Chapter Text
Will took a shaky breath, tugging at his earring nervously. Carlton sat across from him on his bed. He thought they both knew what they were here for. Valentine’s Day had been a few days before and they’d spent it together in Will’s dorm: a night of passion as if it was their last. He’d tried to memorize every part of Carlton, to kiss him and love him one final time. He wanted Carlton to feel how much he truly cared for him, and he could tell Carlton was trying to do the same. If the way he held Will, the way he touched him, so gently, tenderly, was anything to go off of, he knew as well. He knew it wasn’t going to last.
“We need to talk,” Will finally spoke.
Carlton exhaled. “Yeah. We do.”
Will reached out to lace Carlton’s fingers through his own. He looked into his boyfriend’s eyes, admiring the way his lashes curled against his cheeks. Carlton glanced down at their entwined hands and rubbed his thumb gently against Will’s palm.
“I…” Will started, unsure of what exactly he wanted to say. “I don’t think this is working out.”
Carlton’s eyes glistened, but he nodded. “I think you’re right.”
Will felt tears forming in his own eyes and he did his best to fight down the lump in his throat. “I still love you,” he said. “I love you so much. I just… I don’t think I’m in love with you. And I think that’s why this is all falling apart.”
Carlton didn’t say anything. He just looked at Will sadly. It broke Will’s heart.
“Baby,” Will continued, “I need to let you go. And you need to let me go. This was never going to last forever.”
A tear slipped down Carlton’s cheek and Will reached up to wipe it away. His thumb brushed against Carlton’s skin and Carlton leaned into his touch. Will cradled his face in his hands, Carlton reaching up to do the same. They pressed their foreheads together, breathing each other in.
“I know it’s for the best,” Carlton said softly. His voice shook and Will nearly lost his resolve right there. He didn’t want to hurt him. He fought every urge to kiss Carlton breathless and apologize and tell him over and over how much he loves him.
“I’m sorry,” Will breathed.
“Me too,” Carlton replied, just as tenderly, the kindness in his voice overwhelming. “I love you, Will.”
“I love you, Carlton,” Will told him.
Carlton leaned forward and captured Will’s lips with his own. Will let himself get lost in the sensation one last time, Carlton’s hands running through his hair as his own traced Carlton’s jaw, his neck, his shoulders. Their tears mixed against their skin, until Will wasn’t sure who was crying more.
When Carlton finally pulled away, his eyes were red and his lips were swollen pink, but he looked determined. He kissed Will one last time, gently on his forehead, and then he stood. Will watched him pull his shoes on, his heart shattering with every move Carlton made to leave. Maybe Robin was wrong. Maybe this wasn’t the right choice.
“Goodbye, Will,” Carlton said, standing by the door. “I hope you find someone who makes you happy. You deserve to be happy.”
Will sniffed, wiping at his eyes. “You do too. I really hope you find someone who can give you everything I couldn’t.”
Carlton smiled sadly. “I’ll see you around.”
Will nodded. “See you around.”
And then he was gone.
Will curled into himself, finally releasing the sob he’d been holding in. God, he was going to miss Carlton.
Mike sat at his desk, staring at the notebook in front of him. His homework was a bitch – he was simply not cut out for a life of a poet, contrary to what his Poetry professor believed. His assignment was to write a free-form poem about someone he loved in a way that anyone could relate to as well. Mike wasn’t sure how to describe his chosen subject, El, in a way that was relatable to others.
He scanned over the words he’d written so far, groaning at how clumsy they were.
She was magic.
The kind that was soft and strong all at once.
The kind that left you breathless
when you looked into her eyes.
And the blood, the sweat, the tears;
you hoped they were worth it.
You can only hope she got her happy ending
when her time with you was cut so short.
You hope she’s someplace safe,
away from the people who hurt her for her whole life.
You hope she found somewhere
with three waterfalls
where she can sit and watch the sun rise and set on the horizon,
that she’s someplace as beautiful as she is,
because every day without her, your heart aches.
And you wonder if it could have been different
if you had only said,
“I love you”.
It was good, Mike thought, but not perfect. It certainly wasn’t good enough to turn in. He just wasn’t sure how to convey his feelings about El accurately on paper. And the fact that he had to make it poetry made it even more difficult. Just as he was about to scribble out the whole page in frustration, the phone rang.
