Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.

Einstein once said that.

It's raining in New York. Actually, scratch that, raining might be too weak a description for current events.

There was a heavy deluge, flash flood warnings, and all the works. The sewers are backed up, so naturally there are also people in flip flops walking through 4 feet of opaque brown water. Oh, and Jet Skis driving down the flooded street.

Peter has had his work cut out for him. He's spent the afternoon pulling people out of flooding subways (that New Yorkers were still trying to enter despite waist deep water), rescuing civilians from subterranean parking garages where the cars were learning to swim, and performing sublevel residency rescues for the elderly and other such movement impaired individuals.

Ahh, if only politicians didn't find essential infrastructure for natural disasters to be "costly, foolish, and environmentally unfriendly."

It is raining in New York and there's a lot of flood damage, but the rain is coming down quite lightly now which is why Spider-man is slinging and swinging his way home.

Most of the work he can do has been done. What was going to flood has been flooded and the water isn't coming down faster than it's running off anymore. No one new in need of rescue has popped up recently, just a lot of pissed off busy bodies who've had their high speed schedule throughly interrupted. Many such disgruntled New Yorkers are still making reckless decisions to try to get to their oh so urgent destinations, but there's really only so many people you can try to save from themselves before you have to give in to the futility of trying to stop them all.

As he moves through the city Spider-man notices something that surprises him: a masked man in a knock off red and blue spandex suit hanging from a 5th story window sill and screaming for help in the middle of this flash flood. It's honestly impressive that the man is able to maintain a hold on that rain slick surface at all, maybe this mysterious screaming Halloween Costume Spider-man has sticking powers too.

Peter would assume this kind of thing wouldn't happen in the middle of a natural disaster, but apparently he needs to expect the unexpected more.

Spider-man begins to web his way over to the screaming man, intent on rescuing him before he falls to his watery death. The street may be flooded but it's nowhere near deep enough or clutter free enough to cushion a five story fall.

Before he gets there, another figure appears in the window. Deadpool sticks his infuriatingly familiar red and black head out of the window that Discount Spider-man is hanging from and places his hands over the Discount Spider-man's.

"I swear to God, please don't let this be a sex thing," Peter says to himself as he hurls through the air.

Then Deadpool pries the other man's fingers off of the window sill and the man drops to his imminent demise.

A quick shot of webbing changes that. Fake Spider-man's demise becomes significantly less imminent as Real Spider-man lands on the wall next to the window and sticks the web that Fake Spider-man is now hanging from to the window sill.

At least it wasn't a sex thing.

"I think we've had enough stuff fall from the sky today," Peter quips.

"Oh Em Gee, Spidey!" Deadpool exclaims. "If I knew throwing less attractive Spider-mans out of windows would summon you then nothing personal to Toby Maguire but I would have thrown him out of a window ages ago."

"No, no no no no, do not murder people to try to get me to talk to you!" Peter insists.

"But baby boy," Spider-man flinches at the pet name, "It's a crime to put on your suit without the bubble butt to match."

"See this is why I don't talk to you. That does not make someone a criminal, you killing people is criminal!"

"Hey there, I never said anything about the k-word," Deadpool's voice drops a bit, it gets all gravelly, sexy, and sort of serious, "and blaming a spree of serial robberies on my favorite hero does make flat-ass down there a criminal. You understand if I take that personally don't you?"

Blushing beneath the mask, Peter splutters, "I'm your favorite hero?" This is so not important right now. Peter shakes himself out of it. "You know what, I don't care. It still doesn't mean he deserves to die." Peter points an accusatory finger at Deadpool, "This is not okay Wade. Um, I'll be right back"

Spider-man unsticks himself from the wall and drops down to the webbed up lookalike robber who's hanging a story and a half above the floodwaters.

"Identity theft is a felony, you know." Peter says as he grabs the man and dissolves the string of webbing he's hanging from.

The man doesn't say anything, he just hangs limply in Spider-man's arms.

"Sir, are you okay?" Peter asks as he breaks the lock on the nearby window and maneuvers them inside.

Oh shit, was the web catch too rough? Is he dead? "Oh God," Peter gasps, "Please be okay."

Looks like this window was in the hall of an apartment complex. He lays the unmoving man down on the floor and looks for a way to remove the fake spider-man mask.

Turns out it's not a mask, it's a full spandex suit and the head is part of it. Peter finds the zipper at the top of the man's head and rolls the limp man onto his side so that he can unzip it. The zipper only goes down to the man's upper back but that's fine, he's not trying to take him out of it, just uncover the man's face.

The man does have a rather unattractive face. Deadpool was not in fact wrong to refer to the imposter as a less attractive Spider-man. On the topic of Deadpool, Peter can clearly hear the mercenary whistling as he makes his way down the stairwell.

When Deadpool comes around the corner Spider-man has two fingers pressed against the bare skin of the man's jugular and his head is tilted so that his ear hovers just an inch or two over the man's mouth, listening for breath.

"Ouch, your impersonator's mug is almost as unfortunate as mine! Normally I'd be super down to watch some mouth to mouth action between two Spideys but-"

Spider-man cuts the mercenary off before he can say anything else. "I'm not giving him cpr. He's breathing, his heart beat is steady, and he doesn't seem to be injured. I think he just passed out from the shock of the fall."

Peter picks up the unconscious man bridal style.

"Aww, that's just unfair, I want a big strong alpha to carry me like that." Deadpool says as he skips down the hall towards Peter and the open window.

"Do not throw yourself out that window, I will not pick you up." Spider-man states as he stands there awkwardly, carrying the 'probably a robber unless Deadpool is lying about that' but unsure where to go with him.

