Work Text:
Eddie leaned over the sink to get closer to the mirror. He circled the electric razor over his cheek, contorting and squishing up his face to smooth out his skin as he hit his jaw and chin.
“Brrrring.”
Eddie nearly dropped the razor, catching it as he tripped backwards away from the sink.
Was that the door?
Who the fuck would be at his door? It was 6:30am.
Actually, Eddie shook his head, smiling to himself in realization; it could only be one person.
Buck.
But why?
He returned the razor to his face, going by feel, while he strode to the door.
As he opened it, he said, “Buck, you do remember that we have a shift in just over an hour. Couldn’t it have waited?”
“No,” Buck answered in a flurry of movement. He stormed through the door, arms laden down with a cardboard box full of individually wrapped loaves of bread and plastic containers full of cookies. He weaved around the furniture, heading straight to the kitchen, where he began to unpack the box.
Eddie followed him, continuing to leisurely shave his face. He leaned against the door jamb and watched Buck move around his kitchen with ease.
On the surface, he seemed fine. He wore dark blue trousers, a cream sweater, and a zip-up dark red jacket. He had on his white sneakers, and he’d tamed his wild curls with a considerable amount of gel, which, not for the first time, Eddie thought was a shame.
A closer look, though, showed dark circles under his eyes—weary, distant eyes. His confident movements putting items away masked an anxious tremor in his hands, and if nothing else had given it away, his silence was deafening.
Buck kept swallowing and chewing on the inside of his mouth like he wanted to speak but couldn’t.
He was having another bad day.
This had been going on for months—the baking, the constant movement, the disappointment redirected into action. Buck never took break-ups well, but this one lingered.
Normally, Eddie would make a joke to pull him out of his funk, but that clearly wasn’t what he needed right now.
So Eddie recalibrated. He finished shaving and clicked the razor off, gripping it lightly in his hand.
“Still, Buck?” he asked softly, raising his eyebrows at the mound of baked goods being shoved into his pantry.
“Yes. No. I mean—” Buck stashed the last container of cookies and let the door fall shut. “I relapsed?” he shrugged. “I dunno anymore.” He brushed by Eddie on his way to the living room. “It’s less Tommy now and more being single. Again. On Valentine’s Day. Again.” He plopped onto the couch, kicking his feet up onto the coffee table. “Interminably.” He threw his head back on the cushion. “Permanently.” His eyes slid closed in defeat. “Eternally.”
“Those are some pretty big words for this early in the morning, Buck.”
“Doesn’t count. I’ve been up for hours. I have all the adverbs at my disposal.”
“Hmmm.” Eddie frowned down at his friend, partly trying to figure out how best to help and partly struggling to remember what an adverb was. Were those the descriptive words or the ones that ended in L-Y? Buck’s vast knowledge of random topics never ceased to amaze him.
Eddie walked behind the couch and placed a hand on Buck’s shoulder, giving him a reassuring squeeze. “Did you bring anything we could split for breakfast?”
“Banana bread,” he said, opening his eyes. “It’s already set out on the table.”
“Okay. Let me handle this,” he held up the razor, “And then I’ll grab us some coffee and breakfast.”
The light returned briefly to Buck’s eyes as he smiled teasingly up at Eddie. “You may also want to put on a shirt.”
“Oh. Yeah.” Eddie’s hand flew to his bare chest. He hadn’t even realized. “Well, you did come over while I was getting ready, so you must suffer the consequences.”
“No suffering here, believe me, but don’t think I haven’t noticed that this is the second time you’ve answered your door half naked. Do you make a habit out of it?”
“Fuck off. Only when it’s you–” Eddie stopped there, realizing how that had sounded and not sure how to back track.
Buck skipped over his awkwardness entirely–bless him–and continued teasing him, “So, does that mean I’m not worthy of putting clothes on for, or…”
“Oh for–” Eddie grabbed a pillow from the couch and threw it at his face. Buck caught it, grinning widely, his genuine, happy smile.
Who knew that a conversation about Eddie’s nakedness would cheer him up so quickly!
