Chapter Text
I can do anything better than you can
Yes I can
Have you ever seen anyone move like this.
Oh I can do anything better than you can
Just stand aside and watch me fly
Nick did not sleep at all that Friday night and when he finally did fall asleep he dreamt of Charlie. It was a weird dream: in it Charlie was a watermelon and he kept asking Nick to eat him. Nick refused and Charlie became very angry at him, telling him how juicy he was and how tasteful and how Nick refused to take a bite. Nick tried to explain that if he ate Charlie he would be gone and he’d be sad. Charlie refused to listen to him and rolled off angrily (he had no legs, being a watermelon), leaving Nick behind in a confused state. Nick woke up feeling like he had lost something important and it ached.
Nick felt as if the dream had been real but remembered the talk with David last night and how Charlie was not really a watermelon. What remained was the feeling that he needed to see him urgently. He needed to tell him he realised he liked Charlie as more than a friend and he couldn’t wait. He quickly showered, got dressed and went downstairs. His mom and brother thankfully were still asleep. He chuckled, both his mom and his brother had come home late that night, both being a bit tipsy. They would not wake up soon.
He also thought back to the talk he had with David. His brother had been right, this was New York. He could be himself here, as soon as he found out who he was. New York was a liberal city where people could still be themselves in a changing America. David had called him ‘not straight’ and hadn’t automatically assumed he was gay. ‘Any sexuality you’re comfortable with’, was what he’d said. Nick knew he had some soulsearching to do, but right now he needed to get to Charlie. He had run away and left him standing there alone. He needed to tell him how he really felt so he stuffed a sandwich in his mouth, put on his shoes and left his house.
Charlie was glad that Tori had come home Friday evening. Friday had been such a good day, He loved going to school and the acting class had been fun. He had loved the whole day and the proximity of Nick all day. He was sure Nick felt it too, the pull between them, but when they hugged and he felt like they were going to kiss Nick had not even said anything and bolted out the door. That hurt. Thankfully Imogen and Isaac noticed and talked to him, and comforted him. Unfortunately it had led to him skipping dinner again, he just couldn’t get himself to eat. He felt so useless, ugly and was sure Nick would never love someone as broken as him. Girls were literally offering himself to him, Patty from his acting class, girls from other classes, and they had not been subtle either. Nick obviously could do way better than him. He had just been kind in that English sort of way and he had been imagining things. There was nothing ‘going on’ between them.
He looked out the window while Tori was on the phone with their grandmother in Chile, telling her about her and Charlie’s study when there suddenly was a cloudburst and rain started to pour down like the deluge. He looked out the window, and even Micheal Holdén who had been hanging on the street corner had gone into the café. Tori had just finished talking to their grandparents when there was a loud knock at their door. His sister went to answer it and came back into the living room.
“It’s for you, Charles.” She said in her monotone voice, sipping lemonade through a straw.
“Who is it?” He asked, not expecting anyone.
“Go and find out,” his sister replied.
He walked to the door to find a dripping Nick standing there, without a coat. “Nick?! You’d better come in, you’re soaked.” He looked at the poor guy, shivering from the cold.
“Yeah, uhm, I did not check the weather before I left.” He excused himself, coming in and taking his wet Vans off and putting them on the mat.
“Let’s get you out of these wet clothes,” Charlie said. “You’ll catch your death if you stay in them.”
He led Nick past Tori who was glancing at the two of them with a big smirk on her face and he ignored her stare. He didn’t know why Nick was here on a Saturday morning, but he wasn’t about to discuss it with his sister before he knew what was going on.
He handed Nick a towel and directed him to the bathroom. His mind kept thinking of his crush being in his bathroom, naked, while he searched for clothes that would fit his stature. He giggled, going through his wardrobe. He found some joggers and a hoody that just would have to make do. He took the clothes to the bathroom and knocked on the door, holding the clothes out. Nick took them and Charlie snorted when he came out, dressed in his clothes that were way too small for him. Nick's face turned a dark shade of red.
“I-I, eh, I really need to ta-talk to you, Charlie,” Nick stuttered, looking a mess. “I did not sleep at all and I was a fool to run away like that, and I am sorry, but I think, I mean I know, not think, but yeah. I do.”