He doesn't necessarily have reason to assume that Deadpool is lying, but despite his fondness of the crazy merc he also doesn't have good reason to believe him. It's not the most plausible story he's ever heard. If the man is indeed a serial robber who wears a spandex spiderman onesie to commit his crimes then why the hell is he wearing the suit right now? Why anyone would be attempting a B&E in this weather is beyond Peter's comprehension.

Normally handing this possible burglar off to the police department would be the best course of option, let them sort out fact from fiction, but the police department has bigger problems right now. He can't just leave this man passed out in the hallway either.

Spider-man asks, "Whose apartment did you throw him out of anyway?"

"Mine." Deadpool responds.

"What? Really? Why was he in your apartment?" Spider-man says, even more confused now, and a bit irritated. Peter is tired, he doesn't want to find somewhere better to take the unconscious man in his arms, he just really wants a nap.

"Si, la casa de Deadpool," Wade shrugs, before elaborating, "I lured sticky fingers to my place with rumors of unguarded shiny treasures. I can't say I was expecting him to show up during Hurricane Sandy but it was a treat that he did, it got your bug butt in my building."

"Um alright." Spider-man responds, then pauses before rambling, "It's not a hurricane. It's just really bad rain, global warming and stuff, and I know that you know that spiders are arachnids. Stop calling me a bug!" Peter takes a breathe and then rambles on "Look if this guy is who you say he is then I'm not gonna just let him go, but the police are pretty busy coordinating emergency services at the moment and I am so not taking him back to my place, if you live here could we just throw him on your couch for now? And no you absolutely can not kill him. I guess my body double and I could just stick around until the rain stops. Would that... be okay?"

Deadpool lets out a fangirlesque squeal of delight.

Aww shit, Peter just invited himself to Deadpool's home. What kind of decision is that? Deadpool is a mentally unstable serial killer who flirts relentlessly, who just casually invites themselves into the apartment of a person like that? Okay yeah according to Deadpool he only kills bad guys, but that absolutely does not justify killing. This unconscious dude would be dubiously safe there, and it's not like Peter trusts Deadpool enough to take the nap he really really needs there. Oh well, no take backsies, Peter is too tired to come up with a better plan anyway.

Human stupidity is infinite; sometimes it can be hard to remember that you are also a human capable of infinite stupidity.

...

Wade certainly didn't expect the copycat spidey to show up today of all days. Imagine trying to swim all the way home lugging a giant bag of cash, then again we are talking about the same man who thought dressing up as a superhero would let him get away with crimes. Never underestimate the stupidity of idiots.

As Deadpool opens the apartment door he announces, "I'm getting sick of using creative names for this dipshit, let's name him Chad. Get it? It's irony, cause Chads tend to get around but this ugly fuck sure as hell ain't getting laid any more than I do! If I'd known he was desecrating your colors with a face like that, I would have diced him up before throwing him out the window."

Repulsed by the mention of people being diced, Spidey takes a step back. "You're psychotic. Ugh, I should just carry him to the police station."

"Chillax baby, I'm not gonna unalive him now. Come inside." Wade gestures widely over the threshold.

[Heh, cum inside.]

Wade chuckles. Spidey gives him the side eye but allows himself to be coaxed into the residence.

"Couch is over here!" Deadpool jumps onto the mattress set in the middle of the exceptionally tiny studio apartment.

Taking in the lack of other seating, and the small space available, Spider-man sighs and webs the robber to the wall next to the door. "That's not a couch."

"Potato, tomato, there's no difference." Wade responds and tosses a Nintendo Switch controller at the hero.

Spidey catches it and comments, "I thought mercenary work paid better than this."

"It does!" Wade exclaims. "This is just one of many safe houses I have to hole up in if I need a place to regenerate at. All it needs is a bed, honestly I don't even need that much, I just prefer it. Fridge is stocked if you want something to drink. I've been staying here for a few nights while waiting for our friend Chad."

Spider-man hesitantly approaches and Wade pats the spot next to him on the mattress. "Come sit by Daddy. Let's play some Mario Kart. Rain should let up in a few hours, around 5am according to the forecast."

[There are far better things you could be doing on this bed, Like taking Spider-man's knot up the ass]

That would be a wet dream come true.

(Or pinning him down and shoving your dick up his while he struggles and screams for help)

"No, not without consent and a safeword." Wade hisses under his breath.

"What?" Spidey says in confusion before asking. "What time is it even?"

The time is on the upper right corner of the TV but Wade pretends to check his nonexistent wrist watch before responding, "1:37. Why? You got school in the mornin?"

Spidey scoffs, "Of course not. I'm not a kid."

"Yeah, well you might not be but I'm still a child at heart, so come play with me baby boy."

"Ugh, I hate it when you call me that."

(We could call him Alpha instead, maybe he'd fuck you then.)

[It is so rude to call people by their secondary genders outside of the bedroom, he'd dislike that pet name the most.]

(We are in a bedroom dipshit)

Surprisingly Spider-man does in fact take a seat on the mattress next to Wade.

…

Spider-man flops back onto the bed in defeat as the victory screen displays 'Daddypool' in first place for the 7th time in a row. 'Webface' on the other hand isn't even in second place.

Wade can't really savor his victory over the hero though. How tired must Spidey be that now even the AIs are kicking his beautiful ass?

Speaking of beautiful, Spider-man looks downright gorgeous splayed over Wade's Egyptian cotton sheets.

It's a shame his superhero idol would never look twice at Deadpool's unfuckable mug. It hurts so good to want someone you can't have.

Spider-man really looks like he could use some caffeine. Deadpool hops up off of the mattress and asks, "Sure you don't want a pick-me-up Spideybabe? There's some Dr Pepper & Cream Soda in the fridge," as he walks the few steps from the bed over to the miniature kitchen.

