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Soobin wasn’t gay. He’d never been into men, never found them attractive or even thought about dating them. Not once in his life. He’d always been into women and he’d already had multiple girlfriends by the time he got to college.

So why was it that Soobin was so obsessed with the new male student?  

Choi Beomgyu was new to Soobin’s university in Seoul. He’d apparently come from Daegu, and he was very shy. He didn’t have any friends, and other students tended to avoid him because, well…he was openly gay. He dressed very prettily and always had glittery eyeshadow, blush, and lip gloss on. He smelled like sweet peonies and looked like a doll with fluffy brown hair and big brown eyes. His figure was small and petite, and god, Soobin couldn’t stop thinking about that man. 

He had to keep reminding himself everyday that he wasn’t gay. Absolutely not. He loved women. Only women.

Being gay wasn’t very accepted at the university, or really anywhere in Korea. Although some people had become more accepting, a majority still mocked and ridiculed those who weren’t straight. Beomgyu was unfortunately a victim of this, and even Soobin’s own friends often made rude comments about Beomgyu every now and then.

So Soobin kept his obsession with Beomgyu to himself. He convinced himself that it was just because Beomgyu looked very feminine that Soobin found him pretty. 

Soobin did his best to avoid Beomgyu on campus. If he was caught staring at the man, Beomgyu might get the wrong idea. But that plan failed when the spring semester of his junior year of college began and Soobin had Beomgyu in his art history class.

“Um, excuse me?” a soft, deep voice said from beside him.

Soobin felt his palms clam up as he slowly turned to look at the pretty man standing beside the desk next to his.

“C-Can I sit here?” Beomgyu stuttered cutely. He was dressed adorable in a baby pink, oversized sweater and light wash jeans. He had a cream-colored bag over his shoulder that he was nervously gripping the strap of. His pink lips were plump and juicy from the sparkly gloss, and he stared at Soobin with his big doe eyes. 

Soobin swallowed thickly. He could smell Beomgyu’s sweet peony perfume. “Uh, sure.” He removed his backpack from the seat beside him and watched as Beomgyu sat down. 

Beomgyu pulled a pink notepad and glittery pink pen from his bag and set it on the desk in front of him.

Soobin watched his every move until he caught himself and quickly looked away. In the corner of his eye, he could see Beomgyu bouncing his leg up and down under the desk. It didn’t occur to Soobin until halfway through the lecture that Beomgyu was probably really nervous. Most people were rude to him, and he might’ve thought Soobin was going to be rude too.

“Your first assignment of the semester will be a partner project,” the professor, Professor Lee, said. 

Soobin was suddenly snapped back to reality. He’d been tuning Professor Lee out before, but it wasn’t his fault. Beomgyu smelled so good and looked annoyingly pretty.  

“We’ll keep this simple, so your partner will be the person sitting beside you,” Professor Lee said.

Soobin froze. So much for avoiding Beomgyu. 

“The assignment isn’t difficult,” Professor Lee continued to say. “Just choose a piece of art from either the eighteenth, nineteenth, or twentieth centuries. Compile a presentation and short paper about the history of the art and artist. A more detailed description of the assignment will be posted to our class page.”

Soobin barely heard Professor Lee’s instructions over the pounding of his heart. He absolutely couldn’t be partners with Beomgyu. Not when Beomgyu looked like a pretty doll and Soobin was secretly obsessed with him. Not when Soobin was supposed to be straight and resisting temptation. God, he needed to find a girlfriend.

“I’ll give you the remaining ten minutes of class to brainstorm with your partners,” Professor Lee said. “Please use this time wisely, since this will be the only class time you get to work on the project.”

The lecture hall erupted into groans and sighs.

Professor Lee wasn’t phased. “Get to work, please,” she said before walking over to her desk. 

Loud conversations broke out throughout the lecture hall. Soobin was frozen in place, staring at the front of the hall where Professor Lee had been standing.

“U-Um, excuse me?”

Soobin slowly turned to look at Beomgyu. 

The pretty man had a worried and slightly insecure look on his face.

Soobin resisted the strong urge to kiss the expression off of Beomgyu’s doll-like face. 

“I-I guess we’re, um, partners,” Beomgyu said. He nervously clicked and unclicked his pen and his leg bounced even faster under the desk. “I-I’m Beomgyu.”

Soobin swallowed thickly. He needed to get it together. Seriously, what was wrong with him? He’d never found a man attractive before. He was still straight.

Soobin cleared his throat. “Uh, right,” he quickly said. “I’m Soobin. Do you have a piece of art in mind that you want to research?”

Beomgyu looked at him with slightly wide eyes. He slowly shook his head.

“Neither do I,” Soobin said, tearing his gaze away from Beomgyu’s doe eyes. “Do you want to meet up so we can do some research? I’m free later today.”

“I-I’m free,” Beomgyu stuttered.

“Cool,” Soobin said. “Wanna meet in the library?”

Beomgyu nodded.

“Okay,” Soobin said. “Oh, we should exchange numbers before we leave class.”

Beomgyu’s eyes widened even more, and his cheeks turned pinker than the blush he had on. “O-Okay…”

Cute, Soobin thought. He immediately shook the thought away. You like women, he reminded himself.  

They exchanged numbers, and class ended shortly after. They planned to meet up around seven o’clock. For some reason, Soobin was feeling very anxious about it. He could barely focus during his remaining classes and ended up pacing around his apartment when he got back. 

He really needed to get it together. There was no way that he was ever going to end up with Beomgyu, who was a man. If he was going to have to work on a project with Beomgyu, he would just have to avoid staring at the man’s pretty face.

He left for the library fifteen minutes before seven, convincing himself that he could keep it together. But when he arrived and found Beomgyu waiting at a table for him, his resolve crumbled. Beomgyu’s doe eyes looked at him innocently and he gave a shy wave.

Soobin took a deep breath and forced a smile on his face, waving back. He walked over and sat down next to Beomgyu. “Hey,” he said. “Ready to get started?”

Beomgyu nodded. 

Soobin pulled out his laptop and set it on the table. “We can start by researching what art piece we want to do,” he said.

“Okay,” Beomgyu said. He looked at his laptop, but took frequent glances at Soobin.

It made Soobin squirm. After a period of insufferable silence, Soobin decided he couldn’t take it anymore.

“I have some ideas,” he blurted out. “Here are some pieces we could do.” He faced his laptop towards Beomgyu.

Beomgyu leaned closer, his eyes scanning the screen.  

Soobin’s nose was filled with peonies. He leaned back to put some distance between them.

Beomgyu must’ve noticed because his cheeks reddened and he instantly leaned back. “U-Um, I’m okay with any of these.” He fiddled with his sweater paws. 

“Okay,” Soobin said. “Let’s go with the painting.”

They spent the next hour researching their chosen painting. It was very awkward, mostly because Beomgyu wouldn’t talk to Soobin unless Soobin asked him a question. Soobin wondered if leaning away from the man earlier had dampened Beomgyu’s mood.

God, I’m such an idiot, Soobin thought. He’s probably already feeling insecure. 

“So, um, wanna meet at my apartment next time?” Soobin asked Beomgyu. 

Beomgyu’s eyes widened and his cheeks flushed pink. “U-Um…”

“We don’t have to,” Soobin said quickly, worried he’d made the man uncomfortable.

Beomgyu shook his head. “I-It’s okay,” he stuttered. “S-Sure, that’s fine.”

Soobin smiled. “Cool,” he said. “How about tomorrow at five?”

“Th-That works,” Beomgyu said. 

“Okay,” Soobin said as they started to pack up their things. “Will you need a ride?”

“I-I can walk,” Beomgyu said quickly.

Soobin frowned. “I live off campus,” he said. “I don’t mind driving you.”

Beomgyu fumbled with his bag after he’d swung it over his shoulder. “Um…okay,” he said shyly. “Thanks…”

Soobin smiled again. “So I’ll see you tomorrow at five? We can meet in front of the library. It’s close to where I park.”

Beomgyu nodded, a small, pretty smile on his face.

Soobin quickly bid him goodnight and hurried out of the library, his face feeling warm. I’m losing it , he thought as he jogged to the parking lot. 

For the rest of the night, he couldn’t get Beomgyu’s pretty brown eyes out of his mind.

“So…I shared a blank presentation with you that we can work on,” Soobin said.

Beomgyu was seated beside him on Soobin’s bed, anxiously tugging on the sleeves of his oversized crewneck. He was wearing baby pink colored sweatpants and a lavender crewneck. He had on a pair of thick, clear-rimmed glasses and he looked so painfully adorable.

Soobin was getting cuteness aggression just staring at him. 

Beomgyu caught Soobin staring and immediately looked back at his laptop. His cheeks heated up.

Soobin forced himself to look away. “We can work on that today, if that’s okay with you.”

Beomgyu nodded. He was sitting criss-cross with his laptop on his lap, and his left leg was bouncing constantly. 

Soobin’s eyebrows furrowed as he looked at the man again. “Are you okay?”

Beomgyu suddenly stiffened. “Y-Yeah,” he stuttered. 

Soobin stared at the man who was practically crumbling with anxiety. They weren’t going to get anything done if Beomgyu was so nervous.

Soobin suddenly closed his laptop and set it at the end of the bed. “Let’s not work on the project right now,” he said.

Beomgyu stared at him with wide eyes. “O-Oh…” he stuttered. “O-Okay. I-I’ll go.” He reached for his bag beside the bed but Soobin grabbed his arm to stop him.

“Wait,” he said. “I didn’t say that so you would leave.”

Beomgyu paused. “Th-Then…?”

“Why don’t we hang out?” Soobin suggested. “Get to know each other better. Partner .” 

Beomgyu blushed, and it was a breathtaking sight. But then he looked a little sad. “I-I should really go,” he whispered. He tried to stand up but Soobin tightened his grip.

Why is he sad? Soobin wondered. Had he said something wrong?

It hit him then that Beomgyu probably thought Soobin was messing with him. Soobin had witnessed other guys pretend to ask Beomgyu out, just to make it known right after that they were joking and embarrass him in front of other students on campus. 

“Stay,” Soobin said, a bit desperate. He convinced himself it was for the sake of the project and his grade in the class, but really he just wanted an excuse to spend time with Beomgyu. 

Beomgyu stared at him, like he was trying to determine if Soobin was being sincere or not.

“We can play video games or watch a movie,” Soobin said. He suddenly realized he’d been holding onto Beomgyu’s arm the whole time and quickly let go.

Beomgyu slowly settled back down on the bed. “Okay,” he said quietly. 

“Any preference?” Soobin asked.

Beomgyu shook his head.

“Let’s watch a movie then,” Soobin said. That seemed like the best thing to do given that Beomgyu was really shy. “What kinds of movies do you like to watch?”

“I-I like animated movies,” Beomgyu stuttered.

Cute, Soobin thought. He immediately shook the thought away. 

“Okay, let’s watch one then,” he said. He grabbed the remote off of the bedside table and turned the TV on that was on the dresser across from the bed. He opened a random streaming service and picked the first animated movie he found.

He didn’t really like animated movies, he was more of a horror and thriller movie guy. But he wanted to do whatever made Beomgyu comfortable so it wouldn’t be so awkward between them when they worked on their project. 

It was silent between them as the movie played. When it ended, Soobin offered to order them takeout since neither of them had eaten dinner. Beomgyu tried to decline, but Soobin insisted. 

“Then we can work on the project a bit more,” Soobin said after he’d ordered them a pizza. “And I can drive you back to campus.”

Beomgyu stared at Soobin with slightly widened eyes. 

Soobin squirmed on the bed. “What?” he muttered. 

“N-Nothing,” Beomgyu stuttered and quickly looked away. But his cheeks were tinted pink. 

When their food arrived, they ate on the bed, watching a random channel Soobin had picked on TV. Soobin tried to ask Beomgyu questions, but the man only gave short, shy answers. It was going to take a lot to break his shell.

After they’d finished eating, they got back to working on their project. They were able to get a lot done, and time flew by. Soobin realized that he unfortunately didn’t want Beomgyu to leave, but asking the man to stay when they’d just met was very creepy. So he sucked it up and took Beomgyu back to campus. 

“Th-Thanks for dinner,” Beomgyu said sweetly as he stood in front of the open car door. 

“It’s no big deal,” Soobin said. “Wanna meet at my apartment again tomorrow to work on it?”

Beomgyu nodded, a pretty blush appearing on his cheeks. 

Soobin smiled. “Cool,” he said. “Same time okay?”

Beomgyu nodded again.

“I’ll be here to pick you up around five then,” Soobin said.

They bid each other goodnight, then Soobin was off to his apartment. The whole time, he kept thinking about how their meet-up that day had felt like a date. Even though they’d worked on their project, it still felt like a date. And they could possibly do the same thing the following day…

Get a grip , he told himself. It can’t be a date. You don’t like him like that. He’s just pretty because he looks like a girl. 

But deep down, Soobin knew that he was developing a crush on the man.

Soobin was eager to pick Beomgyu up the following day. He found himself putting on his favorite cologne and fussing over his hair in the bathroom before he left for campus. He waited anxiously in the car outside of Beomgyu’s dorm building.

He didn’t have to wait long, because soon, Beomgyu came bounding out the door and to Soobin’s car. He was dressed so cutely in a pastel purple turtleneck and light-wash jeans. He had those thick, clear glasses on that made him look even cuter. 

“Hey,” Soobin said as Beomgyu got in the car.

“H-Hi,” Beomgyu said shyly. 

Soobin started the drive to his apartment. He had the radio turned on low to prevent any awkward silence. “How was your day?”

“G-Good,” Beomgyu stuttered. His left leg was bouncing up and down. It seemed to be an anxious habit of his. “H-How was your day?”

“Kinda boring,” Soobin admitted. “I did homework all morning.” He stole a glance at Beomgyu and saw the man fiddling with his sweater paws. The man was so socially awkward it was endearing. 

“Do you want to hang again before we work on the project?” Soobin asked. He could feel Beomgyu staring at him.

“D-Do you just want to hang out because you pity me?” Beomgyu whispered. 

Soobin was stunned for a moment. He hadn’t expected Beomgyu to say anything like that. “No,” he said. “Why would you think that?”

“B-Because people either pity me or make fun of me,” Beomgyu whispered. The pace of his leg-bouncing increased. “S-So if you’re not playing a joke on me, you must pity me.”

“It’s actually neither of the two,” Soobin said. “I just thought it’d be more fun to hang out instead of just doing homework. You seem nice and I’d like to be your friend, if you’re okay with that.”

He wondered why he was saying all of that. He should’ve been continuing his plan to avoid Beomgyu at all costs. But it was like as soon as he got a little exposure to the pretty man, he couldn’t stay away anymore. 

“O-Oh,” Beomgyu squeaked.

Soobin glanced at Beomgyu and saw him blushing. Soobin smiled. “Is that okay?” he asked. 

“Y-Yeah…sorry…”

“You don’t need to apologize,” Soobin said. “I get it.” He pulled into the parking lot of his apartment complex.

They got out of his car and he led Beomgyu into his apartment. 

“We can go to my room again,” Soobin said as he led Beomgyu there. 

“I-I forgot to tell you yesterday,” Beomgyu stuttered. “B-But your room is nice.”

Soobin smiled. “Thanks,” he said. His bedroom was his favorite room in his apartment. He had a bookshelf full of manga, a full-sized bed covered in a red comforter with a wooden bedside table on each side, and a dresser across from the bed with a TV and gaming system on it. Off to the right was his desk that housed his gaming PC set-up and gaming chair, and the left side had a large window with red curtains, his wardrobe, and the door to the bathroom in the back corner.

