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Suppression (And Getting Over It)

Summary:

Suppression.

The conscious inhibition and ignoring of impulses, desires, or feelings that are deemed unacceptable.

Or:

With the universe saved and absolute solver destroyed, Uzi, N, and V, can live a normal life within the Copper-Nine colony. It's a good thing that nobody has feelings for anyone, and moving on will be easy.

...Right?

Chapter 1: Feelings?

Chapter Text

Serial Designation V watched intensely as the lilac-haired worker drone held a conversation, or perhaps it was a silent argument, with her father. Who blinked his white eyes slowly and gave a tired frown while he said something to his daughter in a low voice. V couldn't figure out what the two were talking about, and she could tell that Uzi was not liking it by the way she clenched her hands into fists at her sides and shifted from one stripe-sock covered foot to another. 

But she could make an educated guess that Khan had finally decided to address the murder drones living situation. It was pretty clear by now -to V, at least- that the doorman father had started to want his home back from the company of the two disassembly drones. 

N and V would have just gone back to living in the far away, isolated, frozen landing pod where they belonged. Well, maybe N didn't belong so far away from Uzi and stuck in the snow. Not that V cared or thought that-... And not that the cold would really hurt any of them, as they don't have skin. If severe enough it might freeze some internal gears, but that was not likely. However, the reason they were camping out in Uzi and her father's home instead of in said landing pod was because -thanks to Doll, J, and Tessa- the damned thing was not exactly available as a living space. Just to put it short.

Basically, it was about time he kicked the uninvited guests to the curb. 

It wasn't like they had been bad guests. While true that V wasn't the friendliest, she did try to get along with Uzi's father. She's doesn't get why, but she felt the need to get him to like her. Or at least, not hate her. N was often annoyingly nice about it. Going out of his way to bring the man breakfast and clean everything he could reach. The guy meant well but Khan just seemed more annoyed about not being able to get to his couch without being bombarded by "Thank you"s and gifts rather than V watching him from afar to see if he would criticize anything Uzi or N did. Not that she cared about their feelings or anything. 

Actually, Khan Doorman should have rightfully removed them from his home after he had walked into Uzi's bedroom without knocking and seen serial designation N drinking oil from his daughters arm like some fucked up sort of vampire. They had to eat somehow. But Khan had most definitely taken the situation as something it was not, based on the horrified screams he had let out before promptly slamming the door shut.

Oh, and it was quickly after that when a "no boys in your room" rule was established -to both Uzi and N's dismay- so that meant N was left to sleep on the couch. Despite his numerous apologies and the fact that nothing was happening with the two. Drinking oil from the poor girl was definitely not like that, which was the honest truth, to be fair. Also that it was Uzi's idea, not that N mentioned that. Not that V herself fully believed there was nothing sparking between the pair, and for whatever reason that thought made her feel...well, something. She just wasn't exactly sure what.

It must be disgust, seeing as she hates both of them. She hates Uzi's pretty weird hair and her butterfly-in-stomach nausea inducing laugh. She hates the way N smiles when he gifts her a poorly drawn picture that he put way too much love care into and the way he always has something sweet dumb to say.

It's definitely disgust, because she hates those idiots. 

To V's surprise, after N had been banned from sleeping in the same room as Uzi, she was invited to share the girl's bed instead of sleeping on the floor like she and N usually did, because- "Now that N sleeps on the couch, there's no real reason for me to make you sleep on the floor. I guess it's not fair. Or whatever." Uzi had explained. And if V was just a bit more stupid she might think that there had been small, purple blush lines appearing on the angsty girls screen. 

It wasn't like V had ever wanted to be close to Uzi. She longed to be. Actually, she hated the idea of being even just a little bit close to the worker drone. So when she climbed up into bed with the girl she didn't blush or smile or say anything at all. V was silent and stayed as far on the other side of the bed as she could. She didn't at all love  feel any sort of way about being so close she could feel the warmth of Uzi's overheated circuits or be surrounded by the comforting smell of the lavender-drone. 

She didn't sleep so good that night. Too busy trying to avoid touching the other, something about it made her circuits feel floaty wrong. And she did not like listening to how Uzi's vents brought air in and out as she lay in sleep-mode. She hated that Uzi kept trying to cling onto her because worker drones are known to get cold easily and maybe it's because the disassembly drones are just warmer from overheating. V did not give up her half of the blanket and instead wrap it around the sleeping girl so that she wouldn't be cold because V just couldn't bring herself to hold her. Her battery-core did not ache in any way upon pushing away Uzi's attempts at cuddling her. Even though Uzi wasn't awake or aware of what she was doing, so it's not like V would hurt her feelings. Not that she cared about how the worker drone felt. Uzi was just a little cold. 

