Chapter Text
Sanji had been cold, so cold he could hardly remember what it was like to be warm. Now he felt feverish. Every breath shot through him like a bullet and his body ached down to his bones. And he was hot. He was so hot he couldn’t stand it.
He pried his eyes open. The room was dark, but he recognized it as the infirmary. He also realized why he was overheated. Chopper was curled up carefully against his neck and shoulder, Luffy was sprawled across him like a snoring, drooling heated blanket, and Nami was bent forward across his lower legs from where she fell asleep sitting in a chair. Beyond them, he could see a red couch pulled into the room. Franky was reclining on the couch and Robin slept propped up against his side. Usopp was hunched forward, snoring over some bits and bobs he’d been tinkering with. Jinbei was most likely on watch with Brook.
Sanji’s heart warmed and he smiled.
These idiots. Sleeping here wasn’t going to make him heal any faster. They should be in their own beds, where they could rest comfortably.
His breath hitched and a quiet grunt escaped his lips. He felt wrong in his skin, too big, like an over stuffed sausage about to burst. The physical act of breathing was suddenly something strange and new. With every breath air was pulled in and expelled, lungs like billows stoking a fire and oh how it burned. He was conscious of the movement of his chest in a way he hadn’t ever been before. He could feel his heart beating without pressing any pulse point. His muscles were stiff from being still so long and everytime Luffy shifted in his sleep it was like someone was pounding a hundred white hot stakes into him. It was overwhelming and painful and wonderful.
He was alive.
Sanji smiled.
The next time Sanji woke up, the sun was just peaking through the window. Franky and Usopp had resumed their tinkering but were careful to be quiet so as not to wake anyone else. Robin was browsing a book titled “Bounty Hunting Made Easy! How to Hunt Someone Down on the Open Seas!”
Someone had pulled a blanket up over Nami’s shoulders, though she was still sleeping in a bent and uncomfortable position. His eyes finally landed on Zoro and he startled a little internally. The swordsman was looking right at him, gaze intense and unwavering.
Sanji cleared his throat.
“Good morning.” he said to the room. Chopper sprung up from his shoulder and started asking a million questions while collecting physical data.
“Sanji! How are you feeling?!” He shone a pen light in his eyes, and seriously where did he get that, was he sleeping with it? “Are you dizzy? Nauseous? How’s your breathing?”
“Not great, Chop.”
“Oh no! I was worried about fluid settling in your lungs- what does it feel like?!”
“It feels like a reindeer is standing on my broken ribs.”
Chopper looked down at where he was standing and screamed.
“Ah! I’m so sorry! I’m the worst doctor in the world!” He jumped off of Sanji and bowed frantically.
Sanji chucked and ruffled the fur on the top of his head.
“You’re a great doctor. There’s nobody else I would rather have had watching over my body for me.”
Chopper stilled and looked down at his clasped hooves guiltily.
“But...I gave up on you. Even if I couldn’t have done anything, even if it wouldn’t have made any difference because of the devil fruit, I should have tried. Weren’t you sad? That I didn’t?”
“What? Chopper, no. Even I thought I was dead. I didn’t want you all circling my body and grieving. I didn’t think- Never mind, just, don’t feel bad about what you did or didn’t do when you had every reason to think I was gone. It was a messed up situation but it’s over now. We all made it through to the other side.” He didn’t blame Robin or Zoro for wanting to kill Crane, he didn’t blame Zoro for disappearing when he should have been comforting his Nakama.
Sanji couldn’t imagine how he’d react if he lost any one of them.
Chopper sniffed and his eyes gained a steely determination.
“You’re right! There’s no point holding onto regret! I can’t change anything from back then!”
“Yeah.” Sanji encouraged.
“I can only change what I do going forward! So from now on, Sanji, no more smoking!”
“Ye- wait what?”
“I’ve already let it go on too long! I’m never gonna regret anything I didn’t do ever again!” Chopper fished Sanji’s fresh pack from out of his dress pant’s pocket and ran them over to the porthole.
“Wait! Chopper! Give those back!”
Chopper opened the circular window and threw his cigarettes overboard.
“This is the perfect time to quit too! Your body has already gone without for a while so you can avoid the worst of the withdrawals!”
“My body’s gone without air for a while too but I don’t think it got used to that!”