Soobin grabbed two gaming consoles from his dresser and walked over to the bed, plopping down on it. He patted the spot next to him. “Let’s play some games.”

Beomgyu shyly walked over to the bed and hesitantly sat down, setting his bag on the floor beside the bed. 

Soobin handed him a console. “Do you play any games?”

Beomgyu shook his head.

“I’ll choose one that’s quick to learn,” Soobin said. He decided on Mario Kart since it was the easiest. He showed Beomgyu how to work the controls and then started a game.

They spent the next hour and a half playing Mario Kart. Soobin was having a lot of fun, and he also got to hear Beomgyu’s pretty laugh. He was glad that Beomgyu was loosening up around him. 

“I’ll order us dinner, then we can work on the project,” Soobin said when they finished their last game.

Beomgyu fiddled with the gaming console. “Y-You don’t have to—”  

Soobin shook his head. “I’m going to.”

“C-Can I give you money for it?” Beomgyu asked with big doe eyes.

“Nope,” Soobin said. “I’m older than you, so I pay.”

Beomgyu’s eyebrows furrowed. “H-How do you know you’re older than me?”

Crap . Beomgyu wasn’t supposed to know that Soobin had tried to learn everything about him that he could. In just the few days they’d been partners on the project, Soobin had stayed up at night looking up Beomgyu’s social media accounts. That was how he’d found Beomgyu’s birthday, but Beomgyu didn’t know that. Soobin was ashamed of his behavior, but he couldn’t help his curiosity. He’d also scrolled through the very few gorgeous pictures Beomgyu had posted of himself. 

“Uh…” Soobin said dumbly, unsure how to respond. “Well, I was born in 2000. And you?”

Beomgyu blushed. “2001,” he said.

“Ah, so you should call me ‘hyung’ then,” Soobin said without thinking. As soon as he realized what he’d said, he regretted it. What was he doing letting Beomgyu refer to him familiarly? He wasn’t supposed to become closer to Beomgyu, but god, it really was difficult to stay away.

“O-Okay,” Beomgyu squeaked cutely. His face was bright red.

Soobin distracted himself by calling his favorite traditional Korean restaurant and ordering them dinner. 

The food didn’t take long to come, and soon they were eating in comfortable silence on Soobin’s bed. Soobin was very aware of their knees touching as they sat criss-cross on the bed. He wanted to inch away, but was worried he’d hurt Beomgyu’s feelings. 

“Th-Thanks for the food,” Beomgyu said when they were done eating.

“You don’t have to thank me,” Soobin said as he grabbed his laptop off the bedside table. 

“A-Are you sure you don’t want money for it?”

“I’m positive,” Soobin said. He glanced at the man with an amused expression on his face. “I’m older, remember? So it’s my treat.”

Beomgyu’s cheeks reddened. “O-Okay…” he said reluctantly. 

They got to work on the project directly after. By the time they were done, it was dark out. Soobin drove Beomgyu back to campus and then returned to his apartment. 

By the time he’d finished washing up and changing so he could go to bed, he noticed a bunch of missed texts from his friends. He read through their group chat and saw that they were planning to go to their favorite club.

Jae: and we’re leaving with girls

Yejun: I’m bringing my girl 

Doyun: Bin you need a girl. when was the last time you had a good fuck?

Soobin rolled his eyes at the messages and typed back a reply.

Me: too long. I’m down.

Jae: perfect. Friday night around eight. 

Soobin hesitated, then without thinking typed:

Me: actually can I bring someone

Yejun was the first to reply.

Yejun: who? 

Me: just a new friend of mine

Jae: fine by me

The rest of his friends agreed and Soobin bit his lip. He shouldn’t have texted that. What if Beomgyu didn’t want to go? Why did Soobin want Beomgyu to go?

He shook the thoughts from his head and texted Beomgyu asking if he wanted to go. Beomgyu was typing for quite some time before he finally responded.

Beomgyu: sure sounds like fun! 

He took that long for a simple reply? Soobin thought. He actually expected Beomgyu to say no, since he didn’t think going to clubs was Beomgyu’s thing. He must be lonely and not get asked to hang out often.

I’ll make sure he has a good time , Soobin thought to himself. He was determined, although he wasn’t sure why. Why had he even invited Beomgyu? He was supposed to be avoiding the man as much as possible and yet he kept creating more opportunities for them to hang out.

This stuff is what friends do, he thought. We’re not doing anything gay. It’s fine. He’s just a new friend, that’s all. 

He realized, though, when he went to bed that night, that it probably wasn’t the best idea to invite Beomgyu to hang out with his kind of homophobic friends. 

God, I’m such an idiot, he thought as he pulled the covers over him that night. He hoped that everything would go smoothly Friday night.

Soobin invited Beomgyu over to his apartment multiple times throughout the week to hang out and work on the project. They were practically done with it by Friday. Beomgyu seemed to be slowly getting more comfortable around Soobin, and Soobin felt like they were becoming real friends. 

When Friday rolled around, Soobin picked Beomgyu up from campus and drove them to the club. Beomgyu was dressed devastatingly beautiful in a sparkly, silk pink blouse and black tight pants. He had more blush on his cheeks and glitter coating his eyelids. Pink lip gloss was on his plump, kissable lips. His brown hair was parted at the center, exposing a bit of his forehead. 

Soobin was struggling immensely. Beomgyu had no right to look so pretty and feminine. 

“We’re here,” Soobin said as he pulled into the parking lot of Jonnie’s . It was an old-fashioned club, but it had good drinks, music, and tons of pretty girls.

Beomgyu looked a little anxious as he followed Soobin to the entrance. He’d been bouncing his leg anxiously the entire car ride and looked like he wanted to turn around and go home.

“Are you okay?” Soobin asked as they presented their IDs to the club security.

“Y-Yeah,” Beomgyu said quickly. 

When they were given clearance to enter, they stepped inside to the crowded club. Loud music blasted from the speakers and the room flashed with rainbow lights.

“Follow me,” Soobin called to Beomgyu over the loud music. “I think I see my friends at the bar counter.” 

He led Beomgyu there, frequently glancing over his shoulder to make sure that Beomgyu was still following him.

Beomgyu was looking around them with widened eyes and furrowed brows. He looked overwhelmed.

“Let’s get some drinks first,” Soobin said. He gently grabbed Beomgyu’s wrist and tugged him towards the bar counter.

“Yo,” Jae called as Soobin and Beomgyu approached the bar counter.

Doyun, Yejun, and Yejun’s girlfriend were also clustered there. 

Soobin waved as he approached them. “Hey guys,” he said. He tugged Beomgyu closer to them. “This is my new friend, Beomgyu.”

Beomgyu shrank down when everyone turned to stare at him. His free hand nervously grabbed onto Soobin’s arm.

Soobin looked down at the man’s hand on his arm with surprise.

“Uh…hi,” Jae said slowly. He gave Soobin a look that said what the fuck . 

Yejun gave a small wave. “Sup, I’m Yejun.”

Doyun completely ignored Beomgyu’s presence and turned around, muttering something incoherent under his breath.

“Hi, I’m Eunae,” Yejun’s girlfriend said. She was a pretty, tall, slender girl with long bleached hair. 

Beomgyu waved shyly.

Jae stood up from his chair and grabbed Soobin’s free arm. “Can I talk to you for a sec?”

“Uh…” Soobin glanced worriedly at Beomgyu.

But Eunae was quickly all over Beomgyu. “Your lashes are so long,” she gushed. “Who did your makeup?”

“I-I did it myself…” Beomgyu said a bit bashfully. 

“Wow!” 

Soobin let Jae drag him a few feet away. “What?” he said.

“You brought the gay guy?” Jae hissed. 

Soobin frowned. “His name is Beomgyu,” he said. “And I told you he’s a new friend of mine.”

“Don’t give me that bullshit,” Jae snapped. “He’s been at our university for months now and you were never friends with him.”

“Well we sit next to each other in our art history class and got paired together for a project,” Soobin said calmly. “So we’ve been hanging out for over a week and he’s actually really nice.”

Jae groaned. “Dude, we don’t need anyone from campus seeing us hanging with that guy!”

Soobin took a step back. “Listen, if you’re going to be rude to him, we’ll leave.”

Jae stared at Soobin. “Are you fucking serious?”

“Dead serious,” Soobin said.

Jae muttered a few curse words under his breath. “Whatever, man,” he muttered as he turned around and stormed back over to the others.

Soobin followed behind him.

“Everything okay?” Yejun asked as he swirled around a glass full of amber liquid in his hand.

“Everything’s fine,” Soobin said as he stood back next to Beomgyu, acting as his bodyguard for the night. 

“So how long have you two known each other?” Eunae asked with wide eyes. 

“Not very long,” Beomgyu said.

Soobin laughed a bit nervously. “Yeah, not long…” Beomgyu didn’t know that Soobin had been obsessing over him ever since he came to campus. 

“You guys down for some drinks?” Yejun asked.

Soobin nodded. “I’ll take a beer,” he said. He looked down at Beomgyu. “What would you like?”

“A-A club soda…” Beomgyu mumbled, his face heating up. 

Jae scoffed and Soobin shot him a glare. 

Doyun downed a glass of what was probably straight vodka, knowing his tastes. He stood up from his seat at the bar counter and brushed past Soobin. “I’m going to find some bitches,” he muttered.

“Are you guys going to dance?” Yejun asked before taking a sip of his drink. 

“Maybe,” Soobin said. 

The bartender gave them their drinks and Soobin pulled out his wallet to pay. Beomgyu opened his mouth to protest but Soobin shushed him.

Yejun watched the interaction with a raised brow.

Soobin felt his cheeks warm as he stuffed his wallet back into his pocket after paying for the drinks. He needed to dial it back or his friends would pick up on his obsession with Beomgyu. 

“Are you going to dance, Beomgyu-ssi?” Eunae asked.

Beomgyu quickly shook his head.

“He’s shy,” Soobin said.

Eunae shrugged. “Suit yourself.” She grabbed Yejun’s hand and started to drag him to the dance floor.

Yejun stumbled after her, still clutching his glass that was half empty. 

“You came here to get a girl, didn’t you?” Jae said to Soobin as he leaned back against the counter. “Doyun’s already surrounded by a bunch of hot ones.”

“I don’t know…” Soobin said hesitantly. “I don’t want to leave Beomgyu alone.” 

Jae rolled his eyes. “What, are you his babysitter?”

Soobin frowned.

Beomgyu took a step back, hiding half of his body behind Soobin. 

“Shut up,” Soobin said to Jae. He handed the club soda to Beomgyu and grabbed his beer off the counter. 

“At least go dance with some,” Jae said.

Soobin took a sip of his beer. “Why don’t you go dance with some?”

“I’m not drunk enough yet.”

“Then hurry the fuck up and drink,” Soobin said.

“You too,” Jae said with a smirk.

“Can’t,” Soobin said. “I probably won’t even finish this beer. I’ve gotta drive us home.”

Jae groaned. “Why are you being so lame tonight?”

Soobin rolled his eyes. “Why are you being such a dick?”

Jae flipped him off before waving the bartender over to order another drink.

Soobin turned to Beomgyu, who’d been very quiet. “What do you think of the club?” he asked.

Beomgyu hesitated before responding, “I-It’s…nice.”

Soobin could tell Beomgyu was lying. The poor man looked uncomfortable and he kept looking around them anxiously. He hadn’t touched his drink yet.

“Come with me,” Soobin said, grabbing Beomgyu’s wrist and tugging him away from the counter.

Beomgyu stumbled after him. “U-Um…where are we—”

Soobin pulled Beomgyu through a set of shimmery purple curtains to reveal a game room and lounge area in the back. There were plush velvet sofas, pool and air hockey tables, and tables set up for cards. There was a smaller bar counter at the back selling only wine.

“Ta-da,” Soobin said as he tugged Beomgyu over to the sofas and plopped down. 

Beomgyu slowly sat down next to him. 

“It’s much less chaotic here,” Soobin said. “The music is quieter and there’s no crowded dance floor.”

Beomgyu looked around the room with wide eyes. There were maybe about ten other people lingering in the room.

“I don’t know a lot about you,” Soobin said. 

“W-We haven’t known each other for long,” Beomgyu mumbled. 

But I’ve had my eye on you ever since you came here, Soobin thought. He was immediately ashamed of himself. Beomgyu was a guy. A guy . 

“True,” Soobin said. “But since we’re becoming friends, why not get to know each other a bit?” We need to be friends so I have a reason to keep you in my life after this project ends , he thought. 

“Okay,” Beomgyu said. He looked a bit suspicious, which was understandable. No one that Soobin had ever seen talk to the man had good intentions. 

“Okay, first question,” Soobin said. “Are you from Seoul?” Of course, he knew the answer was no. Beomgyu was from Daegu, but Soobin wouldn’t have any reason to know that unless he’d been paying extra attention to him despite not having classes with him until that semester. 

Beomgyu shook his head. “I’m from Daegu.”

“Do you like it there?” 

Beomgyu nodded immediately. “I miss it a lot,” he said. “It’s really pretty there.”

“I’ve never been,” Soobin said. “But I’d like to visit some day.”

Beomgyu looked up at him. “Are you from Seoul?”

Soobin shook his head. “Ansan,” he said. “But to be honest, I like Seoul better. I think I’ll live here after college.”

“I-I think I’ll probably go back to Daegu,” Beomgyu said quietly.

For some reason, that made Soobin’s chest ache. Perhaps he could change the man’s mind. 

“Do you not like Seoul?” Soobin asked, curiously.

“No, I like it,” Beomgyu said. “But I get homesick often. I miss my family in Daegu. It’s lonely here.”

Soobin swallowed thickly. “Well, it won’t be lonely anymore,” he said. “You have me now.”

Beomgyu squinted at him. “You’re sure you’re not doing this just because you pity me?”

“I’m positive,” Soobin said sincerely. “You could probably already tell, but I don’t have the kindest friends. You’re really nice and I’m in need of nice friends.”

Beomgyu let out the cutest giggle. “Okay,” he said, smiling.

Soobin’s heart unfortunately skipped a beat. He was so weak.

“Okay, next question,” he said, desperate to distract himself from his uneven heartbeat. “Your major and what you want to do when you graduate.”

“I’m majoring in Korean,” Beomgyu said. “I’d like to edit books when I graduate. And you?”

“I’m a graphic art major,” Soobin said. “I want to design video games.”

“Wow, that’s really cool,” Beomgyu said with wide eyes.

Soobin felt his cheeks heat up and shrugged. 

“What’s your next question?” Beomgyu asked. 

“What are your hobbies?” 

Beomgyu looked thoughtful for a moment. “I like reading. I write a little too. What about you?”

“I like playing video games and watching anime,” Soobin said. “Sometimes I read manga, when I have time to.”

“That’s cool,” Beomgyu said. “Do you know Japanese?”

Soobin shook his head. He was embarrassed. “I tried to start learning once,” he said. “But with homework and hanging out with friends, I never have time to commit to it.”

“I could help you learn if you wanted to,” Beomgyu said, a bit shyly.

“You know Japanese?” Soobin asked.

Beomgyu nodded. “I had to learn it through middle and high school back in Daegu.”

“Ah, you’re lucky,” Soobin said. “It’s nice to know more than one language.”

“I’m hoping to go to Japan some day,” Beomgyu said. “So I practice my Japanese often.”

“I’d love to go,” Soobin said. “Maybe over summer break.”

Beomgyu opened his mouth to say something else, but just then, Jae came bursting through the curtains. He sauntered over to them.

“So this is where you’re hiding,” he said.

Soobin sighed. “What do you want?”