“Do what?” Charlie had no clue what the other boy was trying to say.
“Well, we hugged.” Nick tried to explain.
“We did,” Charlie agreed, “and then you ran out like you were disgusted by me.”
“What? No, not at all. I just, I-I…” Nick took a deep breath. “I really wanted to kiss you then and it freaked me out, I’m sorry.” Nick started to sob.
“You wanted to kiss me?” Charlie asked, confused.
“Yes, I panicked because I realised that I was feeling things for you and wanted to snog your face off.”
“Snog my face off?” Charlie giggled at the weird expression. “Does that mean kiss me?”
“It does.” Nick looked down at the floor. “Obviously you don’t have to, I mean, you probably don’t like me like that and you were just being kind and I should just go, I think. "I'm sorry for being an idiot.”
Charlie took a step closer, looking at him intensely. “Do you still want to ‘snog’ me?”
“I-I, yeah?” Nick looked totally flustered.
“Good, because I really want to snog you too.”
Charlie closed his eyes and leaned in, so did Nick and they finally kissed. It felt like the best thing ever to both of them, and when they came up for air, both of them had this dopey look about them.
“Can I do it again?” Nick asked and Charlie let out one of his signature giggles, making Nick feel giddy inside.
“Yes, snog me, please.” Charlie said eagerly.
They kissed again, getting to know how to kiss each other better by every pass of their lips and stroke of their tongue. They spent an hour making out until their lips were swollen and only after then did they finally talk.
“I didn’t know, Charlie. I knew I liked you, like more than I like Sai, Otis, or Christian, like on a completely different level. I wanted to be around you all the time because you’re so funny and smart and I wanted to be your friend. I think yesterday, after the hug I realised that my feelings ran deeper than friendship.”
Charlie giggled again, and Nick suppressed the urge to kiss him again. They were lying on Charlie’s bed and Nick held Charlie close.
“That must have been a shock.” Charlie said, thinking of what Isaac had told him before. “Did you realise for the first time that you weren’t straight?” His blue eyes looked at Nick with warmth and understanding.
“Yeah, I mean, I realised that the feelings were more than platonic. I was so confused, Charlie. I spent the whole evening googling and I did a test that said I was 61% gay. I showed my brother and he just laughed when I said I was in love with a boy and he mentioned you. When I told him I never said I was in love with you, he said it was obvious. So yeah, it was obvious to most people except me, I guess. I can now see why the lads and Imogen have been asking questions. I was stupid not to see that I was falling for you.”
“You seem very calm now, are you okay?” Charlie checked in, realising it had to be a lot for Nick to deal with. “Don’t be too hard on yourself, Nick. I’m sure it has been a lot for you.”
“I’m lying here with the boy I crush on in my arms, what do you think?”
Charlie giggled again. “And you snogged me.”
“When did you realise you were gay?” Nick asked.
“I guess I always sort of knew? It has always been boys for me.” Charlie shrugged. “I never thought about girls romantically.
“I don’t know what I am yet, but I do know I like you.” Nick replied and they snuggled up close again. It felt like coming home and Nick realised a label didn’t matter, as long as he was with Charlie.
*******
Isaac was having his new school mates over for the first time and his dad was laughing at him, in that annoying way he always did. He was cleaning out the basement and preparing for their visit, wanting everything to go well. Where he had always been a solo sort of guy, creating his own music without others, he now was part of a group of borderline misfit musicians. They weren’t an official band or anything. Just people from different walks of life that came together to jam. It had started when he was playing in the music room at school, having written an upbeat song. Darcy came in and had written lyrics to it that were a perfect fit. With her came Sahar and he had to admit, her playing lifted the song up. Soon enough, Otis, Sai, and Christian followed, Sai bringing along Elle. The song he had written had come alive and they kept jamming on it every spare second they got at school. They did need more time than just between and after lessons though, and that was how he had ended up inviting them over. Tonight they were going to perfect the song and record a demo version.
