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Ugh. My head.
Nikki rolls over and winces as a sharp pain zips through her forehead. She lazily lifts a hand to press the heel of her palm into the throbbing spot, hissing when it strangely begins to sting. Like rubbing lemon and salt into an open wound.
The hell?
She writhes again. The sudden stench of moth balls and sour cat urine puff up into her nose, sputtering when it hits the back of her throat in a disgusting plume of noxious air. “Fucking ew. What?” She sits up. All the blood runs down from being pooled in the back of her skull, causing Nikki to quickly blackout and reappear instantly. Blearily she attempts to blink away the sleep in her eyes. It only gets worse.
“When did I—”
The last thing Nikki remembers is being at one of Ian’s parties. One moment she’s standing over the coffee table of red solo cups and nearly empty bottles of hard liquor. She was finishing out a dare from the jenga tower, laughing and sharing embarrassing glances with Bear. The next…
… She doesn’t really recall.
That’s weird. She’s usually pretty decent at holding her alcohol around the gang. Maybe she had one too many Jaegermeister shots after all. Stupid, stupid liquor of choice for the evening.
Once her vision returns to her over time, Nikki takes a look around the living room lit dimly in a dirty yellow hue. The old shag carpet on the ruined wooden floor, the tiny glass figures of bunnies and angelic babies on bookshelves — an old lady’s rain bonnet still hung on the coat rack next to the front door, and a blue backpack haphazardly shoved in the corner beside it. Nikki lets out a sigh as she’s pinching the bridge of her nose.
Bear’s place. I should have known…
Why didn’t Sarah just take me home? Was I that fucked up last night?
She swings her legs over the side of the couch and grumbles something about “have to talk to him about this disgusting couch.”
She’d never let one of the boys convince her not to. Maybe she had to get the car back to her dad early, or something… Weird.
“Bear?” Nikki wobbles when she stands. Another sharp pain shoots through from cheekbone to frontal, making her cringe as she toddles her way through the musty house. The tips of her fingers drag along the old wallpaper as she steadies herself trying to find him.
Briefly, there’s a soft groan. A sign of life aside from hers. It’s so faint that she almost misses it.
Maybe he’s in his bedroom?
“Bear– shit. Hey, I-I have to ask you someth–”
But she stops at the open bathroom door. Squinting into the dark isn’t going to help her with anything. So she elects to stumble into the doorway and flick the light on, blinking in dumb shock to what she’s seeing in the mirror.
It’s her. With two huge and jagged open wounds to her face. One on her cheek, and one on her forehead. The front of her white tank top is soaked in blood. Her shorts? Caked and crusted in dirt and crimson. Suddenly it’s all she can smell. Copper, piss, and bile. Nikki can feel her pulse quicken with anger as the confusion begins to twist in the pit of her gut in a horrible, terrible way. She hurries out of the bathroom and turns the corner, opening her mouth to yell at him when she sees his bedroom door open.
But he isn’t there.
… Another groan. It’s louder this time, like someone’s in pain.
“Bear? BEAR– fucking hell. BEAR.”
She’s doubling back down the corridor. Nikki sucks in a breath to try and scold him once more, but she trips over something. Over… What? Sandy?
“God, not now cat–”
…
Nikki screams in horror when it’s not Sandy. Bear is foaming at the mouth as he lay on his side, thrashing violently as he chokes on his own vomit. She’s about to kneel down and try to help him when that same moaning noise is heard from the kitchen.
What the actual FUCK is going on.
y-hh…yyYYYYYYO– U — YOU Dhhgh–ID THI—IS TO MMMMMhh–hhhEEEE
… What?
The person repeats itself as if it can hear her thoughts. Nikki is frozen as she’s half hunched over the writhing body below her, mouth slightly ajar as the guttural voice suddenly clicks in her mind.
IT–hhhghk–WAS YOU! YOU DhhgghkhhID THIS TO— ghk!— MMMMMEEE!
