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Avian

Summary:

You read the tags. Parrot turns into an actual parrot in a stronghold and gets shoved into the end by the enemies who transformed him and tax duo (kinda) helps :3

"In the meantime," Egg said cheerfully, "we get to hang out with a talking bird."

"I hate you both."

"Come on, admit it's at least a little funny," Wemmbu said. "Your name is Parrot. You made a whole brand out of being Parrot. And now you're literally a parrot."

"The universe has a twisted sense of humor," Parrot muttered.

Notes:

Parrot’s breed is a blue/cyan and gold macaw! Length: 34 – 36” (85 - 90 cm); weight 2 – 3 lbs. (900 to 1300 g); wingspan: approximately 41 – 45” (102 – 112.5 cm). Hes the biggest bird

I am a biggg bird nerd. I own birds and Ive been itching to write a fic like this….. sorry if my nerdy ass comes to show in the middle of this fic

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

The stronghold's stone corridors echoed with the sound of clashing swords and shouted commands. Parrot had been so focused on the fight, so determined to defend their position, that he hadn't noticed the glowing potion bottle one of the enemies had thrown until it shattered against his chest.

The effect was instantaneous.

His vision swam, the world tilting at a dizzying angle as his body began to shrink. His armor clattered to the ground around him, suddenly far too large. His hands—no, his wings—flapped uselessly as vibrant blue and gold feathers burst from his skin. His nose and mouth pushed forward, hardening into a curved black beak.

"What the—" His voice came out as a harsh squawk that echoed off the stone walls.

The enemy players circled him, their laughter cruel and triumphant. Parrot tried to back away, but his new body was completely unfamiliar. His taloned feet scraped against the cold stone floor as he stumbled.

"Perfect shot!" one of them crowed. "Actual Parrot now, huh?"

"Let's see how he likes the End," another said, and before Parrot could even attempt to fly—did he even know how to fly?? He was a parrot hybrid, yes, but his wings had been clipped for decades! He only could fly with an ely—rough hands grabbed him.

"Wait—WAIT!" Parrot shrieked, his macaw voice piercing and loud. "You can't just—"

But they could, and they did.

The End portal's frame loomed before him, the starry void within swirling hypnotically. Parrot thrashed in their grip, wings beating frantically, but it was useless. With a final mocking laugh, they tossed him through.

The sensation of portal travel was nauseating in this new body. When Parrot tumbled out the other side, he hit the pale endstone hard, rolling several times before his talons finally found purchase. He stood there, panting, his head swiveling in the jerky, bird-like way that was apparently natural now.

The End stretched out before him in all its unsettling emptiness. It had been a while since he had seen Minutetech’s work here. The way back to the Overworld used to be easy, but without hands to open it, going back through the portal was impossible.

"Great. Just great." Parrot's voice was still his own—somehow the potion had left him able to speak clearly—but it came out with an avian quality that made every word sound slightly squawked. "Stuck in the End as a literal bird."

He tried to assess his situation. His body was that of a blue and gold macaw, he realized—large for a parrot, but still absurdly small compared to his usual human form. His plumage was brilliant: cobalt blue on his back and wings, golden yellow on his chest, with turquoise streaks and a distinctive black pattern on his face.

"At least they picked my original species. Who knows if I had became a small little bird instead of a Macaw," he muttered, then immediately felt ridiculous for the thought.

He needed to figure out how to fly. The alternative was walking across the End as a bird the height of a block, and that seemed like a terrible idea with all the endermen outside Minute’s borders.

Parrot spread his wings experimentally, feeling the way the feathers caught the air. Instinct seemed to guide him—some remnant of the transformation potion, maybe, or just the natural knowledge that came with having a bird's body. He flapped once, twice, and lifted unsteadily off the ground.

His flight was wobbly and uncertain, listing heavily to the left. He overcompensated and nearly crashed into a wall. After several terrifying minutes of trial and error, he managed to reach the top of the stairs, landing in an undignified heap.

"This is a nightmare," he muttered, preening his ruffled feathers without thinking about it.

Time passed strangely in the End. Parrot had no idea how long he'd been stranded for. He'd managed to improve his flying somewhat and had been exploring the area, looking for any sign of escape into the space containing the end portal, when he heard voices.

Human voices.

"—Brother, Im telling you, I am the goat of this server—"

"Egg, we've been over this—"

Parrot's head snapped up so fast he nearly gave himself whiplash. He knew those voices.

"WEMMBU! EGG!" He launched himself into the air, wings pumping desperately. His flying had improved, but he still wobbled alarmingly as he navigated between the blocks.

He spotted them at the library, Egg holding a book in his hands labeled: Unstable Universe Lore. Both players turned at the sound of his shouting, hands going to their weapons until they saw what was approaching them.

A bright blue and gold macaw, flapping frantically and yelling their names.

Parrot landed on the floor in front of them with all the grace of a thrown brick, stumbling forward before catching his balance. "Oh thank god, you guys have no idea what—"

He stopped.

