ROOOOCKSAAAALT69



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    JJ didn't think the others saw it. Hayden, maybe, but Jackie was the only WAGs's name Shane had committed to memory so Hayden never brought it up. JJ didn't have a wife or girlfriend. He had his hookups and the names of the best restaurants in each city they player in. If JJ had a dog, Shane would probably mix its name up with Drapeau's. The others didn't get that however pathetic or sad they might think Shane, Shane thought the same of them tenfold when they missed shots at practice or ate fast food on weekdays. Shane wasn't being prissy or funny when he said, don't embarass me—JJ still doesn't know exactly what it was, but he doesn't care to find out.

    Shane had poured everything into his team (possessively: it was his team) and he asked them to give it back that day, so they delivered. When Shane smiled at them afterwards, it felt like love.

    Character study on neurotic batshit hardass Captain Shane Hollander. The awe-inspiring and aloof Canadian Hockey Jesus Shane Hollander. Unwilling MHL sex icon Shane Hollander, the face on many mens' dart boards.

    or, JJ on the enigma of (his feelings for) Shane Hollander over the years.

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    07 Apr 2026

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    In his efforts to become the best captain possible, Shane accidentally cultivates among his teammates a debilitating praise kink.

    (Or, the unforeseen consequences of prolonged and repeated exposure to Shane Hollander's beautiful big brown bottom eyes, and its documented effects on a worrisomely increasing number of professional hockey players.)

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    07 Apr 2026

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    @mensicehockey2k
    Hopefully Hollander and Rozanov make statements about this soon. Lots of young kids look up to these guys. Super disappointing if it’s true.
    11:58 AM ᐧ 18 Jan 2017 ᐧ 399K Views

    @starweavergia
    this is like the opposite of being told your parents are getting divorced #hollanovwedding
    11:12 AM ᐧ 18 Jan 2017 ᐧ 86K Views

    @rizzanov_official
    GOOD MORNING GIRLIES HOW ARE WE ALL FEELING TODAY #hollanovwedding #hollanovnation #hollanovontop
    11:09 AM ᐧ 18 Jan 2017 ᐧ 570K Views

    Shane and Ilya get drunk that night in Tampa and wake up married in Vegas.

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    06 Apr 2026

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    06 Apr 2026

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    Ilya was used to hazing. He had been subjected to it, he had participated in it, and, as a captain, he had stood guard over the rookies and protected them from anything truly harmful. But if he had been asked, Ilya would have approved of this prank. He would have authorized it, given Cliff and Vicky his seal of approval, perhaps even helped orchestrate it.

    Any other day, Ilya might have been happy to play along.

    But, in perfect dramatic irony, it had not happened any other day. It had happened today. And, cherry on top, of course the rookie had to walk in when Shane was already freaking out about Ilya saying his name.

    +++

    A prank-gone-wrong leads to the Boston Bears finding out about Shane and Ilya’s relationship in 2016. The day Ilya first invited Shane into his house. Right after they say each other’s names for the first time. Fuck his life, honestly.

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    06 Apr 2026