Jae scoffed. “What do I want? We came here to hang out together and you’re hiding in here.”

“I was talking to Beomgyu,” Soobin said, annoyed.

Jae scowled at him. “Why’d you even bother coming if you weren’t going to hang with us?”

“I would hang with you guys if you weren’t so obsessed with getting me a girlfriend,” Soobin said. “When I find a girl I like, I’ll ask her out. Stop rushing me. You don’t even have a girlfriend yourself.”

Jae’s cheeks heated up. “I have girls I see,” he said. “You don’t even have that.”

“Well my love and sex lives are none of your concern,” Soobin said as he stood up.

Beomgyu stood up with him.

“Anyway, it’s late and we should probably head home,” Soobin said. 

“Already?” Jae said. “It’s only nine thirty.”

“I-I have a copy-editing test tomorrow morning,” Beomgyu mumbled, looking nervous. “I-I need to get some sleep…”

Jae scowled at him before turning around and storming off, muttering a “whatever” under his breath.

“Don’t mind him,” Soobin said quickly. “He’s just acting that way because I didn’t get shit-faced drunk and dance with them.”

“I-If you wanted to, you could’ve—”

Soobin shook his head. “Nah,” he said, cutting Beomgyu off. “I wanted to talk to you.”

Beomgyu’s cheeks warmed. “O-Oh,” he choked out. “O-Okay.”

“Come on, I’ll drop you off at your dorm,” Soobin said as he led Beomgyu out of the back room and back into the noisy club. 

Soobin managed to say goodbye to Yejun and Eunae on the way out. Doyun wouldn’t spare him a glance.

Whatever, Soobin thought as he drove Beomgyu to campus. Is it that big of a deal that I befriended a gay guy?

Soon, Soobin was turning into the campus and drove up to Beomgyu’s dorm. 

“Have a good night,” he said. 

Beomgyu smiled at him, but he looked a little sad. “Thanks, you too. And thanks for inviting me. And for the drink.”

Soobin waved his hand. “It’s nothing,” he said. “Hopefully we can hang out more?”

Beomgyu’s smile turned more genuine. “I’d like that.”

Soobin smiled back, then they bid each other goodnight and he returned to his apartment.

That night, as he laid in bed and stared up at the ceiling, he couldn’t stop thinking about how pretty Beomgyu had looked. The pink blouse, tight pants, and glittery makeup. 

He groaned. Jae was right, he did need a girlfriend. 

Soobin didn’t waste any time asking Beomgyu to hang out with him and his friends again. They’d already turned in and presented their project, and Soobin was trying to find ways for him to still spend time with the man. 

A few weeks had gone by since their presentation day, and Soobin had gotten a lot closer with Beomgyu. He often invited the man over to his apartment to watch movies or play video games. But whenever Soobin asked Beomgyu to hang out with him and his friends, the man declined with a lame excuse. That didn’t stop Soobin from asking, though.

“My friends and I were going to eat at our favorite diner tonight,” Soobin said one Friday during their art history class. “Wanna come?”

Beomgyu looked hesitant. “I don’t know…” he said. “I don’t think your friends like me very much.” He nervously tucked some of his brown hair behind his ear.

Soobin swallowed thickly as he watched the action. “Uh, that’s not true,” he said, even though it most definitely was. Well, at least in the case of Jae and Doyun. Yejun and Eunae didn’t seem to care, or didn’t show it if they did.

“It’ll be fun,” Soobin insisted. “Come on, please?”

Beomgyu sighed. “Fine.”

Soobin brightened. “It’s my treat tonight, okay?” he said. It was the least he could do since it seemed like Beomgyu didn’t want to go.

Beomgyu’s cheeks reddened. “Y-You’re always spoiling me…”

Soobin smiled. “That’s what hyungs do.”

Beomgyu covered his reddened face with his hands, and Soobin couldn’t help but smile fondly at the man. He’d only officially met Beomgyu a month ago, yet he was down bad for the man even more than before. 

I better be careful, he thought. He’s nothing more than a friend. I can’t see him as anything else.

When the class ended, they went their separate ways. Soobin told Beomgyu he’d pick him up at his dorm around five o’clock. 

His afternoon classes blew by quickly, and soon, he was sitting in his car outside of Beomgyu’s dorm. The sun was starting to set, and the sky was a mix of orange and pink.

Beomgyu came over to the car after a few moments of Soobin waiting.

“Hey,” Soobin said with a smile as Beomgyu got in the car.

Beomgyu smiled back, but it didn’t reach his eyes.

Soobin instantly sensed that the man was nervous. “My friends are already there and got us a table,” he said. 

“Is Eunae noona going to be there?” Beomgyu asked.

Soobin shook his head. “She couldn’t make it today,” he said.

Beomgyu looked disappointed.

“But don’t worry,” Soobin said quickly. “It’ll still be a lot of fun.”

“A-Are your friends okay with me coming?” Beomgyu asked.

Soobin winced. “They…kinda don’t know you’re coming,” he said slowly.

Beomgyu’s eyes widened. “W-What? You should’ve told them. They weren’t very happy that you brought me to the club that one time…”

“I know,” Soobin said “They can be a little difficult to get to know at first, but I’m sure they’ll soften up to you.”

Beomgyu just shrugged, staring down at his lap.

Soobin felt guilty. He’d basically pressured Beomgyu to come. “Do you wanna go back to your dorm?” he asked. “If you don’t want to come, don’t feel like you have to. I’ll turn around and take you back.”

Beomgyu swallowed thickly as he looked up at Soobin. “N-No, it’s fine,” he stuttered. “I-I’ll come. It’s not like I have other plans.” He let out a dry laugh. 

“Okay…” Soobin said slowly, glancing at him worriedly. 

Beomgyu was staring at his lap with his hands clasped tightly together on his thighs. 

Soon, Soobin was pulling into the parking lot of the diner. He parked the car and they got out of it, making their way to the diner’s entrance.

The smell of fried food immediately hit Soobin’s nose as they made their way inside. The diner’s color scheme was red, black, and white. It looked more like a speakeasy with plush red benches, black tables, and a front counter looking more like a bar counter with empty shiny Coca Cola bottles arranged on the back wall. Gold chandeliers hung from the ceiling throughout, casting the diner in a low orange glow. The floor was the classic black and white tile pattern. 

Soobin led Beomgyu to the back of the diner, where he spotted his friends at their usual booth. “Hey guys,” he said as he slid into the booth.

Beomgyu hesitantly slid in next to him. 

Jae squinted at them, and his face said it all. You brought him ?

“Doyun isn’t here yet,” Yejun said, seemingly unaware of Jae quietly seething beside him. Him and Jae were seated across from them, and they’d dragged a chair up to the open side of the table for Doyun.

“I’m ready to order,” Jae grumbled. “He’s taking forever.” 

“You know he got hammered last night,” Yejun said with a snort. 

Jae just rolled his eyes.

“I’m here.” Doyun suddenly walked over to their table, sitting down in the chair. “Last night was wild, man.” He was grinning, but his grin faded when he spotted Beomgyu.

Beomgyu shifted beside Soobin, looking uncomfortable. 

Soobin bumped their legs together, hoping it gave a little comfort to the man.

Beomgyu looked at him, his cheeks reddening.

“What, is this guy your boyfriend or something?” Doyun asked Soobin in a condescending tone.

Soobin frowned. “He’s not my boyfriend,” he said. “I’m straight, you know that. We’re just friends.”

Doyun eyed Soobin suspiciously, and Soobin felt himself start to sweat.

“You keep inviting him to our hangouts, so we weren’t sure,” Jae said coldly. 

So they’d talked about Soobin behind his back? 

Soobin scoffed. “You guys are shitty.”

Beomgyu stared down at the table. “I-I can go.” 

“No,” Soobin said quickly, grabbing Beomgyu’s arm before the man could stand. “Stay.”

“He’s offering to leave, Soobin,” Jae said. “Why don’t you shut up? We all know you’re just inviting him along ‘cause you’re a softie. You feel bad ‘cause he has no friends, right?”

Soobin glared at Jae. “That is not true,” he said. His blood was boiling. “Beomgyu is my friend now. Stop treating him like shit or I’m going to stop hanging out with you.”

Jae and Doyun were stunned into silence for a moment. But then Jae said,

“You’ve known us for years and you’d throw our friendship away for some gay guy?” 

Beomgyu immediately stood up and shook Soobin’s hand off his arm. “I’m leaving,” he whispered. “I-I’ll catch a bus home.” He turned around and hurried off.

Soobin stood up. “Wait, Beomgyu!” he called after him. He turned to glare at Jae. “You fucking asshole! You can’t shut your shithole of a mouth for once in your fucking life! What the fuck did he do to you?”

Jae stood up, his fists clenched at his sides. “I don’t want to be seen with the campus homosexual, Soobin,” he spat. “I still care about people respecting me.”

Soobin lunged at him, but Yejun jumped up and pushed him back.

“It’s not worth it,” Yejun said. “We should all call it quits for tonight. You two need to cool off.”

Soobin shook Yejun off and turned around, scooting out of the booth and storming off. He hoped to catch Beomgyu in the parking lot, but when he got there, the man was nowhere to be found. 

This is all my fault, he thought as he got in his car. He didn’t want to come and I pressured him to. Now my shitty friends humiliated him and he’ll probably never want to talk to me again. 

Soobin bit his lip and quickly pulled his phone out of his pocket. He sent a quick text to Beomgyu.

Me: my friends are shit and I left the diner. I’m really sorry, Beomgyu. Can you please come to my apartment? I’d rather spend time with you.

He didn’t realize how romantically suggestive the text sounded until after he’d sent it. Fuck. 

I still care about people respecting me, Jae had said. 

Did Soobin? Was Soobin embarrassed to be seen with Beomgyu? No, he didn’t think so. But then why was he so embarrassed about potentially being seen as Beomgyu’s boyfriend? 

I wanna be friends with Beomgyu, but I don’t want anyone to think I’m gay, Soobin thought. He felt so guilty for feeling that way. 

He pulled out of the parking lot and started his way back to his apartment. His phone buzzed while he was driving, but he wasn’t able to check it until he pulled into the parking lot of his apartment complex. 

It was a text from Beomgyu.

Beomgyu: your friends don’t want you to hang out with me.

Soobin felt the rage he’d felt at the diner returning. He quickly typed a reply.

Me: I don’t give a fuck what they want. I want to hang out with you. 

He quickly got out of the car and unlocked his apartment door. He stepped inside, shutting the door behind him. His phone buzzed again, and he quickly opened the new text.

Beomgyu: okay, I’ll come. 

Soobin felt his heart skip a beat, then instantly felt ashamed of his reaction. Just friends, he reminded himself. You like women. But why did he have to tell himself that so much?

He tried to shake the thoughts from his head and typed out a reply.  

Me: do you need me to pick you up?

Beomgyu responded immediately.

Beomgyu: no, I’ll get off at the nearest stop and walk. 

Soobin chewed on his lip anxiously.

Me: are you sure? 

Beomgyu: I’m sure.

Soobin ended up spending the next fifteen minutes anxiously pacing his apartment. He jolted when there was suddenly a knock at the door.

Even though he’d left it unlocked, he rushed to open the door. There Beomgyu was, looking just as gorgeous as he had earlier. He was wearing jeans, a white button-up, and a baby pink sweater vest. He had on his usual makeup, and he smelled like peonies. Soobin hadn’t paid much attention to what the man looked like earlier because he’d been stressed about how his friends would react to Beomgyu coming. But now, he could appreciate Beomgyu’s beauty. 

I can admit that he looks nice, he told himself. It doesn’t mean I want to date him. 

“Come on in,” he said, a bit breathless.

Beomgyu slowly stepped inside. He was clutching the strap of his bag which was swung over his shoulder. He didn’t say anything, and the atmosphere was very awkward.

Soobin cleared his throat. “Wanna watch a movie?”

Beomgyu nodded and followed Soobin into the living room.

“I’m sorry about my friends,” Soobin said. “They’re assholes. At least, Jae and Doyun are.” He grabbed the remote off the coffee table and plopped down on the couch. 

“I-I don’t want to be around them anymore,” Beomgyu whispered as he sat down next to Soobin.

“And you don’t have to,” Soobin said quickly. “It was all my fault, I pressured you to go.”

Beomgyu shook his head. “I-I thought they’d change their mind about me if they got to know me,” he said. “I guess not.”

“Well they don’t deserve to get to know you,” Soobin said. 

Beomgyu stared at him with reddened cheeks. “I-I like hanging out just us,” he blurted out.

Soobin smiled. “Me too,” he said. “From now on, that’s what we’ll do.” He opened up a random streaming service. He remembered that Beomgyu liked animated movies, so he selected the first one that popped up. He settled back against the couch and Beomgyu followed suit.

About halfway through the movie, Soobin felt something on his shoulder. He slowly turned to find Beomgyu’s head resting there, his eyes closed and soft breaths leaving his pink, plump lips. Soobin swallowed thickly. He should really wake Beomgyu up, but a small part of him didn’t want to. 

It wouldn’t hurt if he stayed the night, Soobin thought. Friends sleep over each other’s places all the time. It’s not gay. 

Soobin waited until the movie ended before he tried to get up without waking Beomgyu up.

But Beomgyu’s eyes fluttered open and he let out a yawn. He looked up at Soobin. “Did I fall asleep?” 

Soobin nodded. “It’s late, do you wanna stay the night?”

Beomgyu’s face reddened. “O-Oh, I don’t know…”

“I mean, I can drive you back if you want me to,” Soobin said. “I’m definitely not letting you walk or take the bus this late. But I really don’t mind if you stayed the night.”

Beomgyu hesitated. “I-I didn’t bring anything,” he said after a moment.

“I have spare toiletries in my bathroom,” Soobin said. “And you can just borrow my clothes, if that’s okay with you.”

“Th-That’s fine,” Beomgyu squeaked. “Th-Thanks.” His face was so red, and it was unfortunately very adorable.

“Great,” Soobin said with a smile. “I’ll go gather that stuff. You can head to the bedroom.”

Beomgyu’s eyes widened. “I-I can sleep on the couch,” he stuttered.

Soobin shook his head. “That’s not necessary,” he said. “We can share the bed, if you’re comfortable with that. If not, I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“N-No, it’s fine,” Beomgyu choked out. “W-We can share the b-bed…” 

Soobin didn’t think much of it until they were both washed up, changed, and under the covers of his bed.

This feels romantic, he thought. If Yejun were sleeping over, he’d be on the couch. There’s no way we’d be sharing a bed. So why is it different with Beomgyu?

“H-Hyung?”

Soobin was torn from his thoughts by Beomgyu’s soft voice. “Hm?” 

“Th-Thanks for not judging me like everyone else,” Beomgyu whispered. “I don’t have any friends because no one wants to hang out with someone gay. But you’re not like that, and I’ve had a lot of fun with you so far. I’m really thankful for you.”

Soobin’s heart clenched. “You don’t have to thank me,” he said. It wasn’t like he was a saint. He still feared being mistaken for Beomgyu’s boyfriend, as ashamed of himself for feeling that way as he was. 

“You’re nothing like your friends,” Beomgyu said. “Why do you hang out with them?”

“I’ve known them for a long time,” Soobin said. “We went to the same schools before college. We all got along really well. But then again, that was before Jae and Doyun started acting like assholes. I guess college changed them.”

“I didn’t mean to make them mad,” Beomgyu whispered.

Soobin’s eyebrows furrowed. “Beomgyu, it wasn’t your fault,” he said. “They were being horrible to you for no reason.”

