Chapter Text
The following day Nick was a little brighter. The fever had broken and the doctors were pleased that there had been no lingering side effects. Nick was sat up in bed, in his new room on the HDU, watching the door. His mum should be back soon. She’d popped home to change and have some breakfast. She said she’d be bringing David with her. And that Charlie would visit after school. He didn’t like being by himself. Though the doctors and nurses and physios kept him busy. He’d already had a session with the physio this morning who had informed him that it was time to think about getting him up and about and walking. His head hurt just thinking about it. But to be honest he was ready to be a bit more independent. Use the bathroom like a regular person. They were removing his catheter later today and then the plan was to get him out of bed and standing. A terrifying thought if he was being honest with himself.
As he waited Nick’s mind wandered. He still had enormous gaps in his past. He had started to remember tiny snippets here and there. Little moments would flit across his mind and then vanish, like they were made of vapour and he couldn’t quite grasp them and hold onto them. He’d woken up in the middle of the night, confused and disoriented and for a moment he’d thought he was back at home. He had a clear vision of his room, his double bed and the sloping ceiling. He had fairy lights in his room, he remembered that. His mum had been snoozing beside him and when he’d told her what he remembered she had started to cry. Happy tears she promised. She told him he was right and that it was more progress. He also remembered Nellie now, his amazing, wonderful dog. He missed her and wished he could have her here to keep him company. He knows she’d be at the bottom of his bed, keeping his feet warm, if she could be. Charlie had become a more solid memory too. He knew how important he was in his life. He didn’t remember large details but it was enough for now.
“Morning Nick,” one of the regular nurses, Zara, breezed into his room, rubbing hand sanitiser in between her fingers. “How are you this morning?”
“Um, I’m ok.” He said quietly giving her a small smile. “My head hurts a bit, but it’s not so bad today.”
“Hmm,” Zara was busy noting down readings on his chart. “Your temperature is nice and normal today. I can give you a little pain relief if you like?” Nick shook his head carefully, “it makes me so tired and like a zombie. I want to remember more and I can’t when my head is fuzzy from the medicine.”
Zara sighed and sat down beside him, “I get it Nick, I promise I do. But just be patient with yourself. Your brain has been through a tremendous amount and I know it might not feel like it but you have made SO much progress since you woke up.” At the frown on Nicks face she continued, “I mean it Nick. Some patients wake up and aren’t so fortunate. You have your voice back, we are working on your strength. The memories……they will come when they are ready. You can’t force it.”
Nick let out a huff of exasperation, “I know. I know I’m doing well, I just…..I want to go home.” He felt tears pricking his eyes and angrily swiped them away. “God I feel like I’m always on the verge of crying.”
Zara handed him a tissue, “it’s a normal reaction to what’s happened to you. Now answer me again, do you need any pain Relief?”
Nick bit back a smile, “maybe something not too strong?” She grinned at him, “you got it. “ she disappeared and was back quickly with a small paper cup containing two tablets. “It’s just paracetamol, let’s see if that takes the edge off for you.”
Nick put the tablets in his mouth and with a little help from Zara, managed to wash them down with water. “Thank you,” he said quietly. She patted his leg, “no problem. If that doesn’t do anything, push the call button and I’ll get you something stronger ok?” He nodded at her and she smiled and bustled out the room, onto the next patient.
Sarah was back with him by lunch time, with David trailing behind her. He was scrolling on his phone as they sat down. “David put that phone away and talk to your brother.” David looked sheepish as he pocketed his phone. “Sorry. I was just looking at my uni emails. I’ve got a couple of deadlines before Christmas but I should be able to do it all remotely. We break up next week for the holidays anyway…..”
Nick watched him intently. “I’m sorry.” He said. David looked at him in surprise, “what are you sorry for?”
Nick looked down at his lap. “You are missing school for me.”
David snorted, “it’s fine. Honestly. They’ve given me extensions. I’ll go back up there next week to pack up for the holidays, but really it’s fine.” He hesitated, “I’d rather be here. To keep an eye on you, and help mum out.” His cheeks flushed, Nick wasn’t sure why he was embarrassed to admit that. “But what about your Christmas parties and stuff?”