Spider-man moans in response.

What the fuck, that sound should be illegal. Instant half chub.

"That sounds so good," Spidey says. "Yes please. I'm really thirsty actually, could you grab me two of them?"

"Guh," Wade squaks as he struggles with the sudden unexpected arousal. "Yeah, sure thing."

Deadpool grabs three cans of the Dr Pepper and cream soda mashup from the fridge, tucking two under his left arm. Before he even closes the fridge door a line of webbing zaps into the soda can in his hand and yanks it away.

Spidey catches it, pops the tab, lifts his mask to his nose, and downs it in one go.

Fuck, his mouth is pretty. His skin is so clear, it looks soft.

"Dayum, you're thirstier than a thot." Deadpool jokes as he steps back to the bed and hands a second can over to Spider-man.

"Tell me about it, my mouth has been dry all day today," Spidey responds as he cracks open the second can in unison with the mercenary opening his own.

Wade raises an eyebrow, "Gotta keep that pretty mouth wet. Soda's not very hydrating. Maybe you should drink some water too."

Nodding, Spider-man says, "You're right, that would probably be a good idea"

[Has hell frozen over? That might be the first time anyone has said that to you]

Wade turns back to the kitchen, waiting until his back is to Spidey before he lifts his own mask to take a sip. He nurses the cola drink while he grabs a glass from the cabinet and fills it with filtered tap water.

Making sure to pull his mask down before he turns back around, Wade meanders back to the mattress that serves as both couch and bed.

"Lubrication for your lips." Deadpool says as he hands over the glass of water.

"Thank you."

Spider-man's beautiful bare lips saying 'thank you' to Wade is something he tries to cement in his memory. This moment deserves to be treasured forever.

Spidey downs the glass of water in one go, and whoa, is his second can of soda empty already? If Wade drank that fast he'd probably throw up. Should Wade be worried? Eh, it's probably fine, supers' bodies don't work the same way as your average person's does. Many supers have crazy high metabolisms.

Spider-man yawns, scoots back a bit and grabs a pillow from the head of the bed. He lays back down, curling up on his side and burying his nose in the pillow.

(He's scenting you)

No, he isn't scenting Wade, he's just tired. There's no way Spider-man would ever want to scent Wade.

"Mm really tired," Spidey mumbles from the pillow, "mind if I just, take a little nap?"

Okay, something is definitely wrong. There's no universe in which Spider-man with his mask half pulled up would ask Deadpool if he can sleep in his bed, not to mention that there's still an unconscious robber whom Deadpool tried to off earlier today webbed up in the same room.

…

It's hot. Peter's body feels warm all over. He thinks someone might be asking him a question.

"Hey, Spidey?" It asks. The voice sounds familiar and safe. "Are you okay?"

Peter is more than okay, he's relaxed, happy. This scent is the best thing he's ever smelled and he could die happy listening to that voice.

"Mhm," Peter responds, "smells good."

"Shitfuck. Sweetheart, I think you might be going into rutt. Honey, can you tell me how long it's been since your last rutt? It's important."

Rutt? Peter doesn't have rutts.

"Mm not going in't rutt" Peter mumbles.

It's too warm now. Everything is burning. His body is on fire.

Peter gasps, "Make it stop, it hurts."

"If it's not rutt then I don't know what's wrong sweety." Deadpool says

That's right, he's with Deadpool. Clever, funny, bulging muscles Deadpool. Peter's never been a fan of the muscular type but with Deadpool it's different. Everything about Deadpool is obscene.

Peter whimpers and curls up tighter, clutching the delicious smelling pillow to his chest. "Pool please."

Deadpool tugs the pillow out of his grasp and Peter whines at it's loss. Peter lunges after it, sitting up in the process.

Without the scent overwhelming his senses, his mind clears, the burning subsides. The panic sets in.

Deadpool. He's with Deadpool. Crazy, lecherous, is weirdly kind to Spider-man, kills people for a living Deadpool. Nothing about Deadpool is safe.

"Did you drug me??" Peter shouts and scrambles backwards away from the mercenary.

"How dare you," Wade responds.

How could he be so stupid, Peter knew better than to trust the merc. Why did he drink that glass of water so trustingly?

"You psychotic loathsome murderer, I knew this was a mistake. Ahh!" Peter doubles over in pain as cramps wrack his body.

Deadpool snarls as he moves towards the retreating hero, "I didn't fucking drug you. I am the antithesis of that, those types of people are the reason I am a murderer."

Peter backpedals into the wall and then leaps onto the ceiling to get away from the approaching mercenary. From his new upside down vantage point he watches Deadpool sniff and then freeze in place.

…

Spidey smells bittersweet, sweeter than he did a moment ago. Spider-man has always smelled bitter and sexy, like most alphas do, but as his scent gets stronger it keeps getting sweeter. Sweet like sex, sweet like pre-heat.

Either Spider-man got himself dosed with some sort of krazzy date rape drug Wade has never heard of or...

"My common sense is tingling!" Deadpool announces.

"I, what?" Spidey stutters from where he hangs. Even with his mask only pulled up to his nose, Wade can still see the flush on Spider-man's face.

"Webs, are you an omega?"

"That's," Spider-man gasps, "none of your business." He gasps again. "Oh god!" He clings tighter, pulling his whole body up against the ceiling.

The hero whines and let's out the filthiest moan Deadpool has ever heard. It goes straight to his cock and also pisses him off.

It pisses him off because unlike rutts, heats have perfectly predictable cycles, which is why it's a misdemeanor for an Omega to leave their nest when their heat is due, and that moan just confirmed it: Spider-man is definitely an Omega whose heat is very due.