“I don’t know why my existence bothers everyone so much,” Beomgyu mumbled. “Your friends…everyone on campus…I thought things would be different in Seoul. I thought people would be more accepting here.”

“Was it bad in Daegu?” Soobin asked.

“It wasn’t great,” Beomgyu said. “But my parents and brother accept me, so I guess it’s better for me there.”

“I’m sure there are a lot of other people in the community here,” Soobin said in an attempt to make Beomgyu feel better. “They probably don’t come out because they’re scared to.”

Beomgyu stared at Soobin curiously. “Yeah, true,” he said. “I’m taking the heat for them.”

“It shouldn’t be that way,” Soobin said.

Beomgyu shrugged. “It shouldn’t be, but it is,” he said.”I’m used to it by now. Still hurts though.”

“Well you don’t have to worry about that with me,” Soobin said. “I accept you, okay? And I’m your friend.” He hesitantly reached out to grab Beomgyu’s hand and give it a squeeze.

A blush blossomed on Beomgyu’s cheeks and Soobin quickly released his hand.

He cleared his throat, awkwardly. Why did I just do that? he wondered. “So anyway,” he said. “I’ll be your bodyguard on campus. Whenever someone tries to tease or make fun of you, they’ll have to deal with me.”

A small smile broke out on Bromgyu’s lips. “You’re going to protect me?”

Soobin nodded. “I’m over six feet tall,” he said. “A lot of people don’t want to mess with me.”

Beomgyu giggled. “Okay, I’ll hold you to that.”

Soobin smiled. “We should get some sleep,” he said.

Beomgyu nodded. “Goodnight, hyung.”

“Goodnight.”

Soobin closed his eyes and did his best to fall asleep. But knowing Beomgyu was only a few inches away from him drove him insane. He could smell Beomgyu’s peony scent, and could practically feel his body heat radiating. 

A small, hidden thought from deep inside of him bubbled up— I want him.

Soobin rolled over onto his other side, his back facing Beomgyu. No no no, he thought. You don’t really want him. You’re just confused. You haven’t been around women in too long. 

It was his own fault for bringing Beomgyu into his life. He should’ve just been polite while they worked on the project then said goodbye to Beomgyu forever when the project was over. Why did he have to go befriend the pretty man? 

There’s no going back now, Soobin thought. He couldn’t possibly break his friendship with Beomgyu. Beomgyu was so happy that Soobin accepted him, it would break him if Soobin switched up. 

No, he couldn’t do such a thing. He’d have to strengthen his self-control. Although it wouldn’t be easy—not with the raging desire he had for Beomgyu. He was definitely doomed.

The following morning, Soobin convinced Beomgyu to stay for breakfast. Since it was Saturday and they didn’t have classes, there was no need to rush the day. 

Soobin had woken up to a bunch of missed texts from all three of his friends and their group chat. But he ignored them and got to work on making blueberry pancakes for Beomgyu and him.

Beomgyu came cutely stumbling into the kitchen while Soobin was cooking, rubbing his eyes sleepily.

“Still tired?” Soobin said as he flipped one of the pancakes.

“Yeah,” Beomgyu said as he walked over to the kitchen table and sat down. “Are you making pancakes?”

Soobin turned to flash him a smile. “Yup,” he said.

Beomgyu beamed. “I love pancakes!”

He was seriously too cute for his own good. Soobin had the sudden urge to squish the man’s cheeks, but he resisted. 

Stay strong, he told himself. 

Beomgyu rested his chin on his hand and watched Soobin cook. 

Soobin felt his heart flutter and he quickly turned back around. Why did Beomgyu have to make him react that way? 

“It’s ready,” Soobin said as he brought over a plate full of pancakes. He grabbed a plate of chopped fruit that he’d made earlier from the fridge and set it down on the table with the pancakes. He added a bottle of orange juice and maple syrup. 

“So…do you have plans for today?” Soobin asked as they served themselves pancakes and fruit. He realized after that it was a stupid thing to ask. Of course Beomgyu didn’t have plans. He’d only made it clear to Soobin that he didn’t have friends or plans.

But thankfully, Beomgyu didn’t seem offended. “No,” he said. “I don’t have any homework to do today.”

Soobin straightened. “Do you want to stay then? We could hang out here or go out somewhere.”

Beomgyu’s cheeks turned pink. “S-Sure, that sounds fun.”

Soobin smiled brightly. “Cool,” he said. He preferred Beomgyu’s company over his shitty friends’ anyway.

“I don’t have any clothes to change into,” Beomgyu said.

“You can just borrow more of mine,” Soobin said. It worked out perfectly for him, because the sight of Beomgyu drowning in Soobin’s clothes was adorable. 

“Are you sure?” Beomgyu asked.

“I’m sure,” Soobin said. “So what should we do today?”

Beomgyu put a big piece of pancake in his mouth, his cheeks bulging out cutely. “Mm…” he mumbled.

Soobin laughed lightly. “You’re cute,” he said without thinking. As soon as he’d said it, he realized he’d fucked up. What if he gets the wrong idea? he thought worriedly.

Beomgyu slowly chewed and swallowed. His cheeks had darkened from pink to red, and he avoided Soobin’s gaze. But there was a shy smile on his lips.

Soobin swallowed thickly. “We could, um, go out,” he said. “To the town next to campus. There’s a nice café there and tons of shops.” 

Beomgyu’s smile widened. “That sounds good to me,” he said. 

Soobin tried to force down the anxiety he felt from slipping up earlier. “Great,” he said. “Then after breakfast we can get ready and head out.” 

Beomgyu nodded and shoved another chunk of pancake in his mouth. He even ate cutely. It was seriously unfair.

They finished their breakfast and then went to the bathroom to get ready. Soobin lent Beomgyu some more of his clothes and they took turns washing up and changing. It was strange seeing Beomgyu wearing Soobin’s casual clothes instead of the man’s usual pretty pastel and girly clothes. But Soobin didn’t mind it one bit. 

After they were done getting ready, they got into Soobin’s car and Soobin started off towards the town. The whole drive he was trying to convince himself that it wasn’t a date. 

We’re just two guys hanging out, he told himself. Not a date. Not a date. Not a date. 

“Wow, this place is pretty,” Beomgyu said with wide eyes as Soobin parked on the side of the street.

It had only taken them ten minutes to drive to town from Soobin’s apartment complex. The weather was gorgeous that day—the sun was out and there was a gentle breeze.

“You haven’t been here before?” Soobin asked as they got out of the car.

“Nope,” Beomgyu said. “I don’t have a car, and I don’t like to ride public transportation that much.”

Soobin didn’t blame him. A pretty man like Beomgyu probably got teased and harassed on the bus.

“Well I have a car, so I can take you to see all the cool places in Seoul,” Soobin said as they started off down the street. Soobin planned on hitting a few shops until they got hungry for lunch.

Beomgyu smiled at him. “Really?”

“Really.”

Beomgyu looked so happy. “I’m lucky to be your friend, hyung.”

Soobin’s heart fluttered because of Beomgyu for the second time that day. He felt his face heat up, and he couldn’t find the words for a reply. 

A comfortable silence fell between them until they reached the first shop Soobin wanted to show Beomgyu. 

“This is a really nice clothing store,” Soobin said as they stepped inside the brightly lit shop. “They have clothes for all styles.”

Beomgyu looked around the store with wide eyes. He let out a small “oh!” when he spotted a rack of pastel colored clothes.

Soobin smiled. “Found your section?”

Beomgyu nodded and hurried over to the rack.

Soobin followed behind. 

They were greeted by a store associate who proceeded to help Beomgyu pick out some clothes to try on. Thankfully, she didn’t say anything about the fact that Beomgyu was shopping for women’s clothes. 

Soobin ended up sitting outside of the dressing room and giving Beomgyu his opinion on each piece. It was honestly a lot of fun. He could even convince himself that he was doing this for a girlfriend. Wasn’t what he was doing for Beomgyu exactly what guys did for their girlfriends? Hell, Soobin had even done it for his past girlfriends. 

“The clothes here are so cute,” Beomgyu said as he stepped out of the fitting room with a stack of clothes in his hands. He put back the ones he didn’t want but left 3 pastel-colored tops and a pair of jeans with heart patches on them. “Aren’t you going to look?”

Soobin shook his head. “I’ve been here so many times,” he says. “I just wanted to show it to you.”

Beomgyu smiled shyly. “O-Oh…well I like it!”

Soobin smiled back. “Good,” he said as he grabbed the clothes from Beomgyu and walked up to the register. 

Beomgyu hurried after him. “W-What are you doing?”

“Checking out,” Soobin said like it was obvious.

Beomgyu scrambled to pull his wallet out but Soobin grabbed his wrist to stop him.

“I’ve got it,” he said.

Beomgyu’s eyes widened. “W-What? No, it’s okay I’ve got—” 

“Here,” Soobin said to the store associate as he handed her his credit card. 

“H-Hyung…”

Soobin turned to stare at the adorable man. “What? I can’t treat you?”

“B-But…you treat me enough…”

“And I want to treat you more,” Soobin said simply. He finished checking out and then handed Beomgyu the bag of clothes. “Here.”

Beomgyu’s face was red and he couldn’t look Soobin in the eye. “Th-Thank you…”

Soobin couldn’t resist ruffling Beomgyu’s fluffy brown hair. “It’s nothing,” he said.

“C-Can I pay for lunch at least?” Beomgyu asked.

Soobin shook his head. “Nope nope nope. I invited you out, today’s on me.”

Beomgyu opened his mouth to protest but Soobin pressed a finger to the man’s lips.

“You two are such a cute couple!” the store associate said with a beam.

Soobin froze. He knew it would happen. What was he thinking? He kept treating Beomgyu like a girlfriend, taking him out on dates and buying him things. People were bound to think they were dating. He slowly dropped his finger from Beomgyu’s lips. 

“O-Oh, we’re not a couple,” Beomgyu quickly clarified, his voice quiet. “J-Just friends.”

“Oh, I’m sorry!” the store associate said.

“No worries,” Beomgyu said with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. 

Soobin cleared his throat. “We should check out some of the other stores.”

Beomgyu nodded and followed him out of the store.

The silence between them was more awkward than before. Thankfully, the next shop was only a few stores down. 

“You said you like reading,” Soobin said as they stepped into a cozy little bookstore. 

Shelves full of books were laid out in front of them. The bookstore cat came to greet them with a meow.

Beomgyu gushed over the cat, squatting down to pat its white and orange fur. “Wow, this place is so cute!” he said when he stood back up. 

“Isn’t it?” Soobin said. “I thought you’d like it.”

They spent the next twenty minutes roaming through the aisles. Soobin didn’t like reading much, unless it was manga, but he listened to Beomgyu talk excitedly about books he read and loved. 

Soobin ended up buying Beomgyu three books, even though the man protested and said he could buy them himself. Soobin couldn’t help it—he had the desperate desire to treat Beomgyu. Even after being mistaken for a couple, Soobin couldn’t stop. He was so stupid.

I’m treating him like a girlfriend, he thought. I need to back off before I lead him on. 

“So, uh, do you wanna head to the café now?” Soobin asked as they walked down the sidewalk.

The sun warmed them and the light breeze gently blew by. 

Beomgyu looked so pretty with his tousled hair and big doe eyes. “Sure,” he said.

They made their way down the street, and a few shops down was the café. Inside it was cozy. The theme of the café was wood and plants. Greenery hung from the ceilings and fairy lights were strung on the walls. Plants littered the front counter and wooden tables that were scattered throughout. The large windows along the walls caused sunlight to stream inside and illuminate the space. 

“It’s so cute in here,” Beomgyu said as he followed Soobin to the counter.

“It’s one of my favorite cafés near campus,” Soobin said.

“Hello!” the barista at the front counter greeted them as they approached. “What can I get for you today?”

They scanned the menu on the back wall, behind the counter. 

“I’ll take an iced americano,” Soobin said. “And the Korean street toast.” 

Beomgyu eyed the menu with wide eyes. “I’ll have an iced lavender latte,” he said, a bit quietly. He was so shy talking to people he didn’t know. “With a ham and cheese sandwich please.”

The barista took their order down, then Soobin paid. Beomgyu still seemed a little hesitant to let Soobin pay for him, but Soobin insisted it was his treat. 

They sat down at a wooden booth towards the back of the café while they waited for their orders. 

“So, what do you think of the town?” Soobin asked Beomgyu.

“It’s so cute!” Beomgyu said with a bright smile. “There’s so much to do here.”

“There’s a park not too far from here too,” Soobin said. “With a view of the water.”

“I bet it’s so pretty,” Beomgyu said.

“We can go there after lunch if you’d like,” Soobin said.

Beomgyu perked up. “Can we?”

“Of course.”

They chatted for a little while longer until their barista called that their order was ready. Soobin quickly stood up and went to retrieve it. He returned to the table and distributed their food and drinks.

Beomgyu took a sip of his latte and sighed happily. 

“Good?” Soobin asked with a fond smile.

Beomgyu nodded eagerly. “It’s really good! Thanks, hyung.”

Soobin’s smile widened. Maybe it wasn’t so bad spoiling Beomgyu. Friends spoiled each other sometimes, didn’t they? What was wrong with the fact that Soobin liked seeing Beomgyu smile? If spoiling the man made him happy, Soobin was glad to do so.

They chatted about random things while they ate—how their classes were going, plans for the summer, music they were listening to lately. When they finished eating, they headed back down the street to Soobin’s car so they could head to the park.

The park was only a five minute drive from the street of shops, and soon Soobin was pulling into the parking lot. There was a path that ran along the water, and Soobin planned to take Beomgyu there.

It was a bit breezier by the water, but neither of them minded. They walked in comfortable silence, Beomgyu occasionally pointing out a boat in the distance or ducks in the water. It was nice, and Soobin felt at peace. He never felt that way when he hung out with his other friends.

Speaking of, he still hadn’t answered any of the texts and calls from his friends. Not even Yejun’s. He just needed some space from them. He wasn’t even sure if he wanted to keep talking to Jae and Doyun after the way they treated Beomgyu. 

Without realizing it, they’d arrived back at the car. The walk had been about thirty minutes, and the air was growing chillier as the afternoon approached. 

“Wanna head back?” Soobin asked as they got in the car. “We could go back to my place and play video games.”

Beomgyu smiled, and he looked so happy. “Sure!”

Soobin drove them back to his apartment, and they ended up playing video games for the rest of the afternoon. When dinner time came around, Soobin made them ramen, kimchi, and fried spam for dinner. He couldn’t whip up anything more elaborate, since he was lacking in cooking skills. 

When they finished eating dinner, Soobin realized that he unfortunately didn’t want Beomgyu to leave. 

“Do you wanna stay the night again?” he asked, a bit hesitant. 

Beomgyu’s cheeks turned pink. “Oh, um, sure…”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Soobin said quickly.

Beomgyu looked up at him with those devastating doe eyes. “No, I want to.”

Soobin swallowed thickly. Fuck, what was he going to do? His heart was racing. No girl had ever made him feel the way Beomgyu did—nervous and flustered. It was frustrating, but Soobin couldn’t possibly stay away from the man. He was down bad. 

It became a habit for Beomgyu to stay over Soobin’s apartment. They went out frequently, and even spent time together on campus studying in the library and grabbing food at the dining hall. Soobin avoided Jae and Doyun on campus and still hadn’t responded to their texts or calls. But he had started talking with Yejun again.

“You can’t keep avoiding them forever,” Yejun said one Tuesday evening. They were walking to the dining hall to meet Beomgyu and Eunae for dinner.

“Yes I can,” Soobin said. It had been a month since the incident at the diner, and he hadn’t uttered a word to Jae or Doyun. 