“Nick, just drop it. I promise it’s fine.” He hesitated and then sat down next to Nicks bed. “Look. I know your memory is a bit shit at the moment but at some point you’re going to remember that….well,” he ran his hands through his hair, “I’ve not always been that great of a brother to you.” Nicks eyes widened, he didn’t remember that. He knew that he felt on edge when David was around, like his body instinctively reacted to him, but he thought he was being paranoid. “I want to be better,” David continued, “I want to show up for you. Getting the call from mum I was sure it was just you making a fuss about nothing…and then when I saw how poorly you were it really made me think. If you’d have died and that had been how I had treated you I don’t think I’d ever forgive myself.” He made eye contact with Nick, his face sincere and serious. “I’m going to be a better big brother to you. I know when your memories all come back you’ll not want to spend time with me, and I get that. But I’m sticking around, I want to prove to you that I want this. A relationship with you. If you do.”
Nick blinked slowly. It was a lot to take in. His mum was sniffing quietly on the other side of the bed, clearly overwhelmed with the conversation she’d just heard. He didn’t know what to say. How bad had David been to him? Should he forgive him? What wa he meant to say?
“Um, I don’t remember what it was like before,” he said softly. “But I know you’ve been here and been helping mum out. Which is more than my dad has done. I guess if I remember something I’ll talk to you about it? I want a big brother.” He blushed slightly as he admitted that and subconsciously braced himself for a sarcastic remark. But David beamed at him, a proper gin. “Sounds good to me.” He said holding out his fist for a fist bump which Nick slowly reciprocated.
After lunch the doctor came by to update them on the next steps. “So I am really pleased with how we are getting on. I’m going to remove your catheter Nick. It’s high time we got you up and about.” At the look of panic on Nicks face he continued. “We will take it slowly. You are ready for this. It’s the next step to getting you home ok?” Nick nodded. A few minutes later, Sarah and David had been sent to the canteen to give Nick some privacy while they carried out the procedure. Nick tried not to feel embarrassed as the catheter was removed. He knew that his dignity had gone out the window since being admitted and that it was nothing the doctors and nurses hadn’t seen before. But still his cheeks were flushed afterwards. It did feel nice not to have the tubing anymore. He felt more free. The only thing left on him now was a port in his arm ready to receive any medicine. Other than that he was free. He was joined by the physio, Danny, who was very jolly and seemed far too excited at the thought of taking him to the toilet. “Ok mate, we are going to get up and walking to the bathroom. You are going to do your business in there and then back to bed. Easy peasy ok?” His jovial manner was infectious and Nick found himself nodding in agreement. “Right,” Danny declared, lowering the rails on the bed. We will swing your legs round and get the blood to where it needs to be before you stand up. Slow and steady ok?” Despite his informal chatter and attitude, Danny obviously knew what he was doing. He helped Nick to move to the edge of the bed and his feet touched the floor for the first time in weeks. As Nick tried to get used to the sensation and the pins and needles in His legs as the blood rushed south, Danny popped grippy socks onto his feet. “Give your toes a wiggle for me,” he said watching carefully as Nick managed to make his toes move. “Fantastic. Good job! You feel like standing?” Nick swallowed. His legs felt tingly and weird, but he didn’t feel in pain or anything. “Ok,” he whispered.
Danny stood in front of him and guided him up into a standing position. Nick felt really wobbly and his head swum with dizziness from being up in a different position. But he took a shaky breath, and then another as he got to grips with standing. At that moment Sarah and David returned from the canteen. Sarah clapped her hand to her mouth in shock. “Oh my baby,” she cried, her other hand reaching blindly to grab David’s hand. “Look at you!”
