Crouching Jonkler Hidden Zonkler
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“It don’t matter,” said Jabber, already sounding way too cheerful for Zanka’s liking, eyes sparkling like a town from on high. “You still dumb as hell.”
A brief recess in one of their fights.
Series
- Part 1 of Crouching Jonkler Hidden Zonkler
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There ain’t much to him, is what Jabber thinks when he first meets his new roommate in the August of his sophomore year. It’s some Japanese dude. The name went in one ear and clean out the other. He’s kinda pretty, actually he’s a lot pretty, but his serious bearing and general vibe are indicative of one of those guys who never did anything fun in high school and doesn’t plan to start now. A total square, in other words. Positively rec-tang-ular.
Pretty is nice though. Jabber likes his eyebrows and his two-tone hair, the big blue tassel earrings and big blue eyes, and he especially likes the stiff expression he gets when he goes, “Ay, mind if I smoke?”
Turns out, Jabber's new roommate situation holds a lot more potential than was initially apparent.
Series
- Part 2 of Crouching Jonkler Hidden Zonkler
- Part 1 of Toxicology
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“You can have one hot chip,” says Zanka. “One.”
Series
- Part 3 of Crouching Jonkler Hidden Zonkler
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Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect $200 by Anonymous
Fandoms: Gachiakuta (Manga), Gachiakuta (Anime)
01 Feb 2026
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“FUCK,” says Jabber, now seated halfway, feeling like he’s just shoved a telephone pole inside of himself. He moans, rocking back and forth in tiny motions, pierced so full he can’t think. “Shit, Zanka, you- you’re splitting me in half.”
“I DON’T FUCKING HAVE TO BE,” says Zanka.
On a chance meeting one day, Jabber Wonger and Zanka Nijiku make some ill-advised choices that ultimately produce a very satisfying encounter for them both.
Series
- Part 4 of Crouching Jonkler Hidden Zonkler
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“Then it’s personal,” says Zanka, in a low, musing voice. He swallows. Shrinks back a little. It looks unconscious, genuinely contrite. “Did I misunderstand somethin’? I thought this was all… mutual.”
“Huh?” says Jabber, scrolling through their interactions in his head. A lightbulb comes on. “Oh, wait, you think-” He starts laughing. “You think you hit me a lil’ too hard, so now I’m out for payback?”
Zanka blinks. He’s putting on a very brave face, but underneath it… “Is there somethin’ else I coulda done to piss you off like this?”
Jabber Wonger, twenty-late-year-old masochist galore, has himself an arrangement that satisfies his interests in all ways but one. Well, whatever else you can say about him, you can't say he isn't determined--especially when it comes to his personal life. But little does he know, he's in for a weird night.
Series
- Part 5 of Crouching Jonkler Hidden Zonkler
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The things he puts up with.
Series
- Part 6 of Crouching Jonkler Hidden Zonkler
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I didn’t mean it. I was already frustrated, and then I got sucked into his… vortex of crazy. He’s an asshole and he’s nuts. And the things he said—anyone would—he’s beautiful. Anyone could see that. The way he looks, he’s hotter than hell. Okay, I guess that means I’m, like, gay or whatever.
Zanka Nijiku continues to have problems with his roommate. The feeling is mutual. In a way.
Series
- Part 7 of Crouching Jonkler Hidden Zonkler
- Part 2 of Toxicology
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Summary
He’s lying on his back on the ground, one knee propped up. Naked. There is a gaping wound between his thighs. A deep messy gash carved through everything, weeping watery blood. No, not blood. Thick watery fluid, slick, tinged pink, pouring out of him like a river. So much of it, a trail in the sandy dust, ridges and whorls as it flows downhill and pushes the sediment aside.
I can’t move. The muscles in his abdomen don’t work. His legs, his legs won’t obey him. He curls and uncurls his hands. Mankira is sleeping; she won’t wake up.
Jabber has a strange dream.
Series
- Part 8 of Crouching Jonkler Hidden Zonkler
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P. nigriventer by Anonymous for Ikebanaka
Fandoms: Gachiakuta (Manga), Gachiakuta (Anime)
22 May 2026
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“Wait for it, wait for it,” says Jabber, nuzzling Zanka’s cheek with his cheek. His skin is soft; the corners of their lips touch. “Oh man, I been hyped for this all week. I jacked off so many times… Lemme know the second it kicks in, okay??”
“Oh, hell,” groans Zanka. He already knows he does not want to have to explain this shit to Eishia. “So what exactly am I-”
And then he feels it.
Spasms run up and down the length of Zanka’s nervous system, and he can’t quite breathe as normal, but right this second he is a little more preoccupied with his sudden RAGING ERECTION.
Jabber decides to test out a new venom. Zanka comes along for the ride.
Series
- Part 9 of Crouching Jonkler Hidden Zonkler
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It’s the eyes that got him, he’ll think, later, on Friday afternoon, when he’s getting dressed to go to the cafe two blocks from his dorm, tucking a scarf around his collarbones, working clumpy drugstore mascara through his lashes. The rest of the picture was great, too, hot guy, no shirt, promising bulge in those exercise shorts. But it’s the eyes he’s most excited to see. They were looking right into the camera, right at him, with downturned corners that should have made them look gentle. Blue like concentrated ink in a bottle. The rest of the face was smiling, but the eyes were flat. Watching. Waiting, maybe. He wonders if they’ll look like that in person, too.
Bored, broke college student Jabber Wonger meets a guy who really turns his life around.
Series
- Part 10 of Crouching Jonkler Hidden Zonkler
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CLEANER HUNK DRILLED BY SKINNY RAIDER COCK by Anonymous
Fandoms: Gachiakuta (Manga), Gachiakuta (Anime)
01 Jul 2026
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“Mmmmm…” Jabber takes a breath. “I’m gonna fuck you. Uh. Not like normal, though. I mean I’m gonna fuck you. In the ass.”
A beat.
“Why’re’ya sayin’ that like yer tryin’a convince yerself?”
Series
- Part 11 of Crouching Jonkler Hidden Zonkler
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Mr. Bad Attitude, he’d know anywhere. That guy has a distinctive look. There he is, kneeling at the edge, the big mean head of that staff poking out past a bent knee in her sweet little wooden stick form. Disappointed me twice, but he still wants a rematch? Jabber tisks to himself. Naw. I’ll just put him down this time.
Jabber talks to Zanka about his feelings.
Series
- Part 12 of Crouching Jonkler Hidden Zonkler
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Jabber loves it when Zanka uses him. At the end of a fight, when his body is broken on the ground, each breath a rattling labor, right then, when he’s beaten and crushed… That’s when Zanka should push his thighs apart and push into him with no warning. Treat his insides as a sleeve to get off with. Let Jabber be his toy, and then his rag, spit on him, wipe his hands on his clothes, his face, and then leave him there in the dust, like a cheap trifle only good for one amusement.
After a successful Cleaning job, a thunderstorm forces Zanka and Jabber to stay together in a small village house for the night.
Series
- Part 13 of Crouching Jonkler Hidden Zonkler
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Summary
“Ayyyy. You up?”
“You know damn well I’m up,” says Zanka, grunting as he works his quads. “Why’re you up?”
“‘Cause I felt like it. Hey, wasn’t there somethin’ I was supposed to do today?"A day in the life of Zanka Nijiku as he prepares for an impending flight to his hometown.
Not sponsored.
Series
- Part 14 of Crouching Jonkler Hidden Zonkler