Iyabebe



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    Ilya is… well, Ilya.

    Everyone in the hockey world knows him.

    The Russian menace. Killer on ice, even worse on sight.

    Their friends and family know more than others.

    The best captain. Perceptive, funny, a hidden softie.

    But Shane knows him most.

    Which kills him sometimes, because people so wildly underestimate just how good his husband actually is. He gets that it’s all jokes, harmless chirping, and Ilya also doesn’t care. But it starts getting annoying when people talk like Shane could “do better.”

    Better than Ilya? The ILYA? He wants to scream in their faces.

    But Shance can’t, so he’s going to scream into the void instead. Except somehow this void grows to 2 million followers in a week, and Shane has never been good at being subtle.

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    10 May 2026

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    “It is the worst day of my life,” Ilya declares, throwing himself dramatically onto one of the kitchen stools. “I went to go get lunch at Russian place I like, the one with lamb pelmeni? They had sign on the door. They are closing. Forever.”

    -

    Or: Ilya’s favorite Russian restaurant in Ottawa is going out of business. There is only one thing Shane “Mr. Real Estate” Hollander can do.

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    10 May 2026

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    For perhaps the first time ever, Shane’s birthday was going to have nothing to do with the Stanley Cup playoffs. Shane would not be attending any of Bood’s watch parties, nor would he be sitting on the floor in his parents’ house, watching game tape while his mom and Ilya debated Colorado’s passing lanes. He would certainly not be lacing up his skates and flying past some insignificant defenders on his way to his fifty-fourth playoff goal.

    No. Shane’s thirty-second birthday would be spent camping.

    ***

    AKA the hollanov goes camping fic that no one asked for, but I provided anyway. A very loose 5+1 of five times things did not go as planned on Shane and Ilya's camping trip, and one time Shane fixes it.

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    10 May 2026

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    [An image of this year’s NHL East All-Star team, including Ilya Rozanov, Shane Hollander, Wyatt Hayes, Troy Barrett, Carter Vaughn, and Scott Hunter, all smiling after winning this year’s NHL All-Star Game in Las Vegas]

     

    @NHLInsider There’s rumor going around that Page Six has evidence from last weekend’s All-Star Game that two NHL players are romantically linked. Checking my sources to see what I can find out. Will update later. This could have huge implications if true. 

     

    Posted on February 12 2:30 pm

    ***

    @ssmith20 wut?

    @rozanoff no way fuck boy rozanov is involved in this. my money’s on barrett and hollander.

    @luverofhockey holy shit. if this is true, it’s going to be insane

    @hattrickzzzz @luverofhockey would it really be all that surprising? Hockey is one of the most homoerotic sports in existence. It wouldn’t surprise me at all if they had whole team orgies after every game.

    @shanehollanderswife there’s no way that reddit post about Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov being a couple is correct, right? ….right? 

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    10 May 2026

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    “Alright,” Harris says. “Since Luca brought it up, how well do you know your teammate?”

    “We are married. You know this, yes?” Ilya stresses with a small smile.

    “Exactly.” Harris says with a wink.

    Ilya nudges Shane’s leg with his knee. “Don’t embarrass yourself.”

    (ie. centaurs media day goes off the rails but it also was never on the rails to begin with. feat. public hollanov)

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    10 May 2026