Chapter Text
Chapter 1 - Hey great grandson want some drugs? (Oh and a fire arm)-
Odysseus walked into the forest, mind spiraling with plans and potential tactics that could potentially work in combating or convincing Circe to release his men
He couldn’t help but notice that It felt so empty without his mentor there to critique and add onto his ideas
He wasn’t used to having to be the one to respond to himself like when he was younger, before he met and became a student under her..
Odysseus let out a deep breath and held a hand to his temple, wiping a forming tear under the disguise of keeping down a forming head ache, he never enjoyed displaying emotions like this when he was outside of Ithaca, even when alone it felt as if someone was…
watching him..
Feeling a sensation familiar to the day he met Ath- his ex mentor, he lifted his head and looked around, a hand resting at the hilt of his sword ready to face another threat, only issue was once again he wasn’t prepared
just like with the Cyclops-
A giggle could be heard behind a series of different trees, as if whatever was hiding was moving through them in quick succession, circling him as if he were prey
The only sign of movement being the way the air currents moved abnormally as if something unnaturally fast was cutting through the air
His thoughts were interrupted when he heard a voice from above a tree
“I must say what a brilliant speech you gave..”
The mortal immediately swung out his sword from its hilt the moment he heard the voice, with an uncertain tone he asked
“who goes there?..”
Suddenly it felt as if the figure was behind him and he felt the air change
“Just a friend.. who could help you save your men…” they whispered closer now, as if whispering the most important information in the world to his ear, yet he still felt as if the figure was also in front of him, or maybe even surrounding him
“A foe like Circe, nots to be messed with-
When the figure’s hands settled onto his shoulders he swerved and found nothing behind him except an updraft of air
“You want to beat her? You’ll need the blessing of a certain God”
Lifting his head upwards he found the figure floating above him, barely recognizable due to how the sun’s light behind them blinded Odysseus’s eyes and obscured the figure’s features
“Divine intervention” the figure reached and squished Odysseus’ cheeks
“Someone who’s not afraid to..
Send a message” they grinned as they lowered themselves and Odysseus’s view away from the sun revealing that the figure was Hermes, the God of trickery currently squishing his face as if fooling around with him
“Hermes..?” Odysseus inquired, only slightly muffled as his face was held in the God’s arm, said God could easily snap his neck if he wished to, making the mortal both nervous yet calmed down as the God had done nothing but mess with him a bit…for now
Hermes belted out a fantastical yet eerie laugh as he floated away from Odysseus, freeing his face and allowing the man to rub the spots the God pinched as if he were a child (which wasn’t too inaccurate due to the large gap in age between the two)
“ aren’t you tired of trying to talk yourself out of problems?” The god asked with a humorous tone
Odysseus stayed silent and narrowed his eyes, quite hypocritical of the Trickster God with an even worse tongue than Odysseus
The God seemed to have either ignored the look or not have cared because he continued anyways “ Don’t you wish to go ape shit as they say centuries in the future?”
That last part confused Odysseus, causing him to raise a finger with questions on his mind “wha-?”
“Never mind that silly!” He said triumphantly before pulling out a plant from his… does he even have pockets?..no wait he has a bag (silly narrator)
“Anyways eat this flower because Circe can easily Gaslight, Gate keep and Girl boss her way into defeating you and probably eating you afterwards since she tends to turn most men into the pigs..” he trailed off
“-I mean free protein am I right?” Hermes blabbed, using terms he learnt from things Apollo told him about the future and the need to test these words on a random mortal which just so happened to be this one who likely was already traumatized by the Gods
His words seemed to have the desired affect as Odysseus stared in pure bewilderment, his Ancient Greek mind unable to comprehend what a “Gate keep” or “Girl boss” was
Hermes, feeling silly imparted some knowledge
“Girl boss is basically what your wife is”
Odysseus droned an O in understanding,
his wife was so amazing
and cool
and good with a spear just as she was with a needle
and…
-oh GODS HE MISSES HIS WIFE
Odysseus’ knees gave away and he fell to the ground his sword forgotten as he was overcome with thoughts of Penelope, unaware or maybe unashamed of the fact that he said that last part out loud
Hermes floated down near the sad sad -missing his wife and child- man with a unintelligible smile
“There there we’ll get you to your badass wife and child you helped procreate if….
You take these definitely not drugs :D”
Odysseus looked up from the ground to the God with tired eyes
“How will I know that won’t kill me?”
Hermes yelled out a hardy laugh that sometimes sounded like a horse idk why it just does (especially in dangerous)
“Oh you silly mortal, I wouldn’t off a bit of my bloodline just like that” he said with a flip of his hand
“Wait what-“ Odysseus attempted to respond before being cut off
“Oh! I’m bored so
How about this!”
He reached into his messenger bag and pulled out an odd metal looking object with little wings on it’s sides like his shoes before pulling the back part causing it to make a double clicking sound
“I give you this special power snack AND a very dangerous item out of this time period! Bet none of the other Gods thought of doing this yet!” He said as if trying to one up himself with the most wildest ways to screw up the timeline
Odysseus blinked before shrugging and holding out his hands to take this… ‘flower’ and weird metal thing that didn’t even have any sharp point to stab someone with
Hermes happily plopped the flower and weapon into the mortal’s hands
“ don’t worry the knowledge of how to use the weapon will come in alongside all the other stuff you get from the flower, although you should be able to remember anyhow when the affects wear off”
And With that the mortal munched down on the flower
“Oh and I call this one ‘Holy Moly’” was the only thing Hermes said before Odysseus’ body got flooded with power, burning in his veins like a rush, something he needed after 9 days of staying awake and not getting any sleep even after that since he had to lead the one boat they had left
Suddenly his mind burst with new information about the item Hermes gave him, it was called ‘Gun’ and this one was able to magically reload infinite ammunition. He wasn’t sure what the tiny white wings on its sides were for though.
“Come on! Let’s go on a test drive!” Hermes shouted before picking Odysseus up like a wet cat and lifting him into the air, the tiny wings on the Gun flapping although never given the chance to fly as Odysseus practices using the Gun by shooting the trees
Golden bullets accompanied by loud bangs (that may have caused Odysseus to flinch the first few times) rained from above as Hermes held Odysseus in the air by his pits while he aimed the gun with tiny wings matching the God that gave him the weapon when he got bored and wanted to screw with the cannon
Odysseus laughed in glee (that edged towards manic) as his archery skills came in handy when it came to aiming, seeing several holes made in the trees they decided to use as target practice
Eventually Hermes hovered back to the ground and placed his (hopefully not trigger happy) great grandson down with him
“Welp! You’re ready to deal with her now :D” Hermes said whilst ruffling Odysseus’s already messy hair that had been put to disarray outside in the air
Odysseus looked at Hermes with appreciation
“Hermes,
thank you”
Hermes shrugged like this was normal to give a gun to someone in Ancient Greece before becoming serious and holding the mortal by the shoulders “just make sure to NEVER give it to someone else or they die!”
“Wha-“
Hermes then pulled back and proceeded to act like nothing happened “Now don’t thank me friend for you very well may also die”
He gave a little wave as he ascended to the skies whilst spinning
“Bye bye! :D”
Odysseus stared at the spot Hermes ascended forming a question in his mind
“How in hades did he pronounce those smiles..?”