“You know very well, Buck, that you see me in all variations of undress at work, so if I know it’s you at the door, I don’t need to stress about throwing on some pants last minute.” Or, thought Eddie, like today, when I was so focused on you, I didn’t even realize I was shirtless.
“Sure.” Buck threw the pillow back. “Go put some clothes on, so we can have breakfast.”
“Yes, sir,” Eddie responded, snapping a sharp salute.
Buck’s mouth twitched, and Eddie bolted out of the room laughing, the other couch pillow catching him on his ankle as he turned the corner.
“Asshole,” he yelled over his shoulder.
“Exhibitionist!” Buck called back.
Eddie couldn’t stop smiling, not when he put on his LAFD t-shirt, not when he poured two cups of coffee, not when he added hazelnut oat milk creamer to Buck’s cup, not when he sliced the loaf in half to share.
Without Chris, mornings were quiet, depressing affairs. Even Buck’s heartbreak was a welcome break from the monotony. Who would have thought he’d miss spilled milk or teenagers who refused to get out of bed; yelling at Chris to hurry or they’d be late? Life without Chris was bland.
The only bright spots were when he was at the firehouse with his friends or when Buck came over. Like now.
Placing a plate of banana bread on top of each mug, he carried their breakfast over to the couch. Buck took the plates and set them on the coffee table before grabbing his mug with a hearty, “Oh thank you.”
“I thought you were out of my creamer,” he said after taking a sip.
“I was,” Eddie answered, sitting down next to him. “I went to the store yesterday and grabbed some then.”
“You’re the best!”
Eddie hummed in response, and they sat quietly, sipping their coffee and nibbling at the bread.
Eventually, after fortifying himself with caffeine, Buck said, “It’s just– I’m tired, you know. Dating is exhausting. Searching is exhausting. Having to be on all the time is exhausting. And then, being dumped and alone, again, is exhausting. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.”
“What do you mean being on?”
“Oh, you know, best behavior stuff, not scaring them off, trying to get them to like you. You know…that.”
Eddie gaped because…oh Buck, no! He opened his mouth to speak, paused to give himself time to properly phrase his thoughts, and then tried again. “Isn’t the purpose of dating to see if you and another person are compatible? I’m by no means an expert here. You know my disastrous dating history. But, maybe it’s exhausting because you shouldn’t need to be on your best behavior. They should like you for you, both good and bad days.”
Buck huffed, rolling his eyes. “Of course I do. Remember, ‘women flee me’ and now apparently so do men.” He sighed.
“No,” Eddie said firmly, “That’s bullshit. It just means you haven’t met the right one yet. Remember our first shift together?”
Buck stopped mid-sip to groan into his coffee. “I was horrible.”
“Exactly! You were not on your best behavior, and guess what? I still liked you.”
Buck opened his mouth to protest, and Eddie cut him off. “No. You don’t get to tell me what I was thinking. It took you a while to warm up to me, but I liked you right away. I could guess what was going on in your head and waited. Now look where we are.”
“Yeah, fine, but you don’t count. You’re my best friend.”
“Yeah, and shouldn’t the person you’re dating or even wanting to spend the rest of your life with also love you unconditionally as a friend would?”
“I–” He paused, unable to come up with a proper retort.
“Exactly. Now eat your banana bread. We have to go soon.”
Buck grumbled in answer before picking up his plate, but Eddie could see the smile at the corner of his mouth. Hopefully something had gotten through. Buck deserved all the love in the world, and it didn’t cost Eddie anything to tell him every once in a while.
As Eddie took his last sip of coffee, preparing to stand, Buck broke the silence with a hammer straight to Eddie’s heart.
“Thanks, man, for letting me crash your morning. What am I going to do next Valentine’s Day when you’re not here, and I’m invariably single again?” He’d pasted on a fake smile, but it slipped. He frowned into his empty mug before standing, grabbing the plates from the table, and pulling Eddie’s mug from his frozen hands.
Because Eddie couldn’t move, couldn’t think, couldn’t–
He was shattered.
Broken.
Lying in tiny pieces on the floor.
Because in choosing to follow Chris to El Paso, he was leaving Buck behind.
He was leaving Buck.
Life without Buck? Without his random texts, his goofy presents, his deep voice, his smiles, his heart that was bigger than the sun?