Darcy was looking forward to the evening. She liked Isaac a lot and they had a weird connection and it wasn’t just the music. Isaac’s calm demeanor seemed to fit with her chaotic energy. Darcy had written lyrics to Isaac’s song with Tara in mind. The song was totally her, about a young girl wanting to be famous, popular and seen everywhere. It was different from who Darcy was as an artist, but she was going to sing the demo and maybe later have Tara sing it over her vocals and she could do backing vocals.
Darcy knew the song could be seen as a dig at Tara’s personality, but it actually meant much more than that. She had caught feelings for the pretty black girl with the kind and loving personality that was buried behind a façade. Darcy looked beyond the entitlement and saw a girl that desperately tried to find her own way in life. She knew Tara probably wasn’t into her, or even a lesbian, so she decided to admire her from afar and the song expressed those feelings.
Darcy walked up to the Henderson’s residence and rang the doorbell and an enthusiastic Howard opened the door, his face lit up when he saw her.
“Ah, my favourite visitor!” Howard really liked this girl, she seemed to have taken his son from his isolation, befriended him and brought along even more friends. “Come in!”
“Good evening, Mr. Henderson.” She greeted him. Darcy had felt welcome at the Henderson’s from day one, both Isaac and Howard always seemed happy to see her. The house felt warm and Darcy felt like she could be herself there. Lately she felt like there was more to herself than being a Lesbian and Isaac just listened, pointed out things she could read about and never judged her. She found herself coming over more and more, happily staying for dinner.
“You know where to go, holler if you guys need anything.” Howard said whilst sitting down again, continuing to watch a basketball game on TV.
One by one the others arrived and were welcomed by Howard. He directed them to the basement, getting them past the kitchen and handing out drinks and snacks. Howard listened to the sounds coming from downstairs and heard laughter and chatter. It warmed his heart to hear his son laugh with his friends and being the sucker he was, he shed a few tears, realising his son had found his peers. They were good kids.
In the basement they had almost perfected the song. Isaac was amazed by the full sound they had created together and had to admit that all the instruments added a lot of depth to the song his synthesisers couldn’t have. They were ready to record the demo, but he asked his dad to come and listen first and hear his opinion.
Howard came and sat in a big chair, ready for the performance. He already knew the song from Isaac’s practices, but he was blown away by the result. The song seemed completely rewritten, it started with Isaac’s synthesisers, but Sahar played a throbbing bass and Christian came in with a guitar straight after the intro. The drumcomputer had made room for Otis with his drums and percussion and when Darcy started singing the sound was less eclectic and more of a song played by a band. The guitar solo had become a trumpet solo and it sounded amazing. Elle had added string arrangements, playing both violin and her cello.
Isaac looked at his dad, because looking at his face always showed what he was thinking. Howard never was one to hide his emotions and when they all sang the chorus he watched his father move along in his chair, even singing a little too. When the song ended everyone looked at Howard with eager faces, waiting for his opinion.
“You shit crazy bunch of motherfuckers! What the actual fuck?!” Howard said, clearly emotional. “That was fuckin’ amazing, I swear.” Howard stood up. “Christ guys, I love it!”
“Eloquent as ever, dad.” Isaac said dryly, making the others chuckle.
They recorded the demo, making multiple recordings with Sai playing other horns and Christian playing a second guitar, creating the perfect sound. Isaac wanted to keep Darcy’s original vocals, but she insisted Tara’s voice and style would suit the song better.
*******
Nick arrived home, to find his mom and his brother in the kitchen, Sarah cooking toad in the hole, an English classic. David looked up at him and smirked, but to his credit he said nothing.
“Nicky love, where have you been all day?” Sarah asked as he came over and hugged her.
“Oh, I’ve been to a friend’s house.” He deflected, looking at David and he could just tell he put two and two together.
“That’s nice, dear. I’m glad you’re making friends.” Sarah smiled, putting the food into a casserole dish.
He walked to the cupboard, took out his mug with an N on it, hung a tea bag in it and poured the boiling water from their luxury tap. He wasn’t going to say anything, but he had such a good day, he decided to go for it. “Actually, mum, there is something I need to say.” He started, wanting to get it off his chest. He was nervous though, but his brother gave him a reassuring look.
