IAmAHat



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  1. Rec 95

    Tags
    Summary

    “Oh, that’s right,” said Cartman. “You think having a bunch of dumb girls running wild with your image was bad? Try corporate America. Hell, Hallmark might even sue you for imitating their product now. But it was soooo hard to get in on that, wasn’t it? Bet you wished you cared now, huh?”

    “He’s got a point,” said Kyle. “You two really fucked up.”

    “Argh?!” said Tweek. “What? What are they talking about, Craig?”

    “Nothing at all, dear,” said Craig, smirking while squeezing Tweek’s hand, considerably warmer than it had been the past couple days. “They’re just mad that they can’t make ten million dollars off of our relationship. Not that they would have anyway, because they’re stupid and never follow through with anything ever.”

    Welcome to Tweek and Craig's first Valentine's Day as a couple.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,800
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    24
    Kudos:
    601
    Bookmarks:
    95
    Hits:
    5,111

    18 Apr 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    >> He was just a kid.

    This was an adult sort of problem.

    Usually it was the kids that solved the adult sorts of problems.

     

    A/N said it was a love letter to South Park and it really read like that. Very fun. Always love it when tweek's stuff gets addressed directly. Like drinking caffeine and getting coked up from a young age does more than give you a stutter and fun vocal quirks!! Ugh whatever I'm just freaking angry i want tweeker tweek and i got it and i was happy and now im gonna go back to searching through fifty billion TERRIBLE NO GOOD VERY BAD characterizations of tweek. Rabble rabble rabble

  2. Rec 79

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    Summary

    There’s no stronger force than Randy Marsh’s fatherly self-wanking, not even his family’s disapproval or his son’s furious humiliation.

    OR: a study in what Not to do when you come home to hear your child having very energetic intercourse with an unknown individual.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,419
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    19
    Kudos:
    601
    Bookmarks:
    79
    Hits:
    6,652

    18 Apr 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Wait this is so crazy bc yeah this is just an episode for the first half

    >>If anyone tried to assign bullshit, harmful stereotypes on either him or Stan, he’ll shove those stereotypes so far up their asses they’ll puke political correctness for months, fuck.

    Like how wojaks r drawn w tangible hate . You know. Thats what that line felt like. A wojak

  3. Rec 75

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    Summary

    Senior year was treating Tweek Tweak very well. He was graduating and going forward into college, he was in a very happy relationship, and he had supportive friends who would do just about anything for him.

    There was just one problem. Eric Cartman.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,844
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    20
    Kudos:
    612
    Bookmarks:
    75
    Hits:
    5,288

    14 Apr 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    RRRRRRAARARAGHGGH LET TWEEK FIGHT LET HIM BITE AND CLAW AND TEAR THAT'S MY POOPIEKINS

  4. Rec 60

    Tags
    Summary

    Tweek comes home from therapy with a list of ways to calm down. One of them intrigues Craig. Things get out of hand.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,823
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    618
    Bookmarks:
    60
    Hits:
    12,138

    14 Apr 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    GENUINELY SO CUTE WHAT?!

  5. Rec 86

    Tags
    Summary

    By now, Craig is well accustomed to Tweek’s high-strung tendencies.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,499
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    718
    Bookmarks:
    86
    Hits:
    7,996

    11 Apr 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    I love you.