Was that life?
He’d been so focused on Chris, on fucking up with Chris and needing to fix it, that he’d not really thought about what leaving really meant. As it was, he should have already left. He’d meant to. He’d accepted a job at a firehouse and signed the lease for an apartment only two miles away from his parents, but then the Palisades wildfire had happened. He couldn’t, in good conscience, abandon his team during a disaster, especially when they were bringing in firefighters from all over to help.
The plan now was to move most of his belongings into storage at the end of the month and then drive a small U-Haul to Texas with Buck to be ready for move-in on the first of March.
Fuck, he was not only leaving Buck behind, Buck had helped him do it! He knew how much Eddie had missed Chris, how being apart was slowly killing him inside, and he’d stepped up and taken over.
Buck had found the apartment in El Paso. Buck had emailed the job application to Eddie. Buck had found a property manager to maintain his house while he was gone.
…maybe that one had been a little selfish on Buck’s part.
In his heartsick, guilt-ridden, rash brain, Eddie had initially planned to sell his house and buy a new one in El Paso. Buck had talked him down. What if he wanted to come back? What if Chris wanted to return to LA? Should they close that door so permanently? Could he rent instead, maybe make some money renting out his house at the same time?
Buck was fucking brilliant, and Eddie was leaving him.
Buck wanted to know who would be there for him next year? Hell, Eddie wanted to know the same. Without Buck, who was he? Who did he turn to? Buck was the one constant in his life, his rock, always there, always ready to lend a hand, always supportive and thoughtful.
How could he live without Buck?
He could survive, sure. But live?
And yet he was leaving. He’d chosen to leave. He’d chosen Chris. Because he had to. He needed his son. Being separated from him was like being at the bottom of that well again, trapped, clawing for air, hoping to see the light, wanting to hold him just one more time.
Buck knew that and that’s why he’d helped. But now?
It was real.
Eddie was leaving, and worse–
Eddie was another person leaving Buck behind.
As that realization hit him, he inhaled sharply and promptly choked on his own spit. He coughed and coughed, wheezing as he struggled to inhale between explosive coughs. His eyes watered, and his lungs burned, straining for air. Every breath was like inhaling through a waterfall.
Buck raced over and patted him on the back. He spoke into Eddie’s ear, but Eddie couldn’t understand the words, just the encouraging tone.
It took several long minutes, where he couldn’t catch a full breath, of Buck holding him close, encouraging him, before the coughs subsided, and he was able to breathe again.
Buck let him go and was back in an instant with a cup of water. Eddie took a sip, coughed a few more times, and tried again. The process repeated itself until the tickle in his throat finally went away, and he collapsed back on the couch.
“Fuck.”
“Yeah, man, that sounded horrible.”
“Felt worse.”
“I believe it.” Buck patted Eddie’s knee. “You gonna be okay to head in soon? We’re taking a chance with the traffic gods as it is, but too much longer and we’ll be late.”
“Yeah. Yeah. I can…get up.” He rubbed his eyes and slowly got to his feet. “Do you mind driving, though?”
“‘Course not.”
“Thanks, man.” He clapped Buck on the shoulder. Then, moving more gingerly than usual, he walked to the front entrance. He lifted his jacket off of the rack, grabbed his wallet and keys from the table, and opened the door.
“Sure you’re okay?” Buck asked, sliding by him and stealing his keys with a cheeky grin.
“I’m fine. Just shaken up a bit.” Understatement of the year. He felt chewed up and spit out, both physically and emotionally. With a fortifying sigh, he let Buck lock the door and followed him to the truck.
Normally a quiet ride with Buck would have him worrying, but Eddie knew this time it was for him, to let his throat recover. He was grateful. Really. Buck was always so considerate, but–
It gave him way too much time to think.
To think about…
Buck not being with him in El Paso.
Buck staying here.
Having to mend things with Chris without Buck as his wingman.
Being away from Buck.
Buck making new friends. A new best friend? Moving on? Forgetting him?
The thought made his chest ache and his stomach roil. He rubbed his sternum. Could that happen?