Nick didn’t trust himself to turn his head to his mum but he managed a wobbly smile as he stood there. “Hi mum,” he said softly. Danny grinned at her, “we are upright mum! All going well.” Sarah allowed the happy tears to fall. She didn’t dare ever imagine seeing him up and about. It felt like an early Christmas miracle. They watched as Nick kept himself steady, it was obviously taking a lot of effort. They were joined by a second physio who introduced himself as Rob. He came in wheeling a wheelchair. “Ok Nick,” Danny smiled at him, “we are going to take the few steps to the bathroom. Rob will follow behind with the chair. Any problems, we will sit you down ok?” Nick gave a short nod. Danny held him carefully by the arm and they began to take small, careful steps towards the bathroom. Nick was extremely grateful that the room had an en suite and it was only a matter of six steps to reach the door. Still by the time they reached the door he was sweating, his legs were wobbly and he really needed a sit down. “Yes!” David gave him a round of applause as he reached the bathroom and Nick very carefully held onto the doorframe. “Fantastic job Nick,” Danny squeezed his shoulder, “we will get you set up in here. You can have a little rest before we come back.”
After using the bathroom, which felt amazing, so much nicer than having the catheter in, Nick hobbled slowly back to bed. By the time he sat back on the edge of his bed he was completely exhausted. He couldn’t believe walking about 15 steps had worn him out so much, that his eyes closed the second his head hit the pillow. Danny turned to Sarah. “That was amazing.” He said, obviously proud of his patient. “You can tell he’s an athlete, he’s so determined. That’s going to be crucial for his physical recovery.” Sarah smiled, “he’s amazing.” She agreed. “Thank you so much.” Danny gathered up his things, “not at all, it’s what I’m here for. I’ll see you guys later.” He left and Sarah looked at David. “He’s getting better,” she smiled, “he’s going to be ok.” David hugged her tightly. “Yeah. He is,” he replied quietly.
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Charlie was amazed when he got the text from Sarah to say that Nick had been up and walking. He was playing Mario with Tori and paused the game to read the message, a smile spreading across his face. “What?” Tori stared at him intently. “Nick got out of bed. Sarah said he walked to the bathroom and back.” He beamed as he replied to the text. “That’s great news Charlie,” Tori said genuinely. “It’s amazing.” Charlie replied. “I can’t wait to see him later.” Tori sipped her lemonade quietly. It was good to see Charlie smiling for the first time in ages. She was worried about him. Obviously she was worried about Nick. But Charlie would always be her number one priority and she could see he was finding this situation difficult. She glanced at the clock on the wall. It was coming up for 3pm. Had Charlie eaten lunch? She wasn’t sure. She didn’t want to nag him, he had been doing so well with his recovery. “What time are you heading there?” She asked. “Oh, dad is dropping me at 5.” Charlie sighed, chucking his phone next to him. “Ok. Shall I make us a snack now? Before you go?” She watched the range of emotions cross his face before he finally agreed. “Yeah sounds good. Thanks Tori.” She squeezed his arm as she got up from the lounge floor. “Always” she replied. Charlie laid back and stared at the ceiling. His mind was whirling with the fact that Nick had walked, actually up and out rope bed. Was there a chance he’d be home for Christmas after all?
Sarah walked in to the main entrance of the hospital. This place, the place that had become a big part of her life over the last few weeks. She wondered how much longer this would go on. Would she be able to bring Nicky home anytime soon? He was making fantastic progress. Yes, the fever was a setback and it was scary but he was fighting every day. He was getting stronger day by day. The catheter was removed and he was able to get himself to and from the loo with support. The next step would be removing the feeding tube. The coordination skills were taking a bit of time and she’d ended up having to help him with the spoon, much to his embarrassment but the Doctor continuously informed them that Nick was doing brilliantly. These things would all take time. He’d suffered a serious brain injury. The main thing was he was still here. He was coherent and he was determined. Sarah paused just inside the automatic doors, taking a moment before heading towards the lifts. She’d learned over the last almost 2 months that rushing never helped. Not here. Not with recovery. Not with fear. Everything happened in its own time now, measured in small victories and long waits. She pressed the button and watched the numbers climb, her reflection staring back at her from the brushed metal walls. She looked tired— older, but there was something steadier in her eyes that there had been at the start of all this. Shock has given way to routine. Terror had softened into vigilance. The doors opened onto the ward she knew by heart. She smiled instinctively when she heard his voice before she even reached the room.
“…I can do it,” Nick was saying, frustration thick but familiar. “I just need a second.”
