Chapter Text
The light left Anakin Skywalker.
As his eyes sealed shut against the water and lick of flames he sunk somewhere no-one could reach him. He was lost in a murk of congealing darkness.
It pressed down on him, ripped his cells into mere atoms and tossed them into whatever space he was trapped in. He'd scream if he remembered how. His only ability was to think and even that was shrouded and drifting.
The currents spun him, tore him to the edges of the universe and catapulted him back together repeatedly. It was a torturous existence. He wouldn't say it was painful, he lacked the ability to feel, but it was disorienting and unnatural.
When the Masters of the Temple became tired of the young slave's questions of death and the Force they described the very little they knew about what came next in words a child lacking primary education may understand.
They said it was light.
Lie.
They said it was peaceful.
Lie.
They told him he would feel whole.
He wished he could haunt them just to tell them how wrong they were.
If this was death and rejoining the Force he would've shut his eyes and blocked out the Jedi and their lies in favour of living the life he always dreamed of. It would make whatever he was being subjected to worth it.
He would've stayed with his Mother, pocketed small percentages of his pod racing wins until he could Free them both. Next he would've seeked out Padmé once more and whisked her away to a secluded planet where the three could live in peace. He would hope his path would converge with Obi-wan and Ahsoka at some point so he could hide them in his bubble as well. Once he had the ability to Free those lost in bondage he would travel the galaxy doing so, and made sure his battalion ended up with him.
It was all dreams.
It was all fairytale but he yearned for it. A life of purpose he chose.
A life where his gold plated Republic issued shackles finally were released.
A life he was actually Free under the light of Ar-Armu who smiled gently on them, her tears of happiness drenching the sands in green and life where his family would finally be whole.
But even as his thoughts drift with his being as it's tugged and melted in this abyss he wonders if the Jedi were lying at all.
Anakin wasn't a good Jedi.
He'd argue he wasn't even a good person. He'd done so much bad.
He'd killed for revenge, allowed himself to be blinded by anger and suffering and subject innocents to that. He'd maimed, tortured and played with his victims.
He was darkness. So perhaps the light rejected him.
Perhaps the dark had swallowed him whole.
Perhaps this was all his fault, just as all the pain in his life was.
Perhaps Anakin Skywalker was getting what he deserved.
So he stopped thinking.
His consciousness floated with the waves, it drifted into the claws of the darkness and it stopped questioning and just accepted.
It seemed the abyss was waiting for this.
The first tell something was changing was a distant echo.
It reverberated through the space, vibrating his being and jolting his mind back into space. It wasn't distinguishable but it didn't stop. It grew louder, more desperate. It shook him until he was trapped in an constant earthquake.
The next tell made him question if he'd interpreted this all wrong.
Anakin had almost forgotten what it was like to feel anything until his chest began to burn.
It was soft at first, almost comforting until the flames grow hotter and more ruthless. It surrounded him, melting him back into a human like form withering in agony.
The flames clawed at his face, shoulders and chest. Whatever Anakin was trapped him was hell or perhaps the Sun Dragon that lived within his soul had finally had enough of him and was trying to escape.
It felt like it lasted an eternity until it all suddenly stopped.
His brain had melted, he was sure of it, no longer able to process the pain, the noise.
He drifted once again, a coil of fear ever present that it would start again.
It wasn't long before he was being tugged again, his being pulled taunt by an invisible string. He had no strength to fight it even as his consciousness was pulled further and further away.
He barely noticed the light.
He barely noticed the taste of artificial air and his aching throat.
What he did notice was the voices that gently called it him.
"Oh my dear one."
A whisper stitched by woe. The voice made him feel safe though he didn't trust it.
The Sun Dragon could strike again at anytime. He tugged slightly on the string hoping to stay in the cooling mesh of darkness that he'd grown so familiar with but whoever pulled him further was insistent.
"Master please wake up"
This voice was louder. It was drenched with sadness and almost made him feel bad. A flash of blue and white infiltrated his mind.
He felt an ache of longing, as if the voice was touching him and soaking him with it's pain. It jolted him, the space shook as if it was challenged.
Anakin grabbed the string for purchase and his added weight seemed to increase the speed.
Only now did he notice a small pinprick of light above him.
"Skywalker I need you to fight right now"
Even in this state he could sense the authority in this voice.
It was familiar and he could imagine someone tall rolling their eyes at him. But something that threw him off, and perhaps caused the intense wave of vertigo that twisted his stomach, was it sounded worried, moreso than he had ever heard before.
The string faulted and ceased it's movement.
He felt a brush on his head and suddenly the string grew thicker and easier to grasp. With all his strength Anakin pulled himself up.
The message was clear, it was his job now to keep moving, to leave the Sun Dragon and the false safety of the darkness behind.
He continued to climb.
"I love you so much Ani. Take your time my love but know we miss your voice everyday."
Anakin was shaking, at least he thought he was.
The closer he got to the light the more attuned he became with himself.
Everything that had previously burned now were abnormally tight. His throat ached like hell and everything tingled with excess energy.
He felt his strength waning. Maybe he was destined to be pulled apart in the darkness.
