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We’re All Mad Here

Summary:

Barf and Belch join the kids in the Hidden World, but their acceptance into the pack causes a few problems.

OR

Barf and Belch cause a lot of chaos.

Notes:

Yes, I’m stealing episode titles for the chapter titles, but they fit so well!

I wasn’t planning on doing an introduction story specifically for Barf and Belch, but then MrCrafter1357 asked if they were going to be included in this fic. That was always the plan, but it got me thinking. They are a main character in canon and deserve to have more than just a few sentences explaining how they joined the pack. And then this idea developed and it was just too cute, so I had to write it.

Just a note that this story takes place about 3 months after Neither More Nor Less. If you haven’t read any of this series yet, I highly recommended going back to the first installment (Everything’s Got a Moral, If Only You Can Find It) and starting there, so you can fully understand what’s going on.

At this point, Hiccup is 12 and the twins are 11. Dragonese is written in italics.

And, once again, I don’t own How to Train Your Dragon or its characters.

Chapter 1: Zippleback Down

Chapter Text

Impossible Things
Inga was finishing her patrol when she heard a loud crash from the island she had just scouted. She was tired and ready to head back to the Hidden World, but she turned around as there might be a dragon in need of help. It didn’t take long for her to find an adolescent Zippleback collapsed in a heap. It looked like he had made a pretty rough landing and would not be walking away from his fall unscathed. He was not fully conscious, so Inga picked him up to take him home with her. When she had been injured and brought to the Hidden World, Pitch and his nestmates had helped her and even allowed her to join their pack. They had big hearts and she was sure they would be willing to help this Zippleback as well.

 

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Hiccup was busy putting the finishing touches on Ruffnut’s new armor. While he would have loved to create something that would offer more protection, he was trying to make the best use of their limited resources and design something that would be easy to alter as they grew.

He had made his armor first, in case there were any mistakes or adjustments that needed to be made. The design was fairly simple by Viking standards: a vest with a belt to secure it, pauldrons, and a set of vambraces. What made them special was the fact that the leather was covered by dragon scales. It was a bit time-consuming, sewing on the individual scales, but it gave them more protection, so it was worth it. Making leather and dragon scale pants would have been ideal, but not practical for making their supplies last. Instead, Hiccup created wraps for their legs, complete with knee pads, that could lace up the sides over their regular pants, allowing them to adjust the fit as they grew.

Hiccup’s armor was made completely from Night Fury scales, except for the spot over his heart where there were three different color scales: deep blue, sea green, and orange. A nod to his family and their bonded. He repeated this pattern on each armor, substituting the scales depending on who it belonged to. Since Tuff was built similarly, making a copy of the armor with Typhoomerang scales went quickly.

Ruffnut’s armor took him the longest as she was built differently and wanted something a little more feminine, resulting in Hiccup making a skirt for her to wear over her leg wraps. Collecting scales from Scauldy was difficult as most of them fell off while he was in the water. Fortunately, Ruffnut was happy to have armor made from her mom’s scales instead, saying that her real mom had never passed down her kransen and that this was way better. She was proud to wear something that connected her to the mom that loved her.

He was sewing on the last scale when a purple Monstrous Nightmare flew to the clearing by their caves, depositing a battered Zippleback in the sand before landing herself.

Hiccup stood and cautiously approached the injured dragon. “What happened, Inga?”

“I don’t know,” she responded. “I heard a large crash and found him like this.”

“I know you must be tired, especially since you carried this big boy all the way back. Go ahead and get some rest. I’ll get Sprite and Whirlwind to help me patch him up.”

She nuzzled him, then flew off to her favorite spot for a nap.

“Hey Sharpshot,” Hiccup called. The little dragon flew over and perched on his outstretched arm. “Can you please find Sprite and Whirlwind and ask them to come help me with an injured Zippleback?”

Sharpshot nodded and took off.

The Zippleback was on the edge of consciousness as Hiccup circled them, trying to catalog their injuries. He went to gather up the healing supplies and by the time he returned, the twins had arrived and had each taken a head, talking gently and trying to get the dragon used to them.

“Thanks for coming, guys,” Hiccup said.

“No problem, bro,” Tuffnut replied and Ruff nodded in agreement.

