Chapter Text
Shadow Milk is screwed.
And by screwed, he is totally fucked over.
It all began last night, when he was hanging out with his friends at the bar. It was a casual hangout, one that they decided they needed after a hard couple weeks of work. They were talking about anything and everything until one of his friends, Eternal Sugar, announced that she—miraculously—had gotten a girlfriend.
Clearing her throat, she spoke up loudly so everybody could hear her. “So, everybody.” The group stopped their chattering, looking at her and awaiting for what she had to say. Unable to resist smiling, her face lit up. “I have a girlfriend!”
Immediately, the rest of Shadow Milk’s friends started congratulating her and asking questions—who this person was, how they met, what she was like, etc. She answered all of their questions with a cheesy grin on her face, clearly overjoyed. Meanwhile, he was a bit dumbfounded. How did she get somebody before him?
Once she had explained the whole situation to the group, a bit too cheerfully, Silent Salt cleared his throat and butted in. “I, as well, have gotten myself a girlfriend. It slipped my mind to tell you all.”
Burning Spice chuckled nervously, lifting his muscled arm to rub the back of his neck, and added, “Me too. I guess I forgot to mention it. It was only a couple weeks ago, anyway.”
Mystic flour, stoic as ever, said, “I have a boyfriend. I didn’t think it was worth mentioning.”
Shadow Milk was speechless, mouth agape. What the fuck was happening.
They all took turns explaining their situation, describing what their partner was like with smiles on their faces—except for Mystic Flour. Shadow Milk was surprised she even wanted a partner at all, with how apathetic she was to everything around her. He stayed silent, processing all of this, his jaw nearly on the floor.
Suddenly, noticing his uncharacteristic silence, Eternal Sugar turned to look at him, her brow raised. “Hey, what about you, Shadow Milk? Have you met anybody?”
Burning Spice smiled mischievously. “Yeah, you’ve been oddly quiet.”
Quickly composing himself, he put a relaxed smile on his face. Naturally, he did the thing he was best at doing—he lied. It was practically second nature to him, having lied pretty much every single day of his life, whether it be about mundane or serious topics.
“Yeah, I actually do. And guess what? He’s like, the hottest guy ever.” He crossed his arms, smiling smugly, watching how their faces took on surprised expressions.
His friends gave each other suspicious glances, not fully convinced of his story. Awkward silence stretched on for a few moments, all while Shadow Milk continued to grin.
Eventually, Silent Salt broke the silence, giving him an unimpressed stare. “I highly doubt you’re telling the truth.”
His grin fell. “Wha—Hey!” He cleared his throat. “I am, thank you very much.”
Burning spice quirked a brow at him. “Oh, really? I think I have to meet this guy.”
Eternal Sugar nodded her head, her pink hair clip in the shape of a heart moving with the motion. “Yes! If you are really telling the truth, how about we meet here next Saturday, and you bring along this supposed boyfriend.”
Shadow Milk laughed cockily, wiping away a faux tear. Internally, he was on the verge of imploding. He was starting to wish that he had never opened his fat mouth in the first place, or maybe admit he was lying. He immediately perished the thought, deeming it far too embarrassing to be caught in a lie on this subject. “If you guys insist! I must say, my feelings are a little hurt! Why would I ever lie to you guys?” His friends deadpanned at him.
Burning Spice gave him a rather harsh pat on the back, laughing as well. “Alright, it’s settled then. Same time next Saturday. Don’t chicken out, little guy!”
That was last night, and now Shadow Milk was driving to work, gripping his steering wheel with alarming force, a vein about to pop on his forehead. Just looking back on what happened last night made his stomach churn violently with embarrassment. Seriously, how was he supposed to back this up? He hasn’t spoken to anybody in… well, forever. Wow, now he feels like a loser.
But that’s besides in the point. Surely he could find somebody within a week, considering how charming and handsome he was. Really, all he needed to do was reach out to someone.
But who? He really didn’t want to ask some random dweeb out just to show them off to his friends. He’d probably just dump them the next day.
Ugh. The more he thought about it, the more his head started to hurt. He pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing heavily. He could really use a coffee right now.
He was brought out of his thoughts when he realized that he had arrived at his location. Shadow Milk worked at his local high school and taught an advanced art class. He had mixed feelings about his job. He always had a passion for teaching and sharing knowledge to others, but somehow his students always found new ways to test him. Seriously, maybe some of them were accidentally allowed to skip a grade or something.
Despite sometimes being harsh, many of his students liked him. They liked that he joked around with them and entertained them. They liked that he kept a jar of candy for students who performed well or asked good questions. They liked that he didn’t care if they were gossiping, and sometimes joined in if they were gossiping about teachers.
He parked his car in his usual spot, not too far from the entrance of the school. He made a beeline for the staff room, fantasizing about the coffee machine. Maybe he could bring it as his date on Saturday.