Chopper raced from the room, no doubt to dump the rest of his stash.
Sanji sighed in defeat. If Nami weren’t sleeping on his lap he’d already be chasing after the little doctor.
Wait, how could anyone have slept through-
Nami cracked an eye open with a mischievous grin.
Sanji gaped, betrayed.
Nami straighted, stretching her arms and popping her back.
“Come on, you’ll let him have this, won’t you Sanji? After all, he was pretty worried.” She said lightly.
Sanji’s expression became somber.
“Yeah, I know. I saw.”
Luffy, somehow still sleeping, pushed his face further into Sanji’s lower ribs, arms wrapping tighter around his middle.
They had been so distraught. He still didn’t think he was worthy of that. But he couldn’t deny any more that they love him, truly and fully, every one of them. He didn’t know how to handle that.
He sat up, holding back a wince as it pulled on his ribs.
Nami frowned and said,
“Yeah, no. You just turned paler than Brook on a cloudy day.” His vision had gone grey at the edges, but he saw a perpetually ink smudged finger coming up to his forehead.
He let it push him down and swallowed back his embarrassment.
Robin stood and closed her book.
“I’m glad to see you awake again, Cook. I’ll bring you something from the kitchen.”
It was like someone had shouted fire. Luffy shot up and raced for the door.
“I’ll get Sanji food! He needs meat!”
Sanji groaned at the sudden movement and the thought of what Luffy was going to do to his kitchen. Franky laughed and heaved himself up.
“No worries, Curly-Bro. Robin will help him and I’ll fix anything he breaks.” He pat Sanji’s shoulder on his way out, the motion taking longer than usual.
It was just Usopp, Nami, and Zoro now.
Nami exchanged a pointed glance with Zoro, who scowled. Nami crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow. Zoro huffed and looked away. Nami smiled victoriously.
She stood gracefully and squoze Sanji’s hand before leaning forward and kissing his forehead.
Sanji turned bright red and floundered, shocked and confused.
Nami laughed, high and loud.
“Just checking. You’re going to be just fine.” She wiped a tear from her eye and sighed. “I promised Brook to relieve him on watch so he could see you when you woke up. I think he’s looking forward to giving you a proper hug.” She sauntered out, still giggling. From the hall she shouted, “Usopp! You have to go to the bathroom!”
Usopp looked Zoro’s way before letting out a long and groan.
“Fiiiiine.” He left his tools and stood, popping his back. He rolled his eyes and shrugged. “Apparently I have to go to the bathroom.” He started to head for the door.
Since he woke up, Usopp hadn’t looked him in the eye once. The sniper was working very hard to look at ease.
“Usopp.” Sanji called after him. The sniper froze but didn’t turn around. “I’m proud of you.”
Usopp’s shoulders trembled and his voice was tight.
“Kay.” He ran out the door.
Sanji smiled.
He didn’t deserve the love of his nakama, so he’d just have to love them even more. If all it cost him was his pride, well, he could live with that.
Sanji let his eyes fall closed. After a deep breath that still burned his throat and displaced his ribs, he steeled himself enough to ask,
“So, what exactly do you have to say, Mosshead?”
Zoro was silent. Sanji had nearly fallen back asleep when he finally spoke, voice rough and layered.
“Don’t do that again.”
Sanji huffed half heartedly.
“I’ll do what I want, idiot.” He heard a stool scrape harshly against the wood floor and crash against the wall. “And, I don’t want to see any of them in that kind of pain ever again. Guess I’m stuck with a long life and your bad attitude for the next several decades.”
Zoro growled.
“You should have said that in the first place.” Zoro growled. Something in his voice was thin and emotional and Sanji had kept his eyes closed to let the swordsman keep his stupid pride but now he couldn’t pretend to not know Zoro had cried.
"Idiot."
Luffy slammed the door open, arms full of food- well, meat. Five different kinds on one massive platter.
“Saaaaanjiiiii! I brought you lots of meat!”
He jumped up on the bed and Sanji grunted when his captain landed on his stomach.
Chopper rounded the corner.
“Luffy! I told you! He needs to start with soup!”
“Nah-uh! He needs meat so he can get strong again faster!”
Sanji let a low laugh rumble through him.
“Thank you.”
For the food, the friendship, the hope. For being so good and so kind. For loving a man like me.
“Thank you.”