Yejun sighed. “Come on, Bin,” he said. “You can’t throw away such a long friendship.”

Soobin frowned. “Did you forget the way they treated Beomgyu at the diner?” he said. “They haven’t even apologized. In fact, I’ve read some of their texts and they don’t even think they did anything wrong. They think I’m being dramatic by being mad.”

“Be honest with me,” Yejun said. “Do you like Beomgyu?”

Soobin stopped walking. “W-What?”

Yejun stopped walking too and turned to face him. “Do you want to date him?”

Soobin swallowed thickly. “N-No, where did you get that idea? I’m straight, you know that.”

Yejun raised an eyebrow. “I’ve seen the way you two interact,” he said. “You definitely act like more than friends.” 

Soobin felt his heart rate increase and his palms clam up. Was that what everyone thought? That he was dating Beomgyu or had a crush on Beomgyu? That he was gay ? 

“Well we’re just friends and I don’t like him,” Soobin said sharply. “I’m not gay.”

Yejun put his hands up in surrender. “Okay, geez. I was just wondering.”

They started walking again. 

“It wouldn’t be an issue if you did like him though,” Yejun said. “I honestly don’t care who you like. You should know that.”

Soobin’s jaw tightened. “Thanks, but I don’t like him that way. He’s my friend.”

Yejun shrugged, but didn’t say anything after that.

When they arrived at the dining hall, Soobin was in a sour mood from his conversation with Yejun. He was worried that other people thought he was crushing on Beomgyu. 

“Hey hyung,” Beomgyu greeted him with a smile as they sat down at a booth with their food.

“Hey,” Soobin mumbled, avoiding Beomgyu’s gaze.

Beomgyu’s smile faded. 

Soobin instantly felt guilty. “You look cute,” he blurted out. He winced when Yejun shot him a knowing look.

“Doesn’t he?” Eunae said with a beam. “I dressed him!”

Beomgyu blushed. He was wearing a pale pink silky button-up top with the top two buttons undone. He was wearing his usual glittery makeup, blush, and lip gloss. 

Soobin raised an eyebrow. “Oh? Well you did great. He looks pretty.” He tried to ignore Yejun’s stare.

“Th-Thanks,” Beomgyu mumbled. He tucked a strand of his hair behind his ear.

Soobin lightly bumped his leg against Beomgyu’s under the table.

Beomgyu smiled shyly.

Soobin was relieved that Beomgyu was smiling again. 

They began to chat as they ate their food. Beomgyu didn’t talk much; Soobin noticed that the man became shy in front of others. Soobin did his best to get Beomgyu to speak by directing questions to him. But Beomgyu would only give a short answer. It might’ve been that he was a little uncomfortable with Yejun there. 

“Yejun isn’t going to judge you,” Soobin said when they left the dining hall. They’d decided to head to the library together to do homework. 

Beomgyu stared down at the cobblestone pathway as they walked. “I don’t know,” he mumbled. “After your other friends were rude to me, I’ve become more cautious around others. Even if they pretend to be nice to me, who knows what they’re saying about me behind my back. I’m sure he still talks to your other friends, doesn’t he?”

“Yeah, he does,” Soobin said with a sigh.

“See?” Beomgyu said. “I can never feel comfortable around him. Not when he’s friends with homophobes.”

“I’m not talking to Jae or Doyun,” Soobin said quickly. “Just so you know. After the way they treated you at the club and diner, I’m disgusted with them. I haven’t talked to them since the incident at the diner.”

Beomgyu smiled. “That means a lot to me, hyung,” he said. 

Soobin smiled back.

“You…seemed a little upset when you came over to the table earlier,” Beomgyu said, a bit hesitant. “Is everything okay?”

Shit. Soobin was hoping Beomgyu wouldn’t ask about that.

“It’s nothing,” Soobin said quickly. “Yejun thinks I should talk to Jae and Doyun again since we’ve been friends for so long, but I don’t want to. I was annoyed with him for even suggesting it, that’s all.” It wasn’t entirely a lie, that had happened. 

“Oh,” Beomgyu said. “Well, I think you’re doing the right thing. Those guys aren’t worth your time anyway. You’re so much better than them.” 

Soobin smiled amusingly. “Yeah?”

Beomgyu nodded. 

They arrived at the library and chose a table towards the back corner. They spent the next couple of hours working on their homework.

The following couple of weeks followed a similar pattern—Soobin and Beomgyu meeting up with Yejun and Eunae on and off campus. Soobin continued to invite Beomgyu over to his apartment frequently. Beomgyu often stayed the night. As the semester progressed, the pair grew closer.

Soobin convinced himself he was happy with the way things were. He could spend time with Beomgyu as a friend and satisfy his growing obsession with the man. He continued to ignore Jae and Doyun, until the two men stopped contacting him. Life was pretty good.

But it didn’t last, because Soobin fucked up, and he fucked up bad . 

It was a rainy evening, and Beomgyu was over Soobin’s apartment.  They were on the couch in the living room, watching a movie with a blanket over their legs. Their arms and legs were touching, and Soobin tried to ignore the sparks of electricity he felt from the touch.

The movie they were watching was a feel-good romance. Soobin regretted picking it at random. Didn’t it send the wrong message? Well, he’d been sending the wrong message the entire time, because Beomgyu confessed.

“H-Hyung, I have to tell you something,” he whispered while the movie was still playing. He was nervously fiddling with the oversized sleeves of Soobin’s crewneck he was wearing.

“Yeah?” Soobin asked, his eyes still on the screen.

“I-I like you.”

Soobin froze. He slowly turned to stare at Beomgyu’s blushing face. “You…what?” he said, hoping he’d heard wrong.

Beomgyu’s leg started bouncing anxiously. “U-Um, I said I like you…”

“As a friend?” Soobin asked sharply. “Because I like you as a friend.”

Beomgyu winced. “N-No,” he whispered, gradually growing more insecure. “A-As more than a friend.”

Soobin didn’t know what came over him, but suddenly he was furious. “I offer to be your friend and this is how you repay me?” he spat without even thinking. “By trying to get with me?”

“N-No!” Beomgyu said quickly. “I-I wasn’t trying to get with you, I swear! I-I started having feelings for you along the way and thought you deserved to know. And I-I thought maybe…you might’ve liked me too.”

“Well I don’t,” Soobin said in a harsh tone. “I’m not gay and you’ve made me really uncomfortable.”

Tears welled up in Beomgyu’s big brown eyes. “I-I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I-I didn’t mean to. I-I can ignore my feelings! I swear!”

Soobin shook his head. “It’s too late,” he said. “You should leave.”

Beomgyu looked devastated.

Soobin felt like he was trapped inside his mind, watching the scene play out before him. He felt like he had no control over what he said and did.

Why am I saying these things? he wondered. He hadn’t yet admitted to himself how much Beomgyu meant to him, but he’d find out soon enough, because he’d ruined everything . Beomgyu would probably never want to talk to him again.

“I-I’m sorry,” Beomgyu whispered. There were tears falling fast down his cheeks. Even when he cried he looked like a porcelain doll.

“I said leave ,” Soobin said, his voice rising. 

Beomgyu flinched and quickly stood up, brushing the blanket off of him. He grabbed his bag from beside him on the floor and swung it over his shoulder. He hadn’t brought a jacket, since the plan was that he was staying the night.

Soobin fought the urge to offer him his own jacket. 

Beomgyu hung his head, his cheeks reddened and covered in tears. Then he hurried to the front door near the kitchen and disappeared into the rain. 

Soobin sat on the couch, numbly, long after he’d heard the door close. He tried to go over everything that had just happened. 

Beomgyu liked him, but Soobin was straight, he had to be straight. But then…why hadn’t Soobin thought of anyone but Beomgyu the past couple of months? Why didn’t he have any interest in girls lately? Was there something wrong with him? His whole life he’d been into women. He couldn’t possibly like men all of a sudden. He hadn’t even entertained the idea until Beomgyu came along.

It’s all his fault, Soobin thought. If he hadn’t transferred to my university, I wouldn’t be in this mess. 

Even if Beomgyu had ignored his feelings and never confessed, Soobin would’ve felt better. But no, he had to confess to Soobin as if Soobin would’ve returned the confession. 

He has to know I’m straight, Soobin thought. But as he replayed in his mind some of the moments they’d shared together, he realized that he had led Beomgyu on quite a lot. But he didn’t really want to admit that to himself.

I shouldn’t have gotten so close to him, Soobin thought as he slowly stood from the couch. I should keep my distance from now on. I need to find a girlfriend to distract me. 

He slowly walked to his bedroom and stared at his bed. Then he turned and went to the bathroom to wash up. Beomgyu’s toiletries were in a cup next to Soobin’s. When Soobin went to bed that night, the left side of the bed smelled like peonies.

Soobin sat down at his usual spot in his art history class, but he placed his bag on the chair next to him, hoping Beomgyu got the hint.

Beomgyu arrived at the last minute. He looked disheveled. His hair was messy, he had dark circles under his eyes, and he was wearing a black surgical mask. Instead of his usual bright, pastel and feminine clothes, he was wearing gray sweatpants and a black oversized crewneck. His glasses were perched on his nose, and Soobin noticed that the man’s eyes were red.

Beomgyu hesitantly walked over to Soobin, but when he spotted Soobin’s bag on the chair, he slowly walked away. But not before glancing back at Soobin.

Soobin could see the hurt in Beomgyu’s eyes, but he tried to ignore it. 

He struggled to get through the class, and when Professor Lee dismissed the class, he was rushing out the door. He didn’t want to risk Beomgyu approaching him.

Soobin continued to avoid Beomgyu over the next couple of days. Beomgyu texted and called him constantly, but Soobin never answered. Eventually, Beomgyu stopped trying.

Soobin still kept an eye on Beomgyu from a distance on campus. As he did, he felt himself feeling worse about what he did to the man. 

A few weeks blew by and Beomgyu looked thinner and thinner. The bags under his eyes darkened, and he’d completely stopped wearing the clothes Soobin adored on him. Beomgyu only wore gray and black those days. Soobin was worried about the man. Was Beomgyu eating all of his meals? Getting enough sleep? The more time Soobin spent away from Beomgyu, the more he missed him. He missed spending time with him and missed having the pretty man sleep beside him in bed most nights. Even though Soobin was still friends with Yejun, he found that he felt lonely without Beomgyu in his life. He’d quickly grown attached to the man, and with that came an increasing regret of what he’d done. But he was still terrified of considering himself anything but straight, so he didn’t try to do anything to fix the mess he’d made. 

“You can’t be straight if you like a man,” Yejun said to Soobin one evening. 

They were seated in the campus dining hall for dinner. Soobin had really needed some advice, so he’d decided to come clean to Yejun about his obsession with Beomgyu. 

“But…” Soobin started to protest, then trailed off. He didn’t have a response.

“Dude, it’s okay,” Yejun said. “I support you.” 

Soobin actually believed Yejun, since the man had ended up cutting ties with Jae and Doyun too.

All of a sudden, Eunae stormed over to their table. “What did you do to Beomgyu?” she said to Soobin. “He never leaves his room!”

Soobin opened his mouth, then closed it.

“They’re having some issues,” Yejun said. “But they’ll work it out. Right, Soobin?”

Soobin stared down at his lap. “Yeah,” he said quietly.

“You better apologize for whatever you did,” Eunae said, crossing her arms. “Beomgyu is like the sweetest person ever.” 

“Yeah, he is,” Soobin said with a sigh. And I’m an asshole who hurt his feelings and broke off our friendship because I’m terrified that I might have feelings for a man.

Soobin decided that he would try to fix what he’d done the following day, since he had his art history class with Beomgyu and it gave him the perfect opportunity. 

The next day, he left the chair next to him open when he got to class. But when Beomgyu came, he walked right past the seat and all the way to the back of the lecture hall, where he’d been sitting the past couple of weeks. 

Soobin sent Beomgyu a quick text before the lecture began

Me: hey, can we talk? meet me after class? 

He waited anxiously for Beomgyu’s reply. Beomgyu’s last message to him was from weeks ago—

Beomgyu: hyung I miss you :( please don’t ignore me

Soobin swallowed thickly. He felt horrible for the way he’d treated Beomgyu. All because he was a coward.

The class ended, and he still hadn’t gotten a reply from Beomgyu. He waited for Beomgyu to walk down the steps to leave and quickly followed behind him.

“Beomgyu!” he called.

Beomgyu started walking faster down the stairs.

“Beomgyu, can we talk?” Soobin said as he hurried after him.

Beomgyu practically ran down the last few stairs and darted out of the room.

Soobin sighed. Of course Beomgyu wouldn’t be willing to talk to him. He’d been an asshole. Beomgyu probably didn’t trust him anymore.

Soobin stepped out into the hallway and looked around to see where the man had gone. He spotted him down the hall by the front doors of the building. Two men were towering over him. Soobin felt his heart drop to the pit of his stomach when he realized it was Jae and Doyun. He hurried down the hall towards them. The closer he got to them, the more he could make out of what they were saying. 

“You ruined our friendship with Soobin,” Jae spat. “For nothing, because now Soobin wants nothing to do with your gay ass. You’re a fucking freak.”

“Y-You can have him back,” Beomgyu whispered, taking a step back. “H-He doesn’t like me anymore.”

“You think it’s that easy?” Doyun said. “You ruined a long-term friendship, you little bitch. You’re gonna pay for that.”

Beomgyu looked between them with a frightened look on his face.

No one stopped to help him.

“Hey!” Soobin called as he finally reached them. 

He was too late. A loud smacking noise rang through the air. He saw Beomgyu stumble and fall back on his butt. There was a red handprint on his cheek. 

“That’s what you get,” Jae said. He kicked Beomgyu in the side. “Pathetic.”

Soobin saw red. Before he knew what he was doing, he landed a punch in Jae’s face. 

“Fuck you!” Jae shouted as he stumbled back, spitting blood out on the floor. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you!” Doyun said, his nostrils flaring. 

“You better leave or you’re going to get punched too,” Soobin warned him.  

Doyun backed away, glaring at Soobin. He might’ve been a fighter, but Soobin could be a fighter too, and he was much taller than Doyun. Soobin had the advantage in a fight.

“Go to hell,” Doyun gritted out, grabbing Jae’s arm and dragging him away.

Soobin immediately knelt down by Beomgyu’s side. His heart ached when he saw the red mark on Beomgyu’s cheek. 

Beomgyu was clutching his side, and there was a pained expression on his face.

“Beomgyu,” Soobin said softly. 

Beomgyu turned his head away.

“Let me help,” Soobin pleaded. He reached out to scoop Beomgyu up.

Beomgyu resisted, trying to crawl away.

But Soobin wrapped his arms around Beomgyu and lifted him with ease. He stood up and carried Beomgyu out of the building. Students stared at them, but Soobin didn’t care. All he could think about was getting Beomgyu to his apartment so he could tend to the man’s injuries.

Soobin walked to his car in the parking lot outside of the library. He set Beomgyu down in the passenger’s seat and strapped him in. Then he got into the driver’s seat and started off towards his apartment.

“Everything’s going to be fine,” Soobin said. He glanced at Beomgyu worriedly. 

Beomgyu had his body turned so he wasn’t facing Soobin. 

Soobin heard a sniffle and felt like his heart was breaking. “We’ll talk later,” he said. 

When they arrived at his apartment, he helped Beomgyu inside, even though the man tried to push him away.

“Don’t be difficult,” Soobin had said.

Beomgyu gave up struggling and let Soobin help him.

Soobin sat Beomgyu down on his bed and pressed an ice pack wrapped in paper towels to Beomgyu’s red cheek.

