of Sam letting the topic go was lost.

Sam stared at the image of his daughter with narrow eyes.

"I know how they brought us back…"He paused. "I know they cloned us from DNA the Tighs got on Galactica before I drove it into the frakking sun. Ellen told me the whole story but…when she got to the part about the kids…when she got to Margot…I stopped listening. I told her I didn't want to hear about it," Sam confessed with a shrug. "I know that she's mine...biologically. I get that. I know she's mine and D'Anna's the same way Kara is Roslin and Adama's."

Tawny flinched but she didn't correct the name slip, this time deciding to let him go on uninterrupted.

"I mean, I used to be a biological engineer," He reminded her. "I know it was lifetimes ago but I'm not just an idiot jock. I was a scientist back on my Earth so I can surmise what they did. Parts of it, at least, but…but not all of it. It's strange having a child without knowing how she got here."

Tawny nodded sympathetically.

"Well, it was pretty much cut and dry. Your contribution was collected by Dr. Le Blanc," She explained.

"Nice way of putting it," Sam remarked with a grimace.

"You just called yourself a scientist," Tawny challenged. "Can I talk to you like one or not?"

Sam let out a low groan and nodded.

"You were put back in stasis after Le Blanc collected your semen," Tawny continued as she folded her hands in front of her. "Mind you, I was about five years old when this all occurred so everything I know came from studying the project years later. That and the little memory I have of Katya's gestation and birth here on Alpha. Delta Station ran their part of the project the same way…well…generally," She added.

"What do you mean, generally ?"

Tawny crossed her arms and considered her answer.

"Each station's lead project doctor had the same general plan but there was a little leeway in how they went about it within their own labs. Roslin, Caprica, Sharon and D'Anna all underwent an ovum harvest. The embryos were conceived externally under a microscope and then implanted back into each of the women's bodies."

Sam grimaced at the thought.

"They couldn't grow them like us? In tanks like clones?" He asked.

"No. It doesn't work like that. Our science isn't there yet."

Sam nodded.

"So D'Anna carried her?"

"Yes," Tawny confirmed. "All of the resurrected women carried their own children…up to a point."

"What do you mean up to a point?" He scowled.

"Well…" Tawny paused as she tried to decide how to best explain."All of these women were out of stasis and on life support during their pregnancies. The doctors didn't want any of them going full term. Their bodies were still our most precious assets. Their children's usefulness was just a theory. Government officials and the project doctors thought that they should have a backup plan incase Ellen failed to resurrect the so called ancient leaders. It was hypothesized that perhaps the combined DNA of the vacant bodies could produce readily conscious offspring who could fulfill the prophecy without waiting on Ellen's means of resurrection. The government was worried that she was taking too long to perfect the process. The theory was that maybe the children could take the place of their parents. They knew it could fail so they weren't about to risk any of the women's health on it. Good thing because it turned out to be a bunk theory after all."

Sam cringed at the desperately stupid plan that had resulted in his daughter's existence.

"It was supposed to be Kara who was cloned on Delta. Wasn't it?" He asked.

"Yes but something was wrong with her DNA sample. D'Anna's DNA was chosen by the Colonel to use in Kara's place."

"So if it had worked as planned and Kara was cloned then we would have child.”

Tawny glared at him as some resentment rose within her gut on Margot's behalf.

"I suppose you would have at least spoken to that child, huh?"

Sam sighed. He had no defense.

"So what did they do?" He pushed, bypassing her accusation. "D'Anna was essentially brain dead. How did she deliver a baby?"

Tawny took a deep breath and crossed her arms as she tried to let the tension pass.

"It actually wasn't as difficult as you might think," She said with a shrug. "Babies here in Orbit don't generally need to be carried to term. We have a wonderful and widely used alternative. As long as a fetus can make it through the first trimester we can induce delivery and then allow it to develop to full term in sort of an artificial womb," The doctor explained causing Sam's brow to rise with curiosity. "It's a little tank meant to replicate natural amniotic conditions. It looks kind of like a small version of the stasis chamber that your body was in. Anyway, in this particular case with the four women on life support the longer the pregnancies went on the more difficult and invasive their deliveries could have become. The doctors didn't want to subject them to major life threatening surgery. Remember they were still the priority, not their unborn theoretical replacements. The doctors chose to rely on artificial induction of labor and neuro-musculature conduction to safely deliver all four babies, and then have them develop to term outside of their mother's bodies. The doctors thought this would cause the least risk. It's just…well Michelle Le Blanc can be a little…cold at times. At least in my opinion."

"What did Le Blanc do that was so cold, as you put it? What was different about Margot?"

Tawny sighed before she spoke.

"Nothing really. I guess the way Le Blanc handled it has just always bothered me since I first studied the project records. We have guidelines for this type of birth processes. It's really successful and the general population uses this method all the time. Some do it for convenience, others for health reasons." Tawny stopped and bit her lip. She hesitated to use her friend as an example. Anders could be so intuitive but she decided to go on anyway for the sake of explanation, making sure to keep things vague. "I um…I actually have a military patient of my own right now who has twins in an amniotic chamber. It's all the way on the civilian side of the station. We have Alpha's gestational nursery there. It's a lab located in the women's ward of the civvy medical center. We call it The Estuary. I helped deliver them at fifteen weeks gestation," She said with pride.

"Really?" Anders remarked with a curious smirk.

He'd seen Tawny in Med Ward mending cuts and bruises, sewing people up, even wielding a robotic laser in the surgical bay to save lives but he never pictured her delivering a baby. It was sort of nice to know that she had some light in her all consuming career which sometimes seemed dominated by pain and suffering.

Tawny nodded with a proud little smile.

"I helped deliver them just about two months ago. Going into that gestational chamber saved their lives. I couldn't prolong the mother's pregnancy any further. It wasn't going well. They were healthy but their mother's womb was no longer hospitable. She would have eventually miscarried but the chamber gave them an alternative. Like I said, it's a common practice but we have to stick to the guidelines. Those guidelines say that twelve weeks is the absolute minimum for delivery and transfer into the gestation chambers. That's only the minimum. Ideally we like babies to stay within their mother's womb as long as possible. For one thing the bigger and stronger they are at the time of delivery and transfer the better their chances of survival, but it's not only that. As convenient as they are, gestational chambers isolate babies. The process takes away important aspects of bonding and sensory exposure. The longer babies stay in the womb the more maternal bonding occurs. There they continue to hear voices and sounds that stimulate the developing brain and emotive responses. It just always irked me that Le Blanc induced D'Anna's body the day she hit the twelve week mark. There was no reason to take Margot so soon. Caprica went to sixteen weeks with Alexi, Sharon twenty with Blaze, I think, and I know for sure that Roslin delivered Kat when she was twenty-six weeks along." Tawny paused and let out a long sigh. "I know that those women's bodies were vacant. They couldn't talk or sing to their babies…but their children knew their heartbeats and the warmth and safety of their bodies. I don't know…it always seemed a little sad and cruel that Margot was taken from D'Anna and put into that gestational chamber so quickly…I'm not sure why…Maybe because…"

"Because she was alone," Sam finished for her with a pained expression on his face.

Tawny flinched at the words.

"Yeah. I guess that's it," She said with a regretful shrug.

"She started out life all alone," Sam repeated in a dismal tone.

His expression was hard to read but his voice sounded almost mournful.

"You know, Anders, Margot is my friend. I could talk to her for you and maybe…"

Suddenly he shook his head. He backed away from the image of his daughter and started to vigorously rub at his eyes.

"No," He insisted. "No, that's okay… Sorry. I was just…curious."

Tawny knew better than to push it.

"Well now you know," She shrugged.

Sam nodded.

"I know this makes me look like a jerk. I guess I am."

Tawny felt badly for Margot but she didn't believe that.

"It's a lot to ask of someone, Anders. You weren't given a choice. Her life was created without your knowledge or consent…your body was used. I'm not judging your reaction to her existence. I'm sorry if it came off that way. I guess I'm just a little sensitive to my friend's feelings. Look, no one can tell you how to respond to this. It's an unfortunate situation. You have every right to be angry and confused. All I ask is that you remember one thing; Margot didn't ask for it either but she exists nonetheless."

Sam looked to his feet and then back up at Tawny.

"What kind of life is that? To be born as an experiment and know that you failed? To wonder what your life is even for if not that?"

Tawny dropped her arms to her side.

"It's something that Margot and the others live with every day. My hope for the four of them is that they each find their own purpose."

Sam nodded and Tawny gave him a sympathetic smile.

"Anders, it's been a long day. I'd very much like the company if you want to get a good night's sleep?"

Sam bit at his bottom lip as Tawny walked passed him and temptingly sauntered into her bedroom.

With a sigh he turned away from the image of his daughter and followed her.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 119B: ASSIGNMENT; TIGH

YEAR: 2316

"Laura, just calm down," Ellen said in as soothing a voice as she could manage. "We're listening. I promise. We just don't understand."

Ellen cupped one of Laura's trembling hands between her palms but it did nothing to comfort the other women.

Laura's eyes were wide. She was erratic and nervous. She and Bill had shown up at the Tigh's hatch in the middle of the night.

Saul and Ellen had drunk heavily during the day. They both slept right through the hurried messages that Bill sent warning of the impending visit. They hadn't even heard the incessant knocking upon the couple's arrival. Eventually Laura had to make Vladi bang his clunky metal hand against the door just to make a loud enough noise to wake the Tighs from their deep drunken slumber. She didn't care how tired or hung-over Saul and Ellen were. She had to speak to them.

"She woke up like this," Bill said at a loss.

The time between when Laura woke up and when they actually got to the Tigh's hatch was mostly a blur to him. He had little to no explanation for her current state. He was just as confused as his friends.

"Saul, get her a frakking drink, will you?" Ellen attempted.

Laura shot up from her seat at the kitchen table and hit her palms on its surface.

" I don't want a godsdamned drink!"

She had burst into the Thigh's cabin as soon as Saul had cracked the hatch open. She started frantically and emphatically stating that she knew something important, that they needed to get to work and that she would need Katya and Sharon to help explain. It was all that she would say, even to Bill. Now they were all on edge as they sat around the kitchen table waiting for the others.

Laura's eyes looked wild. Bill was halfway convinced that she was still in some kind of daze from her dream.

"Look will you please get Katya down here?" Laura begged again. "She can help me explain everything."

"Katya knows about this?" Ellen asked with an arched brow.

Laura huffed in frustration and ran her hand through her tousled hair.

"No. Not exactly," She corrected, further confusing her already bewildered audience. "Well, she knows about my dreams and I…I know about hers. It's been happening for months but now it all finally makes sense."

Ellen's patience was fading. Nothing Laura was saying made sense.

" Months ?" She said crossing her arms. "What dreams? So you two just share your dreams now on a regular basis?" She pressed with some accusation in her voice.

"Ellen," Laura cautioned.

"Sorry," Ellen muttered, earnestly doing her best to stomp down her jealousy. "We called Kat. I'm sure she's on her way. Just try and relax, Laura. You're too wound up. You're making me frakking nervous."

"Katya can help me explain all of this," Laura repeated. "And Sharon! What about Sharon? I told you to call her too."

Saul looked down at his wrist to check his cuff for a reply.

"No answer from the Agathons yet. I'll get their guards to wake them if I don't hear back in the next few minutes."

Laura rolled her eyes at his casual answer. She felt such a sense of urgency as if everything that she knew might fade away if she didn't get it all out quickly enough. It had taken her so long to figure things out. If this was her reason for being resurrected then she wanted to fulfill her purpose as soon as possible.

Ellen cleared her throat regaining Laura's attention.

"Laura, if Kat knew anything I really think she would have told me," She insisted but the truth was that she wasn't so sure of her statement.

Laura almost felt sorry for her. She knew that Katya usually told Ellen everything. She was sure that their shared secret dreams would probably leave Ellen feeling left in the dark by her own daughter.

"She only just figured things out, Ellen," Laura tried to justify.

"I still think she would have…"

Ellen's words were cut off when Alexi and Katya came shuffling through the cabin hatch.

"Are we going to get a full night's sleep ever again?" Alexi grumbled.

"Probably not," Saul answered caustically.

It was in jest but something in the Colonel's voice made Alexi feel like he wasn't altogether joking.

Alexi went right for the couch. He slumped his large tired form onto the sofa, still half asleep. Katya, however, was wide awake.

She stayed by the cabin door suspiciously surveying her surroundings. Something about the scene was already giving her an anxious foreboding feeling. With Bill, Laura and the Tighs all there she felt like she was being cornered. The guilt of too many secrets was eating away at her as she looked at her collective parents.

"Kitten, come sit," Ellen instructed as she gestured to one of the kitchen chairs.

"No. I'd rather stand."

"Katya, we need to talk to you," Bill explained.

Katya stayed planted. She tried to remain expressionless but she knew that her eyes were probably giving away her apprehension.

"Then talk," She said tersely.

"Katya," Laura started. "I'm so glad you're here. I asked Saul to wake you. I need you to tell everyone what you told me. I need you to tell them what you told me about the message you keep hearing. Can you do that?" She said in an almost pleading tone.

Katya immediately felt exposed. One of her secrets had just been thrust out into the open. She hadn't been ready.

"Why?" Was all she managed to say.

Laura tried to calm herself. She didn't want to unnerve Katya anymore than she already seemed to be.

"Because I…I know where it all fits in now, Kat. I know but I need your help."

Katya chewed at her bottom lip. Could it be true? Could Laura have really come to some kind of conclusion? Had she experienced some kind of revelation? Laura had told Katya to trust her, to put her faith in her and let her worry about the burden of deciphering meaning from their dreams. Could she have really come through?

Katya was hopeful but she was afraid. If Laura had some big mystery revealed to her then how much did she really know? Katya was scared that she might know too much. Could Laura have realized what Sam Anders seemed to already understand?

"What…what do you know exactly?" She tested.

"I know what my dream was trying to tell me. I know where the repeating message in your dreams fits in too," Laura explained.

" What message?" Ellen questioned. She was becoming more and more annoyed over the fact that she had no idea what was going on. "Baby, what dreams?"

She asked turning to her daughter. "Why didn't you tell me any of this?"

Katya felt her hands starting to get clammy. Her nerves were on edge and now Ellen was upset. She hated that they were all looking at her. She glanced aimlessly around the cabin avoiding eye contact with everyone in the room.

"Katya, start talking," Saul ordered.

She had to tell them what she knew. This could be their shot, their answer to it all, if Laura was right. She just didn't want to give away any unnecessary information.

"I've been having dreams for months," Katya admitted. "They started soon after Bill and Laura downloaded. Since my accident in Obit I think. I took all that heavy medication. I thought the pills were causing these intense dreams but then when I stopped the meds the dreams never went away."

Saul's eye narrowed.

"Nightmares and crazy dreams are nothing new for you, kit. What's different now?"

Katya looked down at the floor and shrugged.

"I dunno."

Laura frowned.

"Katya, you explained it well enough to me," She encouraged. "Sweetheart, no one here is going to judge you. Please? This is important."

"Please, kitten? You can tell me," Ellen added, pitifully attempting to win Kat's attention.

Katya's heart sunk. She realized that Ellen now knew that she had been going to Laura to talk about her dreams. She felt guilty and suddenly felt more obligated to speak up.

"There have been lots of them," She said with a sigh. "Some repeat. Some I only have once. Some are dreams, some are awful nightmares. They are all about different things. It's just that they're all so much more vivid than normal dreams, so much more intense. Kind of like they were when I was little."

Katya stopped speaking when Bill stood from his chair. She felt her cheeks go warm. She knew that he had his suspicions about her. Sam had implied that her father understood in some way. She wondered how confident Bill was in his suppositions. She wondered if he was as sure now as Sam was. Would he out her to the rest of her family?

"Can you tell us a little more?" Bill asked calmly. "It's obvious that you feel these dreams are of some importance. You reached out to Laura for a reason."

Katya let go of her breath. She was relieved that Bill was only reiterating the topic at hand but now she needed to start talking. She needed to tell them about Husker and Helo.

"Kat?" Laura said once more. "Please, sweetheart, it'll be okay."

Katya finally looked into her birthmother's eyes. The look on Laura's face was all at once comforting and validating. She knew that Laura believed her and would defend her to anyone who didn't. It gave her courage. It was the first time that she had looked at her mother and felt a sense of protection. The warm feeling went straight to her heart and then ran through her veins like a sudden high.

"There's this message," Katya started. She kept her eyes on Laura who nodded with encouragement. "It's been kind of haunting me…my thoughts…my dreams. Even though my dreams and nightmares are all different, at some point I always hear the same words. I hear it in dozens of different ways, from different people in different settings but it's always the same," She explained with a shrug. " 'Its Husker and Helo'."

They were all quiet for a moment and Katya looked back down at the floor nervously awaiting an eventual response.

"Husker and Helo?" Saul echoed. He thought for a moment more before it registered. "I heard you yell that out one night…It was on the couch, little over a week ago. You woke up from a nightmare. I heard it and I asked you about it, Katya. You refused to answer me," He sharply recounted.

"It was weird," She shrugged in defense. "I felt crazy. I didn't know what to say."

"Saul," Ellen began to chide, " Don't yell at her."

" Damn it, Ellen, when are you going to stop treating her like a child? " He returned.

" Don't start with me, Saul ," She warned.

"Uncle Saul, I didn't know why it was happening then," Katya maintained. "I didn't know what to tell you!"

Bill stepped in hoping to subdue the Tigh family's dysfunction.

"Katya, can you tell us what's changed because Laura seems to think you understand what the message means now."

Katya swallowed hard and nodded.

"I had another dream the other night after the New Year's Eve party."

"I bet you did," Saul scoffed. "You drank like a damn fish."

"That wasn't why," Katya angrily asserted.

"Just let her speak, Saul," Bill mediated.

Laura took a few tentative steps toward Katya hoping to be of some comfort. The tension in the room had escalated at a rapid pace and the poor girl looked like she was ready to crawl out of her skin.

"Tell them what you told me, sweetheart," Laura prompted again. "It's alright."

For a second the sound of Laura's warm dulcet voice actually made Katya feel as though it all might really be okay. Months ago she wouldn't have let herself be so taken by such an obvious attempt at pacification but now she felt almost entitled to it. Her mother was trying to comfort her and she wanted it. It was what she'd waited years for, what she wept for as child alone at night. Somehow in this instance Laura was able to offer it and Katya was finally ready to accept.

"I had a dream that night," She resumed. "I heard it again. 'It's Husker and Helo.' Only this time there was an explanation with it; Husker and Helo will fly down to Earth."

After a beat Katya chanced a look at everyone's eyes. They all looked skeptical and confused. Alexi leaned over the back of his seat on the couch. He seemed totally bewildered. Only Laura's face was free of apprehension so Katya focused on her once again.

"At first I thought that it was impossible," Katya shrugged. "No one can get down to Earth's surface with the constant signal emissions at the atmosphere line. But then it was made clear to me. 'It's Husker and Helo' " She repeated. "The Admiral and Cpt. Agathon; they can go. They absolutely can."

"Myshka," Alexi finally joined in. "What the hell are you talking about?"

If Ellen was hurt that Katya hadn't gone to her with her persistent dreams Alexi was downright crushed. He had been sleeping by her side for all of these months begging her to tell him what was wrong, begging her to let him help. He had held her tightly after so many nightmares. He had heard her say those very words in her sleep dozens of times and yet she'd never shared why. How could she keep so much from him? He should have figured. Keeping their other precious secret all these months had made it easy for her to lie and hide. Deception had become her state of normalcy and Alexi hated it.

Katya straightened her back, licked her lips and did her best to explain.

"Bill Adama and Karl Agathon are the only living beings in Orbit who can make it to the surface of Earth. They have no cylon blood, no cylon programming, no cylon indicators of any kind. They are pure colonial beings. Even as biological Colonials, Laura and I can't claim the same because of Hera's blood but they can. The bot signal only targets cylon attributes and could never harm them. In my dream I was told that they would go down to Earth. They can and I believe that they will," Katya finally announced.

Laura gave her a small but proud smile.

"You were told ," Saul echoed with a squint of his eye. "Told by who?"

Suddenly all of Katya's walls rose back up around her.

She gave her uncle a stiff shrug.

"I don't know," She lied.

"What do you mean you don't know? " He barked.

"Saul!" Ellen scolded him again. "What good are you doing by getting angry at her!?"

"Damn it, Ellen! I'm trying to get somewhere and she's giving us more puzzles!"

"Kitten, this is awfully important," Ellen attempted. "Try to remember."

"Why does it even matter?" Kat challenged. "It's the message that counts!"

Ellen walked over to her and took her hand in comfort.

Laura graciously backed up giving them some space.

"Kat, please think hard," Ellen requested in a low tone, speaking only to her daughter. "Every little bit of information could be crucial. We don't know what will help and what won't."

"If it mattered then I would know," Kat claimed.

" For frak sake, Katya! " Saul shouted over Ellen's shoulder.

Before Ellen could yell at her husband again Katya finally snapped.

"Fine! Damn it!" She screamed back at him. "A boy told me! Okay!? "

"A boy?" Saul remarked. "What boy?"

Katya gave another obstinate shrug. She wouldn't tell them exactly who she believed she'd spoken to on the beach in her dream. It didn't matter. That part was for her only. It wasn't meant for anyone else. Her dreams were layered. They were a mix of so many things; her worries and fears, hopes and dreams, her visions of the future and memories that seem to come from another life and time altogether. They may have held within them a message meant for all mankind but the bulk of their complexities belonged to her alone. She would share the boy's message but not his identity. It had to be enough for now.

"You don't know who it was, baby?" Ellen said, tilting her head in confusion.

"It was a little boy," Katya vaguely expanded.

"Alexi's student?" Bill interrogated. "A friend's child maybe?"

"No," Katya shook her head. "I mean I don't know."

Laura was trying her best to be patient.

"Where did you know him from?" She asked hoping she could encourage Katya to keep sharing. "How did you recognize him?"

"I didn't."

Katya's nerves were shot. She didn't want to answer another question.

Ellen squeezed gently at her hand in an attempt to calm her but the gesture just made Katya yank it away.

Ellen winced. She could feel that Katya was about to lose it. She knew that if anyone pushed the girl any further she was going to fly off the handle. When Bill began to ask another question Ellen had to stop herself from shoving her hand over the man's mouth.

"You're saying you hadn't ever seen this boy before the dream?"

"I don't fucking know!" Katya roared. "I just told you! Are you people even listening to me? It was a fucking dream for frak sake!" She shouted as she began to back away from the oppressing group. "I'll say it once more, so you all better listen and then leave me the fuck alone! I had a dream that I was on your beach, Ellen," She said sharply as she turned to her. "A little blonde boy was making rockets in the sand! He said that one was mine and that one was Blazer's. He said that they were going to Earth! I told him that me and Blaze couldn't fly them there. The boy said he knew that so I asked him who would. He said Husker and Helo! Husker and frakking Helo! Okay? That's when it clicked in my mind! That's it! That's all! That's all I know!"

"Okay, okay, Kat," Ellen said trying to assuage the damage. "It's okay. As long as you're positively sure."

"I am sure! Then I woke up! The station alarms were going off. I got up, reported to duty and watched the Omega pod get blown to dust! Alright!? I don't have anything more to say!"

They were all quiet for a beat until Alexi spoke up. Katya's description of the child had piqued his interest.

"A little boy , myshka?" He taunted.

He knew that it would upset her but he was so angry. He hated that he was just finding it all out now. He had been as in the dark as the rest of them. He and his wife had been keeping their own precious secret together but now it was clear that she had so many others. It made every suspicion that he'd felt over the last few weeks come rolling back.

"Hvatit, Alexi," Katya grimly warned him."Nyet. Please just don't."

"A boy she's never met in her life apparently," Saul grumbled.

Katya was through. She didn't want to be there anymore.

"Fuck this! I've told you all that I know! I'm leaving!" She shouted as she turned and headed for the door.

Laura quickly went after her, bypassing Ellen on the way. She made her way in front of Katya and put her back to the door blocking the enraged young woman’s only way out.

"Would everyone hold on!?" She pleaded, trying to stop the hostilities from rising. "Katya, please don't go yet. Let's all just stop this and regroup!"

" You're one to talk, Laura, " Saul answered roughly. He was tired, hung over, fed up and more than just a little anxious. He had been waiting years and years for this moment. Was this really the revelation that was supposed to save them all? The thing that would make all of his hard work worth it? This jumbled mess of dreams and half premonitions? He never thought that it would be brought forth in such a chaotic and sloppy manner. It unnerved him and as always his fear came out as anger. "When you came in here you were just as wound up as she is!" He accused.

Laura rolled her eyes. He was right but his temper wasn't helping anything.

"Saul, the immediate point is that I think Katya is right. Her message is right. I know she's right. I feel it ."

Ellen took a step forward and crossed her arms.

"Well then maybe you should explain yourself, Laura," She suggested.

"You're right, Ellen. I will. I will but we need Sharon."

Katya's brow lowered at Laura's request.

"Why? Why Sharon? What did you figure out, Laura?"

Laura took a deep breath and let it out.

"I know what we have to do."

All eyes were on her. The air in the cabin was heavy with expectation. Everyone was waiting for her to continue. With her back up against the hatch Laura tried to compose herself. Her efforts became futile when a series of sudden knocks drummed through the door and vibrated against her already tense spine. She nearly jumped out of her skin at the sound.

"That'll be the Agathons," Saul said with a roll of his eye.

With a nod of permission from Ellen, Laura turned to open the hatch.

With the door all but cracked open Karl Agathon barreled in nearly dragging his wife along by her unaffected arm. He took no notice of who had answered the door, let alone the small crowd gathered at the Tigh's at such a strange hour of the early morning.

"Ellen, Sharon needs your help!" He shouted as he faced his wife's creator.

Ellen was caught off guard and quite confused at Helo's manic entrance. Behind him Sharon had tears in her eyes and a pained look on her face. When they had called on the Agathons for help they hadn't expected the couple would be the ones in immediate need of assistance.

"My help?" Ellen questioned. "Why? What's wrong?"

"She's in pain. Your quack military medical team, that Dr. Xao and his daughter, they say they can't help her."

" Karl, " Sharon groaned through the discomfort.

She was in pain but she didn't blame the Xaos. She knew deep down that what was happening to her was beyond their means.

Offended at Helo's assessment of the Xao family Katya stepped up in their defense.

"They aren't quacks, you oversized jackass . Why don't you get a grip and calm the hell down?"

"Kat, shut it!" Saul barked his warning before turning to Helo and echoing his daughter's concerns. "She's right, damn it! Now tone it the frak down and tell us what's wrong."

Helo shook his head in dismissal of the Tigh family’s berating.

"She's been in pain for weeks now," He answered. "They say that nothing's wrong, that it's all in her head. Maybe they don't know cylon anatomy well enough. I figured you and Ellen made her model. You two have a better chance at helping her," He finished in a more subdued and pleading tone.

Ellen nodded in understanding.

"Okay, Karl, why don't you let Sharon tell me what's wrong for herself."

She walked up to the Eight and put a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"It's her arm," Laura interjected before Sharon could speak.

The Agathons had taken the focus of the room with their wild entry but now all eyes were back on Laura Roslin; resurrected profit.

"Isn't it, Sharon?" She pressed. "Your palm and up to your wrist? Maybe your forearm?"

Sharon stared at Laura; jaw slack. Suddenly she knew that Roslin understood exactly what was happening to her. She didn't know how it was possible but in the moment it made a strange sort of sense. Maybe their connection through Herra was still strong. She wasn't exactly surprised. They'd shared such vivid dreams and visions long ago. Somehow she believed that it all tied together.

Sharon nodded at Laura in solid confirmation.

"How did you know?" Helo asked. He was quickly getting the feeling that he was very much out of the loop. The rest of the room was quiet and everyone seemed frozen stiff. "Wait, what's going on? Why are all of you up at this hour?

"We're telling ghost stories," Alexi mocked and slumped back onto the sofa.

Laura ignored both men and walked over to meet Sharon. Without being asked Sharon offered up her arm. Laura took her wrist in hand and Sharon watched as she gently traced the line of mysterious pain with the pads of her fingers.

"It starts here," Laura stated as she ran two delicate fingers up Sharon's palm. The lightness of her touch made the Eight's spine shiver. It didn't stop the pain but it had a calming effect and her skin almost tingled under Laura's soft fluid movement. "It goes into your wrist and travels upward," Laura finished, stopping the trail of her fingertips just a few inches before the crease of the other woman's elbow. "It's the site where you plugged into Galactica's mainframe to send out a virus to the cylons. It's where you took a knife to your flesh and fed in a network cable in order to save us from that fleet of incoming raiders."

Sharon was wide-eyed and silent at Laura's proclamation.

"Sharon?" Karl prompted.

"Well, isn't it?" Laura asked softly.

Sharon's eyes watered to the brim.

"She's right, Helo," She admitted in a burst of tears. " Laura, why is this happening to me? "

Laura sighed and gently began to rub at Sharon's aching arm as if it would take away the phantom pain.

"Because, once again, you're being called on to help. Once again you are being called to play your part. We all are."

" Laura, for the sake of the gods ," Bill groused " What's going on? "

"Bill, I never saw Sharon do that back then. I was so sick at that point. I could hardly get out of bed. I was frakking dying . You came to Colonial I that very night and told me about the virus in no great detail. Mostly we talked about the decision that you made to trust Sharon when we barely knew her. I never witnessed the event. Even when she did it again to cloake our Colonial signals during the rescue mission to Caprica, I never knew what it looked like," Laura emphatically explained. "But I have such a clear image of it in my mind."

"So what does this mean?" Katya asked.

Her heart felt like it was about to pound out of her chest in anticipation. As Laura started to unravel the first precarious knots of their dream-woven mess Katya's adrenaline levels began to surge.

"In my dreams," Laura began, "I keep having this vision of all of us in resurrection tubs. The tubs are arranged in sort of a cluster within a dark room. They are surrounded by a circle of glass pillars. The pillars made of clear crystal but they look like columns used in ancient Caprican architecture. I know it sounds bizarre but it's the same dream every time. I always climb out of my tub and look at the others around me. In the distance past the pillars I can't see anything but bleak darkness but I can hear the sounds of gunfire and bombs. The dream has gone through some subtle changes since the first time I had it; who was there and who wasn't. But this last time was when it all clicked." Laura swallowed hard as she got to the point. "In this latest version of my dream all of the cylons, including Saul and Ellen…well, you all had your arms hanging over the sides of your tubs. In the palms of each one of you was a cable that fed into your skin. When I saw the chord in Sharon's arm that's when I remembered the virus from back on Galactica. Then it all made sense. That's how we have to combat the enemy this time. You need to send out a virus."

"A virus," Ellen repeated.

Laura nodded.

"A virus that will effectively destroy the software used by the bots," She expanded. "Is that something you could do, Ellen?"

Laura knew that if it were to be done it would be Ellen who would ultimately command the charge. As far as the existing cylon were concerned whether they be raiders, centurion or flesh and blood, Ellen was their de facto leader. She had been for ages. To D'Anna and Sharon she was their maker. To Saul and Sam she was the head of their old team. To Margot she was a beloved matriarch. They would all look to her. If anyone was going to be able to successfully implement what it was that Laura was trying to describe it would be Ellen Tigh.

"I…I don't know," Ellen stumbled, putting a worried palm to her forehead. "Not by myself…I have to think."

"You aren't by yourself, Ellen," Sharon spoke up. "Think about who you and the Colonel have at your disposal now. You have me, D'Anna and Anders. With Margot's help we just might be able to come up with something," She encouraged.

"Laura, are you sure about this?" Ellen asked, intently looking back at the other women.

"I am," Laura declared with confidence. "I suppose my only credentials in this area are thousands of years old but I'm sure of it. When I saw those cables in your arms I knew it and…" She paused. "There was something else…Bill and Karl," She said turning her attentions to one man and then the other. "You were both missing from my dream the last time. You were totally gone and your tubs were empty. When I saw that you weren't there that's when I understood that Katya was right. I knew where you were because she had just told me. Husker and Helo had gone down to Earth."

"Me and the Admiral on Earth?" Helo echoed. "Am I missing something here?"

"I'll say," Alexi balked from his perch on the sofa.

Laura shrugged.

"I'm not sure what else I can say to convince you all."

"You shouldn't have to say anything more, Laura," Katya said in her mother's defense. "What else do you all want?"

"The pain," Sharon said in a stronger voice than she'd spoken in all night.

"What? What is it?" Helo asked, his concern spiking.

"It's gone," She announced with a breath of relief. "It's been constant for days. After Laura let go of my arm it started to fade. Now it's completely gone."

The strange announcement made Laura smile. Sharon was no longer suffering for her prophecy.

"Well frak me," Saul said, almost amused over the occurrence. "I'll be a son of a bitch. If that's not confirmation then I don't know what else is."

Ellen ran her hands over her face. Her mind was racing. How could she even begin to manage such a task?

"Look, Laura I'm a machine not a frakking magician," She said in doubt. "Even if we were able to come up with a virus that had the capability that you've described. we could only send it out into Orbit. It would affect any airbots within range but it would be a cylon virus by origin. The bot's cylon targeted barrier signal would stop it from making its way to the surface of Earth. The only way to destroy bots still on the planet would be to manually plug into their network and for that we would need to be able to…fly down there…Oh," She said with slow realization.

"It really does all add up," Bill surmised. "How 'bout that?"

"I told you," Katya muttered under her breath catching Ellen's attention.

"What do ya know," Ellen remarked, hands on her hips and brow arched. She glanced toward Laura and then back at her daughter. "I guess being a profit runs in the family."

Katya's face went red at Ellen's wry comment. A profit? She wasn't a profit. Was she? The air around her felt oppressing and she was becoming claustrophobic within the small crowded cabin. Whatever she was she could hardly breathe. She'd done her part and now she wanted to leave.

As the rest of them chattered on, continuing their analysis over the new revelations Katya slipped out of the hatch.

Only Alexi followed her.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR C

MILITARY UNIT

OBSERVATION DECK 1

YEAR: 2316

Alexi had followed Katya out of her parent's home. He could both see and feel that she was passed the point of being overwhelmed. Though he wasn't exactly happy with her at the moment he didn't want her to be alone. He figured that she would be heading back to bed; escaping the chaos and getting some shut-eye before her coming shift but she'd bypassed their cabin completely. He trailed her, asking repeatedly where she was going. She ignored him the first three times. The fourth time that he'd asked they were almost to their destination. She was headed to the observatory.

Upon entering the observation deck Katya took pause. Earth was immediately visible through the large viewing window. It illuminated the room with a cool blue glow. She kept her eyes forward stuck toward the world below. The deck was empty in the early morning hour and so she took a seat in the front row.

Alexi had joined her, leaving a seat between them for comfort or spite. He wasn't sure which. They had been silently watching the minimal Orbit System traffic fly by for almost half an hour before he finally spoke.

"Why did you come here?"

Katya shrugged. She leaned her elbow on the seat's armrest and began to bite at her thumbnail.

"I dunno. It was too crowded in there."

She’d felt like she was suffocating at the Tigh's. The cabin was her home. It had always been a safe place where she felt protected from the world's problems. Now over night it had turned into headquarters for the fight for Earth.

"This is what it's all about," She mumbled with her thumbnail between her teeth. "This damn planet. I just wanted to get a good look at it."

Her voice was barely loud enough for Alexi to hear. The acoustics of the room with its big glass wall didn't help. It seemed to swallow sound.

Whatever Katya’s reason was for heading to the observation deck, Alexi didn't think it was good enough.

"If we aren't going to get some sleep we should be visiting the Estuary right now."

Katya didn't look at him. She kept her eyes fixed on the view.

"You can go, Alexi. I'm not keeping you."

He bit his lip, trying his best to subdue his frustrations. There would be no point in raising his voice. It would only upset Katya further and the room would suck up any real volume that he could manage. It would be a waste. He settled for his signature stoic and unhappy tone.

"You promised me there wouldn't be any more secrets."

Katya shook her head but still wouldn't give him her eyes.

"I could tell you that I'm sorry but I'm not sure that I am," She told him, this time removing the nail from her mouth and leaning back in her chair. "I needed to figure some things out on my own."

Her explanation didn't make any sense to him.

"But you didn't do it on your own, Yekaterina. You went to Laura Roslin."

Katya's focus finally shot toward her husband.

"I went to my mother, Alexi. She helped me. As frightening as all of this is, it felt good to share something with her besides blood. Do you want me to feel sorry about that?"

Alexi rubbed at his brow.

"No…no," He relented, though he wasn't sure that he truly meant it. "No I guess I don't…but…Ellen is hurt," He added only to make sure that his small concession wasn't the end of their debate.

"I know that ," Katya bit. "She's been hurt since they day Laura resurrected. Are you trying to rub it in?"

Alexi flinched. Was that what he was doing? He'd never been the vindictive type. Why was he so driven to hurt her now?

"It's just that you always tell Ellen everything. She already feels threatened by Roslin…"

Katya hit her open fist on the armrest beside her.

"What should I have done, Alexi? Gone around to everyone and advertised that I was losing my mind?"

He knew that he should let it go but he was moved to keep provoking her.

"I'm just saying, Ellen has always been there for you. What has Roslin ever done for you?"

"She gave birth to me, Alexi! " Katya shouted as she stood from her seat and looked down at her husband.

Alexi glared up at her angry eyes that eerily matched the ultramarine blue of the planet behind her.

"Don't be so quick to forget, Yekaterina, she never intended to. "

He regretted the sharpness of his words immediately. The pained look in Katya's eyes was his instant punishment.

"You think that I could forget that? Fuck you, Alexi, " She swore. "You spiteful bastard. You know what that's like to live with. You know that I'll never forget. Unlike you I have my mother's face to remind me of it everytime I see her! I don't need your fucking jealousy-fueled reminder! "

Jealousy. The word hit Alexi like the back end of a rifle to the gut.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that," He attempted. "Ellen has always looked out for us. I'm just doing the same for her."

Katya crossed her arms.

" Are you? Or are you just as insulted as she is that I didn't share this part of my life with you? Don't use Ellen to get your own aggressions out toward me, Alexi just admit them ."

Alexi quickly rose to meet her where she stood.

"Fine! I am angry! When this is all over, Katya, we need to start fresh! There have been too many lies. Too many secrets!" He shouted. He stepped back and attempted to calm himself. "You know, I think when we agreed to lie to your family it started to become normal for us after a while. Now it's hard to know if we are keeping things from each other or not."

Katya looked down at her feet. She couldn't defend herself from his accusation. Going to Laura was something that she could explain to him. He had no right to be bitter about her confiding in her mother but his other allegations were incredibly true. She had indeed been keeping things from him, things that she still wouldn't admit. She had no justification for that.

"I'm sorry that you feel that way, Alexi."

It was as much as she could offer him.

He sighed and slumped back down into one of the chairs.

"Listen to me, Lex," Katya appealed. "Laura Roslin was the only one who could help me with this. The only one . And I'm not sorry because when I went to her I felt understood and I felt validated. I felt a connection to my birthmother that I had already given up on. I'm not sorry because if what she and I figured out really does come to be then we will all be better off for it."

"But you don't seem so convinced that it will," He challenged.

"What?"

"You were scared back at your parent's house. I could feel it. I still can."

"It's a scary situation," Katya shrugged.

"There's more to it."

"I'm not allowed to just be scared?"

"Of course you are. It is terrifying but you're right. If this works, Yekaterina…this will be a new start for all of us. A new life. Why do you seem so angry that it's even happening?"

Katya's lips parted but she said nothing. She turned to face the glass and the expanse of the giant planet they hovered over. After staring for what felt like forever she backed up and took the seat beside her husband.

"What if I don't want to go down there?" Katya finally asked in what Alexi could only describe as a child-like voice.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know," She stalled. "I want this to succeed. I want our people to be free. I want the war to end but…I don't know what it's like down on that planet. Alpha Station is all I know. It's my home. What if I don't like it down there? Everyone is trying to get there and I'm not sure if I would even want to go. Peace? What is peace? I fight because I don’t know how to do anything else. Sometimes I feel like I'm not supposed to get there at all. It doesn't feel right."

Alexi shrugged.

"We would live where it made sense to live," He said; ever the voice of blunt practicality. "If it's best for our family to be here on Alpha then here is where we will stay. But if it looks like Earth is a better place for us to be for our future, then we’ll go."

Katya gave him a look that he'd become familiar with after their years together. It was a look that she gave him when his logic was overpowering his empathy. He couldn't always tell for himself. He counted on her to be his reminder, to soften his hard nature without even being asked. He loved that about her. Though Katya could be cool and distant in her own right, for her it was more of a learned defense. For Alexi it was simply his natural character. He had hardly been conscious of it until one day when he was about seventeen. He'd been particularly insensitive that day as he and Katya fought in the Tigh's living room. He'd caused Kat to storm angrily out of the cabin. After overhearing the argument Ellen had chuckled at him and shook her head as if in pity; " Just like your mother, " She had said in a rare reference to the Six. " The most human of emotions are the hardest for you and yet they're the very things you admire the most in others."

The comment had embarrassed Alexi in the moment but as time went on he'd become grateful for it. At least it had made him aware.

"We'll be together either way, myshka," He added in deliberate consolation. "Alpha Station, Earth, wherever. It doesn't matter as long as we are together."

"Ellen says that I'm going to love it," Katya sighed.

Alexi nodded.

"I think you will."

"She says that she's going to take me to the beach."

"Dah," He said with a smirk and a nod.

"But I can't swim."

"There's plenty of land, Yekaterina," He chuckled at her meandering train of thought.

"I know. I know that. It's just…you've been down there," Katya drawled. "I on the other hand have no idea what it's really like."

"Hardly," He countered recalling the brief military training he'd experienced on the planet. "I was down there for less than an hour before we got run off."

"That's an hour more than me."

Alexi sighed.

"Things won't happen overnight, myshka. We will visit first. You'll see."

"If this all even works."

"It has to, Kat. It has to. Look…I was upset…but I do believe you. I believe your mother too. I just wish that you had told me."

With his offer of conciliatory honesty Katya took his hand.

"You're right, Lex. After this is all over no, more secrets ever again as long as we live."

Alexi nodded in agreement. His anger was waning and he got the feeling that her defensiveness was at least starting to simmer.

"The message, Yekaterina, back at Saul and Ellen's you said a little boy explained it all to you," He prompted, hoping his assumptions of her dream were correct.

Katya raised a brow and her lips curled into a small involuntary smile.

"Who was this little boy," He pushed.

Katya shrugged and finally let her smile broaden. It made Alexi grin knowingly in return.

"What did he look like?" He asked, now eager to hear.

"He had your eyes," She happily confessed. "He was very serious. And he had hair the color of your mom's, flaxen blonde. SOlnyshko moyO. He was beautiful."

"He was?"

"Yes. Of course he was and…"

"And what?"

"And before I woke up our rybka came for him."

"You saw her too?"

"Yes. He told me his sister was there. I looked up and there she was. I saw her. I realized than that I had seen her in a dream once before, weeks ago," She explained, recalling the other dream shoreline, the one she associated with Laura. "Devochka moya with copper pigtails and sea-green eyes. A little angel."

Alexi grinned larger than Katya was sure that he ever had.

"Who knows if that's what they will really look like…It's only what my mind came up with I guess…But I know it was suppose to be them, Lex."

"I'm looking forward to the future, myshka."

Alexi was disappointed to see that his expression of hope had caused Katya’s eyes to water.

"Schtoh sluchilys?"

"Alexi, I know that this is the road to salvation but it is going to come at a heavy cost," Katya said as her tears began to drop one by one. "People are going to die. And if we fail…We've never had more to lose…I'm so afraid and I'm sick of it. I miss being able to charge defiantly into the face of danger. I used to dare it to come get me, Lex, and now I'm always scared."

Alexi took both of her hands in his.

"I am too, Katyy but we can only go forward. We must fight for our future."

"It will come with a price, Alexi."

"Dah, and I'd give anything for a future with you."

The two sat for a while longer staring at the system traffic buzzing over the expanse of Earth.

"Lex, do you wish that your parents' bodies had survived to be resurrected?" Katya eventually asked.

Alexi didn't answer.

"I'm sorry that I called you jealous," She attempted.

"That's okay," He shrugged.

"I'm just wondering. With all you and I have experienced now, seeing everyone else resurrect and get the chance interact. Do you wish that your parents were here?"

"I don't know, Kat," Alexi said with groan. "I look at Blaze with his parents and sometimes I think about it. Sometimes I think that maybe I missed out," He considered. "Then I look at you with Roslin and Adama and I honestly don't know what to think." He paused and rubbed at his stubbled jaw. "And then…then I remember the shit that Margot has been through over all of this and I think that I am better off after all."

Katya nodded in understanding.

"Who knows what it would have been like for me?" Alexi considered. "My birth parents could hardly be called heroes no matter how key they were in finding Earth. I know that you think that I'm just trying to avoid the emotion but I truly think that I'm okay with the fact that they aren't here. As long as their absence doesn't interfere with the prophecy then I'm pretty sure that this is what was meant to be, Kat. I wasn't meant to know Caprica Six or Gaius Baltar," He reasoned. "Besides, Saul and Ellen are my parents. The closest thing anyway since my dad's been gone. Odd as they are, they are good people. They are my mother and father. I don't need any parents other than them."

Alexi's sweet sincerity made Katya smile.

"If you told Ellen that she would burst into tears, Lex."

"Yeah, and Saul would roll his lonely eye all the way to the back of his skull."

Katya snickered at the image but shook her head.

"You mean so much more to that man than you understand, Alexi," She countered. "Sometimes I think he looks at you and he wishes more than anyone that Caprica were here. You know how I hate that it's true but I know he loved her. Maybe not the way he loves Ellen, but it was still love. It was still a connection. Caprica was going to have his son. You can understand that bond now. She was special to him. She's been gone for so long, she's never coming back and you're the closest thing to their son that he ever got to see. He loves you very much in his own way."

Alexi was quiet for a while as he looked down at the swirling clouds over the azure planet below.

"I want the twins to be Tighs," He finally said.

Katya knitted her brows. She wasn't sure that she had heard him correctly.

"Prastieh?"

"I want to go to the lab tonight and change the surnames on their station documents. I have been meaning to tell you for a while. Things are starting to happen now, plans are getting serious. I want it done right away before more time is wasted."

Katya gave him a bright and grateful smile.

"Alexi, that's amazing."

"You and I don't share a last name anyway," He shrugged trying to minimize the sentiment. "And we have cousins and family related to our adoptive fathers all over the system. There will be other Isakoffs and Petrovs in the world. The Tigh name shouldn't end with Saul and Ellen. It deserves to go on. They've done more for us than anyone else ever has. They've kept our people alive. They've loved us, protected us. They deserve to be honored for their sacrifice. They deserve a legacy. That's the name I want to pass down."

Katya grinned and leaned over to kiss his cheek.

"I couldn't agree more. I love you, malysh."

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

PATROL OFFICE: 10B; TEMP. ASSIGNMENT: FIGHTER SQUADRON 1; LUNA FORCE

YEAR: 2316

Preparations began immediately. Cmdr. Kaplan was briefed on Katya and Laura's revelations. After alerting the heads of the government he gave Ellen the okay to start implementing plans. Their first meeting was held in the Luna Force patrol room. They were all in attendance along with Kaplan and a few other Orbit Patrol and marine officers.

The large empty room with its wall screen's luminous live feed of Earth below provided an appropriate setting.

Bill hadn't been in the room since he and Katya had their first conversation as father and daughter. It brought back such a clear memory of their interactions just six months before. She'd been so cold, so defensive and so obviously hiding her pain and fear. Bill realized how much she had truly warmed up. During the meeting he and Laura sat by their child's side with a sense of ease and comfort that had seemed impossible only a few short months before. He promised himself that he'd never take the feeling for granted.

It had been weeks since Margot was in the same room with both of her birth parents. The reunion was of little significance to her. They had no choice but to attend the meeting. She had a job to do and Sam and D'Anna's presence did nothing but provide an awkward tension for her to work through.

The polarized greetings that she got from each of them were enough to make her head spin. D'Anna immediately smiled at her; as warmly as her robotic nature could possibly manage. She appeared to be elated to be in daughter's company but too apprehensive to say hello. Margot reluctantly placated the women and sat in a chair beside her. She could instantly sense how pleased it made the cylon woman and she wasn't quite sure how to feel about it. Ellen had warned Margot that she and D'Anna would soon be called to work together again. She had no choice in the matter. She figured that she might as well jump in feet first.

In contrast to D'Anna's eagerness Sam Anders offered Margot nothing but a nervous curt nod. He looked at her as if he was almost frightened that she might come near him. She was more than happy to leave him be.

Ellen led the meeting with Kaplan's help.

The topic of the virus was first at hand.

Ellen proposed a two week time frame. She called upon Sharon, Margot and D'Anna to take up temporary residence with her aboard the basestar in order to best procure a suitable cylon virus and proper means of getting it to both airbots and the bot's earthbound network. All they had to go on was Laura's vision and Sharon's experience back on Galactica. It wouldn't be easy.

Though Ellen was apprehensive to give Sam any responsibility she had noticed a change in him since he started spending more time with Tawny Xao. He'd become calmer, more collected and reasonable. He'd stopped pestering Katya after the new year began and the trouble with his guards had almost totally ceased. Ellen was hopeful that he'd reached a turning point. After a guilt ridden speech about trust she charged him with staying aboard the space station to configure any related cylon logistics on Alpha Station. The meeting was dismissed and the three cylon women left for the basestar just forty-eight hours later.

Over the next week anticipation rose. Their entire plan of action would be based on what Ellen and her cylon team could come up with. While most other preparations were on hold Bill and Helo started their crash course in basic flight with Katya and Blaze as their primary instructors. It was decided that no matter what happened, the two of them needed to be ready to fly as soon as possible. With their children as their teachers both men entered the cockpit for the first time in ages. Bill was proud to have his daughter as his instructor. Helo felt much the same about Blazer. If the reason behind their training hadn't been so dire both men would have admitted to enjoying every moment of it.

Rather than simply training the pilots in their own ships as Katya's vision had foretold Kaplan had decided that Husker and Helo would learn to fly both rockets and shuttles for either eventuality.

They ran drills far away from the space stations in a quiet open range just outside of the lunar gravity field. Despite their looming goal the hours spent in flight were mostly light and pleasant.

During mock tag battles fluid banter could be heard through the com systems of each pilot's ship.

"Blazer, your father flies just like you; right up my ass," Katya said darting away from Helo and the lights of his red training shots.

"I heard that, Koshka," Helo's voice replied over the com.

"I wasn't whispering, Helo."

"Koshka, be nice," Blazer teased.

"Hey, Koshka," Helo added. "Didn't Ellen ever teach you that if you can't say anything nice you shouldn't say anything at all?"

"Nope. But she taught me six different cures for a hangover and how to flirt my way out of a disciplinary infraction."

"That's just great," Helo caustically replied, narrowly missing a shot from Husker's ship.

"Eye's open, Helo," Bill warned.

Blaze swooped in to fire a few beams in the Admiral's direction.

"She taught me how to tie a cherry stem in a knot with my tongue,” He shared as he shot.

"That's weird Blazer," Katya laughed. "Don't tell people that."

Huskers voice came over the com.

"Would you three quit fooling around and concentrate?"

"Now you made the Old Man mad," Helo cautioned in jest.

"Maybe you made him mad, Helo," Kat needled. "You were his pilot. Maybe he's ashamed of how you're flying," She suggested as she fired at the former colonial captain.

Helo took two hits and got out of her way.

"Hey, I'm doing pretty well for being dead for two hundred thousand years and then learning the feel of a new bird. Just wait until we train in the shuttles tomorrow. That’s where I’ll shine. They handle just like a raptor."

"You're doing good, Helo," Blaze confirmed.

"Yeah you're doing real, real good," Katya said as she unrelentingly rained the lights of her blue training shots upon Helo's ship, "You're doing so good and...now...you're dead," She said as she watched the demo light on his ship go off.

"Frak," Helo swore.

A low snickering came over the com system.

"What do ya hear, Koshka?" Husker said through a chuckle, unable to contain his amusement any longer.

"Nothing but the rain, Sir," Katya answered proudly.

"Then grab your gun and bring in the cat."

"Aye, Aye, 10-4"

Back on Alpha Station Ellen's calls came from the basestar day and night pestering Laura for more details about her dreams and checking in to see if she'd remembered anything new.

"Ellen, if I knew anything else I would call you," Laura groused during one early morning call.

"Bear with us, Laura. We aren't all as prophetic as you," Ellen needled. "Maybe we aren't asking you the right questions."

"Honestly, Ellen, what else is there to ask?"

Ellen huffed over the line. She was frustrated. The pressure that she and the others on the basestar felt to succeed was wearing on them.

"I don't know..." She paused. For a while there was nothing but dead air on the call as she tried to think of a useful question. "How's my kitten?" She finally asked.

The familial inquiry took Laura by surprise. Ellen was readily assuming that Laura was spending enough time with Katya to have assessed her current condition. More than that, there was no bitterness or accusation attached to it. It took her a moment to answer.

"Uh…"

"Saul says she's fine," Ellen anxiously cut in. "But she sounds strange when I call. I never know if Saul is just trying to stop me from worrying. How does she seem to you?"

Laura didn't have to consider her answer for very long.

"Nervous," She replied. "She's on edge. Bill says flight training is going well but when I talk to her she seems, jumpy, tense…almost distracted. We had her and Alexi over for dinner the other night when Saul took a late shift. They hardly said a word."

"That's not so out of the ordinary for those two," Ellen rationalized.

"This was different," Laura insisted. "She seems…"

"Scared," Ellen finished for her.

"Yes."

Ellen let out a shaky breath. She'd figured as much. Laura was just confirming what she'd already assumed.

"You have to keep telling her that it's going to be okay, Laura," She instructed. She waited, expecting a reply but nothing came. "Laura? Are you there?"

"Yes."

"Did you hear me?"

"Yes…but…well…is it?" Laura tentatively asked. "Going to be okay, I mean?"

Ellen swallowed so hard that Laura could hear the gulp over her cuff's speaker.

"That doesn't matter, Laura. You have to tell Katya that no matter what. Just keep telling her that it's all going to be okay. That's your job," She firmly charged. "Understand?"

"Yeah…yeah, Ellen. I will."

It was the first time Ellen called Laura to ask about their daughter's well-being. Their calls consistently continued until the cylon team returned home.

When the basestar team finally arrived on Alpha Station it was with good news. With Ellen and D'Anna’s help Margot had been able to write a cylon virus capable of corrupting bot software. Ellen and Kaplan reassembled everyone for a second meeting in the Luna Force office. This time they had their weapon. They just had to decide what to do with it.

"The virus has to be manually transmitted out into Orbit," Ellen explained to the room. "Laura's vision turned out to be quite accurate. This virus isn't something that we can send out using the basestar or any other cylon technology. If we did that then it would infect the stream immediately and then us. The fact that we had to make sure that the virus was compatible with both cylon and bot software poses a big problem. We'll need every living cylon of flesh and blood to voluntarily upload the virus, actively block it against their own software and then send it out into the atmosphere. Once the bots are infected it should shut down their entire operating system in a matter of seconds."

"Wait a second," Sam interjected. "Won't it infect our raiders out in Orbit?"

"They'll be using a new temporary firewall as will the baseship," Ellen explained. "A firewall we can't use ourselves since we need to upload the damn thing," She sighed. "Anyway, we've come up with a way to do this that we think will work but…" Ellen paused and looked to Margot, "there is an unavoidable hazard."

The young engineer stood as tall as she could and then took over Ellen's exposition.

"We've studied bot software enough to know that they are programmed to automatically send a copy of any and all data that they receive back to the sender. It sort of ricochets off of them," She said for visual effect. "They do it with anything that comes in. Even the most benign data transfer. It's meant to be a built in defense mechanism. Harmful programs and viruses might infiltrate their network but not before they send it hurling back into the faces of whomever sent it to them."

"Like a final fuck you," Blazer darkly mused.

"Exactly," Margot agreed. "It also serves to buy them time. If they received a viral weapon that wasn't strong enough to shut down their whole network then sending it back to the enemy might give them time to defragment and reconfigure. But like Blaze just said, if it did work then sending the virus back would take their aggressors down with them before they essentially died."

"Well, how do we stop that from happening?" Katya asked.

"Oh, we can't," D'Anna deadpanned.

Ellen glared at the Three before taking over.

"We'll have to fight it off," She said with less confidence than she would have liked. "It's another reason why we can't put this in the hands of simple machines. This will take sentient thought and willpower to stave off both when we upload it and when it comes back at us. It needs to be actively blocked until we can disconnect from the transmission."

Sam cringed, wondering just what he would be disconnecting from.

"How exactly is it going to be sent out?" He posed.

Ellen stopped herself from flinching at the question but Sam knew her well enough to decipher the look on her face. Whatever they were about to do it wasn't going to be pleasant.

"I have Margot and her team of engineers working on that. It's going to involve a live cable fed into each individual," Ellen admitted. "Laura was spot on about that. The cable will bypass the cylon stream consoles and instead use Alpha's wireless network to blast the signal out into Orbit. It's not unlike what the bots are doing with their own signal."

Blaze stood without waiting to be called on.

"Well, that brings up the bigger question, doesn't it?" He reminded everyone. "It's a cylon signal. It won't make it past the atmosphere line. Bots down there won't be harmed by it at all."

"Your right," Sharon confirmed. "In order to infect the bots and their system on the surface of Earth two cylons will have to go down to the surface. On each hemisphere of the planet there is a large network control center. It's like a bot hub, for lack of a better description. It's where their entire network globally streams from. To infect each of the two main control centers someone will have to manually plug into their network with the same type of cable and send the virus direct. It will then wirelessly transfer to all bot software on the surface of the planet."

Ellen hadn't had time to brief Saul on the plan of action before the meeting. He was hearing it all for the first time just like the others and so far he didn't like it.

"How in the hell do you figure we'll manage that?" He scoffed.

To him, such a mission sounded like an impossibility.

"We need two cylons to go down there," Sharon expanded. "We have two colonial pilots capable of making their way down unharmed. They’ll each be taking a cylon aboard with them," She paused and looked at her husband's worried yet brave eyes. "Husker and Helo will each have to fly to a separate hemisphere. Once they've landed and their cylon passengers have recovered from the effects of the atmosphere signal the ground mission will begin. Each cylon will make their way to the designated network mainframe, infiltrate the hub and then hopefully plug in and infect the entire bot network system on each side of the planet. If they are able to complete that mission every bot on the surface will be totally disabled along with all of their machinery. Theoretically the flight teams would have a safe journey home as long as we did our job here in Orbit."

" A safe journey home? " Katya scowled. Husker and Helo's flight was her vision but its fruition seemed doubtful. "Forget about getting them home. Getting them down there in the first place would be nightmare. So what if Husker and Helo can technically fly down there with no signal effects? They would be shot out of the blue in no time taking their cylon passenger down with them."

"Not necessarily," Ellen countered. "That's where the Commander and Orbit Patrol come in. They are going to have to come up with a way to make this part work."

Kaplan stepped up and looked directly at Katya.

"Captain," He said, his voice deep and firm, obviously meant to focus his anxious pilot.

"Yes, Sir?" She answered and stood to face him.

"I want you on as tactical lead for this mission. This is probably going to lead to an all out attack. You and Blazer have done a fine job training these men in flight. Now I need you to figure out the best way to get Husker and Helo down to the surface with their cylon passengers and a small team aboard two shuttles."

Katya wanted to speak but she couldn't get out anything coherent.

"I…uh…"

"Is there a problem, Captain?" Kaplan asked with narrow eyes.

Not only was he pulling her from in flight combat, he was piling a load of responsibility on top of her. Katya had thought that her part was done. She told everyone about her dream and now Husker and Helo were going to Earth. She never thought that she would be the one tasked with getting them down there. The new responsibility was a sudden weight added to the stack on her shoulders.

"Well…uh…that means I won't be flying…Sir."

"Correct. You'll be with me running the com on the bridge."

"I just…"

The commander squinted at her flustered reaction.

"I can count on your for this, can't I, Koshka?"

Katya knew that she must look like a scared child. She'd told Alexi she was sick of being afraid. If all she knew how to do was fight then she needed to start fighting against her fear. She gulped back her unease and stood straight.

"Yes. Yes, Sir,” She replied as she immediately broke out into sweat.

"You can do this, myshka," Alexi whispered to her.

She gave him an unconvincing nod. Her mind began to race in a thousand different directions. She almost didn't hear Sharon pick up where Ellen had left off.

"Look, the logistics still need to be worked out," The Eight rationalized. "But this is our plan. All signs have led us to this point. We have to work with what we've got and trust that we can all come together to figure this out."

"Wait," Blaze said as scratched at his chin. "So how do you decide who goes down to the surface with Husker and Helo and who stays here?"

"She doesn't decide," D'Anna quickly answered with a prim smile. "I freely volunteer."

The room was quiet for a beat. No one seemed to have any objections to D'Anna taking such a risky charge but it made Saul's gut fill with guilt. He'd left her to die on a desolate Earth once before. The last Three; one of his very own creations left to go extinct. He'd brought D'Anna back in Kara's place. It was his fault that she was alive again to fight in yet another war. He couldn't stand to send her on a mission where she could theoretically die alone all over again.

"I can go," He abruptly offered, surprising everyone, especially his wife. "I'll go too. I’ll be the second."

D'Anna gave him a small but genuine smile from across the room. It was enough to let Saul know that she understood the meaning of his offer.

"Colonel Tigh," Margot started, "With all due respect, D'Anna and I are the primary authors of the virus. We know exactly what has to be done and exactly how we need to do it. I think it's best that I go."

Saul gave no credence to Margot's proposal. He wasn't sending one of the kids down to that violent hellscape of a planet. She had never even occurred to him as an option. She was brilliant and reliable. He gave her credit for that but he couldn't imagine their sweet Margot being sent down into dangerous enemy territory. She had just created a virus capable of destroying an entire race of killer robots but when Saul looked at her he couldn't see past her youth, inexperience and innocence. This had to be a job for someone more proficient; someone who had lived a life and fought a war before.

"No, Specialist," He said dismissing her assessment. "That's very brave of you and we all thank you for the effort and hard work that you've done to get us this far but Earth could very well be a one way mission. You'll be staying home."

Margot scowled and determination rose within her.

"Look, if D'Anna is going down I am too. We wrote this virus together. I want to go down there with her."

She avoided looking over at her birthmother but she could feel D'Anna's grateful eyes staring right at her.

On the other side of the room Sam felt like he had a knot in his throat. He knew he should volunteer. He was faster and more agile than Saul and if it truly came down to Margot going, the very least that he could was take his child's place on the front lines. Maybe it would make up for the fact that he could hardly bring himself to look at her.

"Margot," Sam began but the young woman willfully ignored him.

"Commander, Ellen, please ," She began to beg. "This is the most important thing I've ever done in my life. Besides D'Anna no one knows this virus or how to handle it better than me. I can do this. It's my virus. It's my work. You have to let me go."

Saul sternly shook his head.

"Out of the…"

"Very well, Specialist," The Commander spoke over the Colonel's vehement denial.

Saul's eye nearly bugged out of its socket as he heard Kaplan grant Margot permission to go.

"You're right," Kaplan continued. "You've done the work. Now it's time to implement it."

Margot gave the commander a grateful nod.

"Yes, Sir. Thank you, Sir."

Saul was angry. He wouldn't go against the commander but he also had no interest in seeing one of his kids being thrown into the fire. He immediately looked to Ellen for help. He knew that she had to hate the idea even more than he did but when they locked eyes she tearfully shrugged. She was at a loss as to what to do too. Saul sighed and hoped that they would be able to change the girl's mind later on away from an audience.

"Well, now what?" Blaze openly asked.

Sharon looked at her son and gave him a smile of forced courage.

"Now we get to work."

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR C

COMMAND CONTROL CENTER/ C³

TACTICAL STATION/ TEMPORARY ASSIGNMENT; CYLON TRANSMISSION CENTER

YEAR: 2316

For days Margot's team of engineers had been working with Sam to convert Alpha's control room into a cylon transmission center. Neither was happy that they'd been tasked to work together but despite their reluctance to even communicate with more than just a few curt words at a time they'd managed to get a lot done in a short amount of time. Thankfully Ellen and Sharon's plans for the setup were explicit and left little room for discussion or debate. A few times, with Tawny's words of encouragement in his head, Sam had tried to start up a bit of friendly benign conversation with his daughter. She'd shut him down at every attempt. Mostly they spoke through the other engineers and staff on the team, sending messages and delegating tasks through others. It quickly became their accepted routine and Sam stopped his weak attempts all together. It was why he was particularly caught off guard the morning Margot entered and immediately called his name.

"Sam?" She said from across the room.

He looked up from where he sat on the floor rewiring a cable.

"I'm almost done with this," He told her.

"Well take five. Didn't you get the message? Ellen just called an emergency meeting. Everyone is coming here. I already told the rest of the crew to hang back."

"Oh," He said looking to his cuff. "I guess I missed it."

He'd been so focused on his work that he hadn't even felt his cuff's vibration.

"Well, get up," She flatly instructed. "They're on their way."

Sam got to his feet as Margot began to wander around the modified control room observing their work in progress. He watched her; lips set in a hard line and grey eyes cool and stern. She looked so far from the sweet and friendly girl everyone described her as. Sam understood that it was his own fault. He was sure that she was sweet and friendly, just not around him. As much has he accepted that he was the cause of change in Margot’s demeanor he couldn't bring himself to do much about it. He knew that he could never accept the young woman as his daughter. He was sorry for the hurt that his inability inflicted upon her but the reality of her existence was just far too much for Sam to embrace. He'd never asked for her, he'd never consented to her conception. He'd simply been woken up and told that he had a child. Genetically it was true but for Sam it went no further. He had no ill will toward the young women. He just didn't want to be seen as her father. Sam tried to rationalize his feelings whenever Margot was around. He told himself that she was better off without him as family. He told himself that she had Saul and Ellen and that he couldn't ask for anyone else better to love his child when he couldn't. Even so, guilt weighed on him daily. The more he worked with Margot the worse it was. With Tawny’s help he'd decided that he needed to do something to help make up for what he could never offer the girl.

"Margot?" He said getting her attention.

"What?"

Same drew his bottom lip between his teeth.

"I've been wanting to talk to you about…about what you're getting ready to do."

Her stormy eyes squinted at him.

"Why?"

Sam dropped his hands to his side.

"You do understand the danger, don't you?"

Margot crossed her arms over her chest.

"I find that question insulting."

The coolness with which she said the words made Sam shiver. She echoed her birthmother almost perfectly. He didn't know the girl well but he knew enough to understand that it wasn't her natural tone. She'd been spending time with D'Anna. Though it was a little chilling to see her picking up on the Three's mannerisms he decided that it was somewhat reassuring. She had one biological parent who was more than willing to play the role. He sincerely hoped that D'Anna would be enough to fill whatever void the girl felt.

"I didn't mean to insult you. I'm sorry. That came out wrong. Look, I just…I'd like to offer to go in your place."

"What?"

"I think that I should be the one to go down there with D'Anna. It's not that I don't think you can do it…"

" Then why? "

"Well, I've been in active combat before. I think I have the experience to handle it. I want to offer you a way out of the danger. You know how risky this mission will be. And...I know that you love Ellen very much," Sam attempted to appeal. "So do I. I think it would mean a lot to her if you were here where she could see that you were relatively safe. There's no shame in backing…"

" Just stop ," Margot bit, cutting him off.

Sam's mouth went shut and his lips formed a firm line.

"Look, Sam, I don't want you to go down there. I don't want your favors. I don't want anything from you at all . I would think that you would be relieved about that."

Sam huffed.

"I'm sorry, Margot…I just…"

"You don't need to explain it to me. I get it. I don't need to hear it. And you know what? It's okay. I don't expect anything from you. I certainly don't want anything that you don't want to give," She firmly told him. "I'll say this to you once; I'm sorry for what was done to you. I understand that all I am to you is a reminder of it but please, Sam, work through it without me. I came to terms with it a long time ago. I'm not here to help you work through your issues or to take away your guilt. I'm here to help you bolt some cylon shit to the floor. That's it. Okay?"

Sam frowned. Briefly he considered trying to change her mind but then stopped himself.

"Yeah…"Sam said with a nod. "Yeah, okay."

They stood there in heavy awkward silence for a while before Sam looked around at the room and let out a low hum.

"So what's next?"

"Nothing, actually," Margot said as she glumly nudged at an abandoned toolbox with her boot. "Ellen…she has some bad news. That's why she called the meeting. Looks like all of this might be for nothing."

Sam scowled.

"What? What are you talking about?"

Before Margot could answer him the Colonel's gravelly voice sounded through the room.

"Doesn't look like much," Saul groused looking over the new construction.

Behind him Bill and Laura filed in followed by Katya and Alexi.

"It's coming along," Sam defended.

Margot huffed and rolled her eyes, ignoring Blaze and Helo as they walked in and gleefully waved in her direction. She gave the toolbox a firmer kick closing its lid and making it echo through the room.

"Yeah, well it's all going to be pretty pointless if what Sharon and Ellen have to say is right,” She bitterly groused with her hands in the pockets of her trousers.

"What now?" Saul glowered.

"Why, Margot?" Laura asked. "Is something wrong?"

"Pointless? What's pointless?" Blaze questioned.

"Ask them yourselves," Margot shrugged and gestured toward the control room hatch.

They all turned to see Ellen enter with Sharon and D'Anna at her back.

"What's going on, Ellen?" Saul prompted, leaving no time for greetings or pleasantries. "What's the matter this time?"

Ellen stopped in the middle of the room. She put her hands on her hips and looked around at all of the work that Sam and Margot had already completed. It was nearly done. It made her so proud to see but so very sad. Her throat swelled. She tried to swallow the feeling down but it just made it feel tighter.

"Aunt Ellen?" Katya called, trying to bring her attention back to the anxious group.

Ellen surveyed the lot of them; eager and apprehensive. She cleared her tense throat and licked at her lips before she began.

"Sharon and I went back to the basestar," She started. "We just wanted to double check a few things. Run some configurations…"

" And? " Saul pushed.

Ellen crossed her arms and looked downward. She didn't want to go on.

"Sharon," She said, prompting the other woman to take over.

Sharon stepped up without missing a beat.

"Margot and D'Anna did a brilliant job creating the virus but there is a problem."

"We know that much. Just explain it," The Colonel complained.

" There aren't enough of us ," Margot harshly announced in frustration before Sharon could go on. "So...I dunno. Fuck it. I guess it's over . "

Ellen gave her a half hearted glare but didn't have any energy left to reprimand the girl for her outburst. She let out a deep sigh before trying again to explain.

"With two cylon going down to the surface to plug directly into the bot network that leaves four of us; Me, Saul, Sam and Sharon left to send out the transmission through the entire Orbit System."

"What's the issue exactly?" Bill inquired.

Ellen's face fell in frustration and utter disappointment. Her eyes were wet and her arms were tightly crossed over chest. When Sharon noticed her emotional state she took over once again.

"We don't think that the signal is going to be strong enough."

"Is there any way to amplify it?" Laura posed.

"No," Sharon said dropping her arms to her side. "Not really."

"Tell them all the kicker," Margot bitterly remarked.

" Margot, just stop it, " Ellen scolded over her shoulder.

"What's she talking about?" Saul demanded.

"The thing is," Ellen started, "from what we've figured out we would be confident in the signal transmission if we had just one more cylon with us."

"Well now what?" Blaze asked adding fire to the kindling flames. "We can't sacrifice one from the surface mission. If both hemispheres aren't disabled it's pointless. Expecting either D'Anna or Margot to do both alone is crazy."

"I would try," D'Anna offered. "I can't say that the odds would be on my side but I would attempt it."

"We're all grateful for that D'Anna," Ellen said in thanks, "But it would be nearly impossible. If half the planet's bots are unharmed they are going to realize what happened ones who have been disabled. They'll never let you get to the second network hub. We just can't…"

"It was Caprica," Alexi announced, his words like a blunt punch.

" What?" Saul sharply bit at the sound of the woman's name.

"Caprica Six," The Sergeant repeated. "She's missing. Ellen just said she needed one more cylon. Caprica was the last cylon you needed. She would have completed it, made the signal strong enough. She's your missing part to all of this."

As Alexi's summation settled in over the group so did a heavy desperate air.

Katya leaned into her husband's side.

"I'm so sorry, malysh" She whispered.

It seemed as though he had been wrong after all. His birthmother was in fact meant to be there. Now not only would he never meet her but her absence would likely lead to their eventual demise.

"Damn it. He's right," Sam agreed. "Makes sense."

Ellen and Sharon were dismally silent.

"That is what we've concluded," D'Anna confirmed for them. "It would appear that our lost sister would be the missing link, so to speak."

"Figures," Alexi grumbled under his breath.

" Godsdamn it! " Saul shouted in the young man's direction. " Your so called father let those monsters into his lab! They blew her frakking body to shreds! She should be here! "

" Hey, back off! " Katya warned, stepping between her husband and her uncle's outburst.

" Saul! " Ellen berated.

"For frak sake, Saul," Sam piled on. "Like a lone scientist and his lab staff could have stopped half a dozen killer robots. It's no one's fault that she's not here. She's just not. That's that. Don't take it out on that kid."

" You can it, Anders ," Saul shouted back. "I wasn't taking it out on him. That's not what I meant," He backtracked, a little embarrassed over his regretful tirade. He hadn't meant to take out his anger on Alexi. It had just landed there. Saul knew the Sergeant was the last person he should have directed his anger toward. He'd snapped, overtaken by the news. Why did it have to be her? " Anyway, Anders, I'd think that you'd care a little more. You put just as much work into that model as I did. "

"Yeah, not quite," Sam quipped causing Saul's nostrils to flare in fury.

" Would you both stop it!? " Ellen pleaded.

"Well, just what the frak are we supposed to do now?!" Saul charged. "This is all pointless. The boy is right. She's missing. This isn't how it was suppose to be! "

Ellen winced as his voice rose.

"Saul, calm down for a damn second!"

" Why should I calm down, Ellen!? We're frakked aren't we!?"

" Well shouting isn't going to do any damn good! You're not the only one who's hurt by this, Saul. This affects the entire population! Or tell me, do you think that you should get special frakking sympathy because it's her !?! "

" Oh fuck me ," Katya groaned. "I knew it. Here we go with this shit again ."

" You can keep your comments to yourself, little girl ," Saul warned.

"Don't take this out on her, Saul!" Ellen shouted. "This has nothing to do with her! Stop yelling at these kids just because you don't know how else to react!"

"Can we all get back to the point here?" Bill tried to redirect but the accusations and insults kept flying.

Laura tried to block out the anxious angry shouting that surrounded her. Everyone was on edge, old tensions were resurfacing and their plan was at a standstill. Was all hope really lost? Despite all the facts Laura just wasn't sensing the once familiar feeling of hopelessness. Something was telling her that this wasn't the end of the line.

Closing her eyes she willed all of the voices in the room to fade into the background. Though she hated the terrifying vision she tried to think back to her nightmare. She pictured the flaxen haired Six floating in the resurrection tub. The beautiful cylon woman looked so angelic and peaceful. Beside her Baltar lay motionless in his own vat of goo; the strange pair never to be brought back again. The image was so clear in Laura's mind. It was almost as if the control room had dwindled away and only her dreamscape existed. It wasn't unlike her later visions back on Galactica when she would glitch in and out of the opera house, only this time she'd meant to do it. It was strange how much control she had over it now that she wasn't sick and dying, now that she was aware of what she really was.

Laura focused on the Six. She remembered asking the woman her name back in her cell on Galactica. She'd looked like a scantily clad deer caught in the headlights and then revealed that she was called Caprica. As she stood there in the cell Laura had to stop herself from letting out a bitter laugh. Caprica City had been her home. The cylon terrorist before her had destroyed it and then taken on its name as her own. Laura had hated her for it then but strangely the animosity had dissipated little by little as she’d neared the end of her life. Her hate for the woman turned into curiosity and then awkward fascination as they began to share visions. Laura still cringed when she recalled their last interaction. She'd been so desperate to make some sense out of their shared manifestation of the Opera House. She'd tracked Caprica down in the hallways of Galactica to interrogate her about her baby under the guise of offering congratulations. She'd asked her if her child was important. She'd been so callous despite her soft congenial tone. The look the expectant mother had given her in return could still make Laura's cheeks warm with shame.

"Yes. I think he's very important. He's my baby and I love him. He's very important to me," The Six had said with a protective hand over her middle.

Laura had immediately flinched in regret. The cylon's reaction had been so natural, so pure in the face of Laura's inhuman question.

"Of course he is…Of course," She'd stumbled apologetically. "All children are important."

The moment had shattered what was left of Laura's former view of the cylon race.

"Thank you for asking about him," Caprica had graciously offered.

She'd walked off with her precious baby inside who wouldn't live to take a single breath.

It had been a strange interaction. In the larger scheme of things it was totally insignificant and yet Laura wished that she could go back and change it; even more so now that she had a child of her own.

Not long after Sharon's resurrected she'd shared her theory with Laura about their mysterious connection to the Six. The three of them had an esoteric bond centered around Hera that could hardly be labeled but Sharon had lived on Earth to ponder it for many years. The explanation she gave Laura was that of an ancient symbol; the triple goddess. The maiden, the mother and the matriarch. Three women meant to symbolize one. It was the cycle of maternal life; be it natural or emblematic. Laura still didn't know if she bought Sharon's hypothesis but she knew that she wished Caprica was alive and with them now. Not just because they needed her but because she wished that the Six could see Alexi. She wished that the women could see that she'd finally had a son; one who'd lived to grow handsome and strong.

Laura wondered if the Six would laugh to know that their children were married. There was a sort of bizarre poetry to it. Caprica's reaction would be second only to Baltar's. Laura and Gaius had hated one another so fiercely and now their children were just as fiercely in love. She wondered what he would have said, had they resurrected, but the fact was that they hadn't. They were gone and only present in her dreams.

Laura clenched her eyes shut even tighter. The harder she squeezed them the more clear and vibrant her vision of the tubs became. Soon she could even hear the sounds of her dream. She heard the gunfire and explosions in the distance. She heard the ominous phantom rumbling below her feet. It was all so real. Suddenly she heard something else; a bubbling, gurgling noise that came from the tanks before her. Slowly the Six began to sink. She slid down into her tub little by little until she was gone, platinum locks and all. Soon her infamous mate did the same beside her and nothing was left of Gaius Baltar's lifeless form. It was a rare version of her dream but slowly Laura began to recall what was going to happen next. From the depths of the cylon fluid that had consumed the Six came some rippling waves. Laura peered into the tank and before her eyes a figure began to rise from the liquid abyss. It surfaced little by little until it occupied the same space the Six had just abandoned. It was the solid sturdy form of Alexi Petrov. Laura knew what would happen next. As she looked to the nearby tub that had swallowed Baltar another body slowly rose in his place; the tall and muscled frame of Blaze Bishop. The two hybrid boys lay unmoving side by side. Laura felt her heart start to pound in her chest. Was that it? Was that her answer? She tried to remember. Had the boys been in her dream where everyone was connected to the cables? They must have been. It all suddenly made sense. They were there. Caprica was gone; disappeared and taken useless Baltar with her. She wouldn't be returning but the two half cylon boys had taken her place.

"We don't need her, " Laura blurted in the midst of the Tigh feud.

As the words came out of her mouth her vision disappeared and she was back in the chaos of the control room.

"What? " Saul bit.

" We don't need her ," Laura repeated with wide eyes. "I saw it. We don't need Caprica."

"Says who?" Ellen challenged.

"Laura, I really think you're wrong," Sharon attempted. "We've tried to configure it a hundred different ways. We would need the abilities of another cylon. The unfortunate fact is that Alexi is right. We needed her."

Laura shook her head emphatically.

"You did . You did but now she's gone and fate has changed. Listen to me. She has a son . Sharon, so do you . Those boys are both half cylon," Laura said motioning in Blaze and Alexi's direction. "Together, if they could…"

"Oh no!" Saul said as soon as he understood where Laura was headed. If Margot's trip to the surface scared him, the boys handling a cylon virus was downright terrifying. He wasn't about risk the lives of three out of the four of them. Not after spending the last fifteen years looking after their welfare. "No! No way is that happening!"

"What?" Blaze spoke up. "No way is what happening?"

"If we could do what?" Alexi followed.

"I don't want to hear it!" Saul went on, "Ellen, you put a stop to his right now before it goes any further. Those boys are half human. They have no business being involved."

Ellen grimaced and put her palms on her heated cheeks.

"Involved in what?" Blaze continued to question. "We're right here. Can't you talk to us?"

" They have to, Saul ," Laura reiterated. " I've seen it . I've seen it in my visions. I didn't remember it until just now but these boys are here to help. Maybe this isn't the way that it was supposed to be at first but the possibility of Caprica's resurrection went out the door long ago. Maybe the way things were supposed to be changed after that. They are here to take Caprica's place. You have to let them."

"Who says that they even could," Saul disputed. "It's out of the question."

"It's our only chance," Laura bluntly countered.

"Saul," Ellen said in a tight and uncertain voice. "What if she's right?"

Her lack of outrage fueled his even more.

" Ellen, I can't believe you would hook our boys up to a live frakking cable and feed in a deadly virus knowing that they very well could become infected ."

"Maybe we can do it," Alexi shrugged. "If we're your only hope then you have to let us try."

"Saul…" Ellen began again. "I don't want them to be involved any more than I want Margot going down to the surface. I share your fear and your worry. You know I do but…what choice do we have? I have to trust Laura…"

"Damn it!" Saul shouted. "This is insanity!"

" Saul ," Bill barked at the Colonel, "You need to calm down for just a second. Pull yourself together for frak sake . Let's talk about this."

Bill looked toward Sharon. She was quiet and deep in thought. He'd sought her advice so many times before in the privacy of his quarters back on Galactica. Long ago she had become his unlikely confidante. He trusted her then because he had no choice. He trusted her now because he knew that he could.

"Athena?" He said, getting her attention. "Speak up. What do you think?"

"It…it's not ideal but…it could work, in theory. Alexi and Blaze each have one cylon parent making them true hybrids. If we were to split a cable and run it into each of them so that they were sending out one full strength transmission it's possible that their combined hybrid abilities could make up for Caprica's absence. Two halves in place of a whole," She shrugged.

"Listen," D'Anna chimed in, "I hate to burst your bubble but I'm not sure that two little halfling boys really add up to the strength of a full blooded cylon. At least not exactly."

"Maybe not," Sharon acknowledged. "But Laura is right. Alexi and Blaze are our only chance at getting this virus out into Orbit at any significant rate. We have to try."

Sam scratched his head as he tried to brainstorm.

"Okay, well, what if we switched it up,” He proposed. “What if the Sergeant and the LT go down to the surface and Margot stays here to transmit the virus into Orbit?"

Sharon shook her head emphatically.

"That would be a huge risk and not very efficient. Here at least we can tailor a splitter for them. Once inside the hub Margot is going to be taking a live bot cable and feeding it into her arm. Alexi and Blaze would have no time to engineer and test a bot cable to fit their unique circumstance once they were down there. We aren't sure what the bot hub really looks like inside so we can't send them with some kind of adaptor. What Margot and D'Anna are doing needs to be quick."

"Okay," Sam said determined not to give up. "Maybe we could have them do a test run with something less harmful," He Suggested. "A mock virus? For practice just to see if they could handle it."

Sharon shook her head again.

"I don't think that we're in the position to start experimenting on them, Sam," She cautioned. "We need them in the best health possible."

Sharon's words finally brought Helo's concerns to a peak. He'd been quiet through the commotion but now that his son's well-being was suddenly at stake he had to speak up.

"Sharon, if this is that dangerous how could you be on board?" He questioned, his expression clouded with concern.

Sharon turned to him palms out as if she had nothing left.

"Helo, what choice do we really have?"

"I can't believe this," The Colonel started in again.

"Saul…" Ellen tried but he just shouted over her.

" It's too frakkin' dangerous, Ellen! You said it yourself; the bots automatically send a copy of anything they receive back to the source as a means of defense and retaliation. What makes you think that Blaze and Alexi are strong enough to ward that off?"

"What makes you think we aren't? " Blaze contested.

"Stay out of this, LT ," Saul warned.

"Stay out of it?" Blaze scoffed. " It's my damn life. "

"And I'm trying to make sure you keep it !" Saul returned. "Ellen, what if they get infected? What if they get sick? Do we even have a cure for this thing?" He chastised.

"Oh a cure won't be necessary," D'Anna coolly corrected. "Odds are that they won't be alive to be saved if they don't successfully block the virus in enough time."

"What? " Katya said in alarm. "It can kill them?"

"That's that then," Saul proclaimed in attempt to shut down the debate. "They aren't doing it. We'll just have to try it with the four of us and hope for the best."

" NO! " Alexi's voice boomed through the room.

"You want to repeat that, Sergeant?" Saul dared.

He was angry and he was scared. He was trying to look out for these boys and they were fighting him tooth and nail. Didn't they understand that he couldn't bear to see them hurt? Their military service was different. This didn't feel right. It was all out war, it was dark and the possibilities horrified him.

When Saul had first found out about Alexi he promised himself that he would care for him until Caprica returned. When her body was destroyed along with all hopes of her resurrection he'd promised himself that he would love the boy in her absence. Even thinking of allowing Alexi to participate made Saul feel like he was breaking a promise he'd made in Caprica's honor.

"No, Sir," Alexi firmly said again. "I'm not letting you half ass this mission after all the time you've put into it. You and Ellen could have been resting in peace for ages. You've been waiting for this for how long? And now you're not willing to do what it takes?" Alexi narrowed his ice blue eyes that so perfectly matched his mother's and stared Saul right in the face. "She's not here. I am . Maybe fate did change. So let me take her place."

Saul's mouth hung open in an O but he remained silent.

"Me too," Blaze added. "We can do it, Colonel. Together, Lex and I can do it. I'm sure we can."

Saul looked at the both of them; Blazer who showed the loyalty and bravery of both Helo and Athena, Alexi whose eyes held all of Caprica's determination and hope. Apprehension churned within his gut like hot acid. He was going to lose this battle for their safety. He knew it. The least that he could do was let his boys step up like men.

He bowed his head and wordlessly relented.

"Lex?" Katya nervously whispered beside him.

"I want to do this, Yekaterina. Don't try and talk me out of it. You couldn't change my mind about this anymore than I could change yours about flying."

"Aunt Ellen?" Katya called, desperately looking up to her for some sign that it was okay.

"Sweetie, I don't know…I mean D'Anna could be right we just don't know for sure. This could have severe consequences," She admitted as she looked to the two young men in question. "Yes, you two are half cylon but your body chemistry is still very much human. I'm not really sure what the virus would do to a hybrid," She said trying to downplay D'Anna's bleak assumption. "But together…you should have the ability to make up for what's missing."

"You mean my mother," Alexi blankly corrected.

Ellen couldn't help but give him a small sad smile.

"Yes, Alexi. You should be able to take your mother's place…but you'll have to be strong…you'll have to fight. You'll have to work together with Blaze in perfect tandem."

"I don't like the sound of this," Katya stressed with fear in her eyes. "Maybe Uncle Saul is right."

"But this is our one chance , Katya," Margot defended on the boys' behalf.

"What about Laura and I? We have some cylon abilities," Katya considered. "Could we help? Make the signal stronger, maybe lessen some of the risk to the others?"

"No, baby, you can't," Ellen said, shaking her head. "I won't pretend to perfectly understand the cylon attributes that you and Laura possess but I know that's all that they are. You have no software, kitten. You can’t upload a virus anymore than you could send one out. It's brave of you to want to help but even if you could do it, strengthening the signal won't take away the individual risk that Blaze and Lex will face."

Katya shook her head in denial.

"There has to be some other way."

"Kitten, Laura has seen it," Ellen softly insisted. "We have no other options. You've trusted her to get us this far. We can't lose faith in her now because we don't like what she's saying."

"Kat…" Laura began.

"Damn it, Laura," Katya cut her off holding back tears of fear and frustration. "I feel like every time you open your mouth someone else I love is put in danger."

Laura flinched at the remark but tried not to take offence. She could see that her daughter was afraid. She wasn't going to back down. If she couldn't console her then she would help to guide her through the fear.

"Katya, sweetheart, you suffered for months to finally realize how we could get down to the surface. Don't let that all be in vain. This is their part to play," Laura restated. "You have to let them take their place if it's what they want to do."

"It is," Blaze attested. "We have to try. Look, if we fail those bastards are gunna come and destroy us all anyway. So why not let us go down fighting?”

Katya listened to her partner's reasoning. She had to admit that he made a sad sort of sense.

"Lex?"

She tearfully turned to her husband.

She was ready to accept whatever he chose but the fear she'd seen from her uncle was still quietly raging inside of her too.

Alexi looked down at her and brushed his thumb over her cheek.

"We have to fight for our future, myshka."

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR C

ORBIT PATROL TACTICAL ROOM

C DECK

YEAR: 2316

Once it was finally settled Ellen went to Kaplan with their last offer of action. It took the commander less than a day to get the go-ahead from government officials and his off-station counterparts. Not long after that Katya and her team came to him with a tactical plan of action it was approved with only minor alterations.

It was decided that in-Orbit conflict would be provoked by a small fleet of cylon raiders. During the calm of the morning the raiders would wait for an airbot fleet to do a standard security flyby near the atmosphere line. Once in range they would begin to fire at will. Orbit patrol ships would then come in as backup. As more Orbit Patrol ships joined the fight they would galvanize the need for more airbots to enter the station system and more provocation would occur. In theory the more activity they could incite within Orbit the less likely the bots would be to notice Husker and Helo's small shuttles crossing the atmosphere line.

The in-Orbit battle would have to be large, chaotic and would involve many casualties; a fact that made Katya sick to her stomach as she explained it during her tactical meeting.

"The bots are probably not monitoring the atmosphere line very closely since they have the signal barrier as protection. They don't believe that anything or anyone can get through. If the system combat is heavy enough Husker and Helo should be able to get down to the surface relatively unscathed. Both pilots will be flying shuttles with a cylon passenger and a small team of marines aboard. Once they are positioned over their respective hemispheres and in line with their targeted landing sights they will go in as close to the line as they can. They will each be escorted by a small squadron of raiders and patrol rockets on opposite sides of the planet. The close range flight should provoke an airbot response immediately. Our ships will engage in combat and Husker and Helo should appear to be just like any other Orbit Patrol pilots defending themselves. When the order comes over their com from the bridge they will each feign a deadly hit, careen their ships in the direction of earth and institute a controlled apparent freefall until they are well into the gravity field. Then they will steady themselves as they near the surface. If any airbots should catch on and attempt to follow them a member of the escort squad left in combat should go after the enemy as far as they can but remember, if you go too close to the barrier signal you're likely to actually lose control of your ship. We won't be sending help if that happens," She solemnly told the room.

"This is crazy," A Luna Patrol pilot commented. "Fighting that close to the line; one of us is bound to get caught up in that signal, lose control and die," He exasperatingly pointed out.

"Yes," Katya flatly agreed.

The pilot didn't respond any further so she continued.

"If Husker and Helo are able to touch down near their designated landing spots they will have enough cover to attend to their passengers who will all need time to recover from the effects of going through the bot signal during the atmosphere entrance."

Helo grimaced at the thought of flying around with half a dozen incapacitated bodies aboard.

"It's going to be like having a bunch of rag dolls in the cabin," He remarked.

He'd seen what Sharon went through when she felt the signal effects. Thanks to him and his wife the entire population of Earth humans had cylon heritage and would suffer when put close enough to the signal transmission. Any pilots caught up in the signal by the barrier would succumb to it because of what they had passed on. Margot, D'Anna and their minimal crew would all likely be either catatonic or suffering from severe vertigo for the entire landing process.

"Your marines should recover quickly having minimal cylon indicators," Katya reasoned. "Your teams will then need to get Margot and D'Anna on their feet and ready for the trek to the network transmitters. If Alpha Actual should lose contact with one or both of you please try and keep in contact with each other's ships. Your two teams won't be anywhere near each other so make sure and confirm that your touch down was a success in the event that we can't do it for you," She droned, forcing herself to go on and wishing that she was doing anything else. She’d recited and practiced the tactical explanation so many times over to herself  that now it was all coming out as if she were on auto pilot. She had to numb herself through parts of it in order to make it through. "If one shuttle team doesn't hear from the other they should assume that their counter team didn't make it and get ready to take on the charge of getting to both transmitters within their time on the surface. I shouldn't have to tell you all, that it would be an unlikely feat. Nevertheless, this is our only shot and we will take any and all measures to complete our mission no matter how improbable success may seem." Katya frowned and pinched the bridge of her nose as she looked at the notes on tablet. "Oh...all maps will be uploaded to your cuffs and…"

"After we land how long do I have to wait to head for the transmitter?" Margot interrupted.

Katya licked her lips. Her mouth was dry from nerves and the constant talking. She couldn't stop picturing the whole thing in her mind. Trying to numb herself to it wasn't working anymore. Especially when it came to Margot’s task.

"You can go when you feel up to it as long as your marines make sure that the coast is clear."

"Got it."

"You'll take two with you to travel and two will hang back with your pilot."

"Yeah," Blazer said in jest. "You two rocket jocks just hang back while the ladies do the dirty work."

His attempt to break the tension by teasing the seasoned colonial pilots was mostly ignored, only eliciting as small but nervous smile from Helo. Adama stayed stone faced, keeping his eyes on his daughter's place on the podium.

Katya cleared her throat. She wanted the rest of her briefing to come off lighter and more hopeful but she wasn't sure that she had it in her. In the end it came out as flat as the rest of it had been.

"If D'Anna and Margot are successful they should have a leisurely stroll back to their shuttles landing site with no bots around. If Ellen and her team are triumphant here in Orbit the return flight to the station should be a fucking joy ride."

"What if we don't hear from you, Captain?" Bill asked. "What if our com is down? We'll have no way of knowing if the virus was successful up here."

Katya nodded.

"You'll wait for signs that reentry is safe. If you don't see any airbots returning to the surface after a while, if you don't hear any sonic booms as they break the atmosphere then you'll eventually be able to tell that they're all dead in the air up here. Wait a few hours to be sure and then cautiously load up and take off."

Bill nodded in recognition and Katya looked back to the notes in front of her. She dismally drummed her fingertips on the podium.

"Let's see…what else…Oh, so you're all aware, the control room is being converted to a cylon transmission center. The bridge will be used as the command center for this space station until further notice...Anymore…questions…?"

"Yeah, I have a stupid question," Blaze said with an obnoxiously raised hand.

"As always," Katya stoically mocked.

"What if the virus fails? What if we incite combat for nothing? They are going to know what we tried to do. You better believe they won't relent after they figure it out. Then what?"

Katya swallowed and looked out over her fellow officers.

"Then we do what we always do; fight em til we can't."

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 161B: ASSIGNMENT; AGATHON

YEAR: 2316

At the end of the two weeks the day came when there were no more preparations to be done. Sam and Margot's team had completed their work converting the control room to their cylon transmission station. The loose cables lay ominously waiting for their flesh and bone receivers.

Duties usually carried out in the converted control room were now being relocated to the bridge. There, Cmdr. Kaplan and Katya would keep in constant contact with Husker and Helo as they attempted their fateful mission.

A short early morning briefing was to be held before Husker, Helo, Margot and D'Anna loaded up into their shuttles. Once they were aboard and the cylon team on Alpha had taken their places Kaplan would give Ellen the okay to send her raiders out to attempt provocation.

Sharon woke that morning long before Helo. Her eyes opened and she was sure that they wouldn't fall shut again to allow her another precious hour of sleep. She forced her body out of bed and began to busy herself with whatever she could.

Sharon was grateful that she and Blazer would be able to join Helo on the flight deck before he boarded for his mission. She was sending her husband into the perilous unknown and soon she would be watching as their son bravely attempted something almost as dangerous. She was glad that they would all have a moment to wish each other well as a family.

"Are you ready for this, Sharon?" Karl asked as he began to suit up.

Sharon had an air of determination about her. He'd been watching her diligently prepare for the day since the instant he woke.

Any moment left unoccupied allowed time for Sharon's mind to tailspin with worried apprehension. There was little that she could do to stop what was coming. She'd been milling around their cabin like a bee in a hive doing her best to push away any useless foreboding. Now Helo had raised the obvious question and there was nothing left to do but face it.

"I'm ready to do this for Blaze," Sharon answered decidedly. "We've lived our life already. As hard as it was, it was ours. We fought for our freedom, our happiness, and our family. We lived. We had our chance. If this is what needs to happen so that Blaze has the same opportunity then I'm ready. Hera was born into a war too but we got to see her live most of her life in peace. I want to see the same for our son. He deserves it," She said before bending down to lace her boot.

"You're right. He does," Her husband agreed. "Are you nervous?"

"Of course, Helo. Are you?"

Helo sat down to pull on his sock and sighed.

"I'm frakking terrified," He freely admitted. "But Blaze is a good instructor. And to be honest since we resurrected…I'm not sure I've felt as alive as I did behind the cockpit training these last two weeks."

Sharon looked up to see Helo smiling to himself. If nothing else she was glad that he had that time in training to bond with their son. She appreciated his optimism but his question had given her pause. Now every dark presage that she'd been warding off over the course of the morning came sweeping in like a sandstorm.

"What about the Old Man?" She questioned

Helo shrugged and stood from his chair.

"I think he's just as determined to get this done as I am. He has his daughter's future to fight for too. She's a good instructor. She's tough and a damn wise-ass but she knows her stuff. When we were out there running drills with her I swear it was almost eerie…It was like…" He trailed off as he absentmindedly scratched his head.

Sharon titled her head.

"Like what, Helo?"

"It was like I was hearing Starbuck in my ears all over again," He answered with a thoughtful smirk. "Sometimes I almost felt like I was back flying for Galactica with the Cap cracking jokes over the com." Helo paused for a moment trying to recall Starbuck's voice. Suddenly he couldn't remember it. Katya's had taken over in his mind and now it was all he could remember. "Anyway," He said with a shake of his head, "She worked with Adama just as much as Blaze worked with me. He can do it."

Sharon hated to admit it but she wasn't convinced. She bit her lip in thought for a moment before speaking again.

"Helo, I want you to escort D'Anna down to the surface," She said as if it was a direct order.

Athena wasn't Helo's superior officer nor was she in charge of the mission but whatever her reason was for the instruction he trusted her.

"Okay…I'm not sure it's scheduled that way but I'm sure we can arrange it," He said with a curious scowl. "But why shouldn't I take Margot?"

Sharon shook her head.

"Let Adama take her. If something should happen to the Old Man's bird…if he doesn't make it for some reason we might still have a fraction of a shot if you can get D'Anna down there. She has more experience. She's cut-throat. She's lived and battled before. More importantly she's not afraid to frakking die," Sharon explained firmly. "If D'Anna gets one hemisphere done you can at least chance taking her to attempt the second if the other team fails. Margot's brilliant but she's a kid. She's never been in combat. I trust her to do her part if things go as planned but if she should fail I know that D'Anna is at least capable of trying to finish the job. She just needs time."

"I'll do my best," Helo said with a nod." The Admiral will make it though, Sharon. I know he will."

Sharon sighed and rubbed at her temples.

"I hope you're right."

"Trust me."

It wasn't that Sharon lacked confidence in Adama. There was just something in her gut that was suddenly giving her an uneasy feeling about the Admiral's flight team. She'd learned long ago not to ignore her gut feelings.

"I know that I told you I was ready to do this for Blaze…and I am but…something dark is coming, Helo. I can feel it. I can feel it lurking out there, waiting."

Helo frowned and his heart sunk as Sharon's familiar words echoed in his ears.

"Sharon…"

"I know any number of things could happen. If you didn't make it back this life would be so much harder to live."

Helo shook his head.

"We can't think like that, Sharon. You and I have been through worse. We can do this. And if something should happen to me I want you to remember that we will be together again eventually."

"Helo, knowing that there is life after death doesn't make death or dying any less painful. I would miss you so much."

Sharon's eyes watered and Helo immediately went to her, encircling her in his protective arms.

"But I would want you to stay here, Sharon. I would want you to live and spend as much of Blaze's life with him as you could. He's a lonely kid and he deserves a family even if it's only you that's left."

Sharon bowed her head.

"This is all for him."

She said the words like a mantra meant to center the mind.

"We would do the same for Hera," Helo added. Sharon began to quake against his chest and he held her tighter. "You don't think the Admiral can make it down there, do you?"

He was getting the feeling that Sharon seemed to think that Margot and the Old Man were weak links in the plan.

"No. No it's not that," She insisted, letting go of him and taking a few steps back. Though her gut was nagging her about Margot and Adama her worries had momentarily moved on to other concerns. "Actually, I was just thinking about Blaze connecting to the stream. That scares me more than anything else. We are doing this all for him but having him send that virus out…" She couldn't finish before her voice cracked.

Helo lowered his brow and his hands involuntarily went to his sides and clutched into fists. He'd hated the idea from the start.

Saul Tigh's fear over the plan had told him enough. The Colonel had eventually experienced a change of perspective but Helo was starting to think Saul's initial reaction had been the right one after all.

"It's frakking dangerous . I knew it was worse than you all were letting on. Damn it, Sharon. Can't you do it without endangering those boys? Is the risk really necessary?"

Sharon put her palm over her eyes and shook her head.

"We need them, Karl. We've gone over this. We need the strength of another full humanoid cylon. We are missing Caprica. With the boys combined hybrid ability we might just be able to pull this off. I'm scared too but in the end it was their choice. We aren't forcing them. Blaze and Alexi want to fight for their freedom as much as we want to fight for them. We have to let them do this."

Sharon was aware that she was rationalizing through her fear but there was little else that she could do. They were out of options. All that they could do was force themselves to think optimistically.

"They're strong kids," Helo said, trying to convince them both.

"Yeah," Sharon agreed. "They are."

Helo let out a long breath.

"We should get going."

"Keep your eyes open out there, Helo. It's going to be hell."

"I will," He promised. "At the end of the day, I guess it's just time to see what fate has in store for us this time around."

Sharon fastened the last button on her tunic.

"So say we all."

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 126B: ASSIGNMENT; ROSLIN/ADAMA

YEAR: 2316

Laura ran a towel through her hair as she watched Bill dry off with another. Instead of changing the sheets of the rack as planned she lazily sat upon its edge in thought. She and Bill had left the rumpled and overheated state of their bed for the refreshing spray of a cool shower. Their endeavor had turned out to be quite ineffectual as their soapy hands got carried away and soon their body heat nullified any briskness of the water around them. Now instead of cool and refreshed Laura's body felt damp, satisfied and sleepy. Her mind however was not as satiated.

"I know that this sounds incredibly selfish but I don't want you to go," She said, tossing her towel over a nearby chair and letting her hair fall in damp waves on her shoulders.

"It's not selfish to be afraid, Laura," Bill said as he tied his towel around his waist. "It's just human."

Laura frowned. She was supposed to be slightly more than human but no cylon attributes would help her now. The projection, the extra sensory perception, it all meant nothing when it came to fear and worry.

"You know, when Katya first told me that you were meant to go down there I was almost angry at her for figuring it out. I wanted her to be wrong," She admitted. "I know that she's right though. I feel it."

Bill nodded and pulled a fresh undershirt out of the dresser.

"That's why I have to go, Laura. I'm trusting the two of you. I learned a long time ago to put my trust in your intuition. And now I trust our daughter's too. She has her mother's sixth sense so-to-speak."

He smiled and began to dress as Laura stared into space.

"I remember my life back on Caprica well," She told him after beat. Her eyes went unfocused as she looked toward a blank space on the wall. "Do you know what I remember most of all?"

"Hm?" Bill replied pulling up his slacks.

"Just wanting to be alone," Laura answered. She leaned back on her elbows and looked up at the light over the rack. "I chose friends who wouldn't get too close. For years I purposefully stayed in a relationship that could never grow."

Bill took his boots and sat next to her on the bed. He started lacing his shoes while she went on.

"After my family died I just wanted to be by myself. I didn't want to love anyone anymore. I didn't want to love ever again." Laura sat up to face Bill and looked into his eyes. "But that changed when you came along. You changed that for me before I died,” She told him as he listened, attentive as ever. "And now in this life with Katya, oh gods, I didn't think that I could ever feel love like this. I surely didn't want to. It's exactly the kind of love that I was so afraid of. I didn't want the godsdamn mess of feelings that I knew would come along with it. I always knew that it would be frakking exhausting, and heart wrenching, and way too powerful but…most of all I didn't want to find it just to lose it," She said as her voice cracked. "I spent so much time wanting to be alone and now here…now I just want you to come back so I can keep loving you and Kat both for as long as possible; mess and all."

Bill smiled and leaned in to place a kiss on her forehead.

"I know, Laura."

She shook her head and her throat tightened.

"I still haven't even told her."

Bill frowned.

"Told her what?"

When Laura didn't answer he guessed.

"You haven't told her that you love her."

She nodded and her shame became obvious as her cheeks turned pink.

Bill knew how hard the words were for Laura to say. He wished that he could change it for her and take away her apprehensions but he couldn't. He'd accepted that it was part of her nature but he had never fully understood it. He just couldn't relate, especially not when it came to his children.

"You still hardly say it to me," He noted.

"I know."

Her cheeks reddened deeper and she looked down to her lap.

"I don't want to pressure you, Laura…and I don't mean to make you feel guilty but…we are all in a very dangerous situation. Time is precious…I know they're only words…but I really think that it's important for Kat to understand how you feel. She's not one to take hints or read between the lines. You have to be blunt with that girl…always have," Bill added.

"Hm?"

Bill paused when he realized what he'd said.

"Nothing," He backtracked. "I just mean maybe it's time to do it for her no matter how it makes you feel. That's a lot of what being a parent amounts to."

Laura didn't reply and it made Bill feel a little guilty for his statement.

"Laura, I'll do everything I can to make it back to you two," He pledged. "But I have to say, knowing that you have her, if anything should happen to me…well it just makes it a lot easier to leave."

Laura's eyes watered at the thought.

"Bill, you have to come back. Come back for me, come back for her. You're her hero. From what I can tell you have been her whole life. She needs you. I need you. We both do."

"I'll come back for the both of you," He tried to reassure, but Laura was caught in the winds of her worries.

"Gods, Bill, if it wasn't for you I don't think that Kat and I would even be speaking. We've made a lot of progress but it's still so damn hard for us. I need you here to tell me when I'm doing the right things…to tell me that I'm not totally screwing up with her."

"Laura, the relationship that you have with your daughter does not depend on me," Bill said firmly. "It never has."

She knew that he was partially right but he had been in her corner since day one. He had helped her accept Katya's existence. He'd helped her reach out to their child and reminded her to be patient and understanding. He boosted her confidence when she had none. He showed her what it meant to be a parent. She didn't know if she could keep it up without him. She didn't have the faintest idea of what she would do if he wasn't with her. She did have Katya now but they were hardly close. The girl was a Tigh and still very much bound to that family unit. Without Bill around Laura knew that she would go back to feeling like an outsider in Kat's life. Bill was her rock, her better half, her lover and companion and for thousands of years on the other side he had been her eternal soulmate. Now in a brand new life he was the father of her child and she felt more connected to him than ever. Even the thought of letting him go was crushing.