No. Buck needed Eddie as much as Eddie needed him. It was part of what Chimney called their “weird codependency.” They’d find a way. Yet–
Since he’d found Eddie house hunting in November, Buck hadn’t said anything negative about his move. He hadn’t tried to talk Eddie out of it. He hadn’t questioned him. He’d shifted all of his frenzied baking energy into helping Eddie get Chris back energy. He’d been completely on board, totally supportive.
Today was the first time Buck had hinted at hidden feelings. He’d dropped the mask of cheerful support Eddie only now realized he’d been wearing. What did he really think? How did he really feel? How was it really affecting him?
Buck had pushed and wheedled and held Eddie’s hand the whole way through all while knowing that he was pushing Eddie away from him.
He’d done it willingly.
He’d put Chris first.
And Eddie loved him for it, and yet it broke Eddie’s heart.
Because Buck always put everyone else first.
Did anyone put Buck first?
No one ever had and that was one of the main reasons why Buck had come over that morning, seeking comfort from Eddie.
Eddie couldn’t put him first either, though, especially now, but he wanted to. He wished he could because it should be him. Who better than his best friend? There wasn’t anyone else, and Eddie realized, pausing the hand on his chest as he lifted his eyes to look over at his friend, he didn’t want it to be anyone else.
Because Buck was his.
Buck prioritizing him and Chris made Eddie’s chest glow contentedly. Buck coming to him when he was upset or sad pushed that glow down into his stomach where it performed slow cartwheels. Buck being there for every major event of the last six years–showing up, helping, burrowing his way into their family bit by bit until he was such an intrinsic part of it Eddie hadn’t even noticed–punched its way into his heart.
He sure as fuck was noticing now. Buck was family. He, Chris, and Eddie were a family.
He loved Buck. They loved Buck.
Who would take care of Buck while he was gone? Who would be there for him when he got too stuck in his head? Who would watch him to be sure that he wasn’t wallowing?
The fleeting thought of maybe he’ll find a new boyfriend or girlfriend passed through Eddie’s mind, and it was immediately followed by revulsion. The very idea made him sick to his stomach.
No.
He absolutely did not want Buck to find someone new.
But…why?
Eddie looked more closely at Buck, letting his eyes roam freely. Buck gripped the steering wheel lightly, tapping his palms to the beat of the music while he sang along under his breath, his head bobbing to the beat.
Eddie smiled fondly at him, and his gaze traveled further down, sloping over broad shoulders and a deep chest before catching on thighs that nearly burst out of his trousers. Buck was thick. Eddie had always noticed the length of his legs, but today he was mesmerized by the bulging muscles visible beneath the stretched fabric, wondering what they could do.
An electric shock sparked from his stomach all the way to his toes.
A vague image of Buck in uniform popped into Eddie’s mind, and visions of enormous biceps erupting out of his sleeves, of buttons nearly popping across his chest, of long legs, encased in pants far too tight, of a cinched waist dropping into a delicious ass danced across his imagination. He knew that ass. He had definitely checked out that ass before.
It was a nice ass. Buck was a beautiful man. But, why was he just noticing it now? Or at least, consciously noticing?
The urge to reach over and touch Buck came over him so suddenly that he jolted, stomping his foot against the truck floor as his head hit the back rest.
“You okay, man?”
“Yeah. Yeah,” Eddie answered. “Just one of those weird shivers.”
“Oh, sorry, here.” Buck reached for the temperature controls and cranked the heat with a smile.
Eddie meant to smile back, but it slipped because he got distracted. Buck’s hand was so big! How had he never noticed? His eyes tracked the shifting muscles and veins as Buck adjusted the dials, taking in his thick fingers and broad palm.
Heat curled against his skin, making him hot all over, and Eddie didn’t know if it was because of the higher temperature or Buck’s heady presence. He did, though, with an act of extreme effort stop himself from reaching out when Buck returned his hand to the steering wheel.
He fisted his hands and placed them in his lap. This was ridiculous!
He’d wanted to touch his best friend before, but not like this.
