Chapter Text
- Lily
- Hollander.
- What are you doing?
- )))
- Jane
- Just doing my morning workout.
- Why?
- Lily
- Send pic.
- Jane
- What.
- Why???
- Lily
- Why not?
- Jane
- …
- Here.
- Lily
- Fuck.
- Jane
- Huh?
Jane
Today, 9:21 AM
Ilya sighs, smiling to himself on his bed. Unlike Shane, he does not have much of a morning routine, nor was there any morning practice that day, and so Ilya is spending his morning scrolling through YouTube, falling into whatever rabbit holes his algorithm would send him to.
As he does so, his mind drifts to Shane.
Ilya knows that Shane Hollander is not exactly the most sociable person. That was even written in his introduction during the World Juniors back in 2008. Shane Hollander barely talked to people, and if he did, most of his conversations seemed practiced or incredibly and painfully awkward. However, Ilya noticed that he found it easier to talk to and understand Shane more than the others did.
Of course, they still had their difficult moments, but Shane was always more comfortable and looser when they interacted. Perhaps it was a subconscious thing.
Maybe it was that silent understanding that brought them together and led them to a casual relationship that involved clandestine meetings in the privacy of their hotel rooms, as no one other than themselves understood the other so well.
Ilya also had the gift of understanding Shane's body language at times when thoughts can't seem to translate into words. He knows when Shane feels uncomfortable, whether from the positions they were in, or the bedsheets were too scratchy, or if the water was not the right temperature, Ilya knows. And if he didn't, he learns not to make the same mistake again. Ilya also knows when Shane feels good, if the room smells good, and Ilya gives him his favorite drink, or when the thermostat is cold enough for this Canadian boy.
The only thing is… none of the tells Ilya has on Shane translates well through text.
Try as Ilya might, he already has a difficult time communicating through text, as he prefers physical conversations more. He does not know how to explain that sometimes he just loses interest in texting, and would also forget that texting exists.
Many times, Ilya had never gone past the texting stage in many of his "relationships". Even texting his friends a simple message or his family comes once in a blue moon. Several times, Ilya had been scolded by his coach and teammates for not reading the team group chats that may involve critical information for their training or the game they were playing.
Texting is genuinely just his weakness.
And yet Shane Hollander makes Ilya want to text. Like a miracle, or a gear finally put in its proper place, Ilya finds himself always on his phone. Texting and texting.
His team would also joke and jeer at him. Teasing him about his "schoolgirl crush" on this Jane girl that would finally make Ilya Rozanov actually open his messages for once. Many even asked if they could send Jane gifts such as flowers and chocolates, because one effect of Ilya always opening his phone is that he also reads the Boston Groupchat as well.
Even if Ilya kept texting and texting Shane, a lot of their messages are packed with… miscommunication.
Ilya is literally the one whose first language isn't English, and yet he's the one who has an easier time understanding jokes, double entendres, metaphors, and the list goes on and on. Not to say he's an expert in communication. He's shit at it, in both English and Russian. However, Shane Hollander needs to have those things spelled out first, before he understands anything.
And when Ilya means anything, he means anything.
Ilya is not one to judge, of course. He may be an asshole, but he'll chirp and tease Shane about anything other than the way he texts and how he contextualizes practically everything.
Shane's communication is not the problem here. Ilya even finds his way of taking things too literally endearing. The problem that needs fixing is how to keep them both on the same page and stay that way. Ilya will let Shane continue to be himself, but what can't keep happening is that Shane does not understand what Ilya means at all.
One thing that Ilya will never seem to understand is how, during the few times Ilya is honest and calls Shane pretty, or compliments him in any other way, Shane seems to interpret that as an insult.
"Pretty + Perfect = Insult" must be wired in Shane's brain.
That can't keep happening if Ilya wants to continue hooking up with Shane. Regularly hooking up is fun, but what makes it all the more fun is if both parties have established a sense of trust, both in bed and out of it.
He doesn't want to keep feeling guilty for complimenting Shane and making the boy feel sad in return. It also makes Ilya feel like a piece of shit if all he does is insult Shane. Chirping is fun. It's free. It's allowed. But if Shane has a hard time believing Ilya's compliments, how would that guarantee that Shane wouldn't internalize every chirp and insult and perceive it as truth?