"I don't know if I can live without you," She told him with a hitch in her breath.

Bill gave her a sad little smirk. He remembered telling Lee that he couldn't live without Laura.

She could make it without him, though. She was stronger than he had ever been.

"You can," He insisted. "I'm sure of it."

"Bill, you don't understand," Laura protested.

"Don't I?"

She shook her head and her eyes brimmed with fresh tears.

"You remember how I was after we resurrected. You remember the state of mind I was in."

"I remember," He grimly confirmed.

He was so glad to be past it. He was so grateful that it was behind them now.

"It was awful," Laura recalled. "I was so miserable…so desperate…but then finding out about Katya changed things. It helped me out of that aimless darkness. She saved me. She made me want to live. She did…but you know, Bill, even so…I only traded one kind of depression for another," She confessed. "And I know deep down that this sadness that I feel isn't ever going away. It will be with me no matter what because the day I found out about our daughter was the day I found out all that I missed. I know now what was stolen from me and I wake up every morning and grieve for it over and over. Even if Katya and I were to form the best of relationships it could never make up for what we lost together. I can't look at her without being devastated all over again that I didn't hold my own baby, that I didn't tuck my little girl in at night. I'll have to live with it always. There is no changing it. There is no getting over it or making up for it. Nothing will bring that time back. I have to bear that pain every day, forever and Bill…I don't know if I could keep doing it without you because you're the only one who understands how it hurts ."

Bill's jaw tightened. He had underestimated the depth of her loss. Part of him had hoped that spending time with Katya would ease her heartache but Laura was right. The present didn't make up for the missing past. He had no consolation for her. He had nothing to ease her unique torment.

"I wish that I could tell you that one day the pain was going to stop."

Laura hummed a listless acknowledgment.

For a while the air was thick and heavy around them.

"Seeing Katya happy," Bill thought aloud after the long pause, "I think that would help me the most. Seeing her enjoy a long healthy life, that might be the only thing that could make it better," He proposed.

Laura picked her head up from his shoulder.

"Katya is not a very happy girl, Bill," She reminded.

"No, no she's not," He agreed with a huff.

Laura shrugged.

"I want to see her happy too. I just don't think even that could ease the loss that I feel." Laura had come to terms with her sadness. She had accepted it. The only thing left for her to do was live with it. "When I found out about Kat it was like she was given to me and taken from me at the very same time. I can't explain in words how much it hurt and it hasn't gotten any better. The more I know and love her, the more all that missing time tears me apart inside. I wish more and more each day that we had gotten the chance to raise our little girl together." Bill put his hand on Laura's knee and gave it a squeeze as she continued. "Katya and I can learn to be friends, we can even grow to be family, gods willing, but nothing is ever going to put my baby back in my arms." Laura stopped and swallowed hard as her tears went from drops to streams. "Bill, it kills me sometimes. I don't think you realize how much I depend on you to lift me up. I don't know what would happen if you weren't here with me."

Bill pulled her into his arms and held her tightly.

"But I'm coming back, Laura. I waited for you once when the odds seemed stacked against you ever returning to me. You showed up. You blinked back into existence and back into my life. You came back. I will too. It's just your turn to wait this time."

She thought of him all alone in that raptor with nothing but his books and his hope. He'd hung in the void of space and waited for her.

"My turn," She wistfully repeated.

Bill watched the fear that clouded her eyes like a nautical storm. He knew that he wasn't making her feel much better. He leaned back and gently tilted her head up with his index finger so that she was looking into his eyes.

"Laura, if this all works that means the people up here are going to be able to move down to the surface."

"That's the hope," She said with a sigh.

"Laura, I want to make you a promise," He told her as he took her hands in his and laced their fingers.

"Hm?"

"You still remember that cabin you wanted on New Caprica."

Bill made it a statement rather than a question.

"Yes."

She tried to smile at the old memory and failed.

"When you were dying I told you that I was going to build it for you," Bill said as he thought back to their final ride together in his raptor. He could still picture the pallor of her skin as she took her last breath beside him. Now she was vibrant and well. He had the sudden urge to touch her so he thumbed at her cheek, so happy to see the pink healthy hue it had now. With his other hand he felt her finger, bare of his ring but warm and alive. "You know that I didn't build it. I didn't keep my word. I gave up and waited to die so that I could be with you. I didn't do what I said I would. Now…now I will. If this plan works and we can finally live down on Earth then I'm going to build you that cabin. I'm going to find the perfect spot by a crystal clear lake. It'll be the kind of place Kat and Alexi want to visit all the time. They'll come over to swim and we'll have cookouts and family dinners with the Tighs. You and I will make it our home, grow old there together," Bill said with a warm grin as if he had it all planned out. He was disappointed that Laura's return smile wasn't as bright as he'd hoped. She was too worried to be hopeful. "I can't give you back what we missed with Kat. But we can live a life that we never got a chance to, Laura. This time we will get our happy ending. I promise you that."

Laura was quiet as she looked down at their joined hands. She was afraid to look into his eyes. She was afraid that she would start to cry even harder and she so badly wanted to stop. All these tears weren't like her. She'd already made it hard enough for him to leave. She needed to compose herself for him but when he touched the base of her chin and leaned in for a kiss her eyes welled up yet again before his lips even touched hers.

"I do promise, Laura. We'll start making plans for it. Blueprints, sketches…just as soon as I come back."

Laura held back her tears. Finally she mustered up the will to smile and gave him a nod.

"I'll be waiting."

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 119B: ASSIGNMENT; TIGH

YEAR: 2316

Saul and Ellen hardly slept. At first it was their nerves keeping them awake. The anxiety and anticipation for the events ahead was far too great. The hours had ticked by. At one point during the night they'd decided that as long as they weren't going to get any sleep they may as well comfort each other in the best way they knew how. They spent the rest of the early morning making love. They knew that eventually they would have to leave the tiny haven of their bed to face the rest of the world and the work at hand but for a brief time their rack had served as their little escape where nothing and no one existed but them. Ellen was the first to rise leaving a warm spot where her body had been. Saul rolled into it to feel the heat of her skin that still lingered behind on the sheets. He admired her as she walked to their dresser in the nude.

She stopped and gazed at the mirror above the chest of drawers.

"I can't believe we're about to do this," She said as she looked at her reflection.

Once the sheets had cooled and there was no further sense of Ellen's body left to cozy up to Saul rolled out of bed. He reached for his boxers on the floor and pulled them on.

"But this is it," He said looking at her bare back. Her image made him take a slight pause. The soft golden cabin lights in their room reflected off of her skin and made her look like she was made of glowing amber. Saul was still so in love with the sight of her. "This is what we've been waiting for," He told her gently. "This was the goal all along. We've spent thousands of years here, Ellen, and this is why."

He knew that she understood it better than anyone. Hell, he had a harder time coming to terms with it than she had. He just didn't know what else to do but remind her over and over again. He was mostly reassuring himself.

He watched her as she stared blankly into the mirror and started absentmindedly playing with one of her silken honey curls.

"I know that, Saul. Believe me I know. It's just strange. It's another lifetime where we've spent thousands of years devoted to saving another civilization. And now we are at the end again."

Saul let out a long stream of air through his nose and rubbed at the scruff on his chin.

"It'll be the last time, Ellen," He said firmly. "If that's what you're worried about. We aren't destined to keep saving the collective universe. I'm done after this. You are too."

He sounded so convincing.

"It's not that," She responded softly.

The smallness of her voice made Saul go to her. He put his still warm hands on her still bare shoulders.

"It's scary. I know, Ellen. But we can and will get through this."

Ellen almost laughed. He'd been beside himself with fear and anxiety just days ago. Now that he'd come to terms with reality it was her turn to be scared and scared was an understatement. Terrified was more like it. It was a fear which she had felt a few times before but this time it was so much worse. This time they had more at stake, more to lose.

"I don't know, Saul," She sighed and turned to face him. "I guess it's just that this life gave us something so unexpected. We stayed because we felt like it was our duty. We never dreamed thatwe would find Kat and fall in love with her. I certainly never dreamed that out of all the lives we lived and all the places we lived that I would be happiest here; on a space station in the middle of a centuries-long war. But I have been. So very happy. Our life here with Kat and the rest of the kids has been such a blessing. Our family is so precious to me. I guess I'm just scared that this could be the end of it; the end of our happiness. The end of the family I always wanted."

Saul watched his wife's eyes water. He took her by the shoulders and held her firmly.

"But it isn't. Listen to me, Ellen. I know I went of the handle last week about Margot and the boys but I was wrong to doubt them. They don't need my doubt. They need my encouragement. I've never done any good by stomping these kids down to the ground. They've always done best when I've given them an inch to let them grow. Bill showed me that a long time ago but I didn't realize it until it was my turn to do it myself. They'll be okay, Ellen. I have to believe that."

"You do?"

"Yeah…I do. It took me a little while, and I'm still nervous but I do. And as far as you and I go, well sure our goal will have been met if we succeed in this. That part will be thankfully done and over with but we aren't going anywhere any time soon. Kat still needs us. All the kids do. I mean, I love em', Ellen but they sure can be a bunch of boneheads," He attempted to tease with a chuckle. Her smile in response was fleeting. "What I mean is they're still so young. They have their whole lives ahead of them. And if we succeed we will get to watch them live good lives. Lives without war. That will be our reward."

"And what if none of us survive this?"

Saul almost cringed but he forced himself to appear unfazed.

"Then we will all be together elsewhere, in another place and another form. We will still be together. At least I like to believe so. Love outlasts death, Ellen. You know that."

"You're right, Saul. I know you are. I just can't shake this feeling," She shrugged as a tiny tear escaped the corner of her eye.

Saul pulled her closer to his chest and kissed the top of her head.

"It's because we've seen the end too many times. We are always waiting for it to happen. This isn't it. This isn't the end. It's a new beginning. We're going to make sure of it."

"I hope you're right," She whispered.

"I'm sorry that I wasn't supportive at the start but things are falling into place," Saul began to rationalize. "It's all happening like you said it would all those eons ago. Laura finally came through. Even our kitten had a hand in it. I never would have imagined that but she did," Saul mused. "This is going to work," He insisted, leaning back and looking into Ellen's wet eyes with assuredness.

Ellen nodded in hesitant agreement.

"We have to make sure it does," She stated. "For Kat. She has most of her life still yet to live."

She moved past Saul and back to the bedside to collect her robe. She slipped it on and then faced him once again.

"You know, Saul sometimes I can't even comprehend all that we've done together. How many places and lives we lived, all the things we've done."

"I know the feeling," He smirked.

"It can be overwhelming to think of," She continued, "But then I think of our life here on Alpha Station over the last fifteen years and it makes the rest feel like it doesn't matter at all. I'd do it all again to raise Katya with you. I really would but…still sometimes…" She trailed off.

"But sometimes what?"

"Sometimes I can't help but think of the past."

Saul looked down to the floor.

"Yeah," He said in a low unsure voice.

Ellen walked closer to him and looked him right in his eye.

"Saul, if you could do it over again," She posed. "One lifetime, one perfect existence what would it be?"

He scowled and shook his head.

"I wouldn't want another. I wouldn't want anything but to be with you. It's just like you said; I would do everything over again to be with you."

Ellen shook her head. She was eager for a real answer.

"But what if you had to choose your ideal?"

Saul shrugged.

"I wish we had treated each other better. I wish it hadn't taken so long for us to figure out how to do that," He admitted.

Ellen narrowed her eyes.

"What about Earth?" She challenged. "Not here. Our Earth. It was our first home, our first life. Don't you ever think back to what you wanted back then? Don't you ever wish it had all worked out? If our society hadn't crumbled around us?"

"Life wasn't perfect there, Ellen," He said as if he was using the words as a road block. "Even without the damn apocalypse."

"I know that. I know it. But don't you remember? We had hopes and aspirations when we were first married. We knew exactly what we wanted our life to be. We tried so hard to make it happen. Don't you ever wish that it had all worked out? I know you remember, Saul."

For a moment he almost considered not answering her but seeing the look in her eyes he couldn't help it. He thought of her back on their Earth when they first met. She was young and brilliant and full of hope. That was why he first fell in love with her.

"We wanted successful careers," He started. "We wanted to make a difference. I remember that." He paused for a moment before deciding to go on. "And…we wanted a home. We wanted a son. Wanted to raise him well and then grow old together. I remember, Ellen."

Ellen let a few gentle tears fall free.

"I remember too," She said with a knowing smile and a sniff. "Don't you ever wish it had all gone as planned?"

Saul took a deep breath.

"But it didn't. Wasn't meant to be."

Ellen shook her head and put her palms on his chest.

"What about the son you would have had with Caprica? Do you ever think of him? Do you ever think of Liam?"

Saul's heart dropped. He thought of him every day. He thought of him before he went to bed at night and every morning when he woke up. He thought of him every single time he laid his old tired eye on Alexi.

"I try not to," He lied. "It's better not to linger on what never was."

Ellen shook her head.

"I still think of Daniel all the time," She admitted. When she said her lost Seven's name her heart clenched. She'd made him perfect; everything that she would have wanted in a son that never was. He was too perfect, a fantasy really. And when John decided that she loved Daniel too much he destroyed him. The thought was still painful but she never tried to push it away. "I still miss him, Saul. My poor Daniel, my lucky seven."

"That was different, Ellen. Besides you're just torturing yourself."

"I don't agree. I can't forget. I don't want to. He was mine. I loved him. I think of life back on Earth too. That dream we had back then was so important to me, to us both. Even though my next lives gave me the experience of loving a child through Daniel and then Katya, I won't ever forget the thought of the baby that we never had. It didn't exist but it was something we both hoped for. I accepted a long, long time ago that nothing was ever going to put that baby in my arms…but I still remember that hope. And that's a nice memory for me. Not the disappointment that it didn't happen but the feeling of hope from back when we still thought it was all possible."

Saul held his wife firmly. She still amazed him.

"You're a good woman, Ellen Tigh. Better than I've deserved in any lifetime," He told her as he tightened their embrace.

Ellen sighed as she burrowed into the crook of his neck.

"You know, seeing Kat live a long healthy life in a peaceful world will make every sacrifice I’ve ever made worth it," She said before resting her lips on his shoulder.

"You're right about that," He mumbled, enjoying the feeling of Ellen's nuzzling. "So you're right. We have to give this everything we've got. If not for the blasted responsibility of this civilization then for her, for our kitten."

They knew that they would both give up anything for her. They loved her that much.

"Ellen, did I ever tell you how glad I am that I married you," Saul asked for about the ten thousandth time.

"Not once," She answered as usual.

"Then I'll save it for a special occasion," He jested with his regular wit.

Ellen hummed pleasantly at the playful old banter.

"C'mon, Ellen. We have work to do."

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 139B: ASSIGNMENT; ISAKOFF/PETROV

YEAR: 2316

"Blaze?" Katya called as she walked out of her bedroom.

She was already in full uniform. Alexi was in the head showering. Their collective anxiety had woken them before the alarms on their cuffs had the chance to go off. Sleep had been minimal. After a trip to the lab to visit the twins with Margot and Blazer the four returned to Katya and Alexi's cabin. They stayed up talking well into the night. With uncertainty looming the company was comforting. Blaze stayed put, not wanting to be alone while Margot left for the more intimate comfort of Sydra's rack.

"Blazer, it's time to wake up."

"Never went to sleep, Koshka," He mumbled from where he lay on the couch.

Katya walked over and sat on the edge of the coffee table.

"Blaze, you needed that sleep. You and Lex need all the strength that you can muster today."

"I couldn't. I just…I couldn't."

"You could have asked for more pillows or…"

"No…no, Cap," He said through a yawn as he stretched his muscled arms over his head. "That's not it. I was plenty comfortable. Hell, I've slept on this couch more times than I can count; pillow, no pillow, drunk off my ass and half hanging off. I wouldn't have slept last night if I was nestled in a fluffy fucking cloud and swaddled in a magic silken blankie. I just couldn't. I'm…I'm…"

"I know, Blaze."

"Yeah," He said as he sat up and looked down into his lap.

"Blazer," Katya began, "you two don't have to do thi…"

"Katya, yes we do," He cut her off. "You know that we do. You're just saying that because you think you have to. You know we're gunna to do it anyway."

Katya turned away and looked into a dark corner of the room.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

"I'm glad you'll both be close," She reasoned. "I wish Margot would change her mind, send Sam down in her place."

"She won't," Blaze said with a shake of his head. "We wasted our breath last night trying to convince her. She's being stubborn."

Katya raised her brow.

"It's because her mother is going."

"I think she just wants to prove that she can do it," Blaze countered. "Like she said, it's her virus. It's her work; as an engineer, as a soldier, heck, even as a cylon."

Katya shook her head.

"She's following her mom."

"How do you figure?" Blaze said as he rubbed at his sleep deprived eyes. "She hates, D'Anna."

"Because," Katya shrugged, "She's her mother; love, hate or a little of both. None of that matters to her."

"How do you know?"

Katya looked away from her friend and over at the wall. There in the shadows atop a small shelf was her matryoshka nesting doll. She thought of its missing piece, its smallest inner part. She'd given it to Laura months ago as a gift back when she couldn't stand her anymore than Margot could tolerate D'Anna now. The gift of the doll was a token, an acknowledgment of a bond that they both knew they had but that they couldn't yet define. It had been a promise to go forward no matter how afraid they each were. Katya wondered if Laura still had the little toy. Something told her that she probably did, the same way Ellen kept her old ballet slippers and baby teeth.

"I know it, Blaze," Katya sighed. "I know because I'd follow my mother too."

Blazer smirked and gave her an amused snort.

"Which one?"

"Both," Katya answered without missing a beat.

It was sincere but it made Blaze chuckle.

"Mmm," He hummed with a shrug. "Maybe you're right."

Katya began to chew nervously at her thumbnail.

"I just wish you three didn't have to do any of this, Blazer," She said over the nail in her teeth. "I feel so guilty."

"Guilty?" Blaze scowled. "Why?"

"All three of you are risking so much. I'll be tucked away on the bridge with the commander."

"We're all risking everything, Koshka. The entire space station may very well be blown out of Orbit. We are all in this together."

"I know but you'll be actively putting yourself in danger. Margot will be down on the ground surrounded by bots. I just feel like when it's one of us it might as well be the four of us…ya know?"

"Yeah…I know."

Katya looked up from her lap and focused on Blazer's warm brown eyes. He was so deserving of love, of a future filled with happiness. She hoped like hell that what he was about to do would bring him the chance.

"I love you, Blaze. You know that, right?"

He smiled at her. His eyes became brighter with his grin.

"Of course," He told her.

He leaned over and placed a chaste kiss atop a salty tear as it ran down her cheek.

"Head's free," Alexi announced as he entered the room.

"Get any sleep, brother?" Blaze asked over his shoulder.

Katya leaned back and quickly wiped at her tears with her sleeve.

"None that'll make a difference," Alexi mumbled as he went to the kitchen cooler to retrieve a bottle of water. "There's fruit in the bowl," He gestured to the table. "Everyone should eat."

Katya's empty stomach rolled but Blaze put his hands up as if he were ready to catch something. She flinched when Alexi threw a plum in their direction. Blazer caught it inches from her face.

"Sorry, myshka."

Katya rolled her eyes, ignoring their usual antics. Somehow their normal idiocy was actually comforting.

"Hey, I was thinking," She began. "Maybe Tawny can give you two something. Something that will give you both a little extra edge. Something to make you more alert. I bet she'd do it if you asked."

Alexi chuckled under his breath at her suggestion.

"You want us pumped full of uppers while we are trying to send out and then block a deadly virus before it ricochets back at us?" He scoffed and gulped back some water.

Katya frowned and huffed.

"I don't know," She shrugged.

"We'll be okay, myshka," Alexi told her as he leaned against the kitchen counter. "Athena and Ellen went over every possible scenario with us ten times over. They've coached us to death on how to handle this thing. We can do it. Besides, Ellen wouldn't let us do anything that she really thought was that dangerous. She just wouldn't," He added before grabbing an apple and taking a huge bite.

A knock sounded at the hatch and Katya rose to get it.

"You really think that's true, Lex?" Katya heard Blaze ask as she opened the door.

She didn't catch Alexi's apple filled answer.

"Hey," Margot dully greeted with a sniff.

Her eyes were red and her cheeks were flushed pink. Without a word Katya reached out for her hand, gave it a squeeze and gently pulled her into the cabin.

"You just say goodbye to Sydra?" Alexi assumed upon seeing Margot's dismal state.

"Not goodbye, Lex," Katya firmly corrected. "So long."

When the four of them had left the Estuary the previous night it had been so hard to go. They all decided that goodbye sounded far too final. Though the fragile tiny beings could hardly hear them, let alone understand, they each bid the twins so long, promising that everything would be alright.

"She knows what I mean," Alexi defended with a roll of his eyes.

Katya sat the sniffling girl down at the kitchen table. Alexi promptly offered her a cool bottle of water and a look of apology. Margot accepted both.

"We didn't say either," She told them before taking a long sip. "She'll be on the deck to see me off. It was just hard to leave this morning."

"It'll be okay, Margot," Katya attempted. "You can trust in Husker to get you down there and back. I know it. He may look like an old timer but he's still got it. I'll be on the bridge watching your flight path the entire time."

Margot nodded and took another swig of water.

"Yeah," Blaze agreed. "And Syd will be waiting for you when you get back, Margot. Think of the fun reunion night," He teased with a wink.

Margot bit her lip and finally looked up from the tabletop.

"When I get back I'm going to ask her to marry me," She announced with confidence.

" Really ?" Kat responded in surprise.

"Alright!" Blazer cheered and stood from his seat on the sofa. "That's great! Best news I've heard in a long damn time."

"I don't want to waste anymore time," She affirmed. "We love each other, plus we could both use the housing. This whole thing has put a lot in perspective for me. I only want to be loved by people who want to love me…and that's Sydra."

Her companions couldn't find fault in her reasoning. In some way the precept rang true for all of them.

"I'm happy for you, Margot," Alexi told her. "Pozdravlyenyia. We will have a lot to celebrate when this is all over. The family sure is growing."

She nodded in agreement and thanks but cast her grey worried eyes back down to the table top.

"C'mon, Margot," Blaze drawled as he walked into the kitchen to throw away his plum pit. "Think positive."

"You're as worried as I am, Blazer."

"Oh Yeah?" He said as he tossed the pit in the compost compactor. "How do you know that?"

"I don't know it," Margot corrected. "I feel it. And not cause I read you or any other super cylon trick. I just do. We all came into this world together, Blaze. When one hurts we all feel it. When one is afraid the rest can't help but sense that fear together. I shouldn't have to tell you that."

Blaze's smile faded.

"Right."

Quiet took over and for a while they all pondered Margot's words.

"You know, I've been thinking…"Alexi said, finally breaking the silence. "Margot, you always say that we were born to serve. Well we failed at our originally intended service. We've spent most of our damn lives trying to compensate. So maybe this is our chance to actually make up for it."

"Why should we have to make up for anything ?" Margot countered. "We didn't ask to be born."

Katya shrugged.

"It's a chance to make sense out of why we're here," She posed.

It was something all four of them deeply longed for and the uneasy hush took over once again as they each absorbed the notion.

"I'm goin' to the head," Blaze finally muttered.

Alexi cleared his throat and tossed away his apple core.

"Shower fast," He instructed. "We have to stop at the Tighs before we meet up with the others."

Blaze sighed heavily before making his way to the bedroom.

"Whatever way I can be of service ," He muttered before disappearing inside.

After a brief hesitation Alexi followed him leaving Margot and Katya behind.

"Blaze?" He called, stopping the other young man before he could make it into the head.

"What?"

"Today…it’s gunna be fine."

"Yeah, I know," Blaze casually nodded.

Alexi nodded in return but began to anxiously rub at his chin.

"I just wanted to say, Blaze…in case something should happen to me…now or…ten years from now or whenever…I trust you to look after Katya and now the twins too…"

"But we talked about all of this last night. I thought you and Kat put Margot down as their guardian."

"We did...We did it because you're a pilot and she's got more downtime. But that's not what I mean, Blaze. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm not talking about wiping noses here. If anything should happen to me I trust you to look after them...You're the only one I…"

"Don't worry, Lex," Blaze cut him off with a smile. "If anything should ever happen to you I'll teach those kids how to shoot guns and how to be a grumpy asshole just like their dear old Pop would have," He teased, diffusing the heavy air.

"Thanks," Alexi said with a smirk and a roll of his yes.

"You got it," Blazer replied as Alexi turned to make his way back into the living area. "Hey, Lex?" He called after him.

"Yeah?" Alexi stopped and looked over his shoulder.

"I'd watch over Katya and the kids for as long as I lived," Blaze promised. "I'd do anything for them. I'd lay down my life for them."

"I know, brother," Alexi answered.

Blaze cleared his throat.

"It'll be okay."

Alexi gave him a simple nod.

"Get ready, LT," He instructed again before briskly leaving the room.

"Yes, Sir."

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

PATROL OFFICE: 10B; TEMP. ASSIGNMENT: FIGHTER SQUADRON 1; LUNA FORCE

YEAR: 2316

"You're here early," Sam said squinting in the room's bright white light.

D'Anna was sitting by herself in the center row of chairs that were lined up for the meeting.

"I could say the same to you," She briskly quipped.

Sam took a seat in the chair in front of hers.

"Nervous?" He asked over his shoulder.

"No. I just want the day to start."

Sam cringed at her coolness.

"You're not worried for Margot?" He said turning in his seat to face her better.

"Don't tell me that you are," She challenged.

Sam bit his lip. He spun forward in his chair giving her his back. His shoulders fell with a soft groan.

"You must think I'm a piece of work," He said without facing her.

"Well, luckily you had the foresight to program me with unwavering reverence for the Final Five. Cloned or not my programming persists or I'd probably knock your bloody head off," She told his back.

Sam turned to look at her again.

"You understand that I don't wish her harm. I like her. I think she's a great kid. I just can't…"

"She'll fulfill her destiny with our without you," D'Anna stated with a neat smile.

"Destiny?" Sam scowled. "Look, D'Anna I want you to know something. I want you to know that I offered to take Margot's place. I spoke to her privately and I told her that I would go down there for her."

"And why do you want me to know that?" D'Anna said with an arched brow.

"I don't know. Maybe you can convince her to stay. I'm still willing to go. She doesn't have to do this."

"That's where you're wrong, Sam. And if you cared enough to listen to her, if you cared enough to hear her you would know that she must do this. She feels like it's her task to complete and that's why I would never stand in her way."

Sam grimaced at D'Anna's flighty diatribe.

" She's a kid. She's going into occupied territory. You're her mother. .."

"No matter who we may be to her, we have no right to stand in her way. As her mother I'd rather guide her than divert her."

Sam let out a long frustrated breath.

"D'Anna, how the hell are you so accepting of her? I have to ask. I mean maybe I'm in the wrong. Gods know that everyone thinks I am but at least they understand where I'm coming from. You ignore how she got here, you ignore what a mistake it was to…"

"She is far from a mistake ," D'Anna insisted her words razor sharp and deliberate. " None of them were mistakes. How could you still think that? You see where those boys fit in, how they've stepped in so graciously to save their people. I've told Laura Roslin this, and now I'll tell you. I think she's finally starting to understand it so maybe there is hope for you too. These children are gifts from God sent here to help us. Even that poor recycled soul wrapped up in a pretty new package that you've been hounding like a dog since you woke up in this mess."

Sam's mouth dropped and his eyes narrowed.

"What? Wait," He stammered. "Recycled? D'Anna are you talking about Kar...Katya?"

D'Anna looked around the room and shrugged apathetically.

"I'm talking about Roslin and Adama's daughter," She answered noncommittally.

"Then...you know about her," Sam accused. He stood from his chair and looked down at her. " How? How do you know?"

"I haven't the faintest idea," D'Anna claimed. "How do you know?"

Sam ran his fingers frantically through his hair.

"I...I...I don't understand. It's like she's Kara but she's not Kara. Do you…"

"I don't know any more than you do, Sam," D'Anna interrupted. "And I care far less."

"But it's killing me. I just wish I understood. Then maybe I could move on or maybe I could help her to move on."

D'Anna crossed her arms and her lips went into a hard line.

"You're so eager to assist her and yet your own flesh and blood you can't stand to look at."

" Fine. I'm a prick ," Sam said dramatically dropping his arms to his side. "I'm awful. What else do you want from me, D'Anna? I'm just not ready yet. You spend all the time with Margot that you want. I'm sure she'll appreciate it but let me get there on my own. You can't fault me for trying to figure out where Kara fits in. I love her. She was my life."

"She isn't now," D'Anna returned flatly.

" What is she? "

"I told you that I don't know and I don't care to."

Sam's temper began to rise.

"You understand more than me. You must. You said recycled. Why did you say that?"

D'Anna considered it for a moment.

"I'm not sure."

Sam was ready to pull his hair out at the root.

" Please, D'Anna ," He beseeched. Sam knew the model well. He could remember how they'd configured the Threes. He could get her to talk. He just had to say the right things. He had to play to who and what she was. "Please? D'Anna, look at me. I made you, D'Anna. I made you, I programmed you. You have a life because of me and now I've given you a daughter. Give me something in return. Give me some light, some scrap of wisdom to make sense of all this. Give me something . I'm begging you."

D'Anna's eyes cast down to her lap. She licked gently at her bottom lip before looking back up at him.

When Sam looked at her eyes he saw that their stone blue had softened to a liquid grey and he knew that he had her.

"You know, I used to think a lot about consciousness and the soul and the spirit," The Three began. "Everything which makes up that of sentient being. I became obsessed with what happened to that life force when its body was no longer habitable. I believed that it went to be with God but I was enamored with the space in which it existed after death. Now it's hard to remember that place. I remember bits and pieces, feelings mostly. But I recall enough to know that spirit and consciousness aren't always one."

Sam's brow creased.

"What do you mean? Like it can split?"

"No. I didn't say that. I just think that our ethereal selves are more fluid than we know," D'Anna proposed. "I think of the soul as being made of spirit and essence; our impulses, our instincts and our heart's desires. I think of consciousness more as being made up of character and memory; our idiosyncrasies and personalities, our behaviors and our responses to what we experience around us. Now maybe...just maybe it's possible for the soul; the spirit the very essence of a being to have more than one consciousness, especially if it experiences more than one life."

Sam's eyes went wide.

"You think she came back? That part of Kara came back?"

"I think that girl you've been pestering is her own person. She's a unique individual with a life and story of her own...and maybe , a very very old soul."

Sam slunk back into his seat half turned to face her.

"You're right about the other side, D’Anna. It's hard to recall but I remember some things. Not what it looked like or where it was but I remember being with Kara. I remember that we were together for ages. I remember that one day she had to leave me. She told me that her family needed her and that eventually we would be together. But we aren't together. I mean she's here but we aren't together."

D'Anna leaned forward in her chair so she was close to Sam's ear.

"They all have a purpose, Sam. Each one of them. Maybe this time her purpose has nothing to do with you."

D'Anna leaned back and crossed her legs, enjoying watching the wheels turn in Sam's mind.

He was mute, mouth open and eyes clouded. It took a while before he spoke again.

"I'll still go down to the surface in Margot's place, D'Anna. If you can convince her I'll suit up and go. I don't want to see anything bad happen to her."

D'Anna smiled and shook her head.

"I wouldn't dream of taking this away from her."

"But it's…"

"If you're so conflicted over her existence then watch her fulfill her purpose. See her for the gift that she is. Maybe then you'll be more open to accepting her into your new life. You feel a void where Kara is missing. There are different kinds of love to be experienced besides romance, Sam. Maybe one day you'll look at our daughter and see that."

"Yeah."

The hatch opened and Margot and Katya entered. They both froze at the sight of D'Anna and Sam sitting quietly in the room. The rest of their family was at their backs. Sam could hear them all complaining that the girls had abruptly blocked their way in. There was a grumble from Saul, a grunt from Alexi and some whining from Blazer all followed by a matronly warning from Ellen. Soon the girls moved on to take their seats and everyone began to pile in after them.

It was time to get started.

_____________________


 

TRANSLATIONS

E-FED

"Hvatit, Alexi," Katya grimly warned him." Nyet. Please just don't."(enough Alexi don't)

(Enough) (No)

Da- Yes

Sestrichka- little sister

Devochka moya: my little girl

"Schtoh sluchilys?"

(What's wrong/ What's the matter)

Malysh- baby

myshka: little mouse

Prastieh?"(pardon?)

Pozdravlyenyia- congratulations

Please leave a review. They motivate me and they will give me something to read (and keep me sane) when I'm up at 3am feeding baby J.

Thanks for reading! :-)




Chapter 32: Character Bios and Fic Glossary

Summary:

Hello readers! This is not a chapter update though the end of Alpha Station will be posted soon! I’m sorry to disappoint anyone who got a new chapter notice hoping to read another installment after all these months. I am doing my best to finish this story as promised. I wanted to touch base with anyone still awaiting the conclusion to say don't lose hope. As a small token of my gratitude for your time, support and patience I have added some Original Character bios and a short fic glossary if anyone is in the mood to check it out.
If you are a NEW READER and have stumbled upon this please know that the CHARACTER BIOS MAY CONTAIN MINIMAL SPOILERS for previously posted chapters.
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Notes:

I may add to the glossary in the future so if there is anything you would like defined or clarified please PM me or leave a comment to get it added to this list. I am sorry that it is not in any kind of order. I will try and arrange it alphabetically when I have more time. This installation will be moved to the end of the story once the last two chapters are up.

Character Bios are only for my original cast of characters. Please use bios for BSG characters found at other source fandom sites if needed.

My goal is post the end by the new year

 

A little side note; I actaully got to meet Kate Vernon (Ellen) and Michael Hogan (Saul) in September!! I attended Dragon Con in Atlanta, Georgia where I went to a BSG panel and saw several actors from the show speak and answer questions. I decided to go to a meet and greet with Kate and Michael afterwards. It was hard to pick which actors I would meet since time was an issue but I figured I just had to go with them since the Tighs have been living in my head since this story began! I thought that maybe meeting the people who depicted the king and queen of all toasters would be inspiring to my writing! They were both as sweet as can be. Kate is stunning in person and Michael is the friendliest guy! It was so cool to get to talk to them for a bit.
Anyways, I thought I would share!
Leave feedback if you have any questions, requests, concerns or want to leave a review or note (or if you just want to yell at me for making you think there was a real chapter to read. Sorry!). As always your comments fuel my writing process and are much appreciated!
Enjoy and Good Hunting!

Chapter Text

Character Bios

 

Tawny Lian Xao

At the start of Alpha Station Dr. Tawny Xao is 27 years old. Her father, Dr. Ning Xao is Alpha’s chief military doctor. Her mother, an Orbit Patrol Captain was killed by airBots when Tawny was  two years old. Tawny and Katya Isakoff formed a close relationship as children. They spent much of their time together aboard the station as their fathers worked closely as part of a special league of military scientists. Tawny was an accomplished gymnast as a child and young teen but was far more dedicated to her studies and following in her father’s footsteps. She finished her general studies by age 14 and then started her advanced studies in biology. At age 17 she joined the military with parental permission. After her basic training and a year of varied assignments she was able to start her medical studies and a clinical apprenticeship in order to become a military physician. She did residencies in both the civilian medical center and Alpha’s military infirmary. At age 23 Tawny officially became a second lieutenant and Orbit Patrol’s only female medical doctor serving aboard Alpha Station. Through the story Tawny is dedicated to her work. She does not have much of a personal life and sacrifices a good deal of her time to help others.  Her planetary heritage comes from the area of the Eastern Republic sector. Tawny is fluent in the old language of the region.

 

Ning Xao

Dr. Ning Xao is a small man in his early 70’s at the start of the story. He has been serving in the military since he was 16 years old and has earned the rank of major. Through Orbit Patrol he studied biology and eventually became a medical doctor. Xao was married to an Orbit Patrol pilot. They had one child, a daughter named Tawny Lian. Xao’s wife was killed during an air battle leaving him to raise their 2 year old alone. He never remarried. When the Earth Orbit Committee was first contacted by the Tighs, Xao was selected as part of a team of scientist chosen to work with the cylons. Xao was initially wary of the cloning project.  Saul and Ellen Tigh insisted that it was pertinent to fulfilling the prophecy meant to save the people of Earth Orbit and Xao finally agreed to help in the process. Though it conflicted with his morals he participated in the creation of the bodies and worked in Alpha’s lab with Dr. Mikhail Isakoff.

Because of his moral compass the rest of the team of scientists and the government officials involved decide to leave Xao out of the late decision to try and speed up the prophecy by means of creating genetic offspring from the cloned bodies. Xao was only told of what has been done once it was already well underway and unable to be stopped. When he was informed he made his opposition and distaste for the matter known but he agreed to provide medical care for the baby created using Roslin and Adama’s bodies. As Tawny and Katya grow up and become young women Xao acts as a paternal figure and mentor.

 

Ning Xao is originally from Beta Station but was stationed on Alpha when he first enlisted in the military. His planetary heritage comes from the area of the Eastern Republic Sector. Xao grew up speaking the old language of his region at a time when it was once commonly used on Beta Station. Though the Orbit government eventually decreed a universal language Xao taught his traditional language to his daughter and passed on much of his culture to her. He has a sister named Lian who practices holistic medicine on the civilian side of Alpha Station. Other than his dedication to his work he is known for his short stature and his love of Beta wine.

 

Blaze K. Bishop

Blaze Kyle Bishop is the second child born within the descendants program. At the start of Alpha Station he is 21 years old and turns 22 several chapters in. He is the biological son of Sharon Agathon and Karl C. Agathon which makes him a Colonial-Cylon hybrid. He was born on Beta station and raised by his “creator” Dr. Kyle Bishop. Though generally well taken care of as a child Blaze was subjected to experiments performed by Dr. Bishop and his staff. He notably participated in a yearlong trial living only on water and a daily pill meant as a dietary supplement. Later he participated in a study with Margot and Alexi meant to examine their cylon ability to project in order to create ways for Earth humans to activate the lost ability. The trauma from these experiments is largely repressed by Blaze as he grows older.

Dr. Bishop was killed when Blaze was 12 years old. Orphaned Blaze was sent to live on Gamma Station with Dr. Petrov and his adoptive son Alexi. The two boys were raised as brothers until Petrov was killed in a station raid. At 14 years old Blaze moved with Alexi to Alpha Station. Saul and Ellen Tigh took over legal guardianship of Blaze and Alexi though both boys lived in junior officer’s barracks while they continued their general studies.

Sports and academics come easy to Blaze and he finds joy in most things that he does. Blaze took an interest in medicine at a young age but his drive to join the military to make a more immediate impact won out. Though he began training as a physical therapist he ultimately decided to ask the Tighs for permission to join Orbit Patrol at age 17. They agreed to sign on his behalf and he began basic right away. As a talented pilot Blaze quickly made first squadron and earned his call-sign “Blazer” for his speed and agility in flight.

 

Blaze is known for being friendly, jovial and very humorous, often finding it difficult to be serious even in the most dire of circumstance. He is an asset to Orbit Patrol and continues to use his knowledge of anatomy and sports medicine to provide therapy to fellow pilots injured in the line of duty. Blaze lives with an unrequited love for his friend Katya. Though the two have a short romantic union as young teenagers Katya falls in love with Alexi who Blaze considers his brother. Blaze has never quite been able to get over his feelings for Katya though he treats the couple with the utmost respect and is the witness at their wedding. His adopted heritage comes from mainly from the United West where most of Dr.Bishop’s  ancestors fled from.

 

Blaze is very tall with broad shoulders. His muscled frame could be seen as intimidating if it weren’t for his pleasant and sometimes goofy demeanor. His hair is dark and his eyes are a clear chestnut hue. Ellen finds Blaze’s features to be a perfect mix of Sharon and Helo just as their daughter Hera had been. Blaze has several tattoos including the symbol of his home station, Beta (β)on his left bicep and the word “luna” on the back of his right shoulder.  

 

Yekaterina “Katya” Natalia Isakoff

Katya is the first child born in the descendants program. At the start of the story she has recently turned 22 years old and is a newlywed having married her childhood sweetheart, Alexi Petrov.  Katya is the biological child of Laura Roslin and William Adama. She was born aboard Alpha Station and raised by Dr. Mikhail Isakoff. The scientist kept his adopted daughter close. As a result she spent much of her first years within the very lab she was born in, observing her biological parents in their stasis tanks and learning from the lab staff. Though generally well taken care of as a child Katya was subjected to experiments performed by Dr. Isakoff and his staff. After the descendants program was eventually deemed a failure the experimentation became the only use the scientist could find for the four children. As a five year old Katya was forced to endure a yearlong trial living only on water and a daily pill meant as a complete dietary supplement. The trial left a lasting impact affecting Katya’s ability to efficiently discern hunger.

Katya was a lonely child who often pined for her absent parents, especially her lifeless mother. She found a friend and role model in Tawny Xao but was often seen as a pest being 5 years Tawny’s junior. Dr. Isakoff did his best to train his daughter to suppress unnecessary emotion and as a result she became rather cold and distant as a young girl. Katya started ballet instruction almost as soon as she could can walk. Her father believed it would teach her discipline and how to work through pain. Katya has a great talent for the craft and before her military career ballet was her main focus. When Katya was 7 years old a station ambush resulted in the death of her adoptive father. She was hidden in a closet within the lab during the event and witnessed the murder. After hearing word of the doctor’s death and the near destruction of Roslin and Adama’s bodies Saul and Ellen Tigh came to Alpha Station from where they had been living for eons aboard their basestar. They learned of Katya’s existence and the existence of the other children. They adopted the girl right away and made the permanent move to Alpha. Katya quickly warmed up to the Tighs finding in them the loving parents she always wanted. She became extremely close to Ellen having never experienced a mother figure before.  Saul began to share stories of Galactica and taught the girl about her parents and their ancient journey. Katya developed an affinity for flight through Saul’s tails of her biological brother, Lee and his squadron. The Tighs reignited Katya’s interest in her birth parents and she began to long to meet them again. Saul and Ellen quickly formed a family with Katya and she was able to find happiness that she had never known before. As Katya’s adoptive parents the Tighs are prone to spoiling her in attempts to make up for her treacherous beginnings. Katya maintains a strange love for her late adoptive father even after realizing the scientist’s crimes. As child she suffered from vivid dreams and night terrors centering around his violent death.

 

Katya has minimal cylon abilities inherited from her biological mother’s cylon infused genetics. After her adoption Ellen Tigh helped Katya to hone her cylon abilities and accept them as part of her life. As Katya got older her disposition darkened. Adolescence brought the realization of how she came to be and the failure of her creation. She began to understand that she and her peers haf been the products of glorified medical rape. The Tighs struggled through Katya’s teen years as she became prone to angry temper tantrums, altercations, bouts of severe depression and self harm. They helped her as best as they could and offered her their unconditional love and acceptance.

 

By the time she was fifteen Katya had fallen in love with Alexi Petrov. The two bonded over their shared experiences and their adoptive Earth heritage. As she got older Katya advanced in the world of ballet. She danced the lead in many performances but ultimately came to feel as though she was wasting her time. After she completed her general studies she began training as a biologist within the very lab she grew up in. At 17 Katya was eager to join Orbit Patrol and begin training to become a pilot. Though Ellen was wary of the danger she and Saul agreed to sign on the minor’s behalf and Katya began basic flight. She was kept aboard Alpha Station and started service as a patrol pilot. Her father’s childhood pet-name and Ellen’s affectional term of endearment, ‘kitten’ became inspiration for the girl’s call sign, Koshka, meaning ‘cat’ in the old Eastern Federalist language. It fit her flight style which was seen by her CAP as smooth and slick with almost feline reflexes. Though Orbit Patrol became Katya’s priority she often still volunteered in the lab in order to care for the bodies of her birth parents during times when they were out of stasis. Katya moved up the ranks quickly and was promoted to captain just days after her 21st birthday. Not long after her promotion she and Alexi asked the Tighs for permission to wed in order to get their own private quarters. With Alexi still not yet a legal adult according to Orbit Law the 20 year old needed the signatures of his legal guardians to become Katya’s husband. The Tighs agreed and the two were married in a simple ceremony.

 

Katya’s adoptive heritage comes from the Eastern Federation Sector. Dr. Isakoff and his family held true to much of their Earth culture and raised Katya to take their traditions and language as her own. Katya is known for being loyal and loving deeply but her short temper and her reputation for being a spoiled brat often prevent others from seeing her better qualities. Many find her emotionally immature for her age though in contrast she almost never runs from responsibility or obligations which makes her highly reliable.

 

Katya is fairly tall with an elegant gate, long legs and a lean muscular frame due to her years of classical ballet training. Her hair is black, full and kept long. She has fair skin inherited from her birthmother and dark blue eyes inherited from her birthfather. Though she passes well as an Eastern Federalist Saul often notes that she looks undeniably Tauron.  She has several tattoos including an A at the base of her neck as tribute to her home station. She also has the old Cyrillic word ‘doshka’, meaning daughter, tattooed over her right ribs and the silhouette of a cat against the moon on her left ribs.  

 

 

Alexi Petrov

Alexi Petrov was born on Gamma Station as the third child in the descendants program. He is the biological son of Gaius Baltar and Caprica Six. He is 21 years old at the start of the story and newly married to his childhood sweetheart Katya Isakoff. Alexi is raised on Gamma by his ‘creator’ and adoptive father Dr. Dmitri Petrov. Like his peers in the descendants program Alexi is subjected to experiments during his childhood once the hypothesis of his potential use is deemed a failure. Many of these tests and trials center on his half cylon, half colonial genetics. Alexi is a solemn and brooding child who rarely smiles. At a young age his adoptive father teaches him about his biological parent’s role in the ancient origin stories. Alexi internalizes their faults and becomes bitter and ashamed of his birthparents even as a child. He his brilliant, especially in the realm of mathematics but downplays his abilities, often claiming them useless as infallible computers are readily available. His embarrassment over his intellect largely stems from wanting to distance himself from his supposed genius birthfather. When Alexi was 11 years old Blaze came to live with him on Gamma Station. The two were raised as brothers and Blaze was able to influence a sense of humor in Alexi.  When Alexi was 13 Gamma Station was attacked and infiltrated by bots who kill his adoptive father and destroyed the cloned bodies of his birthparents eliminating his chances of ever knowing Caprica Six or Gaius Baltar. Alexi and Blaze moved to Alpha station and the Tighs became their legal guardians though they live in junior officer’s barracks while they completed their general studies. Alexi began a relationship with Katya Isakoff and the two fell in love. He developed a strange but loving relationship with Tighs who he feels are the only parents any of them need. Though Saul is often hard on the boy due to his romantic relationship with Katya the colonel has a special affinity for him stemming from his old relationship with Caprica. Wishing to be of some use to his people Alexi decided that he wanted to join the military. Though he was told that a successful career in virtually any area of engineering would be easy for him Alexi had no interest in pursuing anything of the sort and vowed to protect his people. At 17 Alexi asked Saul and Ellen to sign a waiver allowing him to enter the military before he was of legsl age. They did so and he began boot camp right away.

 

Alexi is a dutiful soldier. He joined the marines and eventually became a platoon leader. Deciding that he wanted to start his life with Katya in their own home Alexi suggested that they get married in order to be given private quarters. Katya agreed and with the Tigh’s permission they applied for a marriage application. They married several months later.

Though Alexi is half cylon he rarely uses his abilities. He is quite tall; obviously inheriting his height from his birth mother along with many of her other features like his nose and sky blue eyes. The only notable physicality that Baltar passed down is the boy’s dark hair color. Alexi is passionate about weightlifting and exercise. His muscles are large causing him to look rather hulking in or out of his marine gear. He has the symbol of gamma station (Γ) tattooed on his back.

 

Margot Renee Le Blanc

Margot Le Blanc is the fourth and last child born within the descendants program. She is the biological daughter of D’Anna Biers and Samuel T. Anders. She is the only one of the four children who is fully cylon. She was born on Delta Station almost a full 10 months after Katya Isakoff who was born first. When we meet Margot in the story she is 21 years old. Margot is raised by her adoptive mother and ‘creator’  Dr. Michelle Le Blanc who serves as the lead scientist for both the prophesized cloning program and the descendants program. When Dr. Le Blanc’s hypothesis surrounding the children is deemed a failure she finds use for Margot and her peers by subjecting them to a series of tests and experiments. Margot is used for many trials by her adoptive mother and the other Orbit scientists. At four years old Margot is made to undergo a trial in which she lives on only water and a pill meant to be used as a complete dietary supplement. The trial was considered a success but left Margot with the inability to properly sense hunger. She adapted to the handicap, training herself to set meal alarms and staying mindful of the time in order to keep up with proper nutrition. Margot’s cylon abilities were also regularly studied as a child.

 

Despite being subjected to questionable experiments Margot was otherwise well taken care of by Dr. Le Blanc. Though Michelle Le Blanc’s parenting lacked  warmth and sincerity she made sure that Margot was provided the best childcare and education possible.  As a child Margot was friendly and outgoing. As an adult she has a sweet, polite disposition and is knowing for being extremely helpful. Though she was made fun of by other children at a young age for being a cylon she overcame the ridicule with her cheerful personality and became quite popular. Margot has many friends but maintains a close relationship with Katya Isakoff when they are able to visit each other. Katya Isakoff briefly lived with Margot and Michelle Le Blanc on Delta Station following Dr. Isakoff’s death. When Katya was adopted by the Tighs Margot developed a secret jealousy. She was fascinated to meet two other full blooded cylons and felt a kinship with Saul and Ellen. She envied Katya at first for getting to live with them. As time went on the envy grew as Margot experienced Ellen’s relationship with Katya and finally witnessed true love and maternal warmth she never knew that she was missing from her adoptive mother. Though Margot hid her feelings well Ellen was able to read her and eventually she took the girl under her wing. At fifteen she broight Margot to the cylon basestar for the first time to get acquainted with the stream’s technology and explore her roots. The ship became a home away from home for Margot but as a result her adoptive mother became even more distant and cold. Margot is a talented athlete and plays most station sports in spite of her mother’s opinion that they are a waste of time. Margot was a bright girl and did well in her studies but often felt pressured under her mother’s heavy guidance. Though she grew up on Delta; the epicenter of arts and entertainment in Orbit, Margot fell in love with the world of math and science. After her general studies were completed she started training in network engineering and communications. When Katya, Blaze and Alexi all joined the service Margot was inspired to do the same in order to help her people. Her mother urged her to complete her academics first but eventually she gave in and signed waiver granting the girl permission to enter the military before she was of age. Margot joined  the armed forces and her unique understanding of both cylon and human engineering was quickly noticed. She continued her studies through the military academy and eventually became a communications specialists and cylon network liaison.

Margot maintains her pleasant disposition in spite of her rapidly deteriorating relationship with her adoptive mother and lingering trauma over how she came to be. Margot often feels set apart from the other three descendants. She feels inferior as her birthmother  was a replacement when Kara Thrace could not be cloned. She also develops a complex over being the only child not born to a couple who was previously romantically involved. Margot is sociable and pretty. She attracts the eye of many young women on Delta station but eventually becomes interested in Alpha scientist, Dr. Sydra Kahdim during her frequent trips to the station. Her adoptive heritage comes from the sector of the Central Union. As was common in the sector she and Le Blanc speak various old languages all which are considered dead by Orbit standards. Margot is of above average height with a sturdy gate and lean athletic build. She bears a striking, almost eerie resemblance to her birthmother. Her light blonde hair, cool grey eyes and youthful appearance are among the only features that truly distinguish her from her forbearer. She has one tattoo, Δ, the symbol for Delta on the inside of her right wrist which she got on her 21st birthday, the day she became a legal adult in Orbit.

 

Milos Isakoff Lipovsky

Milos is Katya’s adoptive cousin and an unseen character.He is the son of Mikhail Isakoff’s sister Yelena. Milos and his family live on Gamma Station and run a private distillery making vodka in the old tradition of the Eastern Federation region. He is sometimes involved in unsavory business deals which Saul overlooks in exchange for frequent shipments of complimentary bottles of the Isakoff family’s liquor. Before Mikahil Isakoff’s murder Milos and his adopted cousin Katya played together on holidays and special occasions. He was considered their grandmother’s favorite as she refused to accept Katya as a true part of the family. After his uncle was killed Milos and his mother Yelena, Katya’s adoptive aunt, made it a point to keep a friendly familial relationship with her.

 

Yuri Petrov

Yuri Petrov is the nephew of Dr. Dmitri Petrov and Alexi’s adoptive cousin. He grew up on the civilian side of Alpha Station but took ballet lessons with Katya from a young age. The two always worked well together and eventually they became dance partners in many performances.

 

Slip-Shot

Slip-Shot, known only by his call-sign, is an Orbit Patrol pilot in Luna Force squadron.

 

Lian Xao

Dr. Lian Xao is and unseen character and the sister of Dr. Ning Xao. She is a civilian doctor who works as a holistic healer using many traditional practices from her ancestral Eastern Republic sector. She is considered very good at what she does and is highly trusted. Ellen often brought Katya to her as a child. Tawny and her father frequently recommend their family member’s services in addition to their own care.

 

Dr. Diaz

Diaz is an unseen civilian medical doctor. She is a specialist in her field and works in the women's ward of the civilian medical center.

 

Li-Ming Swon

Li-Ming is the child of Alexi’s former drill sergeant. Alexi and Katya are friendly with the girl’s parents and have known her since she was born. During her appearance in the story she is three years old, shy but bright.

 

Commander Robert Kaplan

Robert Kaplan commands Alpha Station’s military base at the start of the story. He is a stoic but good man in his 50’s and has commanded the station for the last 13 years. He expects a lot from his officers and crew but treats them like family. He is very tall, almost unnaturally so and totally bald. He has light skin and blue eyes with a presence that demands respect and shows his authority. Though he can be intimidating he can also be friendly and personable when off duty.

 

Dr. Michelle Le Blanc

Michelle Le Blanc is a military biological engineer from Delta Station. At the start of the story she has been working as the lead scientist of the resurrection program and is considered Ellen’s human counterpart in the operation. When the Tighs first supply Le Blanc’s team with the DNA samples they had been preserving on their basestar for millennia she took on the task of cloning Samuel T. Anders and Kara Thrace. Though Le Blanc succeeded in cloning Sam without issue she failed to procure any viable DNA from the sample belonging to Kara claiming that the sample she was given contained no identifiable matter. Once her claims were confirmed by Ellen Tigh the hope of resurrecting the former colonial pilot were lost and the task was abandoned by Le Blanc. Saul Tigh then provided her with a replacement sample of cylon DNA. Soon after that she was quickly able to clone the body of D’Anna Biers a prominent Three.

As Ellen Tigh failed to perfect her resurrection process year after year Le Blanc grew impatient. She had fears of losing her position within the military and the government and worried that by the time Ellen succeeded she might not receive the credit that she was due for all of her work. Le Blanc devised a theory that she hoped would negate the need for her cylon counterpart’s involvement. She presented a hypothesis to her team posing the idea that they might not in fact need the resurrected souls of the ancient leaders they had cloned. Her theory suggested that the combined DNA of each set of bodies might procure an already conscious and sentient descendant able to fulfill the prophecy without the need for Ellen’s resurrection process. She presented her theory to the Earth Orbit Committee and under the agreement that the process was kept a guarded secret they agreed to let Le Blanc and her team proceed while they waited for Ellen’s alternative. Le Blanc delegated the first trial conception to Dr. Isakoff of Alpha Station. To her surprise the doctor succeeded on his first try and he quickly confirmed a viable pregnancy using Laura Roslin’s body. After Dr. Bishop and Dr. Petrov also declared successful conceptions Le Blanc began work on her own subjects. After many frustrating attempts to create viable embryos using Sam and D’Anna’s bodies Le Blanc finally confirmed a stable pregnancy. Eager to have full control over her newest ‘creation’ she induced the removal of D’Anna’s fetus after 12 weeks and transferred it to an artificial womb gestation chamber where she could monitor it closely. She legally adopted the last descendant in the program and named the baby girl Margot René e.
Le Blanc gave Margot the best of everything but could be emotionally withdrawn at times. She raised Margot to be polite and congenial and taught her the value of education and the importance of being a productive and valuable member of society.  
Michelle Le Blanc is from Delta Station and most of her Earth heritage descends from the Central Union Sector. Though she is a supporter of her government and Orbit Unity she taught her daughter Margot many languages stemming from her diverse ancestral sector to stimulate her understanding of linguistics and phonetics and to exercise her memory’s encoding elasticity.

Le Blanc briefly took in Katya Isakoff after the girl became orphaned. When the Tighs adopted the child just weeks later Le Blanc was glad to be rid of what she viewed as a poor behavioral influence on Margot.

At the start of the story Le Blanc is eager to see the results of all of her hard work finally come to fruition

She is a thin woman of average height and wears her hair in a short practical blonde bob.

 

Dr. Mikhail Isakoff

At the start of Alpha station Mikhail Isakoff has been dead for over 15 years. He was recruited as part of a team of doctors and scientists by the Earth Orbit Committee when communications with the Tighs was relatively new. When the decision was made to clone the ancient leaders as the prophecies foretold Isakoff was a big part of the planning stages. He was given the task of cloning Laura Roslin and Bill Adama. He did so successfully over 30 years before the story begins. He cared for them over the years as society waited for Ellen Tigh to figure out a way to resurrect their souls and minds using the substitute bodies. Isakoff ran Alpha Station’s military laboratory where the bodies were kept under the watchful eye of his staff. His lab was able to age the bodies at the speed they desired, slowing it down and hastening it at different points. As the years passed and Ellen still had not perfected the resurrection process Isakoff and his team became restless as did the government. Isakoff’s teammate Michelle Le Blanc of Delta Station proposed a theory that would possibly nullify the need for resurrection at all. Since it was the souls and consciousness of the former leaders that was important Le Blanc suggested that perhaps their combined DNA could be used to conceive already conscious replacements. The Government secretly gave Isakoff’s team permission to go on and he was given the order to go ahead with the first attempt at conception. The bodies of Laura Roslin and Bill Adama were aged to a physical point of late teens to early twenties and then removed from their stasis chambers. Amazingly conception was a success on Isakoff’s first try. Months later he adopted the baby at birth and named her Yekaterina Natalia.  He raised her as his own until the time of his murder. During a station ambush bots stormed the military side of the ship. That day Isakoff had the little girl with him at work. As word came that the bots were heading for the lab the doctor picked up his seven year old adoptive daughter and hid her inside of a lab closet. The lab was infiltrated and Isakoff as well as most of his staff was murdered protecting the bodies of Roslin and Adama as they floated in stasis. Marines stormed in and stopped the bots before any damage could come to the bodies. They rescued the child who had heard the entire attack take place as she hid.

Isakoff was originally from Gamma Station but was stationed on Alpha after joining the military as a biological engineer. His ancestral heritage was from the Eastern Federation sector of Earth. He was proud of his lineage and raised his adoptive daughter to carry on the old language and cultural traditions. Though he seemed to care for his daughter very much he did not take pause in subjecting her to experiments and trials. Isakoff was a brilliant man. He was serious and passionate about his work foregoing serious relationships in order to avoid distraction.

 

Dr. Dmitri Petrov

At the start of Alpha station Dimitri Petrov has been dead for over 7 years. He was recruited as part of a team of doctors and scientists by the Earth Orbit Committee when communications with the Tighs was relatively new. When the decision was made to clone the ancient leaders as the prophecies foretold Petrov was part of the planning stages. He was given the task of cloning Caprica Six and Gaius Baltar. He did so successfully over 30 years before the story begins. He cared for their bodies over the years as society waited for Ellen Tigh to figure out a way to resurrect them. Petrov ran Gamma Station’s military laboratory where the bodies were kept under the watchful eye of his staff. His staff was able to age the bodies at the speed they desired, slowing it down and hastening it at different points in time. As the years passed and Ellen still had not perfected the resurrection process Petrov and his team became restless as did the government. Petrov’s teammate Michelle Le Blanc of Delta Station proposed a theory that would possibly nullify the need for resurrection at all. Since it was the souls and consciousness of the former leaders that was important Le Blanc suggested that perhaps their combined DNA could be used to conceive already conscious replacements. Once Dr. Isakoff and Dr. Bishop were successful Dr. Petrov followed and a third baby was conceived using Caprica and Baltar’s bodies. The baby boy was born months later. Perov adopted the child at birth and named him Alexi. Years later he came to take over the guardianship of a 12 year old Blaze Bishop when Dr. Kyle Bishop was killed during a bot attack on Beta Station. Petrov raised the boys as brothers until he was eventually murdered during a similar attack aboard Gamma Station. Petrov was unable to save his life’s work and the bodies of Baltar and Caprica were destroyed at the time of his death. Petrov was a close friend of Dr. Mikhail Isakoff. Their children often played together during station visits. Petrov shared Isakoff’s Earth hearitage both having ancestral ties to the Eastern Federation sector. Petrov raised his adoptive son in his culture, sharing the old language and traditions.

 

Dr. Sydra Kahdim

Dr. Sydra Kahdim of Alpha Station is in her late twenties during the start of the story. She is a biological engineer in Alpha Station’s military laboratory. Sydra completed her general studies at 16 and chose to move on to advanced studies in biology. At 19 she was recruited by the armed forces and eventually given a prominent role in Alpha’s military lab. She assists Ellen Tigh in the care of the bodies of Adama and Roslin and eventually aided in their resurrection process as well as the resurrection of the others.

Sydra is the granddaughter of  the deceased Mikhail Isakoff’s head lab assistant. The late Dr. Kahdim was killed at the same time as Isakoff during a bot attack on Alpha. Sydra followed in her grandmother’s footsteps, eventually taking over the position. Sydra became friendly with Katya Isakoff as the girl volunteered in the lab over the years. After confiding in Katya that she has trouble meeting available women since she is always stuck in the lab, Katya introduced the doctor to Margot Le Blanc during a visit from Delta. The two hit it off and are in a new relationship at the start of the story.

 

Sydra is petite with long dark hair that she keeps pulled back in a ponytail while in the lab. She has clear dark skin, bright chocolate eyes, and a brilliant smile. Though she has a tendency to be quiet and shy she is friendly, encouraging and compassionate to those she knows well. Her Earth heritage is varied. She was born but on Alpha but no longer has any family living on the station.

 

Dr. Kyle Bishop

At the start of Alpha station Mikhail Isakoff has been dead for almost 10 years.  Hailing from Beta Station Bishop was recruited as part of a team of doctors and scientists by the Earth Orbit Committee when communications with the Tighs was relatively new. When the decision was made to clone the ancient leaders as the prophecies foretold Bishop was given the task of cloning Sharon and Karl Agathon. He did so successfully over 30 years before the story begins. He cared for them over the years as society waited for Ellen Tigh to figure out a way to resurrect them using the substitute bodies. Bishop ran Beta Station’s military laboratory where the bodies were kept under the watchful eye of his staff. When his team decided to test Michelle Le Blanc’s theory of biological descendant replacements it did not take long for Bishop to agree. He was given the task of procuring viable embryos using the bodies he’d created. He eventually was successful and months after the cloned body of Sharon Agathon gave birth to a son who Bishop adopted and named Blaze.

Bishop was known for being extremely charming and charismatic though he lacked sincerity and integrity. He was easily coerced into participating in amoral acts and tasks for his own personal gain. Though he cared for his adoptive son, Dr. Bishop had little trouble forcing the young boy to take part in trials and experiments once the descendants program had been deemed a failure. When Bishop realized that his half cylon son was exhibiting traits passed down by his mother he took advantage of having such an available subject. Bishop went on to use Blaze, Alexi and Margot in his attempts to create various devices and therapies that would theoretically activate cylon traits long lost to Earth Humans. Some of the trials and tests Bishop put his son through were quite traumatizing to the boy and often painful.
Bishop was killed by bots during a station ambush during an attempt to destroy the Agathon bodies.
Bishop’s Earth heritage stemmed mostly from the United West and Eastern Republic but his ancestors had long abandoned any recognizable traditions or customs. He was a great supporter of sector unity and the Earth Orbit government. He believed in using a universal language and identified as a citizen of the station system rather than a refugee of the planet below.

Madame Oksana Lobanova

Madame Lobanova is a Katya’s ballet instructor and a civilian aboard Alpha Station. When Katya first started her training Lobanova was already in her nineties making her well over one hundred years old during the timeframe of the story. Age has made her walk with a hunch and she has long given up speaking anything other than her ancestral Eastern Federalist tongue, bitter that the government has attempted to take it away from her people. She walks with a cane which she often brandishes at students. Her tactics are strict and stern. She shouts and scowls as a general rule no matter what she is saying. After Katya’s adoption by the Tighs Ellen began to take the girl to her private sessions and rehearsals. Unaccustomed to the strange traditions of the craft Ellen found Lobanova to be abusive and mean. She had words with her several times until little Katya convinced her that the woman meant no harm. Eventually Ellen accepted Lobanova’s part in Katya’s life and stayed out of her way, only providing support and help for the girls hobby when needed which the old woman appreciated. During the story Lobanova is deteriorating but still teaching during the last days of her life.

 

Vladi

 

Vladi is a friendly cylon centurion commonly posted outside of the Tigh family’s cabin during Katya’s childhood. Katya Isakoff was able to communicate with the cylon and gave him his name when she was a little girl. He is known for bringing gifts to the women of the family that are sometimes strange despite his seemingly sweet intentions. The Tighs often think of him as sort of a family pet.

Vladi shows more sentient qualities than most centurions though Ellen feels he is an example of an evolutionary jump in their ever changing race rather than an abnormality. Though Katya was once scared of his appearance she grew to love Vladi and she believes that he loves her in return.



BSG Characters 

Ellen Tigh, Saul Tigh, Laura Roslin, William Adama, Karl C. Agathon, Sharon Agathon, D'Anna Biers, Samuel T. Anders


 

Glossary

 

 

Alpha Station

A

 

Alpha Space Station was once owned and operated by the United West sector of Earth. When the planet was taken over by a race of androids most people from the United West fled to Alpha. It became part of the society of Earth Orbit when the stations and their pods decided to unify under one government. It is known for being the hub of military innovation within the system. Alpha is represented by a plain light blue flag indicating its station color. Military officers stationed on Alpha wear armbands over their biceps in the same blue color. In addition every resident of Alpha Station is issued their station cuffs in a pearlized version of the color.

 

Beta Station

β

Beta Space Station was once owned and operated by the Eastern Republic sector of Earth. When the planet was taken over by a race of androids most people from the Eastern Republic fled to Beta. It became part of the society of Earth Orbit when the stations and their pods decided to unify under one government. It is known for producing the majority of the system’s food. It houses giant climate controlled greenhouses as well as several grain and algae harvesting operations.  Beta is represented by a plain bright orange flag indicating its station color. Military officers stationed on Beta wear armbands over their biceps in the same orange color. Every resident of Delta Station is issued their station cuffs in the color as well.

 

Gamma Station

Γ

 

Gamma Space Station was once owned and operated by the Eastern Federation sector of Earth. When the planet was taken over by a race of androids most people from the Eastern Federation fled to Gamma. It became part of the society of Earth Orbit when the stations and their pods decided to unify under one government. It is known for being the hub of scientific  innovation and discovery within the system. Many of Orbit’s greatest doctors and scientists come from Gamma. It is represented by a plain green flag indicating its station color. Military officers stationed on Gamma wear armbands over their biceps in the same green color. Every resident of Gamma Station is issued their station cuffs in the color as well.


Delta Station

Δ

Delta Space Station was once owned and operated by the Central Union sector of Earth. When the planet was taken over by a race of androids most people from the Central Union fled to Delta. It became part of the society of Earth Orbit when the stations and their pods decided to unify under one government. It is known for being the center of arts and entertainment within the system. When war broke out on the surface of Earth and the people began to flee to Orbit many of the world’s most precious works of art were saved from destruction by being brought to Delta. The station houses many theaters, galleries, studios and nightclubs. It is known for being the center of creativity and is generally considered the only vacation spot within Orbit. Delta is represented by a plain purple flag indicating its station color. Military officers stationed on Delta wear purple armbands over their biceps. Every resident of Delta Station is issued their station cuffs in the color as well.

Pods

Ω omega, O omicron, I iota, E epsilon, L lambda, P Rho

 

System pods are small stations within each Orbit quadrant. Some are used for docking or charging stations while others are used for storage. Each pod has a small number of permanent residents, mostly comprised of people who work in jurisdictions within the unit.

Bots

 

Short for robots, bots are a race of highly developed androids who turned on their creators for abusing them as a slave race and destroying the planet with overpopulation, destruction of other species and rampant pollution. Bots are comprised of a fleet of airBots and artillery airBots, faceless bipedal robotic droids and a highly advanced intelligent network of computers and machinery. Though bots are sentient they operate as one mind and one network rather than individuals. They are known for being extremely violent and ruthless. Unlike cylons communication became minimal between bots and Earth humans after their rebellion. They don’t seem to be capable of empathy or compassion making them much less evolved than any cylon.

Station Cuffs
A station cuff is a device worn by every living person in Earth Orbit over the age of 12. They are legally required by the government and crucial to everyday life within the system. The citizens may choose to have their cuff placed on the left or right wrist (with exceptions made for physical limitations) but are unable to remove them without the help of a special government owned device which only doctors and certain officials have access to. Appearing much like a wristwatch they  are comprised of a fitted cuff with a lucite transparent square face which illuminates into a screen when activated. The screen has the ability to project its data a few inches above, or onto the wearer's forearm if desired. Station cuffs serve numerous purposes including but not limited to access to the network, delegation of currency, entrance to doors and other ports, proof of identity, calculation, text and audio communications. People also use their cuffs for entertainment purposes such a reading news articles and books, watching movies or playing games. Every Station’s cuffs are made in a different color to indicate residence. Alpha’s are made in a pearlized blue, Beta’s in a bright orange, Delta's a bright purple and Gamma’s a deep green.

EOC
The Earth Orbit Committee or EOC is a group of delegates comprised of 4 representatives from each station who act as heads of the government in place of a single president or prime minister. Their decisions are made by majority votes. Each station holds elections yearly to select their delegates. Over the years the EOC has had its share of corruption and scandals. One of the most notable blemishes on the office’s history was the descendants program. With help from the committee Michelle Le Blanc and her team were secretly given permission to carry out her theoretical approach to speeding up the prophecy believed by the people of Earth Orbit and their Cylon guardians.  The EOC was eager to find a way out of the constant state of war their system had been in for ages. The process was theoretical and entailed highly immoral and illegal actions all authorized by the heads of the EOC. When the project was deemed a failure word got out via disgruntled participants and the EOC and the team of scientists were exposed for their wrong doings. Though the EOC issued apologies and explanations for the secret program offshoot it left many citizens distrustful of their government officials.

Quartz Plates

An ancient discovery once thought to be a hoax.

Found on the surface of Earth in a southern continent governed by the former Central Union the Quartz Plates were excavated by a university team of anthropologists over 300 years before the story begins. The artifacts are two polished pink quartz stone tablets each about a foot long. They are each etched with markings which when decoded told the story of the Colonial Fleet, the cylons, their journey and the future prophecy that was to come to their descendants on Earth. The plates were assumed to be a well done hoax but were somehow taken to Delta Station with a shipment of several more highly regarded artifacts during the exodus from the surface to the Orbit system. Once Saul and Ellen Tigh made contact with the Earth Orbit government the prophecy of the Quartz Plates was confirmed and became the belief of the people having matched the prophecy foretold by the cylon basestar’s hybrid.  The tablets, once thought to be nothing but an interesting fake, became the system’s most sacred possession. Through examinations and testing both by the Tighs and Orbit scientists the plates are assumed to have been made by a Colonial oracle sometime after the fleet made it to the new planet. Digital copies of the plates messages are readily available to all citizens via the system network.

Tablets
Clear rectangle shaped devices which when activated illuminate with graphics and data and are used as handheld computers. Every private residence is issued one tablet which can be used to control things like the cabin’s screen walls, com system volume, and lighting. All tablets have network access and can project data at a distance. They perform many of the same abilities as station cuffs but are able to project larger images and have the advantage of being unattached to any one person. Tablets are used in offices, medical facilities and any jurisdiction where portable computers are needed.

Network Accounts
Each citizen of Earth Orbit is issued a station number at birth. This number is used as part of their identification and provides access to each person’s network account. Network accounts hold private data, identification, medical records, legal documents, and credit accounts.

Credits
The only form of currency in Earth Orbit.

Every citizen is given the same amount of monthly credits for food and necessities but can work jurisdictions to earn more. Less often people develop private businesses to earn credits from fellow citizens but the process is hard and permission to do so is often difficult to attain. An example of one such venture is the Isakoff family’s vodka distillery on Gamma Station.

People may gift credits to one another at any time and credit accounts may be inherited from deceased citizens if legal instruction is left before death.

 

Stasis Chambers
A suspension liquid filled vat used to grow clones in a controlled environment.

The specially designed fluid within each chamber is made with conductive properties and can be used to hasten or slow aging, administer nutrients and medication and can also keep up muscle tone.

 

Gestation Chambers

Artificial wombs used to house premature babies as young as 12 weeks gestation.


If you would like a term added to the glossary or if you think I missed an OC bio let me know! 

Chapter 33: Chapter 33

Notes:

Author's Note

Here you are folks; the conclusion of Alpha Station: A Battlestar Galactica 2003 Fantasy Reboot.

I am posting Chapter 33 along with your story Epilogue/Finale. I am also adding a 3rd and final entry of bonus authors commentary and analysis. There (if you care to check it out) you will find answers to some questions I have been asked over the last few years as well as some thematic explanations and story insights.

I don't think I can properly express my thanks to those who have taken the time to read this story and let me know what they thought. This story has been my favorite hobby and my favorite escape from reality for the last few years. It helped me get through my father's illness and then his death. It helped me transition into being a mom and accepting my new life when it was really hard to do so. I think it helped me grow as I writer and delve in deep to explore a range of emotions. I will truly miss thinking of new scenes, situations and dialogue. I will miss the characters and the station as well. Mostly I will miss sharing it with all of you who cared and invested any time into reading Alpha Station.

I don't think that I will ever write something quite as lengthy as Alpha Station ever again, but I hope that one day soon I might be able to add to the BSG fandom's fanfic again in a new way.

 

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Chapter Text

LOCATION: PLANET EARTH

EASTERN HEMISPHERE

SOMEWHERE WITHIN THE FORMER EASTERN REPUBLIC SECTOR

YEAR: 2316

"You're sure you're okay, D'Anna?" Helo asked for the fifth time.

The two sat on the shuttle's ramp breathing in the planetary air rich with the scent of soil and vegetation. They had landed in a clearing within a pine forest not far from the bot's network hub. Though his main focus was on the mission Helo couldn't help but enjoy the feeling of the sun on his face as it peeked through the moving clouds and past the evergreen branches. It was the first time his new body had felt anything like it. He'd forgotten how much he actually missed it.

"Maybe you should rest a while longer."

D'Anna felt fine and she had no need for the captain's hovering.

"Maybe you should go help the marines clean their sick off of the shuttle floor," She wryly suggested.

Their false post hole and subsequent landing had gone off without a hitch. They'd arrived at their destination rather quickly and though the signal effects had taken hold of D'Anna and the marines everyone was finally back on their feet.

"Think we'll leave that for the knuckle draggers back on deck," Helo cringed.

"Wonderful," D'Anna said with a roll of her eyes. "Should make for a pleasant flight back."

"Hey, if you complete this mission, D'Anna and I'll spit shine the whole ship for you."

"Nevermind that. Any word from the Admiral's ship yet?"

Helo shook his head.

"Still nothing. I think it's safe to say their com system got knocked out. Alpha Actual is tracking them, but they haven't gotten word from the Old Man since before he took the dive. We know they made it to their landing target. We just don't have a sit-rep on the condition of anyone aboard. Cuffs are still glitching. Actual doesn't know why."

"Right," D'Anna said looking down toward her boots.

Though the Three's personality was often hard to gauge Helo could see the look of concern in her eyes as clear as the surrounding daylight.

"I'm sure Margot did great," He attempted to reassure.

D'Anna looked forward through the pines examining the terrane.

"Are you worried about your son, Captain?" She asked.

Helo swallowed and squinted as the cloud cover shifted and the sun's rays peered into his eyes, eyes that had never actually been exposed to natural light.

"Very," He admitted.

D'Anna nodded at his honesty.

"In your experience how does a parent go on about their business with that worry so heavy upon their shoulders?"

Helo took a moment to take in D'Anna's question. She was so unlike Sharon whose compassion and instincts had always come fluidly. He shook his head and shrugged.

"It's tough as hell. You know that now. I can't tell you how to file the worry away so you can take it out later when it's more convenient. Being a parent isn't like that, machine or not. But...you keep going for them...Cause' they need you to. This is for Margot's future right?"

D'anna bit at her lip.

"I want her to be able to fulfill her purpose. Yes."

"Then you worry and you keep on worrying, but you do what you have to, and you give it all that you've got for her," Helo asserted.

"Coast looks clear, Cpt. Agathon," A marine announced as he approached the shuttle.

They'd sent two scouts out to clear D'Anna's route to her destination.

"There is minimal bipedal bot security at the network hub," The private described. "I guess they really figured that without us able to get down here they had no need to keep us out of their buildings."

"Thank the gods for that," Helo remarked, slightly relieved at the good news.

"Ma'am, it's about twenty minutes to get there on foot. One of us will head out a bit before you. Two will trail behind. The rest stay back with the captain here at base."

"Fine then," D'Anna said curtly. "When do we get this show on the road?"

LOCATION: PLANET EARTH

WESTERN HEMISPHERE

SOMEWHERE WITHIN THE FORMER UNITED WEST SECTOR

YEAR: 2316

On the other side of the world under the cover of another thick forest sat Husker's ship. While his freefall had gone nearly perfect things had quickly taken an unexpected turn. Once he was low enough into the atmosphere to level out and start toward his target mark he'd found himself way too close for comfort to an active airBot landing strip. They hadn't been seen or detected, but it had forced the Admiral into low cloud cover and hastened his landing within the heavily wooded area. Visibility was compromised and they'd hit more than a few trees on the way down. Though the ship was still fit to fly the communications system was no longer working. Husker was unable to report back to Alpha and he couldn't confirm his landing with Helo either. Their cuffs were barely functioning at all. He just hoped that the station could still see them.

The marines aboard had all suffered from signal effects through the atmosphere break. That along with the tumultuous freefall and rather bumpy landing had added to the recovery time of most of the officers. They had yet to get anyone out in the field to take a look around and poor Margot was still flat on her back.

Bill sat calmly on the floor of the shuttle by the young woman's side. When her flight harness had been undone she'd fallen limply down out of her seat. It had taken a while for her motor functions to return and the one attempt she'd made at sitting up had caused to her immediately collapse back down.

"The corporal said there's some anti-nausea pills left in the medkit. Want to give em a try?" Bill asked in as soft of a voice as he could.

Margot winced and put her hand over her forehead.

"No. No. I don't need that."

"If you're dizzy…"

"I'm not dizzy anymore," Margot interrupted before sheepishly blushing at the fact that she had just cut off a venterined Admiral. "Sorry, Sir. I'm just...I don't know how to explain it...You wouldn't…"

"I know," Bill nodded. "I wouldnt understand. Laura has tried to describe it to me before, but she always says the same. I can't comprehend it. I lack the very thing that it impacts so I could never understand how it feels. No need to explain, Specialist," He assured her. "But I have seen the way it affected my wife. It was awful for her to go through and I know that what she dealt with was only a fraction of how severely it impacts you. That's why I want to make doubly sure that we do everything in our power to get you back in working order."

Margot felt oddly comforted with the Admiral by her side. Before he'd resurrected she'd expected to be intimidated by him. All of the Colonel's stories had built him up as such a powerful and mighty force. The Old Man was far more than that. He was compassionate, considerate and protective. She felt inexplicably safe with him. For a moment she felt the tinge of old jealousy rise within her chest. Katya had the Tighs, and now she had Adama too. His care and compassion was causing the same sense of envy she had felt toward Katya as a young girl when she'd witness the Tigh family's warm and loving dynamic. Margot was so sick of wanting what wasn't hers. With a deep breath she pushed the feeling down as deep as it would go. She had no time for it now.

"I'll be fine," She said before licking at her dry lips. "It wears off fast...It's just...I don't know. This time was different."

"Maybe it wasn't just the signal that got to you," Bill suggested as he reached for a hydration pack and popped it open.

"Huh?

"Maybe it was your fear, your anxiety," He proposed as he put the pack to Margot's lips. She drank it down in a few greedy gulps before he crumpled it and tossed it aside. "Those things can wreak havoc on the body too."

Margot blushed at his insight.

"No need to be embarrassed of that, Specialist. No shame in it," He told her as a matter of fact. "Take a little more time. Our scout's just heading out now. "

Margot nodded and belched out the air she'd taken in while gulping down her water.

"Still dead air on the com system?" She asked.

"Fraid so," Bill confirmed. "No answer on the cuffs either. Alpha knows right where we are though. They can see us. They'll keep Helo and his team posted."

Margot sighed.

"If they even made it. We have no way of knowing."

Bill leaned over and looked right down upon Margot's grey worried eyes.
"Until we do we go forward as if they did. We don't let the unknown consume us. Understand, Specialist?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Good," He replied. "Now, do you wana try and get up?"

When Margot nodded Bill offered her his hand.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR C

MILITARY UNIT

"Kat! Kat, stop!" Laura shouted as they quickly continued down the halls.

"What? C'mon! We have to keep going!" Katya urged. She stopped momentarily and retrieved a pistol from her thigh holster. "Here you should carry this," She said holding the weapon out for Laura to take.

Laura's eyes grew large at the sight of the gun being offered to her.

"No, Katya. I don't want that."

"Whatever," Katya huffed returning it to its strap. "Let's just go then," She said as she turned to restart their trek.

"No! No, Katya. Listen to me," Laura said grabbing hold of the girl's wrist and stopping her haul.

"Laura, what are you doing?!" Katya complained.

The marines anxiously halted waiting for the captain to continue following their lead.

Laura nervously licked at her lips.
"I want you to go back to the control room, Kat. Go to Alexi. Go to your parents. You'll be safer there."

Katya looked at Laura as if she hadn't understood a word that had come out of her mouth.

"What? What about you?"

"Leave me Vladi and one guard. I'm still going."

"Fuck that. I'm not going back without you. Come with me."

Laura shook her head.
"I promised Bill that I would wait for him. I want to be there when he gets off of that shuttle."

"Cap!" A marine called in an urgent tone. "We gotta figure out where we're headed."

"Just hold on," Katya told the guard before turning back to the confrontation. "You know, I don't get you, Laura. You're risking your life just to greet him on the fucking flight deck!? You seem to have a perpetual death wish no matter what life you lead!"

Laura flinched in the face of Katya's obvious frustration.

"I don't expect you to understand, Katya. He waited for me once. I have to be there for him. I just do."

Laura almost couldn't understand it herself. It was true that she wanted to be there for Bill just as he had for her, but the pull to get to him was almost irrational and out of her control.

"Then I'm escorting you the rest of the damn way. I made that man a promise too. I said I'd look out for you until he came back and I'm going to do it no matter how hard you make it," Katya said, once again reaching to her thigh holster. "But you're gunna carry this."

"Katya, I told you, I don't want it."

"Damn it, Laura!" Katya snapped inches from Laura's face, forcing her to back up against the bulkhead as she leaned in further. "There are bots in the halls of this fucking station! They intend to murder us all! Listen to me! Do you want to get killed?! Is that what you want? Well I won't fucking let you! You may not have ever wanted me, but I have spent every frakking moment of my life wanting you! I waited twenty-two years! That may not sound like a long time to you, but it's my whole lousy life! You've only been here for six damn months! I'm not losing you yet, so take this stupid gun and lets fucking go!" She shouted as she forced the weapon into Laura's hand.

"This way, Cap," One of the marines called. "Gotta go."

Katya swiftly turned and followed him.

Laura had no time to react to the sudden outburst or the gun in her hand as she did her best to keep up with her escorts.

As they trudged through the halls Laura's mind whirred. Katya's words played over and over again in her head. Their impact had felt like a slap to the face and she could still feel the sting. Even with their lives on the line it was now all that she could think of. The desire to get to the deck and wait for Bill had suddenly been replaced by the heavy notion of Katya's angry admission. The only image that Laura could conjure was of her child wanting and needing her for over twenty years. Over two decades of waiting only to wind up feeling like an unwanted burden. It consumed Laura's every thought until they hung a sharp right and her vision began to glitch again. In an instant the floor took on the dark shine. The walls disappeared revealing nothing but an empty abyss. She tried to blink it away but this time it wouldn't change. She'd felt like this before, chasing Hera through the halls of Galactica. She'd seen the Opera House, as real and vivid as if she had really been there. It was disorienting but she had to keep going. She couldn't stop to let Katya know what she was seeing or how strange it was making her feel. Laura remembered Sharon's words; she thought of Hera and she kept going.

Soon the group neared their temporary destination; an arms locker.

"Gunfire sounds too heavy in that direction," The lead marine decided. "If we're gunna make it to the deck we need to wait for it to pass or find another way. We're gunna tuck in here for now and reassess. Cuffs seem to be back up, at least partially. We'll try and get some intel while we wait."

Katya and Vladi stood watch as the marines opened the hatch and cleared the room.

Still immersed within her vision Laura felt someone start to guide her inside. She took a few steps in but then froze as the room's interior came into view. What should have been rows of crates and trunks filled with guns and bullets appeared to her as the ominous space from her dream. The empty resurrection tubs were scattered about the cold hard shiny floor and all around them stood tall crystalline pillars that seemed to hold up nothing but more darkness. When she was finally shoved inside the vision abruptly blinked away and the room's actual appearance took hold.

They settled behind a few haphazardly stacked boxes of ammunition; some opened and empty, some still full. The arms locker had been left in disarray as the station's marine platoons had scrambled to load up and crew members had grabbed what they could and hauled off back to the deck. Their mess was now the group's only cover. There they waited and listened.

LOCATION: PLANET EARTH

EASTERN HEMISPHERE

SOMEWHERE WITHIN THE FORMER EASTERN REPUBLIC SECTOR

YEAR: 2316

About halfway to the network hub D'Anna had found that trying to keep her mind as clear as possible was expending far more mental energy than she could spare. The tiny drive located in her pocket contained a deadly virus that she would soon need all of her strength to handle. With ten minutes left to her wooded trek she decided to head Helo's advice and allow her concern for Margot to fuel the rest of her mission instead of trying to block it out.

The hub snuck up on her as the forest abruptly cleared. When it finally came into view she took cover behind an old dying bush to survey her surroundings. It was a large but simple dome structure in the middle of acres of open land, not at all like the fierce spires and spokes her kind had used for such units. She almost laughed at it. For something so important it looked incredibly dull. She was glad. For a moment she allowed herself to picture Margot walking up to the silly dome on her side of the globe and she imagined that the girl wasn't intimidated at all.

D'Anna's momentary optimism was interrupted by the vibration of her cuff. She crouched lower and looked to her wrist surprised to find the device in working order. The marine scout had spotted her. His message confirmed that he had her in his view. Another message told her that the two trailing marines were not far behind and would wait for instruction to continue forward.

With caution she leaned out from behind the shrubbery and scanned the area for the lead marine. She found him in moments, just a few klicks ahead, hidden behind a small metal box-like structure sticking out of the ground. D'Anna could only guess that the box covered some kind of external electrical unit or an unused docking port. The grounds were scattered with old rusting scrap, half broken fencing and abandoned dilapidated machinery. She couldn't tell if it was all weathered bot material or if it was the remains of whatever human structure had once stood there before the war.

With a wave the officer gave D'Anna the okay to advance.

Little by little stopping to take cover behind fencing, shrubbery and old rusty shipping crates D'Anna finally joined the sergeant.

"Fancy meeting you here," She quipped in a whisper causing the young man to frown at her ill-timed humor.

"Ma'am?"

"Nevermind," She said with a roll of her eyes, sure to keep her voice low. "So are we doing this or not?"

"I've only spotted one biped bot," The sergeant began. "The bastard makes rounds on foot and circles the dome constantly with no break. It takes it approximately five and a half minutes to complete the circle. Once it's out of view a hatch opens and a small droid rolls out. It seems to scan the area until the bot comes back around to this side. Then it rolls on back inside of the dome before the hatch automatically closes. That hatch looks like your only way in."

"Wonderful. My only way inside literally houses a security scanner."

"That's why I'll have to take it out," The marine confidently explained.

"Won't that risk setting off alarms?"

"For one little disabled droid? Maybe some, but I doubt they'll sound the bells and whistles. I'll use fire pellets instead of bullets. I want to short it out, not blow it up. Hopefully it will seem like a random malfunction at first. If I can hit it as soon as it rolls into view you should have enough time to run for it and make it inside the automatic hatch before it closes and the bot returns."

"And then?"

"And then you're on your own, Ma'am. Unless you call us in for backup, that is. We have no way of knowing where the best place for you to plug in will be."

D'Anna nodded.

"That's alright. That's my department anyway. You just...watch my back."

"Yes Ma'am," The young man promised.

"So are you ready, Sergeant? Cause the suspense is getting a bit...old."

"Shhh. Just as soon as the bot does its next round," He answered as he dropped to one knee and took his rucksack from his back.

Carefully and quietly he removed a silencer from his pack and attached it to his shock rifle while D'Anna observed the enemy security sequence from behind their cover.

She committed the timing to memory rather easily. Bot walks round to the other side, hatch opens, droid rolls outside, scans the area, bot rounds the bend again, droid rolls back inside, hatch closes. She had it down. Now she just had to hope that the sergeant was a half decent shot and that Margot and her scout had found an easier way in on the other side of the planet.

LOCATION: PLANET EARTH

WESTERN HEMISPHERE

SOMEWHERE WITHIN THE FORMER UNITED WEST SECTOR

YEAR: 2316

Unfortunately for Margot there was no easy way into the hub. Her scout had come up with relatively the same plan of action as the eastern team had to get her into the building.

They hid behind some broken old fencing. The lead marine didn't want to waste any time and within minutes of deciding on their strategy he was almost ready to give Margot the okay to go.

"Start out slow. When you get about halfway there I'm gunna shoot the droid."

"I sure hope you're a good shot," Margot scoffed at the thought of bullets flying at her back.

"Don't worry about that. I won't hit you, Specialist. When you hear my fire run like hell into the hatch. Got it?"

"Yeah. I guess so," Margot conceded as she bit her lip and clenched her fists.

"Alright, Specialist. Good luck to you. I'll be out here waiting to celebrate when you return."

Margot nodded. She didn't know how else to respond. She wasn't sure what she'd been expecting, but in her mind she hadn't anticipated everything that it would all move so quickly.

"On my mark;" The marine began. "Three...two...one…"

The sergeant's lips said 'go'. Margot saw it, but what she heard was the deafening pop of gunfire. His voice had been drowned out as the loud crack shattered the air around them. The marine's eyes went wild as he swiveled on his knees scrambling to see where the sound had come from.

Margot ducked lower when yet another series of pops rang out.

"Shit! Shit! Where's it coming from!?" She shouted, running back to her scout's side.

She'd drawn her sidearm but had no idea where to aim.

"I don't kno...Fuck!" The marine exclaimed. "We've been spotted, Specialist. Two biped bots coming this way!" He rattled off as he dipped past the edge of the fencing and took aim.

He let out one, two, three, four shots in rapid succession before falling back and crouching with his rifle in hand.

"Take my sidearm," He told Margot. "Better have both hands full. They're coming this way."

"Fuck!" She swore as she grabbed the gun from his hip.

"Specialist, this next time I'm gunna give em' everything I've got. I want you to step back aim high over my head and go for their noggins, got it?"

Margot shook her head.

"I've never shot anything other than practice targets!"

"You're an officer. You're trained for this. You can do it."

"But we need backup!"

"Don't worry. We have it. They see what's happening," The sergeant assured her. "Here they come, Le Blanc. Let's do this!"

The marine dipped out from their cover and began to fire before either bot ever came into Margot's view. She could hear him screaming for her to shoot but she hesitated. The sergeant fell back just as a slew of bullets zoomed beside the fence.

"When I shoot you shoot, Le Blanc! What gives!?"

"I couldn't see!"

"Now! Go now!" He said as he leaned to the side of the fencing and took aim once more.

This time as directed Margot fell in line behind him and aimed high. She could finally see the menacing beings charging in their direction. She hated the sight of them. Tall, spindly, wretched machines. They were everything that she loathed in the world. They were why she'd grown up in the middle of a war, they were why it had taken her over twenty years to finally inhale a breath of natural unfiltered oxygen. Worst of all, they were why she'd been born in the first place. As the sergeant's rifle went off again she unloaded both weapons in a fury.

"Fall back! Fall back!" The marine screamed as he did so himself, taking cover behind the fence once more.
"I missed! I missed them!" Margot ranted in frustration.

"These fucking things! I hit em both twice and it didn't bring em down," The marine complained. "We need a headshot."

"Where the hell are the others!?"

When more bullets flew past the fence the sergeant once again leaned out and returned fire with Margot at his back doing the same.

With another few rounds spent the sergeant ordered Margot to fall back once more.

"Damn it," She raged. "We're fucked!"

Their cuffs buzzed in tandem before the voice of one of the tail marines sounded through it's speaker.

"We're on our way. We have you in our sights. We've called for the other's."

"Roger," The sergeant replied."Listen, Specialist you're gunna have to run for it."

"What?!"

"Before they lock down the whole facility. It's your only chance in."

"Now!?"

"Other bots are bound to show up any time. Once the others get here we're just gunna be holding them all off until you can get the job done! You've gotta get in there!"

"How!?"

They both flinched as more bullets flew over the fence.

The sergeant put his rifle at his feet and then swiftly removed his pack. With a quick zip he had the rucksack opened. Before Margot could venture to guess what the man was looking for he pulled out a small egg shaped device.

"A grenade!?"

"Shhh!"

"They'll shoot us dead in the time it'll take you to toss that thing!" Margot chided.

"That's why I won't be tossing it," The sergeant told her as more gunfire sounded.

"What?"

"I want you to take this and go to the other end of the fence. Watch me. When I step back out to fire at those brass assholes I want you to run for the hub."

"How do I know there aren't more out there waiting!"

"You don't but this is it."

Margot grimaced.

"What's the bomb for?"

"My rifle alone is no match for two bots with multiple types of built-in ammo," The sergeant began to explain in haste. "While I have them distracted returning my fire I want you to run like hell. As soon as you get past them detonate the grenade by pushing the top button down with your thumb. Throw it at their backs and keep running. Hopefully it'll take em' out and maybe I'll live to see you come back out of that dumbass dome."

"I-I've never thrown one," Margot sputtered. "I'm an engineer."

"You play ball?" The marine asked.

"I used to."

"Pretend it's a ball. Aim, throw and hope for the best. Then grab your sidearm. Shoot the shit out of that little droid and get into the hatch."

"What if there are more bots in there?"

"From what we've seen it's all automated. Get in and plug in. At this point it's a crap shoot."

More bullets blew over head and a few hit the metal of the fencing causing them both to flinch.

"Now or never, Le Blanc."

Their cuffs buzzed again.

"We're about thirty klicks away," The voice of one of the other marines informed.

The sergeant shook his head in dismissal.

"We don't have time to wait for them. Here," He said as he passed Margot the handheld bomb.

She took it from him. It was already warm from his hands.

"Go. Head for the edge of the fence. I'll yell for ya right before I step out. Now go!"

Margot hesitated for only a moment before she turned and ran the expanse of the old rusted fence serving as their barricade. When she got to the end she put her back to the sheet metal and leaned against it. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before she looked down at the marine a few yards away. He gave her a quick thumbs up before shouldering his rifle. Margot watched him wondering if she'd ever see him again.

"NOW!" He roared with a deep guttural growl before leaning out and releasing fire on the waiting bots.

Margot turned and sprinted out from behind her cover. She clutched the grenade in her right hand, keeping her gun in her left. In her peripheries she could see the gangly alloy demons firing away in the sergeant's direction. They hadn't noticed her, not yet. She was almost past them.

She ran so fast that she could hear the wind in her ears whirring over the sound of the booming guns. When she was finally far enough behind the bots she turned her head, still keeping up with her hurried pace. She could see their backs. She looked forward only for a moment to gauge the distance of the hatch and the droid. With another look behind her she thumbed the grenade's tiny detonation button. She waited for it to begin its tell-tale beeping and then threw the little bomb as hard as she could. Without waiting for the timed explosion she turned forward and aimed right for the droid with her pistol. She shot five times mid-sprint before it began to smoke. She was almost to the hatch when she saw it beginning to close. With all of her might she charged toward it. Panic began to rise within her. She wasn't going to make it. It was going to shut. She had to do something. As the sound of the grenade went off behind her Margot lunged her body forward and dove into the narrow opening left in the hatchway.

Her body slammed to the ground and in the next moment she heard the door slam behind her.

For a moment she was frozen. She opened her clenched eyes and looked around letting her pupils adjust to the strange lighting. She'd fallen on unforgiving polished poured concrete. Her skin burned from the impact but nothing seemed broken. She was out of breath. She knew that she needed to get up, but she still felt stuck. The adrenaline rush from her mad-dash was beginning to wane. Then she heard it. Behind the closed hatch the sounds of guns rang out; more guns than there had been before. Had she missed her target? She hadn't had time to even look to see if the bomb had landed anywhere close to them. Had more bots shown up? Were the other marines finally there? She didn't know, but she did know that it meant that she had precious little time.

Forcing herself, Margot got to her stinging knees and looked around the hub. The interior of the domed structure was simple. The floor was solid concrete and the rounded walls some kind of composite metal. The lighting from above was dull and blueish casting a cold hue over the entire establishment even though in contrast the temperature was stuffy and warm. As she looked up she found a series of metal catwalks each higher than the next, all connected by ladders. At the end of each row of catwalks sat a transmitter intermittently blinking, no doubt within the rhythm of the whole cursed network.

Sharon and D'Anna had said that any one of them would work. She just needed to get to one and find a way to plug in. To do that first she had to climb.

Margot got to her feet. She put her sidearm in its holster and the sergeant's weapon in her utility belt. For her own reassurance she patted the zippered pocket where the virus drive still sat. From the outside she heard another series of booms and she knew that there was no way they had come from a simple bipedal bot or an Orbit rifle. Whatever it was coming from was bigger than that.

Bracing herself she walked up to the nearest ladder and hoisted herself upward.

LOCATION: PLANET EARTH

EASTERN HEMISPHERE

SOMEWHERE WITHIN THE FORMER EASTERN REPUBLIC SECTOR

YEAR: 2316

On the other side of Earth the entry plan had gone far more smoothly.

D'Anna stood on the ground floor of the hub's dome carefully examining its layout. The transmitters were easy to spot, located alternatingly on the very right and very left of each catwalk. Any one of them would do the job, but she wanted to be relatively out of sight just in case the building was entered from the ground floor.
For a moment she stopped to listen. The hub hummed with the familiar sound of electricity and the whole interior smelled like ozone. Upon making it to the first ladder D'Anna grabbed hold of its sides and climbed it with grace; the care and deliberate movements she took seemingly effortless in nature. She made it to the first catwalk a good twenty feet above the the ground floor. She walked the expanse of the scaffolding until she made it to the first transmitter. It was a simple device; rectangular, with a few buttons which she could only guess the function of. There were half a dozen blinking blue and green lights on the top and on its side a pop-out panel.

Reaching for her utility belt D'Anna unclasped a small pocket and removed her knife. Without any hesitation she stuck the dull end of the blade into the side of the panel cover and popped it off. The tin piece fell to the catwalk with a clang that reverberated through the entire facility. D'Anna pocketed her knife and turned on the flashlight of her cuff to peer into the transmitter box. The series of wires inside looked like a bunch of cold Colonial Tauron noodles, but it was easy to spot the one that she needed. The main transmission line was thick and translucent, the strings of copper inside totally visible. It would do the trick. She was ready to climb a few levels higher in order to give herself a bit more cover to start her upload. Just as she took her first step forward toward the next ladder she heard it; the clang of the hatch opening. D'Anna froze in her tracks, still as a statue of some false Colonial deity. The hatch sounded again, this time closing hard and echoing through the dome. She prayed to God that it was only the automatic timer for the now incapacitated droid, but when she heard the sound of chromed clomping feet against the concrete she knew that she had company. Remaining still D'Anna looked down at her feet. The catwalk was constructed out of small-holed aluminum sheeting meant to provide ventilation throughout the dome. It allowed her to see the bulbous head of the bot that stomped below. She observed it as it walked a few feet to the left and then a few to the right scanning the area. Her choice was made quickly. She patiently waited until the wayward being was directly under her feet and withdrew her sidearm. With a smirk she clanged her station cuff antagonistically against the catwalk's railing and then leaned over taking aim. As the eyeless head of the bot looked up at her she shot three times in rapid succession, each bullet hitting the center of its absent face. As the booms echoed through the dome the bot crumbled into a heap on the floor.

D'Anna returned her gun to its holster and leaned over the railing with both hands.

"I'll pray for your soul," She told the pile of scrap below her before turning and making her way to the next ladder.

She had no time to get to the top. There would be more bots coming. A few levels up and she would have a bit more cover to work.

When D'Anna arrived at her chosen transmitter she sat beside it. Swiftly but carefully she removed the panel covering with her knife just as she had with the first. She then went to her zippered breast pocket and removed the drive that held the virus. She palmed it and squeezed it within her fist. She'd watched Margot work tirelessly to create it. It was a deadly weapon trapped within a few simple circuits. She had never been more proud of anything or anyone. Placing it and her knife beside her she went to her belt and removed a small pack of sanitizing swabs. With her right hand she rolled up her left sleeve to reveal the target mark that Sharon had marked on her skin. She'd chuckled when her sister had insisted on the silly spot of ink. She knew very well where she had to plug in, but she'd obliged nonetheless just as the others had. Taking the first swab, D'Anna opened its foil and removed it. She wiped the cold damp fiber over the inside of her arm just above her wrist and down to her palm to prep the area. She then took another swab, removed it from the wrapping and picked up her knife to clean its blade. With nothing else to wait for she sliced along the inked line in one fluid motion. With her port opened she took her blade and wiped off the excess blood on her cargo pants before dropping it to her side to pick up the drive. With the wound in her arm beating wither her pulse D'Anna slid open the portable drive and held it right above the clean slice.

"God in heaven, guide my child's hands as you guide mine and see her to her destiny."

When D'Anna's prayer was done she fed the drive into her flesh and set it to upload.

The three minutes it took for the virus to load within the stream of her body felt like hours. As she blocked it from infiltrating her own software she sweat right through her borrowed Orbit fatigues. The humid temperature of the dome did nothing to help her situation. Nauseated from the constant struggle D'Anna yanked out the used drive and threw it over her shoulder. She then retrieved her knife with less than steady hands. As she struggled to her knees she had to swallow a surge of bile that rose within her throat. Reaching inside the transmitter she pulled the main network cable from the opened box and yanked it loose. After a few more tugs of the cord to gain enough slack she took her knife and cut it to expose its coppery center.

With one more prayer D'Anna took a breath and fed the end of the spliced cable painfully into the open port in her arm.

"Lord, let this work."

LOCATION: PLANET EARTH

WESTERN HEMISPHERE

SOMEWHERE WITHIN THE FORMER UNITED WEST SECTOR

YEAR: 2316

Within the hub on the other hemisphere Margot kneeled by the transmitter located on the second level catwalk. The drive was already stuck into her arm and the upload in progress. She'd carefully followed all of Sharon and Ellen's instructions. She did everything the way she was supposed to and now the virus that she'd created was coursing through the cylon stream within her. She felt so unbelievably sick. As a full cylon she'd rarely picked up the colds and flus of those around her on Delta Station. Though she'd experienced a few past meals that had disagreed with her she'd never felt as ill as she did sitting there on her knees fighting a virus of her own creation. Her stomach continued to churn and her hair was as wet as if she'd just left the showers. The heat within the dome was making the nauseous sweating so much worse and she suddenly missed the cold dry air of the space stations.

When the upload was done Margot pulled the drive from her arm, dropped it and fell forward bracing herself with her injured palm. Unable to stop herself she wretched and the awful sound echoed in her ears. She knew that she had to compose herself, but shielding her own software from the virus was proving harder than she'd imagined. Unable to help herself Margot heaved once more, but this time the sound of her struggle was masked by an unexpected clatter. She knew before she ever looked down that she was no longer alone.

Through the pinholes of the catwalk she saw a single bot standing on the ground level.

Margot wanted to scream. Incapacitated and in the middle of her mission she had little energy to spare. She could shoot, but unless it was a killshot on the first try she'd be starting a fight that she had little hope of winning. The battle sounds from outside of the hub were suddenly louder. She couldn't see the entrance, but Margot guessed that the clattering had been the bot blowing off the door to the hatch. There was only one reason why they would use such force upon their own structure; they had to suspect that it had been compromised. They knew that she was there or at least they had an idea.

Margot had to make a choice quickly. As the bot surveyed the ground floor she carefully and quietly collected her knife and got to her unsteady feet. She looked above to the rows and rows of levels. She had to get as high as she could manage without being detected. The extra space would give her the time to plug in and start the download of the virus even if she was spotted.
As carefully as she could she began to make her way upwards.

The draining and painful climb of the first ladder proved to Margot that she had little hope of making it much further. Her arm throbbed and her elevated pulse was causing it to bleed more and more. If her focus slipped the virus would kill her. She just needed some more space between her the bot. At the next ladder she bit down on her lip and braced herself as she pulled her weight up the rungs. Her body was damp with perspiration and hummed deeply with the threat of infection. As she finally hoisted herself onto the next walk she momentarily laid down and rested her cheek against the metal surface, cool in contrast to her flush and heated skin. She could climb no more. Four levels up would have to suffice. Unable to make it to her feet Margot crawled on her hands and knees to the transmitter as softly and quietly as she could. Several times she had to fight off the powerful urge to dry heave in fear of the sound that it would make. Her bloody palm left slick prints as she pulled herself closer and closer to her destination. Finally at the transmitter box she reached for her knife with her good hand. There was no way around it; popping the panel cover was going to make noise. She just had to try and make it as minimal as she could. Still on her sore knees she stuck the dull edge of her blood smeared blade into the side of the panel and mustered the strength to force it off. It came free with a loud pop and flew into the air. With her arm weakend and the other holding onto her precious knife she couldn't reach out to grab it. The tin panel fell four stories to the ground floor and clattered loudly against the hard concrete. Margot cringed at the echoing sound. Her eyes watered and her lips trembled. The noise reverberated through the dome and when the vibrations stopped they were replaced by the sound of angry stomping.

