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His best friend was gone.
Katie's brother was gone, Scott's best friend, A Blue kingdom knight, A past king, Someone the people cared for, Someone 4c cared for. Nom Bravery, is gone.
His brother was gone. He thought as he sat in a corner in the attic of Cherri and Apo's house, or,, actually it was his now, because they had gone back to Soluna. He sat in a corner in the attic of his house? Okay.
He had been trying to go to sleep for hours now, but he couldn't. His brother was gone, he would never see him again. He would never see his best friend, the person who saved him, who brought him here, who gave him everything, the person who he loved because he was kind, and caring, and loved his people, His brother is gone.
His eyes wide open as he continued to stare at the entrance to the attic, as if someone would come through it, and tell him everything was okay, that his brother wasn't dead. Obviously that wasn't going to happen, the world wasn't like that, people didn't come back from the dead, not right atleast.
He sighed, closing his eyes tightly, rubbing them with the palms of his hands. He had taken off his gloves earlier, he had been having a bit of a moment and in his panic decided that having them on was too much. In that same panic was when he came up here and tucked himself tightly into the corner of the large room, backing himself up to a wall where he could clearly see the ladder he came up from.
Letting himself lean forward slightly, curling in on himself, bringing his legs up so he can rest his chin on his knees. Putting his arms around his legs, he started picking at one of the tears in his pants, pulling at the strings as he blinked lazily at it, vision going blurry at moments.
He missed Nom. He had been missing Nom for weeks, it hadn't been the first time he regreted lying to him the way he did, but it stung now espesically because 4c would not see him again. He couldn't go to blue kingdom and watch as Nom talked to people or trained, he couldn't just go and see that he was okay. He did it quite often in the last week, tho he tended to watch out for Mae or Shan during those weeks aswell.
He would never joke with him again, he would never pickpocket and give the items back, he would never tease him or have talks with him. 4c would never feel Nom's arms around him, on days when 4c felt less there then normal, and Nom would notice and give him a hug that made 4c melt into the other. Tho 4c had already thought that would never happen again, and now he genuinely wouldn't get it again.
4c would never hear his best friends voice again.
He let out a shakey breathe, putting his hand to the floor, letting his fingers tap the wooden flooring, four times with his left, then seven with his right. A habit that he's had for awhile, it calmed him enough to let him look around the room and shake his head.
A whine came from his throat, it was sharp and more of a sad trill then an actual whine. He felt tears well up in his eyes and blinked rapidly to try and get them away, feeling them run down his cheeks. He never liked crying, but he'd done alot of it recently.
It had been less then a day since Nom died, and 4c felt like his life was going to fall apart, his entire life for a year, almost two, was Nom. He orbited the other like the earth did the sun, feeling spoiled in all the light he showered onto 4c, light that 4c felt was undeserved. That sun had gone away only weeks ago, and 4c had to deal with the starving that came after, the hurt and suffering Nom put him through, and what he imposed onto himself aswell.
He had gotten better tho, with red kingdom, with Katie, and he was happy for himself. He felt greedy, everytime they showed him care or affection, which was admittedly quite common in red. He would do anything to protect his new home, and the people he cared for. One of those people was dead now.
Trying to think of anything else was hard, he had been living without the other for weeks now, but Nom was still there, still alive, a kingdom over, and now he wasn't. It made his face tense up and it hurt, it hurt to think about.
Shaking his head again, and patting his cheeks, trying to bap the tears off his face. He really hated crying, it was awful and made him feel messy and pathetic. Weak.
He shook slightly, as he decided to try and get up, stumbling slightly before leaning himself on the wall when he finally stood up. This really shouldn't be hard for him, he didn't know why he was shaking so much.
He sighed as he found his balance. There was still tears running down his face, and his vision was slightly blurry, but he had decided on something.
He missed company, it hadn't been to long since he'd seen another person, only half the night had gone by, but he felt increasingly lonely. He was so alone. This house was big and empty without the two women who built it living alongside.
Walking to the ladder, he scaled down it, dropping down. There was no bounce in his step as he walked to the stairs and down them, going through living courters that he would put a use to eventually but for now stayed empty. Going to the front door, he opened it, getting hit with the cold outside air.
Stepping out, it wasn't dark, the lamps kept things nicely lit up but when he walked outside the porch of the house, he could look up and see the night sky. A million stars lighting it up, shimmering in the void. They were very pretty but not actually what he was looking for.
Looking around the area, he spotted the window in the side of the red's knights housing, and so, going up to the wall of it, he started climbing.
Getting up to the window, he climbed through it. The room was dimly lit, the only light coming from the doorway, the lights that he knew were coming from the bedroom. He walked through the room, getting to the doorway he could hear pencil on paper, the faint noise that he knew meant someone awake.
Stopping in the doorway he looked towards where he knew the bed was, He could see, on the bed, in a criss cross sit, leaned over a book, rapidly writing in it, was Katie. He had expected her to be here, of course, it was her bedroom, but he hadn't expected her awake. Looking slightly closer, her face was wet with what he could assume was tears, whether it was fresh or not he couldn't tell.
He felt awkward, he knew he was allowed here, Katie had literally allowed him to stay in this bedroom for the majority of his time in red. Most of his nights had been spent in her bed, he respawned there even. But for some reason, he couldn't get himself to go in another step, stuck at the doorway, looking at his friend. Looking at his sister.
It wasn't strange, to think, Katie was his sister. She was extremely important to him and 4c cared so deeply for her, but until Katie had said it, until Katie had said he was her brother, He hadn't realized it, hadn't put to much thought into it. It was new, but not unwelcomed in his brain. The words themselves were new, but the feeling had been there for awhile.
He was slightly leaning on the wood of the doorway, having his hand on it, softly, he tapped four times, Stopped, put his other hand on the wood, and tapped seven times. It felt heavily off to only do the four. With the last tap, he sighed and saw as Katies head whipped towards the doorway, eyes wide, looking at him, shoulders hunched before quickly going down when she saw it was him.
"4c?" She whispered, closing her book and putting it to the side, along with the pencil she was writing with. He stared at her, he wanted to speak, say hi, ask how she's doing, why she wasn't asleep, but the thought of opening his mouth made him feel heavier then heavy. She looked confused, leaning back, she patted the spot in the bed next to her, tilting her head towards it.
He tapped the flooring with his foot twice before starting to walk towards her. He sat on the bed, bouncing slightly as Katie put her arm around him and pulled him towards her. Grabbing her hand, the one not around him, he put his fingers to her wrist, feeling for a pulse. It was silly, probably, Katie was very much alive and in front of him, moving around as she put her head on his and watched his actions.
Feeling her viens under her skin, he felt the blood pumping through her skin. Healthy, alive, right there, beside him. He pushed into the other, letting himself curl up next to her as Katie pulled them up more into the pillows of her bed.
Lying beside eachother, Together. It was going to be okay, He had his sister, Things will go on, and he will be by her side, and she will be by his, it's all he can hope for. Things will go on, and they will live and love onwards.
He missed Nom, and more then anything, he wished that Nom was with them, but that wasn't going to happen, so he will continue to be here, with Katie, never forgetting the memory of their brother. His memory not forgotten, him being with them in every way but physical.
Things will go on, and 4c will have to live with that. In every way possible, things will continue, despite everything going wrong at times, despite how much pain and suffering the world has put him through, Things will continue. 4cvit will continue.