Chapter Text
The stars were beautiful tonight. Twisting and twinkling with a purpose that not even the greatest minds could fathom.
I wish i could be like the stars, beautiful, admired by many, existing without worrying what others think.
But instead i stumble down the sidewalk, walking home after another long night at the dive bar downtown. I didnt even like drinking, i hated being drunk, even if it was a little buzz. but it was the sacrifice i paid for a little bit of community on the lonelier nights.
Thinking of it now i probably should have accepted that ride from Jen– the pretty bartender with long coily black hair and rectangle glasses– it would have helped with the anxiety. She just looked so tired, i felt so guilty keeping her out longer than she had to be.
The streets were dark, the endless litter filling the shoulders next to the sidewalk slowly starting to distract me from the thought that i was alone.
I was a short woman all alone in the dark.
What if someone saw me and just decide that my life is over-
Discarded baggies, shooters and crushed fast food containers glitter like forgotten relics as a truck passes by. All the makings of what humanity has devolved to. That only made me feel heavier, that growing pit in my chest breaking through the sweat that the alcohol created to make me shiver.
"Hey!"
The shiver shot into a full body jolt that made my neck and shoulders soar. My head wipping around making the word spin before i could entirely processed the echo.
"Im fuckin' talkin' to you asshole! Look at me!"
Middlebrige was a small town, the kind you pass through and forget about in a matter of minutes. We still had miscreants, sure, but the moment the town decided to rent out what used to be the parking lot of the old highschool, there was a whole new problem.
"Its you fucks isn't it? You've been takin' people! Our people! Say somethin'! Say somethin' you demonic piece of shit!"
The Circus. The Freak Circus of Horrors to be more specific. An 18+ horror event taking advantage of the frenzy for everything freaky that October brought with it.
It wasnt bad, wasnt bad at all actually. I've been once with a few friends, admittedly not sober but i cant say it didnt dazzle me.
Im such a nerd for shit like that, the art of making somebody actually scared instead of just making them jump took a certain amount of skill you just dont see nowadays.
Especially the special effects, oh god the special effects. I yapped Charlie's ear off about that when it was all said and done, the time and effort youd have to put into making it look and feel so *real*
It was admirable, in my eyes at least.
It was clear older folks didn't like it, probably because they couldn't just drop their kids off and leave. 'Demonic' 'Heresy' 'a waste of my tax dollars'– ive head it all, just didnt care to listen for too long.
I round the corner only to find the source of the yelling.
A man yelling at one of the masked performers from the circus.
The man was smaller than him, grabbing him by the collar of his uniform and throwing him to the ground, his fists making quick rapid solid impacts in a blind rage. The performers long gloved hands go to guard his face, the mans fists making contact with whatever they could each.
That pit in my stomach seemed to burst, sending me shooting forward without even fully processing it.
"Stop! Stop! The fuck is wrong with you!" My voice was nothing more than a squeal as i grab at the mans shirt, catching him off guard enough to throw him back against the hard sidewalk.
What was even worse i recognized him, he was a regular at the donut shop i worked at. A middle aged man who would always talk about his daughter, comparing me to her only to flirt with me in the same breath.
"Huh-?"
"The fuck you mean 'huh'? You just attacked somebody! What the hell is wrong with you?!" I leaned over him as i spoke, pointing a finger at him that was clearly trembling. It only made me angrier when i notice it, every single time i get mad i shake like i could fall apart at any moment.
It made me feel weak.
"The fuck do you know? Thats right, Nothing. You know nothing. You stay outta it." He got up, hovering over me just like i did, his face close to mine. I could feel his breath "Stay away from these fuckin' freaks- Monsters. they steal woman and girls. They'll-"
I shoved him away, what felt like a sob building up in my throat only to come out as a growling heave that sounded more like a wild animal than a human.
"Walk away"
"No-"
"Walk away"
my hand brushed my hoodie out of the way as i put my hand behind my back, reaching for my waistband, a dangerous motion we both understood.
Thankfuly, he backed off, a frustrated growl leaving his mouth.
I was bluffing, i didn't have a gun, nor did i own one. Just being in the presence of one gave me an impending sense of doom.
Being small just makes you realize that prey animals have it all figured out, you really do have to fake it till you make it
"Fine. Fine! Just know i wont be cryin' in my soup when i see your face on a missin' poster. Stupid slut!"
It was silent for a second. my hand dropped noisily back to my side, the distant hum of a car nearby, the wipping of the wind, the buzz of static in my ears. The same sort of melancholy like a sad song at the end of a movie.
I gasped as i felt a hand on my shoulder, my elbow immediately launching backwards on instinct, knocking the guy- er- clown i just saved in the stomach. He stumbled back, his hands holding his stomach, looking at me with eyes full of sadness and confusion.
"Fuck-....fuckfuckfuckfuck im so sorry-"
That was it, the adrenaline and alcohol finally getting to me, making tears start to cloud my already poor vision
"Im so sorry, im sssorry- i didn't– sorry"
That was beyond pathetic, my stupid mouth continuing to mumble out incoherent apologies over and over like i could change that.
"God damn it- i just made things worse"
I cover my face, trying to wipe away tears when i felt hands encircle me, pulling me into a warm hug that almost made me choke on my own spit.
"..Its okay...i forgive you.."
His voice was soft but undoubtedly broken, hoarse but steady and weighted, almost like he hadn't talked in a long while.
I stood there for who knows how long, too shocked to even move. It felt weird to be held like this, uncomfortably unfamiliar but somehow comforting.
"Damn it- you- you're gonna make me cry- cry more" i let out a tittering laugh at my own expense, my face still in my hands, my arms locked together between my and his chest.
he pulled away with a desperate shake of his head, his hand coming up in an attempt to wipe tears away from my cheeks before i stopped him, pulling my face away with a whine i didn't mean to make.
"No- no. I shouldn't be crying..this should be the- the other way around. You got punched!"
Now that i got a look at him, there was a red mark blooming on his cheek, marring the white skin that i originally thought was a mask.
"You're okay rrright? You didn't bite the inside of your che-cheek or nothin' " i wipe my eyes again, pulling myself back together with a deep breath.
Even through sniffles i brush off the dirt and loose gravel from his uniform, readjusting the wrinkled fabric to look somewhat presentable.
His eyes, once small pinpricks, now expanded to large blotches of yellow light. i thought those eyes were fake, but instead i watched as they flick and move, looking me over before meeting my eyes.
They expanded slowly once again.
It was sort of terrifying, the hair on the back of my neck standing up in warning, but my brain made it clear it didnt agree with my nerves as i felt butterflies form in my stomach.
Or maybe that was the alcohol, only god knows.
"Im okay.." he finally whispered, his words flowing more freely now "are you okay..?"
"Yep-" i confirm, breaking away from him making him straighten out, his pupils slowly starting to return to their normal size. He stood up, making me flush with embarrassment as i realize he had gotten down on one knee to comfort me.
God, might as well gut me and hang me out to dry, pal
"Im good- uh, thank you- no i mean, you're welcome- no, wait- fuck- whatever- be careful on your way home, see ya' "
I turn and speed walk away before he could react, the urge to pummel myself for being so awkward making me squeeze my now wet sleeves with an annoyed growl.
What even was that?
What am i doing???