He moved to grab it, figuring it was for his roommate. Mike almost never got calls. He was ready to take a message when he answered, but the voice over the receiver was familiar and Mike froze.
“Hi Mike,” Will said softly. “It’s me.”
Mike gaped, his heart going into overdrive. “Will?”
“Yeah,” Will said. His voice was shaky. Mike wondered if he was okay. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I called you. I just… I needed someone to talk to.”
Mike nodded, sliding down the wall until he was sitting on the floor. “Yeah, okay. What’s wrong?”
“I…” and then Will’s voice broke and Mike could hear him bite back a sob on the other end of the line. “I broke up with Carlton.”
Mike nearly dropped the phone. It felt like the weight that had been sitting heavy in his chest since winter break had finally lifted, and he had to fight back the upward turn of his lips. He’d need to analyze that reaction later, he knew, but right then, Will was hurting and he needed to be there for him. As a friend.
“Will, I’m so sorry,” Mike breathed. “How... why? What happened?”
A sudden realization invaded his mind. Had Will broken up with his boyfriend because he’d been hurt? Had this Carlton guy been abusive? Was Will escaping a toxic relationship? Mike would believe it – he’d seen enough people in bad relationships to know it was entirely possible, and if that was the case, he was going to march over to New York that night to beat this guy up. Nevermind that he was basically useless in a fight, it was the principle of it. Besides, if he had enough anger, he thought he could probably win. He’d faced monsters from another dimension; some asshole New Yorker was nothing too bad.
“It just wasn’t working out,” Will’s voice broke through his thoughts. “He was wonderful, but… I wasn’t in love with him like I thought I was. We were drifting apart so… it was better to just end it.”
Mike could hear the tears in Will’s voice, the shakiness of his breath. He wished he could crawl through the phone and comfort him. He wanted to hold him close and tell him everything would be okay.
“I’m sorry,” Mike said again. “That sucks.”
Will chuckled wetly. “Yeah. It really does."
“Do you want to keep talking about it?” Mike asked after a moment of silence. “Or do you want me to distract you?”
He heard Will sigh over the receiver. “I don’t know.”
“Do you wanna hear my shitty poem I just wrote?” Mike asked.
“You wrote a poem?” Mike could hear the laughter in his tone, even through his tears.
“Homework assignment,” Mike explained. “It’s really not great at all, but… maybe it’ll get your mind off things.”
“Sure,” Will said. He sniffed. Mike could picture him wiping at his eyes. “Read me the shitty poem.”
Mike smiled a little and reached for his notebook. His poem was nowhere near ready to be read out loud, but he wanted to cheer Will up. Or at least distract him from his breakup. He realized as he started the first line that maybe reading Will a poem about his (potentially) dead sister wasn’t the smartest idea, but it was too late to back down now, and he hadn’t explicitly told Will who it was about.
When he finished reading, Will was silent for a moment, breathing softly over the line.
“That wasn’t shitty,” he said quietly. “I thought it was really good.”
Mike scoffed. “Really? I think it’s clumsy. The words feel forced.”
“I don’t think so,” Will said. “You’re a much better writer than you give yourself credit for, Mike. I mean, you could workshop it a bit more if you want, but it was really good.”
“Thanks,” Mike said, staring at the ground. He set his notebook down.
“Was it about El?” Will asked, gently.
Mike sighed. “Yeah. I kind of realized too late that maybe that wasn’t the best topic to bring up right now.”
“Yeah, maybe not,” Will said softly. “But it’s okay. It was beautiful.”
“You really think so?”
“Mh-hmm.” Mike heard him shift on the other end of the line. “I hope she got her happy ending, too.”
“I’m sorry you didn’t get yours,” Mike said.
Will was silent for a moment. Then, “I’m not sure Carlton was ever going to be my happy ending. I think he was more of a happy interlude. It hurts, and I miss him, but… he was never going to be the one.”
