AccidentalAssassinAcquisition
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Summary
Alfred will always ensure Wayne Manor is well-protected. Even if it means dipping into skills he amassed for an entirely different profession.
(or, the one where Bruce Wayne is a former doctor turned blissful soccer dad of seven, Alfred is a butler-grandfather who got in way too deep, and Wayne Manor is the safest place in Gotham for a reason)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 63,377
- Chapters:
- 11/?
- Comments:
- 778
- Kudos:
- 2,385
- Bookmarks:
- 590
- Hits:
- 35,358
Bookmarked by AccidentalAssassinAcquisition
03 May 2026
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[From Tumblr]: Good cop bad cop but Jim Gordon (the good cop) is passed out from blood loss and exhaustion and Batman (the obvious bad cop) bundles everyone involved (including his kids) into a corner booth at a 24 hour diner and proceeds to interrogate the suspect over shitty diner coffee and the sounds of his kids force feeding Commissioner Gordon apple pie and french fries.
It's the most intimidating interrogation that has ever taken place in Gotham.
(or, the one where May’s Diner has seen everything Gotham has to offer at night. almost everything, at least)
Series
- Part 19 of DC outsider POV
Bookmarked by AccidentalAssassinAcquisition
02 May 2026
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"Fill in the Pit with lead, all the way up to the entrance. I don’t care how expensive it is.”
“It’s tiny, I mean, you could barely fit a grown man in it. Shouldn’t take more than a few trips.” Tim trails off, head tilting to the side again. “Hey B.”
“Yeah?” Bruce asks.
“How tall are you these days?”
or, five things Bruce loses when his family keeps dunking him in a Lazarus Pit, and one thing he gains.
Bookmarked by AccidentalAssassinAcquisition
02 May 2026
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“You’re the clumsiest excuse for a servant I’ve ever met!” Uther bellowed across the room, and everyone looked nervously at Merlin.
“Yes, Arthur says I have the elegance of a newborn lamb.”
Or…
Merlin becomes Uther’s manservant for a week.Series
- Part 1 of The King’s servant
Bookmarked by AccidentalAssassinAcquisition
22 Apr 2026
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I am not your brother, I am not your lover. by Exorcised_Memories
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types
11 Apr 2026
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After learning about the death of his father, Harvey Dent has some affairs to sort out. Those being both the legal ones, and the many, *many* conversations he's been neglecting to have with his...best friend? Nemesis? Whatever--Bruce Wayne. With Bruce Wayne.
OR
Harvey Dent learns his dad is dead. Bruce Wayne is also here. They fight. a LOT.
Bookmarked by AccidentalAssassinAcquisition
11 Apr 2026