Chapter Text
"Married?”
One word and 2 syllables had never felt so sour on his tongue. Rin could only stare with his jaw slack at the dimly illuminated screen in front of him, where—to his horror—that antennae freak was holding up his older brother’s hand by the wrist.
Left hand, specifically. Rin blinked a few times, wondering if the circular metal band resting comfortably on Sae’s finger was real or just his imagination, until the taunting glint of the ring snapped him back to reality.
"Woah there, Rin-Rin. You might lock your jaw if you grit your teeth any harder,” Shidou cooed mockingly, snickering at Rin’s aghast face. The latter scoffed at the remark, watching as Sae pulled his hand away from boyfriend—no, fiancé—and shook his head, “stop provoking him, you’re both grown men.”
Okay. This was a lot of shit to process.
Truthfully, Rin didn’t hate the idea of his brother and Shidou getting married. He wouldn’t ever admit it out loud (or he wouldn’t ever live it down due to a certain somebody) but perhaps he could tolerate the pink cockroach occasionally, albeit his presence was the equivalent to having a fly constantly buzzing in your ear. How ironic, he really does live up to the whole insect-related nickname agenda Rin started.
“You really said yes? To him?” Rin finally asked after a long beat of silence. It was a genuine question because in all fairness, his brother tended to go along with any of Shidou’s debauched antics and he cared about Sae. A lot. Marriage isn’t something that’s done on a whim, it’s a lifelong commitment and a show of devotion—he couldn’t help but worry.
Rin grumbled. Then again, Shidou’s probably the only person that Sae tolerated other than Rin himself. Of course, Rin and Sae still had their own traditions that stayed exclusive just to them but over the course of their relationship, Shidou had wormed his way into their routine; Sae moved out of their shared apartment and bought a place with Shidou , the occasional phone calls he had with his brother ended up with Rin hanging up because Shidou would always interrupt, and hangouts quickly turned into dates between his brother and Shidou. Even the mere mention of his name was enough to make Rin click his tongue and scoff.
They’d already been dating for a few years (if anything, Rin’s surprised Shidou didn’t pop the question 3 days into the relationship), so was it really something worth stressing over?
Plus, it’s not like Shidou was asking for his blessing. In fact, that was the last thing he’d do—even if you were to venture across the fucking multi-verse and find a universe where the antennae-freak at least had the decency to inform Rin beforehand, he would’ve done as he pleased regardless of the latter’s answer. Tepid.
Rin stopped pinching the bridge of his nose, though he wished he hadn’t because the minute his vision was no longer obstructed he saw Shidou pan the camera away from Sae and to himself, his usual stupid grin plastered along his face, “why the confusion? You jealous, Rin-Rin?” Shidou taunted, wiggling his eyebrows stupidly in an attempt to piss Rin off (which worked, unfortunately).
“The last person I’d be jealous of is you, you fucking insect,” Rin spat, though his words had no impact because Shidou simply grinned, shoving the camera in his face and mock-pouting, “boo-hoo, underlashes junior! Last time I checked I’m the one who’s about to get married, whilst you’re rotting away in your apartment with no friends, nothing happy going for you,” he paused to pan the camera to Sae again, “and nobody there for you.”
The younger man’s eye twitched at the sneer on the other end of the line, though he was the least bit thankful that instead of the blond roach on his screen, it was his brother glancing sideways at the former with a look of disinterest, muttering a “knock it off, Ryusei” that sounded a little too fond.
“You don’t know shit about me, bumbling-antennae.”
Shidou laughed, angling the phone so his face was peeking from the side. “It’s a fair assumption, no?”
What the fuck would this asshole know? He got engaged less than 20 minutes ago and he’s already acting superior? Fuck, it’s not like Rin was dating anyone anyway, but he’d rather die than let Shidou have the upper hand.
“Doesn’t look like you’ll be needing a plus one then, Rin-Rin! I’ll be sure to note that—”
Rin doesn’t know what prompted him to say what he said next.
“Not that it’s any of your business, but I actually do have somebody.”
Silence. Shidou halted, the words dying in his throat as he stared at the camera. It clearly caught Sae’s attention too as his eyes immediately shot up to look at Rin, momentarily stunned before slowly asking, “you’re dating someone? Why didn’t you mention it?”