Mike thought about that. He remembered what Will had said when he’d come out to everyone, about how he liked someone for years; someone who would never love him back. It was clear that person meant a lot to Will, and Mike hated to admit it, but ever since Will had come out, he hadn’t stopped wondering who the boy could have been. He wanted to know who had captured Will’s heart so completely, to the point where he was the reason Will discovered his power and his confidence to be fully himself. He wondered if Will thought about Carlton the same way. And if that wasn’t supposed to be “the one”, then what was?
When Mike hadn’t said anything for a while, Will asked, “Can you tell me about you? What’ve you been up to since I last saw you? Besides non-shitty poetry.”
Mike chuckled a little, but his smile fell as soon as it spread. He took a deep breath. “I went home for the long weekend.”
Will was silent, so Mike continued, “I think I figured out a couple of things about myself that I’ve been avoiding.”
“Like what?”
Mike shrugged, even though he knew Will couldn’t see him. “I hate Vermont.”
Will laughed a little bit. “You do?”
“Yeah. It sucks here. I don’t have any friends at all and it’s freezing, and I’m so far away from everyone I care about… I just want to be back in Hawkins, you know? Which I know is crazy. I couldn’t wait to leave that stupid town last summer, but now I’d give anything to live there again.”
“Maybe you should transfer to Indy then,” Will reasoned.
“I’ve seriously considered it,” Mike said. “Transfer applications aren’t due quite yet, but I think I might honestly take a gap year starting in the fall. Just figure out what I want to do with my life. See if I even want to go back to school.”
Will snorted. “You could be the second Wheeler kid to drop out of college.”
Mike laughed. “Yeah, that’s another thing completely. I’m convinced Nancy didn’t drop out to pursue a writing career. She hasn’t shown me a single article she’s written. If she were really writing I know she would have. I’m like, ninety-nine percent sure she got recruited by the CIA and the journalism job is just her cover story.”
“I wouldn’t put it past her,” Will said. “If anyone was going to end up CIA it would be Nancy Wheeler.”
“That’s what I’m saying!” Mike exclaimed and he heard Will laugh over the phone. “The military totally saw what she could do, obviously they’d want her on their side.”
“Okay,” Will said. “So you hate Vermont and you think your sister is an undercover agent. What else?”
And this was the other thing. The big thing. He knew he’d have to tell Will. If anyone deserved to know, it was him. He deserved to know he wasn’t alone (although to be fair, Will already knew that if New Years was any indication. He had to admit, Jonathan Byers, Hawkins’s resident loser, and King Steve “The Hair” Harrington were a couple he hadn’t been anticipating. Nancy and Robin were a little less surprising, but still.).
“There was something else about myself that I realized,” Mike said. He gripped his knee tightly with his free hand trying to stop its shaking.
“What is it?” Will asked gently when Mike was a little too slow to continue.
He steadied his breathing. “I’m bisexual.”
He heard Will’s sharp inhale, waited a moment for the shock to wear off.
“Holy shit,” Will practically whispered.
“Yep,” Mike agreed shakily. “Holy fucking shit.”
“You-“ Will started, and then changed his mind. “When did you… how long have you known? Or like, how did you realize it?”
Mike sighed. “I mean I really only admitted it to myself when I was home. But, I think deep down… I’ve known for a while. I’ll catch myself staring at a guy for too long, or I’ll become obsessed with a boy to the point where it’s past friendship. There was this one boy… God, he was perfect. But I always thought I only liked him because of how cool he was. Like, I figured every guy liked him the same way I did because he was amazing. Who wouldn’t love him like that? But then, I kind of realized… that wasn’t how it worked. And thinking about him, I think that’s what made me realize. That I like both men and women, that is.”
He didn’t say that Will was the guy he stared at for too long, or that Will was the one he’s always been obsessed with. He didn’t tell Will that this boy he liked was someone he’d known since Kindergarten, or that he was super cool because of how talented he was at art, or how kind he was to everyone he met, or because he had fucking superpowers. The boy Mike liked was a sorcerer. And Mike knew that there was no way the sorcerer would ever like the paladin back.
“Mike,” Will breathed. “Thank you. For telling me. I know how scary that is.”
Mike exhaled. “I mean, I figured you’d have to be supportive, so…”
Will chuckled. “Yeah, I guess it would be pretty hypocritical if I wasn’t.”
“Exactly.”