A sudden hand on her shoulder pulled the disassembly drone from her thoughts. She snapped her head around to see N behind her. "You're still spying on her?" He asked, a small grin on his face.

V could feel her circuits starting to warm up at his knowing look, but she shook her head and stepped back inside Uzi's room instead of continuing to peer around the doorway at the girl and her father. "No!"

"I'm not spying on anyone!" She snapped, gritting her teeth and avoiding eye contact. "Just wanted to know if we can finally leave." She came up with the excuse rather fast, and sounded confident enough when she spoke.

Though N didn't buy it, he nodded his head and took his hand away. V felt his touch disappear and was definitely glad about it, she didn't at all feel disappointed or anything that he was taking a step away from her so that he could climb up onto the edge of Uzi's bed and continue doing whatever boring and stupid thing it was that he liked. Probably drawing another silly picture. 

V huffed and turned from the doorway to go slump down into the chair at Uzi's desk. V liked that chair because it had wheels and so she could spin it around. That's exactly what she did, she pulled her knees up to her chest and began spinning the chair around in circles. 

It was at that moment when Uzi finally came back into her room. Shutting the door behind her and frowning while she muttered angrily to herself. V swallowed the urge to ask her what was wrong, but N didn't. He looked up from his drawing and then swung his legs over the edge of the bed. "You good, Uzi?" He asked her. 

Uzi, still frowning, walked over to him. Right past V. Not that the disassembly drone girl noticed at all. It's not like V felt a painful twinge in her wires at the idea that Uzi didn't even consider going to V for comfort. N was just better at that stuff. Uzi dropped onto the floor, sitting with the back of her head against his knees. "My dad is being stupid," She grumbled. To which the boy raised a hand and started to pat her head gently, and Uzi didn't smack his hand away. She just sat there glaring at the floor with her arms crossed over her chest. 

V didn't feel very jealous. She just felt...oddly enough, she felt sort of left out? She wanted to comfort Uzi the same way N seemed to be able to. She could see Uzi's shoulders relax as he managed to wordlessly calm the lilac-haired worker drone just by existing in her presence. 

"He wants me to kick you out!" Uzi threw her arms up, an annoyed tone in her voice and a glare to her eye-lights. "It's like he thinks that you can just sleep in the snow." 

V could see how N's frown deepened, whether that was from seeing Uzi upset or getting the news that they would actually be leaving was hard to tell. Something about his sad expression made her glare at the floor. 

She really, really wished she could think of something appropriate to say that would make N smile again and just go back to looking as stupid as he was a few minutes ago. Maybe say something that would make Uzi stop glaring at her own purple-stripe socks and pouting like that, just go back to trying not to smile at N's stupid jokes or maybe even laugh. 

V was definitely not afraid that if she opened her mouth the feelings that had made their home in her chest cavity would crawl out from deep inside her battery-core and make her say something she actually meant. So instead, she pressed her lips together and kept the words wedged between her teeth.

"We'll be okay, Uzi." N said in a calm voice. V wondered if he meant him and Uzi would be okay, or if he meant he and V would be okay. Could he mean all three of them? It would fit his character. It would be nice. But V couldn't assume anything. He continued, "I don't mind the snow!" N sounded somewhat happy, doing his best effort to cheer up the purple-haired girl. 

It worked, but only a little. She took a deep breath. "It's not fair," The lilac-haired worker drone complained, though she did sound more calm. 

V didn't exactly enjoy just sitting there and listening to them talk, she wanted to be part of the conversation. She wanted to cheer them both up. She tried to stay silent, but that proved harder than she thought. The silver-haired girl stopped spinning in the chair, setting her feet to the floor. Her movement caught the attention of Uzi and N. Then she spoke -in a nicer tone than what was average to her character- before she truly thought about her words, before she could filter them, "You'll be fine, toaster. Me and N will figure something out." 

Uzi blinked, she seemed slightly confused by V's speaking in a comforting voice. And though it often annoyed Uzi that V never used her actual name, the change in tone was more distracting. The lavender-haired drone was unsure of how to react. It seemed like V was trying to be nice to her. "Thanks," Uzi murmured, and looked up at V.  

N smiled, he held a thumbs-up toward V. The idiot had that sort-of stupid smile on his face, as if he could see that she was actually trying despite how scared mean she was. And something about him seeming, well, almost looking proud of her made her circuits warm up. She glared at the wall opposite of Uzi and N. "Whatever," She muttered.

Not like she would ever admit that she was glad N had noticed her attempt. She wondered if Uzi would notice the reason for this? 

It was shortly after that when V really started to think to herself, maybe being nice wasn't so bad?