If Spider-man is in pre-heat then it isn't safe for Spidey to leave the apartment. Spider-man also definitely isn't safe if Deadpool stays here. Spidey's heat will definitely trigger Pool's rutt if Wade sticks around much longer. So Deadpool's just going to have to beat it, and not in the fun way. The damn streets are still flooded, he's not looking forward to wading through that shit.

(Why leave? Spider-man is here because he wants you to knot him, that's why he invited himself over. Classic heat trap)

[As if any omega would ever want your ugly knot. Maybe he forgot his heat was due today?]

(Who cares if he forgot. Don't you want to feel that sweet pussy tug on your knot. Clenching hot, and wet, and tight. Squeezing so good-)

"Damn it!" Wade complains, "Omegas. We tell you time and time again not to go out if your heat is due, but you just don't listen. This is my fucking apartment! Now I'm gonna have to get my suit wet. Shit!"

"No, no this can't be a heat, not now," Peter pants as he presses himself into the ceiling.

How can Spider-man be so smart about other things but so stupid with his own health. It's really dangerous for omegas to not keep track of their heat cycles, and it's dangerous for everyone around them too.

"Don't you mark your calendar like every-fucking-body else does, or do you get off on being a public nuisance?" Deadpool snarls. It smells like heaven in here and it's making him dizzy and even more irritable. Wade's cock is painfully hard already. He really needs to leave.

(Don't leave, this omega needs you. He needs you to fuck him. Just think how miserable his heat will be without a cock to fill him)

[Yellow, shut up. Spider-man does not need us.]

"I'm sorry. I would have- ngh. I would have marked it down if I'd known when it would be," Spidey stutters.

"How could you not know when your next heat would be? Heat cycles are one of the most well researched things on the damned planet. Ain't you supposed to be a genius or something?" Deadpool bitches as he tugs on the boots he'd removed earlier while gaming.

"Ah," Spider-man pants, "I've um, never had-" he cuts himself off with a whimper, nuzzles the fucking ceiling and then gasps "This is my first."

This is Spider-man's first heat? But that would mean he's underage...

The anger drains out of Wade in a rush, replaced by a bottomless feeling of horror and creeping guilt. "Shit, baby boy. You told me you weren't a kid. Were you lying about being out of school?"

"No, I didn't lie about being out of high-school," Peter whines and admits, "I'm just not as old as most graduates. I took extra credits and finished early."

Definitely a kid. A kid having his first heat, his only unpredictable heat, cause he's only just hit that stage of puberty.

Christ on a cracker, Spider-man is 17 at the absolute oldest. He might even be as young as 14. Deadpool could literally be twice as old as him.

[Wade, you piece of shit pedophile]

Deadpool grits his teeth, finishes tying his boots, reholsters his guns, and slides his katanas back over his shoulders. He then marches over to Chad, who is still unconscious and webbed to the wall next to the door.

"Don't kill him!" Spidey shouts.

Wade sighs. "Spoilsport. I'm just cutting him loose." Deadpool draws a katana.

"A sword can't," gasp, "cut through my webs," whimper, "and you were right to complain, this is your apartment not mine. I'll just go. It's not that bad, I can still," long drawn out moan, "web home."

He makes real pretty sounds for a kid, and Deadpool is going to burn in hell if he ever succeeds in killing himself.

"No, you're not going anywhere like this. It's not safe for you to go out." Wade growls softly as he begins cutting Chad out of the webbing. "Me and Chad here are leaving before you put me in rutt and I fuck your underage brains out."

Spider-man whimpers wantonly. Then he gasps, in surprise this time, as Deadpool cuts through his webbing. "You have access to nano-ceramic, ughnn, fiber composite materials?"

"Duh," answers Deadpool as he works Chad loose from the cocoon. Chad is starting to twitch. The jackass is gonna be awake soon and he really needs to get him out of here before that happens.

Male omegas are rare. If he wanted to, Deadpool could probably pin down Spider-man's secret identity with just the information he learned tonight. He sure as hell isn't going to let Chad learn that Spider-man is an omega.

Spidey whimpers and moans in the background like the sweetest music Wade has ever heard. It almost sounds like those sweet sounds are getting closer, so Wade sneaks a peek over his shoulder. Spidey has crawled across the ceiling closer to him and is staring at Wade with his lips parted, breathing heavily. He looks away and works faster at cutting the robber loose.

As Deadpool tears Chad loose and throws the slowly waking man over his shoulder he notices the sudden silence. Spidey's not whimpering and moaning in the background anymore.

That's a bad sign, Spidey's pre-heat must be over already. Deadpool feels like he's about to knot in his pants and his skin itches all over. If his rutt is triggering then Spidey is definitely in heat now.

"Fuck!' Wade cusses. Time to go before he tries to fuck Spider-man.

"Alpha," Spider-man growls.

"Don't," Wade warns, "I know you don't want a piece of this. You're in heat, not mindless." He slides the deadbolt out of the lock and flings the door open. Deadpool slams the door closed, violently thrusts his key into the hole, locks it, and runs down the hallway.

Chad squirms as he wakes up then starts screaming again when he realizes who is carrying him.

Deadpool takes the stairs down three and four at a time. He'll live even if he falls and breaks his neck, and if he accidentally kills Chad it's no sweat off his back. The most important thing right now is getting himself away from the temptation of Spider-man's heat before his rutt takes over.

He's only made it about two floors down from his apartment when something smacks into his gluteus maximus and he's suddenly being lifted off his feet.

Chad flips over Deadpool's shoulder as the mercenary is upended. The robber smacks into the landing and the back of Chad's head slams into one, two, three steps before Deadpool lets go of him.

Deadpool is being pulled up the center of the stairwell like a puppet on a string, at least until he comes to his senses and whips out his katanas. Web be gone. Deadpool cuts himself loose and drops.

