Chapter Text
"You should probably give it up."
... What?
Shocked by those words, my All Might figure fell unceremoniously onto the floor. I felt tears prickle at the corner of my eyes and turned to look at my mother, who was in turn looking in disbelief at the doctor.Time seemed to slow down and I vaguely even registered the continuing of the conversation.
"Oh dear, so you really think there's something wrong with him? Most of the kindergardeners have begun to show signs already."
"Excuse me, but you're forth generation, right, ma'am? What quirk's do you and your husband have?"
My mother removed her hand from my back- when had she put it there- and let an object float in front of her.
It only made me feel worse. I had one wish, only one wish, and that was to become a hero. Couldn't god have mercy?
"Oh, nothing too special, I can float small objects towards me and my husband eats fire. They're useful enough I think."
The doctor sighed, casting a pitiful glance at Izuku before continuing.
"Izuku should have already manifested one of the quirks or a combination of the both, but after viewing his x-ray I don't think he's going to...You see, when superpowers first began appearing there were many research studies conducted and doctors discovered a link between the bones in a person's foot and their likelihood to develop a quirk. People with a quirk have only one joint in their pinkie toes, their bodies having evolved into a more streamlined version of the human form."
He pointed at the x-ray, which showed Izuku's foot.
" You can see here that Izuku has two joints in his pinkie like roughly twenty percent of the population.Based on the research that's available it's safe to say that your son isn't going to develop a quirk."
°-°
I was sitting in my room at the desk, watching the same video I watched every evening, but I couldn't focus on anything. I distantly heard the rain falling outside and the thunder rumbling.
I don't have a quirk, I am the only one in my kindergarden who doesn't have a quirk. My eyes were glistening with unshed tears, but it was nothing compared to the pain I was feeling in my chest. I was suffocating in despair and the video was making everything even more realistic, which made me even sadder.
"Fear not, citizens, hope has arrived!"
I looked up, just in time to see All Might flash one of his fearless smiles.
"Because I am here!"
I stopped breathing for a moment, my eyes widening as a sudden thought crossed my mind. Maybe if I worked hard enough, I could still become a hero, no matter if I have a quirk or not!
"See that, mom?" I started, turning to look at my mother, unsure of how to continue. "There's always a smile on his face, no matter how bad things get. Even when things seem impossible, he never gives up."
My eyes filled with tears again. Please... Say yes, tell me I can...
"Do you think... I can be a hero too?"
As soon as the words left my mouth, the tears on my mother's eyes started rolling down her face. That's when I knew... She had given up on me.
The hug she crushed me in felt like salt on a bleeding wound as I cried silently in her hold, my world crumbling before me. That's-That's not what I wanted to hear, couldn't you see... mom?
After what seemed like a little eternity, my mother let me go and ushered me to go get ready to bed.I felt nothing. Her words registered somewhere in the back of my mind and I went to the bathroom, hearing the front door open before I closed the door.
Ah... Dad is home...
I went to bed without any hugs or goodnight kisses. Shouts where echoing through the house, followed by even more shouting. I plopped down lifelessly onto my bed and closed my eyes, drifting off into an uneasy sleep.
I was a happy child with a happy life... I didn't think it would all fall apart so fast...
°-°
Dad left us. Roughly two weeks after I was pronounced quirkless, Dad packed his things, saying he didn't want to be related to that disgrace of a son. It took a great toll on my mother.Father was always her strength pillar and with him gone, she wasn't the same.
For the most part, she ignored me and started taking more night shifts.
At the Kindergarden, Kacchan started bullying me. After I told him I was quirkless, at first nothing changed. I still followed and admired him. But after I tried to help Kacchan when he fell into the river, his demeanour completely changed. The smiles turned into glares and the protective hands turned into heated fists.
The one person I always felt safe with, became the source of danger.
After about two weeks, everyone started calling me Deku.
"You can read the characters for 'Izuku' as 'Deku', you know."
That's how it all started.
At first I thought Kacchan was just joking, but with time, I understood why he called me that. I really did.
My father left my mother because of the failure I am.
My mother was disappointed in me and hated me because of how useless I am.
Kacchan made fun of me because I am a quirkless weakling.