LOCATION: PLANET EARTH

EASTERN HEMISPHERE

SOMEWHERE WITHIN THE FORMER EASTERN REPUBLIC SECTOR

YEAR: 2316

On the other side of Earth in the forest cover of the old Eastern Republic Helo was getting ready for combat.
"Load up! Let's go! That's an airbot coming from the south!" He shouted to the three marine guards as he watched the enemy ship flying in the distance. It had already fired several warning shots indicating that it knew where they were.

"Everyone get in and strap up!"

"Captain, there's bound to be more than that coming. What are you gunna do? Shoot em all down yourself?"

"I dunno," Helo answered. "But this ship is the biggest weapon we have and our only protection so get in and shut up."

With the remaining ground crew aboard the shuttle Helo boarded the ship himself. Taking his seat he swiped at his cuff.

"Ground team, this is base," Helo alerted the marines standing watch by the hub. "We've got company. Any news on D'Anna?"

"Negative, base," His cuff sounded with the voice of one of the marines. "She's still in there."

"Frak!" Helo shouted not bothering to reply.

He quickly donned his helmet and strapped in as the airBot flew even closer letting out more shots through the air.

"Helo, this is Alpha Actual," The shuttle's com system sounded. "Stay cautious of your limited ammo. Do not fire unless fired upon."

"Little late for that, Alpha Actual," Helo responded with a roll of his eyes.

"What the hell are you gunna do, Cap?" One marine shouted from behind.

"It's shooting at us. I'm gunna shoot the frak back!" He stated as he watched the menacing aircraft become larger in his view. "Brace for take-off," He told them. "In three, two, one…"

As Helo prepared to pull back on his controls he suddenly froze in place. His eyes stayed stunned forward watching the site from above.

"Good frakkin' gods!" He gawked as he watched the display before him.

"Captain Agathon? What's the problem," An anxious marine called from the back.

Helo shook his head and began to grin to himself within his helmet.

"Why don't you come up here and see for yourself, private."

The confused marine unfastened his harness and made his way to the cockpit in time to see the falling airBot crash down into a fiery heap upon a grassy meadow acres away.

"Holy shit!" The marine exclaimed. "What happened to that thing!?"

"It fell from the frakkin' sky! That's what happened!" Helo excitingly described. "Motherfrakker lost control and then spiraled into the ground!"

"It malfunctioned?" The puzzled private guessed.

"No," Helo said with emphatic confidence. "No, that thing died in the air!"

"Sir?"

"It means D'Anna did it!" Helo exclaimed. "She infected the network on this side of the planet. She's got em. They're frakkin' goners!"

LOCATION: PLANET EARTH

WESTERN HEMISPHERE

SOMEWHERE WITHIN THE FORMER UNITED WEST SECTOR

YEAR: 2316

When Margot heard the clamorous steps of the bot climbing the ladder of the first catwalk her mind almost slipped. She felt it. She had been so dangerously close to releasing the virus into her whole body. She was losing strength and concentration. She had no time left to spare. With a trembling bloody finger she turned on the light of her cuff. Sitting up on her knees she leaned into the open panel of the transmitter. With the help of the light she located the main network cable and began to tug. With every clomping metallic stomp Margot's heart beat faster. She pulled at the cable, but it was taught and her hand was far too shaky to get a good grip. Trying again with both hands she began to tug and tug, slipping a few times with the slippery fluid of her blood. When it was finally slack enough she fumbled in her utility belt for the knife. The footsteps were getting higher. She had to finish. She had to plug in. At least then she would have a free hand to grab her gun. Her bloodied hands struggled to cut the slick translucent cord. She grew frantic and began to saw at it. In her panic she slipped, cutting the fingers of her good hand but she hardly felt it. When the last string of copper came loose from the cord she let go of the blood coated blade and tightly grasped the cable. Her injured arm felt like dead weight as she lifted it. There was so much blood that it was hard to see where the actual cut existed. It was the pain that radiated from it that helped her to locate the essential wound. Margot bit her tongue hard and began to insert the network cable. Once it was far enough inside she felt it make its connection. She finally began to release the virus into the live wire and with the download in progress she no longer felt the hot pressurised threat of viral infiltration within herself. She fell to her bottom heaving to catch her breath as her body surged to expel her digital weapon.

Margot's free hand went to her sidearm when she she heard the bot embark on another ladder. She pulled it out and held it limply at her side. She couldn't take aim toward the steps where she knew the bot would appear from. She didn't have the strength. She'd never be able to hold her stance. She had to wait until she could see it to aim and fire.

Margot felt the rattling of the scaffolding below. The bot wasn't far from the last ladder but the download wasn't yet done. She couldn't pull the cord out and attempt to climb higher. There wouldn't be any more chances to try again. She had to stay put, tethered to her people's only hope.

The catwalk shook when the bot took hold of the last ladder. Margot willed the download to finish but it was still transferring unbearably slow. Her heart clenched within her chest threatening to overwhelm her with a sense of defeat. The catwalk clanged as the raucid claw like hands of the bot appeared on the surface. Margot braced herself and tried to steady her weapon in her hand. She wouldn't be able to move much. There were just a few inches of give on the cable. If she moved too much she would lose the connection and the download would fail.

The menacing metelline creature pulled its length up the rest of the ladder and then stood to its feet. It looked left and then right where it spotted the source of the disturbance.

Margot shivered as she watched it spot her. It was terrifying to be seen by something with no eyes.

Its claw clicked into a pistol and as it took its first step forward she gathered her strength, lifted her gun as high as she could and shot first.

The machine had only a narrow pathway and no place to take cover. Her bullet clipped its thigh making it wobble. When it straightened out its anger became apparent.

It began to charge for her.

Margot shot a few more times, each a miss as her arm grew weaker. The download continued on and she couldn't even move to other side of the transmitter for cover. She just needed a few more seconds. It was so close to finishing. She could feel it. She screamed out as she shot again. This time the bot stopped its stride and returned fire. With Margot's bullets flying toward it on the narrow walkway the lanky mechanism struggled to aim.

It missed with the first few shots and then Margot felt the impact of the last one. Stunned at the force of the hit her mouth dropped open. Her wrist began to tremble. She shot a few more rogue bullets from her gun before she dropped it and her hand went to her gut. Her eyes grew in size as she felt the wet warmth on her her palm seeping through her combat gear.

Margot looked back up to the enemy that was once again charging for her. It was coming to finish her off. She screamed out as it seemed to lunge for her and then fell flat onto its nonexistent face.

Margot was confused for a moment. Had it tripped? Had it fallen? Was it getting back up?

Just as she realized what had in fact occurred the dome hissed and its lights began to flicker. With a final click the lighting went out and Margot found herself alone in the darkness. Bleeding and struggling to breathe she took her hand from where it covered the bullet wound and felt around for the now dead cable that still lead into her arm. With no one left to hide from she screamed out as she yanked it from her burning flesh letting the sound of her pain echo all around her.

Beyond the dome Husker's shuttle landed in the dirt as he watched airBots continue to fall from the sky.

When Margot's escort team had called for backup he'd loaded the rest of the marines up in the shuttle and headed for the hub. They'd found their men outnumbered and in the midsts of a losing ground fight. Husker temporarily landed his ship allowing the few marines aboard to disembark to join the battle. With an empty shuttle he took flight, using his bird's guns to pick off the bots that he could from above. He watched from the cockpit as they lost half of their team. Margot was nowhere to be seen. A tank filled with bots had arrived and though he was able to fire at the vehicle from the air until it burst into flames half a dozen of its passengers had jumped out and joined in the already disproportionate warfare. Bill had been sure that the remaining marines were about to fire their last bullets. He was shooting every bot that he could from the air, but he knew that the soldiers on the ground couldn't hide from behind their makeshift barricades for much longer. Just as he'd lost all hope something peculiar began to occur. The gangling silver bodies that had only just been sturdily raining fire upon his men and women began to crumble to the dirt beneath their mechanized feet. The gunshots abruptly ceased. Surrounded by new silence Bill was able to hear the sounds in the distance. Whistling zooms rang out, each followed by a dull explosion. He looked up to see airBots falling from the atmosphere past the treeline.

He knew then that Margot had done it.

With no com system to alert the station he wasted no time in landing his shuttle.

With fumbling hands Bill struggled to get out of his harness. In moments the ramp of the shuttle was extended and he was on the ground again. The remaining three marines rushed his ship shouting and cheering, but Bill couldn't allow himself to join their festive acclaims. Not yet. He'd brought a frightened young women down to the surface to save her people and he wouldn't celebrate until he saw her face.

"Where's the Specialist?" He asked the jubilant group.
"Assume she's still in there, Sir," One marine answered.

"Should we assemble a recon?" Another asked between handshakes and pats on the back. "Head on in?"

Without answering Bill rounded the shuttle to face the dome of the deadened hub. He immediately noticed the hatchway. The scorch marks on the frame showed that the door had been blown or shot clear off.

The ground crew followed behind him as he walked toward the entry.

Bill stopped some feet away and squinted into the black void inside.

"Sir?" A marine called from behind him. "Should we head in?"

Bill didn't hear the private's question. What he heard was a muffled groan followed by a short grunt just as Margot appeared at the bottom of the darkened doorway.

"Margot," Bill said, but his voice hardly made a sound.

She dragged herself forward with dirty bloodied fingers until she crossed the threshold and finally let herself rest.

They all ran to her.

"Shit!" The lead marine shouted. "Get the medkit! Get the medkit!"

The others rained questions over her, trying to asses her condition, but Bill's breath had been sucked from his lungs upon seeing the girl's wretched form and he could say nothing.

He dropped to his knees and turned her over to lay on her back revealing the bullet wound.

"She's been shot!" He finally managed to hoarsely shout.

"Get the damn med kit!" The sergeant yelled over again to the private who was already running like hell toward the shuttle to retrieve it.

The lead marine dropped to his knees and removed his combat jacket. Folding it twice

he placed it upon Margot's bleeding stomach and applied pressure.

"See? I told you could do it, kid," The anxious young man tried to encourage. "Engineer my ass. You chucked that grenade just like boot-stompin' marine."

"Margot?" Bill called as he watched the girl struggling to keep her grey eyes open. "Margot, what happened? Can you tell me?"

When she attempted to speak she suddenly started to cough instead, spurting blood with each heave.

Bill's bones chilled and his stomach sunk at the sight of the crimson spray.

"That's okay, don't talk," He told her. "Don't try and talk. It's okay. It's okay. I've got you. You're okay, Margot. Don't talk. I see. I see it. It's okay..."

Their com system was still out. They had no way of calling for help. The virus had only been active for mere minutes on the surface. There was no doubt that the stations had noticed their success, but without a com system they would have no way of knowing when or if the others would succeed in Orbit. Bill knew that if he loaded Margot up onto the shuttle and took off for Alpha he would most likely be flying into Orbit combat. They'd be dealing with a trapped enemy with nothing left to lose.

Margot had suffered a gut shot. She was deathly pale, she could hardly breathe, and Bill could see what was happening.
He leaned over and cupped her scarlet splattered cheek.

"You're okay, Margot. You'll be alright," He lied.

Two marines arrived with a backboard stretcher, the medkit and a neck brace.

"Should we load her up, Admiral?" One of them asked. "We could go to Captain Agathon's designated coordinates. Use their com system once we get there."

Margot gasped for air and more blood escaped her lips while tears ran from the corners of her eyes.

Bill stomached lurched as he watched her desperately struggling for a breath. He turned to the marines and looked at them with watery eyes. He silently shook his head telling them all that they needed to know.

He turned back and gestured for the sergeant holding the pressure on her wound to stop.

The marine did as he was told. Crushed in defeat he silently said goodbye to the specialist and left her side.

When he was gone Bill took hold of Margot's shoulders and pulled her into his lap.
As he held onto her she opened her eyes to look up at him.

"I did it," She struggled to mouth.

"You did, Margot," Bill smiled down at her through his tears. "You sure did. You did it."

She nodded and closed her eyes again unable to keep them open any longer.

"Everyone's going to be so proud of you, Margot," Bill continued as he began to gently rock her. "Do you know that? Your mom and Saul and Ellen. Katya and Sydra. D'Anna, Sharon, Anders too. They'll all be so proud. I'm proud of you. So proud. So very proud. You saved your people. You're a hero. Do you understand that?" He said as he held her tightly.

With her eyes still closed Margot gave the weeping Admiral the whisper of a blood stained smile.

"Born to serve," Her lips said without a sound.

Bill nodded and thumbed lightly at her cheek.

"You did. You did good, Margot. You're alright. You're alright. You did it," Bill recited over and over as he held her in his arms until he felt the last bit of life leave her body.

For a few quiet minutes he stayed rocking the lost young girl's body letting his tears fall freely.

Eventually a sergeant approached him.

"Sir?"

Bill sucked in a deep shuddering breath before he spoke.

"Prepare the team for take off. We're going to join Captain Agathon."

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR C

MILITARY ARMS LOCKER A06

YEAR: 2316

After gunfire was heard in close range of the arms locker the three marine guards decided to leave their charge under the momentary watch of the centurion. If there was an enemy presence nearby then they needed to take it out before they could go on, or at the very least, scout another direction. The plan was for them to go back out into the hall. One would stay near the arms locker patrolling the general area. The other two would split off into opposite directions to get a better look at any action in the connecting hallways. They had assured the captain that they would be back within five minutes. It was now long past and Katya could no longer hear the steps of the marine who was supposed to be patrolling just outside the door.

"Katya."

Laura crouched down on her knees not far from where the captain was taking cover. In the center of the room Vladi stood on guard, ever watchful of the two souls in his care.
Katya kept her eyes forward. She peered over the four-foot stack in front of her just enough to see the hatch. All of her senses were on high alert. Her ears were perked and waiting for any sound of the marine's return, her eyes squinted looking for any changes in the lighting beyond the entryway. For not the first time in her life she felt like a cat waiting to pounce. She tried her best to block out the growing number of booms that reverberated through the station's structure. She wasn't flying and it was out of her control. She so badly wished that she could be in her bird shooting back at every bomb and bullet that threatened her home, but she had to focus on what was happening aboard Alpha, not outside in Orbit.

"Katya," Laura repeated.

"Shhh, Laura," Katya warned for what felt like the tenth time. Laura had been calling her name since they took cover. Her whispering voice was making it increasingly difficult to concentrate. "They'll be back. We'll get there. It's just…gunna take a little longer," She continued, hoping that it would be enough to comfort the frightened women and keep her quiet for a while. "We'll be safer once we get to the deck. We just have to find an alternate…"

"Katya, listen to me," Laura interrupted her daughter's placating in a low but forceful tone.

"What?" Katya snapped in return, more than just a little frustrated with the incessantness.

She kept her eyes on the door, only glancing in Laura's general direction for a split second.

"What you said before," Laura began. "I can't let it go…I just…"

"For fuck sake," Katya interrupted with an exasperated huff. "Just hold on to the stupid gun and hope that you don't have to use it."

"No," Laura shook her head even though Katya wasn't looking at her. "Not that."

Katya grimaced in the dark, Laura's voice hardly registering. The marines should have been back already. She was beyond the point of worried. Now she had to start to plan for the eventuality that they wouldn't return at all.

"They are taking too long," She sighed. "This isn't good."

"Katya you said..." Laura persisted. She needed to get it out before she started to glitch again. "You said that I didn't want you."

That time Katya heard her and it was enough to get her attention for a moment.

"You're right," Laura added.

The girl rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"Gee, thanks for the confirmation," She snorted before looking back to the hatch. "Damn it. Where the hell are they?" She muttered.

She wondered how well she and Vladi could even maneuver through the infiltrated halls. If it were only them she'd be more confident. With Laura in tow to protect she couldn't be so bold.

"I didn't. I never did," Laura continued to impress her point despite Katya's lack of attention. "But you have to know that I do now."

Katya couldn't believe what she was hearing. She'd asked Laura to be quiet yet she was choosing to spill her guts instead.

"Laura, why are you telling me this?"

Laura licked her lips. Her mouth was parched from their run and from the sheer terror that was running through her body.

"Because, Katya, I think you need to hear it. You need to understand it and gods do I ever need to say it."
"Shit, Laura," Katya said with a sideways glance, "This is not the time or place."

She had to make her shut up. What was going on? First Ellen had let loose on her for the first time that she could remember. Now Laura was trying to give her some kind of secondary lecture. She was just trying to do her job. What was with these women?

"I didn't want to be a mother. That's true. But now that you're here, now that I'm here, now that you exist and I've met you I can't say that anymore."

Katya didn't want to listen to anything Laura was saying but she couldn't help but hear her words. The fact that Laura was choosing such an inopportune time to unload her conscience made Katya uneasy. It was like she was unburdening herself during last rights. Didn't she believe that they would make it? Had she already lost hope?

"You don't have to say anything, Laura. Just be quiet. We'll get on our way soon."

Laura had to keep going. She had to tell her daughter the whole truth. As she watched the girl, gun in hand ready to shoot at anything that might come at them she couldn't let another moment go by. She couldn't allow her child to believe that she was unwanted any longer.

"You have no idea how I long to know what it felt like to carry you," She professed. Through the shadows she saw Katya stiffen at her raw candor. She watched her eyes grow wide and jaw go stiff. "I think of it all the time. I look at pictures and lab footage and I try to imagine what it was like to feel you move and kick. You don't know how I wish that I had even the slightest memory of your birth. Even with all of the pain I've been through in my past I would gladly take on the recollection of more just to remember the day you were born."

Katya felt her body starting to shake and it wasn't out of fear for their current situation. Her nerves and her emotions were failing her. It wasn't fair. She needed to be steady and on point.

"Laura…" She tried to interject, but the other woman just kept emoting line after line.

"And you don't know how much I wish that I could have spent even just one day of your childhood with you. I wish that I could remember it all; your birth, your first steps, your first day of school and graduation. I'll never get any of that. I will long for it all, pine for it all until the day I die again. But I am so grateful to have you now. I'm so frakking grateful for every day that I have had with you, good or bad…"

"Laura, I…"

"Katya, what I'm trying to say is…I know that Ellen is your mother. I see that. I understand it. I'm glad that you've had her for all of these years. I even wish you that you had her in your life sooner. I wish she could have been with you, loving you from the start. I know that she is who you think of as your mom, but…I need you to know that…I think of you as my daughter. No matter how you think of me...when I look at you I see my child." Laura swallowed back her tears and clenched her fists. She was bracing herself. She wanted to tell Katya that she loved her. It was time. There was no reason to keep it from her anymore. They were in peril. She might never get another chance. It was a simple and honest phrase and it should have been so easy for her to say to her own daughter and yet it still wouldn't flow from her lips. "You said that you've waited for me your whole life. Katya, I'm here. I'm right here with you."

Through the hatch they heard the trudge of boots charging down the hall. More gunfire rang out. It was getting closer. They heard the familiar sound of Vladi's limber digits clicking into pistols. He was ready and Katya knew that they had to be too.
The hatch suddenly screeched open.

"Laura get down," Katya warned.

Laura dipped behind the low stack of crates as Katya took aim.

"We need to take cover, Cap!" A frantic voice alerted.

It was one of their escorts returning in a state of alarm.

"Where are the others?" Katya asked, momentarily dropping her weapon.

"All men down. It's just me left. They're coming this way. If we can hide they may pass the room up," He surmised as he closed the hatch before joining them behind their makeshift barricade. "Once they get far enough past us we'll head out in the other direction."

"Vladi, stand closer by the hatch," Katya ordered.

"Corporal setup behind that stack. Keep weapons drawn."

"Katya…" Laura called in a low worried voice.

Her vision was beginning to glitch again. She was starting to panic.

"Shh, Laura. It's alright. Just stay down and don't shoot a damn thing unless I tell you to. It'll be okay."

The booming of the station's cannons seemed to vibrate more powerfully under them. The bulkhead shook as Alpha took hit after hit and the sounds in the halls neared.
Laura was terrified but she couldn't make herself remain aware in the moment any longer. It was happening again. It was just like on Galactica. It was just like the Opera House. The images flickered in and out until the scenery around her changed completely. She closed her eyes tight and then opened them hoping that the vision would stop but it didn't. She saw the same eerie space from her dream. The floor shined black beneath her. When she looked up at what had just been the tall stacks of arsenal crates she saw them as the crystal pillars from her nightmare. As Alpha rumbled Laura's vision blinked away and the pillars turned back into stacks of trunks that precariously rattled with every vibration of the station.

The ominous rumbles that reverberated through the walls suddenly started to become more frequent.

"It's okay, Laura," Katya whispered in her direction. "The station can take it. Alpha is strong."

Laura nodded in acknowledgment. Though she wasn't sure how much she believed Katya she couldn't help but be touched at how her own child was trying to comfort and reassure her. She wished that it were the other way around.

The distinct menacing sound of metal on metal began to clank its way down the hall and pulled their focus to the hatch, making them forget for a moment that the space station was being bombed at a rapid rate.

As Katya looked to Vladi she watched him take a ready stance.

The clomping sound grew louder and then abruptly stopped in front of the arms locker entrance. They all went stiff.

There was thump and then a loud creaking screech at the door. They all knew that it was being forced open and there was little doubt that it was by bots.

Katya just hoped that it was only one and that Vladi would be able to take it down before it even got a chance to poke its ugly chromed head into the room. She silently motioned for the corporal to dip a little lower. She then steadied her weapon on the trunk in front of her.

"Don't move," Katya mouthed to Laura where she kneeled on the cold dark floor.

With a final metallic squeal the hatch was wrenched open and the light from the hallway spilled in making Vladi's hulking centurion form a massive mechanical silhouette against the open door.

There were only a few quick clicks before shots were being fired.

"Down, down!" The Corporal shouted.

"There are three of them!" Katya replied as she ducked.

Vladi let his ammunition fly. At first the sound of his fire was all that they could hear. He easily shot down one bot right away. The remaining two, however began to fire back mercilessly and soon it seemed as though the bangs of Vladi's shots were drowned out by the sound of his armored body being pelted with bot bullets.

When the corporal peered over the tallest trunk on his post he saw that Vladi was on his knees. The cylon was struggling without the use of the lower parts of his legs, but he was still firing as steadily as he could in defense. The marine took his stance and steadied his weapon to aim. He knew the centurion needed help. The incapacitated cylon was no match for the double assault. If the bots managed to take him out they were all screwed.

"Stay down, Cap!" He shouted as he began to fire at the bot in closest range.

The marine made a few hits giving Vladi some assistance, but his shots had little impact other than drawing the attention of his spindly target toward the direction of his gunfire.

When the corporal realized that the blank-faced metal monster was now focused on his direction he momentarily ducked. From behind the small stack of crates he could hear the bot closing in on him and in a split second decision he rushed to his feet and fired away. The headshot he achieved took the charging bot right out. Its body collapsed into a junk heap of tin leaving an open space for the remaining enemy to fire directly in the corporal's direction.

Katya knew that the marine was dead before his body even hit the floor. He'd taken a shot to the chest and another right through his throat. He was gone.

"Fuck!" She cried out in horror.

Peering up and over her a crate she saw that Vladi was beginning to slow and struggling to aim. He was taking hit after hit. She cringed at each impact. She knew that he couldn't feel pain, but his injuries hurt her nonetheless. She crouched down and turned toward Laura.

"Give me your weapon," Katya ordered.

Laura quickly slid over the gun, all at once glad and yet afraid to be rid of it.

"Kat…" She called, but before she knew it Katya was on her feet; a weapon in each hand and firing at will.

Katya let go everything she had. The station was rumbling. Bombs were hitting Alpha in multiple locations from the sound of it and the vibrations were making it hard for her to aim. She could hardly see where she was shooting as she struggled to avoid Vladi and hit her mark.
Laura recoiled into the shadows. She couldn't bear to watch her daughter facing mortal danger. Just as she went to cover her eyes the glitch happened again. The lowest crates were now resurrection tubs and the tallest stacks were the glass pillars. As she looked up at them she saw that just like in her dream the pillars were beginning to splinter and crack with every rumble of the room. Her vision quickly flicked back and what she had just seen as crackling crystal pillars were once again the highest stacks of crates and trunks shifting out of place as the station floor shook beneath them.

Katya held her fire when the bot suddenly took pause allowing Vladi a small reprieve. She saw its evil gangly fingers flip into a new formation and she knew it meant that it had switched its ammunition. She couldn't be sure what it was about to shoot, but she already knew that they had no match for it. Its next hit to Vladi blew the centurion backward and sent him careening in Katya's direction. The cylon's body slammed into several tall stacks of haphazardly piled crates knocking them further off balance.
Katya glanced down over her protective barrier of boxes just in time to see the red light of Vladi's eye go dark.
The centurion's chest smoked from where the bot's fireball had made impact.

There was no more resurrection. Katya knew that death meant death no matter what you were. Her sweet and loyal Vladi was no more.
Enraged at the sight of her fallen companion Katya looked up to see the gangling form that haunted her childhood dreams. She roared and began to let loose all of the fire power she had left. Her bullets rained upon her enemy as her tears rained down her cheeks. At some point her eyes clenched shut and she almost didn't noticed when the last bot finally went down.

"Kat!" Laura shouted as the gunfire finally ceased but Katya gave her no answer. "Katya?"

She watched as the captain slowly got out from behind her cover and walked to Vladi's broken side.

At the site of his body Katya knelt down and placed her palm on the center of his battered chest plate. It was still hot, almost too hot to touch but she didn't care. When she felt nothing but an empty vessel beneath her hand she began to cry aloud.

Laura rose from her shelter and winced at the awful display. She made her way over and placed her hand upon Katya's shaking shoulder.

"I'm so sorry, Kat," She told her with sincerity.

Laura had grown up in the midst of a war too. In her last life the dead centurion at her feet had been the personification of pure evil. In her new life it was her guardian, a good-natured companion who stayed watchful at her doorstep and brought her silly gifts. She too would miss him and it amazed her.

"We should go," Laura said as the station thundered around them more forcefully than ever.

Katya cried without shame.

"He was my friend," She whimpered, her voice no more powerful than a small child's.

"I know, sweetheart," Laura told her. "I know he was. You…" Laura hesitated, "You can pray for him," She suggested.

"Pray?"

The concept was so foreign Katya.

"Yes," Laura said as she began to rub the girl's trembling back. "Just pray for him, be thankful for him."

"Pray," Katya echoed again. She swallowed the thick saliva that had come with her tears and sniffed hard. "I- I don't know how."

"Just say what you feel. Just say it from your heart."

"I…can't...I-I dunno…"

"You do. You know how you feel, Kat. It's okay. Just say it."

Katya inhaled hard but her tears wouldn't stop.

"I...I don't know if there is anyone listening," She hesitantly began. "I don't know what this will even do. I don't even know if…if he had a soul...but he was loved and that has to count for something…"

"That's good, Kat. Keep going," Laura encouraged with her comforting hand rubbing at Katya's sob wracked shoulders.

"And I hope that if he did have a soul it's taken care of…I hope it's taken care of the way he always took care of me."

Katya dipped down and hugged the warm hunk of metal as if it were a fallen family horse.

"Mnye zhal, mnye o'chin zhal. Porshai, Vladi."

The floor shook violently as the aft cannons fired again.

"We need to get out of here quickly," Laura urged.

With a few more sniffles Katya forced her composure and got to her feet.

She needed to get Laura someplace safe. They couldn't stay there any longer.

Leaving her mother's side for only a moment Katya went to the fallen corporal to retrieve his weapons. She was surely almost out of bullets and she wasn't going to move through the station without more protection. She took off her tunic and lay it over the marine covering his head to his shoulders. Once he was cloaked she removed as many weapons and holsters from his body as she could, strapping them to her hips, thighs and ankle. She then took hold of his still warm rifle.

Now that there was only the two of them she was Laura's sole defender. She had to be prepared.

Laura let out a whimper as she looked down at the dead cylon. They should have never left the control room, she thought. Then again it occurred to her that the bots could have very well reached them by now. The possibility sent a chill down her spine. They had no way of knowing.

The station continued to boom over and over.

"Katya, hurry," Laura warned as the bulkhead shook around them "Let's get going."

She looked up to the large tower of crates that stood closest to her. It had been knocked off kilter by the force of the centurion's body hitting its base. Every tremble of the station seemed to make the stack shake. With another sound of explosion Laura's fear rose and she began to glitch again. The tenuous stack became the splintering crackling pillar from her nightmare and she suddenly knew what was about to happen next. Another thunderous roar finally sent the glass pillar falling toward her.

It was coming right for her. Its shadow was closing in on her making the already dark room black. She froze in place horrified and then, just as she always did in her dream, she felt her body being shoved out of the way by a force that she couldn't see.

Laura went flying. She fell hard; face first onto the floor. Putting her hands over her head she took cover bracing for the stack's collapse.

She heard the awful clatter of the crates behind her, their impact adding to the already thunderous tenor of the room. With her body stiff and tensed she kept still until they all finally settled.

Laura got to her feet and rubbed at her elbows as she coughed. She'd gotten the wind knocked out of her from the impact of her fall. Her head was swimming in the chaos of the last few moments and she wondered if perhaps she'd hit it. She knew that if they made it her body would hurt later when the pain signals weren't being blocked by adrenaline. Once she caught her breath she dusted herself off and looked around to tell Katya that they need to go. It was far too dangerous to keep cover in the arms locker any longer.

"Kat?" She called as she continued to rub at her bruising bones. "Kat," She said again, but no answer came.

It was then she that she realized she hadn't fallen at all. She'd been pushed. Her stomach sank as the notion occurred to her. Laura looked to the mess of fallen crates. Her eyes shot wide in horror as she spotted Katya unconscious and pinned under a large trunk of ammo.

Laura couldn't remember what it felt like when her heart finally stopped beating on the day that she died, but she could have sworn that she felt it stop in her chest the moment she saw her child lying under a crate lifeless and trapped.

"Oh gods! Kat!"

Without thinking Laura rushed to her side. The container had Katya's body pinned from just below her ribs, compressing her midsection and legs all the way to her ankles. In her panicked terror Laura quickly gripped one of the side handles of the trunk and attempted to move it. She'd hardly started before she realized that it was far too heavy for her. The weight of the container sent Laura's mind into a tailspin. How far had it fallen? How much could it really weigh? Oh gods, was it crushing her?

She dropped to her knees and began to frantically pat the girl on the cheek.

"Katya! Sweetheart!?" She attempted, but no response came. "No, no, no," Laura pleaded aloud. "Katya, please wake up! Answer me!" She begged but Katya remained silent and motionless.

Laura sprung to her feet and reached for the trunk's handle once again. This time she tried to push it. When it slowly started to slide she abruptly halted her efforts once more. It occurred to her that she could be doing more damage by rolling it over Katya's back. Even in her frenzied state she knew that logically the crate should be lifted but it seemed impossible. There was no one else around and the more time passed the more the weight bore down onto Katya's narrow frame.

Laura gulped and knelt down again.

"Kat, please!" She called as she put her fingers to the girl's neck to feel for a pulse.

Her hands were shaking so badly that she couldn't tell if there was one to be found. She felt so helpless and useless.

Just as Laura began to break down and surrender to her tears Katya's eyes started to flutter. Like tiny onyx wings her lashes batted open only to close once again. The small sign of life immediately summoned back every modicum of strength that Laura had left.

"Gods, Katya. I'm going to help you. It's gunna be okay."

Incensed she rose to her feet and in a fit of blind rage she gripped the crate's handle once again.

Laura felt very little other than a burning in her forearms as she strained to lift the overwhelming mass. It was as if her mind was somewhere else while her body performed the improbable task; a concept not so foreign to her.

Laura's thoughts went to old Caprican tabloid stories of hysterical strength; women who miraculously lifted cars off of their babies to save them in the nick of time. She'd always been skeptical of the phenomena, but as she felt the crate finally move off of her daughter she knew that at least some of the tales had been true.

The crate thumped to the side of Katya's body and within the blink of an eye Laura was on the floor again, burning arms, tingling hands and all.

"Katya, please, sweetheart look at me." She could hardly feel her severely strained fingers as she resumed patting the girl on the cheek. "Let me know if you can hear me."

Though she knew that it might be useless Laura looked to her station cuff. Pins and needles seemed to creep beneath her skin as her body recovered from her incredible feat of strength. She did her best to steady her wrenched fingers and swiped the screen of her cuff on. She quickly sent out a medical emergency signal. She had no idea if the alert would even go through let alone if anyone could make it through the halls to get to them but she had to try.

Once the alert was sent Laura looked up from her wrist and was startlingly relieved to find Katya looking right at her.

"Katya, oh!" She cried as she bent down to meet her gaze. The girl didn't make a peep in return. "You're gunna be okay. Just hold on. Stay with me!" She urged, but Katya eyes quickly became heavy and began to close once again. "No! No!" Laura nearly scolded her. "Look at me!"

The volume of her voice served to startle Katya enough to gain her attention a few more times. She continued to shout her name over and over, but whenever Katya's eyes managed to peek open it was only a moment or two until they began to roll into the back of her head before closing again.

Though Laura could hear that Katya was breathing the strained sound of it just furthered her worry.

Her breaths had become rapid, short and shallow as if she couldn't get more than a bit of air into her lungs before she had to let it out again.

"Katya, please? Please, honey," Laura begged as she lightly thumbed at her temple. She could see that her eyes were moving frantically behind the thin skin of her lids whenever she spoke to her. She began to ramble, not allowing for a moment of silence, just hoping that her voice would be enough to keep her daughter awake. "Fight to keep those eyes open, Kat. Please? Sweetheart? Keep 'em open. Let me see that beautiful blue," She said blearily smiling through her fear. Katya struggled to halfway open one eye and then the other. "There they are. That's it. There they are. Look at me, Kat. Keep em' open," Laura encouraged, putting a cool comforting palm to Katya's cheek. "Just keep looking at me," She told her with a sniff of meager relief. She was so grateful to see the girl's eyes looking back at her. "You know, I remember the first time I noticed them," Laura divulged as her fretful and erratic train of thought spilled forth. "I saw them and I thought…Oh gods. I know that blue. That's Bill's blue," She admitted. When Katya's eyes began to grow heavy again Laura let her tears of guilt, fear, and regret flow. She didn't want Katya's eyes to close. In that moment they were the most beautiful sight she'd ever seen and her only sign that the girl was fighting for her life. "I don't know why I couldn't let myself see you then, see you for who you were. In some way I knew. I did. I did. Please forgive me?" She begged, not knowing if Katya could even comprehend her words. Her eyes were nearly shut again. "Keep em' open, Kat. C'mon. Don't close them on me. Damn it! Don't!"

As if on Laura's command Katya eyes flew open. This time they were more animated, more focused, but Laura didn't like what she saw within them.

"Pain," Katya rasped.

Despite the dreadfulness of the single word Laura was so grateful for the pitiful bit of communication. Katya could speak. She was lucid.

"I know. I know," Laura said as she grasped Katya's hand. "You're hurt. Don't try and move."

Katya cringed, squeezing tears from the corners of her eyes.

"Can't," She cried. Her chest began to sear with every insufficient breath she took. It hurt to talk. It hurt just to breath. "My legs…Can't move my legs."

Laura's jaw fell slack and she shook her head at a loss. She didn't know what to do.

"Gods, Katya you pushed me out of the way. You saved me. It was you. In my dream, it was you the whole time. Damn it. It was you," She cried. "Why, Katya? Why? It wasn't worth it."

She watched as the color drained out of the girl's face right before her eyes.

"It's going to be okay, Kat" She told her as Ellen's maternal mantra rang in her ears. She had to keep telling her that no matter what. "You're going to be okay."

"Hurts," The girl chirped.

"What hurts, sweetheart? Can you tell me?"

Katya's eyes slammed shut and she gritted her teeth.

"Everything," She growled through the excruciating pain.

"I'm going to get help, Kat. You hold on. I'm not going far. I won't leave you. I promise. You hold on. Stay awake!"

Laura scrambled to her feet and ran toward the doorway, weaving and darting between fallen scattered trunks. She leaned out of hatchway and began shouting down the halls for help. She knew that it wasn't safe. She had no way of knowing what kind of danger she might attract their way. All that she was sure of was that Katya needed her to take the chance. After shouting up and down the abandoned hall a few times and getting no answer Laura ran back into the arms locker and returned to Katya's side.

Even though her eyes were closed tears steadily leaked from under her dark wet lashes. The wretched presence of the persistent salty streams was all that assured Laura that Katya was still conscious.

She knelt down by her daughter's broken body and gripped her hand again.

"I'm here, Kat. I'm right here with you."

LOCATION: PLANET EARTH

EASTERN HEMISPHERE

SOMEWHERE WITHIN THE FORMER EASTERN REPUBLIC SECTOR

YEAR: 2316
Helo and the rest of the ground crew were ecstatic when they spotted Husker's shuttle in the air. They'd gotten word from Alpha that the other team had been successful and seemed to be enroute to meet them. They all jumped and waved as the Admiral's shuttle started its descent.

Since her return to base D'Anna had been listening to the jubilant celebrations of the marines. They hugged and patted one another on the back. They thanked her up and down and cheered at the many plumes of smoke still coming from the distant sites of crashed airbots. She watched one of the men do an actual backflip in the grass that his people felt they had just finally reclaimed.

D'Anna was glad to be done but she couldn't rejoice with her team. She'd finally made it to Earth and what had she done? She'd helped to eradicate a primitive race of sentient machines. As violent and destructive as the bots had been she wondered how God would look upon her actions. She hoped that the Almighty understood that she'd done it for Margot. She hoped that when her daughter stepped out of Adama's shuttle she would see her fresh young face and be reminded that it was worth it after all.

As the ramp extended D'Anna stayed out of the way of the comotion, leaning against an old tree stump. She watched as two marines exited the ship and greeted their happy cohorts. Another came out soon after, stopping to shake Helo's hand before joining the others. D'Anna waited but no one else emerged. She's counted three marines and she knew that they'd come to the surface with twice as many. Finally Adama stepped onto the ramp. She watched as he stoically looked around the base. He spotted her but didn't wave or call her over. He just looked over at her with his mouth sternly set.

D'Anna felt her nails start to dig into the bark of the old stump that braced her weight.

When the Admiral stepped off of the ramp Helo greeted him. The two men spoke closely for a moment before Helo too looked over his shoulder in her direction. A chill ran down her spine when she saw the look on his face.

D'Anna continued to watch them.

Helo called over two marines and he and the Admiral gave them a few curt orders. The officers nodded and then boarded the shuttle to carry on with whatever task they'd just been given.

D'Anna's throat went dry when both Adama and Cpt. Agathon began to walk toward her. Irrationally she wished that they would stop.

"Where's Margot?" She wasted no time in asking as they came up to her.

Neither spoke for a moment but the grim expressions that both men wore told D'Anna all that she needed to know. The blood ran out of her face and she gulped.

"She's dead," She said aloud, answering her own question in a voice so steady it even surprised her.

"I'm sorry, D'Anna," Bill finally offered. "I was supposed to bring her back and I didn't."

D'Anna eyed Adama keeping her lips in a grim unmoving line.

"I'm sorry, D'Anna," Helo offered with genuine tears in his eyes.

D'Anna's jaw tightened. She felt her teeth grinding against each other with such force that she half expected them to shatter under the weight.

She'd known that death was a possibility, but her confidence in her daughter's success had overshadowed the perilous odds.

"She was a brave and brilliant young woman, D'Anna," Bill told her. "She saved her people. She gave her life for them. Your daughter was a special girl; strong, and beautiful inside and out. I know the pain that you're feeling. I know it all too well. I lost a son not much older than Margot and I understand that I can't say anything to make the agony stop. Just know that her life, her existence which so many once thought was a mistake, was in fact truly a miracle. Without her the very people who opposed her creation would be gone. She saved them. She did it."

D'Anna heard Bill's condolences but her eyes were over his shoulder.

The two marines who had boarded the shuttle were now coming down the ramp with Margot's limp body strapped on to an emergency backboard stretcher. Helo and Bill had ordered the marines to properly bag the officer's body in preparation for their eventual takeoff into Orbit.

For a moment D'Anna felt frozen at the sight of her daughter's bloody lifeless form.

Helo tried to clear the swell of emotion from his throat.

"D'Anna, she was…"

"She was an angel sent by God to save an undeserving world," D'Anna cut him off with little inflection in her voice as she watched the marines begin to unclasp the straps that secured Margot's body to the stretcher.

Bill and Helo looked back at what had caught her attention. They each cringed when one of the marines began to unfold the black Orbit issue body bag.

"Please ask them to stop," D'Anna said, getting both men to face her again. "Give me a moment with her."

When Bill solemnly nodded Helo ran over to the officers and stopped them from continuing their sad task.

"I'm sorry, D'Anna," Bill said once more.

This time D'Anna nodded in acknowledgment before silently starting to walk forward.

Bill followed a few steps behind her.

If D'Anna had been the kind of machine that was made of gears and cogs instead of blood and bone she was sure that her heart would have jammed and rusted over the moment that her daughter's peacefully pale face came into her view.

After a slight pause she stepped beside the girl's body and looked down at the horrific fatal wound.

All of her breath suddenly left her lungs and it took a few moments before she was able to gather her voice.

"The Lord gives, and the Lord...takes...away," She recited over Margot's unmoving form. "Blessed be his divine name."

She sunk to her knees and then took a seat on the grass by Margot's side. She stared at her daughter's face. It was angelic and serene in total opposition to the splatters of blood that freckled her skin and the horrific wounds that had massacred her body.

Bill motioned to Helo and the two walked away with the marines giving D'Anna some space and time alone.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR C

COMMAND CONTROL CENTER

TEMPORARY CYLON TRANSMISSION UNIT

YEAR: 2316

"What the frak is going on out there?!" Sam raged in frustration. The thunderous blasts that roared through Alpha's walls were only getting worse. A few times they had even lost their footing as the floor shook under their feet. "The damn station is getting pounded! Why haven't we gotten a frakking update, Saul?!"

"Half of that's our own damn cannons!" The colonel defended. "The commander will contact us when it's time! Shut your yap, Anders! You're just adding to the noise!"

A new a alarm began to sound mixing in the with the chaotic cacophony.

"Oh great! What's that one mean?!" Sam griped.

"Ellen, lower the com system volume," Saul directed keeping his angry eye on Anders. "Some of us can't handle the pressure."

"This is crazy!" Sam retorted. I say we go ahead," He boldly proposed. "If we don't then these things are gunna blast us out of Orbit before we ever get a chance to try."

"And go against the commander's orders?" Blaze charged. "Who the fuck are you to suggest that? If we transmit the virus into Orbit before D'Anna and Margot are successful it will be a waste! All that will do is kill the ones out here in Orbit. They'll just send more and more from the surface and we'll never have the strength to keep up!"

"No one's going against orders!" Saul followed, assuring the angered young lieutenant.

"Fine!" Sam scoffed throwing his arms up in the air in mock defeat. "Let's just sit here and get killed!"

"Something's up," Sharon said as she looked toward the hatch and listened as closely as she could. "I don't like what I'm hearing."

Sam huffed in her direction.

"What you're hearing is every godsdamn alarm on this station blaring at the same time! We're getting pounded. There's probably about a dozen fires going on at this point!"

Sharon frowned and shook her head dismissing his rants.

"No. No it's something else."

"Ellen, are we really going to stand here and do nothing?" Sam appealed.

"We're waiting, Sam," She reiterated. "Just shut up and keep the frakking pressure on your arm."

"Sharon's right," Alexi said looking to the hatch with narrow eyes, distracted from Sam's bellowing. "I-I hear it too...I think."

"Hear what?" Blaze questioned.

"Bridge to Col. Tigh," The com system sounded.

"Go ahead," Saul eagerly answered the call awaiting Kaplan's voice.

"Col. Tigh, Mrs. Tigh, this is the commander. I'm pleased to tell you that your ground team has completed their mission," He announced prompting a mix of relieved sighs and excited gasps from around the room "Your Orbit team is to engage immediately."

"Yes, Sir," Saul answered.

"Colonel Tigh," Kaplan went on with a sense of grave urgency to his voice, "I understand that the process you are about to embark on is a delicate one, but I must inform you that we are under extreme duress. The space station has been boarded my enemy forces. We have an unknown number of bots aboard Alpha."

"Frak, frak!" Ellen said with her palms over her face. "No, gods, no!"

"Understood, Sir," Saul replied, his face now washed in a pallor of grey consternation as he listened to Kaplan continue.

"We've loaded the apex leading to the control room with marines, but we believe it's safe to say however many bots there are they intend to head your way."

"Yessir," Saul answered trying like hell to keep the tone of his voice free of the new terror he felt.

"Gods! Kat!" Ellen suddenly exclaimed. It dawned on her that she'd sent Katya on an unsessasrary mission through the station. Now she had no idea where she was. "Commander, did my daughter return yet?"

"Negative, Mrs. Tigh. She was sent emergency instructions to remain on deck once she reached her destination. We've been having some issues with the network. Cuffs have been acting up, but since she didn't return I believe she's down there."

"Can- can you check?" She worriedly attempted. "Call down to the deck?"

"Stop it, Ellen," Saul warned her under his breath.

No matter how worried they were it wasn't the time to ask for personal favors. They would have to wait just as any other family would.

"Colonel and Mrs. Tigh, we must ask you to engage your viral transmission right away. And please, while I won't pretend to fully understand the process, I have to implore you to do whatever lies in your power to hurry."

"Doesn't frakkin' work like that," Sam muttered with a shake of his head.

"Yes, Sir," Saul replied scowling in Sam's direction. "We won't be able to answer you from here on out, Commander. Not until we're through."

"Understood, Colonel and alles gute," The commander bid them before the com system cut out.

"How the hell are we supposed to focus now?" Blaze shouted.

"You can do this," Sharon calmly coached. "You too, Alexi. We all can. Clear your heads. Nothing exists except this. Understood? Nothing exists except this because nothing will exist if you don't get this done. Got it? Nothing else matters. It's just us here."

"They're coming for us," Alexi spouted. "We're supposed to ignore that?"

"Sergeant, you heard the commander," Saul sharply reminded. "He's filled the apex between here and the bridge with a bunch of your men. You think they're gunna let those skinny chromed creeps get through to ya? Not likely, I'd say. They'll hold em off and we'll stop em' in their frakkin' tracks just like we planned. You hear me?" Saul prompted.

"Everyone release your tourniquets," Ellen directed as she hurriedly made the rounds checking each pedestal's fluid levels one last time.

Saul's brow lowered and his forehead creased as he waited for Alexi's reply.

"I said do you hear me, boy?" Saul repeated more sternly, but Alexi stayed stubbornly silent.

"I said do you hear me, Sergeant Petrov!?"

Alexi looked back at the colonel with cold hardened eyes. He reached for the end of his tourniquet, pulled and yanked it off with a loud snap.

"Yes, Sir, Colonel, Sir!" He finally roared in return.

"You too, LT!" Saul shouted, turning his attentions to Blaze. "You hear my words?!"

"Yes, Sir!" Blazer instantly retorted.

"Damn right!" Saul barked before abruptly turning and heading for his post.

"You're strong," Sharon said in a soft and supportive voice from behind her pedestal. Her method was in total contrast to the colonel's but the meaning was the same. "You can do this."

Blazer was uncharacteristically expressionless as he looked across the room at her. He wanted to smile in return. He wanted to ensure her that he was as optimistic as ever. He wanted to make a joke to cover his nerves, or even just give a playful wink, but he couldn't. All that he could manage was a nod in acknowledgement of her genuine faith and encouragement.

On the way to his pedestal Saul stopped at his wife's side. He gently took her by the elbow and watched her as she looked over the expanse of the room. He saw her scanning every wire and cord, her usually bright blue eyes darkened and glistening with red rimmed fear.

"Have I ever told you how glad I am that I married you?" He said with his lips close to her ear.

"Never," She replied as always, but her focus never strayed from the waiting array of cables and connectors.

Saul took her wounded arm and ran his fingers gently above the cut in some weak attempt to soothe any pain she might feel.

"Then I'll save it for a special occasion," He told her in his usual way.

"I love you, Saul," She whispered in response.

"It's almost over, Elle," He said before giving her a quick kiss to the cheek and then taking his place at the pedestal next to hers.

Sam ran his hands roughly through his hair over and over. It was something he'd always done before taking the field. It focused him, got his head in the game, got his adrenaline going. It would have worked had he not stopped and looked over at Sharon.

Her eyes were glued to the hatch, her jaw tightly set in apprehension.

"You really hear em'?" He asked.

"Don't you?" She returned, still staring at the door.

Sam shook his head.

"Not yet."

Sharon squinted and then closed her eyes trying to remember all that she'd told Laura back on the deck. They had to keep going no matter what.

When she opened her eyes she looked over at Sam.

"They're close."

He nodded.

"Let's do this then."

"Ellen, we're ready when you are," Sharon said from across the circle.

Ellen quietly nodded and reached for the cable resting on the side of her station.

"Alright, all of you…" She paused with a flinch as the station's cannons fired again. "Please remember to focus. I know it's going to be hard with the news we just received, but we can't break our concentration. Be strong and know that I love each of you," She told them earnestly. Her directions were quick paced but clear and she made sure to look each of them in the eye at least once as she spoke. "Sam, when I say go hit the switch to engaged the upload. As each of you feel that your upload has completed sound off. Once all of us are ready I'll give the okay to start the download process. Sam will start the transmission. Remember, both hands in the stream. Give it all you've got and when it comes back fight like hell."

"We've got it, Ellen," Sam replied.

"Yeah. We're ready." Alexi added.

"Ready," Sharon echoed.

Ellen looked over at Saul and he gave her a final nod.

With a deep breath she put the cable to the open wound on her forearm and tried to clear her mind.

"Insert," She instructed before feeding the cable into her flesh.

As she began the rest of them started to follow.

Alexi and Blaze each took one end of the spliced cable running from their shared splitter and with joined courage they connected their arms to the mechanism.

Saul grimaced as he watched the thick cord disappear under his skin.

"Ready," He sounded off with a grunt, trying to distract himself from the disturbing image.

"Ready over here," Sam announced.

"Me too," Ellen followed.

"All done," Sharon said with a slight hiss as her cord jostled against a nerve ending.

Blaze fumbled with his cable. He didn't know if it was his nerves making him unsteady or if it was actually supposed to be so difficult, but it wasn't going in as smoothly as he'd expected. For a moment he almost panicked, worried that he hadn't sliced deep enough.

"Need help?" Alexi whispered at his side.

"Shh, stop. I've got it," Blaze muttered as beads of sweat began to appear on his forehead.

Watching him struggle was sending Alexi's anxiety through the roof.

"Let me help," He insisted. "We can't waste time."

"I said I got it," Blaze snarled with frustration.

Alexi's irritation soared as yet another explosion sounded through the station walls and he watched Blazer's cable slip again.

"Do you? Cause it doesn't seem like…"

"I got it, damn it. I got it! I got it!" Blaze shouted louder as he felt the cord finally slide into place. "Ellen! I got it! We're ready!"

"Alright then. This is it," She said with a gulp. "Sam, go ahead."

Sam nodded and put his uncompromised hand on the panel beside his pedestal.

"Three, two, one...engaging upload," He alerted with the flick of a switch.

As the station continued to rumble and shake all around them they each stood waiting for the virus to finish its charge and hopefully act as the lethal weapon it was intended to be.

Sharon closed her eyes tight as if shutting out the sights around her would somehow stop the noises too. She was sure that she heard gunfire peppered in between the buzzing of the alarms, the booms of the cannons and the bangs from the hits that station was taking externally. For a moment she considered that it might be in her head. Perhaps it was her fear making her think that she could hear the enemy coming toward them. Anders couldn't hear it. Maybe she was wrong. Maybe the bots were nowhere close. She hoped like hell that was the case, but as the upload completed and her stomach flipped she swore that she heard it again.

"I'm done," She she announced first, feeling like she might very well vomit into the cylon stream fluid she stood over.

"Done," Ellen echoed with a wince.

"Completed over here," Sam followed.

"Frrrak," Saul growled as his upload finished. "That feels like a godsdamn three day hangover."

Alexi finally felt the upload complete, but when he looked over at Blaze he saw that his partner was still focused on his task and sweating buckets.

"Almost done, Blaze?" He tested

Blazer didn't answer. He just let out of few angry puffs of frustrated air.

Ellen looked over at the pair. She was beyond concerned, but no matter how much she wished that she could assist them she knew that there was little that she could do to help them. Her eyes went to Sharon who seemed to be thinking in much the same way.

"Done!" Blaze shouted before cupping his free hand over his mouth.

He immediately turned his head and vomited off to the side, his retching blending with sounds of bombs, alarms and cannons.

Sharon cringed as she watched him.

"Sorry," Blaze muttered to Alexi.

"Forget it," The sergeant shrugged. "It's supposed to feel like that. Trust me. I feel like doing the same."

"Alright," Sam redirected. "Let's get this over with."

"Remember everyone, both hands in," Ellen repeated. "Alexi, Blaze, I know it's a tight fit. Just make sure that your palms are submerged. You'll feel the connection immediately. You'll know if you're in there okay."

"Let's get these bastards," Saul charged before turning a new shade of green.

"Hit it, Sam," Ellen ordered, repressing a hiccup.

With another flick of a switch the base of each pedestal illuminated and the waters of the cylon stream began to ripple within the shallow basins.

"Go!" Ellen shouted at the top of her lungs.

At the sound of her voice they all plunged their palms into the fluid and connected to the transmitter.

Sharon's hands coursed with the energy of the cylon stream. It tingled like pins and needles from the tips of her fingers up into both arms. The feeling traveled up the sides of her neck, into her ears and buzzed within her mind. Carefully she accessed the dormant place in her softwear where she'd stored the virus. She then began to transmit the deadly program through the stream and into the transmitters. All the while she felt the vibration of booms under her feet. She tried to block it out but she knew that it was there. She knew that the station was taking a pounding and somewhere beyond the hatch a far more pressing danger loomed.

Ellen began her download relatively quickly. She was no stranger to working within the stream, but it had been ages since she'd done so under such diress. While the alarms buzzed and the bulkhead shook Ellen closed herself off to her surroundings. She focused on the current of the stream, the way it tickled at her veins and made her heart hum. It felt good to be connected and as she downloaded the virus into the transmitter she began to wish that with it she could release all of her negativity. She wished that all of her insecurities, and regrets, all of her fears and jealousies and every anxious thought that lived within her mind would leave through her fingertips to infect the enemy along with the lethal virus. She imagined that it was possible and it helped a great deal as the sounds around her grew louder and louder.

Outside of the hatch eyeless monsters shot their way through the heavily guarded halls leading to the control room. Upon getting reports of the many fatalities and the close range of the enemy Kaplan himself had taken a second sidearm in hand and left the bridge to join the fight.

They had to stop the bots from getting to the cylon team by any means necessary.

In the control room Blaze struggled to keep focused. His download was well underway, but he knew that he had to keep centered for when the virus eventually jolted back. It would give them no warning, no time to disconnect. If his concentration was compromised his software and body would be too. He told himself to focus over and over. He told himself not to listen to the explosions or the cannon fire and to ignore the way the station rumbled under his boots. He tried so desperately to push it all out of his mind, but when he heard the gunshots beyond the hatch his internal struggle became a full on battle. He heard men and women shouting and the eruptions of close range blasts. He could feel streams of sweat running from his temples as he tried like hell not to picture the massacre beyond the door. The download had to be close to complete. He needed to be ready for it.

In the hallway just outside of the control room three remaining bots charged through like bulls on a plow. They deflected bullets and stomped over officers who desperately threw themselves in their path in hopes of buying even a moment's time for the cylon team. Finally at their destination the enraged machines began to shoot at the hatchway. As Kaplan and two marines broke through the veil of smoke created by a small fire they witnessed the first round of shots to the door. Taking advantage of having a clear shot to their backs Kaplan and his marines opened fire in a last ditch attempt to stop what would be a catastrophic invasion.
With no need to turn its head to see, one of the bots flipped its gun in the direction of the attack. It fired backward at the men with its right weapon as its left sent forward blasts into the hinges of the control room door.

Inside of the room the bullets that showered against the hatch sounded like a vicious rain storm. It would stop for mere seconds at a time only to allow the added thunderous bangs of bot fists as they tried to break their way through the damaged hatch.

No one spoke, though they all knew what was happening.

They couldn't risk it. They had to keep going and keep focused.
The pouding increased and with a metallic squink the door to the hatch began to give allowing more light and noise from the halls to make its way inside.

Blazer's hands shook within the shallow basin. His teeth clenched down and his toes curled within his boots.

"I'M HIT!" Someone shouted from out in the hall.

The moment Blaze heard the words from the familiar voice he knew that he had lost it.

His eyes opened wide.

"The commander," He said in a quivering tone.

Alexi's eyes went to Blaze, his attentions pulled from his task.

Another boom sounded against the hatch and as they both looked back at the source of the clamoring smash their arms seized within the stream's shallow pool.

Jolts of pain shot like lightening up Blazer's arms. It felt like fire zooming through his veins, up to the base of his neck and into the back of his brain. He was frozen. Only his eyes moved enough to allow him to see Alexi suffering the same torturous effects.

Someone screamed as the hatch door finally crashed down.

Just as the the lead bot took its first step into the room a shockwave blew through the transmitters illuminating the room with a flash.

It surged through the cables, up into the pedestals and basins blowing back each cylon conductor and sending them crashing to their asses. As they all hit the hard surface of the control room floor so did the first bot and then the two that followed it.

The menacing machines crumpled into themselves like a heap of scrap.

The shock had blown Ellen at least two feet backward. She remembered the impact of hitting the floor, but her vision had momentarily blacked out. When she opened her eyes she found herself flat on her back. She knew that she wasn't dead. Her hands were still throbbing from the surge of the shockwave. She clasped them together trying to knead out the prickling feeling.

"Saul?" She called as she attempted to lean up.

He groaned in response.

"Saul, are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'm frakkin peachy," He sardonically grouced as he sat up and then scuffled to his feet.

"What happened?" She asked. "Why'd they stop?"

Finally upright, Saul looked toward the hatch. Just a few feet into the room he saw the pile of dead bots.

"They stopped cause we frakkin killed em," He said with a smirk as he offered Ellen his hand.

Ellen's eyes narrowed.

"We did?" She asked as she took his hand and he tugged her up to her feet.

"Look for yourself," He said pointing to their dead enemies.

With only about half the lights in the room still working Ellen turned to see the lifeless disjointed jumble of plastics and metals. She nearly jumped for joy at the sight.

"We did. We did it," She said in amazement before turning and embracing her husband.

"Yeah. Looks like we did," He said as he hugged her tightly. "Was close."

"Close?" Sam groaned as he got to his feet. "That was a godsdamn photo finish."

"Are we sure?" Ellen tested. "I mean the alarms are still sounding in the halls. Why haven't we heard over the com system."

"I don't hear any external bombs anymore," Saul noted. "Com system's probably wrecked in here. My guess is that shock blew just about everything in the room."

"Where did it come from?" Ellen wondered aloud.

"Who the frak knows," Sam said as he bent to help a disoriented Sharon to her feet. "There's probably about a dozen electrical fires on this side of the station alone that are still doing damage," He surmised. "You alright, Athena?"

Sharon blinked hard.

"Yeah...I just...I think I bumped my head."

"Wana sit back down?" Sam offered still holding her hand.

Sharon shook her head.

"No. No. Where's Blaze?"

"Still out," Sam shrugged.

"Lex?" Ellen called over to where the two young men still lay on the floor. "Alexi, sweetie? Blaze?" She tried again.

Ellen took a few tentative steps past her station. Finally she saw them.

Neither was knocked out from the shockwave.

"Oh Gods!" She shouted as she darted to them. "Sharon, Saul! Quick!"

On the floor Blazer's body jerked and twitched.

His brain felt like static. He couldn't get control of his body. He couldn't talk. He could hardly think. All that he knew for sure was that Alexi had fallen with him.

"Blaze! God! Blaze," Sharon screamed as she got to him and dropped to her knees. She attempted to hold him down by his shoulders, but the force of his spasms were too intense. "Anders!"

Sam rushed to the LT's side and took Sharon's place trying to steady his body.

"Gods it's the frakking virus!" Ellen shrilly cried out as she knelt down holding Alexi's twitching hand. "They must not have blocked it!"

"Blazer? Can you hear us, buddy?" Sam attempted. "Don't let it take over! Don't let it. It's not too late!"

As Sam spoke Blaze's body finally relaxed.

"Blaze?" Sharon called his same again as she leaned over him and put her hand to his forehead. He'd bitten his lip in the midst of his fit and it was starting to bleed. "Blaze, can you hear us?"

When Blazer found his mother's panicked eyes looking down at him he was finally able to gain control of his tongue.

"This...has...all hap- happened before…"

He stopped and cringed.

That wasn't what he'd intended to say. He couldn't think straight. Without warning his body began to convulse again.

"Blaze! Blaze, please!" Sharon cried out. "Anders, do something! Call Tawny!"

Sam looked at the Tighs kneeling over Alexi's spasming form and then back to the fallen lieutenant. He shook his head. Even if he could get through to Tawny in time she could do nothing for them. This wasn't something Orbit doctors could cure. No one could and he knew that rationally Sharon knew it too.

"Blaze, fight it off," She desperately continued, "You can do it! Do it!"

The LT let out a series of harsh grunts before he was able to form a coherent word.

"Can't."

His expression of defeat felt like a knife to Sharon's heart

"You can," She told him as she brushed his hair back from his forehead. "You can!"

His face began to turn red and he let out a sharp gasp.

"I'm glad…" He said as he attempted to suck in more air.

"Fight it, Blaze!" Sharon implored. "Glad? Glad? Blaze, please!"

Blaze tried to nod but he had lost all sense of direction. His eyes were going wild, crossing and rolling back and forth.

"So glad that I-" He was cut off when his body abruptly seized up, his back arching sharply up off of the floor before crashing right back down.

"Blaze!" Sharon yelled in horror.

"Glad- I mme-met- you," He finished.

Sharon bent down and put her lips atop her son's sweat dampened head.

Beside her Saul had pulled Alexi's head into his lap.

"Frak, Lex. Don't give up!" He shouted at him as if he were giving him a direct order. "C'mon now. C'mon!"

Ellen was in a state of wild panic at his side. Her nails dug into her scalp as she looked back and forth between both boys in frantic disbelief. She didn't know what to do. She couldn't help them. If they had any chance it would have to come from within themselves. She held tightly on to Alexi's hand feeling as helpless as she ever had.

"Please, Alexi!" She cried bringing his knuckles to her lips. "Please, honey. Fight it. Fight back. Fight for Kat! Please don't leave her! Don't leave us!"

"You hear her, boy?" Saul shouted as he attempted to physically shake Alexi into focus.

Finally his eyes opened and found Saul's. He looked up at him and squinted, struggling to keep his vision fixated on the man above him.
He gulped a few times and with the air that he'd taken in he managed to speak.

"We...we did it?" He asked.

Saul's eye watered at the sound of his weakened voice.

"Yeah. Yeah, son. You boys did it. You did good," He told him. "You've just gotta fight a little more…"

Without warning Alexi's shoulders were overtaken again by a violent series of jerks and jolts.

Saul held onto him as tightly as he could.

"Oh Gods, Saul!" Ellen whaled beside him.

Alexi's body finally calmed. His eyes were shut and his breaths were quick and shallow.

"Lex?" Saul cringed in anguish. "Lex? Please? Say something. Anything. Please?" He begged.

The young man finally opened his heavy hooded eyes.

"I had...no true f-father…" He wheezed, "...til' you," He told Saul before letting his lids close again.

As Saul finally broke down at the boy's confession Ellen screamed out loud. Her husband's tears were the last signal she needed to accept that they were truly going to lose Alexi. Leaning down she put her hand gently to his face to cup his cheek and cried in an incomprehensible string of swears and sobs.

"Listen to me, Lex," Saul instructed, doing his best to speak clearly, "Listen. You hear me?" He asked waiting for Alexi to blink again.

"Caprica...Your mother...she's going to be so happy to know you. So happy. She...she's been waiting for a son for a long, long time."

Saul's devastating parting words made Ellen cries intensify. She could hardly breathe.

"Katyyy," Alexi choked. "Shhhneeds you," He slurred. "Now- more thanever." His tongue momentarily seized and for a split second he feared that he wouldn't get to finish. "Takare of- take care..."

Saul bent down over him and wept.

"We will son," He vowed through his tears. "We will."

"Lex?" Blazer's drained voice called from where he rested close by at Sharon's knees.

"I'm with you..." Alexi said with a hitch,"...brother."

The two struggled to move, obviously wanting to reach out for the other.

Ellen quickly leaned over to take Alexi's hand and then did the same with Blaze's. Joining their limp palms together she frantically fumbled to lace their fingers until they each found the remaining strength to grasp onto one another themselves.

With a squeeze of their clasped hands Alexi and Blaze took their last breaths.

Ellen screamed and cried as she watched the boys die. Alexi's head in Saul's lap and Blaze beside his weeping mother. Her sorrow was a wretched fire and her guilt a fan to its flames. She had yanked Sharon from the dead to meet her son only to watch him suffer and die. She'd allowed the boys to handle the virus. Now her daughter who had been a new bride just a year ago was already a widow. In that moment Ellen hated herself more than she ever had before.

Sam watched over the sickening scene wincing at the familiar sounds of Ellen's lament; her haunting cries so close to those he'd heard from her the day she lost Daniel. As Sam listened his gut twisted and he knew with certainty, the same as he had the day they lost the Seven; if it were possible he would trade his life for the boys, if it would just stop her suffering.

His attentions were momentarily distracted when the gruff sound of someone's coughs caught his attention. Sam looked up to see the commander standing there in stunned abhorrence.

Blood slowly seeped through a crudely bandaged wrap on Kaplan's bicep. He'd made it through scathed by only a minor flesh wound. He'd allowed an officer to quickly dress it using supplies from the bridge's medkit, but refused to be taken to the ward until he'd made it to the control room.

Sam watched the tall bald man turn grey as he looked over the bodies of his fallen men.

Kaplan cleared his throat, but it did little to distract anyone from their fresh grief.

"Colonel, Mrs. Tigh...Lt. Agathon," He called, finally getting their attentions. "I can't begin to express my sympathies for your loss, or my gratitude for your courageous rescue. I know that nothing I say will help in your mourning, but please know that these two young men were as loyal as they come. I couldn't be prouder to have served with them."

Saul half nodded in acceptance of the Commander's condolences but could respond with little else. His heart ached. He remembered holding on to Bill after losing Liam. He'd sobbed in his friend's arms apologizing for his tears.

"I know it's not like Zak, I know it's not like Zak, but…" He'd felt the need to justify.

He had felt so guilty crying to a man who had lost a full grown boy; a son he'd actually raised, loved, and had memories with. His mourning of Liam was the loss of any hope in knowing what that would be like. Ages later in another world Alexi had shown him. Now he was gone too.

"Colonel Tigh, I understand that you and Ellen are both grieving deeply but…"

"We aren't ready to leave them yet," Ellen blurted out interrupting the man, her voice hoarse and cracking. "Please don't make us."

Kaplan cringed.

"I wouldn't under other circumstances, but unfortunately we've been sent an emergency notice from the ward. Katya's been hurt. You both shou…"

"What?" Ellen snapped.

"Hurt? Hurt how?" Saul questioned.

"What happened?" Sam asked in alarm.

"We just know that it's urgent," Kaplan explained, taking a step back. "I uh, I don't think she ever made it to the deck."

"Frak. Frak!" Ellen cursed. "Godsdamn it!"

"You go, Ellen," Saul told her. "Go! I'll stay with the boys. Go. I'll be there soon."

"I'll go with you, Elle," Sam announced, already making his way to the broken hatch.

"Hold on, Mr. Anders," Kaplan stopped him. "I'll have to ask that the rest of you stay here until we can get you debriefed."

Ellen scrambled to her feet, slipping twice before she made it up. In a blink she was out of the hatch like the wind.

"This is bull," Sam argued. "I don't have to listen to you people anymore. I did what you wanted. I'm out of here."

"Mr. Anders…" Kaplan started, but Saul interrupted him.

"Don't you frakkin dare leave this room, Anders! You're talking to the commander of this station! He tells you to stay, you stay!" He roared so loud that his face and neck went purple. "Besides, my daughter doesn't need you down there! So just do as your frakkin' told and quit adding to our godsdamn misery!"

In the face of Saul's greif fueled rage Sam temporarily backed off. They'd been friends once and the image of the poor man still holding the dead boy's head in his lap made Sam's blood run cold.

"Commander?" Sam called just as the man was about to turn to leave the room. "Have you heard anything about Margot?"

LOCATION: PLANET EARTH

EASTERN HEMISPHERE

SOMEWHERE WITHIN THE FORMER EASTERN REPUBLIC SECTOR

YEAR: 2316

"Admiral, Captain," One of the marines called, interrupting their silent bereavement. "We've just gotten confirmation that the mission in Orbit was indeed a success. We've been given instruction to load up and await clearance to re-enter the system and return to Alpha Station."

Bill nodded and looked over at D'Anna. She was still sitting legs crossed and hands in her lap staring at her child's dead body. He hated to disturb her but she would have to continue her vigil aboard the ship.

Helo followed him.

"I'm sorry to do this to you, D'Anna," Bill began as he came upon her, "but we need to get going."

"Then go," D'Anna stated without looking up to meet his eyes.

"We'll have to load her up now," Helo regretfully informed. "It'll just take a moment. You can fly with her on the way back."

"No," D'Anna answered plainly. "I'm not going back there."

"Not going back?" Helo scowled.

"No and neither is she. Go on and leave, gentlemen. Go ahead. Leave us be."

"D'Anna we can't do that," Helo told her. "I know it's hard but we have to get going. We'll bring her back to the station where it's quiet and clean. You can have more time with her there. As much as you need."

D'Anna shook her head in casual defiance.

"I'm not going with you and neither is my daughter. Long ago my only goal was to get to this frakking planet. It was Margot's goal too for her whole life and now we're both here. We made and it we aren't leaving this place."

Helo cringed.

"D'Anna we have orders to get back and…"

"Frak your damned orders," D'Anna snapped with ice in her eyes. "Those people took my child's body from me once. I won't let it happen again. I'm going to bury her here in the the soil that she worked so damned hard to get to. I'm going to bury her in the solid ground that I tried so desperately to find through all of my lifetimes. I don't care what anyone says. Now if you'd like to fight a grieving mother just moments after her child's death and tear her daughter's body from her hands then go ahead and try. Otherwise leave us."

Helo looked to the Admiral for assistance,but he could already see in Adama's eyes that he was going to let D'Anna stay.

They both walked away from the cylon women until they were out of earshot.

"We can't just leave her here alone," Helo reasoned.

Bill let out a long sigh.

"She's not alone."

"Sir, she obviously isn't thinking clearly."

"I disagree, Helo. I think she knows exactly what she's asking of us and I think we should allow her this. These people we've just saved, they owe her so much and if this is all that she's asking for in return then we should make sure that she gets it. We had no say in how these children came to be. We had no say in how they were raised and cared for. Now one of them is dead. At the very least we should allow D'Anna to decide how her daughter is laid to rest."

Helo looked back at the mother and daughter once more. He bit down on his trembling bottom lip and nodded.

After a moment Bill and Helo called over the marine teams from both shuttles and told them the plan. Though the teams were reluctant Bill and Helo stood strong in the decision and soon the officer's started loading up.

Helo began to walk back to D'Anna with Bill behind him.

Once they got to Margot's body Helo knelt down and put his hand over the girl's unmoving shoulder.

"You should be so proud of her, D'Anna."

The woman gave half nod in his direction.

When Helo rose to his feet Bill took his place. He gently put the back of his hand to Margot's cheek and then moved a few blonde strands of hair away from her cooling temple. His throat closed up and his eyes watered. He couldn't offer D'Anna anymore apologies or condolences. He knew that they were of no use to her. With a silent goodbye to the fallen young soldier Bill cleared his throat and rose to his feet.

"The team is leaving you with a crate of food and some tools," Helo informed D'Anna. "There's also a medkit and a blanket."

"Don't bother," She flippantly replied.

"It's enough for the night," He continued. "Once we get back to the station we'll explain and then tomorrow we'll have a recon ship come and get you. It'll be enough time for you to do what you need and have some time alone."

"There's no need to send a ship. I won't be returning to the space station. I'm staying here with my daughter."

Helo shook his head in confusion.

"D'Anna, I know that this is painful but you can't just stay down here all on your own. Your cuff should work to communicate, but it might be spotty for the next twenty-four hours. If you need some kind of help tonight we can't be sure that your calls for rescue will get through."

"I won't be calling. Don't bother sending that ship."

"Of course we will," Helo insisted. "We'll try and track you by your cuff signal, but if you'll just stay in the general area we'll send the shuttle down to these coordinates. If you'd rather I'm sure that we could send a cylon heavy raider instead."

"You can send whoever and whatever you want, captain, but it will be a waste of time. They won't find me here...or my daughter."

"D'Anna…"Helo began to argue but Bill cut him off.

"A shuttle will be here tomorrow, D'Anna. You take your time and you do what you need to."

D'Anna looked up at both men with narrowed eyes.

"You two better get back to your own children," She told them. "If I were you I'd hurry."

Helo's brow furrowed for a moment.

"Admiral Adama! Cpt. Agathon!" A marine called from a few yards away. "We've just been called home! I have to insist that we follow orders and board our shuttles. We're just awaiting the final count to take-off."

"I'm sorry, D'Anna," Helo told her once more. "We'll be back."

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR C

YEAR: 2316

After they'd made it to the deck and exited their ships Helo took off on foot. Bill couldn't keep up with him as he sprinted in the direction of the Control Room. A couple of decades of extra artificial aging and the weight of his guilt slowed him down. A young woman had just died in his arms. He'd felt the life fade from her body. He'd failed her and then held her as she lost the battle to hold on. It was all so heavy upon his chest and he felt as if his heart was painfully clenching with every breath he took. Eventually he stopped trying to match Helo's steps. Though he wanted nothing more than to get to Laura he dreaded having to announced Margot's demise to everyone once he arrived.

Bill cringed as he thought of telling Ellen.

He imagined her tears and the horrified look that he knew he would see on her face . When he opened his eyes again and saw the very expression he'd only just imagined coming toward him in the hall he had to do a double take to make sure that it was real. He wasn't hallucinating by any means. Ellen was indeed rushing in his direction wearing the unmistakable mask of devastation and terror.

Bill winced as he quickly decided that the look on Ellen's face could only mean that she already knew about Margot. Helo must have beaten him to it and told her the news. Though Bill couldn't be angry at him he wished that Karl had let him do it. He was the one who deserved the awful burden of telling Margot's family that she was gone. He was the one who had let her down. He'd brought her to Earth and came back without her. He should have been the one to announce his great failure. He knew that Ellen would be furious at him. He wouldn't blame her. He was furious at himself. All he could do was apologize over and over again until he had no breath left to go on.

"Ellen," He called as she hurried down the hall in his direction.

He sped up to meet her.

Her eyes were wet, red, and focused beyond him.

As Bill got closer to Ellen and the escorts who accompanied her he began to realize that she had no intention of stopping.

"Ellen, gods. I'm so sorry, Ellen."

Her eyes finally went to him as if she'd only just heard his voice.

"I'm sorry," Bill told her with fresh tears in his eyes as she came upon him.

Her face crumpled, but she only paused for a moment before continuing her trek down the corridor.

Bill quickly turned to follow her.

"Ellen, I'm sorry," He said again, sure that her avoidance was a sign of the blame that she was placing at his feet. "I'm sorry to you and Saul both. I don't know what else to say."

Ellen picked up the pace as Bill spoke and in turn he met her hurried step for hurried step, both of them holding back the full force of their tears as they struggled to breathe through their emotion.

"They were such good boys. Such sweet boys," She cried in response to what she presumed to be Bill's condolences on the loss of Alexi and Blaze. She could only assume that he'd gotten the news over his wireless or that someone on deck had heard and passed on the message once he'd docked. If the news had already spread that far it meant that Katya could find out before she had the chance to tell her and Ellen couldn't let that happen. "Gods forgive me, my poor sweet boys," She continued to lament as she attempted to travel even faster.

She had no idea of what condition Katya was in and she desperately wanted to get to her.

It took a moment for Ellen's strained words to register in Bill's ears.

"Boys?" He echoed, all the while keeping up with Ellen and her escort team's frenzied steps. "What about the boys?"

Ellen almost didn't hear Bill's voice. He sounded miles away. Her mind was split in two. Half was with Alexi and Blaze on the floor of the control room and the other half was already in the ward with Katya. She hardly felt like there was anything left of her within her own body. She felt like a hollow shell as she made her way through the station's halls and apexes.

"My poor boys. They're gone," She choked, as they turned a corner.

Bill's stomach flipped at Ellen's words. He froze for a mere moment before continuing on and making up the feet he'd lost behind her.

"Alexi? Blaze?" Bill said between breaths as they continued their sprint.

Ellen cringed at the sound of their names as if he'd slapped her with them.

"They're- dead?"

"They couldn't fight it," She cried. "They couldn't fight it off. My gods, I never should have let them do it. I was supposed to protect them and I failed them."

The boys were gone.

Bill suddenly realized that Ellen might not know about Margot at all.

"Ellen, did you speak to Helo?" He tested.

He could tell that she was hardly paying him any attention. She wasn't listening and he doubted that she could see straight with the swells of tears streaming from her eyes.

"What? Helo? No."

Ellen had in fact passed Helo as he jogged toward the control room, but neither had noticed the other in the chaos of the moment. Helo's only thoughts were getting to Sharon and their son. Katya was Ellen's immediate goal and in the fog of recent devastation she could hardly take in her surroundings. They'd crossed each other without even realizing.

Bill's heart sunk even lower.

"Ellen. Ellen stop. Just for a second," Bill pleaded.

He reached for her shoulder and slowed his pace forcing her to do the same.

"I can't, Bill! Frak! I can't right now!"

"Ellen, look at me!"

"What, Bill!? Damn it!"

"Ellen...the boys. Gods, I'm so sorry," He said shaking his head. "It isn't your fault. You didn't fail them. You didn't, but...but I failed you...I failed everyone…"

"Bill, what the frak..."

"I didn't bring Margot home, Ellen. She's gone. She was shot. She completed her mission but she didn't make it."

Bill watched as a new wave of horror overcame the woman in front of him.
She doubled over as if she were about to retch and he caught her right before her knees connected with the floor.

Ellen began to wheeze and gasp. She couldn't seem to control her body enough to take in a solid breath. She felt as if she'd just been pummeled by a bag of bricks that had knocked the air right out of her lungs. She felt Bill pulling her up to meet him face to face. She heard him calling her name but once again his voice sounded so far away. She could hardly think.

"Ellen, gods, I'm so sorry, Ellen. She was a good girl, a fine officer. I'm sorry," Bill said as he held her up by her shoulders. "She did it. She was so brave. She saved us. She saved everyone. Margot was a hero...but I couldn't bring her home. I'm sorry."

Ellen simply couldn't processes what he'd told her. She'd heard it. She knew what Bill he'd just said. Her body had responded before she could get her brain to catch up. She knew that she'd just lost three children, but she couldn't allow herself the time to let it truly sink in. She had to keep going. There was still one left who needed her.

She let out a strangled sob before pulling herself from Bill's grip.

"Let go of me!" She shouted as she turned and continued on her way with her escorts following.

"Ellen wait! Where are you going!?"

"Kat! Godsdamn it!" Ellen screamed in rage over her shoulder, her red eyes nearly bugging out of her skull. "She's hurt. I don't know what happened. I need to get to her!"

"Frak!"

As Bill's exploitive echoed down the hall they both sped up and ran together full speed the rest of the way to to the ward.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR C

COMMAND CONTROL CENTER

TEMPORARY CYLON TRANSMISSION UNIT

YEAR: 2316

Sam wished that he could get down to Med Ward. Kara was hurt and he wanted nothing more than to get to her. The security at the control room hatch had been instructed not to let anyone in or out of the room unless they had been given direct permission.

Just minutes after Ellen had left the control room Saul had gone after her. His fear for his daughter had taken over and he had finally accepted that there was nothing more to be done for Alexi and Blaze.

The two bodies still lay on the floor waiting to be collected.

Sam knew better than to try and force his way through the marine guards. He might have tried it weeks ago, but now enough damage had been done. The military officers who surrounded the area would have no patience left for his antics. He'd served his purpose and the need for him was now greatly diminished. A scuffle with a marine wouldn't land him in the ward closer to Kara, it would most certainly get him beat up and thrown in the brig, out of the way so that others could mourn the dead and heal the wounded without his burdensome distractions. Sam wouldn't try to leave the room yet, but the waste of effort it would take wasn't all that was keeping him there. He couldn't bring himself to leave Sharon as she sat alone crying over her son's body. Although he couldn't leave her he couldn't find it within himself to comfort her. He couldn't offer her a calming hand to the shoulder or any words of sympathy. He wouldn't know where to start if he tried. Sharon had come into her new life and embraced what it had to offer her. She had been told that she had a child and she had accepted that fact, as strange and wrong as it was. She had seen the boy as her son, her flesh and blood and she had loved and cared for him accordingly for the short time that she knew him. Sam couldn't understand that acceptance and love and so he couldn't imagine how it would feel to lose it. Anything he could say to Sharon would sound hollow and he didn't want to disrespect her loss in that way. He wouldn't go to her but he wouldn't leave her either. He would sit off in the shadows letting her grieve and he would make sure that she wasn't alone.

While Sam tried his best to give Sharon her privacy and block out her sorrowful whimpers he couldn't help but be distracted by the noise of some commotion coming from beyond the hatch. There were raised voices but he couldn't tell what they were saying. It was when he heard the muffled exclamation of 'let me in' that he finally recognized one of the voices as Helo's.

Sam rushed to his feet. From the sounds of it the guards were refusing the man access to the room. He looked over at Sharon kneeling by the bodies. It was a dreadful site. He wondered if the marines outside the hatch would even tell Helo what happened. It was doubtful that the military wanted the loss of the two hybrid officers to get out into the public just yet. The guards had probably been instructed to keep quiet until the scene had been cleared and things had settled, but this was not the public shouting in the halls to be let in. It was the father of one of the dead boys beyond the door. Sam knew Helo well. He'd fought beside him on a radiation soaked planet and he'd flown with him in combat. The man was dutiful and loyal, but his family came first. Sam knew that one way or another Helo was going to get through the door. He couldn't let him walk in blind. He couldn't let him stumble upon his devastated wife as she wept over their dead son. As the voices rose in volume once more Sam rushed to the hatch and opened it.

"Just let me in, damn it!" The large man demanded.

"Helo!" Sam shouted getting his attention.

"Anders, would you tell these frakkers to let me through?"

"Mr. Anders, you should get back inside," One marine told him. "No one else is supposed to leave or enter the room just yet. Commander's orders."

"Would you gorillas back the frak off?!" Sam shouted. "Do you see what just happened in there? We saved your collective asses! So did this man!" He said inches from a marine's helmeted face.

"Mr. Anders, we understand that, but…"

"Anders, where the frak is the Colonel?" Helo angrily interjected. "Can't he get these idiots to let me through?"

"He's not here," Sam explained. "Ellen had to rush to Med Ward. He followed her there not long ago. I'm surprised you didn't pass them in the halls."

Helo shook his head. He hadn't seen either of them. He'd either totally missed them or they had taken another route.

"I didn't. Is Ellen okay? Was she hurt?"

"No, it wasn't her," Sam corrected. "It was Ka...It was their kid. Katya."

Helo's brows came together in concern.

"Is she alright?"

"I don't know," Sam grimaced. "Helo, a lot went on up here while you were gone."

"I know. I know that. A lot happened down on Earth too." Helo felt himself starting to sweat at the thought of breaking the news to Sam. "Look can we go inside? I need to get to Sharon and Blaze and I really need to talk to you about the mission, Anders."

Sam looked the guards up and down.

"Yeah," He nodded. "Yeah, Helo. Unless these buffoons want to go up against the both of us then yeah. We can go in. I just…"

"Sharon's in there, isn't she?" Helo tested with narrow confused eyes.

"Yeah," Sam nodded at a loss of where to start. "She's in there."

"What about Blaze?"

Sam tried to gulp back his emotions but it didn't work. His eyes began to water thinking of Sharon on the other side of the hatch.

"She's with him," He answered in a less than steady voice.

"Anders, what...what's going on?"

Sam gathered all the courage he had and he looked the other man in the eye.

"Helo, Blaze...Blaze and Alexi didn't make it. They sent the virus out together, but in the end they couldn't stop it from infecting them when it bounced back. They stopped it from getting into the stream, but they couldn't fight what it was doing to them. Blaze is gone. Your son is gone."

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR C

MED WARD LASER SURGICAL BAY

YEAR: 2316

Katya and Laura were found by accident. A few members of a marine platoon were doing checks on the corridor and heard Laura's cries from the arms locker. After seeing the extent of the Captain's injuries one marine doubled back and retrieved a backboard stretcher from an emergency supply station. They knew they were risking further damage by moving her without trained medics, but they could see that her need for immediate medical attention outweighed any chance that they could be making matters worse. They made the decision to keep her face down and transport her in the position they had found her. The team carried Katya on the board three quarters of the way with Laura jogging at her side. Once the marines were finally able to get through to medical dispatch an emergency transport cart was sent to meet them and rushed Katya the rest of the way to the infirmary.

Laura could hardly remember the ride. She just knew that she had rambled a stream of inane encouragement into Katya's ear the entire way. She must have told her a dozen times over that they were almost there, that she was going to be okay, that she wasn't going to leave her, yet the words of love that she so badly wanted to proclaim were never uttered.

Laura knew the situation was dire. The medic team had bypassed any form of triage and rushed Katya right into the laser surgical bay. On doctor's orders they kept her face down when they moved her to the operating table; a thin t-shaped surface made of hard lucite plastic. The large looming arm of a surgical laser was suspended above it.

After the move and the addition of an oxygen tube under her nose Katya seemed to become more alert. Though her lucidity came in the form of screams and moaning shrieks of agony Laura was eerily relieved to hear her voice again.

Katya's clothes were quickly cut off leaving her in nothing but a thin sheen of perspiration. After an internal scan was performed she was strapped, still face down, to the table with her arms extended out to her sides. She screamed as the attending medic fastened every strap and buckle. There was one on each wrist and bicep and one to keep her head down and turned toward the right. Another crossed over her shoulder blades. Though she couldn't move from the waist down she couldn't stop her upper body from writhing in pain and jostling her lower extremities. Straps were fastened over her hips, knees and ankles to steady her. The results of her scan had revealed a spinal fracture among her other injuries. Laura knew the restraints were for the girl's own protection, but it didn't stop her from sobbing at the sight of her daughter panting and straining under the tension of the straps.

The staff had allowed Laura to stay with Katya the entire time, only asking her to back away during the initial table transfer and body scan. Soon Katya lost strength and all that she could do was cry against the cold hard table begging in mumbled pleas for help. She cried for painkillers, for anything that would make her agony stop, but mostly she cried for Ellen and Alexi; asking for them over and over. Laura stood by her side stroking back her sweat dampened hair. As they awaited the doctor she continued her learned mantra; assuring Katya that it was all going to be okay.

"I messaged, Ellen. She'll be here soon. It's alright, Kat," Laura said over her tears as she pushed away a few errant hairs from Katya's damp temple for about the hundredth time.

Katya's response was a pitiful mewling and in that moment Laura thought that she truly did sound like a poor injured kitten. Every tiny whimper battered at Laura's heart. She had attempted to call Ellen several times. That part was true, but she had yet to get a response. Her assurance that Ellen was on her way was only a comforting lie. Laura knew that Katya desperately wanted Ellen there, but she was dreading looking the other women in the eye. She felt totally responsible. This had happened to their daughter while she was with her. If she hadn't wanted to wait for Bill on the deck so badly then Katya wouldn't have been with her at all. Ellen would have never ordered her to go. Laura already felt the guilt starting to consume her. Eventually Ellen was going to get there and she would hear the same tender mewling sound from her suffering kitten. Her heart would take the same pounding as Laura's and then, at the sight of her daughter's crippled bruising body her rage would surely erupt.

"It's okay, sweetheart…"

Katya's eyes were shut tight as she cringed. She was becoming less vocal and that scared Laura more than her shrill screams.

"Gods, why did you do it, Kat?. Why did it have to be you all along? You shouldn't have pushed me out of the way, sweetheart. It wasn't worth it."

Laura's words were barely coherent as they melded with her crying. Whether Katya understood her or not she wasn't very responsive. Her eyelids were squeezed tightly, blocking any tiny sliver of light from getting through.

"Kat?" Laura tested, afraid that she was starting to lose consciousness again.

Slowly Katya cracked one eye open to let Laura know that she was awake.

"I used to dream of this," She said in a weak and strained droll.

Laura flinched at the thought, assuming Katya was referring to some awful nightmare of being hurt and in pain.

"This?"

Katya tried to shake her head but painfully failed.
"Not this. You," She corrected through clenched teeth. "When I was very young…I would dream of you comforting me when I was scared or…or hurt…or sick…I would imagine you were by my side- like this."

Laura lost all composure at Katya's agonizing confession

"I'm so, so sorry, sweetheart," She cried as she bent down to kiss at the shell of Katya's ear. Her skin was overheated from the pain and it felt hot against Laura's lips. "I'm here now. I'm here. I'm right here with you."

"I know," Katya replied before growling through another wave of misery.

When a medic came up beside them to hang a new IV Laura looked up. It was a unit of blood. She suddenly remembered the story that Katya had once told her about a time when she was gravely ill as a child. She'd needed a transfusion from her birthmother. Ellen forced the government to approve the extraction of the body from stasis so they could draw the blood; the strange mix of Hera's blessed gift and Laura's own DNA, the only blood that her daughter could ever accept. She remembered that Katya said a precautionary supply was collected before putting the body back in stasis just in case it ever became necessary again. Laura knew that she was now looking at that very supply, her own blood hanging above their heads and dripping into her daughter's veins. The time of necessity was now. She stared at the deep red bag as if she could will its contents to do its job. She was so distracted that she didn't notice the doctor coming up beside them. Katya however saw the familiar lab coat and military dress skirt as soon as it came within her line of vision.

"Tawny!" She screeched for her friend.

Laura's focus was pulled back to the table. Finally they would get some answers.

The doctor rushed to Katya's side.

"I know it hurts, Kat. I know," Tawny said in a steady, yet urgent tone. "I'm going to fix you up. I swear. Just hang on. We're getting you prepped for the laser now. You've done this before a few times back when my dad would fix up your ankles and feet from ballet. Remember? No cuts, no stitches. It's all done on the inside."

"The lab, Tawny!" Katya exclaimed ignoring her own prognosis. "The civ side of the station, what's going on?!"

"Oh," Tawny said, quickly glancing over at Laura. She figured things were hectic and confusing enough to get away with answering. "It's okay Kat. I know for sure that they're fine. I know it. I called. It's fine. I promise. Don't even worry about that."

Katya let out a grateful breath, but only relaxed for a split second before letting out another guttural groan.

"Tawny, I need Lex! And Ellen. Get Ellen! I want them here!"

"I put out urgent calls to both of them, Kat. It's still crazy out there but they did it. They did it, Kat. It's amazing," Tawny told her friend in hopes that it would boost her morale to know that the war they had been born into was finally over.

At some point between the rush to medward and the body scans Katya had realized that her people must have succeeded and yet she was in too much bodily torment for it to even sink in.

"I need them,Tawny," she insisted, unable to think of much else.

"I'm sure they'll be here soon but, Kat, I have to work quickly. You have a spinal injury. I need to get to it with the laser as fast as possible before it becomes permanent. You'll be awake for it but once that's done I'll put you out to do the rest. Okay? No more pain after that. I just need to see that you can move those twinkle toes to dance another day. Got me?"

"The rest?" Katya whimpered.

"Yeah, Kat. You're bleeding, honey," Tawny told her, keeping her tone light despite the actual severity of the injuries. "I'm gunna stop it but I need to work fast."

"Bleeding?" Laura worriedly asked. "Where? How bad?"

Tawny silently shook her head at the inquiry, knowing that Katya couldn't lift her gaze enough to see.

Laura's stomach dropped at the doctor's gesture. She obviously didn't want her patient to hear how bad it truly was.

Laura looked to the bag of blood again. It truly was a precious and limited resource.

"Honey, I'm going to take off your jewelry," Tawny told Katya as she gently reached for the clasp at her nape. "You can't wear it. It could reflect the beam."

Tawny began to remove the tiny A pendant from Katya's neck.

"But I never take them off."

Tawny palmed the chain and moved to Katya's left hand. She cautiously slipped her wedding band from her trembling finger.

"I'll hold them for you, Kat," She assured as she tucked the items into her lab coat pocket. "You can have them back as soon as you wake up."

From the lapel of her lab coat Tawny removed a small pen-like device.

"Cuff has to come off too, Kat. You'll get it back in recovery."

Tawny bent down and gently looked for the lock indentation on Katya's station cuff. She inserted the tool and the cuff popped open with a hiss. Tawny took it and added it to the precious possessions she held in her pocket.

"All set."

"Please don't start until Lex or Ellen gets here, Tawn!" Katya begged. She had never been in such pain. Even with the twins. From the chest down she felt like she was being torn apart inside. Though she couldn't move her legs she could still feel them. White hot jolts shot from her lower back down into her thighs and straight to her toes. She knew that it was bad and no matter how encouraging Tawny sounded she already knew deep down in her bleeding gut that she would never dance again. She was terrified and she was panicked. Though she was grateful for the solace of Laura's soothing voice she was still desperate for Ellen's presence. She yearned for her familiar comforting scent and her calming hand to hold. "Please, Tawny? I want Aunt Ellen."

Tawny's eyes went to the monitors on the wall. Katya's blood pressure was still dropping. There was no way. She didn't have time to blink much less wait on guests to arrive.

"Tawny," Laura interjected on Katya's behalf. "Can't you just hold off a few more minutes? She's terrified. She wants to see her husband. She wants her mother here with her."

"Laura, listen to me," Tawny said taking the other women by the wrist and dragging her a few feet out of Katya's earshot. "There is no time to wait. None. I have to get to that spinal repair before it's too late for me to fix at all. It's time sensitive. Her paralysis could become permanent if I don't get to the nerves soon. And I need to do it very quickly, Laura, because she's bleeding badly from multiple organs that all need to be repaired before we run out of transfusions to give her."

Laura's hand covered her mouth. It was worse than she'd thought. Far worse.

"Oh my gods. Tawny, she…"

"Just stay with her until Ellen gets here," The doctor instructed cutting her off. "Then I'll need you with a medic. Kat's going to need as much blood as you can spare."

Laura was wide-eyed as Tawny walked off to further prepare for the painstaking endeavor. Finally her cuff buzzed. Her burning bleary eyes quickly read the words; On my way. It was Ellen. She was coming.

Laura rushed back to Katya's side and brushed her shaking knuckles against the girl's tear stained cheek. She looked far too pale.

"Laura, where's Lex? Where's Ellen?"

"Ellen's on her way, sweetheart. She just messaged me. She's coming. I promise this time. Just hang on. You're going to be fine. Tawny has a plan."

Katya struggled to breathe. Every suck of air felt shortened and halted as it seared through her sternum. She couldn't move her legs and she wished like hell that she couldn't feel them either. The molten shocks were becoming more than she could bear. How was she going to make it through the procedure wide awake? The feeling of pure terror that had once only consumed her nightmares was now so real. This time she knew that she wouldn't escape it by waking up.

"Please don't let them start until Aunt Ellen gets here. Please, Laura."

"I can't stop them, Kat. It's what's best for you. I swear I won't leave your side until Ellen gets here. I promise you won't be alone even for a moment. Do you hear me?"

Katya let out another agonizing roar as a medic placed an electrode at the base of her spine.

"Can't you people see she's in frakking agony?!" Laura snapped. "Give her something for the pain for frak sake!"

The surgical tech took a step back from the table.

"She'll be knocked out as soon as the spinal repair is over, Ma'am," The medic explained. "We can't risk thinning her blood with too much pain medication before the internal bleeds are repaired."

"Damn it, Tawny!" Laura shouted across the room. "She's NOT going to be able to keep still if she's shaking like this! You want her awake, don't you? She's going to PASS OUT if you don't give her some kind of frakking relief soon!"

The doctor quickly walked back over and ran her fingers over Katya's forehead and through her sweat soaked hair. She'd never been so nervous to do a procedure before and she was trying her damndest to hide her fear while still expressing the matter's urgency.

"Kat? Focus. Can you hear me?" Tawny began. "Look, I can give you a mild painkiller to take the edge off, but I need you awake for now. You know that you're going to feel this part, right?" The thought made Tawny cringe herself, but she needed to make sure that Katya understood. The last patient she'd worked on without anesthetic was Sam and it had been his own stupid choice. She could still remember the sounds of his screams, and his injuries hadn't been nearly as bad. "I need you to be able to tell me when you can move your legs again. We need you awake and able to communicate. As soon as that's over everything else will be done with you out cold. You won't feel a thing after that. I promise. You can just sleep deep and I'll wake you when it's all better."

Katya closed her eyes without answering. Tawny bit her lip as she noticed the increasing pallor of her cheeks. She turned to Laura and spoke in a low voice.

"We need to get things started."

"Ellen is on her way. Can't you delay it just a moment? She wants her mother."

"Her mother is already here," Tawny snapped catching Laura off guard. "Now take a seat beside her and let me get to work."

Tawny called for the surgical attendant to place a chair by Katya's head so that it was in her line of vision. When it was set up she emphatically motioned for Laura to sit.

Laura swallowed hard. She had promised her daughter that she wouldn't be alone for a moment and she'd meant it, but she also knew that it meant she would soon be witnessing her child in the throes of fierce suffering. She'd never been more afraid.

When she walked up to the head of the bed where the chair sat she put her palm over Katya's hand below her bound wrist.

"I'm here, Kat. Ellen is…"

"Oh gods! What happened!?" Came Ellen's wildly frantic voice from the room's entrance.

"She's here sweetheart," Laura announced as she patted Katya's heated cheek. "She's here. Just hold on."

In a flash Laura got up and rushed to meet Ellen. She had to stop her before she could get too close to the operating table. She had to warn her first. She had to prepare her.

"Laura! Oh gods, was she shot?"

Laura's throat tightened as a mixture of guilt and bile tried to force its way up. She winced and shook her head.

"No," She managed to squeak. "She was hit. There was an accident."

"What?"

"A crate in an ammunition locker…it fell…Oh Lords, Ellen," Laura blurted. "I'm so sorry."

Ellen's eyes doubled in size as the words hit her. She'd just lost Margot and both boys. How could this be happening? She felt like her world was imploding and it was all her fault. She should have never let Alexi and Blaze near the virus. She should have never let Margot leave the station, and she sure as hell should have never ordered Katya to take Laura to the hanger deck. She'd forced her go, she'd been so mean, so harsh.

Whatever happened to the girl it was all her fault.

"I shouldn't have sent her," Ellen said to herself as she looked over Laura's shoulder in stunned horror. "I was angry. What did I do?"

"Ellen, she saved me," Laura rambled on. "She pushed me out of the way she…I'm so, so sorry…"

Ellen shook her head.

"What? Wa..what the hell happened?" Ellen asked through her confusion as the family physician appeared beside them. "Tawny…" Ellen said sternly. She immediately saw the fear in the young woman's eyes. Ellen had known Tawny Xao since she was just a child and she knew her well enough to see how afraid she was. "Talk, Tawny," She ordered.

"Now!"

Tawny had already been nervous but in Ellen Tigh's presence her anxiety shot through the roof. She'd always been intimidated by the magnanimous cylon women. She felt her confidence start to wither and the weight on her shoulders seemed to rapidly double. She immediately felt like a child trying to explain a broken mirror to an elder.

"She, um, Kat has a spinal fracture. Both hips too and her pelvis," She added, disclosing more than she'd even told Katya or Laura. "She'll need a future procedure to fix those other fractures. They are low priority. The spinal has to be first. It has to be done now. It should be easy to fix but she's going to feel it. I wish it wasn't so, but I need her awake to test the repair. I need to do it before the nerves start to die and the damage becomes permanent. She's almost done being prepped. We need to hurry. Once it's done she'll be put under for the rest."

"The rest?" Ellen gawked.

"She's bleeding…heavily. Internally…" Tawny said shaking her head and welling up with tears. With Laura she'd stayed professional and stern. In front of Ellen she felt like she was about to crumble. "We can't even tell where it's all coming from," She ruefully confessed.

The revelation made Laura's hair stand on end. Tawny hadn't told them that before. What else was she keeping from them?

The doctor's lips started to tremble.

"Kat may as well have been hit by motorized cart going full speed," Tawny went on. "It all but crushed her, Ellen..I..I…"

"Don't," Ellen warned pointing a finger in the young doctor's face. "Don't start crying, Tawny. Don't you dare. You fix her. You go and fix her. Got it?"

Tawny quickly sniffed and tried to compose herself.

"We're gunna. We are. My dad's already in the console booth. I've gotta start."

"Promise me, Tawny. Frak! Promise me, damn it."

"Ellll," Katya groaned from the table.

Ellen immediately rushed to her side allowing Tawny to escape without having to answer.

"Ellennn!"
"I'm here, baby," She said as she leaned down and cupped Katya's cheek.

Laura stood close by, shaking like a leaf as she watched the meeting.

"Elllennn, Aunt Ellen," Katya cried over and over.

The medic returned to the side of the bed.

"We're almost ready, Captain," She announced. "Mrs. Tigh, if you're staying you can sit there," The medic offered gesturing to Laura's chair. "You may hold her hand, but don't touch anything on her body above the wrist restraint no matter what."

Ellen quickly dropped into the seat. She was finally at eye level with Katya and it made her sick to her stomach. It should have been comforting to finally see her child's eyes, but she flinched at the sight of the girl's wild blue gaze. It wasn't just the agony that shown within their depths that Ellen found so devastating. It was knowing that the pain would be permanent once she finally told Katya that her husband was gone.

"Ms. Roslin, only one of you can stay, I'm afraid," The medic continued. "Admiral Adama is waiting for you in the surgical booth with Colonel Tigh. They're getting briefed by Dr. Xao. Please join them and when we're ready for you I'll send someone to bring you to your blood draw."

Laura's eyes went to the glass window. Bill was back. He had returned to her just like he'd promised. She had so badly wanted to be there for him when he stepped onto the flight deck. She'd tried so hard to get to him. If he knew what her attempt had cost them she wasn't sure that he would ever forgive her. As it was, she would never forgive herself.

Laura quietly nodded. She looked down upon her daughter's anguished body and became weak in the knees. The delicate black lines of the inked art that adorned the girl's ribs were now mottled with deep purple bruises. Her nude form was slick with sweat and shook so fiercely that she nearly vibrated. Laura moved to the head of the surgical table and bent down to give Katya a kiss atop the crown of her hair.

"I'm not going far," She whispered.

Internally she was screaming; screaming in anger and guilt and frustration. She desperately wanted to leave her daughter with a verbal expression of her love and yet her voice was trapped by anxiety, panic and terror.

"It's time, Ms. Roslin," The medic urged, cutting off Laura's failed attempt.

She quickly ran her fingers over Katya's flushed cheek and then turned to leave.

As Laura passed Ellen's seat she momentarily stopped at her side. She took her free hand and gave it a squeeze. It was trembling as if it were attached to a motor. Shared terror coursed between their joined hands as they held on tight. Laura didn't know how Ellen managed, but she gave a tight squeeze in return before they reluctantly let each other go.

When Laura looked up toward the surgical control booth she saw Bill and Saul behind the glass with the Xaos. Bill was finally there and safe, but their reunion wouldn't be one of celebration.

She rushed into the small room eager to be in his arms, but what she found upon entering stopped her cold in her tracks.
Saul was facing the wall sobbing. His hands were gnarled like an angry bird's talons as he seemed to claw at the flat surface in front of him.

Bill was at his side struggling to keep the frenzied man upright.

Laura looked toward the surgical controls when she heard yet another source of bellowing. Tawny was prepping the control screen in front of her, but she too had fresh tears streaming down her face and was sobbing aloud as she worked by her father's side.

"What am I going to tell her?" Saul wailed as Bill held him by his shoulders. "How can I look my daughter in the eye and tell her? I can't!"

Laura looked back and forth between the young doctor and the Colonel. Something wasn't right. It wasn't just Katya's injuries that had everyone so upset.
"What? Tell her what?" She asked in a new wave of panic.

She looked to Bill and her stomach dropped. Earlier in the day she'd assumed that she would be happily embracing him once they finally reunited. There was nothing joyful about this meeting. Bill's face was set deep in grief and instead of rushing to greet her he held tightly onto his old friend who was in obvious despair.

"The boys," Bill told her.

Laura felt a chill run down her spine. No. No not that.

"What- what about them?" She tested, but she knew then that Saul's state couldn't be mistaken for anything but mourning.

"They were my boys. Much as anyone's! They were!" The man cried in sorrow.

"Oh gods…no…" She gasped bringing her hand to cover her mouth.

Bill finally let the Colonel sink to the floor with his support. There Saul continued to sob into the palms of his hands.

With Saul safely seated Bill allowed himself to go to Laura.
He wrapped her in his arms and buried his face in the crook of her neck.

"The virus…they weren't strong enough, Laura. They sent it out, but they couldn't block it once it came back and…Gods…Sharon and Ellen and Saul…they watched those boys die right there on the control room floor."

"Lords of Kobol," Laura cried.

"And Margot…" Bill rasped. "She…I…I…didn't bring her back." His admission was laced with guilt and regret.

"I should have gone in her place, damn it!" Saul whaled upon hearing Margot's name.

The news of the girl's demise was fresh. Bill had the burden of telling Saul as soon as he'd arrived in the ward just moments behind he and Ellen.

"I didn't bring her back," Bill repeated, "She's gone and now Katya is…she's…"

Laura went stiff in his arms. If Margot, Blaze and Alexi were all dead then Katya was the last one left.

"No. No, Bill. I don't know what they told you, but Katya's going to be fine," She told him in firmly whispered insistence.

"Oh Gods, they're gone!" Saul wallowed, his body in a puddle of misery on the floor.

"I can't!" Tawny shouted, her emotions further rattled by the Colonels wild sorrow. "I can't fucking do this, Daddy!" She said through her tears with a slam of her open fist against the console.

She'd only just gotten the news of the others as she entered the surgical control booth and met with Tigh and Adama. Now in the midst of her own grief and the cries and lamenting of those around her she was expected to save a life. She couldn't take it.

Xao spun his chair to face the distraught trio behind him.

"We grieve with all of you but please, my daughter and I need to work. Too much life has been lost today. Let us save your daughter."

At the doctor's words Saul sprang up on one knee.

"You better, you hear me?" He charged with a pointed finger. "I can't lose all of them. I can't! I can't lose my little girl."

"Dad!" Tawny shrieked in frustration.

She just wanted him to stop the madness and get everyone out of her workspace.

"Tawny, focus!" Her father commanded.

"Dad, I can't. Won't you take over? Please?"

He shook his head denying her request.