Spider-man shoots out more web fluid with perfect aim. Two strings of webbing attach to the hilts of Wade's katanas and tug hard, effectively twisting them out of his grip. The blades spin and Bea clips off the tips of his right pinky and ring finger.

Another shot of webbing catches him around the waist and pulls him up to where Spider-man is lurking.

"Alpha," the Omega growls hungrily

Wade wasn't expecting Spiderman to chase him down.

…

Deadpool struggles futilely in Spider-man's grasp. Peter doesn't understand why his alpha would try to leave him. Wade obviously wants him, he's always flirting with Peter.

Wade is his alpha, his! The one Peter lies awake at night desperately trying not to think about. How dare he leave him alone in their nest?

"You're mine," Peter hisses.

"I am not yours," Deadpool responds with a grunt as he dislocates his shoulder in an attempt to wriggle out of Peter's hold.

Peter pins Deadpool to the ground with his feet and grabs Wade's dislocated shoulder. Deadpool makes a small sound of pain as Peter twists it back into place

"You don't want me," Deadpool insists. "I know you've been surrounded by my scent all night and it's making you a little insane right now, but you really really don't want me. Snap out of it baby boy."

Peter just growls. Of course he wants his Alpha. Peter knows what he does and doesn't want. He wants Wade's knot, not anyone else's, not even his best friend MJ's knot. If anyone else tried to knot Peter he'd hurt them. No one but Wade.

"I want you." Peter says.

Deadpool groans. Spider-man picks him up with one arm and clutches Wade to his body with an iron grip, carrying him like an oversized, human shaped football.

The mercenary doesn't stop struggling. Wade squirms and twists, causing the merc's ribcage to make several disgusting popping sounds.

"Shit," Deadpool whines as Spider-man drags him back to the apartment. "This is why they say to be careful what you wish for."

"You want me," Peter says.

"Not like this. Fuck, no, not at all, you're just a kid. Put me down Spidey, there are toys in the nightstand you can use. You'll like the way they feel. Trust me Omega, they will feel better than me."

Why would Deadpool have heat toys in his night stand? Peter snarls and shakes the mercenary in a sudden rage. "You've had other omegas in our nest?"

"It's not your nest. I can have whoever I want in my bed." Wade winces. "Ow ow, fuck, broken ribs are the worst. Stop squeezing, there are no other omegas! I use the toys on myself. I like alphas, all the homo."

His anger now pacified, Peter hums in contentment and carries Wade over the broken pieces of door and into the apartment. It unlocks from the inside but instead of finding the lock earlier, Peter had simply smashed through it.

…

Blood from Wade's bleeding hand smears across Spider-man's chest as he tries to shove himself free. The heat crazed superhero doesn't seem to notice or care.

(I take back my earlier suggestion. We wouldn't have been able to pin him down and shove a knot up his ass while he struggles and screams for help. This guy is way stronger than you)

Deadpool gets manhandled around and tossed into the bed. He lands on his back, cries out as he bounces, and then arcs his spine up off of the mattress in pain. God damn it do broken ribs hurt like a bitch. This is more painful than having an arm cut off.

At least the pain of losing a few fingers and breaking a few bones should help keep him sane. The pain will stop him from going into rutt for a while, perhaps an hour or two.

Wade tries to scramble up and off of the bed, but Spidey just kicks him in the solar plexus and his winded aching body slams back into the bed.

Swift as a spider, the hero scuttles over him and snatches up Wade's wrists.

He pulls Deadpool's hands to the wall at the head of the sorry excuse for a bed (no headboard, just a mattress laid on the floor). Then Spidey webs Wade's hands, wrists, and the upper half of his forearms to the wall.

Knowing that he can't tear through Spider-man's webs with his bare hands doesn't stop Wade from trying. He fails. Deadpool is effectively handcuffed to the bed.

(Kinky. Your wet dreams are coming true)

[Pedophile]

Wade tucks his knees up tight to his chest and kicks out with his red combat boots.

Spider-man casually catches each foot in his hands and tears the boots off of Wade's feet.

Ouch. Bye bye foot bones. Those aren't meant to be taken off without untying them first. If every Omega was this strong the world would have a serious problem.

"You're terrifying, like a black widow except sexier than she is." Wade says.

[You just called him sexy]

"Damn it, I called you sexy. I didn't mean to do that, I'm gonna go to hell when I die now."

Spiderman webs Wade's broken ankles to the foot of the bed and growls, "Mine."

"I guess I kind of am now," Wade concedes, "webbed up like a fly. You don't want to eat me for dinner tho, I irritate the bowel."

Deadpool can't move his hands or feet so he instead lifts his ass and twists his hips from side to side in an attempt to dislodge the hero. All that succeeds in doing is create friction.

All the pain had softened him up a bit but the friction gets his cock fully hard again. Btw boys and girls, a hard cock does not equal a consenting man.

Spidey apparently can't unlock a door but can unbuckle a belt and unbutton the pants of Deadpool's suit.

"Wait, stop! Do you have any idea how many STDs I could have?" Wade quips.

Spider-man just growls in response and takes off his own pants. Scratch that, suit. He climbs out of the entire suit, with the kind of speed that can only come with practice. Oh dear gods Spider-man goes commando under the suit. When the hero finishes removing his costume he's left clad in only his Spider-man mask, which is still pushed up over his nose from when he lifted it to drink earlier.

Beautiful clear, soft, freckled teenage skin. He's lean and mean with corded muscles. So lithe, but so defined. Spider-man's body is a masterpiece, a work of art. He's drop-dead gorgeous from his pretty pink nipples to his yummy pecs, popping biceps, ripped abs, and huge male clit. So goddammed handsome.

