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  1. Public Bookmark 21

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    Summary

    Encouraged by his mom to make friends online, 15-year-old Shane starts a YouTube channel to talk about hockey.

    His account finds Ilya all the way in Moscow, Russia.

    It turns out the internet can change a lot.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,046
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    46
    Kudos:
    113
    Bookmarks:
    21
    Hits:
    1,029

    05 May 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    i’m obsessed

  2. Public Bookmark 30

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    Summary

    “Drinking?” Ilya asked.

    Shane met Ilya’s eyes and shook his head slightly. “Uh, no. I don’t drink.”

    Ilya blew a raspberry. “Boring.”

    Shane rolled his eyes. “Not really.”

    “Very boring, Hollander. Sex?”

    Shane flushed bright red at that. “W-what?” His eyes were wide, like he’d never heard the word sex before.

    Maybe he hadn’t? Ilya didn’t know much about these Mormon people.

    OR

    Shane and Ilya are roommates playing hockey for Boston College. Ilya is happy to be free from Russia. Shane is a very anxious, stressed, and closeted Mormon boy who is trying to pray the gay away.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,724
    Chapters:
    3/10
    Comments:
    44
    Kudos:
    104
    Bookmarks:
    30
    Hits:
    1,526

    04 May 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    LOVEEEE

  3. Public Bookmark 32

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    Summary

    Ilya once felt free only in Moscow’s underground queer clubs until he left it all behind for hockey, for an escape and something safer than an increasingly hostile Russia. Years later, the Olympics bring him back and now Shane is there.

    What if "Not Now Hollander" and "We are nothing" was one of the best things that happened to Hollanovs early relationship?
    What if they are both up against something far greater than the impossibility of their relationship?
    What does fear, real, state-sanctioned fear and violence do to love? What happens when repression isn’t abstract, but present in every movement, every glance, every risk taken?
    What if Joe the figureskater, Leah, and Max are going to change lives and an unexpected Russian queer in exile becomes Ilyas fairy godmother?

    Shane arrives in Sochi 2014 focused only on the game. He doesn’t see the danger. He doesn’t listen when Ilya says no, but is then forced to open his eyes through events he has no control over. When Shane stumbles into the reality of violence against queer people, his world shifts.
    And somewhere, far from Russia that is no longer a home, Ilya searches for a way back to trust and back to Shane.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,251
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    28
    Kudos:
    50
    Bookmarks:
    32
    Hits:
    1,240

    03 May 2026

  4. Public Bookmark 2

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    Summary

    Shane Hollander is new to the league. He's willing to do anything to prove himself in the hockey world. There has always been rumors that he's gay, but he's never done anything to confirm or deny. He wants people to know him for his skill, nothing else. Ilya Rozanov is going on his sixth season. He can't seem to keep his focus off of the younger player who seems to be doing everything in his power to ignore Ilya.

    -Ilya has been playing for five years when Shane gets drafted. The longer they play together, the more obvious it becomes that Shane has a strong distain for Ilya, but that just won't do.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,453
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    5
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    158

    02 May 2026

  5. Public Bookmark 45

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    Summary

    Ilya could not stop watching one of the young men. He was focused and sharp. “Number 14, who is this boy? He is quick, better shot than Pike.”

    “Oh that’s Jacobs, good kid. I’ve coached him for a few years now.” the coach sounded proud. “I’m hoping to get the team to the finals this year. They’ve put in a lot of work, him especially.”

    “How old is he? Haven’t heard his name in the draft chatter for next year? No scouts?” Ilya sounded concerned. Shane wasn’t sure why he cared.

    Coach Michaels scratched his neck uncomfortably, “He’s good that’s for sure, only just turned seventeen, so he's not gonna be actually eligible for another year. Although I’m not sure the scouts would be interested.” He trailed off.

    Ilya wondered why this clearly talented young man wouldn't be eligible, there must be a good reason.

     

    Ilya and Shane support a young man as he figures out his place in the NHL, attempting to be who they needed when they were young.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,606
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    25
    Kudos:
    195
    Bookmarks:
    45
    Hits:
    2,834

    02 May 2026