Both Wemmbu and Egg were staring at him. Slowly, matching grins spread across their faces. (Egg couldn’t really grin, but you could see it in his eyeball somehow.)

"No," Parrot said immediately. "Whatever you're thinking, no."

"Is that..." Wemmbu started, pressing his fist against his mouth.

"It can't be," Egg said, his voice strangled with suppressed laughter.

"Hi, It's me, it's Parrot, I got hit with a potion and it would be nice to receive help—"

That was as far as he got before both of them lost it completely. Wemmbu doubled over, wheezing with laughter. Egg had to sit down, tears streaming down his face.

"It's not funny!" Parrot squawked indignantly, which only made them laugh harder.

"You're—" Wemmbu gasped for breath. "You're an actual parrot!"

"I KNOW THAT," Parrot shrieked, his voice hitting a pitch that made both players wince. "Can you please just help me get back to the Overworld?"

"Oh, we'll help," Wemmbu said, finally getting his laughter under control and wiping his eyes. "But first—" He pulled out his communicator, and Parrot's heart sank.

"Don't you dare—"

The screenshot sound effect played.

"WEMMBU!"

"Dude, I have to document this," Wemmbu said, completely unapologetic. "ParrotX2 finally living up to the name. This is comedy gold."

"I will find a way to make you regret this," Parrot said darkly.

"What are you gonna do, peck me?" Wemmbu had recovered enough to crouch down, examining Parrot with undisguised delight. "You're like, two pounds (900g). You're tiny."

"I'm a blue and gold macaw, actually, which is one of the larger parrot species—" Parrot cut himself off. "This is ridiculous! Just help me get home!"

"About that," Egg said, exchanging a glance with Wemmbu. "We probably shouldn't send you back just yet."

Parrot's wings drooped. "What? Why not?"

"Think about it," Wemmbu said, sitting down cross-legged on the blocks. "Those guys who transformed you? They're definitely camping your spawn point right now. They probably think you're going to spawn there and they can kill you.”

"So?" Parrot hopped closer, his talons clicking on the blocks. "I spawn as me again, right? The transformation would reset?"

"Maybe," Egg said. "But what if it doesn't? What if you spawn still as a bird? Then you're just stuck in a spawn trap as a parrot, which is way worse than being in the End."

Parrot hadn't considered that. The thought of being trapped at spawn, unable to fight back or even really move effectively, getting killed while stuck in this form...

"Okay, that's a fair point," he admitted reluctantly. "So what's your plan?"

"We wait them out," Wemmbu said simply. "If you don't spawn for long enough, they'll assume you died in the End for real. Maybe fell in the void or got killed by endermen or something. Once they give up camping your spawn, we can get you back safely."

"And in the meantime?" Parrot asked, though he was pretty sure he knew where this was going.

The grins returned to both their faces. (Technically Egg’s eyeball.)

"In the meantime," Egg said cheerfully, "we get to hang out with a talking bird."

"I hate you both."

"Come on, admit it's at least a little funny," Wemmbu said. "Your name is Parrot. You made a whole brand out of being Parrot. And now you're literally a parrot."

"The universe has a twisted sense of humor," Parrot muttered.

"Dude, Can you do any tricks?" Egg asked, pulling out some seeds from who knows where. "Like, I know you can talk, but can you mimic sounds?"

"I'm not an actual parrot!"

"That's not a no," Wemmbu pointed out.

Despite himself, Parrot found his attention drawn to the seeds in Egg's hand. They smelled... really good, actually. Which was concerning.

"Are those sunflower seeds?" he asked, trying to sound casual.

"Yeah, want some?"

"I—" Parrot's pride warred with his bird instincts. His wings flared. Tail ruffled. His bird instincts won. "Maybe just a few."

Egg scattered some seeds on the ground, and Parrot hopped over to them, pecking at them experimentally. They were delicious. He tried not to think too hard about why he was enjoying bird food so much.

"This is so surreal," Wemmbu said, watching him eat. "Like, I'm watching ParrotX2 peck at seeds as a bird."

"How did this even happen?" Egg asked. "I've never heard of a potion that works on players like that."

Between bites—and okay, maybe he was eating more than just a few seeds—Parrot explained the fight in the stronghold. The ambush, the potion bottle, the transformation, being thrown through the portal.

"Bro, That's some seriously advanced stuff," Wemmbu said, frowning. "Custom potions like that aren't easy to make."

"Yeah, well, they made it," Parrot said bitterly. "And now I'm stuck like this until we can figure out how to reverse it."

"Can you fly well?" Egg asked. "Like, we saw you coming in, and you looked kind of..."

"Wobbly?" Parrot supplied. "Yeah, I'm not great at it. I keep listing to the left and I've already crashed into at least five things."

"Dude, That's actually kind of impressive," Egg said. "Most people couldn't fly at all if they suddenly got turned into a bird."

"The potion seems to come with some basic instincts," Parrot explained, stretching one wing out to examine it. The feathers were sleek and beautiful, he had to admit. “It probably helped that I am an Avian as well.”

