Headboy5
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Summary
Harry doesn't Apparate to the roof of his school when running away from Dudley and his gang, but to an empty Grimmauld Place. The house raises him, with some help from Black portraits, and then Harry happens to everyone else.
- Words:
- 116,275
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 1,628
Bookmarked by Headboy5
02 Sep 2026
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Summary
Dr. Kel has been given a job: use a satellite dish array to locate, record, and study signals of various types from outer space. Being alone for over a month in the Switzerland mountains, with little to no communication to the outside world, what's the worst that could happen?
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Esraniki the Ariral is bored and needs to go on a vacation with her best friend Argemia. What's the worst that could happen?(New chapters are uploaded on Sundays. Upload frequencies may be unpredictable due to now being in school.)
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Summary
Dr. Kel thought he would like working alone, not having to answer to anyone or have anyone looking over his shoulder. After a week of total isolation in the Dunkeltaler Array, crushing loneliness and paranoia starts to take hold.
Which is only amplified further when he learns that he's not alone.
He's not sure if it's due to his rapidly declining mental state or his desperate need for social interaction, but when faced with something inhuman and dangerous, rather than run away, he tries to reach out to it.
Series
- Part 1 of Isolation Event
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 180,553
- Chapters:
- 23/23
- Comments:
- 554
- Kudos:
- 908
- Bookmarks:
- 140
- Hits:
- 34,922
Bookmarked by Headboy5
18 Apr 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
He’s always going to be watching him, searching for the one that got away amongst the stars…
The planet they left behind isn’t gone forever, the Arirals would be back to try and make contact, but as long as these things existed on the same world as humanity, who knew if peace would ever be possible. As long as demons existed, evil would fester back home.
As long as Stolas lived, there would be no place to hide, even in the endless reaches of space…
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Summary
“You’ve heard the expression ‘not if we were the last two people on Earth’ or some variation thereof. Well, if you’ve ever used it, let me give you a piece of advice. You would. Whatever you swore not to do in those circumstances. You would. Trust me. I’ve been there.”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,468
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 60
- Kudos:
- 2,192
- Bookmarks:
- 474
- Hits:
- 12,613
Bookmarked by Headboy5
17 Jan 2026
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Harry Potter and the Stupid Fucking Triwizard Tournament by notatakenusername
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
02 Jul 2025
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Summary
“‘...issues an apology for what he has said and done.’” Snape finished, flicking the Daily Prophet shut and looking at Harry expectantly. Did he expect him to get upset?
“Borrrrringgg!” Harry blurted out, as Snape’s gaze fixated into a scowl.
“Boring, Potter? Boring? The most publicized newspaper berating you and talking about your pathetic love life is boring?” Snape sneered.
“Yeah, it kinda is,” Harry said as he fake yawned. “My love life isn't pathetic. I don’t even have a love life. Nor do you, and you probably won’t have one anytime soon if your ego continues to stay the same size as your nose.”
The Slytherins gaped at Harry, a few openly chuckling as Snape’s expression shifted into the constipation™ look. Ron abruptly laughed so hard he proceeded to accidentally knock over the bottle of stinksap onto Snape’s robes.
Harry finally burst out laughing. He really couldn’t help it this time.
Or,
The moment Harry James Potter hears his name come out of the stupid, obese, wine-glass doppelganger, (also known as the Goblet of Fire), he's done holding himself back. Cue the chaos that happens when he gives into his impulsive thoughts.
Series
- Part 1 of crack fics
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 40,143
- Chapters:
- 17/17
- Collections:
- 5
- Comments:
- 814
- Kudos:
- 5,190
- Bookmarks:
- 1,493
- Hits:
- 116,666
Bookmarked by Headboy5
17 Jan 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
Harry Potter and the Stupid Fucking Triwizard Tournament
notatakenusername
Summary:
“‘...issues an apology for what he has said and done.’” Snape finished, flicking the Daily Prophet shut and looking at Harry expectantly. Did he expect him to get upset?“Borrrrringgg!” Harry blurted out, as Snape’s gaze fixated into a scowl.
“Boring, Potter? Boring? The most publicized newspaper berating you and talking about your pathetic love life is boring?” Snape sneered.
“Yeah, it kinda is,” Harry said as he fake yawned. “My love life isn't pathetic. I don’t even have a love life. Nor do you, and you probably won’t have one anytime soon if your ego continues to stay the same size as your nose.”
The Slytherins gaped at Harry, a few openly chuckling as Snape’s expression shifted into the constipation™ look. Ron abruptly laughed so hard he proceeded to accidentally knock over the bottle of stinksap onto Snape’s robes.
Harry finally burst out laughing. He really couldn’t help it this time.
Or,
The moment Harry James Potter hears his name come out of the stupid, obese, wine-glass doppelganger, (also known as the Goblet of Fire), he's done holding himself back. Cue the chaos that happens when he gives into his impulsive thoughts.