Sarah suddenly comes into view from the kitchen and shambles towards Nikki at an alarming pace, arms outstretched and reaching for her as she gurgles and wheezes strenuously. Her moves are stuttered and clunky– something out of a proper zombie movie as her body jerks around and struggles to keep herself upright, Nikki scrambling backward as fast as her legs can carry her. It’s only evident when her back hits the duct taped door - when did that get there? - that she can't escape. She's slammed so hard that it makes the wall shake, rattling the little glass trinkets across the way. Sarah grips Nikki in a tight hold to keep her in place.
And she can’t look away.
Sarah’s face had been beaten down into a flat slate of meat dripping in viscera. The remaining bits of flesh dangle off from thin strands of tissue that threaten to snap at any moment. A blood clot with chips of broken bone stuck within it sloughs out of one of her remaining nostrils, hitting the floor beneath them with a dull wet plop. One of her eyes is caved into the socket, squished into a vile mass of pulpy slush. The other is bulging out of her skull; wide and manic as there’s nothing left to shield it from the elements, bloodshot from the strain of her mangled body trying to keep itself alive. Her front teeth are chipped or knocked out of the gums completely. They’re stained a yellowish brown from the blood oxidizing over time.
She’s wearing nothing but a leather jacket and those boots that Nikki liked seeing her in. Nothing else. No bra, no underwear… Her torso had been carved and desecrated by a cruel hand, tattoos etched out of the dermis in thick red slices. She’d been absolutely brutalized.
Why is she saying this was me?
Sarah inhales deeply. She can hear her choking on her own blood as it bubbles in her throat and coughs out of her putrid mouth, spraying Nikki’s face with hot plasma as she screams again in warbled agony. She grabs the front of Nikki’s – purple dress? – and begins to violently shake her with all of her might.
IT’S – ghhghk– YOU! IT’S YOOUUUUU!
She’s slamming her into the wall. Over. And over. And over. The back of Nikki’s head begins to throb incessantly with each heavy hit. It sounds just like… Sounds just… Like…
( her face. into the brick. thud. thud. thud. thud. )
“I-I didn’t–”
IT’S YOU! IT’S YOU! IT’SYOUIT’SYOUIT’SYOUIT’SYOUIT’SYOU!
Bright red foam begins to drip over her teeth. It can’t be held back with no lips to catch it.
( she’s picking glass out of her skin. silly, silly me. )
“It’s not me! IT’S NOT ME!”
Nikki’s hands tremble violently as she tries to grab the sleeves on Sarah’s jacket, feeling the corners of her vision begin to dim to black. Bear is still gurgling and coughing up chunks of pills and dead cat as her hearing becomes muffled.
Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud.
“IT’S NOT ME, SARAH! IT’S NOT ME!”
THUDTHUDTHUDTHUDTHUDTHUDTHUD
IT’S NOT ME!
IT’S N
“-OT ME! IT’S–!”
Nikki sits up with a shrill gasp. Hair sticks to her forehead as sweat rolls down the divot of her spinal column, leaving a dark spot on her pillowcase. She’s breathing hard. Harder than she’s ever felt herself struggle in trying to regain some air and feeling around the bed frantically. Being disoriented doesn’t make this any easier whilst trying to decipher fiction from reality.
Her heart is slamming against her ribs.
( Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud. )
Where is she.
It’s too dark in here.
Where is she.
She’s going to vomit. She can feel the bile crawling up her throat.
Where the fuck is sh
“Nikki?”
Nikki’s eyes flit up to the doorway draped in the night’s deepest pitch. It’s Sarah’s voice, but she can’t see her… Why can’t she see her? Is she even there? Was this even real?
She blinks. All she can see when she closes her eyes is Sarah’s skinless jaw dangling open from being broken at the hinges.
“… Nikki?”