“Does anyone else know?”
“Yeah,” Mike said. “Nancy helped me figure it out. And I told my mom. She found me crying in the basement when I realized.”
“Is she okay with it?” Will asked.
“She is,” Mike told him. “She was really amazing about it, actually.”
“I’m glad.” Will took a shaky breath. “I think having my mom’s support is the only reason I survived telling everyone, if I’m being completely honest.”
Mike opened his mouth to respond, but the doorknob started rattling and he knew his roommate was back from classes for the day.
“Listen,” he said as his roommate entered the room, nodding curtly at him when he saw Mike sitting on the floor. “I have to go. I’m sorry.”
“Oh,” Will said, sounding surprised. “Okay, uh… that’s fine.”
“I’m sorry,” Mike said again. He looked up and saw that his roommate had his headphones over his ears, Walkman in hand. “My roommate just got back,” he whispered into the receiver.
“Ohh…” Will sounded a lot more understanding that time. “Okay, yeah. I get it.”
“You’re not mad at me?” Mike asked, maybe a little childlike, but he really didn’t care. This felt like the first good conversation he’d had with Will in forever, and he didn’t want to mess it up.
“No, Mike,” Will chuckled. “This isn’t really a ‘roommate-in-the-room’ conversation.”
“It’s really not,” Mike agreed. “But I’ll call you again sometime this week. Is that okay?”
“Yeah,” Will said. “That sounds great.”
“Awesome.”
“Hey, Mike?”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you.” Will’s voice was gentle again, vulnerable. “For listening to me. For letting me dump my relationship problems on you.”
“I’m not sure if telling me about your breakup from your partner of, what, like, five months qualifies as simply ‘dumping your relationship problems’ on me, but you’re welcome,” Mike said. “I’m always here if you need to talk.”
“Thank you,” Will said again. “And I’m always here for you too.”
“I know,” Mike said. “Still best friends?”
“Still best friends.” Mike could hear the smile in Will’s voice and he knew that meant that he’d done his job and cheered him up.
“Bye, Mike,” Will said.
“Bye, Will.”
And he hung up with a smile on his face for the first time in weeks.
Mike Wheeler was fucking bisexual.
Will was going to lose his fucking mind.
He was dying. He was dead. Michael Edward Fucking Wheeler was bisexual.
Will still wasn’t over the small heart attack Mike had given him when he’d said those words. He’d nearly dropped the phone in surprise. The boy he’d been in love with since Kindergarten was bisexual. He was actually an attainable option, not just some fantasy Will could want but never have.
He’d spent the last few years trying to convince himself he was over Mike. It had worked for a long time. It had worked up until literally ten minutes ago. But the second those two words left Mike’s mouth, Will’s whole world had been flipped (at risk of a bad pun) upside down. All the feelings he had for Mike, the ones he’d tried to push down since November of ’87, flooded right back up to the surface. And as soon as Mike hung up, he’d called Shelly, much too conflicted to sit alone with his thoughts.
When she finally showed up, Will tugged her into his room urgently, grateful that his roommate was spending the night with his girlfriend again.
“Jesus, Will, what happened?” Shelly asked, dark braids sticking out messily from their knot atop her head. She was wearing only a hoodie and sweatpants, far from the extravagant, artsy style she usually sported, indicating she’d been prepared for a relaxing night in, not a night playing damage control for Will’s disaster of a life.
“I have literally so much to tell you,” Will said, making her sit beside him on the bed.
“If this is about Carlton,” Shelly started, “I’ve told you to just break up with him already. Clearly it’s not working out if you’re so stressed about it.”
Will shook his head. “I broke up with him this afternoon.”
“What?” Shelly gaped at him.
Will nodded. “Yeah. We talked a little bit, and we both decided it wasn’t working out. So we broke up. I’m pretty sure it was mutual.”
“You’re pretty sure?” Shelly clarified.
“Pretty sure,” Will repeated. “I mean, he seemed okay with it and like he’d seen it coming. And I know I still want to be his friend, at least.”
Shelly thought about this. “Okay, yeah, that seems mutual.” Her voice softened when she asked, “Are you okay?”