What if Ilya was degrading him during sex, and suddenly Shane is begging him to genuinely stop? Or what if there comes a time when Shane wants him to be affirmed during sex, and Ilya does not see that?
They need to be on the same page for that to happen.
And so, Ilya does his research.
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How to talk to a boy
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Report inappropriate predictions
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Well… none of these options seems accurate at all. Okay, maybe some of these are correct.
Ilya presses "How to talk to a boy without being awkward" and proceeds to click the first link that pops up.
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WikiHow
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≡ |
Talking to a boy without awkwardness involves treating him like a normal person, being confident, and keeping the conversation light. Use open-ended questions about his interests, maintain friendly eye contact, and smile to make the interaction comfortable. Be yourself, ask questions about his hobbies, and focus on listening rather than preparing a perfect speech.
"Good communication is the bridge between confusion and clarity." — Nat Turner
Step 1: Smile and Utilize Body Language
- A friendly smile and comfortable body language make a big difference. You don't need to fill every second with talking. A small pause is normal. If you’re hanging out, choose an activity like playing a game, watching a movie, or going somewhere, which takes the pressure off constant conversation.
Step 2: Be Honest to Him
Compliment Sincerely: A simple, direct compliment about something they did or their style can boost their interest and make them comfortable. Remember to always be yourself, authenticity is attractive. Do not pretend to be someone you are not.
Step 3: What to Avoid
- Don't overanalyze and overthink every word you say. Don't start with a prepared speech or act like the conversation is incredibly important. Put your phone away to show you are engaged and interested. It is important that the person you are talking to, not just boys, knows you are interested in what they are doing.
Key Tips to take Note of:
- Be Direct and Confident: Don't be afraid to walk up and start a conversation. Simply saying "hi" and introducing yourself is effective.
- Use Small Talk: Start with neutral topics, such as asking about their day, weekend plans, or a shared experience like a class or event.
- Ask Open-Ended Questions: Ask questions that require more than a "yes" or "no" answer, such as "What’s the best part of your week?" or "What are you working on?".
- Show Genuine Interest: People love to talk about themselves, so ask about his hobbies, passions, or opinions.
- Listen Actively: Pay attention to their answers to ask follow-up questions, which keeps the conversation flowing naturally.
- Listen Actively: Pay attention to their answers to ask follow-up questions, which keeps the conversation flowing naturally.
- Keep It Casual: Treat him like a friend, not a target. This lowers the pressure and makes you appear more relaxed and approachable.
Some of the advice here seems pretty legit and effective, but they're not what Ilya needs! These are stuff that Ilya and Shane have already gone and worked through ever since their first conversation in 2008. They're way past that point. And the point of his research is so that they can talk on the phone, so why is one of the pieces of advice telling him to get off his phone?
Maybe Ilya should have pressed a different link. Or maybe he should have chosen another one of the options that Google had presented. Ilya just wanted a straight-to-the-point answer, but also a general answer. Maybe he should have pressed the more specific link?
How to talk to a boy |
Report inappropriate predictions |
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WikiHow
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≡ |
To talk to a boy on the phone confidently, start with a light, positive tone and ask open-ended questions about his interests, hobbies, or day to encourage conversation. Keep it engaging by sharing details about yourself, using humor, and keeping initial calls relatively short to leave him wanting more. Listen actively and remember he is just a person, making it a two-way street.
"Your phone is a tool for communicating. You shouldn’t be communicating with the phone; you should be communicating with somebody on the other side of the phone." — Andy Rubin
Step 1. Preparation
- Have a plan: Before calling, know what you want to talk about. Jot down a few topics to avoid awkward silences. Ensure he is likely free so he doesn’t feel rushed or annoyed. Find a quiet, private spot where you can talk freely without interruptions.
Step 2: Initiating a Conversation
Start with a friendly greeting: Keep it simple and light, like "Hey, how's your day going?" Mention something relevant to both of you, such as "I just saw Tangled and thought you'd like it," or ask about his day. If you have common interests or know a hobby he has, bring it up. For example, "How did that game go last weekend?".
Step 3: During the Conversation
- Listen actively: Show you are listening by asking follow-up questions and offering your own thoughts. This keeps the dialogue going. While it’s fine to discuss deeper topics, try to keep initial calls fun and energetic. Simple, genuine compliments about his style, humor, or a recent achievement can boost his comfort level. A few seconds of silence is okay. Use it to switch topics or share a random thought, like "Oh, I forgot to tell you this".
