sainttano
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i forgive it all as it comes back to me by sainttano
Fandoms: The Last of Us (Video Games)
29 Aug 2026
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Summary
They head towards Catalina Island. Or where Abby thinks Catalina Island is. Her memory is hazy from the constant pain and fear and exhaustion she’s experienced since the Rattlers captured her—how long ago had that been?—but she still remembers, faintly, the US map painted on the wall in the Seattle aquarium. Had Catalina Island been somewhere south of Santa Barbara? All she can really remember is Yara, alive despite her amputated arm, curiously admiring the map beside Abby.
Whatever. As long as she’s heading away from Santa Barbara, it’s the right direction.
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Abby and Lev heal after Santa Barbara.
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John’s hand slides down his cheek, along his jaw, cupping the side of his neck. Dean shivers as the cold of the silver wedding band on his ring finger glides across his skin. John’s gaze slips off Dean’s face, but each time his bleary eyes claw their way back to meet his son’s. His cracked lips move, yet no sound comes out.
He’s drunk, Dean tells himself. He’s always been more touchy when he’s drunk.
But the discomfort rises the longer John’s hand lays on his neck, the longer Dean wrestles with the knowledge that he knows exactly who his dad is looking for in his eyes.
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Dean takes care of a drunk John and has some thoughts.
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Sam knows this has to be a hallucination, a sick fantasy conjured up by Lucifer to keep him company until the torture starts again. But it seems so real that for a moment Sam lets himself get lost in the details—Dean laying on the motel bed, arms crossed behind his head, eyes shut in bliss as he nods along to the song blasting in his headphones. He slips fries into his mouth, ignoring the salty flakes getting all over his shirt.
Sam’s eyes latch onto his fingers, crusted with yellow dust. They’re Lucifer’s fingers, he knows it, and he also knows what those fingers will do to him after this fantasy is over. But the level of detail is so striking that he’s starting to doubt himself.
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After the Cage, Sam has a hard time telling the difference between illusion and reality. Dean helps him figure it out.
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It’s been four months since Sam went to hell when Dean wakes up to his brother laying in bed next to him.
At first he thinks it’s Lisa, sleeping on her side, facing away from him. But the slope of her shoulder is more angular, the curve of her waist straighter, and under the blankets she’s wearing an awfully familiar brown Carhartt jacket.
No, it isn’t Lisa.
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Dean tries to make amends with a hallucination of Sam.
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It takes him approximately twenty seconds for him to read the three words, printed in bubble letters on the shiny surface—HAPPY FATHER’S DAY!
Sam’s heart hammers in his chest as Dean stays silent. The grin on his face is gone, and Sam’s hammering heart drops into his stomach. Maybe this was a bad idea, maybe comparing his older brother to their late father was the world’s worst idea and nobody told him—
Dean bursts out laughing.
“Oh, Sammy,” he says, smiling again. “I think you got the wrong balloons.”
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Sam surprises Dean for Father's Day.
Recent bookmarks
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“So, you’ve been here before?” Dean looks around at the Christmas lights strung up and tries not to shift where he stands, hands in pockets, Sam in his peripheral.
“No, it’s uh, kinda out of the way.” He rubs the back of his head — sheepish. “And the VTA only goes to like Hostetter.”
Or: Dean picks Sam up from Stanford for winter break. What else is there but the gap between them?
Bookmarked by sainttano
09 Oct 2026
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“What’s the last thing you remember?”
Sam frowns. “I—we were in the car. We were headed to work on that witch case I think? That’s—that’s it, though.”
Dean studies him, as if trying to determine if he’s lying, and Sam fidgets under the scrutiny, knowing there’s nothing else he can say. Finally, Dean nods, and there’s a heaviness to his expression that Sam can’t make sense of. “You got whammied. Just—” Dean holds up one hand and whistles as he flops it down, as if to mime Sam collapsing. Sam winces. “Took me a bit of time, but I got it figured out.”
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sam & the aftermath of a s8 case—thoughts on memory & change & the remembrance of sammy.
Series
- Part 4 of don't stay awake, don't go to bed
Bookmarked by sainttano
05 Sep 2026
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Summary
Wrists bound above his head. Nine days of silence broken only by a knife and a voice that never raises. Sam has stopped asking what she wants from him. He's started wondering what will be left of him by the time anyone finds out he's missing, if anyone does.
Bookmarked by sainttano
04 Sep 2026
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Standing in front of the bathroom mirror, he removed the tissue to get a better look. Fortunately, the cuts appeared to be shallow, the bleeding only a sluggish ooze. Then he leaned in closer when he realized the lines weren’t just random slashes. They formed discernable letters, much like the crude initials Sam and Dean had scratched into the Impala with a knife when they were kids. The etchings in his skin were more than just initials though; there was no mistaking the word the letters spelled out backwards in the mirror.
FREAK.
Bobby. Castiel. Dean. One by one, the members of Team Free Will have had their spirits broken in their quest to stop the Apocalypse.
It's Sam's turn.
Bookmarked by sainttano
08 Aug 2026
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Summary
Sam has been acting strange all day, constantly finding excuses to be away from Dean when they're supposed to be working a case. Every time Dean asks, Sam insists it's just a headache, and when the constant lying pushes Dean right up to his limit, he calls for backup.
Once Castiel and Sam are alone, Sam readily admits he's much sicker than he let on and explains there's no point in hiding it from Castiel because, well, Castiel doesn't care if Sam is sick and would never allow it to jeopardize a hunt the way Dean would. Castiel isn't sure how he feels about the accusation, but even more troubling than that is the way Sam's symptoms keep getting worse.
Bookmarked by sainttano
06 Aug 2026