“What is it, Nicky? Is everything alright? You seem a bit off lately.” Sarah looked worried.
Nick took a deep breath. “It’s about me and Charlie, mum. We’re together. I don’t exactly know how or what we are, but I am in love with him. We kissed today and we talked.”
“Go Nicky!!!” David cheered. “You went and got your man!” He got up and went to hug his little brother. “You kissed him, didn’t think you had it in you.”
“Shut up, David,” Nick shot back at his brother, but there was no anger behind it.
“How did it feel?"
Nick just looked at him, with a dopey look and David laughed loudly.
Sarah was quiet, and both boys could see the wheels turning in her head, slowly connecting the dots.
“You’ve broken her,” David chuckled. “Is there a reset button somewhere?”
Suddenly Sarah got up, teary eyed and hugged her youngest son. “Oh baby. I’m so happy for you, love, thank you for telling me. I love you, Nicky. I can't wait to meet your boyfriend.”
“Boyfriend?” Nick pulled out his phone, was Charlie his boyfriend?
Nick: Charlie, we never talked about it, but are we boyfriends?
Charlie: If you want to?
Nick: Yes! I’d love that! We’re boyfriends!
Charlie: I love it too, boyfriend!
*******
After a long and tiring day, the day for class 1C ended with social studies and Priya had prepared the lesson about the dangers of social media on teenagers. From social media the discussion quickly dived into current affairs. Priya could tell that her students were worried about things that were happening all around them and decided to discard the lesson she had planned.
“I’m just saying he looks out for people like me.” Harry said, when Elle had said she was scared of what the president was planning and admitted to not feeling safe anymore.
“What do you mean by people like you?” Otis asked.
“Well, real Americans,” Harry explained.
“Ah, when do you get to be a real American?” Sai asked. “Because both my parents and grandparents were born here, and I still don’t qualify as a real American?”
“My ancestors came on slave ships over 300 years ago, same here.” Otis added.
Nick snorted. “Why are you laughing?” Mrs. Singh wanted to know, wanting to keep the discussion respectful and wouldn’t allow any mocking.
Nick glanced at his teacher. “I’m sorry Mrs. Singh, but to me and probably the rest of the world, the only real Americans are the Native Americans. Everyone else is obviously an immigrant.”
“That was such a long time ago,” Kieran said. “We have been here for over 500 years, when the land was first colonized.”
“That may be, but my ancestors came over 300 years ago too. Still, you get to walk around freely and I have to be careful not to get shot by the police.” Otis answered. “You will never be detained by the police for nothing, really. And now with Ice roaming the streets we are not safe at all.”
“You’re overreacting,” Kieran said. “If you have nothing to hide you don’t have to be afraid.”
“That is easy for you to say,” Sai said. “It never happens to you.”
“Anyway, people voted for a left wing extremist here in New York, just to vote against Trump. Now you have a communist leading the city. You’ll be safe.”
“Isn’t that why you all voted for Trump? Because you didn’t want Kamela in the white house?” Elle asked.
“That was different.” Kieran replied. “We needed someone strong to lead the country. We needed to get back to what made America great. We needed to stop all those diversity agendas that were forced upon us and get back to the real Americans, just like Harry said.”
Priya interjected and guided the class towards a discussion based on facts when the bell rang and the hour was finished. She gave them homework though, diving into facts and not perceptions, and talking about them in the next hour of social studies.
“I need a drink,” Priya told her fellow teachers as she walked into the teacher’s lounge.
“Hard day?” Shorofsky said, looking at her below his glasses.
“You can say that again, we had a discussion about who the real Americans are and who are not. It led to heated discussions about politics. They are already so divided and have such different ideas already, it is hard to see.
“My parents were holocaust survivors. These raids start to feel like the razzias in Germany.” Shorofsky said angrily.
“I think we all deserve a drink.” Elisabeth suggested. “Are you in Lydia? Blanche?”
Both women agreed and they went to collect Youssef and Nathan so they could unwind after classes, maybe brainstorm how to keep their students working together and accept their differences.