Sarah stepped inside to find him sitting up in bed, tongue poking out slightly in concentration as he worked the spoon towards his mouth. The contents wobbled dangerously. “Alright, careful.” Charlie said gently from the chair beside him, hands hovering but not touching. He’d perfected that balance— being there without taking over. Nick shot him an annoyed look. “I know.” The spoon tipped and a bit of yoghurt landed on the blanket. Nick groaned. “Great! I nailed it..” Sarah crossed the room. “That blankets seen worse.” She said lightly, grabbing a tissue. “Morning, love.” Nick looked up, his face immediately softening. “Hi, mum.” There were days when he still sounded younger than seventeen. Days when the injury pulled him backward instead of forward. The doctors said that was normal. Sarah reminded herself of that constantly. “How’re you feeling today?” She asked, smoothing the blanket before sitting on the edge of the bed. Nick shrugged, then winced slightly as if the movement surprised him. “Tired. But…okay, they said if I mange lunch without the tube feed, they might take it out soon.” Sarah beamed. “That’s huge.” Charlie nodded in agreement. Nick nodded, pride flickering through the lingering exhaustion. “Yeah.” Sarah reached out and squeezed his hand. It was warmer now than it has been in weeks ago, stronger too. He squeezed back— still not as firmly as before, but enough. “I told you.” She said softly. “You’re doing brilliantly.” Nick hesitated, then said quietly. “I don’t always feel like I am.” Sarah met his eyes. “You don’t have to feel it for it to be true, darling.”
There was a knack at the door, and the physiotherapist popped her head in, cheerful as ever. “Ready for a walk later, Nick?” Nick groaned dramatically. “Do I have a choice?” She laughed. “Not really.”
When she left again, Charlie stood, stretching. “I’m going to grab a cup of tea. Anyone want anything?” Nick shook his head. “I’m good.” Sarah reached into her purse. “Could you get me a coffee, sweetheart.” She said before pushing a ten pound note in to Charlie’s hand before he had a chance to protest. As the door closed behind Charlie, a brief silence settled. Nick fidgeted with the edge of the blanket. “Mum?” “Yes?” Sarah replied softly. “I had a dream last night.” He said slowly. “I was…I was running. Properly running…on the rugby field, and I didn’t feel scared or tired or like my head was full of fog.” Sarah swallowed hard. “That seems like a nice dream, baby.” He nodded. “I woke up and it felt really far away.” Sarah reached up and brushed his hair back gently. “Dreams don’t disappear, sweetheart. They wait..” Nick leaned in to her touch without thinking, eyes closing for just a second. “Do you think….i’ll get back there? Playing rugby I mean.” Sarah didn’t answer immediately. She had learned that false certainty helped no one. “I think.” She said carefully. “That you’re already on your way, and however long it takes, you won’t be doing it alone.” Nick opened his eyes again, emotion shining there, unguarded and raw. “Promise?” He asked, childlike. “I promise.” Sarah said, without hesitation.
When Charlie returned, balancing three hot drinks, despite only going to get two. Nick was smiling, small, but real. Another moment logged away. Another step forward. Seven weeks ago, Sarah hadn’t known how she would survive this. Now, watching her son laugh softly at something Charlie said, she understood something vital. This wasn’t just about getting Nick home from the hospital. It was about building a new way forward, slowly, carefully, together.
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Sarah watched Nick swing his legs carefully over the side of the bed, his movements slow and deliberate, like he was negotiating with gravity rather than trusting it. His trainers sat neatly on the floor, laces already loosened by Charlie earlier. “You don’t have to rush.” Sarah reminded him for the third time. “I’m not rushing.” Nick replied, though the effort in his voice betrayed him. “I’m…pacing myself.” Charlie hid a smile, crouching to help guide Nick’s foot in to the shoe when it wobbled slightly. Nick flushed but didn’t pull away. Once upright. Nick stood still for a moment, eyes closed, breathing through the strange sensation of being vertical longer than a few seconds. He’d been on a few short walks through out the last week and a bit but this was the first time he was putting on trainers and would be properly leaving the ward. The physiotherapist hovered close, one hand ready and his elbow. “Okay?” She asked. Nick nodded. “Yeah…just feels weird.” Sarah felt her heart hammer in her chest as he took small step by step. She always had the daunting fear of him falling. Each step echoed too loudly in the quiet corridor.
