Chapter Text
Harry had known what he wanted to be when he grew up from a very young age. He was one of those kids that just always knew and never changed his mind. But most kids wanted to be things like doctors, teachers, or scientists. On the other hand, Harry wanted nothing more than to be a homemaker.
Harry had been taking care of his relative’s house ever since he had learned to walk. He had no choice in the matter and he hated that he hadn’t been allowed to be a normal child like his cousin and his friends. But he genuinely liked to do tasks like cooking and cleaning. He just wanted to do them on his terms.
Petunia was a disgrace to all housewives. Harry didn’t know what she had done before she could force her nephew to slave away at her responsibilities. Harry knew for a fact that he was better than her at every single household chore. Whenever he came back from the summer, the house was always in mediocre shape. She should be ashamed of herself. That piece of shit always took credit for his perfect tea cookies and sandwiches. His amazing lattice pie crusts. What the fuck did Petunia know about the art of weaving pie dough into intricate patterns? What did she know about slow roasting meat so it was fall off the bone tender? Her roast was always tougher than an eraser.
She avoided hosting events when Harry was not around, despite the fact that she had always hosted multiple before he went off to school. He wondered what the other women on the block thought. Surely they realized that there must be some inconsistencies.
Petunia was a disgrace to the profession. And yes, being a stay-at-home parent was a profession. It was unpaid and you never got to clock out. But clearly, not all moms were made equal. Harry knew that Vernon and Dudley preferred his cooking. It was one reason they were angry they had to send him to Hogwarts. Because Petunia couldn’t hold a candle to the glamorous breakfasts that could feed a troll that they had made him make.
Learning about magic and Hogwarts was an experience… He hadn’t been exactly surprised, he noticed that he had done strange things before. And he noticed the Dursley’s irrational hatred of the word ‘magic.’ Though he had never really expected a whole magical world.
While he was glad to get away from the Dursleys, he missed doing simple tasks for himself like cooking. House elves were nice and all but Harry just preferred to do things himself. Plus he could use magic now! He had found a book of household charms in the library during his first year and had been studying the topic through the years. He perfected them. Though there are certain actions he preferred he would do by hand. For example, cooking and washing dishes by hand was just so much more relaxing than using magic. It was more rewarding too. Though he could see that using magic would come in handy when entertaining a large group of people.
Even after learning about magic and all the different careers he could have, he never was swayed. Several people had an idea of what they believed he wanted to be. The famous Harry Potter surely must want to be an auror. His father was and he was good at defense. That was what most people assumed. In his fifth year, Professor McGonagall started career counseling. She had assumed that too.
Harry looked her in the eye and simply said, “I want to be a homemaker.”
“Excuse me?”
“I don’t want to be an auror. I don’t want to fight dark wizards. I simply want to take care of the household and hopefully children. Perhaps I’ll play Quidditch while I find a husband but afterward, I’ll quit.”
She sputtered, looking scandalized like she couldn’t believe he didn’t want a career. “But your grades are mostly excellent, especially in Defense. You would do well as an auror, your father was an excellent auror, and he would be proud of your skills.”
Harry internally rolled his eyes. Years ago, he would have loved to know that. But he was tired of people pulling the dead parent’s card when they wanted him to do something that they believed his parents would want him to. He was sad he never met his parents but they were dead. And even if they weren’t he would not care about their opinion about this.
“My mind will not change. I’ve always wanted this. But if you have any husband recommendations, I am open to hearing them.”
Harry realized he was attracted to the male gender during his fourth year when he accidentally befriended Cedric Diggory. The older student was incredibly attracted. Unfortunately, he had a girlfriend, a very pretty one.
But during that year, Harry realized he would prefer a husband to a wife. Really, before he hadn’t considered what a partner would look like when he decided he wanted to be a homemaker. He just knew that was what he wanted.
As he got older, he started to consider who he could marry. Apparently, he had some power in the wizarding world. He didn’t want to be in charge of that. So he had to find someone who could take care of those responsibilities. He learned that wizards often got betrothed for political reasons in the wizarding world. He didn’t care about marrying for love so he wouldn’t mind that as long as they weren’t abusive or controlling. He may want to be a househusband, but that didn’t mean he was a pushover.
He started to consider pureblood wizards in his year. A Slytherin would be ideal as they would be able to recognize the mutually beneficial partnership they would get with him. His first thought was Draco Malfoy. Their childhood rivalry had always been more on Draco’s part. And it kind of felt like the equivalent of pulling pigtails on the playground when a boy liked a girl.
Harry figured that Draco had a crush on him and went about it in a very childish way. But if Harry showed interest, Draco would likely puff up proudly and take it in stride. He also would have the pureblood training to manage Harry’s estate. But Harry hated Lucius Malfoy and didn’t particularly want to marry into that family. He would rather not have Lucius Malfoy as a father-in-law.