Step 4: Ending the Call
- End on a high note: Wrap up the conversation while it is still going well, rather than waiting for it to get awkward or boring. Say something like, "I have to go do [activity] now, but I enjoyed talking to you!" It implies you want to talk to him again. Propose another time to talk or mention hanging out in person.
Well… this wasn't about texting, but Ilya will take note of this article. Maybe it will be useful in the future when Shane wants to call him? Ilya would like that. Shane's voice makes Ilya feel safe and comfortable, but before they could move on to calls, texting must be mastered first.
Just as he was about to open up Google once again, a notification pops up on his screen.
His mouth stretches into a wide grin when he sees that Shane has just sent him another message.
What were they talking about again? Ilya got distracted from all his research on communicating with someone and only got answers he already knew, or that were not relevant to his context or research topic.
Ilya was a fucking idiot. He was so lost in his research that he forgot to reply to Shane. That's exactly why he's doing his research, so that Shane doesn't overthink about what Ilya does outside of text! If WikiHow won't be of much help, Ilya must— in Cliff's terms— wing it.
He sighs, wacking his forehead, before replying to Shane.
…
Ilya deletes the message and types out another response.
Ilya shuts his phone and looks up at the ceiling of his bedroom.
Maybe he'll just Google another time.
₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊˚
For someone who so vehemently denies that he does not believe in the superstitious side of pre-game rituals, he always believes that each time Ilya texts him before a game is a bad omen and a sign that the Voyageurs will not be winning the game they are playing. That's bullshit, by the way. Around 70% of the games Shane plays in, where Ilya would bother him before a game, are won.
And maybe… Ilya gets off on an angry Shane Hollander.
Ilya pauses his time with his phone to discreetly look down at his crotch while seated on his couch. He was surrounded by some of the Boston Bears, one of them being the ever perceptive and dangerously nosy Cliff Marlow, who keeps asking him about his "Jane". They were there to watch the Voyageurs-Buffalos game.
He meant what he said. Shane Hollander is like a cute kitty when angry, and all that anger is converted into rough sex when they finally see each other in Montreal, Boston, or even the MLH Awards. That's why Ilya never stops with the pre-game sexting.
The only time texting seems to be successful for him even though the man is still painfully oblivious to any kind of innuendo that Ilya sends his way unless it is spelled out for him. Sexting is only most effective when Ilya sends texts like they are instruction manuals.
Ilya is very self-aware of how much of a boyfailure he is right now.
Ilya is smart. He knows he is. Shane Hollander may have the higher hockey IQ, but in general academic subjects, Ilya was always great at them, especially advanced mathematics. It only took a year in Boston for him to become conversationally fluent in English. It even shows through how he texts Shane! Proper grammar, punctuation, and everything.
But in the presence of Shane, his accent seems to thicken, his English all but leaves his brain.
Now, Ilya is questioning everything he knows about English because the way he understands English is not how Shane understands it. He's already resorted to Google searches and WikiHow articles that are more useless than not, and yet Ilya can't help but continue using WikiHow because at least the website can be of some help to Ilya's communication issues.
WikiHow may not be fully accurate, but it has been greatly helpful in other ways.
Who else would he open up to and talk about boy troubles with? The only person who knows about his secret is Shane, himself. Is Ilya willing to tell Shane that he's working so hard just for them to have proper communication? Hell no! That shit's embarrassing!
Shane loves it when Ilya teases and prods him, but only when they see each other. In text, it seems Shane gets more annoyed than entertained by Ilya's antics, which, in Ilya's opinion, is a blow to his pride.
Again, Ilya repeats to himself, texting isn't really his strong suit.
It's a weakness.
He's meant for physical connection, not a long-distance-whatever-he-has with Shane Hollander. Texting only makes Ilya want to see Shane sooner, but not texting makes him want to text Shane Hollander, and he hates texting.
It seems the only times that he and Shane are on the same boat via text are if both their dicks are hard and turned on, communicating like walkie-talkies from 300 miles apart. But that is why WikiHow is there, to help him where no one else can.
| How to talk to a boy |
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WikiHow
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Texting a guy can feel like decoding a secret language, but it’s actually simpler than it seems! Whether you’re reaching out to a long-time crush or a new acquaintance, the goal is to be engaging, authentic, and clear. Follow these steps to master the art of digital conversation.