All that previous self-hatred pooled back in his gut, phantom heat of the Sun Dragons fires licked at his skin.
But that voice, that voice brought him comfort and melted the pit of anxiety in his stomach. It smelled of flowers and caressed his skin with gentle warmth.
He grit his teeth and climbed.
His fingers arched finally to the light above him.
Just as the tips touched the glowing surface and he was swallowed whole, one final word appeared at the forefront of his mind and he didn't feel afraid.
'Padmé'
He was Free.
-
“Master Kenobi tried to lead me through meditation again Master.”
Ahsoka couldn't help the wet chuckle that escaped her.
She held her Master's hand in hers, careful of the lines protruding from it. Even after all this time she couldn't bring herself to look at his face for long periods of time.
“He told me I’ve inherited your hate for the practice… but it’s helped. Maybe that’s what you’re doing. Catching up on all your failed attempts”
She tried to laugh again to break the tension in the room but failed as she fell into a broken sob.
She spared a glance at Anakin's face where the pressure tight humidified oxygen mask practically obscured his entire face as it provided constant pressure to his healing lungs. It was better than the intrusive tube only changed days before.
It still doesn't hide the burns marring his forehead and disappearing into the barely regrown hairline, or the electrodes monitoring his brain activity.
She swallowed heavily, dropping her gaze back down to their interlocked hands.
“I really miss you Master. Rex and the boys miss you. Master Kenobi… he misses you so much. Padme. Force even Master Windu has commented on your absence. Something about it being too quiet now."
She cleared her throat, attempting to wash away the lump threatening to block it.
Six weeks and it hadn't gotten any easier.
Their shared apartment was barely touched, a layer of dust on every surface, the air stale after she'd failed to spend more than a few minutes in there. It wasn't home without muttered curses and the smell of a smoldering iron as her Master attempted to fix another broken droid he'd somehow gotten his hands on.
Thankfully, Master Obi-wan needed the company as well and had happily hosted her in his own quarters.
She just wanted him back.
"It’s true though Master. The Temple is eerie now. When I go to the barracks everything echoes… Just wake up for us Master. Anakin? Please?”
She squeezed his hand gently, her eyes closing as she tried to compose herself. She'd lost enough dignity with the amount of times Master Che walked in on her crying, but even she didn't stop the young Padawan mourning.
The grief was stifling.
She could barely focus on lessons and point blank refused missions if it wasn't with Anakin. She felt like a shell of herself with the supernova that was her Master next to her.
Lost in her own mind she barely noticed the twitch of Anakin's hand but after weeks of nothing she sat up straighter and stared wide eyed at his face.
“Master?”
It took a moment but Anakin slowly furrowed his brow.
“Anakin!?”
She shot to her feet, her hand squeezing his, forgetting about the cannula now.
Anakin groaned softly behind the mask and her heart pounds.
“Come on Master! You’ve got his.”
She practically pleads.
He makes another noise, more like a whimper when the door behind her opens. She barely registers the presence as quick feet walk over after seeing the young Padawan hovering over her Master's still form.
“Ahsoka?”
It's Obi-wan.
She can barely help herself as her voice comes out a lot louder than she intended but he barely flinched.
“Master I think he’s waking up!”
She hears something drop as he rushes to the other side of the hospital bed, his hand reaching up and touching Anakin's forehead. The light that had dimmed in her Grandmaster's eyes was slowly igniting.
“Anakin?”
It takes a moment, and almost a moment too long that she begins to question whether she imagined it when Anakin's head rolls slightly towards Obi-wan's voice.
Obi-wan let out a choked laugh, his hand running through the short cropped hair.
Ahsoka steals a glance and sees the most beautiful relieved smile she's ever witnessed on his face. Her eyes mist up.
“That’s it Padawan. Come back to us”
Both Jedi hold their breath as Anakin's eyes shake slightly under his eyelids before inching open to reveal slits of blue they'd both missed so dearly.
Both of them were point blank ignoring the tears dripping down their faces.
“There you are. Oh Force Anakin you scared us.”
Obi-wan says through a choked relieved sob.
Anakin stared for a long time and Ahsoka swallows nervously.
Master Che had warned that he'd gone without oxygen for over ten minutes after being under Kamino's unforgiving waves and the later resuscitation on the rescue ship. There was no telling until he was awake if he'd be the same.
Obi-wan seemed to share the sentiment.
“Anak-”
“Obi?”
It's quiet, hoarse and barely audible over the hiss of the oxygen but it's there all the same. Both of them sag with relief,
“Yes! Yes young one it’s me.”
They stared into each others eyes for a long time, neither saying another word. Ahsoka almost feels like she's intruding but she could barely find it in herself to care.
Anakin's eyes blinked sluggishly and she worries he'd fall back asleep for another six weeks if he shut them completely.
Before she could shake Anakin more awake Obi-wan quietly ordered,
“Ahsoka get Master Che.”