”What else can you do?” Wemmbu asked innocently, starting to nudge Parrot’s head. (Parrot decided not to nip him, despite his eye twitching, because what could he expect? It was Wemmbu.)

"I can see more colors than you," Parrot said, looking around Egg's base. "And my vision is sharper. Way sharper. I can see tiny details from really far away."

"Okay, being a bird has some advantages," Egg admitted.

"Sure, but I can't hold a sword, or mine, or craft, or open doors, or do basically anything useful," Parrot countered. "I'd trade the fancy vision for opposable thumbs any day."

"Fair enough," Wemmbu said. He was quiet for a moment, then added, "Can I... hold you?"

Parrot stared at him. "What?"

"I mean, you're a bird. You're probably really light. I just want to see—"

"Absolutely not."

"Come on!" Wemmbu wheedled. "Just for a second!"

"No! I'm not a pet!"

"Please?" Wemmbu gave him what were probably supposed to be puppy dog eyes. They didn't work on Parrot's bird vision.

"Still no."

"I'll give you those long seed things that birds like. Minute has a bunch in his crop farm."

Millets. (Crops/Bundle Of Seeds that most bird species love to eat) Parrot wavered.

"I can't believe I'm even considering this," he muttered. "Fine. ONE minute. And if you make any 'Polly want a cracker' jokes, I'm biting you."

"Deal!" Wemmbu carefully scooped Parrot up, and Parrot had to resist the urge to squirm. Being held felt weird—vulnerable in a way he wasn't used to. Especially since Wemmbu used to be his enemy.

"Bro, You're so light!" Wemmbu cooed. "And soft!"

"That's enough," Parrot said, though he'd been held for maybe fifteen seconds.

"Awwwh, but—"

"Put me down before I demonstrate that my beak is sharp."

Wemmbu carefully set him back on the blocks, grinning again.

"Got any other bird behaviors you want to share?" he asked innocently.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, you're preening your feathers a lot. And you keep tilting your head to look at things. And you hopped over to the seeds instead of walking—"

"I did not hop!"

"You definitely hopped," Wemmbu confirmed. "It was adorable."

"I'm going to find that void edge and jump into it," Parrot said flatly.

"Brother, Hardcore server.” Egg reminded cheerfully, own angel wings headdress ruffling.

That was a sobering thought. Parrot ruffled his feathers in agitation.

"So we're really just going to wait here?" he asked. "For how long?"

"Few hours, probably," Egg said with a shrug. "Long enough for them to get bored and give up. In the meantime, you can hang out at the library. I've got some pretty nice perches if you want to, you know, perch."

"I don't want to perch."

"You're literally a bird."

"I'm aware!"

Despite his protests, Parrot found himself eyeing the various elevated surfaces around the large library. Being up high did feel safer somehow. More natural.

Parrot changed the subjeect, clicking his beak nervously. "What if the potion is changing my mind too? What if I'm stuck thinking like a bird even after I transform back?"

"Okay, that's actually concerning," Egg admitted. "Do you still feel like yourself?"

"Yeah, mostly. But there are these... urges. Instincts that aren't mine." Parrot looked up at them, and he knew his bird eyes were wide with worry. "I mean, Ive felt these urges in the far past as I was younger, but I just assumed it was because I was a hybrid.” 

The next few hours were a strange mix of boring and surreal. Egg and Wemmbu went about their business of being the duo they are. Parrot mostly stayed nearby, practicing his flying (he was getting better, though he still wobbled) and trying not to give in to the urge to investigate every shiny endstone crystal.

They made it a game after a while, seeing what Parrot could and couldn't do with his bird body. He could pick up small items with his talons or beak, though carrying them while flying was tricky. He could activate pressure plates and buttons but not levers. He could perch on fence posts and players but kept sliding off smooth blocks.

"This is actually really useful information," Egg said, making notes in a book. "If we ever fight someone with a modded potion again, we'll know what to expect."

"I'd rather we just never fight anyone with any potions ever again," Parrot said, watching from his perch on a fence post. (Okay, fine, perching was comfortable. He could admit that.)

"Fair point."

Wemmbu had been checking his communicator periodically, monitoring chat for any signs of the enemy players. After about three hours, he looked up with a satisfied expression and tail. 

"They gave up," he announced. "Just saw them in chat talking about how you must have fallen in the void. They're not at spawn anymore."

Relief flooded through Parrot, making his feathers fluff up. "Finally! Can we go back now?"

"Yeah, dude, let's get you home," Egg said, closing his book. 

Notes:

Hope you enjoyed this crack :) We need more justice duo content AUGHH

while writing this fic a neighbour crow dropped a trinket at my window :D I also expect fics to upload slower for a day or so as i have a biggg injury. my door’s edge caught my foot and ripped out a big chunk of skin off my foot so 🥹✌️

EDIT (11/11) GO LOOK AT THIS THIS THIS ART FOR MY FANFIC ITS SOCUTEE IM FREAKING OUT
https://archiveofourown.org/works/73965101