Nikki’s stomach drops in anticipation of the terror that’s to be revealed to her, scooting back in the bed as she struggles to keep her entire body from vibrating. A shuddered whimper is choked out of her as the sheets are taken up in a white-knuckled grip.
Sarah has her eyes squeezed shut as she yaaaaawns and shuffles more into view. The sound of her nails idly scratching at the skin on her stomach gently douses itself over Nikki to try and extinguish the shock that’s come over her. It’s very human, very real. This couldn’t be her dreamscape… Could it?
Would her own brain be so incredibly cruel towards her? Could it truly convince her that it can make these falsities a reality? Why was this so detailed?
Why does she feel so helpless?
“Sorry. Didn’t mean to wake you. I had to go to the bathr–” Sarah finally peeks her eyes open to look at her bedmate basked in the glow of moonlight shining through the window. They widen subtly as the realization hits her, moving quickly to flick the lamp on and find Nikki in distress. She looks up at Sarah with tear stains lining her cheeks, croaking out a noise of defeat as she shakes her head.
“H-heyhey– whoa. What’s wrong?”
Nikki can’t even say anything meaningful to her as the tears well up again. Sarah has to be the one to sit on the edge of the bed first and invite her in; to hold an arm out and coax her into comfort.
She practically throws herself into Sarah and holds her painfully tight. Her face is buried into the front of her chest, dampening the skin with salt and spit like a weeping child would. Nikki lets in a deep inhale while twisting the fabric of Sarah’s shirt between her fingers and lets out nothing but a haunting wail. Much to Sarah’s shock, she hesitates momentarily with arms hovering over her companion, opting to hug her tight when she continues to hiccup and babble through her sobs.
“I-I didn’t– I would never… I would never.”
“Nik, what hap–”
“I-I promise I would never hurt you, Sarah. Please know I’d never ever do anything to hurt you.” Her voice strains with emphasis, eyes glassy and pink from having shed so many tears. She searches Sarah for a few moments before that familiar sting punctures the inside of her nose. “Please… Please just say you know that. Please.”
“Nikki…” Sarah nestles her cheek upon the top of Nikki’s head, pressing a kiss to her hair and keeping her voice low. She rubs idle circles into her back to do her best to soothe. “I’m sorry you had such a horrible nightmare… That’s what it was, right?” Sarah peels Nikki off of her front as she continues to sniffle and choke out a few remaining sobs. She presses both hands to Nikki’s face to steady her; to look in her eyes as she thumbs the tears away, giving her a reassuring smile. Nikki reaches to gingerly place a hand on top of Sarah’s with a little nod.
“Listen to me. I know you’d never do anything to hurt anybody. Myself, Ian, Bear… You can’t even bring yourself to stomp on a spider in the shop, Nik.” Sarah squishes her face a bit to try and get Nikki to smile. The attempt sort of works. She manages to let a clipped giggle slip past her lips while keeping her gaze set upon her best friend. “So don’t you ever think for one second I’d ever be afraid of you. You’re not the violent type by a mile.”
And Nikki knows that. She fucking knows that.
Then why did it feel real? Like I’m capable of being a monster?
Sarah pulls her in for one last squeeze and keeps Nikki lingering against her chest for a few moments. She can feel her breathing slow into its resting state minute by minute, taking the chance to mutter in Nikki’s ear when all is quiet. “Let’s go back to bed. We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow.”
She doesn’t bother clicking the lamp shut for now. She figures Nikki might want to keep it on until she finally lulls back to sleep.
So they do just that. Nikki curls up in Sarah’s arms as they both mumble tiredly to one another about anything and everything to keep her mind off of such a horrible, terrible dream.
"... Should I wear my necklace tomorrow?"
"What. That new one you got at the shop?"
"Mm... Mmhm."
Nikki shifts around a bit as her eyelids slowly droop shut. The last thing she hears is Sarah muttering to her as they both prepare to drift back into slumber.
"I think you should."