It wasn’t just the desire to put a friendly hand on his forearm. No, he wanted to caress Buck’s cheek with his fingertips, scratch at the stubble, and then run his hands through his hair. He didn’t want to clap him firmly on the shoulder. He wanted to trail his palms across the breadth of his chest, around his shoulders on either side, down his back, over the curve of his waist, and up the softness of his stomach to repeat the process again and again.
He wanted to kiss that tender crease on his cheek that appeared when he smiled, and he wanted to press his face into Buck’s neck, taste his skin, and breathe in his familiar scent. He wanted to crawl into Buck’s lap, the steering wheel and traffic and work be damned, and kiss him full on the mouth. He wanted–
Eddie blinked.
Oh shit.
He loved Buck.
And he was moving to Texas.
Fuck.
He tore his eyes away from Buck and gazed out the window.
Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.
What could he offer Buck if Buck even wanted him back?
Not much. He still needed to get his shit together, reconcile with his son, and figure out their next steps as a family.
He could make no promises about the future. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt Buck.
But considering how disappointed Buck was about Valentine’s Day and how much he truly believed he was unlovable, wouldn’t it be better to tell him? To fill that void and show him just how much he was loved? And not just as a friend but as something infinitely more dear?
Then again, did he want to put Buck in the awkward position of having to turn him down if he didn’t feel the same? Was that fair to him? To put their relationship on such odd footing right before he left?
Eddie had no idea what to do. While the reality of being attracted to Buck was new, the desire to be with him and love him was not. It wasn’t a long leap from loving him as his favorite person to loving him as his favorite person whose jaw he wanted to bite and lick.
Of course he loved Buck.
Of course he was attracted to Buck.
Because Buck was hot. He was Buck.
And Buck was everything.
Eddie flicked his eyes back to Buck, the corner of his mouth flickering when he caught him shimmying his shoulders to the music. He was too damn adorable for words.
What the hell should he do?
***
Eddie chewed on it the rest of the way to work. He ruminated on the couch in the loft. He weighed his options as he tried not to stare at Buck in the engine, and he second-guessed himself in the shower where he pointedly did not think of Buck being in the shower next to him.
His only saving grace was that he and Buck had filled out a mixed shift of unattached firefighters. He didn’t have to act natural under Hen’s piercing gaze or Chimney’s teasing smile. Bobby wasn’t watching him with his all-knowing eyes.
They were all off doing couple-y things, couple-y things Eddie now knew he’d like to do with Buck.
Someday.
Today.
Every day.
Fuck, he had it bad.
Buck threw him questioning looks throughout the shift but overall didn’t pry. The last time he caught Eddie staring at him–in the gym, no less, ugh, but he was only human–all Buck did was give him a piercing look that clearly meant we’ll talk about it later.
True to his word he waited until they were safely locked back in Eddie’s house the next morning before turning to him and asking, “Okay, what’s going on? You were zoned out all shift, and if you’re not careful, that worry line between your eyebrows is going to be permanent. Is it something to do with Chris?”
Eddie huffed out a single laugh. Of course Buck’s first instinct would be to worry about Christopher. “No, Buck. It’s not about Chris.” Eddie took a step closer to him, wringing his hands nervously. “I’m trying to decide whether to tell you something.”
“Tell me what?”
Eddie frowned, still unsure. Nothing he said would ruin their relationship, but it could make the upcoming separation awkward.
Buck crossed his arms. “Eds, c’mon. It must really be bothering you. You’ve been stuck in your head ever since your coughing fit.”
“Yeah, well, I realized something, which made me choke on my spit, and it’s been a bit of a downward spiral since then.” He adjusted his watch before looking back up at a concerned Buck. “So yeah, lots of thinking.”
“I thought it was my job to spiral out?”
“Pfft. Only when it’s not my turn. We both know I do plenty of spiraling.”
“Hm. So what’s the problem?”
“I’m leaving.”
Buck snapped to attention like he’d been slapped, and his gaze slammed into Eddie’s, his eyes wary and sad. “I’m aware.” He said it without inflection, but Eddie knew it was just to mask his feelings.
“I’m leaving you.”
Buck took a startled step back, running into the back of the couch. “I know. I mean– You’re leaving us all.”
“No, that’s–” Eddie reached for him, hands gripping his shoulders. “You’re the one I’m worried about.”