Well, shit. The fleeting silence was long enough to let Rin internally curse himself out for: one, letting that stupid roach get under his skin, and two, lying about something so fucking stupid. He couldn’t just take it back now because then he’d have to deal with Shidou ridiculing him for the next 3 months, not to mention Sae telling him how it’s ‘lukewarm’ in that galling tone—like a parent reprimanding their child.
“It hadn’t been long enough to consider it as something serious,” he spoke, the lie flaring on his tongue like venom as he tried to sound as natural as possible, “plus you never asked.”
It seemed to have worked because Shidou’s brief shock was immediately replaced with that familiar infuriating leer as he immediately sat up, getting all close to the camera.
“Somebody managed to swoon our Rin-Rin?! Do tell, is it someone we know? When can we meet them?” Rin’s eyebrows furrowed, moving the phone back because Shidou somehow managed to invade his personal space even through a fucking screen.
“If you keep asking stupid questions, you won’t meet them at all,” Rin scoffed, mentally praying that the universe would be on his side for once and let the conversation continue in his favour, or even better, maybe not continue at all.
Sae snatched the phone out of Shidou’s hand, staring into the screen like he was trying to study Rin’s face for any disparities, as if he was trying to catch him red-handed.
“Huh. Well, I’m happy for you. I don’t think you’ve ever told me about any of your relationships, or even been in one,” his brother hummed, “I hope it’s serious enough for you to invite them to the wedding in a month.”
Rin nearly choked. “A month?! How the fuck are you going to plan a wedding in a month?” How the fuck was he going to find someone willing to pretend to date him for an unprecedented amount of days?
The red-head shrugged. He heard Shidou say something along the lines of ‘YOLO’ to which Sae rolled his eyes at, fondly, much to Rin’s confusion (and disgust…? Seriously, the last thing he wanted to see was his brother in love—with that weirdo especially).
“Doesn’t matter. You should get going now, you look like you might start growing grey hairs if we keep dumping more information on you,” Sae sounded amused, almost. Yeah, real fucking funny. Rin wanted to punch something.
Shidou grabbed the phone and tilted it so he was in frame. “Later, Rin-Rin! Can’t wait to meet your special somebody,” he grinned, the sing-song tone only adding fuel to the fire as Rin was still trying to grasp at the fucking situation he got himself in.
A month. Well, Rin could just lie. He could say it wasn’t as serious as he thought it was and that he decided to end it. Or perhaps things just didn’t work out. Fuck, he couldn’t—he’d just be proving both Sae and Shidou right. But how the fuck was he going to find someone willing to date him? Rin wasn’t about to apologise for the way he treated people; everyone around him just happened to be either lukewarm or fucking half-baked, but perhaps he could be a little bit of a jackass sometimes.
The incessant beeping sound of the call ending brought Rin back to the horrible reality he’d brought upon himself. Not one singular person—candidate, rather—came to mind. Everyone was either too annoying or weren’t good enough for him to even consider acting like he was in love with them, the thought making Rin visibly cringe.
Until one person came to mind.
One specific, agitating, and most definitely infuriating face that caused Rin to slightly clench his fists and mutter a curse under his breath. No, he was not being fucking dramatic—nobody has ever pissed him off as much as he did. But Rin wouldn’t ever consider anyone else his rival. Ever. Even if it was just academically, they’d find themselves making everything into a fucking competition.
He was the only person to be able to keep up with Rin, and Rin wouldn’t consider anyone else worthy of even being able to be with him. Romantically. His head fell back as he let out an exasperated sigh, opening his eyes after a crisp moment only to be able to stare at the blank, chalky ceiling that made him feel like he was trapped in the fucking void (he wishes he was).
Shit. There really was no getting out of this.
The university library was filled with hushed chatter and the occasional scraping of chairs as people made their way out to leave or to attend lectures. Rin nodded curtly at the woman sitting at the front desk as he walked past, who offered a small smile in return.