(We're gonna fuck him so good)

[You're a disgusting terrible person and he's never going to forgive you if you let him put your dick in his little pussy. You'll never come back from this, fucking a child. You deserve to die if you fuck this boy.]

Wade whimpers, the sound turning to a choked out moan as Spider-man wraps his long fingers around Wade's cock.

Spider-man strokes him from the tip of his prick to the zipper of his pants, tugs at the base of Deadpool's ugly scarred cock, then strokes back up and squeezes the head of Wade's dick.

"Unph" Deadpool groans, "Don't do that. Stop. Don't you see what an ugly prick I have? You don't want to fuck me. We can still stop this. You don't have to do this, kid. I have perfectly good toys in the nightstand that could get you through this heat better than I can. You don't want to ruin that perfect pussy by putting me inside you, oh god please put me inside you."

Spider-man continues stroking Deadpool's cock as he shimies his hips up and over Deadpool's lap.

"Did I say put me inside you?" Deadpool rambles nervously, talking fast, "I meant to say please don't put me inside you. You're to young to be having sex kid. You shouldn't be with anyone for your first heat, let alone moi. Come on, I know you can hear me. Shake off that heat haze baby boy and think a little. You don't want to do this. I don't want to do this!"

A finger sliding over the slit of Wade's penis causes his hips to jerk and his penis brushes against the omega's vagina. "Nng, ah," Wade pants.

Spidey grasps Wade's shaft firmly in one hand and grinds his tiny cock against Deadpool's dick.

"Fuck, Wade." The hero moans as he rubs his enlarged clit against the alpha's penis.

"Spidey, please stop." The older man begs.

Shaking his head in refusal, Spider-man replies. "No, Alpha." He shoves the head of Wade's cock against his entrance. "Need you inside me. Gonna make you feel so good."

"Sweetheart no. Please don't make me do this," Wade begs as Spider-man presses his pussy down onto Wade's cock. "oh God," the head slips inside and Wade short circuis, "yes, please, fuck, Spidey!"

His mind goes fuzzy. It feels so warm. That perfect hot and slick gentle pressure. Beautifully wet. Wade wants to bury himself in that pussy and let his knot swell.

"Oh, oh," the little sounds of ecstasy spill from Wade's lips as Spider-man sinks down onto his cock.

Spidey makes the cutest little "ha, hah, ah," noises as he takes Wade into him.

It feels like a religious experience watching Spider-man descend. When he bottoms out Wade's eyes flutter and roll into the back of his head. Spidey is so tight.

The Omega makes a noise of irritation when his rear end settles on Wade's open zipper. Wade's pants get shoved down the merc's thighs so that the offending fabric is out of the way. Then Spidey slips his hands up and under the shirt of Deadpool's suit.

Spider-man's hands feel hot and smooth and perfect on Wade's rough skin. He curls his fingers gently into Wade's chest then lifts his ass, sliding back up Deadpool's shaft. He then slaps his butt down onto Wade's pelvis and thighs. Then does it all over again, bouncing up and down on Wade, fucking himself on the alpha's cock.

"Fuck, kid, you speared on my dick is the hottest thing I've ever seen." Deadpool announces and gives in, he can't hold back any longer, he thrusts helplessly up into the hero with defeated groans of pleasure.

"Wade. Alpha. Yes. Wade." Spidey moans out as he fucks himself down on the pinned mercenary who's thrusting his hips up to meet him. The boy leans back, coincidentally giving Wade a better view of their reproductive parts meeting.

"Oh Spidey. Jesus, look at your little clitdick bouncing on my lap." Wade gasps. "Fuck, if I wasn't already going to hell I would be now. You're so beautiful. My amazing Spider-man. You gorgeous perfect creature."

Spider-man moans loudly, and then pauses the circular motion of his hips. He sits still with Deadpool's cock inside him like a king resting on his throne.

Spidey looks at Wade and says, "I wanna kiss you." He then leans forward and paws at the seam of Deadpool's mask.

Wade jerks his head from side to side in an attempt to stop him. "No, please don't. I don't want you to see my face."

Without hands to stop him the superhero easily grabs hold of Deadpool's mask and pulls the whole thing up and off, revealing the horror that is Wade's face.

Seeing the expression of disgust in the curve of Spider-man's mouth is enough to make Wade's cock soften inside of the boy. Deadpool turns his face to the side as far as he can in an attempt to hide, but Spidey grabs his chin and forces him to face the hero head on.

It's unsettling to be examined in such a manner, especially since Spider-man's face is still mostly covered by his own mask and is therefore quite hard to read.

"Welcome to the freak show, beautiful," Wade jokes in an attempt to make himself less uncomfortable.

"You are a freak," Spider-man responds, "but so am I." The boy begins rocking his hips again. "You're my freak, my alpha."

[He doesn't really mean that]

Spider-man leans in, it feels like it's happening in slow motion, the whites of the Spider-man mask seeming impossibly large, and then suddenly his pretty mouth is pressing against Wade's. It feels like a dream. Spider-man can't actually be kissing him.

Wade holds still as Spidey bites at his lip and tries to force his tongue into the merc's mouth. Wade doesn't want to kiss him back because Wade doesn't want to kiss a kid, but this is Spider-man, and Wade has already got his dick inside him, what's the point in resisting his desire?

(You're never going to get a chance like this again, just kiss the pretty child)

When Spider-man whimpers it's the last straw, Wade kisses him back. He parts his lips for the beautiful kid and licks his way hungrily into the hero's pretty pink mouth.