“Don’t worry about me, Eddie,” he said, looking off to the side, “I’ll be fine. I always am.”
“Fuck that!” Eddie said with more force than he meant.
“Wha–”
Eddie took a step closer, putting them not quite chest to chest, but close. “Buck, I hate that you feel alone and unloved ever, let alone on Valentine’s day. I hate that you feel like you have to keep searching for someone who will love you.”
“I don’t under–”
“Because that means I didn’t do a good enough job! You’re my family, Buck. My partner. I’m not just leaving my best friend behind, I’m leaving someone infinitely more precious, and I hate that. I don’t want to leave. I don’t want to leave you. Our family is incomplete right now, and we’re all miserable. But, when I get to El Paso, our family will still be incomplete. We’ll still be miserable. Because we need you to be whole. Both of us. Chris needs you, and I…need you.” Eddie took a breath. “We love you.”
“Eddie…”
“I don’t know what the future holds, but I know you’re in it.” He squeezed his shoulders, shaking him a little for emphasis. “I don’t know how long we’ll be gone, if and when we’ll come back, or if we’ll somehow convince you to move to Texas; but I do know that I can’t live without you.”
“Ed-die,” Buck whined.
“I can’t, Buck. I’ll take you however I can get you, whether that’s via FaceTime or living together, as your best friend or something…more, here or in Texas. It doesn’t matter.”
“More…”
“I’ll come back for you. Somehow. We’ll figure it out.”
“Eddie,” Buck said, stopping Eddie’s verbal vomit with a firm hand on his chest, “You said ‘more.’”
“Yeah, you don’t have to worry about that. I said however I can have you.”
“No. No. Eddie.” Buck’s voice turned deadly serious. “What kind of more do you mean? More, like I’m helping you raise Chris as your best friend? More like we’re roommates? Or more, like romantic more?”
“Any, all. I told you, I’ll take–”
Eddie never finished his sentence because Buck’s large hands grabbed him at the waist and tugged him forward. Their lips touched, and Eddie’s mind calmed for the first time in twenty-four hours.
It was only a soft press of lips, followed by Eddie’s shocked inhale, but it was perfect.
If he hadn’t been sure before, he was now. All of his anxiety melted away, his fears assuaged by the rush of emotion swirling in his chest, threatening to overflow in a cascade of certainty.
Buck was it for him.
He smiled, placing a tentative hand on Buck’s chest, his fingers curling to clutch at his shirt.
Buck’s eyes fluttered open, worry and awe fighting for prominence as his mouth opened nervously. “Was that…okay?” he asked.
“Very okay, Buck.”
Buck slumped against him with a sigh, his forehead falling into Eddie’s shoulder. “God, Eddie, really?”
Eddie’s smile bloomed even wider, and he pressed it into Buck’s hair. He lifted his hand to cup the back of Buck’s neck and hold him close.
“How long, Buck?”
“Always, a few months ago, forever, yesterday. I don’t know. It’s always been there.”
Eddie chuckled. “I feel the same way. I’m sorry it took me so much longer, though.”
Buck shuffled closer and wrapped Eddie in a tight hug, turning his head to press a soft kiss on Eddie’s neck.
Lips brushing against his skin, Buck said, “When you realize you’re bi as an adult, you start looking back at your life, your decisions, and your interactions with people, analyzing them based on this new info.” He stood tall and leveled Eddie with a steady gaze. “It didn’t take me long to realize that my initial reaction to you was a bit…”
“Ridiculous?” Eddie suggested with a crooked grin.
Buck huffed out a laugh and shook his head. “That. And…I mean. You are so hot, Eddie. I confused attraction with jealousy, which I’ve since learned happens a lot.”
Eddie’s heart fluttered joyfully, practically soaring at Buck’s declaration, like he didn’t already know that Buck loved him. It was different, though. He’d always known Buck loved him as a friend, but now he knew it ran deeper than that. And it made his soul sing.
“It wasn’t until after Tommy that I figured it out, though. Knowing I was attracted to you was easy. Trying to sort out my exact feelings? Not so much.”
“I think it’s just you,” Eddie said softly, brushing his fingers against the stubble along his jaw.