Libraries. Rin didn’t particularly like them, perhaps only at a very specific time when it was empty and too early in the morning for people to have even an ounce of energy to partake in idle chatter. Aside from that, the majority of people that came in here were simply lukewarm shits who had more interest in disrupting the minority who actually wanted to study rather than immersing themselves in a textbook themselves; maybe then they wouldn’t have to frequent the library so much to make up for lost time. It’s a whole fucking cycle, could it even get any more half-baked than that? (yes, it is this serious).
Luckily, it just so happened to be the early morning when hues of copper and vermilion would still be mingling over the horizon. This was the only time he managed to get a sliver of peace as he wasn’t surrounded by NPCs he couldn’t give two shits about.
“Rin?”
Great, he spoke too soon.
Only one person could have a voice that made nails on chalkboard sound like a fucking symphony. Rin reluctantly looked up and saw no-one other than him looking at him slightly wide-eyed like he’d caught Rin red-handed. Why the fuck was he surprised to see him? If anything, he was disturbing Rin’s quiet time and invading his personal space, so maybe he should be the one to fuck off. Tepid loser.
“Isagi,” he grumbled, deciding it was too early for the use of insults—though his opinion quickly changed when Isagi’s face was painted over with that dumbass smile. Stupid Isagi. Stupid fucking sprout-haired loser (was it worth styling his hair like that?). Stupid Isagi and his stupid fucking smile that made Rin feel slightly uneasy for some reason.
For some reason, Isagi took that as an invitation to sit down opposite Rin, settling his backpack down on the seat beside him. He was getting a little too comfortable. Rin decided not to comment on it, he’s learnt that Isagi seems to be gifted at being stubborn anyway. And a lot of other things, which is exactly why Rin dislikes him because he’s the one person who satiated his desire to be unlawfully violent; the latter already pissed Rin off from the moment they met and the fact they seemed to cross paths more than necessary fueled that small bundle of annoyance into a fire that couldn’t be put out no matter what.
Ah, shit. Now he remembered why he was just a little more irritated by the other’s presence. The wedding. Curse his stupid brother and his even stupider, more dumber fiancé—why’d he have to go and lie about something so stupid?
“What are you groaning about?”
The question snapped Rin out of his thoughts because ironically, the subject he was groaning about was quite literally the one asking the question. He sighed, averting his gaze to the view outside because it was a lot more appealing than whatever that half-baked, moronic pile of sludge was pestering him about. Of course, he couldn’t just say everything he was thinking in his head because he had some class at least. “Nothing.”
Isagi raised an eyebrow. “It didn’t seem like ‘nothing’. I could practically hear you grinding your teeth.” Now, Rin was sure he definitely was gritting his teeth. He scoffed, looking Isagi in his eyes and wow, he really was lukewarm. Why was this idiot trying to assess him?
“It’s nothing you could help with, you tepid dumbass,” Rin muttered, moving to close his textbook in front of him because he was almost positively sure that getting away from the sprout-haired larva was his best move.
“I bet I could, come on, hit me!”
“I will if you don’t stop bothering me.” Isagi’s smile dropped, shoulders slumping as his face changed into something pout-like (gross). “Not physically, obviously—are you seriously forgetting I’m older than you?!”
Rin simply looked at Isagi like he’d grown two heads. What better way to conquer an idiot than to make them acknowledge that they’re an idiot? But, shit—he couldn’t deny that perhaps sometimes the other had helped him in shitty situations (not that he’d ever admit that out loud).
At this rate, he had no choice. The wedding was only two weeks away, Isagi was boring a hole into Rin’s face as he waited for a reply, and Rin still hadn’t found a date, and he most definitely wasn’t about to ask anyone to help him with something as lukewarm as that.
“My brother’s getting married to that cockroach in two weeks, and I need a date for the wedding,” Rin mumbled, hoping the words were inaudible so Isagi would say “huh?” in that stupid ass voice, then he’d be able to blame him for not being able to hear properly and promptly take his leave.
Clearly, the odds were not in his favour. Isagi stared at him, a little dumbfounded until he chuckled slightly, and Rin was slowly starting to regret sparing that little bit of honesty with him.
“You need a date for a few hours? That’s it?” Isagi questioned, like it wasn’t something that had been corrupting Rin’s mind since the lie left his mouth and became a permanent consequence he’d be forced to deal with at some point.