Beomgyu winced.

“I know, it hurts,” Soobin murmured. “I’m so sorry, Beomgyu. Jae and Doyun are assholes. I can’t believe I was friends with them.”

Beomgyu didn’t reply. He stared off to the side, silent tears rolling down his cheeks.

“Listen,” Soobin said softly. “I really want to talk later. I want to properly apologize to you for the way I acted.”

Beomgyu remained silent. 

“Can you hold this on your cheek?” Soobin asked. “I want to get some ice for your side.”

Beomgyu just reached up to hold the ice pack in place, still refusing to speak.

Soobin went to the kitchen to retrieve another ice pack from the freezer. He returned to his room and gently pressed it to Beomgyu’s side.

“If they ever bother you again, they’re dead,” Soobin said. “I won’t let them lay a hand on you.” 

Beomgyu stared at his lap, tears continuing to silently fall down his cheeks. 

Soobin hesitantly reached out to wipe them away, but dropped his hand before he touched Beomgyu’s cheek. “Why don’t you sit back?” he said. “And relax.”

Beomgyu didn’t move.

“Beomgyu,” Soobin said softly. “Please?”

Beomgyu slowly inched further on the bed, wincing at the pain in his side. He leaned back against the pillow, his body stiff.

Soobin sighed. “I’ll get you some water,” he said. “Continue to ice your cheek and side. I’ll be right back.” He went to the kitchen to retrieve a glass of water for Beomgyu. When he returned, he cautiously took a seat next to Beomgyu on the bed. 

“I’ll order us takeout for dinner later,” Soobin said. He inched a bit closer to Beomgyu. “If it wasn’t obvious, you’re staying the night. I’m not letting you out of my sight.”

Beomgyu let out a small, dry laugh. “Don’t act like you care,” he finally spoke. 

Soobin winced. “I’ve been a total asshole,” he said. “But I never stopped caring about you, Beomgyu. I’m a coward, a shitty friend, and a horrible person for what I did to you. I’m so sorry.” 

Beomgyu didn’t respond.

“I led you on, I know I did,” Soobin said. “The stuff we did together…friends don’t do that. I knew that. But I still gave you hell when you fell for me. I hate myself for it, Beomgyu. You’re really important to me and these past weeks without you have been horrible.”

Beomgyu finally turned to look at him. His brown eyes were filled with sadness. 

Soobin finally worked up the courage to brush Beomgyu’s tears away with the back of his hand. “Please don’t cry,” he murmured.

Beomgyu’s bottom lip trembled. 

Soobin gently caressed the side of Beomgyu’s face. “You told Jae that I don’t like you anymore,” he said. “But that couldn’t be further than the truth. The truth is, I like you too much, and that scared me. So when you confessed, I panicked and lashed out at you like the idiot I am.”

Beomgyu stared at Soobin with wide, watery eyes. He looked so adorable, Soobin had to fight the urge to kiss Beomgyu’s pouty lips.

“I want you in my life,” Soobin said, dropping his hand to rest on Beomgyu’s, which was holding the ice pack to his hip. “I know it’s a lot to ask, but could you forgive me?”

Beomgyu fumbled with a loose thread on the gray crewneck he was wearing. “I-I don’t know,” he mumbled. “Y-You made me feel awful.” 

“I know,” Soobin said. “And I’m so, so sorry. There’s nothing wrong with you liking me.”

“D-Doesn’t it make you uncomfortable?” Beomgyu whispered brokenly.

“No,” Soobin said immediately. “I know I said it did, but it doesn’t.”

Beomgyu seemed to be contemplating that. “Okay,” he finally said after a few moments of silence.

“Okay…?”

“I’ll forgive you,” Beomgyu said quietly. “For now.”

Soobin smiled. He couldn’t help but feel relieved—he hadn’t lost Beomgyu. “Thank you,” he said. “I promise I’m going to be a better friend.”

It hurt a little to say “friend,” but Soobin wasn’t ready to confess to Beomgyu yet. He’d already said he liked the man too much, which he probably shouldn’t have admitted yet. Beomgyu was probably still mad at Soobin, even if he said he would forgive Soobin. Soobin didn’t want to overwhelm Beomgyu with a confession. Besides, he was still wrapping his head around the fact that he wasn’t straight. In fact, he wasn’t exactly sure what he was. He was still into women, so did that mean he was bisexual? He didn’t know much about other sexualities.

“Wanna watch a movie?” Soobin asked. “You should keep icing for at least thirty more minutes.”

Beomgyu nodded.

Soobin grabbed the remote off the bedside table and turned the TV on. He selected a random movie and settled back against the pillow behind him. 

It was quiet between them during the movie. When the movie finished, it was later in the afternoon, so Soobin ordered their dinner. He wished he could cook something nice for Beomgyu, but he was terrible at cooking. It was safest for him to order food.

The food only took twenty minutes to arrive, and soon, they were eating their food on Soobin’s bed. Soobin watched Beomgyu attentively, making sure the man ate. Beomgyu had lost a lot of weight the past couple of weeks, and he was already thin to begin with. Soobin would make sure Beomgyu ate all of his meals from that point on. 

“You can borrow some of my clothes,” Soobin said as he picked up the room temperature ice packs from the bedside table where Beomgyu had put them. “You can help yourself to my closet.” He brought their trash and the ice packs into the kitchen to dispose of and put away. 

When he returned to the bedroom, he saw that Beomgyu hadn’t moved.

“Here,” Soobin said as he dug into his closet and pulled out a spare pair of flannel pajamas. He handed them to Beomgyu.

Beomgyu hesitantly took them. 

“You can get ready first,” Soobin said. “Your toiletries are still in there.” He would never get rid of them. That would’ve implied that Beomgyu wouldn’t ever come over again.

Beomgyu stood up from the bed and went into the bathroom. He only took fifteen minutes to wash up and change before he returned to the bedroom. 

“I won’t be long,” Soobin said as he grabbed his own set of flannel pajamas from his closet and stepped into the bathroom. He rushed to brush his teeth and do his skincare. Then he hurriedly changed into his pajamas and stepped back into the bedroom.

For some reason, he’d expected Beomgyu to have left. Soobin didn’t really trust that Beomgyu forgave him. But Beomgyu was sitting on the bed with his hands clasped on his lap. He looked nervous.

“Are you tired?” Soobin asked as he walked over to the other side of the bed and plopped down on it.

Beomgyu immediately stood up. 

“Hey, what are you doing?” Soobin asked.

Beomgyu swallowed thickly. “I-I can sleep on the couch,” he whispered.

Soobin’s eyebrows furrowed. “What are you talking about? We can share the bed, like we always do.”

Beomgyu shook his head. “I-I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

Soobin’s heart ached. He hated himself for making Beomgyu believe that he made Soobin uncomfortable. 

“You won’t,” Soobin said. “You don’t. Sit back down, Beoms. Come on.” The nickname slipped out, but he didn’t mind. He liked it.

Beomgyu hesitated.

“Please?” Soobin said. “I want you to stay here with me.”

Beomgyu’s cheeks heated up, but then he looked sad all of a sudden.

“What’s wrong?” Soobin asked.

“Y-You always play with my heart,” Beomgyu whispered as he slowly sat back down. “Y-You say things that…that give me the wrong idea.”

Soobin tugged the covers over their bodies. “How do you know you have the wrong idea?”

Beomgyu looked at him with wide eyes. 

“You look tired,” Soobin said. “Let’s get some sleep. We’ll talk about this another time.” He laid back, resting his head on the pillow. 

Beomgyu followed suit. He was still staring wide-eyed at Soobin.

Soobin smiled. “Get some rest, okay?”

Beomgyu nodded. 

Soobin pulled the covers up over Beomgyu’s shoulder. “Goodnight,” he said.

“G-Goodnight.”

Soobin closed his eyes. He thought it might be hard to fall asleep since Beomgyu was in his bed again after so long and he was very nervous. But the sweet smell of peonies managed to lull him to sleep. 

Soobin woke up early the next morning to make a nice breakfast. His cooking skills might’ve been terrible, but he could always pull together a good breakfast. He made bacon, scrambled eggs, and baked some chocolate chip muffins. When he was done, he set the table and then returned to his bedroom.

Beomgyu was still sleeping peacefully. He looked so pretty with his long lashes dusting his cheeks and plump pink lips in a slight pout. 

Soobin resisted the urge to place kisses all over Beomgyu’s doll-like face.  He slowly sat down on his side of the bed and watched Beomgyu sleep. He felt like a creep, but he couldn’t take his eyes off the man.

Beomgyu’s eyes suddenly blinked open. He looked up at Soobin and his cheeks reddened when he realized Soobin was staring at him. 

“Good morning,” Soobin said. He couldn’t stop himself from reaching out to gently brush Beomgyu’s bangs out of his eyes. 

Beomgyu’s blush deepened.

“Pretty,” Soobin murmured. When he realized what he’d said, he quickly withdrew his hand and cleared his throat. “Um, I made breakfast. You can come to the kitchen when you’re ready.”

Beomgyu slowly sat up. The top two buttons on the flannel pajama shirt Soobin had given him were unbuttoned, exposing his honey-toned collarbone.

Soobin swallowed thickly. He tore his gaze away from Beomgyu’s collarbone and stood up. “I‘ll be in the kitchen,” he said. He turned around and hurried out the door. He walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table, burying his face in his hands. He’d never desired someone as much as he desired Beomgyu. And he’d never desired a man either, so it was both new and terrifying for him.

Soft footsteps trailed into the kitchen. “H-Hyung?” a tiny voice said.

Soobin dropped his hands from his face and looked up to see Beomgyu standing there. He looked adorable, practically drowning in Soobin’s pajamas. “Yeah?” Soobin said.

“Y-You looked distressed…” Beomgyu mumbled as he hesitantly walked over to the table and sat down next to Soobin.

“I’m fine,” Soobin said quickly. “I made muffins. Eat up.” All of the food was spread out on the table.

Beomgyu stared at it with wide eyes, but didn’t make a move to get any food.

“You need to eat,” Soobin said as he put a muffin, a few pieces of bacon, and scrambled eggs on Beomgyu’s plate. He then made his own plate.

Beomgyu stared at Soobin.

“What?” Soobin said, feeling his cheeks heat up. 

Beomgyu averted his gaze to his plate. “W-When are we gonna talk about…last night you said…” 

Soobin felt his nerves heighten. He hadn’t wanted to talk about it so soon. Admitting out loud that he was down bad for Beomgyu was much different than admitting it to himself, which was hard enough. But he couldn’t keep ignoring his feelings, especially knowing that Beomgyu liked him. It would be unfair to keep stringing Beomgyu along, making him wait for an answer.

“Eat your breakfast,” Soobin said. “We’ll talk in my room when we’re done washing up, okay?”

Beomgyu nodded and began eating. 

Soobin was relieved to see the man eating. Beomgyu had seriously grown too thin. “Were you taking care of yourself?” he couldn’t help but ask.

Beomgyu stiffened.

“You weren’t, were you?” Soobin said with a sigh. 

Beomgyu avoided Soobin’s gaze. “I-It was hard,” he whispered. “B-Because you wanted nothing to do with me, a-and I lost my only friend. I-It felt like there was really no one h-here who supported me.”

“Beoms…” Soobin murmured. He gently rested a hand on Beomgyu’s thigh.

Beomgyu’s cheeks reddened and he sniffled. “I-I missed you,” he said weakly.

Soobin fought the urge to bundle Beomgyu up in his arms and never let go. “I missed you too,” he said softly. “And I can’t tell you enough how much I regret what I did.”

It fell silent between them then, and they focused on eating their breakfast. Soobin kept his hand on Beomgyu’s thigh, rubbing it comfortingly. 

When they were done eating, Soobin sent Beomgyu to the bedroom to get ready while he cleaned up the kitchen. By the time he was done clearing the table and washing the dishes, Beomgyu had finished washing up and changing. He was seated on Soobin’s bed in the clothes Soobin had left for him on the bathroom sink.

“I won’t be long,” Soobin said as he grabbed some clothes from his closet and stepped into the bathroom. He quickly changed and washed up. He stepped out of the bathroom when he was done.

Beomgyu had curled up into a ball on the bed, his knees to his chest and his arms wrapped around his legs. He glanced up at Soobin and watched as Soobin walked over to the bed.

Soobin smiled, despite how nervous he felt. He needed to appear confident to Beomgyu. 

“S-So…” Beomgyu mumbled as Soobin sat down on the bed next to him.

“Okay,” Soobin said, taking a deep breath. “I haven’t told you this, but I knew about you well before we met in class.”

Beomgyu tilted his head to the side. “B-Because I’m the only gay person at the university and people talked about that, right?”

Soobin winced. “Well, yes,” he said. “But it was different for me. When I first saw you, I was shocked at how pretty you were. I thought you were prettier than any woman I’d seen. That freaked me out quite a bit. But I thought you were so pretty that I paid extra attention to you, even though we didn’t know each other. I got a little obsessed.” “A little” was an understatement, but Beomgyu didn’t need to know that.

Beomgyu’s eyes widened, but he didn’t say anything.

Soobin laughed nervously. “You see, I’ve always been straight,” he said. “Well, I thought I was. I’d only ever been attracted to girls and I’ve only ever dated girls. And you know the type of friends I was surrounding myself with. Jae and Doyun wouldn’t have accepted me being anything but straight. That’s why they were obsessed with me getting a girlfriend when I started hanging out with you. They were probably worried you’d turn me gay or something.”

Beomgyu frowned.

“Which was ridiculous,” Soobin said quickly. “And irrelevant, because I’ve finally admitted to myself that I like you, Beomgyu. I don’t care if that means I’m not straight anymore. I just…I can’t get you out of my head.”

Beomgyu’s eyes watered and his cheeks heated up. “B-But…when I confessed…”

“I know, I was an asshole,” Soobin said. “I lied and said you made me uncomfortable. But that couldn’t be further from the truth, Beomgyu. I was scared, and I still am a little. I’ve always thought I’m straight, and you’re the first guy I’ve ever been attracted to. I didn’t have anyone to talk to about it.”

“You could’ve talked to me,” Beomgyu mumbled.

“I know,” Soobin said. “But since you’re the object of my obsession, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. When you confessed, I freaked out. The whole time we were friends, I kept convincing myself that it was enough. Hanging out with you as friends was enough. Everyone would still think I was straight, and I still got to spend time with you. I realize now how fucked up it was for me to think like that.”

“B-Being gay isn’t embarrassing,” Beomgyu whispered. “O-Other people act like it is to make gay people feel ashamed.”

“You’re right,” Soobin said. “I was being stupid and…homophobic.” It hurt to say it, but it was the truth. Soobin had been gaslighting himself into thinking he was Beomgyu’s only ally, when really, he hadn’t been any better than Jae and Doyun. But that would all change.

“But I like you, Beomgyu,” Soobin said, hesitantly reaching out to grab Beomgyu’s hands. “I don’t care about what people think of me or what they label me as anymore. I want to be with you.”

Beomgyu swallowed thickly. “Y-You’re serious?” he whispered.

“Yes,” Soobin said immediately.

“P-People on campus might make fun of you too.”

“I don’t care,” Soobin said. “We’ll have each other, and that’s enough for me. And we still have Yejun and Eunae too. Eunae was actually really worried about you.”

Beomgyu smiled a small smile. “She’s the best,” he said quietly.

Soobin smiled. “So…will you be my boyfriend?” he asked. “I know it’s a lot to ask after I was so terrible to you. I promise I’ll make it up to y—”

“Yes,” Beomgyu cut Soobin off, a shy smile on his face. “I’ll be your boyfriend. But you better make it up to me.”

