Billdip Oneshots because not even Axolotl can stop me from shipping these two.
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Was it so much for Dipper to ask to get to explore Gravity Falls without the forest throwing a complete wrench at him and ruining his plans? It was always either a) a massive threat that would harm him and trap him in the woods or b) a minor inconvenience that took way more time to solve than it should have.
But even Mabel didn't have being forced to marry a Gnome king (?) in front of his boyfriend who would just laugh at him on her "Reasons why Dipper STILL isn't back yet" bingo card.
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Finding my will to live in the cookies and crackers aisle. by SugarwithSarcasm
Fandoms: Gravity Falls
08 Mar 2023
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Basically your typical, "Dipper overworks himself and is all stressed, and Bil distracts him and gives him a new thing to stress abt oneshot."
I'm really sleepy rn, will update summary after I sleep.
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Violent nighttime encounters with strange, powerful mystical creatures were practically routine to Dipper. It always went the same way anyways, didn't it? Dipper went out and did something stupid, Bill drags him back and is an unbearable arrogant asshole about it. They give each other the cold shoulder for the night until they wake up in each other's arms and begrudgingly ignore Dipper's lack of communication. Yeah, maybe they could handle it in a healthier way but Bill seemed to be doing fine.
But then one night after Bill drags Dipper's bloodied body back to the shack Dipper looks over his shoulder as he's sulking and realizes maybe Bill wasn't handling this as well as he initially thought he was.
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Was Dipper being a bit melodramatic? Maybe. But his ability to perform well in a classroom setting was his thing damn it! It felt wrong to look down at his graded paper and see a big angry F, and then just waltz away to go spend the night with his boyfriend like he deserved any of it. At least the bread sticks were pretty damn tasty.
Or, Bill comforts his boyfriend after he gets his first F on an exam in college.
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It was in the coldness and darkness of space where Dipper felt most at peace. He didn't have to focus on the constant paranoia that wrecked him in the bright fluorescent light of the ship, the feeling that something was wrong. Out in space it was just him and the quiet tranquility that followed the darkness and the coolness which eased his thoughts. Until one day he meets a bright, warm, eccentric asshole who forces him to face the root of his reservations of the light and bright.
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Dipper was honestly surprised when the first setting he was greeted to after dying wasn't the fiery pits of hell and the screams of the damned, but instead a very crowded, clinical looking waiting room. He definitely didn't expect for his eternal fate to be determined by a rigged game of poker either. Still… maybe, just maybe, he had a shot at getting his life back.
"Oh, come ON! Poker? Really?" Bill threw his hands up dramatically. "It's like he wants to kick it in this gaudy hallway for the next billion or so years!" He shot a glare at his surroundings. "Hey, how'd you even afford all these candles anyways? Aren't you guys in a financial deficit? Did ya have to buy them in bulk?"
Or, Dipper Pines slowly realizing he is oh so screwed and then watching in horror as that same realization dawns on Bill in a way that isn't nearly as funny. Axolotl save them all.
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Dipper had been TRYING to fulfill his Grunkle Ford’s ritual and make sure a certain asshole could “do no harm” to the rest of the town. But somehow he managed to screw even that up and now he’s stuck soul bonded to Bill-fucking-Cipher, who’s a little too excited about all this. Great just his fucking luck. At least it’s a demon he knows, at least.
…is what he tries to tell himself to calm down, until he realizes that on the other side of his newly woven string of fate, actually isn’t Bill. Great. Just when he thought things couldn’t get any worse.
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Dipper Pines had, over the years, survived Weirdmageddon, two dragon fights broken bones, four instances of demonic possession, a really bad date with Gideon Gleeful, endless amounts of random Cryptid fights and too many demon battles from random entities that held a vendetta against Bill to count.
Being taken out by an Etsy witch was not how he saw his story ending.
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