Deadpool devours him, he pours his soul into the kiss. He disassociates from the physical sensation and loses himself in his hunger for the hero's attention, the hopeless hope for more, the fear of tomorrow, the heartbreaking guilt of fucking this gorgeous child who Wade has been half in love with for the entirety of the two years since Spider-man popped up on the streets of New York and walked into Deadpool's life.

Spider-man's just so good, and smart, and fucking funny. No one else can keep up with Wade like Spider-man can. There's something indescribable about the hero that just tugs at Wade's soul.

Fuck, why did he have to be a kid? But if not for that, if not for this unplanned heat, Spider-man's very first heat, then Wade would never get to have this. He'd never be able to kiss him like this. He wishes he could hold him. Wade wishes he could move his hands, he wants to touch his precious Spidey. He'll never get the chance to touch Spider-man because this will never happen again. Wade can't bear to live with having done this, and can't bear to live knowing that he'll never be able to do it again.

Tears roll down Wade's cheeks as he licks and kisses the pretty mouth that's pressing into him and tearing out his heart.

Spider-man kisses to the corner of Wade's mouth and licks his way down the mercenary's jaw. Spidey nips and sucks on his jawline, leaving marks that instantly heal. He keeps traveling lower as Wade lets out vulnerable little sex sounds.

"Ah, ah, Spidey what are you- aah, oh god that's my scent gland! Ngn, guh."

The hero sucks love marks into Deadpool's mating glands as the mercenary squirms and moans like a hentai chick. As the marks heal the hero sucks harder, leaving deeper and darker bruises.

The attention on his scent glands is making his nerves go haywire. It feels like he's being electrocuted. He barely feels conscious.

Deadpool loses time, he doesn't know how long Spider-man has been suckling at his mating glands but it's too much. Wade has never felt this oversensitized in his life.

Spider-man eventually pulls away from Wade's neck and Wade slowly comes back to himself.

The handsome hero is perched atop Wade like some sort of masked sex god, his mouth is open and moaning but his eyes are still covered. Wade would give just about anything to know what Spider-man's eyes look like right now.

Deadpool's cock is sliding in and out of the boy as the hero rides him harder and faster, and harder still. It hurts. If the boy keeps slamming onto him like this then Wade's pelvis is going to shatter under the onslaught.

He can feel his knot somehow building despite the pain. He's starting to go into rutt, fuck!

"Yesss," the omega hisses as the knot grows inside of him, "Knot me, breed me, fill me with your cum."

"Oh shit. No! Spideybaby you're not on hormone control yet are you." Wade says in panic, "No, no no no, I can't cum inside you sweety, you don't want me to knock you up. Please, please get off of me." Wade pleas and starts to cry again.

Deadpool sobs loudly as he tries to twist his body away, as he fails to get enough leverage to pull his half-knot out of the boy. He's fighting against his biology, desperately trying to hold back his rutt. Getting this poor kid pregnant would be the worst thing he could do to him. He should have seen this coming, should have prevented it all somehow.

"Yes, yes, knock me up!" the omega mindlessly babbles, "fill me full of your pups, Wade. I want it. Give it to me."

"No! Kid, I don't-" Deadpool sobs and hiccups, "I don't even know your fucking name!"

"Not a kid," Spider-man gasps, "Peter," he says as he viciously fucks himself on Deadpool's throbbing half-knot "my name is Peter. Can you knot me now, Wade?"

Peter licks up a teardrop as it runs down Wade's face and begs, "Please Alpha, I need it."

"Peter," he's losing this battle. Wade can feel his mind slipping, the rutt subtly taking hold. Breeding Peter sounds like a great idea, like everything he's ever wanted. He can't wait to fill Spider-man up with his cum. "Spider-man's name is Peter."

"Peter, Peter, Peter," Wade mumbles as thrusts his hips.

"Fill me up Wade," Peter begs.

"Fuck, Peter, yes, I'm gonna fill you up so good. Can't wait to give you my babies." Wade babbles as he rutts up into the omega, "Peter. Peter. Peter. Such a pretty name."

Wade's knot swells large enough that it finally catches and locks them together.

"God, yes, Wade, cum for me!" Peter shouts and slams their mouths together in a sloppy kiss.

Wade's back arches as he spills inside of Peter.

Peter rocks his hips and Wade cums some more.

Peter keeps rocking, milking Wade's knot, and Wade keeps cumming,

and cumming,

and cumming.

It hurts. Wade is crying out in pain but Peter doesn't stop. Peter just swallows Wade's cries with his kisses and milks Wade dry and then some, because Wade's healing factor is too fast.

Wade is out, he's done, but his regeneration replenishes just a few drops, and then Peter milks those last few drops out of him again,

and again,

and again.

Peter must have taken his mouth off of Wade's because Wade can hear himself screaming.

There are teeth in his neck, tearing through his mating glands.

The pain ebbs, the screaming gets quiet, and Wade's consciousness fades.

...

Peter is licking at the closing wound on Wade's neck, humming in pleasure at the taste of copper on his tongue. It tastes like safety, satisfaction, and comfort. It tastes like home, like love.

The skin reforms under Peter's tongue and he growls in irritation as the flavor of his alpha's flesh is sealed away. This isn't right. He feels abandoned, denied. He needs to taste his alpha right now and know that he is loved and accepted.

Maybe he just didn't bite hard enough. He'll have to try again.

Peter tilts Wade's face to the side so he can assess the scent glands on the other side of the mercenary's throat. The merc's head turns without resistance, his neck limp.

Scarred skin breaks under his teeth as he cuts in deeper this time. He can feel Wade's muscles tearing under his lips and his blood running down Peter's chin.

Peter rocks on his Alpha's fat knot while he lavishes at the gaping wound on the alpha's throat. Tiny orgasms wrack through Peter as he revels in the taste of his alpha and the pressure of Wade's knot inside him.