Charlie walked beside him, matching his pace exactly, not a fraction faster. “You’re doing great,” he said softly. Nick huffed. “You always say that.” “That’s because it keeps being true.” Charlie responded. Halfway down the long corridor, Nick faltered. His grip tightened in Charlie’s hand, his breathing quickening. “I need a second,” he said quickly, panic edging into his voice. “Of course.” Sarah said immediately. “You’ve got all the seconds you want.” Nick stared at the floor, grounding himself, fingers flexing as he fought the dizziness. A nurse passed them, offering an encouraging smile, like this moment wasn’t monumental, like it was everything. After a long beat, Nick lifted his head again. “Okay I can do some more.” Charlie’s eyes shone. He was so proud of Nick’s determination but he also didn’t want him to take too much out of himself. “Maybe to the end of this corridor and then we reassess?” Nick shook his head. “No I can do more than that.” He argued. He didn’t want to admit defeat. He took a step. Then another and another but it was becoming clear that he was struggling. Sarah placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Charlie’s right, baby.” She said softly. “You’re tired..”. “I’m always tired.” Nick grumbled. “You’re doing brilliantly Nick.” Charlie encouraged. “But you don’t want to over do it.” Nick took a couple more steps until they reached the end of the corridor where there was a large window, sunlight spilled across the floor warm and bright. Nick stopped, staring out at the sky like he hadn’t seen it in years. “It’s stupid…” he murmured. “I know it’s just…outside.” Sarah squeezed his hand. “It’s not stupid.” She said firmly. “It’s life.” Nick leaned lightly against the window breathing hard but smiling. “I forgot how big it is.” Charlie squeezed his hand. “Still there, babe.”
On the way back, Nick needed the wheelchair. He didn’t argue. He didn’t apologise. That alone felt like progress. As Sarah pushed him slowly back toward his room, Nick tilted his head toward her. “Mum?” “Yes, my love?” Nick smiled softly. “Can we…can we do that again tomorrow?” Sarah’s chest tightened with something dangerously close to joy. “Absolutely.” She grinned. Back in the room, Nick collapsed in bed, utterly exhausted. Charlie helped pull the blankets up, gentle and carefully “That was huge.” He congratulated his boyfriend, pride exploding out of him. Nick closed his eyes, smiling faintly. “Yeah. It was.” Sarah watched them both, her son, drained, but proud and the boy who had never left his side and she felt something settle inside of her. Recovery wasn’t loud. Sometimes. It was just a quiet walk down a hospital corridor towards a window full of light. And today. Nicky had made it there.
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Sarah heard them before she saw them. Laughter, slightly too loud, slightly nervous, drifted down the corridor outside Nick’s HDU room. She looked up from her chair just as Tao appeared in the doorway, freezing the moment he spotted Nick. “Oh.” Tao said softly. Behind him, Elle stepped forward, hand already sliding in to his. Isaac hovered just behind them, clutching a book like a shield. Tara and Darcy followed, trying and failing to look casual. Imogen and Sahar trudging behind them. It was a large group but the nurses had signed off on it. Just for a short time.