"You are young and tenacious. Your hands are nimble. Your reaction time is sharp. You are Yekaterina's best chance. Her only chance. There will be time for tears. Now steady your hand."

Tawny tried to compose herself as she set every control and marked every target on her screen.

"All of you. Please," Xao once again beseeched the distressed people behind them, "Go find a seat somewhere in the clinic. We will alert you all as soon as we are through."

The ready light appeared on the console letting Tawny know that that surgical attendant had completed prepping the room and the patient.

It was time. She had to get to work no matter what else was going on; with or without an audience at her back. Tawny quickly forced herself to clear the sadness from her throat before she hit the com button. She couldn't let Katya hear how upset she was.

Once she hit the switch her voice went through to the operating room.

"Kat? Honey?" She said looking at her patient through the booth's window. "We're ready. I know those straps are uncomfortable but don't fight them. You can hold on to Ellen's hand but do your best to keep steady." Tawny quickly turned off her end of the com system when she felt emotion starting to rise within her once again. She hadn't anticipated how hard it would be to speak to Katya now knowing that her husband and closest friends were dead. The realization hit her hard. She might very well be able to save Katya, but part of her was still going to die once she finally found out about the others. Tawny clenched her fists. She had to save Katya all the same. Though she had just unknowingly lost a large part of her family there were others who still very much needed her to be well. Most importantly there were two new lives in a lab across the station who would now be depending on Katya alone.

"Tawny, please put me out! Please! I can't take it!" Came Katya's shrill plea.

The wretched sound of her strained voice filled every inch of the small control room. Tawny cringed and hit the com button again.

"I'm going to give you a warning," She continued with her instructions, painfully ignoring Katya's desperate requests. "Then I'll let you know right before I start. Just trust me, Kat."

Tawny turned the com system off once again and leaned heavily back in her chair to catch her breath and rub at her temples. For a moment she wondered where Anders was. She wondered if he knew, if he could sense what was happening.

"It's time for you to work," Her father told her in a calming tone.

She glanced at him with red resentful eyes. She knew that he was hurting just as much as she was and yet he was able to keep his composure. It angered her.

"We will do it together," He promised.

With a dry gulp she nodded.

In the operating room Katya whimpered, unable to do anything more.

Ellen was living a nightmare as she looked at her. All of her worst fears were coming true. She couldn't believe it. She'd lost so much in just the blink of an eye. As she looked down at her daughter; the girl who had long been the center of her universe, she silently cursed fate. Her thoughts went to Daniel and her cheeks instantly went red hot. She couldn't do it again. She couldn't lose Katya too.

Ellen wanted to switch places with her daughter. She wanted to take away all of Katya's pain and fear, but she could offer her nothing but company and pitifully unsure words of comfort. At one point she had almost offered to project. It had been a ritual for them whenever Katya was sick or scared. She would take the girl somewhere else. Usually to their special beachside spot and at the very least they would escape their visual surroundings. Thankfully this time she had caught herself at the last moment before she made a grave mistake. Ellen realized that if they were to connect in that way Katya would surely be able to read her raw raging emotions. It would be dangerously easy for her to find out about Alexi and the others. Ellen couldn't let her know yet. Katya needed all of her strength to fight for her life.

"Kitten, I'm right here," Ellen attempted to assure her. "You can do this. I'm not leaving you. I love you, so, so much. I'm right here. Hold on to my hand, baby."

Katya cringed and closed her eyes against the rooms blaring lights. They seemed to be getting brighter and brighter.

"Kit, I'm so sorry I yelled at you," Ellen cried." I didn't mean it. I'm so sorry I made you go. This is all my fault. Grip my hand, honey; as tight as you need to."

Laura watched the two through the window of the surgical booth. Tawny had left their side of the com system on and she could hear everything that Ellen was saying. As painful as the spinal procedure was going to be for Katya, Laura understood that Ellen was also about to experience an intense suffering of a different kind. Watching her child in agony and not being able to do a thing to stop it was as near to torture as Laura could imagine and Ellen was getting a front row seat.

Laura knew that if she wanted to she could do as the Xaos had asked and leave the surgical bay. She could avoid watching her daughter's torment with a valid excuse. She could go off and give blood and pray like crazy until someone came to let her know that it was all over. But Ellen Tigh had faced devastation three times over in the last hour and she was still fighting in the face of catastrophe. She was mourning three others and still she was holding on to her child's hand for dear life and willing her well again. She was bearing her burden as a mother, a caretaker and a guardian, and Laura was in painful awe of her. She couldn't let her do it alone. More than that she just couldn't leave Katya. She'd promised that she wouldn't go far.

"Would you all please step out?" Xao asked once more.

"No," Laura quickly answered. "No, please let me stay."
Tawny heard Roslin's defiance but she had no choice but to block it out. She had to get to work and leave the rest to her father.

"Ms. Roslin, please," The older Xao implored. "We'll need you to start giving blood soon."

"Then let me stay until your technicians are ready for me. I'll go as soon as they need me," She bargained but Xao appeared unmoved. "What if it was your child, Doctor?" Laura proposed glancing at his daughter's back for effect. "Please don't make me leave. I can't be next to her. She wants Ellen. Just let me stay here where I can be close. Please?"

"I can't do that," He grumbled.

"Well I'm not leaving," Saul unexpectedly declared as he rose from his crumpled position on the floor. "So you might as well let the lady stay too. I just watched my boys die. Frak, I left their lifeless bodies lying there on the control room floor. Don't you make me leave my wife and my daughter, Xao. Don't frakking do it!" He barked closing in on the space between him and the doctor.

Bill firmly pulled his friend back by the shoulder. Saul expected that the Old Man was getting ready to drag him out for his own good, but Bill stopped. Saul felt him place his other hand between his shoulders to brace his back in support.

"We aren't leaving, Doctor," Bill gravely told Xao. "You'll have to throw us all out."

"Daddy, just let them stay!" Tawny snapped. "We need to start. She's losing more blood!" Even with the digital internal diagram Tawny was still having trouble seeing which of Katya's organs were damaged most severely. There was so much blood clouding the image. "I need to get this damn spinal over with!"

"Very well," Xao ruefully relented. "The three of you will stay against the back wall. Keep quiet and let us work. If any one of you does anything to impede our efforts to save your daughter's life in the best way we know how I will have you all thrown out."

Tawny hit the com button.

"Please hang another unit of blood and glucose. Have seconds on the ready."

Katya heard Tawny's voice echoing through the room. The sound made her head throb.

"Ellen…"

"It's okay, kit. I'm right here. It's okay. You're tough as steel, baby. You can do this. I'm here with you. Uncle Saul is right over there. Bill and Laura too.

"They are?"

Ellen glanced back at the window to the booth. They really were all right there just feet away and she was suddenly so grateful to see them.

"Yes. Yes, kitten. All four of us. We all love you and we are right here with you."

Katya squinted. Her thoughts were disjointed and scattered in the throes of anguish, but she knew that something wasn't right. Her parents were all there. Where was her husband?

"Ell…Aunt Ellen…where's Lex?"

Ellen froze.

"Elle?"

"Kat," Tawny's voice rang in again. "This is your thirty second warning. We're ready," She announced but Katya heard none of it.

"Ellen?" She pressed again, staring intently at the woman's face. "Where's Lex?"

For Ellen, what was only a moment in time felt like an eternity. In that moment she sat there in a panic struggling to make something up, struggling to form a lie, struggling to say anything to her daughter that would get her through the tortuous procedure she was about to endure without knowing the terrible truth. In that one awful moment after hearing Katya utter her dead husband's name Ellen faltered. She couldn't hide the grief and loss from her eyes. She couldn't stop her lip before it quivered with sorrow. In that moment she had failed to keep her mask on and in the moment that followed it Katya's eyes flew open wide in horror.

"No…"

"Baby, I'm…"

"Hold on, Kat," Tawny's voice warned through the speakers of the room. "Here we go."

Katya screamed before the light of the laser ever hit the thin flesh over her spine. Though she cried and wailed in desolation through the entire procedure Ellen knew that she probably never even felt the searing beam penetrate her skin. Her heart was in far too much agony for her body to feel any physical pain.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR C

COMMAND CONTROL CENTER

TEMPORARY CYLON TRANSMISSION UNIT

YEAR: 2316

Sam watched Athena and Helo as they cried over their son's body. He wanted to go to them. He wanted to express how sorry he was but he couldn't. It wasn't just the profoundness of their grief that stopped him. His guilt made a fine barrier in itself. He watched them mourning their child, grieving and wishing that they had even a few more days, a few more moments with him. He'd dismissed and denied his own child. He'd refused it all. He'd shunned the very things that the Agathons sat there openly lamenting. He knew nothing of what they were feeling. He had no business consoling them. Sam decided to let them be, but soon his attentions went to the other young man's body that lay beside their son's.

The Sergeant's eyes were still eerily wide open. Sam supposed that in their hurry to get to their daughter the Tigh's hadn't had time to shut them. As he moved closer to the body he considered that perhaps it wasn't their haste that had stopped them from lowering the young man's lids. Perhaps they simply couldn't make themselves do it. Maybe they couldn't bring themselves to extinguish the blue flames of his gaze for fear that they would never see it again. As Sam knelt down by the fallen marine's side he hoped that one day Saul and Ellen would come to realize that wasn't the case at all. The light of the boy's eyes lived on. Eons ago Sam and Saul had designed the body of model Six while the others worked on her software. They'd given her legs to die for and breasts that could bring a man to his knees. They'd given her flaxen hair that looked like sunshine even in the darkness of space. And then after all of that, they'd given her Ellen's eyes. They'd done it as a tribute on Sam's suggestion. Ellen was their leader and their protector. It felt right to honor her in some way. They'd made the sixth cylon's eyes as beautiful and bright as Ellen's had shown as a young women back on their Earth. Sam had matched the blue perfectly. Tori and Gaelin had snarked at the overly sultry design of the Six, but Sam had always been proud of it. The cylon model held her own origin within her gaze; the eyes of one of her makers. Sam had seen it as a gift. Now the same perfect sky-blue pools were staring blankly and lifelessly up at him, set in a masculine yet familiar face; the son of a Six. Sam reached down and gently closed the boy's eyes and hoped that one day when Ellen was missing them she would remember that she only had to look in the mirror to find their image.

Sam was done sitting there and staring at death and despair. Frak the guards. He was getting out of there and making it to Kara.

He stood and bid a wordless goodbye to both fallen young men. His heart hurt for the lamenting couple before him, his heart hurt for Saul and Ellen. They were all loving parents and none of them deserved to have to bear living beyond the lives of their children. It was a dark thought that he wanted so badly to get away from.
Bracing himself for at least a minor confrontation in the hall Sam turned to leave.

"Anders," Helo called in a painfully strained voice.

"Yeah, Helo?" Sam turned and answered.

"Margot is dead."

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR C

MED WARD LASER SURGICAL BAY

YEAR: 2316

The spinal repair was swift as promised and from what they could tell it had been a success.

Once Katya was put under anesthesia her desperate screams finally stopped and Laura dropped to her knees behind the glass of the surgical control booth. The air had completely left her lungs and her mouth hung open in stunned horror. She could still hear the Xaos speaking at the console and the moaning drawls of Saul's intermittent cries, but everything sounded muffled and far away. When the door opened and a technician urgently called for her to follow them to her blood draw she didn't even feel Bill pulling her to her feet. When she was rushed out of the tiny room she kept her eyes downcast. She couldn't bring herself to even glance in the direction of the operating table as the technician ushered her through the surgical bay and out of the door.

Internal repairs were underway. Ellen sat hunched over in her chair with her forehead resting upon her sleeping daughter's limp hand. The surgical attendant kept out of the way of the moving laser. She stood by the utility counter where she could await instruction from the doctors and observe vitals on the screen in the corner of the room. Too frequently she came by to hang more blood or glucose before quickly returning to her post.

Ellen was so thankful when the Xaos proclaimed over the com speakers that the spinal repair had been successful. She was elated to see Katya's feet and toes start to move right in front of her eyes, but there was no time for celebration. Once Katya had been intubated and put under the moment of relief quickly disappeared and Ellen began to unabashedly weep at her side. The longer they worked on her internal injuries the more Ellen understood how much destruction had been done to her child's poor body.

Behind the glass Tawny kept her eyes on the screen in front of her. The 3D diagram of her patient was her main focus. The laser in the other room served in place of her healing hands as she meticulously guided it's arm. Somehow it made it easier for her to work without seeing flesh and blood at her fingertips. Now and then she listened to her father's minimal guidance but remained ever diligent. Only a few times did she look up to glance through the glass to see Katya's motionless body, Ellen's anxious posture and the medic dutifully waiting in the corner. The live diagram she faced was the true focal point of her painstaking work, the only way that she could see Katya's injuries in detail and repair them one by one.

It was too hard for Ellen to stare at Katya's sleeping face knowing that she was fighting for her life. Instead she kept her head downcast with her eyes on the pale green floor that appeared blurred by her constant tears. It was only when a tiny spot of liquid crimson splattered onto the flat sea of green below the table that Ellen's head quickly rose to see where it had come from. Despite being warned by the medical team not to move she didn't think twice about leaning over in her chair and craning her head to look over the expanse of the operating table. Ellen gasped in horror to find that a deep red pool had puddled between Katya's bare thighs and was now starting to drip off of the side of the thin tabletop.

"God's Tawny!" Ellen shouted, "She's bleeding out for frak sake!"

"Damn it!" Tawny swore at her station.

"Oh, gods no," Saul cried behind her.

The damage to the uterus was extensive. The hemorrhage wasn't totally unexpected, but Tawny knew that it meant she needed to work faster. If she could just stop the bleed then the non-vital organ could be removed at another time.

"Don't lose your focus, Tawny," Her father tamely warned.

She could feel beads of sweat starting to roll down her temples.

"I need another unit of blood!" She called over the com to her medic.

"Still waiting on Ms. Roslin's new units to arrive," The medic replied.

"Frak!" Ellen shouted as she stood to her feet. "Frak! Frak!"

"Damn it, Ellen!" Tawny squawked through the speakers. "Sit the fuck down or get out!"

She had to keep working. She had to work fast. Faster than she had been. They were running out of time.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR C

MED WARD PHLEBOTOMY ROOM

YEAR: 2316

Laura could hardly keep her eyes open as she reclined in her chair. She fought with all that she had to resist the weight of her heavy lids. After the second pint of her blood was drawn she had started to feel light-headed and drowsy. She'd been in and out ever since. Every time she nodded off she quickly shook herself awake again. Each time she awoke it dawned on her that she wasn't in fact having another horrible nightmare. She needed to stay conscious. She had to get back to Katya, but she couldn't yet find the strength to even lift the large cup of fruit juice that the technician had left her. Her whole body was shivering with a deep chill that wouldn't pass. Her palms were sweating and her stomach ached. She didn't know how much blood they had taken from her. She had a feeling that it was probably more than they should have and she didn't care one bit. As far as Laura was concerned they could have bled her dry if it meant saving her daughter.

"Laura?"

When she heard the sound of Bill's voice her eyes finally opened wide; her fearful anticipation no match for her body's exhaustion.

"Bill, what's going on?" She gasped as she tried to sit up.
He rushed to assist her and then handed her the cup of juice.

She nearly swatted it away.

"Bill, tell me," She demanded.

"They're through, Laura. It's done. She made it through the repairs. Tawny thinks she stopped all of the bleeding."

"Is she…"

"The Xaos wouldn't answer our questions," Bill continued. "When it was done they made us leave right away. Even Ellen. She's with Saul now. But Katya made it through, Laura. I saw it with my own two eyes."

"She made it," Laura cried. "She made it."

"She did," He nodded.

"Gods, her poor battered body," She wept into her palms. "She saved me, Bill. She saved me. It should have been me."

"It was an accident, Laura. Don't start blaming yourself. Ellen's beating herself up enough for the both of you."

"She is?"

"Yes."

Laura shook her head.

"But it's not her fault."

"Mother's guilt," Bill replied with a grunt. "And it won't do Kat any good coming from either one of you."

He picked up the cup again and tentatively offered it to her once more.

"They took her to a private ICU unit for monitoring. Once they move her to recovery we can see her, but you've got to be able to stand first, Laura."

She took the cup from him and quickly downed half of its contents.

"Not too fast," Bill warned.

Laura covered her mouth with her hand and let out a mix between a hiccup, a belch and a sob. Gulping the drink had been a mistake. For a moment she thought that she might be sick. She closed her eyes and tried to take a deep calming breath, but it shuttered all the way down.

"I want to get up," She told Bill when the worst of the sensation had passed.

"Then finish that juice slowly. You can't get up until you're actually capable. Your body needs to replenish its blood supply. Besides, it will probably be a little while before they let us see her."

Laura sighed and closed her eyes.

"Then I want to see Ellen."

Bill nodded.

"We will but I think we should give Saul and Ellen some time alone."

"My gods, Bill," Laura rasped as she leaned back in her chair. "This is all my fault."

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR C

MED WAR

YEAR: 2316

In a hallway of the infirmary Saul and Ellen clung to one another and cried without shame.
They cried in forlorn mourning of all that they had lost and in relief that their child had just been spared. They cried for their daughter's uncertain future and for her lost husband and companions who wouldn't have one at all.

"She made it, Ellen. She made it," Saul kept repeating, reminding them both of what they still had. "She's strong. She'll get better. She'll get better."

The Xaos had rushed them out of the surgical bay in haste as soon as they were through. The doctors wouldn't answer a single question, but they had all seen Katya's vitals for themselves. Her heart was beating and fresh units of Laura's blood were now pumping into her veins.

"Oh gods, Saul this is all my fault," Ellen cried.

"No. No it's not. Stop saying that. It's not true."

"I shouldn't have let Margot go. I should have sent Sam or, or gone in her place!"

"She was insistent, Ellen," Saul defended, though he had only minutes ago proclaimed the very same thing himself. "She wanted to go. She wanted to go with D'Anna."

"Our poor boys," Ellen bleated in sorrow. "My gods, I can't believe they're gone. This can't be happening, Saul. I should have never let them do it. You were right."

Saul gripped her shivering shoulders harder.

"Ellen, it was the only way. It was. They did it. They did it," He affirmed over and over through his tears. "Gods, Alexi…Our poor kit. I know what it is to lose the love of your life, to see them gone and dead before you. It's hell! Ellen, I can't frakkin' watch her go through that. I can't."

Ellen wiped her salt drenched cheek against Saul's tunic before leaning back.

"I want to see her. I need to be with her."

Saul nodded but then pulled her back into his embrace.

"We'll get to her. They'll let us in. We just have to hold on. She made it, Ellen. She made it. Just gotta wait a little bit longer."

Ellen let out a shuddering breath.

"Well then I want to see Laura."

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR C

MED WARD: OFFICE OF ORBIT MAJOR NING XAO, MD

YEAR: 2316

Within the confines of his office Xao took Tawny by the shoulders.

"I'm so sorry, my daughter," He told her, every word tinged with sadness. "You did well. As well as you could. There is nothing more to be done."

Tawny was still in a state of shock. She'd worked so hard. She thought that she could do it, but she'd done nothing but buy Katya some time.

"I could have…"

"No," Her father stopped her. "There was nothing more to be done. Nothing."

"I can't believe this is really happening," She whispered as new tears filled her eyes. "The twins...Now what? Margo, Lex, Blaze. They're all gone. Just like that."

Xao dropped his hands to his side and bowed his head.

"I never thought I would outlive these children," He said with a dismal frown. "Through all that I've watched them go through in their strange young lives, I never pictured this." He sighed and looked back to his daughter. No matter how personal the case was they had a job to do. "Later you and I will comfort one another, Tawny, but now…"

If they had the time to properly assess the true extent of Katya's injuries before the operation they would have seen it coming. Though they would have tried none-the-less, they would have been more prepared for the reality of the situation. Tawny had stopped the bleeding of every injured organ and ventricle, but it hadn't been enough to repair their functionality. Some organs had already stopped working. Others were fading and taking the rest of their crucial bodily systems down with them. As each organ failed it put more strain on Katya's heart.

"Now, I have to tell my best friend and her parents that I can't save her life," Tawny said to herself.

The words sounded so unreal.

Her father squeezed at her shoulder as he spoke.

"You will tell her because she is your friend. As your father, well…leave her parents to me."

Tawny nodded, relieved that her dad would at least take on that part of the burden. She knew that she could never look Ellen Tigh in the eyes and tell her that her child was dying. She wished her father the strength to get through it.

Everything seemed so wrong. They had won. The bots were completely disabled, the threat was gone. Earth was theirs again and yet it felt as if they had been totally defeated. Tawny had always dreamed of the day her people would be free. She thought that she would be so happy. The day had come and now she wished that it had never happened at all. She looked at her father once more as if she were waiting for further advice, anything that would somehow make her task easier, but he had nothing else to give her. She wiped at her eyes with her wrist and turned for the door.

"Dad," She stopped and called over her shoulder. "Sam Anders….he…he should know too."

Her father nodded and with that Tawny left his office for Katya's room.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR C

COMMAND CONTROL CENTER

TEMPORARY CYLON TRANSMISSION UNIT

YEAR: 2316

"I'm sorry, Helo."

"Sharon, you didn't…"

"But I did. I told him that he could do it. I told him over and over. I trained him. It wasn't enough."

"He wanted to do this, Sharon. He needed to do it. I saw it in his eyes. He needed to do this as much as everyone needed him to do it."

"He was special," Sharon sniffed. "He was funny and brilliant and kind. Why couldn't he live a full life? Why did fate see it fit to take him from a world he made better just by existing?

Helo's face went hot with anger at the bleak truth of his wife's statement.

"I dunno, Sharon. I dunno."

"Cpt. Agathon? Lt. Agathon," Kaplan called at their backs as he returned to the control room.

Helo looked over his shoulder at the man, unwilling to stand at attention. His service was done.

"I have a medic team here," The commander began. "They have to officially pronounce the bodies before they can be moved for a...uh, for a postmortem exam."

The usually stolid man could hardly get through his words.

"Moved?" Sharon cringed. "Now?"

"We're not ready, Sir." Helo added. "Could we please have just a while longer?"

Kaplan did his best to take in an even breath. His bicep throbbed under its tight bandage. The pain became worse whenever his heart rate sped up and looking at the bereaved couple before him was making it soar.

"We have so many fallen officers who will need to go through a similar process in a timely manner," Kaplan cautiously started to explain. "I can only assume that Cpt. Isakoff will want some time to say goodbye to her husband and flight partner once she's able. The Tighs would probably like some time as well. I'd like to keep these two men together for as long as possible. Knowing them since they were young, well, I feel like they would want it that way. I'd like to ask that you allow the medics to take them both to the ward for their exams at this time. Once they are transferred to the morgue I can offer you two all the time that you might need with your son."

The image of her son in the cold military morgue was another painful blow to Sharon's heart. Unable to answer she buried her head into husband's shoulder.

Helo gulped down the burning soreness that scratched at his throat. He glanced down at Balze's body and reluctantly nodded.

"Yeah," He said looking up at the commander. "Yeah...you can take him."

"Thank you, Captain," Kaplan said with a slight bow of his head. "I'll be personally escorting the both of them to the ward."

Kaplan needed to get down to the infirmary for his wound closure, but he knew that he would have accompanied the bodies anyway. It was the least that he could to do even begin to honor them.

When Helo nodded again the commander gestured for the medics to enter. They brought in two stretchers and began the process of recording Alexi's fatality first.

Sharon bent down to kiss Blazer's cheek.

"We'll see him again, Sharon," Helo told her. "We'll have some more time. Let's just let them get this over with. Then we can spend all the time we want. Right, Commander?" He tested the man.

"That's right. I'll personally call down to notify the morgue staff that you each have my explicit permission to be there with your son for as long as you need to."

Once Blaze was loaded up onto his gurney both bodies were wheeled out of the room. Kaplan solemnly followed leaving Sharon and Helo desperately holding on to one another.

"This isn't fair, Karl."

"I know, Sharon. I know. He's with Hera now. He's with Hera. He's with his sister. They're together."

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR C

MED WARD; ICU ROOM1

YEAR: 2316
Katya felt strange. There was pain, but that wasn't it. There was utter and total grief consuming her, but that wasn't it either. It wasn't fear or anxiety that she was feeling. It wasn't anything that she could define, but as soon as she had opened her eyes after surgery she'd felt it. When the orderlies had moved her to a bed and gently flipped her over to lay on her battered back she'd felt a sense of exhaustion unlike any other. It was as if just existing was taking all of her energy. Everything around her felt dulled. Her senses weren't working at full capacity. She could hear the sounds of the room; the station's familiar whirring around her, the beeps of the monitors she was hooked up too, even the clicks of Tawny's heels on the floor, but it all sounded so two-dimensional. Nothing vibrated, nothing echoed. Sounds faded as quickly as they came. Colors didn't look as bright and she couldn't smell the familiar odor of the Ward. She could feel a searing burning sensation in her back and a wrenching ache in her middle, but it was if the pain wasn't making it all the way to her brain. It hurt badly yet she had no impulse to react. She had no urge left to scream or cry though she knew that the pain was certainly strong enough to warrant it. Things felt far away, dimmed and blunted. It was eerie. She hoped whatever drugs they had her on would fade fast.

"You're awake," Tawny said softly.

Katya's bloodshot eyes strained to glance toward the sound of her voice.

"Are you in pain?" Tawny asked, already knowing the answer.

Katya just squinted.

"I didn't get to your hip fractures," Tawny continued. "Or your pelvis. They're still broken. You have a few cracked ribs too."

"I feel…" Katya spoke. The words burned her throat as if they were made of flames, "I feel…fuzzy."

Tawny winced.

"I know, Kat. Part of that's the anesthetic wearing off. I'm sorry about the pain. I can give you something stronger. Your spine was repaired but there's a lot of trauma and swelling." Tawny struggled with every word she was saying. It was all pointless and only served to delay the dark truth. "It worked though. You were able to move your feet before I put you out. Do you remember?"

She felt like a fraud and a liar as she stood there looking at her fading friend. She was dreading telling her, but every moment that she put it off made her feel even worse.

"I remember that my husband is dead," Katya bitterly bit in response.

Her voice was hoarse; nearly gone from all of her screaming in the operating room. Her bottom lip was puffed up and bore her bloody bite marks from where her teeth had clenched down as she tried to grit her way through the agony.

Tawny looked at Katya, bruised broken and widowed. She nodded her head in solemn confirmation.

"He is."

Katya squeezed her eyes shut tight. She took a shuddering burning breath that left her craving more air. Heavy droplets leaked from the corners of her eyelids.

"Blaze?" She questioned in a terrified whisper.

She opened her eyes to see Tawny nod again, delivering another blow to her heart.

Katya wished that her emotions were as dulled as her senses.

"Margot ? Margot, too right?" Katya wept. "I can feel it. I can. I'm alone. Aren't I? They're all gone."

Tawny's lips quivered.

"Yeah, Kat. They are."

As Katya silently cried Tawny held her hand. There was no consolation to give. There was only more heartache to come.

"What am I going to do?" Katya asked as if Tawny would truly have the answer. "I can't live without Lex."

Tawny's mouth opened and then shut again hesitating to speak.

As Katya looked at her she noticed that she was shaking. Tawny remained silent and after a moment Kat began to sense that it wasn't just because she was crying. Tawny was actually trembling. Her body was seized with restrained tremors. The look on her face wasn't just one of sadness it was of fear; fear of something still to come.

Katya quickly glanced around the small private room. Things seemed even odder than before; somehow less real, less solid. As strange as it was it was a familiar feeling and somehow she knew that she'd felt it once before. She'd come to know it for the first time standing in a sea of grassy plains with the winds sweeping through her hair.

"I just know that I'm done here," She'd told the man at her side, a soul who in one life had been her friend and lover and in another her long dead brother. "I've completed my journey…"

Katya blinked away the ancient image and opened her eyes to look around the room. It was as if her surroundings were ever so slowly fading or perhaps, she finally considered, maybe she was.

Suddenly she knew why Tawny was so afraid.

"I won't have to live without him," The words came past Katya's lips the instant she realized. She looked back at her friend; the young doctor who was stricken to shuddering silence with a look of contrition on her face. "Will I? Tawny?" Katya pressed. Though she was fairly certain that she knew the answer she needed to hear it out loud. "I won't have to live without Lex because...I'm dying. Aren't I?"

When Tawny's face wrinkled in anguish Katya had her answer. In her muted shock she hardly felt Tawny slump over the bed and began to cry desperately into her arm.

"I'm so sorry, Kat," Tawny bawled against her shoulder. "I tried so hard…"

Katya didn't hear the rest of her friend's apologetic sobs. Her mind began to race. There was no time for lamenting. There was no time for fear. There were things to be done, things to get in order. Until she was sure that there was a plan in place she couldn't allow herself emotion.

"Tawny," Katya said as her friend continued to whimper at her side. "Tawny, damn it. Look at me," She demanded as loudly as she could with her blown larynx. Tawny finally raised her head and sniffed half a dozen times in rapid succession. "Tawny, you have to promise me…"

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR C

MED WARD

Outside of Katya's room and down the hall the older Dr. Xao was bracing himself. He had told his daughter that now was not the time to mourn, but he was finding it nearly impossible to adhere to his own instruction. His history with Katya and the three others had began at the very start of their young lives. There wasn't another soul living on Alpha Station who had known the four descendants for as long as he had. For him the loss would be a weighty one. He was close with each of them and he counted the two decades that their lives spanned as the most significant of his career.

The bots were gone. The era of war had ended taking with it four strange children who had been created in the most desperate of times in an attempt to find a substitute means of salvation. Their births had been marked a mistake and later an embarrassment and yet they had all now given their lives serving the very purpose they'd supposedly already failed.

Xao had told his daughter that they had a duty to perform. They were physicians. Their time to grieve would come later as it always did, behind closed doors during rare and brief reprieves. It was time to alert Katya's parents of her fate.

The old man watched the two distressed couples as they hovered close to Katya's room in disquieted anticipation. He started to grind his teeth. He had done this many times before; given the parents of soldiers news of an untimely loss or grim a prognosis. To give a parent such news was to ruin them heart and soul forever. As a father he knew this. It never became any easier and this time would be one of the hardest.

As Dr. Xao came upon the solemn foursome he was surprised to see Sam Anders walking toward them from the other end of the hall. Anders reached them just before he could.

"Ellen," Sam called gaining her attentions and in-so the attentions of her worried companions.

"Sam," She answered.

The two embraced. Sam held on to Ellen as she wrapped her arms around his waist. He was out of breath having sprinted the whole way to the clinic. As soon as Sam heard Helo's words he'd taken off running. He didn't know what else to do so he'd turned and bolted. He ran past the marine guards, never noticing if they'd even followed him. He ran past fallen soldiers in the halls and past the medical transpo-cart that was on its way to collect Blaze and Alexi. Sam just ran. Now in Ellen's arms there was nowhere else to run to.

Saul spitefully walked a few steps away from them. He joined Bill where he stood supporting Laura as she leaned against the wall, still lethargic and dizzy from giving so much blood.

Xao went unnoticed, hovering a few steps back in the other direction.

They all watched Ellen and Sam as they stood joined in the hallway.

"How is she?" Sam asked.

"We're still waiting," She informed before letting go and taking a step back.

"Was she shot?"

Ellen shook her head.

"She was in an accident. She was hiding in an arms locker. The impact of the bombs hitting the station, it was enough to knock over an unsteady stack of ammunition crates. She was hit."

Same cringed at the explanation.

"Frak."

"She made it through laser surgery. We're waiting for her to wake up."

Sam nodded, thankful to hear the encouraging news.

"The boys…" He started after a moment, but then paused to blow a long breath through his lips. His heart was still pounding and it wasn't just because of his running. Helo's still voice range in his ears. "They're still there. Helo and Athena...they're with them."

Ellen grimaced and shook her head. It was so surreal. She rubbed furiously at her eyes before looking back up at him. Suddenly it occurred to her that he might not know about his own daughter's sacrifice.

"Oh, Sam. I'm…I'm so sorry…Margot…"

"I know," He stopped her as he looked to his feet. "Helo told me. I- I know that she's dead."

The words felt like a knife through Ellen's heart and even so she felt the need to offer her condolences to the girl's birthfather.

"Sam, I'm so…"

"Don't, Ellen," Saul quickly growled from where he stood. He wouldn't for a moment entertain the thought of Sam as Margot's family, blood or not. Sam had his chance to love and appreciate Margot and he'd thrown it away as far as Saul was concerned. "DON'T! He doesn't deserve to mourn that girl. He was nothing to her. He couldn't be bothered with her while she was alive! He doesn't frakking need to be consoled over her death."

"Saul, he's still her…"

"He's right, Ellen," Sam interrupted her defense. "Saul is right. I don't deserve your condolences. In fact you have mine for what little it's worth. For all three of em'…Ellen, I'm so sorry. I know how much you loved them. I'm so sorry for what I said before…about you two playing house with these kids." Sam flinched at the harsh memory of his own anger. "You and Saul were their family and I respect that. I admire it. I know that it doesn't mean much coming from me right now, but..." He faltered, "But if you could just for a moment try and think of me as the man you once knew so long ago, in another life, another world…the man you called your friend…well then maybe you could accept my thanks and my appreciation for how you loved Margot when I couldn't."

Saul looked away from Sam with disdain, but Ellen squeezed his hand and gave him an obliging nod. Sam knew that Saul might never speak to him again, but he was confident that Ellen would one day forgive him.

"Excuse me," Xao finally spoke up.

The group's eyes collectively widened when they saw him.

"Xao, how is she?" Ellen asked first.

"Can we see her?" Laura followed.

Xao paced his breath and focused on his task.

"Colonel and Mrs. Tigh, I'd like to speak to you privately," He requested.

"What?" Saul scowled. "Why? About Kat?"

"Yes," Xao confirmed with a quick nod.

"Well how is she?" Ellen asked again.

"If you'd just step over here we can discuss…"

"No," Saul cut the doctor off. "You have my permission to speak freely. Whatever update you have on Kat, Bill and Laura can hear too. They're just as much her parents," He said with a look back toward the couple.

They each gave him a nod of thanks in return.

Xao's eyes went to Sam Anders who still loitered nearby.

Out of respect, and not wanting to upset Saul any further Sam reluctantly made his way a few yards back down the hall, careful not to go too far out of earshot. He was too anxious to wait for Tawny to fill him in. He had to know how Katya was.

"Well, is she awake?" Saul asked. "Can we see her now?"

"She's awake, Colonel," The doctor confirmed. You may see her but I'm afraid I…" He stopped, losing his nerve for the first time in his career. He had been there the day Katya was born. He had watched her grow. He had known her longer than anyone standing before him. This was going to be harder than he'd imagined. "I need you all to understand the extent of Yekaterina's injuries."

At the grave sound of the doctor's voice Laura felt her stomach sink.

"Does she need more blood?"

She could hardly stand up, but she was ready to do whatever she could. She knew that she'd probably given them all that they would take for the time being, but she didn't care. She had to offer.

"No. No, Ms. Roslin," Xao said. "We were able to stop the bleeding from all injured organs. There were many, but her largest bleeds were from the bladder, uterus, liver and lower intestine. The hemorrhaging was stopped. She was given your transfusions but…"

"Can't you tell us all of this inside?" Ellen stopped him in frustration. "I just want to be with her."

The doctor let out a low sigh trying to decide how to go on.

"Though we were able to stop the bleeding many of Yekaterina's vital organs are failing. Some have already stopped working all together."

Xao bravely watched the array of emotions developing in front of him, even Sam's. The old doctor was far from stupid and he could tell that the man was listening intently from where he stood nearby.

"Oh gods," Ellen gasped.

Xao's face took on a look of pained empathy as he continued.

"Her kidneys and her liver most importantly…they've started to shut down. Though the bleeding was stopped the damage is too extensive and the vital organs are dying."

"So she needs a transplant," Bill guessed. "Kidney and liver transplants," He said again as if he were formulating a plan of action. "You repaired her injuries with a godsdamn laser. A transplant can't be that hard. She would just need a donor," He surmised.

Ellen started to nervously pace back and forth within the narrow width of the hallway.

"No she needs Laura," Saul corrected. "Katya's body couldn't accept anyone else's blood let alone an organ," He reminded them.

"Whatever she needs," Laura instantly offered. Her skin was pale and her body was still weak, but she was halfway ready to tear a kidney out herself if it was what Katya required to get better. "I'm ready. Take whatever she needs."

Dr. Xao pressed his lips together and shook his head. He knew that the people before him were doing their best to avoid hearing what he was saying.

"You must understand that due to the extent of these injuries the organ failure is happening at quite a rapid pace. The kidney function has almost stopped. The entire system of connected organs is slowing down."

"Well, then let's get her a frakking kidney," Laura reiterated.

"Ms. Roslin," Xao started, giving her his focus, "It's not just the kidneys and liver. There is significant damage to her spleen and pancreas as well. I suspect they will also falter shortly. Those aren't organs that I could just take from you. You wouldn't survive without them."

Laura's eyes doubled in size.

"You think I give a frak?" She said sharply. "You're telling me that she needs them. She can only get them from me. So take them," She nearly demanded causing Bill's brow to rise in alarm. "I've lived one life already. She's just starting hers. I'll do whatever she needs."

Ellen stopped pacing as panic started to rise within her. What the hell was happening? How could this be?

"I'm a doctor, madam," Xao told Laura. "Even if I thought it would help Yekaterina in time I couldn't take your life."

Ellen's hands went to her hips. Denial had quickly inspired a sudden resolve to take hold. Her panic was temporarily subdued by determination. She had an idea.

"We can clone her organs," She insisted. "Grow them in the bio-lab. It's done all the time. The transplant success rate is far better than donor tissue anyway. Honestly, I'd rather do that," She said with forced practicality. "Katya can start off brand new with her own healthy tissue."

"Mrs. Tigh, please listen to me," The doctor said sternly. "There is no time for something like that. The procuring of cloned organs takes weeks if not months. Even if Ms. Roslin could donate what was needed immediately Yekaterina's body could not withstand an open surgical procedure. As her organ systems fail it's putting more and more strain on her heart."

"Xao, what the frak are you saying?" Saul's voice stormed.

The doctor opened his mouth to speak but never got a word out.

"She's dying," Came Sam's remark from behind them like a blunt knife to the back.

All eyes went to where he stood. He had inched closer to the group and was now standing only a few paces away.
Everyone was silent, but after a beat Ellen actually laughed and gave Sam a sardonic snort.

"No she's not. She's awake," She balked. "Kat made it through the operation. I was there with her the whole time. She's not dying, Sam," Ellen told him with contrived confidence.
She looked back to Xao, but the doctor was mute and stone-faced.

"She's dying, Ellen," Sam boldy repeated.

They were all looking at him like a herd of frightened deer. Sam didn't want to be right but he knew that he was. No one was coming out and saying it so he did.

Finally Bill's attentions shot back to Dr. Xao.

"Is that what you came out here to tell us?" He growled through gritted teeth. "Is it? Is my daughter dying in there while you have us out here playing guessing games and talking about cutting into my wife for spare parts?! Is that it!?"

Laura stood stunned beside him mouth agape.

The doctor looked to the floor before raising his head with a somber sigh.

"I'm sorry. This is very difficult for me to say. I was there the day Yekaterina was born. It brings me great sadness to be here the day she will die. My daughter and I have done everything in our power."

While it was still sinking in for the others Ellen was refusing to even consider what the doctor had just told them as fact.

"No. No, this is crazy," She insisted, manically shaking her head. "Xao, you can do something until we figure things out. Life support or something. She's awake for frak sake. You just said that she's awake," She continued to rationalize.

Xao frowned. He'd seen many reactions to such news in his time. Denial was not unusual. Debating with someone who was struggling with acceptance was never helpful.

"She is asking for all of you," He informed them. "Tawny has spoken to her. Yekaterina understands what is happening. She wants all of you with her. As a parent myself and... as someone who has known Katya her entire life, before she ever took a breath…well, you have my sympathies, but what you do not have is the luxury of time. Please go be with her now," He said solemnly.

Bill held on to Laura as she stood mute and gawking by his side. Her eyes were large and stunned as if she'd just been struck by lightning. He called her name a few times but it didn't seem to register.

"Dying," Saul echoed.

Xao looked the Colonel in the eye and nodded. With that he left them and walked back down the hall to immerse himself in the care of another patient. He'd meant what he told his daughter; their mourning would come later.

"Saul, he's crazy," Ellen wildly persisted. "She's not. She isn't. I mean…" She trailed off as she looked around at the others. They all looked as if they believed the doctor. How could they believe such a thing? She saw the horrified look on Laura's face. "He's being dramatic, Laura. Laura? It's going to be okay. Don't listen to him. She's not. It's going to be okay...Laura?" Ellen couldn't tell if the other woman had even heard her. Laura looked paralyzed and petrified. When Ellen got no response she huffed in frustration and shook her head. "Would you all stop acting like…"

"Ellen," Saul said, gently reaching for her.

His hands shook as he grabbed hold of his wife's rigid wrists.

"She's not," Ellen said, her voice starting to give in and crack. "No, Saul, no she's…"

"Ellen. We- we have to go in there. We need to see her before…"

"Saul, no! She isn't! She is NOT!"

The shrill sounds of Ellen's voice filled the hall, but for once in their lives Saul didn't shout back at her. He firmly squeezed her wrists and grimly nodded in the affirmative.

In an instant Ellen's face crumpled. The whites of her eyes went red with rage and when she dropped to her knees with her wrists still bound within her husband's trembling hands she let out a blood curdling scream.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR C

MED WARD; ICU ROOM1

Only minutes before her parents were given her prognosis Katya had asked Tawny for another blanket. As she lay there hastily reciting every detailed request that she wanted her friend to carry out her teeth had started to chatter.

"I'm cold."

Tawny immediately turned while wiping some tears from her cheeks. Though she wanted to spend all the time with Katya that she could it was almost a relief to look away from her for a moment. She took a few collective breaths and then pulled a blanket from the nearby warmer. She carefully spread it over Katya's legs knowing that it would be one of the last measures of comfort that she would be able to give her.

"That better?"

Katya didn't answer but Tawny watched as her shivers momentarily ceased.

"You have to make sure, Tawny," Katya repeated for not the first or even fifteenth time over the last twenty minutes.

"I will, Kat," Tawny reassured patiently.

"I can't…I can't tell them now," Katya stammered, her speech pained and stilted. "I can't explain it all. You need to tell them everything."

Tawny nodded again and again, every bob of her head a vow that she would carry out her friend's wishes.

"I will, Kat. I will. I promise you."

"All four of them have to agree," Katya reaffirmed. "Pozahluysta, Tawny."

She was repeating herself and she knew it. They had gone over all of it already, but it was the last thing that Katya needed to accomplish and she could already feel herself starting to weaken. Her thinking was slowing down. She couldn't even keep her languages straight.

Katya had never realized before how fluidly she'd always thought in one language yet predominantly spoken in another until she couldn't do it anymore without trying. She bitterly mused to herself that to become so self aware moments from death seemed so useless.

"I know Ellen," Katya went on. "And this…this is going to kill her, but…it can't. She can't let it. I need her. I need her to be everything she was to me to my children. Saul too…And I need you to let Bill and Laura know that I want the same of them if they'll agree. You have to make them understand, Tawn. Please? It's too big of a burden to put on the Tighs alone. The four of them…they can do it together. I don't want my children to be like me and Lex. They need to have parents; a steady stable family from the start. That's what I want."

Tawny continued to affirm her promises. She pushed some of Katya's loose hair back from her face and smoothed the warm blanket over her body.
"I'll do my best, Kat, but listen to me; no matter what happens I will always protect your kids. Until the day I die. I'll make sure that they have the best care, that they are healthy and happy, even if I have to do it myself. I promise you."

Katya struggled to give her a nod of thanks. She was fortunate to have Tawny's selfless promise, but she knew that she wouldn't rest in peace unless her children were with her parents.

"Tawn…the will that me and Lex drew up specifically grants you access to our station accounts, our credits...all—all the…" Katya cringned and struggled to take in more air.

"Take it easy, sweetie. It's okay."

"All the data on our network profiles," She struggled on. "The storage on our cuffs, everything the government won't disable after I'm gone. I want you to turn it all over to Saul and Ellen and make sure that Bill and Laura have password access to the saved data as well. I've been keeping a journal for the last f-four months or so." Katya tried to clear her throat, but her vocal cords were so damaged that it did little to help her volume. "It will explain things to them…things you can't explain...things...things you shouldn't have to."

Katya coughed and though it set her broken ribs aflame she couldn't react but to flinch in pain.

Tawny nodded and licked some salty tears from the corners of her lips.

"I'll make sure, Kat. I will."

Katya had to believe her. With her requests heard she wasn't sure what to do with herself. For only a moment she thought of the injustice of it all before forcing herself to shut it out. She couldn't think of leaving her family. She couldn't wallow over never seeing her children grow. She forced it all away. She'd been so angry for so much of her life. She wasn't going to waste her last moments in indignation.

"Kholodno," She said as she began to shiver again."I, I mean I'm fr-freezing."

Tawny felt her heart sink even lower. Katya's circulation was faltering along with her nervous system.

"I know. I'm sorry. I'll get you some more blankets," She offered, but she knew that at this point they probably wouldn't help. She saw the signs of life quickly dwindling before her eyes. Now that she'd assured Katya that she would carry out her wishes she had to make sure that she said everything she wanted to say before it was too late.

"Kat…about, uh...about Anders…" She stammered, her sense of guilt over the strange dyad fueling her clumsy speech. "Kat, I don't understand your connection to him. I won't pretend that I do…but if I hurt you in any way…"

"Nyet, sestra," Katya cut her off with a sudden bemused smirk. "He wasn't mine to have. Not this time."

Tawny was taken off guard by the peculiar comment and impish look that her suffering friend was able to muster.

"He trusts you," Katya's raspy straining voice continued. "If you choose him then choose only him. He deserves to know what that feels like. Care for him as long as he's here."

"I will…" Tawny vowed with fresh tears rolling down her cheeks. "I do…"

Katya nodded and then winced as her next breath caused her ribs to sharply flare.

"You're in pain," Tawny cringed. "I'll give you something more…"

"No."

Katya shook her head before Tawny could even finish the offer.

"No. I want to be able to talk to everyone…Please don't give me anything that's going to stop me from saying what I need to," She pleaded. The pain was fading anyway, dulling like everything else. Katya knew that she wouldn't be feeling it for much longer. "I need my parents, Tawny…Do you think they know yet?"

Tawny didn't have the chance to reply. It was then that they heard the piercing scream coming from the hallway.

It was Ellen.

Katya had her answer.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR C

MED WARD

Outside of their daughter's room Bill was desperately trying to get Laura to focus. She was rapidly sinking into herself, becoming nearly catatonic.

"Laura. Laura, look at me. We should go in now."

She was despondent, almost looking through him.

"Laura," He said firmly, finally getting her eyes to lock with his. "We need to get in there to…"

"To what?" She gritted bitterly. "To watch my baby die?"

Bill swallowed hard.

"Yes," Was his raw answer. "To be with her. To take in every second of her that's left."

He had done this before; lost a child and died a little inside along with him, but he never had to watch the woman he loved go through it too. Somehow he already knew that it would make it so much worse.

"Why is this happening?" Laura asked in a seething whisper.

Bill didn't answer. If there was one thing that he had no explanation for in all his many years it was why some parents had to outlive their children. There was nothing more unjust.

He tugged on her arm in the direction of the door. They had to hurry.

"It's time to go, Laura."

They trailed Saul as he ushered Ellen toward the entrance.

Ellen felt like she was in the middle of a waking nightmare. She wanted to keep screaming. She wanted to tear apart the walls. She wanted to set fire to everything around her so that her surroundings matched the way she felt inside. Her heart was turning to ashes and crumbling and she just wanted to take the world down with it. She wanted to crush the cursed notion of destiny under her shoe. She wanted to cry and she wanted to yell. Most of all she wanted to let herself sink into a puddle of despair, but when she saw Katya quietly waiting for her in bed the very first instinct Ellen had was to smile. She greeted her daughter with a wide loving grin; a mask of false hope and comfort. She was so pleased when Katya actually smiled back. Suddenly Xao seemed totally wrong again. Katya was there, living and breathing. She was tired and hurt, but she was right there smiling back, as beautiful as ever. How could anyone believe that she was dying?

Ellen hardly felt her feet bringing her to the right side of Katya's bed. She only became aware of her movements again when she finally clasped the girl's hand between her palms.

"Hey, kitten," Ellen greeted as she bent down to kiss her daughter's forehead. "You did so good. I told you that you could do it," She praised with a feigned look of joy.

Katya knew just what Ellen was doing. She'd heard her screams piercing through the walls only minutes before.

"Aunt Ellen…" Katya started but Ellen just kept going.

"You're going to be okay, baby," She insisted. Her eyes had watered, but she kept smiling as she brought Katya's knuckles to her lips and kissed at her fingers. "You just hold on tight. You're okay."

Katya let her smile fade and looked Ellen deep in her eyes. If Ellen couldn't see what was happening then Katya had to make her feel it. There was no time left for pretending.

"Aunt Ellen," Katya said more sternly, urging the woman to read her.

She knew that once they connected Ellen wouldn't be able to help but sense it. She had to stop her manic denial. Katya stared her firmly in the eyes. She unblinkingly bore into Ellen's watery gaze until her faux smile faded and her tears spilled.

"You're gunna be okay," Ellen pitifully repeated in a strained and weak voice.

Katya slowly shook her head in response. She could sense Ellen finally linking to her, reading her, sensing her pain.
In that moment Ellen didn't need Xao or Tawny or anyone else to tell her that her daughter was dying. She finally felt it.

"Oh gods, I…I…"

Ellen suddenly released Katya's hand as if she were too frightened to hold it any longer. She turned to Saul and grabbed on to him. She began bawling into his chest. Over Ellen's shoulder Saul gave Katya a painful look of sorrow and regret.

Bill kept his hand at Laura's back and guided her forward. Tawny backed up to the utility counter, offering them some space beside the bed. With Bill's help Laura stiffly walked toward their daughter's left side. When they were only a few inches from her bed Laura froze in place. She wouldn't budge any further.
Noticing their arrival, Katya looked toward her birth parents. If Ellen couldn't face her then she hoped that Laura could. When she was finally able to focus on her mother she found that Laura's eyes were fixed in stunned horror with Bill standing concernedly grim behind her; hardly a comforting sight.

Katya looked around the room for Tawny and found the doctor in the far corner consoling Sam. She hadn't noticed that he'd followed her parents into the room. He and Tawny were braced against each other in shared devastation. Katya let out a frustrated sigh. She wasn't sure what she'd expected but no one seemed capable of speaking to her. They could hardly even look at her. She felt almost embarrassed to be in her current state; broken and defeated. She felt guilty to be the cause of Ellen's sorrow, of Laura's muted anguish and of Saul's and Bill's heartache.

Katya rested her eyes and cautiously inhaled. Her breaths were becoming shorter. She was able to take a little less air into her lungs each time. She'd told Tawny about the increasing struggle for oxygen before her parents entered. The physician only nodded and promised that when the time came it wouldn't hurt.

Katya kept her eyes closed. No one was speaking to her anyway. It was so much easier just to let her heavy lids fall shut. Tawny promised that she would speak for her later. At least they were all close by. At least she wasn't alone.

Bill scanned the room. Tawny and Sam were huddled together as were Saul and Ellen. Laura stood unmoving and petrified. All around him was the harrowing site of heartbreak. As he looked back at his daughter he watched her awaiting her fate, her eyes lightly closed hooding their familial sapphire hue. He felt guilt start to rush over him. Katya had asked for their company. These were her last moments and no one could even bring themselves to interact with her. He had to do something. It wasn't fair. They would all have time to mourn her once she was truly passed on. They couldn't start right in front of her as if she were already gone.

Bill hadn't gotten the chance to be by Zak's side when he took his last breath. He hadn't been able to say goodbye to his son. It seemed like some cruel cosmic joke to outlive yet another one of his kids in yet another life. At least this time Bill knew that his child wouldn't go into the darkness alone. This time he understood that life was not the end of existence. Though he would be there to say goodbye to his daughter's life he was confident that he had yet to see the last of her soul. His solitary fortune was that he had the chance to bid her present form farewell. There was only one problem; Bill wasn't sure how to start. What would his last words be to a young woman who he was just beginning to know?

Bill was still so bewildered over just who Katya was. Sometimes he felt as if he understood. Sometimes he felt as if he knew exactly who she was; that their paths were simply crossing once again in a new life, in a new way. Other times he was still so confused. Sam's rare taunting clues only served to infuriate him. There was only one thing that Bill knew for certain which was wholly undeniable; no matter who she was, in this life or any other, she was his daughter.

"Hey," He called softly, his voice surprising even him. When Katya opened her eyes to look at him he gave her a small warm smirk. "What'dya here?"
Katya's lips curved into a grateful grin as wide as her weakened state would allow.

"Nothing but the rain," She answered without hesitation.

"Then grab your gun and bring in the cat."

Katya didn't have the strength to salute so she winked.

"Aye, aye."

Bill's eyes welled. He leaned past Laura who stood ever motionless and put his palm over his daughter's forearm.

"You're a special girl, Kat," He told her with firm but tender honestly. "I love you and I'm proud of you…I always have been. Always," He repeated. Bill brought his hand to her face and thumbed gently at her cheek, hoping to commit the feeling of her skin to memory. "Do you understand that?" He asked her plainly.

He choked back his tears as he waited for her response.

Katya nodded. She understood, in some way.

"Yes, Sir."

Bill was sure that his message to Katya had gone right over Ellen's head and he had no idea if Laura could even hear a thing that he'd just said. He knew that it wouldn't have meant anything to them anyway, but he hoped that Saul and Sam had witnessed Katya's reply. It wasn't much of an explanation, but it was all that they were going to get. Bill decided that at least for him it was enough. He hoped the other men would feel the same way.

Bill's heart clenched when Katya's eyes became heavy and she closed them once again. The pain was so familiar and so unfair yet he felt strangely contented with his last words to his daughter. He just wished that the others would take advantage of the precious time. They didn't yet understand the way he did, how much they would regret it if they didn't.

Bill looked up at Saul gaining his attention. He nodded toward the bed and gave him a look of compelling urgency. If Laura was paralyzed in misery and Ellen was too distressed to speak then Saul needed to pull himself together and say goodbye to their child.

Saul clenched his teeth and gave Bill a nod in return.

He had just watched on as the Old Man painfully pulled himself together with all of his strength and fatherly love in order to say goodbye to Katya. Saul knew that he had to follow suit no matter how much it hurt.

With a deep sigh he gently pulled away from his weeping wife to get to his daughter's side.

"Kit...Kit?" Saul started. He did nothing to hold back his one-sided tears.

He couldn't hold it together like Bill had. He wasn't strong enough. He looked at his daughter on her deathbed and his heartstrings twisted in despair. She was his princess, she was Ellen's kitten, their beautiful little flying ballerina and they were about to lose her.

Though Saul had known Katya most of her life the recent cloud of mystery that surrounded her had muddled his perception of who she truly was. He resented Sam for understanding, for being so resolute in his belief. He was envious of Bill for being able to look past it all and refusing to let the enigma of her ethereal identity eat him alive. Saul felt guilty. He should have known her better than anyone and yet there were just some things that he didn't understand about Katya. He finally realized that in this life, at least, he never would. Maybe it would all come to him in another time and place. Maybe one day he would see all of her and know her every truth.

There was one thing that was certain for Saul without a doubt in his mind; Katya was his child. She and Ellen had made up his beloved little family for years and now it was falling apart.

"Kit, I'm sorry," He cried.

Katya raised a sleepy brow.

"Sorry? For what?"

Saul gave a pathetic shrug.

"This."

"Nyet, Dyzadyza," She replied. "Eto ne tvoya vina." When Katya saw the confused look on Saul's face she winced realizing she'd misspoken. It was getting harder to keep her linguistics straight. "I mean this isn't your fault," She translated.

"Then I'm sorry for anything I ever did to hurt you," He began to ramble. "Anything I didn't do that I should have. I tried. All these years, I did. I tried," He cried through the ineloquent divulgences.

He didn't know what to say so he was saying anything that came to mind.

"I know, Uncle Saul. Don't be sorry."

Katya paused and tried to take some extra air into her lungs. It wasn't working. It was maddening not being able to take a satisfying breath.

"Wasn't easy," She told him through some short halted coughs. "I wasn't easy. You loved me anyway."

She had so much that she wished that she could share with him, but their time was running low. Though Tawny would explain her secrets when she was gone, Katya had to make sure that she at least left him with something from her own lips.

"My life before you…" She paused to take another precious breath. "When I was very little…I…I didn't know what it was to feel safe…until I became your daughter...Did you know that?" She asked tilting her head to the side.

Saul bit down hard on the inside of his cheek and nodded.

"I just wana save you now," He said as his voice cracked and more tears flowed; more than anyone would expect from just a single eye.

Saul's words had inspired Sam to make it to the foot of the bed with Tawny by his side. He had to at least try and say something to her. If her parents kicked him out at least she would hear his voice once more before she passed.

"Kar…Kat," He stammered for the last time. He was so relieved when she glanced up at him and smirked slyly at his slip up. When no one cast him out he continued. "I'm sorry for the way that things were this time. I didn't understand at first," He said with a sniff.

"It's alright, Sam. Neither did I. I still don't. Not all of it."

He nodded and swiped away some tears.

It was as if they kept meeting only to come apart again, but Sam still held hope in his heart.

"We'll be together again someday…somehow. I know it," He told her.

She chuckled under her breath and smiled at him.

"See you on the other side," She told him once again.

Sam's shoulders slumped as he quietly broke down. He returned to his corner leaving Tawny at the foot of the bed. Katya looked at her and sighed. She swallowed and her throat felt like fire.

"Tawny, dightyeh puzahlustuh vadyh?"

Tawny squinted, trying hard to remember her E-Fed lessons.

"Water?"

Katya nodded and closed her eyes against the pain.

Tawny went to the counter to fill a glass and grab a straw.

"Why's she doing that?" Bill asked aloud. "I can't understand her."

Saul looked across the bed at him.

"She used to do that as a kid sometimes. When she was overtired she'd slip between languages. Sometimes I'd tuck her in when she could hardly keep her eyes open. I'd say goodnight and she'd answer me, but I wouldn't know what the frak she was saying," Saul recalled.

Tawny passed a still motionless Laura and came up beside Bill with Katya's cup of water. The last water she would ever drink.

"It's her blood oxygen level," The doctor explained in a low voice. "It's dropping and it's affecting her brain function."

She leaned over to give Katya a sip from the straw as Saul and Bill's eyes met in dread.

Katya took a few small sips and then cleared her throat.

"Please don't talk about me as if I'm not here," She told them in her weak and quaking voice.

Tawny frowned and pushed back some of Katya's hair that had fallen loose from the elastic.

"I'm sorry, Kat," She told her.
She was going to miss her so very much.

Katya knew by the look on Tawny's face that she was running on borrowed time.

"I'm scared to die," She impulsively confessed.

The raw admission from her dearest friend immediately sent Tawny to pieces. She lost all composure, unable to offer any more comfort.

Laura's wide eyes filled with tears as Katya's fearful remark echoed in her ears. The penetrating words had been enough to finally jolt her out of her stupor. When the young doctor stumbled over to the wall and sunk down to the floor in a mess of quiet wracking sobs Laura quickly took her place by Katya's side.
She grabbed hold of her daughter's hand and clasped it between both of her palms. She had been so overcome with grief and so consumed by anger that she could hardly function. It was what she always did when confronted with loss. She shut down. This time her child's expression of fear served to snap her out of it and into maternal action.

Katya's eyes had closed again. It was getting harder for her to fight the desperate exhaustion that consumed her body.

"Sweetheart," Laura started. "Sweetheart, please look at me," She begged.

Katya was surprised but grateful to hear her birthmother's voice. When she opened her eyes and looked up at Laura she allowed herself to let tears fill her eyes for the first time since her parents had come into the room.

"I know that you're scared," Laura told her, "I know what this feels like. I know," She said with aching empathy, reminding Katya that she had truly been in her position before.

Laura wanted to take her fear away; she wanted to take her pain. Gods, she wished she could just die for her, but she couldn't. All she could do was make sure that she knew that she shouldn't fear what was coming.

"I know this feeling well, Katya, but I want you to know that you have nothing to be afraid of. Nothing. Do you hear me, Kat?" Laura asked as she forced her lips into a tear tainted smile. "It's going to be so peaceful and so wonderful. You couldn't possibly imagine the joy you will find where you're going," She went on with more passion. Katya stared back at her, tears slowly dropping one by one. She blinked and when her eyes didn't open right away Laura cringed with dread. Her own tears began to flow harder but she kept talking. "It's so peaceful, so peaceful. It's still hard for me to remember all of it, but I remember that part. I do, Kat. You have to trust me. There's no more pain, no more suffering. Your sadness is gone. Mysteries become clear. Those who you've loved and lost will be there. You'll see Alexi again. You'll be together," She assured her. "My gods, sweetheart, so many people are waiting for you. Some you've never even met. They're all going to love you so much."

Laura silently prayed that her mother would be there to greet her granddaughter and that Lee would be there to welcome his little sister.

"It's an existence so much better than this one," Laura said as she squeezed Katya's hand even harder. "So much better. So I don't want you to be scared, Kat. Trust me, sweetheart. You have to trust me. Don't be afraid."

Xao might as well have cut into Laura for parts because she felt like her heart was slowly being extracted from her chest with every long blink that Katya took. Her child was dying. A life that had started inside of her very own body was now ending in front of her very own eyes. It was the sick and cruel curse of fate that followed her. When Laura loved she lost.

"Please keep your eyes open, Katya" She desperately whispered.

Every time that Katya closed them Laura panicked wondering if she had just seen their ultra-blue hue for the last time. It was getting close. She could feel it. She was running out of time. She still had so much that she wished that she could say, but she knew there was only one thing left to tell her daughter that really mattered. It would be the first and only time and she hated herself for it. She had been so afraid to say it out loud. So much had stopped her; fear of rejection, fear of acceptance, fear of the depths of her own damned heart, but what had stopped her most of all was this. The fear of what she loved being taken from her as soon as she admitted her feelings. Now after all of her careful guarding she had lost anyway. She should have known.

Laura's breath was trapped within the impossible tightness of her throat. It was so hard to fight through it and she knew that she had to hurry. She'd wasted so much time. Suddenly she could feel Ellen's eyes on her from the other side of the bed. She glanced up to look at her.

"Damn it, Laura, tell her," Ellen harshly whispered.

Laura whimpered in response. Somehow Ellen knew. She could read her, she could sense it.

Laura felt Bill's hand come up and rest on her back between her shoulder blades in support. She winced and then looked back at Ellen.

"Tell her, damn it," Ellen urged again. "Now, Laura," She emphatically mouthed without a sound.

With Ellen's final encouragement and Bill's hand at her shoulder Laura looked back down at her daughter.

"Katya…sweetheart? Look at me," Laura instructed, trying to gain Katya's fading focus. "Look at me, please?" She nearly begged. Finally Katya's eyes fluttered open. "That's good. That's better," She told her as she gently stroked back her hairline over and over. "I need you to know something, Kat. Can you hear me?"

Katya gave a weak hum and Laura felt her bottom lip began to quiver as she tried to speak. Her heart felt like it was in a vice. She had felt grief before. She had felt so much loss in her past, but nothing like this. Nothing close. This was inhumane. This was torturous. To bring forth a life into the world only to watch it die was truly implacable. Laura had one chance to say what she needed to say, to say what she'd been foolishly holding inside.

"Katya…I…I need you to know that you have been the light for me in this life. You've been my…my reason for existing, my reason for being and…and…I…I...gods, I love you, Katya. More than you could ever know. I love you. I love you so much."

The words came out like a flood through a crumbling dam and so did Laura's tears. Before she knew it she found herself hunched over the bedside fiercely weeping into Katya's left shoulder and breathily chanting the words over and over again as if she could make up for every lost chance.

"I love you. I do. I love you so much it hurts. I love you, sweetheart. You're my baby and I love you. I always will. I'm so sorry. Gods, I love you," Laura bawled until her voice gave out.

She wept and shook for a few aching moments as Bill woefully watched over the beautifully tragic confession.

"Bout time," Came their daughter's soft and throaty quip.

The hauntingly familiar jesting words made Laura sob even harder as she clung desperately to her child's failing body.

"I've loved you all my life, momochka," Katya said, not much louder than a whisper.

Laura had to press her mouth against Katya's shoulder to stop herself from wildly screaming through her tears.

After a few long moments Katya's body seemed to suddenly tense.

"Ya ustala," She groaned before she relaxed again into the pillows.
Laura picked her head up keeping her elbows on the bed and her fist grip tightly around Katya's left hand.

"Wa-what?"

"Tawny, what did she say?" Bill asked, looking over to where the doctor sat on the floor next to Sam with her back against the wall.

"Uh…" Tawny sniffed and staggered to her feet. "I dunno, uh, let me think…ustala…I think is…tired. Tired. She said she's tired," The young woman decided.
Tawny knew the time was nearing. They had the volume on the monitors turned off, but she didn't need their warning sounds. She was sure. She left Sam sitting on the floor and walked toward the head of the bed to check the screens. With a heavy heart she looked to the Tighs and nodded before stepping back toward the utility counter to let herself break down once again.

Ellen felt Saul internally urging her just as she'd done with Laura moments before. This was it, she told herself. There was no denying it anymore and it wasn't remotely fair. Ellen's life, as long as it had been and with all of her many responsibilities, had become centered around one thing. For the last fifteen years her heart had been dedicated to Katya. Now her life was about to be turned inside out. Her heart was about to shatter into a million irreparable pieces. The loss of the other three had left it deeply cracked and now she could feel it starting to fall apart.

"Baby?" She said taking Katya's right hand to her lips.

She savored the precious warmth of the girl's skin against her face.

"Hm?" Katya answered, her eyes hooded.

"Do you know that you're my greatest blessing?"

Katya gave Ellen a small but true smile.

"You are, baby and I love you so very, very much," Ellen cried.

Katya wanted so badly to reach Ellen's cheek and wipe away her tears, but she didn't have the strength.

"I wished for you and you came true," She told her just as she often had as a child.

"I wished for you and you came true too," Ellen replied, picturing the innocent face of the sweet little girl she'd come to love years ago. Fresh hot tears rolled down her cheeks and her lips quivered as she tried to keep talking, "Do you remember that little rhyme we used to say at bedtime, kitten?" She shakily asked. "Not of my flesh nor of my bone…"

"But still miraculously my own," Katya weakly finished.

"Thats right, baby."

Katya gulped, desperately hoping that she would get enough air to keep talking.

"You didn't give me life," She started, "But life gave me you."

Ellen nodded and leaned in to kiss her daughter's cheek.

"I love you, baby," She whispered. "Forever."

Katya's eyes suddenly squeezed closed.

"What is it, kitten?" Ellen leaned back from the bed and felt all of the blood rush out of her face when she saw Katya's expression. "Are you in pain?"

"No," Katya answered in a small far away voice. Her body had become comfortably numb. There was no more physical pain. All that she felt was profound exhaustion and an abysmal sadness. "Prosti izvenitche…I love you. I don't want to leave you."

Ellen's grip on Katya's right hand tightened as Laura did the same on the left.

"Stay with me, baby," She urged her as if it was completely possible. "Stay."

"Yeh tebya lyublu...but I'm so tired."

"Hang on, kitten, please?" Ellen begged.

Katya took a shallow but hard breath.

"I've been lying to you," She said with the minimal air she'd taken in.

Ellen ran a gentle finger down her daughter's ashen cheek tracing the trail of a fallen tear.

"Don't worry about that, kit," She assured her, trying to ease whatever lingering guilt the dying young woman seemed to have.

Katya attempted to shake her head again. Despite her efforts it hardly moved. She felt trapped in her now useless body.

"No. You don't understand," She said followed by another harsh gasp for air. "I've been lying…to all of you. I'm too tired. I can't explain," She admitted, trying to hold on to the priceless oxygen in her lungs. "Tawny knows. She'll tell you later. I'm so tired. I'm sorry."

Laura could see that Katya's breathing was starting to falter. She could remember the awful feeling well and she was so furious that her child had to know it too. She could do nothing but comfort her with paltry words.

"It's okay, sweetheart," Laura nearly cooed as if she were talking to an infant. Bill's hand stayed rhythmically rubbing at her back as she spoke. She could hear his low bated cries behind her. "I know you're tired, Kat. It's okay. It's alright. I know you want to sleep. It's okay, sweetheart. Rest now. It'll be okay."

"We're right here with you, kitten," Ellen added through her tears. Saul had his hand on her shoulder and she could feel him shaking in time with his quiet sobs. "We're right here with you. All of us. We love you and we're right here, baby."

Katya closed her eyes. With her remaining strength she did her best to squeeze each woman's hand.

"I'm glad that you're my mother," She whispered softly. "Please…byt' mamochka k mon' sin'o'chek."

For a baited moment they all waited for Katya to correct herself but the translation never came.

"What's that, kit?" Ellen asked but she received no answer. "Baby?"

"Katya?" Saul called.

"Oh, Gods," Laura's voice croaked.

Bill looked over at Tawny who was staring up at the muted screen in misery.

"She's gone," The doctor weakly managed to confirm before using her cuff to turn off the monitor.

She turned away from the devastating site and rushed to Sam's solemn steady side where he stood out of the way.

"No!" Saul bellowed. "No, NO godsdamn it!"

Ellen turned to him and he pulled her into his arms clutching fiercely on to her for dear life.

"Bring her back, Ellen. Please? You can do it," He begged. "Somehow you can resurrect again. I know it. You've figured it out now, twice over. You can do it. Bring her back, please?"

Ellen shook her head through her tears.

"I can't, Saul. You know I can't. Resurrection is gone. You deleted it from my memory yourself. It's gone. She's gone. Damn it, she's gone!"

Saul knew that Ellen was right. They had sworn that they were done with resurrection; cylon, human or otherwise. After Sam and D'Anna were brought back he and Margot made certain that all information relating to the process was totally wiped clean of the cylon network and Ellen's mind. It was erased. It was gone.

"There has to be a way," Saul irrationally wallowed. "She's too young. She's just a kid for frak sake. I'm not ready! The basestar, the hybrid? Something!"

His pitiful pleas suddenly caused Laura to snap from over on the other side of the bed. She pulled herself from Bill's protective embrace and pointed a wild accusatory finger in the Tigh's direction.

"Don't you dare!" She viciously warned. "Don't you frakking dare! Don't you even try it! I swear to the Gods I won't let you take my daughter away from the paradise she's going to! Don't you dare rip her from that, deprive her of that peace! Don't even give it another frakking thought!" She seethed.

"Laura…Laura," Bill said tugging at her over-tensed shoulder. He knew that Saul was just grieving; that the poor man understood what he was asking of Ellen was an impossibility. The Tighs were lamenting out loud and they all needed to let each other do it in their own way.

"Laura, they won't, they won't," Bill promised. "They're…they're…lost…Let them be…just let em' be."

Laura turned to him and her face crumpled.

"Oh Gods, Bill," She collapsed into his arms and nearly roared in despair.

Tawny could hardly stand it. She put her back against the cold wall again and slid herself down.

Sam stood over her.

"Doc," He started, his eyes glossy and red.

"She's gone," Tawny whispered to herself, "She's gone and I couldn't save her."

Before Sam could say anything the door opened and the older Dr. Xao leaned in. He immediately recognized the signs of fresh grief and he silently bowed his head.

"Daddy," Tawny called to him.

His sad eyes went to where she sat on the floor.

"Come," Xao said motioning for them to follow him out of the door. "Both of you. Leave these people alone for now," He instructed.

Sam helped Tawny up and the three of them exited the room leaving Katya's body surrounded by her devastated family.

Outside in the clinic hallway the Xaos embraced for a moment of comfort. Sam stepped back as he watched the father and daughter holding one another tightly.

"I'm sorry, daughter," The old man said. Tawny began to sob in his arms, but he gently pushed her back and shook his head. "Not yet. You still have work to do."

Her father informed her that Blaze and Alexi's bodies had been brought in. They required her examination and official confirmation on a notation of death before being brought to the morgue. Xao asked that Tawny hurry since Blaze's parents were waiting down there to say their final goodbyes. Though she was dreading it she knew that it would be her one chance to bid Blaze and Alexi farewell.

As Xao returned to work on the many other injured soldiers in the ward Sam wandered off to grieve on his own.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR C

MED WARD; CURTAIN 3

Tawny found the bodies behind the designated curtain. The sheets that had covered their faces during transport had already been pulled down by a medic in preparation for the exam. She looked at each of them; handsome, strong, and now void of their once loving and brilliant minds. She wondered what she could possibly enter as an official cause of death. The only word that came to mind was sacrifice so in the end that was what she entered. They each looked so young and peaceful. Tawny hoped that what Laura Roslin had told her daughter was true. Maybe they were headed to a better place. Thinking of Blaze and Alexi reuniting with Margot and Katya was the only image that gave her any comfort.

Getting to work Tawny went over to a specially marked supply drawer. It was locked due to protocol and she had to run her cuff over the security panel to access its contents. Once it opened she reached inside and pulled out the small government owned instrument she needed. She went to Blaze's side first. She lifted his wrist, obligatorily feeling for a pulse that she already knew she wouldn't find. She then turned his cuff until she found the small indentation she needed and inserted her tool. With a low hiss the cuff opened and fell free from its host. She took it and placed it in an empty pocket of her lab coat. She bent down, kissed his forehead and let out a strange string of chuckles and cries as she remembered every goofy silly thing the younger boy had ever done to make her laugh. She silently thanked Blaze for his kindness, his friendship and most of all his selfless courage. With a heavy heart Tawny turned to Alexi. She proceeded to take his wrist and go through the same procedure. When his cuff fell she added it to the pocket where Katya's already sat tucked inside. She kissed his temple and wordlessly promised him all that she had promised his wife for the sake of his children. With that she took his left hand, removed his wedding band from his ring finger and added it to the precious collection in her pockets.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR C

MED WARD; ICU ROOM1

Back in Katya's room Ellen had returned to her bedside.

Saul had pulled a chair close to the foot of the bed and now sat weeping into the blankets by his daughter's lifeless ankles.
Ellen looked at Katya's body. The tension in her face had completely disappeared. She looked beautiful. She looked peaceful. She looked like a pretty porcelain doll. Her baby was gone.

She reached out and put her palm over Katya's chest atop her heart.

Ellen knew that she wouldn't feel it beating, but it was still there deep inside and it was still warm.

She cried into Katya's neck for a few solitary moments before she felt another hand cover hers. When she looked up she saw that it was Laura. Neither woman spoke nor did they keep track of how long they stayed with their hands placed over their daughter's heart. Eventually they both laid down beside her on either side of the bed, encapsulating her body in their joined maternal mourning.

In the hall Tawny found Sam dismally hovering outside of Katya's room.

She went to him and offered her hand. He gratefully took it.

Sam couldn't explain it but Tawny was an instant comfort to him. She had been since the moment they met.

"I'm sorry, Anders. I'm so sorry, about Margot…about Kat…"

He nodded but said nothing so Tawny went on.

"I just…I still don't understand who or what…I mean…I know who Kat is…or was… I know who she was to me. But I just can't wrap my head around what it is you believe. I just can't grasp it. Not really."

"Then stop it, Doc," Sam shrugged. "You know who she was to you. That's all you need to know. That's all that matters. As for me…well…"

"Doctor?" A medic interrupted as he walked up on the sad pair. "I have transpo unit coming for another morgue run. Can I include this room? We really do need the space. We have patients being treated in the halls. The commander came in for a flesh wound and we couldn't even offer him a proper bed."

"No. No, not yet," Tawny answered with a sniff. "Not this one."

"Tawny," Her father interrupted from a few yards away. He paused from entering another patient's curtain and looked toward his daughter. "Tawny, it's time," He told her. "We need to help the living now."

She gave him a reluctant nod before he finally disappeared behind the partition.

Tawny took in a deep breath and blew it out between her lips. Sam gave her a nod of sympathy before she turned to enter the room on her own.

When Tawny stepped into the room she found the Colonel and the Admiral sitting in chairs on either side of the bed. They were both slumped over the blankets that covered Katya's unmoving feet; feet that would never again dance across a theater stage wrapped in satin or press the pedal of a rocket thruster in space. The men were either silent or crying softly enough that Tawny couldn't hear them.

At some point both Laura and Ellen had lain down in the bed on either side of Katya's body. It was as if they were both trying to absorb the last of its warmth.

Tawny shuddered. How was she supposed to convince them all to leave?

"I'm so very sorry," She said breaking the grim silence of the room. "I truly am. To all of you. She was my best friend, the closest I ever came to having a sister…I…I'm just so sorry."

The more she tried to console them the more she felt like she needed to be consoled herself. No one responded and only the Admiral even bothered to looked up at her. In a moment of weakness she almost sprinted to Anders for comfort. She wanted so badly to go and get her father so that he could handle the weight of the awful task but she stopped herself, collected her wavering courage and stayed put. She had a duty and a job to do.

Tawny slowly walked over to Katya's right side where Ellen lay playing with a lock of the girl's onyx hair. One of them had let it loose from its elastic. Its dark shining layers splayed over the pillow and draped her quiescent shoulders.

Tawny cleared her throat attempting to gain Ellen's attention. It took a few tries before the dejected woman slowly sat up on the side of the bed. Once she did Tawny reached into her lab coat pocket, felt around for a moment and pulled out the delicate silver chain.

"I had to take her jewelry off before the operation," She said meekly. "I almost forgot that I still had this," She explained as she dangled the little 'A' charm in front of Ellen's eyes. When Ellen put her quivering palm out Tawny let the necklace drop. "Once her cuff is officially designated inactive I'll be able to release that to you as well, along with Alexi's."

Ellen nodded without a word and looked down at the tiny shining letter in her hand. It was the last gift she and Saul had given their little girl only months ago; a symbol of the place they called home. She knew that Katya hadn't taken it off since. She closed her fist clutching it tightly into her palm until it dug into her skin.

Tawny turned and made her way to the left side of the bed where Laura was still laying.

"Laura?" She called. The poor women looked so broken. She still had silent tears steadily falling from the corners of her eyes as she gripped her daughter's idle side. "Laura? I have something for you too."

Laura didn't want to respond. She wanted everyone to leave her alone so she could hold on to her baby's rapidly cooling body for as long as possible.

Slowly and reluctantly she sat up on the side of the bed to face the doctor.

Tawny reached into her pocket again and felt around until she found what she was looking for.
She extended her palm to show Laura the contents; a set of engraved rings.

"Katya and Alexi redid their will a couple of months ago," She explained. "It was just before the download on Delta Station. I was their witness and they named me executor. Katya asked that these be given to you and the Admiral should anything ever happen to her and Alexi. I remember because she asked that it be added in at the last minute. The counselor had to tack it on as an addendum," Tawny said with a shrug. "We could wait until their official estate distribution like we're supposed to, but there's no need. She wanted you and Admiral Adama to have them. They're yours."

Laura seemed stuck. Her lips were parted yet she didn't speak. Tawny had to manually take the woman's hand and place the bands within her palm before turning around and making her way back to the foot of the bed.

Bill rose from his seat and took Tawny's place by his wife.

"I complimented them once," Laura finally squeaked as she held the silvery bands. "Since then she kept...she kept asking me if you and I were ever going to get a set. I always laughed it off. She wanted to see us wearing rings."

Bill felt his heart tighten within his chest at the sweet notion. Their daughter had only wanted to see some visual representation of her parents' marriage; a comforting symbol of the union she'd come from. It was so innocent and Bill was reminded again of just how young she really was. His stomach churned as he watched Laura roll Alexi's larger ring between her thumb and index finger. The youthful couple hardly had time to start their lives together. They died just as their marriage had begun. Bill was far too familiar with the notion of finding love so close to death. He knew how truly unfair it was.

"We can wear them for her now," He proposed gulping back his tears.

Laura bit her quivering lip and nodded.

Her hands were shaking badly but with only a minor struggle she was able to put Alexi's band on Bill's ring finger.

"The inscription," He remarked as he looked down at his hand. "What is it?"

Laura licked her lips and swallowed hard.

"An ancient text from Earth. She told me it meant 'I'll fly to you...um...on…"

"On wings of love," Tawny finished for her. "I'll fly to you on wings of love."

Blinking back fresh tears Bill nodded at the beautiful little message. He took Katya's band and then slipped it onto Laura's finger.

Upon feeling its perfect fit Laura suddenly collapsed back onto the bed letting out a pitiful whimper. She took Katya's lifeless hand and kissed at the bare spot the ring had left.

Katya had been fascinated with the similarity of their hands. She had looked at them with wonder as proof of their flesh and bone connection, proof of where she had come from. Laura should have known the ring would fit her exactly.

The rising sounds of her sobs made Ellen's start up again too.

At the foot of the bed Tawny winced, hating what she had to do.

"I don't want to rush any of you. I wish I didn't have to…but there are many injured people still coming into the ward. We may need this room soon. And I, well…I want to put her with Alexi and Blaze for a while before they go to…before their remains are…"

"Oh gods, just stop it!" Ellen shouted, halting Tawny's stammering. She didn't want to hear the words. She didn't want to picture their bodies lying all together waiting to be burned to ash. "I can't! I can't hear anymore of this! I can't! I can't go on like this. I really can't...not without her here," She continued to lament. "I don't want to and…and I won't."

"Ellen…" Saul started but suddenly Laura cut him off.

"She's right," She quickly agreed. " Ellen's right. I'm done."

Bill flinched in confusion and shook his head.

"What? What are you frakking talking about, Laura?"

She turned and looked him right in the eyes.

"Bill, I don't need to be here anymore."

"Wait, what!?" Tawny balked.

"I've done what was expected of me in this life," Laura went on. "I've done more. I'm through. Maybe I did come here to help save this race, but all I care about is that I came back to meet my daughter and now she's gone. Once again she and I are on two different planes of existence. Well, I don't want to live without her again," She asserted.

Laura looked to Bill and tilted her head. She knew that he didn't like what she was saying, but she couldn't help the way she felt.

"Maybe we came back to get her, Bill, to bring her to the other side with us. If that's where she is now then that's where I want to be. Not here."

"Laura, no," Bill said shaking his head. "Laura, I know. I understand how you feel. Believe me. Remember, I've felt this before. There is nothing worse than this pain. There is nothing worse than losing a child, but you promised me. You promised you wouldn't abandon this life. You fought so hard to live the last time."

"I agree with em', Bill."
Saul's unexpected remark made Bill's eyes nearly bug out of their sockets.

"What?" He spit. "Not you too?"

Saul gave a defeated shrug.

"We've been here for so long, Ellen and I. We had a mission to do. That mission and these four kids were all that kept us here. The mission is over. Our kids are gone. We're damn tired," Saul said as he broke down again. "We loved Kat so much, Bill. We don't want to be without her," He rationalized. "Without Zak, you still had Lee. They're all gone. We have nothing left keeping us here."

Bill's eyes frantically scanned the three of them.

"You promised Kat, Ellen," He accused. "You promised that you would see her people back down to Earth."

"What more can I do!?" Ellen shouted in her own defense. "Haven't I done enough!? I agree with Saul and Laura. If I can be with Katya again in some way then that's what I want to do."

Bill looked to his wife and narrowed his eyes in anger.

"You swore that you wouldn't leave me again, Laura," He bitterly reminded her.

She reached out and tugged at his hand.

"Then come with me. We can finally be a family."

As Katya had lay dying Laura knew that she would be with her daughter again one day in some shape or form. Though she couldn't clearly remember the afterlife that she was in before she knew that much. Wherever she had been in death she had felt the souls and energy of her loved ones there along with her. She was sure that they would meet again, but as long as she lived she would desperately grieve for a young life that never got a chance to fully start. Bound to earthly emotions she would despairingly mourn a life that had been created and born from her own body only to come to an untimely end. As long as she drew breath she would be in agony. The thought of living like that indefinitely was akin to torment. Though she could hardly remember the afterlife the prospect of going to her daughter's soul, no matter what form it took, at least gave Laura a way out of the aching darkness of heartbreak.

Tawny was starting to panic. What were they going to do? What were they planning?

"Stop it!" She shouted over the room's chaos. "Stop it all of you! Just fucking stop it right now!"

"Tawny please," Ellen sharply warned. "I know how you loved Kat, but this is NONE of your business."

"Oh yes it is! It absolutely is. Katya and Alexi made it my business! I'm the executor of their joint will and testament. I made them promises, I…"

"Tawny, whatever they had you are welcome to it," Ellen interrupted.

"No! You don't understand at all! You need to listen to me. I just wanted a little time before I…"

"Time?" Ellen cut her off again. "Tawny, you hardly have any concept of time. I've been alive too damn long. Now all of my reasons for living are gone."

"But they aren't! I know they aren't. You have to hear me out. Please, all of you! Don't do anything drastic. I know this hurts! I'm crushed and I can't imagine what it must feel like as her parents, but I need to do this for Katya and Alexi. You must listen to me! She told you right before she died that she was lying to you. She wanted me to explain. Don't you want to know what she meant? I have so much to explain to all of you."

Laura shook her head.

"Whatever she did, whatever she was lying about it doesn't matter. It won't matter where she is, where we're all going."

"Laura," Bill interjected once more.

"If you do this Katya will never rest in peace!" Tawny angrily proclaimed. "NEVER! You claim that you loved her! Respect the life that just ended! She existed here for over twenty years. She had friends, had passions, hobbies, a career, thoughts and opinions that all amounted to make up the living being that she was. You just want to ignore that!? Go chasing after some ethereal form of her!? The women in that bed was your daughter! Wherever she's going now, wherever she may have been before, HERE she was Katya Isakoff; a wife, a friend, and a soldier. That life and that person deserves to be respected and honored! You're throwing away her past! She left an impact, she left a legacy...Please...please don't ignore it."

Laura rubbed at her aching forehead. Tawny was making sense. So long ago down on Earth she had died knowing that once Bill was gone there would be no one left to mourn her life. She agreed that Katya's life deserved to be remembered, but she just didn't feel strong enough to go on for the sake of a memory.

"Tawny, as much as I want to agree with you…" Laura shrugged, "this just hurts too badly."

Tawny put her hands on either side of her head and dug her fingers into her scalp. They were all losing their damn minds and she was rapidly losing control of the situation.

"But…but…" Tawny struggled to come up with something more. Suddenly she had an idea. "Wait! She asked you a favor! You heard her last words!"

Ellen bit at her lip trying to remember what Katya had said.

"We couldn't understand them."

"She asked you to do something for her!" The frantic doctor informed.

"Well," Ellen challenged. "What was it?"

"I…I'd have to show you," Tawny posed. "You have to listen to me! You have to stay!"

She was starting to panic. They all looked so skeptical. Even Adama. Tawny could tell that her words meant little to him even though he seemed to be against his wife's current train of thought. He may have not been on board with what the others had in mind, but Tawny didn't think her proclamations had much to do with it.

"Admiral, please?" She personally implored him.

Bill looked away from the doctor and over at Laura. He said nothing, but his stare silently prompted her to speak.

"I just want be with her," She rasped.

Saul was fed up. This was too personal. He didn't want to debate it in front of an audience and he had no interest in whatever secret information Tawny claimed to have.
"I've had it. Give us one good reason why we should stay, Tawny," He argued. "One good frakking reason!"

As Tawny looked at the dejected family she knew that she had to make a move fast.

"I can give you two."

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR A

CIVILIAN UNIT

ALPHA CIVILIAN MEDICAL CENTER

YEAR: 2316

Tawny wasn't sure how she'd done it, but she was able to convince her departed friend's grieving parents to follow her. When the orderlies came to remove Katya's body from the room, dreadful as it was, it sped things along.

No one wanted to watch as the sheets were pulled over her head and she was wheeled out. They all reluctantly said their last goodbyes and left the room. It was awful. Ellen's wails could be heard through the entire ward and Laura, overcome with grief and still recovering from her blood loss had gotten sick right in the middle of one of the clinic's hallways.

Tawny could hardly stand it all,!but she knew that she had to use their exit to her advantage. As sad and distraught as she felt she motivated herself with the fact that she was on a mission on behalf of Katya and Alexi. She was able to get clearance to mobilize to the civilian side of the station rather quickly from Cmdr. Kaplan who had been in Med Ward for his wounded arm. When Tawny told her father of her plans and the reasons for her swift action he willingly dismissed her and called for a civilian doctor to assist him in her absence. Tawny had put in a call for a transport cart and driver in order to travel quickly. Laura was in no shape to walk and Tawny couldn't risk giving even one of them time to change their minds. When it arrived they loaded up in the cart rather quickly. Tawny was surprised when there was no comment made over Sam joining them. She'd invited him as well.

"I feel like you should see this too, Anders," She'd told him.

When she'd found him again he was sitting on the floor of the ward with his back against the wall outside of Katya's now empty room.

"I don't know…The Colonel…I shouldn't," He said shaking his head.

Tawny had insisted.

"Don't worry about Tigh. I think she would want you to come. Plus I really don't want to explain this twice."

Sam had agreed and they left for their destination.

It was a mostly quiet trip. No one really spoke. Now and then Tawny could hear Ellen quietly sobbing against the Colonel's shoulder. She hated the sound of it so she focused on the noise from the transport cart's motor as it zoomed through the still shell-shocked station. As they drove on she tried to mentally rehearse what she was about to do.

The cart's driver dropped them off at the entrance to the Civilian Medical Center. It was as far as he had clearance to go with his vehicle. They disembarked and started on foot following Tawny's brisk steps. The Tighs trailed the doctor with Bill and Laura behind them. Anders purposefully walked a few paces back giving the devastated family some space. No one acknowledge him. He wondered a few times if they even realized that he was there.

They had been following Tawny for about ten minutes but it already felt like too long.

Saul finally spoke up.

"Lieutenant, where the frak are you dragging us to?"

Tawny didn't look back at him. She picked up the pace becoming even more anxious.

"Right this way," She answered as they turned into the Women's Ward corridor.

"Why are we in the civilian hospital, Tawny?" Ellen asked with irritation in her weak and failing voice.

Tawny kept her eyes forward.

"Almost there," She assured.

Soon they came upon the hatch to a laboratory. Tawny stopped at the entrance and turned to face them but her eyes went to her feet. This was it. She just had to muster up enough courage to speak. She internally cursed at herself for being so weak in the moment.

"Damn it, where are we?" Bill snarled.

Laura's feet had almost given out from underneath her three times during their walk. He had to keep her steady as she stood beside him in a partial daze. Her eyes were opened but focused on nothing. She had already gotten sick in the ward, losing whatever sugars and vitamins her post-blood draw juice should have provided. The loss of their daughter was truly starting to sink in and Bill was afraid that she was going into shock. He wanted to get her someplace quiet where they could be alone.

"We're here," Tawny told them in a voice that lacked the confidence she had hoped for.

"Well where the frak is here?" Saul bit.

His ire made all of the blood drain out of Tawny's face.

Beside him Ellen's eyes were starting to dart all over the place. First she saw the signs outside of the laboratory; warnings and rules for entry. Then she remembered where they had walked. They were somewhere within the Women's Ward. It was then that she looked above the hatch and saw the lab's title projected above it; Estuary Alpha.

Her stomach sunk. Her jaw went slack.

"Ellen?" Saul said, clutching her hand, afraid that she was about to break down again.

"I know where we are," She answered in a breathy voice.

"Where?" Saul asked. "What is this?"

Her eyes watered with fresh hot tears but she didn't answer him.

"Tawny?" She called, getting the young woman to look up at her. Tawny glanced up, her eyes now wet and weeping. "Tawny, no," Ellen said in a tone teetering between denial and realization.

Tawny looked Ellen in the eye and then nodded her head in firm confirmation.
Ellen let out a sudden gasp and her palm covered her mouth. She doubled over and Saul went to catch her.

"What's going on?" He pushed, now more than alarmed. "What's wrong, Ellen?"

"If you all would follow me please," Tawny requested, turning her back to the small group.
As she ran her cuff over the lab's access pad she heard Ellen's muffled cries growing stronger. She bit her lip hard and entered holding the hatch open for everyone.

Bill's mind was on overdrive, but he had the wherewithal to see that Ellen had just figured something out, at least partly. As he helped Laura into the room he took a look around. His mouth went dry and his throat tightened. Suddenly Ellen wasn't alone in her suspicions. He was starting to get an idea himself.

Bill had never been to the Estuary but he'd read and heard enough about it to guess where he was right away.

The lab was dark; unusual for such a facility. There was low lighting; enough for minimal staff to get around safely. It was warm, almost uncomfortably so in stark comparison to the rest of the sometimes frigid station air. It was very quiet, yet at the same time the entire room seemed to hum like a hive with a sort of strange vibration. There was a humidity to the air and it smelled faintly sweet.

Bill swallowed hard as the meaning of his surroundings started to sink in and his months old suspicions were finally confirmed.

Tawny stopped the group once they were all inside and Sam had closed the hatch behind them. She steeled her will and tried to begin but Ellen cut her off.

"Can't be," She nearly croaked.

"What can't be?" Saul asked. "Ellen, where are we? What the frak is this?"

Bill tightened his hold on Laura. She was still silent and lightly trembling beside him.

"This…" Ellen started before more tears rushed down her cheeks. "This is the Estuary, Saul."

Ellen looked around at the lab's walls. They were lined with glass tanks, each with a small screen and panel beside them. The room was fairly dim and they were too far away to see what the dark tanks held but Ellen knew.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR C

MILITARY UNIT

MILITARY MORGUE LEVEL B

Athena held her son's limp hand as the cold air of the room threatened to steal its remaining warmth away. Beside her Helo stood despondent, the whites of his eyes a tortured shade of pink.

Blaze and Alexi's bodies had arrived at the morgue not long after Tawny's examination. They lay next to each other, their gurneys shoulder to shoulder almost exactly how they had fallen and passed together on the control room floor.

More than half the room was already filled with the bodies of lost soldiers and every half hour it seemed as though more were wheeled in. The Agathons knew that soon there would be no space for them. They'd been given special permission by the commander to be there, but they would have to leave sooner rather than later. They just weren't ready yet.

Neither of them turned to the hatch as it opened again. They knew what they would see; ultimate sacrifice draped in a white sheet being rolled in to join their son and his adoptive brother.

"Excuse me, Sir, Ma'am," The voice of an orderly called from behind them. "I hate to disturb you during this time, but if you would mind moving to the other side..."

"Can't you find another spot?" Helo curtly bit over his shoulder at the portly little man in green scrubs

"I would. Believe me," He answered in a nervous and apologetic tone. "I don't want to disrupt your time of mourning but the Xaos made a special request. They wanted me to make sure that this body was placed beside Sgt. Petrov. I'll be brief," He explained.

Sharon's tired forehead creased. She turned to see the orderly bracing the hatch door with his back, blocking the gurney that had only been pushed in half way.

"Beside Alexi?" She questioned aloud. "Why?"

The man sighed and shrugged.

"Well, I suppose because it's his wife," He replied.

"Katya?" Helo blurted.

"What a damn travesty," The orderly sighed, shaking his head. "Young couple, hardly had a chance," He muttered as he began to pull the body the rest of the way inside.

"Good gods…the Admiral, the Colonel," Helo cringed.

"Ellen…" Sharon whispered in disbelief. "My god, Laura."

Even in the throws of her own anguish her heart bled for the other women.

She and Helo silently stepped out of the way as the orderly began to situate Katya's covered body next to Alexi's just as the Xaos had asked.

"My condolences," The man nodded once it was done.
Without waiting for a response he turned and left.

Sharon slowly returned to Blaze's side and looked over the three bodies all lined up.

Helo narrowed his eyes. With his thumb and index finger he pinched the edge of the sheet that covered the new arrival. He lifted it, quickly peeking in. He winced as he glimpsed at Katya's lifeless face. All hope that the orderly had somehow been mistaken was dashed in an instant. Helo dropped the drape back in place and put his arm around his wife.

"What happened to her?" Sharon grimaced as a chill ran through her body.

Helo shook his head in dejected disgust.

"Can't tell."

Sharon's hand trembled as she reached out and rested her palm atop Katya's cloaked form.

"Hera's blood ran through her veins," She softly cried.

As Sharon looked over the three covered gurneys she thought of poor Margot's body alone down on the surface of Earth. She prayed that wherever their souls were now, the four were once again together.

"They're all dead, Karl. All four of them. They're gone."

Helo cringed. Just hours before the four descendants had been together, full of life and determination, hungry for their future.

"Sharon, why?" He asked in bitter contemplation.

For a moment she said nothing.

"They just wanted a reason for being," She lamented.

"To be born...just to struggle and die…" Helo went on.

"They wanted a purpose...some meaning to it all…" Sharon repeated as she began to weep again.

Helo sucked back his tears and sniffed hard. Crying was beginning to physically hurt. His throat felt swollen and his stomach was twisted in knots. Sharon had been saying the same thing all along. Blaze and his companions desperately wanted a reason they saw fit to make sense of their lives. They just wanted to be seen as more than four unfortunate mistakes of government and science. Helo just hadn't gotten it. He saw them serving their people and acting as productive and well meaning members of their society. He didn't get why it wasn't enough, but Sharon had understood from the start. She knew what it felt like to long to be redeemed for something that wasn't her fault to begin with.

"Sharon, maybe this was it."

"What do you mean?"

"Maybe they weren't supposed to be born...Maybe that's true...but maybe once they were it changed things, changed fate to include them. Now that they've fulfilled what they were meant to do…I don't know…maybe fate is correcting itself. Maybe this was all they were meant for. Now that it's over…."

Sharon bit down on her lip in solemn consideration. Though Helo's theory made a sad sort of sense she despised the thought that her son was only born to die. She didn't see it that way. In her eyes Blaze was born to love and to be loved and she'd only gotten to love him for such a short time.

"We've fulfilled what we were meant to do too, Helo," She reasoned.

"Yeah," He said with an aching sigh.

"What's this life have left for us?"

"I don't know," Helo considered. "Maybe...maybe nothing."

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR A

Alpha Civilian Medical Center; Women's Ward

ROOM: Alpha Estuary Gestational Laboratory

YEAR: 2316

"We're in the Estuary," Ellen repeated. "The station's gestational nursery," She managed to shakily explain.

"What?" Saul sharply replied.

It just wasn't connecting for him. Saul's mind was back on the military side of the ship, in the morgue under a cold sheet. He couldn't think past the image. Everything else simply wasn't computing.

As Ellen's words registered Laura lifted her head out of its dismal haze and stood up a little straighter beside Bill.

She blinked a few times, her eyes raw and burning.

"Nursery?" She hoarsely echoed.

"My gods," Sam remarked as he looked around the room.

His voice finally caught the attention of the others and they all turned to him as he looked around in awe.

Tawny had told Sam about the existence of the facility not long ago during a discussion about Margot's birth. Tawny had told him about how the fetus had been taken from D'Anna and then gestated within an artificial womb. She'd explained that the process wasn't unique to Margot and the other three, that it was in fact a common practice of modern medicine.

Sam's eyes grew larger at every dark tank he looked upon. It finally clicked for him. Tawny had talked about a military patient that she had; a young woman, a new mother.

"Oh my gods, Doc. I didn't…I had no idea…"

"What?" Saul snapped at him. "Why are you even frakking here, Anders? Will someone please tell me what the hell we're doing here for that matter?"

"A nursery?" Laura asked again. Bill squeezed her hands for support when he felt her shaking start to intensify. "Lords of Kobol," She said in an airy whisper.

Ellen defiantly shook her head at Tawny again.

"No. This isn't possible. It's just not."

"Please come with me," Tawny instructed as she turned and walked toward the back of the room.

"Ellen, please," Saul nearly begged as they walked.

He sounded so pitifully lost.

Tawny stopped in front of the last row of tanks. She came upon one located in the center of the counter where a lab tech was punching in some data on the tank's control panel.

The tech, a mousy looking woman in a long white oversized smock gave Tawny a sad smile once she saw her.

"All ready for you, Dr. Xao," The women said in a soft voice. It was obvious that she had been expecting them. "I'm so sorry to hear of your loss." Though technician wasn't exactly whispering she spoke as if she was used to conversing in low undisruptive tones. "All of us here in the Estuary will miss their visits."

Tawny nodded in thanks. The tech gave the other visitors a small nod of silent condolence before excusing herself to another part of the lab.

Tawny moved in front of the panel that the technician had just been working on. She could hear Saul manically muttering his queries into his wife's ear, but Ellen could only cry in response.

Tawny reached into her coat pocket and pulled out Katya's station cuff. Her stomach rolled. She felt like she was holding a piece of her. She swallowed hard trying to squelch down the bile that threatened to rise. When she was ready she ran the cuff over the panel's sensor. It chimed with a low beep before the screen illuminated.

With a few taps of her finger a single line of glowing text projected over the screen. Tawny stepped aside so that everyone had a clear view of what it said.

It simply read, Isakoff-Petrov.

Ellen let out a loud sob that she muffled with a hand over her mouth.

"Isakoff-Petrov," Saul read aloud. He shook his head. He knew where he was. He had lived in Orbit long enough to understand where their trip across the station had taken them, but seeing Katya and Alexi's names on one of the Estuary tank's screens wasn't adding up. "But…I…you…they," He stuttered. "Can't be."

"Bill?" Laura squeaked, looking at him for some sign that he understood what was happening.

She was still so confused.

"My gods," Ellen gawked. "This is impossible."

Tawny sighed and wiped at her eyes with her sleeve.

"I'm so sorry that I have to tell you like this…but you wouldn't listen to me," She told them as she turned to the panel once again. She swiped away the projection of the deceased couple's names and punched in a few more directives. Slowly the tank started to take on a low amber glow. Tawny stepped to the side once more as everyone watched the chamber becoming gradually brighter until it was lit with a dim orange light that finally illuminated its contents.

Ellen couldn't take it. Her knees gave out and she sunk to the floor and cried. Behind her the others remained wide-eyed as they looked upon the two little beings suspended within the tank.

Laura was beyond stunned. She tried to exhale but the air in her lungs felt trapped. She suddenly became lightheaded and began to sway on her feet. Bill and Sam surrounded her. Tawny nervously called the tech back, worried that she would need some medical assistance. As Laura's doctor Tawny felt guilty for taking her on the stressful excursion. The poor woman shouldn't have even been on her feet at all let alone up and walking. She should have been sleeping and letting her body replenish its blood supply.

Laura regained her balance. With Sam's support on one side and Bill's on the other she remained stable.

Deciding that Laura wouldn't need any medical help after all Tawny asked that the technician bring over two receiving chairs.

Saul was in a state of shock. His mouth hung agape. He was as still as a statue. Even with his wife loudly sobbing by his feet he couldn't move to comfort her. His gaze was stuck forward on the sight before him.

The tech wheeled over one of the lab's large plush receiving chairs, obviously meant for long or overnight stays.

Bill gingerly helped Laura to sit. Another was soon brought over and stationed beside it.

With Saul stunned to stone Sam went over to Ellen intending to pick her up off of the floor himself and place her within the vacant chair. When he bent down to help her she violently pushed him away and began to struggle to her feet on her own. Sam gave her some space but stuck nearby, fearful that she might fall.

"Gods damn it!" She snapped as she turned to Tawny. "This can't be true. She couldn't…She wasn't capable…Besides, she would have told me. She would have frakking told me!" Ellen exclaimed with her index finger inches from the doctor's face.

Tawny didn't know what to say. She had nothing to offer them other than the truth and she knew that the truth was so very unbelievable and so very hard to hear.

"She told you that she was keeping something from you," Tawny returned.

"Ellen…" Saul managed to say without taking his astounded eyes off of the tank. "Ell…"
He trailed off, continuing to stare as if nothing else in the room existed.

"It is true," Tawny told them. "I would never lie to you about this. I just needed to show you that there is still a reason for you to live," She said gesturing to the tank. "Please, please don't abandon them to escape your own pain. They've just become orphans. You're all they have left now and the last thing that Kat asked me to do was to make sure that you knew that."

Ellen began to sob again; this time even harder.

With caution Laura started to slowly rise from her chair.

Though Bill didn't think that it was a good idea he didn't try to stop her. At first he stood close providing support at her back but she left him, taking one step and then another on her own toward the glowing tank. She passed Saul's stupefied form and Ellen's crumpled body. She kept walking until she was only inches from the glass. She could feel a humming beat coming from the tank's waters and she felt the warmth emanating from it on her skin. Her heart clenched painfully in her chest and her throat seized up. She couldn't believe her eyes. Within the tank were two tiny humanoid forms; one a little larger than the other, but neither more than ten inches long. They faced each other with their knees curled into their chests and their paper thin eyelids still tightly sealed shut. Their delicate skin's pink hue was exaggerated in the orange tank light. Their perfectly formed spines curved toward one another as they floated weightlessly. Each had an umbilical cord that lead from their navels to two separate masses of tissue, one in either of the back corners of the chamber.

Without turning around Laura shook her head in awe and whispered the words that Ellen couldn't bring herself to utter aloud.

"These…these are our grandchildren."

Behind her Ellen let out another string of choking strangled sobs. Her cries were now mixed in with her husband's, though Saul's were softer and not as easy to distinguish.

Tawny walked back over to stand beside Laura.

"Yes," She confirmed loud enough for all of them to hear. "At least they would have been," She corrected. "But what they need now are parents, someone to call Mom and Dad."

Laura leaned over to steady herself on the countertop that the tank was stationed on. In no time Bill was at her back. He embraced her and they quietly cried together.

Tawny turned to find the Tighs on their knees in a similar state. She looked for Anders and found him across the room in the darkest corner of the lab. She needed to give Katya's parents some space and Sam had no one to lean on. She left the two couples and made her way over to join him.

They would need some time to let the news sink in before she told them anymore.

Anders wiped a few tears from his eyes as Tawny walked up to him.

"She was the patient with the twins," He sniffed.

"Yes."

Sam rubbed his open palm against his forehead and then up through his sweat dampened hair.

"Then she was pregnant when…I…"

"When you first got here? At your resurrection?" Tawny finished for him with a hint of old resentment in her tone. "Yes. And for couple of weeks after."

Sam struggled to speak.

"I didn't know. I had no idea."

"How could you have known? Her own parents didn't know."

"The way I hounded her. I was…I was scaring her. If I'd known…"

"What?" Tawny briskly challenged. "You would have what? You would have stopped?" She bit. "I'm sorry, but I really doubt that, Anders."

Her compassion could only go so far. She'd been kind to him from the start but she'd always been truthful.

"I would have been…calmer?" He regretfully theorized. "More gentle? Maybe. I don't know."

"Anders don't do that. Just don't," Tawny scolded him as she crossed her arms.

Sam's head continued to absentmindedly shake in denial.