Rin just stared at Isagi again, not bothering to spare him a few words questioning what the fuck he was trying to get at, instead quirking a brow and motioning his head for him to continue.
Somehow, he got offended over that, face contorting into something that bore disgust and offence—as if that dumbass had any right to be disgusted—
“If that’s it, then I can help.”
What?
“What?”
Rin didn’t know if he heard the other correctly. Did Isagi just… offer to be his date?
Isagi sighed exasperatedly, “I said I’d be your date for your brother’s wedding. It’s only for a few hours anyway, so there shouldn’t be any hard work.”
This might be the first non-lukewarm thing Isagi might’ve ever done. Shit, Rin didn’t even have to suck up and swallow his pride last minute in order to very reluctantly ask the guy to be his date, it was practically served to him on a fucking platter.
“You’re offering just like that?” Rin probed, the offer seeming too good to be true but he didn’t want to believe it instantly just because Isagi might be fucking with him and he wasn’t about to make a fool of himself.
His question made Isagi stop and think for a second before sheepishly smiling. “ Well… ” Well. This can’t end well. “...I guess it’s only fair if I get something out of it too.”
Great. He was going to ask for something stupid, possibly something so stupid that Rin would have to decline such a perfect fucking offer because this dumb, half-baked larva couldn’t—
“I want you to give me your brother’s math notes.”
Rin really hated doing shitty, pious things because that made him no better than the tepid idiots he was surrounded with—but he couldn’t help the dumbfounded look on his face when he registered Isagi’s request.
“Huh? ” Math notes? Seriously?
“Your brother… he’s a math teacher, right? Dude, I’ve heard he can teach university level math to high school students,” he was waving his hands around to emphasise his point (though he looked like even more of an idiot, of course), “so that’s all I’m asking for. Or else I’m gonna fail this extra economics class I signed up for.”
What a dumbass. “Tepid.” Rin stood up, grabbing his things but not making an attempt to leave just yet, “you don’t even like math. Why’d you go and do something lukewarm like signing up for an economics class?”
It was Isagi’s turn to scoff (who gave him the nerve?), getting up and slamming his hands down on the table, probably to seem intimidating, but it didn’t really work considering he was still four inches shorter than Rin so the sight might’ve actually been slightly laughable; though he wasn’t about to give Isagi the satisfaction of making him lose his poker face that he’d so perfectly managed to maintain.
However, of course the latter had a way of making some things hard. As Rin was too versed in Isagi’s display of dramatics, the shorter leaned forward and was now exceptionally close to Rin’s face—so close that he could feel the slight huff of breath he released (seriously, if that was from whatever lukewarm performance he just put up, he should really work on his athleticism), and so close that he almost got lost in the oceans of cobalt and azure fusing with one another. Those same eyes that were now peering up at Rin, holding him in some sort of trance because for some reason Rin was unable to peel his gaze away, fuck—he was basically being forced to look at Isagi.
“Why’d you go and lie about something so lukewarm like dating somebody?”
Rin couldn’t even bring himself to muster up a response, hell—he couldn’t even bring himself to get pissed off because for some weird, probably lukewarm reason, he couldn’t concentrate on anything but the guy who was way too close for comfort. The guy who was staring at him so smugly Rin should’ve punched him in the face but instead he was focused on the supple crease in the corners of his eyes because of that stupid smile, the way his jaw had softened because it was a genuine smile, and the way—
Rin blinked. Once to register his surroundings, and twice to register his thoughts. Fuck, even thrice to register who those thoughts were in regards to.
That lukewarm dunce.
Fair play, Isagi Yoichi. Rin couldn’t believe he was basically about to be in cahoots with a guy he actually considered his rival. He wondered what Sae would think; nothing out of the ordinary, he’d probably ask him why he was getting involved in such half-baked affairs, and that pink roach definitely couldn’t find out because Rin would never hear the end of it.
“Fine. You’ve got a deal,” Rin turned his head and finally created some distance between him and the other man, taking a few steps before stepping and turning around to spare him one more glance, “if you fuck anything up, I’ll make sure your dumbass pays.”
Naturally, Isagi laughed. “The look on your face when you fuck it up will make this whole thing worth it.”