Those thoughts occured more and more and I started believing everything everyone said.I started talking less, because my voice was annoying.I stopped fanboying over All Might.
This might be a shocking statement, but I lost my excitement completely. Everyday I woke up, everything I did seemed like such a hard thing to do. Even waking up.
The posters and figures are partially gone, only a few of those standing on my desk.I stopped watching that one video of All Might I always watched. It reminded me of how much of a failure I was.
Not to mention that I smiled and ate less.
But despite everything, I still had my wish to go to U.A. and become the number one hero, even without a quirk.
°-°
I got into elementary school. I thought that the bullying would finally stop, but...
Everyone made fun of me. It's because Kacchan head on told everyone I was quirkless. I knew my life was in ruins the moment he told everyone. The other kids faces practically gleamed with sadistic smiles.
Eventough Kacchan made my life hell, I couldn't bring myself to hate him, he was my first friend and I'll never forget that. Not to mention that I had a crush on him.
Disgusting, right?
Not only am I quirk less, but also a gay faggot AND in love with my bully. That fact haunted me ever since I realized it, made me more depressed. But I couldn't help it. Kacchan was amazing, because he was everything I was not. Strong, courageous, confident, he had a cool quirk...
A quirk... something I'll never have...
Right to my prediction, everyone started making fun of me. At first , it were only mean names and a few shoves here and there. I was nine years old when it got physical. My classmates started pushing me, pulling at my hair, or hitting me.
It hurt.
But what hurt more was the fact that my mother didn't care.I came home with bruises and cuts everyday, sometimes even broken bones, but nobody cared.
She didn't even look me in the eyes...
Seven years passed and nothing changed.
It got even worse if possible.
My mother's sadness turned into fury and she would lash out one me if I even as much as casted a glance in her direction. Sometimes she would also hit me. Reminding me of how much of a failure I am, is something my mother has also constantly been doing over the past few years.
I wonder how much longer I could take...
Sitting in my room, tears rolling down my face, I thought about tomorrow.It was my birthday.Nothing too special. We didn't celebrate it anymore, after all.
With a sigh, I turned on my back and blankly looked up at the ceiling, drowning in my thoughts. I fell asleep, not knowing that tomorrow something big would happen.
°-°
Today was another day of school.
Sure, it was my birthday, but for me it's not a day we celebrate anymore. Since my father left us, our home has been cold and empty. Just like my mother's eyes that weren't looking at me anymore.
At school, nobody knew my birthday except for Kacchan. But being who he is, he would just beat me up even more on that day.
Wandering through the school's hallway, deep in thoughts, I didn't realise a presence behind me, grinning sadistically. Until that person clamped a hand over my mouth and dragged me away, that is. The person led me outside into the alley beside the school's building and threw me against the wall. My head hit the pavement as I fell onto the floor, followed by searing pain. 'Oww...'
I hesitantly looked up, instantly greeted by the smirking face of Kacchan, who held his arms crossed over his chest in a smug way. My eyes widened in terror and I shrunk in on myself, willing to dissappear. My eyes found their way to the floor, which suddenly became so much more interesting than anything else, and stayed like that. I decided to stay quiet, or instead of going home with a few broken bones and bruised I wouldn't come home at all.
"Aw, is little worthless Deku afraid? Hahahaha! You haven't even gotten your birthday present from me yet!"
With those words said, Bakugou took out and punched me square in the face. It didn't stop there, Kacchan didn't leave me alone until I lost consciousness, bleeding heavily.
°-°
When Midoryia woke up, school had already ended. Covered in blood and with silent tears streaming down his face, the poor boy tried to stand up. At first, he fell down again, due to the immense pain he felt everywhere. After a few more attempts, and with the help of the wall, Izuku managed to stand up.
Talking slow steps, each step causing him agonizing pain, Deku walked into the school building. He passed many empty rooms, but stopped in front of one particular room.
Inside this room, there was a mahogany piano in the middle and a chair in front of it. Nothing else. Contrary to the occupation of the room, the room itself was very big.
Izuku made his way over to the piano and sat down, memories flooding his mind. How he fell in love with Kacchan and how he lost him, only because he was quirkless. He really did ruin everything.