Soobin’s smile widened. “I will.” He released Beomgyu’s hands to pull him into a hug. His heart pounded rapidly, and he still felt nervous. But he felt much better now that he’d admitted to Beomgyu that he liked him. He couldn’t believe he had a boyfriend. The thought made him feel giddy inside. 

Beomgyu pulled back and looked up at Soobin. “Y-Your friends are going to bother us when they find out.”

“They’re not my friends anymore,” Soobin said. He ran his fingers through Beomgyu’s soft brown hair. “And don’t worry about that. I won’t let them get anywhere near you.”

Beomgyu blushed and leaned back in, burying his face in Soobin’s chest.

Soobin looked down at the man with a fond smile on his face. He’s mine, he thought. Beomgyu is mine. It didn’t feel real.

“What are we doing today?” Beomgyu mumbled into Soobin’s shirt.

“Whatever you want to do,” Soobin said.

“I wanna stay here with you.”

Soobin’s smile widened. “Sounds good to me.”

They spent the whole day cuddling in bed, watching TV and chatting. It was so nice feeling Beomgyu’s warmth beside him and smelling peonies again. He’d missed Beomgyu so much. 

When dinner time came around, Beomgyu insisted on cooking. Soobin watched the man with fascination. He found out very quickly that Beomgyu was a damn good cook. He made them japchae, boiled pork, and kimchi on the side. Soobin hadn’t had home-cooked meals in so long. 

“You’re a really good cook,” Soobin said while they ate.

Beomgyu smiled, a bit bashful. “My mom taught me how to cook.”

“She must be amazing too, then,” Soobin said.

Beomgyu beamed. “She is! I miss her cooking a lot.” He looked a little sad after he said it.

“How long has it been since you’ve been back to Daegu?” Soobin asked.

“A little over a year,” Beomgyu said softly. “I miss my family.”

Soobin hated the sad expression on Beomgyu’s face. “Well, summer is coming up,” he said. “Aren’t you going home?”

Beomgyu looked at him with wide eyes. “I…I don’t know,” he said. “I thought I’d stay in Seoul with you.”

Soobin’s heart skipped a beat. “You don’t have to do that,” he said. 

“Were you going to go home?” 

Soobin shook his head. “I was just going to stay here and work,” he said. “I plan on moving here after I graduate anyway. But really, Beomgyu. You should be with your family.”

Beomgyu hesitated, nervously fiddling with the sleeves of Soobin’s shirt that he was wearing. “U-Um…you could come with me to Daegu…”

Soobin froze. Beomgyu wanted Soobin to go to his hometown with him and meet his family? 

“S-Sorry, that’s weird,” Beomgyu blurted out. “W-We just started dating. I shouldn’t have suggested it.”

Soobin reached out to rest a hand on Beomgyu’s thigh, rubbing it gently. “No, it’s okay,” he said. “It sounds fun. And I could meet your family.”

Beomgyu smiled shyly. “You don’t think it’s moving too fast?” 

Soobin shrugged. “Even if it is, who cares?” he said. “We know we like each other, and it’s not like we just met each other yesterday. Besides, summer is still a few months away.”

Beomgyu nodded. “Right,” he said. “I’ll let my family know when it gets closer to the end of the semester.” 

Soobin was already feeling nervous and excited. Just a few days ago, they were still not talking. Now, he was dating Beomgyu and in a few months, would meet his family.

Maybe they were moving too fast, but Soobin didn’t want them to slow down.  

Beomgyu’s fear came true—Jae and Doyun did bother them. 

It was the following Monday, and they were revealing their relationship to everyone on campus for the first time. Soobin drove them to campus and held Beomgyu’s hand on the way to their art history class. Students’ heads turned and everyone was staring at them.

Soobin couldn’t lie—he was nervous as fuck. But he wasn’t ashamed. He wouldn’t let others make him feel ashamed for being with the person he liked.

“E-Everyone is staring,” Beomgyu whispered. “I-I’m sorry…”

Soobin gave Beomgyu’s hand a squeeze. “Why are you apologizing? Let them stare, I don’t care.”

Beomgyu looked up at him with wide eyes.

“I knew it.” An all-too-familiar voice from behind them made them pause in the hallway. 

They were in the building that their class was in but they hadn’t made it to the door before Jae and Doyun came to pester them.

Soobin turned around to stare at them blankly. “What?” he said flatly.

“So he did turn you gay,” Jae said, a disgusted look on his face. “I should’ve known the second you started hanging out with him that you’d end up just like him. No normal person would willingly hang out with a gay dude.”

Soobin clenched his jaw. “Shut the fuck up,” he seethed. “You’re such a child. What does our sexuality have anything to do with you? At least I have a boyfriend. When was the last time you had a girlfriend, Jae? Girls avoid you now because they see how much of an arrogant asshole you are.”

Jae’s face turned bright red.

“Watch your mouth,” Doyun snapped.

Soobin scoffed. “I’m not scared of you two,” he said. “You’re pathetic losers with nothing better to do than judge others. I’m sorry I didn’t realize that sooner. I would’ve stopped being friends with you shitheads a long time ago.”

Jae lunged at Soobin but Doyun held him back.

“We’re in an academic building, dude,” he muttered to Jae. “There are cameras.”

“That’s right,” Soobin said with a satisfied smile. “Attack me for no reason and you could get an academic misconduct. Not like it would matter for you two since you’re failing all your classes, but why rush the expulsion? Now, if you’ll excuse us, we need to head to class.” He turned around and resumed walking to the lecture hall, tugging Beomgyu along behind him.

“Are you okay?” he asked Beomgyu when they were far from Jae and Doyun.

Beomgyu nodded. He was gripping Soobin’s hand tightly. 

Soobin smiled comfortingly at him. “Don’t worry, Beoms,” he said. “I’ve got you.”

Beomgyu blushed. 

Thankfully, Jae and Doyun didn’t bother them again the rest of the day. In fact, they avoided Soobin and Beomgyu over the next couple of days. Soobin was convinced they wouldn’t approach Beomgyu and him again. He hoped so. He didn’t want things to get ugly in front of Beomgyu. Soobin had been very prepared to fight either one of the men. 

With Jae and Doyun out of the way, Soobin could fully enjoy his time with Beomgyu. Beomgyu had started staying over Soobin’s apartment frequently again, but more so than before. When they were on campus, they walked to class and ate lunch together. They still received judgmental stares, even disgusted stares, but Soobin didn’t care. Every time he looked at Beomgyu’s pretty face and saw his pretty smile, everything else seemed insignificant. Soobin was falling fast.

When Friday rolled around, Soobin decided it was time he took Beomgyu out on their first official date as a couple. He chose a nice Italian restaurant that was a twenty minute drive from campus.

“This place is so fancy,” Beomgyu said as he took in their surroundings with wide eyes. The plush red carpet, red velvet seats, and golden chandeliers gave the restaurant a royal feel. 

“Yeah, it is,” Soobin said. And for that reason, he’d dressed up in a white button-up, black tie, and black dress pants.

Beomgyu looked devastatingly beautiful in a lavender-colored, long-sleeved silk blouse and black dress pants. He’d patted his hair on his forehead and wore his usual glitter eyeshadow. He’d also added glitter to his cheeks which were dusted in pink blush. His plump lips were covered in pink shimmery gloss. He looked so delectable that Soobin wanted to eat him.

“You look gorgeous,” Soobin said.

Beomgyu blushed. “Th-Thanks,” he stuttered. “You look really handsome.”

Soobin smiled. “Thanks,” he said. 

Their waiter came then to take their orders. Soobin insisted that Beomgyu order whatever he wanted from the menu, regardless of the price. It was Soobin’s treat. Beomgyu ended up settling on the butter and sage ravioli and Soobin chose the pesto gnocchi. 

After the waiter left with their orders, they struck up conversation again.

“So…” Beomgyu trailed off.

Soobin took a sip of his chardonnay. “Yeah?”

“You were serious about coming to Daegu with me this summer, right?” Beomgyu said. He looked a little nervous.

“Of course,” Soobin said. He really didn’t want to go the whole summer without Beomgyu.

“I-I was going to tell my parents about us soon,” Beomgyu said, his cheeks heating up. “Is it too soon? Even if summer is still a few months away…”

“I don’t think so,” Soobin said. “But you don’t have to tell them we’re dating yet if you don’t want to.”

“No, I do,” Beomgyu said quickly. “They’re supportive, and I want them to meet my first boyfriend.” 

Soobin smiled. “I’m your first boyfriend?”

Beomgyu’s face was bright red. “M-Maybe…”

“Well, you’re my first boyfriend too,” Soobin said. He leaned over the table and gazed into Beomgyu’s big brown eyes. 

Beomgyu glanced around them nervously. “P-People are staring, hyung…”

“So?” Soobin said. “They can’t make us leave. I’m a paying customer.”

“Y-You aren’t embarrassed?”

Soobin leaned back. “Beomgyu, what’s this about?” he asked. “You’re always stressing about people staring at us.” It was true. Beomgyu had been acting very paranoid lately.

“I-It’s just that…I don’t want you to deal with the same crap I do,” Beomgyu mumbled.

Soobin’s heart ached. “Don’t worry about that,” he said. “I’m not even paying attention to them when I’m with you.”

Beomgyu looked at him with wide eyes. “R-Really?” 

“Really,” Soobin said. He reached across the table to grasp Beomgyu’s hand and give it a gentle squeeze. “Right now, I’m really happy because I’m with you. I don’t care what other people think of our relationship. I’m sick of hiding my feelings to please others.”

Beomgyu swallowed thickly. He opened his mouth to reply, but just then the waiter came with their food. 

Everything smelled delicious, and they immediately started eating. They talked about random things, like their classes and plans for Daegu.

“I can’t wait to show you everything,” Beomgyu said, a big smile on his face. “Daegu is so pretty.”

“I can’t wait,” Soobin said, smiling back. He was excited, but he was also very nervous. Would Beomgyu’s parents disapprove of Soobin going to Daegu with Beomgyu because they hadn’t been dating for very long?  

When they were done eating their dinner, they ordered a chocolate mousse with raspberry syrup for dessert. They were full and satisfied by the time they left the restaurant.

“You’re going to stay over tonight, right?” Soobin said as he started driving them to his apartment.

Beomgyu nodded. 

Soobin felt giddy inside. Even though Beomgyu stayed over often, Soobin still got excited every time. 

“I forgot to ask,” Beomgyu suddenly said. “Are you going to tell your parents about our relationship? And, um, your sexuality?”

Soobin hesitated. “Um, not yet.”

Beomgyu stared down at his lap. “Are you embarrassed?” he asked quietly.

“Of course not,” Soobin said. “I told you I wasn’t earlier, remember? But I don’t know if my parents are going to be as supportive as yours. Don’t get me wrong, they love me a lot, but they’re very traditional and religious.”

“Oh,” Beomgyu whispered.

Soobin glanced at him worriedly. “Beoms, it’s going to be okay,” he said. “I’ll tell them soon, promise. And I’m sure they’ll love you. You’re easy to love.”

Beomgyu blushed. “S-Stop,” he whined, covering his face in embarrassment.

Soobin laughed. “You’re so cute.” He pulled into the parking lot of his apartment complex. He turned the car off and turned to face Beomgyu. He hadn’t planned anything else for the night, but there was one thing he wanted to do—kiss Beomgyu. He’d been fantasizing about kissing those plump, glossy lips for far too long. 

“W-What?” Beomgyu stuttered, dropping his hands from his face.

Soobin’s gaze fell to Beomgyu’s glossy lips and he swallowed thickly. “I wanna kiss you,” he said honestly. 

Beomgyu’s blush deepened. “O-Oh,” he choked out.

Soobin suddenly feared he was moving too fast and had made Beomgyu uncomfortable. “Sorry,” he said quickly. “We should head inside.” He turned to open the car door, but Beomgyu grabbed his wrist.

“Wait,” Beomgyu said. “I-I want to too…”

Soobin slowly turned back around and stared at the pretty man. 

Beomgyu looked bashful and a little nervous. He avoided Soobin’s gaze. 

Soobin boldly reached out to cup the side of Beomgyu’s face, tilting his head up and forcing the man to look at Soobin. Soobin leaned in, closing the distance between them. 

When they were mere centimeters apart, Beomgyu’s breath stuttered. Soobin could see each piece of glitter on his honey-toned skin. Beomgyu’s long lashes dusted his cheeks as his eyes fluttered closed, then Soobin was pressing their lips together.

And fuck , was kissing Beomgyu a thousand times better than any of the kisses Soobin had shared with past girlfriends and hookups. Beomgyu’s lips were sticky from the gloss, and they were warm and plump. Soobin resisted the urge to bite down on Beomgyu’s bottom lip. Instead, he kept the kiss innocent, because he wasn’t sure what Beomgyu liked. His nose was flooded with the smell of peonies and he felt that he could kiss Beomgyu for days straight.

When they pulled back, they were out of breath. Beomgyu’s lips were red and his pupils were dilated. He looked so incredibly fuckable, but Soobin did his best to practice self restraint. 

“How was that?” he breathed.

“I-It was perfect,” Beomgyu stuttered.

“We need to get inside before I pin you down in the backseat,” Soobin said as he opened the car door.

“H-Hyung!” Beomgyu squeaked, covering his face in embarrassment.

Soobin laughed. “Come on, babe,” he said, the pet name slipping out. “You must be tired.”

Beomgyu stared at Soobin for a moment, in awe, before he opened the car door on his side. 

The pair made their way to Soobin’s apartment door, and Soobin unlocked the door, stepping aside to let Beomgyu in.

“W-Were you serious about the th-thing in the car?” Beomgyu stuttered as he followed Soobin into his bedroom. 

Soobin glanced over his shoulder with a smile. “Dead serious.”

Beomgyu’s face was bright red and he rushed past Soobin, locking himself in the bathroom.

Soobin couldn’t help but laugh again. Teasing his cute boyfriend was too fun. 

Two Months Later 

“H-Hello,” Soobin stuttered as he dragged his suitcase to the door of Beomgyu’s parents’ house. He’d arrived in Daegu earlier that day, and was picked up at the airport by Beomgyu and his older brother.

Beomgyu’s mother smiled warmly at him. “So this is my son’s boyfriend,” she said. “Beomgyu can’t stop talking about you every time he calls.”

Soobin blushed, and Beomgyu whined to his mother about how she was embarrassing him.

“Please treat my cookie well,” Beomgyu’s father said. He grabbed Soobin’s suitcase and brought it inside the house. Beomgyu had returned to Daegu a week before Soobin, so he was already settled in. 

Beomgyu’s mother ushered them inside, and Soobin took in the house Beomgyu grew up in. There were a lot of windows that allowed natural light to flood the rooms. Neutral colors made up the color scheme—beige, white, and light brown. The house had an open concept, so the living room and kitchen were visible from the foyer. It was modern, but homey. Soobin noticed various potted plants in both the kitchen and living room, lining window sills and resting on counters and tables. It was a very cozy space. 

“What do you think?” Beomgyu asked.

“It’s really nice,” Soobin said. 

Beomgyu smiled. “Let me show you my room.” He grabbed Soobin’s wrist and dragged him up a wooden staircase that was down the hallway. The upstairs had a long hallway with a few doors on each side. Beomgyu’s was the second on the left.

“Ta-da,” Beomgyu said as he opened the door. 