Practically shoving the doors open, he speed walked over to the coffee machine, not even caring to look around the room. It wasn’t until the coffee was brewing when he sighed, relaxing a little. It was fine. He’ll just get through work today and figure this whole thing out later.
Waiting for it to finish brewing, he took the time to glance around the room. Nobody else was in there, probably in their classrooms already or running a tad bit late. Turning back to the machine, he basked in the silence, breathing in the scent of the coffee.
And of course, since the world seemed to despise his very being, the door opened and somebody walked in. Clenching his jaw, he decided he would just ignore whoever this was and hope that they did the same. His hopes were crushed shortly after.
A soft and familiar voice spoke behind him. “Oh, good morning, Shadow Milk. How are you?” He could practically hear the cheesy smile in the man’s voice as he spoke.
Sighing, he turned his head to get a glimpse of Pure Vanilla. Pure Vanilla was a few years younger than him, but they had been working together for a few years now. He taught plant science in the room next to Shadow Milk’s, and somehow had the same stupid smile on his face everyday without fail. He often tried to make conversation with him in the mornings or during lunch, but Shadow Milk wasn’t very enthusiastic about it. He would always ask how his day was going, if he was doing alright, and all kinds of boring small talk.
“Tired. Very tired.” His coffee finished brewing and he opened the mini fridge to fish out the creamer.
The smile on Pure Vanilla’s face fell into a small frown, but he still maintained a kind look on his face. “I’m sorry to hear about that. Hopefully today won’t be too hard on you.”
“Mm. Thanks.” He stirred the creamer into his coffee with a plastic spoon. Pure Vanilla walked up beside him, using the rest of the coffee that Shadow Milk had brewed.
Fully taking in his appearance, Shadow Milk looked at him. He wore a dark brown cotton sweater, the collar of a white dress shirt underneath poking out to frame it. The dress shirt fell slightly out onto his light blue jeans as well, giving the outfit a little pop. His golden blond, shoulder length hair fell over his eyes due to him looking down and leaning over the counter, preparing his coffee. His blond eyelashes stood out on the tawny brown skin of his cheek, seemingly glistening under the artificial lighting of the staff room. The star shaped birth mark on his forehead always caught Shadow Milk’s attention, no matter how many times he looked at him.
He was fully aware that he was staring at him, but found that he didn’t really care. Especially not when he would sometimes look over in Pure Vanilla’s direction, only to find him already looking at him. A little weird, but he always brushed it off.
As he creepily stared at him, somehow with him not noticing, an idea started forming in his head.
Hm.
Could he convince him to act as his date?
Pure Vanilla would understand, right? He was always trying to befriend Shadow Milk, so he would be doing his buddy a favor, right?
He fit the criteria. He was a male and… well, not unpleasant to look at.
But then again, there was no way in hell he would be caught dead with this guy anywhere besides work. He was way too nice, and would never hurt a fly. Seriously, he was practically a walking ray of sunshine. It was a stark contrast to Shadow Milk entire person.
But.. who else could he ask?
He averted his gaze to his feet, letting the idea simmer in his head for a few moments. Was he going to lose his dignity by being caught in a lie by his friends, or was he going to lose his dignity by going out with this knuckle head?
He sighed, accepting his fate. Turning to Pure Vanilla, he opened his mouth to begin speaking, only to close it again. How was he supposed to go about this?
Pure Vanilla noticed, turning his head to look at him. Just as he was about to say something, probably something stupid, Shadow Milk cut him off.
“Hey, Pure Vanilla, um—“ He took a deep inhale, attempting to steady himself. “This might sound a little odd, but could you.. pretend to by my date next weekend?”
Pure Vanilla just looked at him for a moment, dumbfounded and blushing a deep shade of red. He searched Shadow Milk’s face for any sign of him pranking him, but found nothing. “Uh.. I mean, sure.. but what’s the occasion?” Stammering slightly on his words, he looked down at his shoes.
“Well, long story short, I told my friends I was seeing somebody, but, uh, I’m not. Don’t ask. They said they wanted to meet whoever I’m seeing next Saturday.” He looked at Pure Vanilla expectantly, awaiting a response.
Pure Vanilla swallowed. “I’ll do it.” He looked back up, smiling at Shadow Milk. “Here, how about you give me your number and we can talk this through later?” He pulled his phone out of his pocket, unlocking it and handing it to Shadow Milk.
He sighed in relief. How did this actually work? Well, can’t back out now. “Thank you.” He took the phone in his hand and typed in his number, then handed it back.
Purr Vanilla cleared his throat. “Well, I should go. I’ll see you later.” Pure Vanilla smiled warmly at him, waving him goodbye.
Once he left the room, he dragged his hand down his face, groaning loudly. He supposes that his actions might have consequences.