After the war longfics
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The Kingdom by Anonymous for captaindingdong (professorcockblock)
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
01 May 2026
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Summary
Draco's discovered The Kingdom, and it's the perfect sex club. It's so comfortable that it's the kind of place that makes Draco remember that he likes to switch, sometimes. The kind of place where he considers shaking things up again. He should have known that the Kingdom was too good to be true.
“So,” a voice said behind him. It was easygoing, warm. But undeniably the voice of someone in charge. “I hear you’ve been wanting to meet the King.”
Draco smiled but didn’t turn. He took another sip of his wine. “I just think it’s interesting that the ‘King’ spends so little time with his subjects.”
A warm laugh. “Oh, I spend plenty of time with my subjects. But I’ll admit, I’m a little tentative around the ones who’ve attempted regicide in the past, Malfoy.”
Draco froze. Very slowly, he set down his glass. He swallowed. Then, he couldn’t help it. He laughed.
“Weasley is our king, eh?”
This wasn’t going to end well at all, was it.
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“So. How can I help you? Oh, don’t look so stricken; I’m not going to to tell anybody about your sordid little sex games, not that I think anybody cares. Anyway, who'd believe me? For that matter, do you really think my customers would continue to patronise my establishment if I was gabbing about them? Use your brain, Potter; I do know you have one.”
“That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me, I think,” Harry said.
Malfoy crossed his arms. “It’s been six years; I’m out of practice. Now tell me what you need.”
Harry stood there for a moment. He hadn’t really thought this through before he knew that it would be Draco Malfoy he was talking to. He felt utterly unprepared for the conversation.
Fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately, his ex-girlfriend was there.
“Harry wants a prostate orgasm and his boyfriends are all terrible,” Ginny said.
Draco’s eyebrows shot up. Harry’s face got hot. Ginny made a face at him and said, “Look, it was going to take you forever to say that.” Then she turned and walked away, leaving Harry alone, with Draco Malfoy, who knew that he wanted to have a prostate orgasm.
Bookmarked by Micah1966
17 May 2026
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Bookmarker's Notes
The one with “This will ruin my hair,” Draco said.
“Well, not as much as the pavement,” Harry replied.Very hot and also very funny.
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Out of all the people in the world twenty-six-year-old Harry Potter could have trusted with coaching him through his bi awakening, he chose Draco Malfoy. And because Draco is a sucker, he agreed. Now Harry's a Malfoy and the Manor's favourite—and if it would stop saying that was Draco's fault, that would be great—and Draco has to come to terms with just how much he would do for a Chosen One who insists on handing him larger and more fragile mysteries to protect.
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From the lake in the Room of Hidden Things, Draco knows three things:
- Mirror universes exist, and he’s going to find the best one—the one where he did the right thing.
- Harry Potter and him are awfully cosy in some of these other universes, whereas Potter in real life is starting to act very odd around him indeed.
- Draco’s reflection—the mirror version of him, the worst version of him—seems to be growing crueler. And stronger.
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After yet another trashy "unauthorised biography" is released, Harry decides to reclaim his story by writing his own version: the actual, unfiltered truth, to stop all the speculation and endless questions and finally set the record straight. Or at least officially Not Straight.
Maybe there are a few truths he would have filtered a little more, if he’d known Draco Malfoy would be assigned to edit the book.
Maybe there are a few truths he hasn’t quite worked out yet, that Draco Malfoy's patented blend of snarky criticism and thinly-veiled challenges might just be exactly what he needs to help him with.