"Kara…she didn't want kids because she was afraid," He wistfully recalled out loud. "Her mother treated her like dirt. She abused her. She told me once. She didn't trust herself not to make the same mistakes...but she wouldn't have. I know it. She could never. And then there was everything with Casey…" Anders trailed. He was mostly rambling to himself. He knew that Tawny wouldn't understand and yet he couldn't help the flood of emotions. "Once, for the briefest of moments Kara got to know what it was like to be a mom. I never knew if it changed her mind or reinforced it. After that everything just...it just all fell apart. But I know…I always knew. She would have been a great mother…and now…"

Tawny narrowed her eyes at him. She never truly understood what he was talking about and she never pressed him. Now wasn't the time to start.

"Look, Anders, I'm sorry for whatever this is bringing up for you. Truly, I am, but I'm going to need your help," She said glancing back at the others. "Especially with Ellen. You know her better than anyone besides the Colonel and he's useless right now."

Sam looked over at the Tighs and saw Ellen's shoulders still wracked with sobs.

"She's dying inside. I know that much. I watched her lose Daniel…and this…"

Tawny shook her head.

"But she can't. She can't let go of this life. All that Katya asked of me before she died was to make sure that her parents were the ones to raise her children as their own. I can't even convince these people to stay in this existence let alone raise a set of twins. They all want to off themselves for fuck sake. What the hell do I do?"

Sam pinched the bridge of his nose. It was pounding with tension.

He looked back at Ellen once more and exhaled.

"You got them here," He told Tawny with a nod. "Give them time. Keep talking. Drive it in until you're blue in the face. Don't give them time to walk away. They'll listen. It's gotta sink in. Right now it's just so unreal. You've gotta show them how real it is. As far as Ellen goes you just have to keep her strong and keep her focused. I know her, Doc. Now that she knows…now that she's seen them...she's not going anywhere. Trust me on that."

Tawny rubbed at her sore and tired neck.

"I hope you're right."

LOCATION: PLANET EARTH

EASTERN HEMISPHERE

SOMEWHERE WITHIN THE FORMER EASTERN REPUBLIC SECTOR

YEAR: 2316

Down on the planet below the bodies of an eradicated race of mechanical beings littered the land and somewhere among them a grieving mother dug her child's grave.

As D'Anna raced the setting sun she didn't shed a tear. She dug with anger and she dug with pride.

She prayed and thanked the Lord for the gift that she'd been given and then when it was time she put the body that her angel had inhabited into the ground.

D'Anna had experienced the programmed love for her cylon brothers and sisters. She had experienced a divine love for God. As she covered Margot's body with fists of soil her heart ached and she knew that none of it could ever compare to the inexplicable love she'd felt for her child.

Others looked at her as strange and cold. She knew that most saw her as barely a step above the bots they had just exterminated, but she knew in her heart that she was much more.

She had once been a devoted sister, she would forever be one of God's children, and for the briefest of moments in time she had been a mother.

With her energy almost expended D'Anna dropped to her knees to rest in the soil. She had died last time feeling like a failure and so very alone. This time she would die knowing that she'd accomplished her goal and she would be confident that whether she was living yet another life or residing in God's kingdom, she would never feel alone again.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR A

Alpha Civilian Medical Center; Women's Ward

ROOM: Alpha Estuary Gestational Laboratory

YEAR: 2316
Tawny stayed with Sam a while longer. Once she felt that a suitable amount of time had passed she decided to head back over to the others.

Sam followed but stayed at a comfortable distance.

Saul had helped Ellen into one of the viewing chairs. He stood behind her with his hands on her shoulders.

Laura and Bill were still hovering by the tank staring in awe.

Tawny cleared her throat gaining their attention.

"I'm very sorry that I had to tell you all like this. I'm sorry that you had to learn of this from me. This isn't the way it was supposed to be. I'm so sorry that I threw this at you so soon after…after losing them…but the way you were talking back in the infirmary…I couldn't risk giving any one of you time to act on it. I'm truly sorry for all of this. I'm sorry for Kat. I'm just so so sorry. I guess…all I can do now is answer your questions…as best as I can, that is," She finished.

Tawny waited but they all stayed silent. She felt sick to her stomach once again. Perhaps they were all in shock. Perhaps they were just so angry at her for failing to save their daughter that they couldn't even speak to her.

"How could this have happened?" Ellen finally croaked. "When she was thirteen I had to sit her down and tell her that she would probably never have her own children. When she and Alexi got together I had to warn her that their pairing would virtually eliminate any chance of having a family. This should be impossible. You're telling us that these are their biological children?"

"Yes, ma'am," Tawny answered.

"Why impossible?" Bill asked.

He was the only one who had no notion of Katya's supposed infertility.

"Well, Sir," Tawny started, "Ellen is right. It has to do with the fact that Kat was the offspring of two individuals with cloned DNA. For some reason studies show us that the offspring of clones have a very low fertility rate. It was the same for Margot and Blaze and for Alexi too. The fact that Katya and Alexi were together lessened their chances of conceiving even further. In fact, it made their chances almost nonexistent…almost."

"The probability of this happening had to be astronomical," Ellen remarked.

"That's true," Tawny agreed. "I can't explain it. Nevertheless, it happened."

Ellen dragged her fingers through the crown of her hair.

"How could she keep this from me?"

"I can't believe this," Saul said stubbornly. "I just can't. You expect us to believe that we didn't know our own daughter was pregnant?"

Tawny nodded.

"She'd been actively keeping it from you since she found out."

"When…" Laura started to ask, though she didn't quite know what it was that she was asking. She remembered learning about how Katya herself was born in the military lab. She had a natural birthday, but she had another separate date that she was taken from her own gestational chamber. "I mean for how long…How old are…"

"They were born about seven weeks ago," Tawny interrupted Laura's disjointed questioning. "At the time Kat was fifteen weeks along. They are currently at a little over twenty-two weeks gestation."

"Twenty-two weeks," Laura echoed, "That's almost six months. That would mean that she was…"

"She was already pregnant when you first met her," Tawny answered before Laura could finish."Yes, Ma'am. She was."

Laura's heart sunk like a stone. Her first memory of Katya was of her fainting right before her eyes. She and Bill were in Med Ward still recovering from their resurrection. Katya had passed out in front of their beds. Looking back Laura had always assumed that it was due to the shock of seeing her biological parents conscious for the first time in her life. She wondered now if it could have actually been a sign of her pregnancy.

"Kat had no idea though," Tawny clarified. "Not at that point. It was a few weeks later that she and Alexi even found out themselves. I know that it sounds kind of irresponsible of her, but well…well, Ellen you know how Kat was. You know what she dealt with physically. She had no reason to really suspect."

"Why not?" Laura inquired.

Ellen shook her head at the memory of the years she spent trying to help Katya regulate her body. Nothing had ever worked.

"Kat's cycle was a mess from the start," Ellen openly clarified choking back a threatened sob. "As a teenager she would skip months at a time. She could hardly keep track. There was no pattern to it. Xao always blamed it on her intensive ballet training and her poor diet. He said that it was a totally separate issue from her infertility. It wasn't affecting her health negativity so eventually we just gave up trying to correct it. Tawny is right. It was nothing out of the ordinary for Katya's cycle to skip a few months in a row. She wouldn't have suspected a pregnancy. With all that she had going on six months ago, with your resurrections…well…now that I think about it, It makes sense that it took her awhile to realize."

"I feel like I'm losing my damn mind," Saul said in baffled awe.

"As far as we knew she couldn't conceive," Ellen shrugged and sniffed. "So I never took her to get a prevention implant put in when she started dating. I figured why make her go through the discomfort?"

Laura flinched at the memory of her own implant procedure in Med Ward before Bill ever told her who Katya was. It was one day out of many where she had witnessed plain evidence of her child's existence. Tawny had accidentally shown her the truth in black and white and she had chosen to block it out. Looking back at how blatantly and purposefully oblivious she had been made Katya's own incognizance seem that much more believable. She wasn't surprised that it had taken Katya so long to acknowledge her condition. Laura figured that it was the same way she'd ignored the painful lump in her breast for almost year back on Caprica before getting it checked. She had passed down her pension for denial to her daughter.

Ellen's mind was racing. How could she have missed this? She and Katya were so in tuned, so close. It made no sense.

"I still don't understand why she didn't tell me the moment she found out."

Tawny looked directly at Ellen.

"You have to understand what a shock it was to both Kat and Alexi. She had been in that accident during combat…"

"Gods. She was," Laura recalled with a gasp. "She was hurt…The twins survived it and she had no idea?"

Tawny nodded in confirmation.

"And with her biology the way it was we had no reason to test for it the night of collision," The doctor added. "We ran standard blood work when she was treated for her injuries, but I never even thought to check for a pregnancy. I should have in spite of the near impossibility, but the infirmary was crazy that night. It was filled with injured pilots. I never noticed her hCG levels. We sent her home on heavy pain medication," Tawny recounted, guiltily wincing at the memory. "I could kill myself for not reading the whole report."

"So how did she find out?" Bill asked.

"Katya was recovering from her injuries in some respects. She got her range of motion back and her pain diminished, but she still wasn't well. She was having frequent dizzy spells and stomach aches."

They all recalled that much. It had taken Katya quite a while to get back on her feet as the repercussions of the accident seemed to linger.

Tawny continued her explanation as best as she could even though she was starting to hear her own voice echoing in her ears.

"Kat blamed all of her symptoms on side effects from the medication she was on after the crash. She decided to stop taking it, but she was still having some issues with balance and dizzy spells. She didn't tell me at the time. I held her flight status in my hands. All she wanted was to get back in the cockpit. So she told me that she felt fine and she went to Blaze instead for some physical therapy. He suggested that she use her ballet to regain her center of gravity and strengthen her core. She didn't ask my permission, she didn't tell my father either. She just made plans with her old instructor and her former partner, Alexi's cousin Yuri," Tawny recounted with an exasperated huff. Katya had always been one of her worst patients, but she'd give anything to still be treating her; self destructive tendencies, stubbornness and all. "During her first post collision ballet session Kat got dizzy and collapsed on stage."

Upon hearing Tawny's account Saul and Laura immediately found each other's eyes.

"Gods, we were there," Laura said to him without much volume to her voice.

"What?" Ellen asked, missing the connection that Laura and Saul were obviously making.

"We watched her dance that day," Saul confirmed. "That had to be it. I took Laura to the theater. We saw Katya's dizzy spell. Yuri was with her. I knew he would call Alexi. Kat was still so damned angry. I didn't want her to see Laura there. We…we left her."

Saul looked to his feet as guilt threatened to overcome him.

Tawny picked up the story again.

"Yuri brought Katya in that day. He left once Alexi got there. When I came in to examine her Kat finally admitted all of the symptoms that she'd been experiencing. I was concerned that she wasn't getting better after the accident so I did another full panel. A medic who didn't know about Katya's infertility flagged the results on her chart and brought it to my attention." Tawny stopped for a moment and took a deep breath. "I retested twice over. It was unbelievable, but suddenly all of her symptoms made sense."

Saul narrowed his red weary eye. He still recalled that day so well.

"She could have told us that night. We asked how she was over and over again at dinner."

"She and Lex were in shock and they were frightened," Tawny defended. "I did an internal scan right after the bloodwork came back. We saw that it was twins right away and it just added to the disbelief."

"Twins," Bill said in reflection. "With the issues you're claiming she had?"

Tawny shrugged.

"That part isn't as astounding as you might think, Admiral. Women with irregular cycles often release multiple ova during ovulation. The miraculous part is that a viable pregnancy actually occurred from them," Tawny explained. "Katya felt so guilty for not realizing sooner. Not only had she been drinking and smoking the entire time, she'd also been flying. She was in an awful accident and then on heavy medication. She was terrified that she'd done some irreversible damage, but it was too soon to tell. When she and Lex left that day they didn't know what they were going to do. They hadn't even made a decision yet. They didn't want to tell you in case they wound up having to terminate the pregnancy, which was a very real possibility."

Ellen couldn't comprehend Tawny's explanation. She still couldn't believe that Katya would have kept something so important from her. No matter the outcome or Katya's choice she would have helped and supported her.

Ellen had been suspicious that she couldn't easily read her daughter over the past few months. The weeks of feeling like Katya was actively blocking her suddenly made more sense. Ellen had blamed Katya's distance and withdrawal on her new relationship with Laura and Bill. Later on she'd blamed it on her peculiar issues with Sam. She knew that Katya was shutting her out to keep something from her but never in her wildest dreams did Ellen think that she could be hiding anything so astounding.

"Well they obviously made a choice," She said through clenched teeth. "Why the hell were we kept in the dark after that?"

Tawny rubbed at her eyes before answering. Katya had left her with such a colossal responsibility and the weight of it was already wearing her down. There were no easy explanations and she knew that the questions would only keep coming. Sam was right. She had to keep them talking. She had to keep them engaged in the situation until they were immersed enough to hold onto life on their own. How long would it take? She just wanted to curl up into a ball and cry in private. She too was suffering from the immense loss. She'd known Katya longer than any of them had. Her grief was deep, but she had to carry on. She knew that Katya wouldn't rest peacefully until it was all done.

"First it was the Agathon download," Tawny recounted. "She didn't want to worry you, knowing how stressed you were and how much pressure you were under. And then, well…soon after that it became clear that things weren't going very well."

Ellen's brows came together.

"What do you mean?"

Tawny looked over her shoulder at the chamber. She needed to see the two little reasons she was doing all of this in order to keep up her strength to continue.

"Whatever miracle occurred to allow the pregnancy to happen, it didn't go as far as conditioning Katya's body to be able to carry it," The doctor explained as she looked back at the group. "She was sick and dizzy all of the time, she was quite anemic and on top of it all she kept bleeding. There were at least two occurrences of threatened miscarriage," Tawny divulged. She winced as she recalled the worst instance. "One morning Kat called me to her cabin. She was frantic. Alexi was away working on Beta Station so she was alone when she woke up. When I arrived and saw her…saw the bed sheets…there was so much blood. I thought for sure that was the end of it. But when I brought her to Med Ward our scans were still picking up two strong heartbeats. It was truly miraculous. I had her stay overnight so we could monitor them, try to stop the bleeding and get her hydrated."

More tears rolled down Ellen's cheeks as she listened to the unbelievable story.

If Katya had only told her she would have been by her side. She must have been so afraid.

"Tawny, Kat never spent a night in Med Ward without me," Ellen pointed out. "She would never stay there alone. You know how terrified she was of sleeping there. I can't believe that she wouldn't have called me at that point."

Tawny shrugged. For a moment she struggled to recall all of the details of the past few months.

"You…uh...Oh, you were on the basestar with Margot. We had just experienced our first encounter with the effects of the bot signal. You and Margot were on the ship trying to figure out what it was. Alexi was with the Colonel and the Admiral on Beta station trying to get the Agathons adjusted after their download. Kat wouldn't let me call anyone. Believe me, I tried to convince her. I tried to get her to let me call someone, anyone. I was tempted to call Alexi, but I couldn't betray her confidence as a friend or her privacy as her doctor. She did tell Lex once he returned home…but...actually…actually she wasn't alone, now that I think of it, " Tawny suddenly recalled. "Laura, you stayed with her that night."

"Laura?" Ellen echoed.

"What?" Saul followed.

Laura's tears were renewed once again. She could hardly find her wrecked voice.

"That's why she was there…oh gods."

"She called you?" Ellen asked, her face turning red with frustration.

Katya could hardly stand Laura back then. Ellen couldn't imagine that she had called on her during such a vulnerable time of need. Not at that point in their relationship.

"I was there for an exam," Laura said as she wiped away a half dozen tears. It was a useless gesture. They just kept flowing, becoming even more plentiful at the memory. "I heard Katya's voice through the curtain. She was upset. I remember waking her from a nightmare. She seemed so afraid. I asked what she was doing there. She told me that she was dehydrated. She swore that was all that was wrong. She made me promise not to tell anyone that I saw her there. I was so afraid of pushing her away. I was terrified of making her angry. We were hardly friendly at the time. I did what she asked of me. She didn't want me there so I left but…I was worried so I went back to the ward with Vladi that night. It was quiet. Katya was alone and a little more open to visitors. I brought her something to read…" Laura paused as remembered their first accidental experience with projection. "I brought a book. I read to her for a while and I fell to sleep in a chair. Gods, I didn't mean to," She squeaked. "I was angry at myself for letting it happen at the time. I thought that Kat was upset that I spent the night so I left early that morning. I tried to ask her what was wrong again once more before I left and she finally lost her patience with me. I can't believe that's why she was there. I was suspicious that she might be sicker than she was letting on, but she was so defensive when I tried to ask. I didn't want to strain the limits when it came to Katya's acceptance. I guess my fear clouded my perception. Please understand, Ellen. I had no idea."
Laura felt like she needed to justify it somehow. She felt so guilty. Should she have known? Should she have sensed it? Should she have pushed Katya for more of an answer? What would a good mother have done?

As Ellen took in Laura's explanation she felt all of her usual demons starting to rise within her. She felt envy, disappointment and anger, as if Laura could have done something more, as if she should have somehow known. At one time Ellen knew that she would have let the dark emotions overtake her, but now none of them could rise beyond the magnitude of her sadness. As she looked at Laura Roslin, the women who had given birth to her precious kitten, she just couldn't feel anything except aching empathy for her. Their grief was painfully mirrored in one another's eyes.

"At least she wasn't all alone," Ellen managed to say.

It was enough to let Laura know that Ellen wasn't holding anything against her. Somehow it helped.

"I let Kat go home the next day," Tawny resumed. "But before she left I was able to tell her that she was carrying a boy and girl. It was the first time I had seen her smile since she first found out."

"A boy and a girl," Saul repeated, doing his best to halt more tears.

Tawny nodded with a small smile.

"I put her on bed rest for a few days and she recovered, but Kat and Lex were being realistic. They knew that the pregnancy was at risk. Katya didn't want to disappoint anyone so they decided to keep things to themselves a while longer. They only told people who they felt it was absolutely necessary to tell. Margot and Blaze knew as well. You can't fault them for sharing it with those two. My father also informed Kaplan with Katya's permission," Tawny added. "Since she wanted to keep it a secret they had to come up with a plausible reason for her to be benched from flight status for a while. That's where the excuse of her failed vision exams came into play. Considering the accident she'd just been in nobody questioned it."

"Frakkin' Kaplan knew?" Saul scowled with resentment. "And he kept it from us?"

Tawny frowned.

"He kept the private business of two adult officers confidential. So yes he did," She defended. "Until Katya made it past the first trimester she had no intention of telling anyone else. She knew that once she got through the first twelve weeks she could opt to be induced so that the twins could gestate here in the Estuary. The pregnancy wasn't stable. That was her safest option." Tawny sighed and let herself look at the babies again before continuing. "But we let it go on longer than it should have. Kat wanted them to be as strong as possible for the delivery and transfer. Every time she had a good few days she would push the induction date back. She knew that she couldn't do it for much longer, but the larger and more developed they were in the womb the greater their chances were of surviving birth. The problem was that the longer they waited the more chance there was for something to go wrong in the meantime. We explained that to her, but you all know how stubborn she could be. When the time came to go to Delta Station for the last download Kat was feeling okay so she pushed her induction back once again so that she wouldn't miss the trip. She wanted to be there for Margot." Tawny stopped and shook her head. "I shouldn't have let her delay it again. It was becoming damned obvious for one thing. As much as she tried to hide it rumors were starting to spread among fellow officers."

"Obvious?" Ellen balked. "How obvious could it have been? I never noticed and I know her better than anyone."

Tawny tilted her head and had to stop herself from rolling her eyes. Though it took Katya a while to show, the pregnancy had indeed become visible. At the fifteen week mark and carrying twins she could hardly hide it. Excuses for her expanding waistline were becoming less believable as her tummy began to slightly round. She'd even ordered a new tunic for her uniform to accommodate her changing figure. Though it wasn't overly pronounced it was fairly noticeable, especially to those who already knew.

Tawny didn't want to offend anyone, but the truth was that Katya had only been successful at keeping her secret toward the end because of how preoccupied everyone in her family was.

"To be fair, Ellen, when Kat finally started showing a bit you were spending most of your time on Delta Station with Anders. You were there for days on end with only short visits back home to Alpha. You were so busy and stressed. It's no wonder you missed it. That was another reason why Katya didn't want you worrying about her."

"Gods damn it," Ellen cringed. She felt the agony of more guilt starting to wrap its way around her battered heart. "I was gone. I wasn't there for her."

"Ellen, don't do this to yourself," Saul cautioned. "I was with her every frakkin' day. I had shifts in the control room with her, morning briefings. She and Alexi were still with me for dinner most nights back then. I never noticed either," He rationalized.

Ellen turned away from her husband's consolation to find Sam where he stood nearby.

"You son of bitch," She swore, narrowing her eyes at him in disdain. "You had to act like such a frakking maniac! I spent all of my time, all of my damn energy on that frakking station with you, trying to calm you down and pacify your stupid tantrums. You acted like a petulant child that needed to be watched at all times! Meanwhile my own child needed me and I wasn't there! I was gone so much that I didn't even notice what she was going through!"

Tawny raised her palms to try and halt some of the aggression. She hadn't meant to make Sam the target of Ellen's anger.

"Please, please everyone keep your voices down," She pleaded in a low tone. "I know this might sound strange but the glass of these chambers isn't sound proof. They're designed to let in noise. Let's not forget that this lab is filled with little patients. Many of them are probably sleeping and all of them are affected by loud threatening noises. It's important that we keep their wellbeing in mind."

"Ellen, I'm so sorry," Sam openly cried. "I have no excuse. I'm so sorry."

"Frak you, Sam," Ellen spat, but she knew deep down that it was herself who she was most angry at. "Gods, what kind of mother am I to have let this go unnoticed for so long?"

"Ellen, please don't be so hard on yourself," Laura appealed. "None of us noticed."

"I did," Bill's low but firm voice blurted in.

Everyone's eyes went to him after his unexpected interjection. He had been so quiet the entire time they'd been standing there. His admission was more than a shock.

"Bill?" Laura whispered in disbelief. "Bill, what do you mean?"

"I noticed…that she was pregnant," He reiterated. "At least I thought I had at the time."

Laura's bottom lip quivered before she spoke.

"You knew?" She pressed in disbelief. She was suddenly so angry at him. "Bill, godsdamn it. I thought she was sick. You knew that. You knew that I was terrified that my frakking genetics were catching up to her. Do you understand how guilty and horrified I felt thinking that she might have cancer?"

Bill bowed his head.

"It wasn't my business to tell," He justified. "I did my best to assure you that I thought Katya was fine. I didn't think it was my place to say anymore than that."

Saul lifted his chin and squinted his eye.

"What do you mean you noticed, Bill?"

"I mean I saw it," Bill said plainly, backing up Tawny's claim. "I thought I could tell. I wasn't sure at first. Kat had stopped flying after her accident. She started taking shifts in the control room right around the time I enlisted. We started working together pretty closely. There were times when she would become pale, dizzy, nauseated, overtired," He listed with a shrug. "She blamed the crash, but it didn't add up. I remembered the signs from when Carolanne was carrying the boys. Katya and Alexi were newlyweds. To me it made sense. I had no idea that she was supposed to be nearly barren," He defended. "Once I suspected I kept an eye on her. Now and then during a shift I would take a look. She seemed to be popping out just a bit, but there was no announcement so I started to think that maybe I was wrong."

"Frak me," Ellen said with a hand to her head. "I remember teasing her weeks ago for putting on weight."

She covered her tired aching eyes with her palms. So many little things were starting to click into place as she listened to Bill continue.

"When we went to the Delta download she was my flight escort on my shuttle to the station. She dozed off at one point during the ride. The way she was sitting, with her hand resting over her middle," Bill described. "It was like she was subconsciously protecting something." He still had the sweet image of her in his mind's eye; hand resting on what seemed to be the slight new curve of her belly. "We all went to that banquet the night before the download; the Unity Day Officer's Ball. I noticed then that Kat wasn't drinking. It all lined up. She wore a little blue dress. It wasn't especially form fitting, but when I asked her to dance…" He faltered for a moment, suddenly overcome with emotion. "When I held her in my arms on the dance floor I was almost positive that I was right. I didn't dare ask her. Besides, I knew that she would want to tell Saul and Ellen first. After that night I figured that we would all be getting the news any day."

"Why didn't you ever say anything?" Laura asked with contempt.

New resentment was brewing within her gut. She recalled all of the little symptoms she'd feared were signs that their daughter was sick; the dizzy spells, her stay in the infirmary, her sore and swelling breasts. For a brief time Laura had truly attributed all of it to the possibility of cancer, all while Bill suspected the pitter patter of little feet. She was furious.

Bill sighed and shrugged.

"Not long after we returned from Delta Station Kat took some R and R. I remember when she came back I started second guessing myself. The news never came. I kept a lookout, but she seemed to be losing weight little by little, not putting it on. Eventually I think I saw her take a drink with Saul one day and I figured that I had built up the whole thing in my head. I don't know. I thought I had been wrong after all. I was a little embarrassed to be honest," Bill admitted. "In my last life…I never had any grandchildren. I started to think that maybe it had just been wishful thinking on my part, that maybe I was trying to create something that wasn't there. Eventually I just pushed it out of my mind."

They were all quiet and contemplative over Bill's personal explanation.

Though he had eventually changed his mind Bill had recognized Katya's condition and he was the only one. It made the rest of them feel even worse. They stood there wondering what it was about him that had allowed him to take notice, and what it was about each of them that had caused them to miss it. Was it the fact that Bill Adama had a natural parental intuition that the rest of them simply lacked? Was he just more sensitive to the signs having already fathered and raised two children in his last life? Or had they all truly been too absorbed in other concerns to see what was right in front of their eyes?

No one spoke for a while and Tawny took the opportunity to add on to Bill's story.

"The Admiral is right about the timeline. Not long after the Delta download there was combat in Orbit. The bots sent out the signal again, but it was stronger than it had ever been. It was the first time that Kat and Laura felt the effects. That day they were both brought into Med Ward after it was over."

"She came and sat with me," Laura recalled as she closed her eyes trying to picture it.

They had such an intimate talk that day. Katya had helped her escape the awful surroundings of the clinic by projecting despite her apprehensions. She took her to the familiar beach; one that for some reason they seemed to share in their dreams. Laura tried to remember every detail that she could but Tawny's account was too distracting.
"Katya seemed fine. A medic looked her over. She insisted on going back to work so she was discharged."

"Slip-Shot," Saul abruptly interrupted

"What?" Ellen asked.

"That was the day we lost Slip-Shot," Saul expanded. "Kat came back into the control room that day after getting checked out. It was the day she gave us her theory about the general population not being able to pass the atmosphere line because of their cylon roots. We had her orchestrate a test mission. Slip-Shot went in with a small squad and we lost him. Kat blamed herself."

Tawny nodded at the colonel's recount.

"Blaze came rushing into Med Ward with Kat in his arms. They had been on duty in the control room when she started having strong irregular contractions. From what we could tell it had been going on all day masking itself as lower back pain, but after the stress of losing a fellow pilot it became much worse. There was nothing I could do. We had let it go on for too long. A cervical exam showed that Kat was going to lose the pregnancy. Despite one fetus being a little smaller than the other both babies still had steady heartbeats. They weren't dying. It was her body that just couldn't sustain them any longer. I gave Kat the choice. She could either let nature take its course and miscarry under clinical supervision or she could do what we'd planned all along and go to the civilian Women's Ward to deliver with a specialist and hope that the babies survived their birth and transfer into a gestation chamber. Katya heard their heartbeats and even though she knew it was a long shot she wanted to give them a chance. I sent her over in an emergency medical transport cart. Alexi and I met her there. I had a specialist with me, a Dr. Diaz. She's a civilian OBGYN specializing in early fetal delivery. Katya was given an IV; a cocktail of artificial hormones meant to induce labor. It sped things up, regulated and strengthened her contractions. They were born that night. I delivered them both, with Dr. Diaz's help. They each needed to be submerged in a temporary transport chamber with an intact cord and placenta immediately after delivery. I needed a specialist there to make sure it all went according to procedure. While we always try to allow as natural a delivery as possible the transfer process is a very particular one. Crucial injections need to be administered at precisely the right times in order to allow the physical release and full delivery of the placenta. There's a temporary holding vessel the babies are immediately submerged in before they are transferred to the lab tank. It's quite intensive, as if childbirth weren't exhaustive enough on its own. And we had to do it all twice. Kat was so scared but she did great. I was so proud of her. I know the twins were tiny at that point, but it was still a painful ordeal and the fear made it so much worse. Kat was a trooper though. She refused all painkillers. With all the injections and IVs we'd given her she didn't want to expose her babies to any chemicals that were not absolutely necessary."

Laura put her hands to her cheeks as she listened to the amazing account of the delivery.

Ellen stood with her jaw slack in near disbelief. She was blown away. How could her daughter have gone through so much without her?

"I was proud of Alexi too," Tawny added with a wistful smile. "He was so supportive and hopeful. It was unlike him. You know how he is…I mean…was," She painfully corrected. "Always the biggest pessimist around, but I think that he felt like this time it was his job to be optimistic for Katya. Amazingly both babies survived their birth and were successfully transferred. They had beaten the odds yet again. They seemed to be doing so well. Their heartbeats were strong and steady. The pH of the artificial amniotic fluid had been replicated perfectly. The placentas were functioning well within the chamber and were already absorbing administered nutrients. We expected that one baby would be smaller than the other from Katya's internal scans. It's not an unusual condition with multiples. Everything looked otherwise normal. Kat and Alexi were ready to call you all over the next morning, but then the preliminary results of the babies' soft tissue analysis came back."

"Is there something wrong?" Ellen quickly asked as fresh fear rose within her. "Are they sick?"

"There were some anomalies that we couldn't explain, but we couldn't do any further testing until they were stronger. We were lucky just to get them in the chamber alive. We couldn't risk any invasive tests at that point. Without knowing the status of the twins' health you can imagine how Katya became discouraged. She wanted to wait until their condition was clear before telling anyone else. Alexi was against keeping it a secret any longer. I remember him getting angry and losing his patience with Kat in the recovery room, but somehow she convinced him."

"Anomalies?" Bill questioned

He tried to peer past Tawny to glance at the little bodies within the tank's fluid. They were small and still developing, but they each appeared to be healthy as far as he could see.

"I still can't explain it," The doctor admitted.

"Their results were just…damned odd. It was hard to accurately analyze. Our medical professionals hadn't ever dealt with their unique genetic amalgamation. It wasn't because their father was half cylon. My people all have cylon DNA. There was something else strange about it. Kat's genetics are…special. That added to the perplexity of it."

Laura's felt her cheeks go warm at Tawny's description of Hera's lasting mark on her identity. Her aching heart started to quickly pound within her chest. If anything was wrong with the babies because of her genetics she wouldn't be able to take it.

"Because of those factors our standard means of analysis may not have functioned correctly, so there were some red flags on the initial results. For the time being all that Katya knew was that she and Lex had two living babies. Two babies who had been doing their damndest to hang on through her entire pregnancy and still were. They weren't giving up on their children, but they wanted to know what they could be facing for the future," Tawny justified on their behalf. "Kat couldn't get out of bed that first night. She was exhausted. The IV cocktail that we use to strengthen labor can cause some harsh lingering side effects and it had given her a terrible migraine. She desperately needed rest so I brought Alexi here to the nursery on his own to see the twins and fill out their official documentation."

Tawny turned to the chamber's panel and punched in a few commands. Two documents projected in front of the screen.

"Admiral?" Tawny called for Bill.

He seemed to be the most composed out of the lot. She motioned for him to join her.

Reluctantly he let go of Laura's endlessly vibrating hand and met the doctor.

"Admiral, would you mind reading the gestational chamber's assignment information aloud?"

For a moment Bill considered denying the request, but as he looked at the young women before him he realized how much she was struggling with the heavy endeavor. Tawny Xao was one of his daughter's closest friends. They had considered each other family. She too had lost someone who she loved and she was now bearing the weight of grief and so many secrets left behind. Bill looked at the document projected before him and cleared his throat.

"This amniotic chamber…" He read, his voice more coarse and graveled than usual, "Number EA163 is presently designated for the use of patient Yekaterina Natalia Isakoff."

"You can skip down here," Tawny said pointing to the next section.

"Current occupation; fraternal twins belonging to Yekaterina N. Isakoff and her legal spouse Alexi Petrov. Born by natural means at fifteen weeks and two days internal gestation. Submergence within this chamber is recommended for the length of approximately twenty-five weeks from the date and time of natural birth."

Tawny reached in front of Bill and swiped away the first document.

"Now this one," Tawny prompted. "Just these two lines."

Bill looked down and after a moment Tawny could tell that he had read ahead. She actually heard him gulp as he stared at the text. His breathing had become heavier and she could see that he was holding back his emotion. She wondered if he was even going to be able to continue.

"Sir, do you want me to…"

"No. No, it's alright," Bill said as he sniffed and blinked back a few tears.

He inhaled deeply.

He wanted to make sure that he was going to recite everything clearly. He had to do it justice.

"Present occupation; Baby B; female," He started. "Legally designated; Aleksandra Anastasia Tigh." Bill stopped and swallowed hard before going on. "Baby A; male. Legally designated; Liam-Daniel Tigh."

As Bill finished he looked up to face Saul and stared him in the eye. The other man's mouth was parted in perfect O-shaped awe. Beside him his wife openly wept.

Tawny watched the Tighs as the Admiral's recitation sunk in. It broke her heart all over again. It should have been such a happy time for the family. It was all so unfair. Her emotions started to surface and she had to dab at her eyes with her sleeve before she could go on.

"Alexi decided that since he and Kat didn't share a name that the twins should be given a more appropriate family surname. Originally the babies had Isakoff-Petrov as their legal last name. Alexi just recently changed it on their station birth certificates last week."

Saul and Ellen gripped tightly to one another. Neither of them had imagined that they could love their daughter any more than they already did, but in that moment they each felt the aching admiration they had for her growing in immeasurable extents.

Tawny moved to the side of the chamber leaving it in plain view.

"Liam-Daniel is a bit bigger than his sister," She explained motioning toward the little baby boy. "We were hoping that the controlled chamber conditions would allow Sasha to catch up to him a bit, but we expect that she will still be a little smaller due to her unusually short umbilical cord. She has what's called FGR or fetal growth restriction. She's doing much better these days. It's quite common in twins and multiples. It's not ideal, but so far we aren't too worried. Her growth is monitored very closely. She's a fighter."

"Sasha?" Bill repeated.

"I know," Tawny said with a faint smile as she looked down at the tiny baby girl. "They gave her this big beautiful name and I never once heard them call her by it. Never. Just like Katya I suppose. Besides my dad and Lex no one ever called Kat by her real name," She mused. "Alexi told me that Aleksandra means defender of man and that Anastasia means resurrection. Fitting in this family, don't you think?" She posed. "They put a lot of thought into naming their baby girl, but she's simply been Sasha since the night she was born.

"Sasha," Laura echoed in whispered wonderment.

Tawny nodded.

"I guess it's a common Eastern-Federalist nickname for Aleksandra. I never quite understood it, but that's what they called her. Although, Katya did have her own pet name for her," Tawny said through another wave of grief. "Rybka," She sadly enunciated. "It's a, uh, a term of endearment. Means little fish."

Tawny shrugged and cleared her now very sore throat a few times as they all looked on in astonishment.

"They never explained Liam-Daniel's name to me. I suppose it was just something they liked."

Ellen shook her head, but neither she nor Saul had the strength or composure to explain the beautiful tribute. Their honest and open parenting of Katya had allowed her to grow up knowing their collective ancient grief. She understood that she was what made all of their previous losses so much less painful. She also understood that they had been the first people in her life to make her feel loved, accepted, and wanted. Liam-Daniel's name was her pure token of thanks and her acknowledgment of all that they had lost before they found her.

Sam wiped at his eyes with his wrists, touched by the sentiment honoring the lost Seven.

"She was a good girl, Elle," He said with a sniff, knowing that she was still probably far too angry at him to respond.

Ellen grimaced and shook her head unable to speak for a moment.

"This is all too much!" She finally cried. She had been standing there struggling to keep herself compose through it all and now she was losing the battle. "I can't take it anymore. I feel like I'm dreaming and I can't wake up! This can't be real. Why is this all happening?"

"It's very real, Ellen," Tawny said curtly. "I know that you have just suffered a shattering loss but this is your reality now," She declared with an emphatic gesture to the tank. "Margot was listed as the twins' legal guardian should anything happen to Kat and Lex. Margot is gone. Blaze is gone. You are all the family these children have left. They need love and stability. They need a place to go home to once they're strong enough. They need parents, damn it. Katya asked me to make sure that all four of you understood that. I promised her. It was the last thing that she asked of me. And, Ellen, Laura, it was the last thing she asked of you two."

"What?" Laura asked with a look of confusion.

"I told you that she asked you a favor. Do you remember the last thing she said to you?"

"She said…I'm glad that you're my mother," Ellen dolefully replied.

Katya had said the words as she squeezed Ellen and Laura's hands. They had understood that part of her message but what came next wasn't clear.

"That wasn't the very last thing she said," Tawny reminded.

"I couldn't understand that last thing she said," Laura admitted through her persistent tears.

Tawny nodded.

"I know...she slipped up. She couldn't help it. I could tell that she was trying so hard, but she couldn't keep the words straight. I know she got confused with the language, but I'm positive that she was sure of the message. She and I...we both grew up without our mothers. We both knew what it felt like. She knew what she was asking of you because more than anything she didn't want her children to know that empty feeling."

"You understood her, Tawny?" Ellen asked.

The doctor took a staggering breath and at wiped her wet cheeks.

"You heard her say 'I'm glad that you're my mother'...What she followed with was "Please be a mother to my children.'"

Tawny looked down to her feet. The epic stream of explanations and descriptions was wearing her down. Watching Katya's parents go through so many emotions, each more painful than the next, was exhausting. She couldn't even look at Ellen and Laura after her translation. She couldn't watch the utter devastation develop on their faces.

"I know that this is all suddenly being thrown at you," She sighed once she finally gathered the strength to glance up. "I know that you all need time to grieve, but you're going to have to do it while figuring out how to take care of two innocent babies. Katya and Alexi were visiting this lab every chance that they got. They spoke to Liam and Sasha all the time. Alexi would hum little songs. Kat would read to them. The twins heard the loving voices of their parents on a regular basis. Believe it or not they are going to miss it. More than that they need it. They need it to grow and to thrive. It's so important for babies in these chambers to hear the voices of their loved ones. If they were still in the womb they would constantly hear their mother's voice and the voices of everyone she interacted with. In the chamber, without visitors all they have is a false replica of Katya's heartbeat that we stream into the tank."

"Her heartbeat?" Laura asked.
Her voice was mostly gone and she struggled to get any volume.

"Yes," Tawny answered with a nod.

"Advancement in artificial womb chambers has come a long way in the last twenty years or so since Katya was in one herself. The heartbeat feature wasn't used back then."

Tawny's explanation made Laura think of a baby Katya all alone in her own gestational tank years ago. Unlike in the Estuary Katya was the only baby in the cold military laboratory. It was a small comfort that Sasha and Liam seemed to be in a far more comforting setting.

"Nowadays we do all that we can to ensure that artificially gestated babies are not isolated or lonely," Tawny noted. "It's an important part of the process. It's all the more reason why someone needs to step up and do what Katya and Alexi can't and it has to be right away. I can't tell you exactly what should happen or how to go about it. You are going to have to figure out that part amongst yourselves. As the legal executor of Katya and Alexi's will I'm their children's default guardian now that Margot is gone. I can sign over Liam and Sasha's care to you in whatever way you decide, but until then I'll be responsible for making all medical decisions for them…If you should refuse to care for them then it will be left up to me. Believe me; I would do my best, but these children deserve more. Katya and Alexi were both orphans at one time. They knew what that felt like. They were nervous about becoming parents, but they were so happy knowing that their children would have a mother and father to love them. That comforting reality has just been taken away from these babies. It's up to you to give it back to them."

It was quiet for a moment, the silence only peppered with involuntary sniffs and whimpers here and there.

"If you all could try to remember your childhoods," Tawny desperately proposed. "I know that they were so very long ago, but please try. Try and remember a moment when you cried out for your mother because you were scared, sick, or hurt. Now imagine wanting her so badly and knowing that she isn't coming no matter how much you need her. I knew that awful feeling for most of my life. Kat dealt with it for the first seven years of her's. Please, Ellen, Laura...don't let these children know what that feels like. Please."

Tawny's appeal left both women wracked with soft sobs and unable to answer.

"Doctor," Bill finally said, "The twins' test results…are they…"

"Once they were strong enough we ran every test possible," Tawny interjected. "While the twins do have some interesting peculiarities to the makeup of their DNA they are completely healthy as far as we can tell," She announced. A collective sigh of relief came from the small group. "Laura, Kat was so looking forward to telling you about Sasha's genetic testing. It showed that she didn't inherit the BRCA1 mutation."

"Excuse me?" Laura questioned.

"It's the gene mutation that makes the woman in your family so prone to developing aggressive forms of breast cancer. It wasn't passed down this time. Sasha doesn't have it."

Laura's eyes immediately went to the tiny little girl and she inhaled so sharply that it felt like there were knives in her sternum. She let the air out as a string of uncontrollable grateful sobs as Bill rubbed at her shuttering shoulders.

"Kat and Lex received the twins' results just recently. Right before the New Year," Tawny soldered on. "It was all good news. That was it. They planned to announce their birth at New Year's day dinner. You all know how that went. The system was attacked. Kat and Alexi reported for duty. Laura announced her revelation before morning came. It's been chaos ever since. There hasn't been an appropriate time."

"Doc…" Sam said breaking his long silence.

His eyes were narrow and focused on something just beyond where Tawny stood. He hardly noticed whether or not anyone was angry that he was still there. He didn't care. It was where he wanted to be.

"Yeah, Anders?"

"Beside the tank…in that compartment, the little pile of…stuff…"

"Oh."

Tawny turned to the cluster of items that had gotten Sam's attention. It was all set aside in the small cubicle of space between the tank and its neighboring chamber. Tawny selected something from the mix; a soft and worn stuffed animal. She turned and held it up in display.

"Casey," Saul said when he noticed what Tawny had in her hand.

At the sound of the toy's name Sam felt as if his brain had suddenly filled with static electricity

"What did you say?" He questioned, but Saul wouldn't even look at him.

"It's Casey," Ellen reiterated. "That's Katya's stuffed bear from when she was little. Vladi gave it to her. It was one of his little presents. One that actually made sense. It was special to her. She asked me to find it for her not long ago. What's it doing here?"

Tawny sighed and rolled her watery eyes. When would it be over? They were getting into the parts that she just didn't quite understand. She couldn't be expected to keep up with the explanations.

"Kat claimed that Vladi could sense her pregnancy. I don't know how. I really have no idea how she ever communicated with him…I'm not sure I'm even explaining this well…but she insisted that Vladi wanted her to bring the bear to the babies after they were born. So she did. If you look around the lab many of the occupied tanks have little tokens of affection left beside them by parents. Some leave rattles, some leave little shoes that they hope their babies will one day wear. The babies can't see any of it of course, but it's therapeutic for the families. Their children are in this lab for weeks or months on end. Even though they are well taken care of this facility lacks the comforts of home. Bringing special little things like this helps it feel more like a nursery."

"Casey?" Anders repeated, his speech strained with emotion. "Frak. She named her bear Casey?"

"Yes, Sam," Ellen confirmed with more than a little annoyance.

"When?"

Ellen shrugged and huffed.

"When she was seven, maybe eight."

Sam's heart swelled and he wept over the last little sign that she had left him.

"What's the big deal?" Saul griped.

Sam shook his head. He wouldn't explain it. He couldn't. It wouldn't matter to them anyway.

Tawny gave Sam a small reassuring smile. She didn't truly understand the complex connection that he had with Katya, but she let him know that he had her condolences and compassion anyway.

"What else did they bring, Doctor?" Bill asked.

Tawny returned the bear and grabbed something else from the pile.

"This little model of Kat's ship," She said holding up the plastic toy. "I know that these things might seem silly, but it makes parents feel better. It's just a gesture of love. Just little…gifts."

Gifts, Laura considered. As she took in Tawny's explanation she had a thought. Taking a deep tremulous breath she reached into the pocket of her sweater unsure if she would even find what she was looking for. They had left the cabin so early in the morning that she couldn't even recall if she'd taken it with her. For a moment she panicked, afraid that it might have gotten lost in all of the day's commotion. When her fingers touched the smooth little object she was immediately relieved. She clutched it within her fist and lost the useless battle to retain anymore tears. She pulled it out and opened her palm to reveal the tiny matryoshka. In Laura's hand sat the smallest inner piece of Katya's cherished nesting dolls painted like a swaddled baby. Katya had given it to her months ago. To Laura it was a symbol of hope; it was a gesture of forgiveness and a symbol of an undeniable bond. It was the very first gift that Katya had ever given her, and as she glanced up from the toy to the precious contents of the tank she realized that she was now looking upon the very last.

Laura walked to the tank and put the tiny doll beside the bear and rocket, adding it to the twins' pile of trinkets. Though Laura's heart was in pieces she smiled.

"You said that they can hear her heartbeat?" She asked the doctor.

"Hear it and feel it," Tawny confirmed. "Before birth we record the pulse rhythm of all new moms and set the chambers to vibrate in accordance with it. If you put your hand to the glass you can feel it too."

Laura's breath hitched at the thought. If she just reached her hand out she could feel her child's heartbeat.

"May I?" She asked in a whisper.

Tawny nodded.

After a moment of hesitation Laura pressed her quivering palm against the warm smooth glass. She closed her eyes and focused. Within a few short seconds she felt it; the steady beat of her daughter's heart. Laura's tears ran freely and she immediately turned and motioned for Ellen to join her.

Ellen quickly came over. She stood by Laura and added her eager hand to the glass. She felt the beat instantly. After it had drummed beneath her fingers for a few seconds she started to feel as though her sobs had actually taken on its rhythm. Saul soon joined them and then Bill too until all four of them stood with their hands resting upon the twins' chamber.

As Tawny watched them a long breath escaped her lungs. Her shoulders slumped, letting go of some of the tension that she had been holding inside. She was so tired. She had lost her friends. She had lost the closest thing she had to a sister. She had given her all to save a life and her all hadn't been good enough. Katya had given her one final task. Again she'd tried her best and given it everything she had. She just hoped that this time she had succeeded.

"Doc," Sam whispered.

"Hm?" She said dabbing at her sore and weary eyes.

"C'mon. Let's give them some space. I think you can consider your mission accomplished."

***
continued in next chapter due to space

Chapter Text

***
LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

Within days the military had troops on the surface of Earth cleaning up bot bodies and evaluating the land in every former sector. Kaplan had sent down a recon team to find D'Anna as soon as it was safe, but they couldn't track her. For some reason neither her cuff nor Margot's was emitting an identifiable signal any longer. The team used the coordinates where Bill and Helo had left her to conduct a search of the surrounding areas within a ten mile radius. There was no feasible way that D'Anna could have gotten any further on foot in the amount of time that she'd been on the planet and yet the search turned up nothing. They found no grave site where the cylon women could have buried her daughter's body. They found no sign of them at all. As strange as it was somehow Bill and Helo weren't surprised. D'Anna had told them not to send anyone. She didn't want to be found.

Saul had once left the Three on a desolate Earth to die. He supposed that was what she'd chosen once again, but this time he took solace in knowing that she hadn't been alone.

So many soldiers were lost in the final battle for freedom. There were many memorials held on each station. Most of them were done in large groups either by squadron or platoon, but on Alpha Cmdr. Kaplan arranged for a special service to be held to honor the four lost descendants. He knew that it was the least that he could do on behalf of the very government who had created them to begin with. Katya, Blaze, Alexi, and Margot were born to serve and that was what they had done. Kaplan wanted to commemorate their strangely special lives.

The service was so heavily attended that it had to be held on a hanger deck. Images of each one of them in full military dress were projected on the bulkhead behind the commander as he spoke. On a small table by the podium sat three urns containing the remains of Katya, Alexi and Blaze. Beside the urns a small bundle of peach roses from Beta Station sat in a matching vase taking the place of Margot's ashes.

Tawny attempted to read a speech, but she couldn't make it through what she had written. Her father took her place and read her speech as she sat down by Sam's side.

Kaplan presented the Agathons with Blaze's memorial Earth Orbit flag.

Though both Sam and Dr. Le Blanc were in attendance it was decided that Margot's flag would be presented to the Tighs along with Alexi's.

Saul and Ellen graciously allowed Bill and Laura to accept Katya's.

When the service ended the Tighs took Alexi and Katya's ashes and handed Margot's memorial flag over to Sydra. The young doctor had clutched it to her broken heart and nodded to them in solemn thanks. The Tighs then gave Sam and Dr. Le Blanc each a rose from Margot's symbolic little bundle. The gesture was more than either of them knew they deserved.

Karl and Sharon went back to their cabin with their son's urn. The Tighs did the same with Katya's and Alexi's.

No further plans had been made for any of the remains. The couples could hardly speak to each other let alone make arrangements for their children's final resting place.

As the system's memorials passed the mood and morale within Orbit quickly improved. The people were free. There were already plans in the works to get part of the civilian population down to the surface. There was hope and joy in the air and a sense of a new beginning.
The feeling however, was not shared by everyone. Within the first two weeks after the loss of their son Helo and Athena kept mostly to themselves. No one expected them to return to duty, though Kaplan was fully willing to accept their service if they ever changed their minds. The couple was rarely seen outside of their own quarters.

No longer under the thumb of security restrictions Anders spent most of his nights with Tawny. If he wasn't at her cabin she was at his. On nights that she worked late he stayed up waiting for her and kept her meals hot. They shared memories and helped one another grieve.

Saul had quickly made the decision to move Bill and Laura to the cabin next door. It was hardly talked about. One day their belongings were just relocated to their new quarters. Saul knew that soon the close proximity would be necessary and that Bill and Laura needed a bigger place. Their old cabin simply had no room for a baby.

It made sense for the couples to live next to one another. When Sasha and Liam came home they wanted them to be as close together as possible.

Though Saul and Bill were both devastated over the loss of their daughter their grief took a backseat to the utter depression their wives were experiencing. The loss had emotionally crippled both Ellen and Laura.

They hardly slept. They couldn't eat. Both of them lost weight that they couldn't afford to lose. Tawny had to put the both of them on nutritional supplements just to keep them nourished and even those were hard to get them to take.

Ellen was eventually prescribed antidepressants and anti-anxiety medication by Dr. Xao.

When Bill brought Laura to the infirmary with symptoms of dehydration and exhaustion for the second time in a single week the doctor sent her home with a bottle of heavy sleeping pills. She quickly lost the ability to fall to sleep without them.

Despite their poor physical and emotional health both Laura and Ellen had started to visit the Estuary on a regular basis. It was so difficult just to pull themselves together enough to make it down there, but they did so as often as they could. They found it was really the only thing that helped them to go on. If one couldn't make it the other went. If neither could go they sent Bill or Saul. At least one day a week all four of them went together for fetal update meeting and progress report with the Estuary doctors and lab staff. They made sure that there wasn't a day that went by where the twins didn't have at least one visitor. The nursery became a home away from home. It became an escape. If either Laura or Ellen missed more than a couple of days in a row they became almost despondent. They needed the visceral reminder of what they were still living for. The twins quickly became their lifeline.

Around the third week of Orbit freedom Bill and Saul returned to duty in a minimal capacity as part of a transition team. The more time that Laura and Ellen spent away in the nursery the more Bill and Saul felt the need for distraction. They both still wanted to be of use. They wanted the transition of the people down to Earth to be a success so that their child's death and the deaths of so many others would not be vain. They were military men. They didn't know how to do anything else other than work through their pain. Much like their wives they too found themselves easily overcome with grief when they didn't keep busy enough. Saul and Bill began to report to duty in the early morning hours and alternated turns checking in on the reclusive Agathons in the afternoons.

In their husbands' absence, strangely enough, Ellen and Laura began to take care of each other.

An unspoken routine had inadvertently developed between them. Once Laura rose from her nearly comatose medicated sleep she would shower, dress and make her way next door to get Ellen. The two of them preferred to walk to the nursery, but there were many days that they simply didn't have the energy. On those days Ellen would arrange for a shuttle cart to take them.

Ellen and Laura spent all day watching the twins. They stared, they cried, they checked the babies' vital signs over and over. Now and then they would indulge themselves and feel the tank for Katya's constant heartbeat. They both knew that once the twins were taken out of the chamber they would never feel the rhythm again.

During the firsts few weeks their visits were quiet. They couldn't yet bring themselves to talk to Liam or Sasha. It was all that they could do just to get themselves there.

Some days were worse than others and on the worst of those days sometimes one or both of them were still too stricken to make it to the Estuary. The last day of the fourth week after Katya's death was one of those days.

Laura listlessly emerged from her morning shower as her cuff began to buzz. It was a call from Saul.

"Laura, did you make it over to my place yet?" He asked.

"Not yet. I'm running a little…slow today. Why?"

"I've been trying to get a hold of Ellen. She isn't answering my messages or calls. When I left this morning I said goodbye…She didn't answer me. I just have a weird feeling. I'm gunna head home."

Laura rolled her eyes.

"No, Saul. Don't do that yet. I'll head over now."

"Thanks, Laura."

"Mmhmm. I'll let you know."

Laura halfway dried her hair and threw on some clothes. She didn't rush. She was fairly certain that she knew what was going on.

When she made it to the Tighs' hatch she knocked a few times but there was no answer.

"Ellen, it's Laura," She called.

When her greeting went unanswered she huffed in frustration. Laura no longer had patience to spare. She lost her temper frequently; with Bill, with doctors, with anyone who tested her limits or dared to tell her something that she didn't want to hear. Being called to check on Ellen wasn't an unusual occurrence anymore and Laura just didn't feel like dealing with it so early in the morning.

Saul had arranged it so that they were all given access to each other's cabins. He figured that soon it would be a necessity. After one more verbal warning Laura ran her cuff over the hatch panel and let herself in.

When she entered and scanned the Tigh's cabin she found a dismal mess. It was such a different scene from the tidy and homey space it had once been. As Laura looked around the living area she saw empty glasses on every countertop and table. There were a few open liquor bottles here and there, though none with enough booze left to make a decent drink. There were clothes and shoes strewn about, left wherever they fell. By the sofa sat a few stacks of crates filled with things from Katya and Alexi's cabin. Their quarters had already been reassigned. No one could bring themselves to go through their belongings yet so they sat there like an inconvenient monument. Laura supposed that the mess hadn't accumulated overnight, but it was the first time that she'd really noticed the extent of it. When she was at the Tigh's she usually tried not to look around. The walls projected so many photos of her daughter's face that she couldn't yet bear to see. The cabin had fallen into disarray and she'd simply ignored it. A look toward the kitchen showed it to be the only clean space and Laura knew that was only because it was hardly used anymore. Gone were the days of Tigh family dinners. As if the sight of the desolate kitchen wasn't bad enough Laura immediately regretted even looking its general direction. Beside it the door to Katya's old room had been left opened with the light on. Ellen had no doubt wandered in and out of there in a less than sober state to smell the pillows or something of the sort. When Laura saw the open door she let out a sudden involuntary whimper. She quickly covered her mouth with her hand to muffle any more sounds that might escape her lips. She felt her eyes start to water so she bit down hard on the fleshy part of her palm as a distraction. She was there for a reason. Forcing her eyes from her daughter's childhood room Laura continued deeper into the cabin.

"Ellen? You didn't answer so I let myself in. Ellen?"

There was still no reply. With a sigh she decided to let herself into the bedroom.

The dimly lit room was in much the same state as the rest of the cabin. Ellen's bras hung all over the place as if they were meant to be ornamental. There were more empty glasses here and there and yet another empty handle of booze. A pile of Ellen's heels had formed in the corner, mere inches from where they belonged in the closet. In the center of the mess a large unmoving lump lay under the rack's comforter.

"Ellen?"

On the shelf above the bed sat some uncapped pill bottles and a glass of what Laura hoped was water.

"Ellen, wake up," She said again as she moved a little closer to the bed.

When the lump under the blankets shifted and gave a low moaning reply the small part of Laura that had been worried finally relaxed. She made her way to the side of the bed and reached for one of the pill bottles on the shelf.

"Are you getting up?" She asked as she read the label on the bottle.

Take one in the event of anxiety attack, it instructed. She returned it and picked up the other. She could hardly sound out the name of the second medication, but the label indicated that it was for the treatment of depression, prescribed to be taken twice a day. As Laura put the pills back on the shelf she wondered why Xao had simply chosen to tranquilize her at night instead of prescribing something similar to what Ellen was on. Perhaps he thought of her as a more hopeless case. Maybe he figured that she was better off sleeping. She sure felt that way most of the time.

"Ellen."

Laura reached for the half empty glass and hesitantly gave it a sniff. She was relieved when she found that it was indeed only water, but she was sure that Ellen had at least some booze in her system. She returned the glass to its spot on the shelf.

"Ellen, get up."

A groan came from under the covers.

"Damn it, Ellen," Laura said as she grabbed the corner of the quilt and yanked it down.

Ellen winced and curled into herself as if she'd been greeted by rays of an early morning sun instead of the dull amber cabin light.

"Saul is worried," Laura told her. "He's been trying to get a hold of you. Just frakking message him that you're alright."

Ellen cringed and cracked open an eye.

"Can't," She chirped. "The room is still spinning."

Laura huffed and picked up one of the pill bottles again to look for side effects.

"How many of these did you take?" She asked searching for the proper dosage.

"It wasn't my fault," Ellen whined.

"No?"

Laura rattled the bottle for effect.

"I took my medication just like Xao said to," Ellen moaned into the mattress. "I followed the instructions."

"And were you drinking?"

"Of course I was," Ellen answered in exasperation as if it were an absurd and pointless question. "But I can handle that. That's not it. I took one and then fell to sleep. I woke up later from an awful dream…I couldn't calm down. I couldn't stop shaking. I took another. I guess it was too soon for a second dose. I got back in bed and by the time Saul got up a while later my head was swimming. I didn't say anything to him. I didn't want him to worry any more than he already does. I pretended to be asleep. Ughh gods, Laura. I feel so sick."

Ellen closed her eyes tight and covered her forehead with her hand.

"It's 0800," Laura said as she stood by the bed with crossed arms. "I was about to come get you so we could head to the lab right before Saul called me."

"Damn it," Ellen grouced taking her hand away from her eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm coming."

She took in a hissing breath and attempted to slowly lean up.

"Here, let me help you," Laura offered.

She braced Ellen's back and gently pushed her into an upright position.

Sitting up only made Ellen feel worse. The blood drained from her cheeks. She covered her face with her hands and tried to take a few calming breaths, but it was no use. She felt like she was on a pitiful little paddle boat in the middle of a great swelling ocean instead of on her sturdy rack within the motionless cabin.

Laura shook her head at the sight.

"Ellen, you're in no shape to go. I'll go alone today. You rest. Sleep this off."

"Oh noI'm going," She began to protest. "I want to go. I'm not gunna miss…I'm not gunna…I'm not…" She stammered as her stomach churned and rolled. "I'm gunna be sick."

There was no time between Ellen's warning and when she doubled over and vomited onto the sheets over her own lap.

Laura quickly gathered Ellen's hair back and held it out of the way as she heaved a second and a third time. When it seemed that nothing else was going to come up Ellen covered her face with her hands.

"All done?" Laura asked as she gently rubbed at the other woman's back.

Ellen gave a slight nod in response.

Laura reached up for the glass of water that was sitting on the shelf.

"Small sips," She instructed as she held the glass in front of Ellen's face.

Ellen accepted it and took the smallest sip she could manage. Just the thought of the room temperature water was making her feel ill. She swallowed and then attempted a calming breath that wound up burning her throat instead of soothing it.

Laura took the glass from Ellen's unsteady grasp and returned it to the shelf.

"You have to stay here today, Ellen. You can't go anywhere in the shape you're in."

Ellen's eyes watered and she shook her head.

"I have to go, Laura. I have to. You know I have to. Life hurts too much without seeing what I'm living for every day. I have to."

Laura had nothing to debate Ellen's lamenting with. She was right, after all. Life had become painful.

Laura nodded and stood from the side of the bed with a sigh. She carefully pulled the soiled sheets from Ellen's lap and gathered them at the foot of the bed. She turned back to Ellen's hunched form and held her hands out in an offer of assistance. Slowly but surely Ellen stood with Laura's help and they began to walk together toward the head.

Once they made it Laura opened the door and turned on the light before ushering Ellen inside.

Ellen held on to both of Laura's steady hands as she slowly sunk to her knees on to the bathmat in front of the toilet.

When Ellen was safely on the floor Laura released her grip and turned to open a cabinet to retrieve a clean washcloth. She turned on the sink and soaked it with cool water before wringing it out and handing it down to Ellen.

"Wash up," She told her.

Ellen took the washcloth with a shaky hand. Most of her unsteadiness was due to her mild overdose, but part of her hesitance, she recognized, was a reaction to the unfamiliarity of Laura's recent caretaking. It wasn't the other woman's compassion that gave her pause. It was the unexpected ease and natural fluidity of each gesture that seemed so strange, and the feeling was mutual. Ellen knew that Laura was just as taken aback by their recent dynamic. As they suffered together they each seemed to recognize what the other needed at all times. Though their new bond had developed innately without conscious effort, neither of them was quite used to it yet. In the not so distant past they had been at each other's throats. Now they depended on one another's solicitude. Only in each other's presence did they feel true empathy. Neither one felt ashamed, embarrassed or burdensome to the other as they did around everyone else.

It wasn't a friendship. They hadn't formed a pleasant camaraderie over shared interests and appreciation of each other's personalities. It was the all-consuming pain of shared loss and their new joint responsibility that had brought them together.

"Be careful. I'll be right out here," Laura said as she left Ellen on the bathroom floor clutching the cool cloth.

When the door clicked shut Ellen covered her face with the damp fabric and began to cry. She did it every morning. It had become a daily purging of her tears that had built up over night. Usually she did it under the warm spray of the showerhead, but for the day a cool wet rag would have to do.

Laura wasn't surprised when she heard Ellen's cries coming from the other side of the door. She'd expected them, in fact. Deciding that Ellen would be fine on the floor for a while Laura left for the kitchen. She wanted to allow Ellen space to cry in relative privacy. She messaged Saul to ease his worry and then went about making herself useful.

Ellen cried in the head until her throat ached and her ears popped. It was all part of her routine. She couldn't start the day without releasing at least some of her anguish.

Not long after her morning sobs subsided she heard a knock.

Without waiting for a response Laura opened the door and reached in to offer a cold bottle of water. When Ellen took it Laura left again without a word.

Ellen took a few grateful sips of the refreshing liquid before attempting to stand. Once on her feet she found that her dizziness had diminished quite a bit. Using the sink as her safety rail Ellen washed her face and brushed the bitter sick taste out of her mouth to the best of her ability. She then took off her pajamas and kicked the little pile of discarded clothing out of the way. Just the menial task of disrobing had brought on a wave of sudden exhaustion. Ellen looked into the mirror and sighed. She wasn't nearly as dizzy as she had been before, but she knew that Laura was right. She was no in no shape to visit the lab and she hated herself for it. She'd done it to herself. Now her reckless actions were keeping her from the one thing that usually stopped her from becoming so self-destructive in the first place. She was a mess and it wasn't fair to the twins. She was going to miss another precious day with them. Her only comfort was that Laura would be there for them.

Ellen took her robe from the hook on the back of the door and slipped it on before leaving the head.

In the bedroom she found that Laura had stripped the rack and was now bent over the mattress tucking in a fresh set of clean sheets.

"You didn't have to do that, Laura."

Laura gave a short dismissive hum.

"I put the dirty sheets and the quilt out with the rest of your laundry and sent a request for pickup," She said as she continued to work.

Ellen looked around the bedroom and found that all of the little piles of clothes had been picked up along with her haphazardly discarded bras and shoes.

The half dozen empty glasses that had littered every available surface had also been cleared.

"Thank you," She said softly.

She hadn't realized how bad it had gotten until half of it was gone.

Laura nodded.

Finished with her task she finally glanced up to face Ellen. She looked her up and down. Her hair was still uncombed and her eyes were still glossy red. She'd managed to take off her rumpled nightgown, but she'd just replaced it with a wrinkled satin robe that was cinched together with a sloppy sash. She didn't seem to be heading for the dresser or the closet.

Ellen knew Laura was assessing her appearance. The other woman's expression was telling her what she already knew; she couldn't go to the nursery. She gave Laura a conciliatory nod and her eyes watered as she spoke.
"It's not getting any easier to wake up in the morning," Ellen said with a shrug.

"I know," Laura plainly agreed.

"Bill keeps saying it's going to get easier," Ellen winced.

Laura nodded again.

"I know."

She took a few steps forward and reached her hand out for Ellen to take. She helped her back onto the bed and then crouched down to pull a clean quilt from under the rack. She shook it out and then draped it over Ellen's body.

Under the covers Ellen quickly rolled to her side and curled into the same position that she'd been found in.

Laura went to the wall control and swiped off the lights leaving the room dark except for the small night-light that sat atop the dresser.

"Will you take some pictures once you get there and send them to me?" Ellen asked from under the blankets.

"No," Laura answered with a shake of her head as she returned to the side of the bed.

Ellen pressed her face into the cool pillow and cringed. She knew that Laura had to be angry with her. She'd gotten herself into this state. She'd been careless and reckless once again and now she was neglecting the immense responsibilities that they shared. Laura was punishing her like a child that needed to learn a lesson. There had been a time when Ellen would have fought back and defended herself. Now she felt like she deserved every bit of it.

"Please just let me know how they're doing once you get there?" She pitifully appealed. "Just message me their vitals for the morning? Please? Liam had hiccups yesterday and..."

"You'll see them for yourself when we go together this afternoon," Laura interrupted.

"Huh?"

Ellen's dense response caused Laura to give her a dark smirk.

"Scoot over," She instructed, echoing a time when Katya had asked her to do the same.

When Ellen just squinted in confusion Laura rolled her eyes.

"You'll nap for a few hours, you'll sleep this off. I'll be right here if you feel sick again. Now scoot over."

Ellen hesitated for only a moment before closing her mouth and inching over into Saul's spot.

Laura kicked off her shoes and lifted the covers. She slipped into the freshly made bed and settled beside Ellen.

"I'll set an alarm so we don't sleep the day away," Laura assured as she looked to her wrist and set the timer on her cuff.

She yawned and then dropped her arm heavily back down to her side. She was exhausted herself. It was so hard to for her to gather the will to get out of bed each morning. When Xao decided to put her on the sleeping pills it became even worse. They induced a deep, empty, dreamless sleep and sometimes when her morning alarm rang she felt as if she had to wrench herself back out of the dark abyss. She was glad to be rid of her nightmares, but somehow the emptiness of the void scared her too. Though the medication made her drowsy during the day Laura couldn't fall to sleep at night without it. Once she was in bed she was haunted by a thousand uncontrollable thoughts. No matter how tired and drained she felt during the day the pills were necessary when night came. She needed the extra rest and Ellen needed time to recover. They would make it to the nursery to see Sasha and Liam by noon, together, for better or worse.

"Just close your eyes for a while, Ellen. I'll make sure that we get there...It'll be okay."

Ellen curled into a ball and quietly cried herself back to sleep by Laura's side.

There were many mornings like that during the first two months. It would happen at least a time or two a week and it wasn't always Ellen who needed the help. There were several instances where Laura was the one who needed to be dragged out of bed and shoved into a cold shower to wake her from a deep drug induced sleep.

One morning Ellen found herself lacking the physical strength to haul Laura's limp body on her own. She employed the help of a centurion to lift and carry her into the head. Laura woke up screaming in the machine's cold chrome arms. After that she made Ellen swear that she would never do it again. Ellen knew that if it had been Vladi Laura wouldn't have been afraid.

From then on they didn't involve anyone else in their morning troubles, centurion or otherwise, unless a true emergency arose.

They kept the more embarrassing events mostly to themselves. Saul and Bill witnessed plenty of unfortunate instances by chance, but Ellen and Laura never intentionally exposed one another's mistakes or mishaps. Their husbands worried enough already and with good reason.

Both women had experienced a noticeable decline in mental and physical health after losing Katya. Everyone knew that it was severe depression, but aside from medicating them there was little to be done. They both refused counseling and their codependency on each other continued to deepen. The more Ellen let herself see Katya within Laura the more she wanted her close by. Sometimes when she closed her eyes and held onto Laura's hand it felt just like she was holding on to Kat's. There were a handful of bad nights when Laura had to stay at Ellen's bedside, relegating Saul to the sofa, just so that she could hold her hand for comfort until she calmed down enough to sleep.

Laura's temperament grew cross and angry with everyone except Ellen. It seemed like the only compassion or empathy she had left to give was reserved for a woman she once couldn't stand. Though Bill tried to be understanding there were times he felt pushed aside.

"Don't go," He told her one late night after Saul had called for the third time that week asking for help with Ellen. "You're in no shape to give up sleep, Laura. You're going to wind up back in Med Ward. This has to stop. You run over there way too much. Let Saul deal with her this time," He'd complained as he sat up in their bed that she'd just all but leaped out of.

"Don't tell me what to do, Bill," She'd muttered, while looking for her slippers and robe to take nextdoor.

"Fine," Bill huffed in frustration. "Then I'm asking you not to go. I need you too, damn it."

His request failed to provoke the response he'd hoped for and Laura turned to him with eyes as sharp as daggers.

"That woman raised our child," She fumed in return. "She took care of her every time she was sick or scared or afraid. She comforted her, held her, and loved her when I couldn't. Ellen never left Katya to suffer alone. Never. So don't you dare, don't you ever dare ask me not to do the same for her," She'd ended before swiftly leaving their room and then the cabin.

Laura didn't return home until morning and Bill never asked her to ignore Ellen ever again. He just had to hope that the two women would eventually need each other less and less so that one day he and Laura might actually be able to start grieving together as husband and wife.

Bill and Saul worried about what would happen when the babies came home. They hoped at least one of their wives would be able to pull themselves together enough to help take care of two newborns, but it seemed doubtful. They resigned themselves to the fact that they might very well have to give up their active roles within the Orbit-to-Earth transition team to stay home full time.

They had a few conversations about hiring a nurse or a nanny. They hated to do it. They knew that Katya would be so disappointed, but it wasn't as if Laura and Ellen could be forced to take care of themselves. No matter how much Saul and Bill encouraged their wives they just couldn't motivate them enough to make a difference. It was Tawny who eventually came up with the plan that actually worked to get both women back on the right track.

The end of the twins twenty-eighth gestational week marked what would have been the beginning of their birthmother's third trimester. It was a milestone for Sasha and Liam, one that greatly increased their chances of a normal healthy survival. A weekly meeting was held in the Estuary with both couples in attendance as usual. When the rest of the lab staff was finished with their updates Tawny dismissed them so that the remainder of the meeting could be conducted in relative privacy.

"I have some concerns," Tawny stated after Saul rudely asked why she was lingering.

"You just said that they were doing great," The Colonel scowled.

Tawny shook her head.

"Not about the twins," She corrected.

"Then what?" Bill inquired.

Tawny avoided both men and turned to where their wives hovered quietly by the precious chamber. She eyed them both. Laura's favorite sweater that had once nicely suited her figure now hung loosely off of her bony shoulders. Ellen's complexion, which had always been naturally bright, was now pale and marred with under-eye circles so dark they were starting to look like bruises. Tawny was through second guessing her suggestion. She knew that her idea might not be well received at first but she had to try.

"You two," She said getting the women's attentions. "You both need to start taking better care of yourselves if you're actually going to take care of these babies."

Tawny kept her stance stern and her expression serious. She needed to convey the gravity of the matter once and for all. They were running out of time.

Ellen and Laura instinctively glanced up at each other before looking back at the twins. For a moment Tawny thought that they had jointly decided to ignore her but then Ellen spoke.

"We'll be fine," She told the doctor without bothering to look up. Instead she kept her focus on Liam's fidgeting little feet and drummed her fingertips against the smooth warm glass. "When the time comes we'll be okay," She dully added.

Laura made no attempt to comment though Tawny thought that she appeared to be a bit embarrassed.

"You need to start now," The doctor firmly countered. "They will be out in just twelve short weeks and hopefully home in less than two weeks after that."

"The colonel and I will be around to help," Bill interjected.

Tawny rolled her eyes and ignored the Admiral's comment. It was Ellen and Laura she needed to get through to.

"I'll remind you both once again how I swore to Katya on her deathbed that I would make sure that her children had everything they needed."

"They will," Saul answered, even though Tawny wasn't addressing him. "We'll make damn sure of it."

"That's the problem," Tawny said in exasperation. "You and Admiral Adama can't keep policing this family. Ellen and Laura need to start doing their part and that means taking care of themselves without having their hands held. Why should I trust either one of them to care for a high-needs infant when they constantly need their husbands to remind them to drink enough damn water during the day?"

"Gods, Tawny. Give it a rest," Ellen said with a tedious sigh of annoyance and a shake of her head. "It will be different once they're out. Until then just let us be."

"We're going to work together," Bill attempted. "We are all up for it. I assure you."

Tawny licked her lips and tried to keep her patience.

"Admiral, I'm aware that you've already raised two children, but that was a lifetime ago. Please remember how physically and emotionally demanding it can be," She told him before turning her attentions back to Ellen and Laura. "I understand that you are still grieving, ladies, but the self-neglect has to stop. I need you to start eating well and sleeping regularly. Pretty soon you won't have the time."

When both women remained stubbornly silent Saul answered for them again.

"We'll see that they do."

Tawny was getting fed up.

"Colonel, Admiral, with all due respect I'd like to hear from your wives," She curtly told them. "You know, Ellen, Laura, you two manage to drag your ragged hides here almost every day. You stay for hours on end and just stare. I see your dedication, but it just isn't the most productive way to help the twins."

Ellen knew that Tawny wasn't interested in hearing another line from Saul or Bill. The frustration in the doctor's voice was obvious. If Katya hadn't entrusted her friend with ensuring the health and safety of her children's future then Ellen wouldn't have felt as obligated to make another weak attempt at defense.

"It's not as if we haven't prepared," She said with a shrug. "Bill and Laura moved next door. We ordered baby clothes and blankets. We had cribs made. We're doing what we need to do."

Tawny tilted her head to the side as she listened to Ellen's lackluster argument.

"That's all fine and necessary, but would you please each consider some other ways to be more proactive mothers?" She posed.

"She's trying to tell us that we're already failing at this," Laura said aloud in an apathetic tone.

She wasn't angry at the doctor for the accusation. She actually agreed with her.

Tawny's shoulders dropped. She needed to try a different approach. She was speaking to two brilliant women. They knew very well that what they were doing to themselves wasn't for the best. She wasn't telling them anything that they didn't already know. She had to change gears. She needed to encourage them and lift them up instead of berating them. She needed to offer them a way to help themselves and in turn help their newly formed family.

"I'm sorry," She offered. "Look, I don't expect either of you to prepare for the twins' arrival with smiles and laughter. I know that we are all still suffering from a debilitating loss…But letting the grief further affect your health is extremely damaging to everyone involved. There are ways that you both could make a real and very positive impact on the start of the twins' lives if you could just gather the will to be healthy for them."

She watched both sets of eyes start to self-consciously wander around the room.

"If you can't force yourselves to start eating and sleeping better simply for the sake of it being good for you then perhaps you need a more tactile goal. I think that I may have a plan," Tawny finally divulged. "It's something that could benefit your health and wellness and in turn benefit the health and wellness of Sasha and Liam. It's merely a suggestion as a doctor and as a friend, but I've thought a good deal about it lately. I really think you both might find that it makes for a pretty good plan... if you'll agree to hear me out?"

After a long pause Ellen slowly turned her head in a gesture of agreement. Laura followed with a soft nod.

Tawny finally had her opening. Now she just had to be careful not to scare them off.

"Well, obviously your nutrition is going to be an important factor in how well you can care for Sasha and Liam, but their nutrition is also going to be a huge factor in how well they thrive and develop. We want them gaining as much weight as possible during their first few weeks out of the chamber, especially Sasha. At this point we can already tell that she's going to have a clinically low exit weight. As a precaution neither of them will be cleared to go home until they can make it to five pounds. It could take Sasha a while. Anything we can do to help her with that is of the utmost importance," Tawny explained. She paused and waited for some sign of assurance that both women were still listening. A slight rise in Ellen's brow had to suffice. "After the babies were born Katya did her best to mechanically pump and store breastmilk for them. She knew that she would be reporting back to duty shortly after they came home. With there being two of them the staff here advised her that it would be good to have bottles handy for Alexi to help with feedings and to eventually provide the military family daycare room. After their delivery we sent her home with a small rechargeable breastpump and a storage kit. The problem was that she had some issues getting started. Because the twins were so early Katya had a bit of trouble producing milk," Tawny explained to the still blank stares before her. "The premature birth combined with the fact that the babies weren't yet with her nursing skin-to-skin lead to Kat's poor production. To combat the problem and make sure that she was able to nurse them once they were out we put her on a lactation regimen. She was told to use the pump as much as possible and to drink a holistic herbal tea that my Aunt Lian procured." Tawny paused when she saw Ellen crinkle her nose. It wasn't a positive response, but at least it showed that she was listening. Ellen was well acquainted with Lian Xao's holistic teas and remedies, most of which tasted awful. "Anyway," Tawny continued. "It helped and Kat was able to accumulate a small milk supply. Unfortunately with all of the stress that she was under she sort of struggled to keep up with it as well as she wanted to. She did what she could," Tawny defended with a sigh and a shrug. "She or Alexi would bring a few ounces every day or so when they came to visit. We stored the supply here in the lab so it would be safe and ready for Sasha and Liam as soon as they were out, but...well, Estuary protocol dictates that any mother's milk stored and administered within the lab needs to be tested for contaminants," She summarized the nursery rules, letting the last word hang in the air.

"Contaminants?" Laura echoed, grabbing the bait.

Tawny nodded and started to wring at her hands. At least she had their interest, but she knew that she still had to pull off the hard sell.

Though she hated to posthumously throw her friend under the bus by exposing her shortcomings she knew that Katya wouldn't mind if it was for the benefit of her kids.

"Dangerous bacteria or viruses," She clarified. "Or um, harmful drug or alcohol content," She added with small shrug.

"I'm guessing it tested positive for the latter," Laura presumed.

She'd surely seen Katya drinking and smoking over the last few weeks of her life. Hell, she'd done plenty of it with her. The night they'd killed a bottle of vodka together came to mind, not to mention the afternoon they'd spent stoned off of their asses. A new wave of guilt surged through Laura's veins and right into her heart.

"A lot of it did, yes," Tawny regretfully confirmed.

She watched the facial expressions of everyone in attendance change immediately. Their reactions varied from disappointment to plain sadness. Tawny knew what they were thinking in the back of their minds. If Katya had lived, motherhood would have been more than just a new challenge for her. She was young and immature. She drank too much and she could be reckless. She struggled with more than her fair share of impulse control and anger issues. In so many ways she had still been a child herself. Their daughter would have needed so much help with the twins. Watching her deal with such a feat would have been quite difficult for them. Still, Tawny knew that they all wished that she was alive to try.

"Much of her milk has been discarded. I would say that we have about a two or three week supply left for them. They will be fine with synthetic formula unless…" She trailed off.

She'd been wondering just what their reactions would be to her idea since the day she'd first thought of it. Suddenly she was a little hesitant to find out.

"Unless?" Ellen peeved.

"Well…unless you and Laura nurse them."

"What?" Was Laura's curt one word response.

Ellen said nothing but her immediate expression said a lot more.

Tawny chewed at her lip as she tried to gauge both of their reactions.

"We could induce lactation with a regimen of herbs and some medication," She expanded, doing her best to keep a confident and practical tone.
They were all quite for a moment. Tawny could tell that the group was more than skeptical by the looks on their collective faces.

Saul was the first to comment and he was far from sold.

"Lieutenant, I don't mean any offence to these lovely ladies, but neither of them is uh…of the age…let's say," He remarked, earning a scowl from his wife. "Just how the frak are they supposed to manage that? They aren't a couple of cows."

Tawny narrowed her eyes at his insensitive and brutish question.

"With all due respect, Colonel, you could do it if I gave you the right combination of steroids and hormones," She caustically replied causing Saul's brows to rise in surprise and then quickly fall into a perturbed grimace. "It's quite simple to encourage in anyone. Even men, as crazy as it sounds, but it's only logical that the women acting as these infants' mothers should be the ones feeding them."

"Isn't that kind of…strange?" Laura gingerly debated.

Tawny shrugged. She had to do her best to promote the idea without being too pushy.

"It would be better for the twins," She posed. "It's not out of the ordinary for adoptive mothers of newborns to use herbs in order to nurse their babies. The formula is fine but natural is the better way to go."

"Natural?" Saul quipped. "Getting two middle-aged women to nurse their grandchildren?"

Tawny crossed her arms and did her best to resist the urge to hit her superior officer. The Colonel was ruining her petition. She was annoyed. It wasn't his choice anyway. He shouldn't have even be commenting on the subject, but Tawny knew that if she was going to convince either woman to go through with her plan they would both need their husband's support.

"Look," She said rather sharply, "Laura and Ellen aren't raising these kids as their grandchildren. That isn't what Kat asked of them. These women are the only mothers that these children have." Tawny paused, taking a moment to cool down and collect her thoughts. "Maybe it would help if I put things in perspective for you, Colonel Tigh. I know that during your life on the Twelve Colonies the average life expectancy was around eighty five to ninety years. You know very well that it's far beyond that here. Average life expectancy for women in Orbit is currently one hundred and twenty. A lot of our technology has kept up with our longevity. Our advancement in reproductive medicine has made it so women can bear children, with help, well into their fifties. Laura and Ellen shouldn't feel odd or unusual because of their age bracket, which isn't even outside the norm of natural possibility, I should add. There are plenty of birthmothers in Orbit a good five or six years older than them..." Tawny continued to debate. "And honestly their age is completely relative. Laura's body was lab created three decades ago and then aged artificially to your best physical estimation. I can't even give her a definitive age. And Ellen? Well she's been alive for eons. She stopped the aging process on the both of you long ago. She's technically over two hundred thousand years old. Let's worry less about her age and more about her physicality. They are both perfectly able and it would be healthier and more nurturing for their children, if you want my medical opinion," Tawny shrugged before returning her attentions to the women in question. "More than that it will help the both of you bond with these babies. That's so very, very important. The regimen would have to start soon and it would mean that you two would need to start eating and sleeping substantially better immediately. Now it's up to you both individually, but I see only mutual benefits to this scenario."

Though she was looking right at them Ellen and Laura both seemed to be staring into far off space. Tawny suddenly got the feeling that she'd embarrassed them. That wasn't her intention. She was starting to think that her plan had already backfired. Sam was right. Sometimes she was just too practical in her thinking and emotions were hardly ever practical. She briefly considered apologizing.

"What kind of medication?" Ellen surprisingly asked after a minute.

Hearing her interest gave Tawny a glimmer of momentary hope.

"It's a hormone called prolactin," She explained. "If the herbs do their job you would only need a very small dose a few times a week. You could inject it yourself at home or with Colonel Tigh's help. Just until lactation is established. You would need to use a pump daily just like Kat did to actively stimulate production until Liam is out. Once you're actually nursing him the supply should naturally remain active without medication until the baby is weaned, just like any other mom."

Ellen licked her lips in contemplation. Just like any other mom, she thought. For a moment she allowed herself to imagine holding her sweet baby Liam to her breast for comfort and nourishment. Warmth spread through her entire body at the thought of it.

"Are you sure it would work?" She said as she finally looked up.

Tawny nodded.

"I'm fairly certain barring any unforeseen complications. Laura, it might be a little easier for you since your current body hasn't yet entered menopause. Regardless, I don't think either of you will have much trouble if you stick with the regimen," The doctor assured. "But it's going to take more than that. It would mean cutting out the sleeping pills, the anxiety medications and especially the damn drinking. It would mean eating right, putting on some much needed weight, taking in about four-hundred extra calories a day and staying extra hydrated. You would need to start taking vitamins, exercising and getting plenty of sleep."

Ellen felt like a storm was brewing in her brain. It was so much to take in, but she was fully aware of how intrigued she was from the instant that Tawny had said the words out loud.

"I don't know," She demurred.

Tawny took a few steps closer to her and took her hand.

"You're Liam-Daniel's mother now, Ellen," She told her in a soft and gentle voice. She wanted to come off as a long time family friend for a moment instead of a doctor trying to push an agenda. "You don't have to feel ashamed or out of place by doing this. Ages ago back on the surface of the planet when people lived in close-knit villages this sort of thing was extremely common. People hired wet nurses. They lived communally with other female members of their extended family. Women nursed each other's babies as a matter of convenience. Now, if knowing that makes you feel any better that's great, but I don't really think any of that should affect your decision in this. You are Liam's mom. If you want to be his primary source of nourishment then that is perfectly acceptable. It will only strengthen the bond between you and your son," She affirmed. "But if you choose not to then you shouldn't feel bad about that either. We have other options. The synthetic formula will be fine. We could also look into donor milk. You decide what's best for him now, Ellen. This is simply a suggestion and my recommendation as a doctor and as a friend. It's all up to you, but please hear this; no matter what you choose I have to ask that you start doing better for Liam. He's going to need all of your energy and strength soon. You need to start working on building that up. At least give him that."

As Ellen thought hard Laura stood behind her in sheepish silence. She could hardly wrap her head around the concept. She felt completely overwhelmed.

"I want to do it," Ellen suddenly announced causing Laura's brow to rise.

"Good," Tawny smiled. "I really think that's good, Ellen."

"Whatever's best for them," Ellen shrugged, trying to downplay her decision.

She did want what was best for Liam, but what she wouldn't admit out loud was that deep down she was actually grateful for the unexpected opportunity.

"We'll get you started right away, Ellen," Tawny said with a pleased grin. "What do you think, Laura?"

The other woman looked almost frightened. She shook her head at the doctor and struggled to answer.

"I…I don't know," She managed.

"Think about it," Tawny said as casually as she could. "You don't have to let me know right now. No pressure. I want you to know that no matter your decision we will make sure that Sasha gets all the nutrients that she needs. She'll catch up to her brother in time. We'll get her there. I promise. But what I said to Ellen stands for you as well, Laura. No matter what you choose to do, please try and stay healthy for Sasha. She fights every day to get stronger. You can too."

Laura nodded and then looked back down at her feet.

Bill had remained silent on the matter the entire time. He felt out of place even commentating on the delicate subject. He was fully aware that it wasn't his choice.
Once Tawny had the Tighs engrossed in a side conversation over their newly agreed-to plans Bill decided to attempt to speak to Laura in relative privacy. She stood by the tank watching little Sasha sleep. When Bill came up behind her he put his hand to her back and leaned in to kiss her temple.

"Can you share your thoughts with me?" He softly prompted.

Laura felt tears starting to prick at her eyes. Why was this so difficult for her? It was yet another example of the natural inclinations she lacked that seemed to come so naturally to Ellen. Ellen didn't care about how it would look or what anyone thought. She just wanted to do what was best for her baby.

Katya had once told Laura that a big part of what made Ellen a great mother was that she wasn't afraid to try. Laura could see how true that was now. Ellen was willing to do anything for these children just as she had been with Katya. She'd hardly even hesitated. She was going to try and nurse Liam. That was that and to hell with any social stigmas or emotional blockades. Laura wished that she could do the same for Sasha so easily.

"I shouldn't agree to this," She whispered keeping her eyes on the tank.

"Care to tell me why not?" Bill posed.

Laura swallowed and shrugged.

"It isn't right," She said in a whisper. "Is it? I mean I'm supposed to be her grandmother for frak sake."

As a few tears escaped her eyes Bill gently thumbed them off of her cheek.

"Not anymore. You're Sasha's mother. Tawny is right. That's what Kat wanted."

Had their birth daughter lived Bill knew that they would have been so happy to fulfill the role of her children's grandparents. He still thought of it all the time. He imagined going down to the now peaceful surface of Earth and building a cabin for Laura. He imagined inviting Katya and Alexi over for weekend visits to the planet with the twins. He was confident that he would have made an excellent grandfather. He and Laura would have enjoyed their family's visits and basked in the quiet life they lived, growing older together as they hadn't been able to before. But that wasn't what this new life had dealt him. Bill was facing fatherhood again. He and Laura were raising Sasha as their daughter. She was their baby. That was it.

"Laura, I don't want to pressure you at all. You heard Tawny. Sasha will be fine with what Katya managed to leave for her and when that's gone she'll do fine on synthetic milk. She's going to do great. I know it. She's a tough one. You don't have to do this…but…I'm getting the feeling that you might want to even though you're trying very hard to look for reasons not to say yes...Am I right?"

Laura swallowed the lump in her throat. Of course he was right. The very image had consumed her the moment Tawny had suggested it. The pure power and intimacy of such a connection was enough to take her breath away. She already loved Sasha so much and the thought of bonding with her through such a purely maternal gesture was completely overwhelming. Laura thought back to the video that she'd seen months and months ago of Katya as a newborn. Ellen had told her the story, but seeing the recorded footage herself had made it truly sink in. The night Katya had come out of her own gestational chamber she had been inconsolable. When the lab staff failed to comfort her cries they allowed her to nurse at Laura's unconscious body before it was returned to stasis. Laura had once soothed and fed her baby without even being aware that the child existed. She had nursed her baby to sleep and given her all that her unknowing body had left to give. It was the last time they'd touched one another for over twenty years. The image had blown Laura away on so many levels. Her body had been able to offer her daughter something so important, yet her mind had no recollection of it. She had no sense of how it felt physically or emotionally and after seeing the video she'd secretly yearned to know ever since. Besides missing out on the awe inspiring dynamic of mother and child Laura felt that she had also missed out on a unique opportunity to heal. In her last life she'd associated her breasts only with sex and death. Seeing that part of herself in the light of nurturing life had been unexpectedly inspiring. She wished that she had truly experienced it, if only to cleanse herself of some haunting and weighty memories. She had the opportunity to do so now, so why was it so hard to take?

"Laura," Bill spoke, "Kat wanted her daughter to have a mother in all the ways that she never did. I don't think that she would be against this. I think she would want you to do what you felt was best. I know that you missed out on this with Katya. You didn't get to bond with her in that way and she didn't get to be held and fed in the arms of someone who loved her. If this is something that you feel like you want to experience with Sasha then don't deny yourself the chance. You'll only be denying her in the process. Do what feels right, not what sounds right."

Laura couldn't answer them that day but eventually she agreed.

It was a turning point for both women. They each took their decision seriously and fully dedicated themselves to getting better. While they both still suffered from depression and anxiety they forced themselves to eat, sleep and exercise even when they felt like curling into a ball and disappearing.

In the mornings, before they made their daily trip to the lab Ellen would have breakfast waiting for Laura when she came over. After they would return from the Estuary they would brew their afternoon herbal tea and drink it together, exchanging grimaces over its strange maple and licorice flavor. They even gave each other their prescribed hormonal injections when both Bill and Saul turned out to be a bit squeamish around needles. When the regimen began to actually take effect Laura made little ice packs for the both of them to deal with the swelling and physical discomfort. Though they still weren't what anyone would call friendly they had become companions in every other sense of the word. They became one another's support system whether it was a jogging partner or a hand to hold during an emotional breakdown on the bathroom floor. Only one could truly understand what the other was going through. They shared every pain, emotional and physical. They felt the same loss, the same grief and they felt the same guilt over the same strange sense of anticipation of what was coming.

As their health improved their outlook did as well. Though they were still devastated that Katya and Alexi would be missing the event they were starting to eagerly await the twins exit from their chamber. Instead of staring at the tank all day they had at one point started to talk to the little people inside. It was Laura who had the idea to read to them, but it was Ellen who suggested the reading material.

Not long after Katya's death Tawny mentioned that she had been keeping a journal. Katya had given Tawny permission to grant her parents access to it and so the doctor did so. When Ellen suggested that they read entries of Katya's own words to the babies instead of typical children's stories and rhymes Laura felt her heart swell and break all over. She'd recommended the diary to Katya months before as a way to cope. Katya had actually taken her advice and now the journal had become another precious remainder of her daughter's life. It was an unfiltered peek into the inner workings of a mind that Laura had only just started to understand.

Though reading aloud was meant for the twins as an introduction to their parents voices it became unintentionally therapeutic for all of them.

Most of Katya's journal was in letter form, another noticeable piece of advice from Laura. It made it easy to select what to read. Though in life Katya had never meant for anyone to see them, many entries read like individual notes to her loved ones. Some were even written to the twins.

As the weeks went on there were more instances where one of them would visit the lab alone. They did it in order to allow each other to be productive with things like work, exercise, rest and completing preparations on the cabin nurseries. The solo shifts gave them the best opportunities to read to the babies. Even Tawny started to do it when she went to the civilian side of the station to check on them. She would find an entry or two that she had time enough to get through and she would read aloud just as Katya had done for her children.

 

***

Privyet, moy deti. Aunt Tawny says you can't exactly hear me yet, but that you will be able to very soon. She says that for now you can feel the vibration of my voice through the chamber glass, so I want to keep talking. It's the only way I can think of to let you know when I'm with you. The trouble is I don't really know what to say. I thought I would write this before I came so that I had something to read to you during my visit. A few weeks ago you two gave me some trouble. That morning I truly thought I'd lost you both. Aunt Tawny came to our rescue as usual and she made us all better. I was all alone in Med Ward that night. It was scary and lonely. Someone very special came to visit and she read to me then. It helped. Maybe this will help you too.

Part of me wishes that we could still be together, but I know that I couldn't give you what you needed that way. This place will be better for you. Aunt Tawny says this way you have a chance. I believe that you're going to take advantage of that chance. I wish so much that I could have done better for you. I wish that you'd both been born big enough to take home. I have to trust that one day you will be. Aunt Tawny has gotten you this far. She's saved you a few times over and I know that if you stick with us she will always be there for you. She has truly been your champion through all of this. She keeps telling me to use your names. It's been so hard for your daddy and I to do that. We never imagined you would be possible, let alone two of you. You've shocked us just by existing. When we first found out about you two we dealt with the facts, but we couldn't let ourselves get too sentimental. We were so afraid that as soon as we did you would be gone. Aunt Tawny kept reminding us that when you were born we would have to give the lab staff your legal names, but it was so hard to even let ourselves choose them. It made you two feel so real and suddenly the thought of losing you was so much worse. Once we finally convinced ourselves to discuss it your name was easy, moy sin. Your daddy and I knew what it was without even having to ask each other. I don't think that I could ever truly repay my parents for all that they've done for me, but calling you Liam-Daniel will at least let them know how much I love them, how much we appreciate who they are and the epic lives they have lead.

My rybka, your name was a challenge; not just because we didn't know where to start, but because we've been told from the beginning that we shouldn't expect you to stay with us. It's been terrifying, but Aunt Tawny says that you've held on this long, and as long as you're here with us, you should be called by your name. I want to trust her. Things always turn out better when I do. You're so tiny. Too tiny which is why Aunt Tawny and all of the doctors have been so worried. We wanted to give you a big name to make up for it; something strong, something powerful and meaningful. Your daddy came up with Aleksandra. It means Protector of Man; something our family has done now for longer than even I can fathom. I added Anastasia. It means resurrection. One day I hope that I can explain why I chose it and why its meaning is so important to our family. When I was a child sometimes my father would look at me and say 'koshka, to the world you are Yekaterina Natalia, but to me, you are my little Katya'. So, my rybka, today I'll tell you that to the world you are Aleksandra Anastasia, but no matter what happens you will always be our little Sasha. I'm glad that you're here in the world and I'll cherish you for however long you stay, but I hope with everything that I have that you'll both be here when I come back tomorrow. Stay strong, little ones.
...

If time allowed Tawny would find a passage that was directed toward her. It helped her to feel like Katya was still with her; sharing her secrets and gabbing away like always. It helped Tawny to heal.

...

Tawn, I know that you've looked out for me my whole life. I love you for it even though sometimes I don't treat you with the respect and appreciation that I should. I don't mean to treat you badly. I know that It's wrong considering how much you've done for me. It's just that I have always looked up to you. When you nag me or try to tell me what to do or how to live my life I get upset because I've always just wanted to impress you. When you call me out for messing up I lash out instead of following your advice like I probably should. I can't help it. It's just my fucked up defense. I don't know how you put up with me, but I truly am so thankful. I wish that I could make sure that you knew that. I'm unsure of so many things, but not of where I stand with you. I know my place in your heart and yours in mine. There have been times in my life when I've had no mother and no father, but I can say for sure that I have always had a sister because of you.

...

When Tawny was done she would mark the entries in the diary file so that the others could see that they had been read. The journal had given the new parents a way to interact with the twins. It was an encouraging sign for Tawny and she began to gain confidence that the fledgling little family would actually be okay after all.

For Ellen it was hard to get through the journal entries aloud without breaking down. She frequently had to take breaks to compose herself. It took her twice as long to read a single passage as it did for the others. Though it was difficult for her she struggled through it, never giving up or surrendering to her tears. She wanted to be strong. Katya's messages were so important to her and she promised herself and the twins that she would do all that she could to honor them.

Entries in the diary that were directed toward her were the most difficult to manage. Ellen had always been so proud of how open and close she and Katya were. As she read all of her daughter's thoughts aloud she realized just how much the girl had been keeping inside during the last few months of her life.

I'm sorry I've been such an ass lately, Aunt Elle. I know how stressed you've been and I'm not helping. I just hate that you're away all of the time. I want you home. I know that I'm not acting like it. The last few times you came home to visit I was nothing but a spiteful brat. All I wanted to do was spend time with you while you were here and instead I was rude and accusatory. I'm sorry. I just couldn't help it. I've been so damn mad at you for spending all of your time with Sam. My own guilt is adding to it. I can't believe how long I've been hiding everything from you. It feels awful. We've always shared everything with with each other. I want to tell you my secrets so badly, but I'm afraid. This happened at such a bad time. The state of our world is so uncertain. I see you being pulled in every direction and I see how much everyone else truly needs you. I hate that I have to let you go to them. I still want you all to myself. I've never loved anyone the way I love you, Aunt Ellen. Your arms have been my home for so long. Being apart from you makes me as sick now as it did when I was a little girl. Alexi says I still depend on you too much. Maybe he's right, but I don't care. I don't want it to change. I need you. Whenever I think about what my life would have been like without you it makes me want to cry my eyes out. I still need you as much as I did as a child. If that makes me immature then I don't want to grow up. I owe you so much, Aunt Ellen. Most of all I owe you the damn truth and I haven't been able to give it to you. I've been blaming it all on the uncertain state of things, on the constant disorder of our lives, but I know the real reason that I've kept this from you. I haven't been able to tell you about the babies because I don't want to hurt you.

It seems so silly as I type the words. In my heart I know that you're strong enough to handle anything. I know that you'll be so elated over the twins, but I also know that there will be a moment that will cause you pain. I know it because I've felt it before myself. I've felt it every time I've heard that a friend was expecting, especially close ones. I don't know how to describe it. Maybe it's envy or inadequacy. You know the feeling. You have probably felt it a thousand times over and I didn't want to be the cause of another. Not only that, but we had a bond in this, as sad as it was. When I was thirteen and you told me that I would probably never conceive I didn't truly understand what it meant, but I felt a closeness to you because you did. You understood perfectly. I found such comfort in you because of that. I wasn't alone and you weren't alone anymore either. When I first found out about the twins I just couldn't make you feel that loneliness again. Now things are progressing further than I ever thought they would and I have to tell you. I know that you're going to figure it out soon anyway. I can't hide it much longer. I can hardly believe that I've hid it this long. There are already rumors around the station. I can't let you hear about it that way. I'm so sorry for keeping this from you. I thought that it was for the best. I thought it would be better if Alexi and I just got through the worst of it on our own. I didn't want you to worry about this on top of everything else. I've been so convinced that I'm going to lose them and I didn't want you or Uncle Saul to feel the loss too. You've already been through it before and I guess I've been trying to shield you from going through it again. I thought it was the right thing to do, but most of all I thought that telling you would remind you of what you always wanted so badly but never got. I wonder all the time why this happened to me. It doesn't make sense. The insane improbability of it isn't even what boggles my mind the most. What I don't understand is why the universe would grant me with this when I never asked for it. Why would something so precious be given to me when I can hardly care for myself? You asked for it for so long. You would have done so well. You've been such an amazing mother to me. Why weren't you given the chance long ago? Why am I getting it now? It doesn't seem right. Something isn't adding up. I know how much you always wanted to hold your own baby in your arms. I wish I could have been that for you, but I swear that I have felt as loved and protected by you as any child ever could. I know that when you hold Liam and Sasha they will feel it too. I promise that I'll tell you soon. I'm going to need so much of your help with them. I just have to find the courage to ask.

...

Ellen hated learning about all that Katya had kept from her, but learning her reasons for doing so helped in her acceptance of it. Her daughter's love and compassion was evident in every sentence.

Reading notes that Katya wrote to the twins was a little easier for Ellen, though not by much.

...

I almost told Aunt Ellen about you two last night. We were interrupted yet again and I lost my nerve. She's going to be so furious at me for keeping your existence from her for this long. Your Daddy is right. We hid you way longer than we ever should have. Aunt Ellen and Uncle Saul have done so much for us. We owe them the truth. Soon I'll tell them. I'm sure once they get over the shock and anger they will be so happy- especially Aunt Ellen. They will love you so much and I know that you two will love them right back. They're so much fun and I just know that they are going to be overjoyed to have you two join our family.

I spend so much time hoping that we'll get to take you both home one day, but in truth I have no idea what I'll do with the two of you once you're there. I don't know how to be a mother. I still feel like a child myself. I'm afraid that most of the time I act like one too. I haven't been out of my parent's home for a full year yet. I still can't even manage to order dinner on my own. Ellen has always done all of that for me. I still depend on her for so much and she never lets me down. I don't know what cosmic force thought that it would be wise to entrust your two little souls to me. I haven't the faintest idea of where to begin, but I know that Ellen will. She will help us. She won't let us fail. You'll see. As long as we've got her it'll all be okay.

***

Laura was the one who read to Sasha and Liam most often. She was so grateful to able to take a look into Katya's inner thoughts. Even when the words hurt to read Laura was thankful to have them. She always felt like Katya was holding so much back, even when they'd attempted to speak openly and honestly. Now she was getting to find out all that her daughter had been keeping inside.

Laura would take time to pick out each journal entry at home and mark the ones she wanted to recite aloud in the Estuary. On days when when Ellen's grief stopped her from getting out of bed Laura would make her way to the lab alone with her cabin tablet. After saying hello to the staff and checking the twins' vitals she would pull over a receiving chair, take out the tablet and begin to read. She would read the date and time of the log as if it mattered to the tiny little ears that merely heard a string of soothing hums and mumbles. She didn't care. She spoke every word clearly, even through her tears.

***

My little Sasha, devochka moyA, every day I come here I find you bigger and stronger. You're hardly my rybka anymore. They tell me that I should be surprised, but I'm not any longer. First they told me that you'd never make it. They said you were too tiny, that you weren't growing like you should be. When you hung on for longer than they expected they told me that you probably wouldn't survive your birth. When you did I was told not to get my hopes up. When you turned three days old I stopped listening to them. You were telling me something else. You were telling me that you're strong, that you're a survivor and that you aren't going to leave your brother's side without a fight. Now I'm so sorry that I ever doubted you. I promise never to do it again, rybka.

It makes me smile when you kick your little feet. It's just another way you show me how tenacious you are. I already admire you. I should have expected it. The women in our family are as tough as the damn bolts that hold this station together.

Soon the Estuary staff will know if you're both healthy. When I look at you two you each seem so perfect that I can't fathom how anything could be wrong, but I know that there is a chance. Maybe this is another time that I should let you two show me how you're doing instead of listening to all of these scientists and doctors.

I think you came to see me once in a dream. Didn't you Rybka? On the white sandy beach? I'm almost positive that it was you. My little fish with your eyes that matched the color of the waves. Once you finally open your eyes for real I'll know for sure that it was you. On the beach I told you that I know someone who has eyes just as green and just as pretty yours. My birthmother, Laura has the same clear verdant gaze. I came from her the same way you and Liam came from me. You must have inherited your eyes from her, rybka. Maybe that will bring a smile to her face one day. I hope so. Most of the time I seem to make her sad. She deserves to smile.

I smile every time I see you two even though I'm scared. I worry so much, but when I see how much you grow every day I'm fascinated. I wish that you were big enough for me to hold. I wonder all the time what that will feel like. When I was born I was put into a chamber like yours. When I came out the man I called my father held me. I know that he was hopeful of what my birth would mean, but I'm not sure that he loved me at that point. Sometimes I think that took time. I'm pretty sure that Aunt Ellen and Uncle Saul don't believe that he ever really loved me at all. I guess I'll never know for sure. I don't want either of you to ever have to question that. When my life started I couldn't be brought out into my mother's arms. She couldn't hold me or kiss me. She didn't get the chance to love me and make me feel safe and protected. It wasn't her fault. She just couldn't. I want the first thing you feel to be loving and protective arms. I want to hold you both like I was never held and give you everything that I didn't get. I know that you won't remember it, but you'll grow up knowing that it happened. Right from the start you two will know a love that you will never have to question and it will make all the difference for you.

Though Laura enjoyed reading passages that Katya had directed toward the twins reading ones that were directed to her was far more emotionally taxing.

***

Laura,

I wish that you would stop being so nervous around me. That half stunned, half frightened look you always have when you see me. I guess I understand it. It's just that it makes me feel like shit. You probably don't mean for it to, but it does and I hate it. You say that you want me to spend more time with you, but when I try to sometimes it doesn't feel like you actually want me around. I can tell that I scare you. I'm sure half of that's my fault. You experienced the full force of my anger pretty quickly after your resurrection, but that can't be all of it. It doesn't make sense. I've always heard about how strong and brave you were. Am I really more intimidating than a cylon prison or a military coup? I doubt it. I think it's my very existence that makes you so nervous.
I don't know how to fix that. I'm only uncomfortable around you because you're always so uncomfortable around me. I know that every time you see me you're forced to acknowledge what happened to you. Last time we spoke you told me that you had already come to terms with it, but I wonder if that's really possible. I sure haven't. I never will. I'll always hate was done to you to make me. I wish I didn't have to remind you of it because I'm finding that I actually like spending time with you lately.

It's strange how much I think about you now. I always have but now it's so different. Now I know the sound of your voice. I know what it looks like when you smile, not that it happens very often. I even know what it feels like to hold your hand. I'd held your hands before in the lab when you were on life support, but it wasn't the same. Now they're warm and alive. I never noticed how much our hands looked alike until you were up and breathing. It shocked me. I used to stare at you for hours in stasis. How could I have missed that all of these years? Sometimes I wonder if you've noticed it too. Maybe one day I'll get the guts to ask you. I never know what to say to you and what I should keep to myself. It's funny how I've gone from dreading being in the same room with you to daydreaming about what it would have been like to spend my whole childhood in your care. Sometimes I imagine what it would have been like to have you as my mom. It's something I did often as a kid before Uncle Saul and Aunt Ellen came around. I can't believe I'm still doing it with two of my own children on the way. Sometimes I dream of being a little girl and climbing into your lap for a hug. Ever since you read to me in Med Ward I like to imagine falling asleep to the sound of your voice. I like thinking of it so much that I've started to read aloud to the twins. You made me feel safe that night in the infirmary. You didn't know it, but I was so close to losing the babies at that point and I felt so alone. You came to me and you stayed even though you were unsure, even though I was hardly welcoming. You made me feel comforted. I want to do that for them the way you did for me.