Beomgyu’s room was very him. There was a bookcase with a record player and collection of vinyls, a full-sized bed with a pale pink blanket thrown over it and multiple teddy bears on it, posters of the Korean singer IU on the walls, a white dresser across from the bed with a TV on it, a closet to the left of the bed, and a door beside it that most likely led to the bathroom. A fuzzy pink rug was beside the bed and there were two pink bean bags on the floor in the middle of the room. Beside the bed was a white wooden nightstand, a large window, and further down was a white desk and chair. The walls were painted lavender purple, and the room smelled like peonies.

“I-I know it’s a little girly,” Beomgyu said, a look of insecurity on his face.

“It’s adorable,” Soobin said. “I love it.”

Beomgyu lit up. “You do?” 

Soobin nodded, and Beomgyu smiled. 

There was suddenly a knock at the door, and Beomgyu’s brother came in with Soobin’s suitcase. Soobin thanked him profusely, desperate to please Beomgyu’s family. 

“We’re heading out to the market,” Beomgyu’s brother said. “Do you guys wanna come?”

Soobin hesitated. He was a bit tired from getting up so early to go to the airport, but he did want to explore Daegu. 

“Not today,” Beomgyu said. “Soobin hyung looks tired. We’ll have plenty of time this summer to show him around the city.”

His brother nodded and bid them goodbye before leaving the room. 

Beomgyu waited until they heard the front door open and close and the car start in the driveway before he grabbed Soobin’s wrist and dragged him to the bed. “We’re home alone!” he said. He sat down and tugged Soobin with him.

Soobin smiled. “What do you want to do?” 

Surprisingly, Beomgyu crawled onto Soobin’s lap and cupped Soobin’s cheeks. “Kiss you,” he said. His cheeks turned pink and he seemed to be shy, despite the bold move he’d made.

Soobin rested his hands on Beomgyu’s hips. “Oh yeah?”

Beomgyu nodded.

“Then kiss me.”

Beomgyu hesitantly leaned in until their lips were brushing together.

Soobin closed his eyes and sighed when Beomgyu’s lips finally pressed against his. His grip on Beomgyu’s hips tightened. He could taste the sweet vanilla lip balm on Beomgyu’s lips. God, he wanted to bite Beomgyu’s plump lips so badly. He parted his lips a bit, testing the waters. When Beomgyu didn’t pull back, Soobin gently bit on the man’s lower lip. Beomgyu gasped and Soobin took the opportunity to slip his tongue into Beomgyu’s mouth.

Even Beomgyu’s saliva tasted sweet. It seriously wasn’t fair how perfect Beomgyu was. 

Soobin tilted his head to the side slightly, deepening the kiss. His tongue was deep in Beomgyu’s mouth, dragging along Beomgyu’s tongue and exploring the man’s mouth.

Beomgyu’s body weakened and Soobin released Beomgyu’s hips to wrap his arms around Beomgyu’s waist, tugging him closer. He pulled back so they could catch their breath. 

Beomgyu was panting, his cheeks flushed and lips red and slick with saliva.

Soobin could feel himself growing hard at the sight and knew Beomgyu could feel it too from sitting on his lap.

“H-Hyung,” Beomgyu breathed. “I-I wanna…”

“What do you want?” Soobin asked, a bit breathless. His cock throbbed in his jeans.

“I-I want to please you.”

Fuck . What was Soobin supposed to do with him? 

“You want to please me?” Soobin said.

Beomgyu nodded. 

Soobin ran his fingers through Beomgyu’s soft hair. His hair had gotten a bit longer, and he looked so pretty with longer hair. Soobin pressed a kiss to Beomgyu’s forehead, then his temple, then trailed kisses down the side of Beomgyu’s face until he reached his neck. He sucked a mark on Beomgyu’s neck.

Beomgyu sighed at the feeling. 

Soobin pulled back. “How are you going to please me?”

Beomgyu crawled off of Soobin’s lap and knelt down on the floor in front of him. He looked up at Soobin with his big doe eyes, innocently.

Soobin swallowed thickly. Fuck, Beomgyu wanted to blow him? “Are you sure, babe?” he said softly.

Beomgyu nodded rapidly.

Soobin reached out to pet Beomgyu’s hair before he stood up and unbuttoned his jeans. He tugged his jeans down, then sat back down. He slipped his fingers into the waistband of his briefs and pulled his cock out. His cock was hard and heavy already, red and leaking at the tip. Just the sight of Beomgyu after they’d kissed was enough to ruin him. 

Beomgyu scooted closer on his knees until he was between Soobin’s legs. 

Soobin was a bit worried, because he wasn’t sure if Beomgyu had given a blowjob before and Soobin was bigger than average.

Beomgyu grabbed Soobin’s cock at the base and gave it an experimental squeeze.

Soobin inhaled sharply, and his cock twitched from the motion.

Beomgyu leaned down and licked at the precum oozing from the tip. He lapped at it like a kitten.

Soobin groaned. “F-Fuck.”

Beomgyu then dragged his pretty pink tongue up the entire length, then dragged his tongue along Soobin’s balls.

Soobin closed his eyes and threw his head back, biting his lip hard enough to draw blood. Beomgyu was fucking good.

Beomgyu finally wrapped his lips around the tip, slowly pushing down and taking in as much of Soobin’s cock as he could. Tears brimmed his eyes and he choked a little when the tip brushed the back of his throat, but he endured it and started to suck. He bobbed his head as his lips slid up and down Soobin’s length. When he reached the tip, he pressed his tongue against the slit before sliding down to the base again.

A string of curses were coming out of Soobin’s mouth as pleasure rippled through him. He gripped Beomgyu’s hair and couldn’t help but buck his hips.

Beomgyu moaned, and the vibration drove Soobin insane.

He bucked his hips again, fucking into Beomgyu’s mouth as he held the man’s head still with his hand in Beomgyu’s hair. 

Beomgyu took it, even when he choked a bit. 

“I-I’m gonna come,” Soobin warned as he felt the familiar build up of pleasure.

Beomgyu stayed put, tightening his lips around Soobin’s cock.

“B-Beoms…” Soobin moaned. He wanted to pull out, but it was too late. He came so hard his vision went blurry momentarily. 

Beomgyu swallowed down Soobin’s cum, even licking Soobin’s cock clean when he popped off. He sat back on his heels and looked up at Soobin. There was cum and saliva on his red, swollen lips. “Did I do good?”

Soobin was panting from his orgasm. “You did fucking amazing.” He grabbed Beomgyu’s hand and tugged him onto the bed. “Now it’s my turn.” He stuffed his cock back in his briefs and pulled his jeans back up. He pinned Beomgyu to the bed and hovered over him.

Beomgyu looked up at him.

Soobin pressed his thumb to Beomgyu’s lips, smearing cum and saliva over them. “How long is your family going to be gone?”

“M-Maybe a few hours…”

Soobin smiled. “Perfect.”

When Soobin had agreed to go to Daegu with Beomgyu, he hadn’t expected that the first thing he’d do is fuck Beomgyu at his parents’ house. But that was exactly what he did.

After the mind blowing orgasm Beomgyu had given him with that blowjob, Soobin was feeling incredibly horny. He knew they needed to be quick, but he wanted Beomgyu to have a good time. It was Beomgyu’s first time, after all.

Soobin had stripped Beomgyu down and savored every inch of Beomgyu’s honey-toned body. His soft stomach, his sculpted thighs, his perky nipples. Soobin sucked and bit anywhere he could, until Beomgyu was covered in marks.

It wasn’t long before Soobin had stripped too. Thankfully, he had lube and condoms in his suitcase. Not that he was expecting to have sex with Beomgyu in Daegu, but it was always better to be prepared.

He warmed Beomgyu up with his fingers, stretching him wide until Beomgyu was gasping and begging for more. Then he’d slipped the condom on his cock, coated the outside in lube, and pushed inside Beomgyu’s tight, wet heat. 

Fucking Beomgyu was incredible . The little whimpers and gasps he made, the fluttering of his long lashes as his eyes closed in pleasure, the soft pleas that fell from his plump, moist lips. 

Soobin couldn’t resist the urge to kiss those lips again, not caring that his cum was on them. He fucked Beomgyu at a steady pace, hitting his sweet spot each time. He grabbed Beomgyu’s red and leaking cock, pumping it in time with his thrusts until Beomgyu was crying out and cumming in Soobin’s hand. Soobin came shortly after, filling the condom with cum. 

But he didn’t stop there. He pulled out and propped Beomgyu’s legs up so his knees were bent and his feet were planted on the mattress. He spread Beomgyu’s legs and leaned down, digging his tongue into Beomgyu’s loosened hole. He tongue-fucked Beomgyu’s hole until the man was coming again. Soobin licked Beomgyu’s cock clean of cum before hovering over him with a smirk.

“How was that for your first time?”

Bwomgyu’s face was red and his hair clung to his forehead. “Y-You’re…insane…”

“Is that a good thing?”

All Beomgyu could do was nod before his body went limp with exhaustion. 

“We better hurry and clean up before your family gets back,” Soobin said with a smile. “Hyung will help.” He stood up and scooped Beomgyu up, carrying him to the bathroom. He started a warm bath for them using one of Beomgyu’s strawberry bath bombs, and then they soaked in it together.

“You might be sore tomorrow,” Soobin warned Beomgyu.

Beomgyu leaned back against Soobin’s chest. “Don’t care,” he said. “I feel like I’m in heaven.”

Soobin laughed. “You’re so adorable, you know that?”

Beomgyu smiled and snuggled closer to Soobin. “I know.” 

When they finished washing up, they changed into clean clothes which then resulted in Soobin just unpacking all the shit in his luggage. Beomgyu changed the sheets and blanket on his bed, throwing the dirty ones in the washer in the laundry room at the end of the hall. 

“They’re going to be onto us,” Beomgyu mumbled a little while later. They were cuddling on his bed, and he was seated between Soobin’s legs, leaning back against Soobin’s chest.

“Damn, they’re going to think I’m an animal or something,” Soobin said. “I get some time alone with you at your own house and fuck you. I’m screwed.”

Beomgyu giggled. “Don’t worry about it, hyung,” he said. “My parents like you a lot because I’ve spoken highly of you.”

“I hope you’re right.”

“Of course I am.”

They remained that way for a while, until they both drifted to sleep. 

Life with Beomgyu in Daegu was amazing. Soobin ate dinner with Beomgyu and his family every night, and they talked animatedly about everything. Beomgyu took Soobin around the city, showing him the tourist spots and the spots locals liked. He also showed Soobin his favorite shops and cafés.

Since Beomgyu’s family had been so welcoming and kind to him, Soobin decided to call his own family and tell them the truth.

“Eomma,” Soobin said on the phone one night. He was in bed waiting for Beomgyu, who was in the shower, and had decided to make the call. 

“Ah, Soobinie. You haven’t called in a while.”

Soobin had missed the sound of his mother’s voice. “I’m sorry,” Soobin said. “I’ve been really busy.”

“But it’s summer. Why didn’t you come home?”

“I told you, I’m in Daegu,” Soobin said. He’d texted his parents his summer plans towards the end of the semester, but hadn’t mentioned Beomgyu.

“You should’ve come home. Your father and I miss you.”

Soobin swallowed thickly. “I know,” he said. “I miss you too.” A soft, chilly breeze from the open window blew in and caressed Soobin’s face. He could hear the crickets chirping outside. The sun had set an hour ago and the sky was a deep purple, littered with bright stars.

“Listen,” Soobin said after taking a deep breath. “I wanted to tell you something. Is abeoji around?”

“He is. Do you want me to get him?”

“Yes, I want to talk to both of you,” Soobin said. His heart was racing.

There was some shuffling and murmuring, then, 

“Hello?” 

Soobin’s heart ached at the sound of his father’s voice. His parents were getting older, he could hear it in their voices, and Soobin really needed to go home and see them soon.

“Hey,” Soobin said softly. “Eomma, you’re still there?”

“Yes,” his mother said.

“What’s wrong, Soobinie?” his father asked.

Soobin swallowed thickly. His palms had clammed up, and he had to grip his phone tighter or else he’d drop it. “Um, I have to tell you guys something,” he said. “I’m not just in Daegu on vacation. I’m here with someone.”

“You have a girlfriend?” his mother asked immediately. She sounded excited.

Soobin was filled with dread. “Um, no,” he mumbled. “Actually…I have a boyfriend.”

It was silent on the other end. All Soobin could hear was the pounding of his own heart. After a few moments, he couldn’t take it anymore.

“He’s the best,” he said. “He’s so sweet and caring. He invited me here to stay with him and his parents for the summer. How could I say no? We were in an art history class together last semester. That was how we met. We’re total opposites; we don’t like the same things but we get along so well.” He paused his rambling, waiting for a response. 

“Soobin…” his mother said softly.

Soobin squeezed his eyes shut. “I-I thought I was straight,” he said. “I tried to be straight. I tried to ignore my feelings for him and I ended up fucking things up but he forgave me and now we’re together and I don’t ever want to leave him again. His name is Beomgyu and I like him so so much. And I don’t know what my sexuality is anymore but I don’t care because I just want to be with him and I hope you guys can—”

“Soobinie, it’s okay,” his father said. 

“We support you, hunny,” his mother said. “You’re our son, of course we will. Is this why you avoided calling us for so long?” She made a “tsk” noise.

“Y-You support me?” Soobin whispered.

“Of course,” his father said. “We love you, son. If this Beomgyu boy makes you happy, then we’re happy.”

Tears welled up in Soobin’s eyes. He hadn’t expected his parents to support him. They were traditional and religious, and those types of people usually hated gay people. But his parents supported him. His heart swelled.

“I’m going to come home soon to see you guys,” he said. “I promise. Before the semester is over, I’ll be there.”

“We can’t wait,” his father said.

“And bring Beomgyu,” his mother said. “We want to meet him.”

A few tears slipped down his cheeks. “I will.” He bid them goodnight shortly after, then let out the breath he’d been holding. He felt like a heavy weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

Beomgyu stepped out of the bathroom then. When he saw the tears on Soobin’s face, he instantly became worried and rushed to the bed. “Are you okay?”

Soobin nodded. “I called my parents and told them about us,” he said.

Beomgyu’s eyebrows furrowed. “And…?”

“And they support me.”

Beomgyu’s eyes widened. “Hyung, that’s great!” He threw his arms around Soobin, hugging him tightly.

Soobin wrapped his arms around Beomgyu, hugging him back. He breathed in the smell of peonies. “They want to meet you,” he said. “So maybe the week before classes we could go to Ansan and stay there for a few days?”

Beomgyu pulled back and smiled. “I’d love that.”

Soobin felt a surge of happiness and he pulled Beomgyu back into the hug. “I’m so happy,” he mumbled into Beomgyu’s soft hair.

“Me too,” Beomgyu said. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, hyung.”

“And you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

They pulled back and shared a tender kiss.

“Is it too soon to say I can see myself spending the rest of my life with you?” Beomgyu asked.

Soobin shook his head. “Who cares,” he said. “I want you in my life forever.” It wasn’t like they cared what anyone else thought anyway.

The pair snuggled up under the covers, enjoying each other’s warmth. The room was chilly from the open window, but neither moved to close it and block the fresh air from coming in. 

As Soobin laid there with Beomgyu bundled up in his arms, he realized there was no place he’d rather be. Right there with Beomgyu, gazing out the window at a star-filled sky, Soobin felt truly at peace. He wasn’t worried about defining his sexuality or facing the judgmental students when they returned to campus in the fall. Nothing mattered, as long as he had Beomgyu beside him.

“Goodnight, babe,” he murmured to Beomgyu, but the man had already drifted to sleep. Soobin settled back and closed his eyes. Then he drifted into a deep sleep, and dreamed of brown eyes and peonies.