Rin clenched his jaw before making his way toward the library entrance because he definitely didn’t want to see Isagi’s shit-eating grin plastered on his face.
The awfully dull hallway rejuvenated Rin’s mind and now the horror of whatever the fuck he just agreed to was settling in; contrary to the horror he usually enjoyed, this was more nauseating than thrilling and Rin was starting to realise he had a tendency of making decisions that weren’t so easy to get out of.
Well, he just had to fucking deal with it now. There was no point in worrying about something so lukewarm when the deal was already set in stone, plus this was more of a benefit than whatever corrupt manifestation his mind was forcing him to see—he now had a date and a deal that was easy to fulfill on his end. If anything, Isagi would be the one suffering from this.
Perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad after all, a few hours sounded tolerable at best. Yeah, fuck whoever was doubting him.
Maybe it would be that bad. ‘Bad’ might even be an understatement now. He was the one that might be fucked.
“What do you fucking mean you’re getting married in Spain?”
Sae’s monotonous hum could be heard from the other end of the line, making Rin grit his teeth even harder he was surprised he hadn’t chipped a fucking tooth yet. “The weather’s nicer there.”
“You couldn’t—” The younger was now pacing around his living room, phone clutched with so much fury he was sure there’d be indents in the midst of his palm that were practically a mockery, maybe even a subtle ‘fuck you!’, “—you couldn’t warn me in advance?”
“What the hell would I be warning you about? You’re not paying for anything either, what’re you so annoyed about?” Sae probed because in his defence, Rin’s anger was only justified to him because he was the only one aware of the shit he’d gotten himself in.
Though, right now, he really hated his brother. It was the morning so he knew Sae would be sipping on his gross kombucha (that he drinks salted, is that why his students called him a prick? It’s not like the salt was infecting his brain…) without a care in the world while Rin was going through a midlife crisis and he wasn’t even teetering on the edge of being in the middle of his life.
Rin sighed, squeezing his eyes shut in frustration and pinching the bridge of his nose. “It was just last minute.” not a lie, technically—he was partially annoyed because it was last minute but of course, the main problem was that he’d have to shoulder the responsibility of this whole fake-dating façade for more than just a few hours.
“Right…” Rin could tell his brother was probably raising an eyebrow as he said that, but he decided to be thankful that he could also be dense at times so he probably hadn’t caught onto the slight tinge of distress in his voice—he was glad because he would definitely get berated for that. This was all so lukewarm. “Plus, it’s a free vacation for two weeks.”
“For how long?”
“Two weeks… Rin, did you not get enough sleep?” It sounded like sarcasm but it was most likely a genuine question considering Sae was the one asking it.
Fake dating Isagi Yoichi. For two weeks.
The noose was practically tying itself. Rin was starting to be less appreciative for all of the times he’d managed to escape death. He prided himself on being an all-rounder, being good at literally anything but this was the one thing he didn’t think he’d be able to do. Fuck, he didn’t even fear death. Somehow this seemed worse.
“No—yeah, yeah —I’m fine.” Now that was a lie. He muttered a quick “gotta go” under his breath and ended the call without waiting for Sae’s reply as he threw his phone onto whatever the nearest surface was and was finally able to let out a loud, inflamed sigh.
Great. Perfect. Fucking lukewarm—shitty fate and its wicked conscience that really detested Rin. One week wasn’t enough to mentally prepare himself for whatever torture he was about to be put through. It was too late to back out because the last thing he wanted was to disappoint his brother, even all the snide remarks from that fucking antennae-freak would’ve been tolerable but he didn’t want Sae to look at him like he was a pile of good-for-nothing lukewarm scum.
Yeah, well. He wasn’t about to let life try and beat his ass. Rin was going to make sure the opposite happened, so he could shove this whole matter up its ass and kick it down to the ground.
With a groan, he picked his phone up and tapped his fingers mindlessly before discarding it again and shoving his head into his hands because this was most definitely going to be a long two fucking weeks.
Rin 09:12
shitty loser
we’re going to spain for two weeks. you have a week to pack
Isagi 09:15
I asked you to stop calling me insults over text. In person should be fulfilling enough
Wait
Isagi 09:17
WHAT???