She shoots her head up to glare at him, her mouth opening in protest, her stomach coiling in fear he will be gone by the time she's back,
“But-”
“Ahsoka please”
His voice is heavy and Ahsoka can't fight it. With one more squeeze of Anakin's hand she steps away, only turning when she passed the doorway and began sprinting down the corridor to find Master Che.
Back in the room Anakin continued to stare at Obi-wan. He didn't seem confused but he couldn't discern what exactly his ailing former Padawan was thinking.
He resumed the soft stroking of Anakin's head,
“Do you know where you are dear one?”
It takes a few seconds for Anakin to respond. Obi-wan could practically see the cogs turning in his brain as he took stock of himself.
“Cold”
Again it's quiet and muffled, but it's his voice, a voice he hasn't heard in over a month. Obi-wan could kneel over with relief.
It was unlike the Jedi he hoped to portray, but he'd been so lost without Anakin and now he was speaking, something he was so scared he lost forever whether he woke up or not.
“I’ll grab another blanket soon young one. Can you tell me where you are?”
Again it took Anakin some time to respond but even with half-lidded eyes he responded,
“Bed.”
Obi-wan smiled reassuringly at him though he couldn't help the worry sinking in as Anakin's gaze drifted away for a second. He gently tapped his head to bring the attention back to the conversation, offering a small smile when Anakin's eyes found him again,
“Good, anything else?”
Anakin swallowed and looked around again before answering,
“Che?”
Obi-wan's brow furrowed in almost perfect imitation of Anakin's own.
“Master Che? Yes she’s-”
“Right here.”
Master Vokara Che strided into the room followed by a gaggle of other healers from the Temple. Obi-wan was swiftly moved away from Anakin's side. He didn't fight it, knowing they needed the space and fragile attention of their patient.
He choked out as he clamped his hands together to stop the shaking,
“Master he’s talking but-”
Che didn't even let him finish, already shining a light in Anakin's eyes who choked out a small whimper. It made Obi-wan's heart clench painfully.
“Allow the healer to make the assessment Kenobi.”
She stared down at her patient, taking in his roaming gaze and lack of movement.
She tapped his cheek until his eyes focused back in on her. She almost smirked at the slight swallow and nervousness that echos around his force presence.
'He's still in there.'
“Hello Skywalker, can you tell me your full name and age.”
He didn't answer for a good few seconds but Che had all the time in the world for him. Anakin wet his lips under the mask before saying,
“Cold”
She nods curtly, loss of attention span (if he even had any to start with) and confusion are to be expected,
“Yes. You’re on a lot of fluids and you are recovering. Temperature regulation will be difficult but that isn’t a priority right now. Now what is your full name and age.”
She was almost certain he didn't take in most of her medical rant but with a furrowed brow and a squint of his already half-lidded eyes he says,
“Anakin Skywalker... 21”
She nodded, not able to hold back the proud smirk that snuck onto her face,
“Good and where are you?”
It took him less time to answer,
“Jedi.”
She nodded along, already signally for her fellow healer's to grab the necessary equipment for further tests,
“Close enough. Anakin I need to perform a number of assessments on you with some of my colleagues, is that alright?”
His stared at her, blinking owlishly before his gaze roamed around the room again,
“Obi?”
He whimpered, lifting his organic hand shakily into the air. Che ticks off one of the mental points in her head for the neurological test.
She didn't try to stop the auburn Jedi Master as he rushed back to Anakin's side, giving them some time as she prepped her equipment, her ears still open to the young Knight's responses,
“Yes Anakin I’m here.”
Obi-wan reassured, holding Anakin's hand which was noticeably warmer and lifting the other to stroke his head, careful of the healing burns.
“Cold.”
Anakin whimpered.
Obi-wan shot a concerned look to Master Che as he shushed Anakin,
“Master?”
Che barely glanced at him as she pulled some gloves on,
“He will be confused and slightly disoriented Kenobi. His brain has suffered a lot of stress and he's been in a coma for far longer than I'd like. Until I perform further tests we won’t know the extent of the damage.”
Obi-wan swallowed nervously but nodded and looked back at Anakin. He gave him a gentle smile,
“Anakin I need you to listen to the healers okay?”
Anakin blinked back at him, suddenly shifting slightly on the bed. It was clear he was frustrated,
“Cold.”
He insisted.
Obi-wan tutted sympathetically, rubbing the knuckles of Anakin's hand,
“I know young one. Why not you help the Healers and I’ll find some more blankets, okay?.”
Anakin seemed to consider this before shutting his eyes briefly and nodding stiffly,
“Okay.”
He whispered.
Master Che moved forward at that and shot Obi-wan a look that clearly told him to step out the room.
Obi-wan sighed softly but nodded, brushing Anakin's head once more and offering a reassuring smile before stepping away, quickly losing view of his Padawan as healers swarm into position.
He took his time stepping away but the motions of the team were a lot calmer than they had been for the last six weeks.
He holds that comfort in his heart as he leaves the room to find a nervous Ahsoka in the corridor.
He smiled at her and she sagged with relief.
He pulled her into a hug, his head resting between her montrals as he projected feelings of comfortsafehome to both his Padawans.
It would be alright, Anakin wasn't done fighting.