Step 1: Breaking the Ice
- Always start with a "hook". Avoid the dreaded "Hey" or "Hi". These are low-effort and often lead to dead-end conversations. Instead, mention something specific to him. ex. "I just saw a trailer for that movie you mentioned. It looks wild!"
- Ask an open-ended question! Give him room to actually talk. Questions that start with "How", "Why", or "What" require more than a one-word answer. Try: "What's the best thing you ate this weekend?" instead of "Did you have a good weekend?"
- Use a "Situational" Opener. If you aren't sure what to say, send a photo of something you're doing or seeing that reminds you of an inside joke. Maybe send a photo of you going to a coffee shop he recommended, or trying out his favorite sport!
Step 2: Keeping the Momentum
- Remember to mostly match his energy. If he sends short, quick replies, don't send him a "wall of text". Aim for a similar length and frequency to keep the vibe balanced. Be warned, do not play games by waiting exactly 20 minutes to reply. If you're free and want to talk, just reply!
- Remember to sprinkle some light teasing. Playful banter builds chemistry. If he makes a silly mistake or has a "hot take", poke a little fun at him and tease him for it. Do not mistake teasing with outright mocking, though!
- Emojis help clarify your tone, so always remember to use them to avoid miscommunication. Texting lacks body language, so a well-placed emoji can prevent a joke from being taken seriously. Don't overuse them, as too much can be a bit overwhelming.
Step 3: Knowing When to Wrap Up
- End the conversation while it's still good. Don't wait until you both run out of things to say. Ending on a high note leaves him wanting more. Say something like, "I gotta head out, but let's continue this talk later!"
- Avoid and be mindful of the "double text" trap. If he hasn't replied to your last message, resist the urge to send another. Give him space to be busy. If he doesn't reply for a day or two, he might just be occupied—or he might not be the right match.
- Move the Conversation Offline. The goal of texting is to eventually see him in person! Once you've had a few good back-and-forth exchanges, suggest meeting up.
Finally! An article that makes sense and is actually helpful!
"Rozy! The game is on! Are you gonna fuckin' watch or will you keep texting Jane?" Connor shouts from the bean bag close to the television.
Ilya shuts his phone and shouts back, "Go fuck yourself, Connie!"
Cliff chuckles at their antics, sitting down beside Ilya, a bundle of snacks in his arms. Ilya sees the amount of chips and energy drinks that he knows he just bought and resists the urge to pinch his brows together in frustration. Some of those snacks were Shane's favorite diet-friendly chips.
"What is your lady telling you this time, Roz?" Cliff wiggles his eyebrows at Ilya. "She got you blushing like crazy."
Ilya huffs. "Again? I tell you all this! Russians—"
"Do not blush!" The rest of the team finishes for him.
Ilya rolls his eyes. "Bagskates! All of you!"
The team groans.
"Nah. That threat won't work on us anymore, Rookie Cap." Ryan drawls from the kitchen, taking a can of soda from his fridge. "You got us used to that kind of torture the moment you took charge this year."
"Still can't believe it's the rook we used to haze that became Cap." Says Brad, who sat on the other side of Ilya.
"Just for reminding me of that, I will ask Coach if you can also be the plumber of our arena for the next few weeks." Ilya grumbles.
"No!" Brad gasps. "The fucking shitstreaks left behind are fucking cemented on there!"
"Exactly why you'll clean them."
Cliff barks out a laugh. "Man, now who's being hazed here?"
"Do you want to join Hams, Marley?" Ilya turns to him.
Cliff turns pale. "Nope!"
- Lily
- Why did you treat this game like it's the playoffs?
- You sent the Buffalos home crying.
- You made their team look even more shit than they already do.
- 10-2 is just sad. For them.
- And for half of my team that bet against Montreal just because.
- You made my cock jump in excitement.
- Jane
- Well, I don't rjKJDKJSBFKJWB
- Lily
- ???
- Good evening to you too, Rozanov.
- I was going to respond to your earlier message, but after seeing that photo, I suddenly forgot what I was going to say.
- Lily
- You like what you see?😏
- I had to change my position several times so my team didn't notice I was hard.
- Jane
- Oh, I made you hard?
- You left me so pent up the entire game, asshole!
- Lily
- My kitten was angry at me the whole game?
- No wonder you played like that.
- So hot. Feisty.
- Jane
- 😒
- Lily
- How hard were you?
