Chapter Text
Lightning Testing
“Thank you for coming to help us, Thor. I honestly can’t wait to see how your lightning compares to our simulations.”
Thor beamed at the Stark Industries test engineer in front of him. “Aye, your testing methods are most fascinating. The Man of Iron told me much about them on the way here,” he said. He looked at the new quinjet sitting in the testing bay. “That is a fine machine. I am almost afraid to ruin it.”
The engineer chuckled. “Actually, we wouldn’t mind if you destroy it. It would give us a great idea of its limitations. Besides, we built a few duplicates just in case,” he said.
Thor nodded. “Your consideration for safety pleases me greatly. I am sure that my fellow Avengers would want nothing but the best for their flying crafts,” he said.
Thor was attentive during the pre-test briefing, often raising his hand to ask surprisingly thorough questions about the procedure. “So, you wish for me to summon lightning and transfer it to the aircraft by putting Mjolnir in contact with the leading edge of the right wingtip?” he asked, remembering the technical terms Tony had drilled into his mind during the drive to the facility.
“Yes, exactly. Nothing fancy,” the engineer confirmed.
Thor’s eyes glinted eagerly. He entered the testing chamber while the rest of the crew took cover in an observation room. He gripped Mjolnir and strode up to the airplane as if it were a giant foe, grinning in anticipation as the countdown began.
“Three, two, one-.”
“HAVE AT THEE, QUINJET!” Thor roared, leaping into the air. There was a blinding flash of lightning and a deafening peal of thunder followed by dead silence.
Thor laughed and turned to the shocked observers who peered through the window as if frozen. “I trust that the test went well?” he asked.
“Well?! You cooked it, you big palooka,” an old engineer with aviator glasses exclaimed from the corner.
Thor turned back to the quinjet and frowned. All that remained of the hapless right wing was a melted stump. “Ah… clearly my lightning exceeded your tolerances,” he mused. He grinned sheepishly. “Well, I suppose you now know what happens when a quinjet is struck by a thunder god?”
… … … … … … … …
Supersonic
Tony thoughtfully watched the video he had recorded of Thor flying over the ocean. “I’ve gotta say, Mjolnir’s speed is impressive! You’ll have no trouble with flying side by side with a hypersonic missile, Thor,” he said.
Thor glowed with pride and patted his hammer lovingly.
Loki snorted. “Impressive? Perhaps, but the shock wave-,”
“Vapor cone,” Tony interjected.
Loki rolled his eyes. “The vapor cone makes Thor look like he is wearing one of Agent Romanoff’s tutus,” he said.
Tony wheezed, and Thor’s hands sparked dangerously. “You take that back, Loki!” he growled.
“No, no, he’s got a point! I’m sending this to Nat,” Tony chortled.
“You wouldn’t dare!” Thor gasped.
A few minutes later, at a farmhouse halfway across the country, Nat received Tony’s video with the following caption:
Got a ballet student candidate for you.
“Oh, Tony,” the spy groaned, even as she went to show the message to Clint and Laura.
… … … … … … … …
A/N: Hello! I have returned with my nonsense, even though I was pretty sure that this fic wouldn’t get another chapter. XD I based the first drabble on a flight test engineer’s description of one kind of lightning test (apparently the probe he used can blow a pretty big hole in a carbon fiber control surface). The second one is based on a sleep-deprived observation I made while watching supersonic flight videos. The way one plane’s vapor cone was positioned made it look like it was wearing a platter tutu lol.
Have a virtual shawarma if you guessed who the old engineer is based on! I stole his insult from a Captain America story that was written by Stan Lee for one of the first Captain America issues in 1941. Apparently it was inspired by a really old comic about a clumsy boxer named Joe Palooka. XD