“I think their front left leg is hurt and their right wing looks to be sprained, along with a few minor cuts. Did you notice anything else?”

The Zippleback opened its eyes groggily, trying to focus on the voices it was hearing.

“This head took a branch to the eye,” Ruffnut commented.

Tuffnut walked over. “You guys are a hot mess, but I can work with it.”

Hiccup rolled his eyes and moved to stand between the two heads. “I don’t know what happened, but we want to help. Will you let us?” He held out one hand to each head and closed his eyes.

The two heads blinked, then looked at each other. Simultaneously, they leaned into Hiccup’s palms.

“Well, that went well,” Hiccup remarked. “Let’s get you fixed up.”

Ruffnut focused on bandaging their foot, while Hiccup and Tuff splinted their wing. They applied ointment to the cuts and Tuffnut made an eyepatch with a drawn-on pupil. As Ruff was putting it on, Hiccup arched a brow and asked, “Was the pupil really necessary?”

“Necessary? No,” Tuff answered. “But wouldn’t you rather look at a fake eye than a blank void?”

Hiccup threw his hands up in defeat and walked over to give the two heads a scratch. “You both get some sleep. We’ll talk more when you wake up.” Hiccup looked around for Sharpshot, knowing that he hadn’t strayed far. “Sharpshot,” he beckoned him closer. “Can you please keep them company and come get one of us if they need anything?”

“Sure, Pitch,” he complied and curled up along the Zippleback’s spine ridges.

 

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The Zippleback slept for the rest of the day and through the night. By the next morning, he was alert and eager to see the kind humans who had helped him.

Ruffnut was the first to appear. She said good morning to Scauldy and George who were waiting right outside the cave entrance for her. Ruffnut missed George’s company in her cavern, but she had grown too big to enter. Unlike Tuffnut who slept with the Typhoomerangs every night, Ruff preferred to sleep in the caves, cozied up with her mom. She would occasionally camp out with George near Scauldy’s favorite pool, but if not, they were always there to greet her first thing in the morning.

She was headed to the fire pit to start breakfast when she noticed the Zippleback was awake. “Hello there,” she said softly. “You had a hard time of it yesterday. Would you like some fish?”

The green dragon purred.

“Scauldy, would you be a dear and get some fish for our new friend, as well as some for breakfast?”

Scauldy nodded and took off.

Ruffnut set a few pieces of wood in the pit and George lit them for her. “Thanks, girl.”

It wasn’t long before Scauldy returned. Ruffnut was sure that Toothless had some kind of sixth sense that alerted him to there being fish nearby as he and Hiccup exited the cave just a moment later.

“Morning, sis. I finished your armor last night. I set it in your room on my way out.”

“Great! I can’t wait to try it on,” she responded as she gutted some cod for breakfast. Nodding toward the Zippleback, she continued, “Our friend is up.”

“Hey fellas, I bet you’re hungry.” Hiccup grabbed some fish from the pile by Ruff and brought them to the injured dragon. “What happened to you anyway?”

“We were trying to fly upside down…”

“…but we lost control and crashed.”

Ruffnut set their cod to cook and grabbed a few more fish before joining Hiccup, feeding one head while he fed the other. “You should be more careful next time.” She noticed that Hiccup was trying hard not to smile. “What?”

“Mom is rubbing off on you.”

“Well, we are a pretty reckless bunch,” she shrugged.

“Too true.”

They were interrupted by proof of that. Tuffnut was tumbling down the hill over their cave, shouting, “I’ve got it!”

“Do I even wanna know,” Hiccup muttered, just loud enough for her to hear.

Ruffnut smirked, “Probably not, but I don’t think we have a choice.”

“Tuff, you realize you could just fly down here with Torch,” called Hiccup.

“But then how would I be able to test out my new armor?”

Hiccup face-palmed.

“But that’s not important right now.” He stumbled as he reached the clearing and then announced, “It came to me in a dream.”

“Here we go again,” Hiccup mumbled.

Tuff stretched out his hands, one towards each Zippleback head, and dramatically declared, “Barf and Belch.”

Ruffnut arched an eyebrow. “All that, just because you thought of names?”

“They’re great names,” he insisted. Looking at the dragon, he asked, “You two like them, right?”

The two heads wrapped around him, giving him a squeeze.

“Neck hug! Awesome!”