- I sent you a pic, now it's your turn.
- Jane
- You made me so hard.
- Lily
- Fuck. Hollander.
- The entire time?
- You didn't touch yourself? Not even once?
- Jane
- I didn't feel like it.
- Not without you.
- Lily
- Oh, my good boy.
- You did everything just right.
- Jane
- I did?
- Lily
- Yes.
- You can touch yourself, you know?
- I am touching myself right now.
- Jane
- Oh.
- Lily
- Are you touching yourself?
- You aren't replying, that means you are.
- My good boy.
- Touch yourself for me.
- Jane
- I need you.
- I can't cum without you, please.
- Lily
- What do you need me to do?
- Jane
- Call me.
- Please.
- I need you.
- Lily
- Of course.
- Jane
- Thank you.
- Lily
- Anytime.
- Jane
- Goodnight, Rozanov.
- Lily
- Sleep well, Hollander.
Jane
Today, 11:35PM
Call Ended, 12:48 AM
Call Lasted: 1 Hour and 12 Minutes
Ilya blows out a plume of smoke as the light on his phone eventually turns off. He smiles to himself as he remembers how much Shane was begging for him on the phone. A part of himself wishes he were beside Shane, right now, just to give him the usual aftercare.
Subconsciously, his hand drifts to the chain of his mother's cross. Ilya thinks of a world where his mother was still alive and that she met Shane.
₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊˚
Ilya takes a deep breath, and by deep breath, a very deep, deep breath.
This systematic sub is driving Ilya and his own nuts fucking nuts.
Again, Ilya reminds himself that Shane's communication skills are not the issue. The issue is how to get them on the same page. And yet Ilya still hasn't found a way to get them on the same page! Fuck this shit!
He and Shane are meant to be in a casual agreement, but how can they stay casual continuously if they aren't communicating!?
Ilya groans, slamming his head against the cupboard when he's suddenly overwhelmed with the stench of something burning. His eyes snap open wide when he looks at the pan on his gas stove that's on fire.
"Suka blyat!" Ilya curses his distracted state, almost dropping his phone as he scrambled to put it out by turning the heat off and putting a lid on top. "Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit." Ilya cursed repeatedly like a mantra, waiting for the fire to die down.
When the fire finally died, Ilya groaned once more, in his own, embarrassing despair.
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WHY ARE BOYS
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WikiHow
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Texting an oblivious boy can feel like sending messages into a black hole. Whether he misses your digital flirting, gives one-word answers to deep questions, or simply doesn't "get" your memes, you need a strategy that bypasses the subtext. To get a real response, you have to stop "hint-texting" and start "direct-texting".
Step 1: Writing the Perfect Message
- Use "The Headline" Method. Oblivious boys often skip long paragraphs and respond only to the first and last sentences. Put the most important information or your actual question at the very beginning, and the follow-up at the last sentence.
- Kill the sarcasm and overusage of ellipses. Sarcasm is notoriously hard to read over text for an oblivious boy. It's nearly impossible! Avoid using "…" or dry humor that relies on him sensing your tone. If you are joking, use a literal emoji like 😂 or 😜 to flag it. If you're being serious, use a period. Don't leave him guessing.
- Ask close-ended questions! If you ask, "How was your day?", you'll get "Fine." If you want a real conversation, ask for a specific opinion or a choice. Try this! "Which should I get for dinner? Tacos or sushi?" or "Did you see that wild play in the third period?"
Step 2: Sending Clear Signals
- If you're waiting for him to suggest a hangout, you might be waiting forever. If you want to see him, send a text with a specific time and place. For example: "I am going to the cottage at 3:00 in the afternoon. You should come meet me." It removes guesswork and is straight to the point.
- Be clear with your intentions. If you are flirting and he isn't biting, he probably thinks you are just being "extra friendly". Occasionally, send a text that clarifies your vibe.
- Limit the ghost hints and be upfront. Don't send "Hey" or "WYD" and expect him to carry the conversation. Oblivious boys need a "hook" to respond to. Give him a specific piece of news, a photo of something cool, or a direct question to react to.
Step 3: Managing the Reply (or Lack Thereof)
- If he leaves you on read for three hours, don't assume he's mad or playing games. He likely read it, got distracted by a sandwich or a video game, and forgot he didn't hit "send" on his reply. Don't overthink or overanalyze.