I know you still think that I don't like you but you're wrong. Ellen raised me with a deep respect for strong women and you two ladies are the strongest I've ever met. I may scare you but I see your bravery in the face of everything else. You were brought back to life and into a world that you didn't understand. You were told that your body was recreated, violated and used. Then you learned about me and you were burdened with a constant reminder of it. In spite of it all you've given this life a chance and you've tried to give me a chance too. Scared or not that counts for something and like Uncle Saul always says; you can be afraid and still be brave.

Maybe it would have helped if you had been resurrected when I was young. Maybe a little girl would have been easier to accept. But I'm all grown now; a tarnished product of a life without you. I love my parents with all of my heart, but sometimes I wonder how I would be different now if you and the Admiral raised me instead of the Tighs. I've heard that he was a good father. I think you might have been a good mother if you had the chance.

When I was very young, before I met the Tighs, you were the only mother I knew. You were just a symbol; lifeless and floating in a tank, but you were my mommy and I was born waiting for you to wake up. I used to go to bed every night wishing you would. Now I lay awake in bed at night grateful that you finally have.

I wish that I could tell you how I feel but I can't. You were so right about this journaling thing. Sometimes writing to the people I know is the only way I can get out what I really feel. If I had the courage I would tell you all that I wrote tonight and I would tell you how meeting you has filled a place inside of me that was hollow for so long, but I can't because I'm afraid. I'm afraid just like you.

***

Bill took to reading to the twins easily. For the first few weeks after Katya's death he'd felt an overwhelming sense of anxiety and concern during his Estuary visits. He often found himself obsessing over the smallest change in the babies' vitals and over the slow progress of Sasha's weight gain. Rationally he knew that nothing would be in his control until they were finally out in the world, but he also knew that if something happened to them Laura and Ellen would never make it through. When he was in the Estuary he saw the fate of the rest of his life precariously floating right in front of him, suspended in a tank and all that he could do was watch, wonder and wait. Reading made him feel as if he were finally doing something helpful, just as it had when Laura was sick.

Watching you two in your little tank has made realize something that I never understood before. Imagine that. You two; so tiny and new and you've already helped me learn a lesson.

I've started to think about how I've loved you both since the moment you were born. Maybe even before that. It sounds crazy to love two people who you have never really met. Believe me, I know that. All I have are hopes, dreams and aspirations of who you each will be, but even so I feel a connection that I can only call love. Because of that I've realized that it's not such a strange concept for me after all.

It's happened to me before with my mother and father. From as far back as I can remember I would watch Bill and Laura floating in their stasis chambers. I was waiting for the day that they would resurrect and be with me. All I had then were hopes, dreams and aspirations of who they might be once they were here. I know that I loved them back then. I felt that connection. I loved them while they were floating in stasis and I as longingly watched them with my little nose pressed up against the glass. And somehow, though meeting them has hardly matched my hopes and dreams, the love never went away. I'm connected to them the same way you two are connected to me. I think I'll always love them whether they ever feel that way about me in return or not. I don't think it's something that I can help.

I want you two to know that I certainly can't help the love I have for you. It exists already and it will only grow stronger.

***

 

 


Saul had a tougher time reading. He did it because he didn't know what else to do while he was in the Estuary except stare. He did it because he knew that Ellen wanted him to do it.

Most times he sucked it up and chose a spot in the diary to recite, but so often it hurt like hell to get through.

 

***

Uncle Saul,

I can take Bill looking at me with that new suspicion in his eyes. It scares me but I can take it. I certainly can't stop it so I guess I have to bear it. What I can't take is seeing the same look on your face. It hurts me and I know you aren't aware of that but I wish you would stop.

Why do you have to know? Why question things? Haven't I been enough all these years?

For most of my life you've seen me as your little girl, a member of your loving family. You've seen me as an officer and a pilot. You helped me define myself when I thought that I was destined to live life so lonely and lost. So much of who I am now is because you took me in as your own. You loved me, taught me, made me smile and made me feel safe. I've known my place in the world because of the family you've provided for me; both with you and Ellen and also within the military. To see you look at me with such uncertainty is something I just can't handle, not while I'm questioning everything myself. You have to know who I am because you were the one who showed me.

Alexi has been so angry at me lately and I'm never sure where I stand with Bill and Laura. Sam's resurrection has turned everything upside down, and the future of my children is so unclear. The only thing that hasn't changed is knowing that you and Ellen love me and always will. Our family has always been my anchor and I need to feel as if I belong with you now more than ever.

When I'm not sure who I am or even who I've been, when I'm confused about where I came from or why I'm here, I have to hold on to something. I have to remind myself that I am Yekaterina Isakoff; daughter of Colonel Saul Tigh and his wife Ellen Cavil Tigh. I have to be sure of that and be as proud of it as I ever have. I have to or I just might fall apart. I just might lose myself or at least all of the parts that you helped me gather. You've always called my your daughter. I hope that the next time you look at me that's who you see because it's all I want to be.

***

On only one occasion Laura and Ellen read while they were there together.

It had been a hard night for Ellen. She was sore, sad and sleepless and she almost hadn't made it out of bed that morning. With Laura's help she'd gotten to the Estuary, but her sorrow had only followed her. As she sat in one of the nursery chairs she could do little but cry.

Laura tried making conversation. She tried holding her hand. She even tried a crude joke about their rapidly changing figures that Ellen would have typically loved. When none of it worked she pulled up Katya's journal on her cuff and began to read aloud.

 

***

I think about holding you two every night before I go to sleep. I think about when I'll finally be able to take you home and be able to comfort you. As often as I think of doing it myself I just as often think of how wonderful it will be for Aunt Ellen to do it too. She's going to love you both so much and I can't wait to see her with a baby in her arms. It's something she's wanted for so long. You two won't be able to help but feel the love of her embrace. I feel it myself all the time. As far as I'm concerned there is no more comforting place to be in than her arms. We are going to have to find something else for you two to call her. Calling her by her name just doesn't seem right, but I can tell you that she won't like the other more obvious options. I can just imagine her face at the thought of being called babushka! In time we will come up with something as a family.

I've always understood why Saul and Ellen had me call them aunt and uncle. Uncle Saul was being considerate to my birthparents who he hoped would return one day and I had just lost the man I once called my father. He thought of the next best thing. It made sense at the time. I know that they thought it was for the best, but so often I wished that I could call Aunt Ellen mom.

I just wanted to say it once and have someone answer me.

Then when I got older I just wanted to say it once so that she could finally hear it.

Though Laura had succeeded in her goal of easing Ellen's sobbing she subsequently found herself in tears toward the end of the entry and incapable of going on.

Without hesitation Ellen gently took Laura's wrist in hand to look down at the illuminated file hovering over her cuff. She sucked in a deep breath and took over where Laura had left off.

When I was very young I called Laura my mommy, but she couldn't hear me and she couldn't reply. I would tell everyone that my mommy was a hero, that one day my mommy was coming back to save us. Eventually I stopped. I started feeling so foolish. I was no longer sure that she was ever coming back and I started to doubt that she'd accept me calling her my 'mommy' even if she did.

Lately I wonder how she'd react if she heard me say it now. Would she be horrified? Would it scare her and send her walls shooting even further up around her? Or does she secretly yearn to hear it just like Aunt Ellen?

I know that it shouldn't matter what I call either one of them, but somehow it does.

I've never been able to call out the word mom and have anyone answer.

I promise the both of you that you will never have to know what that feels like. I promise that when you call out for your mother you'll always get a loving response.

***

By the time Ellen finished they were both wracked with sobs, but in the face of their pain they'd gained a new confidence. Neither of them doubted the direction that their futures were about to take ever again.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR A

Alpha Civilian Medical Center; Women's Ward

ROOM: Alpha Estuary Gestational Laboratory

YEAR: 2316

The day came when the waiting was finally over. Liam and Sasha were deemed gestationally mature, surpassing Katya's natural due date by two days. They each passed every test administered and were found to be fit to thrive in the outside world. Sasha was still a bit smaller than the lab staff would have liked, but the artificial womb could do no more for the little girl. The doctors explained that she would grow and gain weight faster as soon as she began nursing. The date and time was set for their extraction. It was scheduled early one morning at the beginning of the work week.

Laura had started the day as if it were any other. She rolled out of bed, showered and dressed as usual, but on this particular morning she'd done it all while shaking like a leaf. Her bags were already packed and ready for a possible extended stay in the women's ward. The twins would be under observation for a week at the very least and in need of round the clock feedings. She and Ellen would be given temporary quarters near the neonatal nursery; a secondary lab located beyond the Estuary.

With Bill in tow Laura ventured next door to the Tigh's as she did every morning. There, an over anxious Ellen with bleary red eyes had their usual herbal tea set out. They'd sipped it at the kitchen table in silence while Saul and Bill sat on the sofa drinking coffee and muttering to one another in low anxious tones. The air was filled with a strange apprehension born from the grief of loss and the guilt of coming joy. They all felt it and they sat there collectively bearing its weight until it was finally time to go. Bags packed and fists clenched they'd piled into a transport cart and made their way to the Estuary.

Tawny had explained the extraction process to them over and over during the last month, but as Laura and Ellen sat by the tank in their respective receiving chairs with their husbands by their sides, neither truly knew what to expect.

As soon as they'd arrived they had both rushed to the chamber. Too overwhelmed to verbally greet their children they both settled for resting their palms on the tank's glass. They each quietly wept as they stood there feeling the final recorded beats of Katya's heart. They knew they would never feel it again. It's drumming would be lost forever once the chamber was no longer in use. When the chairs were brought over they were asked to sit and Saul nearly had to pry Ellen's hand from the glass.

Most of the preparation was a blur.

Tawny stood nearby waiting as one lab tech set up a small surgical cart's tray and another worked on the chamber's screen setting it to depressurize.

"You're not breathing," Bill whispered as he leaned down to Laura's ear.

"I can't."

He'd never seen her so nervous. Her hands gripped the arms of the chair. Her knuckles were turning white as her fingers dug into its plush cushioning. In contrast her cheeks were flushed bright pink. Her entire body seemed to vibrate. He could see just how raw her nerves were, how vulnerable she felt.

"Yes you can," He urged. "Take some slow deep breaths."

"I can't," She rasped again.

"C'mon, Laura," He said as he rubbed her back. "Before you get dizzy."

"Dr. Xao?" A lab tech spoke up over the hushed tones.

Tawny nearly jumped at the sound, snapped out of the light fog she'd been in. She hadn't slept all night. Sam had kept her up begging for a chance to visit the twins once they were out, something that she couldn't grant him without parental permission. She knew that Ellen was the only one who would even consider it, but Tawny refused to bother her with his request. Sam had driven Tawny crazy into the wee hours of the morning, but in fairness she knew that she wouldn't have slept much even without his pestering. The anticipation of her coming task was far too great.

"They're all set, Doctor," The technician informed her. "Ready when you are."

Tawny nodded and stepped up to the surgical cart. She removed her lab coat and handed it over to another tech to put aside. In return she was handed a blue smock which she quickly donned and tied at her back. After surveying her supplies she picked up a pair of specialized gloves designed to fit past the elbow and began to put them on.

"Colonel? Ellen?" She said as she tugged on the tight vinyl. "I'll begin when you're ready," She informed them.

Liam-Daniel was designated as baby A. Due to protocol he would be extracted first; something they'd all known for months. Ellen had been waiting for this moment for so long, but suddenly she felt anything but ready.

"My gods, Saul," She cried into her palms. "She should be here."

Saul bent down to put a comforting arm around his weeping wife and rested his lips to her forehead.

"He's got us, Ellen. He's got us. It's gunna be okay," He murmured against her skin, but she only cried more fiercely.

"My poor baby. Gods, she should be here."

"She gave us a job to do, Ellen," Saul went on. "Liam-Daniel needs us. Let's not keep that little boy waiting any longer."

After a moment Ellen was able to temporarily compose herself. As her cries quieted Saul nodded to Tawny giving her the silent go ahead.

Without another word the doctor turned to the tank. She swiped at its screen's panel a few times before a low hissing came from the chamber. Its cover began to retract and the section of the counter it rested on began to lower making it easy to reach over its top.

While Tawny positioned herself in front of the tank another lab attendant came upon the awaiting couple. Without a word the smiling woman draped a soft blue receiving blanket over Ellen's chest and lap causing her to whimper out loud.

Tawny hesitated at the audible little outburst. She looked over her shoulder with concern, but Saul just motioned for her to continue. On his okay she turned, readied herself and with a deep breath she dipped both of her steady hands into the warm chamber fluid.

Saul couldn't see what was going on from where he knelt by Ellen's chair. One of the technicians had joined the doctor. They had their surgical cart pulled close by with half a dozen little instruments at the ready. They were blocking his view. He heard them mumble a few words amongst themselves, then nothing, and then after a beat came the telling sound of soft liquid swishing. His heart nearly stopped. He stood but kept his hand firmly held to his wife's trembling shoulder. Tawny's back straightened. He could tell that she now had her arms full. He watched the technician huddle close as she began grabbing utensils from the tray one by one; a suction bulb followed by a scissor and then what looked like a small clamp. It all happened so fast and then he heard it; a tiny gurgle followed by a high pitched little whine. Before he knew it the sound had turned into full screeching cry.

"He's out, Ellen. He's out," Saul said, eye wide and barely able to contain his wonder.

Ellen lost the battle that she was fighting to keep her composure. At the sound of the infant's cries she let her own bellowing ring out through the room.

Tawny turned to them with the tiny screaming bundle clutched to her smock; a little boy sporting nothing but a few strands of damp blonde hair and a clamp on his navel. The doctor's eyes were red and wet as she held him and looked toward the stunned pair.

"Saul and Ellen Tigh," She said before attempting to clear her throat of emotion, "Allow me to present your son, Liam-Daniel."

Saul's tears ran as freely as Ellen's at the introduction. He was amazed. He'd watched the baby growing for months and yet out in the open it was suddenly so real. He was bright pink, screaming and perfect and he was theirs.

The tech appeared by Ellen's side and gently encouraged her to lean back in her receiving chair. Amidst her overwhelming tears Ellen did as she was instructed. Before she knew it Tawny was leaning over her and placing Liam atop the waiting blanket that covered the front of her body.

Ellen's arms instinctively embraced the baby wrapping him up in the soft blanket and holding him close. Her quivering lips went to his still wet and wrinkled forehead and she kissed him for the very first time.

"He's perfect, Ellen," Saul managed to say as he brushed his index finger along the bottom of Liam's foot that stuck out of the blanket's wrap. "Just perfect."

The two were so overcome with the sight of the boy that they didn't notice Tawny's return to the tank. They were immediately enamored with him, consumed by him as if nothing else existed in the universe. It was Sasha's first strained little cries that even alerted them to the fact that she had joined her brother on the outside.

Ellen looked up just in time to see Tawny placing the little girl into Laura's arms and wrapping her within her own receiving blanket. The image took Ellen's breath away and once she regained it she only cried harder.

Laura on the other hand was too stunned to even let a tear free.

"She'll be okay with you for a while, Laura," Tawny said in a soft voice. "Her lungs are clear, but we'll want to get her under a heat lamp within the hour. We don't have an official weight on her yet, but due to her obvious size she may have some trouble regulating her own body temperature. At least for a few days. It's common when they don't quite break the five pound mark."

Laura hardly heard the doctor's explanation. Her mouth hung open as she looked down at the precious squirming miracle that had just been placed upon her. The blanket nearly swallowed Sasha's little body and Laura struggled to see her face among the moving fabric. The baby's cries had quickly settled into soft coos and whimpers, but all Laura could hear was Ellen whaling in time with Liam. She cringed and shut her eyes at the familiar sound of heartbreak.
Bill leaned down and rested his lips on her temple.

"Breathe, Laura," He reminded her again.

Her eyes clenched shut even tighter and she shook her head.

"I can't," She nearly choked out.

"You have to breathe for her," He said in a low and calming tone. "Look at her, Laura. Open your eyes and look at her," He said pushing some of the blanket's material away from the baby's face. "She's our little girl. She's here. She's right here. Look at her."

Laura had to fight to pry her eyes open. Once she was able to look down she let out an involuntary gasp. Her eyes finally watered letting a few tears spill forward. She was all at once overjoyed and devastated. She immediately understood why Ellen couldn't contain herself. Sasha was beautiful with delicate features and a few wet auburn wisps atop her head. Laura was in awe. She'd so often dreamed of this moment, what it would feel like, how she would react. She'd missed it the last time; another precious moment stolen from her leaving a permanent wound on her heart and soul. Now by some horrible and wonderful miracle she'd been granted another chance and yet she felt too stunned to respond, too mesmerized to take it all in. The feeling of failure was rapidly creeping its way in once again.

"I can hardly feel her in my arms. She's so tiny," She began to ramble through her tears. "The blanket feels empty. I can't feel her," She said with hitching breaths.

Bill nodded and ran a knuckle over the petite newborn's pink cheek. She was small; smaller than the tank's fluid had made her appear. He trusted Tawny's assessment that the baby was healthy, but the reality of her size was intimidating. She looked so fragile and delicate, like a perfect little doll come to life. It was almost surreal.

Bill let out a long breath and stood to his feet. He positioned himself in front of Laura's chair. His heart clenched within his chest as he looked down upon the newly united pair. Mother and daughter, the way it should have been years ago. Laura couldn't feel their baby in her arms back then, but she would now. He'd make sure of it.

"It's going to be okay, Laura," He told her. "Do you trust me?"

Her nod was hardly discernible from the shaking of her shoulders, but he proceeded anyway.

As Bill leaned over her Laura expected that he was about to take the baby from her arms. She was hardly confident in the hold that she had on the little girl. Perhaps Bill thought the child would be more secure with him. The thought hurt her, but she was ready to surrender the baby to the safety of his far more capable hands. To her surprise Bill didn't reach for Sasha. Instead his fingers went to the top button of her blouse. She winced with apprehension but didn't stop him. Gently he undid the button exposing a bit of her flushed chest.

Bill paused to glance up at Tawny who stood diligently nearby watching over them.

"This okay, Doc?"

"Absolutely," She smiled, seeming to know his intent. "Go for it, Dad. It'll keep her warm."

Laura's brow knitted, unsure of what the doctor had just gladly approved.

With Tawny's kind encouragement Bill slowly and deliberately unclasped the next few buttons on her top. Stopping just past the satin of her bra he pushed the blouse open so that her breast bone and most of her chest was exposed. His hands then went to the blanket. Cautiously he unwrapped each layer until Sasha's little body was fully revealed. Bill scooped his hands underneath her. As he lifted her forward he couldn't believe just how feather light she truly was. Her bottom actually fit inside the gentle cup of his palm. Ever so carefully Bill positioned her over his wife's waiting chest.

Sasha's head nestled between the crook of Laura's neck and shoulder. Her warm tiny body pressed up against her mother's rising and falling chest. They were skin to skin as close as they could be.

Laura's trembling hands replaced Bill's supporting the baby at her bare bottom and back.

Bill took the empty fallen blanket from Laura's lap.

"You can feel her now," He said as he covered them both with it.

Laura's breath caught in her throat.

"Yes," She eventually whispered and closed her eyes, finally allowing herself to absorb the exquisite warmth of new life.

Bill knelt back down by her side. He kissed her forehead and brushed a few tears from her cheek with his finger before putting his arm around her.

"You're going to make a wonderful mother, Laura," He whispered into her ear.

Laura gulped in a sharp breath. She held it within her lungs until they felt like they might burst.

"I wanted so much to be that for her," She squeaked through the exhale, "Now she's gone."

Bill swallowed back his tears as he glanced down at the helpless infant nuzzling against her.

"More than anything she wanted her baby to have a mother. Give Sasha everything that you never had the chance to give her. You can do this for her, for both of them."

Just feet away Liam finally calmed in Ellen's arms. Though his cries had stopped hers had merely quieted.

As she held onto the baby boy she would call her son she could feel the shattered pieces of her heart being pulled painfully back together. She knew that the love she had for him and for the little girl in Laura's arms was the only thing powerful enough to the hold the broken pieces in place. Though her love for them would keep it beating her heart would always remain damaged beyond solid repair.

"He's a beautiful boy," Saul said as he looked down at the infant. His voice was broken and overcome with emotion. "Almost as beautiful as his mother."

Ellen's tears ran hot at Saul's expression.

For a moment she didn't know whether he was referring to her or to Katya. He was letting her decide she supposed, or perhaps he'd meant them both. Her throat was so swollen that she couldn't respond anyway. She put her lips to the soft platinum tufts atop the boy's head and let out low hum.

Saul made his way to the front of the receiving chair and knelt down on one knee. He marveled at the image before him. He had to reach out and touch them just to remind himself that it was all real. When he put his hand over the blanket to feel Liam's warmth beneath it his tears began to flow once again.

"I wish it hadn't happened this way, Ellen," He started. "But I've waited so long to see you like this," He confessed. "I couldn't have asked for a better mother for my little girl. No matter what else our kitten went through she couldn't have been loved anymore than you loved her. I know that you'll do just the same for Liam-Daniel."

Ellen let out a harsh sob and protectively clutched the baby to her chest. Her jaw quivered as she struggled to speak, her words bogged by pure joy and sheer misery all at once.

"Even if it was only for a little while, she had them…She had her children and because of that…because of that I know that she finally understood how…how much I loved her."

"Love outlasts death, Ellen," Saul told her, once again reciting the most important lesson he'd learned over the course of his lives. "We have all of her love left to give them."

The twins were eventually moved out of the Estuary and into the neonatal nursery unit within the civilian medical center. There Ellen and Laura were able to stay with them night and day. They shared impossibly tiny visitors quarters located within the unit. They took turns sleeping on the single bed. The first few nights they alternated feeding times with help from the nursery staff until they fell into a pattern of their own. One would get some much needed sleep while the other stayed up to keep watch or nurse a hungry baby. With no room for Bill and Saul they only visited during the day.

It took Liam less than two weeks to meet his goal weight. On the fourteenth day after their extraction he was cleared to go home, but Ellen wouldn't hear of it. She and Liam wouldn't be leaving the nursery without Sasha and Laura. Two weeks later when little Sasha was finally cleared they all went home together.

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 208B: ASSIGNMENT; T. XAO

YEAR: 2316

"I just want to see them. I want to wish them all well. Can't you just…"

"They aren't my kids, Anders," Tawny told Sam in an argument that had become part of their daily routine since the babies were extracted. "It's out of my hands!"

"You could have let me! You could have let me visit back when they were still gestating. You were their legal guardian for weeks before you signed them over," Sam accused, following her around the cabin as she darted around picking up their laundry and tidying up just trying to get out of his face.

"I wasn't going to make that decision, legal or not, Anders. They each have a set of parents to do that for them. You have to give Ellen tim. Everything is so new and delicate right now. Be patient. You know that she'll let you see Liam eventually whether the Colonel wants her to or not."

Sam knew that Tawny was probably right about Ellen but the waiting was killing him. There was part of Kara, part of Katya still living in the world. He wanted to be as close as he could to the remaining pieces that she had left behind.

"What about Sasha?" He tested again.

Tawny shrugged and sighed before finally turning to face him.

"I don't know. I won't make any assumptions as far as Laura and the Admiral are concerned. I don't know them nearly as well as the Tighs. Right now they are dealing with so much, but once things are a little more settled I don't see why they wouldn't let you visit. They need time too."

Sam nodded, conceding once again. It was the same every day and Tawny always let him get his frustrations out. Though he badly wanted to see the twins again he really didn't want to upset the newly formed little families. He had no intention of causing anyone further stress. He wanted the best for the children.

Later at night in bed, as she always did, Tawny showed him a few new pictures that Laura or Ellen had shared with her or allowed her to take during a visit. Images of Ellen holding Liam-Daniel were Sam's favorite. Even in photos he could see how much she was still hurting, but there was a light in her eyes that he'd never seen before. He saw the same mix of joy and pain in photos of Laura with Sasha.

"Doc?"

"Hm?"

"How did they...how did they decide on the arrangement?" He asked with narrowed eyes cast down at a photo of the new mothers with their children.

Sam wasn't sure why he'd never inquired before. It all just seemed to fit so well that for some reason the question just hadn't occurred to him.

"I really don't know," Tawny admitted. "I suppose co-parenting two children would have been a little difficult with four different people involved, but I don't think that was it. I asked the Colonel a while ago and he just shrugged. He said that they never really talked about it. He told me that it was almost like Laura and Ellen had it settled from the moment they laid eyes on the babies. He said it just all just fell into place."

Sam thought for a moment.

"Makes sense in a weird way," He decided.

"Does it?"

"Sort of…"

"How so?"

"I don't know," Sam contemplated. "I can't really explain it either...I mean...just look at them. Liam actually looks like Ellen. Sasha looks like Roslin."

Tawny had noticed the resemblance, but she'd never thought much of it.

"Well Laura is a blood relative. And you've told me yourself that you designed Caprica with Ellen in mind. The babies just inherited family traits carried down by Kat and Lex."

"That's not it," Sam insisted.

He had a look of stern contemplation on his face that made Tawny uneasy. She had been fascinated with how his mind worked since the day they'd met, but sometimes it frightened her.

"It's just genetics," She tried to explain in her practical scientific way, but Sam shook his head.

"It's a little too on point if you ask me. It's like...like those kids were always meant for the two of them."

Tawny frowned at the statement. Though she was glad that the twins each had a devoted mother she would always feel like Sasha and Liam belonged to Katya. She should have been their mother. To Tawny the loss still seemed so tragic and unfair. She didn't want to consider that somehow it was all meant to be, but part of her couldn't help but see how strangely true Sam's theory seemed.

"When Kat and I were young I spent a lot of time at the Tigh's cabin. They truly adored her. I mean, really, she was the center of their world. People thought they over indulged her. They called Kat spoiled...but they honestly couldn't help but give her all of the love and attention she craved. I remember one time I overheard the Colonel saying something to Ellen about her being their second chance...I was maybe twelve at the time. I didn't understand what he meant back then, but it always stuck with me. The way he looked at Ellen as he said it. Katya meant everything to them."

"I don't think she was ever meant to be their second chance," Sam stated with a confidence that Tawny couldn't understand.

"How can you say that, Sam?" She said in a tone that sounded almost offended. "You didn't watch them raise her. I know this family and…"

"And I've known Saul and Ellen longer than you can imagine," He countered over her words. "I think that maybe she was meant to get them ready for their second chance."

"What?"

"I can see that she brought them together in a way they never have been before. I think she helped them to heal the parts of their love that had been broken for so long. I think maybe she was meant to get them to a point where they were finally able to endure and accept what they'd always wanted and then...she gave it to them. She gave them their second chance. She gave them Liam. In a way maybe the same is true for Roslin and Adama. I don't think that she was ever meant to be a second chance for any of them, but I know, sure as I'm sitting here, that they were her's."

"What do you mean?"

"They were her second chance. All of 'em."

Tawny bit at her lip. Part of her didn't want to hear his explanation, but she stayed quiet allowing him to explain.

"Kara's dad ran out on her when she was just a little kid. He never so much as wrote her a damn letter or called. Just left. It damaged her in a way that she never recovered from. Here...here she had two men who woke up in the morning for the sole purpose of protecting her and trying like hell to give her a future. She looked at them and saw not one, but two fathers who would never think of abandoning her. Not ever. She had their love, their security, their loyalty and acceptance. She got to see the pride in their eyes..."

"Anders…"

"And her mother," He went on shaking his head as he thought of the stories Kara had shared with him so long ago. "The woman was sick piece of work. She abused her. She broke her down mentally, emotionally, physically, and yet all Kara wanted was her mom's approval and love. Here...gods, here she had two mothers fighting tooth and nail to love her. She experienced Ellen's boundless adoration. She had someone to look up to in Roslin. She had everything in them that she never had before. She had it frakkin double and after the bum deal she was dealt before she frakkin deserved it," Sam stated as if he was giving some kind of illusory testimonial. "And I'm happy for her. I'm so glad that she got to know the unconditional love of being someone's child, of being wanted, of being the thing they loved most in the world...because I know that she died once before still wanting that feeling."

When he was done quiet tears had gathered in Tawny's eyes threatening to fall.

"It still scares me when you talk about her like that," She whispered as she blinked them away.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Tawny nodded and wiped her cheeks with her fingers. She didn't want Sam to stop. She was his only outlet, the only person he could express his beliefs to. No matter how much it unnerved or confused her she wanted to continue to be there for him. "You don't have to apologize to me, Anders. Not about that. I just don't know if I'll ever get used to it."

Sam took her hand and gave it a squeeze.

"I'm sorry I've been pestering the hell out of you. I just want to see Sasha and Liam with my own eyes. I want to see her living on in them. I want to see the look on Ellen's face...She's been waiting so long."

"I know, Anders, just...let them be for now. Please?"

"I will...For now. I promise you that I'll give them some more time. I'm not trying to cause trouble here, Doc. I just want to make sure that they're alright. It's not enough for you to tell me or to see pictures. I need to see for myself. For as long as I'm here...however long that might be I want to watch over them for her. All of them. Not just her children, her parents too. I want to look over the people who she left behind. The people who she loved and who loved her. I think she would want me to."

"I feel the exact same way," Tawny agreed.

"Then we'll do it," Sam pledged.

"Together?"

"Yeah, Doc," He said leaning over and giving her a kiss to the cheek. "Together. As long as you'll have me."

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

People aboard all four space stations began to move down to the surface just a few short months after the war ended. City planning and construction began as well as farming endeavors. Citizens moved down to all parts of the globe in all four former sectors, though it was agreed upon that the united government would remain. The military added several bases on each continent and soldiers and their families were receiving new orders daily. Some chose to move, others were forced by obligation. Though earthly inhabitance was what Bill, Laura and the Tighs had fought for they had no plans to leave Alpha within the first year of the twins' lives. They stayed put on the station that they called home while Sasha and Liam grew stronger.

With Bill and Laura living next door to Saul and Ellen the babies were never far apart. While Bill and Saul worked most days Laura and Ellen quickly fell into a daily routine. After Sasha's morning feeding and a warm sink bath Laura would usually make her way next door so that the babies could nap together in the same crib. The women marveled at how the two newborns snuggled as close as they had once been within their little tank. As the babies slept Laura would often rest on Katya's old bed; the one she had once laid upon with her and shared their secret dreams, the one Ellen had tucked her into night after night of her childhood. In a way it made Laura feel like Katya was closer. Ellen never stopped her. Laura knew that she did it too when she was alone.

Most days Ellen would make them tea and order them lunch. While it still wasn't easy for them to eat well they did it for the sake of the twins. With the babies around all things seemed possible no matter how difficult.

Ellen and Laura did their best to keep Sasha and Liam on the same schedule so that one was never up when the other was down. In the afternoons they sat on opposite ends of the sofa nursing and rocking the babies while playing some of Katya and Alexi's most beloved old Eastern Federalist symphonies. The scores of Katya's favorite ballets were too much for Ellen to take at first. Laura quickly learned how to sense when Ellen was about to get too emotional over a song. She trained herself to skip the tough ones or cut them short until Ellen eventually became strong enough to get through them without crying.

As more time went on they began to play some home videos. Though Sasha and Liam were far too young to focus on the screen Ellen and Laura wanted them hear Katya's voice. The twins knew it briefly during the few weeks that their birthmother had read to them in the Estuary and Ellen and Laura liked to think that it helped soothe and calm them. Sometimes it helped Laura and Ellen to hear her too. Whether the twins grew up thinking of Katya as their birthmother or more of an older sister it didn't matter. Laura and Ellen would make sure that they knew she'd been the one to bless their family by giving them life.

For the most part the rhythm and schedule they'd fallen into was unplanned. It just happened. At first the two women didn't talk much. Despite having found deep feelings of mutual respect and gratitude through Katya not much had changed yet in regard to their taste for one another's personality. They still didn't exactly like each other, but they desperately needed each other's presence to get through each day.

Most of their interaction over the first few months consisted of passing the babies back and forth and handing each other diapers or burp rags. They would trade off washing bottles and folding tiny clothes. One would often wind up in a fit of giggles as the other made absurd noises that were actually meant to make the babies laugh. Every so often they would still find themselves having to hold each other's hand when one of them would burst into tears or having to pull the other's hair back when one of them would get physically ill from a sudden pang of grief. In a very short span of time their lives had become virtually symbiotic. Though they never spoke of it they both knew that they couldn't function without each other's help and they were content to go forward together that way no matter how strange it might have seemed to those who couldn't understand.

Most evenings Bill and Saul would get off duty to find the both of them napping with the babies on the sofa. The sight never failed to make each man smile. After the babies had their evening feedings Laura would go home with Bill and Sasha. It gave the three of them some time together, leaving Saul, Ellen and Liam to do the same. They day would start all over again early the next morning. It was their routine for the first year of the twins' lives and it worked.

Ellen treasured her time with Sasha during the day. When she held the baby girl she felt like she was getting the chance to know what it would have felt like to hold Katya as an infant. From the start she showered her with pet names. Sasha became Ellen's sugar, her baby doll, her angel and her sweetiepie, but when she slipped one day and called her 'kitten' for the first time it was all too much to take. As soon as Laura heard the epithet cross Ellen's lips she knew what was about to happen. She rushed to take Sasha from Ellen's shaking arms. After putting the little girl safely down in the crib she held onto Ellen as her grief came out in a flood of tears, wrenching sobs and angry screams. Laura held on tight long after the other woman's tears had calmed.

Eventually Ellen took to calling the baby girl 'rybka'. It had been Katya's pet-name for her daughter and Ellen wanted the child to know it. The slips became less frequent for Ellen and though she avoided meltdowns by keeping the affectionate feline word off of her lips sometimes it hurt almost just as much not to say it anymore. Her kitten was gone and the only thing that helped her let go was knowing that soon there would be a little girl's voice calling her Aunt Ellen once again.

Liam instantly had Laura wrapped around his tiny finger. She became enamoured with the little boy right away. When she would wake with Sasha in the morning her very next thought was getting nextdoor to see Liam's sweet face and shining blue eyes. She loved cooing at him and telling him over and over how much his Aunt Laura and Uncle Bill loved him. She quickly developed a bad habit of coddling him. While she was able to let Sasha learn to self soothe she could never seem to let Liam cry or whine for very long. She often wondered if his cries were more heartbreaking to her ears because she wasn't quite as in tune with him as she was with Sasha having her twenty-four hours of the day. Sometimes Laura worried that she was overcompensating for the time that she spent away from the boy. Liam cried so much more than his sister, a trait that Dr. Xao indicated he'd inherited from Katya. As an infant she'd apparently been quite the crier. Knowing that made Laura want to pacify the boy even more. She tried her best to remind herself not to over indulge him, not to make things harder for Ellen once she and Sasha would leave at the end of the day, but she could never seem to stop herself. A single tear of his could melt Laura's heart and most times he was in her arms before he could let out more than a whimper. She was thankful that Ellen never seemed to mind.

The two women shared in their endless love for the children and somehow there was never a conflict. They both wished that they could have loved Katya with same mutually peaceful adoration, but their failure in that continued to haunt them.

Though his grief over Katya's death was heavy Bill found the courage to be strong for Laura. Sasha helped them move on in way that he knew they couldn't have done without her. Bill got used to being the father of an infant again rather quickly. He often found himself teaching the others little tricks and tips that he never imagined he would ever use again. Out of the four of them he was the only one with any experience with newborns and so he was often looked to when no one else knew what to do. While Laura and Ellen could be stubborn about wanting to figure things out in their own way Saul was never hesitant in asking for help and Bill was able to find joy in teaching him. He just wished that the others had been solely looking to him for parental wisdom. Sadly they also looked to him in order to gauge their own grief. He'd lost a grown child before; another young person just truly starting out in life. He knew that sometimes the fact that he'd already survived one child's death meant more to them than all of his fatherly insights put together.

Every time Bill took Sasha in his arms his heart became so full that it hurt.

"Shhh, it's okay little nugget," He would say as he gently shushed her cries. "Daddy's got you," He would tell her.

It felt both wonderful to be able to say the words and agonizing to know that he'd never gotten the chance to say them to Katya.

When Liam-Daniel first came home Ellen was so attached to him that Saul almost had to beg to hold him. On the off occasions when Ellen was too depressed or too tired to get out of bed to change the baby Saul jumped at the chance to fill in for her. Though he felt horrible for his wife he was happy to be there for his son. Saul loved watching Ellen care for Liam, but he cherished the rare times when she would take long showers or an unexpected nap and he would get the baby all to himself.

Saul said the boy's name often just to hear it out loud and every time he said it he internally thanked his daughter and her husband for the precious honor.

"Liam-Daniel Tigh; a fine name it is, son. A fine name if I ever heard one," He would say with a smile and a wink to the clueless infant.

Just as Saul had told Katya tales of Laura and Bill when she was a child he began to tell Liam-Daniel everything that he could think of about Katya and Alexi. Though Saul knew that the baby was far too young to understand he decided that he didn't want there to be a time when the boy didn't know his birthmother's name. He looked forward to the day when Sasha and Liam would be old enough to appreciate his stories. He planned to answer every question that they had about Katya to the best of his ability just as he had done for her years before.

In spite of the pain that Saul and Bill felt over the loss of their daughter they were both driven to forge forward by the sheer sight of their wives holding their children. Neither of them had ever thought that they would see the woman they loved with their baby in her arms. The safety, comfort and stability of their future became what was worth living for.

Liam was like Ellen's security blanket. She quickly became dependent on the warmth of his little body against hers. He was her comfort and her strength, her will to go on. He was the most priceless gift that she'd ever received and she could hardly stand to let him go for even a moment. Despite Saul's protests Liam wound up in their bed nestled between them so often that he wondered why they'd even bothered setting up a crib.

Though it hurt to have to step in for her daughter most things came fluidly for Ellen. Her instincts took over for the most part, but on days where she faltered or became overwhelmed Saul, Bill and Laura were there to help.

"Gods, Laura he won't stop," Ellen cried one late night as Laura dragged her nextdoor by the arm.

Laura and Bill had been woken up by a frantic call from the Tighs. They could hear poor Liam screaming in the background. When they rushed over Ellen was clutching the crying baby and had already worked herself up into a state of panic. Saul hovered nearby not knowing how to help. Once Bill convinced Ellen to hand Liam over to him Laura took hold of her by the elbow. Usually she was the one who couldn't stand to hear Liam's cries, but she knew that the baby would be fine with Bill. In the moment Laura was far more concerned with Ellen's frantic state. As Bill began to try his hand at calming the boy Laura dragged Ellen out into the hallway, into their neighboring cabin and out of earshot of the screeching infant.

"You need to step away for a second, Ellen. Get in here and calm down."

"He's been like that for hours. I can't help him. His temperature is fine, he's fed, he's warm. I usually know what he needs but not tonight…I can't do this…I can't…"

"Ellen, relax. I hate hearing him cry too but he's fine. Bill's got him. You know sometimes the Old Man just has the magic touch. He'll get Liam to calm down. While he does that you need to get some rest. Why don't you go sleep in the other room with Sasha? Let us take the rest of the night with Liam."

"I can't. I can't sleep if I know that he's upset."

"Ellen…"

"Laura, I can't take it when he's like this. I can't help but think that he's crying for her."

"Don't, Ellen," Laura warned with a roll of her eyes. She knew what was running through the sobbing woman's mind. "Please don't start. It's probably frakking gas."

"I used to watch videos of her as a baby. She sounded just like him. She could scream and scream…Lords, did she have a set of lungs on her. Just like Liam. I always thought…she must have been crying for you, Laura. Crying for a mother, crying for what she didn't have."

Laura's heart twinged within her chest, but she fought off the emotion for Ellen's sake.

"But Liam has a mother," She contended.

Ellen rubbed at her weary eyes and shook her head.

"She spent seven years without me," She lamented, continuing on with her morose blustering. "I was only a raider ride away and I didn't know that she existed for seven frakking years. I could have been there for her."

"You didn't know, Ellen," Laura consoled for about the hundredth time since Katya's death. She detested knowing that her daughter had felt so alone for the first few years of her life, but she wouldn't let the woman who had rescued the girl from that loneliness punish herself for not doing it soon enough. "Please, Ellen. Stop doing this. You had no idea. Once you found her you never let her go...You saved her, Ellen. Please don't do this to yourself anymore," Laura pleaded, but Ellen was hardly listening.

"I used to think that if I had only found out sooner I could have stopped her cries. I could have soothed her on those nights when she screamed and cried out for a mother who couldn't come to her. I was sure that if I'd only come to Alpha earlier she wouldn't have suffered so, she wouldn't have felt so alone…but maybe I was wrong. I can't help Liam. I can't stop his crying. Maybe I wouldn't have been able to help her either."

"Damn it, Ellen, that's enough," Laura scolded, fed up with the other woman's self berating. "You're overtired. The lack of sleep is making you crazy. You soothe that boy to sleep every night and he loves you. Babies cry. They cry all the time. There are good nights and bad nights. Tonight is a bad one. It's not your damn fault. Stop doing this to yourself, damn it!"

Ellen was spiraling. It was something she did on occasion. She had it together for the most part when it came to caring for the twins, but now and then something would trigger her and all of her woes would flood out until it was over.

"I can't stop. When he cries all I hear is her. When I can't help him it's like I'm failing her too. Maybe I did fail her," Ellen posed, her eyes tired and glazed over. "I thought I was doing my best all those years but I just loved her so much that I let it blind me…I didn't worry about being a good mother. I didn't care as long as I got to love her and she loved me back."

"For frak sake, Ellen," Laura snapped. "Stop it right now. The only proof that I need that you were good mother is that Kat told me so herself, over and over, dozens of times during the six frakking short months that I knew her. She told me every chance that she got. She thrived with you. She felt safe and she felt loved. You know that. Now stop second guessing it because the only frakking comfort I have over missing most of her life is that she had you in my place. And don't you dare doubt what kind of a mother you are to Liam because right now you're the only damn example I have!"

Ellen stared into space and blinked out half a dozen tears as she listened to Laura's emphatic words.

"I miss her," She whispered, unable to respond with anything else.

Laura let out a heavy relenting sigh.

The blue watery depths of Ellen's eyes seemed endless. Sometimes Laura hated to look at her. Facing Ellen meant seeing her own grief reflected right back.

"Go lay down with Sasha, Ellen," Laura instructed once again as she ushered her toward the bedroom. Ellen was exhausted and nothing was getting through to her anyway. The best thing that Laura could do for her was to help her get some sleep. "Bill and Saul will take care of Liam. I'll be on the sofa in case they need anything and I'll come get you in a few hours when he's hungry. Just go close your eyes...It'll be okay."

Despite rare nights like that, Liam was Ellen's reason to smile when she'd thought that she would never smile again. She would go on to smile for him. She would go on smiling because Katya needed her to. Ellen would give Liam everything that she wished she had the chance to give her daughter as a baby, hopeful that in some way it would make up for the seven years she'd missed with her. Ellen filled in for Katya the very best that she could and when she whispered 'mommy loves you' to Liam-Daniel she said it for the both of them.

Laura was astounded at how natural it felt to care for Sasha. All through the baby's' gestation she'd been terrified that she wouldn't know how to be a mother. She was afraid of doing everything wrong, of letting Katya down. She felt like she would be awkward, nervous and uneasy with an infant, but to her surprize it was the total opposite. The moment the baby was nestled on her chest it was the most comfort she'd felt since Katya's death. It felt like Sasha was made for her arms. Laura lived for the sight of the child's face. She melted at her sea-green eyes and soft skin. She'd been so worried about how she would interact with the baby, what she would say, how she would go about comforting her. When the time came those fears and worries vanished. Strings of loving words and hums flooded out of her lips and into Sasha's ears with no effort at all. Laura followed Ellen's example and for once she let her heart speak freely. She said everything to Sasha that she'd never said to Katya. She told her how beautiful she was, how special, how wanted and precious she was. She said everything that she felt, she said everything that she thought Katya would want to say but couldn't, and every night when she whispered 'mommy loves you' to Sasha she said it for the both of them.

When Laura found herself struggling now and then with things like baby rashes and nap schedules she relied on the help of Bill and the Tighs. The fear of failure was less terrifying knowing that there were others who just wouldn't let it happen. She looked to them to fill in the places where she lacked confidence and she trusted that the love that they had all once shared for their daughter would now fill the hearts of Sasha and Liam.

Once she started nursing Laura's burdensome monthly cycle that she'd been plagued with since resurrection naturally ceased. Though everything that she read warned that its absence was only a temporary side effect of breastfeeding she felt in her gut that it was done for good. Irksome as it had been, it had naturally served as an emblematic yet visceral reminder of her new life's truths. Her body had forced her to confront what her consciousness had missed out on. Now that she'd finally accepted it and all that it embodied she felt like that part of her life was finished. Her womb wouldn't cry for her child any longer.

When the twins had been out of the chamber for a few months Laura asked Tawny to remove her prevention implant. She wanted to be rid of it even if the removal went against the doctor's recommendation.

"We usually advise that a full year go by after cessation of menses for permanent implant removal. This doesn't even count. It only stopped because you're nursing Sasha."

"And how likely would unwanted conception be even if I wasn't, Tawny? Give me a break," Laura had scoffed. "This body may be slightly younger than the one I died in, but it's still practically middle-aged. What are the chances? It was virtually pointless to have it put in to begin with."

Laura could still remember the day Ellen had brought her to the clinic. She'd been embarrassed and in pain. Tawny had accidently shown her a section of her own medical records that blatantly documented the birth of her child. She'd seen it, shoved it in the back of her mind and covered it up with layers of denial and fear, accepting Tawny's lame excuse without question. When Tawny had suggested the prevention implant during the exam Laura had agreed without giving it much contemplation, her mind already numbed in defense.

"You might be right," Tawny conceded. "It was precautionary, but better safe than sorry in my book. Your family does have a tendency of beating the odds," She reminded with a shrug. "Look, Laura, I'm only giving you guidance based on standard protocol. There isn't any point in rushing its removal. Just wait to be totally sure."

"I am sure," Laura had insisted causing Tawny to frown at her stubbornness.

"Breastfeeding acts as a natural birth control, but it's nowhere near perfect," The young doctor warned. "I suggest waiting to see if your cycle returns after you're through weaning Sasha. If within a year it doesn't return at all and there are no signs of ovulation then you can get the device removed without any worry."

"You want me to wait a whole year?" Laura had jeered with narrow eyes. "And that's after Sasha is ready to stop nursing. Who knows when that will be? No. I'm done with this. I want it out."

Tawny was right; the implant wasn't causing any problems. There was no physical harm in waiting, but Laura knew that the device was there and that was enough of a reason for her. It existed deep within her as another haunting token. That part of her life was over and she'd missed most of it. She wanted every physical reminder gone; everything that she hadn't had a real choice in. It was time to let go and focus on all that she was yet to experience with Sasha.

"Why, Laura? Why risk it?" Tawny had challenged. "What's the point?"

Laura hated that she needed to explain herself, but she did it anyway out of frustration.

"My body was created and grown in a frakking lab, Tawny," She began with some misplaced venom. "I had a baby that was forced both in and out of me without my knowledge or consent. Then she was taken from me. My body was hooked up to mechanisms and controls that I still can't begin to understand, and she was rushed into the world, put into a frakking synthetic womb when she could have been safe inside me just a few months longer. It's over twenty years later and I just had to watch Sasha be delivered from the same kind of glorified frakking fish tank. You'll excuse me if I'm a little sick and tired of all the artificial intrusions and manipulations of everything in my life that should have been natural and sacred. I'm done with all of the technological interventions where this concerned. I know that none of it was your fault, Tawny, but do me a favor? Make up for the abuses and violations of the doctors and scientists who came before you and just help me. I don't want it anymore. It's my risk to take. I want it out."

Eventually Tawny reluctantly gave in.

"Fine. It's your body. You're right. I'll do it as long as you understand the risks, unlikely as they may be. You should know that it's not quite as easy to get those things out as it is to put them in. You'll be here in recovery for a few hours after on the day of removal. Plan to leave the baby with Ellen for the day."

When the day of the procedure came Tawny's warning proved to be an understatement. An unexpected complication arose. The implant had partially embedded itself within the surrounding tissue. It took longer than usual to remove and made the process a good deal more invasive and painful. Laura refused all anesthetics and painkillers. She had justified her choice by claiming that she didn't want anything entering her bloodstream that could keep her from nursing Sasha once she got home. Truthfully she knew that she was somehow using the pain to punish herself for a thousand misdeeds and failures.

She hadn't expected the removal to hurt quite so badly. The pain was wrenching, raw and deep. Her bare legs sweat and shook within the stirrups. To keep from screaming out she bit her tongue so hard that it bled.

"I'm almost done, Laura. Just try to breathe through it. I know it hurts. I'm so sorry."

Tawny apologized over and over as she worked. She hadn't foreseen the rare issue or that the extraction would be quite so difficult. She offered anesthetic about a dozen times yet each time Laura refused.

It had taken every bit of restraint that Laura had not to cry out it pain. Her fingers gripped and twisted the thin sheets beneath her. She had no hand to squeeze in support, but she'd wanted it that way. She'd asked Bill not to come. After a minimal argument he'd agreed to her wishes and reported to duty as usual. It was supposed to be a simple procedure. They planned that he would pick her up at the end of the day and then get the baby from Ellen on the way home. It wasn't supposed to be so hard, so traumatic. It wasn't supposed to trigger a thousand emotions that painfully bled out into the cold open ward air.

Laura knew that she wouldn't tell Bill all that she'd gone through. It would only upset him.

During recovery she lay on her side curled into a ball cramping and bleeding. She refused Tawny's recommendation of a short laser treatment to quickly repair the uterine wall. It would have meant a trip to the surgical bay and Laura couldn't stand the thought of being on the very table where she'd watched her daughter scream in anguish during some of the last precious minutes of her life. Though the doctor warned that it would take a minimum of two weeks to fully recover without the laser treatment Laura opted to heal on her own instead. She cried silently into the scratchy ward pillows as her mind raced with every inner twinge. She thought of her life back in Caprica City, she thought of her life within the fleet, and she thought of the mystical place beyond life that was still so hard to recall. Mostly she thought of her lost baby girl and of the newborn awaiting her at home. She drifted in and out of uneasy sleep and tried to block the clinic's lights from entering her eyes. Briefly during recovery she'd started to regret not having a hand to hold through her discomfort only to harshly remind herself that it had been her choice to bear it alone. When it felt as though a few aching lonely hours had passed she'd opened her eyes intending only to check the time. The clock was instantly forgotten when she found Ellen at her bedside with a cooing Sasha in her arms.

Laura's eyes immediately watered and Ellen greeted her with a small consoling smile.

"I know that you didn't want company, but Sasha just had to make sure that Mommy was okay," She'd half teased.

Laura smiled as Sasha's grin brightened in her presence.

"Who has Liam?"

"Sam," Ellen said with a feigned wince. After the babies came home she just didn't have any room left in her heart for the anger that she'd felt for Sam. She had to let the resentment go. She loved Liam and she wanted her oldest and dearest friend to share in the joy and light that the little boy had brought during a time of such darkness and loss. "Don't tell Saul," She'd added with a wink causing Laura to roll her eyes. Though Ellen had let go of her anger it Saul took much longer to get over his where Anders was concerned. "I just felt like we should come, see if you needed anything."

Laura gave the baby a warm and grateful smile that was really meant for Ellen.

"This is exactly what I needed," She said as she put her hand out in an attempt to touch her daughter's little foot. "Thank you."

Ellen leaned over the bed's rail and nestled the baby at Laura's side.

Laura remembered what Katya had once said about Ellen always knowing what she needed. She'd said that she could never tell if Ellen was reading her or if she was just that in tune with how she felt. Laura couldn't tell anymore either. Ellen so often knew exactly what she was feeling or thinking. They were connected in a way that she never imagined. It was both literally and figuratively worlds beyond their very first meeting at Bill's awkward dinner party back on Galactica. Laura tried to make sense of it for months after Katya's death, but as Ellen lay Sasha at her side that day in the infirmary she realized that she no longer cared to dissect their maternal bond. It just was, and Laura was grateful for it.

"So, how was it?" Ellen asked with a comforting but concerned smile.

Laura wrapped her arms around the warm bundle. Sasha felt so good nuzzled up beside her. The heat from her soft skin was enough to melt away the stale frigid infirmary air that had crept into Laura's bones. With the baby against her tired body even the ache that had been gnawing deep inside her began to fade.
"It was awful," She answered. "So awful."

Ellen wasn't surprised. She'd felt uneasy all day. Soon after Sasha was dropped off that morning she'd gotten a sense that something wasn't quite right with Laura. Her connection to the other woman could no longer be ignored and Ellen knew that she would never be rid of it. Something besides basic concern had driven her to make the trip and bring along a pleasant little distraction.

"It's over, though," Laura added with a sigh.

"Laura," Ellen tentatively started. "What if you...What if…"

"I won't," Laura had answered before she could finish.

Ellen bit at her lip.

"But what if…"

"I won't," Laura repeated with a stern insistence. She was sure. Somehow she knew. She had one baby in heaven and the other in her arms. That was it. "I won't."

Ellen hummed with a nod of acceptance, but Laura caught the fleeting yet distinct note of disappointment in her eyes.

"So, how do you feel now?"

"Now…" Laura said as she put her lips to the baby's head and kissed at her auburn curls. "I'm all better now."

LOCATION: PLANET EARTH; approximately 200 miles below the Orbit path of Alpha Space Station.

Six months after the babies came home they were deemed them fit for flight. It was then that plans were made to spread Blaze, Alexi and Katya's ashes. A day trip was scheduled to the planet to find a spot fit to scatter the remains.

The Agathons ventured out of their quarters for the first time in months. They'd become hermits, living in seclusion and rarely communicating with anyone on the station. They ordered their meals in and kept to themselves. They'd even given up trips to the gym and rec-room causing them both to lose significant muscle. Helo had thinned out, no longer the towering and statuesque Adonis he had once been. Sharon's posture had suffered and she no longer walked with her once powerful yet graceful gate. Though Saul and Bill did their best to keep tabs on the grieving couple they never pushed them to leave the confines of their cabin. Sharon and Helo were stranded in a strange world, in an unfamiliar time and they'd lost what had made it worth it for them. Their duty was over and their son was gone. No one expected them to move on or heal, but Saul and Bill hoped that laying Blaze to rest would at least give them a sense of closure.

On the day of the trip they all rode down into Earth's atmosphere in a large shuttle. Tawny joined them as did Sam without any protest from Saul.

They had no set destination except for a short stop to lay fresh flowers from the Beta grow houses at Margot's last known location. Pilots from Blaze and Katya's squadron flew the ship and were more than patient as the family members tried to decide on a landing spot.

The Agathons had no opinion on the matter. They just wanted Blaze to be with the people he'd loved. They put it in the hands of the others to choose.

After leaving Margot's flowers both Laura and Ellen asked the pilots to find a beach.

The shuttle flew over at least a dozen seashores but nothing seemed right.

Ellen couldn't find what she was looking for. She couldn't find their beach; the beach she had shared with her kitten. Nothing matched the golden pebbled sand or the calm cobalt banks that she and Katya had so often escaped to. Likewise, Laura failed to find what she'd imagined. She wanted a place that echoed the shoreline from her dream, the one that Katya had somehow brought her to in a precious shared projection. A few locations came close, but they never came across the right mix of white sands and green foamy waters. There was never the perfect amount of muted overcast or the right formation of rocks.

In a moment of disappointment and dejection the two women had locked eyes. As they sat across from one another in the shuttle, each with a blissfully unaware baby on their laps, they finally accepted that the places they were searching for existed only in their minds.

Without a word they jointly agreed to move on.

"L.T." Ellen called to the lead shuttle pilot. "We've wasted enough of your time. Any beach will do. Just take us anywhere there's water and sand."

Sam and Saul both gave her a concerned look that she ignored. She was ready to get it over with.

"We don't mind. Anything for Blazer and Koshka, but if you're sure, Ma'am," The pilot prompted.

"We're sure," Laura confirmed for them.

"If you don't mind a suggestion," The co-pilot chimed in. "I was planetside last week. I brought some passengers down to a small town currently under construction. It's located in the former United West sector in a valley they plan to use for farmland. There's a spot I have in mind not far from there, if you want to check it out? It's a short trip from the new town, close to the nearest mountain range."

"That'll be fine," Laura said with a nod, only half listening to the description. "Take us there."

The spot the pilots brought them to turned out not to be the coast of an ocean but rather the banks of a large lake. It was surrounded by evergreens and the air smelled of soil and pine. Off in the horizon beyond the forest were distant rolling mountains. The beach's sand was powdery soft under their feet and the water was so clear it was like looking through glass.

It wasn't what they had been looking for but it was just right.

The sun was low in the sky when they got there. It would soon start setting in the part of the globe they'd landed upon. Without much infrastructure close by the area would be in the pitch dark of night once it was gone. They had less time than they'd anticipated to do what they needed.

Helo and Athena went first. They wordlessly walked to the waterline and without much display they scattered Blaze's ashes into the glassine lake. They watched them wash away becoming part of the earth and sand below. No prayers were said, no rituals were performed. The couple simply held hands and when they were done they walked the banks nearby as they waited for the others to be ready.

When it was time to spread Alexi's ashes Saul held up far better than he'd anticipated. With Ellen and Liam at his side he was able to stay composed. As he sprinkled fistfuls of ash into the lake's depths he thought of Caprica. He was sending her a son to love forever in the ethereal beyond.

Once they were ready the Tighs asked Bill and Laura to join them. The time had arrived. With shaking handfuls the four of them let go of the contents of their palms and said a final goodbye to their beloved daughter.

With the babies nearby the tears were kept to a minimum. As the sun dipped lower they each seemed to wander off on their own, taking time to collect their thoughts.

Tawny and Anders stood together paying their respects and looking over the expanse of the beautiful body of water as the setting sun turned its surface stunning hues of gold and blush.

"Think she would have liked it here, Doc?" Sam had asked.

His question made Tawny let out an unexpected chuckle.

"I don't know. She'd never really seen anything like this...At least not for real," Tawny had shrugged as she stood upon the Earth for the first time. "It's...breathtaking."

"Yeah," Sam had sighed.

"Would Kara have liked it?" Tawny posed after a beat.

Sam looked out at the orange sun reflecting on the crystalline water and smirked.

"She'd bitch about the bugs," He joked. "And she'd complain that it was too damn humid," He added making Tawny softly giggle as she wiped away a tear. "But yeah…she'd like it. She'd like it a lot."

Tawny nodded, glad to know that they had found the right place.

Further down the beach Ellen had kicked her shoes off and walked into the ankle deep surf with Liam on her hip. The shallow water was warm from the day's summer sun so she dug her toes into the sand to feel the coolness hidden below. The amber pink evening was exquisite, but it would be gone soon and they would have to leave. Ellen didn't want to go. She wanted to walk forward into the mellow water where the ashes of her family danced within the currents underneath. She wanted to keep wading deeper in until she couldn't return, until she could truly join Katya wherever she existed. She wanted to do it. The pull was strong and for a brief moment she considered it- until the baby boy in her arms let out a tiny hiccup.

With her focus back on Liam-Daniel she took a few steps backward out of the water and onto the wet shore. Liam was getting tired. He needed a feeding and his bath before bed.

She decided to head back to the shuttle and wait for the others. Gritting her teeth, she braced for how hard it was going to be to leave, but before she could find the strength to go a familiar dulcet voice spoke from behind her.

"It really is a lovely spot."

Ellen nodded but she didn't turn around. Instead she stayed put and waited for Laura to join her.

Sasha slept soundly in Laura's arms, exhausted from the long day in flight.

"It feels almost familiar," Laura said softly. "I like it here...Do you?"

There was a long heavy pause before Ellen could respond.

"I told her...that I would bring her to Earth," She began, her voice already threatening to break. "And I told her that when we got here I would bring her to the beach. A real honest-to-gods beach. I told her that I would watch her in the water for the very first time. I told her over and over again. I promised her."

The woman's words were pain laced and actually ached on their way out of her throat.

Laura stepped closer to Ellen, but found herself too overwhelmed in the moment to speak to comfort her.

"She was always worried…" Ellen went on. "She was always worried about the water because she didn't know how to swim...and now…" She trailed off and let her tears flow quietly, careful not to scare Liam.

For a while they stood there faintly weeping in tandem.

"She loved you so much, Ellen," Laura managed to say as they both looked out at the mesmerizing sunset. "I was in awe of it, I envied it…but I always understood why."

Ellen gulped down the knot in her throat and hugged on tighter to Liam. The sun was almost gone behind the trees.

"She loved you too, Laura. That's what you still don't understand. She loved you from the moment she was born…I was in awe of that and boy did I envy it, but I always understood why. Always."

With her arms full Laura couldn't wipe her tears and so they fell freely onto the head of her sleeping baby.

Ellen glanced over at the melancholy baptism and smiled sadly.

"She really left us both with a precious gift didn't she?" She said with her lips gently brushing the top of Liam's head.

Laura glanced down at Sasha. Taking a deep breath of piney air into her lungs she nodded.

"So much life."

-end-


Please hit next for story Epilogue/Finale

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Chapter 35: Epilogue

Chapter Text

Alpha Station: A Battlestar Galactica 2003 Reboot

Epilogue

After the twins first birthday Bill and Saul began to talk about going down to the surface of Earth and building a house somewhere peaceful. Ellen and Laura were reluctant to the idea at first. They wanted to keep the children close to medical care and Ellen couldn't bear leaving the cabin where she had raised Katya. The thought of leaving Alpha was a painful one. No matter how much they had all wanted to get back to Earth Katya had always seen the station as her home. To leave it felt too much like abandoning a part of her to hover in space alone.

Eventually more rational thinking took over as the babies became mobile. Ellen and Laura started to see their husbands' way of thinking. The children were walking and had yet to set their feet upon the soil that their birthparents had lost their lives fighting for.

Bill promised Laura that moving to the surface would be the start of their new life together. He told her that it was finally time to build their cabin and to experience everything they'd missed out on before.

Eventually Laura and Ellen gave Bill and Saul the okay to begin having a house built on Earth.

On a shuttle trip down to the surface to choose a building site Bill and Saul used the trip as an opportunity to spread Helo and Athena's ashes.

Not long after spreading the remains of their son Sharon and Helo had decided to join him on the other side.

In the late hours of an ordinary night the sound of gunfire was reported coming from the Agathon's cabin on Alpha. When Bill and Saul rushed to their quarters they found them peacefully in bed together, each with a sidearm in hand and bleeding from the gut. It wasn't the first time the couple had used the tactic to get to their child.

As jarring of a site as it was the Colonel and the Admiral felt only relief and gratitude toward them. When they informed Laura and Ellen of the Agathon's death they had each just nodded as if they'd been expecting it, as if they weren't sure what had taken them so frakking long. Both men shuddered that day knowing that if their wives didn't each have a baby in their arms they might very well have done the same thing.

Saul and Bill spread the Agathon's ashes in the same lake that held the remains of their lost children. That day it became clear to both men that the serine shoreline would serve well as a place to build a home; a large family cabin.

With the help of loyal centurions and those who volunteered as a way to thank their saviors the cabin was built in only a few short months. Though it was relatively isolated it was only a short ride to a newly developing town located within the old United West. The area rested in a valley located southeast of a mountain range once known as the Smokies. The winters were mild and the summers long and bright.

The cabin was simple in design but quite large. Inside it was separated into two homes to give each couple privacy while still sharing living spaces so that the twins were always allowed to be together.

They made sure that the children ate together and played together and Laura taught them at the same pace during their lessons. They were two families but they were one.

Bill never seemed to stop working on the cabin. There was always a project to do; something to improve on, a shelf to put up, a basement to turn into a playroom. Ellen always joked that he broke things just to have something to fix, but in truth she knew that he took joy and pride in it.

There were many summer afternoons when Saul and Bill would take the twins to splash around in the lake.

They would toss the toddlers back and forth and delight in the sounds of their happy shrieks and laughter that echoed over the water and down into the valley. Further up on the banks Ellen and Laura would watch from their lounge chairs; Ellen in her swimsuit basking in the sunlight that she'd missed for so long, Laura hiding under a large brimmed sun-hat and shaded glasses trying not to burn. They would relax and watch on, waving and smiling now and then whenever a little voice shouted 'Hi mommy!' between splashes and kicks. Usually they would enjoy a pitcher of Ellen's latest concoction. Though she no longer drank to excess she found a new hobby in mixing delightful cocktails using the fresh ingredients that Laura and Saul grew in their backyard garden. It seemed as though Ellen was always having them taste some new berry, mint, ginger something or other, sure to pack a buzz that snuck up behind the innocent fruits and herbs.

"Why is this one pink?" Laura asked one summer afternoon as Ellen poured her a tall glass of that day's mixture.

"Strawberries," Ellen answered as she poured her own drink and placed the pitcher back down between the little table that sat between their beach chairs.

"Strawberries and what else?" Laura asked, skeptically sniffing at her cup.

"Strawberries and just drink it. You'll like it," Ellen winked before reclining to soak up more of the afternoon's golden rays. "Trust me."

Her projections had never truly mimicked just how good the warmth of the blessed star felt on her skin. She loved every moment of it and with every moment she wished that Katya had gotten the chance to know what it felt like.

"You're thinking of her," Laura said softly before taking a sip.

She watched Ellen's mouth curve into a sad little smile.

"Always," She replied.

It was true for both of them, but there were times they felt their daughter's absence more keenly than others.

Ellen's smile grew more joyful when she heard Sasha calling her.

"Auntie! Look!" The toddler called.

Ellen laughed aloud as she sat up to find Saul chest-deep in the water with Sasha on his shoulders.
She waved at them and blew a kiss their way.

"I see, rybka! I see you, honey! Not too deep, Saul!" She cautioned getting a giggle from Sasha and a muttering of dismissal from her husband who looked to be having more fun than both kids combined.

Bill gave her wave of assurance that they would be careful as always.

When he went back to dipping Liam's toes in and out of the gentle waves Ellen laid back in her chair.

With one eye opened she glanced over to find Laura sipping at her pink drink and staring at her with a gentle smirk.

"See?" Ellen prompted. "It's good, right?"

"It is," Laura agreed in more ways than one.

Somewhere along the line Ellen and Laura's codependency evolved into a true kinship, though neither could ever pinpoint when or how, and didn't care to. What had started out worlds before as utter distaste had shown up in a new life as resentment and jealousy. With a crushing loss it had morphed into a desperate reliance and eventually through shared milestones, late night talks, and family meals it had turned into eternal trust, respect and unconditional love. Their bond blossomed on and laid its roots down deep into the earthly soil.

Even with all of the pain that she still carried in her heart Laura found so much happiness in her new life. She adored her husband and she was completely enamored with their daughter. She loved their home and the unique family unit they shared with, Saul, Ellen and Liam. Though she never fully let go of her grief and guilt she found herself enjoying life more than she ever had before.

Despite her contentment Laura knew that there was a possibility that history would repeat itself. She often reminded herself that there was a chance that she could get sick again. She understood that in spite of having only lived a short time in her body, she wasn't technically a young mother. Any number of things could happen to her that would cut her time with Sasha short. She knew that Ellen feared it like a looming monster. Because of that fear, just as she had done with Katya, Ellen took it upon herself to nag Laura about self exams and keeping timley doctor's appointments. It wasn't that Laura didn't fear it herself, but her new life had brought her a built in sense of comfort and security. She knew that Ellen would never age, that as a cylon she had less of a chance of ever becoming ill and she knew without a shadow of a doubt that if anything were to happen to her Ellen Tigh would be there to raise her child once again. Laura slept soundly knowing that.

Ellen's joy was plaicable. It wasn't just Saul, Sam and Laura who could feel the love and happiness she felt toward Liam and Sasha. Cylon abilities weren't necessary to sense how full her heart was. It was evident to anyone who saw her. What was less apparent was the fact that with that joy she too continued to feel great sadness and a sense of guilt that she was never able to let go of. It lived deep inside of her exposing itself less and less as time went on, but never fully abating. Now and then it would rear its head unexpectedly and just as she had when it was still raw and new Ellen sought comfort in Laura Roslin, the only person who she knew understood the size of her regrets and the depth of her sorrow.

Though they continued to rely heavily on one another's support the stability of Earth helped them both to reinforce their marriages.
Saul and Ellen continued to bond over their son and his sister. They took pride in all the ways they'd grown as parents and as a couple. Thousands of years and they'd never given up. They often marveled over how a strange little girl had entered their lives and finally brought them the stability that their powerful love always needed but could never sustain for long. They eternally thanked the universe, thanked the gods, thanked Bill and Laura for bringing Katya to life and sending her into their hearts. They always missed her, but they never took the gift she'd given them for granted. They enjoyed every day together and with their family. No matter how trying or hard things got they were ever grateful. Together they were able to laugh and cry, learn and explore, love and be loved- both worn down, yet as whole as they'd ever been.

In their new home, and with their future brighter because of their little Sasha, Laura and Bill mended the wounds that Katya's death had inflicted on their marriage. Laura was once again able to accept Bill's comfort and offer hers in return. For so long she'd felt guilty in gaining joy from anything or anyone other than the babies. For a time they truly were her only reason for going on, but eventually she learned that it was okay to be happy, to take pleasure in other parts of life and to enjoy her time with Bill. They discovered new things about one another each day as they raised their daughter and lived a life they'd never dreamed possible.

Bill and Laura never stopped imagining a life with Katya. The short time they'd known her would never feel like enough. Though there wasn't a day that went by that they didn't wish that she were truly with them they took comfort in the pieces of her that surrounded them. They saw her in Saul and Ellen, they saw her in Liam and Sasha and most importantly they saw her when they looked at each other.

"Rrraiderrr!" Liam squealed, looking up to the sky from where he sat digging his little fingers into the wet sand as a cylon ship zoomed overhead.

"That's right, son," Laura heard Saul say as he flew Sasha around in his arms like a tiny rocket. "Very good. Raider," He repeated for the toddler.

She watched and chuckled as Bill knelt down, pointed to the ship in the air and began to eagerly tell the little boy what she was sure had to be some kind of explanation of thrust or lift or something that the young child couldn't yet comprehend.

As the kids went back to their splashing Laura watched the cylon disappear over the mountains.

"Ellen, why do they stay?" She asked for the first time, though she'd often thought of it since the war ended.

The cylons still helped with so many things. They aided in infrastructure construction on Earth, they still ran shipments from station to station and down to the planet. They even mined for resources and helped with new sustainable planetary farming ventures.

"Hmm?" Ellen hummed, eyes closed and arms stretching above her head, feeling the warm breeze wrap around her body.

"The raiders, the centurions...why do they stay? You've given them freedom twice over now."

Before moving down to Earth Ellen had ventured to the basestar with Sam. The two had done what they could to remind the other cylons that they were independently free, able and welcome to do as they wished. As a final symbol they reprogrammed the ship to function without the hybrid's brain. They set it to run fully on the collective of the stream and Ellen was finally able to allow the hybrid to rest in peace.

"Why not stay?" Ellen shrugged before turning over onto her stomach to tan her back. "Where would they go?"

Laura thought about it for a moment.

"Somewhere they could be independent," She suggested.

"And what would that get them?" Ellen posed, her cheek now pressed against the rattan of the beach chair. "They stay because they want to, because they've found that they continue to thrive beside us."

Laura bit her lip to ponder the explanation. Sometimes she still marveled at the fact that she shared even a whisper of the same traits that the cylon machines held. She'd long stopped denying them and the more time she spent with Ellen, the stronger they became.

"I'm not sure I understand," She admitted.

Ellen leaned up on her elbow and grabbed her glass from the table between them. It dripped with condensation and she rubbed it against her neck to cool down before taking a long refreshing sip. Placing it back Ellen finally looked intently up at Laura, trying to find her verdant eyes through her dark sunglasses.

"Vladi only spoke to Katya because she spoke to him first."

Though Laura flinched at hearing both names, Ellen went on.

"She inspired the parts of him that were turned on in order for him to care and to learn. Think about Sasha and Liam. They're just starting to use full sentences. If we never talked to them do you think that they would speak to us? No. Of course not. They wouldn't be able to speak period."

"So the raiders and centurions are like children?"

"I'm not saying that," Ellen said as she sat up a little further. "I'm saying that they do better when they aren't alone. They grow and learn and evolve in a much healthier and efficient way when they aren't isolated or ignored. Alone they stay stagnant…like anyone. They make mistakes that they don't know how or why they should fix. They can see that well enough. They get something from us and as long as they aren't being forced or abused they help us in return. Why are any of us here except for each other? Without the other souls around us life is pointless. There would be no one to love, to hate, to work for or take care of, to impress or chase after. Our lives mostly amount to the people we encounter and the interactions that we have with them. We are only here for each other. To experience each other. That's the only meaning of life I've been able to procure after all of my many, many, many years," Ellen finished before putting her head back down and nestling it into her crossed arms.

Laura smiled as she watched her so casually return to baking in the sun after such a magnanimous statement.

"You're so prolific, Elle," She teased as she reached for her drink and took another pink sip.

"Eh," Ellen sighed. "I'm just old."

They laughed together and spent the rest of the day, and so many others like it enjoying their husbands and children by the beautiful lakeside.

Not long after the family moved down to the surface Tawny decided that she could no longer efficiently keep her promise to Katya with them so far away. She had pledged to look after all of them, to keep a watchful eye on Katya's loved ones. Though she and Sam made frequent trips to the surface it never felt like enough. With the growing town nearby in need of a planetside doctor Tawny made plans to open a government run clinic. By the time Sasha and Liam turned two years old she and Sam were living on Earth.

Though they lived in town in an apartment above the clinic the couple often visited the family cabin for dinners or swimming.

Ellen and Laura were so relieved to have Tawny nearby once again. It wasn't just the convenience of her house calls to treat the twins colds, bumps and bruises. Having her around somehow made missing Katya easier. She always had a story about their childhood antics that would make them laugh and feel as though she and the others were still close. In turn Ellen and Laura were always there to support her as well.

Eventually the tension between Saul and Sam faded. They were able to reignite the friendship they'd once had on their old Earth. Sam helped Bill and Saul to build a fence around the garden and care for the grounds. He even gladly babysat when the couples needed some time to themselves. Sasha and Liam loved him and his visits were always welcome.

Tawny spent all the time with the twins that she could, busy as she was with her practice. Her clinic treated minor ailments and injuries, but she still performed operations and provided more intensive care to patients she shuttled to Alpha. She would often take the twins with her on her trips back to the station so that they could visit with her father.

Dr. Xao never expressed any intentions of going to Earth, not even for a visit. He felt that he was too old to change his ways and wanted to finish out the years he was able to work serving the remaining military population aboard Alpha Station. Xao loved visits with Sasha and Liam. He was their Yeye and the only thing close to a grandparent that the twins ever knew.

Sam eventually opened a research laboratory connected to Tawny's clinic. The facility specialized in studying centurion and raider development as well as cylon and human social interaction. As one of the only living humanoid cylons left Sam felt that it was pertinent to repair his reputation with the government. With his mind free of the uncontrollable thoughts and feelings that had plagued him during the war he was able to do so rather quickly. He became a government employee working as a liaison between cylon and earth human communications.

Once the twins were older Laura was busy with their schooling most days. Ellen began to travel into town to join Sam in the lab a few days a week. The two worked to ensure the fair treatment of cylons and any future AI on Earth and within Orbit. They actively worked toward creating cylon social programs which would provide aid to humans in daily tasks while also helping the cylons to developmentally progress organically through human interaction.

As more staff was brought on Sam and Ellen decided to begin a collective genome project intended to map the evolution of the current human race. It aimed to determine which qualities came from Cylons and Colonials and which came from native Earthing descendants. Their theory was that it would be harder to repeat history if the races understood how connected they truly were. It had all happened before, but maybe it didn't have to happen again.

Sam and Ellen became as close as they had ever been, once again working hand in hand in a field that they both found fascinating. As they had on their old Earth they shared details of their lives, traded advice and enjoyed each other's company. It was Ellen who finally convinced Sam to ask Tawny to be his wife.

A few miles from the town, down by the crystal clear lake the family continued to be comfortable in their home with all of its little faults and relatively basic construction compared to Alpha Station.

The creaky cabin doors made noise no matter how much Bill tried to fix them. They would always whine when opened slowly. Both Laura and Ellen had hated it when they still had toddlers in the house. They couldn't close a bedroom door without waking someone from a nap. Eventually they stopped trying to fix the sound. Nothing worked to ease the squeak of the hinges. They all became accustomed to it. It alerted them to comings and goings as the children grew. They listened for the creek, followed by footsteps that let them know just where everyone one was within the house.

Somehow the doors squeaked louder when it rained. The damp air of the waterside seeped into the hinges and made itself known. They'd all come to expect the sound of raindrops on the rooftop to be followed by the familiar creaking sound.

On late nights when it poured and the thunder clapped loudly over the water sooner rather than later, on one side of the cabin or the other, there was a slow whine of a door .

"Mommy?"

A little voice would follow.

"Hm? What is it, sweetie?" A tired one would call back.

"I'm afraid of the thunder."

"It's just the storm coming in over the lake."

"I don't like it. Can I sleep with you and Daddy?"

"Mmhmm, C'mon."

Little footfalls would patter in the dark and soon a warm little body would creep in between the sheets and shudder at the sounds of the storm.

"Don't be afraid, sweetie. Ignore the thunder. Just listen to the sound of the rain on the roof. Block the rest out until you hear nothing but the rain."

"I'm not scared anymore."

"Me either, sweetie."

"Night, mommy,"

"G'Night my baby."

'The end, so say we all'


** Please leave a review. This story has meant so much and so does all the feedback. It makes me feel like all of my time and energy meant something to others. All comments and all languages welcome!

Chapter 36: Author analysis + reader questions answered.

Chapter Text

Author analysis + reader questions answered.

Note: If you have a question not listed below in the Q&A section please feel free to leave it in a review or PM me. I will gladly answer you and then add it to the list for others to read. Likewise if you have anything you want me to add to the fic glossary I would be happy to do so.

If anyone was upset by the ending I truly am sorry you feel that way. I hope the notes below might help to explain. I had the ending for this story set before I ever started to type the first chapter so I really wanted to stay to true to it. I feel like though it wasn't the happiest of endings I tried my best to keep it in line with BSG's overall tone and spirit.

The Idea

Alpha Station was meant to be my vision for how I would have like BSG to be rebooted or continued. I found the series Caprica to be a big disappointment and Alpha Station was my way at filling the void. My husband and I re-watch BSG at least one or two times a year and every time it ends I find myself wishing there was more. Finally I just decided to make more.

Thematically Alpha Station focused largely on motherhood, the mother child connection, and nature vs. nurture. The symbolism of the family unit was largely used within BSG but some of it fell a little flat or felt overshadowed to me by the paternal relationships (Bill's, Helo's, even Saul's and Baltar's). The connection of Laura, Sharon and Caprica representing the old pagan image of the triple goddess often found in ancient religions was SO important and yet I'm not sure that it ever came through the way it was meant to. I like that aspect of the show so thematically I sort of went from there.

When I started writing I knew I wanted my main characters to be Laura and Ellen simply because they were my favorite in the series. I chose to expand on the idea of motherhood that they each symbolically represented within the series but this time throw them into it physically rather than figuratively. I took Ellen who as the 'mother of all toasters' always desperately wanted to be seen as a mother and explored how her experience might have been if given the chance. I then took Laura who sort of played the maternal companion to Adama's 'father of the fleet' role. While she was somewhat of an emblematic mother figure, especially when looked at within the Laura/Sharon/Caprica feminine triad she never voiced any response to that one way or the other. Though Laura did have characteristics such as her protective nature and love of teaching children which could arguably be called "maternal", she had an enormous fear of the type of love and connection that the term usually embodies. I thought it would be interesting to expose both women to the same experience. One looking at it as a dream come true and the other being confronted with unwanted fear and uncertainty and see how it went.

The fic was always meant to be about those two women and the women around them and how they each responded when put in similar situations. To me none of their feelings were wrong and none of them were right. They all had complex emotions and responses that were fun to explore.

The fic was NEVER meant to imply that women are not complete without experiencing motherhood. In contrast I hope it showed that every woman is different and has different feelings about the idea in general all of which are valid. Since motherhood was the chosen theme and circumstance I just wrote how I felt they would navigate the idea of a maternal role as closely to their original character as I could.

Strangely and unexpectedly during the course of this 3+ year experience I became a mother myself. During that time I dealt with a lot of my own emotions surrounding becoming a mom. Sometimes I think it helped me write this story more authentically and sometimes I feel like it made it harder. It certainly took my focus away from my hobbies and for that I have to say I'm sorry and thank anyone who stuck with this fic from the beginning for not giving up on it.

A note about Ellen Tigh:

Over the last few years I have gotten some comments and reviews complaining about how sympathetic the story was to Ellen. All I can say to that, is I'm sorry if you don't like that character but Alpha Station is half her story and was always meant to be. I feel like so many people remember her from early on and how she was during the early seasons and they forget the complex women who resurrected.

I am so grateful that I got to meet Kate Vernon at Dragon*Con 2017 in Atlanta, GA, USA. She was sweet, funny and so beautiful and just a joy to talk to. I told her that I loved Ellen, that I always defend her and will keep doing so. She kind of sighed and said "Thank you. She really needs it." I thought it was so funny. We also met Michael Hogan who was the nicest guy ever and gave a dozen hugs. So unlike Saul it was crazy. I felt blessed to have met these actors who portrayed these characters who continue to be such a huge presence in my life.

Q & As

Q: Why no Caprica Six?

I chose not to include Caprica for a few reasons. The first was that I didn't feel like I could believably write for the character. I have tried in shorter fics and felt I failed. I had no interest in bringing back Baltar because I know for sure that I can't write for that man to save my life. Their family unit's story lived on through their son and luckily their absence served as one of the major conflicts with the plot. If I had to do it again I may have made a different choice, but at the time I felt like Caprica's resurrection would add too much conflict to Ellen and Saul's already complex lives. To make sure the Tigh's story was told to the best of my ability I had to leave Caprica on the other side even though the character largely fit into the way the initial series looked into the theme. I did my best to keep her alive in other ways and include her as much as possible without having her directly in the mix.

Q: Where did the idea of Katya come from? Why is she such a bitch? (yes, I got this question a lot!) Why is she Russian?

I knew that this fic would need a cast of original characters, most importantly Roslin and Adama's child who was ultimately raised by the Tighs. Before I could even get into who I thought that person would be I started with a simple model. Whatever/ whoever you believe Katya ultimately was she was always meant to at least "echo" Kara Thrace.

I started with Starbuck's brashness, aggressive nature and erratic immature behavior and then expanded. My second influence was Kendra Shaw from the BSG movie Razor. If you missed it find it and watch it. It's so worth it. I wanted Katya to have an elegance and stoicism to her that Kara lacked in order to give her more of her own unique identity. I took a few of those elements of Kendra Shaw and used them in creating Katya. That sense of having grace and refinement was meant to stop her from being seen as just a Kara stand in. It also in some ways was meant to show a natural inheritance of qualities from Roslin and Adama while her humor, addictive personality and short temper showed learned behavior from the Tighs further touching on the nature vs. nurture element. Most of her anger is from her harsh beginnings and the depression that follows her because of that. I had to think about what sort of child the Tighs would raise, but also keep in mind that she had a set of biological parents as well as a foster father for her early childhood. I'm not sure she came out very likeable. She sure got on my nerves quite a bit but that was the point I suppose. BSG had a way of making its audience find love for imperfect characters who walked the line of morality every week. I tried my hand at this but it's not easy. I loved Kara Thrace even though I found her immature and obnoxious a lot of the time. I can only hope that Katya inspired similar feelings from readers.

I chose to give Katya an Eastern European background for a few reasons. One, I wanted her to have a distinct noticeable heritage from Earth. I tried to think about what region was least like any culture we saw on BSG. The colonies had a lot of Asian, American, European and Celtic elements to their cultures so I wanted something different that made her distinct to this world so I chose to make her vaguely Russian/ Polish/ Slavic.

Q:Why didn't you write Lee into the mix?

I hate him (also it really would have complicated things with the Kara/Katya connection) Anyways, yeah, I hate him so he stayed dead. Unless its Lee & Laura smut, I’m not interested in him lol.

Q: Why did you make Bill and Laura resurrect into slightly younger bodies?

I think some readers felt weird about this. I didn't do it because I wish that Roslin and Adama had been younger during BSG or anything like that. This was used as a tool mostly when it came to Laura adjusting to her new body. It never had much to do with Bill at all. Also the discrepancy in age was meant to be very minimal. It was really a range of maybe 1-5 years difference. As Laura struggled to adjust to Alpha/ Orbit and the news of her child her new cloned body served as a constant reminder how much was truly different within her new life. Her new body still had a fertile cycle that became an issue a few times in the story. I had a few people ask why I would choose to focus on it and also voiced that they thought it was foreshadowing for the coming of another biological child. I saw it as a repeating reminder that her body was not the one she'd died in. It was a constant reminder to her that it had born a child before she ever resurrected. It was mostly symbolic and almost as if her body was making sure that she confronted the fact that she conceived and gave birth to a child, even when her mind struggled to grasp it. It's a physically and emotionally painful reminder that she suddenly can't escape no matter how much she tries.

Q: Would you allow someone to write Alpha Station fanfic?

This is another question I have gotten now and then over the last few years. It's probably the most flattering thing to hear for a fanfic writer. All I can say about this topic is that BSG:2003 which this is a fanfic of, was in itself a fanfic of the original Battlestar Galactica. How can I tell people not to write their own fanfic based on my story when I just took RDM's story and did so, and before that he took the 1978 show and basically did so as well? I can't stop anyone from doing this nor do I want to. I will miss this story so much and I would love to see it live on in some way whether it be deleted scenes, side stories or sequels. I have precious little time to spend on fanfic these days with my son around so I would not be upset to see the world I created being expanded upon.

All I ask is to be credited with my ideas (original characters and settings) and that Alpha Station either be linked back to or directed to in some way. If anyone wants to let me know before they do this I suppose I would be thankful for the heads up too.

Q: Is Katya meant to be Kara?

We never knew what Kara Thrace was in the end so let tradition stand. What do you think?

Q: Is Vladi meant to be Leobin?

Good question. I don't know. What do you think?

A Note about the BSG fandom and fanfiction in general:

It saddens me to see that the Battlestar Galactica fanfiction has slowed down so drastically over the last few years. I feel like I so often look for something new in the fandom to read and most often have to re-read an old favorite. BSG has been one of my favorite shows of all time and I really hope to see more related fanfic in the future. I want to encourage anyone who is thinking of writing a BSG fic to try your hand at it and give it a go! If you have written fics before and think you want to start again, go for it! I promise that if I read your fics I will always leave some kind of feedback. Please keep in mind that any fanfic you read on this site is 100% FREE content that someone worked hard to create. If you spent 3 mins reading or 3 years that content entertained you for that point in time so please consider you reviews, likes, feedback, follows and favorites as your way of paying for that content that you consumed. I think if we all did this it would encourage writers to continue writing and in turn we would have more fic to read in our favorite fandoms. Just my opinion.

Alpha Station Edits

The size of this story made it very hard to edit for posting. I could not burden a full time Beta reader for it due to each chapter being the size of the average full fic. Because of this I will continue to fix mistakes and edit typos and the like whenever I find them in back chapters.

Thanks so much and Goodbye for now:

I don't think I can properly express my thanks to those who have taken the time to read this story and let me know what they thought. This story has been my favorite hobby and my favorite escape from reality for the last few years. It helped me get through my father's illness and then his death. It helped me transition into being a mom and accepting my new life when it was really hard to do so. I think it helped me grow as I writer and delve in deep to explore a range of emotions. I will truly miss thinking of new scenes, situations and dialogue. I will miss the characters and the station as well. Mostly I will miss sharing it with all of you who cared and invested any time into reading Alpha Station.

I don't think that I will ever write something quite as lengthy as Alpha Station ever again, but I hope that one day soon I might be able to add to the BSG fandom's fanfic again in a new way.

Thank you so much for your encouragement and support over the years.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Please review and let me know your final thoughts. All comments in all languages are welcome and appreciated.

xoxo

LLA

Chapter 37: Character Bios and Glossary + Deleted Scene

Summary:

Character Bios and Fic Glossary plus bonus deleted scene!

Chapter Text

ORIGINAL CHARACTER BIOS

Tawny Lian Xao

At the start of Alpha Station Dr. Tawny Xao is 27 years old. Her father, Dr. Ning Xao is Alpha's chief military doctor. Her mother, an Orbit Patrol Captain was killed by airBots when Tawny was two years old. Tawny and Katya Isakoff formed a close relationship as children. They spent much of their time together aboard the station as their fathers worked closely as part of a special league of military scientists. Tawny was an accomplished gymnast as a child and young teen but was far more dedicated to her studies and following in her father's footsteps. She finished her general studies by age 14 and then started her advanced studies in biology. At age 17 she joined the military with parental permission. After her basic training and a year of varied assignments she was able to start her medical studies and a clinical apprenticeship in order to become a military physician. She did residencies in both the civilian medical center and Alpha's military infirmary. At age 23 Tawny officially became a second lieutenant and Orbit Patrol's only female medical doctor serving aboard Alpha Station. Through the story Tawny is dedicated to her work. She does not have much of a personal life and sacrifices a good deal of her time to help others. Her planetary heritage comes from the area of the Eastern Republic sector. Tawny is fluent in the old language of the region.

Ning Xao

Dr. Ning Xao is a small man in his early 70's at the start of the story. He has been serving in the military since he was 16 years old and has earned the rank of major. Through Orbit Patrol he studied biology and eventually became a medical doctor. Xao was married to an Orbit Patrol pilot. They had one child, a daughter named Tawny Lian. Xao's wife was killed during an air battle leaving him to raise their 2 year old alone. He never remarried. When the Earth Orbit Committee was first contacted by the Tighs, Xao was selected as part of a team of scientist chosen to work with the cylons. Xao was initially wary of the cloning project. Saul and Ellen Tigh insisted that it was pertinent to fulfilling the prophecy meant to save the people of Earth Orbit and Xao finally agreed to help in the process. Though it conflicted with his morals he participated in the creation of the bodies and worked in Alpha's lab with Dr. Mikhail Isakoff.

Because of his moral compass the rest of the team of scientists and the government officials involved decided to leave Xao out of the decision to try and speed up the prophecy by means of creating genetic offspring from the cloned bodies. Xao was only told of what had been done once it was already well underway and unable to be stopped. When he was informed he made his opposition and distaste for the matter known but agreed to provide medical care for the baby created using Roslin and Adama's bodies.

As Tawny and her friend Katya grow up and become young women Xao acts as a paternal figure and mentor to both girls.

Ning Xao is originally from Beta Station but was stationed on Alpha when he first enlisted in the military. His planetary heritage comes from the area of the Eastern Republic Sector. Xao grew up speaking the old language of his region at a time when it was once commonly used on Beta Station. Though the Orbit government eventually decreed a universal language Xao taught his traditional language to his daughter and passed on much of his culture to her. He has a sister named Lian who practices holistic medicine on the civilian side of Alpha Station. Other than his dedication to his work he is known for his short stature and his love of Beta wine.

Blaze K. Bishop

Blaze Kyle Bishop is the second child born within the descendants program. At the start of Alpha Station he is 21 years old and turns 22 several chapters in. He is the biological son of Sharon Agathon and Karl C. Agathon which makes him a Colonial-Cylon hybrid. He was born on Beta station and raised by his "creator" Dr. Kyle Bishop. Though generally well taken care of as a child Blaze was subjected to experiments performed by Dr. Bishop and his staff. He notably participated in a yearlong trial living only on water and a daily pill meant as a dietary supplement. Later he participated in a study with Margot and Alexi meant to examine their cylon ability to project in order to create ways for Earth humans to activate the lost ability. The trauma from these experiments is largely repressed by Blaze as he grows older.

Dr. Bishop was killed when Blaze was 12 years old. Orphaned Blaze was sent to live on Gamma Station with Dr. Petrov and his adoptive son Alexi. The two boys were raised as brothers until Petrov was killed in a station raid. At 14 years old Blaze moved with Alexi to Alpha Station. Saul and Ellen Tigh took over legal guardianship of Blaze and Alexi though both boys lived in junior officer's barracks while they continued their general studies.

Sports and academics come easy to Blaze and he finds joy in most things that he does. Blaze took an interest in medicine at a young age but his drive to join the military to make a more immediate impact won out. Though he began training as a physical therapist he ultimately decided to ask the Tighs for permission to join Orbit Patrol at age 17. They agreed to sign on his behalf and he began basic right away. As a talented pilot Blaze quickly made first squadron and earned his call-sign "Blazer" for his speed and agility in flight.

Blaze is known for being friendly, jovial and very humorous, often finding it difficult to be serious even in the most dire of circumstance. He is an asset to Orbit Patrol and continues to use his knowledge of anatomy and sports medicine to provide therapy to fellow pilots injured in the line of duty. Blaze lives with an unrequited love for his friend Katya. Though the two have a short romantic union as young teenagers Katya falls in love with Alexi who Blaze considers his brother. Blaze has never quite been able to get over his feelings for Katya though he treats the couple with the utmost respect and is the witness at their wedding. His adopted heritage comes from mainly from the United West where most of 's ancestors fled from.

Blaze is very tall with broad shoulders. His muscled frame could be seen as intimidating if it weren't for his pleasant and sometimes goofy demeanor. His hair is dark and his eyes are a clear chestnut hue. Ellen finds Blaze's features to be a perfect mix of Sharon and Helo just as their daughter Hera had been. Blaze has several tattoos including the symbol of his home station, Beta (β)on his left bicep and the word "luna" on the back of his right shoulder.

Yekaterina "Katya" Natalia Isakoff

Katya is the first child born in the descendants program. At the start of the story she has recently turned 22 years old and is a newlywed having married her childhood sweetheart, Alexi Petrov. Katya is the biological child of Laura Roslin and William Adama. She was born aboard Alpha Station and raised by Dr. Mikhail Isakoff. The scientist kept his adopted daughter close. As a result she spent much of her first years within the very lab she was born in, observing her biological parents in their stasis tanks and learning from the lab staff. Though generally well taken care of as a child Katya was subjected to experiments performed by Dr. Isakoff and his staff. After the descendants program was eventually deemed a failure the experimentation became the only use the scientist could find for the four children. As a five year old Katya was forced to endure a yearlong trial living only on water and a daily pill meant as a complete dietary supplement. The trial left a lasting impact affecting Katya's ability to efficiently discern hunger.

Katya was a lonely child who often pined for her absent parents, especially her lifeless mother. She found a friend and role model in Tawny Xao but was often seen as a pest being 5 years Tawny's junior. Dr. Isakoff did his best to train his daughter to suppress unnecessary emotion and as a result she became rather cold and distant as a young girl. Katya started ballet instruction almost as soon as she could walk. Her father believed it would teach her discipline and how to work through pain. Katya has a great talent for the craft and before her military career ballet was her main focus. When Katya was 7 years old an enemy station ambush resulted in the death of her adoptive father. She was hidden in a closet within the lab during the event and witnessed the violent murder. After hearing word of the doctor's death and the near destruction of Roslin and Adama's bodies Saul and Ellen Tigh came to Alpha Station from where they had been living for eons aboard their basestar. They learned of Katya's existence and the existence of the other children. They adopted the girl right away and made the permanent move to Alpha. Katya quickly warmed up to the Tighs finding in them the loving parents she always wanted. She became extremely close to Ellen having never experienced a mother figure before. Saul began to share stories of Galactica and taught the girl about her birthparents and their ancient journey. Katya developed an affinity for flight through Saul's tails of her biological brother, Lee and his squadron. The Tighs reignited Katya's interest in her biological parents and she began to long to meet them again. Saul and Ellen quickly formed a family with Katya and she was able to find happiness that she had never known before. As Katya's adoptive parents the Tighs are prone to spoiling her in attempts to make up for her treacherous beginnings. Katya maintains a strange love for her late adoptive father even after realizing the scientist's crimes. As child she suffered from vivid dreams and night terrors centering around his horrific death.

Katya has minimal cylon abilities inherited from her biological mother's cylon infused genetics. After her adoption Ellen Tigh helped Katya to hone her cylon traits and accept them as part of her life. As Katya got older her disposition darkened. Adolescence brought the realization of how she came to be and the failure of her creation. She began to understand that she and her peers were the products of glorified medical rape. The Tighs struggled through Katya's teen years as she became prone to angry temper tantrums, altercations, bouts of severe depression and self harm. They helped her as best as they could and offered her their unconditional love and acceptance.

By the time she was fifteen Katya had fallen in love with Alexi Petrov. The two bonded over their shared experiences and their adoptive Earth heritage. As she got older Katya advanced in the world of ballet. She danced the lead in many performances but ultimately came to feel as though she was wasting her time. After she completed her general studies she began training as a biologist within the very lab she grew up in. At 17 Katya was eager to join Orbit Patrol and begin training to become a pilot. Though Ellen was wary of the danger she and Saul agreed to sign on the minor's behalf and Katya began basic flight. She was kept aboard Alpha Station and started service as a patrol pilot. Her adoptive father's childhood pet-name and Ellen's affectionate term of endearment, 'kitten' became inspiration for the Katya's call sign, Koshka, meaning 'cat' in the old Eastern Federalist language. It fit her flight style which was seen by her CAP as smooth, agile and slick with almost feline reflexes. Though Orbit Patrol became Katya's priority she often still volunteered in the lab in order to care for the bodies of her birth parents during times when they were out of stasis. Katya moved up the ranks quickly and was promoted to captain just days after her 21st birthday. Not long after her promotion she and Alexi asked the Tighs for permission to wed in order to get their own private quarters. With Alexi still not yet a legal adult according to Orbit Law the 20 year old needed the signatures of his legal guardians to become Katya's husband. The Tighs agreed and the two were married months later in a simple ceremony.

Katya's adoptive heritage comes from the old Eastern Federation sector on Earth. Dr. Isakoff and his family held true to much of their Earth culture and raised Katya to take their traditions and language as her own. Katya is known for being loyal and loving deeply but her short temper and her reputation for being a spoiled brat often prevent others from seeing her better qualities. Many find her emotionally immature for her age though in contrast she almost never runs from responsibility or obligations which makes her highly reliable. She loves children and volunteers as a science tutor within the Earth Orbit Education System.

Katya is fairly tall with an elegant gate, long legs and a lean muscular frame due to her years of classical ballet training. Her hair is black, full and kept long. She has fair skin inherited from her birthmother and dark blue eyes inherited from her birthfather. Though she passes well as an Eastern Federalist Saul often notes that she looks undeniably Tauron. She has several tattoos including an A at the base of her neck as tribute to her home station. She also has the old Cyrillic word 'doshka', meaning daughter, tattooed over her right ribs and the silhouette of a cat against the moon on her left ribs.

Alexi Petrov

Alexi Petrov was born on Gamma Station as the third child in the descendants program. He is the biological son of Gaius Baltar and Caprica Six. He is 21 years old at the start of the story and newly married to his childhood sweetheart Katya Isakoff. Alexi is raised on Gamma by his 'creator' and adoptive father Dr. Dmitri Petrov. Like his peers in the descendants program Alexi is subjected to experiments during his childhood once the hypothesis of his potential use is deemed a failure. Many of these tests and trials center on his half cylon, half colonial genetics. Alexi is a solemn and brooding child who rarely smiles. At a young age his adoptive father teaches him about his biological parent's role in the ancient origin stories. Alexi internalizes their faults and becomes bitter and ashamed of his birthparents even as a child. He his brilliant, especially in the realm of mathematics but downplays his abilities, often claiming them useless as infallible computers are readily available. His embarrassment over his intellect largely stems from wanting to distance himself from his supposed genius birthfather. When Alexi was 11 years old Blaze came to live with him on Gamma Station. The two were raised as brothers and Blaze was able to influence a sense of humor in Alexi. When Alexi was 13 Gamma Station was attacked and infiltrated by bots who kill his adoptive father and destroyed the cloned bodies of his birthparents eliminating his chances of ever knowing Caprica Six or Gaius Baltar. Alexi and Blaze moved to Alpha station and the Tighs became their legal guardians though they live in junior officer's barracks while they completed their general studies. Alexi began a relationship with Katya Isakoff and the two fell in love. He developed a strange but loving relationship with Tighs who he feels are the only parents any of them need. Though Saul is often hard on the boy due to his romantic relationship with Katya the colonel has a special affinity for him stemming from his old relationship with Caprica. Wishing to be of some use to his people Alexi decided that he wanted to join the military. Though he was told that a successful career in virtually any area of engineering would be easy for him Alexi had no interest in pursuing anything of the sort and vowed to protect his people. At 17 Alexi asked Saul and Ellen to sign a waiver allowing him to enter the military before he was of legsl age. They did so and he began boot camp right away.

Alexi is a dutiful soldier. He joined the marines and eventually became a platoon leader. Deciding that he wanted to start his life with Katya in their own home Alexi suggested that they get married in order to be given private quarters. Katya agreed and with the Tigh's permission they applied for a marriage application. They married several months later.

Alexi uses his skills in mathematics by volunteering as a tutor within the Earth Orbit Education System. He teaches several school aged children on his off time.

Though Alexi is half cylon he rarely uses his abilities. He is quite tall; obviously inheriting his height from his birth mother along with many of her other features like his nose and sky blue eyes. The only notable physicality that Baltar passed down is the boy's dark hair color. Alexi is passionate about weightlifting and exercise. His muscles are large causing him to look rather hulking in or out of his marine gear. He has the symbol of Gamma Station (Γ) tattooed on his back.

Margot Renee Le Blanc

Margot Le Blanc is the fourth and last child born within the descendants program. She is the biological daughter of D'Anna Biers and Samuel T. Anders. She is the only one of the four children who is fully cylon. She was born on Delta Station almost a full 10 months after Katya Isakoff who was born first. When we meet Margot in the story she is 21 years old. Margot is raised by her adoptive mother and 'creator' Dr. Michelle Le Blanc who serves as the lead scientist for both the prophesized cloning program and the descendants program. When Dr. Le Blanc's hypothesis surrounding the children is deemed a failure she finds use for Margot and her peers by subjecting them to a series of tests and experiments. Margot is used for many trials by her adoptive mother and the other Orbit scientists. At four years old Margot is made to undergo a trial in which she lives on only water and a pill meant to be used as a complete dietary supplement. The trial was considered a success but left Margot with the inability to properly sense hunger. She adapted to the handicap, training herself to set meal alarms and staying mindful of the time in order to keep up with proper nutrition. Margot's cylon abilities were also regularly studied as a child.

Despite being subjected to questionable experiments Margot was otherwise well taken care of by Dr. Le Blanc. Though Michelle Le Blanc's parenting lacked warmth and sincerity she made sure that Margot was provided the best childcare and education possible. As a child Margot was friendly and outgoing. As an adult she has a sweet, polite disposition and is knowing for being extremely helpful. Though she was made fun of by other children at a young age for being a cylon she overcame the ridicule with her cheerful personality and became quite popular. Margot has many friends but maintains a close relationship with Katya Isakoff when they are able to visit each other. Katya Isakoff briefly lived with Margot and Michelle Le Blanc on Delta Station following Dr. Isakoff's death. When Katya was adopted by the Tighs Margot developed a secret jealousy. She was fascinated to meet two other full blooded cylons and felt a kinship with Saul and Ellen. She envied Katya at first for getting to live with them. As time went on the envy grew as Margot experienced Ellen's relationship with Katya and finally witnessed true love and maternal warmth she never knew that she was missing from her adoptive mother. Though Margot hid her feelings well Ellen was able to read her and eventually she took the girl under her wing. At fifteen she broight Margot to the cylon basestar for the first time to get acquainted with the stream's technology and explore her roots. The ship became a home away from home for Margot but as a result her adoptive mother became even more distant and cold. Margot is a talented athlete and plays most station sports in spite of her mother's opinion that they are a waste of time. Margot was a bright girl and did well in her studies but often felt pressured under her mother's heavy guidance. Though she grew up on Delta; the epicenter of arts and entertainment in Orbit, Margot fell in love with the world of math and science. After her general studies were completed she started training in network engineering and communications. When Katya, Blaze and Alexi all joined the service Margot was inspired to do the same in order to help her people. Her mother urged her to complete her academics first but eventually she gave in and signed waiver granting the girl permission to enter the military before she was of age. Margot joined the armed forces and her unique understanding of both cylon and human engineering was quickly noticed. She continued her studies through the military academy and eventually became a communications specialists and cylon network liaison.

Margot maintains her pleasant disposition in spite of her rapidly deteriorating relationship with her adoptive mother and lingering trauma over how she came to be. Margot often feels set apart from the other three descendants. She feels inferior as her birthmother was a replacement when Kara Thrace could not be cloned. She also develops a complex over being the only child not born to a couple who was previously romantically involved. Margot is sociable and pretty. She attracts the eye of many young women on Delta station but eventually becomes interested in Alpha scientist, Dr. Sydra Kahdim during her frequent trips to the station. Her adoptive heritage comes from the sector of the Central Union. As was common in the sector she and Le Blanc speak various old languages all which are considered dead by Orbit standards. Margot is of above average height with a sturdy gate and lean athletic build. She bears a striking, almost eerie resemblance to her birthmother. Her light blonde hair, cool grey eyes and youthful appearance are among the only features that truly distinguish her from her forbearer. She has one tattoo, Δ, the symbol for Delta on the inside of her right wrist which she got on her 21st birthday, the day she became a legal adult in Orbit.

Milos Isakoff-Lipovsky

Milos is Katya's adoptive cousin and an unseen is the son of Mikhail Isakoff's sister Yelena. Milos and his family live on Gamma Station and run a private distillery making vodka in the old tradition of the Eastern Federation region. He is sometimes involved in unsavory business deals which Saul overlooks in exchange for frequent shipments of complimentary bottles of the Isakoff family's liquor. Before Mikahil Isakoff's murder Milos and his adopted cousin Katya played together on holidays and special occasions. He was considered their grandmother's favorite as she refused to accept Katya as a true part of the family. After his uncle was killed Milos and his mother Yelena, Katya's adoptive aunt, made it a point to keep a friendly familial relationship with her.

Yuri Petrov

Yuri Petrov is the nephew of Dr. Dmitri Petrov and Alexi's adoptive cousin. He grew up on the civilian side of Alpha Station but took ballet lessons with Katya from a young age. The two always worked well together and eventually they became dance partners in many performances.

Slip-Shot

Slip-Shot, known only by his call-sign, is an Orbit Patrol pilot in Luna Force squadron.

