pinkhat



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    Ilya Rozanov is many things—a pain in Shane Hollander’s ass, hockey’s biggest playboy, a better chirper in his second language than most people are in their first, the only player who can challenge Shane for the title of “best of his generation.” But when Shane and Ilya get stuck next to each other on a long-delayed flight to the MLH Awards, Shane realizes something else about him: Ilya Rozanov is hot.

    ***

    Shane and Ilya never hooked up at the CCM shoot. Seven years later, they end up on the same flight from New York City to Las Vegas.

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    04 Aug 2026

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    It takes living through four iterations of the exact same day for Shane to think, okay. Maybe this doesn’t have anything to do with hockey.

    In his defense, it’s not like time loops come with a manual.

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    1/3
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    27 Jul 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    What do you do when you’re getting married in six months and you have 22 guys whose literal jobs are to do whatever you tell them?

    The Ottawa Centaurs are conscripted to pull off their captain’s wedding. The fact that they still don’t know who he’s marrying is entirely beside the point. (All the signs are there. All of them.)

    UPDATE: Chapter added at the end. The real story is chapters 1-5 (about 13k) with a bonus chapter 6 (about 12k all on its own)

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    26 Jul 2026

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    “If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?” Quickly, Ilya adds, “Don’t say that you want to know if you win the Cup.”

    “Why not? What if that’s my answer?”

    “Is so boring, Hollander. Of course you want to know this. But Ilya Rozanov and Boston Raiders exist in this world, so crystal ball says, so sad, but no.”

    “Fuck off. What are these questions even for, anyway? Are you interviewing me for something? Wouldn’t you have to, like, tell me if you were?”

    Ilya is quick to assure Hollander before his paranoia takes him right out of this phone call. “It is not for interview, Hollander. I am just wondering. Answer the question.”

    “And I can’t say that I would want to know whether I win the Cup.”

    “Yes, other than that.”

    “I guess… I guess I would want to know, like, am I happy?”

     


     
    Ilya reads an article about 36 questions that are supposed to make people fall in love. He decides to ask them to Shane.

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    26 Jul 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Ask Ilya Rozanov and he’d tell you that the only thing worse than being a broke PhD student was being a broke PhD student facing eviction from your Humans Only rent-controlled apartment because you maybe, accidentally got yourself Turned over summer break.

    Cue the Bloodbanker$ app and its allegedly discreet and lucrative arrangements: a whole swipeable nest of generous Vamp4Vamp ‘Donors’ waiting for the perfect fledgling to spoil.

    Seducing an old rich dude with this hot bod? Light work.

    ‘Shane, 30*, O+’ wouldn’t know what hit him.

    Language:
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    22 Jul 2026