- If he hasn't replied to a question after a day, it’s okay to send one (and only one) follow-up that changes the subject. It "bumps" your name to the top of his inbox without looking desperate.
- Know When to Put the Phone Down. If you find yourself explaining every single text or feeling like a tech-support agent for your own personality, take a break. Sometimes "oblivious" is a shield for "uninterested." Give him space to reach out to you first.
Google and WikiHow are very helpful in this article, but in the end, Ilya also felt somewhat… insulted. Because these searches and articles are meant to help him be on the same page as Shane Hollander, Ilya now feels as if he were the one the article was written about.
Ilya smiles, satisfied with himself. He mutes Svetlana again, as he so usually does to avoid her random hockey tandems, before opening up his chat with Jane.
As Ilya closes their chat, he frowns, noticing weird messages and notifications coming from his and Svetlana's chats.
- Ilya
- Sveta, I am sorry for all the times I have been stupid around you.
- Svetlana
- WHAT THE FUCK!?
- Ilyusha.
- What the hell is happening???
- Svetlana
- YOU HAVEN'T LOST YOUR MIND AND ENDED IT HAVE YOU!?
- ILYA
- ILYA
- ILYA
- Svetlana
- I'M GOING TO CALL MARLOW
- Ilya
- NO!
- Svetlana
- YOU IDIOT!
- IMBECILIC PIECE OF SHIT!
- Ilya
- Svetlana
- WHAT MADE YOU THINK IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO SEND ME A CRYPTIC, UNCHARACTERISTIC, MESSAGE BEFORE FUCKING OFF THE FACE OF THE PLANET?
- Ilya
- Sveta, I was just preoccupied with something else!
- I was just having communication issues with Jane, and because of that, I remembered all the times I was an idiot, and you had to take care of me. I just wanted to fix that, so Jane and I understand each other more.
- And please tell me you didn't contact Marlow.
- I don't even remember giving you his contact!
- Svetlana
- You underestimate me, Ilyusha.
- Just for that, you owe me another apology.
- Ilya
- Fuck.
- You DID message Marlow!
- Svetlana
- Forget about that! Let's focus on the fact that you're only apologizing to me for all the hardships you put me through with your brawn with no brain head only after you realize you suck at communicating with you "casual" hookup?
- Ilya
- Oh my God.
- Sveta, it isn't like that!
- Svetlana
- Ilyusha.
- I still have no idea how you graduated secondary school with a gold medal and aced the EGE.
- I am not stupid. And I am sure Jane isn't either.
- I guess when it comes to matters of the heart, women are superior in that aspect.
- Ilya
- Right…
- Svetlana
- ...
- The point is!
- When are you going to stop pretending that you are falling for this woman? How long are you going to drag this on?
- Ilya, maybe you noticed it or not, but Jane is changing you for the better, and you are happier! You literally just admitted you are trying to improve your already shit communication skills. Sure, you talk to a lot of people, but anything deeper, that involves vulnerability? You shut it down!
- Jane does not deserve that, and you don't either. You would end up hurting yourself, Ilya.
Svetlana
Today, 11:45 AM
5 Missed Calls
8 Missed Calls
Today, 12:23 AM
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How to know if you like a boy
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WikiHow
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Figuring out if your feelings for someone are "just friendly" or something more can be confusing. If you find yourself constantly thinking about him, use these three methods to help decode your heart. Method 1: Analyzing Your Thoughts
- Notice if he is your "default" thought. When you have a random break in your day or see something funny, is he the first person you want to tell? If his face pops into your head the moment you wake up or right before you go to sleep, it’s a strong sign you’re crushing.
- Check if you’ve started romanticizing mundane moments. Think about the last time you hung out. If you find yourself replaying simple conversations in your head or smiling at a boring text he sent, you are likely emotionally invested.
Method 2: Observing Your Physical Reactions
Perform a "body scan" when he’s around. Pay attention to how your body reacts to his presence. Do you get "butterflies" in your stomach, or do your palms get slightly sweaty? Physical nervousness—often called "the spark"—is your body’s way of signaling attraction.
Watch your eye contact. Do you find yourself looking for him in a crowded room? If you frequently lock eyes and then look away quickly because you’re shy, or if you find it hard to look away because you’re captivated, the chemistry is there.