Lian Xao

Dr. Lian Xao is and unseen character and the sister of Dr. Ning Xao. She is a civilian doctor who works as a holistic healer using many traditional practices from her ancestral Eastern Republic sector. She is considered very good at what she does and is highly trusted. Ellen often brought Katya to her as a child. Tawny and her father frequently recommend their family member's services in addition to their own care.

Dr. Diaz

Diaz is an unseen civilian medical doctor. She is a specialist in her field and works in the women's ward of the civilian medical center.

Li-Ming Swon

Li-Ming is the child of Alexi's former drill sergeant. Alexi and Katya are friendly with the girl's parents and have known her since she was born. During her appearance in the story she is three years old, shy but bright.

Commander Robert Kaplan

Robert Kaplan commands Alpha Station's military base at the start of the story. He is a stoic but good man in his 50's and has commanded the station for the last 13 years. He expects a lot from his officers and crew but treats them like family. He is very tall, almost unnaturally so and totally bald. He has light skin and blue eyes with a presence that demands respect and shows his authority. Though he can be intimidating he can also be friendly and personable when off duty. He maintains a friendly relationship with Saul Tigh and his family.

Dr. Michelle Le Blanc

Michelle Le Blanc is a military biological engineer from Delta Station. At the start of the story she has been working as the lead scientist of the resurrection program and is considered Ellen's human counterpart in the operation. When the Tighs first supply Le Blanc's team with the DNA samples they had been preserving on their basestar for millennia she took on the task of cloning Samuel T. Anders and Kara Thrace. Though Le Blanc succeeded in cloning Sam without issue she failed to procure any viable DNA from the sample belonging to Kara claiming that the sample she was given contained no identifiable matter. Once her claims were confirmed by Ellen Tigh the hope of resurrecting the former colonial pilot were lost and the task was abandoned by Le Blanc. Saul Tigh then provided her with a replacement sample of cylon DNA. Soon after that she was quickly able to clone the body of D'Anna Biers a prominent Three.

As Ellen Tigh failed to perfect her resurrection process year after year Le Blanc grew impatient. She had fears of losing her position within the military and the government and worried that by the time Ellen succeeded she might not receive the credit that she was due for all of her work. Le Blanc devised a theory that she hoped would negate the need for her cylon counterpart's involvement. She presented a hypothesis to her team posing the idea that they might not in fact need the resurrected souls of the ancient leaders they had cloned. Her theory suggested that the combined DNA of each set of bodies might procure an already conscious and sentient descendant able to fulfill the prophecy without the need for Ellen's resurrection process. She presented her theory to the Earth Orbit Committee and under the agreement that the process was kept a guarded secret they agreed to let Le Blanc and her team proceed while they waited for Ellen's alternative. Le Blanc delegated the first trial conception to Dr. Isakoff of Alpha Station. To her surprise the doctor succeeded on his first try and he quickly confirmed a viable pregnancy using Laura Roslin's body. After Dr. Bishop and Dr. Petrov also declared successful conceptions Le Blanc began work on her own subjects. After many frustrating attempts to create viable embryos using Sam and D'Anna's bodies Le Blanc finally confirmed a stable pregnancy. Eager to have full control over her newest 'creation' she induced the removal of D'Anna's fetus after 12 weeks and transferred it to an artificial womb gestation chamber where she could monitor it closely. She legally adopted the last descendant in the program and named the baby girl Margot Renée.
Le Blanc gave Margot the best of everything but could be emotionally withdrawn at times. She raised Margot to be polite and congenial and taught her the value of education and the importance of being a productive and valuable member of society.
Michelle Le Blanc is from Delta Station and most of her Earth heritage descends from the Central Union Sector. Though she is a supporter of her government and Orbit Unity she taught her daughter Margot many languages stemming from her diverse ancestral sector to stimulate her understanding of linguistics and phonetics and to exercise her memory's encoding elasticity.

Le Blanc briefly took in Katya Isakoff after the girl became orphaned. When the Tighs adopted the child just weeks later Le Blanc was glad to be rid of what she viewed as a poor behavioral influence on Margot.

At the start of the story Le Blanc is eager to see the results of all of her hard work finally come to fruition

She is a thin woman of average height and wears her hair in a short practical blonde bob.

Dr. Mikhail Isakoff

At the start of Alpha station Mikhail Isakoff has been dead for over 15 years. He was recruited as part of a team of doctors and scientists by the Earth Orbit Committee when communications with the Tighs was relatively new. When the decision was made to clone the ancient leaders as the prophecies foretold Isakoff was a big part of the planning stages. He was given the task of cloning Laura Roslin and Bill Adama. He did so successfully over 30 years before the story begins. He cared for them over the years as society waited for Ellen Tigh to figure out a way to resurrect their souls and minds using the substitute bodies. Isakoff ran Alpha Station's military laboratory where the bodies were kept under the watchful eye of his staff. His lab was able to age the bodies at the speed they desired, slowing it down and hastening it at different points. As the years passed and Ellen still had not perfected the resurrection process Isakoff and his team became restless as did the government. Isakoff's teammate Michelle Le Blanc of Delta Station proposed a theory that would possibly nullify the need for resurrection at all. Since it was the souls and consciousness of the former leaders that was important Le Blanc suggested that perhaps their combined DNA could be used to conceive already conscious replacements. The Government secretly gave Isakoff's team permission to go on and he was given the order to go ahead with the first attempt at conception. The bodies of Laura Roslin and Bill Adama were aged to a physical point of late teens to early twenties and then removed from their stasis chambers. Amazingly conception was a success on Isakoff's first try. Months later he adopted the baby at birth and named her Yekaterina Natalia. He raised her as his own until the time of his murder. During a station ambush bots stormed the military side of the ship. That day Isakoff had the little girl with him at work. As word came that the bots were heading for the lab the doctor picked up his seven year old adoptive daughter and hid her inside of a lab closet. The lab was infiltrated and Isakoff as well as most of his staff was murdered protecting the bodies of Roslin and Adama as they floated in stasis. Marines stormed in and stopped the bots before any damage could come to the bodies. They rescued the child who had heard the entire attack take place as she hid.

Isakoff was originally from Gamma Station but was stationed on Alpha after joining the military as a biological engineer. His ancestral heritage was from the Eastern Federation sector of Earth. He was proud of his lineage and raised his adoptive daughter to carry on the old language and cultural traditions. Though he seemed to care for his daughter very much he did not take pause in subjecting her to experiments and trials. Isakoff was a brilliant man. He was serious and passionate about his work foregoing serious relationships in order to avoid distraction.

Dr. Dmitri Petrov

At the start of Alpha station Dimitri Petrov has been dead for over 7 years. He was recruited as part of a team of doctors and scientists by the Earth Orbit Committee when communications with the Tighs was relatively new. When the decision was made to clone the ancient leaders as the prophecies foretold Petrov was part of the planning stages. He was given the task of cloning Caprica Six and Gaius Baltar. He did so successfully over 30 years before the story begins. He cared for their bodies over the years as society waited for Ellen Tigh to figure out a way to resurrect them. Petrov ran Gamma Station's military laboratory where the bodies were kept under the watchful eye of his staff. His staff was able to age the bodies at the speed they desired, slowing it down and hastening it at different points in time. As the years passed and Ellen still had not perfected the resurrection process Petrov and his team became restless as did the government. Petrov's teammate Michelle Le Blanc of Delta Station proposed a theory that would possibly nullify the need for resurrection at all. Since it was the souls and consciousness of the former leaders that was important Le Blanc suggested that perhaps their combined DNA could be used to conceive already conscious replacements. Once Dr. Isakoff and Dr. Bishop were successful Dr. Petrov followed and a third baby was conceived using Caprica and Baltar's bodies. The baby boy was born months later. Perov adopted the child at birth and named him Alexi. Years later he came to take over the guardianship of a 12 year old Blaze Bishop when Dr. Kyle Bishop was killed during a bot attack on Beta Station. Petrov raised the boys as brothers until he was eventually murdered during a similar attack aboard Gamma Station. Petrov was unable to save his life's work and the bodies of Baltar and Caprica were destroyed at the time of his death. Petrov was a close friend of Dr. Mikhail Isakoff. Their children often played together during station visits. Petrov shared Isakoff's Earth hearitage both having ancestral ties to the Eastern Federation sector. Petrov raised his adoptive son in his culture, sharing the old language and traditions.

Dr. Sydra Kahdim

Dr. Sydra Kahdim of Alpha Station is in her late twenties during the start of the story. She is a biological engineer in Alpha Station's military laboratory. Sydra completed her general studies at 16 and chose to move on to advanced studies in biology. At 19 she was recruited by the armed forces and eventually given a prominent role in Alpha's military lab. She assists Ellen Tigh in the care of the bodies of Adama and Roslin and eventually aided in their resurrection process as well as the resurrection of the others.

Sydra is the granddaughter of the deceased Mikhail Isakoff's head lab assistant. The late Dr. Kahdim was killed at the same time as Isakoff during a bot attack on Alpha. Sydra followed in her grandmother's footsteps, eventually taking over the position. Sydra became friendly with Katya Isakoff as the girl volunteered in the lab over the years. After confiding in Katya that she has trouble meeting available women since she is always stuck in the lab, Katya introduced the doctor to Margot Le Blanc during a visit from Delta. The two hit it off and are in a new relationship at the start of the story.

Sydra is petite with long dark hair that she keeps pulled back in a ponytail while in the lab. She has clear dark skin, bright chocolate eyes, and a brilliant smile. Though she has a tendency to be quiet and shy she is friendly, encouraging and compassionate to those she knows well. Her Earth heritage is varied. She was born but on Alpha but no longer has any family living on the station.

Dr. Kyle Bishop

At the start of Alpha station Mikhail Isakoff has been dead for almost 10 years. Hailing from Beta Station Bishop was recruited as part of a team of doctors and scientists by the Earth Orbit Committee when communications with the Tighs was relatively new. When the decision was made to clone the ancient leaders as the prophecies foretold Bishop was given the task of cloning Sharon and Karl Agathon. He did so successfully over 30 years before the story begins. He cared for them over the years as society waited for Ellen Tigh to figure out a way to resurrect them using the substitute bodies. Bishop ran Beta Station's military laboratory where the bodies were kept under the watchful eye of his staff. When his team decided to test Michelle Le Blanc's theory of biological descendant replacements it did not take long for Bishop to agree. He was given the task of procuring viable embryos using the bodies he'd created. He eventually was successful and months after the cloned body of Sharon Agathon gave birth to a son who Bishop adopted and named Blaze.

Bishop was known for being extremely charming and charismatic though he lacked sincerity and integrity. He was easily coerced into participating in amoral acts and tasks for his own personal gain. Though he cared for his adoptive son, Dr. Bishop had little trouble forcing the young boy to take part in trials and experiments once the descendants program had been deemed a failure. When Bishop realized that his half cylon son was exhibiting traits passed down by his mother he took advantage of having such an available subject. Bishop went on to use Blaze, Alexi and Margot in his attempts to create various devices and therapies that would theoretically activate cylon traits long lost to Earth Humans. Some of the trials and tests Bishop put his son through were quite traumatizing to the boy and often painful.
Bishop was killed by bots during a station ambush during an attempt to destroy the Agathon bodies.
Bishop's Earth heritage stemmed mostly from the United West and Eastern Republic but his ancestors had long abandoned any recognizable traditions or customs. He was a great supporter of sector unity and the Earth Orbit government. He believed in using a universal language and identified as a citizen of the station system rather than a refugee of the planet below.

Madame Oksana Lobanova

Madame Lobanova is a Katya's ballet instructor and a civilian aboard Alpha Station. When Katya first started her training Lobanova was already in her nineties making her well over one hundred years old during the timeframe of the story. Age has made her walk with a hunch and she has long given up speaking anything other than her ancestral Eastern Federalist tongue, bitter that the government has attempted to take it away from her people. She walks with a cane which she often brandishes at students. Her tactics are strict and stern. She shouts and scowls as a general rule no matter what she is saying. After Katya's adoption by the Tighs Ellen began to take the girl to her private sessions and rehearsals. Unaccustomed to the strange traditions of the craft Ellen found Lobanova to be abusive and mean. She had words with her several times until little Katya convinced her that the woman meant no harm. Eventually Ellen accepted Lobanova's part in Katya's life and stayed out of her way, only providing support and help for the girls hobby when needed which the old woman appreciated. During the story Lobanova is deteriorating but still teaching during the last days of her life.

Vladi

Vladi is a friendly cylon centurion commonly posted outside of the Tigh family's cabin during Katya's childhood. Katya Isakoff was able to communicate with the cylon and gave him his name when she was a little girl. He is known for bringing gifts to the women of the family that are sometimes strange despite his seemingly sweet intentions. The Tighs often think of him as sort of a family pet.

Vladi shows more sentient qualities than most centurions though Ellen feels he is an example of an evolutionary jump in their ever changing race rather than an abnormality. Though Katya was once scared of his appearance she grew to love Vladi and she believes that he loves her in return.

BSG CHARACTERS

Saul Tigh, Ellen Tigh, Laura Roslin, Bill Adaman, Karl C. Agathon, Sharon Agathon, Samuel T. Anders, D'Anna Biers

ALPHA STATION FIC GLOSSARY

Alpha Station

A

Alpha Space Station was once owned and operated by the United West sector of Earth. When the planet was taken over by a race of androids most people from the United West fled to Alpha. It became part of the society of Earth Orbit when the stations and their pods decided to unify under one government. It is known for being the hub of military innovation within the system. Alpha is represented by a plain light blue flag indicating its station color. Military officers stationed on Alpha wear armbands over their biceps in the same blue color. In addition every resident of Alpha Station is issued their station cuffs in a pearlized version of the color.

Beta Station

β

Beta Space Station was once owned and operated by the Eastern Republic sector of Earth. When the planet was taken over by a race of androids most people from the Eastern Republic fled to Beta. It became part of the society of Earth Orbit when the stations and their pods decided to unify under one government. It is known for producing the majority of the system's food. It houses giant climate controlled greenhouses as well as several grain and algae harvesting operations. Beta is represented by a plain bright orange flag indicating its station color. Military officers stationed on Beta wear armbands over their biceps in the same orange color. Every resident of Delta Station is issued their station cuffs in the color as well.

Gamma Station

Γ

Gamma Space Station was once owned and operated by the Eastern Federation sector of Earth. When the planet was taken over by a race of androids most people from the Eastern Federation fled to Gamma. It became part of the society of Earth Orbit when the stations and their pods decided to unify under one government. It is known for being the hub of scientific innovation and discovery within the system. Many of Orbit's greatest doctors and scientists come from Gamma. It is represented by a plain green flag indicating its station color. Military officers stationed on Gamma wear armbands over their biceps in the same green color. Every resident of Gamma Station is issued their station cuffs in the color as well.

Delta Station

Δ

Delta Space Station was once owned and operated by the Central Union sector of Earth. When the planet was taken over by a race of androids most people from the Central Union fled to Delta. It became part of the society of Earth Orbit when the stations and their pods decided to unify under one government. It is known for being the center of arts and entertainment within the system. When war broke out on the surface of Earth and the people began to flee to Orbit many of the world's most precious works of art were saved from destruction by being brought to Delta. The station houses many theaters, galleries, studios and nightclubs. It is known for being the center of creativity and is generally considered the only vacation spot within Orbit. Delta is represented by a plain purple flag indicating its station color. Military officers stationed on Delta wear purple armbands over their biceps. Every resident of Delta Station is issued their station cuffs in the color as well.

Pods

Ω omega, O omicron, I iota, E epsilon, L lambda, P Rho

System pods are small stations within each quadrant. Some are used for docking or charging stations while others are used for storage. Each pod has a small number of permanent residents, mostly comprised of people who work in jurisdictions within the unit.

Bots

Short for robots, bots are a race of highly developed androids who turned on their creators for abusing them as a slave race and destroying the planet with overpopulation, destruction of other species and rampant pollution. Bots are comprised of a fleet of airBots and artillery airBots, faceless bipedal robotic droids and a highly advanced intelligent network of computers and machinery. Though bots are sentient they operate as one mind and one network rather than individuals. They are known for being extremely violent and ruthless. Unlike cylons communication became minimal between bots and Earth humans after their rebellion. They don't seem to be capable of empathy or compassion making them much less evolved than any cylon.

Station Cuffs
A station cuff is a device worn by every living person in Earth Orbit over the age of 12. They are legally required by the government and crucial to everyday life within the system. The citizens may choose to have their cuff placed on the left or right wrist (with exceptions made for physical limitations) but are unable to remove them without the help of a special government owned device which only doctors and certain officials have access to. Appearing much like a wristwatch they are comprised of a fitted cuff with a lucite transparent square face which illuminates into a screen when activated. The screen has the ability to project its data a few inches above, or onto the wearer's forearm if desired. Station cuffs serve numerous purposes including but not limited to access to the network, delegation of currency, entrance to doors and other ports, proof of identity, calculation, text and audio communications. People also use their cuffs for entertainment purposes such a reading news articles and books, watching movies or playing games. Every Station's cuffs are made in a different color to indicate residence. Alpha's are made in a pearlized blue, Beta's in a bright orange, Delta's a bright purple and Gamma's a deep green.

EOC
The Earth Orbit Committee or EOC is a group of delegates comprised of 4 representatives from each station who act as heads of the government in place of a single president or prime minister. Their decisions are made by majority votes. Each station holds elections yearly to select their delegates. Over the years the EOC has had its share of corruption and scandals. One of the most notable blemishes on the office's history was the descendants program. With help from the committee Michelle Le Blanc and her team were secretly given permission to carry out her theoretical approach to speeding up the prophecy believed by the people of Earth Orbit and their Cylon guardians. The EOC was eager to find a way out of the constant state of war their system had been in for ages. The process was theoretical and entailed highly immoral and illegal actions all authorized by the heads of the EOC. When the project was deemed a failure word got out via disgruntled participants and the EOC and the team of scientists were exposed for their wrong doings. Though the EOC issued apologies and explanations for the secret program offshoot it left many citizens distrustful of their government officials.

The Quartz Plates

An ancient discovery once thought to be a hoax.

Found on the surface of Earth in a southern continent governed by the former Central Union the Quartz Plates were excavated by a university team of anthropologists over 300 years before the story begins. The artifacts are two polished pink quartz stone tablets each about a foot long. They are each etched with markings which when decoded told the story of the Colonial Fleet, the cylons, their journey and the future prophecy that was to come to their descendants on Earth. The plates were assumed to be a well done hoax but were somehow taken to Delta Station with a shipment of several more highly regarded artifacts during the exodus from the surface to the Orbit system. Once Saul and Ellen Tigh made contact with the Earth Orbit government the prophecy of the Quartz Plates was confirmed and became the belief of the people having matched the prophecy foretold by the cylon basestar's hybrid. The tablets, once thought to be nothing but an interesting fake, became the system's most sacred possession. Through examinations and testing both by the Tighs and Orbit scientists the plates are assumed to have been made by a Colonial oracle sometime after the fleet made it to the new planet. Digital copies of the plates messages are readily available to all citizens via the system network.

Tablets

Translucent colorless rectangle shaped devices which when activated illuminate with graphics and data and are used as handheld computers. Every private residence is issued one tablet which can be used to control things like the cabin's screen walls, com system volume, and lighting. All tablets have network access and can project data at a distance. They perform many of the same abilities as station cuffs but are able to project larger images and have the advantage of being unattached to any one person. Tablets are used in offices, medical facilities and any jurisdiction where portable computers are needed.

Network Accounts

Each citizen of Earth Orbit is issued a station number at birth. This number is used as part of their identification and provides access to each person's network account. Network accounts hold private data, identification, medical records, legal documents, and credit accounts.

Credits

The only form of currency in Earth Orbit.

Every citizen is given the same amount of monthly credits for food and necessities but can work jurisdictions to earn more. Less often people develop private businesses to earn credits from fellow citizens but the process is hard and permission to do so is often difficult to attain. An example of one such venture is the Isakoff family's vodka distillery on Gamma Station.

People may gift credits to one another at any time and credit accounts may be inherited from deceased citizens if legal instruction is left before death.

Stasis Chambers

A suspension liquid filled vat used to grow clones, cloned organs or cloned body parts in a controlled environment.

The specially designed fluid within each chamber is made with conductive properties and can be used to hasten or slow aging, administer nutrients and medication and can also keep up muscle tone.

Gestation Chambers

Artificial wombs used to house premature babies as young as 12 weeks gestation.

Standard Military Uniform

Orbit Patrol: The Orbit Patrol Uniform consists of black slacks or knee length skirt (as Tawny chooses to wear) and a black tunic with hidden interior hooks in the front as closure. The tunic and slacks/ skirts are lined with thin white piping. The only color on the uniforms exists in ribbons or pins awarded worn on the left breast of the tunic and the blue, green, orange or purple station band worn over the left tunic sleeve at the bicep. Junior officers wear a variation of this in charcoal grey. Dress blacks are similar to the standard uniform but utilize a heavier material and bolder white piping.

Orbit Marine Corps: The Orbit Marines where a black on black heavily padded typical utilitarian marine uniform. Their dress blacks are almost identical to that of Orbit Patrol's with their insignia being slightly different and the absents of white piping.


** Want a term added and defined? Reply or PM with your request.


DELETED/ BONUS SCENE CHAPTER 24

"You'll each have to confirm the documents once I'm done," The woman behind the desk explained. She was quite approachable as far as station lawyers went and she had tried her best to make the entire process a little less daunting. "Dr. Xao, as executor I'll need to enter your station number on a few document locations"

"That's fine, Counselor" Tawny agreed.

"How much longer is this going to take?" Alexi complained.

Though the task hadn't been as awful as he'd expected he still hated that they were there and he was beginning to lose his patience. He was sick of sitting in the tiny office that hardly fit the four of them. What had started out as a simple designation of guardianship had turned into the allocation of everything they had to their names..

"Lex," Katya warned looking up from her hand. "Mohlchyat," She harshly whispered.

"This is important, Alexi," Tawny reiterated for what felt like the hundredth time. "This is the kind of things parents do. Your fathers both did it for you two. Which is why it's taken us so long to get through everything, I should add. I doubt most young couples have the extensive credit accounts you two so fortunately have in your names. Aren't you grateful for that?"

Alexi let out a sardonic chuckle under his breath and rolled his eyes. He and Katya had each inherited their fathers credit accounts but they'd gone virtually untouched over the years. Dr. Isakoff and Dr. Petrov had each accumulated a small credit fortune by Orbit system standards. After their deaths the accounts went to their children but Katya and Alexi had little need for the funds and once they grew old enough to understand where it all had come from they had little desire to even acknowledge that it existed. The couple was about as financially well off as anyone could be within the system but it made no difference to them. To them every credit in each inherited account might as well have been cursed. They lived comfortably off of their military compensation and the monthly credits that every citizen was allocated. Even if they wanted to there was no way to spend large sums in Orbit unless one was to start up a private business which they had no intentions of. They were given all they needed by their government and they were each lucky enough to have Ellen who gladly gifted them the rare niceties and extras they occasionally desired. They only ever dared to dip into their inheritance to offer friends loans here and there, loans they never wanted or expected to be paid back. Alexi had never been grateful for the accounts. He more or less wished that they didn't exist at all. Now their lives had changed and though he still hated where the funds had originated he knew that there was a new benefit to the security it provided. Should the worst ever happen to them they could at least be sure that Margot wouldn't have to make any financial sacrifices while caring for the twins.

"Someone looked out for your future and when tragedy happened you were taken care of. Don't you want to do the same?" Tawny added.

Alexi frowned at her a looked away. He understood why they were there. He had always been the one to talk of how dangerous their lives were and how treacherous their professions could be. He'd always been a pessimist to others but a realist in his own mind but things were different now. He didn't want to sit there making sure that his family was taken care of if in the event of his untimely death. He wasn't going anywhere. There would be no dying. He had too much too live for and in his mind nothing short of a black hole traveling through space to swallow him up could take him away from his life. Rational or not he was sure of it.

"It won't take much longer," The woman behind the desk assured them. "We do need to have all three of you confirm a few things before you go but the final draft will be sent to each of you over the network for official acceptance. You can look it over and send it back whenever you like. Just remember that nothing we've recorded here today will be officially recognized by system law until you do so. Also potential guardianship won't go into effect until. Ms Le Blanc accepts your request."

"She already has," Katya said as she nervously chewed her thumbnail.

"Officially, I mean," The counselor clarified. "And that being the main reason you came, I suggest you all confirm quickly and ask Ms. Le Blanc to do the same as soon as possible. Of course this is all a procationary but most new parents choose to ensure their children's futures. I assure you, Sergent, Captain, has grim as this all sounds it's not out of the ordinary at all. It's simply for peace of mind. Just please understand that peace of mind doesn't legally go into effect until all parties have provided their official acceptance."

They were all silent for a moment letting the woman's words hang in the air.

"We understand," Tawny answered for them.

Tawny had felt like she was holding the hands two children the entire time they'd been there. They'd shown up late and each in a sour mood. If she hadn't been the one who had convinced them to go through with the meeting in the first place then she wouldn't have stayed but the whole ordeal had been her idea and she'd offered to be their executor. Over the past few months Tawny had tried her best to help Katya and Alexi understand their new responsibilities. She wanted to encourage them to take charge of planning for their changing future but it had all been a little harder than she'd hoped. Suggesting a legally documented will had thrown the young couple for a loop. Only Katya's wavering health had convinced them to agree to come at all.

Tawny bit her lip as she looked over at the two of them. Alexi, with a childish pout on his face and his oversized arms crossed over his chest. Katya, distracted and constantly fidgeting with her wedding ring. She sighed and hoped that when the time came they would grow up quickly. They had little choice.

The woman behind the desk continued to busily work at the document projected over her screen.

"I'm nearly done. Just a few more notations and…"

"Wait," Katya suddenly interrupted the counselor.

Her brow was knitted and she still had her eyes downcast on her hand.

"Something wrong, Captain?"

"Is it too late to add something?" Katya asked, finally giving the other woman her focus.

"No. Not at all. This is an adaptable will meant to grow and change as your family does. It can be altered at your discretion whenever you like but the changes will require new confirmation every time one is made. If you would like to add something now I'll just have to tack it on as an addendum to the original file."

"What is it, Katya?" Alexi scowled. "We went over everything twice."

"Not everything."

"Can't it wait?" He protested. "We came here to make sure we chose a legal guardian. We did that and allocated our credits, our inheritances, whatever few things we have that are actually worth anything. Isn't that enough for one day?"

Katya bit her lip and looked down at her hand again.

"Our rings."

Alexi grimaced.

"What?"

"Our wedding rings," She answered though she was sure he knew what she was talking about. Neither of them had ever worn another ring to speak of.

"They're just titanium, Kat." Alexi sighed as he ran his hand over his face in frustration. "They aren't worth much more than the merch printer charge and the metal they're made of."

"It's not about that, Lex. They mean something to us."

"Exactly, Katya. To us. Who else would want them?"

Katya shrugged and leaned back in her seat, resting her hand protective over her middle, something she usually never let herself do. She thought back to the day's events; cutting Laura's hair, finally chatting like normal people. She remembered dropping her ring into Laura's palm and watching her admire it.

Katya nearly turned red again as she remembered how shocked Laura had been to learn about her legal marriage to Bill. She couldn't believe the Tighs hadn't explained it to them. Still, Laura hadn't exactly been upset, just surprised.

"My mother and father," She finally answered.

Alexi rolled his eyes yet again.

"Fine. Add it to whatever else the Tighs would get. Ellen can build us a shrine. This is so stupid. Do you know how morbid all if this is to think about, Yekaterina?"

"Lex, lay off her," Tawny sternly defended. "It was smart of you guys to come to do this. If heaven forbid anything should ever happen at least those left behind would know what you two wanted. Stop trying to make her feel bad. At least she's participating instead of sitting her like a stubborn jerk. I know what those rings mean to you two. Don't suddenly act as if they have no value just because you don't want to be here. Maybe Ellen could save them, pass them down one day if you couldn't."

"Not Ellen," Katya said shaking her head.

Alexi rubbed at the stubble that was forming on his chin in frustration.

"You just said…"

"I want to leave them to Bill and Laura," Katya interrupted.

"Why? What the hell for?"

Katya looked back at the ring on her finger and blushed.

"I just think they would appreciate them. That's all."

Katya knew that only Laura could wear her ring if it ever came off of her finger. Their hands were practically identical as if one set had been a copy of the other. Laura had admired the band, complimented it. She even liked the inscription, though she couldn't read it. Katya hated to imagine any scenario that would stop her from wearing the precious ring but she knew that Laura and Bill loved each other just as fiercely and she and Alexi did. They didn't have rings of their own. The symbol would suit them.

"Besides, we didn't mention them at all. We didn't leave them anything."

"We aren't going anywhere!" Alexi shouted and hit the arms of his chair.

"Lex, for fuck sake," Tawny snapped. She actually had to stop herself from leaning over in her chair and smacking him in front of the now very nervous counselor. "What did I say about getting her upset? Quit being an ass."

Alexi ran his hand through his hair and sighed. Tawny was right and the last thing he wanted to do was get Katya worked up over nothing. He was starting to feel claustrophobic in the small office. He just wanted to get out and get his wife back home.

"Fine. Whatever you want, Katya. If that would make you happy do it."

"You're sure, Captain?" The counselor very cautiously questioned.

Katya nodded.

"Yes, Ma'am. William Adama and Laura Roslin."

Tawny smiled and reached over to put her hand on her friend's forearm in support. She was proud of her.

"That's really sweet, Kat."


many thanks and all my love, lla

Chapter 38: The Shape of Things to Come: A Ficlet

Summary:

A New Caprican memory is the center of this Alpha Station universe ficlet. Set both before and after the events of Alpha Station: A Battlestar Galactica Fantasy Reboot, The Shape of Things To Come touches upon signs and presage of the past gone unnoticed.

Notes:

AN:The following ficlet was constructed from unused or deleted scenes from my completed story, Alpha Station: A Battlestar Galactica Fantasy Reboot.

 

If you did not read Alpha Station you will be a bit confused through some of this, but I would invite you to read the New Caprica scenes and check out my writing style and themes. If you like what you read maybe check out Alpha Station next. It is not an AU but a post series story which fits within canon.

Alpha Station readers, it came to my attention after the story was completed in spring that over half the story subscribers never got the Alert for the Epilogue. It is there if any of you missed it and want to read it because this might also be confusing to you without it. It does not have a chapter number and is just labeled w/the title Epilogue. It's a swift read and might be helpful before this tiny ficlet.

Feedback is appreciated and encouraged not just on my work but on any content you read, from any fanfic author. I would love to hear your thoughts

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Location: Planet Earth

Former United West Sector

Residence: Tigh/Roslin/Adama

Year: 2319

The door slowly creaked open with the slightest push of her hand. The noise was an ordinary one, so familiar to her ears, but in the wee hours of the morning it made Laura flinch. She peered inside the bedroom, worried that the sound might have disturbed the slumbering trio inside. Thankfully it hadn't. Not one of them so much as rolled over in their sleep. A bedside lamp had been left on illuminating the room hours before the sun would rise above the forestline and over the lake to make its way through the solitary window. Laura smiled to herself as she watched them. After a restless night Ellen was conked out; her mouth slightly open and her sandy curls haphazardly splayed all over the pillow that propped up her head. Sasha slept nestled under her arm so content that no one would guess that she and her brother had been up half the night frighted over a summer thunderstorm. Likewise Liam-Daniel lay with his head resting on his mother's stomach, sleep-drooling directly onto her nightshirt. Laura smirked knowing that when Ellen awoke she would actually be grateful to find that this time the damp spot was only spit.

Making her way to the edge of the bed she took a seat on its corner careful not to jostle the mattress.

Sasha had come to Laura and Bill's room in the middle of the night as the thunder rolled in over the lake. It was often the case that she would show up at their door during overnight storms. Usually they let the little girl crawl in between them to feel safe. Their third summer on Earth had been unusually hot and humid and they'd found that it made the thunder and lighting much worse. The menacing sounds cracked and rumbled through the valley and over the lake's usually placid water. Though Sasha could usually be comforted just by snuggling between her mother and father the intensified volume of the night's storm had frightened her to tears. When they couldn't get her back to sleep Laura decided to take her to the kitchen for a glass of water.

The drink had served to calm her for a moment and allow her a break from her tears to catch her breath.

"Feeling better, sweetheart?" Laura asked as the little girl lowered the cup from her pouting lips.

Before Sasha could answer the thunder clapped sending her to pieces all over again. With a huff Laura scooped the frightened child up into her arms and left the kitchen.

"Let's sleep down here for the rest of the night," She told Sasha who had her head buried within her mother's neck.

"But Daddy," The girl mumbled as they made their way down one of the cabin halls in the dark.

"Daddy and Uncle Saul have an early flight up to Alpha. He's not afraid of the thunder. Daddy's very brave. He'll be just fine. Lets let him get his sleep."

Laura headed for a guest room they often used for the children's naps. It was located in the common area of the cabin; close to the joint livingroom and kitchen. The bed was large and rather than squeeze on to Sasha's child sized mattress Laura sometimes took her to sleep there when they didn't want to disturb Bill.

As they made it to the room Laura squinted in the dark. The door was closed but a light was on inside. She couldn't be sure due to the sound of Sasha's constant sniffling in her ear, but she thought that she heard muffled voices.

Confident that she knew what she would find Laura knocked and opened the door without waiting for a response.

Inside just as she suspected she found Ellen sitting on the bed with a frightened Liam clinging to her side.

"Thunder?" Laura guessed as she leaned in and hiked Sasha up on her hip.

"Lightning," Ellen replied with a roll of her eyes.

"What if it comes through the roof!?" Liam cried.

"It's not gunna come through the roof, baby," Ellen assured her panicked son. "It can't come through. I told you."

"Yes it can!"

"No it can't, honey. I promise."

"It can come through the roof!?" Sasha cried, suddenly lifting her head up from Laura's neck in alarm.

"Oh good Lords," Laura huffed. "No," she reiterated. "It can't."

With a sigh she walked over to the bed and flopped down onto the fluff of the tousled quilt taking Sasha with her.

The thunder clapped yet again shaking the frame of their sturdy lakeside home as the sound reverberated through the valley.

"I don't like this storm," Sasha cried making her way to Ellen as Laura laid back and attempted to close her eyes for the briefest of moments.

"I know, rybka," Ellen said as she moved an errant lock of the child's russet hair behind her ear. "But I promise it can't hurt you."

"Is that for real, Aunt Laura?" Liam tested, as he crawled on top of her, ending her futile attempt to rest her eyes..

She stifled a grunt as his little knee pressed into her ribcage.

"Of course it is, Li. Why would Mommy lie to you?"

"Okay," He relented before grabbing her tightly as a flash of lightning flickered outside of the window.

"Okay?" Ellen repeated in mock frustration. "Okay? Liam-Daniel, I've been telling you that for an hour and you haven't believed me once. Now Aunt Laura says it and it's suddenly okay?"

"She's a teacher," Liam muttered into Laura chest.

Ellen smirked at the boy.

"How do you like that, Laura? I spent a lifetime studying, had a brilliant career in bioengineering, went on to create a whole race of sentient beings and yet these kids verify every answer I give them with you before they accept it because you're a teacher."

Laura chuckled and closed her eyes again while she gently rubbed at Liam's back.

"I have a trustworthy face," She shrugged and yawned.

"And what about me?" Ellen mused in return.

"You? You look like you're full of it," Laura teased.

A moment later a pillow playfully landed on her head.

Unphased she leaned up and tucked it behind her neck attempting to get comfortable.

"Mommy, how long is the thunder gunna last?" Sasha asked.

"I dunno, sweetheart."

"What if it never ever stops?" Liam added.

"That's not possible, Li," Laura said with a sigh.

"But what if?" The boy insisted.

"Then I guess we'll never-ever sleep again," She deadpanned. "Gods, aren't you two tired?" She said, unable to stop another yawn.

The twins plugged their ears as more thunder rumbled outside.

"You look awful, Laura," Ellen remarked.

"Right back at ya, Elle."

"No, I mean you can hardly keep your eyes open. Why don't you leave Sasha here with me and go back up and get some sleep?"

"Mommy, no," Sasha immediately whined.

"And leave you with the both of them?" Laura said as she leaned up and sat Liam in her lap. "I'll be fine. Besides you're just as tired as I am."

"No, I'm not," Ellen insisted. "I'm okay. I swear. Besides I think they're calming down. It's not as bad outside as it was before. Just go get an hour or so. The storm should pass by then and if not we'll switch when you wake up."

"Stay, Mommy," Sasha pleaded.

"C'mon, rybka," Ellen encouraged the little girl. "Mommy is so tired. Let's let her get a little sleep. "You know I'll protect you until she comes back."

Of that, Laura had no doubt.

Though she hesitated to leave at first her exhaustion had won out and she'd eventually taken Ellen up on her offer. Their relationship was one of give and take. It was a balance that worked inexplicably and without effort. They picked each other up when they fell. They supported one another when they were weakened. This time Ellen was stepping up but Laura knew that soon enough she would return the favor.

After a few hours of restful sleep Laura awoke just before dawn to find the sky grey. The storm had passed but the clouds still drizzled as she watched out of her bedroom window. Donning her robe and slippers she left Bill's slumbering side to check on Ellen and the kids.

Laura had been glad to find them soundly cuddled up together.

As she sat on the bed watching them she wondered if the lamp had been left on to make the children less afraid or if they had all simply passed out before Ellen could turn it off. As quietly as she could she leaned over to the end table and flipped its switch.

Sitting back up Laura looked to the window and watched the soft drizzling rain. Selfishly she hoped that the overcast would cause Bill and Saul's shuttle to be canceled. She didn't begrudge their standing monthly lunch with Commander Kaplan on Alpha Station but it was the type of grey day that made her want her family cozied up under their warm roof.

Gloomy days always tended to creep into her bones and affect her mood. It was much the same for Ellen and Saul. They all felt better when they were close together and out of the dreariness. Laura frowned as she craned her neck to see the garden that she and Saul worked so hard in. She hoped that the plants wouldn't be too waterlogged and that the ground would dry before they had to tend to it. Saul despised the mud. His distaste for it was almost irrational but Laura didn't blame him. She hated it too. Just the smell of it was sometimes enough to put them each in a sour mood. They usually worked well together in the garden, but one foot in a murky puddle and they would be bickering over something as silly as the ripeness of a tomato. They both hated when the twins would make mud pies in the yard. Though it merely made Laura uncomfortably annoyed Saul would always yell at them and demand that they stop at once. Bill never understood what the big deal was but Ellen would always rush out of the house, scoop the kids up and have them washed up and dressed before they were seen again. She knew why Saul and Laura hated to see the children covered in mud and dirt. She understood why they both abhorred when it would cake their gardening shoes or dirty their tools. She knew without a word. She always just knew.

Laura looked away from the rain and back at Ellen. She snored softly, her face cast in the blue grey light of the morning. Sometimes Laura still found herself in awe of Ellen Tigh. As fluid as their dyad had become every now and then she was taken back by the depths of their connection. She often thought of their first interactions; Ellen's drunken antics, her shameless behavior. She recalled how harshly she'd judged the Colonel's wife, how poorly she had considered her. She often thought of the shock of the cylon woman's return to the fleet, the utter distrust she had for her back then. It was lives and worlds behind them but it still gave Laura pause. She had many interactions with Ellen Tigh during their journey to Earth and for some reason it bothered her to know that through all of it, she'd never truly seen her. This woman who she trusted with her life, trusted with her damaged heart. This woman who loved her daughters just as deeply as Laura did herself.

Had the Gods failed to see it coming? Was their future too far ahead and so deep into another world that not even the deities could sense it? Why hadn't she been given some sense of it?

Perhaps she had.

Perhaps She'd failed to see it.

Laura had experienced so many signs, symbols and premonitions back then and she often wondered if she had missed something when it came to Ellen.

Laura listened to the rain on the rooftop and sighed. The ground would be soft and damp for quite a while. She could still remember the walks she'd taken to the New Caprican lake, trekking through the dirt and mud to get there just for a glimpse of the one spot on the wretched planet that made her smile.

One day when the overcast was light and the temperature mild she'd put on her boots, bundled up baby Hera and headed out to the lake.

Though carrying the infant had made the walk a bit awkward and slow Hera's sweet company had made the trip far more tolerable than usual. Instead of focusing on her boots sinking into the muck of the muddy trail Laura spoke to the little girl about the trees and the birds.

"They'll make a nest in the springtime," She told the child who was far too young to understand. "If spring ever comes."

She'd held the baby tight but made sure that she could peek over the layers of blankets she'd wrapped her in order to see her surroundings.

"This will be a nice change of scenery, Isis. Something to look at instead of rows of drab tents and that grimy camp. The lake is so pretty. It's so crystal clear it's like looking through glass. I wish it was warm enough to dip our feet in. If I could- if I had the means and the time...if things were different...I'd build a cabin nearby and live there. I think maybe I could be happy if I woke up and saw it every morning."

Soon the trail through the sparse woods ended and the lake at the base of the mountain came into view.

Laura pulled down some of the blankets to expose the little one's face a bit more.

"Take a deep breath, Isis. The air is so much fresher out here."

The New Caprican camp couldn't have been healthy for the baby's little lungs; constantly breathing in dust, campfire smoke and tilium exhaust from the generators that ran through the night.

"Isn't it pretty here, sweetheart? Can you see it? How 'bout a smile?" Laura cooed, encouraging the baby to grin back at her. "Big smile, sweetie. That's it! Give Aunt Laura a smile. That's my gorgeous girl."

"School's out?" A sudden voice came from behind causing Laura to nearly jump out of her skin.

She clutched the baby close to her chest and turned slowly, dreading that she'd find a skin-job there to reprimand her for going too far outside of camp.

What she found, strangely enough, was another woman, holding another baby.

"Ellen," Laura said in surprise.

Ellen Tigh didn't answer her. She was already focused on baby Hera, smiling at her with bright adoring eyes and reaching out for her mitten covered little hand.

"And who is this little angel?" Ellen asked.

She had her jacket open and under it, nestled inside of a Gemminon style baby wrap was a sleeping infant who looked to be a just few months younger than Hera.

"Uh, this is Isis…" Laura answered, still a little shaken over the surprise greeting.

"Hello, Isis," Ellen swooned, immediately getting Hera to smile in return. "You're beautiful. Do you know that?"

"You scared the hell out of me, Ellen."

"Sorry," Ellen said looking up with a shrug and a smirk that told Laura she was actually far more amused than apologetic. "We were just out for a walk. I wasn't expecting anyone else to be out here. I knew it was you as soon as I came off the trail," She explained. She could pick out the former president's hair from a mile away. Months of primitive living had it made long, healthy and wild. "I just didn't see that you had company. So, either you're babysitting or this is your youngest student ever," She teased, winking at Hera and gently patting the baby she carried on his sleeping back.

"She belongs to Maya, my-"

"Your teaching assistant," Ellen finished for her. "Yes. Now that you mention it I've seen them around the market. If you can even call it that right now. Hasn't been anything decent to take home to cook in days."

Food was running low and everyone was starting to feel it. Laura frowned and nodded before craning her neck for a peek inside of Ellen's wrap.

"Who-"

"This is Nicky Tyrol," Ellen abruptly answered again without letting Laura finish.

"The Chief's son," Laura said, doing her best to let her annoyance over Ellen's interrupting pass.

Ellen nodded and smiled. She appeared almost proud to be toting around the sleeping boy.

"Galen is running around with Sam, Saul and the rest of the resistance members doing gods know what. They needed Cally to work on the engine of a transport cart they managed to get a hold of."

"I told them not to use that thing," Laura grimaced, angry to find that the Colonel and Sam Anders had gone against her advice. "It makes way too much noise. They're bound to get caught. It isn't worth it."

"I try to stay out of it," Ellen answered, her smile starting to fade at the thought of her husband's perilous position.

Laura huffed and shook her head.
"Anyway, so they stuck you with the baby," She said trying to let the other woman continue with her explanation, but her mind was stuck on the resistance members risky decision.

"They did. Not that I mind," Ellen went on as she softly rocked the baby side to side. "I take him now and then when they need Cally's help. So how'd you get stuck with little Isis here?"

"She's been with me since last night," Laura said with a roll of her eyes. "Poor thing is starting to teethe. At least that's what Doc Cottle says. She's had Maya up for three nights straight. Their tent is right beside mine. Last night it got so bad that Maya was crying right along with her in frustration. I couldn't listen to it anymore. I went over and insisted that she get some sleep and let me take Isis back to my tent. I actually try and take her at least a night a week these days."

"Isn't that nice," Ellen smirked, more than a little surprised to picture their poised former president tending to a screaming infant.

"Well, Maya's no good to me if she's half asleep during school hours." Laura answered, attempting to sound as detached as possible.

She was almost ashamed of herself as she instinctively tried to downplay her relationship with the child. It was pointless, so why did she feel the need to sound so cold? No one knew. No one understood that the infant in her arms had been the one who saved her life. The Agathon baby, the hybrid. No one knew that the little girl's blood ran through her veins, that they shared something so precious. No one knew that she'd do anything to protect her, how she owed the child the very breath in her lungs. As far as Laura was concerned it wasn't Baltar who she had to thank for being alive, it was was Hera. Holding on to her through the night while keeping a cold rag to her sore little gums was just about the absolute minimum that she could do to show the child her gratitude. But no one knew. So why was her impulse to make sure that no one could see how deeply she loved are cared for the baby?

Guilt. Laura thought. So much guilt.

"Right," Ellen replied, rolling her eyes at Laura's over-practical reasoning.

They both looked to the lake as a bird flew in to skim the top for an insect. Animal life on the plant was so scarce that seeing the creature was a rare occurrence.

"That's a clever contraption you have there," Laura said after the bird departed and there was nothing left to comfortably fill the silence between them. "I didn't think Isis would get so heavy during the walk. I should have done something like that. Though, I wouldn't know how to tie it if I tried," She added with a short chuckle.

"Neither do I," Ellen laughed as she pulled back her jacket to further show off the traditional wrap. "I found the fabric in a pile of blankets I traded for last week. There's an old Gemmenies women a few tents down from Saul and I. I took Nicky to visit her this morning and she wrapped him to me snug as a bug in no time. It's actually pretty comfortable. He's a big boy for his age, so I'm told, and I hardly felt the weight on my shoulders on the way here."

"That's very…resourceful of you," Laura remarked, genuinely impressed with Ellen's foresight. She'd hardly expected it from a woman who was half in the bag almost every time she saw her. Ellen seemed quite comfortable with the child, even happy and Laura thought it strange to witness her so composed and put together. "He seems very content."

"I wanted to show him the lake but he fell asleep on the way," Ellen explained as she looked down at the soozing infant snuggled to her chest. His cheeks were to die for and she had to stop herself from kissing at them. "Such a precious sweet face," She said softly, watching him with a sort of sad wonder. "It's such a godsdamn shame. These poor things. They didn't ask to come here. They deserve so much more than this."

Laura watched on with a knitted brow as Ellen began to lightly bounce Nicky within his wrap. She did it as if he needed comforting and yet the boy was peacefully asleep. He was blissfully unaware of the tragic circumstance that he'd been born into and all of Ellen's gentle bouncing served as nothing but a temporary comfort for herself as her heart swelled with pity for the child.

"They absolutely do," Laura agreed.

"It's hard to imagine things getting better these days," Ellen sighed. "I'd like to think that they will. I'd like to look at Nicky and think he'll grow up to know something more than grey skies and frakking mud on his feet but...I dunno...I don't know if I really believe it," She said with a dismal frown. "Do you, Laura? Do you believe they'll actually have any kind of a future worth living?"

Laura bit at the inside of her lip, somewhat taken off guard over the genuine nature of Ellen's question. She was looking at her as if she actually wanted to know her opinion, as if it somehow mattered what she thought.

"I have to believe it," Laura answered after a moment. "It's my job to believe it."

"I sure hope you're right," Ellen said with a shake of her head. "Speaking of that," She went on, forcing her melancholy tone to lighten, "if your assistant is at home passed out cold and you're here then who's teaching the kids at the tent school?"

"No one," Laura answered as she shifted Hera's weight to her other arm. "There aren't any children there today. Some awful stomach virus has been going around. I swear it took out half my roster. High fevers and chills. It's dreadful. Cottle thought it was best to suspend classes so that we can stop it from spreading and give the sick ones a chance to get well."

Ellen shook her head at the awful explanation. She looked disheartened and dejected. It made Laura feel uneasy, as if Ellen didn't understand how she could watch half of her student's suffer from some alien planet's disgusting diseases and still claim that she believed they had a future to hope for.

"And so Auntie Laura's on baby duty until school's back in session?" Ellen posed, trying to move past the terrible news.

"Something like that," Laura answered. "And what about you? Are you taking care of the Tyrol's baby as long as the resistance needs Cally?"

"Saul says they shouldn't need her much longer. They just want to be able to transport some smuggled supplies quickly and quietly. I don't mind though. I'm glad to take Nicky whenever they need me to."

The mention of the resistance project immediately incensed Laura's concerns again.

"I really wish they wouldn't use that damn motorized cart." If Saul wouldn't listen to her then maybe his wife could get through to him. "If they get caught with it…"

"Don't, Laura," Ellen said closing her eyes tightly, as if to guard herself from the subject at hand. "Please. Don't talk about it."

"People are being taken into detention more and more, Ellen. The cylons won't hesitate to throw any one of them into those damn prisons they've constructed."

"I know. Gods! Believe me, I know, Laura," Ellen returned, not wanting to hear the reality of what might happen.

"Ignoring it won't stop it, Ellen. If I were you I'd do my best to convince them to abandon the idea."

"Godsdamn it, Laura, they just meet in my tent. It's not frakking up to me."

"Have you tried?"

"I told you I stay out of it."

"This is serious, Ellen."

"You think I don't know that?"

"They'll take Saul first."

"And they'll frakking take you next!" Ellen snapped.

Her sharp reminder had been meant to shut Laura up but she'd woken Nicky in the process. He began to fuss and squirm in the wrap hanging from her shoulders. She quickly began to shush him, rubbing his back in soothing apology.

"I'm sorry, honey, shh, I'm sorry, shhh. You go back to sleep. Shhh."

The two women stood together for a while longer until Nicky was calmed. They wordlessly looked over the crystal clear lake, the silence interrupted now and then with a coo or hiccup from the little ones they held.

Finally Ellen spoke again.

"Bye-bye Isis," She said as she reached out and ran a gentle knuckle down the baby's soft cheek. "Don't run Aunt Laura ragged the way you did your mommy."

"Well lucky for us, we have the ability to give them back to their parents before that happens," Laura attempted to joke.

"Yeah. I guess," Ellen replied as she squeezed Hera's hand once more. "See you around, Laura," She said as she turned to leave. "Be careful out there...Like it or not, people need you."

Laura swallowed hard and held on tighter to Hera.

"I'll try," She answered as Ellen walked away.

Sometimes Laura wondered how she'd missed it. How had she stood on that peaceful shore of that glassine lake by Ellen's side, each of them holding a precious young soul, and still failed to see the shape of things to come.

How could she have looked the other woman in the eyes and not have seen the compassion and love that existed. How was there not a moment of perception or a glimmer of the future as they stood on that beach and gazed into a body of water so like the one they'd come to raise their family beside, so like the one they'd painfully poured their beloved daughter's ashes into?

How was there never a spark, a clue, a hint?

"Are you watching me sleep?" Ellen muttered, with one eye barely cracked open.

"No," Laura answered.

Ellen yawned resisting the urge to stretch so that she wouldn't disturb Liam or Sasha.

"Mmmyou're such a shit liar," She drawled and smirked, squinting with sleep-heavy eyes. "Di'ja get any sleep?"

"Mmhm," Laura said with a nod.

"That's good," Ellen smiled through another yawn.

Laura looked at Sasha, her angelic face still serene and unaware. Somehow Ellen had managed to get both children through the storm on her own.

"How long did it take you to settle them down?"

"Uhh...shit, I don't remember." Ellen chuckled over her own inability to form a coherent sentence causing Laura to let out her own quiet giggle in return. "Izit' still raining?"

With a quick glance out of the window to see their usually crystalline lake still jostled by the inclement weather, Laura nodded.

"Yeah, it is."

"Hmmph," Ellen groaned, not yet ready to start the day. "D'ya wana get in and sleep til' they wake up?"

Laura smiled at Ellen and at the two little ones she had tucked at her sides.

"Yeah, Elle," She answered. "I do."

-end-

 

Notes:

Please review

Chapter 39: Giving Her Away: A Ficlet

Summary:

This post Alpha Station ficlet is the second I've written and added to this series. The first can be found posted within the story with the chapter title "The Shape of Things to Come: A Ficlet. Though I did not receive any ffn feedback on that ficlet I did get some encouragement via tumblr and this is dedicated to someone there who inspired me to revisit the AS universe now and then through these little stories.

I'm not sure if anyone here is still interested in reading these types of entries and Alpha Station one shots or side stories but if you are this story can be placed after the story's end during the family's first year on Earth in the cabin. The twins can be placed somewhere around 2 1/2 years old.

This ficlet is centered around Bill Adama and Saul Tigh.

As with the ficlet "The Shape of Things to Come" the AS Epilogue must be read in order to understand and place the fic.

Feedback is appreciated even if it's to suggest that this story be left alone and all additions abandoned.

Chapter Text

Location: Planet Earth

Former United West Sector

Residence: Tigh/Roslin/Adama

Year: 2318

The air was cool and crisp for the first time in months. The humid lakeside summer had been pushed away with the last of the season's storms ushering in what would be their first fall on Earth.

Bill and Saul sat on the back porch of the cabin. Each lazily lounged in identical rocking chairs that had been one of their summer projects made in the tool shed that Anders had helped them construct. After supper they'd retired outside to enjoy the new weather and watch the lake go dark as the last of the sun's light dipped behind the mountains into the inky night.

"Feels good out," Bill muttered through a suppressed belch, full from the meal that Laura had prepared.

"Does," Saul agreed, looking out into the distance.

Though the changing climate was nice Saul would miss the summer days down by the lake. The kids enjoyed the water so much. He sat trying to think of other things to do with them until spring came again. Fishing was out. They'd kept up the plant based diet they'd all known living on the stations. He and Laura would be taking in the last of what their garden had produced soon enough and the kids were still to young to help with that sort of thing anyway. The winter in the valley was supposed to be too mild for the lake to freeze but he wondered if it would snow like back on Arelon. Perhaps he could build them a sled.

"I really wish Sam and Tawny had taken up our offer," Bill interrupted Saul's internal planning. "It would have been perfect out here. The bugs are all gone but it's still warm enough for everyone to be comfortable."

Saul sighed and rocked in his chair a bit.

"Yeah," He replied.

"Would have made a pretty spot for a wedding," Bill added as he admired the way the lake was already reflecting light from the moon.

"Not the point," Saul answered with a shrug and a grunt. "Tawny knew her father wouldn't have come down."

"Surely the man would have made an exception," Bill challenged. "It's his daughter's wedding."

"Naw. He wouldn't. Trust me.I know the Major well enough. Xao won't step foot on Earth. He'll die up there on Alpha never having seen this place for himself. Tawny knows that, respects it. Having her old man there to present her to be married is more important to her than a pretty setting."

Bill sighed and frowned. The old doctor wasn't unique in his way of thinking. Many Orbit citizens were still unwilling to relocate to the surface from the stations. Many of them older, too set in their ways and their needs to start life over again in a new and foreign place. It sometimes left Bill feeling bitter. So many had fought and given their lives for their people to reclaim the planet. Irrationally such refusals felt almost ungrateful.

"I don't understand Xao's stubborn aversion, but I can appreciate the bride's sentiment."

"Yup," Saul agreed.

"It'll be a good time on Alpha anyway," Bill attempted, though they both knew how painful it was each time they returned.

Every deck and corridor echoed with phantom sounds of a voice they would never truly hear again.

They would hesitate to share happy memories with their children as they walked the familiar halls, fearful of causing Laura or Ellen a sudden painful setback in their shared grief. They hadn't stayed away from Alpha since the move, but visiting came with its struggles.

They'd all been so reluctant to leave the station but their lakeside cabin on Earth had quickly become their home and the place they felt safest and happiest.

"Yeah," Saul sighed. "It'll be great. I just…"

"Boo!" Came a little shriek through the screen door.

"Boo! Boo!" It repeated, its sudden volume making both men turn in surprise to find Sasha standing in the deck's doorway.

"Hey!" Saul exclaimed, widening his eye for effect. "Ya got us, little lady! Scared the wits right out of us!"

Happy with her uncle's reaction the little girl, with her russet curls still damp from a bath and clad in no more than a pair of undies, ventured through the doorway and out onto the deck to face her father.

"Boo, Daddy!"

"What are you doing out here nugget?" Bill smiled, instead of indulging her as Saul had. "You're supposed to be getting ready for bed."

Sasha giggled and turned away from her father's interrogation.

Raising her arms up in the air she grinned sweetly up at Saul.

"Up," She told him, as she began to climb into the safety of his lap.

"C'mere little lady," He said as he gladly helped her up.

"SASHA!" A far off voice called

It was Laura and she didn't sound very happy.

"Does Mommy know you're out here?" Bill asked.

The child shrugged, giggling and turning her face into Saul's chest. Sasha knew exactly who to go to when she didn't want to face a punishment. Saul was putty in the little girl's hands. She sat atop his lap as if it were homebase, as if she were immune to all repercussions just by making it to his side.

"Sasha, look at me," Bill told her, causing her to nuzzle further into Saul's shirt.

Instinctively Saul put his arm around Sasha cuddling her close.

"You excited for tomorrow kiddo?" He asked with a kiss atop her wet head, ignoring Bill's questioning.

"Ya!"

"SASHA!" Laura's voice shouted again from somewhere back in the cabin.

"Nugget, you better get back inside," Bill cautioned.

"I'm gunna be pretty," She announced to Saul excited for the chance to further discuss the upcoming wedding on Alpha Station.

"I know it," He agreed. "You're pretty all the time, rybka"

"I have a dress and I'm gunna get a flowers."

Saul chuckled at the toddler's phrasing.

"Cause your the flower girl, aren't ya?"

"Yes!"

"And I bet you'll be the prettiest one anyone's ever seen too."

"ALEKSANDRA!" Laura shouted yet again, using the child's rarely uttered given name.

"Uh oh," Saul chuckled. "That's never a good sign. You run away from bedtime again, rybka?" He questioned unable to sound even the least bit stern.

Bill tried hide his amusement over Saul's soft interrogation and the girl's guilty smirk.

"Nugget, if you don't get to bed you're not going to be very happy in the morning," He warned. "We have an early shuttle. Don't you want to be rested enough stay up late tomorrow night for the party?"

"Yes."

"Oh she'll be up," Saul said with a snort as he bounced Sasha on his knee making her laugh. "Liam too. Well into the night. Just gotta load them up with lots of sugary wedding cake."

"I'm gunna dance!"

"Oh yeah?" Bill replied, unable to resist Sasha's adorable declaration or the pang he felt in his heart as he thought back to his first Orbit Unity ball; the one and only time he'd danced with his late daughter. "With who?"

"With you, Daddy!"

"That's my girl," Bill said with a wink, melting inside over Sasha's genuine sweetness.

Bill saw Laura so clearly in his daughter's coy little smile. Sasha did, after all so strikingly resemble her. Beyond that though, he saw hints of Katya. Both women's features were fairly obvious in the child as they should have been, but somewhere deep past the girl's jade eyes there was an undeniable whisper of someone else.

...

"Sir! Hey, Admiral! Sir!"

"Someone's calling for you, Bill," Laura said as she leaned into his side. They'd been walking around camp under the bright morning sun for almost a half hour in search of coffee.

Many had called out for one or both of them during their stroll; members of the the Colonial Fleet and random civilians alike, just looking for an acknowledgement or a hello from the former president and the admiral. Despite their morning fatigue and hangovers Bill and Laura smiled and waved back all the while bravely and unapologetically holding hands as they greeted those around them.

It felt right. It felt damned good and, to their unspoken amazement, no one had seemed very surprised at their public display of closeness. If anyone had been they'd made no outward indications.

Bill squinted in the bright New Caprican sun. His head felt foggy and thanks to the woman at his side for the first time in far too long his back was sore from something more exciting than straining it in the gym or sleeping the wrong way on his rack.

"Sir! Hey, Admiral!" The voice shouted again.

"I believe that's your captain running toward us," Laura said as she watched Kara jogging in their direction.

"Starbuck? Where?"

Putting her hands to Bill's shoulders Laura turned him in the right direction. She laughed softly, unsure if the sun glaring on his glasses was causing his confusion or if it was still the residual effects of their night of overindulgence.

"Sir!" Kara shouted as she finally ran up to the pair.

She stopped inches from them and took a big breath, looking happy and relieved to have finally caught up.

"Madam President," She greeted with her hands on her hips, still panting from her hustle.

"Oh, Captain Thrace, it's uh, just 'Laura' now."

"Yeah, that sounds wrong," Kara grimaced.

Laura shrugged.

"It'll take some getting used to I suppose," She said with a hint of a resigned smile, for once not looking or even feeling like she cared to be called anything other than her name.

"I guess," Kara rolled her eyes appearing annoyed at prospect of not only changing what she'd always called the woman standing in front of her, but at having to direct her former title toward a frakking undeserving weasel of a little man.

"What'dya hear, Starbuck?" Bill asked, interested to know just why she'd been so eager to track him down.

"Nothing but the rain."

"Then grab your gun and bring in the cat."

"That's actually why I've been trying to find you, Sir."

"Hm?" Bill replied in confusion, but he'd suddenly lost her focus.

Kara leaned back for a moment observing the closeness between the former president and the Admiral.

It wasn't as if she hadn't noticed the chemistry between the two before. It had been obvious enough, but something was keenly different about them and Kara had little doubt of what it was. They both wore the hint of a lazy smile. An involuntary tell-tale smirk, the origin of which was not hard to assume. They looked as if as if they'd both finally scratched an itch they hadn't been able to reach for ages.

"You two look like ya had some fun last night," She observed with a mischievous, almost feline grin.

Laura's eyes immediately widened and her cheeks flushed at the young woman's gaul.

"What did you need, Captain?" Bill quickly interjected, both as a warning to Kara and a means save his companion from further embarrassment.

The last thing he wanted was for Laura to start regretting things so soon.

"Right," Kara said, taking no time to resume her mission. " Sir, I need you to give me away."

"Huh?" Bill replied ineloquently.

He wore a look of genuine confusion causing Kara to snicker at his uncharacteristically befuddled expression.

"That's the old tradition isn't it?" She smiled a bit sheepishly and shrugged. "A girl's father presents her in front of her family and the Gods to be married."

"Married?" Bill parroted, still looking clueless.

"Gods, Madam President. What did you do to him?" Starbuck teased, stopping just short of asking of the woman if she'd literally frakked the admiral's brains out.

"Knock it off," Bill scolded, not daring to check to see how mortified Laura looked. "What's going on, Kara?"

"I'm getting married. I'm marrying Sam Anders."

"Today?" Laura asked in surprise.

"Today, right now," Starbuck confirmed with a nod and smile. "By the creek over there. In just a little bit."

"Isn't that a bit- sudden?" Bill tested, more than slightly shocked at the news.

"Not really. I mean, that's life isn't it? At least these days anyways. I want to be his wife. I don't want to wait for a tomorrow that I don't know is coming. I just want to enjoy today and I wana enjoy it with Sam."

Bill bit the inside of his cheek halting his initial reactionary comments.

Was it not the very same thing he and Laura had spoken about all through the night? Hadn't that been what they were trying to convince themselves of as their murmured words turned into smokey kisses and their hands roamed freely atop their bed of sandbags. Enjoying the rest of their lives. Enjoying each other. Kara was only doing what they'd just hours ago proclaimed to be the key to living out the rest of their borrowed time.

"I think it's wonderful, Captain," Laura said earnestly, leaning in to take Kara into a happy hug. "Congratulations."

As Bill watched the two he was surprised to find that his heart felt as full as it had in years. He cared so much for the women before him. Something about seeing them embrace in joy gave him a brief feeling of warmth, hope and contentment.

"We already have the priest," Kara said as she turned to face him and Laura took hold of his hand again. "We even traded for a couple of rings. I've got Sam waiting. I just need you, Sir."

Bill smiled and looked into Starbuck's eyes searching for any sign that she didnt in fact truly want what she claimed. He saw only his daughter, excited and asking for his blessing.

"You've got me."
Kara threw her arms out hugging onto Bill in love and thanks. He gave her a kiss to her forehead before letting her go.

"Madam-uh- Laura, will you come too?"

"I'd be delighted."

Less than an hour later Bill had his arm linked with Kara's as the breeze blew through their hair. Laura watched on as their only witness, besides a few onlookers who had noticed what was happening down by the creek.

Bill presented Kara to Anders and the priest.

She kissed him on the cheek before turning and taking Sam's hand.

The simple ceremony was conducted in accordance to Caprican tradition and Bill reached for Laura's hand as the vows were spoken.

When the young couple was pronounced husband and wife Bill cheered like he'd won full colors in triad after an all night game. Laura laughed at his sweet expression of pride and excitement as she offered the newlyweds her own cheers and applause.

Sam and Kara kissed becoming oblivious to the holy man and the rest of the world around them.

Laura noticed when Bill wiped a single tear from his eye with his free hand.

"Wouldn't have pegged you for the type to cry at weddings," She teased leaning close to his ear.

"Never had a daughter," He told her. "Never thought I would get to do that."

She smiled at him and squeezed his hand in hers.

"You did well, Bill."

...

"SASHA, THIS ISN'T FUNNY!" Ellen's voice suddenly shouted from inside the cabin.

"Auntie's yelling now, rybka. You must be in big trouble," Saul ribbed, knowing that it took far more for the kids to ruffle Ellen's feathers than Laura's

If she was angry too then one or both of the twins had tested her patience to the absolute limit.

"I dance with you too, Uncle Saul?" Sasha asked, ignoring his warning, still focused on her excitement over the coming wedding reception.

"Of course, little lady. Absolutely," He told her as his heart swelled inside his chest.

...

"Kit? You almost done?" Saul had called as he leaned through the hatch of the small administration office turned temporary dressing room. "They're waiting for us."

"One sec," Katya answered without turning to face him. She stared into the mirror attempting to fix a lock of hair that didn't need fixing. "Can you close the hatch please?"

Saul did as she asked and walked into the room that was littered with makeup, hair curlers, garment bags and a few empty champagne glasses.

Ellen had been in earlier with Margot and Tawny. The ladies dressed there and spent some time laughing, crying and drinking over the happy occasion. They'd helped Katya with her uniform formals, helped her fix her face and hair and took some photos before making their way to the judge's office, leaving the bride to await Saul's arrival.

"They can't start without you and me," Saul kidded, winking at her reflection over her shoulder.

"I guess," She shrugged, mostly ignoring his attempt at humor.

Saul watched on as Katya fussed halfheartedly with her hair and dusted off imaginary lint from the skirt of her dress blacks.

She was obviously stalling. He didn't exactly mind. The groom wasn't going anywhere and the reception guests would wait; if not for the bride then for the open bar that he was footing the bill for once the ceremony was over.

Saul supposed that Katya wanted to look perfect for the event but as far as he was concerned she already did.

Over the years he'd seen his daughter in countless ballet costumes each more beautiful than then next all perfectly tailored to fit her figure and complement her exquisitely applied stage makeup. He'd seen her dress for parties and nights out to the clubs on Delta Station looking young, bright and sometimes too alluring for his liking. He'd seen her done up dozens of times for pictures that Ellen insisted on getting professionally taken of her twice a year. He'd seen her in every color and with a thousand hairstyles. All of which she pulled off with ease and grace. But as Saul watched his daughter in her formal uniform, her tunic and skirt sleekly pressed and her dark silky hair left to naturally flow down her back, he didn't think she'd ever looked more stunning.

"You look beautiful."

"I don't," She muttered into the mirror.

"Oh yes you do. And you know it," Saul challenged with a bemused smirk. "You've never lacked confidence in your looks, kit."

Though the Tighs had found much joy in their lives with Katya parenthood hadn't always been easy. They'd struggled to raise a teen plagued by occasional bouts of depression and haunted by years of trauma. There were times that they worried she would hurt herself, times when they'd watched her question her self-worth. It was actually a relief to them that she'd never endured any issues with her physical appearance or body image. If anything she liked the way she looked a little too well.

"You know just how beautiful you are, Kat, so don't act like you don't," Saul needled her as she rolled her eyes at his assessment. "There's just one problem."

"And what's what?" Katya caustically asked still looking at him through the reflection.

With a gentle hand Saul reached for his daughter's shoulder and guided her to face him.

"You don't look happy," He told her with a sad smile. Katya's expression remained stolid. Saul narrowed his eye and took her by the hand. "You don't have to do this if you don't want, kit. You two can wait until you're older."

"I am happy," She immediately insisted with a scowl, slightly insulted by his suggestion. "I am not waiting even a day longer. I'm more than happy to marry Alexi. I don't need to wait. I'd marry him a hundred times."

Saul swallowed and nodded. He'd told himself that morning, still hungover from Alexi's stag party, that he would offer his daughter one last chance to back out of the wedding. It wasn't that he didn't approve of the marriage, but Katya and Alexi were so young. As it was he and Ellen would have to co-sign Alexi's part of the marriage licence just as they had with his military entry contract. He still had a few months yet to become a legal adult under Orbit law.

"Then what's wrong, princess? I know something is."

At first Katya's eyes flared and Saul thought that she might shout at him again. Then her shoulders fell and her eyes cast down to her polished pumps. When she spoke her voice sounded low and lost.

"I don't…I...don't know."

Saul inhaled deeply and looked her over once again. As beautiful as she'd always been Katya had always carried around an ugly unseen weight upon her back. It revealed itself now and then. Often at times when she most wanted to be free of it. When she wanted to be happy, to be proud or to celebrate. It pressed down on her as a reminder that it was still there and would never leave.

"Ya know, kit...standing there like that, in that suit, skirt and heels with your hair down...you look just like your mother," Saul observed.

"Yeah right."

"You do."

"You've never said that I look like her before," Katya scoffed. "No one has."

Saul shrugged at her obstinate denial.

"Might not be an obvious resemblance, but I know well enough. When I look at you she's always there," He told her waiting until she finally made eye contact again. "She's there just like Bill is. I see him too. And in some way…" He paused, taking her in once more. "In some way they're with you today, kit."

Katya's skeptical eyes suddenly dissolved into pools of watery wanting. She never could resist listening when Saul spoke of her birth parents, even at times when she tried to pretend as if she didn't want to hear it.

"D'ya know that, Kat? They're with you...Just like your father. Your dad is with you too," He added, not really wanting to but knowing that it was part of the reassurance Katya needed. "In your heart, kit. That's where they live for now. They may not be here physically and I'm damn sure honored to stand with you today on their behalf, but part of each of them lives within you. Not just in the way you look or the way you walk, but- in your loyalty, your bravery and in your love and devotion. All the things that make you who you are. In some way they're all here with you today...Understand?"

For a moment Katya stood frozen in the face of the unexpected sentiment.

Saul waited until she finally nodded before embracing her.

He squeezed her tightly as if his arms were all that was needed to protect her from her past or the unknown future. She held tight to him and sniffled like a child into his neck.

"I'm proud of you, Kat. And I love you very much. You might be some man's wife after tonight, and you might be a big shot pilot these days, but you're always my little girl. Forever. You got that?" He asked, holding back his threatening tears.

"Yeah...Yeah, I know," Katya nodded, stepping back with a shaky smile.

"Good. Good girl. Now are you ready to go? Cause you just say the word and I'll call this whole thing off and meet you at the bar within thirty minutes."

"No," She happily shook her head in protest "No, I'm ready. I'm happy. I want this."

"Alright. Now let's go before Ellen's tear ducts run dry. She's been blubbering all morning."

"Oh I know," Katya snickered.

"You scared, kit?" Saul said, offering his hand to his daughter.

Katya took it and leaned in to give him a kiss on the cheek.

"Not anymore."

...

"Sasha!" Ellen shouted as she burst through the porch door and found the child sitting upon her husband's lap. "Sasha, what are you doing out here?"

"I ran from mommy," The child reported as a matter of fact.

"Well I know that," Ellen said with a roll of her eyes. "She's looking for you and she's getting very mad."

"One got away from ya tonight eh, Elle?" Saul poked.

"Gods, I took her out of the bath and told her to go find Laura for her pajamas. Next thing I know Laura's yelling all over the house. It's getting late. Liam's already in bed. although I doubt he can sleep with all this noise."

"Li sleeping?" Sasha asked.

"I hope so," Ellen said with her hands on her hips. "Just like you should be too, missy. Now get inside. Your hair is still sopping wet. It's too cold to be outside with nothing on."

"SASHA!" Laura's voice was heard shouting through the house again.

"I got her, Laura!" Ellen yelled, leaning back into the house.

"Sasha, now. I mean it," She said turning back to face the girl.

"Go on, nugget," Bill told his daughter. "Uncle Saul can't save you now. He's no match for Mommy and Aunt Ellen."

"That's for sure," Saul chuckled in agreement.

Heeding her father's warning the little girl gave her uncle a hug before sliding off of his lap.

She stopped in front of Bill and puckered her lips like a little fish.

He leaned down and gave her kiss and a warm smile wishing for a moment that she would stay tiny and precocious forever.

"G'night nugget."

"G'night, Daddy."

"C'mon, rybka," Ellen called. "Before Mommy has a cow. You ran her ragged tonight."

The little girl rushed over to her and Ellen scooped her up into a hug despite her frustrations.

"Mommy mad?"

"Mmmhmm. Let's go say sorry and show her that you can be a good girl and do as she says."

"ELLE!?" Laura called, her voice louder and closer than before.

"Coming!" Ellen shouted back before hiking Sasha up on her hip and making her way through the door. "There's pie on the table if you boy's want any," She said over her shoulder as she left.

"Thanks. G'night Sasha," Bill waved as Saul followed suit.

"Night!"

The two men softly laughed over the unexpected visit.

"She's got your number, Saul."

"I know it."

"Never thought my XO would turn into such a softy."

"Yeah, well...they're only little once."

"That they are."

They sat quietly for a moment more listening to the sounds of the forest beyond the lake and to the echoes of times passed.

"It'll be a nice wedding," Bill decided.

Saul sighed and gave a small nod as he resumed rocking in his chair.

"Tawny will make a beautiful bride," Bill added, half thinking aloud, the images of a spunky fresh faced young woman with the morning's sun shining on her flaxen hair still so clear in his memory.

"Yeah," Saul agreed with a grunt, his mind's eye still focused on a past vision of innocence and vulnerability all dressed up in perfect formal elegance and grace. "Yeah, she will."

-end

Chapter 40: When The Bough Breaks: A Ficlet

Summary:

This is another Alpha Station ficlet written as a gift for a friend who has been a supporter of the story for a long time. At their request this scene centers around the Tighs.

It fits into Chapter 33 toward the end before Tawny confronts Laura & Ellen about their physical and mental health and suggests her solution. If you need extra help placing it feel free to PM me. This will only make sense if you have finished the story through Chapter 33.

If you enjoyed this and wouldn't mind additional ficlets or deleted scenes from Alpha Station please let me know in the reviews. I'm hoping 2019 brings a brand new writing project but we will see!

-LLA

Notes:

Please review if you like these Alpha ficlets and deleted scenes -lla

Chapter Text

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 119B: ASSIGNMENT; TIGH

YEAR: 2316

"You're putting the cradle in here?"

Saul froze in place for the briefest of moments when he heard Ellen's voice behind him.

Hoping that she hadn't noticed his minor pause he gingerly stood from where he'd been bent over tightening the last knob on the new little crib that had arrived earlier in the afternoon.

It was cramped enough in Katya's old room. With the baby's cradle pushed between the rack and dresser Saul hardly had space to easily turn and face his wife.

"Thought you were sleeping," He greeted her with a forced smile. She looked tired, standing there in a satin robe that hung open to reveal the crumpled nighty she'd gone to bed in a full day before. "Didn't wake you, did I?"

Ellen shook her head looking past him at the little cot, with its perfect bassinet and perfect tiny stars adorning the white resin legs and base.

"They just delivered it," He added, trying to step out of her view within the limited space he had to move.

Ellen stared at the crib with bloodshot eyes. She had been in bed most of the day, unable to get up even for her usual morning visit to the Estuary with Laura. Though both women did their best to go every day there were times when one or both just couldn't make it.

"It's the design you wanted, isn't it?" Saul tested as his attempt at smiling began to waver despite his best effort.

Ellen looked at the little white cradle as if she were staring through it. Truth be told she hardly remembered picking it out.

Saul had brought up the catalogue on the network one night during dinner. She could recall scanning through the options, mostly to appease him. She'd obviously agreed to something, and there it was.

"It's fine," She finally answered, her voice low and slightly hoarse from crying herself to sleep the night before.

It seemed like the only way she could get herself tired enough to sleep at all lately unless she was blind drunk.

"Seems sturdy," He said, turning to give the crib a light shake for effect. "Wasn't that hard to put together either," He added trying to reinforce the lightness of his words. "Not sure what kind Bill and Laura ordered. This was the only delivery so I guess there's isn't ready. It's cute, right?" He asked looking back at her.

Ellen showed no reaction to his words. She continued to glare at the small piece of furniture as if it were some kind of inanimate intruder within their household.

Saul didn't know what to say next. He stood feeling somewhat stuck between the crib and where Ellen blocked the doorway.

"I suppose it's best this way," Ellen finally spoke as she folded her arms over her chest.

"What is?" Saul asked, looking back to the cradle as if he'd missed something.

"That I just move in here once the baby's home," She answered flatly. "That way we won't wake you."

Saul's brows came together in response to her comment but he forced himself to smile yet again.

"Na, it's only in here for the time being," He said with a tentative chuckle, desperately trying to make light of whatever darkness his wife was ushering in. "We have a few months before he's home. This way we aren't tripping over it in the bedroom. Once he's home we'll move it right by our rack within arm's reach."

Though Saul looked right at Ellen she refused to give him her eyes. They stayed set, narrow and red rimmed focused on the cradle.

"It can stay in here," She said with an almost flippant shrug.

Saul swallowed and cracked a knuckle. The tiny relief of tension it offered allowed him to carry on, still unwilling to give into what she was pushing.

"Well, eventually, sure," He nodded, putting his hands in his pockets. "We'll have to make this room his nursery later down the line, but when he's first home and waking up every hour or two for feedings we'll keep him with us. It'll fit fine in the bedroom. I did the measurements before we put the order in."

Saul waited for the expression on Ellen's face to change, hoping that his attempts at dissuasion would work.

"I'll just move in here," She told him, somehow sounding both listless and insistent at the same time.

Saul's jaw tightened and he moved it back and forth trying to keep his teeth from gritting.

The little room was too full. Full of furniture, full of boxes of Alexi's old things, full of memories, full of sadness and tension that just kept on growing. There was no room any longer for Saul's patience to fit among it all.

"What's the point in that?" He asked a bit more sharply.

Ellen finally looked him in the eye.

"So you won't have to be kept up at night."

"Well, I do if you do," He shrugged.

"No," Ellen returned. "You don't."

"Well frak. I want to," Saul challenged. "How bout that? If you and Liam-Daniel are up I will be too."

The tone of his answer was harsher than he'd wanted it to sound, but his stern pledge of assistance was mild compared to what his frustrations were internally urging him to say.

Ellen rolled her eyes a let out caustic snort.

"Since when?" She bit as she leaned against the frame of the doorway.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, Saul," Ellen said with an exaggerated sigh.

She looked down toward the floor with a bitter smirk.

"No, tell me. C'mon. You seem to have some point you're trying to make. Say it, Elle."

"I'm not trying to make a point of anything, Saul."

The old familiar antagonizing inflection of her voice rang in his ears just the way she'd meant it to, the way she always meant it to when they fought. It worked as well as it ever had.

"The frak you aren't," Saul finally snapped. "Listen, I know you took the heavy end of Kat's nightmares, but don't pretend like I stayed in bed with the covers over my head snoozing while you were holding on to a screaming child all night. I was in here with her almost as much as you were! I stayed up with her when she was sick too, and you know it."

"I'm not talking about that, Saul!" Ellen shouted back, abandoning her indolent posture and leaning further into the room to close off the minimal space between them.

"So what the hell are you getting at? Just say it for frak sake!"

"You seem to sleep peacefully enough these days," She announced with an arched accusatory brow. "Why disturb it? I'm up most nights anyway. Might as well leave them to me."

Saul clenched his fists and puffed some are through his nostrils trying like hell to rein in his temper. In the past he'd never held back his anger when it came to his wife, but now he was afraid to unleash it. She'd always been able to take it. She'd always been able to serve it back to him. Now he considered her far too fragile, far too broken to withstand much of anything, let alone their old ferocious ways of marital dispute.

"Don't, Ellen. Don't do this." He attempted.

"I'm not doing anything."

"Yes you are! Yes you frakkin' are!"

"You don't know what the frak you're even talking about," Ellen sneared.

It wasn't the fire in her eyes that finally pushed Saul to the edge, but the lack of it. Where he had once seen blue flames of fury as they fought he now only saw an angry grey dullness and it infuriated him more than anything that she was shouting at him.

"Ellen...you can't get mad at me because I'm not grieving the same way you are."

Within the split second after he'd said it he thought that he might have seen a spark in her eyes, that his exposure of the raw truth was enough to ignite something within her, but it was gone in a blink.

"Leave me alone, Saul. You sound like an idiot when you say shit like that. I don't need to hear you regurgitating lines from some network self-help article," She mocked in return.

"You can't punish me because I'm not letting this turn me into a basket case! You can't shun me because I'm actually fighting against becoming a hopeless drunk all over again!"

"Oh, frak you!"

Saul had never thought that empty bottles of booze in the bin and sticky unwashed tumblers of liquor left around the cabin would turn his stomach the way they did now. He still drank. It wasn't as if he'd given it up. He just couldn't let it consume him this time. Not with what was coming. He had to be ready. He had to be fit. More than that he wanted to be. Every glass and bottle Ellen emptied told him that she didn't.

"No. Frak yourself, Ellen. I have a job to do. One that's keeping me alive. Forgive me for finding solace in it instead of dreading it!"

"am not dreading this baby!"

"The hell you aren't!"

"Shut up!"

"I put this crib together today hoping like hell you'd have a positive reaction to it, hoping to gods that you'd smile and think of our son sleeping safe inside it, but no! Just like I should have figured, the sight of it is making you sick! You can't handle it!"

"Shut the frak up!"

"You have to be this boy's mother, Ellen. Kat asked you to! You've got to pull yourself together."

"Don't you dare imply that I won't take care of this baby!" Ellen shrieked with a threatening finger inches from her husband's chest.

"You can't even take care of yourself!" He said shoving himself into her accusatory digit as if he were putting his heart to an enemy's rifle. "You're standing here trying to tell me that you'll take care of him on your own at night as if you're in any shape to take care of him at all!" Saul bellowed back, no longer tempering the volume or ire of his voice. "You resent me for being able to sleep through the damn night without popping a fist full of pills or downing a scotch? Why? Because you really think that I don't hurt inside? Or is it because you know how much I'm hurting and for once I'm able to do what I need to in spite of my pain while you're letting it frakking sink you into a godsdamn black hole!?"

He'd gone from not wanting to yell at her to screaming in her face like an insubordinate boot camp cadet.

She'd always been ready to shout back at him, never willing to give him the last word. Now she stood silently staring at him in disgust.

"Go to hell, Saul," She told him after a long beat.

"This is damn sure the closest I've ever been," He answered.

Ellen swallowed and nodded.

"Enjoy," She said as she tightened her robe and turned to leave.

"Where are you going?" Saul called after her, grabbing on to her elbow and tugging her back.

"Next door," She answered as she attempted to pull away.

"Oh no." He tightened his grip on her arm and pulled her back into the room. "No you're not."

"Let go of me!"

Instead Saul took hold of her other arm and forced her to turn and face him.

"Stop it, Ellen! Leave Laura alone! She's in no better shape than you are!" He accused as he held her in place. "You're too damned frakked up and she's too damned sick and tired to have a handle on any of this!"

Ellen flinched as his thumbs dug into the sensitive skin of the crease of her elbows.

When he realized the force that he was holding her with he loosened his grip.

He felt like a godsdamned bastard treating his grieving wife so harshly. He'd lost control. He hated himself for it, but he hated her more for driving him to it. He needed her. Katya needed her. Their son needed her and she was failing them all. She'd always been the one to come through, the one to stay strong. Irrationally the fact that she couldn't this time made Saul angry at her. She'd abandoned her post. She'd lost herself and worst of all she couldn't even admit it.

Everyone around them saw it happening. Even Tawny was worried. The doctor had privately expressed her concern to Saul several times. She'd gone to Bill as often, worried as much about Laura. Though Tawny was dedicated to fulfilling Katya's wishes she told them that she couldn't in good conscious release the high-needs infants to the primary care of two women who were each in such a declining state of health. Laura and Ellen both visited the twins as often as possible, going through the motions as if they were on some kind of maternal autopilot, but everyone could see that they were each getting worse and worse; physically, mentally and spiritually.

It killed Saul when he and Bill finally had to sit down and begin to discuss hiring a nanny. Neither realistically expected their wives to be well enough to handle the newborns.

Both women had once been forces to be reckoned with.

They'd become mere shells of themselves, and who could blame them? Who could fault them for falling apart after watching their young daughter die?

Saul didn't want to, but he did.

"You're both in the same boat, Elle," He attempted in a lower, tone. "Laura can't help you with this. She can't even help herself."

Ellen's eyes narrowed and her lip curled.

"At least she understands."

Saul's lone eye flared at the accusation. Hurt and rage surged through him and into his arms as he shoved her away causing her back to hit the frame of the doorway.

"Bullshit, Ellen! Bullshit!" He shouted over her as she bent her knees and slid down to the floor. "You keep telling yourself that Laura's the only one who understand what you're going through and maybe on one level that's true, but it's you and me who lost our daughter! We lost the girl we raised and loved together every day for over fifteen years! It's our family that just got torn apart! I'm the one who spent day in and day out with you loving her, loving all four of them and I lost them just the same as you! You go to Laura 'cause she lets you wallow in your misery at her side. You go to her because she makes you feel closer to Kat, but you're forming a damn near obsessive dependance with each other and it's not helping anyone!"

"You don't know what you're talking about!" Ellen shrieked up at him before covering her face with her hands.

Saul looked down at her, knees bent and crying into her palms. He hated what she'd become. He'd never pitied her before. The feeling scared the hell out of him.

"I know that at least twice a week I wind up spending the night on the frakkin' sofa because you have to hold on to her to get some sleep." At first Saul wasn't bothered by Laura spending the night now and then. There were nights he'd even called her to come over himself when Ellen was too upset for him to handle on his own. Once Bill and Laura moved into the cabin beside theirs he'd asked for her help rather often. Maybe he was partly to blame but he never thought that it would become such a habit. He never thought that Laura would become his wife's prefered source of compassion and solace. "That's not right, Ellen. I'm right here. I'm the one you're married to. I can comfort you. She may have been Kat's mother, but Laura didn't live the life we did with her. How could she possibly understand what you lost better than I can?"

Ellen couldn't explain in words just how deeply she and Laura were connected, but she knew damn well why she felt more comfortable with her.

"Because," She said looking up at Saul with angry tears still streaming, "you won't just let me feel the way I need to. You want to make it okay and it's not okay. It never will be! You want me to be okay for this baby and I wish I could make that happen in the blink of an eye, but I can't...I can't," She sobbed. "I still can't even believe it's real."

Saul shook his head. He couldn't watch her hide inside a tunnel of her grief any longer. He was going to lose her there.

"You don't want to be okay for him, Ellen. That's the whole damn problem. I know what this is. I know. This isn't just mourning, it's frakking fear. You're afraid. You're afraid that if you get better you're actually going to start embracing all of this. You're going to have to confront the fact that you're getting what you always wanted," He said as he bent to his knees so he was eye level with her again. "We're about to have a baby, a son of our own and you can't handle it. You're afraid to be happy about it. Of what it means. How's that? Do I understand you well enough!? You think that if you ever admit that you're glad to be that baby's mother it'll mean you're somehow glad that Kat is dead!"

"Frak you! Frak you, Saul! Gods! Godsdamn this…"
Ellen screamed and sobbed folding her arms over her bent knees and hidinging her face within them.

"That's it. Isn't it, Elle?" Saul said leaning closer to her, the accusation and anger fading from his words. He reached out and gently put a hand to her trembling shoulder. "You can say it...You can say it to me."

Ellen shook and wept under his palm.

With her face red and wet she peered up at her husband to find him looking at her with a shared desperation hiding just beyond his composed expression.

"In every lifetime- my whole damn life I wanted this," She cried, forcing the words through her impossibly tightened throat. "So badly...I cried to God, to the gods, to you. I begged the frakking universe for it...I always said I would give anything, do anything, give up anything. Anything at all to experience having a baby of my own with you. Anything. Gods anything...Anything! Anything!? Not this! Not her! Gods why this!? I said anything, but I didn't know! I didn't mean it!"

Saul held onto her, covering her trembling body as if he were trying to shelter her from an unrelenting torrential rain.

"I know, Elle, I know, I'm sorry," He cried with her. "I'm so sorry for all of this. I wish I could take your pain. I'd bear it on top of mine just to spare you from it."

"I see you, Saul." Ellen sniffed. "You're so ready to do this. Ready to be this boy's father and I can't understand how…"

Saul squeezed her shoulders just hoping her shaking would start to subside.

"I have to be," He said close to ear. "He's our reason for being now. He's it. Kat gave him to us. Now we're here for him and for that little girl. And they both deserve to have parents who are glad and grateful to love and care for them. What they don't deserve is to grow up feeling like a couple of burdens the way Kat and Lex did. I'll get up every day and I'll take care of him because Kat asked me to, but I'll love him because I can't help it. Because he's precious and innocent, because he's my child now and he needs me to just like our kit did."

Ellen swallowed and it felt like gulping glass.

"I know you're right, Saul, but I'm in so much agony...Every time I open my eyes it blinds me."

He held her even tighter; his pitiful attempt at comforting her, at attempting to somehow absorb her suffering.

"I know it feels wrong to be happy, Elle. Feels wrong to even be comfortable, to take pleasure in anything at all anymore. I know that even a simple smile can bring on so much damned guilt. We tell ourselves that we don't deserve to enjoy what she's missing, that it's wrong to be happy without her. It's grief and it's a son of a bitch to wade through...But...it's stopping us from doing what she asked...and I can't fail her again. I can't. I won't. Kat wanted loving, caring, stable parents for her kids and I have no other purpose left other than to make sure I do that for her. My job is not to punish myself. It's to build a life and a family that these children deserve because she and Lex cant. Please...please don't hate me for trying, Ellen. Don't hate me for having good days or getting the sleep I need when you can't...I'll deal with you not being able to do this. I'll step up this time. I swear I'll figure it out, but I what I can't deal with is you hating me for it. The hope of those kids is all I have. All the effort and strength that I put into not falling apart is because they exist."

Ellen shakily inhaled.

She leaned up after a moment causing Saul to break his hold on her.

He took her hand as an anchor, not wanting to lose contact altogether.

"Ellen...loving and enjoying our son does not mean that we are glad for how he came to be ours," He told her as he gave her hand a squeeze.

He looked at her; eyes still watering and in so much pain.

"I'm tired, Saul," She told him as she shook her head.

His heart clenched in his chest.

He would do as he'd promised.

He would be the one to step up this time if he had to. He would be the one to make sure that his family survived. He would do everything that he'd seen his wife do for years, to the best of his ability, but he wouldn't stop hoping that one day soon she would be well enough to enjoy the gift they'd been given.

With a long exhale and a grunt he stood and offered her his hands. He pulled her up and helped steady her feet as he hugged her to his chest and kissed her dampened cheek.

"Head back to bed, Elle. I'll bring you a bottle of water and some aspirin."

She nodded quietly and turned to exit the room.

"Want me to call Laura?" He offered after her.

Ellen paused in her steps just as she entered the kitchen.

"No," She answered as she turned to look at him still standing in Katya's room in front of the brand new little cradle. "Not right now, at least," She added.

Saul nodded, accepting that he might very well have to call her over at some point during the night.

"Get some rest, Elle."

She nodded and licked her lips, hesitating to continue.

"Will...you come lay with me? For a few minutes? Just until I fall asleep?"

Saul would never give up. He would never give up because in all of their lives he'd never seen Ellen surrender to a damned thing. He still hadn't. Not yet at least.

"Yeah, Ellen," He promised. "I'll be right in."

Chapter 41: Pandora Awakened: A Ficlet

Summary:

Post epilogue. Original story and epilogue are necessary to understand and place this fic. The other AS ficlets are not.

Pandora Awakened: Laura and Ellen are forced to share painful secrets they’ve been keeping from one another when a hidden keepsake from the past suddenly reveals itself.

Chapter Text

Pandora Awakened 

 

It had been an accident. She wasn't used to the room’s layout. She wasn't being careful, too preoccupied with her goal of finding what she was looking for. 

 

Rarely did they ever venture into each other’s bedrooms during the day. The common living space was where most of their time was spent and they had little need to go into the places where they retired for a few hours each night as two seperate families. 

For the children and for their own fortitude they existed as one familial unit most of the time in the center of the home; The living space where they watched movies and talked, the study where Laura taught the children, the kitchen where they ate their meals. Visiting the children’s rooms interchangeably to tuck them in, or to play with them was commonplace most days but their own bedrooms were very separate. Privacy was valued and respected by both couples. It had to be if their pledge to cohabitate into the foreseeable future was to be successful. 


If Sasha hadn't cried herself to sleep at naptime over her lost blankie it never would have happened. After a frantic and useless search around the house Laura had given the little girl Casey to snuggle with instead. Just until the security blanket could be found. The stuffed bear would do for the time being. 

Sasha had sniffled into its fur as Laura rubbed her back until sleep took over her toddler-sized frustrations. Once the little girl was down Laura left the room to continue the search. She was determined not to go through the same tantrum when bedtime rolled around. With Bill and Saul gone for the day it would only be she and Ellen there to deal with the night time routine. The twins could be a handful and some nights the task took all four of them. 


With almost every other inch of the home searched Laura was at a loss. She wondered for a moment if perhaps the blanket could be in Liam’s room.

 

The poor little guy had been feeling ill the night before and Ellen had been up with him well into the early morning hours. It was past noon and they had yet to emerge. 

 

With careful quiet steps Laura wandered down the haul to the Tigh’s end of the large cabin. 

Stopping at Liam’s room she licked her lips and stared at the initials L.D.T that Saul had carved into the door. It was shut and the lights were off. 

Presuming that it meant the boy and his mother were getting some much needed rest Laura skipped inspecting his room for his sister’s blanket. If it was in there Sasha would just have to wait. There was only one room left to search.

 

Down the hall Saul and Ellen’s door was open.
Mindful of her footfalls, not wanting to wake anyone Laura silently made her way to it’s frame and paused before peering inside. 

 

It wasn't as if she’d never been in there before, it just usually wasn't in the light of day, and never uninvited. As conscious as they were of each other’s privacy and boundaries there were occasional times when the status quo just wasn't practical. Both Laura and Ellen still suffered from occasional bad dreams. Nightmares really. Most often it was one or the other. Either Laura woke up in a cold sweat or Ellen in tears, but there were occasional times that they actually shared a nightmare. A specific nightmare; one so vivid and wrenching that Ellen often compared it to some kind of awful involuntary projection. It was not unlike the phenomena of Laura’s past dreams she’d shared with Athena and Caprica. Because of that she was less than shocked when they’d first realized what was happening.

It happened for the first time not long after they’d permanently moved down to Earth and into the cabin. Both women would dream that they’d been awoken by the calls of a child. A child calling for her mother from somewhere out of sight. They always knew instantly that it was neither Liam nor Sasha calling for them. Somehow they each knew with certainty that it was Katya’s voice, at least what she’d sounded like as a young girl. Despite knowing logically that hearing their late daughter’s voice was impossible both women would leave their respective beds in their dream state, exit their rooms and begin frantically rushing toward the sound. The haunting calls of “Mommy” seemed to change locations every time Ellen or Laura felt they were getting close, leading their desperations to rise. Ultimately chasing the voice around their own sides of the cabin would lead them to find one another in the center of the home. Most times, seeing each other was enough to snap them out of the dream. They would lock eyes and then come to in their own beds.

But on a few occasions seeing each other hadn't been enough and the nightmare continued. They would hold each other's gaze for a beat, but only until the voice called again, this time from outside, back toward the direction of the lake. 

 

On these rare occasions the two would dart off, exiting out the back door, both running and shouting out for Katya at the top of their lungs. The voice would ultimately lead them to the edge of their dock where it disappeared into the lake water. The depths of which they knew only held their daughter scattered remains. There they would go to clutch one another in shared despair only to wake up sweating and crying on opposite sides of the house. 

Usually they’d both rise, exiting their respective bedrooms in a hurry to meet in the center of the home just as they had in their dream, finally finding the comforting embrace that had eluded them within it. On those nights they’d retreat to the guest room together in hopes of finding peace and a few more hours of sleep without disturbing the rest of the family. 

 

That nightmare along with others of similar vein often caused both women to suffer from clusters of painful grief and depression that intruded on their otherwise happy lives for days and nights at a time. Sometimes they would suffer the same laps, especially after the shared dream, but most often it was one at a time. 

 

During those times, just as they had during the first year after Katya’s death, they often sought each other out for comfort on one side of the cabin or the other. Whether they spent the night under the covers held tightly together in grief or sat up sipping tea and commiserating or even trying to make one another laugh it usually meant that either Bill or Saul were sent to the extra bedroom. 


It happened less and less for each of them as time went on but it was still part of their lives. It was part of what made it so odd for Laura to step inside a place that she usually only visited in the dark of night under duress. Because of this the room caused a sense of sadness to swell within her. 

 

Entering the room after her slight hesitation she told herself that she would be in and out. Just a quick look in case Sasha had dropped her blanket when she’d run in to tell Saul good morning and give him a hug before he left for his day trip.

 

Laura bent down to check under the bed. 

There was no worn out little blanket to be found.

 

 Upon standing back up was when it happened. 

Her elbow knocked right into the dresser top sending some of the Tigh’s belongings loudly clattering to the hardwood floor. 

 

Laura cringed as the intrusive noise crashed through the calm quiet afternoon, at first far more worried that she’d woken someone up with her clumsiness rather than if she’d broken something. 

 

She stopped herself from swearing out loud and paused for a moment, listening for any voices or movement beyond the bedroom door. Assuming that everyone had slept through her fumbling she finally looked down to survey the damage. Not far from her feet she saw Ellen’s hairbrush. More concerning was what she found a foot beyond it. A small resin box, fallen open with it’s contents scattered about the floor. 

 

Laura had noticed the box atop the Tigh’s dresser before. She even remembered it being in their bedroom back on Alpha. She’d never thought much about it, assuming it was Ellen’s jewelry or Saul’s Orbit Patrol ribbons and medals, but she had known it was there, always in the same spot.

 

 She felt so stupid and clumsy.

 

Dropping to her knees she began to search the floor. When she reached for the first item she winced as she realized what it was; a pair of Orbit Patrol wings. 

 

Her stomach dropped as she surveyed the other trinkets around her. Suddenly she realized what she’d just spilled all over the floor.

 

 Clutching the pin in her palm she reached for another item with her free hand. A small white organza sachet, cinched closed with a satin ribbon. As she held it between her fingers she could see the contents through the sheer fabric; a small lock of thick black hair. 

 

Laura’s eyes filled with tears. She quickly placed both treasures in her lap and reached for the fallen box. She had just knocked a capsule full of precious mementos to the ground. All at once she felt incensed to gather every priceless item and get them all back where they belonged. She wasn't hurrying so that Ellen wouldn't find out. In fact she had every intention of telling her what happened. She just couldn't stand the thought that her daughter’s cherished belongings had been slammed to the floor to roll under the furniture with the dust bunnies and the twins’ ever regenerating cracker crumbs. She had to make sure she found everything. 

 

She blinked the tears out of her eyes needing her vision clear enough to search. Placing the wings and sachet back into the box Laura reached for the next closest item, a single baby shoe; a tiny ballet slipper. The mate to the one Ellen had given her back on Alpha. Laura cherished hers but it was rare that she took it out, knowing the emotive response it usually caused. She and Ellen had reunited the pair only once, to put them on Sasha’s feet for picture. She could still remember how they each put one on the infant, both lamenting over never having seen their daughter at that age.

 Laura held it, brought it up to her nose and imagined she could still smell the scent of milk and baby lotion. She put it back inside the box before the knot in her throat became too painful. 

 

Back to her task another look around the floor recovered a small plastic pill bottle by the foot of the bed. At first Laura wasn't sure if it had come from the box, considering that it could have been knocked off of the dresser top along with Ellen’s hairbrush. Squinting in the blue-grey light coming through the bedroom window drapes she read the label. Sure enough it had Katya’s legal name and station number. 

 

Each object that Laura found hurt to look at and hold but the bottle was also confusing. Kat’s pilot wings and a curl of her hair made sense, but an old medicine bottle seemed like an odd keepsake. Something inside of it rattled as Laura handled it. She squinted through the cobalt plastic. There were no pills left inside. Whatever was kept in it seemed small and metallic

 

“What happened?” Ellen’s voice interrupted, startling Laura’s inspection.

 

Laura flinched in surprise, caught off guard by Ellen’s appearance.

 

“Are you alright? I heard a loud…” Ellen’s words trailed off as she seemed to focus in on what Laura was holding.

 

“I’m so sorry, Elle,” Laura said shaking her head in exasperation. “I was just looking for Sasha’s blanket. I can’t find it anywhere. I thought I’d just take a look and see if she’d left it in here. I wasn't paying attention and my stupid elbow hit the damn dresser. Some of your things fell. I was just...picking them up. I really am sorry. Gods, of all things to knock over...I’m so sorry.”

 

Ellen wordlessly walked over toward where Laura knelt on the floor by the side of the bed. She sat down beside her, all the while keeping her eyes on the contents of Laura’s hand.

 

“I shouldn't have come in here. I should have just waited and asked you to look for it but Sasha cried for it all morning and I just wanted to search as best as I could while she was napping and I had the free time...I really am sorry.”

 

“It’s okay,” Ellen said, her focus still drawn to the small bottle. 

 

She put her hand out and extended her palm silently asking Laura for the object. 

 

Without hesitation Laura handed it over. Dismissing the oddity of it she resumed her scan over the area to collect the rest of the scattered objects. 

 

“I don’t think anything broke,” she said as she found a small hair barrette and then a child’s costume bracelet made up of pink and purple plastic alphabet beads spelling out KAT. 

 

She quickly returned each item to the box as new tears began to fill her eyes once more.

 

“It’s okay , Laura,” Ellen repeated. 

 

“I know. I know,” Laura said sniffing back the swell of emotion. “I just- I wasn't expecting to see all of this.”

 

Ellen nodded and looked back down at the bottle in her lap, brows knit and cheeks tinged red as if she were somehow ashamed of something. 

 

Laura looked around once more. She found only one more token, a little silver charm shaped like a patrol ship. 

 

Returning the charm to the box she looked at the items and smiled sadly as she ran a finger over each one.

 

“I think I’ve got it all, unless something slid under the furniture. Do you want to check and make sure nothing’s missing?” Laura asked as she looked up to find Ellen still staring intently. 

 

“I’ll check later. It’s fine,” Ellen answered dismissively, not nearly as upset over the box of momentos as Laura presumed she would be. 

 

“Her Alpha necklace,” Laura thought aloud. The simple A symbol that Katya once wore usually hung from Ellen’s neck most days. “I didn't find it. Was it in here?”

 

Ellen took a moment to reply as if she were only half listening. 

 

“No. No I wore it the other day,” she answered dully. “It’s in the bathroom.”

 

Her only concern seemed to be the strange bottle she held. 

 

“Oh...Okay.”

 

There had been half a dozen priceless things within the little box, most of which Laura envied Ellen for having to cherish. From the lock of hair to the adorable plastic beads it was all so sweet. All of it except the bottle. It seemed to be such an odd keepsake for a mother to save yet Ellen seemed absorbed by it. 

 

“Ellen, are you okay? I’m truly sorry for coming in here without asking and...”

 

“I’m fine, Ellen cut her off. “It’s- fine,” she repeated without ever looking up. 

 

Laura watched her with a furrowed brow growing more and more concerned. It wasn't out of the ordinary to see the haunted expression on Ellen’s face when they spoke of their daughter. It was what Laura felt emanating from her that was disturbing. She couldn't place it. 

 

“Ellen?” Laura said, trying to get her attention. “Look at me.” Something wasn't right. She could feel it hanging heavily in the shared air between them. When Ellen finally looked up her eyes were rimmed red. “Elle, what is that?”



With a deep breath that shook the whole way down Ellen looked back at the bottle held tightly in her fist and heavy droplets began to fall from her eyes. 

 

“Elle…”

 

There’s still so much I haven't told you about her, Laura, ” Ellen wept. “ Some things that I wish never happened. Things it still hurts to even think about.”

 

Immediately Laura felt her heart sink and a shiver traveled down her spine. Ellen had shared so much with her over the past few years, never really shying away from explaining the challenges in their daughters young life. To learn that there were still things so grave that Ellen had kept them from her sent a rush of fear through Laura’s bones.

 

Cautiously she scooted herself over toward Ellen as close as she could. They both sat with their backs against the foot of the bed, shoulder to shoulder. 

 

“Please...tell me…” Laura whispered.

 

The request made Ellen’s tears fall harder. Laura winced wondering what past darkness the other woman was holding on to. Whatever it was Laura knew one thing; there was no pain that she wouldn't endure with women beside her in hopes that sharing the burden would lessen the weight for each of them. It was how they lived now, sharing their joy and their grief interchangeably. 

 

I always tried my best, ” Ellen sobbed. 

 

“I know you did,” Laura assured, placing her shaking palm over Ellen’s trembling knee. “I know that.”

 

I gave her all that I had and sometimes it just wasn't enough. I just wanted to love her and make her happy but there were times I couldn't do both at the same time.”

 

“Ellen, I've told you, I don't expect any explanations when it comes to how you raised Kat. Not anymore.”

 

“I’m not talking about me , Laura. I’m talking about her .”

 

Laura paused and swallowed. 

 

“What do you mean?”

 

Ellen’s lip quivered as she tried to reply. If she was going to tell Laura the truth she had to be able to do more than just snivel at her side. She sucked a gulp of air down and did her best to compose herself before attempting to speak again. 

 

“Saul and I did all that we could to keep her happy and healthy...And for the most part...she was. She was,” Ellen began as Laura listened with worried apprehension. Just a few short years earlier Ellen would have proclaimed that she couldn't care less about what Laura thought of her parenting. Now disappointing her in that way was something that she absolutely dreaded. “We gave her everything she wanted. Spoiled her rotten every which way from toys and games to clothes and concert tickets on Delta. She had all the attention in the world. She had friends, she had hobbies, she was successful at so much and- most of the time- she was happy...but there were other times…” She paused. “...there were these- phases.”