His next option was Blaise Zabini. The Italian was very attractive and seemed to be less of a prat than Malfoy. But there was a rumor about his mother killing her husband and Harry didn’t know if her son would follow in her footsteps. He’d rather not have to watch his back. He would kill any man that threatened his life anyway. It would be easy since he would be in charge of meals and tea.
He didn’t just consider Slytherins or boys in his year. He considered older men as well. He wouldn’t mind marrying older. He had a list of any single suitable wizards who he wouldn’t mind marrying. He considered wizards ‘below his station’ as well.
The older Weasley boys were attractive and had stable careers but he didn’t want to marry into that family. Molly Weasley was simply too much. Besides, it was obvious, she wanted him to marry his daughter and be the stereotypical breadwinner. She seemed to like to enforce gender roles so she would be horrified by the fact that Harry wanted to defy them.
He wouldn’t mind muggleborns either but homosexual relationships were taboo in the muggle world. Finding one that would be chill with his wants would be difficult.
And there was the issue of being the alleged ‘savior of the wizarding world.’ Apparently, that came with expectations. From the headmaster specifically. Dumbledore was much too involved in his life for Harry’s liking. He had been implying that Voldemort would be coming back during Harry’s entire time at school and Harry needed to be ready for that. He wanted Harry to be an auror. And he seemed to be of the opinion that Harry cared what he thought.
And at some point, Harry did care what the headmaster thought. But after years of getting into dangerous situations that the man downplayed, he was not eager to take the man’s advice. Taking Dumbledore’s advice never went well for him. And harry had uncovered several of the headmaster’s schemes that made him heavily dislike the man. He avoided him at all costs whenever he could. Harry had decided that his husband could not be a Dumbledore supporter. They would agree with the man about his ‘duty.’
After consideration, he decided what would make a perfect husband. They had to be powerful. Power was attractive. And it meant he could protect their family from any threat that came their way. With Harry’s luck, there would likely be many threats. Harry could never catch a break. Harry didn’t particularly care what they did to protect him, his morals were not what other people assumed. He also had to be intelligent, another future he found attractive in a man. He couldn’t live with someone who wasn’t at least as smart as him. But if they were smarter than him, he wouldn’t complain. He had to be willing to stand up for Harry. No one really stood up for him. Sirius always did, that was part of why Harry loved the man.
His future husband had to be interested in politics. While Harry did not want to use his political power, it shouldn’t go to waste. They had to have their own wealth. Harry was wealthy himself, but he didn’t want to marry someone who wanted him for his money. And he wouldn’t mind someone who could spoil him as well. He also had to have ambitions, Harry wanted to support someone who was going somewhere in life. Harry was loyal and he would support someone to the very top through the ups and the downs. And even though Harry did not have huge ambitions, he appreciated that in a man. It was like the way he found power incredibly attractive.
Dumbledore had been right about Voldemort. Harry had unwillingly been entered into the Triwizard Tournament during his seventh year and during the final task, Voldemort rose again. That was weeks ago. And Harry, Harry kept it to himself. He believed that he had found the perfect husband.
“I’m free!” Harry said, as soon as he entered Grimmauld Place, the Black townhome that Sirius had been hiding in ever since he broke out of prison. Harry had come straight from Hogwarts, not bothering going to the Dursleys even though Dumbledore said that he just spend two weeks there for their protection. He didn’t give a rat’s ass about their protection. The only thing he would miss about that place was the kitchen. He hoped Petunia burned down the home with her awful cooking someday.
“You’re free!” Sirius said, hauling him into a bear hug. “And you can use magic, are you sure you don’t want to go back and give them a little scare?”
“Are you encouraging murder?”
“Nooo,” he dragged out, his tone completely unserious. “I would never suggest that.” When Sirius found out how the Dursleys treated him, Harry had to talk his godfather out of becoming an actual muggle murderer. Not that Harry would have been upset about it. But Dumbledore might investigate and find out Sirius had done it. Harry didn’t want to risk one of his only sources of happiness and the most supportive person in his life.
Sirius may have never got to raise him, but those times they spent together after he broke out of Azkaban were some of his favorite memories. He considered Sirius his dad by now even if he didn’t say the word.
“We need to talk…”
“Oh?” Sirius looked nervous. “Is this when you tell your old man, you’re moving out to live on your own? Am I going to be an empty nester at 38?” He sniffled dramatically.
“Sirius, I’m serious.” He groaned when he realized what he said. “Don’t start, let’s sit down.”
Sirius followed after him to the sitting room with a concerned look but kept silent to let Harry explain.
“As you know I’ve graduated. Because of that blasted tournament, I didn’t have much time to concentrate on after I graduated, but I need your advice.”
“You found a husband then?” Sirius asked with a grin. Harry had told Sirius about what he wanted to do with his life the summer after they had met and Sirius was the first person to be completely supportive. He hadn’t batted an eye and offered to help Harry find a good beneficial match. He was a pureblood, he was used to arranged marriages.
He had been the one to tell Harry that he had a lordship— three actually, he had recently learned that— he explained the implications of that. And harry decided he wanted nothing to do with it. But he also realized that it would make a marriage to him much more appealing for someone with political aspirations. He could allow his husband to control that.