“Huh?”
Taking Buck’s face in his hands, he brushed their lips together again, a gentle kiss that made him ache for more. He ignored the temptation to dive back in, instead pulling back and meeting Buck’s gaze. “It’s you. Just you. You’re the only relationship I’ve put any real effort into since Shannon. You’re my partner. My favorite person. My best friend. Hell, you’re Chris’s best friend. You’re the person I go to for comfort and when I have a problem, the first person I go to with good news...or bad. Chris and I spend as much time with you as we can, and honestly I don’t think I would have survived the last year without you.”
“Aw, Eddie–”
“No, seriously. You’ve been there for me in so many ways, not just since Chris left, but always, and I’m the guy who doesn’t like to accept help. Yet, I’ll accept it from you.” He brushed a thumb across Buck’s cheekbone and gave him a wobbly smile. “Because you’re special. You’ve always been special, and I’m sorry that it took me leaving you behind to realize that, what that really meant. We could’ve–”
“Shh, shh, Eddie, no.”
“I love you, Buck.”
Buck froze, his mouth open in shock.
“I love you. I don’t know what’s going to happen in Texas or with Chris, but I can promise you that we won’t be apart for good. If you’ll wait for me…”
Buck unfroze in a whirl of motion. They were already standing close, but somehow Buck’s whole body came to life and enveloped him. His eyes shone. His cheeks split apart in an incandescent smile. His arms looped back around Eddie in a fierce hug, this time thrusting one of his hands into Eddie’s hair to guide their lips together.
Gone were the soft, tentative kisses. Eddie met Buck with equal fervor, and they kissed like they could make up for six lost years in a single moment. Buck tasted of stale coffee and hazelnut creamer, but Eddie didn’t care.
Buck’s lips pillowed his own, and their tongues slid together like velvet, his mouth a fountain Eddie could drink from forever. They kissed, demanding, loving, needy. They breathed in short gasps and pants that barely filled their lungs. They broke apart only long enough to adjust and dive back in, their tongues finding one another like long-lost soulmates.
It was beautiful.
It was perfect.
Eddie let go of Buck’s face, and, lifting up onto the balls of his feet, he wrapped his arms around Buck’s neck. Buck adjusted for his weight, leaning back against the couch and pulling Eddie in between his legs.
Eddie’s body had already responded to kissing Buck, flushing hot and sending an aching desire to his groin that pulsed with want; but now, with their hips flush together, grinding against one another of their own accord, that ache caught on fire, and Eddie moaned into Buck’s mouth, trying ineffectually to get closer, as if he could climb into him.
Buck responded with a groan of his own, and one of his hands dropped to Eddie’s ass, cupping one cheek to use as leverage.
They kissed and kissed, exploring one another with mouths and hands. Minutes or hours later, who knew, they separated to breathe. Buck’s lips were puffy and swollen, the skin around his mouth red from Eddie’s stubble. Eddie’s tired tongue was heavy in his mouth, but all he could do was stare at Buck’s lips, ready to dive in again.
“I love you, too, you know,” Buck said between panting breaths.
“I know.”
“I mean, I love you.”
Eddie smoothed his palms across Buck’s chest. “I know, Buck, and I love you.”
“Fuck, Eddie, I don’t think I’ll ever tire of hearing you say that.”
“You might. I plan to tell you every day. All the time.”
Blushing bashfully, Buck shook his head. “Still won’t happen.”
“Give me time.”
“I can’t wait.”
At that, Eddie laughed and shoved both hands against Buck’s chest, knocking him over the back of the couch. Buck let out a surprised squawk as he hit the cushions. Then, with a joyful grin, he wriggled back to lay across the couch. Eddie crawled over after him, settling himself on top of him.
They made out like teenagers for hours, napping in between to catch up on sleep, but always waking again in each other’s arms, ready to kiss and touch some more.
Eddie was in heaven.
He didn’t know what the future held, but he did know, that when Buck flew back to LA after driving to Texas with him, they were not over. They’d call and talk and share like always, and eventually they’d come up with a plan. They’d get their family back together, and they’d face the future together, like they always had. Only now, Eddie was aware of it.