NotSoSecretlyAUnicorn
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Recent works
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At the Sign of the Green Dragon by NotSoSecretlyAUnicorn
Fandoms: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
28 May 2019
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Summary
“Look, you great pack of lunatics, there is no one living in this Hobbit hole but me, and it’s been that way since my parents passed. Now for goodness sake, Gandalf,” she said, turning to the Wizard, “would you please explain what is going on?”
“My dear Hobbit,” said Gandalf, “we were endeavouring to…”
And it was then that Bilba learnt about a key and a map, a stolen treasure in a lonely mountain and…
“Do you mean to tell me,” said Bilba, spotting the familiar symbol on the map, “that this is about the dragon?”
“Well,” said Balin, “yes.”
Bilba rolled her eyes. “You might have said so earlier!”
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The Telephone Game by Not_So_Secretly_a_Spaceship, NotSoSecretlyAUnicorn
Fandoms: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
19 Feb 2017
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Summary
There is a curl of breath down the line and then a voice whispers, silkily, anonymous...
"I know what you wear under your uniform."
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This Was A Terrible Plan by Not_So_Secretly_a_Spaceship, NotSoSecretlyAUnicorn
Fandoms: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
06 Oct 2016
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Summary
Joining Starfleet, in hindsight, may not have been one of Kirian's better ideas. She's surrounded by hormonal children, and her academic advisor is borderline insane. And then she gets assigned to the Enterprise: the highest concentration of crazy people Starfleet has to offer, all on one big boat.
Series
- Part 1 of Like Lightning
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WHO THE HELL by Not_So_Secretly_a_Spaceship, NotSoSecretlyAUnicorn
Fandoms: Doctor Who (2005), The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
20 Oct 2015
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Summary
“Don’t be so glum, Magpie!” the Doctor called to her. “You were a teenager when the movies came out, right? Had one of those mad pubescent crushes on the bloke in the blond wig?"
“Yes and shut up,” said Maggie, fighting a smile and failing.
“Think about it this way then: if the worst happens, you might get to meet Legolas before we’re squished out of existence!”
Oh, excellent.
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The Place Next to Mine by NotSoSecretlyAUnicorn
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Captain America (Movies), Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
10 May 2015
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Summary
“I can explain everything.”
Which is about the point when the elevator explodes two floors down.
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Also known as the fic where Bucky goes on the run, ends up in Auckland and accidentally makes friends with his neighbour. Which goes about as well as you'd expect.
Recent series
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- Words:
- 2,451
- Works:
- 1
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Like Lightning by Not_So_Secretly_a_Spaceship, NotSoSecretlyAUnicorn
Fandom Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
06 Oct 2016
- Words:
- 2,982
- Works:
- 1
- Bookmarks:
- 4
Recent bookmarks
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- Words:
- 59,668
- Works:
- 5
- Bookmarks:
- 238
Bookmarked by NotSoSecretlyAUnicorn
18 Apr 2026
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Summary
Chrissy is beginning to think Ettie has sampled too much of her own product. “I don't know what you're talking about,” she says.
Ettie huffs in exasperation. Enunciating carefully, she says, “Have you tried masturbating?”
Chrissy stares at her. “No.”
“Might be a good place to start, before you spend a bunch of money on self-medication,” says Ettie. “Relaxing and free.” Her face is slightly pink, but maybe that's Chrissy's imagination, or the lighting in the trailer, or something.
“No,” says Chrissy again, feeling unmoored. “I don't do that. I mean. I can't do that.” Stupidly, she gestures to her cheer uniform, her short skirt. “I'm a girl.”
Chrissy comes to Ettie for something to help her sleep. Ettie's suggestion makes her realize she's been missing out on a lot of things.
Bookmarked by NotSoSecretlyAUnicorn
11 Apr 2026
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We Better Make a Start by thefourthvine for missmollyetc
Fandoms: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
14 Jun 2023
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Summary
As soon as Eddie gets to the counter, Steve turns to him and says, “Back me up here. Kissing is no big deal, right?”
Steve Harrington is talking about kissing. Eddie’s brain shorts out. “Uh,” he says.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 11,087
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 210
- Kudos:
- 2,511
- Bookmarks:
- 586
- Hits:
- 19,119
Bookmarked by NotSoSecretlyAUnicorn
02 Apr 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
Oh Steve, you precious blessed dummy
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Summary
Don't ask don't tell is repealed and all of Atlantis tries to find their footing, except for John and Rodney, who just try to find each other.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 20,442
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 77
- Kudos:
- 1,730
- Bookmarks:
- 554
- Hits:
- 23,519
Bookmarked by NotSoSecretlyAUnicorn
16 Feb 2026
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patron saint of shiners and showgirls by sevenfoxes for KatStratford
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies)
20 May 2015
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Summary
The newsreels hit the US a few weeks later.
CAPTAIN AMERICA AND HIS HOWLING COMMANDOS CAPTURE ANOTHER NAZI STRONGHOLD NEAR TURIN! AMERICAN BEAUTY MEETS NAZI-KILLING BRAWN AS THE COMMANDOS TAKE DOWN NEARLY A HUNDRED MEN.
Every few weeks, they send a news crew out to film them when they come back to camp, muddied and bruised, but always victorious. Phillips seems to loathe it even more than the Howling Commandos do, surly as he stomps around their outpost, muttering under his breath that, the front ain’t Gone with the fucking Wind.
“That’s real nice,” the slimy director tells them later that afternoon, looking over the list of shots they’ve taken today. “But I’d like to see the old uniform. The boys need a little something to look at. You know, get excited over?”
Margot’s perfectly shaped eyebrows don’t raise a single inch as she says, “Well, I guess we can see if Kitty kept Steve’s old skintight red, white and blue number,” and Bucky laughs and laughs and laughs until he cries.
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The USO girls are Steve's Howling Commandos. Bucky's died and gone to Heaven.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,525
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 225
- Kudos:
- 3,274
- Bookmarks:
- 1,293
- Hits:
- 30,201
Bookmarked by NotSoSecretlyAUnicorn
20 Oct 2015