FunnyStuckys
(Closed, Moderated)
Recent works
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Three Men in a VW by Brokenpitchpipe
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
07 May 2016
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Summary
Steve steps back into the car and closes the door, lips still tingling.
“You don’t like blondes,” Bucky says.
Sam chokes.
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What Would You Do by Brokenpitchpipe
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
29 Apr 2016
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Summary
“Look, Klondike.” Tony draws a complicated diagram in the air. “Sometimes the only way you can get Capsicle to do anything you want him to do-” He draws a circle and drags his finger to the right. “Is to get him angry enough to make him want to do it himself.” He mimics a small explosion, then looks expectantly at Barnes.
Barnes blinks.
“Ergo,” Tony says, “go out with me.”
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No One Wants Your Opinion by thepinupchemist for Remembered
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Captain America (Movies)
05 Apr 2016
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Summary
Wherein Bucky loves to cuddle Steve Rogers, Steve comes out on national television for the sole purpose of spiting conservative politicians, Tony sees things he wishes he hadn't, and Pepper doesn't know why she even bothers.
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Recreational Fighting by neversaydie
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
05 Apr 2016
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"So you just… meet up and fight?"
Sometimes Steve thinks Bucky is the weirdest person he's ever met. And he's got exactly zero room to talk, so he must be a pretty extreme case.
"We don't exactly meet up." Bucky shrugs, sipping his frappucino as delicately as it's possible to suck what's essentially ice cream through a straw. "I send him some shit to rile him up, then I turn my GPS on and he usually shows."
"To fight."
"Pretty much."
"Is that why you came back from Home Depot an hour late with your shirt missing last week?"
"Well, it got blood on it. No amount of club soda was getting that shit out."
[Bucky likes to fight HAM and T'Challa is here for that]
Series
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Fluff by MoreThanSlightly (cadignan)
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
18 Aug 2014
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Summary
“Dr. Foster, this is a tower full of highly trained soldiers, spies, and geniuses. If we can’t track down and subdue a frith—um, small Asgardian mammal, then nobody can,” Steve says. He tries to look reassuring. It must not be working. She’s still looking around like it might pop out at any moment.
“Frithrkottr,” she says. She takes a deep breath and tucks some errant strands of hair behind her ear. “It’s furry. Kitten-sized.”
“A real cause for panic,” he says, trying to make her smile.
She doesn’t look calmed.
Recent bookmarks
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Drive It Like You Stole It: A Bodyswap by AggressiveWhenStartled
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Captain America (Movies), Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
12 Jul 2019
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Summary
Steve had gone fully red-faced with pedantic altar-boy fury. “Did your computer forget how to Google translate?” he bellowed, sticking his head up and over. Bucky yanked him down again. “What are you even trying to say?”
Bucky tried to shake the sparkles off the grenade he had been planning on lobbing over the divider. “It sounded like Latin to me,” he said reasonably, pursing his lips and frowning at the explosive. It dripped a sparkle, and a puff of purple smoke curled up where it hit the concrete.
“That’s because you spent Sunday school flirting with Sarah Cunningham,” Steve accused, bobbing back up to throw his shield and ducking back down to dodge a shining ball of blue light. “You wouldn’t know Latin if it came up and kissed you on your ugly mug.”
“I’d sure know it if Sarah Cunningham did, though.” Bucky grinned, struck by the memory. “That gal really knew what she was doing.”
Series
- Part 1 of The Old Codgers Greatest Hits Album
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Life of the Party by AggressiveWhenStartled
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Captain America (Movies)
25 Feb 2018
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“You know, kids,” Steve heard from the backyard, “one of the most common threats a superhero has to face is inside an active volcano! We’re going to have to work on your evasion skills, so for the next five minutes, the floor is lava!” This was met by a sudden spike in both volume and pitch from the small children as they scrambled onto every raised surface they could find and immediately launched themselves right back off.
“I’ve never seen actual lava in my entire life,” Steve said, vaguely offended.
“You got a superhero impersonator for The Falcon’s niece’s birthday party,” Sam said, incredulous. “The Falcon, who is an actual superhero.”
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Bucky starts to believe in a vengeful god on May the twelfth, year of our Lord two thousand and fucking eighteen, because that’s the day he makes fun of Clint Barton for carrying around a dainty little packetful of tissues in his pocket and honking into them like a congested donkey every fifteen minutes. “Fucking polleb,” Clint swears, wiping at his watering eyes. “Fucking claritin. Fucking zyrtec. Fucking bastards, all of dem.”
“What’s happened to your pokeymen now?” Bucky asks distractedly, not looking away from where Natasha is very slowly setting the last Joker on her vast, exquisitely balanced house of cards.
“Dat’s not - dey’re not pokémon,” Clint says, aggrieved. “Dey’re drugs. And dey don’t work for me.”
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All's fair in [REDACTED] and [REDACTED] by quietnight
Fandom Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
08 Nov 2016
- Words:
- 17
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 30
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Clint Barton and the Howling Commandogs by galwednesday
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
01 Mar 2017
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Summary
All five of the dogs were in the backyard, bounding enthusiastically through an obstacle course assembled from the kind of junk that accumulated in rich people’s attics. There were platforms made of legless chairs, tents of old tablecloths to run through, and a pile of sofa cushions the dogs took great delight in plowing into. The dogs were being directed by a one-armed man with long brown hair and a serious case of resting murderface.
"You guys," Clint hissed. "That's the Winter Soldier."
"Oh, word?" America said. She looked idly at her nails.
"You knew?"
Kate rolled her eyes. "Of course we knew. How many one-armed amnesiacs do you think are running around these days? It's fine, I shot at him a little when he first turned up to make sure he wouldn't go berserk."
"He was real polite about it," America said. "Didn't return fire or anything."
(In which Clint liberates a pack of serum-enhanced dogs and ends up collecting one more stray than he bargained for.)