It takes longer this time but the wound under his mouth is healing again.

So Peter bites Wade again. He covers the mercenary's neck in bites. He moves back and forth between the mercenary's left and right mating glands, biting them at every angle, desperately trying to leave a bite that remains open and weeping red.

He bites deeper and harder with every bite, brutalizing Deadpool's throat as he gently fucks himself on the alpha's knot.

The bitemarks turn into silver scars as they heal, proof of a healed mating bite, but Peter is too out of it to notice. He leaves mating bite after mating bite until Wade's neck is pure silver, untill his alpha's knot has receded and the cock inside Peter has gone completely soft.

Nuzzling at his alpha's pretty silver scent glands slowly calms Peter down. He feels high on Wade's bitter pheromones.

God he smells so good.

This is a great dream. This is the best dream Peter has ever had. He's drempt of fucking Deadpool before but this is the first time Peter has drempt of scenting the infuriating alpha, the first time he's drempt of lounging sleepily across the mercenary's muscular body, the first time he's dremt of Wade's soft cock resting inside him.

Such a perfect and vivid dream.

Deadpool is motionless beneath him, his gorgeous blue eyes closed, his scarred features expressionless in sleep.

Wait a second, why isn't Deadpool wearing his mask? How does Peter know what Deadpool's scarred face looks like? Why does he know Wade's eye color?

Memories of removing Deadpool's mask while riding the mercenary's cock come to Peter's mind.

Oh god this isn't a dream.

Peter scrambles up off of Wade in shock. He stands trembling next to the mattress. Cum leaks out of Peter and dribbles down his thigh. His hands cover his mouth as he gazes in horror at Deadpool.

The mercenary is unconscious. Deadpool's hands and feet have been webbed down, and his throat is covered in blood. Wade's right hand is also covered in dried blood. The pants of Deadpool's suit are bunched up around the merc's ankles, and Deadpool's limp cock is surrounded by a puddle of still drying cum.

"No," Peter says, "no no no, please. Oh god. This can't be happening."

…

The window is open, rain pitter patters on the floor.

Wade doesn't want to open his eyes. He would much prefer to lie here in his bed and pretend that nothing is wrong.

[Get up, it's time to kill yourself]

Deadpool sighs, "I don't want to."

[You knotted a child]

"Nope, didn't happen." Deadpool denies.

(The bitch looked so pretty riding your cock)

Wade opens his eyes and scowls, "Shut up."

(We pumped that kid so full of cum)

"I said Shut up!" Wade snaps and sits up.

The webbing that was previously pinning him down has mostly dissolved. It takes Spider-man's webs about two hours to degrade, but it's still raining, so not much more time than that could have passed.

Peter is gone.

[Did you really expect him to still be here?]

(I bet he ran away from your ugly mug as soon as the heat haze lifted)

"Probably for the best." Deadpool mutters.

Dried blood and cum is smeared all over him, he is maskless, and his pants are bunched up around his ankles.

Deadpool kicks off his pants and gets out of bed. He removes the upper half of his suit while he walks towards the bathroom. Little flakes of dried blood fall and scatter across the floor tiles as he clambers into the shower stall.

He twists the tap, sets the temperature high enough to burn, then stands under the stream of hot water, hissing in pain as it singes his hideous skin.

Even after scrubbing away the filth he still feels dirty. Water can't wash away guilt, and the memory of Peter's touch is a guilty thing.

Yellow and White are thankfully silent as Wade showers.

When he gets out water spills off of him onto the tiles. He doesn't bother drying himself off, nor does he glance at his reflection in the fogged up mirror. Wet footprints mar the hardwood as he trudges to the dresser.

Wade ties on a white kimono, then he throws the harness for his katanas over his shoulder and resignedly steps over the destroyed remnants of his apartment door.

He meanders down the hall of the apartment complex to the stairs where Peter had caught him earlier. It's not morning yet, if he's lucky Bea and Arthur will still be in the stairwell.

Sure enough, the scene is exactly as it was when he was dragged away only a few hours ago.

His katanas still lie where they had fallen as does the body of Chad. The man has rather obviously died from the serious head wounds he incurred upon the stair.

"Aww shit," Wade says, "he didn't even get any lines."

Wade descends the stairwell, acquires his katanas, slides them back into their sheaths, then grabs hold of the dead body by the wrist and begins dragging the corpse back up to the fifth floor.

[What are you doing?]

Wade explains "We couldn't let people find him like that. Can't let Spidey hear about the cause of death and end up blaming himself."

Chad goes 'thud, thud, thud,' as his limp body flops up the stairs.

Upon reaching the fifth floor Wade meanders back down the hallway and into his apartment with cadaver in tow.

He heaves Chad over to the open window and tosses him out.

"There," Wade says as the body slams onto the flooded concrete below with a loud splash, "death by Deadpool."

[He's going to hate you for that too]

"Eh, can't be helped. No good deed goes unpunished." Deadpool responds as he searches the apartment for his wakizashi. He knows he's got at least one stashed somewhere in here.

"Aha!" He announces in triumph as he draws the wakizashi from the knife block on the kitchen counter. It was hidden in plain sight with the culinary knives.

(Sudoku time!)

Wade kneels on the kitchen floor, then plunges the Japanese blade into his abdomen and cuts horizontally across his stomach, staining the white kimono red.

"Fuck that hurts." Wade gasps.

[You can't reclaim your honor when you didn't have any in the first place]

"Maybe not, but I can at least shut you up." Wade says as he lifts the blade behind his head.

He takes a deep shaky breath and then swings the blade down, severing his spinal cord at the neck.

In the split seconds before death claims him he hopes that his body will take a long time to regenerate. He doesn't want to be alive today.