Method 3: Evaluating Your Behavior
- Look for "Micro-Efforts." Have you started dressing differently when you know he’ll be there? Or perhaps you’ve suddenly taken an interest in a hobby he likes, like a specific band or sport. Making small changes to your routine to be more "compatible" with him is a classic sign of a crush.
- Gauge your jealousy. Imagine him going on a date with someone else. If the thought makes you feel a sharp pang of annoyance or sadness, your feelings have likely moved past the "friend zone." Healthy, mild jealousy is often the clearest indicator that you want him for yourself.
Ilya's heart was thumping violently against his chest.
He was in love.
He, Ilya "Russia's Greatest Fuck Machine" Rozanov, is falling in love with a stupid Canadian boy, with a stupid smile, with stupid freckles, and shittier social skills. One with the hottest body that one could ever find, with pecs the perfect size for Ilya to bite and suck on.
What can he do about it? How can he deal with that problem?
He knows what that means in Russia.
A propaganda law had just been passed this year— people like Ilya and, perhaps, more so Shane, would get persecuted and marginalized soon enough. Most especially, celebrities who promote it. Ilya is considered a celebrity— if he says anything or if he continues to party as he did whenever he's in Russia, he could fuck his life over, and maybe fuck up the lives of the people around him!
His father may be a high-ranking policeman, but he knows that high-ranking he is in a much more vulnerable and unprotected position because of that.
Holy shit… what about the fucking Olympics?
Ilya snaps out of his deep thinking through the frantic, panicked knocks from the glass window to his side.
He turns to it and almost jumps when he sees Cliff Marlow standing there, sweaty, with a skid mark(?) on his cheek. What the hell happened to him?
Out of the goodness of Ilya's cold, Russian heart, he let this poor, unfortunate soul in.
Cliff left only an hour and a half later, after being kicked out by Ilya for teasing him about Jane calling him nonstop.
Ilya knows it's a bad idea, now that he knows his feelings for Shane Hollander are going past… casual. He knows it's a stupid, "idiotic", and "imbecilic" idea— inspired by Svetlana's words— but he answers the call anyway.
"Fucking finally, Rozanov! Where the hell have you been?"
A smile creeps up on Ilya's face.
"I was taking a shit."
"Oh, fuck you, asshole! I know you forgot."
He snorts. "I didn't! I didn't! I promise!"
₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊˚
Formal Invitation – XXII Olympic Winter Games Inbox ✖
Федерация хоккея России 9:00 AM (1 hour ago)
to me ▼
Mr. Ilya Grigoryevich Rozanov
2886 Beacon Street, Unit 1
Boston, MA 02116
Mr. Ilya Grigoryevich,
On behalf of the Russian Ice Hockey Federation and the National Team Coaching Staff, it is a distinct honor to formally invite you to join the Russian National Men’s Ice Hockey Team for the upcoming 2014 Olympic Winter Games in Sochi.
Your exceptional skill, dedication to the sport, and consistent performance have earned you a place among the elite athletes chosen to represent the Russian Federation on the world stage. We believe your presence will be instrumental in our pursuit of Olympic Gold on home ice.
Please report to the National Training Center in Novogorsk by February 2nd for the commencement of our final pre-Olympic training camp.
We look forward to standing together as we strive for victory and national pride.
Sincerely,
Zinetula Sokolov
Head Coach, Russian National Team
Nikolai Tretiak
President, Russian Ice Hockey Federation
ATTACHMENTS:
Official Document.pdf (9 KB)
After the Olympics, after the humiliating loss against Latvia, against all the abuse and vitriol sent Ilya's way, he just couldn't find it in himself to face Shane. It's not that Ilya wanted to end whatever he had or couldn't have with Shane.
He just… really, couldn't face Shane. He couldn't face him, unless he was on the ice. Nor could he reply to his texts. He just couldn't.
He thinks that maybe it would be Shane who'd get sick of him, once he sees how much of a lazy, unmotivated failure Ilya was. He could handle all the shit thrown his way from everybody else… but not Shane. Never Shane. Ilya does not know what he'll do if Shane is the one who rejects him, no matter how deserving Ilya is of Shane's rejection.
He used all these vulnerabilities and moments of weakness as fuel and motivation to prove himself.
And true enough, he won the Stanley Cup in 2014, beating Shane for the record of "Youngest Captain to Win a Cup", all because of one injured Goalie.
It was only in Vegas that he faced Shane Hollander once again and rekindled whatever they had.