stronkbird
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paper pushing (and other cruel and unusual punishments) by flipthebits
Fandoms: Naruto (Anime & Manga)
30 Aug 2026
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Summary
After a string of botched missions, Kakashi receives a mandatory break from active field duty. Stuck in the village with little else to do, he begrudgingly accepts an assignment to a short-staffed mission desk for the duration of his leave.
The only person more unhappy about this than Kakashi is Iruka Umino.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 58,888
- Chapters:
- 19/19
- Comments:
- 730
- Kudos:
- 881
- Bookmarks:
- 163
- Hits:
- 16,805
Bookmarked by stronkbird
06 Sep 2026
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Summary
After years of settling into a comfortable life as a sensei, Iruka is pulled back into the field for an S-rank he has no business being on, utilizing an ability he’s hardly ever trained, with the same mission captain who had overseen his final fuckup in the field years ago. A mission captain who doesn’t seem particularly happy to be working with him again.
Iruka probably wouldn’t be particularly happy about this, either, if he wasn’t focused on just trying to make it home alive.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 63,675
- Chapters:
- 18/18
- Comments:
- 786
- Kudos:
- 1,385
- Bookmarks:
- 305
- Hits:
- 26,852
Bookmarked by stronkbird
03 Sep 2026
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When the Rokudaime finds himself without an assistant, Iruka begrudgingly steps up to the plate as a replacement. He convinces himself of two things: that the position is only temporary, and that his long-harbored feelings surely won’t get in the way of serving his new hokage.
…Exactly how long he can keep up that charade is another matter entirely.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 24,640
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Comments:
- 275
- Kudos:
- 1,564
- Bookmarks:
- 270
- Hits:
- 15,530
Bookmarked by stronkbird
01 Sep 2026
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Summary
Brushing debris off of the note, Iruka gently unfolded it, trying not to rip the damp creases.
"Ukki-san enjoys watering three times a week, gentle dusting of his leaves, and daily haiku readings. He tells me the light from your bedroom window is perfect.
He would like to thank you for taking care of him, and tells me I owe you two favors now.
Back in twelve days.
P.S. A perfect mission report is worth at least four favors, sensei, so think of something else."A henohenomoheji stared at Iruka in place of a signature.
(Or, Kakashi doesn't know how to ask someone to care for him, so he'll get Iruka to look after his plant as a proxy.)- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 26,779
- Chapters:
- 9/9
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 358
- Kudos:
- 1,996
- Bookmarks:
- 423
- Hits:
- 23,095
Bookmarked by stronkbird
30 Aug 2026
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Summary
Exasperated with the ever-increasing number of well-meaning but annoying busybodies who seem to think he needs a man in his life, Iruka finally breaks down and asks Kakashi to be his fake-boyfriend in order to keep the wannabe-matchmakers off his back.
The only problem is, Kakashi turns out to be a much better boyfriend than Iruka anticipated.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 28,182
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 248
- Kudos:
- 4,044
- Bookmarks:
- 821
- Hits:
- 41,669
Bookmarked by stronkbird
15 Aug 2026