Nick was propped up in bed, pillows arranged carefully behind him, the monitors beside him humming steadily. He looked smaller than usual, thinner, but his eyes lit up the second he realised who it was. “Oh my god.” He said blinking hard. “You’re real.” He hadn’t had any visitors outside the family since he was admitted, except Charlie. Not that he minded. Not in the slightest, but seeing his friends here for the first time in weeks was something special. Darcy grinned. Though her eyes were shiny. “Rude. We are always real.” Tara elbowed her gently before stepping forward. “Hi, Nick.” “Hi.” He said again, voice wavering despite himself. Charlie stood from the chair at Nick’s side, suddenly unsure of where to put his hands. “You guys made it.” “Obviously.” Tao said, finding his voice again. “Like we would miss this.” Sarah stood quietly and moved toward the door. “I’ll give you some time,” she said softly. Nick reached out instinctively. “Mum..” Sarah smiled softly at her son. “I’ll be right outside,” she promised, squeezing his shoulder before leaving them alone. For a moment, no one spoke. Then Darcy crossed the room in three long strides and wrapped Nick in the gentlest hug imaginable. “Never.” She said fiercely into his shoulder “Ever do that again.” Nick laughed weakly. “Wasn’t planning on it.” Tara sat on the edge of the bed, her smile soft. “You look…better.” Nick smiled softly. “I feel….better.” He said. “Most days.” Elle took in the room quietly, eyes flicking over the minutes before settling back on Nick. “We’re really glad you’re okay.” She said softly, her voice thick with emotion. Isaac cleared his throat. “I brought you a book.” He said, holding it out. “It’s not too sad. Or too happy. Just…steady.” Nick took it carefully, like it was something precious. “Thank you.” Tao shifted, uncomfortably. Glancing up at Nick. “You scared us, y’know.” He whispered. “I’m sorry.” Nick said softly. Tao smirked softly. “You didn’t ask for Ben to hit you.” Nick paled suddenly. His face twisted in confusion and fear. Charlie shot Tao an annoyed look. They hadn’t spoken to Nick about what had happened and he hadn’t remembered. They didn’t want to upset him. He and Sarah just figured they’d allow Nick to remember on his own. “B…Ben.” Nick
Whispered. “Ben did this?” Sarah hovered in the doorway. She’d returned to retrieve her phone that she had left.
Sarah froze on the spot. The room felt like it shrank in on itself. Charlie’s hand found Nick’s immediately, fingers threading together like muscle memory, grounding him. Nick swallowed. Hard. His eyes were unfocused now, staring somewhere past all of them. “I…I didn’t remember.” He said voice thin and reedy. “I just thought…I thought I fell or someone pushed me by accident…” his brow furrowed, pain flashing across his face that had nothing to do with his injury. “Ben was there. It was a party.” He said. His face was focused as he forced the memories. “I…I remember seeing him. We argued. I told him to leave Charlie alone and then..” his breathing hitched. Charlie squeezed his hand tighter. “Nick, hey, it’s okay. You don’t have to—“ “He hit me,” Nick said suddenly, certainty crashing into his voice like a wave. “Didn’t he?” No one answered straight away. They didn’t need to. Sarah stepped fully into the room, her face pale, but composed in that very-mum way she had when she was holding herself together with sheer will. She came to Nick’s other side and brushed his hair back gently. “Yes.” She said softly. “Ben hit you.” Nick’s eyes filled instantly. “On purpose?” Charlie nodded, tears already spilling down his cheeks. “I’m so sorry. I tried to get there faster, I didn’t know he’d—“. Nick shook his head weakly. “No. No, Charlie, don’t.” He squeezed Charlie’s hand, even as his own started to tremble. “He didn’t do it because of you. He did it because he’s him.” Tao’s jaw clenched. He hadn’t meant to cause this. He just assumed Nick knew. “He punched you.” He said softly. “You fell and hit your head on a table. You had a seizure. They arrested Ben that night.” His voice shook despite the anger in it . “You didn’t deserve any of it.”
Nick let out a broken laugh that turned into something dangerously close to a sob. “All these weeks.” He whispered. “I’ve missed so much time. I don’t remember any of it. I don’t remember…nearly dying,” Darcy sniffed. “Yeah, well you’re terrible at staying conscious. Very rude.” That got a tiny smile out of him, brief but real. Sarah leaned down, pressing her forehead to Nick’s. “You’re safe now.” She murmured. “Ben can’t hurt you again. I promise.” Nick closed his eyes, breathing slowly, deliberately, like the physio had taught him. When he opened them again, they were clearer-still scared, still raw, but present. “Charlie.” He said quietly. “I’m here.” Charlie answered instantly. Nick squeezed his hand again. “If I hadn’t woken up…would you have been okay?” Charlie broke then, leaning forward until his forehead rested against Nick’s arm. “No,” he said honestly. “But you did wake up. So we don’t have to think about that.” Nick nodded, tears slipping down into his hair. “Good.” He whispered. “Because I don’t want a world where I don’t get to be here with you.” The room stayed quiet after that. Not awkward, not heavy. Just full of relief. Of love. Of the fragile, powerful knowledge that Nick was still here and that the truth, however painful, hadn’t taken that away.