And Will really was hoping he wouldn’t start crying again. He’d been crying so much in the last couple of weeks and he was getting really sick of it. But that inescapable lump in his throat started building again, and before he knew it, he was swallowing hard, trying to fight it back down. Talking with Mike had been a good distraction, but he was faced once again with the reality of losing his very first boyfriend, who he really did love very much.
“I don’t know,” he said and he cursed the way his voice shook. “I know it was the right call. But… I’m going to miss him so much.”
“Oh, honey…” Shelly wrapped her arms around him and pulled him close, much like Robin had done a few weeks before. “I’m sorry. Breakups fucking suck.”
Will laughed a little, sniffling. “How would you know? You’ve never been in a relationship.”
“Now is not the time for teasing, Byers,” Shelly said haughtily. Then she softened again. “And I know, because I’ve seen my friends go through them.”
“Fair enough,” Will conceded.
“It sounds like you want to stay friends, though?” Shelly clarified.
Will nodded. “Yeah. I hope so. I mean, we still have that biology class together and I really need him not to hate me so he can keep helping me with the homework…”
“Ah… staying friends for the academic benefits, I see,” Shelly joked, poking his shoulder.
“Friends with benefits,” Will said, wiping at his cheeks, “just not the benefits everyone expects.”
“Exactly.”
Will sighed, and his thoughts drifted to Mike once more. “I’m so screwed, Shelly,” he said.
She looked at him, confused. “Why do you say that?”
“You know the boy I told you about?” Will asked. “The one from home.”
“Like the one you were trying to convince yourself not to be in love with when you first got here?” Shelly asked, and Will nodded. “Yeah, I remember him. His name's Mike, right?”
Will sighed. “I just called him.”
“Are you serious-“
“It wasn’t because of that!” Will said. “At least not at first. It’s not like I was calling him because I’m single now and I wanted to see if he’d take me or anything like I know you’re thinking… I just needed someone to talk to, and honestly, he knows me better than anyone else in the whole world except for maybe my brother.”
“Okay…” Shelly leaned her head against the wall. “So you called Mike. What happened?”
“He told me he’s bisexual,” Will said.
“Are you shitting me?”
He groaned. “No! He’s actually bi and now I’m so conflicted because he’s finally an actual option, and he was talking about how he liked a boy back home and he just didn’t realize that it was a crush and now I really want to know who the guy was, and I hate to get my hopes up, but part of me thinks that maybe he was talking about me, but I don’t even know what I would do if he actually told me that he liked me because I literally just broke up with Carlton, and I don’t think I have the mental capacity to deal with the shit-show that is Mike Wheeler right now, no matter how much I still think I’m in love with him.”
“Damn,” Shelly said. “I’m honestly surprised you’re not crying more than you are right now. I would be a mess if I were you.”
Will wiped the tears from his eyes and flipped her off. “Boys don’t cry,” he said sarcastically, gesturing to the Cure poster above his bed.
“Uh-huh,” she replied, rolling her eyes fondly. “Okay, listen. Here’s what you’re going to do.”
“Do tell.”
“You’re going to take a break from everything, okay? It’s Friday night.” She looked him directly in the eyes. “Tomorrow morning, you’re going to take your brother’s car and drive back to your parents’ house for the weekend. Your brother can come with you if you’d like, but I think you need to go talk to your mom. From what you’ve told me about her, she’s very wise.”
Will chuckled. “She kind of is the best at this stuff.”
“So go talk to her. Or just get a hug from her. Take advantage of her living close by.”
Will nodded. “That’s not a bad idea. I’m not sure I should tell my stepdad about Mike though.”
“Why not?”
“He kind of hates him,” Will explained.
Shelly stared at him. “Why?”
Will shrugged. “I’m not entirely sure. I think it’s mostly a joke at this point, but when he was dating my sister, he basically threatened him or something to get them to break up, I guess? And even after they got back together, Mike still annoyed him. I think they’ve kind of made up now, especially after losing my sister, but it’s a running gag that he hates Mike Wheeler.”
“Wait, hold up,” Shelly stops him. “Mike, the boy you’ve liked for forever, dated your sister?”
Will smiled in spite of himself. “Yeah. It was kind of the worst.”
“Well, shit.”
“Exactly.”