Sirius had helped him with his list and found a solicitor to format offers, negotiations, and a marriage contract. Harry had not sent any offers yet as he felt none of his choices were quite right yet. None of them made him excited. Until now.
“You can’t tell anyone what I am about to tell you.” Harry just knew that Sirius would support him in this, even if he didn’t like it. Harry explained what had truly happened when he grabbed the cup during the third task.
“Harry, what the fuck? You—you… I—Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.”
He took a deep breath, “okay. Okay. But what does this have to do with our previous conversation?” His eyes widened directly after the words left his mouth. “Harry, no. No. You don’t mean what I think you mean. Harry, no.”
“Harry, yes.” He said, “I mean exactly what you think I mean. He fits my checklist perfectly.”
“Do you think he’d really agree to that?”
“Well, I think he’ll consider it. It would be smart for him to agree. He doesn’t seem like the type of person to get married but if he’d be foolish not to accept my offer. I’m handing him a white flag and a lot of power on a silver platter.”
He sighed, “you’re not wrong.” He raised his hand to his head to massage his temple.
“Please say something,” Harry said after a prolonged period of silence.
“If this is what you truly want. But the contract will be thorough and there must be a courting period so you can back out and consider other options.”
Harry doubted he would change his mind but he agreed, he was safeguarding himself. “Thank you, Siri, you’re the best.” He practically jumped out of his seat to hug the man. “I love you, dad.”
“I love you too, pup.” Sirius sounded choked up, he placed his head on Harry’s shoulder to no doubt hide his tears.
Harry smirked internally, he had meant the word, but he had most definitely used it with purpose. Sirius wouldn’t deny him anything after that.
“I think I’ll play Quidditch for a year so I have something to do while I’m courting. I’ve already got some offers to play without trying out.”
“You’ve got skills pup. Are you surprised?”
“I know, I’m going to go get settled. I’ll see you for dinner.” Harry was out of the room before he heard Sirius’ response. He went to his room. Sirius had set up a room just for him in the house even though Harry had never fully stayed with him here. When Sirius showed it to Harry the first time, it had taken everything in him not to cry. He cried himself to sleep that night in his bed. No one had ever cared about him like that.
Harry unshrank his belongings and placed them in the corner before going straight to the locked box in his dresser. He unlocked it and carefully took out the locket. He had found this locket on his first visit to the townhouse. He had been scared at first because of what had happened with a similar item during his second year. But the locket did not attempt to kill Harry. Instead, they simply talked, Tom understood Harry more than any of Harry’s friends. He didn’t pity Harry but he listened as was sympathetic to Harry’s issues and in turn, Tom told Harry about himself.
This was the true reason Harry had chosen the risen Dark Lord to be his husband. Harry enjoyed Tom’s company, they were a lot alike. And Harry liked to listen to Tom talk about his ambitions and what he wanted to accomplish. Harry didn’t see many faults in what he wanted to change.
Tom didn’t know why his counterpart went after Harry, but Harry hadn’t held it against him. And Tom theorized something drastic must have happened for Voldemort to do so. And Harry liked Tom so much, he didn’t particularly care what Voldemort had done.
In the back of his mind, Harry had always thought Tom would be the perfect husband. But Tom wasn’t alive and Voldemort was. He couldn’t marry Tom so he could marry another version of him. Tom had always seemed jealous when Harry talked through his list.
“Tom,” he called his friend out of the locket, waiting for him to immerse. He hated that he had to leave the locket here in the summer, but they both agreed they didn’t want Dumbledore anywhere near the locket. He smiled brightly when Tom emerged.
“Tom, guess what?”
Tom looked him over as he always did, checking for any damages Harry may have gotten at Hogwarts. “What is it?”
“You’re back. Real you.”
“Oh, what happened?” His eyes gleamed with interest.
Harry explained again what had happened in the graveyard.
“You did good, getting away. He seems a bit unhinged. I wonder if the ritual went wrong… I wouldn’t have trusted that rat with something so important. From what you’ve told me, I’m surprised I keep him around.”
“Me either. I would really like to kill that bastard.” He spoke out loud, describing several ways he could do it.
“You should.”
Harry smiled at him, Tom supported all of his ideas that most people would be horrified at. “I made my mind up on a husband.”
“Who is it?”
Harry knew him well enough by now to know that the neutral curiosity on his face was faked.
“Voldemort.”
Tom’s forced neutral expression twisted into a pleased smile. Of course, the egomaniac would love that Harry was planning on marrying his living self. “I think that’s a wonderful idea.”
“Yeah? You think he’ll go for it?”
“If he doesn’t he must be completely insane. It’s a smart match for him when he has to start from scratch rising from power again. I’m still not sure what he has against you but proposing a match should be a truce in your one-sided conflict. I’ll help you with your proposal. If we need to, I’ll talk with him.”
“Well if it doesn’t work, I’ll have to marry Draco Malfoy.”
Tom’s face darkened, “It will work.”