 

“Phases?” Laura echoed.

 

“Weeks...sometimes months at a time when Kat would suddenly fall into such a dark place within herself.”

 

Laura’s eyes went back down to the medicine bottle that Ellen was still clutching. Suddenly her mouth went dry imagining the pills had been for some emotional or behavioral issue.

 

“She would get into fist fights with other kids around the station, she would pick arguments with me and Saul over the stupidest things,” Ellen explained as she shook her head at the painful and frustrating memories. “Her already awful appetite would disappear or she would refuse to eat in front of us…That was something strange...as if we made too big of a deal about it. She...felt- I dunno- watched - I think...Sometimes she would only eat in private.”

 

Laura closed her eyes tight at the awful recounting. She couldn't help but picture her daughter in such a desperate state; yet another moment of time she’d missed the opportunity to help her through. Though she had no idea if she would have had the slightest notion of how to do so she still yearned to scoop the broken girl into her arms and promise her that everything would be okay. 

 

As Laura opened her eyes and saw the anguish on Ellen’s face she moved her hand to gently take hold of the woman's forearm that shook so hard the contents of the bottle made rattling noises inside. 

 

“She was depressed,” Laura presumed. “That’s often clinical...chemical. It wasn't your fault.”

 

Ellen let out a tear strangled breath before going on. 

 

We sent her to doctors and counselors and I dunno...Maybe they helped. Maybe it would have been worse if we hadn't. We tried to talk to her, we never stopped telling her how loved she was and how wanted she was.”

 

“Ellen…”

 

You always tell me that you want to know everything , Laura. Everything I’m willing to share, everything I can remember. I can’t keep telling you about ballet recitals and birthdays and the cute little pranks she’d pull on Saul, because without the bad…” Ellen paused as she grimaced down at the bottle. “Without the bad you’ll never understand how much the good times meant to us...to her…And I just need you to know…I need you to know how hard we tried for her.”

 

Laura clenched her teeth and braced herself. They’d gone through the worst together already and they were still surviving every day. She could take whatever Ellen was about to unleash as long as they were side by side.

 

“Tell me,” she said softly. 

 

Ellen took another long shaky breath and blew it out. She rolled the bottle between her fingers causing the metallic object with it to clink around some more. The sound of it made her tears run hot, but even so, she spoke through them.

 

“She was almost fifteen. It was just a couple of months until her birthday. We had a big party planned for her and everything. She was nearing the end of her primary schooling and she was ready to choose an independent study course. The lab had even tentatively accepted her apprenticeship. The boys had moved aboard the station earlier that year and after her little fling with Blaze she and Alexi were finally getting closer. She had so much to look forward to- but in spite of it all she…just suddenly dropped into one of her- moods,” Ellen explained. “It was so damned abrupt. As if she’d literally woken up on the wrong side of the bed or something. I blamed teen hormones at first but then...it didn't go away. She became angry and quiet. Hardly even spoke to Tawny or the boys. She ignored Margot when she’d call asking to visit. She only left her room if she had a class or a ballet session to get to. Her nightmares were awful. The more we tried to console her the angrier she would get. We thought it would pass like these things usually did. We figured that we’d just have to help her through it, weather the storm that she created for a few weeks and wait for the light at the end like usual- but this time…” Ellen said as her voice cracked with the return if her tears “But this time…”

 

Lords ,” Laura whispered in an involuntary gasp of dread. 

 

She could feel it. Even if she hadn't put the pieces together, she'd be able to feel it. It was pouring out of Ellen like a wailing river.

 

Unable to gain her resolve again Ellen went on through her tears.

 

One night after dinner Saul went to Kat’s bedroom to bring her some dessert. He’d ordered these big beautiful Beta cherries in hopes that she wouldn't be able to resist. It was kind of a peace offering. He’d been losing patience with her a lot. He knew that it wasn't her fault, but she could be so damn frustrating and they were fighting so much . He just wanted the whole thing to be over, he wanted to see her smiling again,” Ellen rasped. She closed her eyes against the memory and blew out a long stream of her breath before continuing. “He knocked on the door. She didn't answer. He called her name and when she didn't open the door her got fed up and barged on in. He didn't see her on the bed where she usually sat reading or watching videos. The door to the head in her room was open and the light was on. He called her name a few more times...and then...then he walked over…”

 

Laura cringed, shutting her eyes tight as if it would block out her mind’s eye from seeing what she could only presume was coming. 

 

He found her on the floor with her back slumped against the shower door…” Ellen’s voice squeaked past her lips and lost its volume. 

She tried to fight against the growing pain in her throat but the anguish of the memory momentarily won out as she struggled to speak.

 

Beside her Laura’s eyes were now open, gone red in a mix of shock, anger and desolation. Her jaw was clenched like a vice in order to stop the strange inclination she felt to chatter her teeth as if she were freezing. Her first instinct was fury; outrage that something so horrific was allowed to happen.

 

“How…” She tensely gritted.

 

With a sharp gasp Ellen pulled her knees to her chest and bowed her head down against them.

 

Laura bit her tongue hard. She needed to stop the anger seething inside of her. There was no doubt that Ellen could feel it whether she was reading her or not. 

 

“Just tell me how...please,” she said again, trying to soften her bitter tone.

 

Ellen sobbed some half jointed and desperate babble into her lap for a moment, a mix of apologies, hiccups and whimpers before actual words began to form again.

 

Saul started shouting for me, yelling, calling her name trying to wake her up. I got in there and I saw her and all I could do was scream at the top of my lungs. Gods I screamed…”

 

Ellen could still hear her own cries echoing in her ears. She’d screamed as wildly and as loudly only one single time since then. 

 

“Tell me how ,” Laura insisted through her clenched jaw.

 

Overcome with the knot formed in her throat Ellen shook her head and winced. Unable to speak, she held out the bottle for Laura to take.

 

For a moment Laura stared at it as if she were being offered a vial of poison. In a manner of speaking, she supposed she was.

With a trembling hand she reached out to take it. 

 

Squinting through the dark blue plastic she finally made out the bottle’s contents. It wasn't as if she hadn't on some level expected what it would be, but even so a sharp gasp escaped her lips and she dropped the bottle as if it had suddenly grown scalding hot and burned her fingertips.

 

My gods,” she cried as it fell and clattered to the narrow space on the floor between them.

 

The tiny razor was recognizable as the cheap military issued type of blade that came inside MREs and emergency essential kits packed alongside calorie supplements, lighters and bandages. Every military family had at least a half dozen kits around their homes as they were issued every quarter year and rarely used. The Tighs had been no exception with a kit in every room and closet and several tucked inside drawers and cabinets. 

 

Lifting her head from her knees Ellen reached down and retrieved the rueful keepsake. She heard Laura choke back a sob when she held it up to examine again. 



She couldn't get to her left wrist because of her station cuff… ” Ellen said before a deep intake of breath. “So she’d only done the right, but...this empty bottle of pills was on the sink. Leftover pain medicine she’d been prescribed months earlier after having an ankle procedure on a dance injury. I don't know how many were left in there but they were gone and- she wouldn't open her eyes ….. Frak me! Godsdamn it! I’d thought about it...I had...It crossed my mind...She’d hurt herself a few times before...but I never thought she would actually...She had so much going for her. Her life was full, she was so loved, we were getting her help. I couldn't fathom why she would…”

 

Ellen broke down unable to continue. 

 

Laura rubbed at her eyes cursing herself for having ever walked into the Tigh’s bedroom and then cursing herself double for wishing that she’d avoided it all instead of enduring it the way Ellen had all these years.

 

“I know that you’re angry ,” Ellen cried. “ I’m sorry.”

 

Laura gulped hard but her throat was so dry it hardly helped her regain her voice. 

“Not at you. I’m not mad at you.”

 

“I don’t blame you if you are.”

 

“Ellen, I’m not, I’m just…” Laura stopped and let out a huff, unable to describe what she was actually feeling “I want to know the rest...Will you tell me?”

 

Ellen ran her fingers through the crown of her hair. It was the one thing in Katya’s childhood that she and Saul had agreed to keep private. When she was alive they figured that it was her story to tell her birth parents if and when she ever felt comfortable, but they both knew a big part of their decision was due to how responsible they felt; humiliated that they had let it happen and failed to keep Bill and Laura’s daughter safe as promised. 

Ellen licked at her lips. She glanced up to face Laura and was given a nod of encouragement to go on. The feeling of outrage coming from her had lessened, replaced by pain and utter disappointment. It was almost worse.

 

“Please?” Laura asked again.

Ellen nodded. 

“Yes,” she agreed. She’d never meant to stop. She had to tell Laura all of it. It was just so hard to get it out. She wondered how Saul would react later when she told him that Laura knew and that Bill would probably find out too, sooner than later. He wouldn't resent her honesty but she knew he was going to be mortified. 

 

Saul was able to determine that she was still breathing, but it was shallow, her skin was pale and her lips were turning purple. I found something to wrap her wrist and then he picked her up and ran. I ran after them. Somewhere along the line to med ward people noticed and a call was put out. Medics met us and rushed her to the clinic in no time. Xao wouldn't let us behind the curtain. Gods I wanted to kill him! They pumped her stomach and they sealed her wrist in a matter of fifteen minutes but I swear it felt like a lifetime. Before she ever woke up they’d stabilized her and transferred her to the civilian side of the station. She was put into the clinic attached to the adolescent psychiatric ward. Saul was beside himself. He could hardly look at her without breaking down. I sent him away because I didn't want her to wake up and see him like that. He went off and he got drunker than I’d seen him in eons,” She recounted with an involuntary hitch to her breath. “I sat with her and when she opened her eyes... as soon as she looked at me her face just crumpled and she cried ‘I’m sorry! I'm so sorry, I love you, Auntie. I didn't mean it, I swear, I’m sorry…” And I just kept asking her ‘why, kitten...why?”

Ellen pinched the bridge of her nose and tried to keep her composure, or at least the semblance of it that she had.

 

“What did she say?” Laura asked in a near whisper, not sure if she was ready for the answer.

 

“She said that she didn't know. She just kept saying that she was sorry, that she would never do that to m e, that she would never leave me …”

 

“I said, ‘But you tried, baby. You frakking tried’. She just kept begging me to forgive her and telling me that she didn't mean it, that she hadn't meant to hurt me like that... and I never really understood what she meant. Whether she was trying to tell me that she’d been out of control, if she’d done it as some kind of drastic cry for help or if she’d just completely regretted what she’d done after the fact. I tried to ask and listen but she never would say much else about that day. Whenever I brought it up she would always say the same things- “ I didn't mean it. I’m sorry. I didn't mean it.” We got her the help that was suggested by the doctors and then some, but I stopped asking her why. She seemed so damned ashamed of it ,” Ellen finished, shaking her head with decade old despair and disgust. 

 

“Did she ever hurt herself again?” Laura attempted after a beat.

 

Ellen shook her head.

 

“Not like that...By the time she was sixteen things were so much better. Maybe because her adolescent hormones had leveled out or maybe the help she’d gotten worked. She was even able to go off medication. Her behavior improved. She knew that if anything showed up in her military psyc-eval that she would never be let into basic. They weren't allowed to look into childhood medical records, but she understood that she had to keep it together if she wanted to be accepted in.”

Laura nodded, trying to take the avalanche in. 

 

“Things were better as she got older but…I think once she started to drink she used it to cope when she fell into one of her episodes...but who was I to say much when it came to that? Those depressive instances were less severe and becoming pretty rare. She seemed better than she’d ever been and if letting loose and having a few drinks on her downtime helped her then Saul and I were fine with it. Looking back...I know now that she had the start of a problem. I know that was probably our fault. I see that now. I know you saw it as soon as you met her,” Ellen cringed.

 

Laura remained quiet, knowing that nothing she said on that matter would be helpful.

 

 “I just… I never understood what frakking happened that day. It hurt me so much that my child could be so damned unhappy. I had always looked at her and seen perfection even though l knew how damaged she was. I tried so hard to make sure that she was cared for and content and it was like I’d failed completely. I couldn't wrap my head around the reality of it. That maybe she hadn't wanted to do it, but in the moment she just needed her pain to stop. It's just that...I had always wanted to live. At my darkest, at my most desperate and devastated I never wanted to give up...not until I lost her. Now I guess I understand what it feels like...but back then...I couldn't help her. I know that from the time you first met her, before you even knew who she really was you thought that I was too overbearing, too involved in her life as an adult. Part of that was just how close we were, but part if it was because I’d promised myself I would never let it happen again. I swore I would never again let my child get to that point, that I would never miss a frakking hint, or a clue or a godsdamn warning sign. And to me that meant knowing everything I could and being involved in every aspect of her life that she’d let me. I know you thought I treated her like a kid, and I guess I did, but I didn't know how else to try to protect her. 

When we adopted her I just wanted to save her. The day she tried to...the day it happened, I felt like I’d totally failed her .”

 

Laura’s brow lowered and she reached out to touch Ellen’s shoulder.

 

“Listen, Elle, you may have been at fault for a degree of Kat’s snarky attitude and her smart-ass mouth and perhaps your drinking wasn't always the best example, but, one thing that I’m confident that you never contributed to was her sadness or depression. I may not have experienced your relationship with Kat for very long, but I witnessed enough to know that most of her happiness and confidence existed because you showed her how to achieve it.”

Ellen looked up at Laura with swollen eyes.

 

“It’s hard not to feel guilty. I felt so responsible…”

 

“You weren't. She loved you so desperately ...No one... No one could have loved or cared for her more. I’ve told you that over and over and you know it’s true,” Laura pledged. And she fully believed it. No matter how much she wished that she’d gotten to raise her own daughter she knew that Ellen loved Katya just as much as she would have. “You are not to blame, Ellen, not for this. Gods ...I  probably had more fault in it than you did.”

 

“Frak, Laura,” Ellen returned with raised brow. “I mean the origins of her existence were certainly part of her deeper issues but that was never your fault. You know that.”

 

“I don’t mean that,” Laura returned as her eyes went down to her lap. “I mean, sometimes things like that...are genetic. Maybe she was predisposed to such tendencies because of me.”

 

Ellen stared back at her with a confused expression, her mind clouded with the fog of emotional exhaustion. It took a few moments before she finally felt what Laura meant.

 

“Shit, Laura,” she winced.”I’m sorry.”

 

Laura shook her head and looked away as if trying to avoid Ellen’s reaction. 

“It wasn't directly,” she began to explain. “Not like Kat. I don't think I could ever do what she did. I probably never had the frakking guts.”

 

Ellen hugged her knees closer to herself.

 

“What’dya do then?” she asked.

Laura looked down at her hands as if she were studying them.

 

“I made a very deliberate choice to- stop getting my annual exams.”

 

“You mean…”

 

“I just stopped going,” Laura said cutting Ellen off. “I knew I had the gene. I’d had the testing done when I was twenty,” Laura admitted. “I’d kept up with it for years...Then one day I stopped. With an aggressive family history and two past scares I decided to stop getting check ups.”

Laura could remember Cottle questioning her about it. Why would an intelligent, educated woman with a family history and access to the finest doctors in Caprica go five years between breast exams? She’d told him that it was none of his business and deflected with a comment about his smoking and the claim that she was busy. It was such a weak excuse and her guilty conscious had irrationally wondered if he’d suspected.

“When I found something on my own one day...I ignored it. I knew what it was the day I frakking first felt it in the shower. I knew the moment I touched it...and all I could think was, what took so damn long? I pushed it to the back of my mind, but I knew what I was doing. I let it go on for the better part of a year before the pain and symptoms began and I figured that I should start to prepare for what was coming. I knew what my diagnosis would be. I knew I’d waited until it was too far gone. I never had any intentions of treating it. None. Not with anything that would work. A big part of me welcomed it. I thought; this is how my mother died. This is how my grandmother died and her mother before her. I can’t escape it. I should die this way too,” Laura recalled. 

 

“Gods,” Ellen let out in a whisper.

 

“It was still hard to hear that official diagnosis, though,” Laura continued.”To hear a doctor tell me that I was dying. It wasn't the death sentence that suddenly hit me. It was the reality of what I was going to endure before it was over. I realized that I would have to suffer to get to the end and I wasn't prepared for it. I realized, my grandmother had my mother to care for her. My mother had me. I was going to suffer and die alone.” Laura stopped and let out a sigh. ”It had always just been this internal thought and suddenly it was real and I’d done it all to myself. Part of me was glad and part of me was in a panic thinking, what the frak did I do? Then...then the worlds ended...and somehow I was given a reason to live...given a sense of responsibility to go on. But if I’m being completely honest I wasn't glad or greatful to be alive until after Hera saved me,” she finished with a sad smile as she always did when thinking of the child who’d saved her life. She often imagined Hera on the other side looking after Katya and it comforted her.

 

“I didn't realize, Laura,” Ellen said as she struggled to absorb everything. “But...why?”


Laura shrugged and gave her a dark smirk. 

“I just...didn't care anymore. I didn't have anyone left to care about. I’d lost my family and I didn't want to care about anyone new. I had many friends but no one too close. I had a married lover whose life I didn't fit into and after too many years it had run its course. This is going to sound pathetic, and it was, but it isn't easy to go through life knowing that you don't really love another living soul and...no one loves you either. I’m aware that in part the way I lived my life caused that to be the case, but it didn't make it easier. And though I did my best when it came to my work, I figured that I had made as much of an impact as I ever would. I started out my career doing something I loved so much and let it lead me into something as corrupt as politics. Telling myself that I was fighting for the colonies kids from the inside had started to feel like a godsdamn lie. All of my hobbies and interests put together weren't enough to fill the void I had and I felt...done. I thought I was done. But...I was wrong…I was so wrong. I didn't know it at the time but… I didn't mean it, ” she said reaching out for Ellen’s hand.



“I didn't mean it, Elle,” Laura repeated as their fingers warmly interlaced. 

 

Ellen nodded in understanding but her heart wrenched hearing Laura say the words.

 

“Then...when I resurrected on Alpha…the same feeling-it took over again.”

Ellen felt a sense of guilt begin to swell inside of herself. 

“I knew you weren’t well...I saw that, but I never thought it was that bad,” she admitted. “I was just so concerned with what you being back meant, for the prophecy, for my family...I knew that you were angry about being here, I saw that you were unhappy, that you weren't exactly stable. I know I even mocked you for it at the time. Frak me. I just never considered...I’m sorry,” Ellen grimaced. 


She’d been in charge of overseeing Laura’s wellbeing. Her selfishness had blinded her. 

 

“My reasoning wasn't exactly the same as before, but there was a familiar haunting feeling from back then. I didn't want to be here. I didnt think there was anything for me in this life. I wanted to go back to wherever you’d pulled me from. No one could help me. I’d been brought back after all, with intent. This body felt wrong, this place and time felt wrong and I wanted a way out. There were times my mind wandered and I thought about how I could make it happen on my own. Bill knew it, suspected, eventually he called me on it and he all but begged me not to... For weeks I had to fight that wild despair telling me that this life had nothing to do with me, but then…”

 

“Kat,” Ellen finished for her.

 

“I didn't think I wanted to live this life but...I didnt know. I didn't mean it.” 

 

Ellen looked down to her lap where her tears had dropped.




“She was happy, Laura...most of the time. Most days she was laughing, and smiling, and doing the things she loved. Most days we were a happy family. Though she carried sadness and confusion inside her, though she had her issues, I stilI believe that and it's so important to me that you understand it and believe it too.”

 

“I do, Elle. I promise.”

 

“I kept the bottle and the blade because...I had to remind myself. I had to make sure that I remembered what that day felt like as much as I had to remember the good times. I had to make sure that I never let it happen again so there would be more good in her life to come. I put those horrible things in with all of those sweet memories because I needed to remind myself of all I could lose if I didn't pay close enough attention.”

 

“Ellen, you saved her over and over.“

“But I couldn't save her after all that. Years of battling everything on the inside and then she’s taken from me anyway.” 

 

Laura wondered if Katya still had those thoughts during the time she knew her. She wondered if she fought them daily or if they just lingered in the recesses of her mind. She wondered if she would have been able to help her daughter if they ever came back- had she lived, or perhaps if it all would have disappeared with the twins in her life.

“I got to know her. I got to meet my child because you protected her all of those years.”she insisted. 

Ellen closed her eyes against the stinging.
“I can’t help but constantly wonder if things could have been different. I know...I know what Sam thinks even though he…”
Frak what Sam says,” Laura snapped before Ellen could finish the thought. “I don’t care what Sam thinks,” she added, causing Ellen to wince.

 

 In the years following Katya’s death, though the general consensus had been not to talk about it, Laura and Ellen had in some way picked up on the unspoken feelings that their husbands shared with Anders. They tried their best to ignore it, refusing to even discuss it with each other, and though Sam had made a few attempts to vaguely explain his beliefs to Ellen, Saul and Bill never spoke to their wives about it. They knew that they didn’t want to hear it. 


Realizing how harshly she’d come off Laura gave Ellen a look of apology. 


“That...that just doesn't matter.”
Ellen looked down and nodded.


Laura squeezed her hand and for a minute they sat quietly, the silence only cut by their occasional residual sniffling. 

 

“MOMMY!”

A little voice burst through the quiet from somewhere in the house.

Their eyes both went to the door, focused on the far off sound.

“Was that Sasha?” Ellen asked.

“MOMMY!?”
The voice was too close.
“Li,” Laura corrected.

“MOMMY!” a second voice called from further away.

“Both,” they said in tandem.


“MAMA!” The two voices continued interchangeably. “MOMMY!”

Laura let out a long sigh.
“It’s time to get up,” she said, wiping at her eyes.
She reached to where the box sat on the floor beside her. Opening the lid she lifted it, offering it to Ellen. 


Ellen gripped the medicine bottle. Licking her lips she went to deposit it into the box. For a moment she hesitated. Perhaps it was time to throw it away. Perhaps it didn’t belong there with the rest of her beloved mementos anymore.

MOMMY!” she heard Liam call again.

Flinching she dropped the bottle inside the box.
Laura snapped the lid closed before they could hear the contents rattle within it.

“C’mon, Elle,” she said, extending her hand once again. “We still have a blanket to find.”







Chapter 42: Ask of Me: A ficlet

Summary:

This ficlet was written after a request from an AS reader asking for another Laura and Ellen focused addition. It was a concept I scrapped more than a few times but decided to finish and post recently since I had the time and I know many are searching for new content within the fandom. It has a companion piece entitled "Promise to Promise". They may each be read on their own or in either order. For nanokouw.

To anyone who remembers Alpha Station from years ago and decided to read this follow up, thank you so much for returning. To any new readers, thank you for helping me to keep this story alive.

Feedback and/or reviews are encouraged and welcome!

Chapter Text

Ellen stood in the hall listening to the sounds of the running kitchen faucet and plates clinking along as Laura set them on the rack to dry. 

She counted them as they clattered together. She’d cleared exactly twentytwo after the party was over and she knew that Laura had to be nearly done. 

 

Ellen wavered between wishing that Laura would hurry up and finish and wishing that she’d keep washing until the little cherry blossom patterns wore off all of the dishes. 

Much like the dishwashing, the three hour celebration they’d held had seemed to somehow simultaneously drag through the afternoon and zoom by far too fast.

With one goal on her mind Ellen was bouncing back and forth between excitement and dread. 

Peering out of the hallway she glanced over toward the living room, searching for any cups or champagne glasses that she might have missed while picking up. She didn't want a single distraction left. Not a forgotten cake fork nor a scrap of ribbon from a gift fallen to the floor. 

 

While Laura put the food away, cleaned the kitchen and washed the plates and cutlery Ellen had set the cabin vacuum to run twice over, wiped down every surface and fixed every cushion on every chair. It all needed to be finished so that no means of avoidance were left to be found. Laura's tendency to evade highly emotional discussion had improved over the years, but Ellen didn't want to take any chances. 

 

As the water turned off the sudden quiet made Ellen’s skin flush. For a moment she mused that she might have feared losing her nerve had she not possessed so damn much of it. To be considering the conversation she had in mind took a certain level of audacity that she thankfully had always possessed. There was no doubt that she was anxious, that she could admit. She’d never asked so much of someone in all of her lives. Certainly not from someone who had already given her the world. To be asking for more? Her gall knew no bounds. She’d always thought of her tenacity as brave and bold while others called her pushy and forward, but she didn't exactly feel very brave at the moment. She was counting on the champagne buzz she still had going from the party to make up for it.

Ellen knew that she needed to hurry. Saul and Bill would be back down from Delta Station with the kids before dinnertime. Whatever the outcome, she wanted it to be done before they arrived. No matter what happened she knew that she was about to change the household dynamic for good. Better the others walk into it once it was already through.

 

Elle?” Laura called as she put a final container into the cooler. 

Ellen jumped at the sound of her name, cursing herself for being so on edge when she needed to be as stolid and convincing as she could.

 

“Yes?” she replied, finally forcing herself to step into view. 

 

“Did you check outside on the deck and picnic table for any more dishes?”

 

“Yup. It’s all clear. All the decorations are down, the liquor cabinet is locked and the floors are clean. I moved the bigger gifts that Tawny couldn't fit in her shuttle into the mudroom. Sam is going to come by one day next week and load them up to take home.”

 

“Great. Well, everything is done in here,” Laura announced, with her hands on her hips. “Oh, I saved some cake for the kids.”

 

Ellen smirked.

“I don’t think that’s going to be enough to convince Sasha to forgive us,” she said with a knowing roll of her eyes as she moved into the kitchen.

 

“You’re right,” Laura sighed, tossing a dish rag to the counter. “She only begged us to come to the party for about a week straight. Honestly, I do feel bad about it, but she would have been the only kid here all day long and Liam wouldn't have understood why he wasn't allowed too. I’m sure they had a far better time at the children’s museum.”

 

Ellen nodded as she leaned against the back of a kitchen chair. 

 

“They made Tawny and the baby a few little cards and pictures this morning. They asked me to give them to her during the party but I kept them. I figure sometime over the next few weeks we’ll have Tawny and Sam over for dinner. We’ll have a little celebration, just family. The kids can give her what they made in person then.”

As Ellen spoke it was as if she were listening to someone else droning on. She could hear the words coming out of her own mouth, but they were so far from what her mind was actually focused on. It was as if she were on autopilot. 

“That’s a good idea,” Laura agreed, “but until then, all I have are two big pieces of cake with half smudged frosting pacifiers on top.”

 

“It’s a start,” Ellen shrugged with a smile that felt as forced as she knew it probably appeared.

 

“Are you alright?” Laura asked with a tilt of her head. 

 

Despite Laura’s weak ability to read her Ellen was actively blocking her out. They knew each other well enough that they no longer needed the cylon attribute to sense what the other was feeling. Even so, Ellen didn’t want anything to give Laura a reason to run. 

 

“Yeah. I’m fine. Just tired,” she lied, pulling the chair out from the table and taking a seat. “The party was a lot of work. I think it made Tawny really happy though.”

 

“I think so too,” Laura concurred with a sort of wistful smile. “I’m so glad that we could do this for her.”

 

“Are you alright?” Ellen posed, suddenly feeling rather guilty that she hadn't asked as soon as the last of their guests departed. 

 

She’d known all along that the celebration would be difficult for Laura for more than a few reasons and yet she’d been so preoccupied.  

 

“I’m...fine,” Laura answered decidedly as she folded her arms in front of herself. “I’m a lot better than I thought I would be. When Tawny was leaving...that was hard. I’ll be honest, when I hugged her goodbye I didn't want to let her go. She was in such a good mood and laughing and...I just kept thinking of...well, you know,” Laura paused and bit at her lower lip staving off the welling of her eyes. “But thankfully she sent me a message as soon as she got home. She’s safe at the apartment, already resting with her feet up. In spite of all of the memories that today triggered, hearing that she was okay made me feel a lot better.”


Ellen nodded, relieved that Laura’s answer seemed honest.

“She was missing Kat and Margot so much today,” she thought aloud with a sigh, dolefully leaning her elbows onto the kitchen table.

 

Her words caused Laura’s expression to darken, her lily pond eyes quickly turning into two swelling somber seas. 

 

“I know,” she softly added.

 

“So was I,” Ellen followed, fighting off the prickling threat of tears.

She couldn't cry. At least not yet. 

 

“Me too,” Laura followed, crestfallen from the initial cheer of the celebration. 

 

They’d done what they could to keep Tawny’s baby shower fun and lighthearted, but as was the case with all milestones and celebrations, an emptiness existed that couldn't help but be felt on one level or another.

 

“It was good though,” Ellen added, attempting to brighten the mood. “I’ve thrown a lot of parties in my time but never a baby shower. It was fun. I think it was a success.”

 

“It was,” Laura was glad to agree.

 

Ellen was struggling for a transition. 

“I just wish that...that we could do more for her,” she attempted, without a full plan in place.

 

Laura shrugged and pulled a chair out from the table.

 

“Tawny knows that we’re here if she needs us,” she reasoned as she took a seat, relieved to finally be off of her feet after a long day of entertaining. 

“I know. I know that,” Ellen pandered. “It's just that she probably has so many questions and concerns these days that even being a doctor can't answer. The poor girl hasn't ever really had a mother she could talk to, and with this...I can give her all the support in the world, but I can't relate to what she’s going through. I’m sure she wishes that she had someone close to her who knew what it was like to be in her shoes. I’m sure it makes her miss her mom and Kat all the more.”

Ellen could feel her knees beginning to tremble under the table as she forced the conversation along. 

 

“I’m sure you’re right,” Laura agreed. “But I also know that she appreciates having us to come to for what she can. Sometimes all she wants is a hand to hold. And once the baby comes we’ll be able to offer her all of the help and advice that she’s willing to take”

Tawny had grown quite close to both women over the years following their shared loss. She adored the twins and though she felt a responsibility to watch over them as she’d promised Katya, she’d also found a sense of belonging within the joined family unit. With Sam already close to the Tighs it became a natural fit, especially once the couple moved to the surface permanently. They often spent time at the cabin helping with the children and enjoying family picnics by the lake. All together they helped one another to keep Katya’s memory close. 

“Sure,” Ellen conceded, unsure of how to go on. 

 

“Ellen, are you positive that you’re okay?” Laura asked, giving her a quizzical glance. She seemed so distracted and distant. “Maybe you should go rest until the kids get home. You’ve been on the go since early this morning.”

 

Ellen shook her head dismissing Laura’s suggestion. She’d been planning for this moment longer than Sasha had been begging to come to the party. 

“I’m a machine,” she mused with a casual shrug.

 

“A machine that could use a nap,” Laura teased. “I know I sure could use one.”

 

“I’m fine,” Ellen insisted. That was it. Before Laura attempted to go rest herself she had to go for it. Ellen had never had a problem being direct before. Such a feeling of apprehension was so immensely foreign to her. It had her second guessing if she should in fact go through with it or wait another day. Of all of her past wild ideas and notions that she’d shamelessly blurted out without a second thought, this one was making her stumble on her words and causing her confidence to wane. She couldn't wait though. It was the optimal time, fresh after the party while Laura’s sense of compassion and generosity was still heightened. “I don’t want to nap, Laura,” she forced herself to say. “I actually- I need to talk to you about something. It’s important.”

 

“Important?”
“Very.”

Laura studied Ellen for a moment wondering what in the world could be pertinent enough to warrant such preamble. They never announced that they needed to speak to one another. They just spoke, and about everything under the sun whether it be their kids, their past, or their sex lives. There was only one thing that Laura could guess might be the cause of Ellen’s obvious unease.

“Ellen, if this is about me taking that position at the town primary school this fall, I promise it would only be part time.”

As they’d mingled with their guests Laura had found herself conversing with a friend of Tawny’s who had helped to start the nearby town’s first communal school. Having learned from Tawny what an asset Laura could be to the new learning facility the woman had offered her a possible position in aiding the school’s further development. Ellen had walked up mid-conversation, surprised to find Laura considering the job.

“I didn't mean to spring that on you during the party, Elle. Tawny had told me that she’d spoken to her friend about my previous experience, but I didn't expect the woman to offer me a job today. I know I probably seemed a little over eager,” Laura rambled on. She’d been concerned about Ellen’s reaction to the idea. Recent discussion over the children enrolling in the new school had caused some disagreement. Ellen wanted the twins home where Laura could continue to teach them as she always had. She’d been outnumbered three to one when even Saul agreed that they should be with other children their own age. Laura suspected that Ellen was still uncomfortable with the coming changes. “I just figure- with Sasha and Liam starting their first year of classroom learning this fall it would actually give us all some peace of mind if one of us could be so close by. We could work it out to where I’d only go in on days that you weren't working with Sam. That way at least one of us is always in town on school days just in case they need us and one of us is always back here in case they have a sick day home.”

Ellen shook her head. 

“No. No, no, Laura. Not that. It’s okay. I mean, we’ll figure all of that out when the time comes. If you want to take that job I think you should, but that's not it. Not at all.”

 

“Oh. Okay,” Laura frowned, confused as to what Ellen could possibly have on her mind. “Well, what’s up?”

 

“Well…” Ellen attempted.

Laura’s brow rose when nothing followed.

“Well, what? C’mon, Elle,” she encouraged, nudging the other woman’s foot under the table as if tapping a skipping record back into place.

 

“Sorry,” Ellen huffed. She squeezed her eyes shut and pinched at the bridge of her nose with her thumb and index finger. “This is even harder than I thought it would be.”

 

Laura’s forehead creased in concern. What the hell could be wrong? Their lives were so intertwined that they hardly had the time, space or desire for secrets. She couldn't fathom what Ellen would have to tell her that she didn't already know. It was beyond odd.

 

“Ellen, you’re starting to frakking scare me. Really.”

 

“I’m not trying to.”

 

“Are you and Saul both okay?” 

 

Yes . Yes! Everyone is fine. It's not like that.”

 

“Well then what’s it like?”

 

Gods . I need to ask you a favor,” Ellen finally blurted.

 

“A favor?”

 

“A huge favor. One I have no damn right to ask of you.”

 

“I don’t understand.”

 

“I know. I know. This is just hard.”

 

Laura grimaced in confusion and frustration. Whatever it was it had to be serious.

“Ellen, do you… Do you want us to move out or something” she speculated.

 

Ellen’s nervous expression turned immediately horrified.

“What?! Gods no!” she shouted, suddenly appearing quite hurt by the very idea. “How could you think that!?” 

 

“I don’t know! You’re acting so strange!” Laura defended. “What could be so hard to ask me ? Unless you tell me what it is all that I can do is come up with frakked up guesses!”

 

Ellen gawked back at Laura, still distracted by the awful thought. 

“Why would you even consider that I’d ever ask you three to move ?”

 

Laura rolled her eyes in exasperation.

Forget it.

 

“This is your home . It’s our home. You can’t leave . You can’t just take Sasha and go.”

 

“We’re not!”

“The twins can’t live apart,” Ellen continued to ramble. “I could never dream of separating them!”

 

“Ellen, for frak sake! Focus! Get back on topic! What’s the frakkin favor!?”

 

“My gods,” Ellen whined, covering her face with her palms. “Laura, you’ve given me so much. More than you’ll ever know. And I’m eternally grateful for all of it. Because of you I had the family that I always wanted and then- the family I never knew I wanted...but there’s just some things...these deep and powerful longing feelings that have never gone away. After Liam I thought that they would. I mean how much more could I want?”

 

“Ellen, what in the hell are you talking about?”

Ellen clenched her sweat dampened palms into the tightests fists she could manage and took a deep breath. 

“Laura, I’ve decided...after all these years, I- I really want to try to have a baby. I want to try one more time to have Saul’s child, to know what it would feel like to give a baby the gift of life, to feel them grow and move. I could never love a child more than I love Liam-Daniel. Gods, I love him more than anything. And Kat, she showed me that I didn't have to make her for her to belong to me. I know that. I do. I just also know that this is something that I have always wanted to experience and seeing Tawny so happy and glowing, it just brought it all back. I realized that the desire had never really gone away. I started thinking about how much more advanced the reproductive science is here than it ever was on the Colonies or even back on my Earth and I thought, maybe this time in spite of my apparent physical age and issues, maybe the specialists in Orbit might actually be able to help me.”

 

Laura was unable to hide her complete shock.

“Ellen, I don’t know what to say.”

 

“Don’t say anything yet. I haven't told you what the favor is.”

 

“What do you mean?”

Ellen licked at her lips, wishing she had the foresight to grab a glass of water.

“Laura, I want to have a baby. I want it so godsdamn much, but...I need your eggs to do it.”

There was a momentary pause that seemed to last forever until Laura spoke.

“My eggs ?” She echoed.

“Yes. Your ova.”

Mine?

“Yes.”

“What the frak?”

“Gods, Laura. Please don’t just say no without-“

“Ellen, Ellen, let's just back the frak up for just a second,” Laura interrupted with a halting palm. “I’m really trying to process all of this.”

 

Ellen frantically nodded in understanding.

“I know. I’m sorry. It’s a lot. I know it is.”

 

“Before I even delve into what you’re saying you want to do, why in the world would you think to come to me of all people for viable eggs?”

 

“I would need donor eggs for the embryo. I can’t conceive naturally. They may be able to help me find a way to actually get pregnant and carry a baby, but I already know that I don’t have what I need to start.”

 

Laura stared back at her, mouth agape before finally gathering her thoughts enough to respond. 

 

“Listen, Ellen, I’m not saying that I agree with what it is you’re telling me you’re planning on doing, but there have to be plenty of donors out there to choose from.”

 

“There are. I could go to an Orbit fertility specialist, put in a request for donated ova and have an entire catalogue to choose from, but I don’t want some stranger's baby, Laura. Not if I can come to you.” 

 

“Ellen, firstly- even if I were willing to momentarily entertain the insane thought of this, you know that my cycle never came back after I stopped nursing Sasha. That was over three years ago. Even if I have any eggs left what makes you think that they would be healthy or viable at this point?”

 

“No. No, I wouldn't ask you to go through an extraction. Not again for frak sake and of course you’re right. I’m sure whatever ova you have left most likely wouldn't be very good candidates, but the ones preserved in the lab on Alpha should be in perfect condition.”

 

Laura squinted, unsure of what she was hearing.

“The lab?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Ellen, there are no eggs of mine in the lab on Alpha. They were destroyed.”

 

Ellen shook her head.

“No they weren't. I checked. I called Sydra days ago to make sure.”

 

“They were.You told me that they were destroyed,” Laura insisted, her eyes growing wider as her voice grew louder.

 

“No. I didn't.”

 

“Oh yes you did. I think I would remember such a thing! You explained to me how a few years after Kat and the others were born and deemed failures as our replacements the leftover eggs they’d taken from me were destroyed. You told me yourself!”


Ellen began to internally panic. Out of all of the possible ways she’d imagined her request might be received she’d never dreamed that Laura would turn out to be virtually unaware of the very thing she was asking for.

 

“Laura, I never said that they destroyed the leftover eggs they extracted.”

 

Laura’s temper rose, hating the way such intimate parts of herself were being spoken about like a bad breakfast tossed in the trash. 

You sure as frak did, Ellen! Five frakkin years ago! We were in the lab. You took me there that day to explain Kat’s entire conception, gestation and her birth. I remember every moment of that day!”

 

“Laura, I told you that the other embryos were destroyed. The fertilized ova. They had successfully made half a dozen embryos from your eggs and Bill’s sperm. They only implanted one, planning that if it failed they would have back ups. The rest were preserved, but they didn't need them. You got pregnant with Kat on their first try. Had they used all of the embryos they would have had the leftover unfertilized ova to go back to and start over. After the four kids were born and the project offshoot was exposed that's when the leftover embryos were destroyed. They were considered a creation of the project and eliminated. The leftover unfertilized ova were kept preserved. They were considered bio specimens in the same manner any blood or plasma the doctors had drawn from you would be. They were kept cryogenically preserved for your eventual resurrection for you to decide to keep, donate or discard. I have to admit when I checked with Sydra I was surprised that you hadn't asked the lab to eliminate them years ago.”

 

“That's because I didn't know they were there! You never told me!”

 

“Laura, I told you the embryos were gone. I never said that the rest of the eggs were too! I gave you access to your medical records and all of your files that very day you’re referencing.” 

 

What a day that had been. It had ended in an awful fight resulting in Katya shouting and threatening Laura in Ellen’s defence. It was something Ellen still regretted her part in. There was so much regret. So much guilt leftover between Ellen and Laura for so many things. They’d long forgiven each other but they would never forgive themselves. 

 

“You should have seen the ova listed in your records under personal biological specimens ,” Ellen continued to explain. “After that day you had complete control over what happened to them. The notes in your records explained all of this.”

 

“I don't frakkin’ believe this!”

Laura forcefully pushed her chair back from the table. It squeaked harshly across the hardwood floor, the sound echoing the choler in the air. Laura stood up in exasperation before shoving the chair back into place with a bang causing Ellen to flinch. 

“Laura, stop. Please , don’t be angry,” she appealed as she watched her begin to pace beside the table, her hands crossly at her hips. Ellen certainly hadn't expected the discussion to be an easy one, but she couldn't believe how awful it was going. “I didnt ever mean to mislead you. Okay? So-so they’ve been sitting there in the chryo freezer for years. You can’t do anything about that now.”

 

Laura stopped in her manic tracks beside the table.

 

“Ellen, you knew how I felt about everything they did to me,” she said pointing an accusatory finger in her direction. “I didn't want anymore to do with their manipulations as far as that aspect of my life was concerned. I even risked getting rid of that frakking implant early because I couldn't stand knowing that it was inside of me. Why would you think that I would willingly allow the ova that was stolen from me to be kept in the possession of the godsdamn laboratory where they were taken!?”

 

“I just told you, I was shocked to hear that they were still there. I thought I was wasting my time when I called Sydra to ask, but she was able to confirm it right away. Today at the party she told me there were no notes indicating that they had even been looked up on file for years.”

 

“And why the hell is Sydra speaking to you about something that’s supposedly mine!?”

“I still have my Alpha lab credentials. She had to,” Ellen confessed, knowing she’d abused her position. “She still doesn't know why I asked. Please don’t be angry at her.” 

 

“That’s just great, ” Laura caustically huffed.



“Believe me, I thought of everything you’re telling me right now, but then...I don’t know I just thought maybe with everything we’ve gone through over the past five years that maybe you never really had time to make a decision and inform the lab. Or-or maybe you just felt strange throwing them away. I thought maybe it was easier to just keep them there than to make a choice. And then I started thinking that maybe...maybe it was meant to be. Maybe they were still there for a reason for a purpose.”

 

“Oh for you ?” Laura acerbically posed, her eyes narrowed and accusatory.

 

“Laura, I know that this is a lot. I’m sorry. I thought you knew that they were still there, but please don't let that influence what I’m asking you.”

 

“Ellen, I can’t even wrap my head around what you’re frakking asking me!”

 

Damn it. This isn't how this was supposed to frakking go.”

 

How did you think it was going to go, Ellen? I mean, really!” 

 

“To start with, I didn't think that this part was going to be the shock of it all. I promise that I get the gravity of what I’m asking of you. The last thing I wanted was to blindside and upset you with new information. I just honestly don’t understand how you missed that part of your medical records.”



Laura wouldn't admit it but she’d avoided looking too deeply into her records at all, especially back then. It had taken all of her will and strength just to watch Katya’s birth after gaining access to them. Reading all of the recorded details and notes had been too much to even consider. 

 

“This is insane.”

 

“This is my life , Laura.”

 

“It’s my life too!”

 

“And I’m asking you to help me. Like you always do. Like we always help each other. Please put your anger aside and just consider-“

 

Consider what? Giving you another child of mine to raise? This time while I watch?”

 

“You don’t watch me raise Liam, you help me,” Ellen countered. “We help each other. We do it together . This wouldn't be any different except…”

 

“Oh, it’s a lot different, Ellen. A lot!  You’re asking me to let you carry my baby .”

 

Ellen paused for a moment and cast her eyes down to look at the table top where her hands were folded tightly before her in a failing attempt at keeping them from trembling. She couldn't stomach the look of outrage on Laura’s face. She felt the hope she’d been presumptuous enough to have starting to dissolve. 

 

“In a way…” she began, her voice far more cautious and yielding. “...you’ve carried mine.”

 

Ellen chanced a look up at Laura who had once again stopped her pacing in the face of the audacious insinuation and stood facing her, jaw dropped in mute astonishment. 

 

“I always envied the natural connection you had with Kat. You gave her life, and I was always fascinated by that and so , so frakking jealous. I thought of her as my daughter, yet...someone else had brought her into this world,” she continued, attempting to bear her soul in hopes that it might somehow inspire a change of heart. “But now, now maybe I could know what it’s like to have that kind of bond with a child. To give everything I have to grow and protect them.”

Laura reached for the back of a kitchen chair and gripped it out of sheer frustration. 

Ellen was beginning to look dejected, but Laura was still too shocked over the entire proposal to voice any measure of compassion or understanding. 

 

“But you want it to be mine , Ellen. And you want Saul to be the father!? This is crazy . As if this family isn't strange enough. How the hell do you think Bill would react to Saul and I being the biological parents of a child in this home?”

Ellen suddenly glanced upward with an obvious glint of hope in her eyes. Finally a question she’d expected and felt well rehearsed for. 

 

“I think that if he could accept the gift that you were giving to me he would grow to love that child very much. In fact I think that child would be very special to him. Bill loves you and Saul so much. There are no two people living or dead who he’s trusted more or had deeper connections with. A child biologically part you and part Saul, well I think Bill would consider that child a blessing. I know I would because I feel the very same way. You two are the closest people I have in my life. If I can't carry my own biological baby then, well, I want to carry yours.”

 

Laura couldn't begin to form a response to Ellen’s answer. As bonded as the two women had become over the years Laura’s admiration and appreciation of Ellen was mostly shown through their interactions instead of spoken through words. In all of her time Laura had yet to master voicing her affections. Ellen always felt comfortable expressing her feelings. Though they were reciprocated, Laura just couldn't help her natural inclination to avoid articulating them. She often spoke through Sasha, using the little girl as some kind of emotional crutch. 

‘Tell Auntie love you!’ she’d prompt the child to say. ‘Tell Auntie we’ll miss her while she’s away.’ she’d instruct. ‘Say be safe on your ride into town, Aunt Elle.’ 

 

Despite the degree of separation Laura always felt as if Ellen understood how genuine her feelings were. Their means of conveying it were different, but the emotions were always true. Laura never questioned it and yet hearing Ellen speak about her in the context of her current reasoning just hit her like a ton of bricks. 

 

  “Why me?” 

 

“Because,” Ellen shrugged, attempting a tentative smile that didn't last, “I know you. I love you. And because I already know what beautiful babies you make.”

 

Despite the adoring sentiment and the supplicant look on Ellen’s face Laura just couldn't help the utter aggravation that she felt. 

“Ellen, I am not some kind of free frakkin’ resource for you to use ,” she spat, unable to hold back.

 

Her near acid tone made Ellen cringe.

“But…that’s the thing, Laura,” she forced herself to carry on, “In a way you already have been,” she countered, causing Laura’s eyes to momentarily flare.

“I don’t mean that how it sounds,” Ellen quickly defended, holding out a cautioning hand. “I just mean that, well, Katya came from you and I loved her so frakking much. Everything about her, good and bad. And Liam and Sasha- Laura, they came from you too if you really think about it,” Ellen began to expound, going into the intricate and obsessive level of thought she’d put toward it all. “You made Kat. When you carried her she already possessed the ova that would become Sasha and Li. So part of them came from you too. Part of the twins has been with you since before Kat was even born. Don’t you find that so amazing?” 

She offered Laura another hesitant smile hoping the other women would see the beauty in the science and nature of it as she did, but the appreciation wasn't returned. 

“My love for all three of them has been the most powerful and wonderful thing that I’ve ever felt. You were the source of those miracles. If by some medical wonder I can add another child to this family, why wouldn't I want it to be yours if the option is there?”

 

Laura bit down on her tongue to stop herself from responding without proper thought. 

She’d been reacting and ranting on pure impulse. She was angry and she was upset, but she was also staring at a very desperate woman who despite her dejected appearance had a thoughtful answer for every question and accusation being thrown at her. 

Laura swallowed against a dry throat. She was scolding Ellen for wanting something that she couldn't have. She didn’t have to give in. She just had to talk to her. They’d come too far to start disregarding one another’s feelings and desires. She needed to stop shouting and fuming and start figuring out why Ellen would be suddenly considering such an idea. 

 

With new composure and far more restraint than she’d stood up, Laura pulled her chair back out from the table and sat back down. She looked at Ellen sitting in place with her shoulders slumped and her eyes filled with fresh unshed tears. She sighed at the sight of her. 

 

“We have a happy family, Ellen,” Laura began to reason in a more measured and tempered voice. “Despite all of the awful pain that we each carry within us we’ve somehow managed to find a decent sense of joy and balance. We have a good life. Why would you risk disrupting that? And after all that we’ve been through?”

 

“I see it as making more joy and happiness,” Ellen answered. 

 

Laura shook her head at a loss. 

“Ellen, I can’t do this for you. And now you’re going to resent me for it. You’ve already disrupted things by putting me in this position. I don’t want you to hate me over something I-”

 

No . No, Laura,” Ellen cut in. “Look, I want this. I do. I want it so frakking badly, but as much as I want to convince you to help me, I swear- I swear on everything that I won’t hold it against you if you don’t. I even told Sam that I would never-“

 

“Sam?” Laura interrupted.

 

“Yes.”

 

“You spoke to Sam about this?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Why the hell would you do that?” Laura questioned.

Though they all considered Anders and Tawny to be part of the family Laura couldn't fathom why he would be told about something so very personal. Had it only involved Ellen she might not have found it so disturbing, but it sure as hell didn't. It angered her to realize that Sam must have known about her preserved eggs before she did. She felt exposed and put on display. Something she hadn’t felt so strongly since she’d found out that she was the last to know about Kat.

 

“He’s been my friend for ages,” Ellen began to justify. “He’s who I used to talk to about this with back on my Earth when I was trying to conceive then. He knew everything. He listened to me go on and on about every procedure I went through and all sorts of nitty gritty stuff about Saul and I trying, which I’m sure he didn't love hearing. He also comforted me when it all failed time and time again until...I gave up. And then he helped me get through that too. Being back in a lab with him in our element, it’s like old times. When we work we just fall back into our old ways of chatting. We can talk about everything.”

 

Laura’s eyes narrowed. 

“Does Saul know that you spoke to him about this?” 

Something definitely felt off. She didn't doubt Ellen’s desire, but something wasn't quite making sense. 

 

“Saul...Saul doesn't know about any of this, yet,” Ellen admitted, averting her eyes from Laura’s scrutinizing stare. 

 

“So not only did you discuss this idea with Sam before me , you discuss it with Sam before your husband ?”

 

“I didn't want to propose it to Saul until I knew if it was truly an option or not,” Ellen defended, daring to look back at Laura if only to check to see if the expression she wore was any more damning. 

 

Laura leaned back in her seat trying to assess the array of wild emotions displayed in Ellen’s eyes. As much as she seemed to be baring her soul there was a hint of deception to it all. Laura was sure of it. 

 

“If you two havent spoken about it then how do you know that Saul would even want this?” she continued to question.

Laura could hardly believe that Saul would be so accepting of such a contrived idea. He seemed so delighted with Liam and it was crazy to think that he felt the same void. Certainly not enough of one to be comfortable with the notion of conceiving a baby with his best friend’s wife. Laura and Saul had become much like a bickering yet loving brother and sister since moving to the surface. They spent a good amount of their time in their shared garden arguing over the ripeness of tomatoes and the spacing of fence posts and teasing one another about everything from her bossy nature to his bald head. Aside from his occasional rowdy comment to Bill about her gardening shorts, their relationship was quite familial. To imagine sharing biological parentage of a child together just seemed a tad unsettling. 

 

“Because I know him,” Ellen professed. “And I didn't want to get his hopes up before I asked you.”

 

“Ellen, if this is something that you and Saul want so badly and you think the doctors here can help then...go for it. I wish you well. I may not agree with it, but it's between the two of you.”

 Laura nearly had to force herself to say the words but it was only right. She understood that Ellen’s choice to pursue a pregnancy shouldnt invlove her input. In fact it shouldn't involve her at all. 

“You two make your decision and then if you decide that you truly want this then go ahead and find yourselves a donor, but please leave me out of it.”

 

Ellen felt her heart sink even further out of her chest and down into her gut.

 

I can't do that, Laura,” she cried . “It has to be you!”

 

“Why!?”

“It just does!”

“Ellen, you’re making a frakkin’ lousy case!”

 

“Laura, don't tell me that you don’t understand where I’m coming from, even just a little bit ,” Ellen pleaded in distress. “Don’t you wish that you could remember what it was like to carry Kat? Don’t you wish you could remember her birth? You must wish you could get that experience back.”

 

Of course! Of course I wish that I’d been in this frakking body when she was born . That doesn't mean that I have the urge to go out and have another frakking baby just to make up for it! Ellen, if you still have that urge after all these years and you still can’t live with it then figure it out, but I can’t help you make it happen,” Laura insisted. 

 

Ellen wiped at one teary eye and then the other. 

“Could you at least, sleep on it?” She requested in a pitiful appeal.

It couldn't be the end of the line. She couldn't let the discussion just stop there.

 

“No, Ellen,” Laura affirmed once again. “I will not have any part in getting your hopes up.”

 

“Just think about it. Once you’ve cooled down and the shock of everything wears off you may feel differently. Sam thought I was crazy at first too, but then the more we spoke about it the more excited he became.”

 

For some reason Sam’s name was triggering something deep within Laura’s gut. What in the hell did he have to do with any of this? Ellen’s confiding in him before either she or Saul had her more than irritated. She wasn't quite sure why, but his supposed encouragement felt almost suspicious.

Regardless of her grievances over Sam Laura needed Ellen to understand and accept her answer. 

 

“Ellen, I can’t watch another one of my children run to you when they want their mother,” she told her as plainly as she could. “I can't do it no matter how much I care for you.”

 

New tears rushed to Ellen’s eyes. She looked up at the blurred wood beams of the cabin ceiling in an attempt to stop them from falling, but it was no use and they spilled out and streamed down her flushed cheeks. 

“It would be different this time. I’d carry this baby. It would know me as its mother from birth. It wouldn't be like Kat. They wouldn't be so torn or confused. This child wouldn't have been waiting for you for years, wanting you as their mother. This is just DNA. It’s not so strange, you know. I’ve heard plenty of stories about women donating to their sisters or friends who can’t conceive. It happens. If I were sick and needed blood or a kidney and you could help me, I know that you would. Can’t you think of it that way?”

 

Laura took a deep breath and let it out in an earnest attempt at keeping her regained self-control. 

 

“Ellen, maybe I should be able to seperate myself from this. Maybe those women are better people than I am. Maybe I should be able to accept it and offer you something you obviously want so badly...But I can’t do it. Not after all that I’ve been through. I just can’t. I don’t want to and I’m not willing to. I don’t like that you’re hurt. I hate seeing you like this. I hate seeing you so miserable and knowing that this time I can’t be the one who helps you get you through it. Most of all I hate being the cause of your disappointment...but I just can’t offer you what you need this time.”

 

With her elbows on the table Ellen covered her face within the palms of her hands and cried. 

“Please, Laura?” she squeaked out in a desperate attempt. 

Laura watched Ellen sobbing; face hidden and shoulders hunched with a sense of shame that she’d never before witnessed from her. Just as Laura felt the urge to reach out to comfort the poor woman she felt an unexpected surge of frustration rushing through to overpower her sympathy. She felt badly that Ellen was so horribly upset, but she resented being made to feel so responsible. 

“Ellen, if you want another baby so badly then why does it matter who the donor is?” Laura enquired further. 

 

Ellen remained slumped in her seat.

“I already told you,” she muttered between hitches in her ragged breath.

 

“Bullshit.”

 

“What?”

Ellen peered up with her reddened puffy eyes to see Laura watching her with a keen look of distrust. She knew the look all too well but hadn't been the focus of in years.

 

“You heard me,” Laura called her bluff. “Bullshit. If you want to carry and deliver a baby and have that physical experience so badly then why in the living frak should you give that up because I said no? If it's in fact medically possible then go find a way to do it without me. Why is this whole thing resting at my feet?”

 

“It's the only way I’d feel right about...”

 

“Ellen, I know that you’re lying about something,” Laura finally accused. “And badly, I might add.”

 

Things were just not adding up. She could accept that Ellen might very well prefer a child genetically related to Liam. What Laura couldn’t believe was that it was the only course that Ellen was willing to take. When Ellen Tigh wanted something she usually found a way to get it. Everyone and everything else be damned. 

 

“I am not,” Ellen huffed in an exasperated rebuttal as she fell limply backward in her seat. 

As far as she was concerned she was telling the truth. Nothing she’d said so far was a lie. She meant every word. 

 

“You are,” Laura accused again, her eyes sharpened in Ellen’s direction. “I know it. I feel it,” She insisted as she walked closer and looked down at Ellen’s slumped posture. It just wasn't right. This wasn't how Ellen fought for what she wanted. It wasn't how she argued her opinions or how she asked for help. She did all of that with an almost blind confidence and determination, her head held high even in the face of any embarrassment or shame that would plague the average person. She had guts and an almost irrational sense of optimism to lead her through. So why did she seem so terribly abashed this time? 

Laura considered that it could have been the subject in general; the one thing that had painfully evaded Ellen through every lifetime. Eons of built up desperation had left her undoubtedly worn down and emotionally brittle when it came to the topic of her infertility. There was just one thing that stopped Laura from buying her own rationalization. 

 

 “I was there when you first held Liam,” Laura recounted the memory. “I saw how he completed you. I’d never witnessed anything like it before.”

 

Their children had saved them both from utter self destruction, but more than that they’d fit so perfectly into their lives. As awful as the circumstances were that lead to raising the twins as their own it had always felt so strangely right, as if they had been meant for them all along. Laura felt it with Sasha and she’d witnessed it between Liam and Ellen. 

 

“You were devastated, but you were handed enough love to fill that agonizing hole in your heart. I watched him start to heal you. I’ve watched you feed him and nurture him. He’s helped restore you body and soul. I see the way you and Saul look at him. I see the way you look at each other when you’re all together. He’s your son. He’s what you’ve always wanted. Katya gave him to you. I watch you and Saul with him every day. You’re a family and you’ve been as content as any of us could have hoped to be. I understand being mournful of a missed experience. Believe me. I may have not lived with such a strong urge to become a mother, but once I found out about Kat I grieved the missing memories of everything from her conception to her birth and beyond. I understand that feeling of wanting to know what it’s like, but I just don’t believe that it’s all that’s motivating this.”



Ellen’s throat clenched painfully shut. Laura knew her too well. She should have known better than to think that she’d be able to evade her. Their lives and minds had become far too interlaced. 

 

“Liam is everything to me…” she rasped, forcing her overtightened larynx to speak through the pain. “...but so was Kat and so was Daniel. I can love another child, and Laura, I know that you could too if you...”

 

Ellen stopped herself from finishing when the look in Laura’s eyes quickly intensified. The attempt at persuasion had misfired, only triggering suspicions further. 

 

With an incredulous arch to her brow and her arms crossed Laura looked Ellen up and down. 

 

“Elle, when you first told Sam about this plan did he know where you were planning on getting the donor eggs from?”

 

Avoiding Laura’s scruitizing stare, Ellen's gaze fell to her lap.

 

“No. Not at first.”

 

“You said he thought it was a crazy idea at first.”

 

“Yes. I mean he didn't exactly try to talk me out of it, but he was shocked. He said Tawny’s pregnancy was making me jealous and stirring up all these old feelings. Of course he was obviously right about that part at first, but then he realized that I wasn't just spouting nonsense or dreaming of hypotheticals. He realized I was serious. I don’t know if I would have had the courage to decide without him, but he really began to support me. He thought it through. He made me feel like I wasn't just a desperate fool grasping at a long lost fantasy.”

 

“And when you told him that you planned to try to use my eggs, is that when he changed his mind?” Laura speculated.

 

“He changed his mind because he thought about it and he just wants me to be happy. He knows how much any child born into this family would be loved. Why not support that?”

 

“What else have you two been talking about lately while you’re working in the cylon lab?”

 

Ellen shrugged.

“Anything. Everything. Work, life, you name it.”

 

“Everything? Tell me, Elle, does that include Sam’s frakking theory?”

 

“What theory?”

 

Don’t play stupid, Ellen!”

 

“He says a lot of things. It's Sam.”

 

“You know what I'm referring to. Everything he believes about Kat.”

 

Ellen gulped hard and tried not to avert her focus from Laura’s. 

 

“It’s come up.”

 

“Recently?” Laura pressed. 

 

Ellen’s pupils had grown as wide as a caught doe’s

“I dont know.”

 

If Laura hadn't already seen enough presage to be sure Ellen’s expression would have given it away. 

Laura’s teeth and palms clenched in unison. Finally it all made sense. 

 

She’s not coming back, Ellen!”

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

 

“Oh yes you do!” Laura countered, as she shot up from her seat once again . “I can see it all over your face!”

 

“See what? You’re yelling at me! How else should I look!?”

 

“She’s not coming back! Do you hear me? Even if you actually bought into what Sam believes, there is no one here to save! There’s no reason to come here! No one here is in trouble this time! She’s at peace!” 

 

You don’t know for sure how any of it works!” Ellen broke with a slap of her open fist to the tabletop. 

 

Neither do you! Neither does Sam, despite what he might think! Gods, Ellen! Did he really frakking convince you that you could get her back!?”

 

“I never said that.”

 

“You don’t have to.”

 

“Laura you’re-”

 

“I’m what? Seeing right through you? How dare he even suggest such a thing to you! And how dare he convince you to use me to do it!”

 

“Sam cared about her deeply. He cares about us , about our family.” 

 

He better not have mentioned this to Tawny! If I found out he got that poor girl’s hopes up in the state she’s in so help me!”

“He hasn't! I promise! He wouldn't do that to her. Especially right now.”

 

“Dammit, Ellen! I thought you and I were on the same page when it came to this!”

 

How!? How, Laura!? You never even let anyone talk about it! I avoided it for so long because you hated the frakking thought of it and I thought that meant that I should too, but Laura, we can’t just deny it forever. Bill believes. Bill believes and you won’t even let him mention it in front of you!”


“I’ve heard all I care to hear about it.”

“You can’t just keep ignoring it.”

 

“Yes I can! Because it didn't make one frakking iota of a difference for me while she was alive!   What good will it do me now!? All I know is that Katya was my daughter. That was my child who had her own identity! She lived her life and now it's over ! No matter how painful that may be.”

 

Ellen squeezed her eyes shut as tightly as she could.

“What harm is there in trying?” she posed.

 

“Ellen, how would you even know ?” Laura challenged. “You didn't know last time. I mean was there ever even an inkling?”

 

For a while after Katya died the shared notion had been purposefully kept from Laura and Ellen. With their fragile state, deep grief and two infants to care for both Saul and Bill decided that it was best not to expose them to anything that could compromise or upset them further. They’d made Anders swear that he would keep it to himself too, at least until things became more stable. Over the years as time went on and tensions diminished comments began to be made here and there. Sometimes between Saul and Bill, sometimes among Anders and Tawny. For a time Laura and Ellen had willfully ignored it, knowing that there had been something that the other’s had known about their daughter that they didn't, yet choosing to avoid asking what exactly it was. As the years passed they had each gathered enough to understand what the general theory was, but while Ellen had always generally shrugged it off Laura often became angered by any hint of it in conversation. They’d all learned to keep it to themselves or at least away from Ellen and Laura. 

 

“No,” Ellen conceded. ”She was just Kat to me.”

 

“Exactly. So how would you know this time?”

Ellen rubbed at the growing pain at her brow, attempting to knead away the ache.

 

“I didn't have much of a relationship with Kara. She didn't mean much to me. Maybe Bill and Sam and Saul could sense it because of their past. Don’t you think that if your child was with you again in some way you would just know? Don’t you think you would just feel her?”

 

“But it wouldn't be her!” Laura continued to argue to Ellen’s dismay, infuriated but still maintaining her maddening practicality. “Not in the way you’re thinking. The same way that Katya was not Kara Thrace! The things you loved about Kat; her habits and mannerisms, they wouldn't be there! This child would grow up to be their very own person. Maybe some sense of her would exist if what they believe is true and if what you’re hoping for actually happens. You’re right- I won't pretend to know how it works, but Ellen, you would still miss Kat. You would still miss and mourn a life that's gone!”

Ellen’s jaw trembled as she tried to speak.

“I’d give almost anything to be with even a tiny part of her,” she cried through chattering teeth.

 

Laura’s anger was strong but it was no match for the reluctant empathy she felt for the woman before her. In spite of her outrage she couldn't help but understand the misery and desperation that had led Ellen to her current state.

 

“Then be with Liam,” she said as she returned to her seat, beckoning for Ellen’s downcast eyes to look up at her. “Be with Sasha. Enjoy the parts of Kat that we have left and let her rest in peace knowing that they have you and that one day you’ll be with her again.”

 

“That’s just it, Laura,” Ellen sobbed. “To go to her one day I’ll have to leave Liam…and that beautiful healthy boy is going to live a long, long life if I have anything to say about it. I’m lucky enough that I’ll probably be able to witness it. I'm glad of that. I am. Sometimes this never ending life used to feel like a curse, but now, now I never want to leave him. Never. Not unless I have no other choice. If he lives the full long life I pray he does...Laura that's a long time. Telling myself that I’ll be with Kat one day and knowing how very far off that day may be...It’s like an anchor tied to my soul. If I could just know that she was with me then my heart wouldn't be split between two frakking planes of existence.”

 

Laura winced at the description. She’d never quite put it into those words, but Ellen was right. It was exactly what it felt like to be living a life with one child while another was gone. 

She’d never been in the position of having to talk Ellen out of her grief. Whatever form it took, they usually just let each other feel it until it passed. This time was different. 

 

“Ellen you’ve been alive for so long. Another hundred years or so...shouldn't that feel like a drop in the bucket?”

 

“Not when you’re waiting to see your child again.”

 

Laura nodded.

“Ellen…” she began.

“I’d love this baby so much,” Ellen interjected before she could finish.

 

“I know that, Elle,” Laura conceded. She could see Ellen’s focus growing distant, her resolve starting to fade. “But we’ve been through too much to risk compromising what we already have. And if you really do want another baby it needs to be based on only that desire alone and not because you believe that there's a chance of getting back what we’ve lost. That wouldn't be fair to any of us, especially that child. Katya suffered so much because she was created and born for the intended purpose of being something that she failed to become through no fault of her own. How could you- how could we put that same expectation on another child knowing what it did to her?”

Ellen looked around their home, her wet eyes darting around erratically, looking everywhere yet at nothing in particular. 

 

“This is for love. I’d love this child no matter what.”

 

“But can you say that you’d want it just as much if you knew there was no possibility at all?”

Laura’s question hung heavily in the quiet air between them. She watched on as Ellen faught through the storm within herself.

 

“No,” Ellen broke the weighty silence with her whispered response. 

Her eyes gradually grew wider, filling to the brim before raining tears down her cheeks once more as if her own answer had suddenly struck without notice like lightning to the heart. 

Laura nodded in understanding. Her anger was mostly gone, but though she felt that she’d done the right thing she knew that the guilt would take longer to fade.

Some long moments passed as they sat together. 

Laura wanted to reach out for Ellen’s hand and yet she stopped herself. For the first time in years she felt as if it wouldn't be the comfort that she needed. She was shocked at how much it hurt her to realize and she wondered how long it would last. 

They’d become so reliant on one another and this was where it had led them. One finally asking more than the other could give. 

“Are you going to be okay, Elle?” Laura tested.

Saul and Bill would be home with the twins any moment and she knew that Ellen wouldn't be eager to explain the state she was in.

 

“Ya know…” Ellen softly spoke, elbows on the table, lackadaisically propping up her chin with her palm, “I really did want to finally find out what it would feel like...I’ve imagined it for so long.”

Laura’s heart tightened further in her chest at Ellen’s solemn forfeiture. The poor woman had fought and given up so many times. They both knew this would be the last.

“I know, Elle. I know.”

 

“I’ve lived and died with it before,” Ellen sighed. “It’s just never been easy.” 

Laura’s eyes stung with the tears that had been thwarted by her adreneline since the moment Ellen had dared to begin. 

 

“You know, Elle- you know that I wish that I were half the mother you are... don’t you?” she attempted.

 

“Mm,” Ellen barely hummed in response.

“I know that you’re angry and disappointed,” Laura went on as she wiped her tears away with her wrist. “And I know that you’re upset with me, but I think you know as much as I do that it... just isn't meant to be.”

 

Ellen took her head from where it rested in her hand and straightened her posture. 

With a forlorn but final concession she nodded.

“Are you going to call Sydra?” she asked. “Ya know...to have them destroyed?”

 

“I think it's well past time that they were...discarded,” Laura rephrased, but it caused Ellen to flinch just the same.

 

Laura took a short shallow breath and held it. It was going to be a long time until Ellen fully let go. Perhaps she never would.

 

“We’ll all be together again, Elle,” she said as she stood from her chair. “One day. In some way or another.”


Pausing only for a moment to rest her hand atop Ellen’s shoulder, Laura made her way to the cooler to start preparing dinner.

“Laura?” Ellen called after her.

With one hand on the opened door of the appliance Laura looked back over her shoulder.

“Yeah, Elle?”

 

“I meant what I said...about a child that came from you and Saul. No matter what other idea I had in my head...I just want you to know that part is true.”

 

Laura stood captured in place. The cold air from the cooler chilled her skin as her eyes locked on Ellen’s; swollen, red and candid as ever. For a moment she pictured her, adorably rounded belly, too big for her thin frame, her hand proudly placed protectively atop the bump. When she felt her face begin to flush she quickly blinked the image away. 

 

With a half of a nod she turned back to her task.

 









Chapter 43: Promise to Promise: A fliclet

Summary:

Thanks to anyone who has checked back to read the Alpha Station ficlets. Promise to Promise follows the ficlet "Ask of Me" but could be read previously to it without much confusion. It will probably be the last post-epilogue ficlet as I think I have taken it as far as I can. If something should strike me or I find something such as an unused/deleted Alpha Station scene that I feel could be enjoyable I might work something around that if the mood should ever strike again. If not I thank everyone for their time and their dedication to sticking with this story.

As always feedback and reviews are encouraged and welcome.

For nanokouw

 

Best wishes!

Chapter Text


Promise to Promise 

“Bill,” Ellen called with a soft uncertainty, so foreign to her usual timbre.

 

As he pulled the bedroom door shut behind himself with a familiar click he looked up to see her watching him; her eyes filled with an urgent expectancy. 

 

Even in the dim hallway he could see the fretful furrow of her brow. He smiled at her, an attempt to assuage her worries as quickly as he could. 

Bill walked down the hallway to meet her, not wanting to speak in front of the door for fear of disturbing Laura’s rest.

 

“Hey,” he greeted as he leaned in and gave Ellen a kiss on the cheek. It had been nearly two days since he’d left for Alpha Station following Laura’s urgent call. “Where were you? When we came in it looked like no one was home.”

 

“How is she?” Ellen asked, ignoring both his question and his greeting.

 

Bill let out a relenting sigh. 

 

“She’s fine,” he answered, accepting that Ellen could focus on nothing else at the moment. “She’s just resting. It was a long day.”

 

Ellen’s already reddened eyes immediately filled to the brim. She blinked and heavy quiet droplets began to spill past her lashes.

 

“Elle,” Bill sighed as he took her hand and pulled her into a comforting hug. “She’s fine. I told you earlier, about five times over. They got it all. It was very early. It's gone. She’s going to be fine.”



As he spoke Ellen’s tears ran hotter and she buried her face into his shoulder. He squeezed her in his arms.

“It’s alright, Elle,” he told her as she shook within his supportive embrace. 

She nodded into him trying to accept his solid guarantee. 

Regardless of their earlier calls hearing Bill say it in person gave Ellen the reassurance that she’d been desperately waiting for. She couldn't help but sob with relief, letting out what had built up over two days of tormenting herself with thoughts of ‘what if?’

 

“Everything’s okay. She’s just tired,” Bill began to explain. “Tawney said there isn't any reason to worry. Laura’s going to go back to getting regular exams like always. That's what they’re for; to catch it early enough so they can stop it before it has a chance to organize. And that's what they just did.”

 

 He stepped back to take a look at her but took her hands into his and gave them a gentle squeeze.  

 

He knew that Ellen understood the medical reasoning, no doubt far better than he did, scientifically speaking. He meant to comfort her, to drill it in and no doubt to remind himself in turn. 

Over the past two days Laura had been as solid as a rock. Unsurprising of a woman who had once led an entire society through the galaxy to a new home while fighting a losing battle for her own life. 

 

After meeting Tawny on Alpha for her usual bi-monthly scans Laura had gone through getting the news that they had found something, calling Bill to come meet her on the station and then enduring a full treatment and eradication procedure all in under forty-eight hours.

 She’d stayed so strong, so optimistic and composed. She was fascinated that what would have taken months or years in her past lifetime with no guarantee of success had just taken mere hours leaving her with a clean bill of health. She’d been so brave and for once, she was a model patient. In turn her example had helped Bill to remain encouraged and reassured that this time everything was going to be fine. 

 

 It had been Ellen who had struggled not to fall apart from afar; bombarding Bill with nervous messages the entire time he and Laura were gone. It was Ellen who had cried every time he’d called to give the family back down on Earth an update. She knew more about the process and successes of early cancer treatments than any of them did and yet the news had shaken her deeply. No amount of consoling from Saul or Sam had helped. She’d been beside herself, too anxious to even drink her worries away.

 

“She’s fine, Ellen,” Bill pledged once again. “She’s better than fine. She’s healthy. She’ll be down for breakfast in the morning,” he said with a wink and an attempt at a knowing smile. “Tawny and the other docs just want her to sleep off the rest of the sedatives and painkillers that are still in her system.”

 

Laura had undergone a laser treatment to eliminate the small cluster of cancerous cells that were found to be attempting to form a tumor in her left breast. After the procedure she’d endured a twelve hour intravenous treatment meant to eliminate anything that could have possibly been left behind or spread beyond the cluster. Though the treatment was rough on her body causing chills, muscle cramping, nausea and dizziness Laura had calmly persevered hour after hour, just grateful that unlike the colonial doloxan treatments in her past, she wouldn't have to return anytime soon. She took measured breaths and closed her eyes as she listened to Bill read to her, just as he had back in Life Station on Galactica. He read her a few chapters of a fiction novel he’d recently been enjoying and he read her articles about some new towns being developed within their sector. He even read to her from Katya’s journal, something they seemed to do together less and less as time went on. When Laura’s vision was clear enough Bill sat with her on her ward bed and they adoringly looked at dozens of photos and videos of Sasha knowing that the sight of her smile was enough to get them through anything. 

 

Laura slept hard once the IV was removed. When they were sure that her body was tolerating the treatment well and her vitals remained steady through the afternoon she was given another scan. They found nothing of concern left within her body. With a clean assessment and just a bit of soreness and grogginess to recover from she was discharged from Alpha’s Women’s Ward to rest at home in her own bed. 

 

“I want to see her,” Ellen sniffed as she looked past Bill toward the door where Laura rested on the other side.

 

“You’ll see her first thing in the morning. I bet you she’ll be down and cooking before any of us roll our lazy asses out of bed just to prove that she’s perfectly fine. Which she is . She just needs her rest right now. And so do you from the looks of it. No offence,” he tried to tease, then grimaced thinking better of his crass remark. 

 

“I couldn't sleep last night,” she told him, as if her distressed midnight messages hadn't already clued him in. 

 

“Yeah,” Bill sighed. “Me either. So where is everyone?”

 

“Playroom in the basement,” Ellen answered as she fidgeted with her chewed manicure, looking as if she couldn't wait to be done with their small talk and get to where she really wanted to be. 

 

“What are they up to?” Bill inquired further, sensing exactly what her goal was in spite of his instruction. 

He almost chuckled as she bit at her lip in frustration before answering. 

 

“Sam and Saul are teaching the kids to play Triad. Sam had a deck printed up the other day and brought it to show them. I had a headache. They got too loud playing in the kitchen. I yelled at them to quiet down...I didn't mean to yell,” She confessed as her shoulders dropped with regret. 


“It’s alright, Elle. It’s been a long few days.”

“Anyway, Saul and Sam took them down to the basement to use the card table. I went to lay down in the guest room. I guess I didn't hear the shuttle drop you off,” she went on, seeming to lack interest in her own explanation as she stared down the hallway.

 

Bill laughed at the thought of the kids playing the ancient Colonial card game.

 

“Just what we need. Gambling five year olds.”

 

“Hmm?” Ellen hummed, still too distracted to register his humor.

 

“Nothing,” He dismissed with a shake of his head. “Any dinner left?”

 

“Yeah, I left some out on the warmer,” she answered, folding her arms in front of herself. 

 

“Thanks.”

 

“I didn't cook. Sam did.”

 

“Double thanks.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“Never mind,” Bill smirked as he moved past where she stood. “I'm gonna head down to the basement and say hello before I eat.” 

 

He’d missed Sasha so much while he was away. He wanted more than anything to hug her tight and tell her that her mother was perfectly fine and waiting upstairs to kiss her goodnight. 

 

“Ellen,” Bill called back as he started to make his way to the stairs.

She said nothing, but turned to acknowledge him.

“Let her sleep.”

 

“I will,” She replied blankly . 

 

“She’s okay. We’re all okay.”

 

Ellen gave him a single nod and then watched him descend down the staircase. 

 

Bill left knowing good and well that Ellen would be opening the bedroom door as soon as his footfalls were out of earshot.

 

Just as he’d predicted Ellen made her way to the door. She paused as her fingertips hit the cool doorknob.

Her eyes shut tight and she clenched her teeth. 

 

“It isn't fair! ” She heard the echoing declaration of a voice from years before.

 

Shh! Stop shouting, Katya . This is a laboratory not a boxing ring,” she heard herself reply. “Have some damn respect. Do you want to lose your apprenticeship?” 

 

 “ Yeah right, I’m so sure you’d let that happen,” Katya mocked in return with a cynical roll of her eyes. “As if anyone around here can get away with anything without your say so.” 

 

“Would you behave yourself, please?” Ellen had scolded, glancing beyond where they stood by the stasis chambers to see if they’d disturbed any lingering lab staff working after hours.

 

“You’re not listening to me, Aunt Ellen.”

 

“I am . I’m trying to tell you not to worry, kitten. It’ll be fine. You’ll get used to it.”

 

Katya didn't want to get used to it. That was the whole point. 

Laura and Bill had always appeared to her in stasis as young adults, just as they’d been when she was born. She’d never seen the inhabitants of the lab’s stasis chambers any other way.

 

“Why now ?”

 

“Because it’s time, honey,” Ellen insisted.

 

“Why not just wait until everything is ready?”

 

“Because, I think I’m getting close. And it’s best if artificial aging is done slowly a little at a time. I’ll do a little now and a little more right before the time comes to extract them. Whenever that may be.”

 

“Close? How close?”  Katya interrogated with a distrusting glare. “Weeks? Months? Years? You’ve been close to figuring out their resurrection for decades! No one knows that that means! That’s why I’m here!”

Ellen flinched at the accusation. It hurt. Not because it implied that she’d so far failed in her task, but because of the resentment that it was laced with, as if Katya was personally angry with her for not figuring it all out soon enough to prevent her very existence. If there was one thing that cut at Ellen’s heart it was hearing her beloved little girl imply that she shouldn't have been born. It was depressing how often it actually happened.

“I can’t say exactly how long,” Ellen admitted, arms crossed and rocking back on her heels.

 

“Well then how the hell do you know you’re close ?” the angry teen snapped.

 

Katya,” Ellen reprimanded. “ Knock it off. There are still a few staff members working around here somewhere.”


“I don’t really give a shit,” the girl returned with a caustic dismissal.

Stop it. You’re fifteen . You don’t get to talk to me like that!”

 

“This is stupid .”

 

“Its not stupid, Kat,” Ellen rebutted yet again, annoyed with herself for even responding to Katya’s childish arguments. 

 

She’d taken her to the lab after dinner specifically to inform her of the Project’s intention to start the aging process on three of the six remaining bodies. Ellen had been dreading the conversation, paranoid that any disruption of the troubled adolecent’s disposition might send her spiraling. After an emotionally tumultuous year things in the Tigh household had just begun to improve and stabilize. Though she hated to jeopardize it all Ellen knew that preparing Katya for the coming changes was necessary. Springing it on her abruptly or letting her learn of it from the lab staff would be far worse. 

“You know how much work I’ve put into this, how much time. Do you think I would do something that I felt was stupid ? C’mon, kit. Give me a little more credit and respect than that. Please.”

 

Katya cracked at her knuckles, a subconscious effort to relieve the tensions astricting her from within.

With no way to reply without diminishing Ellen’s devotion and sacrifice her frustration grew and she was forced to change tactics. 

 

“There is no physical benefit. Why is it so damn important?” 

 

Ellen placed a palm to her forehead and sighed, mentally preparing to recite the same explanation she’d already given twice over. 

 

“Resurrection is going to be hard enough on them, Kat,” she remarked as she looked over toward the two bodies floating lifeless within the stasis chambers. They looked so perfect, nearly untouched. They hardly looked real. Like butterfly specimens preserved in poured resin. “They are going to come into a world they don't know, a time they don’t understand. It may cause them some temporary psychological distress. The least we can do is let them see a familiar face the first time they look in the mirror, let them start where they left off, at least physically.”

 

Katya stewed in place, her mind scrambling to combat the infuriatingly pragmatic justification. 

“And what about Karl Agathon?” She challenged, knowing they had no such plans for the man. 

 

“That’s a different situation,” Ellen conceded and for a split second Katya’s brow rose as if she had somehow gained the upper hand. “The only thing I can do is to age him to the point where I last saw him. Even if he lived a long life after that, it’ll be easier for him than the others. Sharon wouldn't have aged with him. Better to have the two of them in similar standings. If Baltar and Caprica had survived I’d be doing the same with them. We have to weigh the benefits against the risks when it comes to each case.” 

 

The decision was a complicated one. Ellen was only grateful that she didn't have to make the same choice for Athena or D’anna. 

“But as far as, Sam, Laura and Bill go,” she continued as confidently as she could manage with Katya glaring at her, “I know just about where their last lives ended. I won't add to the shock of bringing them back by letting them wake up looking practically like teenagers. Uncle Saul agrees with me. As do Dr. Le Blanc, Dr. Xao, the EOC and the team of Orbit psychologists we’ve consulted with.”

Katya swallowed down the anger that was crackling inside of her ears. She walked a few paces closer to the stasis chambers where her birth mother floated within the suspension fluid.

Realistically she understood that it was a done deal. She could do nothing to stop what the Project’s leaders had planned, but she’d be damned if she wouldn't argue like hell and tear apart their limited sight.

 

“How will you even know when to stop?” She asked at a lower but no less combative tone. 

 

“I have a good memory,” Ellen attempted to lightheartedly reassure her, meeting Katya at her back and resting her hands on her shoulders. 

 

“She was already sick,” Katya countered, shrugging Ellen’s hands off. “When you last saw her she was dying . How can you judge what she would have looked like if she were healthy?”

With her hands tersely displaced Ellen frowned and folded them in front of herself. 

“You’re right, baby. You are. I’m going to get Laura as close as she was to the day I met her.”

 

She was already sick when you met her,” Katya spat.

Ellen flinched at the flare of anger.

“Kat, I’m going to try my best. Please trust me. Why is this bothering you so much?”

 

Katya whipped around to face Ellen with a look of sudden fear brewing in the angry cobalt depths of her eyes.

 

She was sick! ” Katya snapped again. “ She’ll get sick . Y ou’re running her body’s clock out before she’s even in it. That’s not fair!

 

Ellen’s jaw went slightly slack. For a moment she didn't know how to respond. 



“Are you coming in or not?” Laura called from behind the door.

 

Ellen jumped at the other woman’s voice, suddenly pulled out of the cold station lab and back into the present setting of her warm home on Earth.

 She composed herself as best as she could and hurriedly pushed the door open.

 

“Were you just going to stand out there listening to me breathe?” Laura greeted with a wry smile from where she lay in bed. 

 

Ellen momentarily froze, taking Laura’s image in. She looked well. Tired, but well. Her skin was bright and her hair as thick and shiny as always. Ellen felt another wave of relief wash over her. She hadn't realized how afraid she’d been to see some physical signs of what Laura had endured while away. 

 

“I didn't know if you were sleeping,” she finally spoke. “Bill said not to bother you, but…”

 

“C’mere,” Laura said as she held her hand out to be taken.

 

Closing the door quietly behind herself Ellen made her way in. In a few quick paces she was by Laura’s side and clasping the woman’s extended hand between both of her palms. She’d hadn’t taken her hand in weeks. Not since before Tawny’s party.

 

Ellen bent at her knees by the bedside and gently put Laura's knuckles to her lips. Her hand was warm and alive and it made Ellen’s eyes surge with grateful tears once again.

Her throat closed up making it painful to breathe in. 

 

“It’s alright, Elle,” Laura softly assured her. “It’s fine. I’m fine.”

 

“I know,” Ellen sniffed, squeezing Laura’s hand and lowering it from her lips. The comfort of her familiar hands always felt like home to Ellen. At first it had just been because they looked and felt so similar to Katya’s, but over time she had come to associate them with the compassion and support that had become her new constant. She’d missed it, regretting the recent strange distance that had developed between them. “I know that. I just…One minute you were only out for a check up and the next…”

Laura’s brow creased as she witnessed Ellen’s distressed state. She’d known the whole time what condition she would most likely be in, but actually seeing her reaction in person was different. 

 

“We’ve always known that they would probably find something one of these days,” Laura said with a shrug, trying her best to minimize the event. “To be honest, I’m a bit shocked it took this long.”

 

Ellen winced at the remark, her stomach turning with hidden guilt.

“I...I know, but...”

 

“It hardly had time to organize,” Laura went on, intentionally cutting Ellen off. She’d been doing the same to Bill for two days, hoping that if she spoke rationally enough and in an optimistic enough fashion that it would keep his fears at bay. “It was in such an early stage of growth. I couldn't feel it. That's what the scanner is for. It lit up, they located the cells and I was given treatment and a procedure within a matter of hours. And now it’s gone. It’s actually quite amazing to live in a world where that’s possible.”

 

Ellen gave a half-hearted nod.

 

“I still hate it,” she said in only a whisper of her usually bright and boistrus voice. 

 

“Me too,” Laura agreed with a hum and a dark chuckle. “So where’s my baby girl?” She asked, eager to change their focus. 

 

The simple question echoed through Ellen’s ears. 

“She’s uh...um she…”



You're forcing a life on her that she’ll have to fight for from the begining. How is that in any way okay? ” Katya’s voice rang through the lab, uncaring of who heard. It was far from the first tantrum she’d thrown there. 

 

“Honey, is that what’s scaring you?” Ellen asked, reaching out for Katya’s arm again, this time taking a firm grip and forcing the girl to turn and look her in the eye. “You think she’s going to develop cancer?”

 

“No! I know that she will. If not immediately then eventually. She’s got the same fucked up gene that I do. I’ve seen her probability estimator. It’s over eighty percent. You put her at the age she developed it last time and it's going to happen again.”

 

Ellen frowned. She finally understood.

 It wasn't that the idea hadn't crossed her mind. She just hadn't considered that Katya might be fixating on it so heavily. She felt foolish for not addressing it sooner. The topic of Laura’s health had always caused Katya a level of distress, even before she was old enough to understand that she’d unfortunatly inherited the genetic predisposition. As a child when Saul told her stories about her birthmother she’d always loathed hearing about the woman’s illness. 

 

“That's not necessarily true, kitten,” Ellen attempted.

 

“Whatever,” Katya muttered in pouting dismissal. 

 

“It’s not, Kat. Listen; firstly, none of them can develop cancers within the stasis chamber. It wont allow their cells to mutate let alone multiply out of control.”

 

“Big deal. So her body is only safe while she’s in here,” Katya said, turning back to Laura’s chamber and dragging a finger across the cold glass. 

 

“Secondly,” Ellen continued, “it’s more than just genetics that figure into someone's likelihood of developing cancer, be they genetically predisposed or not,” she went on as practically as possible. “Often it takes a catalyst to cause those cells to begin to mutate and multiply. Outside factors, unhealthy habits, radiation or toxins. These bodies are pristine. They haven't suffered the exposures that their old bodies did,” she finished.


Ellen had meant to assuage some of Katya’s worries, she’d meant to calm her down and ease her fears, but when she saw the girl’s shoulders stiffly rise she knew without having to see the expression on her face that she’d just said something to make things even worse.

 

Pristine ,” Katya repeated as if the word were poisonous.  

 

“Yes,” Ellen asserted, waiting for whatever backlash was coming.”



“Ellen?” Laura frowned. “You okay?”

 

Ellen blinked hard and shook the haze from her head. 

 

“Yeah. I’m- fine. What did you say?”

Laura’s brow creased. Ellen seemed so tired and distracted, far worse off than she even felt herself. 

 

“Sasha? I asked where she is.”

 

“Oh. Right. Sorry,” Ellen fumbled. “The kids are in the basement playing cards with Saul and Sam. Bill just went down to see them. I'll bring her up before she goes to bed.”

Laura nodded in thanks.


“When did Sam get here?” 


“Last night. He said he was going to work on the cradle with Saul this morning, but he just played with the twins all day. He was actually a nice distraction for them.” 

 

After Tawny had called Sam to let him know why she wouldn't be returning home as planned he’d left their apartment in town and made his way to the Tighs, figuring Saul and Ellen could use his help with the kids.

 

“So...what did you tell Sasha?” Laura asked, a bit wary of hearing the answer. 

 

Though Bill had called down to check in with the family quite a few times over the course of the stay on Alpha their availability between Laura’s treatments had not lined up well with being able to speak to their little girl. It had been almost two full days since Laura had seen or spoken to Sasha. It was the longest she’d ever been separated from the child. It had truly been the hardest part for her. 

 

“I didn't tell her anything,” Ellen admitted as her eyes suddenly welled again. “I couldn't, Laura. I’m sorry. I know that I should have, but I couldn't do it. I didn't want her to see that I was upset.”

 

“Did she ask?”

 

Ellen bit her lip and nodded.

“Saul handled it. He told her that you had to sleep over on Alpha because you needed special medicine. She asked if that meant you were sick. Saul said, no. He said the medicine was so you didn't get sick later. He told her that everything was fine and he promised that you would be back in a day.”



Laura nodded, decidedly pleased with Saul’s tailored explanation to the kindergartener.  Lords knew he had years of experience coming up with many a difficult explanation for Katya.

 

“How did she respond?”

 

“She seemed to understand in her own way,” Ellen considered. “I think she was a little worried, but she didn't ask many more questions. At bedtime she was a bit upset that you weren't home to tuck her in. Saul had me come in here to get some of your perfume. He sprayed it under her pillow so it smelled like you were close. He used to do it for Kat when I would have to work overnight on the basestar,” she explained, as Laura smiled at the sweet gesture. “I think it helped, but I wound up staying with her all night anyway.”

 

Laura’s eyes widened despite her fatigue.

“She was up all night?” 

 

“No,” Ellen corrected. “I was. I needed her a lot more than she needed me.”

 

Laura‘s expression grew pained. It hurt to think that her daughter had been even the slightest bit worried, and it killed her knowing just how distraught her health scare had made Ellen. 

She absolutely hated that she’d caused anyone unrest, but even so, she couldn't help but be comforted knowing that Sasha felt so safe and loved with the Tighs in her absence. Laura found solace with the assurance that her daughter would have all that she needed even if one day the worst did happen. Saul and Ellen had raised her child before and if they had to they would help Bill do it again. 

 

“I’m back now,” she stated with a half smile. 

 

Ellen nodded and sniffed back the vexing tears that she’d been failing to abate for days.

 

“So how was it?” she asked as she palmed Laura’s hand again. “Are you in pain?” 

 

“No. Not really. A little soreness from the laser treatment, but nothing I can’t handle. Especially after nursing Sasha through teething,” Laura mused.

 

Ellen winced and finally cracked a bit of a smile.

“She sure was a biter,” She remarked, causing Laura to chuckle at the memory.

 

“It was the IV they had me on that was the worst part. It was a lot like the day after a round of Diloxin. Some chills, nausea, bad headache. But it was over so quickly. And now I’m home.”

 

“Now you’re home,” Ellen repeated. 

 

“Feels good.”

 

Ellen nodded and took in a long even breath. It was becoming easier to do the longer she sat by Laura’s side. 

 

“How’s Tawny?” She asked, finally ready to venture slightly off topic. 

 

“Getting bigger by the day,” Laura reported with a grin. “She wanted to spend some time with her father so she stayed the night instead of taking the shuttle back with Bill and I.”

 

“Sam mentioned that. He’s staying the night here again tonight since she’s gone anyway. He and Saul claim they’ll finish the cradle in the morning. If they don’t get distracted again, that is.”

 

Laura shook her head and smirked.  

“The two of them have been working on that tiny cradle for weeks. Didn't they each help you to create eight unique humanoid biological machines and thousands of copies? Why is one tiny little crib such a challenge for them?” 


“Well for one thing we didn't have any beer around back then,” Ellen said with a wink.

“That makes sense,” Laura laughed.

 

“Plus back then I had Tory to keep everyone on schedule.”

 

“Aha! Well that explains it. There sure weren't any allowances for going off schedule with Tory around,” Laura recalled. 

 

“Exactly. That’s why I hired her in the first place.”

 

“Me too,” Laura mused. “Anyway, I don’t know why they’re insisting on building a crib. We have two perfectly fine and stabley printed cradles going unused in the attic.”

 

Ellen rolled her eyes and shrugged.
“We ordered those back on Alpha. They have the space and the tools now to make one with their own bare hands. Makes them feel manly.”


“Well we can keep one here for when we babysit, but we better have the other ready for Tawny if the two manly men take any longer with their project.” 


“That’s probably a good idea,” Ellen agreed.

“I wonder, now that Xao will have a grandchild of his own, maybe he’ll reconsider coming planetside,” Laura posed.

 

“Mmm maybe, but I doubt it knowing him. Then again, kids do change things in ways you never dream of. It’ll be so nice to have a baby around again,” Ellen said for about the hundredth time since they’d learned the couple was expecting.

 

“Sasha and Liam sure are excited,” Laura deflected somewhat deliberately. 

 

Ellen was quiet for a moment as her eyes lost focus and she stared into nothing.

 

“I miss when they were tiny,” she whispered. 

 

“It was such a hard time, Ellen,” Laura said with a sigh.



“It was, but it was priceless. Every moment of it,” Ellen wistfully remembered. “We did okay. You and me. We figured it out. We made it through.”

Laura nodded. She couldn't deny that much.

“You’re right, Elle. We did.”

For a moment there was a silence filled with memories of the not so distant past. 

 

“Are you still mad at me?” Ellen bluntly tested. “About...after Tawny’s party?”

 

Almost three weeks had gone by with no mention of the heated capricious exchange. A minimal lingering tension had remained between the two women, but no acknowledgment of it was made. They did their best to keep it from being obvious, but there was no doubt that something had changed between them. They evaded any questions from their husbands when they asked what was wrong, both of them hoping it would all dissipate and that things would return to normal on their own.

 

“I was never really angry with you, Ellen,” Laura shrugged. “I was...I was upset, I guess. I hope you’re not still angry at me. I understand though, if you are.”

 

Ellen shook her head. 

“I’m not,” She insisted. “I guess I’m just still a little...sad and disappointed, but that’s not your fault. It’s a sadness that’s been with me for lifetimes. I don’t know why I thought…” Ellen trailed off, deciding that it was all better left in the past; another minor stumble along the path they shared. “Anyway, you were right. And I should never have put you in that position. I can admit that now. Even though it hurts. After the last few days I know for sure that I want this family to stay just as it is. And I know that everything I need to get through the rest of this lifetime safely and happily is already with me under this roof.” 

 

Laura smiled through a slight pang of guilt, as she saw the poorly masked hurt behind Ellen’s well intentioned claim.

 

“I couldn't agree more,” she told her with a nod, knowing that they would probably never speak of any of it ever again. 

 

Another comfortable silence settled between them as they each sat in thought.

“Laura?” Ellen eventually spoke up, regaining focus and looking the other woman dead in the eye.

“Hm?”
“Laura, you can’t leave me,” Ellen announced, as if it were some kind of sudden decree. “Ever.”

“What are you-“

 “Please, you have to promise me,” Ellen implored as she closed her eyes tightly trying like hell not to allow her tears or the voice haunting her memory to return. 

 

“Pristine? ” Katya’s shouting echoed in her ears again.

“So fifteen years ago when her body was pumped with a half dozen artificial hormones and chemicals meant to mature, extract and steal her ova, get her pregnant and then forcefully induce premature childbirth, none of that stuff could be considered an outside catalyst? Artificial hormones, Aunt Ellen? I’m no doctor, but I’ve studied enough about them to know that they most certainly can cause cancer!


Ellen stared back at Katya in resignation, finally accepting that she was out of explanations and justifications that would even come close to making her feel better.

 

“You’re right, Kat.”

 

None of these women have pristine bodies, Aunt Ellen! That was seen to years ago.”

 

Ellen took a step back and nodded in concession. 

“I’m sorry, kit,” she said after a pause. “You’re right. I didn't factor in her body’s exposure to all of those procedures. I apologize. I wasn't thinking of that,” she admitted, though she doubted that it would have changed her plans if she had. “And I’m sorry for not realizing that you’d be so worried about her health. I should have taken more time to explain it all to you. Even so, nothing they used on Laura back then was long term. Her exposure was brief and minimal and with all that taken into consideration I still think that this is what's best for her. She’ll get frequent scans, just like you do. She’ll have the best healthcare Orbit can offer her. And if anything starts up we’ll find it quickly and treat it and stop it in its tracks,” Ellen pledged. 

 

“Over and over again when it keeps coming back?” Katy challenged. 

 

“We’ll do whatever we have to do for her to ensure her health.” 


“And you’re telling me that if- no- when a tumor starts to develop you won’t feel the least bit guilty about the choices you’ve made for her?” 

 

An image of Laura behind brig bars, sick, trembling and in need of medication flashed in Ellen’s mind’s eye. 


“Katya, I feel guilt over more than you know when it comes to this woman. But I’m bringing her back to save the descendants of her people so that her sacrifices don’t turn out to have been made in vain. I’m bringing her back to do what I believe she’s meant to...and…as much as I want you all to myself, I’m bringing her back to meet her daughter. When- if she ever gets ill, well, I’ll do whatever is in my power to fix it, because I’m sure as hell not bringing her back just to suffer.”


Katya looked down at the lab floor, her fighting stance finally deflated.

 

“Kat, you’re going to have a good long time with your birth parents,” Ellen continued. “Life expectancy here is so much better than what they ever knew back on the Colonies. They’ll be with us for the long haul. I promise. You’ll get to make up the time you missed with them and then some.”

 

“This isn't about me. It’s not about me getting to know them. That's not the point anyway. I mean...she just shouldn't have to deal with all of that pain again, right?”

 

“You’re right,” Ellen echoed, before pulling Katya in for a hug.

 

This time she didn't try to pull away. 

 

“I know she’s not even alive yet,” Katya had cried into Ellen’s shoulder, “but...I don’t want her to die.”

 

“Baby, it's going to be okay,” Ellen vowed and squeezed her tightly. “I won’t let anything happen to Laura. The same way I won’t let anything happen to you. I promise.”

 

Katya leaned out of their embrace to face Ellen eye to eye. 

“You know that you can’t make that promise.”

 

The words reverberated around her, the voice dropping an octave and becoming clearer.

“You know that I can’t make that promise, Ellen,” Laura said plainly. 

 

Ellen cringed and rubbed at her eyes, chasing off the powerful recollection.

“Gods, Laura. Can’t you just lie to me for frak sake? Ever?”

 

Laura rolled her eyes and tried to smile. 

 

“Elle, I’m sorry all of this has upset you so much. We knew it would probably happen eventually. And it will probably happen a time or two again until…”

 

“Stop. Please, Laura,” Ellen abruptly interrupted. “ Just stop. I’m sorry. I know that you’re the one who just went through all of this. I should be comforting you. I know that, but I just can't bear the thought. I can’t. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry for everything.”
As Ellen tightly gripped on to her hand and cried at her bedside Laura gazed up toward the cabin ceiling. 

 

“You know…” She spoke after a few moments. “I didn't want this.”

 

Ellen looked up through her tears to see Laura staring up above at nothing.

“Of course you didn't,” she said with a hiccup. 

“No, not the cancer. This,” Laura said gesturing between the two of them with her free hand. “ You, Ellen. And Bill and Sasha and how worried you’ve each been. I didn't want this. This is all part of what I avoided my whole life back on the Colonies,” she sighed with a shake of her head. “I knew...I knew that I was going to get sick one day. I knew it was probably going to kill me. Hell, I was banking on it for a while. I didn't want to burden anyone else with that. I didn't want anyone to mourn me the way my father mourned the loss of my mother. I didn't want to leave someone desperately missing me the way that I missed my sisters. I didn't want children who would be forced to suffer the way I did caring for my sick mother only to bury her in the end. I didn't want to put someone I loved through all of that heartache and worry and loss and depression. I just wanted to get through it alone. I didn't want this.”

 

“Well that’s just tough shit, now isn't it?” Ellen returned with a scowl. “Want it or not you have it now. You have a little girl, you have your husband, you have me. You have a whole frakking family who worries about you and loves you and who would do anything for you because you mean so much to us. Now you look me in the eyes and tell me that it’s not a better life knowing that this time, no matter what happens or when, you won't be alone. Tell me.”

Laura sighed.

“You’re absolutely right, Elle. It is better. It’s much better. It’s just that sometimes it’s a hell of a lot harder.”

Ellen tilted her head.

“All the pain, the worry, the stress and tears and all the bad that comes with the good...it's worth it. Love is worth it. It's always worth it. Kat was worth it. You’re worth it, Laura.” 

Laura let a long breath out and nodded.

“I keep having to relearn that over and over again it seems.”

Ellen looked down at their joined hands and swallowed. 

“Laura?”

“Hm?”
“I need to tell you something.”

“I can’t take anything big tonight, Elle,” Laura teased with a smirk. “Maybe save it for the morning.”

 

Ellen shook her head.

 

“No. It...it doesn't matter anymore. Not really. It’s just- something I want to tell you.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“When you first got here, when you first resurrected on Alpha…” Ellen tentivily began. “I remember how you hated this frakking body. I remember taking you to the ward that first time.”

 

“How could I forget that lovely surprise,” Laura chided. 

 

“You were so annoyed with me because you thought I frakked up, didn’t age you enough in stasis, caused you all kinds of problems that you didn't want to deal with. I kept telling you that I just made a little mistake, that I’d misjudged. I laughed it off and just told you it was an accident. I made my jokes, I told you ‘too bad ’ and just to deal with my silly miscalculation. But...I was lying, Laura. It wasn't an accident. I did it intentionally.”

 

Ellen stopped. She could feel Laura’s confusion and when she glanced up it was all she could see in her eyes.

 

“Go on,” Laura prompted, her brow quizzically creased. 

 

“I stopped the process early because...because Katya was scared for you...She was scared of you getting sick...and I knew I’d feel so guilty if…” Ellen shook her head unable to finish the thought. “I tried to buy her some time. I tried to placate my own conscience. I got as close as I could without making it look too obviously planned or too questionable and then I stopped it.”

As Ellen confessed Laura’s expression turned unreadable. 

It was quiet between them for a few moments

“I see,” Laura finally spoke. “Did Saul-”


“No. He didn't know. He commented on it a few times especially while helping me age Bill. I just told him that he was wrong or got him off of the subject somehow. It was easy to explain away. I never even told Kat what I did, even though I did it mostly for her. I never told anyone. That is, until right now.”


“Right,” Laura said in a near whisper, still absorbing the confession.

 

“I’d apologize only…well, after the last few days I’m not sorry,” Ellen admitted.

 

Laura thought about what Ellen had just explained to her. She thought of her daughter afraid of losing her before they’d even met. She thought of the cruel irony of losing Katya first. She thought of Sasha one day having to live with the same fears once she knew enough to worry. 

Little could be done to change the fate that any of them had ahead, but somewhere along the line, in her own way, Ellen had tried to help.

 

After a moment more Laura nodded and cleared her throat. 

 

“Me either,” she decided, despite the strangeness of what she’d just learned. Ellen’s meddling had no doubt caused her some discomfort and stress following her resurrection, but the more Laura considered it the more she realized how impactful it had truly been. “Thank you for- telling me the truth, Elle.”

 

Ellen’s usually impish lips curved slightly into a cheerless smile.

“How about a truth for a lie?” She proposed as her eyes watered yet again. “Lie to me, Laura. Just tell me that you won't ever leave me. Promise?”

 

Laura watched on as Ellen’s tears slid down her cheeks one by one punctuating her pitiful pleading. She couldn't help but let the corners of her lips curve upward, remembering the days when the woman beside her just wanted her to frak the hell off.

 

“Elle,” Laura said as she reached over to wipe a stray tear from her trembling chin. “I love you, Elle.”

The simple statement filled the air between them, warmly wrapped itself around their tired bodies and tucked itself securely into every space it could find.
 

It wasn't what Ellen had asked for, but she knew Laura well enough to understand that the truth she’d just offered had and always would be far more difficult for her to speak than any lie. 

 

Ellen wiped a few new tears off of her cheek and looked down at the bedsheets by Laura’s hip.

 

“Liam wanted pancakes this morning- I burnt them.”

 

“I’ll make some in the morning,” Laura assured her through a yawn.

 

“Are you going to sleep now?” Ellen frowned, remembering Bill’s instruction of the doctor’s orders.

 

“I think so,” Laura said with a smile and a sleepy nod. 

She scooted herself down further under the quilt attempting to make herself more comfortable.

“Did you...want to be alone?” Ellen asked, hoping like hell she wouldn't ask her to go.
She needed to be by Laura’s side for a while longer. She needed to watch her breathing, she needed to watch her just being, she needed to convince herself that everything was just as it had been only a few days before.

As much as Ellen needed it Laura knew that she had to allow it. She had to allow those who loved her to feel all of the other emotions that went with it. She had to allow them to hear how she felt in return. She had to allow it  because she finally knew that she couldn't save them from it, nor did they want to be saved.

 

“Wake me when Bill brings Sasha upstairs for bed,” Laura mumbled, gesturing with her free hand for Ellen to take one of the chairs over by the bedroom fireplace. 

Ellen humed in affirmation. 

With another kiss to Laura’s knuckles she let her hand go and stood up from where she’d been kneeling by the bedside.

She took a seat by the foot of the bed and watched as Laura closed her eyes, finally ready to rest and recover. 

“I love you too, Laura,” Ellen whispered from her perch. “I promise.”