A new wave of agony washed over him and Deku didn't stop the heart wrenching sobs he let out. Midoriya slowly let his fingers brush over the piano tiles, before beginning to play a sad melody. Soon after that, he started singing.
How can I say this
Without breaking
How can I say this
Without taking over
How can I put it down
Into words
When it's almost too much
For my soul alone
I loved, and I loved
And I lost you
I loved, and I loved
And I lost you
I loved, and I loved
And I lost you
And it hurts like hell
Yeah, it hurts like hell
As he was singing, Deku didn't notice the way his eyes started glowing light purple or the way he got surrounded by purple light.
I don't want them to know
the secrets
I don't want them to know
The way I loved you
I don't think
They'd understand it, no
I don't think
They would accept me, no
I loved, and I loved
And I lost you
I loved, and I loved
And I lost you
I loved, and I loved
And I lost you
And it hurts like hell
Yeah, it hurts like hell
Dreams fight with machines
Inside my head like adversaries
Come wrestle me free
Clean from the war
Your heart fits like a key
Into the lock on the wall
By now, small, glowing notes began appearing out of nowhere. The notes were floating softly in the air in what seemed like a bubble, moving to the rythm of the song. The whole room was being illuminated by warm purple light, but Deku was oblivious to it all, his eyes closed and leaking tears.
Midoriya opened his eyes slightly when he felt a strange, warm feeling in his chest. Seeing the purple light and the notes, he gasped, eyes wide and disbelieving.
I turn it over
I turn it over
But I can't escape
I turn it over
I turn it over
I loved, and I loved
And I lost you
I loved, and I loved
And I lost you
I loved, and I loved
And I lost you
And it hurts like hell.
After he ended singing, Izuku took a look at the scenario around him. The bubbles stopped moving and were just floating in the air.
He stood up as fast as he could, just in time for a note to float up in front of him. Fascinated, Izuku moved his hand in a circle like motion, his disbelief growing by the second when he saw the bubble circling around his hand. Could it be...
Concentrating on the warm feeling in his chest, Deku stretched his hand out and moved his hand to the left. His thoughts were confirmed when the notes also moved to the left. I have a quirk!
Not being able to contain his happiness, Deku smiled brightly for the first time in six years. He quickly took his bag and ran out of the room, ignoring his muscles screaming in protest at the sudden movements. All the boy could think about was that he finally had a quirk.
Now I can make mom proud, and dad will come back too...
Upon arriving at the house, he threw open the door and called out for his mother, eyes sparkling with life. However, his moment of euphoria quickly ended when he saw how empty and dull everything looked. The curtains were gone, the kitchen was empty and the table with the chairs were also gone. What happened...
Izuku moved to look at the living room, his heart sinking further when he saw that all the photographs were gone, the curtains were gone in the living room as well, the couch lacked pillows and blankets and the tv was also gone. No..., the boy thought. She wouldn't...
Dread settled in the pit of his stomach, his vision became blurry from the tears that prickled in the corner of his eyes as he ran as fast as he could towards his mother's room.Throwing open the door, Izuku looked around and screamed. "NO, NO YOU CAN'T!"
The room was completely empty, nothing was there. No table, no bed, no closet. The only thing there was a note lying on the ground.
Midoryia took the note in his shaking hands and looked over it.
Dear Izuku,
I'm sorry, I just can't do this anymore. I'm tired of everything, that's why I'm moving back in with your father in America.
Sorry
That day, his world completely fell apart.
Instead of crying or shouting, maybe even screaming in anger, the boy felt nothing.
Oh... right. Nobody cares....
His joy over having a quirk was replaced with heartbreaking acceptance as Deku dried his tears, his mind falling into a dark abyss of depression. His eyes grew could and lifeless and his body became numb.
That's right, nobody would care... Even if I got a quirk now, it wouldn't change anything... Better pretend I didn't get one. After all, this will only get me in trouble...
That was the day he started building barriers in his mind to seclude his emotional mask from the pieces, broken and shattered all over again, he really consisted of.
Izuku fell into the dark abyss of depression and it would be impossible for anyone to pull him out of it.
After all,
You can't save what's already dead.